#y'all know I like kid!fics you shouldn't be surprised

[elvisabutler]

my heart will lead me there soon

summary: after having freshly broken up with anita wood after a fight over his nature, elvis finds himself on a beach in the wee hours of the morning. you are on that same beach. fandom: elvis ( 2022 ) | elvis presley | austin butler pairing: elvis presley x reader technically, past elvis x anita, elvis x june, among others. rating: t-ish word count: 3,411 warnings: mentions of gladys' death. mentions of seal skin. mentions of turning into a seal. references to elvis's relationships in the 50s and the early 60s ( so june, natalie, dixie and anita ). prejudice against non-human individuals. author’s note: so basically everyone can blame @prompted-wordsmith for this because they kept spamming me with baby elvis fics and just whispered "so what if you did a ships in the night sort of fic with the reader and elvis post anita break up" and well. this was born. there's one or two lines that came from her as well. it seems sadder than it is, but i promise it's a sweet fic. this is completely unedited because i'm impatient and this feels like a hot coal in my jean pocket. let's be honest this is one of those fics i just started and half ran with. told y'all i was feeling really creative lately. and y'all know the drill read it with whomever you wish to.

Elvis figures he shouldn't be surprised. Figures that it was as inevitable as June breaking things off with him because he hadn't had the decency to remain true. That oh he got a little lonely and things just kept ramping up up and up. Elvis figures he should have known that sweet Anita, his little pee pee, his Chicken Little would hear his secret and think that's the last straw. Maybe if- maybe if he hadn't been like he was with June it would have been different. Maybe if he had stayed true to her too it would have been different. But now he tells her one more secret and shifts in front of her and hears a goddamn scream of horror and disgust that has him shifting back so suddenly and crowding her space as if to apologize only to have her practically yanking herself away from him.

"After everything? After everything you kept this from me? You're not even human?" Anita's voice feels like nails on a chalkboard, screeching at levels his ears register as painful in ways he only gets with the bad feedback of a mic.

Elvis winces at the accusation, the shame of her reaction nearly making him curl in on himself. He's always known it's a hard thing to come to terms with and knows that he had gotten lucky with June reacting so well when he told her but still Anita's reaction catches him off guard. Sets him on edge and makes his pride deflate even as a part of him wants to fight Anita.

"This- I wonder why I wouldn't tell ya! Actin' like I meant t'hurt ya by not tellin' ya. Jus' was tryin' to protect myself!" Elvis can't help but try and crowd her space, wanting to get her to stop screaming and get her to listen, be reasonable about this. "'m- 'm still Elvis, 'm still me."

"You're a seal, Elvis," she accuses, moving back as he tries to move closer her hands moving in front of her body to make him stop moving in front of her. "Our- Is it- How'd- I don't even want to know. You'd have made our kids like this too, wouldn't you? I'd have seal babies not human babies."

He opens up his mouth to try and defend against it and yet he knows he can't. He knows he's a selkie because his mama was one and her daddy before her and so on and so on. It is genetic but there's no guarantee it would have happened. Maybe- maybe his kids wouldn't be selkies. Maybe their first little Elvis Presley would have just been a plain ol' run of the mill human.

When he finally does speak, his voice is tight. "Proper name's a selkie, Anita. And- it ain't all my family that's like that. Jus'- hell, ya don't wanna listen 'bout this. Already know. Don't care 'bout it 'cept for those hurt feelings of yourn."

The words are vicious, he thinks, something close to how he talked to her with that leaked phone call and yet he can't help it. Can't help the vitriol that is pouring from his mouth. She's supposed to be the love of his life, the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with and now she's proving she isn't that woman. He can't turn her into a seal wife any more than he could make June forgive him for straying.

"My hurt feelings. I've put up with so much from you. This is the final straw, Elvis, I- I don't think we should see each other any more," Anita's voice shakes when she speaks and Elvis despite his anger wants to comfort her just a little bit. His hand moves out to touch her before she shakes her head, giving him the handkerchief he had given her with his initials sewn in it. "Leave me alone. I'm- I'm going home."

For once Elvis doesn't have it in him to fight, doesn't have it in him to have a blowout argument with someone he loves. If she wants to leave over this maybe it's for the best. Maybe she was never meant to hold his skin in her hands. Maybe she was never meant to have his children. Maybe she wasn't a seal wife. Maybe he wasn't supposed to have one- not yet.

He misses his mama during times like this. She'd have comforted him, shushed him and told him how it's alright, he'd find another girl who could be with him. His mama was so picky about the girls he wanted to date that every time when she would like someone he'd always think she might be the one. Hell, he remembers how she had hated Natalie and loved June and Anita and even Dixie. She wasn't here now, though, and never would be again. She wouldn't ever be there to swim with him and to remind him that it takes time sometimes and that he needed to find the perfect one.

"You'll know when you find her, Boobie. She'll feel like home and like me."

Except it's been years since he's had his mama and he doesn't remember quite what home is supposed to feel like any more. Only that it's not this stupid beach in California where the water is fine and so is the sand but he can only come here unbothered in the early morning hours. His shift is easy enough, a quick slide between his forms after he set aside his clothes in a hidden area. No one should be on the beach for another hour or so and it'll give him time to think. Give him time to swim with his handkerchief tied on his flipper. He shouldn't do that, he thinks but he can't help it. Can't help how he wants to wash away the scent of Anita with the tangy smell of the salt of the sea. That'll be something close to home, more than her perfume ever was.

Time as a seal passes by strangely and Elvis only knows it's not time to shift back from the placement of the sun in the skin but he can see a human shaped person on the beach as he comes onto dry land. The longer he stares the closer they start to be until he realizes it's a woman he's never met before. It's a woman who he's never seen before and yet seems to not bat an eye at the fact that there's a seal in front of her staring at her. Then again, perhaps it just hadn't sunk in that she's staring at a seal.

You honestly should back away, you think, you should back away and run from the seal in front of you. They could probably crush you and yet the more you look at the one in front of you the more you feel surprisingly at ease. If he wanted to hurt you he would have already but instead he appears to be sizing you up, trying to figure out what you're doing in relation to him.

Truthfully what you want to do is pet him, a silly desire born of just seeing how smooth his pelt seems to be and wanting to know how it feels in between your fingers. You have to remind yourself that he's a wild animal first and foremost though so the desire is pushed down deep inside even as you walk a little closer to him and notice there's a handkerchief tied to his fin with the initials EP on them. There's only one EP you can think of who'd have something like this and before you can even stop yourself you find yourself talking to this seal.

"Are you out here stealing Elvis Presley's handkerchiefs?" You practically coo at the seal as you bend down to untie it. Elvis briefly tries to move his fin back before he realizes just what you're doing and allows it. "This isn't yours, silly little seal. How'd you even find this, hm? He leave it behind after going for a swim some time? You don't need this any more than I think he does."

You look as if you're going to toss it away before you hear the seal whimpering. Elvis- despite you not knowing it's him is whimpering at you. Letting out these little noises that are confusing but make some part of your chest tighten and twist. It almost sounds like a child wanting comfort.

Elvis can't help the noises that leave him, the almost cries that leave him at being called a seal so sweetly by someone he's never met after Anita's anger at it. He knows being a selkie isn't natural, knows it's rare but he is one. He turns into a seal and has a skin he can give to the one he loves so intensely that he wants to bind them together for all of his life. You start to hush him as one would hush a baby and he finds himself moving closer, making it so you sit down properly on the sand instead of crouch. There's something comforting about you, something that settles his mind, soul and heart at your quiet shushing. Without even questioning his own actions he manages to settle his head in your lap and looks up at you almost pleading with you to comfort him more than you already had.

Looking down at him seals your fate, seals your doom at finally falling prey to your desire to pet him. You shouldn't and yet at the brush of your fingers against his head you see him practically turn to putty. His head lolling a little to the side almost as if to nuzzle at you, booping your stomach with his snout. His pelt feels soft and warm but you don't know if that's just his body heat you're feeling or not. A giggle leaves you at the press of his snout against and you're struck by how right this feels, that petting this seal's head feels so normal and like it's what you should be doing at any given time. To have enough money to have a seal like this would be a dream, you think. A dream you're pretty sure only Elvis Presley himself or one of those big Hollywood types could manage. Perhaps if you could just get enough money you could have something like this to cure your ills and make nights like the one you had the night before seem like distant memories. If you had just enough money you could have someone to spend your time with on the beach like this in the early hours of the morning before one of your jobs. The job you might be late for if you don't head home soon to get ready. It's that knowledge that has you pressing against the seal's face with a murmur, "I'm going to have to go, seal."

Elvis feels you touching his face, feels you trying to force him off your lap and lets out a whine. He had just gotten comfortable in your lap. He had just gotten comfortable in what felt like a true seal wife's lap and had felt himself trying to drift off to sleep amongst your murmurs and soft humming and shushing. Why were you trying to make him leave? Why did you have to go anywhere? He could make excuses for whoever you had to go meet. If it was your job he could take care of you if you'd just stay here with him in this moment. Maybe if he shifts back you'll stay here, you'll know he's Elvis Presley and there's no reason to leave him. He wants to- He wants to know you, to figure out who you are and know your name so he can whisper it into the sea so you'll come back.

You swear the seal's gotten heavier and doesn't want you to leave as you look down to see what almost looks like a human pout on his face. It would be a dream to stay here with the seal in your lap and not have to worry about anything else but you can't. In a fit of stupidity because you know you shouldn't touch a wild animal let alone kiss one, you grab both sides of the seal's face and place a kiss on top of its head, watching as their eyes seem to widen, startling enough to allow you to get out from under them and stand up. Once the shock seems to wear off they move toward you, pressing their snout at your stomach again, trying to push you to the sea as another warning to not leave.

"I've got a job. I've got to get going. I would stay with you if I could, silly seal," you try to reason with the seal only to get another boop to your stomach and a small whine. "I can't just stay here. Tell you what, I walk on this beach some days. Maybe tomorrow I'll see you again? Would you like that?"

You swear you hallucinate the seal actually nodding its head in affirmation but it makes you smile nonetheless. The seal finally allows you to leave despite hunching in on himself as if he's trying to do something though you can't tell what. You start to walk away and suddenly feel his snout against your hand with fabric.

Elvis thinks he should shift right there, she's proving she doesn't mind having a strange seal she just met bothering her and yet he stops himself, worrying she'll rebuff him just as Anita did. He loved June but it wasn't enough because he was lonely and she wasn't there. He loved Anita but she didn't love all of him and he can't love anyone but the sea and his mama and his family because they haven't ever betrayed him. They haven't left him, they aren't trying to leave him like she is right in this moment. Perhaps she's a good seal wife, perhaps she can hold someone's skin but not his. Maybe that- maybe Priscilla from Germany could. She always did find the myth so fascinating when he told her about it- even if he never told her he was one.

Something in his heart tells him to give this woman something though, to give her that handkerchief to tie them together. It'll be something to make her keep her promise of coming back and remind her of what the sea smells like. What he smells like. What home should smell like. Maybe if he was lucky, you'd figure it out on your own and come find him, prove that sea wasn't leading him down a path of a broken heart and aching soul that just wants to be cared for and loved for every part of him, not just the parts that are what they want.

Your hand moves to grab the handkerchief from his mouth and you smile at him, placing one last kiss to the top of his head and petting his pelt one more time with a bit of a shaky exhale. "Thank you. I'll make sure to keep this safe. And remember, we'll come find each other soon."

He's never there when you come to the beach and you're never there when he comes to the beach for the next month. Each time you miss each other by hours or by minutes until you have to leave California and he gives up. The Colonel can hold his skin till he finds a wife, a true seal wife who won't abandon him for anything. He'll keep it safe like mama did.

"You're her," you hear Elvis whisper against your thigh after suddenly shifting back while you were in the middle of petting him by the pool. You very nearly scream from the shock before you realize just what he said.

"What do mean I'm her?" The question comes out sounding more concerned than you intend it to and your voice shakes with some fear you don't understand. You had just been asking, murmuring to Elvis wondering what makes him so sure you're it, you're the one for him, the one who deserves to have his skin grasped in between your fingers. Why he thinks you're the one who will keep it safe until both of your dying breaths.

"Ya helped me even if ya didn't know it was Elvis Presley in that lap a yourn, darlin', my seal wife. It just took me a while t'see it. But I-I-I see it now." He stutters out the last bit, the faint nervousness at potentially losing you bringing it out. "On that beach. Ya met a seal, kept callin' 'im silly."

"That was you," you whisper, your free hand going to your face as your eyes widen. "That- you had the- because you were EP. And you-"

"It was Anita's. Broke up wit' her 'cause of it. The- me bein' a selkie. She couldn't handle it and-" You could goes unsaid as you cut him off.

"You wouldn't be calling me your seal wife if you hadn't just- I'd be just another woman to you, Elvis. Even though I still have that handkerchief." You hate how your voice sounds, childish and unsure of yourself but after everything, after how he had blown up at you when he discovered your skin and how getting back together, rediscovering each other and settling into something as you try to fully detangle Elvis from his manager has been wrought with one complication or another.

It's then that Elvis moves to sit up and places his hands on either side of your face, shaking his head. "No. That ain't the truth. The second I came back after takin' my skin back from ya room and saw ya- I knew even before I 'member this that ya were my seal wife. Ya were the perfect one. Ya looked like shit, darlin'. Looked as if I aged ya half a decade. Ya feel like home, ya always have felt like it. Back then and even now. That's what a seal wife is supposed t'be."

His thumb brushes along your cheek and you realize it's wet with tears you didn't realize were falling. "Don't cry. That ain't- that aint what I meant t'do," he moves to suck his thumb. "Ya taste like the sea no matter where I taste you. Ya smell like home. Ain't- Nothing ain't my home 'less it's got you wit' it."

Your eyes search his face for some indication that this is just a line, something he tells to women to charm them but you know your Elvis by now, or you like to think you can recognize his tells but there isn't one. There isn't a single hint of a lie in his words and your heart threatens to burst in that moment.

The thing is it should have been a line, just something he whispered and murmured in your ear but between the memory and how he's felt about you even before it's not. You're everything about the sea when he forgets it, your taste and your smell remind him of the tangy sharpness of the saltwater of the ocean. Your anger is the chaos of a choppy stormy sea, the waves threatening to take down anyone near them. Everything about you is made to be a seal wife, made to be his seal wife, the woman who'll protect him and his pups and everyone he dares to care about. You're meant to be by his side, swimming and being warmed by the sun on the beach.

"Elvis," you start only to bite at your lip. "You're too charming for your own good."

His lips curl into a smile before shrugging. "Only when it comes to you, I think. You get my honest charm, not my showman one. I meant what I said, darlin'. Ain't gonna say it again but- I meant it."

There's a million words on the tip of your tongue, a million retorts that you feel he'll enjoy because it'll lead to the two of you sparring in a way you did when you first met but you swallow them all in favor of moving your hand to pet Elvis's hair, silently asking him to try and shift again. "I know. It's why you'll always have me."

taglist: @ab4eva , @blurredcolourr, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @missmaywemeetagain, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @notstefaniepresley, @wanderingelvis, @kxnnxy, @powerofelvis, @stylespresleyhearted i am probably missing some people who might want to be tagged or people who don't and i apologize.

#elvis presley #elvis presley x reader #elvis presley fanfic #elvis presley fanfiction #elvis presley fluff #elvis presley x you #elvis presley x y/n #elvis presley angst #austin elvis x reader #austin butler elvis x reader #austin butler elvis #austin elvis #ally writes

[killerandhealerqueen]

for the soft asks - all of the even numbers that you haven't answered yet :D

Took, I love you, god damn

4. what flower would you like to be given?

Oh, sunflowers! I love sunflowers, they're my favorite

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

Alright, alright...hmm

Physical

I have nice hair

I have a nice voice

I have pretty eyes

Non-Physical

I'm compassionate

I'm smarter than I give myself credit for

I'm kind

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

@mishathewtf @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @kpopfantasywriter @seonghwacore @nineninepetals @zennialemo @missjudge-me @zzzhoonie @hyperbolicgrinch @fourth-quartet (obvs) @clawbehavior and there are so many others...I just love y'all

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

I'm excited to finish my current wip that I'm working on and post it after doing some edits to it. I'm really happy with how it's going so far (I can't write a short fic for Killer and Healer to save my fucking life)

12. how are you?

Tired. A little stressed. And nervous cuz I have a job interview coming up on Wednesday...

14. favorite feel-good show?

Now, Killer and Healer is my go to answer for every show, but it's not really a feel-good show, if you know what I mean. So I'm gonna go with White Cat Legend because there are some episodes, ep. 18 in particular, where I just screech with laughter because it's so god damn funny. But my other feel-good show is any show that talks about Ancient Egypt. I love Egyptology and wanted to be an Egyptologist when I was younger (mainly to study mummies, is anyone surprised that I ended up in forensics? No, you shouldn't be). But yeah, any nature documentary or documentary on Ancient Egypt is my go-to feel good show

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

You're an absolute delight and I love seeing you on my dash and getting asks from you and I thank God every day we became friends because of The Devil Judge

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

You fucking kidding me, of course I do. Love my stuffies

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

To get a fucking job and stop feeling like I'm behind all of my friends, even though I know I'm not. It's just that my timeline has not exactly worked out the way I wanted it to, so...yeah. Getting my job in my field would be the cherry on top

22. what would you say to your future self?

Keep being badass

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

Work on/read fanfiction or watch youtube videos

26. what movie would you want to live in?

Uh...Princess and the Frog. Good music, bombass food...sign me the fuck up

28. hugs or hand-holding?

Hugs. I've been told I give good hugs

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

Going into any asian grocery story. See, I lived in Hawaii and spent a lot of time in Chinatown because my great-grandmother used to go there a lot. And Lunar New Year and other stuff like that. So anytime I go into an asian grocery store and smell all the spices and what not, I feel like I'm home

soft asks to get to know people | send me asks

#sass answers #took 🐸 #soft asks to get to know people

[loaflovesdoodling]

ooh! can you tell us more about your metadad, perhaps (tumblr isn't letting me use interrogation marks wth)

If it's infodump you want, infodump you shall get! [small fic at the end too because writing is fun :)]

Ok, so, here's the thing:

In my AU Kirby isn't fully Meta Knight's biological child. That being for the simple reason that Nightmare tampered with Meta in the past, screwing his genetics; reason why Meta has wings even without being one of the heroes of Yore. Kirby, being made out of pure light matter is therefore Meta's chronological and -for the most part- biological child, but Nightmare's Influence on Meta basically cut off a lot of genetical/natural ligament with him.

That being said, Meta Knight loves him nontheless, he would literally give his own life away for him and he always tries to make him happy no matter how devastated he himself might be in that moment.

Here are some fun facts!

Meta Knight talks to Kirby about emotional stuff especially when he (the latter) is asleep.

After long and difficult fights with demon beasts, Meta Knight will refuse to go to sleep that day just to watch over Kirby the whole night, fearing that he'll be taken away.

Simply having him hold Kirby close can save Meta Knight from multiple panic attacks.

He spent months learning the perfect intonation and pronounciation of the best lullaby he could find just for Kirby.

He's apparently also very good at sewing (As seen in that one Pengi episode, where everyone sews their penguin disguise by themselves,) and he likes to take advantage of that skill to sew tiny beanies and plush friends for Kirby.

Now, onto the fic! (warning, extreme angst torwards the end)

The young knight had woken up in cold sweat. How could he had fallen asleep so easily?

Surely enough, his dreams hadn't been 'sweet' either: the familiar vision of blood on his hands was all he could remember. Meta Knight shook his head:

"Collect yourself, Meta, be cool. None of these dreams have meaning, you shouldn't take them so seriously." He scolded himself, sighing.

"Perhaps I should start today by putting a smile on; after all, I couldn't possibly give Kirby a bad example-..." He stopped immediately as he turned to the bed only to find no one there. Meta Knight frowned:

"And of course he's already out and about. I should've expected this, he is still a child after all." The knight said. He could not, however, hide the slightest glint of purple worry in his bright golden eyes:

"I'll start looking for him. you'll never know..." He anticipated, trying to justify that overwhelming feeling. Putting on his mask, cape and shoulder pads, he got off the bed and walked over to the counter to wish Sword and Blade a good morning; they, however, weren't present either: disappointed, the soldier walked out the room.

Patrolling Castle DeDeDe's corridors, Meta Knight noticed Dreamland's silence. The oh, so unusual, terrifying silence. He could feel the weight of each one of his quick steps on the cold tiled floor. Almost completely sinking in his own thoughts, he snapped back to reality upon recognizing the figure of Minister Parm's daughter; quickening his pace even more, he walked up to her:

"Fumu."

The young girl jumped: "Oh, it's just you, Sir Meta Knight."

"Have you, ah... perhaps, seen Kirby, this morning?"

"Not really, now that I think of it. Knowing Kirby he's probably out playing with Bun in the yard, though--"

"Thank you for your assistance." Meta interrupted her, before walking away, his subtle rudeness leaving the kid with her eyes widening in surprise.

In his search for the pink warrior, Meta Knight just so happened to come across the throne room. Convinced of the possibility of clues about Kirby's disappearance, he decided to eavesdrop on King DeDeDe's conversation:

"You have our gratitude, King D3."

"Aw yeah, ain't nothing like a deal as great as this one: I get rid of an annoyin' obstacle and y'all give me money fer it!" he cackled.

"I can assure you this decision will not be of any regret."

"It better not be!" he talked back.

"Very well then. I shall take my leave now." The familiar voice said before being cut off by a loud buzzing sound.

"Who knew defeating Kirby had always been as easy as just sending him over at Holy Nightmare? You sure are a genius, your majesty!" the snail added.

Meta Knight's eyes widened in shock, turning into a tint of blue-ish white as he started uncontrollably shaking. So many horrifying thoughts wouldn't leave his mind:

Kirby was gone.

He was in Nightmare's possession.

And God knows what he could've done to him already.

The knight's vision progressively blurring as he started to feel heavy, an increasingly louder heartbeat blocking out every other sound in the castle.

Immediately, Meta Knight awoke, jumping out of his bed. His heart rate completely unsteady, he started grasping for air: his breaths were dangerously short and fast, and he couldn't even feel his now shaking hands anymore. He gazed over to the other side of the bed: Kirby was there, he was safe, all that happened was just a horrible nightmare. He quickly picked up the sleeping child and wrapped him tightly in his arms: the warmth of his son's fragile little body transferring onto him as his breath started steadying. Calming down, the knight fell back asleep.

Sorry if it's a little long and incoherent, haha. This is my first fic <3

#meta knight #kirby #kirby right back at ya #metadad #kirby fanfiction #hcs #sir meta knight

[egg-emperor]

ya know while I do still love a lot of e for everyone series I liked as a kid and didn't stop just because I'm older and it's "embarrassing" or I'm "too old for it" or some bullshit, all my most active interests in the past few years has mostly been dark edgy shit except for the Sonic series which has always been my main interest and always will. this was my bro's observation of that when I was talking about other stuff I'm into that makes me sound insane lol

so I'm so used to seeing much darker and edgier and gorier stuff etc in games so when I share a dark evil Eggman concepts/fics/analysis that I feel are pretty damn tame in comparison to all that, I'm just genuinely surprised when some people will react to it like "wtf is wrong with you this is so disturbing you monster you shouldn't write this" and all that. and that's with the way that I take direct inspiration from canon itself and the evil that Eggman actually does there

I literally never realize that some people would think what I was writing was that extreme, compared to all the stuff I'm finding entertainment in with the other series I like. I just write what I see in the games with Eggman and what to share the thoughts and creations it inspires in me with y'all. and I always try to tag it and will always take suggestions for tagging too/appreciate when it's pointed out to me that I didn't tag correctly

but these bad faith assumptions and judgements of my character as someone who wants to upset people aren't true. I'm not edgy for attention or to upset people like a bully or troll, it's just genuinely how my mind works and my passion and I just wanna speak and create from the heart and put it out there lol. and I always find that really fun but people try to start drama instead of either resolving it privately and sensibly or just blocking and moving on without telling people I'm trying to upset people on purpose

so anyway the best game of all time would be a game starring Eggman where the whole purpose is to kill as many people as possible XD /j

#basically as an edgelord I'm desensitized to Egg's evil and what I write and genuinely don't realize how upsetting it can be to ppl #cause I look at more extreme stuff on the regular and it's just chill and not shocking or disturbing to me #I also have low empathy that I can't control so I just can't guess or imagine how others might hypothetically react to what I'm creating #so if something upsets you you gotta let me know before asusming I do and intended it or don't care or something #I was just making what I like #and seriously just ask me to tag something literally anything in any way you want ever and I'll do it immediately #and if I forget my warnings and tags and all that also please correct me it's not on purpose at all #my post #important

[keyofw]

CW: asexual talks about smut, featuring non-con tropes and other such things and whatnot

Time to wade face first into smut discourse because I hate myself. Maybe I'm too asexual to really "get it" but why does everyone in these stories act like psychopaths. I don't just mean that they do evil things, but that they react like uncaring robots to trauma.

Okay, so I open up a fic which features two characters, A is married to B, and it appears the point of the fic is to show them getting it on in increasingly fantastical ways. Great, with you so far.

Then out of nowhere we get a new character C, who is related to the original couple and also sixteen years old. (Big thanks to the author for surprising me with incest and underage since those weren't in the tags. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised the characters are all sociopaths.) Anyway, person C - who is, I stress, family and underage - just rapes person B. Not only does character A refuse to believe their partner, not only does NO ONE believe them, but person C is given continual access to person B to ramp up the rape for the rest of the story. This is not how normal people respond, especially if we are told by the text that they all love and respect one another.

I know that diagnosing a person's psychology or morality by their smut tastes is the task of a person with pudding for brains. It is not immoral to enjoy stories which feature non-con, incest, or underage kinks explicitly for your own titillation. Don't understand it myself, but whatever. Sure, I'm annoyed that I got surprised by something I actually didn't want to read. Whatever, someone's into that.

But y'all know that once that is in the story, that's the only thing that can be in the story, right? You can't have a literal child show up to repeatedly violate one of the protagonists, enabled by the rest of the cast (including their own spouse), and then go back to "oh stepbrother, help, I'm stuck in the washing machine!" This is a rape survivor story now.

I am not a big account on tumblr dot com but if somehow this gets read and passed around I am fully prepared to be told I just don't get it. Is this smut? Is this what the kids are into now? Am I just too asexual here?

#not everything on ao3 is smut #but i haven't read everything on ao3 yet #rant #tag your fics right #you dummies

[naivesilver]

Don't mind me, it's just that I'm still very salty that little Neal Nolan's potential as a character development tool was wasted for most of the show.

---------

August's sister sidles in the seat next to Emma right in the middle of Granny's slowest hour, her stool scraping loudly on the floortiles.

"So," Eliana says, apropos of nothing, grinning that sharp grin of hers, "how has life as an older sister been treating you, then?"

Emma makes a noncommittal noise at the back of her throat, stealing a glance to the boy dozing in the pram by her side, uncharacteristically Snow White-less for once. She's almost amazed that her mother would let him out of her sight at all, actually - neither her not David seem to have slept more than a hour without getting up to check on him, as of late. Even this small detour to Granny's restroom looks like a success, in comparison.

"Could be worse," she says, finally, after a pause that's entirely too long. "At least now that no one's trying to steal him."

And it's not- it's not a lie, necessarily. It has been...an adjustment, no longer being an only child, but not such a hard one as meeting her parents was. Henry is ecstatic, yes, but Henry has taken most additions to their family way, even the more unlikely ones, and the baby is a sweet one, if still nameless due to their parents still following some long gone Enchanted Forest tradition.

Emma just doesn't know what to make of him, is all. She has never been the most adept at caring for children so young, and it's hard to wrap her mind that this drooling, wailing bundle is her little brother of all things.

She'll manage, though. It's not that bad. She'll work things out, the way she always does.

Eliana, for her part, doesn't look very convinced, but she refrains from commenting on it, thankfully. She follows Emma's gaze downwards, instead, looking intently at the baby, and says in a mild tone of voice: "In any case, you should enjoy this stage while it lasts. They don't stay this tiny for long. Or this quiet, actually."

Emma snorts half-heartedly. "Are you speaking from experience?"

The other woman lets out a heavy sigh, shaking her head dramatically. "I wish. August was never so small. He was born a disturbance, that one."

Her expression changes, then, a gentler, warmer look filling her blue-ish eyes and spreading through her features. It startles Emma a little, in truth - she hardly ever appears this soft, Eliana, unless she's speaking with August himself.

"They're the worst kind, little brothers," she continues, somewhat wistfully. "Very good at stealing hearts, you know? Except they usually don't give them back, unlike your friend the mayor."

"Thanks, but that's a little too poetic for my taste, I think."

Eliana scoffs, her customary tartness making a brief comeback. "Don't tell me you're surprised. What, you thought August had gotten his way with words out of nowhere? I was there first, Emma Swan, and if he says otherwise, you've got my permission to give him a good swat on the head."

She lays her hand on Emma's arm, then, forcing the sheriff to look her in the eyes. She's got an impressively unsettling gaze, especially if compared to her father and brother's ones, welcoming and guileless at least for the most part - it gives Emma the feeling, unnerving and yet oddly reassuring, of being scrutinized down to the tiniest detail, turned left and right like a postcard stand.

"I know it's a big change- Gods, I don't think anyone knows it better than me in this damned town. But I can assure you it won't always be like this. It'll get better. You just need to be a little patient, and tune out the people who think they're being helpful, if they become too much."

It's probably the most sensible thing anyone has told her in the last couple days - hell, it's probably the only thing she's heard that wasn't, at heart, just a reprimand coated in a thin veneer of well wishes. Most people tend to assume she's happy with the little bundle of joy that's taken over her parents' attention, and those smart enough to realize it goes deeper than that don't have exactly the best reaction to it, all in all. She's grateful that Eliana's not being that judgemental, at least.

So Emma simply nods, giving her a crooked little grin, and says: "Thanks. I'll…I'll try to keep that in mind. Still a bit too poetic, though."

Eliana huffs in laughter, the sound good-natured despite the flash of concern still present in her eyes, and waves her hand dismissively in the air, as if swatting away a particularly bothersome fly.

"And you've been spending a bit too much time with my brother. You know what, forget what I said - I'll give him that thrashing myself, as soon as I can get my hands on him. Someone needs knock some sense into his thick head."

"You sure it's not too late for that?"

"We won't know until we try, Emma Swan. We won't know until we try."

#oc: eliana #au: appalachian wine #ouat #emma swan #fanfic #y'all know I like kid!fics you shouldn't be surprised #let emma bond with her baby brother! let her have complex feelings about it! #hold snow accountable for the way she deals with her children for longer than two episodes!!!!!!!! #also maybe make more fun of august. ngl I think he deserves it.

[bonnymori]

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲

Word count: 2760+ (i'll try to keep bigger lengths such as this one!)

Synopsis: You meet a new classmate who's working along Nanami, you think he's fun to be around, it stands the same to him about you. Later, feelings unravel.

Contents/Warnings: (1) Itadori Yuuji x gn!reader (2) FLUFF, TONS OF FLUFF - and some comfort (3) With the small participation of... Ino Takuma!! I really like him too, that's why <33333 (4) This is pretty platonic, but also not? (5) Ending turned sorta cliché... but I liked it u.u

A/N: This boy made me run rampant... to fhe point it's not single attraction anymore I just wish him happiness (smh if only my parents knew...) also next post will be Toji's fic pt. 2! Y'all see the first part is almost reaching 100 kudos????? I'M SO HAPPY EHSODJWKDKSJD- thanks for all the new followers and the support!! <33

Ever since his fake death, Itadori has been training alone with the help of Gojo - and now, he works along a freshly new face, who belongs to a senior, founds out ex-salaryman named Nanami Kento. He's far a thousand times more strict than Gojo. Itadori doesn't really likes the change, because Nanami is a person he can't get along. This whole guy's appearance scream "work 4 life"; he has proved different, now he screams "work is shit - but I gotta do it because others won't".

They've just finished cleansing the outside of a movie theater off a few curses, when Itadori hears shouting from far behind them. Two figures approach, waving excessively. He quickly picks on Nanami's tired sigh beside him.

"Nanami! We figured out you'd be here! Our mission has been finished and we wanted to catch up to have lunch together!" A male clad in a full black outfit shouts, he has brown hair and a beanie on top of his head, looking quite content.

The other person simply trots next to him in silence, approaching with a friendly smile. They notice Itadori faster than the male, smile widening and quickly waving hello, suddenly eager to reach up to them. The gesture makes the pink haired boy perk up, curious to why the other person looked so joyful. His question is easily answered, when they tug on the man's sleeve and motion to him.

"Ino, we have a third buddy!" The dude looks at him with widened eyes. "So nice to meet you, I'm Y/N L/N! It's great to see new faces around!"

Itadori smiles at your energy, knowing already he would click with you very well.

"I'm Ino Takuma, sorry for not noticing you before! Your uniform looks cool." Itadori exchanges a few compliments with Ino, before the man turns to talk with Nanami, leaving him and you together.

"Yes! I'm Sukuna's vessel, Itadori Yuuji-desu! My type of woman is Jenn-"

You turn to him. "So, are you a first year?"

"Geh? Weren't you dead though?!"

"I was!- I am!- Please keep secret."

"Okay!"

"Ahem." Nanami coughs, drawing attention. "I requested you two to not come after me today. Itadori here is the reason why."

"That's no problem, we're very capable of keeping secrets." You threw your arm over Itadori's shoulder, him nodding along with you.

"Oh really, then remember to keep quiet about it. I'll let this slide." The group of students nervously at Nanami's intimidating tone. "But, I'll get to have my break alone."

"Gah!" Ino exclaimed, watching Nanami walk away; he also left the responsability of taking care of Itadori for you two, leaving without a word. "It really had to be today, when Nanami would take us to his favorite bakery..."

"Crybaby." You teased. "Itadori here can't go outside where anyone can see him, he's dead. So, we were to order food either way because he shouldn't be left out."

"Augh okay, it would be unfair."

"So, where are you staying Itadori?"

"At Gojo's state!"

"Whoa, I've never been there before." Ino commented, waiting as you sent a message to Ijichi to pick them up.

"He's my teacher, a very cool one!"

"I imagine! Ooookay, once we get there I'll get the food."

Itadori felt as his chest would burst of excitement, finally there was people around him again, he couldn't be less happy about it.

"Sharing is caring!"

Itadori laughed as you wrestled with Takuma for some fries, netflix long forgotten in the background, as watching the banter was way more entertaining. Most of the time, Ino rambled a lot about Nanami, while he rambled a lot about Gojo. The guy even showed him the cool scar under his beanie. He felt kinda upset after explaining the exchange was just temporary, his stay under Nanami's wing wasn't decisive, and therefore, he was more like a classmate than a partner.

Itadori also learned a lot about you. He was surprised to find out that you, although energetic, was the one to speak the lesser in conversations. His surprisement grew even bigger when you told him you're a exchange student from Kyoto, arriving Tokyo about the same month as him - thankfully, you were to say for good.

Conversations flowed easily in the air, until a voice from the doorway barged in.

"Yuuji-kun! Don't forget about your lessons! Hi kids! Bye kids!" Gojo said playfully, throwing the familiar punching bear to Itadori before leaving.

"What's this thing?" Ino asked.

"It's to help me control my cursed energy. So while I watch the movies, if I don't charge it with cursed energy it punches me square in the face. I thought I had mastered this thing already, but he insist I keep training with it." Itadori grumbles.

"At least it's cute." You commented, taking a sip of your drink.

"Until it punches you in your face without warning!" The pink haired boy barks.

The talks died down, the three of you eating quietly when another movie is played on the screen. Itadori didn't bother reading the title, it was a plain one about a zombie apocalypse that got him extremely bored, yet he kept watching still so the plushie didn't punch him in the face again; he's been keeping a record since all his last cursed energy training lessons were a sucess to this day. When his head started nodding and eyelids dropping Itadori can't remember well, about fourty five minutes of movie perhaps? Make it fifty, the second slumber took over his body completely.

When he awoke once again, it was near midnight, the clock on the wall told him so. He also noticed a soft and warm surface supporting his head, figures, it's your shoulder he's resting into, he feels an arm around his own shoulders and your cheek placed upon his hair.

"Hey, it's late." You immediately notices he's awake, calling out softly. "You should sleep on your room, or something, better to your spine."

He chuckles when you poke his side. "But I'm comfortable here."

"I'm surprised, you just met me today, and now is sleeping on my shoulder."

"I'm not, that happens often to me."

"Sleeping on people's shoulders?"

"No! Making friends quickly." Itadori likes your gentle warmth, your hug, everything makes him feel at home. "I met two more people before you for two weeks, but they can't see me, because I'm dead."

"So I'll keep you company, that's my new mission."

His eyes widen at that, a oh so little blush covering the tip of his ears.

"For how many time I slept anyway?" He asks.

"About two- no, three hours. You missed two movies, and this one is about to end."

"And you stayed here the whole time?" He motions to your shoulder.

"Yep. That reminds me I gotta pee."

Itadori grumbles, but quickly lifts himself off you, respecting your needs. That gives him some time to look around, he notices Ino is gone, and the plushie sits quietly at the other side of the couch, unmoving.

"Y/N! How did you manage to make it quiet down?" He's beyond bafflet.

"...que."

"What!"

"I said!" You arrive quickly at the doorframe, hands still wet from when you washed them. "I used my innate technique."

"Oh! How is it like?"

"It's kinda funny, gimme a moment." You left to wipe off your hands, coming back in a second. "So, just like Shoko, I produce reverse curse energy, but it's quite different than hers, I can't heal people. That's why we often call it positive energy instead. I can use it to soothe off negative energy, so the bear has no cursed energy right now."

"How does it works on people?" He felt very curious about everything, asking away like a kid.

"Since everyone has negative energy, it just makes you sleepy really. But when it comes to curses it's really practical, I can either weaken it or, if the curse is like grade three or four, I can slap them off existence completely by wiping all their energy." You were naturally proud of having a such versatile power, your own energy swirling with pride around you.

"That sounds amazing! Is it why I fell asleep though?"

"Nah, only if I did it on purpose. I guess you were just tired, hope you don't mind I decided to let you rest today."

"No way, it was a good nap."

You nodded. "By the way, Ino left to attend to a drinking party, he paid for our food."

"Drinking? Is he old?"

"Yeah, he's twenty." You chuckled, already expecting that kind of reaction.

"No way! He looks young just like us!"

"That's totally my reaction after I learned he's twenty!"

After that day, you started visiting Itadori weekly to daily, after exchanging numbers he made a little group with you and Ino, naming it the "Nanami trio". But really, he exchanges more texts with you in private, be them memes, cool images he wish to share, etcetera. Although, Ino wasn't left excluded, he ofter brough his xbox to connect to Itadori's tv room and you all would spend hours playing together; he just didn't spend much time with both of you as much. And that was okay.

For a few days, your connection with Itadori died down when he didn't reply to your texts. They would remain unread for some time, the longest being half a day, until he would spam apologies then move on with the topic. That became a routine until one day when you came over to check on Itadori unnanounced, needin to ease off your worries about the boy, only to find him sobbing in the middle of a hallway, staring ahead and beyond, his back to you.

"Ita-?"

"Egh!" Startled, he scrambled to wipe his eyes, turning to you. "H-hey, um, hi."

"What happened?"

"I- he-" His eyes didn't met yours, knuckles white in a death grip. You notice he has a few bandages thrown over his face and arms. The way his shoulders are drawn, as if he wants to shrink into himself is something you've experienced before.

"Something hard to talk about?"

He nods almost immediately, head still facing down.

"It's alright, come with me." You reach for his hands, grimacing slightly when his forceful grip is now on your hand, yet you don't comment on it. He follows you through the state wordlessly.

You two stop on the same tv room, sitting down on the couch. You then guide his head to your shoulder, gently massaging his scalp with the free hand.

"It's alright."

Those two words are chanted like a prayer for the next half hour, at some point, Itadori twisted his body towards yours and unknowingly caged you between him and the sofa arm. He embraced you with a force you didn't have in you, like he didn't want to lose one another. Painful or not, not a muscle moved on your body. He needed a shoulder to cry on.

Thirty minutes passed like seconds, you peered down only to find the boy confortably napping against your bosom; at some point you just became the cold side of the pillow to him. That's alright. It brings you joy to be the mom friend anyways. So you decided to join the sleepland aswell, arms still secured around his shoulders and the back of his head.

It feels like the nap hasn't been long, though, because you can feel Itadori's grip loosening and therefore, you're awake.

"Sorry if I broke any bones, in advance."

"Wow, and you only warn me now."

He laughs at your comeback, hands still secured around your waist.

"I'm surprised you let me uh, cuddle you for comfort - and sleep. I don't understand it? You just make me sleepy." He rambled, keeping eye contact with you while his head still rests on your chest.

"That's a piece of cake when you have younger siblings who seek for you every night they get a nightmare."

"Does that mean I can come to you again if I have a nightmare?" There it is, his togepi-kirby cutesy face.

"Are you four?"

"That's mean!" Itadori blushed, squeezing you on his arms. "I like the contact. It puts me at ease."

"Mm, do you want to talk about it?"

He gulped. "No, not really."

Your peach haired friend remained silent, and so did you. It seems he doesn't intend in letting you go soon, or he just really forgot to mention it. It gives them time to think, your younger sisted used to do that sometimes, back in Kyoto.

"Y/N, wanna watch anything?"

"Sure, have you watched Parasyte before?"

"No, let's give it a try then!" Itadori glances at the remote, then back at you - making you confused over his hesitation to move. He notices you noticed it, chuckling nervously. "To be honest, I don't wanna let go."

"It's hurting my back."

"SORRY I'M SORRY!" He jumped away from you like a cat would jolt away from a cucumber, making you snicker.

"It's okay, I just wanted to change positions."

And to tease you, but he didn't need to know that part.

He glared at you with a small pout, typing the initials of Parasyte on the search bar. Outside his line of vision, you were grinning like a idiot, his sweeteness took a tow on you. All the people of Tokyo you met really held a way different spirit from your classmates in Kyoto, Itadori being the nicest of all. It's surprising him being Sukuna's vessel to begin with; being honest, you felt drawn by it.

"Y/N, it's startiiiiing." He cut your daydreaming short, slumping on your side and propping his head on your shoulder.

"This again?" You throw an arm around his shoulders, very much like the first time he cuddled himself on you.

"Don't blame me, you're the one who wanted to change positions. Guess I'll just make some alterations since I'm awake this time!" One of his arms went behind your back and circled your waist, hand resting at your hip.

"It's definely different, since the other time you drooled on me."

"Hhgh, okay okay! Let me enjoy this." For perhaps the actual first time, you're able to watch without exchanging words with one another.

And this time, it's you who's head loll to the side, nose buried on his soft rose perfumed hair. Itadori doesn't comment on it yet, his free hand moves under your legs to lift your whole body up efortlessly when he senses you have fallen asleep.

"I remember you said it's bad for my spine, I wouldn't mind it... yours however."

The boy makes a beeline to the guest room, he sighs when there is no choice but open the door with his foot. Inside, he places you carefully in the soft bed.

Before he could leave, a hand reaches up for his sleeve.

"Itadori," He turned, looking at you. "Make me company?"

He giggles softly - you think it sounds like a highschool girl. "You should start calling me by my first name!" Itadori rambles as he climbs on the bed, arms wrapping around your waist in a motion you're familiar with.

"Yuuji, I'm tired, let me sleep."

"But I wanna talk more..." He pouts. "Also, are we, um, dating?"

You wriggle around, bringing his head down to peck on his forehead, teasing. "Correction, I want to date you."

"Uh, oh." A blush coats his face so quickly, you'd say someone dumped a bucket of red paint on his face.

"Is that a no?"

"No!"

"So it is a no."

"Christ, will you stop teasing for a second, I'm trying to talk here." He makes an angry version of his togepi-kirby face, you can't help but grin.

"You amuse me, but okay. I'll do it for you."

"Thanks." He blinks, the blush slowly fading away. "You know, I lied, not about the contact, I like the contact nonetheless-"

His hand moves to play with yours, such as tapping his tips against yours, or meassuring the palms.

"-it's you who brings me comfort."

It's also your turn to blush, that line was seriously charming.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, we're dating now." You respond, a little eagerly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

This is the best person I could ask for, Itadori thinks, keeping his eyes open as yours shut during the kiss, whom I won't change for anything else in this world.

When you both separate, Itadori feels drowsy and sleepy. His face fits perfectly on your shoulder as always.

"Goodnight, my favorite person."

#itadori yuuji x reader #itadori x reader #itadori yuuji fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk fluff #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic

[its-tea-time-darling]

Thomally Secret Santa Fics 🎄🧡

an overview over the four thomally fic this year's maze runner secret santa @mazerunnersecretsanta yielded, for y'all thomally fan's indulgenge. none of the fics contain archive warnings., and i‘ll probably edit the post with the according authors when they‘re revealed.

to hell with you

gift for des, @demented-russian-empress-of-hell

by clod @un-ah / @manako-no-yami

Summary:

Gally likes his life. Sure, he and his friends have to deal with cranks and possessions every now and then. Sure, they have to quietly protect the unknowing populace from ghosts and demons. But it’s a good life. He likes his job, he likes his friends, and he’s engaged. He never thought he’d be able to have this sort of happiness—never thought a wretched orphan like him could get this lucky.

But strange things are happening. And with all the trouble comes a new face—Thomas, who seems to know more than he lets on. Gally doesn’t trust him, and he doesn’t like him. But he might have to learn how to, if they’re to find out who, or what, is behind all the mysterious deaths happening in town.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word count: 19'349

Verse: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic

Tags: Demons, Possession, Pre-Slashkind of? like its implied they will get together later but also there’s a middle man in there, like there’s some slash but then it ends with pre-slash idk, Fade to Black, don’t make deals with demons kids, coffin maker!gally, mentions of Minewt, references to child experimentation, like that’s a surprise lol, does it count as a mystery if there’s only one suspects

Lead the way

gift for clod, @un-ah / @manako-no-yami

by me 🙊

Summary:

When Gally woke up, things hadn’t changed. The love of his life was going to marry someone else.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

Rating: Explicit

word count: 5'187

Verse: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Dubious Consent, Depression, Angst, Pining, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Self-Destructive Behavior, Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending

these truths unbound and ripe for burning

gift for me 🥺🧡

by crest, @crestfallercanyon

Summary:

A warm fire, a clear sky, close friends, alcohol to loosen their tongues, and a game to get them talking. It shouldn't frighten Thomas, but it does. There's a whole host of truths Thomas has kept secreted away, threatening to spill over and douse the fire that separates him and Gally. Truths not even Thomas has had the strength to acknowledge just yet.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word count: 10'622

Verse: Canonverse - Safe Haven

Tags: Truth or Dare, Bonfire Nights, Flashbacks, Emotional Hurt/ComfortHealingFriends to Lovers, There Was Only One Bed, Mutual Pining, Alcohol, First Kiss, Memories

we were together, I forget the rest

gift for crest, @crestfallercanyon

by dee, @graeae

Summary:

Thomas finds himself sitting at the end of the world with Gally of all people.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word count: 13355

Verse: Canonverse - Safe Haven

Tags: Panic Attacks, fluff that thinks it's angst, Obligatory Campfire Drunkenness

#maze runner #the maze runner #tmr #tmr fanfiction #tmr gally #gally maze runner #gally tmr #tmr thomas #thomas maze runner #thomas tmr #thomally #thomally fanfiction #maze runner secret santa #tmrss #tmrss21

[motleyfuckingcruee]

Rocket Queen

1.4: Christmas Eve PT 2

Duff's P.O.V

I look at the beautiful girl that's sitting on my lap. She has a bottle of vodka in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. I honestly, had no idea she smoked. Good to know I don't need to hide my cancer sticks around her.

She smiles at something Madeline says, then replies back to her. I can't even tell that any words are coming out of their mouths. I'm so focused on Henley. She's the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on.

And to think, I wouldn't have met her if I hadn't made Stevie sit at that table. I'd seen Henley around before, but I was too chicken to go say hi. Just the thought made my chest feel like it was going to collapse.

I knew that the only way I'd have the guts to talk to her was if I'd stole their table. I know it's a real stupid reasoning, but it was the only thing I could come up with. Steven offered to go talk to her for me multiple times but a.) we're not in high school and b.) he'd probably just say something really embarrassing and scare her off.

I honestly thought he scared her off when he went to talk to them. I'll admit, I felt like fainting when she finally looked at me. I couldn't believe that a gorgeous girl like her was going to talk to me. At first, she seemed distant and cold. That immediately changed after the fight between me and that "Hyde" guy.

I don't like that guy. Henley said that he's been hanging around her and Madeline a lot recently. I don't like it one bit. She said that the only reason Madeline is okay with it is because he gives them free weed.

I wish I could be around her to protect her at all hours of the day. But, the fact that she's still in high school puts a huge dent in that plan. God, I sound like a wuss, but I can't help it.

I think I'm falling in love with her. I can't ever imagine being with someone else.

Well there's only one thing wrong with that statement. We aren't a couple. I haven't had the balls to ask her out.

That's going to change tonight, I can guarantee that.

The box feels as if it's growing heavy in my pocket. Almost like it's made of lead. I feel my heart race with anticipation. I want to give it to her so badly!

"DUFF!" Steven screams at me, almost making me push Henley off my lap in shock.

She instantly wraps her arms around my neck tightly, pulling her body flush against mine. I wrap my arms around her waist and chuckle nervously.

"Sorry," I mutter, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. I turn my head to Steven who has a smartass smile on his face. "What?"

"I was just saying, I think it's time to give out the gifts," Steven replies, his eyes glancing down to my pocket.

I knew I shouldn't have told him my plan. He's going to give it away!

"Wait," Henley says, her eyes widening. "I didn't know we were doing gifts! I left y'all's at home!"

"It's okay, sweetheart," I say in her ear, only loud enough for her to hear.

"No it's not," She pouts, turning her head to look at me. "I was just going to bring it over tomorrow."

"You can still bring it over tomorrow," I chuckle, placing a small kiss on her neck. "I don't think we have anything planned for tomorrow." I take a moment to think through my words. "Well, I'm not going anywhere. I think Steven was going to meet Madeline's parents."

"What?" Henley asks, clearly shocked. "I didn't know they were that serious."

I shrug, looking over at the couple that's in the same position Henley and I are in. "I didn't either, but the more I look at them, the more I can see that they're wild about each other."

"I have a feeling her parents and Jake aren't going to like that he's eighteen," Henley says, furrowing her eyebrows in that cute way she does when she's thinking.

"I'm sure they'll love him. It's hard not to love Stevie," I say. "He's one easy guy to get along with."

Henley smiles. "You guys are definitely best friends."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You just. . .I don't know. It just reminds me of my best friends back in LA."

I gasp, feigning shock. "You had friends?" Henley looks at me, unamused. She punches my shoulder rather hard, making me laugh. "I'm sorry!" I laugh. She doesn't say anything. She just sits there with an adorable pout on her face. "Tell me about your best friends."

She looks back at me with surprise. I guess no one's ever asked her that. "Well, they were actually brother and sister."

"Like Madeline and Jake?" I ask.

She nods. "Only they weren't twins. He was two years older than us. Anyways, they're the first friends I made in LA. I was constantly over at their house. I practically lived there. I was heartbroken when he turned eighteen and moved out. I didn't get to see him as much. . ," She trails off. "And I kinda had a crush on him." My heart drops. Does she still like him? "But I still hung out with his sister all the time. I thought it was the end of the world when I left Los Angeles. She calls me at least five times every few days and he calls every week on Saturday."

"Sounds like you really love them," I say, sounding a bit put out.

She nods. "I do, but I really love Madeline too." She pauses, looking at Steven trying to play the drums. We haven't even opened the alcohol yet. He's just like that sober. "And I guess Steven too."

I smile, nudging her a little. That's difficult because she's sitting in my lap. "What about me?"

She smirks. "Oh, I don't love you."

My mouth drops open. I pretend to be really hurt and fall back onto the couch. "You've hurt me deeply, Henley!"

She laughs, cupping my face in her hands. "I'm kidding." She leans in and quickly pecks my lips. Butterflies erupt in my stomach. Now's the time.

I stand up with her in my arms. She squeals in surprise, but doesn't protest. She just wraps her arms around my neck to keep her from falling.

I take Henley to my room. I place her down on the mattress on the floor. I watch her eyes look around my room, until they land on me. She smiles sheepishly, running her hand over the fabric of the blanket I have thrown on my bed.

"So, what are we doing in here?" She asks.

I pull out the box without saying a word. I hand it to her with a smile on my face. "Merry Christmas."

She opens it, an excited look in her eyes. Her smile widens as she sees what's inside. There's two necklaces. One's a padlock necklace, the other has a key on it.

"Duff," She says. Her voice makes it sound like she's about to cry. She stands up and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her as close to me as possible. "Thank you," She breathes into my ear.

Henley pulls away, taking the padlock necklace out of the box. She unclasps it and puts it around my neck. When she fastens it, she puts her own necklace around her neck.

I grin at her. "There's one more thing, only it's a question."

"Which is?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I feel like my heart is about to burst out of my chest.

"Yes!" She squeals, jumping into my arms.

I laugh, pulling away from our odd hug. I pull her face in and kiss her as deeply as I know how.

God, I'm definitely in love with her.

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[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.13: “Lebanon”

THEN: They hit me right in the face with gorgeous young 1.01 Dean saying "Dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and beautiful baby 1.01 Sam saying "we've got work to do" and we end with 14.12 and Sam furiously punching his brother and then furiously hugging him and Dean saying "let's go home" and does anything else matter? No.

NOW: We see the reflection of Sam and Dean walking up to a pawn shop, with a nice selection of guitars and sunglasses and that weird monkey that was in Rocky's Bar. The proprietor seems friendly enough. Dean flashes him a wad of hundred dollar bills because they're looking for "the really good stuff." This gains them admittance into a secret back room full of things hunters would be interested in, including a hockey mask (?) and a perfume atomizer full of dragon's breath. They tell the guy they're looking for the skull of a specific woman who was executed during the Salem witch trials, and the fact that he has it basically proves that he killed the friend of theirs who previously owned it. (Also Sam picks up a teddy bear and starts to pull the string to make it speak and the guys warns him not to and this is Dean's role, isn't it, messing with things he shouldn't be messing with? But I don't care because chastized Sam and eye-rolly Dean are precious to me.)

Sam goes through a ledger of the guy's inventory and says he's got a lot of occult objects that they should take with them. (Dean plays with the dragon's breath. Sam ducks and flinches and does the really, Dean? thing with his hands and face. I laugh again.) Dean agrees they should take the stuff home.

Title card!

The Impala zooms past a sign welcoming us to Lebanon, Geographical Center of the USA. Then we find ourselves in front of a movie theater showing Beetlejuice and Hell Hazers (All Saints' Day is coming soon, and I imagine Route 666 can't be far behind), where a group of teenagers is talking about... somebody. "People say they're brothers," a kid in a knit cap says, "but all I know is, I was standing right here, and I heard this bam from the trunk of their car. And then, this like, shallow breathing." I'm pretty sure this is a fake-out, and it will turn out he's talking about someone else, but the Impala pulls up in front of the theater and Knit Cap Kid says "that's them!"

As the Winchesters get out of the car and enter a liquor store (decorated with that Family Business neon sign from Rocky's), Sam is still reading the ledger, which lists things like a hangman's rope, fairy dust, and John Wayne Gacy's cigar box. Well, that's oddly specific! The guy working there greets the "Campbell brothers" and knows their usual order. Oh, wow. I love that they're actually known in Lebanon, and that they're going by Campbell. And we know that actual Lebanon, Kansas is too small to have a movie theater or this much business downtown, but I'm happy to handwave that.

What do you mean, "happy to handwave that?" You're always complaining about the inaccuracies regarding tiny Lebanon having traffic cams and whatnot.

Well, maybe this episode just MAKES ME HAPPY, okay?

Anyway. Sam thinks cataloguing the confiscated items would be a good way to take Dean's mind off "things," but Dean's pretty convinced nothing will ever take his mind off that.

Outside, the teens are asking where the guys even come from, and what about their weird trenchcoat-wearing sidekick, and "that kid with the dumb Bambi look on his face all the time" (!) One girl says that, whatever the deal is with these guys, they do have an awesome car, and no one can argue with that. And the other girl, Max, who seems to smitten with the first girl, gets an idea.

Inside, Sam has discovered something significant in the ledger - the "beyzoo" (no, I know that's not how you spell it), which is one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. A pearl that gives you "what your heart desires." Oooh, getting rid of Michael, maybe? But as the guys are discussing this, Dean sees the Impala drive by the window. Guess Max figured out how to impress that other girl! (BTW, there are couple of COOL old trucks on the street.)

The guys see Knit Cap Kid standing on the sidewalk looking confused, and while Sam tells him the car is dangerous to whoever stole it, Dean looks like he wants to murder someone. And yet the Winchesters are confused when the kid says he doesn't want to die. (Or get locked in the trunk!) He says Max is new and he doesn't know where she lives. Dean raises a fist, but Sam pulls him away.

MURDER. I'D MURDER THEM.

Post office. There's a poster of stamps featuring old cars behind the customer service counter. I'm really getting my old truck fix tonight. Sam comes in with his sweet anxious smile and asks for help finding the girl who washed his car, since he forgot to tip her. Post Office Lady is not amused or helpful, or the least bit swayed by his sweet anxious smile. Then Dean comes in and calls her by name and asks about her grandson and she MELTS and he gets sincere and puts his hand on hers and she does exactly what I would do, which is offer up ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANYTHING AT ALL, WOULD YOU LIKE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER WHILE I'M AT IT? Unfortunately, all she knows is where Max's mother works.

SAM’S FACE.

(Sidebar: Have I mentioned that Sam is wearing that nice blue jacket from the episode where he killed the alpha vampire? I like it. Toss that stupid orange jacket, Sam, and wear this more often. And Dean's wearing the black jacket that I always love.)

At the restaurant where Max's mom works, we learn that she has no idea where her daughter is, because she was supposed to be in school. But the guy working in the kitchen knows February 7 is Skip Day (is it always February 7? what about when that falls on a weekend?) and that she'll probably be at a party at this old house on Route 36. (Yes, I did confirm that Route 36 is just outside of Lebanon. Yes, I did use Mapquest. I'm old school up in here, y'all.)

Party house. The little batch of delinquents has taken all the boxes of occult objects out of the Impala for some reason. Including the evil teddy bear. Luckily, someone announces "pizza's here" before a girl pulls the teddy bear's string. At some point I've got to find out what would happen if you pulled it. Fic it for me, friends! (Also, I just noticed the teddy bear's mouth is SEWN SHUT and that's not creepy AT ALL.) The camera slowly pans to a wooden box, and we watch the lid open to reveal a smoky/dusty ghost hand. With a ruffled sleeve. Uh oh.

Knit Cap Kid runs in to warn the partiers that "those guys" are looking for Max, and he's told to chill. Another teen goes into the bathroom, where the mirror frosts over and then the CREEPIEST CLOWN EVER comes out of it. Seriously, creepier than the clown in Plush, which you wouldn't think was possible.

The Winchesters pull up in yet another antique truck, where Dean greets his car with "Baby, Baby, please tell me you're not hurt." Sam's more concerned about the boxes of dangerous occult objects missing from the back seat. Ghost Kid comes running outside and the girl following him tells the brothers that he saw a clown ghost that tried to kill him. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe Sam has a flash of crap, a killer clown ghost expression before they run into the house.

Dean announces they're FBI and everyone needs to get out, now. Once the room is cleared, he asks if "anything screams clown to you?" Sam immediately notices John Wayne Gacy's cigar box and guys, I'm ashamed to say I didn't put the two together until now. The killer clown ghost is John Wayne Gacy. And Sam is freaked the fuck out about it. "We should burn that right now," Dean says, in a lovely holding-in-the-freakout way, and Sam rushes to throw it into the fireplace. Then Dean says "I mean, this is like a best worst thing that's ever happened, because you love serial killers, but you hate clowns" and I'm DEAD. (I'm also loving TWO gifts from the Continuity Fairy in once sentence.) The lights start flashing before Sam can get his lighter lit, and then the killer clown ghost shows up and tosses Dean around. Knit Cap Kid and the girls run back inside just in time to watch John Wayne Gacy's ghost go up in flames. So the kids get the "monsters are real" speech and are told to keep it secret.

Back at the bunker, Sam's going through the occult goodies and thinks he found the magic pearl. Dean's ready to use it right now, and dismisses Sam's suggestion that they call Mary or Cas. If it doesn't work, he doesn't want to have gotten their hopes up. Sam looks distressed at the idea it won't work, but agrees. The pearl doesn't come with any instructions, so Sam suggests Dean hold it and concentrate on what his heart desires. "Michael out of my head," Dean says, and I'd have been more specific. I'd have concentrated on Michael out of my head and destroyed, and me perfectly fine, but, well, what do I know?

(Also, I KNOW all you Wincest and Destiel fans are gonna have your own ideas about what - or who - appears in front of Dean when he’s granted what his heart desires. This setup is better than sex pollen. Have fun, my kinky little friends.)

Dean clutches the pearl and concentrates, and the lights flash and then go out, and in the red emergency light we see someone in the bunker. Someone fighty, who knocks both brothers down and then pulls out a shotgun and says "don't you move," but it's a familiar voice and then the lights come on and what do you know? Winchester Surprise!

So, was anybody truly surprised? I covered the guest stars on first viewing, as I always try to do, but I noticed on rewatch that they didn't even credit JDM at the beginning of the episode. Which they sometimes do, to avoid spoilers. And yet. Has there been a single episode of this series that was more spoiled? I don't think so.

(Sidebar: What do you think would have happened if Sam had taken the pearl and made a wish? I think Michael would be gone. Because I don't think there's anything Sam wants more than saving his brother.)

Back to our story. Everyone is shocked. John thinks Sam should be in Palo Alto, apparently in his 14th year of post graduate work. He thinks he's still in 2003, and he doesn't notice his boys are older. And they apparently don't notice that his hair is very short and a lot greyer than it was when we last saw him. (I mean, really, they slapped a wig on Samantha Smith to make her look like The Last Version Of Mary, so why couldn't they do the same thing with JDM? It's distracting.) Sam figures they must have accidentally summoned John from the past. So they do what one does in this situation - sit down and drink.

John's astonished. Dean's proud. Sam's visibly anxious. We don't get to see exactly how much of the backstory they tell him, but they do tell him about the apocalypse and Lucifer and living with "an angel and Lucifer's kid." And now John thinks he died "taking out Yellow Eyes," which... not really? But okay. And they don't tell him Mary's back, until he mentions her and Sam's, all, yeah, about Mom, and then she comes in and John hears her voice and tears up and dammit. This reunion is everything I didn't think I ever wanted. I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I'm not a fan of John Winchester. He's a fascinating character and JDM does a great job with him, but he's such an awful father (don't bother arguing with me, you will not change my mind) that I can't really like him. And I'm not too impressed with resurrected Mary, either. But when these two come together... damn. It's good. It's very good. Well done, you two.

I love that the boys give them some privacy, because it's been over a decade since John saw them, but it's been even longer since he saw his dead wife, and this should really be a John and Mary reunion.

Out in the hall, Dean's gleeful and Sam's all, how the hell did this happen? Dean explains that he's wanted this since he was four years old (oh, my heart) but Sam warns that messing with time will not end well. I don't actually remember Sam being that concerned about the unintended consequences of time travel, but I'm sure there's a good reason he's bringing it up now. Dean doesn't care. Dean just wants one family dinner together (oh, my heart again, remembering his one last dinner with Mary).

Sam, sans Dean, runs into John in the library, because Mary's off making a shopping list and he decided he'd rather examine the bunker than be involved in that I guess? Okay. But then this happens.

I screwed up with you a lot, didn't I?

No, that's okay.

No, it's not. Sammy, tell me the truth.

I don't want to talk about that.

You didn't have a problem talking about it before you left.

Dad. For me, that fight, that was a lifetime ago. I don't even remember what I said. I mean, yeah, you know, you did some messed-up things. But I don't... I mean, when I think about you... and I think about you a lot... I don't think about our fights. I think about you... I think about you on the floor of that hospital, and I think about how I never got to say goodbye.

Sam. Son. I am so sorry.

I'm sorry too. But you did your best, Dad. You fought for us, and you loved us. And that's enough.

OH MY GOD. This is everything I ever wanted.

1. John admitting he was a crap parent to Sam.

2. Sam trying to sidestep that - because he's Sam Winchester and that's what he does - and John not letting him.

3. Sam finally calling him out instead of just saying nah, it's fine.

4. John calling him Sammy.

5. Sam pointing out that he didn't get a goodbye from John. (Did he ever find out that Dean got praise and an apology?)

6. John apologizing.

7. Sam forgiving him.

8. "And I think about you a lot."

9. The way Sam keeps having to stop talking and look away and make that little "hmmm" noise.

10. And the tears.

10b. The way Sam tears up even before The Talk, when he remembers them as kids trying to make Winchester Surprise.

11. The shaky voice.

12. And Sam's shirt.

13. And the way Sam's expression looks so much like his expression in Sacrifice, when he tells Dean that his confession was about how he let his brother down.

This, right here, is two minutes and 24 seconds of the best television I've ever seen. I don't care what else this episode does, this 2:24 is worth it. And yes, this is three weeks in a row that Jared Padalecki has ripped my heart out of my chest and STOMPED ON IT.

And I love it.

Meanwhile, Dean gets the shopping list from Mary. Sam finds him and tells him he's right, because Sam also just got everything he ever wanted, and then offers to go shopping with him. (Saaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm!!!!!!!)

When they get to town, the guys split up - Sam to the grocery store, Dean to the liquor store. Dean's surprised to see the liquor store guy, the one who remembered his "usual" earlier in the day, has no idea who he is. If Dean had ever seen "It's a Wonderful Life," he might say this is just like when George Bailey goes into Martini's Bar and isn't recognized. But apparently Dean Winchester, pop culture aficionado, has never seen that movie (no, I haven't gotten over that, and I never will) so he doesn't recognize a classic uh oh, we changed the course of history moment when he experiences it.

Meanwhile, Sam steps out of the grocery store and finds that neither Max nor the postal clerk recognize him. And then he sees a wanted poster in the post office window. Dean Winchester, wanted for assault, murder, and credit card fraud. Whoops! He trots to the car, where Dean is waiting, and tells him they have a problem. "Yeah, we do," says Dean. "Check this out."

He shows Sam his phone and it's a video of SAM IN GLASSES AND A BLACK TURTLENECK AND SLICKED BACK HAIR GIVING A TED TALK. HE RUNS A LAW FIRM AND LOVES KALE. IT IS THE SECOND MOST AMAZING THING I'VE SEEN TONIGHT.

HE'S STEVE JOBS.

So, those of you who were spoiled... did you know about this? Or did they actually keep THIS AMAZING THING under wraps?

Sam Jobs tells his audience that being your best leaves no time for hobbies or a family, and Sam has seen enough. He tells Dean about the wanted poster, and Dean says yes, of course he googled himself too ("a lot of beheadings," hee!!!) and wonders if there are alternate versions of them running around. Sam thinks it's a "temporal paradox," and time is self-correcting, changing to the new one. If they don't fix things, they'll become those alternate versions of themselves. "Well, I'm cool," Dean says, "but you're, ugh." Sam's less worried about them, and more worried about what else might have changed.

(Sidebar: You know, I could quibble about why bringing John forward in time has such a significant butterfly effect, but bringing Mary back, and their other time travel, and Henry's time travel, changed nothing. I absolutely could. But I choose not to, because SAM JOBS, Y'ALL. But okay, let's think about it. 2003 John would have disappeared while Sam was at Stanford. Dean wouldn't have gone to get Sam. Or Sam would have refused to go. Maybe the hurt on both sides was still too fresh. Maybe that's why Dean's hunting alone, and Sam's an internet-famous lawyer.)

What else has changed, you might ask? How about ZACHARIAH? That's right, my favorite angel is back. And with him is ORIGINAL FLAVOR CAS WITH HIS FLUFFY HAIR AND THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. Zachariah calls him "Constantine" and Castiel says "I don't understand that reference" and THANK YOU BABY JESUS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS, BUT THANK YOU. They enter Max's mom's restaurant and ask who's been messing with time. (Because she would know?) And if they don't start talking, he'll have Cas murder all of them. "My name is Castiel," he intones solemnly. "I'm an angel of the Lord." YES YOU ARE. He reveals himself like he did to Dean (no, not like that, jeez) with the shadow wings. Outside, the Winchesters see the bright light of an angelic reveal coming through the restaurant windows, and they know something's up.

They herd everyone out of the restaurant, and are shocked to see Cas and Zachariah. Zachariah is equally surprised to see them. He says they had big plans for the Winchesters, but then their father disappeared and... and he doesn't finish, so we'll never know why yoinking John out of 2003 changed any of that vessel stuff. (Handwave!) Cas, of course, doesn't know them, and when Zachariah orders him to kill them, he complies.

Dean pulls out an angel blade but is, of course, unwilling to actually kill Cas, so he starts hitting him with other things. And Cas, for whatever reason, doesn't just put a finger on his forehead and kill him dead. (Handwave!) Zachariah chokes Sam and asks him what they did, even though he can't talk because he's choking (handwave!) and Sam acts like he's trying to speak so Zachariah gets closer to hear him, and Sam stabs him with an angel blade. Cas continues fistfighting with both of them, and slams Sam head-first into a table a couple of times, leaving him spitting blood on the floor. Which Sam uses to paint an angel-banishing sigil while Cas is choking Dean. Smart Sam for the win!

Bunker. Pretty bruised Dean has explained the temporal paradox, and John accepts that he has to go back, or else Mary will probably disappear. "Okay," he says. "I mean, me versus your mom, that's not even a choice." DAMMIT JOHN WINCHESTER DO NOT MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU. Elsewhere, pretty bruised Sam explains it to Mary, and tells her John won't remember anything.

John tells Dean he never meant Dean to have this kind of life. He's proud of him, but he hoped he'd be able to have a normal life, with a family. "I have a family," Dean says. They sit down and have one final family meal together, and everyone's quiet and sad until John points out that they can either think about what's going to happen, or appreciate what they have right now. They cheer up and listen to Bob Seger (well, we listen to Bob Seger) and talk and laugh and have the family dinner Dean has always wanted.

Later, while doing the dishes, Sam says how unfair it is that they all had this and then have to throw it away, and John has to go back to being Dad. He thinks it would be nice for John to go back knowing what he knows now. "I used to think that too," Dean says, and admits that he's blamed both John and Mary for their crappy lives. And if they could send him back to 2003, or even earlier, maybe none of the crap would happen. "But here's the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Maybe. But I gotta be honest, I don't know who that Dean Winchester is. And I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are."

Later. Mary and John are holding hands, and I guess they're doing the thing now. I'd hoped they'd at least let these two have one last roll in the hay (especially since I'm pretty sure Mobby is permanently done after this), but no. They have a very sweet goodbye and their sons are brokenhearted and I am too. John tells his boys to take care of each other and Sam says "we always do." That's a nice change from telling Dean to take care of Sam, isn't it? He tells them both (BOTH) that he's proud of them and loves them, and they have a three-way hug and Sam wipes his eyes and Dean says "love you too" and I REALLY CAN'T, BOYS, YOU HAVE TO STOP. Then John takes Mary's hand again and Sam crushes the pearl (why does Sam have to be the one to do it?) and John glows and then fades away.

We get a quick glimpse of downtown Lebanon returning to normal, and the three teens talking about how cool it is that "those guys hunt monsters," and then we're back to the bunker. Cas walks in the door and sees the remaining Winchesters, obviously distressed, and asks what happened. "Well, there's a story," says Dean.

And finally, we see the Impala WITH HER ORIGINAL KANSAS PLATE. John's asleep in the driver's seat when he gets a phone call from Dean. "No, I'm okay, I just had one hell of a dream. No, it was a good one."

GUYS. GUYS.

When I heard there was going to be a musical episode for the 200th, I was sure it would suck. When I heard about the Scooby Doo crossover, I cringed, because I knew it would be awful. WHY AM I ALWAYS SO WRONG.

Eh, who cares why. Let's just appreciate what we were given. Happy 300, my friends. Here's to 300 more.

(Please help me stay unspoiled for future episodes, thanks!)

#spn #recap #tv recaps #14.13 #things that make my heart hurt #sam winchester #dean winchester #john winchester #mary winchester