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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

°˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

#bnha 291 #dabi #todoroki touya #endeavor #todoroki shouto #best jeanist #hawks #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #you guys know that scene from the end of the lion king #the part where simba is walking up to the top of pride rock #and he lets out that roar as zimmer's score soars to a crescendo #yeah baby #that's the mood rn #welcome back king

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spideymybucky · 4 years

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An Arrow in the Heart

Greek/Roman mythology Au

Tom Holland x Reader

Tom Holland as Eros.

Reader - Y’all see soon.

A/n: Hello my dear people, welcome to my new story. It’s based on a screenplay i wrote but wanted to people to read it. I hope you like it. Its gonna have more action than this. This is kind of like the prologue, so yea.... Lets start.

Part 0: The beginning of life

(Y/n) never imagined she’d hate her life. She always felt that she was meant for greatness, that she was important, but, little by little, this went fleeting her mind. Now she’s in college, trying to pay attention while glancing at her watch every thirty seconds. She knew that if she were late, all hell would break loose.

Her professor, Mr. Brown, kept talking about their grades and how it was essential to finish with time for revision, as he would not use his free time to counsel students. He kept writing on the black chalkboard and laughing at his jokes—all slow and monotonous, with no spark of excitement.

“I know I’ve exceeded my time, but just bear with me for a minute…” He opened his presentation, dragging down the white background, and putting on the final project’s instructions. (Y/n) looked at the blinking red numbers, it stated 4:05, and at that exact time, her phone turned on with a notification. Ariti Restaurant - Shift starts at 5 pm. Mr.Brown started talking again, all about the project and, right there and then, she knew she was going to be late. Tardiness was never her parents’ favorite attribute of the “new” generation.

“Fucking hell…” She mumbled under her breath. She took one last glance at the clock, that had changed from 4:05 to 4:15 and decided to leave the class. She didn’t want to face her mother’s wrath. She grabs her stuff and goes quietly. She runs out of the building and to the street. She then proceeds to walk fast towards the nearest station. She stops at a crosswalk and looks at the red sign as the cars passed. Her phone chimed this time, she looked at it, and it stated 4:30. She was going to be late, horribly. She should have left minutes ago.

The crosswalk turns green, and she bolts two blocks down. She then proceeds to get to the station, run down the stairs, past the ticket, and enter. She looks for the red lane, it’s to the left, and runs as fast as her feet could take her. She gets to the platform just in time for the doors to close, and a few seconds later, the train to leave.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” she mumbled under her breath.

(Y/n) stairs at it, heaving as she lets go of her stuff. She turns around and sees a bench, where she proceeds to sit down. God, her mother was going to kill her. She turns on her phone and texts her.

(Y/n): I’m going to be a bit late, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.

She turned down her phone and picked up her journal, where she had various drawing of moments in history that resonated with her, moments she didn’t even know could exist and people she had never met. All had the same feeling, that she had experienced them. A dejavu moment, that had never left her brain. She turned to her last drawing, a white pristine dress adorned a woman, who was holding a sword, next to her a black suited man, who had a box in his hands. It felt familiar yet distant, like something she had seen somewhere. She continued drawing, outlining the woman's hair, she still didn’t have er features defined.

The train came a few minutes later and she got it. It speed out of the platform and into the view of the city. Her phone, which she had on her hand, started vibrating intensely.

Mother: Where are you?

Mother: don't ignore my texts.

Mother: We are going to be late because of you.

Father: Answer your mother's texts, Cythera Cyprus.

Mother: If we miss your brother's game, I won't ever forgive

you.

Father: We expected better from you. Tardiness is not who we

are, Cytherea.

Father: If you don't prioritize your responsibilities, then

why bother coming?

With each text coming through her phone lit up, making her annoyed. She only wanted some peace and quite, for just a moment. She turns enter her phone and looks at her response. It hadn't been sent, she pressed the small red circle with an exclamation point, and to options came out, send/delete. She tries to send it again, and to her luck, the message goes through.

(Y/n) runs in through the back door, of the kitchen. She grabs an apron, hanging on the backside of the wall and puts it on. Her name tag with a miss-spelled name, not even that her parents got right. She grabs a receipt and starts cutting the lettuce, she finishes and proceeds to get the chicken and the pita bread. Her mother strides in, an annoyed look on her face. She looks at what her daughter is doing and rolls her eyes.

“You’re are doing it wrong and you’re late.” Her rough voice called out.

“I'm sorry, it won't happen again. My class ended a bit late today and i just- it was the final project-” The woman, about 55 years old with a frown upon her face, rolls her eyes and scoffs at her.

“I don't like excuses, you should’ve left earlier, I don’t care about your project. Now I’m going to be late.” (Y/n) finishes the Chicken Pita bread and turns around, grabbing a tray and putting the plate on. She grabs a the green drink that comes along and a hummus spread, with pita bread on the side.

“I’m sorry ok? I swear, it wont happen again.” With another disdain look, her mother got out of the way. A small sigh left her lips before a fake smile spread on her face. She read the receipt, table 5, and went there.

“What took so long? I ordered this a while ago.” A frazzled woman raised her voice. She smiled at her politely.

“I know ma’am, we had some problems in the kitchen but we brought you a side of hummus and pita bread on the house.” The lady nodded and continued looking at her phone. (Y/n) left the food and moved to another customer, her mother eyeing her from the side table. She grabbed some more orders and rang up a costumer, where her mother intervened and checked twice if she was doing it right. It was horrible, overbearing and annoying but if she said something, she would be doomed.

“I’m leaving” Her mom announced while she was making more hummus. She turned around and nodded at her. “I expect nothing less than a squeaky clean place and two thousand on the register. I already counted, we have 1950.”

“But its payday, we gotta pay Danny.” She turned around and looked at the cook, a quite 40-year-old man with a sketchy background but didn’t expect to wrok for more than the minimum wage. Her mother hired him on the spot, she was a cheap person.

“I don’t (Y/n), figure it out. I don’t care pay dani and leave the rest.” She nodded and looked at her mother leave, with her hair pressed up and the latest boots that were trending. Sometimes she wonders why they had her. Was it because of pity? Was it because they expected her to be a boy? She just wanted to finish everything, get the restaurant and leave. She’d manage it from for away, from somewhere her parents couldn’t bother her.

Closing time came and before she knew it, she handed Dani his money. He preferred cash not check. She put the chair up on the table and turned all the light out. She smiled at Dani, who opened the glass door and left. She looked at everything one last time, making sure she didn’t miss anything and turned around. She closed the door, locked it and took a step forwarded before she fell to the ground. Her heart was hurting. Was she going to die? What the hell was happening?

“Help, fucking help.” She screamed or tried too. She was to young to die, she wanted more form like. She looked down and saw a golden arrow coming out of her chest and she started panicking again.

“Holy shit, holy shit holy shit.” She repeated to herself. She looked up and saw a man passing her, as if nothing was wrong. “FOR GOD SAKE, HELP ME PLEASE.” She screamed on more time, then the golden arrow disappeared but the feeling of dying didn't. She stayed kneeling on the floor, grabbing her chest, and heaving. Death really was coming. God, if I ever come back as something else, I’m really going to live life this time. She saw a pair of black boots coming closer. They were leather, she was sure of it. She looked up and saw a frizzled man, curly hair, defined jaw-line and a frown upon his face. Yet, all she could feel was love and desire for him.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPENING TO HER?

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland #tom holland mcu #MCU #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland x original character

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jam-is-my-food · 3 years

Note

writing asks. all of them. ( for 50 uhh just write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you </3 )

fUCK YOU NESSIE

THAT’S IT IM DOING IT JUST TO SPITE YOU

this is gonna be long asf click keep reading at risk of death or boredom

1. Do you listen to music when you write?

not usually, it's distracting

2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

naturally pantser but if i wanna actually finish smth i gotta plot it hh

3. Computer or pen and paper?

computer i'm not a boOmer /j i so am

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

bitch i wiSh

actually technically i was published in this anthology thing once? and i think i have a piece in a magazine somewhere on the internet i forget those are cool

but yeah bye getting a novel published is my d r e a m (gotta write a novel first tho lawl)

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

n o t m u c h

unless i get one of my bUrsts aka finishing a 2.3K almoons chapter before 8am the other week after procrastinating it for like two months

but yeah jdsghliuedskj it um depends often none

6. Single or multiple POV?

i answered that for kiri so i'll just copy paste it over loll

mmm it depends. usually i do single? but i do do multiple occasionally. i almost never do alternating chapters, though, it’s usually more like part one is narrated by person a, part two person b etc.

7. Standalone or series?

baha like i could ever write a series (please, please be jinxing yourself rn refster) aside from that one trilogy when i was 7 but uh yeah atm just standalones but a series would be so cool in future

8. Oldest WIP

the aforementioned trilogy. chronicles of clara. it is incREDIBLE. 10/10. so good. so, so good.

9. Current WIP

i haven't actually mentioned it on tumblr yet but hehehe it's called the wordweaver's apprentice it's fantasy and i'm v excited about it :DD that was ooc but :DD

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

(also answered for kiri, copy-pasting over)

hahahahhahahuhdkjashdglauhsdaugediuskjlkehdsgihkdskhgdkjx

i? try?

it does not go well?

but then i never finish my projects?

send help pls im dying

11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

lmao the list is too long

12. Describe your perfect writing space

somewhere w/o distractions

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

hm. idea. that's cool. that's cool. write it down. hype myself up. forget about it within a week.

el em mayo

but like

f r LMAO

okay but fr fr idk i don't usually finish stuff but it'd be idea, brainstorm, plot (sort of), write, agonize, write, finish, throw in the other direction and never touch again bc revision whos she

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

cry and spam my friends

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

i don’t - mm. i don’t tend to get writer’s block? or like - idk what to classify as writer’s block? bc sometimes i get blocked for a certain story, but then i get really into like poetry or sum for a week so it’s fine idk

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

o n e as i said i don't - revision is a no

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

uHhHhhhhh idk???

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

*laughs in gfc*

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

i don't. if you have any ideas please hmu i need it.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

m a n y.

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

mmmmmmmmm i love cass i haven't written her in too long but i think she's probably my most well-done character to date and i'm so proud of her badkghewiludkjs

22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

c y i l l

though possible imeini (ship name needs revision) in future we shall see (from twa) (the aforementioned newish wip)

23. Favourite author

there are Many

24. Favourite genre to write and read

fantasy maybe? ooh dystopia is fun

25. Favourite part of writing

everything about it when i'm motivated hh, my problem is getting more motivation

26. Favourite writing program

oh idk huh?

27. Favourite line/scene

idk?

28. Favourite side character

j o o s t

29. Favourite villain

i def have one but i forget

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

too many

31. Least favourite part of writing

motivating myself :/

32. Most difficult character to write

mmmm i'm not really in the throes of a wip atm so idk

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

yessir

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

drunk will was surprisingly difficult in a fun way. def not the hardest but yeah

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

god idk

36. Last sentence you wrote

And then Mei was gone, and in the space that she'd filled, Imani whispered, "I wish I was like you."

37. First sentence or your current WIP

It is said that when we came to this stretch of Tatys land, it was empty.

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

mm there was one about anthropomorphic chickens battling sentient fruits, the fruits in question also being six-year olds

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

s e e a b o v e

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

cass's mom used to have a drug problem & she would leave her alone for long stretches of time, she went to rehab and is now sober but it's where cass gets her abandonment issues from

41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

just write! no one taught me how to do anything, and there's no rules per se, aside from basic grammatical stuff. do what you wanna do, don't worry about others' reactions. this is cliche asf but true.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

mostly gross, but they can be good.

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

adapt. i g o w i t h t h e f l o w.

44. How much research do you do?

not much usually, depends on the genre of story. i do as much as i feel i need to. and ofc i have the random writer search history.

45. How much world building do you do?

in the past, not much. twa (once again my new wip) is fantasy, though, so i' m attempting to remedy that.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

i do! it's fun to look back at them after a few years and see how much i've improved.

47. Best way to procrastinate

random character headcanons/doodle writey spurt thingies

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

bAHA this one scene in the cHrOniCLeS of cLaRa book two when this girl lisa who was 100% self-insert got annoyed at her little sister daisy (sister-insert) for chewing too loudly and then proceeded to use her wAtEr pOwErs to like flood the house. that part was less self-insert.

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

bye that's so hard. c a d m u s & l a u r e n t tho cinnamon rolls are liFE.

50. Write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you

i don't gotta write my own bitch i have everything i need to plagiarize from right here

"Raver-Lampman’s enthusiasm is contagious. So is her laugh. It comes from deep inside, just like her voice, and it rings out — ricocheting off furniture and walls. Her head is shaved, all except for a distinctive swath of tight curls on the top and left side of her head. She has the tiniest septum ring in her nose, and a tattoo of what looks like a musical note behind her right ear."

- the clearly gay jessica belt

thank you for the ASKS darLING and thank you if you read this idk why or whether you're okay but yup

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merryclaus · 5 years

Text

A really horrific Alice Madness Returns song I wrote that I may or may not revise and record later on

🎤 My mind is a mess and I'm losing my sight, gotta pull myself together with all my might. I'm slowly falling, going insane and he's all to blame.

Falling over and sliding down, so close and yet I drown. But I need answers and I'll find them, will burn it down in the end.

I can feel it, I'm starting to break but I can't just yet. You underestimate what I can do, believe me just bet.

I'm sinking further and further into the void and the only thing around me is white noise. I gotta catch the train to my own head and solve this mystery before I'm dead.

The mirrors around me shatter, and the blood of my enemies splatter. I gotta catch the train to my own head and solves this mystery before I'm dead.

My Vorbal Blade is the only sword I need, and I won't stop swinging until my enemies bleed. Fading in and out of consciousness where am I now, if I'm here then nobody's getting out.

Smash them with my Hobby Horse and make them feel the sting, show them the horrors a girl like me can bring.

I can no longer tell reality from my fantasy, but I can hear your voice laughing at me.

I'm sinking further and further into the void and the only thing around me is white noise. I gotta catch the train to my own head and solves this mystery before I'm dead.

The mirrors around me shatter and the blood of my enemies splatter. I gotta catch the train to my own head and solve this mystery before I'm dead.

Tea time with grenades is fun but only if they explode. The Queen of Hearts got nothing on me, send your knights and I'll make them fold.

Collect the teeth and upgrade, collect all the memory bottles, Once Wonderland was an empire but now everything's toppled.

I am no longer a doll for you to toy with and deceive, I've won so it's time for you to take your permanent leave. 🎤

This is actually pretty bad, it seemed much better in my head. Oh well, leave and learn.

#alice madness returns #music #original lyrics #fanmade song #i tried #video games #madness returns #my lyrics

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organisaticns · 6 years

Photo

so im due to start at cambridge university for bio natural sciences in october and i thought i would write a post about what helped me make a successful application. hopefully this is useful to some people!! (also this is an incredibly long post you’ve been warned)

if anyone wants me to do a more in depth post on one specific section, or you guys have any questions at all, feel free to drop me a message!!

choosing a course

this is the most important bit!!! you’re dedicating 3/4/5/6 years of your life to this

oxbridge as rule (esp cambridge) have slightly different courses to other universities so do your research - on their websites and at open days

i know top students are supposed to apply to oxbridge bc “it’s the best” and stuff but if the courses offered don’t interest you or you prefer how other unis teach that course, DON’T APPLY!! it’s not worth it

generally, look at your a level/ib/etc subjects and which sort of courses they meet the entry requirements for then look at websites and stuff to try and narrow it down

talk to current students! the blog askacambridgestudent on tumblr is great, each area has an oxbridge conference each april if you can go, ask students at open days

they can tell you what it’s actually like

read some books in the subject area you’re considering, watch ted talks, go to masterclasses, do work experience

this will help you choose a course and also be useful later when you write your personal statement

okay so when i was applying people kept telling me i would only be successful if the only thing i thought about 24/7 was biology and it was the love of my life. this is not true. you can have other interests don’t believe the people that tell you that you cant

that being said you need to be passionate about your subject!! refer to bullet point 1!! they want to know that you’re interested in it and this needs to show

oxford vs cambridge

this is really hard for some people but my course is only offered at cambridge so i did not have this problem

so first see if you prefer the course offered at one of them

if not, visit both and hopefully you’ll get a better vibe from one

i have no good advice here

writing your personal statement

okay writing a ps is just not fun okay prepare yourself for that

if anyone wants a biology/natural sciences example message me and i can send you mine

this post has some really good advice

start early, aim to have it completely done and edited by early september (oxbridge deadline is 15th october)

first, think about things you want to write about - i wrote a paragraph on a book i’d read, a paragraph each on two summer schools i did, a paragraph on my epq, and a paragraph on extracurricular

things you can talk about - books, ted talks, lectures, summer schools, masterclasses, epq, independent research into stuff, work experience

when you’re writing about stuff you gotta engage with it, so dedicate a whole paragraph to one book, then take one key theme and talk about how it interested you and how you looked up other things to do with it - link it to a different concept or talk about which theory you like best if theres conflicting theories in the field etc

it’s a hard thing to do but just pick different bits you liked about the book and try to discuss it - a key theory, theme, character etc

you can be asked about your ps in interview so make sure you’re comfortable discussing the books on your ps

you also do not need to talk about multiple books if you don’t want to, i only talked about one and i know people who didn’t mention any

don’t just say things like “im passionate about biology”!! back it up with something!! say you’re passionate about one specific topic in your field and why, discuss how different things you did/read consolidated your interest, show your interest through discussion about the subject

try to link in slightly different subject areas or experiences, and definitely link everything to your course and why you’d be a good student

i managed to link my latin AS level to biology so anything is possible folks

while you want all your paragraphs to be very supercurricular based on things you’ve done and read, try and drop in some of those buzz words they love - you know like about your academic writing skills, enthusiasm, opportunity, dedication, communication, interdisciplinary skills etc.

oxbridge do not give a shit about your extracurricular but other unis do so you want one paragraph max on it and try to link it to transferable skills - it makes you a good communicator etc

write your first draft - it will be shitty but just write it, leave the intro and conclusion to last

introductions and conclusions are super hard to write but it’s doable. try to take the general idea you’re trying to include (mine was how interdisciplinary study is important to both all the sciences together and sub disciplines in bio) and write a little bit about it

it doesn’t have to be long, your intro should introduce your passion to the subject (please don’t do the whole “i’ve wanted to study bio since i was five and x happened” thing)

conclusion can be super short, just reinforce you’re excited to study your subject in a new environment and have new opportunities

look at the tsr examples for inspiration

try to make it cohesive ish? have a running theme? (like how this one has a running theme? i actually took a lot of inspiration from that ps)

don’t say things like “im a motivated and commited student with good time management skills” without smth to back it up - “while undertaking an independent research project, i developed time management skills, and researching x made me more interested bc y” is better (i mean still not incredible but i wrote that literally just now okay)

the student room has a load of examples from people who’ve already applied

read the ones in your subject, work out which bits you like and don’t like, apply to your own (be careful of plagiarism tho)

disclaimer: not all the ps on there are good

once you have a complete and awful first draft show it to a teacher

most people show it to the relevant subject teacher, but also to your tutor, the higher education adviser, oxbridge adviser

they will hopefully help you make it less awful but don’t let them change it so much it doesn’t sound like you

i showed mine to the oxbridge adviser at my school and well he laughed at it bc it was so bad so you know

but i didn’t listen to everything he said bc some of the things he wrote like no 17 year old would say

keep revising drafts, showing to teachers until you can’t stand reading it anymore then get someone else (maybe parents?) to spell check and be done with the horrible thing

no one likes their personal statement, you will read it in august and wonder how you could possibly write something so bad

the actual ucas application

make sure your predicted grades are at least as high as the entrance requirements

you don’t really have much control over your teacher reference but you can use it to mention things you couldn’t fit in your personal statement if you can convince your teachers to include stuff

make sure all your qualifications and stuff are accurate

the saq (cambridge only)

you have to fill this in straight after october 15th

it’s mostly boring admin stuff, filling in topics and class sizes etc.

you have an option to write an additional (shorter) personal statement

this is really useful if the course you’re applying to at oxbridge is different to the other courses youve applied to - such as if you applied to politics everywhere else but hsps at cambridge - use it to explain why you want to do that specific course at cambridge

but you definitely don’t have to write one, i didnt!

make sure you get this in on time

written work

for some courses you have to send in written work

i didn’t have to so i don’t have loads of advice, but make sure you send in stuff that you’re comfortable discussing at interview

they’ll be guidelines on the cambridge website and on your specific college’s website

admissions tests

not the most fun things

find the specification on the website and go through, highlighting and revising the points you don’t know

try to find some past papers and do them

this really depends on the subject you’re doing so i can’t give much more advice but if anyone needs advice specific to the NSAA shoot me a message

also, these are just part of your application and even if you came out of yours thinking it’s the worst test you’ve ever had it probably didn’t go that badly

the NSAA is the hardest test i’ve ever sat and i thought i had done completely shit and i still got an offer so there’s still hope

interviews

okay so first, don’t believe the rumours

you know the ones where people say they got given a banana and asked to use it to explain how quantum mechanics relates to of mice and men

interviews are definitely scary, but they are nowhere near as bad as people make them out to be, and they don’t ask you weird unrelated questions

make sure you know your personal statement inside out and you feel comfortable talking about the topics/books/etc you mentioned on there in depth

keep up to date with any recent news or high profile research in your field (you don’t need to know details, just have a vague idea of what’s going on)

this is especially important if you’re applying for politics or economics or something like that

if your school offers a mock interview, definitely have one, though don’t panic if you can’t have one there’s other ways to prepare

the whole point of interview is them wanting to see how you think and how you respond to unfamiliar problems

so i looked up a list of “past oxbridge interview questions” and practised writing down a quick answer to them and thinking about how i would go about solving the problem

oxford has some examples on the “sample questions” bit here

i also used this site but remember a lot of these probably aren’t actual interview questions

if you have an opportunity, just talk to your relevant subject teacher about the topics beyond your specification

you honestly don’t need to do too much interview prep, just do enough so you feel a bit calmer about the whole thing

hope some of that helps :)

#ucas #a levels #oxford #cambridge #oxbridge #university #masterposts #mine

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abigblueorganicmagnet · 6 years

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Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm finally actually wrote somethin’ with mah lawbutt Watson (Thanks again @bliss-bayou!!!). Also has my deer toon Aiushtha and tall black cat Oblique Feline. Been working on it on and off for.... a while. Hope it’s well received!

Watson silently sifted through one of the many, many, MANY file cabinets in the DA office they were working in. An office C, to be exact, fourth floor. They pulled out a few legal briefs that they would need for later, and slid the drawer shut again. Watson, a level 10 legal eagle, had been working in said office for a number of years. They were a capable lawyer, with an impressive success record, but honestly preferred working behind the scenes, prepping cases for higher-ups. Not because they didn’t like working in the courtroom specifically. There was something inherently gratifying about successfully nailing a prosecution, a feeling ingrained in the programming of all lawbots. No, Watson just didn’t like interaction, period. Working a case up front meant talking to other cogs, or worse, toons! They despised it all, so instead got a job working in one of the offices preparing legal briefs and prepping cases. For someone who didn’t like discussion, Watson was a very skilled argumentative thinker, and their wicked twists of logic had won plenty of cases. The logical compromise was to have Watson prep the cases while other cogs delivered them. Of course, 9 times out of 10 those cogs took credit for everything, but ultimately Watson didn’t really care. They weren’t invested in the cases or the recognition that came from winning them, they just wanted to earn their pay and be left alone.

That was the best part about their job, as far as they were concerned. The fourth floor was pretty quiet, the only real regulars being the occasional big wig or the clerk himself. Usually their boss would send Watson down the details of a case and give them a few days to put together a brief with airtight arguments and assertions. On a good day, Watson would be the only one on the whole floor, left to their work with no interruptions. Judging by the characteristic “Ding” of the nearby elevator, today wasn’t one of those days.

Watson turned to see who was entering the floor, anticipating a few high-ranking lawbots from above. What they didn’t expect was to see four fairly short skelecogs, sellbot by the looks of them, toolboxes in hand, to come pacing in. Watson grimaced, and casually stepped into the entrance to the hall, blocking the skelecog’s path. “Aren’t you runts a little far from sellbot HQ?” they sneered. The biggest of the group, a gladhander skeleton judging by proportions, stared up at them with the emotionless gaze that only a skelecog could pull off. “Here for stomper maintenance. Just need to run some diagnostic tests, make sure everything’s lubricated, check for wear and tea-” “Yes, I know what maintenance is,” Watson cut him off. “Just don’t be too loud, and don’t set off any of the virtual skelecog traps,” they said, going back to their papers, not giving the skelecog crew any more of their attention. They hated sellbots. The whole branch had this habit of talking too much and not saying anything worthwhile. “Right,” grunted the gladhander, leading the way deeper into the office.

Watson grew irritated merely by knowing the sellbots were there. Of course someone scheduled maintenance and didn’t tell anyone. They just hoped that none of those sellbots got any of their greasy little skelecog hands on any of the books in the office. Grease was impossible to get out, and some of those legal tomes were out of print. The very thought of it ruffled Watson’s synthetic feathers. As if on cue to further their irritation, a particularly skinny skelecog walked back into the room and began bugging them. “Where is your security stomper switchboard?” it asked. Watson rolled their eyes. “Two rooms down, probably behind a few boxes of paper on the right side wall,” they replied, not even looking up. When the sellbot tried to prompt for further instructions, Watson just waved them off. They couldn’t be bothered right now, there was a financial dispute between a couple of cashbots that needed resolving.

Time passed and thankfully the skeletal intruders had been fairly quiet. Either they actually knew how to do their job without making a huge fuss, or they were all still trying to move the painfully heavy boxes to reach the switchboard. Regardless, Watson was happy that no one was interfering with their work. Their beak tightened into a dry smile, they were happy with what they had completed. The briefs on this file, if used correctly, would cost the defense every cent to their name, and garnish their earnings for at least a few years to come. Knowing that their efforts would lead to such misery made it all worthwhile. Watson grabbed their copy of “Cog Financial Legislation Vol. IV” and went down the hall. The shelf where this book went was, unfortunately, passed the stompers that those grubby little sellbots were working on, but if Watson was lucky, they could slip by without a word. What Watson didn’t expect was to find the stompers still shut down, tools scattered across the floor, and no skelecogs to be found. Those slackers probably took a break to discuss what brand of oil they like best, thought Watson. They crossed to the other side of the room and nearly tripped on something. Glancing down with no subtle hint of irritation, Watson saw a couple of sprockets that looked to be about the right size for a telemarketer. They were covered in whipped cream. “Toons…” Watson hissed. Just what they needed. They snuck further down the hall, careful not to make too much noise. Eventually they heard what sounded like a conversation happening in the next room…

“...Yeah, this is all new stuff! Thanks again for the help getting up here!” said one voice. It was slightly scratchy, and right on the cusp of what would be considered a ‘deep’ voice. “Oh of course! It’s great to spend time with you!” Replied another, smooth, feminine voice. “Though, we should also try to hang out in places outside of lawbot HQ?” Watson crept around the corner, staying as silent as they could, to get a view of the intruders. One was a brown deer toon, wearing an obnoxious getup of rainbow and tie-dye items. The other was a tall black cat, dressed in a more subtle color scheme, a mix of dark blues and maroons. The two seemed to be sifting through the enormous collection of books that lined the shelves of the room. Watson sneered at them, they didn’t even think toons could read, honestly. “...How about ‘Cog Zoning Laws: Revisions After the Peltzer Act’?” asked the deer in her satin voice. “Uhh…. how old is the publish date?” replied the cat. The deer pulled the tome from its shelf and flipped to the first few pages. “...A few years ago?” The cat seemed to rack his brain for a moment. “I mean…. Cog law revision is a pretty slow process… could still be relevant? Couldn’t hurt to look into it?” he shrugged. The brown deer handed him the heavy book, which looked to have at least seven or eight hundred pages in it, and that was low-balling it. Watson watched the cat open it to a random page and skim over it. What did these conniving toons want with cog law books? “...Oooh! Yeah, okay. This is good stuff!” smiled the cat. He chuckled. “Get a load of this. Apparently by cog law, businesses can purchase rights to land planned for infrastructure and/or utilities if…” Watson had heard enough. Though they weren’t sure WHY these toons were in here seemingly studying the laws of cog society, they DID know that these intruders needed to be driven out. Not by them, of course. If these toons had made it this deep into the facility, then they had to be packing some pretty powerful gags. Thinking quickly, they slipped back into one of the nearby rooms, one with virtual skelecog traps. While they weren’t sure if the cog projectors could reach into the room the toons were in, the alarms would at least likely scare them off. They stamped a metal shoe onto one of the red skulls that lit up the floor. Immediately, alarms started to blare, and the cog projectors crackled to life. “ALERT! THE DOCUMENTS YOU ARE TRYING TO ACCESS ARE NOT PUBLIC RECORD. YOU WILL NOW BE FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE PREMISES!” spoke the hallow voice of a projected skelecog, expecting to be greeted by toons. Watson silently pointed down the hall, toward the toons, signaling them to move. “PATROL RADIUS RESTRICTED TO THIS ROOM!” while Watson made eye contact with one of the skelecogs, the voice itself came from a speaker off to the side. They rolled their eyes at the projection’s insolence. “Then reroute some goons! Unless you want a bunch of grubby animals going through the office’s library,” The projection flickered for a moment before loudly stating “THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED OF THE INTRUSION! LAWBOT FORCES WILL ARRIVE VIA ELEVATOR SHORTLY. DO NOT ENGAGE THE INTRUDERS!” the four virtual cogs flickered out as the trap reset itself. The alarms continued to blare. “As if I needed you to tell me that,” grumbled Watson.

Oblique Feline jumped at the sound of an alarm from another room. His friend, Aiushtha, gave him a worried look. “Are… we not the only toons here?” she asked. He shrugged, slamming the book shut. “I don’t know. Just grab a few books that seem pertinent and I’ll sort the rest out later!” he said, sliding it into his backpack. Aiushtha gave a short nod and grabbed a few random books from the shelves. The pair quickly snagged what they could carry. Oblique Feline glanced at the nearby elevator, and saw the display overhead show that something was going up, probably on its way to their floor. “We gotta split!” he said, hurrying them along. “I’ll meet you back at the estate?” asked the deer. “Yeah, I’ll take those off of your hands when you get there!” replied the cat before the two quickly placed and hopped into their respective teleport holes.

The elevator doors slid open to reveal a pair of high level, elite looking cogs. A spin doctor and the clerk himself, a big wig, who entered the now empty room, followed by a small brigade of goons. Watson peeked around the corner to see if the toons were gone. “You!” grunted the big wig, who noticed them immediately. “Did you sound the alarms?” Watson huffed, and confidently sauntered down the hallway to meet them. “Yes. The intruders just teleported out,” they reported. The spin doctor frowned, “Why didn’t you remove them yourself?” he asked, rather pointedly. “My priority is to stay in one piece. You sacrifice pawns, not the queen,” they shot back. “What were they up to? Hoarding jury notices as usual?” interjected the big wig. Watson shook their head. “No, no. They were… stealing books,” The two elite cogs glanced at each other. “Are you certain?” prodded the spin doctor. Watson rolled their eyes and pointed to the empty spaces on the shelves. The doctor’s frown intensified as he sneered at the empty spots, trying to remember what was once there. Most advanced cogs like him had near photographic memory, it was just a matter of ‘retrieving’ it. “They stole… zoning law records? Why?” Watson was growing increasingly exasperated, how would they know?! “Do they even know what those are? Can toons even read?” the doctor turned to his wigged boss, who hadn’t said much. The goon troop returned after sweeping the office. A series of short, harsh beeps told everyone that there were no toons in the area. “I want security increased in this office, and I’m going to convene with other clerks to suggest the same. Order more goons, and have more hologram traps installed. Have the interns take inventory on our library, so we know what else is missing. I want to know what these loons are looking for,” the big wig rattled off. The spin doctor nodded and re-entered the elevator, taking the goons with him. “And you,” the clerk said to Watson. “Cancel any plans you have for the night. I want a detailed record of what you saw happen delivered to my office by tomorrow. Tell me what they looked like, and if you have names, share them,” Watson sneered but accepted. “Good,” the big wig joined the spin doctor in the elevator. Watson signed as the doors closed. This was going to be a long night.

#Watson #toonblr #toontown #toontown rewritten #ttr #fanfic #long post

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char27martin · 7 years

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How I Got My Agent: Julia Walton

When I graduated from college in 2007, the economy tanked and it was viewed as unwise to seriously pursue any artistic endeavors. My family was thrilled that I had managed to secure a stable job in uncertain times and even though my heart was broken at the thought of working at a desk, I consoled myself with the following mantra:

You’re lucky to have a job. This is only temporary.

I used that mantra for seven years in the insurance industry while I wrote three novels on my lunch breaks and quietly plotted my escape. To keep my spirits up, I listened to all seven Harry Potter books on audio (repeatedly) while I checked client policies and issued certificates of insurance. The music of Les Miserables became a favorite soundtrack of mine (for obvious reasons) and I kept a doodle pad on my desk next to my wish jar as another means of distraction when the monotony of customer service became too much to handle.

Eventually I wrote something that I hoped would free me, but when I first ventured out on my quest for publication, I did everything wrong.

Julia Walton received her MFA in creative writing from Chapman University. When she’s not reading or baking cookies, she’s indulging in her profound love of Swedish Fish, mechanical pencils, and hobbit-sized breakfasts. Julia lives in Huntington Beach, California, with her husband and daughter. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @Jwaltonwrites. Her novel WORDS ON BATHROOM WALLS was published by Random House on July 4, 2017. It has received a starred review from Publisher’s Weekly, was listed as a Bookish Must Read for Summer 2017, and was an Amazon Book of the Month for July 2017.

As a budding young writer, I:

1. Wasted a great deal of time still feeling sorry for myself because I worked in insurance and I desperately hated my job. Queue sad violin solo…

Note: This is particularly stupid because my writing time was already limited and I allowed these feelings to nest in my head when I could have been moving forward with my next project.

2. Sent out query letters knowing that my manuscript was not fully polished.

Note: Agents don’t generally sign you based on “potential.” The writing has to shine. Only send out your best work.

3. Allowed jealousy to consume me. Every time I browsed Facebook, it seemed like somebody from high school was actively pursuing their dream job and making progress towards an actual career.

Note: This is probably the most foolish thing I’ve ever done. There is absolutely no point in comparing yourself to other people. There is enough success to go around.

4. Made excuses for myself and started to believe them.

Note: No one is going to fight for your dream. No one is going to save you. SAVE YOURSELF.

5. Nursed quiet feelings of superiority in the workplace like a disgraced princess-in-hiding, who would one day reclaim her throne and cast these unimaginative peasants out.

Note: These feelings were directed towards my bosses, never my coworkers who are actually great people who, more than once, saved my sanity. And it’s perfectly fine to hate your job, but don’t ruin the work environment for your coworkers who might be happy where they are.

6. Let rejection hit me hard.

Note: This is a natural response, but the sooner you accept it as part of the process, the easier it will be to move forward. Listen to Elsa. Let it go…

7. Vented my frustrations to close friends and family, expecting them to understand.

Note: If they’re not writers, chance are they won’t understand. They might love and support you but they won’t understand why you care so deeply about the make-believe world and make-believe people you’ve brought to life.

8. Wrote lackluster query letters.

Note: The query letter matters! Spend a lot of time on it before you send it out.

9. Stopped reading new books by debut authors due to intense jealousy (see item 3) that reared up every time I read about someone with a book deal.

Note: This was absurdly stupid. Why was I denying myself happiness in other books? Because I didn’t want to know how good the other writers were.

10. Cried a lot.

Note: Meh. Maybe this one is okay. Cry if you gotta cry. But maybe don’t sob at your desk. That’s awkward for coworkers on the other side of your cubicle wall.

So here’s how I really got my agent:

I got really good at being a failure. Then, I learned from it.

The biggest literary agent database anywhere is the Guide to Literary Agents. Pick up the most recent updated edition online at a discount.

By doing everything wrong with my first few novels (which, let’s be honest, were not ready to see the light of day anyway), I learned how to navigate the query process with confidence and stopped feeling sorry for myself.

With my fancy, color-coded spreadsheet of information on all the agencies I wanted to query, I created a plan of attack. My query letter went through several revisions until I was satisfied that the hook was strong enough to get a bite and I spent hours researching potential agents who were looking for novels like mine.

On my fourth novel, the one that would eventually get published, I was only rejected by maybe twenty agents before I got a bite. A big bite.

Enter: Heather Flaherty of The Bent Agency

She requested my full manuscript right away. A few weeks later I got “the call” and then “the offer.”

I still have a hard time believing it.

Everything after that point happened very quickly. Two short months later, we were already out on submission to 14 publishers and a few weeks after that, my novel Words on Bathroom Walls was picked up by Random House.

So, I finally did a few things right.

As a more experienced writer, I:

Polished my manuscript, including getting beta readers to provide feedback before I started querying.

Wrote a solid query letter.

Learned to gracefully accept rejection.

Stopped comparing myself to other writers and other people.

Started enjoying books again.

Started my MFA program just after I finished my rough draft, because I realized that I wanted to surround myself with books and people who love books for the rest of my life.

Stopped wasting time feeling sorry for myself.

Stopped expecting family and friends to understand my frustration

Remembered what it feels like to write for the love of it.

Cried a lot.**

** This one didn’t change. I just cried for happier reasons.

My agent, Heather Flaherty, is one of my favorite people on the planet. She is honest and kind and all the good things an agent is supposed to be when they love and support your work. Whenever I think about the chain of events that brought us together, I have to smile because it really was just a lot of failure, followed by luck and stubbornness (on my part). I think she ultimately signed me because she connected with something in my story. Maybe the voice. Maybe the topic. Maybe the epistolary style.

But I don’t think she would have connected at all if I hadn’t failed so miserably so many times before sending that email to her. The early failures are the foundation for the story that finally broke through and the query letter that caught her eye.

I guess after all this time my old mantra still applies. To those writers still in the query trenches, searching for their soul-mate agent while working a crappy job, I would just say:

Yes, you are lucky to have a job. Be grateful for the paycheck that sustains you, but keep writing. That hopeless feeling of not being where you want to be is only temporary as long as you keep going.

If you’re an agent looking to update your information or an author interested in contributing to the GLA blog or the next edition of the book, contact Writer’s Digest Books Managing Editor Cris Freese at [email protected].

The post How I Got My Agent: Julia Walton appeared first on WritersDigest.com.

from Writing Editor Blogs – WritersDigest.com http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/how-i-got-my-agent-columns/got-agent-julia-walton

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