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natsunoomoi · 3 years

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So sometimes I check wikis to like look things up about a show or series that I don’t have time to read or watch the whole thing fully cuz that’s a time investment I just don’t have but I have questions I just want a quick answer to.

The problem is, wikis are of course, made by like regular people with varying levels of biases and also sometimes selective memory of events. As can be seen in my more recent posts with SVSSS and MXTX’s works I’ve been on those wikis, but sometimes the explanations of plot points and a bunch of other stuff are really confusing and circular. SVSSS’s is being more cleaned up recently, but it still has some things that it says happened, that I couldn’t find at all when reading the book and I’m just like, where did they find that info to put on the wiki?

Like one of my earlier posts when I started reading SVSSS at the beginning, I mentioned how I read that original Luo Binghe got killed by his harem eventually and I thought that made sense cuz ultimately no one in that original plotline made choices that made them genuinely happy. But when I read the book, I didn’t see any mention of that anywhere...? I think last time I went to go look at BC Novels they had one chapter left to translate. Is it in there?

Then at other times, I wonder if there’s an inconsistency because there’s a limitation between the translation I read and like something in the original Chinese text like there’s a typo, which obviously there’s a mistake then. But then other times, I’m wondering if people read a different thing, but most of the people with a different interpretation don’t seem to be able to read Chinese and are reading the same translation as me, but I’m confused where they got certain details from?

Like for instance, there’s another part on the wiki where it says Airplane originally planned for PIDW to be a BL from the beginning, but I’ve literally been trying to find where that was stated because I don’t remember that and I don’t see that anywhere and the chapter citation that is listed on the wiki goes to a chapter that doesn’t talk about that at all. Airplane/Qinghua does say that he made changes to Qingqiu’s character that were originally more complex to make him a trash human and he did that to make a living, but I can’t find where it says he originally wanted it to be a BL theme to begin with. In the chapter they cite it says that Qinghua had designed Binghe to have an appearance in a way that appealed more to a female audience and be more of a pretty boy. That doesn’t mean that he meant his entire book to be a BL it just means you make your main character look a certain way partly for internal logic because that look is really popular with women so the in-story women would probably find him attractive and in a meta sense any females who happen to also read a stallion novel like some women read shounen manga would find him hot in real life. A successful story does things like that to reach people outside of its target audience and that’s kind of a lot of the reason why a lot of Shounen Jump manga are really popular with women too even though a lot of the stories have the male perspective in mind. The chapter it cites only talks about the actual physical appearance design choice he made for Binghe vs Mobei-Jun. He just says that Mobei-Jun was made for the kind of male character he prefers to think about, but Binghe was just designed with the idea of what would make him more popular and also could kind of be like a self-insert-ish for his desire to beat on people for funsies. It doesn’t talk at all about what the genre he planned for the book to be and interpreting the text to that much is really stretching the context to wishful thinking levels. I don’t even actually care either way what kind of novel PIDW was because it’s not actually that important to enjoying the story of SVSSS, but I don’t know if it’s the Ravenclaw in me or what, but it just bugs me when there’s something that seems *wrong* printed on a thing that is supposed to inform other people. I’m literally reading chapters at the same time as trying to write this post to find where I think maybe it was said, but it sure as hell wasn’t the chapter the wiki cites.

The other day I re-read the chapter when Qinghua taunts SY with Qingqiu’s real memories, and he doesn’t even say it then. ATM, I’m trying to look through the last chapter because there’s that one part when Qinghua shows up right at the end and talks with SY at the celebration, but even at the start at the chapter, SY talks about how Qingqiu was super straight to him. SY is an unreliable narrator, but given the context of Qingqiu’s life events that makes sense. His personal trauma because of Qiu Jianluo also pushed him away from any amount of closeness he could have with other men other than ones he already trusted to some degree. He had a lot of problems forming new relationships of any kind with other men because of deep-seated trust issues. Not that he didn’t have any, but meaningful ones were pretty absent. One only because of a very sad misunderstanding and lack of communication and explanation, but the others just tough.

But like also there’s like that SJ slept in the Warm Red Pavilion and he went there just for comfort rather than more lascivious reasons. Yeah, it’s true that he didn’t go there for those intentions, but like it’s still in the environment so it’s not like he’s unaware of what happens there. I mentioned it in the previous post about his search for means to grow his cultivation, but only to say he’s probably not that innocent and there may be some truth to him wanting to do something to Ning Yingying out of desperation to make up for his low cultivation foundation. Like he’s aware of those kinds of things and he probably came across something that said that was a way he could grow his cultivation. Desperation and this motivation I think is probably the only reason why he would be so tempted to cross that line with Yingying because he otherwise treats women rather well. She is his favorite too, so if a person who usually treats females well for some reason wants to do something that would be hurtful to their favorite person, there has to be a much deeper motivation behind that. The only thing that is a canonically greater obsession I think would have to be his cultivation level. He has a number of self-esteem issues and such a well, but his greatest pride and greatest concern is his cultivation. He is proud of his abilities, but also he laments and regrets the version of him he couldn’t become so much I can foresee that if there was a suggestion that he could overcome his late start in some way by using someone female, I think he’d at least think about it and also consider who he knows could be a viable candidate should he want to act on it and that is how that part of PIDW happened. Pain and desperation make people do things that are uncharacteristic, so it has to be something that really bothers him more than in a moment of weakness that idea is there.

Which is another point I have an issue with on the wiki because it says his low cultivation is “logically” because he started late and spent so much time with a fake master. It’s not logically. It’s factually. It’s mentioned several times especially in the extras chapters from Shen Jiu’s point of view where he talks about how he is specifically behind because of wasting time with Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi and also that he was the last to form a golden core. If it was coming out of SY or someone else’s mouth as an explanation, maybe you can say “logically”, but if it’s coming from SJ’s point of view chapter it sure as hell is not. That *IS* his motivation. He states it himself.

Also, I think some people don’t understand what it means to have a low cultivation foundation. Cultivation from what I gather according to the rules of this world is like a lot of talents we have in our world where you need to start young to be good at it. There’s a few skills that you can learn that if you don’t start at a specific time you lose the optimal window to develop your talent for it because of the way the brain functions and basically purges off skillsets you’re not using in your environment.

Learning a language is one such skill. When a baby is born, it has the capability to learn how to speak every language in the world, but as it gets older its brain purges out the sounds that it doesn’t hear from its environment and this keeps going into older childhood as well. The taxi driver I talked to the other day about this said you have to start before you’re 10, which sounds about right. The phoneme purging in your brain starts quite early though so that’s why my company has classes for Moms and their 1 or 2 year old so that they can speak to them in English to try to keep English sounds in their environment so that they can have perfect pronunciation when they grow up. If you try to learn a new language when you’re older that’s how you have accents. You don’t have the phonemes to speak the language perfectly so your brain is imitating the sounds with the ones you do have. Plus it’s a constant use skill. I used to be able to speak Cantonese with no accent up until my teens, but I haven’t spoken it in so long that slowly I started to have an accent and now I can’t say the words properly anymore. I don’t know that much Cantonese to begin with that aren’t baby words, but I used to be able to say them properly.

Music is another one and that one has an even more narrow window. Kids with parents hoping that they will be music prodigies usually start them on music VERY young like 3 or 4. It’s not that it’s impossible for someone to pick up an instrument later in life, but there’s a type of sense to music and hearing the scale and developing that skill that if you don’t start kids on it at that time, their musical ear will not be as good.

And it’s that “not as good” thing that Qingqiu is chasing. He is exceptionally powerful and talented which is why despite starting late he became favored. He is very capable and good at what he does, but he is not as good as what he could have been. Even though he is so good, he is only haunted by how much better he would have been if he had started on time and had proper instruction. A musician who maybe wants to be a concert violinist but took up the instrument late may struggle to get a good seat in an orchestra because despite any talent they have, their ear is not as developed as someone else. Such a musician would be vexed and lament that they hadn’t discovered their love for the instrument sooner just as Qingqiu is vexed and laments that he didn’t start proper cultivation development earlier.

And I’m griping about SVSSS more because I read that book so I have more points of reference to go on. But like the wikis for MDZS and TGCF aren’t much better. MDZS is maybe a little more coherent and easier to follow, but TGCF confused the hell out of me and it took me awhile to understand what was going on. I really needed it though cuz I was watching the donghua and like I think the way they present some of the scenes is like slightly out of order for like foreshadowing and other like film reasons, so I checked the wiki while watching to try to get more context cuz I don’t have much time right now to pick up another book at the moment. I was so confused though cuz like...it seems like the logic in the entries is so circular and I’m trying to keep track of all the characters and what’s happening. I hope it’s better now but at the time I was watching it I was so confused and struggling to make sense of what’s happening.

And like maybe you’re wondering why if I read the book, would I bother checking a wiki. Mostly out of laziness because I’m thinking of something and I don’t want to go find the exact chapter to help me flesh out my thought and reference point. I end up getting more frustrated sometimes depending on what I’m looking up because of the above things.

Plus again I’m like a bit mystified as to why Qingqiu’s look seems to appeal to me. It’s not just him though and like other characters with a similar style in some of the games I play. I think there’s some imprint from some very old childhood memory that I only vaguely remember. Like it’s a look that seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on where it’s from and I can’t figure it out, so I keep just going to check images to see if it will make me remember. I think it’s a movie I saw with my Dad as a young child, but I can’t remember it at all. I remember there was one Jet Li movie I watched with my Dad once and I ended up watching all the time cuz I thought Jet Li was really cute in that movie (I was also 3 so I don’t know why I’m thinking that way, but whatever), but like Jet Li was bald in that movie because it was about a Shaolin Temple. I think at the time my Dad showed me that movie I already showed an interest in movies from my own heritage, so that’s why he showed me that. But like I can’t remember anything else. I suppose it could have been something my grandpa watched because sometimes he’d watch a Chinese movie when I was playing in the living room and I’d stop to watch too and then he’d fast-forward through the intimacy scenes, but because I’d just look over at something he was already watching I have no idea what any of those were.

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lesbeet · 4 years

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not to be a nerd but i accidentally just wrote a whole impromptu essay about editing ndjsdksksk im throwing it under a cut bc it's fucking inane and really long but honestly... i just want other people to become as passionate about editing as i am lmaooooo

i also recommend 2 books in the post so if anything at least check those out!

quality books about editing... *chef's kiss* a lot of the basic ones (including blog posts online n such) are geared towards beginners and end up repeating the same info/advice, much of it either oversimplified or misrepresented tbh. but i read one yesterday and i'm reading another one right now that really convey this passion for editing + consideration for it as its own sort of art and i just!!

it's such a weird thing to be passionate about lmao but i AM and i've spent a lot of time the past year or so consciously honing my craft (ik i mention this like 4 times a week i'm just really proud of how much i've learned and improved) and kind of like. solidifying my instincts into conscious choices i guess?

and these GOOD editing books have both a) taught me new information and/or presented familiar information through a new perspective that helped me understand something differently or in more depth, and b) validated or even just put into words certain preferences or techniques that i've developed on my own, that i don't normally see on those more basic lists i mentioned

btw the book i finished yesterday is self-editing for fiction writers: how to edit yourself into print by renni brown and dave king, and the one i'm reading currently is the artful edit: on the practice of editing yourself by susan bell.

the former was pretty sharp and straightforward. the authors demonstrated some of their points directly in the text, which was usually funny enough that i would show certain quotes to my sister without context

("Just think about how much power a single obscenity can have if it’s the only one in the whole fucking book." <- (it was)

"Frequent italics have come to signal weak writing. So you should never resort to them unless they are the only practical choice, as with the kind of self-conscious internal dialogue shown above or an occasional emphasis."

or, my favorite: "There are a few stylistic devices that are so “tacky” they should be used very sparingly, if at all. First on the list is emphasis quotes, as in the quotes around the word “tacky” in the preceding sentence. The only time you need to use them is to show you are referring to the word itself, as in the quotes around the word “tacky” in the preceding sentence. Read it again; it all makes sense.")

and like i said, i also learned some new ideas or techniques (or they articulated vague ideas i already had but struggled to put into practice), AND they mentioned some suggestions that ive literally never seen anyone else bring up (not to say no one has! just that ive never seen it, and ive seen a lot in terms of writing tips, advice, best practices, etc) that ive already sort of established in my own writing

for example they went into pretty fine detail about dialogue mechanics, more than i usually see, and in talking about the pacing and proportion of "beats" and dialogue in a given scene, they explicitly suggested that, if a character speaks more than a sentence or two and you plan on giving them some sort of dialogue tag or an action to perform as a beat, the tag or action should be placed at one of the earliest (if not the first) natural pauses in the dialogue, so as not to distance the character too far from the dialogue -- bc otherwise the reader ends up getting all of the dialogue information first, and then has to go back and retroactively insert the character, or what they're doing, or the way they look/sound while they're giving their little speech

and like this was something ive figured out on my own, mostly bc it jarred me out of something i was reading enough times (probably in fic tbh) that i started noticing it, and realized that it's something i do naturally, kind of to anchor the character to the dialogue mechanic to make sure it makes sense with the actual dialogue

so like. ok here's an example i just randomly pulled from the song of achilles (it was available on scribd so i just looked for a spot that worked to illustrate my point djsmsks)

the actual quote is written effectively, but here's a less effective version first:

“Perhaps I would, but I see no reason to kill him. He’s done nothing to me," Achilles answered coolly.

see and even with such a short snippet it's so much smoother and more vivid just by moving the dialogue tag, not adding or cutting a word:

“Perhaps I would, but I see no reason to kill him.” Achilles answered coolly. “He’s done nothing to me.”

the rhythm of it is better, and the beat that the dialogue tag creates functions as a natural dramatic pause before achilles delivers an incredibly poignant line, both within the immediate context of the scene and because we as the readers can recognize it as foreshadowing. plus, it flows smoothly because that beat was inserted where the dialogue already contained a natural pause, just bc that's how people speak. if you read both versions aloud, they both make sense, but the second version (the original used in the novel) accounts for the rhythm of dialogue, the way people tend to process information as they read, AND the greater context of the story, and as a result packs significantly more purpose, information, and effect into the same exact set of words

and THAT, folks, is the kind of editing minutia i can literally sit and hyperfocus on for hours without noticing. anyway it's a good book lmao

the one i'm reading now is a lot more about the cognitive process/es of editing, so there's less concrete and specific advice (so far, anyway) and more discussion about different mental approaches to editing, as well as tips and tools for making a firm distinction between your writer brain and your editor brain, which is something i struggle with

but there have been so many good quotes that ive highlighted! a lot of just like. reminders and things to think about, and also just lovely articulations of things id thought of or come to understand in much more vague ways.

scribd won't let me copy/paste this one bc it's a document copy and not an actual ebook, but this passage is talking about how the simple act of showing a piece of writing to someone else for the very first time can spark a sudden shift in perspective on the work, bc you'll (or at least i) frantically try to re-read it through their eyes and end up noticing a bunch of new errors -

or she talked about the perils of constant re-reading in the middle of writing a draft, which is something i struggle with a LOT, both bc i'm a perfectionist and bc i prefer editing to writing so i sit and edit when i'm procrastinating doing the actual hard work of writing lmao

it's just this side of fake deep tbh but i so rarely see editing discussed like this--as a mixture of art and science, a collaboration between instinct and technique, that really requires "both sides of the brain" to be done well.

and because of the way my own brain works, activities that require such a balanced concentration of creativity and logic really appeal to me. even though ive seen a lot of people (even professional writers) who frame it as the creative art of writing vs the logical discipline of editing. but i think that's such a misleading way of thinking about it, because writing and editing both require creativity and logic -- just different kinds! (not to mention that the line between writing and editing, while mostly clear, can get a little blurry from up close)

but like...all stories have an inner logic to them, even if the writer hasn't explicitly or consciously planned it, and even if the logic is faulty in places in the first couple of drafts. when you're sitting and daydreaming about your story, especially if you're trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between two points or scenes (or, how to write a sequence of events that presents as a logical, inevitable progression of cause and effect), the voice in your head that evaluates an idea and decides to 1) go with it, 2) scrap it, 3) tweak it until it works, or 4) hold onto it in case you want it later? that's your logic! if an idea feels wrong, or like it just doesn't work, it's probably because some part of you is detecting a conflict between some part of the idea and the overall logic of your story. every decision you make as you write is formed by and checked against your own experiential logic, and also by the internal logic of your story, which is far less developed (or at least, one would hope), and therefore more prone to the occasional laspe

but while ive seen a number of articles that discuss the logic of writing, i don't see people gushing as much about the art of editing and it's such a shame

the inner editor is so often characterized as the responsible parent to the writer's carefree child, or a relentless critic of the writer's unselfconscious, unpolished drivel

and it's like... maybe you just hate thinking critically about your work! maybe you view it that way because you're imposing external standards too fiercely onto your writing, and it's sucked the joy out of shaping and sculpting your words until they sing. maybe you prefer to conceive of your writing as divine communication, the process of which must remain unencumbered by lessons learned through experience or the vulnerability of self-reflection, until the buzzkill inner editor shows up with all those "rules" and "conventions" that only matter if you're trying to get published

and like obviously the market doesn't dictate which conventions are worth following, but the majority of widely-agreed-upon writing standards, especially those aimed at beginners, (and most especially those regarding style, as opposed to story structure) have to do with the effectiveness and efficiency of prose, and, in addition to often serving as a shorthand for distinguishing an amateur from a pro, overall help to increase poignancy and clarity, which is crucial no matter the genre or type of writing. and even if you personally believe otherwise, it's better to understand the conventions so you can break them with real purpose.

so editing shouldn't be about trying to shove your pristine artistic masterpiece into a conventional mold, it should be about using the creative instincts of your ear and your logic and experience-based understanding of writing as a craft to hone your words until you've told your story as effectively as possible

thank u for coming to my ted talk ✌️

#long post //#editing #wref #sefa rambles

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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Hey dude! Do you have any recommendations for LGBTQ+ movies in the romance genre that have like a happy ending. I really don't care how old they are. I'm feeling the Gay™ hence I need the Gay™. You feel me?

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NONNIE

First sorry for taking so long, not only did I have to timeline this :) but :) my computer :) froze :) after writing like :) 2 pages :) and I had to do it again :)

So anyway let it be said, the LGBT dialogue is one of osmosis and shared growth and awareness. Some of these films will be very poorly dated, but as you (thankfully) mentioned that them being old wasn’t a *problem*, expect a lot of old stuff. Because one of the most important things to have under your belt when talking about the LGBT media representation battle is the actual journey from A to B – be that incrementalization, subtextual inclusion, text-breeching features, outright evocative and groundbreaking films at the time (which is what MOST of this list will be) and an improvement in our dialogue; let us never forget that while tr*nss*xual is considered a slur and transgender is proper, tr*nss*xual was at one point the politically correct way to speak it – things like that breach in our growing understanding of the spectrum of human sexuality.

I *WILL* disclaimer these aren’t all romance, so if you explicitly want romance, google them and take a look if it sounds to appeal, but I’m taking this as a general cinema history plug considering what a confused mess fandom conversation about LGBT history in film or modern text as applicable, accepted or not.

Wonder Bar (1936) (I wouldn’t really call this queer cinema, but if you have the time to watch it too, I think it was the first explicit mention of homosexual engagement even if it was fleetingly brief. You might even call it Last Call style. A blink and you’ll miss it plug that was still decades ahead of its time)

Sylvia Scarlet (1936) (Again, I wouldn’t call this queer cinema, but a lot of the community takes it as the first potential trans representation on TV due to the lead literally swapping gender presentation, even if the presentation is… not what we would modernly call representation IMO)

Un Chant d'Amour (1950) (Worth it for the sheer fact that it pissed off fundies so bad they took it all the way to the US supreme court to get it declared obscene.)

The Children’s Hour (1961) (also known as the 1961 lesson to “don’t be a gossipy, outting bitch”)

Victim (1961) (The first english film to use the word “homosexual” and to focus explicitly on gay sexuality. People might look on it disdainfully from modern lenses, but it really helped progress british understanding of homosexuality)

Scorpio Rising (1964) (Lmao this one deadass got taken to court when it pissed people off and California had to rule that it didn’t count as obscene bc it had social value, worth it for the history if nothing else)

Theorem (1968) (Because who doesn’t wanna watch a 60s flick about a bisexual angel, modern issues and associations be damned)

The Killing of Sister George (1968) (by the makers of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane)

Midnight Cowboy (1969) (…have I had sassy contagonists in RP make a Dean joke off of this more than once, maybe)

Fellini-Satyricon (1969) (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS)

The Boys in the Band (1970) (This… this… this made a lot of fuss. Just remember leather)

Pink Narcissus (1971) (a labor of love shot on someone’s personal camera)

Death in Venice (1971) (This is basically a T&S prequel but whatever, based on a much older book)

Cabaret (1972)

Pink Flamingos (1972) (SHIT’S WILD)

The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant (1972) (The title doesn’t lie, be warned)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) [god I hope you’ve at least seen this]

Fox and His Friends (1975) (some really hard lessons that are still viable today, that just because someone acknowledges your sexuality doesn’t mean they give a shit about you as a person, and that some will even abuse the knowledge for gain)

The Terence Davies Trilogy (1983) (REALLY interesting history look it up, it’s sort of one of those “drawn from own experience” story short sets)

The Times of Harvey Milk (1984) (Documentary)

Desert Hearts (1985) (Pretty much the first film to put lesbianism into a good light as a true focus based on a novel from the sixties)

Parting Glances (1986) (the only film its creator got out before his death from the aids epidemic)

Law of Desire (1987) (two men and a trans woman in a love triangle, kinda ahead of its time)

Maurice (1987) (This one’s really interesting, cuz it was based on a book made about 15 years before it, but the book itself had been written half a century earlier and wasn’t published until after the guy died, he just thought it’d never get published Cuz Gay, so basically it’s based on a story written in like, the 20s finally getting screen time. It has a bittersweet but positive-leaning-ish ending without disregarding the cost that can come with it and even addresses class issues at the same time 100% DO RECOMMEND)

Tongues Untied (1989) (a documentary to give voices to LGBT black men)

Longtime Companion (1990) (This one’s title alone is history, based on a NYT phrasing for how they talked about people’s partners dying, eg longtime companion, during the AIDS epidemic)

Paris Is Burning (1990) (Drag culture and related sexual and gender identity exploration as it intersected with class issues and other privileges explored in a documentary)

The Crying Game (1992)( I should correct this that I guess it’s more, 1992 considered, “SURPRISE, DIL HAS A DILL!” – I guess I really didn’t do that summary justice by modern language and dialogue as much as how people in the 90s were talking about that and that’s a my bad. LIKE. SEE, EVEN I CAN FUCK UP MY LANGUAGE I’M SORRY CAN I BLAME THE STRAIGHTS T_T) #90skidproblems – I guess I should call it a trans film. And this alone tells me I should go watch it again to recode it in my brain modernly rather than like circa de la 2000 understanding.

The Bird Cage (1996) (So you mix drag culture, otherwise heterosexually connected lovebirds, and then realize the girl comes from an alt-rightish house and the guy comes from a Two Dads Home and does cabaret, how to deal with the issues OF this conflict when it’s between you and your happiness, even if the fight isn’t even your own as much as it is that of the person you love. The answer is PROBABLY NOT to dress in drag and pretend to be straight, but what are you going to do? – while played for laughs we’d consider modernly crude, the fact that they even dared to approach this narrative was pretty loud)

The Celluloid Closet (1996) (Ever heard of the Vito Russo test for LGBT representation? This is based on a book by Vito Russo.)

Happy Together (1997) (Ain’t this shit an ironic name; a mutual narrative, via chinese flick, of hong kong ceding to china and an irrevocably tangled MLM pairing as a giant mirrored metaphor)

Boys Don’t Cry (1999) (one of the most groundbreaking films about trans identity at the time)

Stranger Inside (2001) (As easy as it is to recoil to the idea of “black gays in jail”, the film makers actually went and consulted prisoners and put a great deal of focus into intersectional african american issues that really weren’t around even in straight films at the time)

Transamerica (2005) (While it made a bit of a fuss for not casting an actual trans actor, it was one of the first times a big budget studio really tried to tackle it which really pushed us forward)

Call Me by Your Name (2017) (since I’ve apparently leaned really heavy old cinema throw in a modern one lmaooooo)

Also honorable The Kids Are All Right (2010) mention for the sake of the fucking title alone.

And to any incarnation of “On the Road” by Kerouac, which

Was originally a book

Released a sanitized de-gayed edition because of the times

Later released the full homo manuscript

had a few film adaptations

Was one of Kripke’s founding inspirations for Supernatural once he left behind “Some reporter guy chases stories” and took the formula of Sal and Dean (and tbh later, Carlo) in a beat generation vibe gone modern as we know it today.

Reading both versions of this can actually help some folks currently understand that when you get confused over some shit (WHY IS CARLO SO UPSET? WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE AN UPSET GIRLFRIEND??? WHY IS HE SO JEALOUS AND SAD WHEN DEAN IS AROUND GIRLS???? WE JUST DONT KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW) it’s because some big money asshat bleached the content, and sometimes, it takes a while for the full script to come out and again, surprise, it’s been GAY, they just didn’t want to OFFEND anybody. *jazz hands*

Now if you wanna go WAY WAY BACK, during 191X years, a bunch of gender role flicks came out like Charley’s Aunt, Mabel’s Blunder and the Florida Enchantment.

Also where is @thecoffeebrain-blog to yell about the necessity of watching Oz, for the next few hours? But no, seriously, just look into the entire LGBT *HISTORY* of Oz.

Beyond that though I’m gonna stop here cuz hi that’s a lot. I really don’t know how much counts as “happy ending” but if I had to give an LGBT cinema rec list, that’s it as a sum. I don’t really have like, a big portfolio of UWU HAPPY ENDING GAYS because 1. there aren’t a lot of those but 2. to me, it’s not about the ending, it’s about the journey. Be that in flick or through culture and history itself.

If you want more happy ending stuff, you definitely have to look at 2010+, but it’s not like we’re in a rich and fertile landscape yet so honestly just googling that would probably serve you better since I don’t explicitly explore romance genre or happy endings to really have a collection. LGBT life is hard and film often reflects that if we’re making genuine statements about it and really representing it, and we’re just now getting to a point of reliably having the chance at a happy ending. That or maybe someone can add like “Explicit happy endings” lists after this that has more experience in that subgenre.

Also, I can’t emphasize ENOUGH to remember what was progressive then is not what is progressive now, and frankly, what some people think is progressive now they’ll probably look back on what they said and feel really fuckin’ embarrassed. See: “It’s not text because by alt right homophobic dialogue, M/M sex isn’t gay if you do the secret handshake” MGTOW kinda crazy ass dialogue or parallel narratives they inspire that encourage self-closeting and denial based on the pure idea that being gay makes you somehow lesser, so It’s Not That. Like. I am. 99% sure. At least half of the people talking in this fandom. Are going to regret that the internet is forever. And maybe hope hosting servers end in the inevitable nuclear war that will annihilate this planet.

Also, edit: Speaking of mistaken dialogues and words aging poorly, I’d like to apologize from the poor description I rendered “The Crying Game” with, but that really goes to show how deep-seated the issue is we can so casually fuck up identifying a trans narrative as SURPRISE DICK IS GAY when we were all absorbing the content like 20+ years ago and HOW HARD it can be to de-code yourself from that kind of programming because here I am, writing a giant assed rep post and fucking it up because my brain hadn’t soaked that movie since Y2K. Guess what, time for me to go watch the Crying Game again.

#lgbtqia #representation #media #cinema history

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atopearth · 4 years

Text

Pub Encounter Part 1 - Yorihisa Hodo Route

Okay, so I bought this on the Switch since I don’t think I have the guts to play this on Steam for the whole world to see LOLL. (However, apparently I have the guts to publish my thoughts on a blog post for the whole world to see anyway LOL) I’ve always been curious about this game because it features LIs on the older spectrum, maybe a bit too old for others, but I’m cool with it if they’re interesting! Typical start with Shiori going to a random pub and meeting a bunch of random old men who are regulars there. I’m following a guide on Steam, so I’m gonna go for Yorihisa first~ He seems to be the type that’s kinda flirty and open but keeps that as a facade? We shall see~ All the guys didn’t really appeal to me in the prologue haha. But! Yorihisa is Shiori’s favourite author and he’s a literature professor too! He sounds cool! Lol! It’s funny how Ryuunosuke seemed pretty cold initially, but when he started talking about Yorihisa’s books (that he enjoys), he actually smiled quite sweetly haha. Guess he’s the cold on the outside CEO that’s actually really nice type?

Shiori is so cute though. After talking to Yorihisa and them about her favourite book of his, she stayed up all night and read the book again loll. Gotta say, him gently touching her cheek and expressing concern over her dark circles was prettyyyy cute hahaha. It was really heartfelt when Shiori thanked him for writing these books, it really seemed like he appreciated how genuinely she loved his books. Hahaha omg, they’re really planning to play a game to see who falls in love with the other first? Guess Shiori is going to have to try really hard to win and get him to write another romance novel! Lmao when she said she’d turn him into a lovesick little puppy🤣 Honestly, with how bold Yorihisa is by holding her hand, kissing her forehead etc, I can’t find any hope in her winning considering how innocent she is LOL. Initially, it seemed so awkward for Mamoru and Hideaki to help teach her how to grab a guy’s heart, but I think Hideaki was just so cuteeee for hugging her in excitement when she was able to do what they taught her properly haha. LOL, she ended up failing as expected, but him warning her that the way she tried to seduce him felt like an invitation for sex and not “love” was good, she should be a bit more aware of how guys might react if she does all this touching and gazing into their eyes! It’s so normal for someone of his age to have had a wife, but it just completely flew over my head and I didn’t expect him to talk about a late wife who died a few years ago. I was so surprised at how forward Shiori became after seeing how sad he looked thinking about his wife, she literally brought him back home and was ready to give herself to him! I’m glad he didn’t take her up on the offer and only kissed and cuddled her to sleep. It’s pretty crazy how smitten she is with Yorihisa though lol. OMG, I guess I can say the same for Yorihisa, he’s definitely smitten with her, like dang. It was so hot when she asked him how you’re supposed to drink Nikolaschka (his favourite drink), so he got Hideaki to demonstrate that you kinda mix the lemon, coffee and sugar in your mouth and then drink the liquor in the cup in one shot, which sounds very fascinating tbh. But omggg when he asked her if she still wanted to try it, and when she said yes, he literally put the drink in his mouth and then kissed her and gave her the drink that way omggg LOL, I feel sorry for the clueless LI guys watching that on the side hahaha. I guess he was kinda jealous of how Hideaki and them were talking about how they taught Shiori how to seduce a guy and she tried it on them loll.

I love Hideaki, he’s like a Dad, caring about her and watching out for her so she doesn’t get taken advantage of. Ryuunosuke on the other hand cares in a different way though, he acknowledges that she’s an adult but made sure to ask Soichiro about what happened and why he didn’t stop it haha. Love that even though it was done kinda in a teasing way, Yorihisa still made sure to ask for consent before doing anything. Oh wow, I didn’t expect him to have lost both his daughter and wife to illness. It’s kinda saddening and yet sweet that his wife bought him a cat (similar to the one they previously bought for their daughter) before she died. It was so nice to see how they were starting such a normal couple life with her cooking him food and making a bath for him etc, it was quite cute. Only problem is, for some reason he’s ghosted her for a month! I can see why she would cry at the pub with Soichiro over that, I mean, it seemed like her feelings finally got across to him and he was reciprocating, and yet now he’s just…gone. Okay, that was so hurtful and uncalled for! First, he avoids her, and then says it was all a game etc and then spites her by giving her a kiss like she “wants”. It seems like he’s afraid that being with her any longer would make him really fall for her and he thinks that would mean he’s forgetting about the family he once had. It’s an understandable thing to go through I admit, I mean, he probably feels really unfaithful and terrible towards his late family for thinking that he can enjoy such happiness without them BUT, he was still pretty slack to Shiori though, she’s just earnestly trying her best to be with the man she loves. Well, they made up fast! I’m glad Ryuunosuke confronted Yorihisa though, he was so cool! I’m just glad to see how unrelenting Shiori is though lol, but I guess that’s something she’ll need if she’s going to chase after Yorihisa, since he likes to run away lol. Honestly, it seems like Yorihisa probably spent that month writing his new book to be like a confession to her or something. So I guess he’s gonna surprise her~

I thought he would chase after her and say that initially, she was a replacement for his wife, but not now, not anymore, but he just let her assume that was it! That was honestly heartbreaking to hear for her, here is Shiori laying her whole heart out to him, telling him that she loves him and doesn’t care about the game anymore, and he can’t give her any words of reassurance? Even if his novel is a confession to her, I’d still be annoyed. You can’t just leave her and hurt her like that! Sigh. Well, that was a rollercoaster of a ride, he can really be so cold and warm at the same time lol. I didn’t expect him to publicly dedicate the book to her, that was nice. But I think I liked the good ending more, just because I thought it was really sweet when she said “I’m home” to her empty house, and he said welcome home to her walking in behind her. I think it’s always nice to hear that from another person.

Overall, Yorihisa was a playful guy, but maybe a bit too playful and hurt from his past so he hurts Shiori a lot by not communicating better with her. He hides good things and bad things alike so I feel sorry for her. She’s always so upfront and honest about her feelings and she tries her best to communicate that, but he always backs away. Until the end anyway, kinda!? At least in the end, he can finally frankly tell her his feelings and his thoughts, so I guess that was nice. He’s quite a frustrating guy, and he definitely has Shiori in the palm of his hands, so I guess it was pretty frustrating to see her so easily allow herself be so vulnerable and reliant on his manipulative ways? Loll. But yeah, it was cute sometimes, but otherwise, their relationship is so unbalanced.. Not sure why she had to quit her job in the sequel when we don’t even know much about her job in the main route but okay loll. The date was a nice sweet little addition to the story~ but yeah, as a whole, I couldn’t take Yorihisa for always hurting Shiori and yet never apologising for his actions.

#pub encounter

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nish-s-random-writing · 5 years

Text

Growing Up (4/?)

Chapter 4! USUK Cardverse AU!

(a/n): This just in: 3000+ words of fluff and some angst. I’m going for a one-update-a-week schedule, so let’s see if I can keep it up. ;) Enjoy!

ff.net || <<ch 3 ch5>>

Chapter 4

“The archers,” Arthur breathes.

The way he stares and holds his breath as he looks up at the skilled bowmen is evidence of how wondrous they seemed to the young queen in that moment. “I want to be like the archers,” he said again, and slowly took another breath.

Elizabeta, the captain of the guard, smiled at him endearingly while the young king beamed like the endless light of the sun.

“That’s so cool! I can totally see you being an archer, Arthur. You’re so tall and your arms are so long you could handle that bow like nobody’s business.” When Alfred raised his arms in one of his enthusiastic gestures, Arthur was tugged along and a flush came to his face—perhaps at the complement, or the realization that his hand was still being held securely in the younger boy’s own throughout the whole walk to the center of the training ground where they now stood.

The soldiers moving about them gave them a sizable berth, but the curious looks they chanced over their shoulders was not lost on Arthur, making the boy a little more squeamish than he’d like to be. But when he watched the archers, so intently focused on their targets, their entire bodies poised so pristinely and calmly, yet filled with the strength and power of a drawn bow, Arthur couldn’t look away. He’d like to feel that sort of power, that sort of poise and calmness. Wielding a bow seemed like mastery and control, and Arthur found that immensely appealing.

He turned to Elizabeta in a rush. “When can I start?”

The tall woman laughed and set a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “In time, dear boy. We’d have to have a smaller bow crafter for you if you’d like to start in the next month, for I doubt you’d be able to carry a bow larger than your own body.”

“Arthur can do it!” Alfred piped up. “He’s super strong, you see. He threw an apple once and it hit me in the head from all across the lawn in the orphanage! I think he was aiming for the basket next to me though, but he can work on his aim!”

“I was aiming for your head,” said Arthur.

“Oh. But see? He’d already make a great archer!”

Elizabeta laughed and Arthur shook his head. “What are you going to do, Alfred?” asked the older boy.

Alfred’s eyes sparkled, then he turned to the side and pointed to the greater mass of soldiers who were sparring with gleaming blades of steel, sweating in the sun and letting out great laughs and yells.

“I want to fight with a sword!” The cheery boy exclaimed.

“Hmm, messy and impulsive. Just like you, Alfred.”

Alfred snorted, but his disbelieving look disappeared when he saw the small smile Arthur sported. He spoke just like he would back in the orphanage. Biting and a bit mean—but hey, that meant he was getting back into himself!

Alfred smiled wider.

He began to talk about how he would fight with a sword as they followed Elizabeta through the field. He talked about how he’d lead the ranks into war one day and obliterate the enemy with his sheer skill. He alone would crumble the enemy’s palace with his strength and his sword. All the while, Arthur rolled his eyes and made biting remarks of how unrealistic and stupid he sounded. But the longer the insults Arthur shot, the happier Alfred seemed to get.

“And you know, because I’m going to grow up to be the superest, strongest hero, I’m going to be your protector!”

“Firstly, superest isn’t a word. And second, that’s already in your job description as king.” Arthur huffed, but Alfred just grinned cheekily.

“Yeah, well even if it wasn’t I’ll still make it my sworn duty to protect you at all costs!”

Arthur looked surprised. He didn’t say anything, but made a half-hearted attempt to roll his eyes. Alfred didn’t know what that look meant, but he knew that he meant every word of what he’d said. Well, alright, he wasn’t exactly sure he could break down concrete walls with his sword, but he was definitely going to be the strongest hero so he could be Arthur’s hero. From now on, it was his actual sworn duty to protect Arthur, and he’d stay true to that.

------------------- - - -

After their walk with Elizabeta, the very worn-looking Yao took them back into the palace to explore the inner walls. Alfred had spotted him being spoken to by what seemed to be a palace official when they were returning from the field. The expressions on their faces were anything but cheery and prideful. Almost… fearful, actually.

“You don’t think something’s wrong, do you?” Arthur had asked. Alfred shrugged in response and shared a worried look with the older boy.

As they walked the well-lit and decorated halls of the castle, Arthur quietly asked Yao what that talk was about, if it was something dangerous.

The Jack only laughed and shook his head. “Nothing serious, my boy. A few financial worries—stock market and employment rate—all that boring math stuff you kids shouldn’t worry about. We’ll be fine.”

“I like math!” Alfred said. “Can I help?”

The Jack laughed again, a little less forced, a little less strained. “This is grown-up math, Alfred. Even I kind of don’t get it. Hey, let’s quit talking about boring math and get to looking around, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Alfred cheered. Arthur remained quiet.

They walked through the palace seeing it in better light than before. They explored room after room filled with paintings and rich-looking junk. Old furniture glazed with gold, tapestries depicting battles and past monarchy. Some rooms were bed rooms, some were sitting rooms, some were locked and Yao refused Alfred’s pleas to find their keys.

Yao spun the stories of the great battles depicted in the large paintings that hung along the hall. There were battles for land, for power, for the right to rule their own people. In the old days, the Four Kingdoms fought for dominion of the land, the borders constantly shifting, growing, and shrinking. And then two great wars broke out, one after the other. The Red Kingdom of Hearts was blamed for multiple atrocities, but with their allies turning against them, and with Spades leading the offensive, the country fell into defeat and tremendous debt.

When that debt was repaid and the country forgiven, nearly a hundred years passed, peace ruled over the land for a hundred years more.

“Do you think another war will break out soon?” Arthur asked. When Yao didn’t respond immediately, he went on. “Do you think… we’ll have to lead the fight?”

“Heavens no!” The Jack jumped. “Of course you’re too young to be involved in a war, much less lead it. O-of course, there is no war, Arthur. There will be no war. We live in peace now. We have secure trade and diplomacy arrangements with the other kingdoms, and if a fifth one shall sprout up and threaten us then the other three colors are our allies.” Yao smiled reassuringly but shaky, and Arthur lowered his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry. You’ve probably been very stressed lately. I didn’t mean to burden you with… stupid questions.” Arthur grew quieter as he spoke, and all but mumbled the last couple of words.

Yao’s eyes softened and he placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “No, Arthur, it’s alright. Your questions are not stupid. I did say I’d answer any question you’ve got as long as I have an answer.”

Arthur nodded, but he was quiet for the short rest of the walk. Alfred’s jokes and attempts to coax him back into his biting demeanor did nothing to change the way Arthur lowered his head and kept as still as possible.

Eventually the royal trio wound up at the large pair of doors that lead into the vast library. Yao paused there, then yawned loudly.

“It seems to be an hour before lunchtime,” He remarked, flipping open a pocket watch he drew from his suit. “Please, explore the palace at your own leisure. I’m going to have a nap and I’ll see you both at lunchtime, if that’s alright with you?”

“Of course,” said Arthur.

“Yeah!” Said Alfred.

With a polite farewell, Yao walked back down the hall and disappeared behind the corner.

Alfred turned to his companion and beamed up at him. “Wanna go exploring?” He giggled.

Arthur rolled his eyes for the nth time that day and turned to push open the heavy oaken doors. “No. I am going to be in here, if Yao asks for me. There’s been a good bunch of novels I’ve been wanting to read so you can go bugger off somewhere else.”

Instead of buggering off like Arthur had quite roughly insisted, Alfred followed Arthur inside the library. He whistled lowly at the vast walls of books and polished marble tables. Sunlight flooded the room from floor-to-ceiling windows that lined one wall, illuminating the tremendously large hall in all its glory.

Arthur briskly ran to one of the closer shelves and selected three books that looked like concrete blocks to Alfred. He probably would’ve used them as weapons instead of reading material.

When Arthur plopped down at one of the tables and opened a book, Alfred attempted to peer into what he was reading but quickly found the giant block of tiny text to be terribly uninteresting and hopped away.

“Hey, hey, Arthur.” He nudged at the older boy, repeatedly trying to get his attention. But when Arthur growled out a low threat to leave him be, and perhaps made a gesture of throwing the boulder of writing at Alfred, he huffily left the room in search of something more interesting to enjoy. He really would rather have Arthur with him, but if he sat there to keep the older boy company, he knew he’d grow so bored he would begin to annoy him again, which might lose him the friendship points he’d gained from their earlier ventures.

Besides, Arthur really did feel like he wanted to be left alone.

So he walked the halls and looked back at the tapestries, deciding that he’d want to get more and more lost. He climbed carpeted stairs and walked deeper into the palace until he saw no windows and the passages were lit with candlelight.

He saw paintings of people he didn’t recognize, and peered into keyholes of locked rooms only to find silhouettes of dusty furniture.

Eventually, the boy began seeing windows again, that looked out into the greener part of the grounds that Alfred didn’t recognize. He must have ventured around the very far back of the palace by now.

The windows began to become covered with lush green ivy, as well as the vines that grew the tiny, blue spadian flowers. Eventually, Alfred was led to a meek wooden door, and out he went into the sunlight.

He seemed to have been led into a garden of sorts. The grass was trimmed here, and all around were neatly cut hedges, stone pillars where more of the spadian vines grew, marble benches, and blue stone pathways. The area was quite large, but bordered by a familiar stone wall on all sides. To the far right, behind all the greenery, Alfred could see a closed iron gate that seemed to lead out into the rest of the gardens.

Then, Alfred heard the snipping.

Up ahead, the columns supported a stone roof where all over grew vines and ivy and all sorts of flowers that created a roof of greenery. Alfred walked beneath the leaves, and there he found an old man wearing a worn old shirt and raggedy old trousers, leaning on his haunches with a pair of large shears, sniping away at stray weeds on the ground. He noticed that the areas that would normally be filled with an array of plant life was bare, only the green grass to cover them up, and they looked quite recently covered up too. The grass was sparse and the earth wasn’t even. Alfred didn’t know much about gardens but he was certain gardens were to supposed to have flowers. To him, it simply felt like something was missing. Everything was simply too bare.

Alfred turned to the man working on the weeds and saw that he’d now stopped. He was staring back up at him, with eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Wh-who are you?” The man said in a shaky, bewildered voice. Then, suddenly, his brows furrowed and with great difficulty, he rose up with hands on his knees, shaking the shears threateningly. “Are you a little thief, eh? Are you one of em’ hoodlums that keep breaking into my shed an’ stealing me shovels? Well I’ll have you know that I can get you arrested! I’ll be calling on ‘em guards!”

“No, wait!” Alfred exclaimed. He stepped back and raised his hands in surprise and a little fear. “My name is Alfred!”

“I don’t care what your name is, ya little—” The man’s garbled voice stuttered to a halt when his eyes fell upon Alfred’s raised palm.

After a long moment of intense staring, the man turned his crusty eyes to meet a pair of fearful bright blue ones. “Yo… you’re the king,” he mumbled in disbelief, definitely in shock at the tattoo that sprawled all over the young boy’s arm. Then, with a great start, exclaimed, “You’re the king!”

He dropped his shears and hobbled to his knees, bowing his head as low as it would go, shaking in slight fear. “For-forgive me, yer majesty. I was-was as an ignorant fool, is all. Please seek fit to punish me in any way you see, but please spare me my job, this is all I have.”

He was shaky and sounded close to sobbing. The small bit of pride Alfred felt at being recognized as king was quickly replaced by a sort of panicked horror at making a poor old man become so fearful as to beg at his knees.

Feeling like his heart was being wrenched out of his chest, Alfred let out a hurried yelp. “No, please! Don’t do that! I won’t hurt you, I promise. I’m not a mean king—I wasn’t going to steal anything. I just wanted to become friends. Please stop bowing, um, old man.”

Cautiously, the old man lifted his head and straightened his back—well, as straight as it would go given the hunch he seemed to have. He stared at Alfred with a hint of fearful reservation and nodded.

“What does me king ask of me?” He said carefully, blinking every now and then at the blue tattoo as if waking from a dream.

“Hey, call me Alfred,” the boy said, trying for a smile. He put out his hand for a shake, and the old man stared, once more fearful, at the vines that grew all over it. Seeing this, Alfred began to talk. “I know you think because I’m the king and all that I’ll be like one of the snooty, snobby rich kids that parade around the streets in their carriages sometimes, but I promise I’m really nice! I just want to make friends. I don’t really wanna order anyone around ‘cause that feels really weird. Just, don’t be afraid of me, okay? I don’t think I have the power to take away your job anyway.”

With look of even more disbelief, the old man let out a shaky laugh. “Ha! Well, thy majesty has the power to take away any one of ours jobs. And a king like yourself would likely be demandin’ some respect.”

“That would be rude,” said Alfred. “And I don’t want to do that. And hey, if someone’s not slapping me in the face I think that’s respect enough. So will you shake my hand so I can know if we’re friends yet?”

The old man let out another hearty giggle, and with a half-toothless smile shook the small boy’s hand. “Friends, eh? No king’s ever wanted to be friends with no common folk. I been serving three kings in my whole lifetime including you, and neither of the two’s been very kind to folks like us. The nicest they get is when they ain’t speaking to us.” He let out another laugh. “You best keep that attitude as yer growin’ up, eh boy? The kingdom needs it. I certainly hope you don’t get all spoiled by the fancy riches that they give ya in there.” He nodded up towards the palace, and Alfred turned to look.

He looked back at the old man with a smile full of pride, and declared, “No, I won’t turn all stupid. That’s a promise! Only stupid people would take away someone else’s job just for being yelled at.”

The old man laughed again, but this time he was cut off by a bout of loud, watery coughing.

“Are you okay?” Alfred asked as soon as the fit was over. The old man got up with a shaky smile.

“Indeed I am, your majesty. Just caught a bit of a lousy cold. Should be fine in a couple of weeks.”

He picked up his shears and resumed cutting off weeds in the grass. “So, what does my majesty come to ask of me?”

“Honestly, I didn’t even know you were here,” said Alfred. He took a seat cross-legged on the ground and watched the man work. “So you’re a gardener? Do you only watch this place? And where are all the flowers?”

The man shook his head with a fond smile. “I don’t believe myself to keep up with all your highness’s questions, but I’ll try me best. Let’s see, I am a gardener, and I watch this plot of land here. This is the King and Queen’s private garden, you know. They tell me what to put in here and I do it. At first it was just the queen, he was very kind. His wife? Not so much. They got all sorts of lilies put in here.

“The next set of royals had only recently discovered the place. King Ram, now, he was an imposin’ figure, and a great leader, but he didn’t take as kindly to lowly gardeners like meself as much as the queen. The two talked a great deal about adding lights an’ fountains an’ a waterfall, an’ a whole bunch of expensive flowers brought in from the east. The land over here was bein’ plowed up, you see?”

“So what happened?” Asked Alfred. “Where’s all the flowers? And the fountain?”

“Well, them majesties were killed,” The gardener shrugged. “The Jack had us cease all the work an’ return all the land back, an’ with no orders I can’t plant anything. It’s turned into more of a lawn, really. He was practically raised by the king and queen, you see. He was just a bit over your age, I believe, when he came here, orphaned, and became jack. Probably couldn’t bear to see the garden of the people who’d never see it. But hey! This is your garden now, and you can have whatever you want planted here.”

“Woah,” Alfred gaped. “Anything?”

“Yes sir, anything.” The old man chuckled. “Anythin’ you an’ your queen desire. Speakin’ of which, where is your queen? Are they as young as you?”

“Oh, Arthur’s in the library. He’s kind of a grouch and a bit older, and he kind of hates me.” Alfred shrugged. “It think if I were to get something planted here, I’d have Arthur’s favorite flowers.”

A gleam of amusement came into the gardener’s eyes. He hefted up his shears and faced the young king on his haunches. “And what, exactly, are the queen’s favorite flowers?”

#usuk #fanfiction #aph america #aph england #usukus #ukus #cardverse #usuk fanfic #aph fanfiction #hetalia #usuk fanfiction #fanfic #cardverse au #usuk cardverse #alfred f. jones #arthur kirkland #my writing

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dragon-temeraire · 6 years

Text

A perplexment, indeed

Summary: Stiles uses a bunch of old-timey euphemisms to tell Derek he’s gay, but Derek doesn’t get it. Until he does.

Notes: I saw this list of code words for ‘gay’ in old films, and I immediately imagined Stiles using them to confuse people. Which led to this little fic! It’s a complete AU, Stiles and Derek have never met. (On AO3)

Stiles has resigned himself to being something of an oddity. He rents a house on the edge of town, all alone (because the only guys he knows who are gay or bi are also not interested), and is only seen once a week, when he visits his dad and gets groceries. And sometimes, if there’s not much he plans to buy, he just walks. Which, in a town like Beacon Hills, which has no public transportation, is seen as very strange.

But Stiles likes it because it gives him a lot of time to think, sometimes about whatever novel he’s writing, and sometimes about more banal personal matters.

And it’s on such a walk, nearly home, when he meets the hottest guy he’s ever seen. With his luck, he’s also wearing a dumb shirt and carrying a grocery bag that appears to be filled solely with brightly-colored children’s cereal. It’s great.

They sort of awkwardly pause facing one another on the narrow sidewalk, and Stiles watches the guy’s gaze jump from his shirt to his bag, and then back.

“Uh,” he says. “Is that the name of a band?”

“An Evening Botanist?” Stiles says, plucking at the hem of said shirt. “No, it’s more of a personal statement.”

“Oh,” the guy says, though he clearly doesn’t get it.

He does, however, step into the grass to let Stiles by. As he walks past, he sees the guy’s head turn to read the back of the shirt, which says A Perplexment.

“A what?” he hears the guy say, and tries hard not to laugh. He manages to make to his front door before he can’t hold it in anymore, but by then they guy is long gone.

He sees the hot guy again the next week, while carrying a grocery bag full of fresh vegetables this time (he’d felt a little ashamed, okay?), and the potted succulent his dad is somehow killing. Stiles his hoping to save its little plant life.

“Hey,” hot guy says. “Still a, um, botanist?” He looks pointedly at the succulent.

“Well, yeah. But today I’m thinking of myself more as a sunset lover,” Stiles says, waving his free hand grandly. “An aesthete, if you will.”

“I won’t,” Derek says, then looks surprised when Stiles laughs.

“I’m Stiles, the town eccentric,” Stiles says brightly.

Hot guy raises his eyebrows, smirks a little. “You trying to take that title from me, then?” he asks. “I’m Derek Hale.”

At first Stiles doesn’t get it, but then the name clicks into place, and— “You’re the guy who had that giant octopus statue in his front yard!”

“It was a squid sculpture,” Derek corrects, but he’s smiling. “And it was at my parent’s house.”

“And you installed those glow-in-the-dark frogs in the square, right?” Stiles asks eagerly. “I’m a big fan of your work.” He’d seen Derek Hale’s (smaller, earlier) pieces at the local art museum every now and then, but he’d have never guessed he was someone close to his own age.

Also, Stiles is pretty sure Derek’s perfect facial hair is in itself a work of art. He’s maybe a little enthralled.

Derek ducks his head. “Thanks,” he says awkwardly. “I just try to have fun.”

He steps aside into the grass, and Stiles takes that as his cue. “See you,” he says, and slowly finishes his short walk home.

He grins the whole way.

Another week passes, and finds Stiles lugging a heavy grocery bag on each shoulder. Normally he’d drive if he was planning to buy this much, but he didn’t want to miss his chance to talk to Derek. Their conversations are becoming the highlight of his week.

And he might have spent half the night researching and watching old movies so he could be ready.

Sure enough, Derek appears as he rounds the corner, already smiling a little. “What are you today?” he asks.

“I’d say I’m built on an uncertain foundation,” Stiles says, grinning. “Or maybe I’m a son of the moon.”

“I think you’re getting weirder,” Derek says, but he’s laughing, so Stiles doesn’t mind.

“You’re not wrong,” Stiles says, then grimaces and shifts the weight of his shopping bags. His shoulders are beginning to ache, and he’s disappointed he’ll have to cut their conversation short.

“Do you want some help?” Derek asks.

“Um, sure,” Stiles says, a little surprised. “It’s only a few more blocks.”

Derek takes one of the bags and hefts it with ease, and Stiles gets a lovely glimpse of his bicep flexing. He stands there for a moment, eyeing Stiles, then takes the other bag too.

“Hey, I can carry it,” Stiles huffs, but he gives himself away when he stretches his arms and rolls his shoulders happily.

“You carried it most of the way,” Derek says easily, already heading down the sidewalk. “Let me take it.”

Stiles can’t find it in himself to object, especially not when he’s getting a chance to admire Derek’s strength. Either sculping is a good workout, or Derek also spends a lot of time at the gym.

“So,” he asks, because he can’t stay quiet for long. “What brings you out on these walks?” As soon as he asks he feels like an idiot. Derek probably walks just because he likes to.

But Derek just shoots him another smile and says, “I’m looking for inspiration, usually.”

“Do you find any?” Stiles asks distractedly, directing Derek to turn onto his street.

“Not that often,” Derek says, shrugging. “But I think maybe that’s changing.”

“That’s awesome!” Stiles says brightly, bumping Derek’s shoulder with his fist. “I love your work, I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”

“Thanks,” Derek says gruffly, but Stiles doesn’t miss his blush.

It’s adorable.

Stiles beginning to feel disappointed, because he’s almost home and there’s no Derek in sight. But then he spots Derek emerging from the forest that backs Stiles’ dead-end street, and heaves a sigh of relief. He’s slightly rumpled in an appealing way, and the way he smiles when he spots Stiles makes his heart lurch.

“I throw a party with an open guest list,” he says once Derek is close enough, not bothering with the usual pleasantries. “I salute another flag,” he adds with a wink.

“I, um, I looked up what you’ve been saying, and I get it. I’m a, uh, keen-eyed birdwatcher,” Derek says awkwardly. “I’m a skillful mountain climber.”

“Really the outdoorsy type, huh?” Stiles says teasingly, raising his eyebrows. “You might have a silk bathrobe, but are you actually interested?” He fights to keep his tone casual. “In a date with me?”

“I was going to ask,” Derek says nervously, “if you wanted to come over and see some of my art. And I can cook us dinner. Well, I can only make pasta,” he adds with a shrug. “So, if that’s not—”

“Pasta sounds great! Just let me put these groceries away,” Stiles says quickly, holding up the bag, “and then we can go. But first, I think you should kiss me, you jackdaw.”

“Better than upside-down chimney sweep,” Derek mutters, and then he does kiss him.

It’s so good that every other ridiculous euphemism goes right out of Stiles’ head. But that’s okay; he’s pretty sure he doesn’t need them anymore.

#sterek #eternalsterek #just some silliness #humor #fluff #artist derek #writer stiles #my fic

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dorkcresswxll · 6 years

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i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

#( ooc.)

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syrren · 7 years

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Dear Evan Hansen X Yuri on Ice AU (see my other musical AUs)

So this has been swirling around in my head for ages (inspired in part by one of @zephyrine-gale‘s posts), and I have too many HCs to list, but featuring:

Yuuri as Evan Hansen

Victor as Connor Murphy

Yurio as Zoe Murphy

Phichit as Jared Kleinman

Minako as Heidi Hansen

Yakov and Lilia as Larry and Cynthia Murphy

See under the cut for headcanons about this AU (warning for long post)

Minako (Heidi Hansen) is a ballet dancer, but that means she’s always on trips, rarely home, and doesn’t bring much money home. Tries her best, and introduces Yuuri to ballet and eventually skating to deal with his anxiety along with his letters.

Yuuri (Evan Hansen) has his canon-typical anxiety, and no friends aside from the “family friend”, Phichit Chulanont. Honestly he and canon-Evan are basically the same, except instead of a closet tree nerd, Yuuri is a closet ice skating nerd who is actually really good at skating...he’s just never been able to skate in front of other people without his anxiety getting in the way and completely screwing him up.

Minako is childhood friends with the owner of the local rink (Hiroko Katsuki), so she gives Yuuri a set of keys to the rink and he goes at random hours of the morning/night when no one else is there so he can skate alone.

Skating usually clears his mind and helps him relax, but one day, he’s just skating and thinking and skating and thinking and skating and thinking and in the middle of a jump, he’s thinking and he thinks: “what if I just...didn’t land right, and never got up again, wouldn’t everyone be better off? would someone come to get me? To help me? What if I―”

So he falls “on accident” and lays there dazed from his concussion and in pain from his broken arm and fantasizes about someone coming to help him for hours and hours until Hiroko comes in to open the rink in the morning and freaks out because he’s still lying on the ice, cold and alone, because when you’re falling in a forest an ice rink and nobody’s around, do you ever even crash, or even make a sound?

And of course he writes letters to himself on the advice of his therapist (Celestino, probably?), and they still come into play, but first:

Victor (Connor Murphy) used to be the perfect student™ that everyone knew but never really knew. He used to get perfect grades and won all the academic competitions and figure skating competitions, but he never saw any point in all of it. Despite everything, he was never very close with his parents or his peers, and felt stagnant in everything from his grades to his competitions to, eventually, his personal hobby, ice skating.

So once high school hit and even ice skating lost its appeal, he started dropping off the map and doing drugs and skipping school so by the time he commits suicide no one really knows him anymore and like typical high schoolers, no one really cares either (until the Victor Project of course).

The day he first talks to Yuuri in the computer lab isn’t the first time he’s seen him, but lord knows if Victor is ever going to admit that he broke into the local ice skating rink one day last summer and saw the most marvelous skater already there, skating his heart out to heartbreaking music. (He was skating to Waving Through a Window, and that song+Yuuri’s skating just about kills Victor but tbh who wouldn’t it kill).

Near the end of the routine, the skater is on his final jump when suddenly he falls apart mid-jump, his limbs coming apart and going limp like he’s just...given up. Victor watches in silent horror as he crashes into the side of the rink, arm and head-first, slides a few feet on the ice, and goes still.

Victor wants to help, but he panics and doesn’t know what to do (you know since he’s there illegally in the first place and being super stalkerish besides) so he just stays awkwardly until he sees Yuuri open his eyes, then leaves figuring that Yuuri can probably call someone to come help him.

So when he sees Yuuri in the hallway that first day, he panics and lashes out because he’s afraid that Yuuri knows he was there and didn’t help and hates him. In the computer lab, later, he decides to approach Yuuri a little more calmly with a VERY SUBTLE “So...how’d you break your arm?” (Nice going Nikiforov, very smooth, very subtle) and offers to sign his cast. Nevermind the stinging guilt when Victor hears that no one ended up coming to help Yuuri, and isn’t that just the saddest fucking thing he’s ever heard. It all goes swimmingly until he reads Yuuri’s letter.

Because you see, Yuuri has been wanting to talk to Yurio, Victor’s little brother for a very long time. Yurio is famous for being in the jazz band a very skilled figure skater, and Yuuri admires that even though he’s never actually talked to him. He had been inspired to start skating by a certain local figure skater a long time ago, after all, and since he never learned the skater’s name, he just assumed that it was Yurio, the only real publicly prominent figure skater in the area (Hint hint, it wasn’t Yurio).

Yuuri doesn’t have a crush on Yurio, but he wants to be his friend, and writes about him (in place of Zoe) in his letter.

And this piece of “mockery” combined with panic about Yuuri knowing combined with hopelessness because “Oh, he likes Yurio, not me.” is the last thing to tip Victor over the edge, and he leaves, the letter still in his pocket to...well, you know, to do what canon-Connor does at this point. He comes back as our resident dead gay son tho its ok

Yurio (Zoe Murphy) is Victor’s little brother, the self-proclaimed better skater/son, and he’s always resented Victor for being seemingly perfect and then throwing it all away. Yakov and Lilia (Larry and Cynthia Murphy) had always compared him to Victor, and Yurio feels Victor’s influence looming over him even in death.

When Victor had been perfect, everyone told Yurio that he needed to “be more like his older brother,” but when Victor started crashing and burning, Yurio suddenly needed to “be better than his older brother” and he’s just so sick of being defined by his older brother that Victor’s suicide makes him even more bitter, because now he will never be able to surpass him and shed the shadow he left over his life. (Insert Requiem here) or as i like to call it in this AU, the “Victor Nikiforov is Dead” song.

So, when Yuuri comes out proclaiming that he was Victor’s best friend, Yurio is very very skeptical. Until it turns out that he knows Victor used to skate and he starts talking about an unmistakably real time they went skating together and Yuuri broke his arm trying a difficult jump, but Victor came to help him up (For Forever).

And when Yurio, who has never been very close with his brother, but has always secretly wanted to be, asks Yuuri about why Victor would have written about him in his suicide note, Yuuri word-vomits everything he’s ever admired about Yurio’s (and by proxy, Victor’s) skating. (If I Could Tell Him).

The two of them end up bonding (platonically) and go skating together a lot because I’m a sucker for happy friendship.

Whenever he gets bored, Yurio scribbles stars cats on the cuffs of his jeans

Yuuri bonds with Yakov over skating, because Yuuri has never had a mentor for his skating (Minako helps, but she’s a ballet dancer, she doesn’t really understand). Yakov teaches Yuuri how “To Break in Skates” with a pair of old skates that he bought for Victor after Victor started drifting away (he doesn’t know that Victor never stopped skating).

Phichit (Jared Kleinman) and Yuuri used to be super close as kids, but their friendship kinda fell apart when Phichit started getting more social and Yuuri’s anxiety got in the way of any and all attempts at joining him and his friends.

Phichit gets enlisted to help write the emails and channels every shipping bone in his body into writing the gayest emails in existence, full of bad puns and as much sexual tension as Yuuri will allow him to slip in.

Yuuri also gets very attached to Victor while he’s “researching” for his faked emails. He finds a bunch of old videos of Victor in local skating competitions before he dropped off the map and falls in love with his skating all over again, realizing that Victor is the skater that inspired him to start figure skating, which leads him to base a lot of their “friendship” around skating.

Alright this is becoming a small novel, so I’m going to cut it there, but I have a bunch of sketches that aren’t finished yet, so definitely expect more from me on this AU!

Please PM me if you have any ideas for who should be Alana or if you just want to talk about DEH/YOI in general, I’d love to hear what you think!

#myart #yoi #deh #yurionice #dearevanhansen #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #musical #musicalAU #Yuri on ice au #yuri plisetsky #evan hansen #connor murphy #zoe murphy #jared kleinman #phichit chulanont #yoi au #deh au #broadway

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bronzeflower · 7 years

Text

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 9: A Suit And Also Something About The Future

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose

TG: rose lalonde

TG: rose insert middle name here lalonde

TG: what is your middle name anyway

TG: i dont think ive ever learned it

TG: do you even have a middle name

TG: did you ever just make up a middle name for yourself

TG: like every time someone asked about it you just threw a random name that could possibly be your middle name at them

TG: one person asks and youre like yeah of fucking course i have a middle name its alexandria

TG: but then a completely different person asks and your middle name is suddenly irene

TG: or are you one of those people with like a bazillion different middle names

TG: rose

TG: answer me

TG: i know youre not idle because it hasnt given me that message that youre idle

TG: rooosse

TT: I do have a middle name.

TT: It’s Violet.

TG: what really

TT: Yes.

TT: Why were you being so persistent in attempting to contact me anyway?

TG: did kanaya tell you that i needed to be at rosemary today at two

TT: Yes, she did.

TT: …

TT: Oh.

TG: yeah

TG: i would have gone by myself but i had a feeling you would want to go see kanaya again

TT: I appreciate your consideration.

TT: Should I come pick you up or would you rather us meet up at the store?

TG: you should come pick me up

TG: its ten times easier than trying to get to the store at the same time

TT: Will do.

TT: I’ll be there soon.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You wait around for a few minutes until Rose knocks on your door.

“How are you doing, my dear brother?”

“Rose, you messaged me like twenty minutes ago. You know damn well how I’m doing.”

“You make that sound as if something horrible is going on in your life. And here I am, remembering how you messaged me recently about going shopping with Karkat.”

“And we’re going now. Come on. We don’t have much time to lose. If we don’t get to the store soon, reality is going to cease to exist. I know this may sound bad, but it’s true, so we’re going to have to go off into space towards Venus. And by space I mean road and by Venus I mean Rosemary. If we don’t, then reality will come apart bit by bit. First, all the details of everything will start to fade, and we won’t even realize it at first because the fucking details are so goddamned tiny, and who even takes notice of them anyways? Then, shadows start fading away until everything looks 2D, but everything is still in 3D even if it doesn’t look like it. Afterwards, shitty jpeg artifacts will spring from the void, and this will keep on happening until our reality is indistinguishable from the void.”

“Perhaps I will get to meet Cthulhu. They do, after all, reside in the void.”

“I’m pretty sure that Cthulhu is the mightiest of all the fucking horrorterrors. You might have to meet each of the lesser horrorterrors, like, I don’t know, Fluthlu or something, before you even start to think about meeting Cthulhu.”

“Of course. How could I be so blind as to not be able to realize that it was required for me to meet every other horrorterror in nonexistence before I, a mere mortal, am able to even begin to comprehend Cthulhu’s power. However, I must say that it is appealing to meet Fluthlu and to hear his call, even if it means any joy I feel will be lost forever.”

“What the fuck? You mean Fluthlu is an actual thing? I was just making shit up.”

“Yes, Dave. Fluthlu is an actual thing, although he is the smallest and weakest of all the horrorterrors.”

“How big is he exactly?”

“Larger than the tallest skyscraper. If you wish, I can lend you the Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious so that you may get somewhat of a grasp of the monstrosities that reside in the furthest ring.”

“No, thank you. I am a okay over here where I am. I have absolutely no desire to subcom to the forces of the rulers of the void.”

“Maybe one day I’ll be able to be given orders from those from the furthest ring so that I may carry out their demands.”

“Jesus.”

“No. The opposite, really.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Like I said, I don’t believe Jesus has anything to do with submitting to the Gods of the Void.” Rose parked the car, and the two of you entered into Rosemary.

“I would very much appreciate it if you would stop licking the clothes. Right here is a sign that we put up just for you.”

“Karkat! You don’t have to talk like I don’t know you!”

“As much as I would love to use more colorful descriptions of why you should not lick the clothes, I would prefer to stay professional while I am at work.”

“Wait. Do I smell?” Terezi went towards you. “Is that you, Dave? I haven’t smelled your face in ages!”

“Holy shit, Rezi. I was wondering why this place had a sign that said not to lick the clothes. Have you been getting into a shit ton of trouble recently?”

“As a lawyer of my standing? Of course not! There would be hell to pay.” Terezi cackled. “Anyway, what is a cool kid like you doing here?”

“He’s here to get fitted for his suit.” Karkat answered for you. “Also, I think Kanaya and Rose have already gone back there, so go back there before they start doing things that none of us want to hear.”

“Will do.” You finger gun towards Karkat. “Sorry that I have to cut this meeting short, Rezi, but I don’t believe my ears can handle the sounds of two flighty broads going at it.”

“Apology accepted. I’ll just annoy Karkat some more.”

“No, you won’t.” Karkat interrupted. “Because you literally just had an appointment, and you should therefore be leaving now unless you are able to behave yourself in this establishment.”

“Wow, way to sound like a mom, Karkat.”

“Just…” Karkat rubbed at his eyes with one hand. “Go get your fitting done, Dave. And, Terezi, don’t lick the clothes. We have gone over this one hundred times.”

“One hundred and three, actually. Specific numbers are important in court.”

You go to the back to get your fitting done, despite wanting to see how the conversation would play out.

When you got to the back room, Kanaya and Rose were giggling about something or other, but, when they noticed that you were there, Rose gave Kanaya a smile and left the room, presumably to look around the shop. That left you with Kanaya by yourself.

"While I do love spending time with Rose, I feel as if it would be unprofessional to constantly be distracted by my girlfriend while doing my work, so I requested that she go look around the store while I do your fitting." Kanaya got out a bunch of stuff and asked if you would try on the suit she made.

You put on the suit, and she began to busy herself with making marks and holding the fabric aside to see if it would fit you better if it was like this or like that.

"So, how have you been doing, Dave?"

"Oh, you know. Same old, same old. I'm still doing videos on Grubtube if you were wondering. That hasn't stopped being a thing. I actually got a huge spike in viewers after I reviewed Karkat's rant, so I suppose I have that to thank him for. He'd probably be horrified though. Might spur him on to make yet another scathing rant."

"I'm sure it would be just as amusing as the first rant he wrote."

"That's a guarantee. I don't think I've ever met anyone as creative with words as he is. Does he do any writing? He should. He would probably be really good at it."

"He does dabble in writing." Kanaya said. "Although, I believe I may be understating it. He does a bit more than just dabble in writing. It's similar to a second job for him, except that he's more passionate about writing than he is about his job here, even if I do everything I can to make sure that Karkat enjoys his job here."

"That's nice of you. There are so many business owners who take advantage of all the poor kids who need money so badly that they are willing to work a shitty job for minimum wage and attempt to live off of that."

"Yes. It is really awful. I do pay Karkat and my other employees a living wage, and I give them various job benefits."

"Sounds like a fucking dream job."

"For some, it is. It isn't the case for Karkat, however. He simply works here because he needs to money, as he hasn't exactly gotten much in terms of royalties for his writing."

"What does he write, anyway? Has he published anything?" You ask.

"He mostly writes romance novels. I assume he has already informed you of his interest in romance?"

"Oh, yeah. He only talks my ears off about how these two's relationship in this novel is absolute shit, and that guy should not be within one hundred feet of the other person, and that it's a mutually unhealthy relationship, and they should really just break it off now."

"I'll take that as a yes then. As for if he's published anything, he has published a few short stories, but he has yet to feel satisfied enough with the novel he's working on to publish it. It's actually kind of a shame, since it is a phenomenal story."

"What's his story about?"

"I think Karkat explains it better than I do, so you might want to ask him. Afterall, it is his story. It's possible he'll even let you read it, but try not to get your hopes up."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Alright, I've finished. You can change back into your normal clothes. And do you mind giving me your contact information? I'm afraid I forgot to ask you when you were last here."

"No problem."

You got out of the suit in order to put on your regular clothes before trading chumhandles with Kanaya.

"Thank you. I'm going to talk to Rose for a bit about the suit, so you can go out there and roam around the store or talk to Karkat about his novel."

"Alright. Should I get Rose for you?"

"That would be greatly appreciated."

You leave the room to go find Rose, who you find quickly.

"Yo, Rose. Your girlfriend wants to talk to you about the suit or something in the back."

"Alright."

Rose left, and you glanced around the store a bit before making your way towards Karkat.

"So, Karkat, I heard you like writing. That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. I don't think you would be very interested in what I write though. It's mostly romance."

"What, no. If I wasn't interested, why the flying fuck would I be asking about it? I may seem like a complete insufferable prick, but I do actually have a heart that is capable of appreciating a well-written romance. I've gotta have my emotional fix of romantic content every once in awhile instead of rejecting any semblance of such a thing because some people don't like it when boys enjoy romantic things. It's like, jeez. Why can't a guy just be given flowers for once? It's not hurting anyone for a guy to love and appreciate his significant other showering him with love and affection."

Karkat smiled and chuckled.

"It sounds like you're not as much of a douchmuffin when it comes to romance as I first thought."

It takes you a moment to respond because Karkat smiling at you caught you off guard.

"Oh, yeah, I guess not." You finally manage to scrounge up the words to respond to him. "So, anyway, Kanaya mentioned you were writing a novel. What's it about?"

"Well, like I said, it's a romance, so, of course, you have to have the main character and their love interest. But there isn't really much actual conflict in the book. It's mostly just about two guys who become friends and eventually get together to have a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship." Karkat sounds like he's holding back, but there's this soft passion in his eyes that make you want to ask him more about his novel.

However, before you can do so, Rose comes out of the back.

"Are you ready to go, Dave?" Rose asked.

"I guess so. Hey, Karkat. Tell me more about your novel over pesterchum, alright? It sounds really interesting."

"Okay." Karkat looked kind of dumbstruck, but you were already being dragged out of the store by Rose.

"What's the rush?" You ask when the two of you make it to the car.

"I just learned that Kanaya's birthday is coming up." Rose had a grave look on her face. "I don't have any idea what to get her."

"Maybe you could try getting her something simple but heartfelt." You suggest.

"How can I just get her something simple when she's so..." She paused and stumbled over her words like a highschool girl with a crush. "Beautiful? Intelligent? Deserving of an amazing gift because she has blessed the world with her existence?"

"Okay, that's fair, but I don't think you have to worry about it so much if that's how you feel about her. Kanaya will probably love whatever you get her. If you don't believe me, I can give you Karkat's Trollhandle so that you can contact him. He would know better than anyone other than Kanaya if she would like a certain gift or not."

"I guess that would be a simpler solution. What's his handle?"

"CarcinoGeneticist. I could write it down if I had some paper and pen, but I guess I can just do that real quick when we get to my place."

"I would be grateful for that."

"Sure, anytime. But I still think that, no matter what you get Kanaya, she will love it. Speaking of her birthday though, I should probably get something for her. Huh. It occurs to me now that I don't actually know her that well since I don't talk to her that often. Then again, I could always just contact her when I get home because I got her Trollhandle while at the store. That is, if she doesn't contact me first to talk about when she should be able to get my suit done. Wait, wait, I won't be able to contact her once I get home because she'll be at work, so I would have to wait a while. And I can't talk to Karkat immediately because he is also at work. Well, shit. Guess I'll just have to play the waiting game."

"I guess you will. What were talking about with Karkat? I didn't get to talk to him much while I was out there because he was speaking to Terezi, who I know about as well as you know Kanaya."

"We started talking about a novel he was working on. It's a romance novel, but I didn't really get to learn much about it, but Karkat looked like he wanted to say a lot more about it, but he didn't, which is kind of sad because I really wanted to know more about it. Obviously because I want to be a good friend and shitty friends don't listen to their friends when they talk about shit they love."

"Of course not. Anyway, we're at your place now, so could you grab a piece of paper and pen in order to write down Karkat's Troll handle."

"Sure thing, Lalonde." You quickly go inside your house and write down carcinoGeneisist on a piece of paper before giving it to Rose.

"Thank you."

"No prob, Bob."

"Please never say that again." Rose requested.

"Righty tighty, sounds alrighty." You finger gun at her and leave before she can tell you off for saying that, if the disgusted look on her face is anything to go by.

You were now at home. What to do.

Pester your friends, of course. You haven't talked to your best buddy in a while.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: yo egbert are you there

EB: yeah i'm here.

EB: what do you want to talk about?

TG: i dont know man a guy cant just pester his best friend for no good reason at all

EB: well, i guess he can!

EB: but you usually have something in mind to talk about when you pester me.

TG: i guess a conversation usually does require a topic to talk about to actually have some kind of conversation

TG: but there are plenty of conversations that take place in this world that are absolute bullshit and nothing ever gets done or said

TG: but seriously

TG: we havent talked in a while

TG: hows it going

EB: it's going pretty good!

EB: i'm getting more popular, and i think some of my jokes have become a meme?

EB: i can't remember which ones off the top of my head, but some people are beating a dead horse.

EB: like, i get it, my jokes are funny, but is it really necessary to repeat them until even the mention of a single word from it sets off laughter from anyone who hears it?

TG: it is most certainly necessary

TG: thats how memes live

TG: and that is how they die

TG: it is the way of the meme

TG: youve gotta get to the point where an outsider looking in wont be able to decipher all the fucking nonsense coming from the internets

TG: even people who know the meme inside and out will have to stare at the meme for a bit of time before they finally understand

TG: the meme will die when the people say it dies

TG: but the meme will live on forever in peoples hearts

EB: that sounds excessive.

TG: the world is excessive john

EB: that doesn't even make sense.

TG: listen

TG: the world is big

TG: its got so many fucking things in it

TG: people plants animals and a shit ton of other things

TG: they all live on this one planet with the sun shining bright in the daytime and the moon hung overhead threatening to destroy us at night

TG: All these things that our big ass planet has

TG: but there are planets that are so much fucking larger than our planet

TG: and they have a bunch of shit on them as well

TG: and then there are stars bigger than our sun

TG: and they have a bunch of shit in them

TG: and our universe expands and retracts like its some kind of giant frog idk

TG: the universe is excessive

TG: the world is excessive

TG: our entire existence is excessive

TG: all is excessive

EB: okaaaaaaaay........

TG: you may not accept it but it is the full truth

TG: anyway

TG: is there anything else interesting that is happening in your live currently

EB: well, there is this one thing that keeps happening to me

TG: lay it on me

EB: recently, there has been this one person who's been coming to a lot of my shows, but all they do is boo whatever i say.

EB: it makes people laugh, so i don't usually pay it that much attention, but it's been the exact same person every time.

EB: it's starting to get pretty annoying.

TG: obviously what you gotta is retaliate somehow

TG: like come up with a gold star quality comedy act about how they come to every fuckin thing you do and just boo you

TG: thats some comedy gold all by itself dude

EB: i've thought of that, but wouldn't that be kind of mean?

EB: what if the person doesn't want that kind of attention?

TG: dude if they have been to so many of your acts only to boo you every time you say something funny then they are clearly after attention

TG: it all depends on where you want this to go

TG: if you want to feed them then you can go ahead and feed them

TG: but you also have the choice to just leave them alone

TG: nothing is stopping you from doing whatever you want to do

EB: i guess?

EB: maybe i'll just leave it alone for now.

EB: they might stop if i ignore them for long enough, right?

TG: probably

TG: but i hope you realize that the trope of ignoring a bully will make them stop bullying only works if you really dont actually care

TG: the main question here is how do you feel about this person booing you at your comedy acts

EB: it's mostly just annoying.

EB: like, yeah, they boo pretty often, but, at the same time, they're cackling like my joke was the funniest thing they've ever heard in their life.

EB: at this point, it's kind of enduring.

TG: well shit

TG: if thats how you feel then you should definitely do a comedy act based on their cackling at your joke while also booing at your joke

EB: i'll think about it.

EB: enough about me though.

EB: how have you been doing?

EB: i've just been talking about myself this entire time.

TG: mostly ive just been kind of doing the usual

TG: but rose recently forced me to go get a custom suit from this place

TG: and i met this guy there that i became friends with

TG: and rose started dating the lady who owned the place

EB: how long ago did this happen???

TG: well it happened within the span of about two weeks maybe more because rose had been talking to the owner before i went there

TG: but they started dating within that two week time period

EB: i feel like i should have been informed of this sooner.

EB: i have to tell rose that i'm happy for her!

TG: she probably would have told you herself at some point

TG: no need to get any sort of backwater information from her twin

EB: still...

EB: but aside from that, what's your friend's name?

EB: and what's he like?

TG: his name is karkat and hes pretty angry but hes nice when you get to know him and he likes romcoms

EB: you know karkat????

TG: you know karkat?????

EB: of course i know karkat!

EB: he sent me a long rant about how my jokes were dumb and idiotic, but they still made him laugh for some reason.

TG: what a coincidence

TG: he sent me a long rant about how pointless and confusing my channel is

EB: ...

EB: is this just a thing he does?

TG: i honestly have no idea

TG: i have not heard anything about him sending long ass rants to people other than me or you but who really knows

TG: what made you contact him

EB: he seemed kind of funny, so i just emailed him back, and we eventually traded chumhandles.

EB: what about you?

TG: so remember how i said i met him at the store rose dragged me to

EB: yeah?

TG: i didnt know he was the one who made the rant at the time and i may have ended up giving him my chumhandle

EB: you didn't know he wrote the rant when you gave him your chumhandle?

EB: how did you not recognize the tone almost immediately?

TG: he was at work and being all professional and shit

TG: it wasnt until later when he contacted me that i found out

TG: apparently he originally got my chumhandle from tz but didnt contact me because he thought i was a douche

TG: but he changed his mind when he met me in real life

EB: you're as much of a douche in real life as you are on the internet.

EB: which is to say, you're a huge dork, and there's nothing you can do about it.

EB: but your first impressions do tend to make you seem like a prick.

EB: no offense!

TG: none taken

EB: so why would he not think you were as much of douche as he thought you were?

EB: you only don't act like a douche for first impressions unless it's someone you find attractive.

EB: wait.

EB: oh.

EB: dave, did you flirt with karkat????????

TG: what no

TG: maybe

TG: there is a possibility that a little bit of flirting was done

TG: but shhh

TG: no one can know

EB: we all know you have feelings, dave.

TG: shit my secret has been found out

TG: whatever am i going to do

EB: maybe you'll have to stage your death.

EB: the shittiest death you can possibly think of.

TG: oh shit what would be the shittiest death

TG: like what is the most idiotic way to die that you can think of

EB: i don't know.

EB: i think once a guy died because he was trying to find wi fi, but he ended up falling off a building.

TG: ouch

TG: that was way shittier than what i was thinking of

TG: and i wasnt even thinking of real people that actually died in stupid ways

TG: i have been blind to the possibilities

EB: clearly!

TG: no need to get smart with me egbert

TG: i was merely over here thinking about how fucking dumb it would be if i died by dogs

TG: like two dogs manage to ahold of a knife or something

TG: and they start stabbing me in the ankle or the leg

TG: i guess it would depend on how big the dogs were

TG: if they were big dogs it would be a little less stupid

TG: but can you imagine how goddamned idiotic it would be if i were to die by little itty bitty dogs like fucking chihuahuas or some shit

TG: it would be so fucking stupid

TG: cause i would be over here giving them love and affection

TG: and then they stab me in the leg

TG: and i would be like awww

TG: youre trying to stab me you little cutie

TG: and then i would die

TG: because i was being an idiot who didnt realize that i should not trust any lifeform with a knife

EB: chihuahuas are pretty angry though.

TG: youre right they are

TG: big dogs are so goddamned sweet

TG: like jades dog

TG: hes just big and fluffy and friendly

TG: everytime i visit her i just get a face full of slobber

TG: bec looking so goddamned happy to see me

TG: dogs really are the good in the world

TG: and roses cat hates me

TG: well he doesnt really hate me

TG: he just

TG: ignores and avoids me as much as possible

TG: i have no idea why

TG: he could at least be clawing at my face

TG: pretty sure i smell like birds and dead shit half the time

EB: why would you smell like birds?

TG: dude

TG: have you seen how crows just fucking flock to me

EB: not really.

EB: then again, we don't really hang out that much in real life.

TG: shit youre right

TG: the next time you come around here we have got to hang out and catch up

TG: anyone who sees us will be jealous that they dont have a bro as great as you

EB: no.

EB: anyone who sees us will be jealous that they dont have a bro as great as YOU!

TG: bro

EB: bro.

TG: youre the best bro any bro could ever ask for

EB: come here, bro.

EB: i'm going in for the rare bro hug.

EB: we're doing this man.

EB: we're making this happen.

TG: john while i appreciate the gesture that meme is about seventeen thousand seven hundred seven six years old

EB: it's not that old!

EB: i mean, it is pretty old, but it's not that old.

TG: i made that joke when i was thirteen john

TG: thirteen

TG: its time to retire the meme

TG: how did you even become a world famous comedian if you dont know when to retire a meme

EB: it's because i started the memes, dave

TG: shit youre right

TG: how could i ever forget the impact you have had on the meme industry

TG: and yet here you are

TG: reusing memes that are what

TG: like fifteen years old at least

TG: and its a meme that i started

TG: and is only limited to our friend group that is made up of like four people

EB: we have a larger friend group than just four people!

TG: not when we were thirteen we didnt

TG: we just kind of messaged each other because we were lonely kids who didnt really have any friends

TG: thank god we actually managed to become adults

TG: its a fucking miracle

TG: and now we are just living our lives and talking to new people and having an okay time

TG: so all i can think of now is just

TG: thank god we lived

EB: ...

TG: ...

TG: well this got weirdly personal really quickly

TG: i think its time to terminate this conversation before it gets any more reminiscent of things that may or may not have happened in the past

TG: i might talk to jade about how her plants are doing or something

EB: we should really contact each other more often.

EB: so, don't be a stranger, dave!

TG: of course not

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade

TG: how are your plants doing

TG: what stuff do you even grow during the fall

TG: like pumpkins and shit

TG: or does it even matter where you live

GG: hey dave!

GG: im pretty sure it does actually matter now, especially since i dont live on a tropical island anymore

TG: oh yeah

TG: i almost forgot about that

TG: how is society treating you

GG: i dont know how you forgot when ive been living in society for around ten years, if not more

GG: <_<

GG: as for how my plants are doing, theyre doing well!

GG: ive been growing some cauliflower and broccoli

GG: im looking forward to being able to eat them!

GG: and possibly sell a few since people seem to love freshly grown vegetables

TG: sounds fantastic

TG: people must be clamoring to get even a single taste of the famous homegrown vegetables made by the one and only jade harley

TG: youve become internet famous what would you like to say to your fans ms harley

GG: as much as i would love to give my vegetables to everyone, i only have so many

GG: and i also want to keep some of them :p

TG: there you have it folks

TG: not all of you will get the freshly grown vegetables youve been waiting for

TG: better luck next year

TG: or next season

TG: or whatever time you decide to grow more vegetables

TG: or they can grow their own or something like that

TG: who really knows tho

TG: maybe they have the worst green thumb known to man

TG: like the last time they tried gardening they ended up burning the house down

TG: nobody is actually sure how that happened

TG: but goddamn if it didnt happen

GG: i think someone burning their garden down would be unlikely :/

TG: and yet it happened

TG: it could totally happen

TG: maybe they were misinformed on how to properly take care of plants

TG: like they were told they had to set fire to the plants to give them nutrients

TG: or they came from an alternate reality where people had to give fire to plants instead of water

TG: so just imagine a person waking up and going up to fire up their plants only to find that destroys them

TG: they would be so confused and probably super terrified

GG: i kind of feel bad for them, since they probably spent so long taking care of their plants, and then their garden goes up in flames because they woke up in an alternate reality

GG: :(

GG: its just so sad!

TG: yeah it is super sad

TG: but afterwards they probably figure out that they woke up in an alternate reality

TG: and then they either try to go back or figure out how to take care of plants in the new universe they woke up in

GG: :)

TG: can you imagine the person in the other world

TG: they get up to water their plants

TG: only to find that kills the plants there

TG: maybe the two of them communicate with each other

TG: it would be super fucking awesome if someone were to build a machine that enables us to talk to people from other dimensions

GG: that would be pretty awesome!

GG: but what if the person from the dimension you were talking to was evil!

GG: do you think they could find a way to our dimensions

TG: they might

TG: that is if one of the other dimensions doesnt do it first

TG: there are probably plenty of other dimensions that would be able to figure out a way to the other dimensions

TG: it could be like a constant throughout dimensions that humans want to figure out as much shit as possible

GG: it would be boring if we suddenly just decided to stop learning things about our world!

TG: it would be

TG: that reminds me

TG: are you doing anything with your sciency job

TG: hows that going

GG: its going really well!

GG: we are currently trying to make an artificial intelligence for cars

GG: weve run into a few bugs but we are working on them

GG: we are also trying to make them environmentally friendly!

TG: thats super cool

TG: youre super cool

GG: thanks!

GG: how have you been doing?

GG: done anything interesting?

GG: met anyone new?

TG: shit did rose tell you

GG: maybe

GG: but she didnt tell me that much

GG: she didnt even tell me the persons name

TG: okay so yeah i did meet someone new

TG: hes small and angry but also really nice

TG: his name is karkat

GG: i know karkat!

TG: shit does everyone know karkat????

GG: i guess :/

TG: jesus christ like rose was the one who introduced him to me

TG: and then john knew him

TG: and you did too

TG: am i really the last person to know of his existence???

TG: i feel cheated honestly

TG: that yall would neglect to tell me about such a fantastic and angry individual

TG: people always say that opposites attract

TG: well im super chill and hes super angry its like we were meant to be

TG: ...

TG: that was not supposed to sound the way it did

TG: i meant like platonically

TG: platonically meant to be

TG: no homo

TG: except maybe a little cause im bi as heck

GG: alright cool kid we get it

GG: youre at least a little bit gay for karkat

TG: well yeah if youre not at least a little bit gay for your friend than what kind of friend are you

GG: im not sure if it works like that

TG: okay so maybe it doesnt but still

TG: gotta put so many layers of irony between me and myself that the moment it all goes down im just a blob of a human being

TG: like if you dont have a skeleton

TG: just laying there in a pile of your own sweat and blood and skin

GG: thats super gross!

TG: thats just the facts jade

TG: you wouldnt be able to have any sort of structure if you didnt have a skeleton

TG: shit be one of the most important parts of the body

TG: wait which body part is the most important

GG: i think the heart or the brain seems the most likely!

TG: youre probably right

TG: but the question here is whether the heart or the brain is more important

GG: im not sure really

GG: contrary to popular belief, i dont actually know that much about the human body!

GG: which is why i work with robots instead

TG: and i only know about random historical dead shit

TG: like archeology shit

TG: which reminds me that i havent talked to ara in probably a few months

GG: who was ara again?

TG: shes was one of my friends in college who actually became an archeologist

TG: although to be fair the only reason i havent talked to her for so long is because she does not have much free time

TG: spends all her time digging shit up and figuring out what it was for

TG: kicking sexist and homophobic assholes to the curb with her superior knowledge that people were still gay and shit thirteen thousand and four years ago

GG: oh yeah!

GG: i think i remember her

GG: we didnt really talk much :(

TG: huh

TG: i thought you two would have hit it off really well

GG: i think it was more due to our respective schedules than any sort of apprehension of talking to each other

TG: oh yeah

TG: you two were both super intense when it came to your major

TG: like more so than most other people

GG: i would say we were passionate :p

TG: well that was definitely clear as a cloudless day

TG: like clear as when you go to a super fucking remote area where there isnt any light for miles and miles and miles

TG: clear as the motherfucking night sky in that particular area

TG: but yall were also a bit obsessive

GG: i wouldnt say that!

TG: you forgot to eat and sleep for an entire day because you were working on a project that you were passionate about

GG: ...

GG: i have finger reminders now!

GG: i havent forgotten to eat in a while now!

TG: it is amazing that you came up with a system to remind yourself of things

TG: and that it actually works

TG: i tried it once and i forgot what the pink ribbon on my right pinkie finger first notch meant

TG: you practically made a language out of bits of colorful string and ribbons on your fingers

TG: though it is kind of odd that you didnt put the reminders to eat and sleep on sooner

GG: i had better things to worry about

TG: jade

GG: dave

TG: jade

GG: cool kid

TG: you had better things to worry about than completing an action that would kill you if you did not do it

GG: having a body is inconvenient most of the time

GG: the only things it is good for is petting dogs and making robots

TG: that is fair

TG: but consider that there is no way out of your flesh prison so you need to take care of it so that you can pet more dogs and make more robots

GG: hmmmm

GG: i think you might be right

TG: you think

GG: yes!

GG: i do, in fact, think, dave

GG: its kind of a thing we humans do

TG: what is this human you speak of

TG: i never heard of such a thing

TG: is it a disease

TG: should i be worried

GG: no, no, silly!

GG: humans are a sentient life form capable of communicating with each other in complex ways

GG: they are typically characterized by their determination to improve themselves and their environment

TG: sounds terrifying

GG: yeah :/

TG: do you have anything on this planet that is not scary

GG: dogs!!!

GG: we have dogs!!

TG: and what are dogs like

GG: they are friendly and good!!!

GG: they are also fluffy and you can pet them!!!

GG: and you can play with them!!

TG: sounds like my kind of thing where do i sign up

GG: you can adopt whatever dog you like at the pet store or an animal shelter

GG: make sure you can take care of them though!!!

GG: if you dont take care of your pet, i will personally come to your house and shoot you with my rifle!!

TG: ill be sure to keep that in mind

TG: anyway do you want aras chumhandle

TG: or troll handle

TG: god all these different compatible platforms are confusing

GG: they are a bit confusing :/

GG: i think jane still uses betty bother!!

TG: what really

TG: that shitty thing

GG: yep

GG: but yes i would like aras troll handle

TG: it is apocalypsearisen

TG: so you can go contact her now if you want

GG: ill be sure to do that!

GG: thank you!!

GG: im going to go do that now

GG: see ya!!

TG: bye

-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well shit. If Jade was pestering Aradia now, then that means that you can't contact her right now. Unless Aradia decides to talk to you at the same time as Jade, but that's just annoying for everyone involved. Besides, someone else was pestering you right now. Er, trolling.

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: WH4T'S UP COOL K1D

GC: 1 H34RD YOU HUNG OUT W1TH K4RKL3S TH3 OTH3R D4Y

GC: HOW W4S MY GRUMPY FR13ND??

TG: how did you find out about me hanging out with karkat

GC: D4V3

GC: YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW TH4T 1 H4V3 4 V4ST N3TWORK OF P3OPL3 TO G4TH3R 1NFORM4T1ON FROM

GC: 1 KNOW 3V3RYON3 4S W3LL 4S HOW L1K3LY TH3Y 4R3 TO B3 GU1LTY FOR 4 CR1M3

TG: oh yeah

TG: right

TG: thats not creepy at all

GC: 1'M 4 L4WY3R D4V3

GC: 1T 1S MY JOB TO F1ND OUT 1F MY CL13NT 1S GU1LTY OR NOT

GC: 4ND 1F TH3Y 4R3NT 1 M4K3 SUR3 TH3Y DONT G3T PUN1SH3D FOR SOM3TH1NG TH3Y D1D NOT DO

TG: good business practice

TG: wait question

TG: i feel like i might have asked you this before but here it goes anyway

TG: how do you know karkat

GC: K4RK4T 4ND 1 4R3 CH1LDHOOD FR13NDS

TG: oh shit

TG: never would have guessed that

TG: you two just seem so different that it never even occurred to me that you would hang out with each other

GC: H3 3V3N H4D 4 CRUSH ON M3 1N M1DDL3 SCHOOL

GC: 1T W4S JUST 4S 4WKW4RD 4S 1T SOUNDS

GC: MOSTLY B3C4US3 1 D1DNT F33L TH3 S4M3 W4Y

GC: 4LSO B3C4US3

TG: because what

GC: C4N YOU K33P 4 S3CR3T??

TG: of course i can keep a goddamned secret who the fuck do you think i am

TG: someone who says every single thought that comes to their head regardless of how private that thought is

TG: dont answer that

TG: but yeah i can probably keep any secret you tell me

TG: lay it on me

GC: 4LR1GHT SO YOU KNOW HOW TROLLS H4V3 4 D1FF3R3NT ROM4NC3 SYST3M TH4N HUM4NS

TG: yeah

TG: yall got like quadrants and shit

TG: entirely too complicated if you ask me but whatever

TG: continue

GC: W3LL K4RK4T N3V3R F3LT TH3 NORM4L 3MOT1ONS 4SSOC14T3D W1TH TROLL ROM4NC3

GC: H3 V4C1LL4T3D L1K3 CR4ZY

GC: WH1CH M4D3 1T V3RY D1FF1CULT FOR H1M TO HOLD DOWN 4NY CONCUP1SC3NT QU4DR4NT

GC: DON’T T3LL H1M 1 TOLD YOU TH1S

GC: H3’S V3RY S3NS1T1V3 4BOUT 1T

TG: i can see why

TG: he really fucking loves those romance novels doesnt he

GC: Y34H

TG: …

GC: …

TG: …

GC: …

GC: W3LL 4NYW4Y TH4T W4S 4 FUN CONV3RS4T1ON BUT 1 N33D TO GO NOW

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, that conversation got really serious really quickly. You can’t remember the last time you had a even the slightest it serious talk with Terezi. Maybe this was the first. Does that mean that you two aren’t as close friends as you thought you were, or are you two simply content with sending each other shitty memes and joking around?

Reasonably thinking, it was the latter, and you are just overthinking this entire thing, but neither of you really knew how to react when you two reached a topic that you couldn’t really brush off or joke about.

Should you talk to her about it? Would she be comfortable with that? Would she rather you just be that friend that she can be silly with? Would it be awkward to bring it up?

And what about you? How do you even feel about this? You’re kind of torn between wanting to be silly friends with Terezi and wanting to know how she is in actuality. Which, you guess, is basically the definition of being close friends with somebody, but you don’t know if it breaks any troll bro codes.

You were interrupted from your thoughts when your computer dinged, signaling that someone was contacting you.

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AA: hello dave!

AA: its been a while

AA: jade told me that you wanted to contact me so here i am!

TG: that was nice of her

TG: how did your conversation with her go

AA: it was nice

AA: i look forward to speaking with her in the future

TG: thats cool

TG: how have you been doing

TG: with your job and all

TG: are you still up to your tits in shit to do

AA: of course

AA: thats kind of what i signed up for when i got the job

AA: i even direct expeditions occasionally!!!

AA: its really hard work but it is very rewarding

TG: well im glad youre wherever doing and enjoying your job

AA: what about you

AA: surely you got some sort of job

AA: even if it isnt the job you had in mind when you got your degree

TG: yeah i do have some sort of job

TG: i make grubtube videos

TG: and do commission work on the side

TG: some of it is actually good while others ask for ironically shitty things

TG: being able to draw both good and shitty things is a skill not many can appreciate

AA: thats simultaneously something i would not have expected and something that was bound to happen

AA: i hope that you get enough money to live off of from doing that

TG: oh yeah i make plenty of money

TG: especially since my channel got really popular because one of my videos became a meme

AA: oh!

AA: well thats good

AA: which video was it if you dont mind me asking

AA: not that i know what your channel is

TG: my channels name is cogsinthegodshead

TG: and the video that became popular was one where i review a large rant that someone sent me

TG: ...

TG: ara??

TG: you still there???

AA: oh yes

AA: i just took a minute to look up your video

AA: it is amusing and reminds me of a certain friend i used to have

AA: but i havent actually talked to him in years

AA: i wonder if he still thinks im dead

TG: what

TG: what do you mean if he still thinks youre dead

TG: did you like fake your death or something???

AA: its an inside joke we used to have

AA: about me doing things that would have more likely than not ended with my death

AA: i used to be very reckless you know!

AA: :D

TG: how could you have been so reckless that you had an inside joke about you dying

AA: i was very reckless

TG: i got that

TG: jesus

TG: what was your friend even like

AA: he was a very angry person!

AA: he was always shouting

AA: but it was more shouting at us to take care of ourselves rather than anything with malice

AA: like he would yell at us to get more sleep and to eat something

AA: he was probably one of the more well adjusted people in our friend group

TG: okay one more question

AA: shoot

TG: what was his name

AA: his name was karkat

TG: goddamn it

TG: i knew it

TG: how come everyone i know knew karkat before i ever did

TG: like im just today finding out that a bunch of my friends are friends with karkat

TG: and now you

TG: i havent even talked to you in a few months and yet

TG: here we are

TG: apparently you were also friends with karkat

TG: were you childhood friends with him like terezi was????

AA: yes but terezi knew him since kindergarten

AA: i didnt meet him until middle school

TG: shit they knew each other since kindergarden????

AA: they did

TG: holy shit

TG: thats a long ass time

TG: you know theyre still friends right

TG: like they still talk to each other and all that jazz

AA: thats certainly surprising!

AA: i havent talked to either of them in years

AA: in fact i never kept contact with any of our old friend group except for sollux

TG: whos sollux

AA: hes my matesprit!

AA: he also is one of karkats current friends

AA: at least from what i hear

AA: apparently they still talk occasionally

TG: huh

TG: i guess it would make sense that i havent heard of him if they dont talk that much

AA: they dont talk that much now but they used to be best friends

AA: i assumed they grew apart slowly so now they dont talk that often

AA: maybe i should encourage them to spend more time with each other

TG: wait

TG: are you and sollux in a long distance relationship

AA: i guess you could say that

AA: my job requires me to travel quite a bit so i dont often stay in one place

AA: sollux on the other hand prefers to stay in one place even if he could do his job while traveling

AA: he works from home

AA: kind of like you do!

TG: what kind of work does he do

AA: he does programming and i believe he is currently working on a game

AA: he doesnt want to share the details of it with me

TG: well why not

AA: he told me it was a surprise

TG: that seems suspicious

AA: it certainly does

TG: what are you going to do about

AA: i could wait but

TG: but what

AA: nevermind

AA: it wasnt really a very good idea

AA: especially since he has explained to me why hes keeping the details a secret

TG: shit why

AA: (its supposed to be a surprise for me)

AA: (i think he knows that i would try to find out what it was if he didnt tell me at least that)

TG: (oh shit)

TG: (what do you think it is)

AA: (i dont know)

AA: (i just know that it is for me)

TG: (aside from that)

TG: (why are we putting our text into parenthesis)

AA: it was supposed to be a visual way to show whispering

TG: thats a pretty good way to whisper

TG: ive got to use that in future conversations with people

TG: make sure that any secret is kept safe inside the parenthesis of void

TG: that way nobody can figure out what information is being kept inside them

AA: why void

TG: because void is like emptiness or some shit

TG: and it can hide information apparently???

TG: i honestly dont really know i just remember my older sister talking about it

TG: she was kind of rambling on about void or whatever

TG: rambling seems to run in the family who would have guessed

TG: surely not every goddamned person to ever speak to a strider or a lalonde

TG: rose wont admit it but she rambles on pretty often

TG: its just more intelligent sounding than everyone elses rambles

TG: except for dirk

TG: dirks rambling sounds pretty sciency and shit

TG: apparently he works with robots like jade does

TG: but instead of working on the ai and actual programming of the robots

TG: he does the actual building of the robots

TG: he might do some programming tho

TG: like occasionally

AA: thats pretty interesting!

AA: i dont know the people you mentioned though

TG: ok so quick rundown

TG: rose is my twin

TG: dirk is my older brother

TG: jade is a good friend of mine

TG: they are all super smart and do a bunch of smarty pants things

AA: it sounds like you are proud of them!

TG: hella

TG: i mean sometimes i think about how i could have probably done something like that

TG: but its just not something i wanted to do

TG: you feel??

TG: like its just not something i could see myself spending my entire life on

AA: you dont have to you know

TG: what

AA: you dont have to do one thing for your entire life

AA: you can do a bunch of different things

AA: you have so much of your lifespan left and not everyone wants to do the same thing over and over again for years at a time

AA: you can shake it up

AA: so maybe one day you could decide to dabble in some programming or writing

AA: if you decide you dont like it you dont have to keep doing it

AA: i probably sound a bit hypocritical since i have dedicated so much to my passion which im sure i will want to keep doing for my life

AA: but i recognize that its not the same with everyone

TG: ...

TG: huh

TG: i guess i never really thought of it like that

TG: we get told so much that we need to do one thing with our life

TG: and we are expected to be satisfied with that

TG: i just never really thought about it

TG: being middle aged seems like a muddle of a lack of planning

TG: its difficult to imagine myself at that age

TG: maybe

TG: ill be a museum curator

TG: and ill look at artifacts and write little blurbs of information on each one that no one is going to read

TG: and ill lead tours around the museum

TG: and ill answer little kids questions no matter how ridiculous they are

TG: like asking if dinosaurs were made of stardust

TG: and id be like fuck yes little jimmy

TG: dinosaurs were made of stardust

TG: and so are you

TG: ...

TG: or maybe ill continue doing my youtube channel

AA: it sounds like you put a lot of thought into being a museum curator

TG: i guess i did

TG: maybe its not too late to do something like that

AA: of course not!

AA: but you have to make sure to go after the things you want

AA: if you dont you mind find yourself at your deathbed regretting not doing something

TG: i guess youre right

TG: ...

TG: thank you i guess

TG: for the advice and the conversation

AA: its really no problem

AA: we should talk more

TG: we definitely should

TG: just like contact me if you are ever free and feel like talking to somebody

AA: ill be sure to do that!

AA: it was nice talking to you too

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Whew. That conversation was exhausting, but also kind of nice? You just feel worn out now, and you also realize that it's getting pretty late, so you decide to go to sleep. It was probably one of the best sleeps you've ever had.

#homestuck #davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #rosemary #kanrose #jade harley #john egbert #terezi pyrope #aradia megido #aradave #johnrezi

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