#wolfman's medicine

[tawus]

Me: "I'm reading One Punch Man manga for the engaging plot, the intentional and thinly veiled derision of the hero-villain dichotomy, the fast-paced action, wholesome comedy, and Murata's god-tier art style"

The engaging plot, the intentional and thinly veiled derision of the hero-villain dichotomy, the fast-paced action, wholesome comedy, and Murata's god-tier art style:

#the one older fic i felt the worst about abandoning was my Garou x Reader longfic #and ppl still comment asking for the rest and i've been like 🫥 #but now the planets have aligned for that fic bc GODDAMN this manga is fire #and it's gonna come back bigger better and sexier #after finishing Sophisticated ima finish Mister Fahrenheit and then ima finish #wolfman's medicine #garou opm #garou the hero hunter #opm garou #garou the human monster #garou #one punch man #opm manga #one punch man manga #garou x reader #tawus

[thatsrightice]

Got curious about rules on alcohol on aircraft carriers after listening to an episode of the F-14 Tomcast podcast and discovered that there was technically a prohibition on board the carriers (until 2014) but that there were exceptions for “medicinal purposes such as when a crew is shaken by an accident or a pilot is suffering from the pressure of a demanding mission.”

And now I just need Iceman and Slider starting to go into a form of shock that just had them shutting down and then being issued “medicinal” alcohol after the USS Layton mission, and Maverick and Merlin and Wolfman and Hollywood come into their shared bunk room and finding them sitting on the floor sharing a bottle of whiskey and Slider is dying laughing his fucking ass off and Iceman is giggling cause they had FIVE MiGs on their ass!!! F I V E!!!! No way they thought they’d survive. Like they’d have all kinds of thoughts like what if that was supposed to be karma for Goose? What if they were at fault for his death? And maybe Maverick should have left them to die?

See Hollywood and Wolfman weren’t expecting it, getting shot down. Typically the procedure was that aircraft of both sides would essentially be herded or merely followed back towards their side like just sitting their scoping out the opposing military technology the whole time but surprise they’d been shot down. There’s a little shock but like, they never had time to process it.

Iceman and Slider? They sat with FIVE MiGs on their ass for a time, questioning if they’re going to get obliterated to pieces or if they were just being toyed with and played with until the MiGs get bored. Like fuck man I’d need a drink too! I’d be thinking all kinds of self-worthless and introspective thoughts and shit like my mental state would have been rocked.

#medicinal (insert air quotes here) #AND THEY KILLED ANOTHER MAN LIKE HE PROB HAD PEOPLE WHO LOVED HIM AND SHIT. THAT SHITS HEAVY. #top gun and iceman is my distraction :) #tom kazansky #top gun: maverick #iceman #top gun #top gun iceman #top gun maverick #pete mitchell #icemav #my boys #ron kerner #top gun maverixk #tom iceman kazansky #ron slider kerner #pete maverick mitchell #rick hollywood neven #leonard wolfman wolfe #sam merlin wells #Merlin #Hollywood #wolfman #just a little thing I wrote

[roguefankc]

It's Flu Season! And because Maverick would be the biggest baby if he got sick...

(Penny, Wolfman, Slider, Merlin, and Hollywood run though the front door of Iceman and Maverick house, with Iceman tiredly sitting on the couch in the living room)

Wolfman: Ice?! what's wrong?! We all got your message that you needed help!

Iceman: It's awful! The whole house is sick! First Hangman came down with the flu, then Phoenix, then Rooster, then Payback, and then all the rest of the Dagger Squad! I was running a sick ward all weekend!

Merlin:...wait, why isn't Maverick helping you?

Iceman (flatly): Because then came Monday...

(Maverick comes out in his bathrobe, hair tousled, pale, clammy, and half-asleep and in his hands a bottle of pills)

Maverick (whining): Ice, honey? Can you open the aspirin for me?

---

(The whole 80s Top Gun team and Penny stay to help Iceman run the house and take care of Maverick and the Dagger Squad)

(Maverick is in bed, weakly ringing a bell)

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

Slider (in the next room helping Coyote): Give me a minute.

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

Slider (in the next room): I said I'm coming!

Maverick (ringing the bell): Slider...

(Slider rushes into Maverick's bedroom in a panic): What?! What?! What?!

Maverick (weakly): My pillow needs poofing.

Slider (eye twitching):...Mitchell, I don't think you want to put a pillow in my hands right now.

---

(Maverick is in bed, whining and gasping for breath)

Maverick (weakly): I'm dying, Hollywood. I'm giving up the ghost. Every cell in my being is crying out in anguish. It was a good life while it lasted, but this is it. Hello, Grim Reaper.

Hollywood (with a bottle of cough syrup and a spoon in his hands): Cut the bullshit. The medicine doesn't taste that bad.

Maverick (weakly):...Goose? Dad? Carol? Is that you?

---

(Maverick is in his bathrobe, still sick, and in Iceman's home office while Iceman is frantically typing away on his keyboard)

Maverick: Ice, sweetie? Can you heat up some chicken soup for me?

Iceman (stressed): Mav, sorry but I'm really busy right now! I need to approve this contract in twenty minutes! Can't you just fend for yourself?

Maverick (whining): But I'm sick, honey...

Iceman: Mav, for fuck's sake, we're not talking brain surgery! All you have to do is open a stupid can and dump it in a pot!

(Maverick disappears into the kitchen and then come back a minute later. In his hands is a pot, and in the pot is a can of chicken soup. The can is open but the contents of the soup are still inside the can)

Maverick: Now what?

Iceman:...now, we talk brain surgery.

---

(Maverick stumbles in the kitchen where Penny, Wolfman, and Merlin are making soup and orange juice for all the Dagger Squad)

Maverick: Is it time for my aspirin yet?

Wolfman: No, Mitchell.

Maverick: But my throat hurts...

Merlin: Maverick, go back to bed. It hasn't been four hours yet.

Maverick: But my head hurts! My joints hurt! My eyes hurt! My body hurts! (in a baby voice) My itty bitty widdle pinkies hurt!

(Penny sighs and opens the aspirin bottle)

Maverick (smirks): I knew I'd win with that one.

Penny: These aren't for you.

(Penny gives two pills to herself, Merlin, and Wolfman and they all gulp them down immediately)

---

(BONUS)

(Cyclone is back at headquarters in his office, feet on his desk with a small glass of bourbon)

Cyclone (smiling): What a peaceful, quiet day.

#incorrect top gun quotes #incorrect top gun maverick quotes #tom iceman kazansky #top gun maverick #incorrect top gun #Leonard Wolfman Wolfe #Ron Slider Kerner #Sam Merlin Wells #Rick Hollywood Neven #Penny Benjamin #source: foxtrot #pete maverick mitchell #maverick would be the biggest baby #phoenix is threating to kick hangman's ass for infecting her #beau cyclone simpson #top gun 1986 #icemav

[delirious-donna]

tw: blood, period sex… don’t click read more if these things bother you! feat. Kiba Inuzuka, Bakugou Katsuki, Nanami Kento & Alhaitham

Who do you think would be the most open to the idea of period sex? It’s messy, sure but I know personally that I am always horny as hell when it’s my time of the month. Three guesses why I’m thinking about this right now!!

So, I have a few people in mind and they are from different fandoms but I’d be interested in other thoughts, feel free to leave suggestions in the tags.

Kiba Inuzuka - he’s practically a wolfman with his sharp fangs, primal characteristics and that well honed nose. He can track your cycle better than you ever could, scenting the incoming change and preparing for your inevitable mood swings. Kiba definitely strikes me as the type not to be grossed out by a little blood, after all, why would he want to deny himself the pleasure of your warm cunt for up to a week?! It’s nothing a steamy shower can’t fix once you’re boneless on the bed, admiring the golden-skinned man above you and smiling coyly at the deep scratch marks you’ve carved into his shoulders and back.

Katsuki Bakugou - “It’s just blood, dumbass.” This would be his response when you try to shy away from his advances despite the yawning desire curling in your stomach. He’s a practical man, very forthright and straightforward. Katsuki would remind you of all the times you’d ridden him to the floor the second he’s walked in the door from a patrol, covered in cuts and scratches from whatever villain he’d been fighting. It’s always fun to see you wound extra tight, the telltale jump of your knee and your fingers near your mouth as you resist the urge to bite at them. Knowing you’ll be purring like a kitten once he has you creaming around his cock.

Nanami Kento - he just wants you to feel good, to take care of you and again, he isn’t bothered by the sight of blood. Kento knows you can feel less than your usual adorable and happy self when on your period, and he does everything he can to relieve your symptoms. The medicine cabinet is stocked with your preferred pads and tampons, the kitchen houses an inordinate amount of your favourite treats, he brings you hot water bottles when your back aches and he presses his large warm hands to your abdomen when you cramp. So why wouldn’t he take care of the hormones running rampant through your system? Kento knows you’re horny, your glances lingering over him far longer than usual and it’s not difficult to see the gears in your brain turning. He’s sweet with it, soft and gentle as he makes love to you until you’re a sleepy girl tucked up in bed leaving him to clean up any lingering mess.

Alhaitham - he finds it fascinating and simply another opportunity to further his learning and understanding of you. He finds it interesting how your mood, behaviours and even your smells change when it’s your time of the month. I definitely believe that if Alhaitham is used to being the one more often to initiate sex that he’ll be pleasantly surprised with how much more forward you become. The gleam in your eye and the sway of your hips, he misses none of it and the act itself feels all the more primal and animalistic than it usually does. It’s messy, for sure and he’s blunt enough to point it out after all is said and done but he’s quick to assure that it wouldn’t stop him from doing it again. In fact, Alhaitham is very keen to see how much more he can get out of you when your inhibitions are lowered…

#delirious writes #kiba inuzuka #bakugou katsuki #nanami kento #alhaitham #kiba smut #bakugou smut #nanami smut #alhaitham smut #genshin smut #bakugou x reader #nanami x reader #tw period sex #tw blood

[jackiequick]

TOP GUN OCs Part 3 ✈️

-> Click here to see the other parts

—

Nurse Jordana "Echo" Walker 🩺

Callsign: Echo

Age: 38

Relationship status: Divorced, Single

Background: Jordana, known as "Echo," is a skilled medical doctor in the squadron. She earned her callsign due to her exceptional diagnostic skills and the ability to provide vital medical support during missions. Her father was a renowned military surgeon, which inspired her to pursue a career in medicine.

Personality: Compassionate, charming, level-headed, and dedicated to her patients' well-being.

Lifestyle: Echo leads a fulfilling life, both personally and professionally, and is committed to her role as a doctor.

Nicknames: Her colleagues often refer to her as "Jor” or “Jordan”

Extra information: What she loves the most is getting get nails dirty and behind the wheel of a car or plane, ever since she was a child she was fancied by the way Navy pilots took the skies and feel like nothing even better once they’re above the clouds. That feeling of watching the world spin around while your frozen to your seat in the air and the adrenaline you get afterwards. 

She was flying for a while in the late 90s—early 2000s, when she saw plenty of pilots become jet washed and she didn’t like it one bit, hearing stories about plenty being injured on the job and not a lot of staff on board, so that resulted in her taking up a medical exam. A few short months later, she started working alongside nurses and doctors to help nurse pilots back to health. Which is where she met Captain Maverick Mitchell, as he was injured after flight testing and sent to the medical wing of the North Islands to get check up, he was charming and thanked her for cleaning up his wounds.

With a smile Jor told Mav, “You gotta be more careful next time, Captain.” Maverick just grinned and nodding, saying he’ll try to best more cautious even though sometimes tells him, he will be back in this medical wing a few short months later. And he was right, meeting Jor again as she was sewing his wounds near his eyebrow. That time, he brought a friend who got hurt with him. Wraith. So she had two patients to nurse back to health, thankfully they weren’t that badly affected from the crash. Just a few cuts, bumps and bruises.

It didn’t take long for Jor to meet the rest of the 86 crew members, as Hollywood, Wolfman and Slider would make appearances at the hospital along with their friends Iceman, Buzz, Valkyrie, Sunset and others. Sometimes it was for checkups, other times to see some of their friends at the clinic but sometimes they just liked hanging out with the staff. Mainly because they were good people.

Captain Apollo "Mack" McCleary🔐

Callsign: Mack

Age: 42

Background: Mack, known simply as "Mack," is a control room operator. He earned his callsign due to his impeccable skills in managing communications and mission coordination. His precision and reliability make him an essential part of the squadron.

Personality: Analytical, total sweetheart, humorous, reliable, and a natural problem-solver.

Lifestyle: Mack has a steady and disciplined lifestyle, often working long hours in the control room.

Relationship Status: Mack is married to his high school sweetheart.

Nicknames: His colleagues affectionately call him "Mac."

Extra information: Apollo has been in the multiple square areas and has been working ever since he started back in 2005 in the Navy, wanting to be apart of Blue Angels and be behind the controls. He has always been one to have honest honor and respect towards everyone around him, putting his trust and thoughts into pilots he believes who can take the heat as he navigates them from the operations center. Such as Iceman, he would give all his attention and follow his leadership, as he stands back in the frontline of the control room sending up to the skies.

But it also gets him into a lot of trouble, due to him listening to Maverick during the Darkstar Project for Mach 10! Apollo knew it was supposed to be canceled that day, but a part of him though they gone so far into the process of making a jet that can go hypersonic it was worth a final flight according to Maverick. So Mack and his team got to quick work setting everything up in the control room launching Maverick into the air as he commuted with him from the ground reaching Mach 10–but it cost him and Hondo in some trouble with Admiral Cain afterwards. Even though, Apollo got into some trouble he was secretly grinning due to the fact that they achieved that purpose for the project, running home to his high school sweetheart to tell them to the good news.

Afterwards, Hondo gave him a call telling Mack he would be sent to Top Gun to help manage communication and mission coordinations. He was humorous about the fact that he would be returning back to North Island. But he always knew that he would never have a bad reputation there, since one of his friends/lieutenants Fanboy Garcia and Payback Fitch would be sent out the same mission too. So let’s just say things got interesting when he saw how The Dagger Squad decided to challenge Maverick, because Mack was waiting for every single one of them for their push-ups with a smirk.

Mack had his arms crossed and said, “It was all shits and giggles, huh? Drop down and start giving me 10 then we’ll raise it to 20.” All the Daggers glared at him, dropping down giving him 20 push ups as Hondo grinned counting them.

Naomi "Nova" Reynolds🍻

Callsign: Nova

Age: 28

Relationship Status: Single

Background: Naomi, known as "Nova," is a bartender who owns a popular bar near the naval base. Her callsign reflects her vibrant and outgoing personality, which lights up the atmosphere in her establishment. She serves as a source of support and encouragement for the Navy personnel and fighter pilots who frequent her bar.

Personality: Charismatic, welcoming, and known for her sense of humor.

Lifestyle: Nova enjoys a social and active lifestyle, always looking to bring joy to those around her. But she also sassy, knowledgeable due to being a bartender so she knows secrets, and loves karaoke.

Nicknames: She's often referred to as "No" by her regular customers. The women know the rules for the bar set by Penny Benjamin, so she doesn’t have a problem telling people “No”, or “No roughhousing, take it outside.”

Extra information: Naomi never really knew what she wanted to do in (still doesn’t to be honest), as she always has dreams and aspirations for things but as time files so quickly it feels like those ideals weren’t coming as fast as she wanted. As Naomi always said she wanted to be a writer, a musician of some kind finding herself making stories and music, then posting them on social media for some sort of attraction. One afternoon, at The Hard Deck she decided to take a chance singing on the small stage with her old guitar and caught a few eyes.

Penny, the owner of the bar saw how nice of an impression she made on the crowd and offered her a chance to sing whenever she wants. She even asked if she was open to working at the bar as well, Naomi didn’t mind it at all and agreed to Penny’s offer. Training under her and practicing bartending. And to be honest, Naomi loved it!

Working at The Hard Deck made her smile, let her have some fixable schedules since she had an active lifestyle and socialize with brand new people everyday. It resulted in her meeting some friends such as Lucky Kenner, who she already met before she started working there, and the rest of the Daggers. Anyone who walks into the bar, she’s always the first one to greet them at the counter with a smile pouring drinks and taking orders. They would say she’s a sight for sore eyes with an encouraging enough smile.

Jeremy "Renegade" Turner 🗃

Callsign: Renegade

Age: 47

Background: Jeremy, known as "Renegade," grew up in a family with a military tradition. His father was a Navy pilot, and he followed in his footsteps. His callsign reflects his tendency to sometimes push boundaries and sometimes take unconventional approaches during missions, often against orders. Makes sense how he ended up with Maverick as a friend.

Personality: Adventurous, sarcastic and snarky, witty, a bit rebellious, and unafraid to take risks depending on the situation.

Lifestyle: Renegade is a single pilot who leads an adventurous and sometimes unpredictable life, as he’s always sent on missionary work to go undercover and investigate tasks for the Navy. Sometimes it makes him question his line of work and wonder when’s retirement for him again.

Relationship Status: Single

Nicknames: His fellow aviators often call him "Ren" for short.

Extra information: Due to him messing around with Maverick and his gang so much, it makes wonder if he needs new friends, then he remembers Iceman and Wraith are there then he feels a little better. He thinks he’s sarcastic, stubborn as hell and snarky until he met Iceman’s wife Daredevil also known as Hazel, who nicknames him Hawkeye as a joke.

Ren has been working on and off duty for years, everytime he thinks he’s off the hook or thinking retirement is on his way—BAM! He’s given new duties to watch over new records and recruits for TOP GUN, which in his opinion ain’t so bad. He actually liked the new fresh faced students at TOP GUN, being so young and spirited in the way they fly. Some are way cocky for their own good where they get in trouble with their superior officers meanwhile others are trying to keep an low profile and just learn from their own actions.

Ren being well..Ren, always try to get under their skin and see what they’re made of, in small manners. Like let’s say he’s talking to another person and a student is running in the halls, he tells them to not do that but they won’t listen. So in result, Ren would lean a foot outwards causing the student to trip and learn to not run in the hallway. “Oops..i said watch where your going!” Ren said with a little smirk.

Sometimes Ren gets dragged into the craziness of Maverick Mitchell and the others plan. Such as when he was given the role to return to Top Gun as an independent counsel with Hondo and Hazel, having to watch over the team of returning recruits for the highly competitive mission. A few of them, he trained himself being their co-instructor years back, being Payback, Phoenix, Yale and Harvard. Even met Halo once during her classes.

Ren was in charge of being the one up in the far skies and taking notes of the crews flying skills, measuring their speeding length as they went along. Having everything ready for pre and landing as well! Like said beforehand, Ren has a tendency to not always follow orders and end up regularly regretting it later depending on what it is, pushing a few boundaries when it came to Admirals. So in result, he was the one to open the hard deck without Admiral Cyclone’s permission for Maverick to fly and even a few other things.

—

Thanks for reading! Who are your favorites of the 4? Let me know in the comments below

Remember to like, share and reblog for more like this

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @starkleila @halesfavoriteharlot @missstrawbs2001 @gcthvile @mandylove1000 @rooster-84 @mallowbee4 @degenbrat @hardballoonlove @queenslandlover-93 @djs8891 @theloveoftoms @topgun-imagines @simplyscorpio @roostersforevergirl and etc

#top gun oc #top gun au #top gun maverick au #oc list #top gun maverick #tgm oc #tgm x reader #penny benjamin #naomi scott #jordana brewster #anthony mackie #mickey fanboy garcia #reuben fitch #jeremy renner #william brandt #mission impossible ghost protocol #sam wilson fic #pete mitchell fanfiction #tom iceman kazansky #top gun 1986 #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagine #top gun cast #top gun #maverick x reader #top gun headcanons

[oh-surprise-its-me]

So, everyone knows that Bradley is basically like a son to the one and only Maverick. Man's pretty much a legend, the Daggers are excited to have him as an instructor and all. Jake, on the other hand, is anonymous. Well, he got a reputation for himself, sure, but other than that? No Seresin in the Navy. He's nobody. Until, uh oh...they find out that he's not as anonymous as they think. As you called him, he's basically royalty! And knows more high officers, commanders, admirals, and a couple of retired guys too, well. Perhaps even a bit too much well. DEFINITELY, too well, how did Mav miss a whole damn kid being passed around through the whole 86 class and instructors like that?!???

Leave.it to you how they find out, or why~

Oh my god yay okay.

Threesome au bc goose is alive in that one

They decided to host a reunion at Ron’s house. They told Jake to invite the daggers. They’d really get to meet people this way.

Jake bounces down the stairs in a sweatshirt and jean shorts. He opens the door to Mav, Bradley and Goose. Carole is standing a few feet away on the phone, she waves at Jake. “Hey y’all!” Mav tilts his head he still can’t believe Tom and Ron have a kid and a husband together. Bradley pulls Jake into a hug. He gets a grin in response.

“Y’all aren’t actually the first here. Uncle Rick and Uncle Henry got here first. Same with pops actually.”

Goose and Mav blink at each other. Rick and Henry? As in Wolfman and Hollywood??

Carole sweeps into the house she presses a kiss to Jake’s head and keeps on going. “Ronnie! I need a notepad!” Jake smiles after her. Bradley tilts his head. “Lookin a lot like a rooster there Brad.” Jake gets punched in the arm.

They make their way to the backyard where Chris and Tom are on a couch together. Ron and Carole are talking on the side.

Mav blinks at the group of people. Fucking Viper is here. His evil fucking wife is too. She tried to medically discharged him so many times. Goose coughs. Mav can tell he’s trying not to laugh.

“Maverick.” Maverick straightens and shakes the hand that’s offered. “Sir. Didn’t realize you’d be here.” Viper grins at him. “Had to see my grandson.”

Chris snorts from where he’s leaned against Tom. “Please you wanted to cause issues. Scare some kids.” Viper shrugs. “A perk.” Ron comes back and passes Viper a beer, “need anything pops?” Viper shakes his head. Laura takes the blanket Ron passes to her. She tucks it’s around her and her husband.

Mav thinks maybe he’s actually lost it this time.

He catches sight of Jake being caught in a hug by Wolfman. Hollywood is watching them like this is normal.

What the hell.

There’s more voices from the house. “Javy we can’t just walk in??” Theres a laugh that’s distinctly Javy’s. “Girl when there’s this many photos of me in this house I say we can. Come on I wanna drink some of Vipers killer whiskey before Chris and Jake drink it all.”

Mav’s mouth is officially dropped open.

He puts his hands up as the rest of the daggers walk out. “How long have you all known Jake is Ron and Tom’s kid?” Chris makes a small noise of annoyance at being left out of the list but lets it pass.

Wolf speaks up first. “Years. Met him after top gun. Chris and I got along quite well cause of the Texas thing. Got stationed out there when Jake was about two. Took care of him some weekends.” Holly nods and sticks his hand in Wolf’s back pocket. “This kid loves Batman more then you’ll ever know.”

Jake flushes red. Bradley pokes his side with a head tilt.

Mav points at Javy. “You two grew up together? You knew how famous his dads are?” Javy shrugs. “They were always just Jakes dads until I went into the navy.”

Bob raises his hand. “I knew Ron had a kid but didn’t know it was Jake?” Phoenix blinks at the two of them. “What the hell Jake.”

Jake shrugs. “In my defense I almost didn’t go navy so like it only means something cause I’m a pilot. Also pops wanted me to get a degree before joining.”

Viper nods from where he’s sitting. “Sports medicine. Good kid.”

Goose finally speaks up from where he’s been watching. “Carole did you know. You seem very calm.” She shrugs. “Didn’t know but I do know how Facebook works. Y’all could know too.”

Jake snorts from where his slipped under Bradley’s arm. “She’s right you know.” Goose points at Viper. “You’re his pops?”

Viper shakes his head. “Jake as a baby didn’t quite understand DADT he called Ron papa and Chris dada right in front of me. Called Tom tata I just didn’t know what it meant. They freaked but they were two of the best pilots. I didn’t care if they loved each other. They can still fly.”

Laura pats his hand and nods. “Our daughter has an incredible wife. They have an organic farm.”

Mav blinks at the beer bottle that appeared in front of him. “Drink Mav. You’re gonna need it.” Bradley passes one over to goose as well.

“How was this kept a secret from us the entire time?” Everyone looks around guilty at least. It’s Tom who answers this. “Wasn’t intentional Mav. Just kept it quiet. A lot of people didn’t know. Still don’t sometimes. Wasn’t always sure I could trust you.”

Mav winces yeah okay that hurts. Goose blinks at the two wingmen. “You two kept a whole secret husband and kid I’m impressed.” Chris laughs. “They kinda sucked at it back in Texas. Got lucky we stayed in a small town who needed firefighters more then homophobia.”

Jake laughs. “Bit of an understatement dad.”

Mav nods. What else can he do besides nod. He sits in the chair closest to him. It puts him directly next to Viper. “You look good old man.” Viper grins at him. “I am good. Too good to be true.”

All of the daggers mouths drop open they can’t believe Jake stole that from his grandpa.

They all latch onto the respective 1986 pilots. Asking so many questions. Mav decides to interview Wolfman about knowing Jake for so long. Shockingly it sounds like Jake was an incredible kid.

Goose looks around a sees Bradley and Jake talking on the couch. Cute. Reminds him of him and Ron. They’ll work though. Jake flies solo. Bradley flies better then goose ever did.

#ron slider kerner #chris seresin #tom iceman kazansky #top gun #jake hangman seresin #slider is jake's dad au #top gun 1986 #ron x chris x tom #tom x ron x chris #so many extra people #i hope this is coherent #dagger squad #*shocked pikachu face* #jake is an incredible person around us parents #viper got that kid so many Christmas presents #mac writes top gun

[topguncortez]

WIPS list game

you know the drill: create a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP file folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it. thanks for the tag: @a-reader-and-a-writer

Not going to lie, this took probably longer than it needed because A) I am the least organized when it comes to WIPs and B) idk how to title shit but hey! I did organize this for y'all!

Jake “Hangman” Seresin 

Stop 

Body Love 

Date Night 

Distant Attraction 

Opposites Attract Pt 4 

Sick 

“Stay with Me” (whump event)

Bad Medicine (potential new series) 

Robert “Bob” Floyd 

Frost

Hold My girl 

One More Night 

Only Fans 

Terrified 

Collapse (whump event)

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw 

Rooster and Dragon pt 2

The First Heartbreak 

I Ain’t Scared 

Betrayal (whump event)

Hidden Injury (Whump event) 

Natasha “Phoenix” Trace 

Out

Tears (whump event) 

Beau “Cyclone” Simpson 

Self Care

“Don’t Do This” (whump event) 

Pete “Maverick” Mitchell

Lost Child 

Baby Daddy

Bruises (whump event)

Nick “Goose” Bradshaw 

Are You With Me 

Mav’s Sister

Burns (whump event) 

Henry “Wolfman” Ruth 

Stranded (whump event) 

Wolf as a dad 

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky 

Baby Ice 

Stay 

Iceman 

Grief (whump event)

tagging: @sweetlittlegingy @seresinsbabe @sunlightmurdock @roosterscock and anyone else who wants to do it!

#WIPs game #tag game #ask game

[empressofthelibrary]

Hand kisses

Hualei chopped vegetables to the rhythm of the song on the radio, quietly humming along.

She glanced up from her work, watching her boyfriend grumpily flick through channels on the TV, sprawled on the couch. The late afternoon sunlight poured through the window and caught in his thick silver-blonde hair, so that it almost seemed to glow. A soft smile crossed her face, thinking about how nice it would be to help him brush it out that evening.

She and Kui Mulang hadn't been together very long, really. A few weeks at most. But after he'd broken ties with the guy who'd been pretending to be the mayor of Megalopolis a couple years back, he hadn't had anywhere else to turn once the dust settled. Mei and her family were still unsure about trusting him. And frankly, Hualei couldn't blame her friends for that. A giant wolfman tries to eat your soul and then your pig-dad, and then he shacks up with your friend? She wasn't sure she'd trust Kui herself if she was in Mei's shoes.

But Mei didn't know Kui like she did. All the others knew was the cold, stoic exterior he showed the world. They hadn't seen him get invested in her soap operas, heard him laugh, or seen the quiet wonder in his eyes as some mundane experience knocked him off his feet.

They didn't know the side of him Hualei did. The side she was falling in love with. They'd agreed to take things slow, to get to know one another again as new people -- no longer the Yellow-Robed Demon and Princess Hundred Flowers, but as Kui and Hualei, the people they were in the here and now. It was only logical, after all, only fair.

But sometimes Hualei had to talk herself out of carrying him off to the nearest courthouse herself.

"Ow!" Hualei drew her hand back, a line of red down her finger. "Aw, frick," she grumbled, scooping the contaminated veggies off the cutting board and into the trash. "I hate wasting stuff like that." Sighing, she turned the sink on and started to rinse the cut.

"Beloved?" There was a presence at her back, strong arms wrapping around her. "I smell blood. Are you hurt? What happened?"

Hualei smiled sheepishly. "Got lost in thought while I was making dinner. Nicked my finger with the knife, that's all."

Wordlessly, Kui's hand wrapped around her wrist, lifting the injured digit for his inspection. "The cut is small, but I've seen men die of less. Where is the medicine kit?"

Hualei nodded downward, towards the sink. "In the cabinet here, the white box. I was halfway to it when you caught me," she teased, leaning her head back against Kui's shoulder to smile up at him.

Kui let go of Hualei long enough to crouch and open the cabinet door. His fingertips still grazed her side, like he was reluctant to lose contact completely.

"Kui, I promise I'm fine." Hualei let the wolf-demon pull her hand to him, his thumb running careful arcs over the back. "It's not a big deal." She couldn't help but smile at the serious expression on his face, the focus in his eyes as he picked up the box of bandages and read the instructions.

"You're injured," Kui insisted. "It's a 'big deal' to me." He drew a bandage out of the box and opened the envelope slowly, carefully wrapping it around Hualei's index finger. He didn't let go once the bandage was in place. Instead they stood there, Kui holding Hualei's hand up between them, cradling it in both of his.

"I'd searched for you for centuries, Beloved," he admitted quietly. "It had been long enough that... That I'd begun to lose faith. I'd feared you hadn't reincarnated, and that you were lost to me forever." His golden eyes were focused on her hand, intense with emotion. "I feared I would never see your face again, never hear your voice." Gently, he pressed his lips to the injury. "I cannot lose you again."

Hualei's heart lurched, electricity singing along her nerves. The gentle way he treated her, the way he looked at her with such devotion... She wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of her life, and every one after that.

She stepped closer, free hand reaching to tuck a lock of hair behind Kui's pointed ear. "You won't, I promise. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Her hand landed on his cheek, and the demon leaned into the touch. The arm that wasn't holding Hualei's wrapped around her waist instead, pulling her as close to him as possible.

"I love you, my Prince," Hualei murmured. "And I'll never leave your side."

#Hualei (lmk oc) #Kui Mulang (lmk) #the biggest thing keeping me from writing more of these two is the lack of a bigger villain to attach Kui to for his heel-face turn

[horrocious]

9 for the song ask :)

it's pretty new but Wolfman of the Ozarks by Old Crow Medicine Show always makes me at least a dozen percentage points happier

#ask horrocious #ask meme

[fireworkss-exe]

this au is for @audrey-simps-for-seymour !!

During the total eclipse of the sun, Audrey is cleaning up at Mushnik's when she notices a strange plant appear- it looks more like a rose, but still similar to how "our" Twoey looks like

Since Seymour is out, Audrey goes to Mr. Mushnik first about the mysterious plant she found. Mr. Mushnik is initially skeptical and believes it's just something that Seymour forgot to bring inside, but upon further investigation, Mr. Mushnik realizes how odd the plant looks and decides to tell Seymour about it

When Seymour gets back from the wholesale flower district, Audrey shows him the plant she found. Seymour wants to study it, but Audrey politely declines, telling him she thinks the plant was destined to come her way

Audrey names the plant "Miriam" after her late mother. When Audrey takes the plant home, she accidentally pricks one of her fingers on its unusually sharp thorns, and the plant seemingly soaks up Audrey's blood. Horrified but pitying the plant (in its early stages, it acts something like a cat), Audrey decides to continue feeding it. She doesn't tell Seymour because she doesn't want him to worry for her. Audrey ends up storing Miriam in a large closet and only goes in to feed the plant- or talk to it, since she feels like it's the only being who she can vent to about Orin's abuse

Seymour's arc goes as it usually does. Meanwhile, Audrey is enduring two drains on her wellbeing- Miriam's appetite and Orin's physical and mental abuse. Audrey starts getting sicker and sicker, but is unable to get any medical care due to A. her fear that Orin will punish her for revealing his abuse, and B. the fact that she can't afford medical care at all

Eventually, Miriam grows to quite a large size, and starts to speak to Audrey, demanding more food (just like in "Feed Me,"). This occurs after Audrey has just come home from a particularly traumatizing night with Orin, so Miriam believes it's easier to manipulate her. Audrey ultimately agrees to kill Orin, but she puts up a bigger fight than Seymour did in "Feed Me"

In the script for LSOH, it describes Twoey's voice as "a cross between Otis Redding, Barry White, and Wolfman Jack." I feel like Miriam would sound something like Eartha Kitt

Audrey is able to kill Orin by slipping sedatives into the scotch he's drinking on one of their dates. The medicine starts to act just as soon as he takes her to her house, and she bludgeons him to death with a piece of metal pipe she has

This is happening around the same time Seymour would've been looking for Orin, so Seymour flies into a panic, fearing he won't be able to feed Twoey

Audrey uses the lot behind Mushnik's to chop up Orin's body, but when Mr. Mushnik walks by, he thinks it's Seymour because Audrey was "too sweet and kind" to do such a thing (and because it was really really dark in the lot)

"Call Back In the Morning- Suppertime" plays out as usual, but Seymour is panicking over Orin's disappearance because he didn't have the motivation to kill anyone else other than Orin. Seymour suspects the Mafia took Orin out, and doesn't believe Audrey could've done anything due to her extremely weak state

Soon, Miriam grows too big for the closet it's stored in, and pulls itself out into Audrey's living room. It demands more and more, and Audrey, traumatized over the literal murder she's committed, decides to head to Mushnik's to investigate if Twoey is just as bloodthirsty as Miriam. Audrey worries that Seymour's undergoing a similar situation, but she can't find him anywhere

Twoey, who's only eaten Mushnik at this point, starts intimidating Audrey like in "Suppertime (Reprise)", but Audrey's having none of it. She starts to attack Twoey with the same axe she used to dismember Orin, but Twoey's bigger and stronger and disarms her. Audrey gives up out of exhaustion and lets Twoey eat her, believing she deserves it for murdering Orin. Seymour comes in at the last second, but, just like in the original story, Audrey is mortally wounded and can't be saved

In her dying moments, Audrey doesn't tell Seymour to feed her to the plant- she confesses to the murder of Orin and tells Seymour that Miriam was putting her through something very similar to what Twoey was doing. The rest of the show plays out as usual, but with two very large man-eating plants on the loose, it doesn't seem like humanity has a chance at all…

#lsoh #little shop of horrors #lsoh au #little shop of horrors au #tw death #death tw #abuse tw #tw abuse #tw misogyny #misogyny tw

[minusgangtime]

T-Thanks..

(She said,blushing slightly before putting beta on the couch.)

Now,does your knee hurt at all do you need medicine? Or a bandaid?

-wolfman Shelby

"Maybe a bandaid... But I'm okay!"

#fnf ask #ask

[thatsrightice]

*Maverick, Merlin, Hollywood, Wolfman, Slider, and Iceman in their bunk room with some “medicinal” alcohol after saving the SS Layton*

Slider: You’re telling me you’ve never broken the sound barrier? Not even on accident?

Maverick: Nope. I’ve stolen a jet and buzzed seven towers now but I have never broken the sound barrier

Merlin: How do you accidentally break the sound barrier???

Hollywood: It’s a lot easier to do than you’d think

Wolfman: What about you Iceman? Ever accidentally broken the sound barrier?

Slider: Who do you think he is, some amateur? He would never break the sound barrier on accident

Iceman: Yeah, I only ever break the sound barrier on purpose

Maverick: *chokes on his drink*

#maverick.exe has stopped working #cue slider cackling in the corner #how to break maverick in 2 steps #step 1: be iceman #step 2: do something you’re probably not supposed to #iceman doesn’t break rules he exploits them and finds loop holes #iceman is just better at not getting caught #just a little thing I wrote #top gun #tom iceman kazansky #ron slider kerner #sam merlin wells #rick hollywood neven #leonard wolfman wolfe #pete maverick mitchell #incorrect top gun quotes #top gun 1986 #tom kazansky #top gun iceman #iceman #pete mitchell #icemav #my boys #love this crew

[psychreviews2]

Case Studies: The 'Wolfman' - Sigmund Freud Pt. 2

Early memories

Serge's autobiography The Wolf-Man by the Wolf-Man described a lot of challenges that would affect any person, not just him, and is a good companion piece to Freud's paper. His earliest memories included memories of illness. "I dimly remember that it was summer and I was lying in the garden, and although I had no pain I felt extremely miserable, because of the high fever, I suppose...I have been told that in my early childhood I was a quiet almost phlegmatic child, but that my character changed completely after the arrival of the English governess, Miss Oven. Although she was with us only a few months, I became a very nervous, irritable child, subject to severe temper tantrums."

Another memory was of Serge's parents who went on a trip abroad. "My parents were often away, my sister and I were left mostly under the supervision of strangers, and even when our parents were home we had little contact with them." His parents left "both Miss Oven and my Nanya to our maternal grandmother, who unfortunately did not really assume this responsibility." Later on Serge called Miss Oven "a severe psychopath or often under the influence of alcohol...I can remember, and our grandmother confirmed this, that angry quarrels broke out between my Nanya and me on the one side and Miss Oven on the other. Evidently Miss Oven kept teasing me, and knew how to arouse my fury, which must have given her some sort of sadistic satisfaction." 

Serge's memories, like for most people, shift and change. Certain underlying patterns of who he liked or disliked would remain the same, but details like the story that scared him in Freud's analysis The Wolf and the seven little kids morphed into a similar story Little Red Riding Hood. "Unlike me, Anna got on with Miss Oven fairly well, and even seemed to enjoy it when Miss Oven teased me. Anna began to imitate Miss Oven and teased me, too. Once she told me she would show me a nice picture of a pretty little girl. I was eager to see this picture, but Anna covered it with a piece of paper. When she finally took the piece of paper away, I saw, instead of a pretty little girl, a wolf standing on it's hind legs with his jaws wide open, about to swallow Little Red Riding Hood. I began to scream and had a real temper tantrum. Probably the cause of this outburst of rage was not so much my fear of the wolf as my disappointment and anger at Anna for teasing me."

Serge described his mother in a more adult sense. "Although she did not suffer from depression, in her youth she...imagined she had various illnesses which she did not have at all. In fact she lived to a considerable age of eighty-seven...Since my mother, as a young woman, was so concerned about her health, she did not have much time left for us. But if my sister or I was ill, she became an exemplary nurse. She stayed with us almost all the time and saw to it that our temperature was taken regularly and our medicine given us at the right time." Serge learned about religion from his mother and Nanya. His doubts about God's omnipotence, not being able to stop evil, made him feel guilty that it was a terrible sin to doubt. Not knowing if there was a God or not influenced Serge to play it safe with faith. Ambivalence between faith and reason was with him throughout his life.

Another important memory related to Serge's sister is in the autobiography. "My sister and I both liked to draw. At first we used to draw trees, and I found Anna's way of drawing little round leaves particularly attractive and interesting. But not wanting to imitate her I soon gave up tree drawing. I began to draw horses true to nature, but unfortunately every horse I drew looked more like a dog or a wolf than a real horse." Serge lived on an estate that grew crops and raised sheep. The white wolves, who looked more like sheep dogs, may have influenced his dream. His memory of those sheep was that 200,000 of them were inoculated with a wrong serum and died.

The Wanderer

Between Serge's parents wandering around and he himself involved in moves, he was a wanderer from the beginning. I found photos of his former estate, Dubiecki Manor, that was purchased by his father one year before Serge's birth. It's a ruin now in modern Ukraine, nicknamed The Wolf Lair, but one can imagine the tree he saw out the window, like a Freudian psycho-archaeologist. Which window did he look out of? What were the walnut trees like back then? "We lived on an estate where I was born only in the winter. Our summer home was in Tyerni, a few miles away. Every spring we moved to Tyerni, and our luggage followed us in numerous wagons. In Tyerni, we had a big country house in a beautiful old park. Trips between the estate on the Dnieper and Tyerni took place during the summer."

The big emotional move for Serge was his first permanent move south. "We moved to Odessa when I was five years old. At that time there were no train connections between our estate and Odessa. One had first to take a little river boat down the Dnieper to Kherson, which took the entire night. Then one had to spend a day and a night in Kherson, and early the following morning continue the journey to Odessa, this time on a larger ship able to weather the possible storms on the Black Sea...My father bought a villa in Odessa, opposite the municipal park which extended to the shore of the Black Sea. This villa had been built by an Italian architect in the style of the Italian Renaissance. Almost at the same time my father acquired a large estate in southern Russia...Only after we were living in Odessa did I learn that my father had sold our estate. I cried and felt most unhappy that our life on the estate, where we were so close to nature, had come to an end, and I would now have to get used to a large and strange city. I learned later from my mother that my father, too, soon regretted the sale, as after a few years our former estate became a city. This recognition that he had made a mistake is said to have precipitated my father's first attack of melancholia."

"A few years later my father purchased a second estate in White Russia of about 130,000 acres. It bordered on the Pripet River, a tributary of the Dnieper. Although White Russia lay in the western part of Russia bordering on Poland and Lithuania, it was at the time, especially in comparison with southern Russia, a very backward region. Primeval forests, ponds, lakes large and small, and many bogs impressed one as a remnant of nature still untouched by man. There were wolves in the forests. Several times every summer a wolf-hunt was organized by the peasants of adjacent villages. During my high school  years, I spent a part of my summer holidays on this estate in White Russia and felt myself transposed into the past of hundreds of years ago."

Serge described his uncles and their different personalities. "Alexis, was a sickly man whose first marriage went on the rocks and ended in divorce. He then married a Polish woman and had two sons. This second marriage was a very happy one. Uncle Alexis was a quiet and unassuming man who kept busy looking after his estate and playing chess, his great hobby. He did this in a thoroughly scientific fashion, one might say."

This uncle went from sad to happy, but unfortunately his other uncle went in the opposite direction. Uncle Peter, had a sunny happy disposition, but "soon [he] began to show signs of most peculiar behaviour and to express himself no less strangely. At first his brothers were simply amused, as they did not take his changed behaviour seriously and considered it merely harmless whims. But soon they, too, realized that this was a serious matter. The famous Russian psychiatrist Korsakoff was consulted, who, alas, diagnosed this as the beginning of a genuine paranoia. So Uncle Peter was confined in a closed institution. However, as he had a large state in the Crimea, his brothers finally arranged for him to be taken there where he lived many years as a hermit. Although Uncle Peter had studied agriculture, he later wished to devote himself exclusively to historical research. All these plans, of course, came to nothing, because of his delusions of persecution."

Nanya ended up living as a pensioner with the family, as well as a French governess who seemed to know the secret of happiness, which is concentration. "We visited her from time to time and always found her in the best of spirits. One never had the feeling that she was unhappy or lonely, as she was always busy with little things that absorbed her entire attention."

New Year's Day Guided Meditation: https://rumble.com/v1gvmab-new-years-day-guided-meditation.html

Another influence in Serge's religious life was an Austrian tutor who was an atheist. Being around him allowed Serge to accept that his religious doubts were personal and it was up to us individually to decide if we want to have faith. The problem with Serge was how to deal with the transference, that for so many people, keeps them feeling secure. "...What filled the vacuum thus created?...Perhaps it was a mistake that I took the loss of my religion too lightly, and thus created a vacuum which was only partially and inadequately filled." This would be a deep question that would resound for the rest of his life. How does one stop the search for a parental replacement and feel secure with oneself? The aimlessness wasn't affecting only Serge. His sister Anna seemed to feel isolated and lost.

Anna's trip

"During the two weeks which Anna spent with me on our estate I did not notice anything extraordinary in her behaviour. It struck me as strange, however, that she suggested that I accompany her to the Caucasus, although she knew that I had enrolled in the Law School of Odessa University and that the lectures were just about to begin. When I mentioned this to Anna, she did not insist but she made me promise to write her a letter one week after her departure. This also seemed somewhat strange to me, but I did not attribute any special significance to her request...I saw Anna off at the boat which was to take her and her companion to Novorossysk in the northern Caucasus. We took leave of each other this time with very special warmth. As the steamer took off from the dock, Anna stood in the stern of the ship and waved to me until I lost sight of her. I stayed on the dock a while longer, watching the steamer as it left the harbor and moved out into the open sea." 

"Exactly one week after Anna's departure, I wrote her a letter as I had promised. Two or three weeks later we received news that Anna had fallen severely ill, and soon after came the news of her death...We later learned that my sister had taken poison. Following this she had suffered severe pains for two days, but nevertheless she had not told anybody what she had done. Only when the pain had become unbearable did she ask for a doctor. When he arrived she showed him the little bottle which had contained mercury and which had a warning label of a skull on the outside. Apparently this bottle had come from the laboratory which Anna had setup at home for her studies in natural science. Now after attempting suicide she wanted to go on living. There are evidently cases in which you have to be face to face with death to regain your interest in life and your desire to live. At first it looked as if the doctors had succeeded in saving Anna, and she was even said to be out of danger. But after two weeks heart failure set in and caused her death."

After the shock of her death Serge ruminated on reasons why she would do that. "In our childhood it had been said that Anna should not have been born a girl but a boy. She had great will power and a strong sense of direction, and she always succeeded in evading the influence and the authority of her governesses. As she was growing up, Anna's feminine traits began to appear. Apparently she could not cope with them and they turned into pathological inferiority complexes. She was enchanted with the classical ideal of beauty with which she contrasted herself. She imagined that she had no feminine charm, which was not at all true, and that if a man were to marry her he would do so for the sake of her money only, since she felt, among other things, that she was not attractive to anyone."

Rich Woman - Plant and Krauss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52YxdYmLq24

Late in life during his interview with Karin, Serge recounted more details of his sister. "She was aggressive, and that is the reason the complex did not go away, somehow continued to have effects...There was a childhood seduction when she played with my member. That's something very important when it happens in childhood. I was very small when this seduction took place. It must have been before my fifth birthday because my father sold that estate when I was five. I can remember that we had sat down between the doors and she played with my penis. But must that necessarily have such consequences, or is it already a sign of sickness that something like that has consequences? Perhaps it also happened to other little boys and had no effect, I don't know.

O: Most children do have sexual experiences.

W: So you see, that sort of thing happens, it's no reason for someone to turn into a neurotic. It had no consequences. I'll admit that it wasn't as systematic as what my sister did. But you see, when we looked at those pictures of naked women, I pressed a little against her...Freud describes that...I remember that I felt like expressing something sexual and moved closer to my sister. In any event, she got up and left...It was normal. She couldn't have done anything else, otherwise it would really have been incest. It should not have such consequences...and that must not happen between brother and sister...and that should have put an end to the matter. Well, this sister complex is really the thing that ruined my entire life. For those women who resemble my sister, I mean as regards social position or education, well, that was incest again. There may also be an inheritance of these psychological illnesses, but we won't discuss that...All she ever really did was sit around with a book. She had no interest whatever in clothes. She really should have been a man. It is a mystery to me why my sister killed herself. She was so talented. I cannot remember my sister except reading. She always said that she was no classical beauty. But then, who is? She certainly wasn't ugly. Do you remember her picture? She was fairly pretty. She did nothing for her appearance, nothing. And then that horrible death, mercury. It was horrible torture, her teeth fell out. Why does someone do a thing like that?...There would have been people to take an interest, but she didn't care for them, and then she always thought they wanted her for her money." Later Serge recounts an important story of his sister running away with the daughter of the chief gardener. They had the idea that they wanted to hire themselves out as maids. She later said "'being a maid is really the best profession. You do your work and the rest of the time is on your own...' It could be said that Anna's tragedy, in spite of her intellectual gifts, consisted in her attempt to suppress her female nature and that she failed in this attempt. Of course, I am referring not to conscious acts but to a mechanism entirely hidden from her conscious mind."

Grief travel

After Anna's death Serge noticed his father move his interest from his daughter to him. Serge also had depression and thoughts of suicide. "I had fallen into such a state of melancholy after Anna's death that there seemed to be no purpose in living, and nothing in the world seemed worth striving for. In such a state of mind one can hardly interest oneself in anything." He eventually changed his choice of studies in University and decided to take a trip to the Caucasus to improve his emotional state, and tagging along was a family acquaintance. He was enthusiastic about the region and owned property, 'a Green Cape', in Batum. The trip started in Novorossysk and "from Novorossysk we preceded by train to Kislovdsk, then a fashionable spa in the north Caucasus, famous for it's carbonic acid baths. From there we took a side trip by horse and buggy to Bermamut, a high spot offering the best view of the Elbrus, the highest mountain in the whole Caucasus. We started very early and arrived at Bermamut toward evening, under a cloudless, transparent sky. There we found a small, deserted mountain hut, furnished with only a few wooden benches. This hut was perched on the edge of a vast, seemingly bottomless abyss. Opposite us, like a gigantic sugar loaf towering to the sky stood the majestic Elbrus, which we could admire in all its greatness and glory. The valley separating us from the Elbrus extended on either side into immeasurable distance, and on both sides one saw more and more towering, snow covered peaks and steep rocky cliffs reaching down into the depths. Unique as the site was, my depressed state prevented me from really enjoying it or feeling any enthusiasm. Just when we were in Kislovodsk something occurred to me to deepen my already melancholy mood: namely doubts as to whether my decision to change my course of study was a sensible one. So I started weighing all the pros and cons, but without reaching any satisfactory conclusion. Always immersed in my own thoughts, I was not easily accessible to impressions from outside the world, and I experienced everything I saw as unreal and dreamlike."

"There were other similar spas near Kislovodsk, such as the sulfur springs of Pyatigorsk...[it] was famous not for only its sulfur springs, but also not far from there Lermontov, the second greatest poet of Russia, was killed in a duel. This alone was sufficient for me to visit Pyatigorsk." Lermontov who insulted a man named Martinov and his clothing, and didn't know he overheard him, was challenged to a duel. "Lermontov, being first, fired into the air, but his adversary, declining reconciliation, took sharp aim. His bullet hit Lermontov in the abdomen. Just at this moment a terrible thunderstorm broke out, and the critically wounded man could only be taken to Pyatigorsk only with great difficulty and after a long delay. No physician dared to leave his house in this frightful storm, and medical care could not be obtained in time. Lermontov died three or four days later from his severe wound. He was only twenty eight years old. [We] visited the spot where the duel had taken place. It was a meadow like any other at the foot of a wooded hill from which a beautiful view opened to the lonely mountain Maschuk which, standing apart from the other four mountains, looked like a pointed rock springing out of the plain. Hearing that among the sights of Pyatigorsk there was also a so-called Lermontov Grotto. We went to see it." Serge identified with Lermontov because a friend once said that he looked like him.  Identification can be a lot of fun, but pathological if morbid elements are imitated too much, like tragic deaths. Lermontov had a bad end, his sister also had a bad end in the Caucasus, and Serge was veering in that self-destructive path.

After visiting the grotto, their trip became more rugged as they ascended to the glaciers on Mount Kasbek by mule starting from Vladikavkaz. "We rode our mules along a steep, rocky cliff, narrowly skirting the edge of an abyss several hundred meters deep. It was not pleasant to be haunted by the thought that if the animal made the slightest false step you would be hurled into the abyss. But the mules went so cautiously, at a slow and sure pace, that we could not help wondering at them." In a grief travel, the trip is more about dealing with emptiness and loss than to relax and have a good time. Anybody who traveled to escape, especially on long arduous journeys should identify with Serge's masochism and grief. "I am one of those people who feel drawn toward the depths as to a magnet. The anxiety which then overcomes one is primarily directed against this power of attraction, which one has to fight in order not to succumb to it." After an extended stay where Serge's friend caught up with his friends and acquaintances, they continued on the Georgian Military Highway. Along the highway Serge found a place where he could paint. "I got out my paintbox and oil paints from my suitcase and went to the nearer bank of the mountain stream Terek. It did not take long to find a suitable subject, as a very beautiful view opened in front of me after I had taken a few steps. I sat down on my stool and tried to transfer to my canvas the impression of the swift flowing river and the majestic mount Kasbek towering in the background...This was the first time I had done so well with a landscape, and it was the beginning of my activities as a landscape painter."

As they moved out of the mountains they descended into a vast steppe with a warmer climate. "It led soon into a fertile valley, in which corn and wheat fields spread out in all directions, with vineyards and orchards appearing on the hillsides. This cheerful southern landscape was in sharp contrast to the grim mountain world we had just left...We spent one night in Kutais and the next evening boarded the train for Tiflis, now Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia...I noticed that in Tiflis there were already electric streetcars, something which did not yet exist in Odessa...As the heat was becoming uncomfortable in Tiflis, we decided after a few days to proceed to Borshom, a health resort in the mountains not far away. Before leaving Tiflis, we took the funicular to the top of a small mountain in the vicinity to the enjoy the beautiful view over Tiflis and its surroundings. Altogether Tiflis made the impression of a handsome and modern town. This applied, however, only to the section called the European, for Tiflis on those days consisted of two separate districts, the European and the Oriental. The latter had all the characteristics of the Orient, with its shouting sidewalk merchants, its turmoil, and its colorful confusion. Borshom, apart from the advantages of its climate, was famous for the mineral water of its springs, which was used all over Russia as a drinking water, similar to Seltzer or Preblauer water in Germany. The landscape there impressed me by its gentleness and reminded me of places in the foothills of the Alps. The mountains were wooded and of moderate height, the meadows were green, and - a rare thing in the Caucasus in those days - the streets and roads were in good condition. After the heat of Tiflis, Borshom's fresh, invigorating air was most gratifying."

Their trip continued from Abastuman to Batum, their final destination. "Batum, situated on the shore of the Black Sea in the southwest corner of the Caucasus, is surrounded by mountains on its other three sides. One finds there eucalyptus and yew, myrtle, cactus, and various palm-like plants. The whole region is characterized by its luxuriant vegetation. Although summer had passed its height by by the time we reached Batum, there was, an oppressive mugginess. The air was not only warm but also very humid, and a thick, sweltering haze always hung over this exotic-looking countryside. Now I had the occasion to inspect personally the 'Green Cape' about which [my friend] had raved so much. It was a garden with some sort of weekend bungalow and it had nothing to do with a real 'cape,' which I had visualized as a promontory jutting out into the sea. We bathed in the sea twice a day but we nevertheless suffered so much from the humid, sultry heat that even [my friend] was not opposed to to my idea of starting our return trip somewhat sooner than originally planned. So after a week we embarked for Odessa and arrived there after a five day-sea voyage."

The waxy perception of narcissism

Despite having an amazing vacation, when major decisions are postponed, they have to be faced. When Serge returned from his holiday, he still had to decide on his vocation. He talked to his father in sessions lasting hours to figure out his problem. "...after a few days my father was succumbing to the devastating ambivalence and was even infected by it." Eventually he chose Law because his attempt to move to the Natural Sciences was more out of avoidance than actual interest. He moved to St. Petersburg with an uncle to continue his studies. He still had depressions and his father setup a meeting with his old doctor for him. "He is inhibited...he cannot get out of himself...I believe the best thing for him would be if he could fall in love." He tried to get involved in St. Petersburg life. Dating, museums, and lectures left him "in a state of indifference or boredom...There was too crass a contrast between the pulsating life around me and the bottomless, unbridgeable gulf of emptiness within myself." He eventually asked his father for advice on a sanatorium for him to really deal with this problem, which at the time was diagnosed as manic-depression, like his father was diagnosed. He consulted with Professor Bekhterev in Petersburg, Kraepelin in Munich, and Ziehen in Berlin. He met is love Therese in one of the sanatoriums in Munich, who was a nurse. But in regards to the success of improving his mental stability, he briefly felt better only to relapse, as was his prior pattern. He then describes the classic description of what narcissism does to your perception. "Then I found life empty, everything had seemed 'unreal', to the extent that people seemed like wax figures or wound up marionettes with whom I could not establish any contact."

When your mind is preoccupied with success, status, and advancement, and strategies of how to get there, there is a loss of appreciation of what is around you. It looks hollow because most of the environment is drained of meaning for your goals. The environment is taken for granted or is viewed as an obstacle. His "veil" was made of dreams and hopes projected onto an environment, like a fog separating one from reality. Narcissism can happen to anyone, but when the pathology is severe, it's a regular state of mind. Being lost in possibilities for power, control and managing fears of uncertainty, covers over your perception in the here and now. It can also act as a barrier to appreciation. You can see that in a prior video that includes some of Heidegger's meditation practices which was in response to the narcissistic method of Nietzsche. I still have to read more Nietzsche and Heidegger, but what it looks like now is that Nietzsche's method can easily turn into narcissism, with that style of rumination over success and power, and Heidegger blamed Nietzsche for that influence which lead him to his ultimate involvement with Nazism and all the rumination about power that it entails. As I read more, it could be a misreading that some people did when they read Nietzsche, or an inevitable consequence of obsessive self-development. The problem with self-development is that one is constantly seeking future improvements and getting addicted to only thinking about that. There has to be a balance between planning in your mind and appreciation in the moment. [See: How to motivate yourself - The Being of Beings: https://rumble.com/v1gv3zl-how-to-motivate-yourself-freud-and-beyond.html]

One of Serge's goals he was ruminating about was developing a relationship with his, then not yet wife Therese. He pursued her, but kept his desire secret from other nurses and doctors. He tried to meet her at Nymphenburg park, but was stood up while he waited into the night. He still pursued her. She eventually consented to walk in the English park with him and talk about her family, and her German and Spanish background. Her calm demeanor with her tragedies, such as her divorce, made her more attractive to him. He focused on finding rooms to rent to privately meet with her, but she rejected him to focus on nursing and her daughter Else. Serge was so depressed that he swallowed a handful of sleeping tablets, but in the end it did no more damage other than making him wake up more slowly. He still tried to meet with Therese only to get another rejection via a letter. Kraepelin and other doctors suggested that he focus on getting out of his manic-depression instead of pursuing Therese. Serge left the sanatorium and stayed at the Bayerischer Hof and pleaded with Therese to see her at least one last time before leaving Munich to never see her again. Later Serge welcomed a visit from his mother, who was able to soothe his ups and downs. They briefly went to Lake Constance where Serge's painful nostalgia returned. The location evoked "an aura of the remote past, and it seemed to me as if the spirit...was still hovering over the place. All this invited meditation about the evanescence and futility of human passion and striving, and about the wisdom of resignation." 

Manic depression

Spending time with his family abroad, resuscitated Serge's positivity. Serge told his uncle in Paris of his love affair with Therese. "It was certainly fortunate for me to be in a city like Paris, where the quick pulse of life and even the sight of the streets helped to distract me." On the question of Therese his uncle chimed in. "He thought that it was not a question of 'love' but merely of 'passion' and expressed the opinion that in the view of all these complications at the beginning, no good could have come of it in the future. What is the thing to do if a young man is unhappily in love or if the object of choice seems objectionable to the family? One tries to divert his attention to other women. So my uncle advised me to frequent night clubs and cabarets where plenty of beautiful women 'for one night' were to be found." He also gave him connections to Odessa society ladies.

When Serge returned to Odessa, he waited for his father to return from Moscow. "But more than two weeks passed...Then came a telegram from Moscow with the news that my father had suddenly died." He wanted to go to the theater but a violent storm made him return to the hotel. He was found dead in his bed in the hotel the next day, despite being young and considered in good health. Crucially Serge surmised that "it is true that he suffered from insomnia and regularly took veronal before going to sleep. Perhaps his premature death was due to an overdose of this sleeping medicine." Serge received a condolence letter from Therese who found out what happened. After the funeral and the process of disposing the will, Serge got into arguments with his mother and her secretiveness. He wasn't to get his portion of the inheritance until the age of 28, but it was understandable due to his mental condition.

With this disappointment, Serge moved on with his life, and resumed his painting. He also took lessons. Some of his paintings got recognition, but he fell back into indecision about focusing on painting or continuing his law studies. Eventually he went back to Kraepelin to notify him of his father's death. Serge looked at himself now as a "hereditary case", but there was also a silver lining because he would be close enough to Therese to meet her again. They did meet and agreed to stay in touch by letter. He felt that his meeting Krepelin was just a pretext to see Therese again and that was why he was depressed. Her letter of condolence brought up desires of being with her. His depression abated when he met up with her again. He met up with her in Berlin at the Central Hotel. This time their desires reversed. He now was ambivalent about the relationship and she was more eager to be married since she had a daughter and was suffering financial hardship. It blew up in fight in the hotel. He left for the Schlachtensee and wrote a farewell letter to her with the excuse of his mental condition. As expected, Serge had feelings of regret and fell back into depression. Over time he eventually was referred to Sigmund Freud as an attempt to try something different, and like with many of Freud's patients, he was a last option when other modalities failed.

During this time Serge's Uncle Peter, who had paranoia, died. He was alone and only around animals. He was found later when his delivered food wasn't touched. Rats had been chewing on him during this time. Therese found out in a newspaper article titled "A Millionaire Gnawed by Rats." The law stepped in and Serge was included in the disbursement of his assets, relieving some of the resentment of having to wait until he was 28 to get his father's inheritance.

When he started with Freud, Freud pointed out that his behaviour was normal up until the final break where he was now falling into a pattern of "flight from the woman." But Freud wanted the analysis to continue for some months before returning to Therese. Freud's analysis was hourly, so Serge was able to acquaint himself with the pleasures of Vienna and learned to play card games. Despite Freud's prohibition on Therese, Serge sent a detective to find her whereabouts. "I had learned that Therese gave up her position in the sanatorium, and now was an owner of a small pension in which she and her daughter Else were living. She looked terribly rundown, and her no longer fashionable dress hung about her body which had become so thin that it was scarcely more than a skeleton...In this moment I determined never to leave this woman, whom I caused to suffer so terribly."

The vicissitudes of war

When the war broke out, there were anti-Russian sentiments, and Serge and his mother returned to Odessa for the summer before his planned wedding with Therese. Therese stayed behind in Germany with her daughter. Luckily for Serge, being an only child, he avoided being conscripted. After the war broke out he had to go through a lot of legal work to get Therese a permit to enter Odessa. When she arrived they finally got married, though she sold herself short by saying to Serge "I wish you great happiness in your marriage" as if he was marrying someone else. Despite anti-German attitudes Therese put effort into learning Russian until she was able converse with people. Unfortunately she didn't get a long with her mother-in-law who fought over who ran the household. During this time Serge focused on his law exams and passed, but when things were going well, there was an ever present danger to ruin circumstances. For example, during the Ukrainian independence attempt and the Soviet Bolshevik victory, Serge was caught in crossfire. "In the fall of 1917 the October Revolution broke out. In the late fall of the same year armed conflicts were expected in Odessa. I was advised not to venture too far into the city. Nevertheless one day I went to visit friends who lived at quite a distance from our home. When I set out to return home I was amazed to see how the city had changed in so short a time. The streets were suddenly empty and all the front doors were locked. It was uncanny to walk through this deserted town. Finally I had to turn into a street which ran parallel to ours, from which, in order to reach our house, one had to go either to the right or to the left. As I looked down this street I was terrified to see that it was blocked on the right and the left by armed men. They had formed fighting lines on both sides of the street and opened fire against each other at just this very moment...I crossed the parallel street and turned to the left. The bullets were whizzing and swishing past my ears, but I proceeded at a steady pace, reached the garden gate, and seized the latch."

With the constant flip flop between different revolutions and fighting forces, Odessa finally landed in the hands of the Austrians. This allowed Therese an opportunity to get to Germany to visit her daughter Else who was in serious condition with pneumonia.

The biggest devastation to Serge's independence came with economic shocks during the war. "Our fortune was almost entirely invested in government bonds, held in deposit by the Odessa branch of the Russian state bank. The bonds were destroyed in a fire. Furthermore a constant devaluation of money had been taking place. At the time of the German-Austrian occupation an independent Ukrainian currency had been created, which was expected to drop in value rapidly. The inheritance left to me by my father was still administered by my mother, but I had invested most of my inheritance from Uncle Peter in mortgages. My debtors were now very eager to make considerable payments to me, taking advantage of the devaluated currency." 

By the time Serge made it back to Germany, despite a lot of red tape related to his Russian ethnicity, he brought what money he could. He saw Therese again, but now with a shock of white hair. Else was diagnosed as terminal with her tuberculosis and died a couple of months later.

During this dark time, Serge met Freud again who felt there was still a residue left that needed to be analyzed and this analysis stretched out until 1920. "After WWI there was a catastrophic fall in the value of German and Austrian currency, which finally led to a complete collapse...Because of the currency devaluation I had practically nothing left of the money I had brought with me from Russia. So I was forced to look for some sort of job as soon as possible. By exhausting his connections, including Freud, he was able to find an economics professor who got him an opportunity with an insurance company, a job that would sustain him for years."

Psychoanalytic Mindfulness

Some years after the war Serge was again stuck in obsessions. Freud assigned him to one of his followers Ruth Mack Brunswick. When she saw him he was "now earning barely enough to feed his ailing wife and himself. Nevertheless, things went smoothly with him until the summer of 1926, when certain symptoms appeared which called him to consult Freud. At this time it was suggested that if he felt in need of analysis he should come to me...He was suffering from [hypochondria related to his nose acne and treatments]. According to him, [an] injury [from treatment] consisted varyingly of a scar, a hole, or a groove in the scar tissue. The contour of the nose was ruined. Let me state at once that nothing whatsoever was visible on the small snub, typically Russian nose of the patient. And the patient himself, while insisting that the injury was all too noticeable, nevertheless realized that his reaction to it was abnormal. For this reason, having exhausted all dermatological resources, he consulted Freud. If nothing could be done for his nose, then something must be done for his state of mind, whether the cause was real or imagined. At first sight, this sensible and logical point of view seemed due to the insight won from the earlier analysis. But only in part did this prove to be the motive for the present analysis. On the other hand, the insight was undoubtedly responsible for the one atypical characteristic of the case: its ultimate accessibility to analysis, which otherwise would certainly not have been present." Ruth continued associating his complaint that "I can't go on living like this anymore" to his other statements going back to childhood when he soiled himself and thought that he had dysentery, and when he contracted gonorrhea before his sessions with Freud. It was an identification with his mother. 

His obsession turned towards reflections. "The 'veil' of his earlier illness completely enveloped him. He neglected his daily life and work because he was engrossed, to the exclusion of all else, in the state of his nose. On the street he looked at himself in every shop-window; he carried a pocket mirror which he took out to look at every few minutes. First he would powder his nose; a moment later he would inspect it and remove the powder. He would then examine the pores, to see if they were enlarging, to catch the hole, as it were, in its moment of growth and development. Then he would again powder his nose, put away the mirror, and a moment later begin the process anew. His life centered on the little mirror in his pocket, and his fate depended on what it revealed or was about to reveal."

Despite starting a fresh analysis, Ruth announced that "all the childhood material appears [in Freud's paper]; Nothing new whatsoever made its appearance in the analysis with me. The source of the new illness was an unresolved remnant of the transference, which after fourteen years, under the stress of peculiar circumstances, became the basis for a new form of an old illness...At the end of 1919 he had come out of Russia and returned to Freud for a few months of analysis, with the purpose, successively accomplished, of clearing up his hysterical constipation." Unfortunately Serge didn't have enough money to pay for the analysis. With no work and dealing with a wife who was ill, Freud was able to collect money for him for six years. "The money enabled the patient to pay his wife's hospital bills, to send her to the country, and occasionally to take a short holiday himself." Ruth described Freud's interest in the patient as someone "who had served the theoretical ends of analysis so well..."

Despite the supposed cure, Serge not only continued identification with his mother, but also his sister. Before his analysis with Ruth, just like his sister, "[Serge's] preoccupations on his looks and health continued on his nose, teeth, and his constipation. In 1924- 1925 Serge found that his nose had healed..." Unfortunately the nose symptoms returned with a pimple on his nose. "He [then] saw the movie The White Sister which reminded him of his sister who preoccupied herself with feelings of depression over acne and not being beautiful enough." Serge had suicidal thoughts about his looks, and he went to his old dermatologist to have the pimple removed. The blood gave him a sense of relief, but he began to worry about scarring. In the end he had minor scarring that ended up being "the finest white line."

Like in my review on the treatment of Narcissism, [See: Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: https://rumble.com/v1gtj2d-treatment-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder-narcissism-part-4-of-4.html] Ruth appeared to fall into the trap of positive transference, where it's easy for both therapist and patient to flatter each other. "For a time, despite the patient's invulnerability on important topics, or because of it, my relations with him were mostly sunny. He brought the clearest dreams in order that I might show my skill at interpreting them, thus confirming his statement that he was better off in my hands than in Freud's." When Ruth mentioned the death of the dermatologist that worked on his nose, which was the first time Serge heard of the news, he admitted a desire to kill him, sue him or expose him. Ruth then tried to connect this hatred of the dermatologist back to a possible hatred of Freud. Here Serge defended Freud and viewed his analysis with him more as a friendly connection than a professional one. Ruth countered that Serge was not invited to visit Freud and his family, so was not really a close friend. She saw that the patient was stuck wanting to stay Freud's favourite son.

"Our entire concern is with a remnant of the transference to Freud. Naturally this remnant implies that the patient has not been wholly freed of his fixation to the father; but apparently the cause of the remaining attachment is not the presence of unconscious material, but insufficient living-through of the transference itself. I say this in the face of the fact that the patient spent four-and-a-half years with Freud and remained well afterward for some twelve years. It is one thing for the analyst to consider a case complete, and another for the patient to do so. As analysts we may be in full possession of the historic facts of the illness, but we cannot know how much living-through the patient requires for his cure." What he didn't live through enough was seeing his false self in action. Serge wanted to maintain the pleasant feelings of being the star patient to bask in Freud's success. He also had financial needs, needs for social praise and survival needs. 

At the end of Ruth's analysis she declared a cure based on the awareness of his nasal obsession being the same as the gonorrheal infection. An emotional castration. This went back to his identification with his mother and dysentery, and a lingering attachment to his father. "He was now able to realize that his nasal symptom was not a fact but an idea, based on his unconscious wish and the defense against it which together had proved stronger than his sense of reality...At last the patient had sufficiently lived through his reactions to the father, and was therefore able to give them up. The modes of analytic therapy are twofold: the first is the making of hitherto unconscious reactions; the second is the working through of these reactions. The second point involves the primary bisexuality of this patient, obviously the cause of his illness. His masculinity has always found its normal outlet; his femininity on the other hand has necessarily been repressed. But this femininity seems to have been constitutionally strong, so strong, indeed, that the normal oedipus complex has been sacrificed in its development to the negative oedipus complex. The development of a strong positive oedipus complex would have been a sign of greater health than the patient actually possessed. Whether the patient, who has been well for a year and a half, will remain well, it is impossible to state. I should be inclined to think that his health is in a large measure dependent on the degree of sublimation of which he proves capable...All at once he could read and enjoy novels...He could paint, and plan work and study in his chosen field, and again take the general intelligent interest in life and the arts and literature which naturally was his."

In his interview with Karin Obholzer, Serge didn't think that Ruth's analysis helped him as much as his own determination, especially when he didn't agree with the diagnosis of paranoia. "I gathered all my strength, stopped looking in the mirror, and somehow overcame these ideas. In a few days it was gone...That is my greatest accomplishment...I believe I had most success while I saw Mack because I took a stand against the psychoanalysts, made a decision on my own. Stop constantly thinking about your nose!" Despite the accomplishment in using willpower to drop his nose obsession, Serge would have to face more losses and grief.

Endless grief

Things were going well for Serge with his paintings and vacations, until 1938, a bad year for Austria. "When I returned home the evening before the day of the referendum, I wanted to listen to a radio concert that had been announced. This concert should have began within a few minutes, but quite a long time passed without a sound...Suddenly came the voice of the announcer...[Chancellor] Schuschnigg spoke. His statement contained the information that German armed forces had already crossed the German-Austrian border, and that Schuschnigg - to prevent unnecessary bloodshed - had given the order that there should be no armed resistance." Despite Therese being somewhat sympathetic to the Germans, she was starting to deteriorate markedly. "Sometimes she would stand in front of the big mirror in the bedroom, look at herself for a while, and then say discontentedly: 'I am old and ugly!'...She gradually lost contact with her surroundings and wanted neither to visit the few acquaintances we had in Vienna nor to invite them to visit us."

As anti-semitism started to increase in Austria, and many Jews were starting to commit suicide, Therese made a strange remark. She said that "as only the Jews committed suicide and the Christians on the contrary were too cowardly to do so, it was unjust to consider the Jews cowardly. From this remark it was clear that Therese regarded suicide as a heroic deed." Later on she shocked Serge again and said "Do you know what we are going to do? We'll turn on the gas." She quickly spoke of other normal things as if she never said anything so extreme. A week later the couple went for an outing to Grinzing. "As we sat in a café there, I told Therese about the changes which had taken place in the office since the Anschluss [annex] and mentioned that the employees had been asked to produce their so-called family trees which would prove their Aryan descent, or - as people mockiningly said at the time - that they had no Jewish grandmother." Her reaction to this was curious and then one day when he went to work "Therese said goodbye especially tenderly, which I took as a sign that her mood had improved." The morbid scene when he returned home showed that Therese was serious about using gas to commit suicide, and had planned it out far in advance. "I stormed into our hallway where warning notes had been put up: 'Don't turn on the light - danger of gas.' From there I rushed into the kitchen, which was filled with the streaming gas as with a thick fog. Therese was sitting near the gas jet, bent over the kitchen table, on which lay several letters of farewell." She had been dead for several hours. "I lived this day and the following ones as though in a delirium in which one does not know whether what happens is reality or a dreadful dream."

Therese's last letters were cryptic of the cause of her suicidal thoughts. Did she think that she had a Jewish ancestor that would be found out? Did she have a terminal disease that she kept secret? In one letter "Therese tries to justify her suicide on the grounds that she would have died within two or three years, and it would be easier for me if this happened earlier." 

"I ask you a thousand times to forgive me - I am so poor in body and soul. You have suffered so much; you must surmount this also. My prayers in eternal life shall protect you and comfort you, my blessing goes with you. God will help you to overcome everything, time will heal all wounds, the heart must endure the loss of that which is buried in the earth. It is hard for me to leave you, but you will rise again to a new life. I have only one wish, your happiness, this will give me eternal peace. Do not forget me; pray for me. We shall see each other again..."

"Be reasonable, do nothing rashly but act only after you have quieted down. Take care of your health; be careful not to squander your possessions, so that when you are old you will still have something besides your pension. I have saved only for you, I have loved only you, everything I have done has been from innermost love...Think it carefully before you marry again. Marriage could mean your happiness and salvation - or your doom and destruction. You must find a thrifty, hard-working, good woman - not some frivolous creature. Choose a woman from a good home. Then you can make new relationships. You must resume your life."

"W: ...There was considerable enmity between my mother and Therese. This enmity was Therese's fault. Nothing suited her; she wanted everything different. That's the reason I could not have my mother live with me until after Therese's death. It bothered her that my mother was so attached to her relatives and not to us. That was Therese's idea. Her relatives were the most important thing to my mother, you understand, but I was never really aware of it. Due to the quarrel with my mother, the fortune was lost because I couldn't discuss anything with my mother...And she was constantly with her relatives, and those relatives naturally also turned away from me. So it was an awkward situation. 

O: Therese was jealous of your mother.

W: I'd say so. You see it correctly.

O: But your mother also had a prejudice against Therese.

W: Of course. My mother did not like my having married Therese.

O: Because it was a [mismatch]?

W: Of course. She was a nurse - that's a lower class. But you see how it is when a mother is jealous of her daughter-in-law, and vice versa. My mother was always jealous. My father said that he was unfamiliar with that emotion. But she had reason...

O: And a woman after your mother's heart, what would she have been like?

W: Rich, for one thing....Therese sensed her rejection. She was very much attached to her mother, to her parents. She wanted my mother to act toward her as her own mother did....Freud said I was looking for something inferior because she was only a nurse, although...there were difficulties, but...I had...received something very good, you see, because she was a very decent human being." Despite living with Therese, Serge couldn't clearly say why Therese committed suicide. Maybe it was Hitler and she was afraid that her Spanish ancestry had Jewish in it. She also complained about aging and her health..."Freud said that she was perfectly all right psychologically and that only physical illnesses need be considered in her case... Mack said, 'That's where the professor was very badly mistaken...You were married to a crazy woman for twenty-five years.' In the case of my wife, it was real hypochondria that she was so ill. She wasn't ill at all. She imagined she was ill, that she wouldn't live much longer, and so on..."

After the disaster Serge found Psychoanalyst Muriel Gardiner and asked for help "In early spring 1938, shortly after the Nazis had taken over Austria, I came face to face with the Wolf-Man on one of the busy Vienna streets. He did not greet me in his usual polite ceremonious manner but began to cry and wring his hands and pour out a flood of words which because of his excitement and his sobbing were utterly unintelligible." Muriel guided the panicked Wolf-Man to her apartment. Serge used to teach Muriel Russian grammar and talk about his favourite subjects, French Impressionists, Doestoevsky and of course Freud. Muriel couldn't keep up the lessons when she began studying medicine, but she would still be visited by Serge to renew her insurance, since he was working for an insurance company at the time. Serge was in a depressed mood. "My wife killed herself. I've just come from the cemetery. Why did she do it? Why did this have to happen to me? I always have bad luck, I'm always subject to the greatest misfortunes. What shall I do Frau Doktor? Tell me what to do. Tell me why she killed herself."

Serge found his wife Terese dead in the gas-filled kitchen and this was recognizable to Muriel. "Suicides were common in the early days of Nazi Austria, as I knew firsthand from my work in pathology in the autopsy rooms of the general hospital, so of course I thought first of political motives. But this was apparently quite out of the question; neither the Wolf-Man nor his wife was Jewish and they were politically completely indifferent. To my astonishment I found that he scarcely even knew that the Nazis were in power." Muriel managed to get a passport for him and he left for Paris to meet up with Mack Brunswick for more sessions. Muriel went to the U.S. Serge followed Brunswick to England and he returned to Vienna during the Munich Pact. Muriel continued to receive some letters in the United States from Serge until Pearl Harbour. After the war was over news of the Wolf-Man communicated his good mental health and acceptance of his lot in life. He continued to work in insurance and took care of his mother. Though, more sad news arrived about Ruth Mack Brunswick's untimely death. She had died of a fall in the bathroom while on opiates. She had a painful gastrointestinal illness which led to her dependence on painkillers.

On a later visit to Salzburg Muriel negotiated a meeting with the Wolf-Man in Linz. Serge talked about how he benefited from Ruth's comfort but also criticized saying "one could hardly call that a real analysis; it was more of a consolation." He also talked about the kind of women he was attracted to. Muriel pointed out that his taste in women was the same, and connected with his sister's influence. He gained some solace when his mother was opened up more about her own life, which "cleared up for him some of the problems which he had never understood."

Both Gardiner and Pankejeff continued sending letters to each other while Serge continued writing his memoirs. A highlight of those letters was when he got in trouble with Russian soldiers. One day in 1951 he went out to paint, and out of a nostalgia for the Russia of his boyhood he wandered away from the English zone into Russian zone by mistake. He went to the top of a hill and found a nice landscape to paint. When he returned to go home and walked towards a streetcar line he was surrounded by Russian guards. He was interrogated, but strangely, after a few days, the interrogator decided to talk about Russian literature instead. They made an agreement where he would return in 3 weeks to show his other paintings and provide personal documents. Out of a duty to make sure that his case was definitely resolved, he took another chance and returned to the Russian zone. When Serge went back, none of the interrogators were there but instead a different soldier who looked at the paintings and talked about his son who also painted. In the end, they showed no interest in Serge. They warned him that all he needed to do was ask permission and they would allow him to paint.

As age creeped up on Serge he started to admit some of his struggles. "I too am growing older, although, I must sadly confess, not wiser. For many years I thought that I, through the many hard blows of fate which I have suffered, would at least in age become somewhat more mellow and would acquire some sort of philosophic outlook upon life. I thought that in old age I could at least spend my last years at a distance from the emotional struggles of which I had so many in my life. But it seems these are illusions also. I am still far away from the capacity for a contemplative life..." Quoting from later works of Freud he showed how difficult it was to deal with strong impulses. "It is interesting how the 'id' can be. How it can dissemble, apparently following the commands of the 'ego' and 'superego,' but in secret preparing its 'revenge' and then suddenly triumphing over these apparently higher courts. Then the old emotional conflict breaks out, and the apparently subdued mourning for the great loss which one suffered so many years ago makes itself felt again. Freud says that the unconscious knows no time; but as a consequence the unconscious can know no growing old...Unconscious processes [can] gain the upper hand." For Gardiner, much of Serge's complaints about losses, like in his family, and his loss of status, he handled it about as well as many people can. For her "there is no doubt Freud's analysis saved the Wolf-Man from a crippled existence, and Dr. Brunswick's reanalysis overcame a serious acute crisis, both enabling the Wolf-Man to lead a long and tolerably healthy life."

The Ego and the Id - Sigmund Freud: https://rumble.com/v1gvdo1-the-ego-and-the-id-sigmund-freud.html

The Wolfman and other cases - Sigmund Freud: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780142437452/

The Wolf Man by the Wolf Man - Sergei Pankejeff, Ruth Mack Brunswick, Muriel Gardiner, Anna Freud: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780465091973/

The Wolf Man: 60 years later - Karin Obholzer: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780710093547/

The Cries of the Wolf Man - Patrick J. Mahony: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780823610907/

Freud Standard Edition Vol 12: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780701205256/

The Correspondence of Sigmund Freud and Sándor Ferenczi, Volume 1: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780674174184/

The Assault on Truth - Jeffrey Masson: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780345452795/

The Wolf Man's Magic Words: A Cryptonymy - Nicolas Abraham & Maria Torok: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780816648580/

Freud and the Rat Man - Patrick J. Mahony: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780300036947/

Violent Origins: Ritual Killing and Cultural Formation - Walter Burkert, Jonathan Z. Smith, René Girard, Robert G. Hammerton-Kelly, Renato Rosaldo, Burton Mack: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780804715188/

The War that ended Peace - Margaret MacMillan: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780143173601/

The First World War - John Keegan: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780676972245/

The Origins of the War of 1914 - Luigi Albertini: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9781929631261/

Lothane, H. Z. (2018). Freud Bashers: Facts, Fictions, and Fallacies. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 66(5), 953–969.

Homosexuality Anxiety: A Misunderstood Form of OCD - Monnica Williams: https://www.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/attachments/72634/williamshocd2008.pdf

Misusing Freud: Psychoanalysis and the Rise of Homosexual Misusing Freud: Psychoanalysis and the Rise of Homosexual Conversion Therapy - Jonathan Barrett: https://digitalscholarship.unlv.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1027&context=psi_sigma_siren

How do I know I'm really not gay? Fred Penzel: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/homosexual-obsessions/

Sigmund Freud urged his disciple to divorce: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1987-11-12-vw-20532-story.html

The Master's mad move: https://www.theguardian.com/books/1999/jan/30/sigmundfreud

Conditions for intuitive expertise: a failure to disagree. Daniel Kahneman, Gary Klein Am Psychol. 2009 Sep; 64(6): 515–526

Alan Cumming Is Bisexual — And You Might Be Too: https://www.advocate.com/bisexuality/2015/03/30/alan-cumming-bisexual-and-you-might-be-too

Alan Cumming Sounds Off On Being Bisexual And Being Married To A Man: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/alan-cumming-bisexual-_n_4460070

Psychology: http://psychreviews.org/category/psychology01/

#oedipus complex #sigmund freud #psychoanalysis #sergeipankejeff #HOCD #bisexuality #homosexuality #castration anxiety

[bjtrust]

Somali to mori no kamisama mangaupdates

P.S.Yoshimata Ryou’s epic fantasy score is on point, particularly when Somali locates the tree from which she plucks her flower. In any case, postponing her despair even a little bit longer is worth everything. Or heck, maybe the superstition proves to be true, and Golem’s life is extended. What seemed like broken promise at the time may prove not to be, as long as the memory of him remains in her heart. In the scenario that Golem does die, hopefully Somali will keep living, growing, and learning about mortality, both her dad’s and her own. Somali’s emotional health must be looked after in the here and now, and that means postponing hard truths. But Golem understands that now is not the time to say that to her. He also does something he may not have done even a few days ago, before he received advice from other parents: he makes a promise to Somali to be with her forever.Īs a Golem entering his final days, keeping such a promise may well be impossible. When Somali awakes in slightly better shape, Golem, who regrets pushing her so hard to exhaustion then piling emotional distress on top of that, and does indeed apologize. He and Kikila then stay with her as she slowly recovers, and Kokilia gives him some advice as a parent to know when you’ve instilled too much fear, when to take your child in your arms and apologize, and to make sure they know they’re loved and wanted. In as much of a panic as a Golem can be, Golem spends all of his amassed pay on a rare medicine that “works on all clans”, unwilling to betray her true species to the apothecary. Somali to Mori no Kamisama is also known as Somali And The. Then, Kikila finds Somali has collapsed from a fever. Zerochan has 35 Somali to Mori no Kamisama anime images, fanart, and many more in its gallery. It’s good to hear them both saying what I was thinking last week-he just needs to learn to lay off sometimes! Later, both Muthrica and Kokilia gently admonish the Golem for being so strict and inflexible, rather than hearing the reason Somali didn’t follow his orders to the letter. Somali drops the flower on the ground and runs off to her room in tears. They make it all the way back to the restaurant with the flower intact, but as it is after dark, Golem has nothing for Somali but scolding. Kiki protects her with his body, but when Somali explains her reason for needing the flower-so she can continue being with her dad-the lizard, being a parent of two offspring itself, understands, and trudges off. In the process, a giant “tsuchilizard” confronts her. He is Muthrica, one of the force that patrols the vast underground, and whom Kikila calls “shishou.”Īs we’ve seen, the underground is no place for children, but that hasn’t stopped Kikila from making regular trips and getting caught roughly half the time by Muthrica.ĭespite his gruff appearance and manner, Muthrica can sense how desperate Somali is to have a wish granted, so he guides her and Kiki to a tree where she’ll be able to harvest a bloom that will survive the trip back to the surface. Somali to Mori no Kami-sama Somali to Mori no Kami-sama Somali to Mori no Kami-sama TH Somali to Mori no Kami-sama. In what seems to be a recurring practice of presenting then defusing potential threats to Somali, the wolfman turns out to be good people.

#Somali to mori no kamisama mangaupdates

[the-wolfman-club]

Perks of Charcoal and Neem for your Face

We all desire skin that is healthy, youthful, and glowing. However, several factors we face every day prevent us from having the skin we want. Most of these factors could be environmental- such as dirt, dust, or grease. Such impurities, coupled with bacteria, lead to imbalanced skin, inflamed, and prone to acne. In such cases, you must carefully plan your skincare regime to treat such a condition.

The best way to go about it would be to use natural ingredients. You are already in luck if your skin care products have natural ingredients. However, two natural ingredients will give you the best benefits in case of skin care problems- activated charcoal and need.

Why is activated charcoal so beneficial for your skin?

You must have heard of activated charcoal masks; so far, they are all the rage now, and there is quite a good reason for it. Charcoal used to be used for medicinal purposes by the Egyptians long back. According to studies, the most helpful trait of activated charcoal is that it binds to toxic substances and prevents them from getting absorbed into your skin.

Activated charcoal is primarily used in facewashes. Since cleansing is one of the essential steps in any skincare regime, you must have activated charcoal as an active ingredient in your facewash. As mentioned before, it helps detoxify your skin by removing dirt and grime from it. In addition, it helps enlarge your pores and thus helps in properly cleansing your skin. It not only soaks up excess oil from your skin but also clears acne and blemishes.

Perks of using neem on your skin

Neem is generally added to skincare products as oil, derived from the seeds of a tropical need tree. This tree is also called the Indian lilac. Medicinally, neem has many purposes. Neem oil has plenty of ingredients that are beneficial to your skin, such as vitamin E, fatty acids, calcium, antioxidants, triglycerides, and more.

The number of benefits you can get from neem, that is, in the form of neem oil, is enormous. If you have dry skin, you should use a cleansing or moisturizing product that has neem in it as it can help treat dry skin. You can also use it to minimize the effects of age, such as wrinkles and lines. In addition, neem helps with the production of collagen in your skin. Besides having medicinal benefits, like helping treat scars and heal wounds on your skin, neem is an excellent ingredient for treating acne. Last but not least, neem helps minimize moles and warts too.

Conclusion

Many studies support the uses and benefits of neem and charcoal for your skin. Both show excellent results when used on the skin, especially in the abovementioned conditions. Furthermore, neem and activated charcoal have been shown not to have side effects on people and thus are entirely safe to apply to your skin. So you need not worry about using the Charcoal and neem face wash from our website at Wolfman as it contains both of these magic ingredients- activated charcoal and neem!

#Charcoal and neem face wash for men

[nuderefsarebest]

When a troll and wulver want to wreck some shit very much~

Wanted to draw a couple of someone else's characters, because they're awesome, and I love these characters. The troll was a super interesting bonus challenge - character made out of 100% inorganic materials with lots of different textures, that big-ass obsidian blade was fun to do. And, troll's allergic to sunlight? Not if they eat and incorporate solar panels into their body, they're not! ...clever troll...

#art #my art #bad medicine draws #fantasy #wulver #wolfman #troll #creature #monster #archery #archer #fantasy creature #character art #bad medicine posts