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#with dg being my trying to find a way to make friends on my own but still be true to my weird self
cielospeaks · 1 month
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tbh dog guides is basically the precursor to golden week (also as of today happy 17 yr anniversary to dog guides!) which just makes me lol
dog guides: great dogs au
dog guides: kin no sehai (monty x kin no shuu)
dog guides: the museogers (scooter x idolgers)
dog guides: escape the san dimas jail (rocky x escape the ri-o verse)
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magicwhiskers29 · 2 months
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For the latest ask game...Great Ace Attorney, specifically
Favourite Character:
Gina, my girl Gina!! I love her development!! She adds to the atmosphere so well in Unspeakable Story, and I love her and Gregson's dynamic in DGS2!
Least Favourite Character:
Roly Beate. I think his gag is a little obnoxious, but I'm less endeared to him than Pat, so... I don't really actively dislike him that much, but he annoys me, so if I have to pick a least favourite...
5 Favourite ships (canon or non-canon):
-Ginasusa
-Haosusa (/Susarei)
-Ginasusaohao
-Asoryuu
-Nikosusa
Character I find most attractive:
Uhm. I don't know if I feel qualified to answer this. Maybe I'll just say whose design I like best... In which case, Gina again, maybe? I think she's very well-designed! :)
Character I would marry:
Also not that qualified to answer this one, uh... I could marry Courtney Sithe to make her history of marriages/relationships even more confusing? lol
Character I would be best friends with:
Iris!! We both like writing and science so I think we'd be cool buddies
A random thought:
Killing off Jezaille Brett at the start of DGS2 is an excellent way of setting the tone for the rest of the game, as well as setting up that, yeah, important characters can just die, so that Gregson's death works better later. I think it's a very shocking reveal that she's the victim, and I like it a lot.
An unpopular opinion:
Idk if this is that unpopular, but I asked my friend, and they told me this is at least a weird opinion, but Return of the Great Departed Soul is my favourite case in the doulogy, and my favourite case in Ace Attorney overall.
My canon OTP:
There aren't that many canon ships, to my memory, but the Vigils (Evie and Daley Vigil), I guess? Better than the Beates or the Garridebs...
My non-canon OTP:
I guess since this says OTP I can't say Ginasusahao, so uhm... Ginasusa, maybe? That's probably my favourite DGS ship, but I'm not like, that attached to it specifically, so...
Most badass character:
SUSATO MIKOTOBA!!! She saves you in court so many times, and she will take down anyone she needs to with a Susato takedown <3
Pairing I am not a fan of:
Hm... The most I think I get towards DGS ships I don't care is ambivilent, tbh. I can usualy see why people like them, though. I guess the ones I stear most clear from would be Baroryuu or Asobaro? Nothing against then, and I can get why people ship them, but they're not really my thing.
Character I feel the writer's screwed up:
Right, this isn't so clear-cut as it would be as if I was writing this about PL, but if you'll allow me to be petty for a moment, I do have a few minor grievances with Susato. I love her writing for the most part, but I think there was a major missed opportunity in the specifics of her ending.
I don't think her thematic beats about choosing her own path work quite as well if her sole motivation to return to Japan at the end of DGS2 os for Ryuunosuke. Like, yes, she chooses to follow him over Kazuma, that's something, but she's still just choosing to follow another character, when she was previously set up in Blossoming Attorney to be capable of standing on her own if the law only allowed it! I think i would have liked it more if it was at least implied that she returned to Japan to help Ryuunosuke AND start to try to begin her own legal career.
Otherwise, I think her ending's uncomfortably similar to the midpoint in her arc for the ending of Unspeakable Story. Albeit indirectly, she's once again returning to Japan upon her father's request, and I think that could have been avoided a little if her motivations for wanting to return were established as being outside of what other characters want, because that is her arc!
Favourite friendship:
Kazuma and Susato. Everything they do with those two is so interesting to me, and I love writing about it. It's so interesting how core Kazuma is to Susato, but how also she can't mean as much to him, because he only met her properly after he's already decided his mission. But she still means a lot to him, and I just, augh. I love the tragedy.
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agentgrange · 2 years
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Not for nothing, but I find Delta Green and other niche ttrpgs have a false perception around it for being dominated by a certain demographic. If anything though I've been really surprised how diverse the audience is, between LGBT players like me and women of color like my partner and her friends. Which I mean... C'mon, this is a series that takes it's DNA from X Files, cosmic horror, and true crime. *Of course* in 2022 it'll have a wide net of people that captures their interests.
I guess it makes me really happy that more accessible things like DnD 5E blowing up really did open the door a bit to people on expanding out and trying different systems. And especially with Delta Green, its own lore helps deconstruct a lot of the problematic aspects of Lovecraftian fiction in a satisfying way while being in the public domain let's people shape it any which way they like to live in it's world.
So if you've just had a passing interest in DG but haven't thought to go out of your way to ask people in meatspace to join in, maybe reconsider. People will surprise you, and will be a lot more receptive than you might think.
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myfairstarlight · 9 months
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Quiet Interlude
AO3 Link.
Rating: G
Pairing: Susato Mikotoba/Haori Murasame (Rei Membami)
Part of my dgs roleswap au. Serves as a sort of prologue
Word count: 993
....::::**•°✾°•**::::....
Susato takes a deep breath when the metal door of her small cabin closes behind the sailor who just helped her carry all of her baggage. A derisive smile takes over her lips as she looks around the cramped and dark place — she saw Kazuma’s first-class cabin just before, much more spacious for only one person. Her brother did ask if they could share his cabin since they are used to sharing a bed anyhow but the sailors are surprisingly strict about this “one guest per cabin” rule.
But no matter, Susato needed her own space anyway. For reasons that even Kazuma cannot know, for now. When she turns around, she almost immediately stumbles on her trunk, taking pretty much almost all of the place on the floor. Carefully, she kneels down, trying to ignore how her fingers tremble as she reaches for the latches.
Then she opens it.
And nothing happens.
Instead, she is met with her dear friend Haori Murasame already sound asleep, curled up in the trunk. Susato lets out a quiet chuckle. Well, Haori always was a heavy sleeper. Gently, Susato lifts her up in her arms, before heading towards the bed and laying her there. She quickly inspects her face for any sign of trauma — these sailors were decidedly not gentle with the trunk, after all — but her palm only meets the smooth and pale skin of her best friend.
“Nice dreams, Haori,” she whispers, before giving in and placing a kiss on Haori’s forehead. Haori hums but doesn’t open her eyes, still blissfully asleep.
Susato pulls back before heading towards the small desk where she rested her notebook, open on a blank page. She has no heart to write just yet, but she doesn’t really want to go out and venture, her limbs are too weary to carry her farther than the hallway, surely. Her hands reach for the book anyway, finding the pocket hidden in its back cover and retrieving a small piece of paper from it. She reads the names again.
Susato Asogi. Tobias Gregson. Asa Shin. John H. Wilson.
Judge Jigoku almost wrote her down as “Mikotoba”, she remembers him telling her but he stopped himself in case the name would bring suspicion. The Professor’s case may be a confidential one, but if anyone involved in it heard her name, they would immediately suspect her, despite her appearance. So it was for the best that the British must assume she is Kazuma's biological sister, somehow. Inspector Gregson knew Genshin Asogi and Yujin Mikotoba, surely if he is such a revered inspector, he would see through the deceit? Well, ten years is a lot of time, maybe he’d just forget. Father did tell her and Kazuma that he lost contact with Inspector Gregson while he still wrote to Lord van Zieks, who they are supposed to meet at the train station once they arrive.
She heaves a sigh then simply makes her way back to the bed and lies down next to Haori. For a moment, she is content simply looking at her. For as small as the cabin is, it still has a small window through which the moon shines through, bathing the room in a gentle, ethereal light. That is how Susato can discern the tired lines on her friend’s face despite the peacefulness of her sleep.
She wonders, then, if she’s made the right choice. These last few days have been exhausting, to say the least. Her brother was almost hesitant to go on this study tour after almost losing Naruhodo-san and Susato has been trying to comfort Haori as much as she could without being dishonest in the wake of Dr Wilson’s death. With how distraught Haori was, did Susato take advantage of her mental state to convince her to agree to this dangerous plan? Was it selfish?
What would Father say? What would Kazuma say? Oh dear, she is not looking forward to telling him everything, he is such a supportive and kind brother but she knows he, too, has limits, and illegally bringing someone abroad without telling him might be pushing said limits. But she couldn’t implicate him in this. She is ready to risk her life and her honour, but not her brother’s or father’s. Hence, as soon as they touch the ground in Great Britain and she takes on her mission — whether she goes through with it or not —, she won’t use their clan name but her biological one. She will make sure people remember Yujin Mikotoba’s name.
“Mm… Susato?” a sleepy voice breaks through her darkening thoughts. Susato startles, blinking to readjust her vision. Immediately, her eyes find Haori’s grey ones, still cloudy with tiredness.
“Haori, are you alright?” Susato asks softly, hoping her voice doesn’t shake.
Haori smiles, all sweet and kind and it takes everything in Susato to not reach a hand forward to cradle her face.
“Of course, you’re here,” her friend answers. Susato swears she feels her insides melt.
She huffs out a chuckle. “I’m… I cannot express how grateful I am that you agreed to this crazy scheme of mine.”
Haori only looks at her for a while, clouded eyes appearing clearer by the second. At last, she scoots a little closer, close enough so their foreheads can touch. Susato almost forgets to breathe while Haori closes her eyes again.
“Do not be silly,” she says, softly, gently, “What are best friends for, if not to indulge in crazy plans?”
Susato smiles. “You’re right.”
“Of course, I am,” Haori tuts. “Sleep, dearest, you look far too troubled for someone who’s finally accomplishing her dream.”
“You’re right again,” Susato concedes and she finally closes her eyes. In the sudden darkness, all she can feel is Haori’s warmth and her gentle floral scent enveloping her. Blindly, she reaches a hand forward, finding Haori’s naturally. Her friend squeezes her hand, reassuring, loving. She sighs again.
And just for tonight, she’ll let her worries rest.
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hikari-kaitou · 3 years
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Capcom’s Official AA Fanclub Surveys - Main Series Edition
Naturally, Capcom’s official AA fanclub site didn't only post surveys about the DGS characters; they published far more of them about the main series characters. It makes sense, as they started the trend before the DGS series had even been conceived.
Back in the old days, they used to hold a survey on Capcom’s official AA fansite every few months where they’d write about the seasonal activities of a handful of characters and ask fans to vote for the funniest/most pleasant/strangest/etc answer.
They stopped doing them in like… 2016? 2017? The original text is lost for good as far as I can tell. Even the wayback machine couldn’t help because the content was password locked and you can’t get past the password wall while remaining in the archived version.
Fortunately, I saved some of my translations of them so I thought I’d share them. Unfortunately, I was doing these translations very casually and only intended to share them with two of my close friends at the time when I did them, so some of them are just summaries rather than proper translations, and I tended to only focus on characters that we personally were interested in or scenarios that we thought were funny or interesting. That means there are parts missing, and because I didn't expect the original text to be wiped off the site I didn't save it so I could go back and fill in the blanks. Sorry about that...
Cut for length!
"Spring is on its way and each of the AA cast members spent their day off in different ways. Who's way of spending their day off sounds the most pleasant?"
Phoenix- he finished unpacking his moving boxes and sorting his seasonal clothing. While he was packing away his ugly pink sweater and such, he happened across the complete works of Shakespeare at the bottom of one of the boxes, got completely absorbed in reading, and ended up abandoning his unpacking.
Mia- She went shopping at a department store for a new summer suit. On her way, she coincidentally ran into Maya, who was on her way to the agency to hang out, but then at some point Maya vanished. Mia tried calling her cell phone but she didn't answer. "Don't tell me she's lost at her age," Mia thought, and began to search for her. She found Maya transfixed by a rooftop Steel Samurai show. It seems that she was both exasperated and relieved.
Maya- she tagged along on Mia's shopping trip, but the second she spied a poster for a rooftop Steel Samurai show, she made a beeline for the roof. She got into a cheering battle with a mean-looking elementary school boy and really enjoyed the show. When the show was over, she reunited with an exasperated looking Mia. She gleefully led Mia to a burger restaurant so they could eat some burgers together.
Edgeworth- he treated himself to a drive along the coast in his red sports car... Well, that was the plan, but then he was pushed by his mentor Von Karma into being the driver for his shopping trip. As a reward for his service, he received a brand new Von Karma style, stylish and flashy summer suit.
Then there's Larry, who dragged Phoenix to a café to hit on its hot owner, and the judge who bought a wig.
"Apollo, Fulbright, Edgeworth, Klavier and Kristoph made visits to a nursery school near the courthouse. Which of them did the most pleasant activity with the children?"
Apollo acted out the story of the “Crying Red Ogre” for the children. Phoenix played the part of the blue ogre, and Apollo was the red ogre, and Apollo’s wailing moved the children to tears too. In a panic over all the crying, they got Trucy to cheer them up with a magic trick in which she made Apollo disappear.
Fulbright: He came dressed in a blinding white costume to teach the children about justice and put on a play. The children gave him thunderous applause... But when Jinxie, who had been forced to play the part of the heroine, saw Fulbright, she thought he was the ghost of an army general, got scared, and slapped a charm on his face.
Edgeworth and Gumshoe: He and Gumshoe were going to reenact the story of Kintarou (an old Japanese fairytale). Franziska handed Edgeworth the Kintarou costume she’d designed (If you've seen Ghibli's Spirited Away, recall what Bou, the giant baby, wears. That's what we're talking about here). Edgeworth fearfully asked “You... expect me to wear this...?” Gumshoe, who had painted his whole body black to play the role of a bear, told him “Of course, sir! It doesn’t fit me!” and shoved Edgeworth out on stage in it. Edgeworth quickly began to reconsider Gumshoe’s salary for next month.
Klavier and Kristoph: Kristoph started giving a boring lecture on the importance of law, and the kids were getting antsy. Seeing this, Klavier came over with his guitar to liven things up, performing a rock style arrangement of the “The Bear Went Over The Mountain". But then he threw in the unnecessary comment of “If any of you scratch the frets of my guitar, I’ll be suing for damage of property, ok?” And they both ended up getting kicked out.
"This survey is about who knows how to enjoy a sunny day at Gourd Lake the best"
Simon: To give Taka some exercise, Blackquill took him and Fulbright (who was on guard duty) out for some falconry. Things were going well until Taka heard something about this mysterious creature “Gourdy,” freaked out, flew into the little shop selling Gourdy merchandise and started making a huge mess. Blackquill and Fulbright gathered Taka up in a panic and hightailed it out of there as fast as they could.
Edgeworth had seen Phoenix home and on his way back passed by Gourd Lake. Just as he was starting to get bad flashbacks... he happened to hear Larry in the middle of a flirting attempt and got dragged in. The woman he was trying to put the moves on was a foreigner, and she and Edgeworth started chatting in her native language. Larry couldn’t understand and was annoyed that Edgeworth was apparently moving in on his target, so he sulked and blew up at Edgeworth.
Athena tried to play matchmaker for Apollo and Juniper, so she told them to meet her in the forest near Gourd Lake so that they would run into each other there and hopefully hit it off. Juniper got there first, expecting to find Athena, but when Apollo showed up, she panicked and hid behind a tree. While she was trying to gather her nerve to go talk to him, he wandered off and she lost sight of him.
Phoenix was at the park and he got caught by Larry who was doing his part time job of selling Samurai Dogs. Larry saw a pretty lady that he wanted to flirt with so he asked Phoenix to mind the shop while he was gone. Business was slow, so he called in all the WAA members to put their full range of skills to use. They seem to have managed to sell them all!
Gumshoe took Missile for a walk in the park. They stopped for a rest and Gumshoe fell asleep, so Missile slipped out of his collar and ran over to where the Samurai Dogs were being sold. He ate them all without Phoenix noticing. Phoenix handed things back over to Larry when he got back and Larry got in huge trouble for losing so much product.
"This survey is talking about how the cast spent their Valentines Day"
Trucy gave Polly chocolate for himself and some for Klavier and asked Apollo to give it to him for her. Klavier wasn’t in court when Apollo went to look for him, though, so he and Phoenix went to the prosecutors’ office together with their chocolate. On their way, though, Apollo found himself getting a lot of strange looks from Themis Legal Academy students.
Ema gave some chocolates to Phoenix to give to Edgeworth because she suddenly got called to a crime scene. Phoenix headed over to the prosecutors’ office but Edgeworth was in court and wasn’t there, so Phoenix waited out in front of the prosecutors’ office with this flashy, girly looking bag of chocolates. Edgeworth’s trial ended up going a long time and Phoenix got a lot of stares as he waited.
Edgeworth was hit by a pollen-filled spring breeze on his way back to the office and suddenly his eyes got all red and itchy and he was left sneezing and sniffling. Phoenix came to talk to him and got quite a surprise when he saw the state Edgeworth’s face was in. The chocolates Ema gave him were in the shape of the Steel Samurai and they made Edgeworth so pleased that it seemed to ease his suffering a little.
Flower Viewing:
Phoenix and Apollo go to the park early to hold flower viewing spots for the WAA members. They see some people from around town that they know who ask them to hold their spots while they go and grab this or that. Phoenix and Apollo do their best to hold those people’s spots and in the process lose their own. They end up begging Edgeworth to let them share his and Klavier’s spot.
White Day:
Because of his painful memories about Valentine’s Day from elementary school, he doesn’t like Valentine’s Day or White Day that much. As a return gift to his beloved daughter, he gave her painstakingly handmade magic panty shaped chocolates. Apparently he forced the ones that didn’t turn out on Edgeworth...
Klavier was holding a ladies only concert, which he invited Trucy to. Phoenix was worried about letting Trucy be out at night by herself, so he sent Apollo along in disguise (as a woman!!). But Klavier saw through Apollo’s disguise easily and to Apollo’s horror, called him up on stage.
Autumn/Moon Viewing:
Phoenix, Edgeworth and Larry went to collect chestnuts together. Larry was too focused on looking for chestnuts and not watching where he was going and fell down the mountain slope. Phoenix had tried to catch Larry but he ended up falling too and spraining his ankle slightly. Edgeworth had to carry Phoenix on his back down the mountain.
Apollo went moon viewing with the rest of the WAA. It turned out into kind of an office party and Apollo had drink after drink while assuring everyone that “I’m fine!” but ended up getting pretty hammered. He proceeded to pass out and Phoenix took care of him.
Obon Festival:
Klavier performed a bonfire festival dance version of the Guitar’s Serenade at the summer festival and Apollo provided the taiko drum backup. He filled the gaps in the taiko drumming with his chords of steel, and it was a very energetic bonfire dance.
Edgeworth noticed the festival going on on his way home from work and decided to have a look. He saw Phoenix selling Samurai Dogs and desperately wanted one, but couldn’t bear the thought of Phoenix finding out that he was a Steel Samurai fan. He hemmed and hawed in front of the festival stall, trying to decide whether to buy one, but they sold out before he could make up his mind.
Phoenix went to the festival with Maya. Larry, who was working the Samurai Dog stand, called them over and forced them to watch the stand while he made a booty call. Phoenix and Maya’s manzai comedy duo style vocal advertising was so successful that they quickly sold out.
Christmas:
Phoenix, Trucy, Athena, Apollo and Pearl all spent the night at the office after their party wrapped up. Phoenix put presents next to the kids' pillows during the night.
Edgeworth grumbled about having to play Santa but dressed up anyway and snuck in at night to bring the younger ones at Phoenix's office some presents. He accidentally ends up sneaking into Phoenix’s room instead.
Apollo wanted to be a good big brother to Trucy and Pearl, so he snuck into their rooms to leave gifts but tripped over something, let out a Chords of Steel volume shout as he fell and ruined the surprise/
Klavier, as a favor to Trucy, snuck in dressed as a Visual Kei style Santa, but he announced his arrival with a rock arrangement of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and got caught and kicked out.
Blackquill had to make a jailbreak in order to play Santa, was chased down and Phoenix woke to find the police surrounding his office.
DGS Edition
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ladder-discourse · 2 years
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Great Ace Attorney Wolfwalkers(???) AU Info Dump
So those doodles I was posting back in Dec. of some of the GAA/DGS characters as wolves (this one and this one) do have the context of an entire AU to go with them, but as usual I've been alternatively either too busy or too brain fried to compile them all in a format even close to approaching cohesion... UNTIL NOW.
This stuff is all from a collaborative effort between me and my friends Cal and Harry that spun off a simple question: What if… Wolfwalkers inspired GAA AU where Kazuma loses his memories and doesn’t remember he can become a wolf, and Ryunosuke is the weird feral stranger who keeps risking life and limb to sneak into the city to try and get him to remember who he is by getting him to come run around and be gay in the woods. What if.
Info below cut contains implied and explicit spoilers for the entirety of GAA Chronicles/DGS 1 and 2.
Important tweak to the premise and the reason why I keep putting (???) at the end when I call this a 'Wolfwalkers' AU: Instead of being humans who become wolves when they sleep, the wolf characters mentioned here are more along the lines of like, the wolves in Wolf’s Rain. They're actual wolves who can appear as/become human to try and blend in with human society. It's a pretty big change but, because Wolfwalkers is still the primary insp., I keep referring to it as a WW AU anyway. Even though it's not... Necessarily accurate. Lol. Much like in wolfwalkers there ARE still normal-ass wolves who CANNOT do this weird magic stuff. Also like in wolfwalkers, if you get bitten, you become one of them.
CHARACTERS
Ryunosuke: Wolf w/ dark grey/black fur. On the scrawnier side (probably the runt of his litter) but prides himself on having a particularly excellent sense of smell. Best friends (extremely gay) with Kazuma. Has spent the better part of a year trying to accept his friend’s apparent death until one day, he picks up what he’s convinced must be Kazuma’s scent coming from inside a mysterious and imposing looking walled human city.
Susato: Human turned wolf with light-gray/silvery fur. She’s particularly agile in wolf mode, and naturally has a way better understanding of how human society works, which probably doesn’t sound like much of a talent but please realize that her skills and expertise exist in contrast to Ryunosuke, who tries real hard but is kind of a disaster. Kazuma is basically an adopted older brother to Susato, but he is also the reason she is a wolf in the first place. (There is no resentment over this, it’s totally chill, Kazuma just bit her by accident when they were very little and tussling or something.) Kazuma: Wolf with black fur and white accents. Presumed dead by his friends and family, but it turns out he actually lost his memory somehow and has been living in the human capital AS a human under the care of the local government, with absolutely no clue as to his own origins. Now working as a wolf hunter apprenticed to van Zieks. Crack shot w/ a hunting rifle, also very handy with swords (natch).
Iris: A clever young wolf who lives just outside the city walls with her adult guardian, Herlock Sholmes. Befriends Susato and Ryunosuke and aids them in their quest to find their friend. Niece to Barok, although obviously neither of them are aware of this fact. (I don’t think she has a PhD in this AU but she is still extremely smart and she is probably still an author??? IDK Gotta think about that.)
Sholmes: Human man, certified wolf sympathizer and Great Detective. Apparently known throughout the city and beyond for his great feats of deduction, although Ryunosuke is frankly a bit skeptical about how true that actually is! Iris convinces him to help aid Ryunosuke and Susato in rescuing Kazuma by working to uncover the truth of how their friend came to lose his memories in the first place.
Gina: Friend of Iris. A particularly unusual wolf who has learned to make a life for herself inside the city walls, despite how inhospitable the humans there are to her kind. Fur is a light blonde/fawn sort of color w/ black-grey sooty markings, which combined with her trademark bandana is enough to help her pass her true form off as a particularly large dog. Has a big chip on her shoulder, says she doesn’t like humans but is fiercely protective of all the human orphans in her gang. Uses her sharp wits and intimate knowledge of the city to help keep everyone out of danger.
Gregson: Plays a pretty minor role but because I know people are going to ask about him if I don’t include him (and I would not blame them, bc I love him too), here’s what he’s up to: He’s kind of the neighborhood block captain/keeper of the peace in the part of town where Gina and her rowdy gang of fellow orphans run amok. Still a great lover of fish and chips in this AU, but is not an actual cop and does not get tragically murdered, neither as part of a larger conspiracy nor for any other reason! Gina constantly gives him guff both as a wolf and as a human, generally causing him trouble whenever she chafes against the local rules. Gregson gives her crap but he does also kind of secretly care about her and the other kids, unfortunately he doesn’t really have the means or the resources to do much for them in terms of food/housing.
Barok: The city’s top hunter. Hates wolves with a passion, is ironically unaware that his own apprentice literally is one. Kind of a miserable combination of Quent Yaiden (WR) and Bill Goodfellowe (WW) in this AU. City wide he is feared and kind of known as a bit of a freak because he’s one of the few people within the city who fervently believes wild magic is a real thing, and he’s absolutely CONVINCED that there are wolves out there who are capable of appearing human. They are totally tricking everyone and trying to INFILTRATE CITY SOCIETY, and while he has no idea what they’re after or why they’d even want to do that, he is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE they’re responsible for killing his older brother.
(He is eventually forced to reconsider this position when he’s bitten and becomes a wolf himself.)
Stronghart: Cromwell stand-in/governor of the city. The truth is, Mael actually knows all about wolves and wild magic, but he plays dumb so he can use his secret knowledge to further his own personal agendas. Manipulates van Zieks by pretending like he thinks he is out of his mind for claiming magic wolves are a real thing, then makes a big show of insisting on keeping him in the position of game warden because he’s the Best Man for the Job. He also knows the truth about what Kazuma really is and is the one who assigns him to apprentice under van Zieks. His hope is to poison Kazuma against his own kind enough to maybe kill a few of his own, so that even when he does eventually remember what he is, it’ll be too late/he'll be too guilt ridden to go back. Then he’ll have no choice but to become Stronghart’s own personal assassin, much like Klint used to be.
Yujin: Not super different from how he is in canon except he has two wolves for kids. Human guy and doctor who comes from a smaller town far far away from the big city wherein the central conflict takes place. Aware of shapeshifters/wild magic. Basically adopted Kazuma after Kazuma’s real father was tragically killed. Has some knowledge/experience about the human capital city but he is absolutely hiding it!
Klint: Deceased; human turned wolf, killed by Genshin in honorable combat. Stronghart found out about him being a secret wolf and manipulated him into using his shape changing abilities to carry out political murders disguised as tragic wolf maulings on his behalf.
Genshin: Deceased; wolf, but one who was also skilled at swordplay (yes, he’s a sword wolf, don’t worry about it). He inadvertently became the primary reason for Barok’s obsession with/hatred for wild magic and wolves/shapeshifters; when Klint was killed, a wolf was the only thing seen fleeing the scene of the crime… Yet his brother was murdered with a human weapon, not the fangs of an animal.
STORY BEATS/MISC SCENE IDEAS
The first time Susato and Ryunosuke enter the walled city, they take a tag team approach where Susato goes in as a human and Ryunosuke poses as her pet dog. That way she can handle all the human interaction and he can use his canine senses to try and lead them to Kazuma. This actually works really well until they run into Barok, who is not so easily fooled. He pegs Ryunosuke as a wolf almost immediately, and a harrowing mad dash chase scene ensues. In the chaos of the escape, Ryunosuke encounters Kazuma. Alas, he finds no recognition in his long-lost friend’s eyes, and indeed, when their gazes meet it’s over the barrel of a gun!
Susato and Ryu manage to escape only because of some well timed intervention from two local wolves, Iris and Gina. Gina berates them for waltzing into the city without a damn clue, Iris invites them back to her house just outside the city to meet with Sholmes and share their story.
With the help of their new friends, Ryu and Susato are able to take a more subtle approach in trying to get through to Kazuma. Ryunosuke takes things a step further and probably gets a menial job within whatever building is at the heart of the government where Kazuma works/trains under van zieks. He tries to get close to him as a human.
At one point he takes the plunge and tries to show Kazuma what he really is (in the hopes it'll jog his memories), but van zieks has long since grown suspicious of this new hire (“Hmmm the janitor we just hired sure has the same shifty boggly looking eyes as that wolf that got away from me the other week…”) and catches him in the act. And then literally catches him.
Barok has wolf-Ryu in a cage. He tries to interrogate him, but Ryu keeps playing dumb and refuses to speak. Barok’s losing it with frustration, this is the first shapeshifter he’s encountered since Klint’s death and he is DETERMINED to get some answers but this wolf just KEEPS. STARING. AT HIM.
Stronghart somehow gets wind of Barok’s catch and is terrified that this wolf he’s caught might know something and could blow all his plans sky high?? He intervenes in the interrogation, tells Barok off for being some kind of conspiracy theorist and going way too far with this shapechanger theory of his, says he’s confiscating Ryunosuke with the intention of putting him down.
Susato, Iris, Gina, and Sholmes all show up to pull off a dramatic rescue. IDK what they do exactly but they make it out to the city gates somehow, at one point Barok IS about to shoot Ryunosuke but Susato saves him by lunging in and biting the hand Barok is aiming his pistol with.
They complete their escape while Barok is clutching his bite wound. Ryunosuke is compelled to look back one more time though, and there’s that super tropey thing where Ryu achieves a prolonged moment of sad and meaningful eye contact with the furious hunter before turning tail and disappearing into the trees.
It takes a bit probably, but one night soon after Barok will be DOOMED TO BECOME THE THING HE HATES THE MOST, and is forced to flee the city in a wild panic. Gets injured (possibly by his own apprentice?) on the way out.
While everyone’s regrouped at Sholmes’ place trying to figure out how the hell they’re going to get to Kazuma now, Ryu does a sniff and says he thinks there’s a new wolf out in the woods? One who smells kind of familiar but he’s not sure why…
They go to investigate and find wolf Barok wounded in the woods (Iris finds him first), they treat his wounds and bring him back to the house and basically they have to teach him how to be a wolf now.
They do eventually all work together to expose Stronghart and save Kazuma and love wins in the end.
I desperately wish I had the wherewithal to write a proper fic about all this but I don't, so you guys just get my partial bullet points and heartfelt doodles.
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sirescumbag · 3 years
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AA7 thoughts
So I just finished Spirit of Justice and then I heard about Ace Attorney 7 apparently in the works, so my brain decided this is the time to make up potential plot twists to be excited about that don’t actually exist. I know this is divergent from my usual fanart posting but here’s a very long text dump of some new stuff I’d be interested in seeing but will probably not happen because it is all very specific and caters to my own desires, probably not the fandom’s in general:
Phoenix is still there, but not as active as an acting defense attorney, though he’s still key to the plot (as a mentor, or to be used as emotional blackmail). He’s not playable (or if he is, it’s not for long), but more there as a plot point in a Maya sort of way (oh the turntables). This time, he’s the one under threat or danger. Instead of switching around from lawyer to lawyer, I think that Athena should undergo some more development as a main character this time around since Phoenix and Apollo have had their time to shine. The removal of Phoenix and being all alone, I think, would also be interesting in her character development
On that note, bring on the major character angst!! Having a big tragedy occur, with a fairly major character. Usually the tragedy pulled is a murder/death, but how about a different sort of tragedy-- a fate worse than death/on par with it to someone who is still alive? Someone is severely incapacitated, a psychological injury (classic old memory loss, or perhaps a genius who is reduced to a very limited mental capacity), coma, or even a temporary death (like with Petenshy, Edgeworth), or perhaps a kidnapping (not Maya this time, please). If it happens to a major character, it’ll have greater impact, BUT there’ll be fan riots if it’s not reversible. So have the tragedy with the character get resolved, but not in a deus ex machina way-- recovery is slow and angsty but filled with hope.
There’s often a focus on the past haunting you-- let’s try shifting this to the present! Building suspense on a case that is happening in real time-- I am fond of the idea of a serial killer on the loose in the present and the dread of suspense in present time throughout trials as they continue to kill and hinder key advances in solving the mystery.
Very often, there are personal ties in court-- both the prosecution and defense are tied together in some way in the past, resolving their own personal backstory. Instead of oneself, maybe let’s have some focus on a client instead? It might be interesting to see a lawyer get so deep into protecting a single client-- instead of a new client for every case, protecting a single person over multiple cases-- that they get roped into an outsider’s story instead. A little idea in my head is of playing around with maybe witness protection, or say (off the serial killer idea) someone is expected to be the next target for a murder and you are tasked with trying to protect them in real time (and then a tragedy happens to them that moves plot forward, bonus if players gets to build an emotional connection between you and the client).
In SOJ and DGS, the stakes were big on “saving the masses” and government reform-- the stakes can still be high, but instead of something lofty like reforming the world or community, instead it could focus on the relationships with the people immediately around you, protecting them, or just some good old self-preservation.
Newer characters like Athena being really fleshed out! Whether there are new or old characters, really build and explore the depth of their character beyond that of a plot point. Not just slapping on relationship labels that immediately trigger emotion but have no context beyond it (like the killing off “my best friend” Clay in DD, or the classic parental death). I thought the fleshing out of Dhurke and building an emotional relation to him in SOJ was a lot more effective in making it really feel like a tragedy than with Clay in DD.
For introducing any old characters, please show some personality changes due to age. Or, maybe! Even a 180 change from the personality from the original trilogy for intrigue-- what happened to the old person I knew (and have it be integral to the plot)? I know I griped about the old “ah That Event 5/7/10 years ago” past plot thing being used but I wouldn’t mind this being used as a part of plot development either
Maybe try to bridge the feeling of separation between the old trilogy and newer characters’ worlds by, instead of kind of sequestering them into their separate spheres of interaction to preserve nostalgia (like in Turnabout Time Traveler, where the old gang is all together in the same dynamic, Maya and Phoenix and Edgeworth, etc), have old trilogy characters interact with newer ones in significant ways and build their own unique bond. So, not just a passing mention where the old encounters the new, having the old interact with the new and build a bond through going through significant conflicts together (for example, this has already been mentioned but if Athena is the main focus of the next game, there could be an opportunity to explore this if she confronts Franziska in court!).
I know there’s already so many gimmicks added (Apollo’s perceive, Athena’s widget) but if there has to be something new added, instead of making it individual-specific, maybe have be similar to spirit channeling as a concept-- have it be a broad phenomenon in the world that plays a key part in causing a case, rather than a tool for discerning the truth of a case.
Or, if we’re sticking with the same gadgets/tricks, instead choosing to tamper more with the tools of the trade that were supposed to never lead you astray-- this has already been seen in DD, where Apollo’s bracelet led him to the wrong conclusion about Athena, and AA4, where evidence was tampered with. Perhaps instead of adding new gadgets, let’s manipulate, tamper with, lose, have it used against them in new ways!
The use of a civil case in SOJ was very much unexpected but in my opinion a very interesting one! Would be very interesting to see more in-fighting among the prosecutor group or within the defense attorney group and see how that moves the plot along. Messing more with the court system instead of adding new gadgets would also be interesting.
More threats during investigation, not just in court! Remember when von Karma tased you in the evidence room? Let’s have suspense in AND out of the courtroom.
I’m sure there’s plenty of interesting psychological phenomena that could be used to complicate court cases (for example, that use of Justice Minister Inga’s cognitive disorder in recognizing faces coming into play)!
Different approaches for moral ambiguity for clients using psychology-- we’ve seen this with defending clients who are actually guilty, or being blackmailed. I’d be interested in seeing a Jekyll and Hyde situation where 2 different sides of one person commit a crime, but one side is unaware of it-- and how a defense lawyer would handle this!
Exploring the plea for insanity in court! Double jeopardy! Escaped convicts! A murder whose trial to find a good jury has been delayed for a long time and is forced to find its resolution outside of court due to the murderer striking again!
Also, to pull in some stuff I read about elsewhere, after reading about moral psychology in Jonathan Haidt’s book The Righteous Mind and moral triggers that typically pull strong reactions (care, fairness, loyalty, authority, sanctity), I was also thinking about how ace attorney manages to build emotionally compelling cases in relation to this model. Ace Attorney imo so far has done pretty alright at hitting most of these triggers at some point to hype the emotion, but for the final case, it ends up being played in what I see as generally the same way (ex: character development starts from from my duty as a lawyer is my role as the defense/prosecutor into that of my duty is to find the truth, authority corrupt and that is bad, justice should be served fairly, I am loyal to my group of prosecutor/defense, also played with loyalty and betrayal in DD with Apollo and Athena splitting, also triggered sanctity a bit in SOJ with the religion, lots of other examples probably but that’s a few). I’d be interested in seeing these same moral triggers played upon in different manner for some variety! Maybe even pursuing some different themes than justice and truth and duty and all that jazz, but idk what else could be alright to explore cause the courts kinda embody all that and deviating to make a statement about other themes might not fit as well in the courts hmm
Also part 2, I wonder if there’ll be romantic undertone somewhere (or heavily implied) for any new or old major characters. Romantic love isn’t usually used with major characters as a plot point (usually platonic stuff, friendship, family, or duty to the truth is instead) but I’d think it’d be interesting if romance was used this time around as an emotional motivator to drive the plot
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4ragon · 3 years
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oh, if you’re still up for it, how do you feel about vortex from the dgs games? your writing is amazing btw!!
AhhhhHHhh thank you!! That’s very sweet, I’m glad you like my writing. 
Man. Hart Vortex. Or whatever the fuck they’re calling him now, Mael Strom?? Thanks I hate it. I did not expect to like him as much as I WAIT SHIT ALMOST FORGOT
DGS1 AND 2 SPOILERS DO NOT CONTINUE
I’M SERIOUS, MAJOR DGS2 SPOILERS. DGS SPOILERS ALSO BUT THIS BITCH IS IMPORTANT FOR 2 GAMES DO NOT READ THIS. JUST FIND THE GAMES YOURSELF.  GET OUT OF HERE. THANKS I LOVE YOU BYE.
Anyway. I did not expect to like him as much as I did, but that moment in the final case, where the camera cuts and you see that son of a bitch sitting in the judge’s seat? My heart stopped. I was absolutely not expecting that. And they really couldn’t have pulled that off in any other game, just considering how the other games work. I may not enjoy the jury mechanically, but the fact of the matter is that without them, you can’t have a “The Judge Was The Enemy All Along” since he really does wield all the power in every other situation. Which also just adds to the horror. Like yes, you’ve accused the prosecutor currently prosecuting at least four times by now, but the judge? The judge currently judging the case? Nah man, that shit’s wild.
And also, like, Vortex is this constant presence throughout the games. He’s not your friend in any capacity, but he’s always there, always expected. You get used to him being the one in charge of the things around you. He’s your boss, for goodness sake, and not in the Kristoph way, but in the “This man controls so fucking much about the world I’m immersed in” way, like. He’s probably the most powerful character you deal with in the duology. 
I don’t want to say he’s a more interesting Gant, because I do enjoy Gant for what he is, but I feel like Vortex really pulls off a lot of what Gant did and then some. I mean, Vortex is so high up on the food chain you almost feel insignificant when talking to him. And plus he has motivation to boot. Admirable motivation, in fact! It’s a power grab, but a power grab in a way that clearly reads “I am the best person for the job” more than simply “I want power.” He’s one of those politicians that truly believes his own hype, truly believes that he is so important to keeping the world functioning that he is above the law. It’s a god complex in its own way.
It’s always interesting with villains to try to come to understand their motivations. I’m not saying every villain has to be complex, but there always has to be something driving them, be it greed, jealousy, fear, love or extraterritorial rights. With Vortex, it’s this sense of duty, that he and he alone is responsible for and capable of making a better world, even if it means crushing opposition and killing people who he sees as a threat to his ‘better world.’
And then, again, as I mentioned he’s been there as your superior for two whole games. It’s not like you get close to him or anything, but he’s still this figure that you answer to for a majority of the duology, and that makes having to face him down at the end that much more intimidating, along with all of the other batshit wild revelations going on on the other side of the bench. Like. Holy hell, that is a lot of pressure, that is a lot to deal with, MAN.
Don’t get me wrong, from the moment I first saw him, I was like “Oh he’s deffo gonna be the final boss,” and I hadn’t expected them to find a way to still surprise me after that. But they did it. They managed to make him a final boss worth challenging, and I think that’s very sexy of them.
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redgoldsparks · 3 years
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January Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe
Cucumber Quest vol 1 by Gigi DG
An extremely cute start to a well-designed, brightly colored, whimsical adventure story. Cucumber is excited to move to a magical boarding school, he's all packed and ready to go.... when a letter from his father, Cabbage, arrives which urges him to set off on a quest instead. A evil queen has taken over the Cake Castle and plans to summon the Nightmare Knight, with an ultimate goal of world domination! Cucumber very reluctantly sets out to the castle and is immediately beset by side quest after side quest. Luckily his sword-fighting sister Almond shows up just in time to save him and take over the whole adventure for herself. The two of them and the cowardly Carrot travel from the Gumdrop forest to the Flatbread Flatlands to the Ripple kingdom chasing down one thing after another. I get the feeling the author probably studied animation- I think this would make a super cute children's TV show. This comic is also serialized online as a webcomic and you can find almost 900 pages here on the website. 
Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
The story heavily features rape and suicidal ideation, two topics that often cause me to set a book aside. I'm glad I finished it though, because I am always curious about anything written by a nonbinary author. My favorite piece was actually an essay in the back in which the author reflected on the process of writing the book, which is told mainly from the POV of several god-spirits who are trapped in human form and wish to end their embodied experience to return to the god-realm. For these deities, the death of their human would be not a grief but a homecoming.
Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve
Schrieve's debut novel uses literal monstrosity as a metaphor for queerness to great effect. Z, a nonbinary teen, dies in the same car crash that kills the rest of their family, then wakes up undead. They are now legally a non-person, needing an adult guardian to sign on to the responsibility to incinerate their body when they begin to decompose and lose their sense of self. That is a terrifying eventuality, but in Z's immediate future is another problem: their only living relative hates monsters, and constantly calls Z by their deadname and uses she/her pronouns for them. Luckily, Z is able to escape to the care of their godmother, the widowed lesbian owner of Salem, Oregon's queer and pro-monster independent bookstore. At school Z slowly befriends Aysel, a Turkish-American lesbian werewolf, and Tommy, who everyone at school calls a fairy (as in, a descendant of the fey). After a local murder is attributed to unregistered werewolves the police begin to crack down harder on all magical people, brutalizing and destroying monster communities just trying to survive on the edge of homelessness. There's so much to love in this book- that experience of discovering that every single person in your friend group is queer, the anguished teenage feeling of being different in a way no one will understand, the willingness of the young to commit to life-altering magical/emotional oaths. If the claustrophobia and dysphoria of the opening scene make you wince, keep reading, I promise the book only gets richer and more surprising as you read.
Snowbird by Erin Wilson
This is an interesting and experimental book. The author wrote the first half of it in her late 20s after a hard breakup, burnout from activist work, wallowing in feelings of guilt about her part in the gentrification of New Orleans, and enraged over the recent Deepwater Horizon Gulf oil spill. She published the first half, intending to write the second half about a tragedy in her community which cost nine lives- though she didn't personally know any of those who passed away. Five years later the author wrote an alternate second half in which she speaks to her younger self about the depths of her own depression, white guilt, and the fact she doesn't really have the right to finish the book as initially planned. In other hands, this might feel like a cop-out, but I thought it was a compassionate way to honor the creative efforts of one's younger self, while also recognizing the flaws of the work, and the way that the world (and the author) changed over time.
Patience & Esther by SW Searle
Sexy and tender by turns, this comic tells the story of two women who meet as servants in an Edwardian English manor house, and quickly develop feelings for each other. Their young relationship is endangered when one of them is offered a different position in London. They have a dream of living together and opening up a shop. That dream seems impossible until several gifts and mentors offer them aid. The book's epilogue shows an alternate universe in which the couple live together in the present day- a very sweet note at the closing of an already endearing story.
The Way of the Househusband vol 1 by Kousuke Oono
An extremely silly premise, executed perfectly. The main character is a former feared Yakuza, who has chosen a different path. Now married to a woman with a busy career, "Tacchan" has become a househusband, spending his days packing extremely cute bento boxes, smart shopping with grocery store coupons, taking on DIY home improvement projects and occasionally babysitting neighborhood children. Most people are terrified of him, and former enemies are still frequently hanging around town, but Tacchan is singularly focused on his domestic goals. Love the art style, definitely plan to read more!
Cook Korean by Robin Ha
I got this from the library expecting to just check out the vegetarian recipes, but I got sucked it and read the whole thing! Each chapter opens with a beautiful watercolor painting, a short comic on the author's relationship with a specific dish, and then a wide variety of brightly colored and clearly drawn recipes. There are soups, noodle dishes, a seafood section, a meat and poultry section, six recipes for different types of kimchi, porridges, snacks, cocktails, rice cakes and Korean fusion. Many cookbooks try to be food-blog-type-memoirs at the same time, with mixed success. This book balanced the perfect amount of memories and cultural information to recipes. I finished reading it and immediately wanted to cook something! The author can also be found on tumblr @banchancomic ! If you scroll back into the archives you can find some early drafts of recipes and also great fanart :) 
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bigskydreaming · 4 years
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That post about "I'll keep reading a fic that mischaracterizes Dick even if it angers me because the plot is interesting" but with Scott McCall. I'll come across genuinely interesting concepts and plots and power through for that even when Scott is portrayed negatively in the story, he's there at least and it's either that or wading through 99% of fic which centers Stiles/Sterek and the most common Scott tag being "Scott's a bad friend" ya know?
Honestly, what is it about Scott McCall and Dick Grayson that gets them (mis)treated so similarly by their respective fandoms?
Oh yeah, definitely. Tbh, part of why I’m so loud and obnoxious in Batfandom is because in TW fandom it eventually got to the point where I just had to stop reading fic completely, because I wasn’t finding anything that was Scott-friendly outside of the handful of writers I was already friends with and I just got fed up. And I’m too stubborn to do the same thing twice in two separate fandoms so I just....refuse to give up on DG fic by way of a rousing morning “Not today Satan” pep talk. fhslakhfkal
But honestly, the parallels, there are more than a few:
1) Obviously I do think the racism element has plenty to do with it. Especially in the way “is Scott really even Latino on the show though, I mean did they ever actually SAY it” arguments could be swapped out almost word for word with the “is Dick really even Romani in the comics though, I mean it was just a retcon” arguments. With the primary aim of arguments against this being a factor focusing on just invalidating the idea that either are characters of color in the first place, rather than examining the way people engage with these characters for signs of racism. Instead of trying to refute that there’s anything wrong with certain ways people interact with these characters, people jump right into “well there can’t be racism if the character in question isn’t even REALLY a character of color, y’know not like, a board-certified one with proper accreditation and everything.”
But its definitely interesting when you look at how Dick Grayson’s been perceived by fandom overall, like, in terms of looking back over the years. As someone who’s been in and out of DC fandoms to various degrees since the late 90s, as in before Dick was retconned as being Romani in the first place, and as I’ve said before, he used to be a LOT more popular and forgiven for stuff in the past in fandom.....like, I maintain that if you look back at the early 2000s-2010, aka when that retcon was not just written, but gradually and more fully spread into the fandom’s overall awareness and perception of the character....you can almost like, SEE the empathy gap suddenly click into place once he was more fully solidified as a character of color in a lot of fans’ minds. Even if they won’t admit it because that would require admitting to the racism that then began to seep into how they interacted with this character now, compared to how they’d interacted with this character in the past.
And I think the empathy gap - and the complete refusal to admit that’s even a thing, because its not like these are REALLY characters of color so why would it even apply - like, I think that goes a long way to explaining the way both Scott and Dick consistently have their traumas invalidated and ignored by large parts of their fandoms, with the focus always being shifted to how bad things that happen to them are really MORE bad for how they affect the people around them, etc.
2) It also I think has a lot to do with their personalities and the archetypes they both embody as empathetic caregiver types. I think I described it pretty well here in my BUABS fic:
“What do you know about Impostor Syndrome?"
"It's a term sometimes used to describe over-achievers who have trouble internalizing their accomplishments. Perfectionists who think they're frauds because they don't know how to take credit for their own achievements and say its because of luck or timing or something other people did," Dick frowned, puzzling through both the question and the aim of it. He raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like something that applies to someone as arrogant as me."
"Don't be a little shit, Dick," Dinah said with small smirk. "And you're right, I don't think any of that applies to you. However, it's also used in another capacity, to describe trauma survivors who are unable to internalize their own trauma. Who deflect from it, or mitigate it, treat it as less than it is on the basis that it wasn't as bad as what's happened to someone else. It's especially common in trauma survivors who are noted for being especially empathetic or who have caregiver personality types. People who are so used to self-identifying as someone whose role or purpose is in helping others, that they find themselves unable to identify as traumatized because it might shift the focus to themselves instead of people they feel need it more. Does that behavior sound a little more familiar?"
(For the record, that fic is set in the YJ universe, not the comics, and I go with the approach that Dick and Bruce have a much better relationship there than they do in the comics, and thus overall Dick’s mental health and self-esteem are better than in the comics, generally speaking. I only mention this as a tangent, but like....I think Impostor Syndrome as an issue for perfectionists and over-achievers with low self-esteem DOES pertain to comic book Dick Grayson as well as its trauma interpretation. But anyway).
But point is, I think that describes both Dick and Scott, and their respective approaches to dealing (or not dealing) with their personal traumas. This isn’t a problem in and of itself, as its a valid survivor reaction and issue plenty of people deal with....the problem lies in the willingness of fans to capitalize on the OPPORTUNITIES this presents, as fans of other characters, to keep the focus trained on the characters around these two, and THEIR issues, even at the expense of these two.
Basically, its not in either of their natures to ASK for help and forcefully DRAG focus and awareness to themselves and their issues, for a number of reasons including the fact that I don’t think either character feels they ‘deserve’ that focus or need that help more than other people need theirs. 
And because these characters are the empathetic caregiver archetypes in their respective ensembles, ie the ones who usually take the lead in reaching out to even characters who don’t normally ask for help themselves....there’s often no one else immediately popping up in reader awareness as like, a likely candidate to extend that same awareness and offer of aid to Dick and Scott even without them actually asking for it.
(Which, is a large part of my commitment to the theme “Stop assembling your ensembles with just ONE of each archetype, mix and match more, or like....use more hybrid archetypes so you don’t HAVE this problem, and also, stop limiting characters to JUST their archetypes, three-dimensional people aren’t confined to only acting upon a limited menu of actions and impulses, and neither should three-dimensional characters be.”)
And then of course there’s the additional component, linked to point #1, that a lot of people refuse to write other characters seeing their need for help or support or offering it even when they do see it, simply because like....they don’t WANT these characters to HAVE help or support.
3) The Intelligence Factor - as in, do they really have it? Both Scott McCall and Dick Grayson are repeatedly and consistently established in their respective canons as being extremely intelligent, and no, not JUST in emotional intelligence. I don’t like sounding like I’m undervaluing that particular form of intelligence, I’m just really irritated by the way people go about saying “oh I do admit they have very high emotional intelligence” like they’re throwing them some kind of a bone. LMAO. No. They both have high emotional intelligence, true, but they’re also extremely intelligent across the board in all other ways. Both are excellent strategists, quick-thinking and repeatedly out-maneuvering even other noted strategists, both display a quick grasp of new information and an ability to see how and where and when to PUT that information to use in practical applications, etc. These are not dumb characters, at ALL.
But fandoms have this weird committment to the idea that only the Smartest Person In The Room REALLY matters, and like, there can only be one of those per room, or like, at most two, so that they can be a matched pair and make kissing noises and then very smart babies, or like, they can be the doting (smart) father and his adored (smartest) son, all others can go home now.
Like, no, that’s not how that works. A room full of geniuses does not suddenly become a room full of ONE genius and a bunch of random and irrelevant cuz they’re dumb non-geniuses the second someone deemed King of the Smarties enters the room. That’s not a thing. Stop acting like that’s a thing, fandoms. Nobody’s intelligence is actually threatened by the presence of more than one character with notable intelligence. Also fuck off with the adoration of notable intelligence like people have more value the more decimal points of pi they can recite off the top of their head. That’s not a more evolved human being, that’s just a nerd. Nerds have value but no more than people who like, chose other life pursuits aside from nerddom.
(Not actually intended as a slight against nerds, just for the record. I say that as both a self-described nerd and also a self-loathing nerd and also lol I’m not a nerd. Look, I’m a very nuanced person okay. I put the complex in complex organism).
But the point here is not just that people are weird about there only being one true genius allowed per ensemble, its that people are WEIRD about how in order to ACTUALLY be smart, you need to like.....accurately match the factory specs for “this is how a smart person looks and behaves.”
And Scott and Dick do not look and behave that way. The sheer number of times - and similar ways - people try to completely discredit the idea they have more than one brain cell by pointing to times they’re being INTENTIONALLY goofy and being like “oh yeah, would a smart person do THAT, hmmmm”.....
Its like...yes? LOL. There is no law that says that a smart person can not be a goofball, or that they are no longer smart if they fulfill a certain quota of actions deemed ‘dopey’ by the official arbiters of smartness.
Similarly the way people like to point at stuff like “my mom buys the groceries” when the writers BEHIND the characters were intentionally trying to play up a comedic moment rather than make a sealed declaration of IQ, and be like, “see, would a smart person be THAT dumb, hmmm?”
First of all, yes, even going off the same canon people try and cite as proof Scott and Dick are too dumb to actually be smart.....you can literally find similarly ‘dumb’ moments for every other TW character....the Sheriff expressed incredulity that Stiles didn’t know what a pendant was, and Lydia was like wtf how are you this dumb at Stiles when he asked if she read the movie the Little Mermaid because he didn’t know there was also a book.....Allison made the same mistake about bestiary as Scott did because the writers were so impressed by that joke they literally had to do it twice....and do not get me STARTED on the number of moments I can point to in comics AND movies AND cartoons where everyone from Bruce to Tim to Jason to Damian and more, like, make utter bonehead moves or utter completely bonehead sentences.
Despite what rumors of my being an ancient eldritch being might have some believe, I did not actually know Albert Einstein personally, but I can still with complete confidence say I GUARANTEE that at more than one point in his life, even he did things that might have been pointed at by time-travelers on vacay as evidence that geez, old-timey smart people were really dumb, huh.
And I think we would all agree that Albert Einstein was actually a very smart man.
But yeah, point is, both Scott and Dick are very smart characters who for a lot of reasons - including personal choice, as in, they don’t really see the appeal in conforming to standards of what a smart person is SUPPOSED to be like (especially when those standards have a weird amount in common with tendencies often described as elitist or condescending or like, having or pertaining to the qualities of an asshole) - like, they just don’t typically behave or conduct themselves in ways that match up with a lot of the assumptions people have for what ‘makes’ a genius or what that’s supposed to look or sound like.
And because they don’t SEEM like they’re that smart, a lot of effort then gets put into insisting that they’re definitely not, and they can’t be, because see look how dumb here and here and here.....which then leeches over into other aspects of the characters and their stories and dynamics, and then combines with the issues resulting from Point 1 and Point 2 and probably two more I’m not thinking of at the moment but are definitely there so that by their powers combined.....fandom summons Captain Dumbass to take over most interactions with these particular characters. And thus repeatedly and insistently engages with these two and their stories only in very dumb, very limited, and VERY annoying ways.
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drummergirl231-2 · 4 years
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I don’t even know what to title this.
I’ve been trying to come up with a title for I don’t know how long and now I’m legit crying because I can’t even figure out how to start this post... so this will have to do.
I’m not okay. I can’t keep up with all this and everything going on in my life. I feel like I’m strapped into a car on a collision course for a brick wall and I’m just frozen in fear anticipating the impact. 
Everything has kind of been spiraling out of control in my personal life (if you want you can skip to the bolded headings for what’s relevant to this blog).
My parents - whom a lot of you know about from my GoFundMe - are moving from California to Tennessee. I can’t afford to stay in California so I have to go with them (though they insist my going with them is my choice and that I totally have other options... but whatever. At least I’ll be out of California). 
If my job can’t transfer me, I’ll lose it just when I was going to get the most hours (and therefore money) of the year, but my parents refuse to wait until after Christmas to sell.
My grandma recently died and even though my grandpa (step-grandfather) invited us up to the house at one point, his horrible son met us on the porch and rudely refused to let us in, telling us his father wasn’t seeing anyone. Now that his horrible son has left, grandpa invited my uncle and aunt up, but not my parents or me, and my uncle said he’s going to do what he can to bring us what we want of grandma’s. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my grandma because her death was sudden, and now I’m scared I won’t get to say goodbye to the only grandpa I’ve ever known, either, because I’m moving to Tennessee and he’s 89 and has heart problems and I’m scared he’ll die of a broken heart in every sense. I’d have liked to say goodbye to the house, too. My grandma didn’t want a funeral. She was one of those “Don’t fuss over me,” types who fussed over all of us. I have zero closure in this situation.
I have to get ready to move but have no idea how/when/where to start. I’m terrified of the 4 day journey to Tennessee, trapped in an SUV with my parents and five animals, including my poor elderly cat, Kira, whose anxiety makes mine look mild. I have Misophonia and so many food allergies I can’t eat out so I don’t know how I’ll do food for four days. My parents say they won’t bring the camping stove for me to warm up my lunches. It’s like they never raised an autistic child.
Things have been crazy for “Kristen,” me, but losing my grandparents, my home, possibly my job, and moving far from any family or friends I trust aside... things haven’t been easy for “DG,” me, either. 
As badly as I want to start a youtube channel about Autism, Misophonia, food allergies, gut health, emotional abuse, etc., I cannot find the answers no matter how much I google when it comes to the tech problems I’ve faced. And I’m not even sure when I’d be able to record these videos because my parents are almost never gone. And when they are it’s not for long, and I just want to relax, and breathe, and be in the living room, and talk and sing out loud, and do all the things I don’t get to do when they’re here for just a little bit. I stay in my room so much I feel like I’m a diver holding my breath and as soon as they leave I can surface and gasp for air. 
Also, I’m getting more and more self-conscious about my acne and this one tooth I have that’s crooked because my mom has enjoyed commenting on them lately and it makes me kind of scared to share my face with the internet and last night I legit had a dream about trying to get these things fixed with more braces and foundation. Like what even I literally don’t care about this stuff when people don’t comment on it. Why do I have to be so sensitive?
Problem is, I am figuring out why. I’ve been doing so much research on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic abuse to try to understand my parents and childhood and young adult years, that not only have I been able to identify it in my abusers, but I’ve found some traits in myself. And I’ve searched and studied and tried to see if I have it and after this inward witch hunt I have to conclude I don’t have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I have a few signs of vulnerable narcissism. Even if they’re not enough for a label, they’re definitely things I need to work on (things like hypersensitivity, victim mentality, sulking and shut down, self-sabotage, things like that... and now apparently vanity, but only when people frequently give me flack about my face). Trouble is I don’t know how to work on these because I have no mentor, no counselor/therapist, no pastor, nothin’. And most of the videos about Narcissism are about identifying it or surviving it as the victim, not growing past the traits, because full-blown narcissists generally don’t acknowledge their flaws and try to fix them. So I’m at this annoying and fruitless phase of “self-improvement” where I just frequently scold myself for my thoughts.
YouTube ambitions and flaws aside, I have people waiting for the next chapter of my fanfic, and no one’s been pushy or anything, but there’s this huge weight on me to write, write, write, but with everything else going on in my life I just feel stuck. Like my brain is just “NERP.” And I feel guilty, like I’m the biggest disappointment to people.
And then there’s this blog itself. 
It’s begun to feel more like an obligation for me rather than recreation. Every week I dread the time after a new episode airs. I want to make posts at my pace, about what I want to talk about, like what I used to do. 
But sometimes the link I get has a weird video player window that I can’t make the right size to make decent gifs, and sometimes I can’t even take screenshots because when I pause it it’ll have the play triangle in the middle of the screen and the bottom of the screen will get dark, or sometimes the link just stops working. So I wait for the episode to go up on watchcartoononline because that’s where it works best for me but in the meantime I’m missing out on the fandom being online and by the time the episode goes up I’m just like, “What if the post I make of this moment gets like zero notes because it’s already been giffed and talked about a million times and I’m late to the party? What if I’m disappointing everyone?”
I try to not post anything until I can post about the episode properly, and I’ve asked people not to send me asks or messages with episode spoilers until they’ve seen proof on my blog that I’ve seen the episode, but that hasn’t stopped them. I get spoilery asks anyway.
I get a link relatively quickly but mainly I ask for people to wait for proof I’ve seen the episode because I want a chance to get my own thoughts on the episode out first before people ask me about specific things or straight up demand I talk about what they want me to talk about on my blog. 
For a couple weeks I even made all my posts and saved them as drafts first so real quick I could just post ‘em all in a row and get ‘em out, because I know the second I post one thing I’ll have everyone going “OMIGOSH SHE’S ONLINE,” and trying to send me asks and messages and I’ll be trying to juggle them all while trying to make more posts about what I want to talk about. I feel like I have to reply to those messages because if I don’t I’m scared they’ll see me make another post after they’ve sent their message and be like, “What the heck she’s online why won’t she reply to me?” So sometimes I’ll just stop posting and hope and pray they think they just missed me or something, which isn’t fair to them.
But then I’ll see something new on my dash - art from khionyohann, new screencaps for the upcoming episode that DuckTalks shared - and I’ll want to reblog it, but then I’ll think: “I can’t reblog anything... people will know I’m online then. And I still haven’t posted about the episode. I can’t do things out of order. They’ll think, ‘Why isn’t she talking about the new episode? Why isn’t she answering my asks? Why isn’t she replying to me?”
And by the time the episode gets posted on watchcartoononline (and as long as I don’t have a migraine and I’m not paralyzed with fear), I make my posts, but by then I feel like I’m super late and I don’t even know what the point is of me reblogging things anymore, if I even remember there were things I wanted to reblog.
My time here has become nothing but me trying to please people while simultaneously trying to hide from them.
So... blarg. All that to say, I’m closing my ask box for a while. And I’m sorry to disappoint people. I’m just so overwhelmed by everything right now. Extroverted thinking isn’t even a cognitive function that comes naturally to an INFJ! It’s utterly exhausting. 
And while I do still want to do more posts about the latest episode, I hope you’ll understand that things are just crazy for me right now and I’m not in a good place. I’m trying to be okay and I’m trying to be so excited about an episode that I get motivated enough find ways to blog about it no matter what but I don’t have the energy. I want to reblog stuff, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to interact. 
And for the few I consider true friends on here, please know I’m not asking you to leave me alone or anything. Just know I might not respond as soon as you message me... which, honestly, you’re probably all used to by now, but I still feel super guilty about it.
I just need to simplify my time on here a little bit because I’m not okay.
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authorgeek · 3 years
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Let me Break it Down for ya (and for me).
Fundamentally - for me, everything culminates to “Life, and Humanity is sacred and should be treated/protected as such.” Above property. Above Money. Above the judgement and opinions of others.
Now, for the nuance, and a practice in self-examination, specifically because I don’t want to leave this unexamined. I want to know I feel the way I do for a reason, and be able to record what those reasons are.
I am a disabled woman and I come from a long line of disabled family members. I’ve watched our pain be dismissed, and our diagnoses disregarded. I’ve heard my sister grow up being called the R slur and being asked about my physical appearance - “Are you short enough to be a M#dg#t (and yes, that’s a slur too)?” - much of my childhood. I’ve seen first hand how ableism dehumanizes us, especially when we cannot work/hold jobs, and commodifies us when we can. I’ve seen how America denies its most vulnerable healthcare (this includes the scariest buzzword of them all, abortion - because if we actually cared for the health of our women and children the need for abortion in the first place would drop right along with the number of unplanned pregnancies).
I am also a student who has grown up under the threat of gun violence in our schools. I’ve been through countless threat events and drills in preparation for an active shooter. (I thank God and consider myself lucky every time it crosses my mind that I’ve never personally been in an active shooter situation.) I am afraid of unattended cans/bottles/packages, loud noises, and public spaces because of the trauma this overhanging threat placed upon me and my peers as we grew inside of it. I’ve seen first hand how student voices are ignored and silenced by those in power.
I have black friends and loved ones. I try my very best as a white woman not to speak over them, but to amplify their voices, listen to, stand with, and defend them. I care more about black lives than city property, or profit. I also, as an infertile woman, love adoption and may one day raise a child of a different race and ethnicity than myself. I want to do so, prepared In love and knowledge of what that child’s experience will be like as a BIPOC or AAPI child in America. It is dangerous to pretend “their” problems do or should not impact me simply because I’m a white woman. There is no “them”. only “us” and I have the unique ability as white to act like it by following their lead, and I intend to fiercely.
I’ve found a community like no other among my LGBTQIA+ siblings. I have friends with They/Them pronouns. I use She/Hers but the found family and friendships I’ve made are deeper and more cherished than I will ever be able to express. The warmth and acceptance granted me, of questioning, and of exploration are so meaningful and I wouldn’t sacrifice them for anything. I never would have been able to come to terms with my own position within the queer community or found the language to communicate the way my heart works without them and I’ll never be able to thank them enough for that. I only hope I can return the same unconditional love they’ve shown me. 
In as simple as I can put it, there it is My most “nutshell” experience that’s led me towards what some may see as extreme, or as a certain “agenda”, specifically in my support of BLM or the Queer community. You may say it’s “Divisive” or “Intolerant” and lament my inability to find a middle ground or compromise. I lament your seeing humanity, in all its ever existing diversity and beautiful complexity, as “agenda” or “radical”. I cannot compromise because I do not wish to. I believe that disabled, queer, people of color are people. To compromise on that would be to compromise their humanity, and would make me a part of the problem. This is the problem I see with the white centrist or independent. If you’re looking for a middle ground and willing to find a compromise here, it’s because you weren’t truly valuing or seeing people as people in the first place.
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bebepac · 4 years
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WIP 06.17.2020
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Another WIP Wednesday is upon us, and I’m back to work.   I work the next 4 days (Wed-Sat)  so i’ll try my best to work on these stories and get them out, as always I will try, but can’t make any promises. I usually don’t have to work Saturdays, but unfortunately this one I do, so that eats into my writing time, which when I’m working, I do a lot of my writing time on the weekend.   
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I am working on my last chapter of Scar Tissue before the Epilogue!  Whaaaaat?!?!??!??!!?!?  Thank you to everyone that’s liked, commented and shared this one.  As It’s the first series I have completed.   I’m sure if you messaged me about this story line, you guys know, my intent for Scar Tissue in the beginning was it to be a once shot, then I kept feeling like it had more potential, and then it evolved on me.  
What are my fellow writers up to?!?!!? 
Tagging: @queenjilian @burnsoslow @loveellamae  @dcbbw @bbrandy2002 @nomadics-stuff @kimmiedoo5 @cordonianroyalty @cordonia-gothqueen @lodberg @glaimtruelovealways @custaroonie @texaskitten30 @janezillow @atha68 @my0123456789universe @kaitycole @indiacater @losingbraincellseveryday @furiousherringoperatortoad @marietrinmimi @hopefulmoonobject @annekebbphotography @sevenfuckslefttogive @ac27dj @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @ritachacha @mrsdrakewalkerblog @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @islandcrow @axwalker @sanchita012 @queenwalton @flutistbyday2020  @the-soot-sprite @gabesmommie1130 @mom2000aggie @jared2612 @gibbles82  @thanialis @ramseysno1rookie @lovablegranny @hopelessromanticmonie @datynasuha @storylineofnothing @coolpsychicempathhumanoid @cordoniaqueensworld  @iaminlovewithtrr@thatdoctorownsme @seriallover99 @drake-colt-lover-99 @amandablink @kaishamarley @choiceswhodunnit @marshmallowsandfire @yukinagato2012 @princessemberphoenix @random-blog-of-random-stuff-etc @princess-of-fuckup​ @batgirlassociationofgothamcity​
First up we have:
This is Who I Am
My Country is Burning Chapter 3
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Bebe was completely exasperated.  “Ellie! What is that in your hair?!?!?!?!?"
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“I’m sorry Mommy."
"Is it chewing gum?"
"Yes, I fell asleep."
“With chewing gum in your mouth?”
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Liam chuckled.   Both of them had agreed Ellie was more like him, with her mannerisms and her seriousness. Maybe Ellie was a little bit like Bebe too.  Bebe could fall asleep anywhere.  When Bebe was pregnant with Christopher, she fell asleep mid sentence, talking to him, while eating an ice cream cone. It was only when the ice cream started melting down her hand, Liam woke her up.  He thought it was hilarious,  pregnant Bebe did not, and cried because it was a waste of good mint chocolate chip ice cream.
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“Yes.” Ellie nodded.
“Where did you even get chewing gum from?”
“Uncle Maxwell.”
"He hasn't been here in two weeks?"
"He gave me the whole pack."
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She noticed Liam walk out of the room.
"Go get it and bring it here."
"But Mommy…."
"Right now Eleanor Alexandria Rys."
Little Ellie stormed off, just as Liam walked in the room.
"Where's she going?"
"To get the gum your friend gave her."
"Don’t look at me like that Bebe. Technically, that's your brother you know, since  House Beaumont sponsored you."
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"I don't want to cut her hair Liam, she has such beautiful hair."
"You're not. Besides it's just hair. It will grow back."
Liam set the jar of peanut butter next to the comb.
"I mean it's different with Black hair. My hair doesn't grow nearly as fast as her's.  Just the thought of us cutting her hair upsets me. Because in the Black World, our children have good hair."
"Is there such a thing as evil hair?"  Liam played with Bebe's own curls, making scary, monster sounds. Bebe swatted Liam’s hand away from her hair.
"Yes there is, well bad hair.  There has always been a negative connotation that darker skinned people’s hair is more coarse and thick, and harder to manage."
"Your hair isn't like that."
"I'm lucky. Without chemicals in my hair, when I wet it, it curls, or coils, just like our children's hair does. Not every Black person’s hair does that."
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"Mine curls like that too, well it gets wavy."
"Yes, but we have different textures, Liam.  My hair is more coarse than their hair, and the kid's hair is softer, than mine, but not as soft as your hair."
Ellie came back to the room in a huff. She handed Bebe the gum. Bebe raised her eyebrow giving her the Mad Mommy look.
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"Miss Crown Princess, Queen Mommy is not liking that little attitude right now. It had better change fast."
"Mommy means business Ellie." Liam said as backup. 
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Liam looked at their daughter, who her face was still pink, with her arms crossed over her chest, with a sour, pouty look on her face.  Even with her little mad face, he thought she was the most beautiful little girl in the world.  No wonder he was the pushover, when it came to disciplining the children.  Every time he looked at their children, he always thought that they made such beautiful children together.  
"What are we going to do about her hair?"
"I already got it. Peanut butter. As many times as I got gum in my hair as a kid thanks to Leo.  Ellie come here, Daddy will fix it."
Ellie looked back at Bebe. "Daddy, Mommy always does my hair. Do you know how?"
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Liam's face registered shock, looking at Bebe for help.
"Daddy knows how to do this part to get the gum out, and Mommy will show him how to do the rest."
Liam pulled Ellie onto his lap, and worked the peanut butter around the gummed parts in Ellie's hair. Waiting for a few minutes then gently using the comb to get the gum out.
"Now we just have to wash it, so Daddy won't get hungry and add apple jelly to it too, and eat you up!"
He made munching sounds at Ellie as he kissed her cheek, causing her to giggle. He picked her up in his strong arms. Bebe followed them to  Ellie's bathroom.
  ^*^*^*^*^* next story *^*^*^*^*^*
A Couple of Firsts 
Pop’s Place Chapter 3
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“So since your plan is for us to catch our dinner, I packed us lunch, Drake. Cuz there is no way in hell my F.A. is going to be on a boat all day starving to death. “
Drake laughed. “Don’t call yourself that Mia.”  
She slapped her thighs.  “What do you call that?”
“Sexy as hell.”  He kissed Mia’s lips.  
“Smart Man.”  Mia giggled.
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“I packed roast beef and cheese sandwiches,  turkey and cheese, and because i’m a kid at heart, some PB & J  as well. Some chips, some fruit, and sodas and water.”  
“Damn girl, we are not trying to live on this lake for a week, and what kind of J?”
“My favorite, apple jelly.”
“Mine too Mia.”    
“I just wanted you to have some choices. I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I packed a little bit of everything.”  
Drake smiled.  He’d never had someone care so much about what he thought before.  
“I’m low maintenance that way, I’ll eat anything.  Turkey and cheese is fine, so is roast beef, even PB & J.  Hell I’d eat one of each, if there was extra.”
“She smiled, you’re going out with a cook’s daughter, there’s always extra. That’s how we roll.”  
She put the cooler on the table.  Drake laughed.
“Where the hell did you find a hot pink igloo cooler at?”
“The  Gentral, where else?” 
( author’s note:  The Gentral = Dollar General, a store that seems to be on every corner in the south, and you that was Walgreens, naw bro. It’s a Southern Thing, does a hilarious video where they are Dollar General execs, and they find out that they are not building new DG stores, that they are building themselves. HILARIOUS )
Drake smiled.  “You 'bout ready?”  
Mia grabbed her hot pink sunglasses.  “I’m ready now!”
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 *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* next story *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
The Recovery
Scar Tissue Chapter 13 
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Riley and Liam had been going to therapy for almost 9 weeks.  They had therapy sessions separately as they were dealing with separate things, and marriage counselling sessions together.
They walked in the office holding hands.  They never walked into the therapy room holding hands.  They were usually so tense, and nervous.  The therapist noted this as a positive step in the right direction as they had taken baby steps.  
Dr. Murdoch looked at the two of them.  
“How have things been since last week?  Queen Riley would you like to start?”
“Things went okay.  We moved back into our chambers from my old room this past week.  I’m sleeping through the night completely there, so is Liam.  I’m not having those panicky feelings in the room anymore like I'm being watched.”
“That’s good to hear  Queen Riley.  Did you do two complete the date nights I assigned?
“Yes and no.”
“The dinner date went great, I really had a nice time with Liam. It was just so nice just being the two of us, and we danced, and it was beautiful.”  
“So then the massage date didn’t go well then?”
“I have no problems when I touch him, but I clammed up when he touched me.”
“Because of Drake?”  Dr. Murdoch asked.
“Yes.”
Riley is it okay for me to go to Liam for a little bit to talk to him about things?”
Riley nodded.
She could tell by Liam’s body language he was angry and frustrated after what she had said.  
“I don't know what else I can do Dr. Murdock.  He studied what I did so he could use it against my wife, to make her think he was me,  and now he’s turned her against me.  It’s like he has tainted everything I’ve done, because he copied me so perfectly with her.  And I love my wife, and I just want to be able to make love to her again.  Laying next to her and not being able to touch her intimately is killing me.  The last time we tried to make love,  She screamed.  My wife screamed because I was touching her!!!!!!  Our guards burst into the room thinking she was being attacked.”  We haven’t been intimate in over 4 months now.  I miss her.” 
“You think I don’t miss you Liam?  Of course I miss you. I still want you.”
“THEN YOU SHOULD TRY HARDER!!!!”
“I AM TRYING LIAM!!!  WHEN YOU TOUCH ME, I SEE HIS FACE!!!!”
“We’re going to take a break.  King Liam,  I need you to step out a few minutes, so I can have a few minutes alone with Queen Riley okay?”
Liam got up and walked out slamming the door behind him.
“I don’t know if we’re going to make it through this. Dr. Murdock because I can't let him touch me. He needs a level of intimacy, I can’t give him.  I’ve even thought about asking him if there is anyone he wants to go into a Cordonian Agreement with, until I am able to give him what he needs again.”
“No, Queen Riley, that's not the answer.  I’m afraid if you go that route, it will permanently drive a wedge between the two of you.  You have to work through this together.  Can I ask you a question?”
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*^*^*^*^*^*^* end of chapter teasers *^*^*^*^*^*
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michael-weinstein · 4 years
Text
Leave me alone!
WARNING: This post is a venting-out of boiling anger, which can amount to mental illness. Maybe not for those weak of heart, but for sure for those who caused me so much anxiety, and contrarily, those who want to help me out of this. As for everyone else, read and suffer.
Well, corona, the world is practically on fire, and what else... Oh yes. Things in the relatively more intimate world (that is, for me) - namely, school, my followings on Instagram, YouTube and email subscriptions - keep bothering me to an incredible extent. I was wanting to write this blog post since March honestly, but I didn't find the time and the need to vent everything out. Now, though, that I am really mad, I'm somewhat thankful for the opportunity, because I'm making my opinions known, and merely hoping that they get more circulation than before.
My main classical music following had been Deutsche Grammophon and Decca (through email and Instagram, and - in the case of the latter - 2 YouTube channel subscriptions), the Berlin and Vienna Philharmonic Orchestras (Instagram), Norman Lebrecht's Slipped Disc (email) and the ClassicsToday.com editor David Hurwitz (YouTube viewing). All of the following had, to a certain extent, drive me insane in the past few months, in ways that I can't describe (one time with Hurwitz, it was so much so I needed to vent my anger in this very outlet). To a certain extent, for those who remember, the same happened with the Mahler Foundation in May, but since writing that post, I've come to realize that not only this is pretty much not important (at least much less than it seemed at the time), there are far worse issues that I'll need to address (I won't yet, perhaps to get more reading and get the image fixed, but I'm hoping I will address this important issue relatively soon). My great bane with the BPO and VPO, but especially with DG, came around the time of the Salzburg Festival in August, which was itself a bane all by itself, but by having these 3 leading musical institutions being an important part of the Festival just made me go bonkers. I don't really had a problem with the Festival being held at the time, when corona cases where relatively low, as long as the Festival was being sensitive, and did things on a much smaller scale as they had said at the beginning that they would. But the moment that they do Elektra and Mahler's 6th, whatever social distancing there would occur in the audience, with so many people onstage and/or in the pit, they're just calling for trouble. It is indeed something of a miracle that there were no casualties during the Festival, but I really think it would have been smarter not to take the risk, whatever the need for culture (besides, probably only those who would attend are those who are "jet-set" and are in Salzburg every year for the wrong reasons, but I will maybe discuss that sometime). The Vienna Philharmonic were therefore one of the major partners in the crime, more so than their Berliner counterparts. But, and this is the important part, I would very much in my hoped-for career as probable pianist and maybe composer, but most as conductor, want to collaborate with the Berliners and the Viennese. They are orchestras that I maybe don't need, but I do want to make music with. The same thing can't really be said for Decca and, more importantly, DG. Interestingly, Decca almost seems dead in the way that they rarely post on Instagram, sent a newsletter or upload on YouTube, while DG is excessive beyond normal human standards. I think they post on Instagram averagely 3 times a day, upload on YouTube twice, and send a newsletter each weekend. How the hell can you bear such a thing?! There are more adventurous labels with pretty "big names" (Alpha, Chandos and Hyperion, to name just three), that I would feel more comfortable to record with, than DG, Decca and probably also Warner (I don't follow them anywhere, which is probably just as good, considering the pervious sentences).
In addition, throughout the Festival the Karajan institue also helped to bring in their own click-baiting and "martyring" of their namesake. My attitude to Karajan as man and conductor is more mixed than it was in the past (most of which can be attributed to Lebrecht), but ever since then they made me emotionally sick with statements to the effect that Karajan was the greatest conductor ever. I have to admit that I'm much more of a Bernstein fan, and that I had barely listened to Karajan recently, but the Bernstein Offices never, apart from the centenary, did interviews of the Karajan kind, and even I'm going to admit that some Bernstein interpretations are less well than some others, maybe even than Karajan's!
So now with the Salzburg band-wagoning out of the way, there are two other culprits: Hurwitz and Lebrecht. I've encountered Hurwitz fairly recently, and I should add, that I have rather mixed relations towards him. One day in the morning, I see a video he uploaded and it makes me absolutely mad (see the link above), and then in the evening he uploads a humorous roast with which I completely agree. But generally, I'm just mixed with him. My relation to Lebrecht is also mixed, though generally positive. He has just finished a survey of most of Beethoven's output. However, his behavior regarding the "Schenker storms" is either complete misunderstanding or just outright conservative foolery.
There are 2 other "classical music" personalities which I have to mention. My relation with Mark Berry is very mixed, but he hasn't bothered me as much since March, as the main activity on his blog Boulezian (shows pretty much where he is heading) is concert and opera reviews, and he didn't have much of a chance to that, so I'm thankful for that. I will give him credit though that he is actually one of 2 people whose blogs gave me the impetus to start mine.
The other one is the other "classical music" personality I want to talk about briefly, Kenneth Woods. He is music director of the Colorado MahlerFest, the English Symphony Orchestra, and writer for his blog View from the Podium. I like him very much, as I share a lot of his musical affinities - Mahler and Shostakovich, to begin with - as well as professional insights into music of (among many others) Strauss and - perhaps more importantly from an interpetive point of view these days - Beethoven. I kind of just happen to agree with many of his opinions, and even those which I didn't think of before, I agree with them because they make sense to me. I think that the reason he appeals to me, is because he's a conductor and a cellist (also used to be a guitarist, and does it in his free time!). With the exception of Hurwitz, who was a percussionist in local orchestras, everyone else I mentioned above are scholar-critics. Woods appeals to me because he's a practical musician (and he keeps a rule not to talk about any living conductors, or at least not mentioning them by name). He was an orchestral cellist, as well as a soloist and chamber music partner as well, so he experiences the actual music world of making music from both sides, as cellist and conductor. Hurwitz, Lebrecht and Berry all might have interesting observations, but their ultimate test is in the performance lab, and that is why I like Woods so much.
So far, I've dealt with classical music's personalities and industry. Now I have to deal with my friends and other Instagram followings. It's more irritating, because even though they are dishonest like the "establishment-industry", they are closer in my world in a sense. Yom Kippur was recently, and I can still remember everyone around just going "I'm sorry, God" and all the other standard things one says before Yom Kippur. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU KIDDING!!! Everyone, especially yourselves, know that we promise never to do these things again, and barely an hour has passed since Yom Kippur is out, and we come back to do those things again. Every year it happens. Everyone knows it, it is simply an open secret that nobody either needs or wants to say. I say the same on myself, by the way. Yom Kippur is a complete lie for us, because neither me, you, and even the most just and Mitzvah-keeping person on Earth, are able to keep the promises that we will get better than this. It never happens. Why do we get flodded with this? It's absolutely no worth. You say that you're "sorry about the way I insulted you"? Complete rubbish. Unless you found out that the entire situation was so stupid you can laugh about it, nobody is sorry about anything they said. The king is naked, and as the meme says, "always has been".
My classmates start growing on my nerves sometimes. The way people just ask for answers so immediately and lazily, without having tried to answer things themselves just makes me go mad. I don't have a problem if they try to do it, or if they're in a rush at the last moment, and ask some guys for answers. But when as soon as the assignment is sent, they ask for someone to do the job for practically 10 other classmates (if not more!), that's too annoying.
My teachers, however, go on a different way of making my life difficult. They don't really annoy me by poking their selfish faces at me as much as expecting me to do everything perfectly. Even those who are kinder (in a sense, since I'm one of the good boys, so kinder practically means that they teach better or are more interesting) make me mad. There are only 2 teachers (another comes close) in the entire school I'm able not only to appreciate, but also to love learning with them. Fortunately, one of them is my homeroom teacher. Without these few teachers, I wouldn't care about school at all. It could just go to hell. We currently have a shutdown, but I still remember a few weeks ago that during a math class, I needed to read my score of Shostakovich's 4th just to keep myself from making my mental health even worse than it was (and probably still is). And even during shutdown, things are not improving. Zoom calls were to be a complete waste of time, were it not for my piano lessons and (sometimes) therapist sessions. History class is especially badly taught. The teacher of that class is of the kind of "the smaller the group - the better", because when I was with her in smaller groups she truly was better. Mind you, I'm the nerd guy who loves history (though I'm probably not the only one in our class), and she managed to make history boring. That's a complete failure. Sports class is a complete waste of time in ways I can't really describe. You can only feel it.
I have though been somewhat fortunate since May and June. Because of my critique of the Mahler Foundation and its online Festival, I've got in touch with a 8th-grader (they/them) from Canada, an a college sophomore in English literature from Florida. We three formed an online gang of just us, getting together on the basis of our love for Mahler and Shostakovich. With their advice, having understood that I will need some really fitting music to get me through the year, I've decided that I will listen on my way to and back from school, as well as during breaks, to listen to nothing but Shostakovich. That plan sort of fell through pretty quickly (by which I mean, only 3 days), but Shostakovich was a great part of my phone repertoire in these first 3 weeks of the school-year. In the last week, however, Henze's Fantasia for Strings took over, and it was somewhat fitting, given that the music began its life as Henze's score for Young Törless, an adaptation of the novel by the fairly similar name of Robert Musil, by Volker Schlöndorff (his directorial debut). These two, the 8th-grader and the sophomore, are practically my main lights these times, when we sometimes meet for a call on Discord at night.
However, these few lights are still engulfed by the complete darkness and hypocrisy that surrounds me now. I've had enough! My complaints go out now especially to the education system in this country which is just reacting horribly to the situation! I can simply go crazy from that! All the Instagram personalities, do me a favor, and please do consider those who are probably less well mentally than you are, and stop showing the way you're enjoying yourselves in pools and parties. And cut the "no filter" crap! If something would have really been with no filter, it would be ordinary and dull. To quote Alex Ross, who in turn paraphrases Nietzsche, I'm done with "the lie of the grand style". Less Wagner (in his conservative bits) and his idiotic imitators, Brahms, Mendelssohn, and all those who thought that music stopped with Beethoven, more Mussorgsky, Scriabin, Schoenberg, Berg, Webern, Satie, Stravinsky, Bartok, Shostakovich, Weill, Hindemith, Weinberg, Bernstein, Britten, Nono, Berio, Henze, Messiaen, Lutoslawski, Ligeti, Penderecki, Schnittke, even Boulez and Cage. And please do more meaningful Bach, Vivaldi, Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, Berlioz, Liszt, Bruckner, Tchaikovsky, Mahler, Richard Strauss, Debussy, Ravel and Sibelius.
(Quick sidenote: I have to admit, that this post was written in turns, I wasn't commited to write it. Sometimes I got super angry and vented.)
A few days ago, my sophomore friend sent me a link to a Discord server, where she, the 8th-grader and a couple other friends were part of, and asked me if I would join in. I said I would join gladly. This is my first Discord server, and therefore I've got 4 other friends. This is where I feel at home, where I belong (not in terms of family, thank God, but in terms of friends). I really do prefer being with them than with my classmates.
Our educational system is either a joke, or a gulag. What is the point to have being taught the material on Zoom, for averagely 6 and a half hours a day, 5 days a week, and putting even more workload on us than we had been in school physically, and even more than when we studied online from March to June! And then they expect us to ace through the final exams that we have in the next 2 years! Once in the past few months, I've once wondered about a question: would I prefer to ace my exams, but thereafter being so mentally and emotionally shocked that I will need psychaitric treatment? Or should I not do them at all, but still being able to do what I love doing and be happy with myself? After thinking about it for several seconds, I answered that I would prefer the latter, and ever since then I've been saying this to certain people around me unhesitatingly.
Leave me alone! I'm not able to cope with all of this! I'm feeling so empty, I don't even want to eat a whole ton, sleep a lot, or even die! I'm just empty! I'm barely able to play the piano (that is mentally), I just get tired of it almost immediately! I don't want this to happen! Everything loses its appeal to me!
Over the past few weeks, I've come to know Shostakovich's 8th String Quartet, one of the most autobiographical and depressive pieces ever written. It was composed in 1960, when he had just returned from bombed-out Dresden, where there was a movie filmed about the last days of World War II to which Shostakovich composed the music, but more importantly, it was not long after he had suddenly joined the Soviet Communist Party (probably forced to). These 20 minutes of the quartet feature throughout a musical motif - the pitches D, E-flat, C, B-natural. In German notation they are D, S (in German it's actually Es, but the pronounciation is the same), C, H (B is used in German for B-flat). The composer's name, as rendered in German is: Dmitri Schostakowitsch. This is not the first time he has been consciously using this motif (he had already been doing so for nearly a decade), but this is the most extensive use he has ever made of it. It's as if he is obsessed with himself. Shostakovich, as a result of joining the party, was obsessed with suicide, and most of his works from there on consider death, in a way he rarely did previously, death for completely fatalistic reasons, nothing to do with the authorities. The 15th String Quartet, his last, is even bleaker.
The basic point is that ever since I came to know this piece and the school year started, I've used the slogan DSCH as a symbol of protest. I can still remember having half-done math homework, and before scanning them and sending, I scribbled DSCH clearly and furiously across the top of the first page.
The last movement of Shostakovich's 8th String Quartet, a slow fugue on a theme beginning with the DSCH motif, is the movement in which Shostakovich seems to obsessed with this motif the most. And all I can say is that for the past two months, if not even more, I've been wanting to just say "Leave me alone!" for eternity, like DSCH in that movement. Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone....leave me alone...leave me alone....leave me alone....leave me alone.....leave me alone..... leave me alone..... leave me alone..... leave me alone....... leave........... me.......... alone......... leave......... me........ alone....... leave....... me....... alone............ leave............ me............. alone................ leave.............................. me.............................. alone..............................
leave me alone
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dgcatanisiri · 5 years
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I’m probably just repeating myself on the subject of Dorian/BioWare’s queer male rep here, so feel free to ignore this, I just need to vent some steam on the subject, usual tags are in play here if you want to just silence this stuff.
On a conceptual level, I understand the reasons why Dorian is looked at so positively. He’s a main character in a AAA game, a character whose sexuality is a part of his portrayal in a way that makes it clear WHY he’s not a romance for female characters instead or in addition to. There’s even at the least an attempt at making him more of a rounded character than just being defined by his sexuality.
But I just... DON’T. CARE. for this character as an individual. On a personality level. I find him obnoxious at best, would never move beyond the ‘friend of a friend’ point in my interactions with him, is not someone who I want to spend my time around. All that BEFORE he becomes the worst boyfriend in Trespasser, telling the Inquisitor that they’re now going to have a long-distance relationship (meaning that they don’t even discuss this, he is dictating terms to the man he supposedly loves, and no one at BioWare even thought this might be objectionable). I don’t like Dorian, and nothing can change that at this point.
And, in the way that Inquisition set up its romances, that effectively locks me out of romances, since I’m uncomfortable at best with Bull’s romance - I’m ace, I’m not in the dom/sub style relationships, so Bull literally does not provide what I want (I feel like he COULD, but that wasn’t offered, so...). And so in a game where I theoretically and on paper have choices, I get NOTHING instead.
I know, these are my issues, my problems. But the fact that if I lead with “I don’t like Dorian,” I still feel like I’m sticking my head in a noose for the fandom at large to pull the lever is... It’s many things, but I’m going to stick with a singular word of “aggravating” for right now.
Because I DO understand why fandom would be protective of a gay character in this position. I really do. Hell, I genuinely did start out in that position - go back to the period of my first run through Inquisition in my ‘dg plays dragon age’ tag (it’s like hundreds of pages back now, but...), I romanced him. I was excited. Hell, pre-release, I was excited for what he offered.
But the thing is, I look at him now, with the luster worn off, I don’t see the character that I wanted him to be. I find him a retread of gay characters I’ve seen dozens of times over. Because all his story in the game really cares about is showing him as suffering the most standard story gay people get in media, the “my family couldn’t accept me because of this” story. And... I really don’t need that. Not after seeing every gay character in media I can think of face this.
And I mean, I get it, there’s a reason people stay closeted. Hell, there’s a reason I am not out to the majority of my family (I live in Kansas, I have farm family - I even have a distinct feeling that one of my relatives, who is in like his forties/fifties and isn’t married, is gay, but is content to do the ‘don’t ask, I won’t tell’ thing with the rest of the family, because he still lives in that area). I understand WHY this is still a story that gets a lot of play. And I know that, to the struggling person - not even just kids, there are grown ass adults I know connect to this - who hasn’t come to terms with themselves, it does have meaning.
My issue is just... I have seen this story. I KEEP seeing this story. Even freaking GLEE, where everyone KNEW that Kurt Hummel was gay because from the pilot on, the character was dressed as flamboyantly as possible, had this story, even if it came early - it was still a well they tapped.
And to me, that story getting repeated, over and over, loses its power and impact. It even becomes a weight - this is such a repeated story, all it ends up being for me is a reminder of how HARD it is to be queer. That being queer is, in and of itself, a cause for angst and pain and hardship.
And I just think of what things were like for the version of me who was scared of this part of himself. And what I see is that if all he was getting in his representation of being gay, being queer, is the pain and hardships of being gay, it would just push him further into the closet.
I don’t see empowerment in characters like Dorian, overcoming homophobia. I just see YET. ANOTHER. instance where a queer person faces pain because they dared to try and live openly as themselves. As a reduction to where their queerness is the only thing that they contribute to the narrative, because that’s all that the time the camera focuses on them wants to offer as characterization. That, by making this Dorian’s personal quest, the point where we the players get to spend time learning more about him as a person, the game is saying this is all that it wants you to remember about him, that he’s gay.
And we get that again with Steve Cortez - his time in ME3, despite the fact that the writing of his story wouldn’t need any change if he’d lost a wife, is SOLELY devoted to him getting over this loss, to how he is stuck in that pain, there’s very little done to establish who he is outside of his loss and pain - and then yet AGAIN with Gil, who is being pushed to a heteronormative lifestyle, even though he ISN’T heterosexual. And, like I’ve been over plenty, his writing in Andromeda doesn’t even REALIZE that it’s in the wrong to be pushing him like this.
And all these characters are so dependent on their sexualities as a part of their characterization, being a focal point for how their narratives treat them. If you changed their sexualities, they would need MASSIVE rewrites. Even Cortez, who, yeah, you could make Robert “Roberta,” but if you removed his prior marriage, which, in ME3, is literally about 90% of his characterization... Still needs a new story. Even if it had thematic relevance to ME3′s story of war... In context with his fellow gay men? That doesn’t exactly set him apart.
BioWare offers NUMERIC representation. but when it comes to offering representation that isn’t just “here’s a gay, they talk about gay things, that’s all you need, right?”... No, that’s not all I need.
I need a queer person, a gay person, specifically a male character (I mean, we could talk about BioWare’s handling of F/F characters while we’re here, but I’ve been going on for a while now, this is probably long enough as it is without opening THAT can of worms) who ISN’T defined by the fact that he is a gay person.
Because I’m not. Like, yeah, I talk about it a lot here on Tumblr, and that’s at least part because this is a safe place - here, anyone who’s going to judge me for being queer - being VOCALLY queer - can be blocked and ignored with no problem. But off Tumblr? I have PLENTY of other things that generate potential angst. This isn’t all that defines me.
But this is what defines my representation in BioWare games. And, like I’ve been over recently, I see at least part of it as just the basic generational gap between me and BioWare writers. But that just leads me to where I have no idea how to resolve this issue. Because unless they fit more people at the writer’s table, or established hands leave so they can be replaced - and specifically by younger queer writers who recognize this - I don’t see how this problem fixes itself.
Because they’re going to keep telling the stories they think need telling. And, again, I’m not discounting that the stories selected for... Well, for Dorian and Cortez, at least, I’m never forgiving the bullshit surrounding Gil’s story and how it reduces him to an accessory for a character who is only in the game for like two minutes tops. But... I need different stories.
And the thing is, no one is offering them. My go-to metaphor here is that while they’re focusing on tossing the life preserver to the people actively drowning, I’m still getting pulled out to sea. It’s not that they don’t need help, or I don’t understand why they would be the first focus. But it feels like ignoring that I’m not getting what I need because the perceived need of someone else is “greater,” that I “can wait,” that I’m less “in need,” because I’m not in the position traditionally viewed as being most at risk of self-harm by being without that representation.
Which... At best, it’s cold comfort. At worst, it actively drags you down further that hole, because it leads to that feedback loop of “I’m not important enough to be represented. I don’t really need it as much, I can get by in my own little dark pit.”
And I get that there’s no simple, one step solution. This is something that is caused by factors way beyond just BioWare themselves. I don’t necessarily fault the writers as individuals or anything for only doing so much - I’m aware that they have to make compromises that are imposed on them from on high, and that it’s very likely that if they didn’t have that looming specter of answering to some corporate suit - and corporate suits are, by their nature and definition, conservative at best - they’d offer more, so they try and hit the broad spectrums more than the specific niche, that ANY queer character ends up in a double bind because of the barren landscape they’re posed against, so that everyone wants them to be everything, and get upset when they aren’t.
Just... This is the situation I’m in now. This is the state of affairs that I’m stuck in. Right now, BioWare offers the best options available, but even “best options available” fails to work for me. And that’s... damn disheartening.
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awhitehead17 · 5 years
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Red Challenge: Day Three - Red Alert 
Summary: Tim and Kon have a very promising night planned with one another but it gets ruined when a certain alarm goes off. 
Enjoy! :D
Strong hands were the only thing keeping him up off the floor as he continues to kiss his lips. Kon’s arms were hooked underneath his thighs, his hands resting against the backs of them, almost on his ass. His legs were wrapped tightly around Kon’s waist, his arms locked around the meta’s neck as they share a heated kiss. 
Tim let’s out a moan when he feels Kon squeeze the back of his thighs, the action making him want more. He runs a hand through Kon’s short, cropped hair and his other hand over his shoulders and down his back. Tim pulls out of the kiss breathing heavily. He looks down into Kon’s eyes, “Take us to the bed.” The demand was quiet and came out in a raspy voice. 
Kon doesn’t question it. He does what Tim wants and takes them over to the bed, never letting go of him as he does so. As he begins to walk he stretches up and captures Tim’s lips in another series of kisses, these ones were somehow more sloppily yet heated than the ones before. 
Tim was so caught up in the reality of Kon’s lips that he didn’t even realise that they had made it to the bed until his back was hitting the mattress. Kon had tossed him onto it and was looking at him from the foot of the bed with a hungry look in his eyes. Tim smirks at him as he wiggles on the mattress until his head was on the pillows at the top of the bed. Once situated he crooks a finger at Kon and gestures for him to come forward.
His boyfriend obeys the silent command and begins to climb on the bed, a predatory look taking over his expression. It heats Tim’s inside and he starts to get excited for what’s about to come, because when Kon has that look on his face, it means good things are going happen. 
When Kon reaches him, he straddles Tim at the hips and grabs his wrists before pinning them to the bed. He’s then bending down and kissing Tim once again. Tim allows him to take control, for once enjoying not having the responsibility to worry and take charge of everything. 
It’s not long until Kon moves away from his lips and starts to press kisses over his jaw and down his neck. Tim cranes his neck up to allow more room for Kon. He couldn’t help the moan that escapes him when Kon moves onto sucking his neck. 
Getting lost in the sensation that was Kon, Tim almost missed the shrilling sound of an alarm going off. He feels Kon freeze against him and as his own body tenses up at the sound. No matter what he was doing or where he was, he’s been conditioned to respond to that particular alarm going off.  
Next to his neck Conner groans, not the sexy kind of groaning but the annoyed and fed up kind of groan. “Please tell me that isn’t the red alert alarm going off. I don’t want to stop.” 
Tim lets out his own disappointed groan but starts squirming in Kon’s hold. The meta lets go of him and climbs off the bed as Tim does. Tim is quick to collect his cowl and cape on the back of the chair and his belt which was next to it. With fluent motions he suits himself up and immediately heads for the door knowing Kon was right behind him. 
Whoever was causing the alarm to go off better be worth the fight. Tim is seriously not happy about stopping his activity with Kon for this. The two of them hadn’t been together in almost three weeks, today was the first time they could do something together but as fates would have it of course it wasn’t going to be easy. 
As they run through the Tower’s corridors the shrill of the red alert alarm carried on going off. They need to find the source of it and shut it down. Turning a corner they bump into Bart who was buzzing with energy, “Bart what’s going on? What we dealing with?” Tim questions him as they carry on traveling through the Tower. 
Bart slows down enough for Tim to understand him, “Well, it’s nothing major but the situation is really strange. He’s asking for you.” 
Tim comes to an abrupt stop at hearing that, “Me? Why me? Who is it?” 
“It’s Slade.” 
Tim blinks at him, trying to understand if he heard right or not. After a few seconds he finally asks, “Where is he?” 
“In the common room. He told us that he isn’t there to fight he just wants some information from you.” 
“Right.” Tim says trying to get a grasp of the situation at hand. He looks at Bart, “Go and turn the alarms off then join us back in the common room. Kon let’s go.” 
Bart speeds off without question and Kon flies over to him and picks him up. As they fly through the Tower the red alert alarms turn off meaning Bart’s done what’s been asked of him. Kon gets them to the common room in a matter of seconds. 
He puts Tim down on his feet and they walk in together to find Cassie standing defensively clutching her lasso. She was the only one in the room other than Slade who stood opposite her in full gear. 
Tim comes up beside Cassie and gets his bo staff out, “What do you want Slade?” 
Slade turns and looks at him for a moment before answering, “I want information. Where’s Nightwing?” 
Tim blinks at him for a moment. Of all the things Slade could have asked or demanded that was something Tim hadn’t even considered. The mercenary had broken into the Tower, purposely triggered off their red alert alarm all because he wanted to know where Dick was? Tim couldn’t actually understand the motives behind this action. 
“Why can’t you find him yourself?” 
He hears Slade let out an annoyed huff, “Because it’s taking too long. He’s gone underground and I need him now. So where is he?” 
Tim raises an eyebrow, because wow, Slade is actually being lazy and not bothering to find his brother on his own. He certainly is curious on why Slade would go through so much trouble to find Dick, but Tim figures that he should probably just stay out of it. It wasn’t his business and he’s already got enough on his plate so this does not need to be added to it. 
As for Dick’s whereabouts, well Tim doesn’t actually know. He hasn’t talked to the older man in weeks. 
“I don’t know.” He tells Slade. “I have no idea where Dick is, even if I did I wouldn’t tell you.” 
In one swift movement Slade has a gun pointed at his head. Tim works hard to not roll his eyes at the action. He isn’t fazed by the gun, it’s not the first time one’s been drawn on him and it won’t be the last. Next to him Cassie tenses and he feels Conner step up right next to him in a protective manner. Keeping his eyes on Slade Tim raises a hand at them both, a gesture telling them to step down. 
“Where is he Drake?”
“I don’t know.” He repeats. “I haven’t spoken to him. Now if you wouldn’t mind Slade but you can fuck off out of here. I am not in the mood for your shit tonight. I’ve just got back from a three week mission and you’ve disturbed my very promising night with my boyfriend by breaking into the Tower and triggering off the alarms. If you want Dick, go find him yourself. I am not a messenger.” 
After his rant there was complete silence as his words hang in the air. Even Slade seemed to be hesitant now which Tim would find amusing if he wasn’t pissed off. Tim crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the mercenary through the cowl, daring him to do something. 
Eventually Slade puts down the gun and stares at him, “Very well. I didn’t come here to fight. I’ll find him another way.” 
“Yeah, you do that.” 
With no more words Slade surprisingly disappears without any hassle. Once the assassin had gone his friends all turn to him wide eyed and mouths agape. “Dude, I can’t believe you just told Slade to fuck off and he actually listened.” 
Tim just grunts in acknowledgement and starts making his way out of the common room back to his own room. There’s no point in going back with Kon now, his whole mood has turned sour and there’s no way he’ll be able to relax again for the rest of the night. 
When he gets back to his room he gets his phone out and shoots Dick a message. The whole situation was just bizarre and Tim needed some information on what was actually going on. 
TD: Hey, haven’t spoken to you in a while but Slade just stopped by looking for you. What did you do?
To his surprise Dick actually responded in a really short amount of time. 
DG: What’s up little bro! And really? I haven’t done anything. What was he after?
TD: Not sure. He broke into Titan’s Tower and demanded I tell him where you were. Didn’t ask for details. Personally didn’t know where you are anyway. 
DG: He didn’t harm you did he? 
TD: No, just left me super confused. Any ideas on why he wants to see you? 
DG: Because I’m irresistible. Everyone wants to see me ;)
TD: Ugh as if. Seriously though. Where are you and why does he want you? 
DG: Got injured on patrol about 4 days ago been lying low at one of Jay’s apartments in Blud, probably why Slade hasn’t found me. No idea what he wants though. 
TD: You good? Do you want a hand in dealing with him?
DG: I’m fine Timmy, don’t worry about me. And na, I should be fine, once I’m on my feet I’ll go looking for him. Shouldn’t be anything major, once I find him I’ll let you know. 
TD: Thanks, just be careful. 
DG: Aw, you do care <3
TD: No I don’t. I hope you fall into a ditch and get eaten by a snake. 
DG: Wow Timmy. I’m really feeling the love. 
TD: Night Dick. 
DG: Night little bro! Have sweet dreams! 
Tim turns his phone off and chucks it onto his bed. Well at least he knows Dick is alive. As for Slade he’s sure that Dick will find out and relay what’s going on to him. 
Letting out a sigh Tim takes off his cowl, cape and belt and hangs them up in his wardrobe. He then moves over to the bed and takes a seat on the edge of the mattress. As he does so the door to his bedroom opens up to reveal Conner walking into the room. The meta closes the door behind him and stands looking at Tim. 
“You okay dude?” 
“Fine.”
There’s a pause between them before Conner was asking, “I guess you don’t want to carry on with what we were doing?” 
Tim shakes his head and lets out a soft laugh, “I really would like to but it wouldn’t be the same. The moods gone to be honest Kon. Slade’s appearance has just thrown me off.” 
Conner shrugs as an easy smile appears on his face, “It’s no problem. It’s still getting late though, fancy watching a film or playing some video games instead?” 
Tim shares Conner’s smile, “A movie would be good actually.” 
The meta walks over and places a kiss on Tim’s forehead before walking to the TV. Tim watches him as he sets up the DVD player. Maybe the night isn’t wasted after all, they may not be doing what they originally intended to do but at least it was something. Damn that stupid red alert alarm going off and ruining their night. 
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