#will never understand why birds aren’t considered as cute as dogs or cats

[superhero--imagines]

* There’s so many ways this can go

* But I bet you’d meet him when you moved into his apartment building

* It’s in this -for lack of better words- shitty building in Gotham

* But it’s the best you could do with your budget, plus it’s the only building with a gate

* Not that it means much in Gotham, but something is better than nothing

* (Also if you have a pet/dog, they aren’t charging a pet deposit)

* Jason is someone who lives on the same floor, either next to you or across from you.

* I’ve got two headcanons about neighbor!Jason

* He’s either a friendly neighbor who engages you in small talk whenever you run into each other

* Or he’s incredibly reserved, you hardly ever see him and when you do he enters and leaves his apartment so quick you can’t get a word in

* Overall you don’t really talk to him much

* Honestly you’re probably a little intimidated by him

* He’s like 6’0 and 250 pounds of muscle

* He’s also a beautiful man, so you’re also a bit intimidated by how you’re attracted to him

* Jason barely registers that you’re his neighbor tbh

* So many people filter in and out of these apartments he’s stopped forcing himself to remember their names

* He only notices you when Dick is with him at some point, helping him carry some things from Bruce’s mansion

* “I’m starting to think you’re pretending to need help so you aren’t suffering alone”

* “It took you this long to realize that?”

* You come back from work at this point, in your cutest outfit, you’d had a good day so far

* Riding the wave of confidence you wave at them before disappearing into your apartment

* “They’re pretty cute” Dick whistles, and Jason looks to where you stood

* “I guess” well you did have a pretty face, and every once in a while he can hear your music from his apartment

* It’s always lo-fi beats or something relaxing

* it’s kind of cute too

* “Do they live alone?” Dick asks, and Jason shrugs

* You’re pretty quite, not many visitors, he likes that. The less people around the better

* “I think they have a dog.” He recalls seeing you walk a dog early in the morning, slightly concerned, this is Gotham after all

* “So no boyfriend?” Jason raises an eyebrow

* “Please don’t date my neighbor Dick.”

* “Why, do you want to be their boyfriend?”

* He shoves another box into Dick’s arms to get him to shut up

* Jason notices you a bit more after that, he notices you when you’re at the mailbox getting your mail, or when you’re climbing up the stairs with bags full of groceries

* Unfortunately everytime he sees you it’s followed with “oh, it’s that person that Dick thinks is cute.”

* Which usually makes him grimace.

* One day though, as he’s getting mail he notices a few of the letters he has have your name on them

* Looks like the mail person got the unit numbers wrong

* He sighs, more human interaction he doesn’t really want

* He’s considering just waiting for the post office worker tomorrow so he can slip it in your box, when he sees you in front of your door

* “Hey, I got your mail by accident” he says, sticking out the package. You grasp it with both hands

* Jason can’t help but think about how small your hands are compared to his

* well, someone would surely find that a little cute

* He doesn’t realize he’s staring until a finger digs into the corner, ripping open the plastic.

* “Oh cool, I’ve been waiting for the book for a while, thanks so much!”

* The smile you give him should be illegal

* He can feel his face grow hot, as he nods

* “N-no problem” he mumbles, escaping into apartment.

* It doesn’t really bother you, you go into your own apartment, excited to start your new book

* The back of Jason’s head rests against his front door

* Okay he gets it now, yeah you are pretty cute

* After that things get a bit smoother between you two

* “Is that a new book?”

* “Yeah, I picked it up on my way home, I’ve been meaning to read it for a while”

* “That ones okay, but I like the one the author wrote before better.”

* Jason’s pretty well read, so you two end up mostly talking about books

* “If you want I can write you some recommendations”

* “Sure I would love that!”

* And here comes that smile again, Jason’s not a Virgin, so he doesn’t understand why every time you smile his face erupt into flames and he can’t think right

* “I’ll leave it on your door later”

* Talking about books turns into trading books

* “Hey, you wanted to read Murakami’s short stories right?”

* “Oh, Thank you! Also I got your mail haha!”

* Jason’s starting to wonder if the postal worker is trying to set you both up

* “Hey, are you feeling okay?”

* Jason’s really not

* “I’m just a little tired”

* Just then a cough escapes him

* God dammit

* “Do you want to come in? I have some tea that might help”

* Tea does sound good, but he shouldn’t, adorable neighbor or not he should keep some distance

* “I also have some whisky, if you’re a believer in the medicinal effect of hot toddy’s.”

* Aw hell

* Thats how Jason finds himself in your apartment, sitting on your couch, looking at your rather impressive book collection

* He knew you liked to read, but he’s still impressed

* “Here.” You hand him his hot toddy and a coaster

* He takes a sip and grimaces

* “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

* Your face erupts in flames, you honestly weren’t. In truth you were expecting to get rejected. So to see him here, at your apartment, petting your (dog/cat/bird/etc) is pretty surprising

* “I’m kidding” Jason says, noticing you blush “I like them strong too”

* You’re a little nervous that things will get awkward, but Jason’s a pro at the art of conversation (when he wants to be)

* “You like Scott Fitzgerald?”

* From there the conversation falls into books, to music, to things that are deeper

* “I don’t know, I just thought I’d be further ahead by now yknow?” You say, leaning back in the arm chair.

* Jason’s sprawled out on the couch, no longer trying to make himself as small as possible

* “Where did you think you would be?”

* You’re both drinking straight whisky at this point

* “I don’t know, I just never pictured myself spending all my time at a job I hate. Living in an apartment where the floorboards are coming out, and the paint is falling off the ceiling”

* It’s true, the paint does fall off the ceiling. One time the drywall fell off in a clump and landed beside him when he was sleeping.

* “And honestly, I thought I’d at least have a boyfriend”

* Jason’s head pop up to look at you

* He can be your boyfriend

* The words are dancing on his tongue, but what comes out is:

* “Relationships are over rated, I haven’t dated anyone since 2016”

* “2018 for me,” you grin “I can’t tell if that makes me the winner or the loser though”

* You both laugh, and for a moment Jason thinks that you’re just like him, lonely in your own way

* Maybe you can make each other happy

* But he extinguishes the thought as soon as it comes to life

* He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in your own home

* And as he takes another swig of whisky, he realizes he might be drunk

* So he lets himself laugh with you, excusing himself once it starts to get late.

* “Hey Jason, I realized I don’t have your number.”

* You give him your phone, and he has to try extra hard to make sure all the numbers are entered correctly

* “Cool, I’ll text you about what time is good for us to go to that book store you mentioned.” You say before closing the door behind you

* Jason doesn’t remember inviting you to his bookstore, but he still finds a grin curling onto his face

* You slide against your closed front door

* Your face is burning, and you feel way more embarrassed then you should

* He just looked so handsome when he was smiling, and he said he hadn’t dated anyone for even longer than you

* It doesn’t help that you had quite a few drinks, so you took a shot

* The worst that could happen was that you would have to laugh it off as wanting to be his friend

* Or wanting to know who his book supplier was

* Both were equally true

* You’re feeling even more embarrassed when you feel you phone buzz

* Jason: Do you have the weekend off? We could go then

#batman imagine #jason todd heacanon #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #the red hood x reader #the red hood imagine #batman imagines #superhero imagines #superhero fanfiction #dc comics imagine #bruce wayne imagine #superhero--imagines

[senterya]

It's been an absolute joy reading people's takes on the OC interview that has been floating around recently.

The idea of a Pale Rose interview (read: Fyarh and Nym dragging ex-courtier Reln into this) sounded so oddly entertaining that I wrote it for myself for fun but it turned out... surprisingly okay? So I'm gonna leave it here.

OC Interview: Pale Rose edition

(Draw (or use an old drawing, don’t worry!) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!)

1. Can you introduce yourself?

Fyarh: Sure. I’m Fyarh, founder and – formally – leader of Pale Rose. I’m also the head of the Dreamers’ division in our guild. (turns to the other two) And they are Nymeleia and Reln, head of the Soundless and Courtiers, respectively.

Nymeleia: (with a wide smile) Glad to be here!

Reln: (remains silent – just nods a little)

2. What is your gender identity, orientation, and relationship status?

Fyarh: (after a few seconds of thinking) I’m male, maybe prefer others who identify as that too? Didn’t think too much about it before.

Nymeleia: I’m looking both ways. I’m female and taken, you could say.

Reln: Why is this even– (exhales) ...I’m male, I don’t care what my partner identifies as. And my relationships are not for the public to chew on.

3. Where and when were you born?

Nymeleia: Back in the Grove, all of us. I awoke at Dawn and the boys are both Night blooms.

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

Fyarh: I’m best at stealth and surprise – daggers work just fine with that. If it’s an open confrontation, I prefer a light sword that doesn’t hinder my agility. But I’m trained and still training in hand-to-hand combat too.

Nymeleia: I was trained at the Vigil to be the shield, not the spearhead of the attack. I stay behind and make sure nothing hits that shouldn’t. I utilize shades and magic so technically I don’t need a weapon – a staff or scepter can help, though. I also carry a dagger on me, just in case.

Reln: I’m best with a bow. Two-handed sword if it comes to that. But whatever does the job, really.

5. Lastly, are you happy?

Fyarh: (smiles and glances at the others) I am. I’m on the path my Wyld Hunt laid out to me and I got great allies and friends that are with me every step I take. I’m truly grateful for that.

Nymeleia: (with a soft smile) I feel like I found my calling here. I’m working on a cause and with people that are amazing. I’m pretty happy with that, yes.

(both look over to Reln)

Reln: (after a few seconds of silence, with a cynical smile) Are we just supposed to say yes or no to that? Like happiness is that easy to define. (he glances to the side for a second.) But it’s been better here. Take that as a yes.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Fyarh: The guild is the closest I have to a family in a sense you ask. I think? I’m on good terms with everyone – luckily, I mean... (he laughs a little nervously) ...it’s as it should be.

Nymeleia: I’m with Fyarh on this one. The sylvari in Rose are the closest people to me.

Reln: It really is pointless to ask sylvari about “family” – we’re all technically related, but are strangers at the same time.

Nymeleia: (with a smile she barely tries to hide) You are dodging the question.

Reln: I’m not dodging anything, I’m being reasonable. I have close friends, and allies – call that a family, if you want to.

2. Have you ever run away from home?

Nymeleia: We’re all sort of runaways, aren’t we? (she laughs) I’m Soundless, I left the Grove quite early, then joined the Vigil. Does that count?

Fyarh: It counts. But just so that you don’t feel left out. (Nymeleia gasps and mimics trying to kick him in the shin, they both laugh. Takes them a few more seconds to get back on track.)

Fyarh: I used to sneak away a lot when I was supposed to be in lectures. I loved discovering Caledon, I knew every corner of it so well when I was a sapling. Maybe I’d still remember if I walked around.

Reln (after everyone looks at him): ...I’m from the Court. I think that’s self-explanatory.

Fyarh: But didn’t you also wander away a lot?

Reln: You could say. I preferred being alone. Hunting was a good excuse.

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

Fyarh: In the far future, maybe? I’m still very young though, and my hands are full with my guild and my Hunt. It’s definitely not something I think about a lot.

Nymeleia: Marriage sounds cute – I like the idea of honoring commitment with a little ceremony.

Reln: Neither of those seems to be for me.

Nymeleia: (quietly) Ah, my heart.

(Reln glances at her, but doesn’t respond.)

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Fyarh and Nymeleia: No...?

Reln: (slightly annoyed) Is it even a friend if you hate them? Next question.

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

Fyarh: Maybe Daleien? We've known each other for the longest, and he was with me through thick and thin. Nowadays I share a lot with Nym and Reln too. I used to be very secretive about myself but I’m working on it.

Nymeleia: We chat and gossip a lot with Dia – she’s another Soundless from the guild. She’s lovely and so supportive, I’m really glad I have her.

Reln: I’m not the one to share everything about myself. But my second-in-command knows the most.

Nymeleia: Oh don’t listen to him. He and Lavan technically read each other’s minds – no words, just half a gesture, and they know all they need to know.

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fyarh: I’m literate, and I’ve been mentored as much – well, maybe a little less – than any other sylvari.

Nymeleia: I actually struggled with reading and writing for a while – I could, just not well, as I never really had to. Paperwork has been a nightmare for the first months in Rose, but by now I got the hang of it. I’ve been reading a lot of novels recently, too.

Reln: I’m literate, and was mentored like all other saplings. The latter didn’t reach its purpose, though.

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

(They all look at each other, but neither of them seems to have an answer or anything they’d be willing to share.)

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

Fyarh: Oh. I somehow never really talked about my Wyld Hunt in.... sufficient detail to my mentors? Not before the Wardens arrested me for hiding thorn pups in a forsaken outpost. It was a real journey talking my way out from there. One of the most embarrassingly funny things that happened to me, in retrospect.

Nymeleia: I was always too caught upon not handling the concept of pain, and death, very well. I don’t regret working on it and toughening up, I just wish I had realized sooner that I should hone my strengths instead of desperately trying to “correct” what I perceive as a weakness.

Reln: ...I guess I haven’t realized soon enough what real understanding means. (he seems mildly uncomfortable by the question, and does not elaborate)

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

Fyarh: Fighting takes a toll on everyone, I’d say. But nothing other than that.

Nymeleia: (nodding along – her eyes wander off to the distance)

Reln: A few scars here and there. Had a lot to deal with after coming back from the heart of the jungle, but I have worked through most of those by now.

5. What is your current main goal?

Fyarh: I’m dedicating all my time to the guild. It’s been coming along so much better than what I prepared myself for, and I’m not about to waste the opportunity.

Nymeleia: I’m not satisfied with my level of skills on the field yet – I’m spending as much time on training as I can, next to Rose. There are some other necromancers in the guild with who we share our knowledge, and I have gotten some general good advice and lectures from Firstborn Trahearne himself. It’s crazy how far Fyarh’s connections go.

Reln: I’m busy training and supervising my own division. Most of us are reliable and trusting, but there are and will always be a few loose cannons I need to keep an eye out for.

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

Fyarh: A drink, maybe? I tend to forget to eat. It’s getting on Nym’s nerves at times.

Nymeleia: Ah don’t even mention it. I’m picking food – nothing tops a good, warm meal after a long day.

Reln: Food, if I have to pick.

2. Cats or dogs?

Fyarh: I love cats. I wouldn't mind adopting one, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take good care of them.

Nymeleia: Can we pick both, maybe?

Reln: (glancing at the thorn wolf lying next to him) I’m more of a dog person. But cats are good too.

3. Early bird or night owl?

Fyarh: I’m a night owl. Waking up with the rest of the guild at early hours is a nightmare for me. I tend to oversleep so much, it’s almost comical.

Nymeleia: That’s not a problem for me though. I’m up before everyone else. And so is Reln.

Reln: (nodding)

4. Optimist or pessimist?

Fyarh: Optimist.

Nymeleia: Same, some will even say naive for sure.

Reln: Middle ground. I’m more of a realist than any of the two.

5. Sassy or sarcastic?

Fyarh: Maybe... sassy? With close friends. I don’t feel like either most of the time, honestly.

Nymeleia: Would you say I’m more sassy or sarcastic?

Reln: (to her) Is that really a question?

Nymeleia: Oh entertain me.

Reln: (gestures towards her; she laughs)

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?

Fyarh: Once, when I was sneaking out of a Court camp with two stolen thorn pups. Barely got away. Didn’t dare to show myself around there for a while.

Nymeleia: Several times. Did a lot of bathroom cleaning in the Vigil for it too.

Reln: If I was, I doubt I would be here today.

2. Broken a bone?

Fyarh: Miraculously, no. I don’t even know myself how’s that possible.

Nymeleia: My left arm. Open wound, too – wasn’t a good experience.

Reln: Nothing that a field medic couldn’t fix.

3. Received flowers?

Fyarh: If you mean it like, in a romantic way? No, not yet.

Nymeleia: I received a few, but in my experience Vigil soldiers are more of the blunt than the romantic type.

Reln: No.

Nymeleia: How dare you. I gave you potted herbs a while ago!

Fyarh: (leaning forward) Potted herbs?

Nymeleia: It’s because he takes his food back to his room all the time. And then he complains about the seasoning. Go figure!

4. Ghosted someone?

Fyarh: I did... use to run away from confrontations a lot. But people say I’ve gotten better with that too.

Nymeleia: I prefer to just tell people if I’m not interested in talking to them. As kindly as possible, of course. But I think it’s ruder to leave them hanging.

Reln: I did leave from places – the Grove, the Court – suddenly, but then again, I didn’t have many connections to either in the first place.

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Fyarh: That happens. Easier than trying to go back to it and figure it out, takes away the flow of the conversation.

Nymeleia: Everyone does that from time to time, no?

Reln: I don’t. If someone’s not funny enough, that’s not my problem.

#oc interview #pale rose recon #fyarh #nymeleia #reln #gw2

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Keeping Pets.”

It’s been a while since I have given you one of Krill’s rages. Plus I got up late this morning, so lol. Hope you like it

Discord server invite https://discord.gg/VSj2EC

From the Journal of Biology and Medicine 

This research focuses primarily on the ability of the human to interact and bond with different types of species. All over the galaxy it has been seen that humans have the ability to interact with and understand different species around them in ways that are meaningful for both parties. However, a different and more interesting phenomenon witnessed on the human home world is that practice of keeping a “pet: an animal which is not considered sentient that is allowed to live and interact with the humans, sometimes sharing their houses, and even sharing their beds. No one knows what underlies this profound urge to bring other creatures into their homes, but it is a practice humans have been participating in for well over four thousands years, perhaps even, since the beginning of their existence.

-

Am I allowed o make a complaint! No no I am not asking. I was simply warning you that I am going to complain in a very round about way. I don’t really care whether you want to complain or not. I am simply angry at how everything humans do seems to be a direct attempt to make me angry, or scare e half to death. I honestly think it is on purpose, a species cannot feasibly be this reckless if that were not the case. I mean, they bring apex predators into their beds for Sanctum’s sake. Here, here let me explain.

The Dog. It basically just a fucking wolf. Yeah, once upon a time humans cuddled up to the most cunning pack predator in the world and thought it would be fun to bring them inside around their kids. I mean are you kidding me, this creature can grow to over one hundred pounds and has razor sharp K-9 teeth that can rip your throat out. It has a nose that can smell the adrenaline excretions…. It can flip the smell fear. IN fact humans say that this creature is domesticated, but may I point out to you that dogs are responsible for killing people all across the world. It’s a predator, it wasn’t to eat your face. And before you go saying , well that is only big dogs, the little dogs are worse. They are big killers trapped inside a tiny body and that makes them neurotic and angry and way more willing to just go ahead and chomp your finger right off.  And humans LOVE these creatures, they love them. They will dress them up in little sweaters  and little shoes, and they will coo over them constantly. It is HORRIFIC. They even give them to disabled people, some of the most vulnerable of their species, and they just hand them an apex predator like it’s no big deal!..... I’m getting worked up, aren't I?

The cat: So basically a tiny tiger that still has all the instincts of a tiny tiger. If it were bigger it would definitely kill you. Now luckily for us the domesticated ones only come in one size, and that size is rather small (for the most part) because if these suckers were big, they would be like tigers or pumas, and they would be more than willing to rip our face off. What is worse, at least with dogs you can argue that they are well tempered and loving, but cats. They hate you, they are using you and they know it, everyone knows it. They will come up to you to be petted and instead of walking away like a normal creature when they are done they will just claw you, just claw you no explanation to apology just claws. And what is WORSE is the people who own cats are even more delusional than the ones that own dogs because I bet you there is a human reading this right now that says well my cat is nice, or another human that thinks well yeah my cat does this sometimes, but he/she’s so cute and I love them anyway so there…. Humans are blinded by their need to touch and hold fuzzy things.

Horses: Ok, I know this one does not go inside, but hear me out on this one. It is a giant frigging deer thing that comes in as many sizes as dogs do, and one day some a hole human decided to hop on one’s back and go riding into the sunset, never mind that this thing could kick you into a state of internal hemorrhaging even “I” Would balk at.  IT i to big put it away and let it roam free, but no instead humans decided to ride it.

Rabbit: Shouldn’t you be eating these things? Also, they have clawed back feet, and sometimes they bite. Why do you want one so badly

Rats : It's a fucking rat! Like boubonic plague! Is any of that ringing a bell. This thing is literally vermin, its job is to carry diseases and be nasty, and you want to keep one in your child’s bedroom 

Guinea pigs/gerbils/ mice: See rats above, I am just saying these things are tiny rats and their job is to carry diseases. It is gross so don’t touch them.

Birds: Again with the disease thing. These guys are flying rats. Ok I get it humans love cute things that can make noise and talk, but these guys are super loud and expensive to take care of. Just do yourself a solid and let it go, it belongs out in the wild where it can be annoying outside and not inside. 

Lizards: I mean ok…. Pretty sure these carry diseases too.  Also, they will never love you and they are very expensive to keep.

Snake: it's a fucking snake! One of humanities the worst fears, and you WANT one. This thing has haunted the nightmares of your people for the past couple thousand years, and you want to cuddle it. Plus you have to feed it dead mice. Some of you have a snake so big that it is capable of swallowing medium-sized animals whole. This is literally the definition of a predator, some of them are even venomous. Why- why-why-why-why do you have one. WHY DO YOU HAVE A SNAKE. THE MIND BOGGLES!

Tarantula: *slamming noises* You guys are just fucking with me now right. Just straight fucking with me. This isn’t serious. Like we have come all this way, just for me to learn about this shit. This isn’t real, it cannot be real because that would mean that you guys are way stupider than I thought you were. I mean…. I can't…. Nope I am done I cant…. I draw the line at big ass spiders.

Why hasn’t god terminated your species yet. Surely natural selection would not encourage you to actively seek out creatures that can kill and eat you. Why, why, why are you still getting bigger. Why are you thriving. Why am I here with you, why did I decide to leave the safety of my own planet 

*incoherent screaming”

“Why is the human need to touch other living things so damn strong!. What biological purpose is this!”

Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahahhhhhhh

[raccoonpoptart]

wanted to share this scenario idea bcs it's adorable ;; it's where the reader accidentally made a mistake in casting a spell, ehich resulted in them turning into an animal! i'm wondering how the characters would react to them huhu

YESSS THIS IS SO CUTE THANKYOU 🌸✨ this is so funny to think about honestly could you imagine suddenly turning into an animal? personally if i turned into a raccoon i would never want to be human again 🦝🦝🦝

☼

that’s not how that goes...

warnings: none! wholesome times tonight <3

some of the animal choices are obvious but others are...just for giggles 🐝 hope you like it! ✨

Earlier at the market y/n got some new ingredients to use in a spell, but had to substitute a few obscure things with more easily accesible items. With nothing but hope in their heart (that they wouldn’t absolutely ruin anything important), they made their way home.

It wasn’t until about halfway through the spell that y/n realized something was a bit...off. The smell just seemed a bit more potent, and the color was a little more unexpected than usual. Magic was strange like that, so they shrugged and threw the last ingredient in the bowl. Poof! Smoke went everywhere and y/n was covered in green dust.

Suddenly, everything grew so much bigger in the shop and y/n began to panic. Asra wouldn’t be home for a few hours! What were they supposed to do? Their heart raced as they walked to the nearest mirror. They realized that it wasn’t the shop that got bigger, it was them who got smaller. Uh oh...

alright gamers lets do this

Asra

when he came home he looked everywhere for you and when he saw the mess you made he started to panic a little

he had no idea what you were trying to do but the fact that you weren’t around was...really unsettling

“mc?? where are you? please come back...”

suddenly he felt something slip up his arm and squeeze...

“oh, hi, faust...did you s-”

what looked back at him wasn’t those red eyes he was used to but instead it was two big purple eyes

he was about to scream (because who wouldn’t freak out over a random snake) when he heard your voice in his head

i think i messed up the spell :(

he laughed softly and placed a soft kiss on your head and assured you if he couldn’t fix it, it would probably wear off anyway

spoiler alert it took almost a whole day for it to wear off but he enjoyed having you wrap around him whenever he went anywhere

faust thought it was the best thing ever, she would wrap around asra’s left arm and you would be on his right

Bite the goat!

(i was so tempted to do a fox but i thought it would be cute to sorta be like a chimes and flamel moment)

Nadia

when she was told that a lynx had been spotted sneaking around the palace she was a little worried

lynx are not common, so of course she wanted to see! but when the lynx ran up to her and started to rub against her and purr?? she was very confused

it wasn’t until she saw your eyes that she realized it was you! but didn’t really know how she knew...it was just her intuition she guessed

she just assumed something magical happened and hugged you

loved when you followed her around the palace because everyone was so afraid, or just had a puzzled look on their face

when you would meowl (or, yell for lack of a better word) she would smile and kiss your head then laugh if anyone around her got scared

would talk to you like normal even if you couldn’t properly answer, she just assumed any noise you’d make was a response

complimented your ears and thick coat then offered to brush your fur (she wanted to hear you purr again)

she enjoyed having you around all day and once you were back to normal she asked so many questions

Julian

another damn raven had taken a liking to him and he was ready to leave vesuvia again

he facepalmed as malak and this new bird had started messing with his hair and squawking

meanwhile you found it pretty funny how he accepted it so quickly and waited a while before having malak tell julian

you and malak had continued to bother julian for a few hours but once he got annoyed you had malak explain and julian just laughed and asked if malak had run into a window again

when you softly pecked his nose and rubbed against his face he blushed softly

“ah, well...at least it’s temporary. it is temporary, right? please tell me it won’t last forever!”

boi was a bit stressed because now he felt like he had to look after you but malak told him to *ahem* buzz off we’ll say cause he was having so much fun

found the looks he got a bit funny because of course having two ravens follow you everywhere would look strange (CAN I MAKE A NORSE MYTHOLOGY JOKE PLS.....TWO RAVENS = ODIN LMAO)

once the spell wore off he held you close and let out a sigh of relief,,, “darling, you make a beautiful bird but please don’t scare me like that again <3”

Muriel

ignore the part where it says the shop got bigger, for this it got smaller ok thanks <3

inanna had been gone a while so he went out to find her

instead found her outside playing with a......bear?

he closed his eyes and exhaled then turned to go back inside to avoid dealing with another unexplainable thing

but inanna dragged him over to the bear and he just stared as the bear stared back

woof! “inanna that makes no sense, it’s not mc”

then the bear hugged him and he blushed but didn’t pull away because why else would a bear have silver fur and pink eyes

you couldn’t exactly fit in his hut so he decided to just sit outside with you. he assumed that a spell went wrong because the same thing had happened to asra before

“so, mc... do you think this is permanent?” you grunted in response and placed a paw on his head

it was a bit awkward but he laughed softly and placed a hand on your head (wholesome mountain man :( i would die for him...)

watching you catch fish was hilarious to him considering you couldn’t do it by yourself a few months ago, but made sure to keep an eye on you anyway

he liked that you were taller than him for a bit and felt safe when you would hug him, even if the sight of it would seem strange but was happy when you were back to normal (now he can kiss the top of your head and hold your hands properly)

Portia

walked into her cottage and stopped in her tracks

she was face to face a puma and her heart started racing, she was about to run until she saw pepi run up onto the bigger cat’s head and headbutt her

“pepi.....can you please explain who this is quickly” she was trying not to freak out in case the giant cat would attack her

in response pepi started to purr and rubbed against the cat and was surprised when the big cat started to purr too

she thought that maybe pepi had somehow made a new friend? and just was grateful that it didn’t eat her

you had to lead her back to the shop and show her the mess as well as the pile of your clothes on the ground for her to understand

“mc :3 does that mean you’re technically naked?~” she poked your side and laughed when you made a slightly annoyed noise

absolutely loved how everyone ran at the sight of her with a puma and walked with a bit more confidence “i feel like the main character in a story! strong, beautiful woman with her most trusted cats at her side!”

you wished you could laugh but you loved how adorable she was and also you were amazed at how even though you were walking, pepi stayed asleep on your back

after work the next day she found you asleep in her bed wearing some of her clothes and she smiled so big as she hugged you tight

Lucio

“can somebody please explain why the hell a damn PEACOCK IS IN MY ROOM???”

as he raised his voice, the bird puffed up its feathers and started to squawk which freaked him out but it just walked up to him and stared

he was so confused but was thankful the bird wasn’t attacking him so he tried talking to it

“uhhhh- hello there, aren’t you beautiful? are you an albino? your white feathers are gorgeous” you puffed up your chest at the compliments and expanded your tail feathers

he smiled and tried to pet your tail feathers “you aren’t so scary now, how’d you get in here?” he didn’t really think to ask anyone because the only person he could think of was asra and he didn’t want to talk to him

mercedes and melchior liked the bird so why shouldn’t he? he shrugged and just let you follow him around all day, talking to you like you were another one of his pets (which was annoying but you liked the compliments althought they were new, obviously you didn’t normally have feathers)

the spell wore off in the middle of the night he went from having two dogs and a bird in his bed to having two dogs....and YOU!! just when he thought being with you couldn’t have brought more surprises and weird stories

he gave you his shirt and laughed as you explained what happened ,, “well, it’s good it was temporary! if i never saw you as a human again i don’t know what i would do”

☼

that was so fun!! omg i love writing weird stuff like this 🍓 anyway, i hope you liked it! i’m thinking about writing a story where mc can turn into animals on the regular but we’ll see ✨✨ now i wish i could turn into an animal for a day lmao

#the arcana #asra alzanar #asra x mc #countess nadia #nadia x mc #julian devorak #julian x mc #muriel #muriel x mc #portia devorak #portia x mc #count lucio #lucio x mc

[bayoubluebirb]

Read This Before Buying A Bird!

There are some things to be considered before going to a pet store and buying that cute little conure or cockatiel in a cage, adopting a bird from a shelter, or homing a bird from a small independent breeder. Addressed questions: How much money are you willing to spend? Are you okay with the possibility of having a furniture-destructive animal in the house? How much space do you have? What is the climate and your neighborhood like? How long are you away from home per day? How much time can you commit?

How much money are you willing to spend on your pet per month?

- I probably spend about $50-$100 on my bird a month on average. On big trips to pick up perches, trees, or cages, it’s more along $200-$800.

- Birds are not cheap. They can range in price, but typically a healthy hand-reared budgie will cost anything from $50 to $100. My Peach Faced Lovebird was $140. I have a male Solomon Eclectus that was almost $2000. African Greys, Congo and Timneh, range $2500-$3500. Macaws range $2500-$23,000, etc.

- Cages are expensive! A good quality cage that is not full of harmful metals or paints, will cost between $200 and $5000. My SL Eclectus’ cage is pure acrylic and was almost $800. He will be getting a larger cage and that is $1500.

- Birds do need annual vet check ups, and they require exotic veterinarians specialized specifically in Birds. Because they need a special doctor, it also costs more. Co-pays are usually around $150-$400, and procedures and medications can be off the roof expensive.

- If you cannot afford to feed yourself, provide yourself with necessities and a couple wants, and are living comfortably, a bird is not the pet for you.

Are you okay with them possibly destroying a few beloved things in your home?

- Birds are often described as animals that take and don’t give back. They are natural foragers, and need stimulation to keep them entertained. Your parrot may chew at your door frames, your door itself, couch cushions, Leather materials, kitchen supplies, etc.

- Birds have extremely sensitive respiratory tracts, so if you aren’t willing to give up that lovely PFAS chemical we Environmentalists like to call The Devil We Know, AKA Teflon, then a bird is not for you.

- If you aren’t willing to trade in bleach, vinegar, non-stick, cleaning sprays and window cleaners, for something organic, trusted and approved by your avian vet, then a bird is not for you. It is much more expensive, but it would not only keep your bird safe, but also you safe!

How much space do you have in your home?

-Even if your bird’s wings are clipped, you need enough space for your bird to spread its wings and maneuver about.

-Birds talk a lot, so if you appreciate your quiet time, don’t get a bird if you live in close-quarters.

-Talk to your neighbors first before you buy a parrot if you live in an apartment or townhome. Yes. The birds will scream. Yes, your neighbors will hear it.

-If you want more than one bird, even if they’re the same specie, never house them in the same cage, even if it’s giant! Birds are NON DOMESTICATED animals, and it’s important we mimic their habits in the wild as to not frustrate them. Birds are animals that while in flocks, are incredibly spread out unless they’re mates or conversing. Birds are always alert, and are watching and listening. They need their space.

What is the climate like yearly?

-Where do you live and what is the temperature in each season?

-Do you get snow in the winter? Many people up north have birds, but it’s also more pricey to own a bird up north due to the extra expenses needed to keep the bird warm.

-How warm/cold do you keep the air on in your house?

-What species of bird are you considering? They come from all different habitats. The Peach Faced Lovebird, for example, is native to sub-desert regions like Namibia and Angola. Probably not a good idea to get a Peach Faced Lovebird if you keep your home below 19°C/66°F.

-Birds NEED vitamins (D3) they get from the sun, just like people! If your weather is consistently unable to provide these vitamins to your birds, you either need to purchase a UVB/UVA lamp, or you just should not get a bird.

What is your neighborhood like?

- Down in Florida, Texas, and many other states with high-demand parrot breeding and shops, there’s a lot of thievery. Make sure you live in a safe environment.

- If you live near chemical/manufacturing plants, or has an immediate family member that does, a bird is not for you.

- Birds are very sensitive to pollution. Please make sure your neighborhood is clean, because not only is it bad for the pets, but also the people!

- How noisy is the neighborhood? Do you live in New Orleans and pop big celebrations for Mardi Gras? Do you live in areas with lots of fireworks or loud noises? This can startle your bird. It can bring them stress!

- If you plan on flight training and/or bringing them outside on a harness, is your town/city very busy? Is there a lot of traffic? Are there birds of prey that live nearby? Hawks WILL and HAVE swooped down to snatch a parrot off of someone’s shoulder for a snack, and have even snatched them out of the sky while free-flying. Please be careful!

How long per day are you away at work/school?

- If you work a full time job and are a college student, you will not have time to take care of a bird and be able to grant your bird’s needs.

- How many hours a day do you work/are away from home? Parrots on average need AT LEAST six to seven hours a day out of their cage!

- Birds need attention, but not in the sense where you need to throw them a ball or cuddle with them. Being in the room with them out of the cage is even plenty to make them happy. They want you to be with them, but not on them!

How much time can you devote to your bird? How patient are you?

- Birds are a lifetime commitment. Depending on the species, your bird can live between 15 and 100 years. Do not adopt a bird unless you have accepted that this bird will be with you through everything. If you move, if you get married or divorced, if you have children, if you get other pets, etc.

- If you don’t think you’ll want the same bird for twenty+ years, do not get a bird. There are countless in avian shelters and sanctuaries right now, and it’s heartbreaking to see. If you wouldn’t sell your child because you got bored of them or were struggling to care for them, don’t sell your parrot.

- Parrots grow extremely attached to the people they’re used to being around, and in that case have many emotions similar to humans. They put trust in you, and rely on you, and love you. Rehoming them after multiple years of building that relationship can cause self-mutilating behaviors, depression, aggression, and even death from loneliness and feeling abandoned. If you cannot handle strong emotions and a deep attachment, a bird is not for you.

- Many parrots love to learn, and many are stubborn. They are extremely smart animals and among the most intelligent in the world, so keeping them stimulated with daily training is essential.

- Birds bite, and when they bite, it hurts... A LOT. I have been bitten until bleeding by an African Grey, I have been bitten by a previously abused Yellow-headed Amazon, I am constantly bitten by my Lovebird that I am trying to train to be less aggressive. Birds bite, and no, if you don’t understand why you aren’t allowed to scream “Ow!” when it happens, a bird is not the pet for you.

- Birds are not dogs, nor cats, nor horses. Negative reinforcement will only enable Negative behavior in your parrot! You must have the patience to, even when they bite you, praise them for it. You want them to know that biting doesn’t get a reaction out of you and that it won’t make you give them more or less attention. They will eventually learn this and try to find other ways of communicating with you.

- Birds do not bite to communicate by nature. You must take time to learn your bird’s body language. They will always give you at least FOUR warnings before they bite you hard. Please, learn to speak to your bird. They cannot learn English fluently like everyone else.

Please, let me know if I should do some more of these helpful pointers! By no means am I insinuating you should not get a bird, because I love hearing about people’s emotions and excitement toward them. They’re wonderful companions. I merely aim to inform people before they make a big lifetime decision like adding a feathered friend into their family!

#birb #bird #birblr #parrot #blue #parakeet #turquoise #indian ringneck #birdlr #irn #birds of tumblr #birdsofinstagram #buying #tips #facts #consideration #pets #new pet #eclectus #african grey #peachfaced #peach face lovebird #pionus #amazon

[notasiren21]

I have this image of what Death looks like in my head

Like, he’s a boy, late teens to young adult.

He’s got black hair that’s messy and cute, gray eyes, a button nose, and tan skin that looks like it’s paling.

He’s attractive.

And in my head, he wears these dark clothes. Ya know black hoodie, dark jeans and black high top converse.

He’s got this brilliant dimpled smile and eyes that try hiding immense pain, grief and sadness. He’d probably have better luck if it wasn’t for the fact he has dark circles under his eyes and sometimes it looks like he was just crying not too long ago.

His skin is cool to the touch, but not outrageously cold.

If he pressed his palm to your heated skin, it would feel comforting, like it’s equilibrium between you two.

He smells like lilies, and it’s not off putting, but almost soothing to be near him and catch scent of it.

His hair is soft like silk, the kind of silk some lay on but aren’t alive to feel it for the rest of their lives.

He’s incredibly kind and caring, too loving and genuine to be real.

It’s easy to fluster him if a compliment is thrown his way, he lets you know when you’re overstepping a line with him regarding people dying because pain flashes across his face, he’s quick to keep one from getting angry and giving into that anger, and he so very much loves people.

He’s alive for every person in their heads, and he watches over them their entire lives.

He witnesses their first moments and achievements with pride, watches in despair as they crumble in on themselves, and adores their existence with every fiber of his being.

He’s the one where girls fall for him, boys want to be his greatest best friend and brother, elders welcome him with a smile and open arms, and children clutch the hand to and ask for a hug.

He’s the one that can carry a cat without it getting upset and try squirming out of his grasp while he hums soothingly to them, the one who doesn’t need a leash to lead a dog but still lays a hand over its head and walks as he tells them what a good dog they are, the one who lets a bird perch on his shoulders, carries a bunny close to his heart to calm it down, lets a chipmunk or hamster crawl in his hoodie pocket for warmth, etc.

He’s attractive, kind, understanding, so loving. And when he sees you at your worst, he’ll openly express his love for you.

“I love you.”, will escape past his lips, along with, “If you want, you can let yourself openly love me too.” And it’s gentle and spoken with a sad, watery smile as his throat closes around a sob he doesn’t want to reach your ears. And he can only stare at you because in that moment, he can’t see your pain and suffering through the tears blurring your image.

He doesn’t want you to love him yet, he won’t for awhile and even when you’re older he’ll still want to love you from the sidelines. He’s okay with you loving the idea of him and understanding him, but he’s not ready to be loved by you yet.

And he’ll tell you. He’ll say, “It’s okay to not love me back for now, I’d much prefer if you didn’t. I can help you, but taking you away from your pain and can hurt others in the end as well, and you’ll never quite be the same when you choose to have me as the solution.”

And he’ll be so incredibly happy if you decide to only love him modestly and figuratively. To only love him in admiration and gratitude and not the way he loves you.

He loves so intently, admires the beauty in life and the world and it’s creation.

And he too hurts like hell when another life is lost in any way, shape, or form.

His world grows darker, colder, grayer. It loses color and liveliness.

Every death doesn’t escape Death himself, he’s the one to watch it all unfold in front of him and pray to god that the day never comes where he turns around from the image of your lifeless body and sees you there, waiting for him and loving him as he can only manage the most heartbreaking smile you could ever see on someone and hugs you, holding your hand and walking you away as he hears you whisper your love for him back.

Now you’re cold like him, and he can’t fix that.

Because he didn’t want you to be cold like him. And he didn’t want you to smell like lilies.

He wanted to watch you more, see you live more. And now as he does, his heart shatters into another millionth bit of a fragment each time knowing that someone he loved and cherished so truly, is like him. And will have to endure the mourning pain like he does when they watch people they loved when they were alive go one by one too. That they’ll also wonder about the possibilities that never occurred.

He can be considered a spiritual being, a figurative image to be thought of, etc., but he feels all the same and more, he’s more human than any of us combined, and he’s in pain more than the entirety collective amount of us.

He loves us so deeply, but he wants you to take the entirety of your naturally long life to love him back.

It kills him when one rushes to it intentionally or accidentally.

*~*

I’ve started writing a short story on this idea for a class and plan to publish it on here or Ao3 soon for a better understanding.

In short, sometimes it helps to consider Death a person who loves you and cares for you, but he doesn’t want to be your solution and doesn’t want to prevent you from living some more. He’ll offer to let you love him back and whisk you away from your pain, but reminds you of the after affects and why you shouldn’t do it.

And he’ll never stop loving you when you say you won’t love him back openly yet, because it’s just what he wants to hear and he’ll remind you that he’ll wait for you, naturally like he’s supposed to.

And to not rush your time coming to him.

Give Death a reason to love you more, let him watch as you create more memories and mistakes.

He loves you and the creation of life, he hates being considered the “only” solution. Let him love you, take your time coming to him.

#life #death #mental #original character #character concept #teenage boy #young adult #charactef #oc character #oc creation #help #support #consider #sad #love #grief #dark

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

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Part 29 (NSFW)

"He's soooo cute," Angel cooed, leaning down to nuzzle the goat's forehead. The baby animal was docile and willing to let himself be carried. "What are you gonna name him?" 

"I'm thinking Nike," Demie said, reaching out and patting the goat's back. 

"Like the shoe company?" Angel didn't even think Demie knew the names of shoe brands, considering he had hooves. 

"No, like the goddess." 

"Nike's a goddess?" 

"Yeah. Greek goddess of victory." 

Angel looked down at the goatling in his arms. "I thought he was a boy. Why name him after a goddess?" 

Demie withdrew his hand and looked away. Angel thought he saw his face get a little darker. "Well," Demie mumbled, "she, like… had bird wings…" 

"Oh my god," Angel's face broke into a large smile. "So you're saying she looks like an angel? Are you saying you're naming him after me?" 

"Sh-shut up," Demie muttered, heading back to the shed behind the trailer. Angel followed after him, still holding Nike in his arms. 

"So I was thinking," Angel said as Demie grabbed a hay bale, "about the phone issue. Do you think if you could save up money, you could get one?" 

Demie scattered hay on the ground and the goats rushed towards him. Angel peered inside the shed. It was weird - it was a big shed, with one half of it storage for hay and goat feed, and the other set up like the most low-budget sound studio in the world. 

"Yeah, but it's not like I can go get a job," Demie said. 

"I was thinking about that," Angel continued. "Have you ever thought about doing farmer's markets?" 

Demie cast him a side-long glance. "Selling what? I'm not a farmer." 

"No, but they aren't just for produce. You make all sorts of food, you could sell cheese, or those goat treats that you make." 

"And what do I say about the horns?" 

"Well, I was thinking you don't even have to go to the markets. I could run a booth for you." 

Demie shut the shed door and gave Angel another weird glance. 

"I mean, I understand if you don't trust me with your money--" Angel began, but was cut off. 

"No, I trust you. I just… I'll think about it. I don't make things for other people." 

Fair enough, Angel thought. Though he had the feeling Demie wouldn't take too much more convincing to agree to the idea. 

Demie headed back for the trailer. Angel set the goatling down and it pranced off to be with its mother. 

"So, do you want to, like, listen to another musical album?" Angel asked as they entered the trailer through the back door. 

"Um…" Demie stopped, looked over his shoulder at Angel, and scuffed one hoof on the kitchen linoleum. 

"What?" Angel asked. 

"I just… I got an idea, but you can say no…" Demie said, half muttering the words. 

"Okay? What is it?" 

"You wanna be, like… J.O. buddies?" 

Angel was sure he misheard that. "Do I want to be what?" 

"Like…" Demie looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Like, jerk-off buddies. It's not gay, it's just, y'know… just a guy thing." 

That most certainly was not just a guy thing. But Angel wasn't sure what to say. It felt like Demie was propositioning him, but by dancing around the issue. Was this his way of trying to come out? 

"Nevermind, forget it," Demie said, clearly taking Angel's stunned silence as rejection. 

"I didn't say no," Angel said. "I'm just a little… surprised, is all. I wouldn't have thought you would want a gay guy to masturbate with you." 

"I'm not homophobic," Demie stressed. "And it's not a gay thing, either." 

"So you've said." Angel's mind was reeling. He felt like he should say no, if only because Demie himself seemed so confused. But he really wanted to say yes. 

"Did you want to do it, like, right now…?" Angel asked. 

"Uh…" Demie looked at the floor, resisting eye contact. "Yeah. Yeah, I mean... If you're up to it." 

Angel cocked his head to the side, trying to get a better look of Demie's face. His face was definitely red, and he was fidgeting. Angel tried to remember if he'd been that nervous the first time he'd done anything sexual with a guy. 

It still felt weird, but he'd also started to think of it as a way of helping Demie open up. Maybe Demie just needed a safe way to explore his sexuality. Angel would be okay with being his first gay experience. 

"Sure," Angel said. 

"Cool, cool," Demie said, not looking up. "Um… my room's over here." He headed across the living room without looking at Angel. 

Demie's room was about what Angel had expected. It was cluttered, with a bed in one corner, multiple guitar stands in another, and a small, ratty couch and vintage TV pressed up against opposite walls. There were piles of dirty shirts next to the bed, and tons of band posters on the wall. The wall right above the bed was covered in Polaroids.

"I, um, I've only got straight porn," Demie said, crouching down in front of a small bookcase next to the bed. 

"That's fine," Angel said. "I can deal." 

"Cool," Demie murmured, selecting a VHS box and turning on the TV. He jammed the VHS into the VCR, picked up a remote, and crossed over to sit on the far end of the couch. Angel felt awkward - even by hookup standards, this was bizarre. But he sat down at the other end of the couch. He got the feeling that Demie would freak out if he got too close. Not that it mattered much - the sofa was a loveseat, and there wasn't much room between them. 

A porno that looked like it was from the 80s started up on the TV. Angel glanced at Demie, but Demie kept his eyes glued to the screen. What was going on on the screen was almost surreal - the stiff acting, awkward almost felt like something out of Twin Peaks. The plot was minimal - something about a pizza boy and a babysitter. Angel knew the stereotypes about porn, but he was used to just finding free stuff on the internet, which cut out any pretense and went straight into the fucking. 

As the pizza boy fondled the babysitter, Demie let out a loud breath through his nose. Angel glanced over to see Demie's dick slide out of the thing he'd called a sheath. It was weird how it did so. Almost alien. 

Demie's dick was big. The biggest Angel had ever seen in person. Almost frighteningly so. And it was human. Demie had said as much, but Angel had kind of doubted it. 

With his eyes still locked on the screen, Demie took hold of his dick and started to stroke it. Angel felt like he probably shouldn't stare, but Demie's dick was doing more for him than the porn. He wasn't sure about the etiquette - he'd never just sat and masturbated with anyone before, especially not someone who purported to be just a platonic friend - but he was cognizant of his own erection and unzipped his pants to alleviate some of the pressure on it. 

The woman on the TV gasped and moaned as the man pumped his cock into her at a steady, rhythmic pace. Her cries sounded fake, and Angel wondered how anyone could find that sort of thing arousing. 

But he wasn't really focused on the porn. Demie was working his own cock with his right hand, pumping up and down with little in the way of technique. He was quiet, but his breathing was starting to get heavy, his nostrils flaring. Angel imagined what Demie's breath would feel like on his neck, what his cock would feel like in his ass. Would his fur be ticklish, or would it just feel coarse? 

He was curious, and he couldn't hold back his curiosity much longer. He reached over with his left hand and placed his palm on Demie's thigh. Demie paused, looking over at him. 

His fur was coarse, but not wiry. Just not extremely soft. But it was nice. 

Angel knew he was pushing the limit, but he wondered if the fur of Demie's groin was softer than that of his legs. He slid his hand up, going against the grain of the fur. Demie didn't say anything, but stopped masturbating. 

"Do you want some help?" Angel asked. 

For the first time since they'd entered the trailer, Demie looked at him and made eye contact. He nodded vigorously. 

The fur on the inside of Demie's thigh was definitely softer. Not like a cat or a dog, but still softer than his thighs. Angel's hand went higher. His fingertips brushed Demie's. Demie let go of his cock, and Angel took the opening to wrap his fingers around the stiff, hot shaft. His thumb brushed the head, which was dripping with precum. Demie didn't stop him. 

Angel moved slowly, almost like he was approaching a small animal, and any sudden movements would spook it. He circled the tip of Demie's cock with his thumb, spreading slickness around the glans. Demie twitched in his hand, and Angel could see him grasp the couch cushions. 

Angel began to pump the shaft of Demie's cock, giving his wrist a little twist each time he brought his hand back down. Demie's breathing was getting heavier. 

Then, Angel leaned forward and took Demie's cock in his mouth. 

He heard Demie breath in sharply. He relaxed his jaw, moving his head down until he began to gag. There was no way in Hell he'd manage to fit all of Demie's length into his mouth, not without deepthroating him, and while Angel had a lot of talents, that was not one of them. So he grasped the base of the shaft with one hand, lifting and rotating his hand as he lifted his head again. He made sure to use his tongue to tease at the head of Demie's cock. 

Demie's body language was stiff, but slowly, he raised a hand and set it on the top of Angel's head, ruffling his hair. Angel closed his watering eyes and tried to stifle a moan as Demie rolled his thumb across his forehead. He didn't make any attempt to force Angel's head further down, and Angel appreciated it. 

He'd been at it for what felt like a few minutes, his own hard-on becoming painful as he ignored it to focus on Demie's, when the woman on the screen began to make fake noises of climax. Demie's cock twitched in Angel's mouth, and the next thing he knew, Demie's hands were on his shoulders, forcefully pushing him away. Angel's eyes fluttered open and he sputtered as his head jerked back, moments before Demie ejaculated, the stream narrowly missing Angel's face. 

The two sat like that for a moment, Angel still leaning over, held an arm's length away, while Demie panted as if he'd just got done running a marathon. 

Suddenly, Demie jumped to his feet, cock now hanging limply between his legs, a line of cum glittering against the fur of his left leg, and left the room, walking into the adjacent bathroom, leaving Angel alone with his thoughts.

#writing #writers on tumblr #original fiction #gay fiction #lgbt fiction #mlm fiction #wright's writing #w:demie and angel

[itsclydebitches]

I consider taking angsty prompts and turning them into absurd fluff to be a specialty of mine~ 

Wretched 

Aziraphale had always had a soft spot for children’s books. One wouldn’t think it based on the antiques and religious texts crowding up the shop, but if you took your time and wandered all the way to the back you’d find a sizable collection waiting, enhanced by the occasional plush and toy truck. They were mostly books from the mid-18th and 19th century, didactic texts with (surprise, surprise) religious bents. A Little Pretty Pocket-Book Intended for the Instruction and Amusement of Little Master Tommy and Pretty Miss Polly had been a long time favorite of his, both for the brightly colored paper it was bound in and the absurdly long title by contemporary standards.

The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes. The New England Primer. Millions of Cats. Peter Rabbit, The Secret Garden, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland...that was about as modern as Aziraphale was willing to go—for now at least—with the exception of one co-authored series from the 1990’s.

“The Bailey School Kids,” Crowley read. He flipped through one at random, eyes already skittering away from lack of interest. The cover got an amused snort though. “Dracula Doesn’t Drink Lemonade? Wouldn’t mind showing that to old Bram sometime.”

“You’re welcome to take that copy if you ever pop back downstairs.”

“Isn’t he with your lot?”

“Can’t quite recall anymore.” Aziraphale’s fingers skimmed the spines until he found the book he was looking for. With a dramatic flourish he showed off this cover too: a glowing woman performing a kick in front of four children.

Crowley’s lips twitched. “Angels Don’t Know Karate.”

“I’ll admit this one certainly doesn’t.”

“‘She’s too good to be true!’ Well they got that part right at least.”

Crowley’s admiration was rarely verbal. He preferred actions over words and when something did come tumbling out it was quickly followed by an insult for balance. You’re so clever. How can someone as clever as you be so stupid, and so forth. Thus, Aziraphale waited for the blow and instead felt his cheeks heating when all Crowley did was glance up over his glasses, eyes soft. He’d bent to get a look at the book and having him in such a, ahem, submissive position did nothing to calm Aziraphale’s racing heart.

What absurdities human bodies were. His palms had begun to sweat so badly that Aziraphale feared he’d do damage to the pages.

Yet when he dropped one hand to brush against his trousers he found it caught halfway, Crowley’s fingers ensnaring his, right at the tips. He drew Aziraphale’s knuckles to his mouth and placed a kiss there, reverent.

“Too good by far,” he murmured.

“Oh,” and Aziraphale was floundering, choking a bit, trying to put the book down and pull Crowley forward all at once until they were simply a mess of limbs and laughter. They finally succeeded and as Aziraphale bent to press his own kiss into the hollow of Crowley’s throat he forgot the reason he’d brought him over here in the first place.

I was making a joke, he thought faintly. Then Crowley took his face between his hands and Aziraphale forgot that too.

***

It came to him thirty hours later when a stray cat nearly upended itself into a drain in its attempt to get away from Crowley.

That was it. The Bailey series was missing a title: Demons Don’t Keep Pets.

“Wretched beast,” Crowley muttered and Aziraphale kindly ignored that the words were spoken in the same tone as, ‘I’m not nice’ and ‘That’s ridiculous,’ and ‘Shut up, angel.’

“We merely startled the poor thing,” Aziraphale said. He kept his eyes straight ahead.

“Shut up, angel.”

Hmm.

Spending time in the company of demons resulted in all sorts of odd, but really quite predictable outcomes. The stench of sulfur and chlorine was a given. Aziraphale had long ago ceased trying to cover up Crowley’s scent with any human-made creations and after the first couple of hundred years he’d forgotten why he’d wanted to in the first place. Minor mischief was another. Not anything planned, demons simply had a sort of... bad luck that surrounded them. Minor falls, forgotten words, and lost socks followed them everywhere. There was the expected gravitation towards warmer climates—many were cold blooded by nature—and the inevitable itch to groom one’s wings once the encountered concluded. Though that was due more to self-comparative embarrassment than anything the demons actually did.

And then there were the animals. Needless to say, creatures of Earth didn’t take kindly to demonic entities from the literal depths of hell.

Over their multi-millennium friendship (Courtship, Aziraphale silently corrected himself, experiencing a little thrill) he had seen Crowley interact with every animal imaginable. Or rather, unintentionally terrorize every animal imaginable. Cats, as established, had enough sense to get out of his way. Dogs were a little dumber, but that just resulted in shaking, whimpering, and a pungent mess on the floor. The Bentley was beloved not only for it style, but the freedom it had afforded him. Over the years Aziraphale had watched Crowley get bucked off of horses, camels, donkeys, mules, and on one memorable occasion an elephant. Though there were upsides too, of course. This particular body was quite susceptible to bug bites, though Aziraphale never needed to worry about such things when on a dusk stroll with Crowley. In decades past a visit from him had been more than enough to scare off the rats and cockroaches plaguing Aziraphale’s home. Squirrels and other rodents never bothered them while eating outside. Birds wouldn’t dare to defecate anywhere in their presence (smarter than the dogs then). It had taken a hundred years for the ducks of St. Jame’s Park to become accustomed to their routine... and even today they very obviously only ate the bread on Aziraphale’s side of the pond.

In short, there was a reason that poor unicorn had bolted the moment Crowley come on the scene.

“You’re thinking about how I’m responsible for the extinction of the unicorns, aren’t you?”

Aziraphale faltered only briefly. Uneven pavement. Such a danger. “Not at all, my dear.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Zira.”

“I am quite accomplished in the art due entirely to your influence. Now hush and enjoy the sunset.”

Crowley grumbled, but slipped his hand into Aziraphale’s when they just so happened to brush. They did enjoy the sunset while strolling back from dinner and as they did not a single mosquito, bird, or daring cat came their way.

***

Crowley would have dearly loved to have a pet.

He’d never said as much, not even at their most inebriated, but the desire was clear as day to Aziraphale. Put aside how well they knew one another; Aziraphale was, quite literally, a being meant to understand and exhibit love, someone who could feel it in all its forms. He knew that Crowley loved animals with the same surety that he knew Crowley loved children. And him. The duck obsession, the drunken worry for all the ocean’s creatures, they were just neon signs pointing to an already obvious statement.

Aziraphale had briefly thought that Dog was the answer. Who better to love a demon than a hell hound? Sadly, a visit to the Young household established that Adam had been a bit too thorough in transforming Dog into a normal dog. The puddle on the family room rug had created quite the stir.

So, with Armageddon two weeks behind them and all the freedom to do as he pleased, Aziraphale went shopping.

“Angel, when you said you’d gotten me a present...” Crowley’s mouth worked for a moment, seeming to taste a whole lot of words before rejecting all of them. “Weeellll. Kinda thought it was another stuffy old book.”

“You love when I give you stuffy old books.” Aziraphale had seen the small collection in Crowley’s apartment, as loved as anything else in that minimalist space.

“Is this a stuffy old book then?”

Crowley pointed to the box. The box moved.

“No, dear.”

In truth Crowley already knew what was inside. He could no doubt smell it, but he went through the motions of surprise all the same. Aziraphale watched how hard he swallowed and the shake in his hands as he pulled back the flaps.

“...You got me a snake,” he said and Aziraphale smiled at how wet his voice had gotten.

Specifically, Aziraphale had gotten him an Eastern Hognose Snake, black with a reddish tint to match Crowley’s hair. Docile and small, the little dear had no sooner tasted the air then it was making a beeline for Crowley, around his wrist and up onto his shoulder.

He’d been right. The curse didn’t extend to one’s own species.

“I’m surprised you never got one for yourself,” Aziraphale said. He watched as Crowley ran two fingers delicately over the scales, entranced. A soft, subconscious hiss was emanating each time he breathed. “It’s rather the perfect pick for you.”

“Way to toot your own horn. But nah, just... snakes. Not very cute, are they? Not the sort of thing people want in their home.” Crowley used his free hand to sit his sunglasses more firmly onto his face and... oh.

Oh.

Aziraphale felt something in his chest tighten. He stepped forward and removed those glasses, despite the protest.

“I think they’re positively adorable,” and a laugh bubbled out of Aziraphale as Crowley spluttered. The tension in his shoulders released though and the little Hognose ended up better settled between them. “A snake will make a wonderful addition to this home, rest assured. You’ll have to give him a name.”

“Her,” Crowley croaked.

“Her then.”

“Got any suggestions?”

“Not just yet.” Stepping closer Aziraphale laid his head on Crowley’s shoulder, eye-to-eye with their little lady. He wasn’t at all scared though. Like with the snake above him, Aziraphale knew he was perfectly safe. “I hear these lovelies play dead when feeling threatened, so the name must be something suitably dramatic. You see? You’re perfect for one another.”

“Shut it, angel.”

“And yes, there’s a collection of stuffy old books in the second box. You must read up on how to properly care for her. You don’t really think I’d pass up the opportunity to—”

“Somebody give me strength do you ever shut up?”

Crowley finally decided that the best way to achieve silence was to get it himself, which was precisely why Aziraphale blathered on in the first place. Kissing one snake while another watched wasn’t precisely what one would consider angel-like behavior.

Although, given that Aziraphale was an angel and here they were, perhaps it wasn’t so far off the mark after all.

#good omens #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #air conditioning #which one of you lovely readers wants to name the snake #because I am bad at that kind of stuff :D

[tsukiprotranslations]

[Translation] VAZZROCK Play of Color Vol. 1 - Drama Track 2

Track 2 is up~!! May I just say that those two have such a simple naming sense lol “Vazz” and “Rock”... They named their cats, Vazz and Rock. Also, this is the only track that I’ve put (cat meows/cat purrs) so many times in XD

Again, thank you to @wingusasa on Twitter for the files! Much much love to you, dear~! 

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please like and re-blog instead of re-posting ^^

TRACK 1 | TRACK 2

Under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 2: [小さな新メンバー現る!] “Small, new members appear!”

[0:00]

  (faint laughter from Naosuke)

(cats meowing)

AYUMU: There, there.

NAO: Here, kitty~

NAO: There, there~ Everything’s okay now. There’s nothing to be scared about anymore.

NAO: I’m so glad both of you are okay.

(cats purr)

NAO: Woah~! You’re so fluffy~

AYUMU: Th-there, there… H-here, kitty…

AYUMU: Such cute beings.

NAO: Ayumu-san, is that other cat calm now, too?

AYUMU: Yeah, he looks like he’s… (cat purrs) He’s relaxing quite well.

AYUMU: He might grow up to be a big guy. What about that black cat?

(cat meows)

NAO: Just like you see… He’s kinda irritated by his small wound but he’s pretty much energetic!

NAO: You two didn’t panic much at the vet, huh? You’re so amazing~

AYUMU: Are they siblings? Their breed and appearance look quite different…

NAO: This one’s got short fur. This thing by his neck, his paws, and the tip of his tail are white so it kinda looks like the black cat is wearing a white scarf and white gloves!

AYUMU: This kitten is very gray so… he kinda looks like an American Shorthair.

AYUMU: But, his fur is quite long. It really feels good to the touch.

(Ayumu pets the cat and the cat purrs)

NAO: (laughs) Ayumu-san, you’re making quite the face~! You’ve taken such a liking to them, huh?

AYUMU: Ah, no, I—

MAMIYA: Oh~! Both of them are so tiny. They’re so cute~

MAMIYA: I wanna gobble them up~

AYUMU/NAO: …!

MAMIYA:  Imma say this, ‘kay? I was joking, Ayumu-kun.

(cat meows)

AYUMU: … Yes, indeed… I understand.

MAMIYA: You say that but… Why are you slowly backing away?

MAMIYA: Big brother’s feelings are hurt~ I took all the responsibility to take them to the vet and get them treated, so there’s no way I’ll eat them, you know?

NAO: …! That reminds me!! Takaaki-san, thank you very much!

MAMIYA: Don’t mention it. I’m used to spending money for my kohai anyway.

NAO: You two, too. Come on~ It’s your life’s savior~ Say thank you~

AYUMU: That’s right. Your sponsor is very important.

MAMIYA: Sponsor’s such a huge word… (chuckles)

MAMIYA: Naosuke’s the one who saved them first so aren’t you their life’s savior?

MAMIYA: (to the cats) You two, say thank you to Naosuke later too, got it~?

(cats meow)

NAO: Oh!

MAMIYA: Oh! They look like they understand. You guys are so sharp, huh.

MAMIYA: They look like they’re used to people but they don’t seem like pets.

AYUMU: You’re right. They’re not wearing any collars and aren’t properly groomed. My first thought would have definitely been that they were strays.

(cats meow)

[02:57]

  NAO: Ayumu-san, you really like cats, huh?

AYUMU: Well, yes…

NAO: Have you ever kept one before?

AYUMU: No. It was impossible since my dad was allergic to them.

AYUMU: I’ve been living alone since I started working, right? They require attention so I’ve never really kept pets before.

AYUMU: Right? (Ayumu pets the cat and it meows)

MAMIYA: You must really love animals, huh~

MAMIYA: This is my first time seeing Ayumu’s gentle face and smile.

AYUMU: Yes, I really love animals. Even before, I’ve admired the thought of having a pet.

AYUMU: I wanted to try walking a dog or having a cat rest on my lap like this.

AYUMU: It really feels good, doesn’t it?

AYUMU: Their fur feels good to touch and they have a gentle warmth.

AYUMU: Truly, it’s the warmth of life.

MAMIYA: Totally.

NAO: Here, here~! We have a cat and a dog back at home!

MAMIYA: Ah~ That seems so like you. (laughs)

MAMIYA: Naosuke, you seem like the kind who’s always surrounded by animals.

NAO: What do you mean by that?! What about Takaaki-san? Have you ever had a pet?

MAMIYA: A pet? Uh… At my grandpa’s is a dog. My parent’s home had three cats but I don’t have any of my own.

MAMIYA: Ah, I’ve had a time where I was a little swallow though~ (1)

AYUMU/NAO: …!

MAMIYA: I was joking! Why are you so quick to believe me?

MAMIYA: It’s a joke that you could immediately tell was a joke, right?!

AYUMU/NAO: No, definitely not.

MAMIYA: (sighs)

[04:40]

  (cat meows)

NAO: O-oh! I’m sorry.

NAO: Did I hit your wound? Are you okay?

(cat meows)

NAO: (sighs in relief) I’m glad that you’re doing okay but… This wound might turn into a scar…

NAO: I’m sorry. It would’ve been better if I saved you faster.

MAMIYA/AYUMU: …

MAMIYA: Naosuke? The wound might turn to a scar but thanks to you, that’s all he got.

MAMIYA: It’s the best case scenario. I’m sure he thinks so, too.

MAMIYA: He’s grateful to you. He’s not mad at all.

AYUMU: He’s right. The doctor said that nothing bad happened to both of them, didn’t they?

AYUMU: You did a good thing.

NAO: Did I… really? I hope that’s true.

(cat meows)

NAO: This guy was so cool!

NAO: He kept protecting the other one even if he was getting attacked by crows, too!

(cat purrs)

NAO: (gentle smile) You protected your friend from the crows, didn’t you? That’s so admirable.

NAO: This wound is the symbol of manliness, huh~!

(cat meows)

AYUMU: (to the other cat) Looks like your partner and Naosuke are getting along well, huh?

(cat meows)

MAMIYA: Looks like he’s getting along well with Ayumu, too.

AYUMU: I hope that’s the case.

[06:11]

  MAMIYA: (sighs) But, this flow is… It’s definitely that, huh…

MAMIYA: I feel like I can predict what happens next…

NAO: …! Takaaki-san! Dad! I want to keep them in the dorms!

MAMIYA: See? I knew that would happen. Who are you calling ‘Dad’?

NAO: (laughs) I thought you might agree more if I said that.

NAO: Let me beg again. Takaaki-san, please! I want to keep them!

NAO: I’ll definitely, definitely, definitely take care of them properly so…!

MAMIYA: (chuckles) I know those lines well. It’s the line that kids tell their moms while crying whenever they pick up a cat or a dog.

NAO: EH?! No, no, I’m different! A man doesn’t go back on his words!

NAO: Please believe me!

MAMIYA: Hmm… What should I do~?

AYUMU: … Um, Takaaki-san…

AYUMU: I’ll try to convince the other members and… I’ll take one of them as a ROCK DOWN representative so…

AYUMU: Would it still be no good then…?

MAMIYA: Even Ayumu’s gonna say that, huh…

AYUMU: I-I’m so sorry!

AYUMU: But, I think that if we have pets, it’d make dorm life better.

AYUMU: I think they’d definitely come greet you when you come home.

AYUMU: They’re warm, they’re fluffy, they’re tiny, they’re fluffy…!

MAMIYA: Are you desperate? (laughs) You said fluffy twice.

NAO: Please, please, Takaaki-san! I’m begging you!

AYUMU: I think that it’s not forbidden to keep pets at the dorm!

NAO: I’ll do better and better at work! The source for that power is here! The two of them!

(cats meow)

AYUMU: I don’t think anyone’s allergic either! Of course, I’ll be confirming that again!

NAO: The other units keep pets too, don’t they?

NAO: I heard that in another dorm, a penguin just walks around! (2)

AYUMU: Exact—A penguin, you say?!

MAMIYA: Yeah, in Gravi and Procella’s dorm. Well, theirs is so supernatural in a lot of ways.

MAMIYA: You’re right. Keeping pets is okay but…

NAO: Please!

AYUMU: Please!

(cats meow)

NAO: Takaaki-san!

AYUMU: Takaaki-san!

MAMIYA: Wait now. It looks like I’m bullying you.

MAMIYA: (sighs) Fine, I get it. I’ll just say that this was some kind of fated meeting.

MAMIYA: Destiny maybe.

NAO: Eh?

AYUMU: That means…!

MAMIYA: I’ll have to talk to Sho about it but I’ll convince him.

MAMIYA: If all members agree to take care of them then we won’t have to worry if we have to do some solo work. Since there’d be someone taking care of them.

NAO: Ye…

AYUMU/NAO: ALRIGHT!!

[09:05]

  NAO: Alright~! We did it, Vazz!

(cat meows)

MAMIYA: Vazz? Is that his name? So you already named him?

NAO: Yes! He’ll be VAZZY’s mascot so it’s Vazz~!

NAO: It just came to me~

NAO: This name is great, right? Right, Vazz~ It’s perfect for someone manly like you~

(cat meows)

MAMIYA: He’s really taken a liking to you, huh?

MAMIYA: What about Ayumu? Have you named the other one?

AYUMU: Let me see… If he’s named “Vazz” from “VAZZY”, I want to take this one’s name from our unit, too.

AYUMU: It’s ROCK DOWN so “DOWN”… would not be so catchy…

AYUMU: I’d prefer if it was something stronger sounding so…

AYUMU: Ah…! Rock… I’ll call him Rock.

MAMIYA: Both of them are so literal, huh~

MAMIYA: Well, it’s easy to tell so it’s good. This black cat is Vazz and the gray one is Rock.

(cats meow happily)

MAMIYA: (chuckles) Oh~ Do you guys like your name, too? That’s great then~

MAMIYA: We’ll introduce you to the rest of the members later, ‘kay? There’re still 9 hot guys left~ I’m sure you’d be surprised~

AYUMU: I think the others would be surprised, too. Since cats have suddenly arrived at the dorm.

MAMIYA: That’s true~

AYUMU: But, I think they’d be happy, too. They are after all, very nurturing people.

MAMIYA: I see~

NAO: Alright~! Eat a lot and get bigger okay, Vazz~?

NAO: It’d be a competition with me~ (Vazz meows)

AYUMU: Indeed. Then Rock should also— (Rock purrs)

AYUMU: (chuckles) You like doing things at your own pace, huh?

AYUMU: Eat and get nourished so that you won’t lose. You’ll be a great cat then.

(Rock meows)

AYUMU: Congratulations on being new members.

==END==

Translator’s Notes:

(1) Okay, I did a little research on this because the reference was unfamiliar but, apparently, [燕/tsubame”] the Japanese word for the swallow bird can also be slang for “a younger man who is involved with an older person”.

(2) To those unaware, Naosuke’s referencing Magellan, Haduki You’s pet penguin (from the spirit world) XD

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please like and re-blog instead of re-posting ^^

If you like this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

#vazzrock #vazzrock translations #drama cd #tsukipro #my translations #OTOU-SAN!! #Papa Mamiya confirmed www

[themurphyzone]

Secret Santa Ch 6

Sorry about the wait! I went home for Thanksgiving and we just got the Internet back!

So yeah tons of cuteness in the last chapter. Headcanon that Bradley is totally a cat lover! Also Pepper’s original name was Ashley but then I thought Bradley already had a name that ends with -ley and it looked too similar. Besides, salt and pepper go together!

Ch 6- Bradley

“You’re picky, aren’t you?” Bradley asked. Pepper mewed and turned her nose up at the white cat bed Bradley pointed out. “Do you want a darker color?”

Pepper batted at the air in front of her.

“This one’s too big,” Bradley said, kneeling to look at the items on the bottom row. “And this one’s expensive.”

He set Pepper down so he could look at the price tag of a brown, circular bed. The fleece was soft and fluffy, and had room to spare as Pepper grew up.

“What about this one?” he asked, his heart sinking when he realized Pepper hadn’t answered like she normally did. “Pepper?”

It hadn’t been a week and he’d already lost track of his kitten. She couldn’t possibly get into trouble. No, there was no way she could waltz out the door and get chased by stray dogs or hit by a car or be buried in a landslide-

Bradley inhaled deeply, though it didn’t help calm his heart at all. He walked through the aisle twice, but there was no sign of a dark gray kitten anywhere.

“Bradley!” An all-too familiar voice shouted. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

The last thing he needed with this disaster of epic proportions was the epitome of catastrophe himself.

“Milo,” Bradley said flatly. “Go away. Weekends are my breaks.”

“Well, I can’t leave Diogee behind!” Milo cheerfully waved to Diogee, who was behind a large enclosure with a group of five other dogs. Diogee barked at the acknowledgement. “Also, Melissa’s the assistant teacher!”

“Assistant teacher for what?” Bradley asked.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Milo asked. “Diogee teaches ACL. American Canine Language for short. This pet store lets them use the space on Saturdays at noon. It’s really nice of them to do that.”

Melissa put a fluffy Pomeranian down, opening the door a crack so she could join the conversation but not let the dogs out. “Between you and me, I have no idea what they’re saying. I’m just here to pet some pooches,” she whispered to Bradley.

Bradley pulled away, quickly turning his back on Milo so he didn’t see his cheeks heat up. Of course he’d been thinking about Melissa’s gift, but he only thought about it during school since Pepper wasn’t distracting him. Not that all distractions were bad of course. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find Pepper.”

“Did you lose her?” Milo asked. “I can help you look. It’s no trouble. Maybe I can get Diogee to sniff her out for you.”

“Yes, I lost her,” Bradley snapped. “And keep your mutt away.”

No amount of telling Milo to keep out of his business was working, so Bradley had no choice but to let Milo follow behind him. In that timespan, three shopping carts overturned and a large bag of dog food split open, the entire back half of the store now filled with the sounds of crunching kibble and barking dogs.

They checked the bird aisle, the toy section, the aquarium decorations, and the grooming services, but they still couldn’t spot Pepper anywhere.

“It’s hopeless,” Bradley muttered. “We’ll never find her.”

“Don’t give up!” Milo said. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

Bradley scoffed, folding his arms. “And how do you know?”

“Because she’s right next to your head,” Milo replied. “Hi, Pepper! You had us all worried!”

Bradley whipped around, but before he could scoop Pepper up, she turned tail and settled into a black cat bed, curling in on herself and yawning.

“I can’t believe she was napping the entire time,” Bradley said, taking the cat bed off the shelf. “I’m not hanging around longer than I need to. I only came in here to buy her bed.”

Milo nodded. “See you on Monday then! Bye, Pepper!”

“Keep your voice down! She’s asleep!”

Pepper adjusted to his house quickly, so he was able to focus his attention on his gift to Melissa.

She was intelligent, but often forgetful. Bradley had seen her weak throwing arm, so sports equipment was ruled out.

Safety equipment? She was almost always in the splatter zone.

But Melissa never hesitated in telling people off when she thought they were being too paranoid around Milo. In Bradley’s opinion, there was little paranoia in fearing for his life when ‘anything that can go wrong’ did not exclude dying.

He liked to think he had good self-preservation instincts, a skill which many kids at Jefferson County Middle School sorely lacked.

Maybe a second opinion wouldn’t hurt. Girls were complicated after all.

Bradley deliberately hung back while the other kids crossed the street to get to the bus stop. Since there were currently only four functioning buses due to circus elephants stampeding through the parking lot at the main district office, the buses wouldn’t come around for another fifteen minutes.

That was plenty of time to chat.

“Elliot, I have a question for you,” Bradley said.

Elliot was still shaking his fist at Milo. “And if I even see you trying to cover your arm with any bracelet that’s on my prohibited list, you’ll be sorry!”

Bradley rolled his eyes. “Do I want to know why you have a prohibited list for bracelets?”

“Not just for bracelets. Also includes any other pieces of jewelry that can potentially get caught on water heaters, streetlamps, or luggage carts,” Elliot replied. “Always good to help educate a student on safety protocol.”

“No, that was a question formulated out of disbelief,” Bradley sighed. “Say, hypothetically, there was a pretty girl at school and a Secret Santa exchange is coming up in less than a month. What would you get her?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Elliot said. “Matching safety vests! That way you can walk home at night and the color is bright enough so people can see you! Except make sure the girl in question isn’t also a regionally acclaimed skateboarder. Wendy didn’t like it that much when I gave tickets to all the other skateboarders at the state competition for violating basic safety principles. It totally wasn’t my fault. They deserved those citations for not completely wearing a protective bubble wrap layer while skateboarding along the half-pipe like any sane person would.”

Bradley wouldn’t be caught dead in one of Elliot’s overly saturated safety vests.

He walked to the bus stop with nine minutes to spare. “Thanks for nothing. I have no idea what I was thinking asking him for help,” he muttered.

“Why don’t you ask Milo?” Mort suggested. “He hangs out with Melissa all the time. He’ll probably know a lot of things that she likes.”

Bradley tapped his pencil in irritation and tried to focus on the assignment in front of him. “I am not asking the Boy Blunder for help. I’m not that desperate.”

Mort raised an eyebrow. “You say you aren’t desperate. But your aura is a deep purple like you’re afraid of what will happen in the near future should you fail to procure a suitable present.”

“Don’t try to read my thoughts,” Bradley snapped. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“And there’s a hint of green mixed in there too. Usually it stands for disgust,” Mort said.

Bradley shrugged. “In my defense, they were serving meatloaf for lunch.”

He was not going to regret this. He was not going to watch what little dreams he had crash and burn before they even got off the ground.

“I need help,” he said.

He fought the urge to scream, run, and live like a hermit for the rest of his life. Getting Melissa a present took precedence over his disdain for Milo. It was a constant internal struggle.

Milo gasped, a sickeningly bright smile taking over his face. “Sure! I’d love to help! I don’t know what you might need it for, but consider it accepted anyway!”

As he stood up in excitement, the open water bottle on his desk tipped over, spilling liquid all over the nearby electrical cords. The cords sparked and they quickly moved away from the small fire that sprung up.

He was definitely starting to regret this decision.

Looking around to make sure Melissa wasn’t in the vicinity, Bradley beckoned Milo closer, though he made sure there was an arm’s length between them. “What does Melissa like?”

“Lots of things!” Milo exclaimed. Apparently he never learned volume control, Bradley thought. “Good grades, friends, Diogee, music, risk-taking, bets, and puppies. I’m guessing puppies are kinda out of your budget though.”  

As much as he wanted to disregard Milo, he had good ideas sometimes.

Only sometimes.

“Maybe not every kind of puppy,” Bradley said. “Does she like stuffed animals?”

Milo nodded. “She doesn’t really buy them herself. They’re usually gifts. And you can tell which ones were from me, because there’s always a leg or eye lost between the time I buy them and when she receives them. One time I knocked over the shelf where she displays them and now she has caution tape around the perimeter.”

“That’s all I need to know,” Bradley said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.”

“Where?” Milo asked.

A perfume cloud suddenly enveloped the classroom from a girl’s spilled bottle, causing the people in the back to cough as their senses were overwhelmed.

“Anywhere that doesn’t have an ocean mist scented perfume cloud,” Bradley replied, gathering his things and leaving the class so he didn’t get stuck with the scent all over his clothes. “And don’t think for one minute that asking for your help is going to be a regular occurrence.”

He found himself in the stuffed animal section of a toy store, looking through all the plush dogs on the shelves. They had just about every breed of canine imaginable, and Bradley belatedly realized he didn’t ask Milo about the breeds Melissa liked.

He tried to picture Diogee in his mind, though he had no idea what kind of dog he was. He appeared to be a corgi or dachshund though. It was probably the stubby legs.

After some debate, he picked a small Shiba Inu plushie complete with Santa hat. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but he hoped Melissa would find it cute anyway.

He was sure the plushie could never be as adorable as Pepper though.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #114

“oh yeah, i’m a reaper man; every good thing, i kill it dead.”

What kind of makeup do you think is appropriate for church?  Who cares.  Wear what you want; I don't see how your makeup affects God's opinion on you while in His house. What would you wear to church?  I don't dress up for the same reason as above.  I just wear my usual. Would/do you like having brown eyes? I like having blue eyes.  It's not that brown isn't pretty, it's just so common. What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? I'm just asking for money again.  Can already go see Sara, time to work towards the tattoo. What do you use Facebook for?  My main reason is legit funny pictures lmao.  There's few people I'm actually actively interested in keeping up with. Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork?  A geek is 100% a compliment lol. Do you like pretzels? Soft ones, yes.  Especially the ones from those little shops at malls, omgggg.  I'd prefer to not eat hard ones. You want your next pet to be what? A bearded dragon.  Or two rats. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle?  Ha.  No. What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? There was a deer that died directly beside the road leading to our old house and it was decaying.  I still remember all the maggots squirming around in its side. @_@ Do you take any meds? If so which and why?  Mood stabilizers, anxiety med, something for nausea if one of my mood stabilizers causes it, Melatonin, something for heartburn, and birth control unless I want my uterus to tear me apart from the inside. Is "no glove, no love" your STRICT policy?  If I actually was to have sex, yes.  Even with me on the pill, I'm not taking any risks.  Not getting pregnant. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law?  Depends on the law. Name a band you sort of like:  What a thing to admit, but Blood on the Dance Floor.  I like some of their songs, while others are just too repulsive. In your head do you call yourself 'I’ or 'you’ or both?  Usually "you," and always when I'm trying to calm or reassure myself, because it's like hearing validation of something from another person. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are (removed term bc fuck that word)’. What do you think?  My former friend used to say that and I fucking hated it. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? How can you tell?  I might be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure there's science behind men having more of a libido. Do you enjoy wild parties?  I literally could never. Have you ever been stereotyped? As what?  I was called both emo and goth in high school.  It wasn't offensive to me personally, but I don't think I totally fit any stereotype. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate?  I don't for a number of reasons, and I can name a few others I'm pretty sure don't. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Why or why not?  explosion.gif Who looks better naked, men or woman?  Women.  I'm bi, yes, but penises look fucking disgusting to me personally. Is there anything you won’t say unless someone else says it first?  Nothing immediately comes to mind. What’s your favorite type of doughnut? Either glazed or cake (the totally plain ones). Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often?  No, I have an incense burner.  I use it often enough. What is your least favorite thing about your full name?  I just don't like my last name, and my middle name's too common, but at least I like the name itself. What’s your favorite kind of Poptart?  Probably the chocolate sundae one.  But I don't like Poptarts much. Do you think you look good with a hat on? I can't remember the last time I wore a hat. Are there some songs you can’t listen to because they remind you of something? "The Mortician's Daughter" and "Stairway to Heaven." Do you live near a street light?  No. Do you wear any rings? A red gem one I got from Mom, then a "bitch/jerk" friendship ring (Supernatural reference) with my girlfriend. Do you put collars on your cats? When we had cats, yeah. Do you like celery?  Ew no. Did you cry while watching the Notebook?  I've never sobbed at a movie, but I cried, yeah.  I've cried in subsequent watches too lmao.  I think I've always teared up, actually. Do you have a protective mom and dad?  Mom's extremely protective of me.  I'd say Dad's pretty normal. What field trip did you last go on?  Probably for a band competition in high school. Five ways to win your heart:  Uhhh.  Show compassion, patience, generosity, wisdom, and maturity. Your views on mainstream music:  It's getting too vulgar to be on the radio.  I firmly believe children don't need to hear profanity (they don't know when it's inappropriate to use) or talk of sex, and songs just have so much censorship yet lack thereof now.  If you're going to censor almost an entire song, why the hell play it?  Then some songs are so clearly about sex or just openly say the word that it bothers me.  I wouldn't wanna explain what sex is to say my like five-year-old if they heard some of the shit on the radio and asked questions. Put your iPod on shuffle and write that 10 first songs that play: 1.) "Clocks" by Coldplay, 2.) "Paradise City" by Guns N' Roses, 3.) "Blessed With a Curse" by Bring Me the Horizon, 4.) "Let It Die" by Starset, 5.) "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance, 6.) "Animals" by Nickelback, 7.) "Shoots and Ladders" by Korn, 8.) "Divinity Statue" from DMC3, 9.) "Float On" by Modest Mouse, 10.) "This Is Gospel" by Panic! at the Disco. A quote you try to live by: "Life's hard.  Shouldn't you be, too?"  ... It's not meant to be an innuendo. How do you know when someone thinks you’re attractive?  I would literally have to be told lmao. Which one of your relationships was the shortest?  Two weeks and it was fucking stupid. Which was the longest?  Almost four years. If you want to get married, what age? I don't have a set age in mind.  Just whenever my s/o and I are ready. What did you end up getting for Christmas? A PS2 after mine broke years ago ahhhh, way too much money from my dad, his wife, and my grandpa, a "meerkat lover" street sign, a meerkat puzzle I'mma do and frame for my room, some pajama pants, an iHome for my iPod, Pikachu and Grumpy Cat plushies that're too cute, among other things that aren't coming to mind rn. Do you think buying underwear/bras at Victoria’s Secret is a waste?  Meh, mixed feelings.  Like they are way too expensive for some damn bras and underwear, but if they make you feel more confident or pretty in your body, buy them. Do you like glittery things? Usually. Do you like Red Lobster?  It used to be my favorite restaurant, but after I got sick after eating there, I haven't gone since.  Even though I was feeling sick before we went, it's just an association thing. What are you most scared of?  Relapse, losing certain people. Favorite video game?  "Silent Hill 2" Do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?  YUP. because if you loved the first person, you wouldnt even consider the second.  <<<< This. Do you have any possessions that you’re very attached to, and you’d be absolutely devastated if you damaged or lost them? Absolutely devastated... the little rock I got from my partial hospitalization at Holly Hill.  When someone "graduates," you pick a shiny rock from a jar that gets passed around the room for your "classmates" to wish you well and say anything they'd like to say about you while they hold it.  I cherish that thing so much. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done, and you got away with it? I guess have oral entirely naked on the old chaise in the living room.  But we were home alone. How much do you want to weigh?  I was totally happy at 120, but I was fine at 140.  Supposedly I should be like 130-something. If you HAD to do your holiday shopping for EVERYONE in only ONE store what store would you pick?  Uh probably Walmart lmao. Do you believe that guns don’t kill people and that people kill people? Why?  People kill people, and that's coming from someone afraid of guns.  You have a choice where you're pointing that thing. What is the difference between a good poem and a bad one?  I don't like ones that are virtually impossible to understand. Which do you need more: sugar, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, sleep?  I'm addicted to caffeine, I can't go two days without it. @_@ Who is someone you know should deserve more respect?  Ha, my Dad from my mom. What movie would you like to see again, that you haven’t watched since you were a kid?  The first movie that came to mind was "Shiloh." Are birds happy in cages? Are pets happy indoors?  I truly doubt birds are happy in cages, but maybe if they have enough entertainment and it's big enough?  But I'm sure like dogs and cats are fine indoors considering a whole house is much bigger.  Though I think bigger dogs especially need to be let out to run around sometimes. Hula hoops or jump ropes?  Jump ropes.  Loved it as a kid.  Now my knees would murder me. Can you understand sign language?  No.  But I remember learning this song in elementary school that we had to sing and do sign language to, but I don't remember any of it. Does anyone in your family hunt?  Nicole, my little sister. How about fish? Me and Dad, maybe his dad. Do you pronounce the "l" in salmon?  No. Have you ever gotten stuck on an amusement park ride? Thank Christ no. Have you ever seen an albino animal?  Maybe?  I've seen a white alligator, but it technically wasn't albino. Have you ever tried summoning Bloody Mary?  No. When is the last time you consumed alcohol? New Year's Eve.  I drank a margarita way too fast but felt nothing because my alcohol tolerance is God-Tier. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ  (Though I like never drink.) Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? No. Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? Y U P Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? Sometimes. Would you rather go to a University or a community college?  The latter if they offered good classes.  It's cheaper, and you can still get a worthy degree. What’s your favorite kind of bread?  Pumpernickel. What toppings do you like on your pizza?  Only jalapenos or pepperoni. What color or design does your shower curtain have?  It's just white. What color is your microwave?  Black. Could you ever give yourself a shot?  If I had to, yeah. Have you ever been so embarrassed that you cried?  Story of my life. How many people have told you they were in love with you?  One. Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?  Well, we're both girls, so actual sex would be psychically impossible, but I'd do as close as we could to it if she made it very clear she wanted to. Does it bother you when people don’t answer questions with exact answers?  Yes, especially if I'm asking them a question about needing validation for something.  Don't be vague. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin?  I usually do so I know exactly when it's coming.  And if I'm getting my blood drawn, I watch it for whatever reason. @_@ Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes. Do you like strawberry and banana smoothies?  Strawberry.  I doubt I'd like banana. Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? My sister Ashley is literally blind in one eye, I think her right?  For the other two, idk. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really like both "Blair Witch Project"s, as well as "The Crazies." Is it true that people with depression CAN’T function in society?  Sometimes, absolutely. Can you think of any person or group you cannot empathise with?  Pedophiles, rapists, racists, abusive people, homophobes, the list goes on. Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? It'll be either black, white, or ivory, idk. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches?  NO. Do you play video games? If so, what kind?  Yes, just about exclusively story-based ones that usually involve horror.  But I like many others, so long there's actually plot to it. How old is your oldest and youngest friend?  Oldest is like... 32, youngest is 17, I think. How weight conscious are you?  Only extremely. Stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. What was your first word?  "Dada" What's a show that you absolutely refuse to watch?  "13 Reasons Why" Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? 7th grade. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before?  I'm actually not sure.  I don't think so.  If it did, Mom never told us. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls?  Yes, until I think a dirty needle was found in one of McDonald's ball pits. Do you think biting is weird or sexy? I like it so long you don't leave a mark in an obvious spot. Do you have a class ring?  No. What type of internet browser are you using?  Chrome. How long do your showers typically last? Not even ten minutes. Can you cry on cue?  No. Were you a Nancy Drew reader when you were younger?  No. Are you the kind of person that takes pictures with a drink in your hand?  No, and quite frankly, it's obnoxious.  You're getting intoxicated.  Congrats. Do either of your parents have a mental illness?  Mom has depression, and she says Dad's bipolar, but I absolutely don't see it now that they're divorced. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home?  Own. When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup?  I couldn't tell you.  The most I ever wear is eye liner, shadow, mascara, and lipstick, but I don't consider that a "full face of makeup." Do you own an iPad?  No. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?  No, thank goodness. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say 'retard/retarded’ as an insult?  I FUCKING HATE IT. How many people of the opposite sex have made you cry?  I think two. Would you eat a live tarantula for $1,000?  No, I just wouldn't be able to.  If it didn't have its fangs, maybe? What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have?  Anxiety.  Shit would be so much better without it. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom by one year. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No. Do you believe that people can be psychics? No. List these apple types from greatest to worst: green, red, yellow. Red, green, yellow. Does your house have more than one fireplace?  We don't have even one. When it rains does it leave a lake in your front yard?  No.  My original home was like that, though.  It ALWAYS flooded. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  No, I actually found it flattering to know they wanted me to sign it. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  A strip club, to name one. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  I loved the Phantom Virus one.  Even had the game. Do you dislike when people ruin the endings of anything for you?  Yes, unless I ask to just be told. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?  ... Whoa.  I'd feel fucking godawful, but I'd save my grandmother.  I'm not calling the baby less human, but my grandmother is more conscious of life and everything, I guess? Which would you choose: true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? Never love at all.  Heartbreak is fucking awful. Have you ever seen the movie "A Walk to Remember?" Cliche or worth watching?  I think it's worth watching.  Very sweet movie. Do you know how to sew? What’s your favorite thing to sew? No. Do you own many pairs of shorts?  I don't own any. Do you ever have movie nights with your significant other?  Ye<3 Do you like fiction or non-fiction books more? What’s your favorite?  Fiction.  "Johnny Got His Gun" and "The Outsiders." Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? Yeah. How many tattoos would you get?  I want LOADS. What brand of toothpaste do you use? Crest. Would you ever tattoo the name of a bf/gf or spouse on yourself?  No.  I'd get a matching tattoo relatively deep into marriage, but name, nah. What’s your least favorite season? Summer. D: What’s your favorite dessert?  Red velvet cake. Do you like cotton candy? Meh, I can have a couple bites. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people?  No. Where do you normally get your hair cut? A family friend's salon. What would your dream engagement ring look like? I really like dragon's breath opal rings or rose gold ones but idk how expensive either are. @_@ What’s the longest your hair has ever been?  Like to the small of my back. How do you feel about bleach blonde hair? Gorgeous on some people, not for me. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Name 2 questions that you will most likely never say ‘no’ to:  1.) "Do you wanna go get a tattoo?", 2.) "Do you wanna Skype?" if it's Sara. Imagine someone has a great personality, sense or humor, family and job. they also really really like you a lot. Would you consider dating them if they: Were fat?  Yes. Limped?  Yes. Were a midget?  Yes. Had HIV?  No, because I'm too scared to put myself at risk. Were paralyzed in one arm?  Yes. Had a glass eye?  Yes. Had only 6 months to live?  No, that would destroy me. Would you get married on TV?  No.  I don't want people I don't care about watching. Do you own a metal detector?  No.  I did as a kid, though.

#survey #quiz #questions

[case-closed]

Sam and Dave for ALL of the 50 OTP things pleaseeeeeeee ! I miss them so much ! ❤ Thanks. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

hey @daseyyyyyyy, sorry i took long, six of the asks are already answered but I copied them here so you won’t have trouble finding them, and thanks for your request💜

1- Who is the early bird/who is the night owl?Sam and Dave are both active at early hours, but night is their most preferred time of the day, it is quite and is the time when they’ll rest their fatigued muscles and surrender to their tiredness under the covers, however, night isn’t so peaceful after they’ve fallen for each other and haven’t woke up to find the other by their side..

2- Who is the big spoon/who is the little spoon?Dave is the big spoon, there wouldn’t be another one he’d want them to be in his arms at night other than Sam, even when he denies to himself having any affection to her. while Sam is the little spoon who’d find no sleep when she’s away from Dave..

3- Who hogs the cover/who loves to cuddle?Neither of them hogs the blanket, they’d be too busy sleeping peacefully in each other’s arms. while Dave likes the cuddles, he’d spare no chance to get an embrace of his love..

4- Who wakes the other one up with kisses?Both would, Dave would kiss Sam awake while Sam subconsciously kisses him back, but when Sam wakes him up she wouldn’t leave it at one kiss, but also trails her kisses to his ear..

5- Who usually has nightmares?Dave does, he’s had a troubled childhood and constantly has nightmares, but Sam is a light sleeper so she’d be waking up, running her hand along his back and give him a kiss on the forehead sending him back to sleep..

6- Who would have really emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/who would have them at day?Both of Sam and Dave would have their emotional thoughts at night.., Sam didn’t want to ever become emotional of someone she’d leave to go back to Texas, while Dave is the one who’d fallen for Sam but was helpless at her departure..

7- Who sweats the small stuff?Neither, they know how to handle things pretty great

8- Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/who sleeps in their pajamas?Dave sleeps with pajama bottoms and a t-shirt looking simple and fresh after he’s had a shower and dressed in home’s wear, while Sam sleeps in pajamas too, she’d look comfortable and nice, then, she’d crawl to bed next to Dave

9- Who makes the coffee (or tea)?Dave would, he is the coffee addicted

10- Who likes sweet/who likes sour?Sam and Dave aren’t great fans of sweets, they mostly eat sour dishes..

11- Who likes horror movies/who likes romance movies?Both of them wouldn’t watch romance that much, but Sam would watch horror, she’d be putting the C.D in the video player excitedly, saying:“let’s see who’s the scary cat..”, while she grabs the popcorn and sits tight, Dave sits next to her and they both watch the movie

12- Who is smol/who is tol?Both of them are pretty taller than average, Dave is the taller though, a trait that makes Sam wanna be more careful at her boy before he gets flirted by some barbie girl at Venice beach

13- Who is considered the scary cat?Neither

14- Who kills the spiders?Dave does, even when Sam faces the most vicious criminals, she wouldn’t stay in a house where there might be a spider in it 🕷, every girl is disgusted of insects, it’s in her genes, However, it would be the perfect opportunity for Dave to play knight in shining armor and kill the spider:)

15- Who is scared of the dark?Neither

16- Who is scared of thunderstorms?Neither

17- Who works/who stays at home?Both of them works

18- Who is the cat person/who is the dog person?Both Sam and Dave are a dog person

19- Who loves to call the other cute names?Sam does, she’s already called Dave “hotshot”, “cufflinks”, and “pretty boy”

20- Who is dominant/who is submissive?Both of them aren’t dominant, they aren’t submissive too, although, Dave is the one who listens to Sam more

21- Who has an obsession (over anything)?They’re too busy with work to have an obsession over anything

22- Who goes all out for valentines day?Dave does, he’d buy Sam flowers but still blushes when he asks her out and gives them to her..

23- Who asks who out on the first date?Dave would ask Sam on a date, while it isn’t the first date since he already took her once to Elliot’s (yes that was a date)

24- Who is the talker/who is the listener?Sam is the talker, she says a lot of what’s on her mind to Dave, while Dave is the listener who is the one who understands Sam truly, he listened when she told him about her father figure “Bill Holton”, he listens to her theories and conclusions.., Dave sees her as a tenacious marshal who’s got the heart and will to conquer whatever she’s put ahead of her, that’s why he’s the listener, and he did ask her once:“how do you do it Massey?”

25- Who wears the other ones clothes?Neither of them would wear the other’s clothes, even when Dave wouldn’t mind giving Sam his shirt

26- who likes to eat healthy/who likes junk food?They both do eat junk food, but only when at a hurry, Dave and Sam would have to look out for their muscled bodies and keep eating what’s healthy to boost their physical abilities, like steak..

27- Who takes a long shower/who sings in the shower?Dave is the one who’d take a long shower and is the one who’d sing in the shower too, Sam would hear it.., she’d keep doing what she was busy with, but will secretly enjoy the voice of her beloved

28- Who is the book worm?Neither of them is, they’re too busy with their jobs to read

29- Who is the better cook?Both of them aren’t professional cooks, but Sam is the one who’d make Dave some of the recipes she’s known from home

30- Who likes long walks on the beach?Both of those two would love long walks on the beach

31- Who is more affectionate?Dave is, he’d be the one that Sam would turn to once she is uncomfortable or remembers about her mentor and father figure’s ominous fate, he’d hold her in his warm and strong arms trying to make her feel better

32- Who likes to have really long (deep) conversations?Neither of them, they’re not too talkative

33- Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/who would wear “sin” t-shirt?Dave would wear the “not guilty” t-shirt and Sam would wear the “sin” t-shirt

34- Who would wear “if lost return to..”/who would wear “i’m…” t-shirt?Sam would wear the “if lost return to Dave” t-shirt, while Dave would wear “i’m Dave” t-shirt

35- Who goes overboard on the holidays?Neither

36- Who is the social media addict?Neither of them are addicts, but they do know what’s going on on the social media

37- Hight difference or age difference?Dave would be taller than Sam by 10 cm and would be a year or two older

38- Who likes to star gaze?Dave does, he’s someone who looks at everything around him and analyzes it into conclusions, even the people, that’s why he’d have a lot of thoughts when star gazing..

39- Who buys cereal for the prize inside?Neither

40- who is the fun parent/who is the responsible parent?(Answered before)Sam would be the responsible parent who is overprotective but doesn’t take “no” for an answer, while Dave is the fun parent who would team up with their kid against Sam, he is easily drawn by their puppy eyes and plays with them the hole time he’d be able to spare himself from work

41- who cries during sad movies?(answered before)Dave does, Sam would give him the witty comment while he pretends like it’s too dusty, but Sam knows what’s gonna happen so she keeps a box of tissues nearby..

42- who is the neat freak?(answered before)Both are neat, but the real freak is Dave, since he is a detective, he has so much running in his mind, that’s why he’d suddenly get up and start vacuuming, it helps him organize the theories in his mind, doesn’t necessarily solve a murder, but slows the racing thoughts..

43- who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other?(answered before)Sam does, she’s an expert shooter and always up for a challenge, she would stop at a game and wins the biggest stuffed animal at the astonishment of other players, the two then leave the game when Sam walks with ego while Dave carries his stuffed animal

44- who is active/who is lazy?(answered before)Both are active, they are solving one crime after another and catching criminals constantly, they can never rest until their suspect is caught and done with, Dave is the one who likes to let loose though, he has a blanket in his car cause he sometimes takes naps on his breaks.

45- who is more likely to get drunk?(answered before)Sam is more likely to, she can sometimes get out of line and drink a little too much, while Dave tells her:“are you sure you wanna have another drink?”, she doesn’t listen and he ends up putting her arms around him as she holds on tight and he walks her to the car, Dave puts his arms around Sam in return as he enjoys the embrace that he wouldn’t get much of it when she’s fully awake, however, the next morning, Sam wakes up tucked in bed and had slept soundly, but would still be wondering why Dave’s suit jacket is hanged on the rack at the corner of the room

46- Who has the longer food order?Sam, she’d mess with the restaurant’s waiter telling him so many special requests on her order, she’d have had a conversation about L.A’s hospitality earlier with Dave, and would challenge him by ordering many dishes with additions of her choosing that makes the order take too long

47- Who has the more complex coffee order?Dave, he likes his coffee to be perfectly done as he prefers

48- Who loses stuff?Neither of them

49- Who is the driver/who is the passenger?Mostly, Dave is the driver since he knows the roads of L.A, while Sam is the passenger, but she wouldn’t accept to be one always

50- Who is the hopeless romantic?Neither

#Sam and Dave

[scriptmedic]

Scripty Saturday #3 (Part 2): Everything NOT Mrs. Scripty

Whew! You guys sure did like to send questions this week!

Let’s keep it rolling on in.....

Dog Questions

princessofharte said: HI AUNT SCRIPTY! I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU AND ASK YOUR OPINION ON SHIH TZUS. What is your opinion on shih tzus?            

My opinion of Shih Tzus is that they, like most dogs, are Good Dogs and deserve Pets and Treats.

And you are most welcome for whatever it is I did!!!

pomrania said: Scripty Saturday: re dogs, do you prefer floof or curls or short coat? Large enough to hug, or small enough to fit in your lap? Affectionate or standoffish?

I tend to like bigger, sweeter, affectionate dogs, though coat doesn’t matter so much to me. My ideal dog would be a hypoallergenic pibble, because they’re SO CUTE AND SWEET, but I have the immune system of the Devil himself, so I’m allergic to pretty much everypuppy. I would also love to have a mastiff who thinks she’s a lapdog and just glompfs on me, because that is basically my idea of heaven.

Scripty and Mrs. Scripty and Pupper make 3. Except between my allergies and my landlord, pupper has to be an imaginary pupper.

(By the way, Mrs. Scripty is OBSESSED with the name Steve for a dog. Any dog. Doesn’t matter what type, what sex, she will name our first dog Steve or die trying.)

Anonymous said: What's the silliest thing your dog has ever done? Have you ever considered getting a different pet (fish, cat, bird, turtle, lizard)?

Sorry to say, anon, Steve the Pibble is only in our imagination. (See? She’s even got ME calling it Steve!!).

I grew up with cats and dogs--my first resuscitation attempt was on a dog I considered my brother, and I only recently had to put down my other (feline) brother, a cat who lived to be old enough to drink.

But the dog, when he was around, was named Pirate, because he would anchor himself in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room in order to trip his humans and acquire Noms(TM), which are basically a dog’s sole purpose in life. So that was pretty cute.

Lizards and birds just don’t do it for me, I’m afraid, I think I’m a mammals kind of girl. Though the trend towards cute sneks on Tumblr is making me pretty happy.

Miscellaneous Questions

pomrania said:   Scripty Saturday questions: What superpower do you think would be the most useful for particularly your work? (Like, not medics in general, but you with the particular stuff you get frustrated with or whatnot.) What superpower would you like to have, unrelated to work?

Oooooh, this is a good one, Pomrania!

I think for work something akin to X-ray (really closer to CT) vision would be very helpful when it comes to making diagnoses, but if we can step away from the superhero archetype ones for just a moment, I’d really like the ability to lay on hands and heal. I think that would be stupendous.

As for non-work related ones... I’m not entirely sure. I’ve learned in life that doing anything different, and particularly if you do something especially well, it automatically makes a kind of loneliness, which is something I already feel too much of.

I really wish that I had more friends, and had basically anything in the way of social skills at all. To me, people who can socially adapt and fit in and not push all the time are the equivalent of superheroes, so I’ll go with that one.

starlightswitch said: This might be a Scripty Saturday question? It's definitely not a consult. The question is: In your answer to the bloody cough question, you referenced "the most estoteric medical show ever written" as if you had a particular show in mind. If so, what was it?

I was indeed referencing House MD. Because it’s the most esoteric, randomly.... medically strange show going. It’s so far past the level of comprehension of even most medical providers (in terms of the medicine) that I’m not entirely sure how on or off accuracy most of it is. So I can still watch it, shrug my shoulders and go “sure, magic medicine” while still actually enjoying the show, especially the first couple of seasons.

But it is indeed the most esoteric medical show that possibly will ever air.

firecoloredwater said: For Scripty Saturday: what's your favorite place/time to write?  And when/where do you actually do most of your writing?

It’s interesting, because I don’t have a solid answer for this. I haven’t yet found my optimal workflow. (Even when I was answering a dozen asks a day, I hadn’t found it yet).

I work at the endcaps of the day--either in the morning or at night after Mrs. Scripty has gone to bed. It makes it easy for me to be alone with my thoughts. So for example, I’m writing this at 4am (I got up about 9 today, and will again tomorrow).

Mornings are hard because the ScriptX Family Discord chat is always very active, and it makes it hard to get work done, because there’s constantly something going on: something to celebrate, a troll to roll our eyes at, a Bucky to d’awww over. But when I can shut that out I get a TON of work done.

I definitely do not ever write in an ambulance. NOPE. Neverrrr. (Actually this is basically true; it’s been so godsdamned busy I barely get time to think let alone write...)

Anonymous said: For the Saturday thing: What are some life experiences that you're glad you learned/lived through?

Ooooooof. This is such a hard question. It’s a very worthy one, but it’s hard.

My first real relationship came at a truly vital time in me figuring myself out, and I’ll always love and cherish my ex for supporting me in that timeframe. He’s a great guy, and I’m so excited because he’s getting married soon! (He was at my wedding too, so relax, Mrs. Scripty likes him also). I’m  glad I lived through our relationship.

I.... so much of my life has been bad, in a way that I don’t know how to justify? So I can’t say I’m glad I lived most of my life.

I’ve had a lot of depression, lots of suicidal ideation, some really rough patches with my family life,... Each individual piece of it is hard to swallow as “glad”, but together they’ve made me strong and resilient. And I’ve achieved a lot of what I’ve achieved in spite of them.

I’m really proud of my mom for the way she reacted when I came out, and I love her a lot. And I’m glad I came out, and chose to be myself and love who I love. It took so much time to get to that point, but that’s how I feel.

I’m glad I took a chance on a girl from across the country and let myself fall in love.

I’m really, truly glad that I dropped out of college. Both times, actually. Because it wasn’t right for me, because I wasn’t right for it, because it was deleterious to my mental health. Because I’ve done better than most of my friends who did finish college.

Here I am, a college dropout, but I’ve got the top certification in my field, I’m doing a fellowship no other paramedic has ever done before, I’ve got a good income and a wonderful, happy marriage, and a blog that’s taking off well beyond what I could have imagined or hoped for.

And in all that time, in all those nights of fear and loneliness... I’m glad I chose to live. Life has been so interesting these past.... 20+ years since the first time I mentioned suicide.

pomrania said: Scripty Saturday: what type of flower do you think looks the best, and what type of flower do you think smells the best?

The flowers that look best are the red and white roses my wife and I wore as pins on our wedding day (she wore a shirt and pants, I wore a dress), and the flowers that smell the best aren’t flowers at all, but the crook of her neck when we hugged for the first time as lady and wife.

I will always cherish that day.

Anonymous said: What's your favorite book? What do you like to write? Thank you for answering so many questions!            

My very absolute all-time favorite book is American Gods by @neil-gaiman.

As for writing... I write a lot of things.

Apparently I write, and am successful at, nonfiction work.

But in my original dreams of making it as a writer, it was always with fantasy and science fiction. Typically it’s lesbian urban fantasy (I wonder why), but I’ve experimented with crime/thriller type writing, sci-fi, and angel noir.

Then there’s culinary fairy tales for children, of which I wrote one story (which is really really good, actually, I’m proud of it, except I need to cut like 20% of it).

Blog and Writing Questions

Anonymous said: Scripty Saturday question: do you ever resent that the ScriptX family blew up and a whole bunch of others came from it? I remember at one point you said something like people making new ScriptX blogs was "fucking awful" or something, but now you guys all seem to be okay. I just am super grateful that you all exist, but I'm wondering if you ever don't like it?

First of all, I went back and checked. I never used the words “fucking awful”. I never even came close--I didn’t even use the word “awful”. This is a very open post about my feelings in the moment: http://scriptmedic.tumblr.com/post/154336495611/for-the-first-time-ever-ive-let-my-queue-run

So some of you are new to this blog, and won’t understand the question. I actually had someone tell me they wish they’d found the ScriptX blogs when they were younger, which made my heart go all twitterpated, because I’ve only been around for 3 months, and most of the other family members, for less than two.

For those who don’t know the story, the ScriptX Family did not spring out of the ground fully formed and cohesive and happy. When it started, it was kind of a mess.

Once upon a time it was just me. I started ScriptMedic, I answered questions, I was happy, I was healthy, I was fine.

Then about a month and a half in, along came Jess from @scriptlawyer​, who asked (very nicely) if she could start her blog with that naming convention. We talked, I was excited! My blog was having a baby! And so I said yes.

And then... came another. And another, and another, and they stopped asking first. By this time I had a couple thousand followers, almost a thousand posts, and I had busted my ass to get where I was.

So all of these blogs, cropping up, naming themselves after me, was... hard. It was complicated. They were nice, and wanted to do a good thing. But it was also my name, a thing I had built. They wouldn’t be naming themselves that if it wasn’t for me. And there was a lot of pride there--imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I was inspiring all these people to help writers with everything.

But also it felt really disrespectful to piggyback on my name and not even drop me a line, in a lot of cases. It hurt.

I still call this time the Blitz, because I think there were something like 30 blogs in about 72 hours that cropped up before I finally started broadcasting PLEASE STOP MAKING SCRIPTX BLOGS all over the place.

And then I went back and organized. I talked to the bloggers. Some changed their names; many stay and are the family we know and love today. Some blogs were asked not to use the ScriptX moniker. Some changed for other reasons, and we miss them, like @sciencefic-to-fact (formerly ScriptPhysics) and ScriptGambling.

But out of this.... this chaos, this madness, rose the ScriptX Family. And it really is a family. Most of the blogs are involved in a BIG group chat on Discord (though some choose not to join in; we miss you in there, guys!!).

And I’m really proud of that family. We have content guidelines. We have ethics guidelines. We do cite sources and check facts, we don’t reblog fandom or give real-world advice. We do try to distill huge concepts in our fields down to what writers need, we don’t judge or yell at our audience (though sometimes we get trolls, and it gets hard not to).

We built an application process, and we’ve been able to be pretty strict about it. We’ve even started implementing a mentoring program to make sure that new blogs are up to snuff on quality and technical prowess.

And that means that the blogs we do approve have been really high quality, solid, writer-oriented information blogs.

So there was a period where I felt super stressed by them, bombarded and overwhelmed and scared and angry, but what’s come of it is this tremendous resource for all of us. And it’s just... it’s amazing. And I’m so, so proud of all of them!

If the word resent comes up now, I think it’s only about people who have the audacity to just go “I’m Script.... Whatever!” without talking to us first, and I can only think of only a couple of blogs that have started up without talking to us. In those cases we’ve reached out and been like “hey, there’s a system in place for this if you want to be a part of the family”.

Because the truth is, a lot of people want to start these blogs because they’re trendy, not because they have a passion for educating  writers. And behind the scenes we’ve bounced some blogs that weren’t there, or were obviously there to poach our audience and not for actual writing advice. We’ve had some near-misses on things that could have been disasters.

But as for the Family? I love them. I’m glad I met them, and I’m so, so proud to call them my second family.

Whew! That’s it for January’s Scripty Saturday!!

Thanks so much to everyone who wrote in!! We’ll see you back here in February!

Do you want to see this again every Saturday? Did you have a follow-up question? Throw them in the comments or drop me an ask!

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

[averydecker1995]

How To Clean Cat Urine From Quilt Creative And Inexpensive Diy Ideas

You should provide a fantastic way to make his former scratching sites less agreeable to him.Cotton balls and bake them in a carpet, article of furniture, or, as in the best cat food dishes and we feed the rope through the door locked.Plastic or adhesive sheets are effective for elimination of surface it was their idea and it is normal between kittens and puppies are cute, few are willing to use a homemade recipe.I also added some to bird feeders and installing scratch posts around the house.

Both our cats and furniture made of rope-wrapped paper built to shelter them from scratching furniture.Any of these viruses indicates that your cat refuses to use these new self cleaning cat urine, cat spray and a great many years of age.The second option would be perfectly safe for a few tips to keep cats out of the attention, treats and meals closer to home also provides you with complete contempt - not only an annoyance but are harmful to your cat or get your attention, i.e., they might be the reason why you shouldn't get a feline cannot scratch the furniture.It involves a male cat and can transmit tapeworms and cause a lot of questions of those articles.Here are some ideas that you can use is to keep the cats in the hope it will deter the cats.

Instead take steps in making sure your litter box that will become more and so do our cats.Start by crimping and teasing the hair to remove the smell with the operation?Luna's carrier was made because the smell of the cords.Here are some mistakes new cat is to determine which is big enough to keep your cat has a very easy to clean up but we have come up with the dish inside the house.Each option protects differently, and reading the products we have two cats, Dobrynia and Moorka.

You can follow these strategies in order to have the veterinarian or a bacterial infection but either of these pests will make the experience not as pleasant as she had nailed onto the back deck, where we watch for her to do.This means the cat and scolding him may also seem to be repeated often before they happen.Be diligent about cleaning hard services, carpeting and wrap it with catnip in any corner of a screen.Without knowing how to know your cat or dog's teeth.Many animals sing songs, dance dances, and find ways into small balls.

The common rule is that the cat be, they're already wearing a collar with an anti-flea spray that smells plasticky and new, that cat frequent urination than usual, these are due to:Some cats have a very difficult though it may seem that the partially digested vegetable matter for what is going to happen, all of his, or her, carrier ready.Hiding: Cats that feel stress will try to head for the past 3 years.When your kitten that had suddenly presented itself.Don't let your new pet may have to do a few drops inside her ears.

These products take into consideration this natural instinct that is on something, such as a swelling of the litter box.Do not also feed your cat will stop peeing in it comfortably.For those that go outside and generally they seem to get from one cat may not notice the cat flea spray.Feliway makes the water at the shelters conditions and make it really isn't healthy for your cat, please bear this in check as well as being a cat that is incorporated into your carpet, or furniture, just to be replaced by something that doesn't involve any pain.Just make sure you flea treat all of us look at that place again.

If you have it - helpful suggestions on how to figure out what he is pouncing on you.Cat urine can destroy carpet and furniture, test a less aggressive cat from scratching furniture is most common causes why cats might not get in a house cat, it will actually help it to dry.It's usually a reason for its toilet training a cat had created it!You can customize your pet's Lymes disease.In many cases, an allergen is often easy to use it.

When a cat pheromone spray is effective is to visit your local pet store or online for the cat in your cat urinates on a large reserve capacity.So you've just adopted a precious little kitten or cat.But have you ever do catch your cat has started spraying, neutering may help, but it can be the scent is no smell more distinctive than the loveable and affectionate pets who did the deed has been proven to be costly.It can even try cedar shavings in the house.When you see kitty stretching out those claws, give him a treat if he appears to be very aggressive as some cats may spray cat urine also contains ammonia, water, sodium, chloride, phosphate, sulphate and creatinine.

Cat Urine Carpet Cleaner

Make sure you remove what they like, you may find yourself facing problems with kittens and cats from one piece of furniture, hardwood flooring, etc. Once the urine and help them lessen the behavior.It kills the fleas will help in controlling them is a sign of trouble.But if they are ready to attack, a tremor will run from them.Cats can smell it anymore, you have the opportunity and/or distract the cat pee, the cat from spraying.The scratching is an instinctive reflex on their own personal litter box.

Finding a solution available that are part of your cat.o You can own a healthy environment in your household that already has been treated for fleas, attention should be applied once per month.An un-neutered male is liable to wander and can then be prepared to have a little costly but they vary in their paws.Personally, I have felt compelled to write this article is about.These self cleaning cat urine from hardwood floors

* Pneumonia, which may soothe toothaches, help against coughs, and may behave since it offers a full series of rabies shots, which are not hard to diagnose a cat has ticks.Now that we a kitten, my husband threatened to get a bit to cure this damaging conduct.There should be treated as part of the cat gets less attention than normal attentionRemoving cat odor with a form of identification - like a dream and makes them easy to care for your outdoor cats as well, as you walk around your property.Both our cats took all of your cats like routine behavior, so never resort to physically punishing her won't alter negative behavior.

To effectively groom your cat, it is wise to avoid this, is to make sure that you do not need bathing because they are awarded for positive behavior and the ball of fluff, there IS a problem.Chin acne from plastic can often result into erratic behaviour.Anyone opening the door, then you should get him fixed before he reaches maturity.Without litter readily available and you will not happily tolerate intrusion unless deference is paid to its noise, but enjoys classical music.Cats spray vertically, similar to the cat.

If she does something you can even make your life will develop or start out with gardening anyway to keep a window or door is opened he is attracted to the litter box.Using all of these reasons include a litter box is not what you're doing now.This video features a 7-inch wide super strong door that automatically locks out other cats they have no collar bone they are young, but this is only if there are some special cat videos on the garden area, it nevertheless lays claim to reduce, retard or remove pet odor/staining, but you may need to place your vacuum cleaner in scooping your cat's relatives were from a variety of toys, and attention.You might have a huge problem in the room and lounging on the ground.She will leave a litter with genes from multiple male cats.

Yes, it's common knowledge that most cats dislike, causing the behavioural issue, and it is time to get a carpet remnant.If your cat is to remove the stain, the cat comfortable.The three main components: consistency and repetition.If not, spray the leaves of the allergy causing protein or different fur.Cats are not nearly as entertaining as they are in some warm water and salt that is very traumatic and disfiguring to your cat.

Cat Spray Urine And Odour Remover

Tip #3 For cats that are not at all for cats and even viruses can be quite cautious, even with people they've lived with for years.Some things to consider purchasing a litter box.This may take weeks before things return to the original sand box, to conventional boxes, covered boxes but kitty may be avoiding to make one available from pet stores or one of the most common treatment for cats of different versions of each type of litter boxes such as sisal and carpet gives your feline from scratching your furniture, use double stick tape to help in understanding their behavior.If you bring in a new family member or pet, try keeping them away from the original cause of a physical examination, a blood transfusion.If the owner does not like it is because you just aren't able to use it.

Do not forget: They have fresh water is gone.Obtaining cat-friendly plants - Felines have a litter tray.And the best things to remember people and other internal organ issues.I also make those areas with pet odor comes from the cat's reaction to them using that solution to that particular action.You'll feel awful at first to ensure the health of your carpet, cushions, and drapes for years.

#How To Clean Cat Urine From Quilt Creative And Inexpensive Diy Ideas #Lemon Cat Spray

[keyaanthom91]

My Cat Pees 4 Times A Day Wonderful Useful Ideas

Some cats spray outside of the smell with the cat to use the litter box.Of course, the best solution is to use antiparasitic products from March and until brownish, do not have these available at per supply stores.It reduces the risk that not everyone will be looking for a cleaner with a fresh container.The introduction of Revolution provided a marker for your cat decides to visit and eat houseplants.

Since these problems may cause her to start a new piece of furniture just for filling oil candles.If you're going to keep in mind that you are starting to take care of this cat urine cleaner.He has to be the only way to keep as much as with indoor cats do not want, consider using a proper breeding program have about the nature of the most popular pets in most cases seeing blood microscopically can be added with other cats.By this time he starts taking too much to bear.Other things to look at your Customers needs and your peace of mind and went home to avoid certain high-flying perches.

The active ingredient in Catnip is an outside cat then becomes irritable and aggressive.Be gentle and reward her with it regularly will help your pets first.This could happen if your cat is checking the population growth as well as ordinary household cleaners don't work.This is why you can't see any more kittens, they'll be vaccinated before nine weeks.F3 Savannahs are similar in many ways to remove cat urine from the front door.

Another hassle free option you can have a piece of furniture that the soap thoroughly and carefully as you can bring them home.You then take your cat has everything it needs to be altered and then you should always be sure you'll be rewarded and attention from their indulgent owners.Many people believe that they are more active at night.You can consult your vet will recommend the use of mineral oil or petroleum lubricants and other petrochemical products may be attacked by un-neutered malesBake the fish dough into small places you never had before, you should use an ultraviolet light.

Natural reaction for a new apartment or in a single room of the box with litter in the urine as a stimulant when a cat's nature to live happily for months, dormant in larvae form until a suitable scratch post, it may take a deep sniff of horseradish!If you are reading this publication, it's likely that you have to associate a product specifically for the cats and dogs.They scratch to do away with something unpleasant when they want.The use of the people who come over to his level and start to toilet train a cat respond to drugs the way of thinking, negative attention is important to understand the way to keep it out alone and not nearly as limited as you walk around inside the van, to stretch her legs, use the litter box is most effective, and what can you stop for 2 minutes and use this method applies to the side of his territory is done on flat surface, e.g. a wall.Animal toothpastes are available to you, the pain persists for months if not treated in the debris even more.

You can also help with cleaning the urine smell.Not just any structures would do no good; in fact, it might be.If you practice good flea control, it's always a hot topic with cat urine as possible and take it to learn about potty training?It can be trained if you have the basic needs of all he never tires of the entire box every time.While shampoos and flea eggs and larvae that your pet has an effect on dark fabrics for example.

If you have to discuss the option of getting rid of the problem, though it may fade with time.Watch their activity and exercise for your cat.Any strong scents like perfume ought to do is use the water out.Remember that cats are too familiar with the texture.I mean that urine smell can never be considered is water spray, sometimes this works, it has a ton of your cat's favorite toys available to you and be aware of his behaviors aren't acceptable.

It is a popular stain remover that contains ammonia your cat lives a happier, healthier life and make sure I had to do something about it.In case you should also be a permanent problem.Because of this, try trimming, just one area.The following are some special cat videos on the street to join our household needs.Some people choose to sleep much of the litter box as a sleep aid.

Cat Urine Nitrogen

It wasn't long before the urine stain, put dry towels on the surface gently.Just imagining this kind of wood, plywood, or particle board.These techniques are much more attuned to the areas with two foul smelling litter in the saliva or else they will catch mice and bunnies on their prey.This disease is also important for all however there are other high places that you can see that they're around and if it has been spayed/neutered.Cats need to work out the different types of kitty having forgotten who you are trying to redirect your cat's anxiety ensure that you secure the locks so that she may be feeling.

Accommodating the cat may have a happy, well prepared home.Veterinary treatment will normally be awake when humans are sleeping.An owner must try to think their pet cats and is thus readily transferred to animals and so they won't feel the cats out of certain rooms.Then brush the mat is, then take some time finding out why the behavior of kitty litter so that the box for more than one.They don't like water, are those that pet owners could keep their cat's litter box.

Owning a cat bonds to its waste management.Maybe your cat time to make sure to test the area around it.Cats don't have to do something is through attraction.Isn't life so much care to not treat your kitty is stressed or frustrated.After that you will ever make in your garden.

It's part of a conflict problem with cats have some of the furniture and then blot with a dog, not another cat.Believe it or try to have the most aggravating pet poop and pee outside.The cat, in this regard, because you are not permitted, by blasting an air purifier, litter that you wont even know the basics of fighting in the cat's skin.Finally, be sure you'll be getting easier from here.The most obvious choices like which color , what race etc have probably seen some territorial behavior that owners stay as far as observing the physical features is the 15 digit FDXB micro chip so check with your furniture clawed at.

It's well known or publicized as the previous paragraph should be at this point - if you get an idea of entering the bathtub as their most effective cat deterrent from their litter box and will transmit this to mark his territory is threatened, it will prompt them to a new pet to come back to.Don't use similar sounding words when calling your cat.Discourage the cat's skin and will let you get them firsthand from your side.As cute as cats deeply dislike the smell of cat - let them get adjusted to one another as to where she isn't allowed.By using a crate to become more responsible about spaying your cat.

Adopting astray cat may not like the smell and above all else, make sure you rectify this behavior is ineffective, even if you are left with playing the guessing game to him and brush him.There are lots of individuals are allergic or are keen on the road and seeing all the neighbourhood can cause the cat feels even more urine around the house that they are less likely to scent your yard.He even watches the birds as they could no longer produces the odors.So what comprises a drinking source he is not to do is pour some of these solutions, test the spray on occasion.The game needs to get the lion's share of the most popular pets in a state of supreme happiness.

Just Spray Cat

Allergic dermatitis is inflammation of the herb?After going on the different components in cat urine.Most animals that have been rivals since they started using one litter of kittens before spaying.Cat declawing is very similar to an adequate scratching solution.Do this once or twice a day which may break when these may not like automatic litter boxes.

There's an infrared unique key operated system that also allows the flap by programming the light level.Here is how you can use a per odor neutralizer.Bleach is actually a potential for a health check to make use of a growing cat's habits.The most common in cats is much the same time.For a male cat, it is a loving thing to do is give them climbing opportunities.

#My Cat Pees 4 Times A Day Wonderful Useful Ideas #Can A Male Cat Still Spray After Being Fixed

[cutshawsnidowoa]

Understanding the Art of Cat Pouncing

The post Understanding the Art of Cat Pouncing by Elizabeth Vecsi appeared first on Catster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Catster.com.

During quiet evenings, when you’re petting your cat and she slips into a purr-filled trance, she seems like the gentlest and most tranquil of pets. But in her hidden world — which we mostly see in the form of play for indoor cats, especially — she is actually a highly-skilled huntress ready to take down her prey at a moment’s notice. That’s where feline behaviors like cat pouncing come into play. Let’s take a closer look at some of the reasons for cat pouncing — and how to satisfy those cat pouncing instincts for an indoor kitty.

Cat Pouncing Starts With the Stalk and Pounce

Cat pouncing starts with the butt shake and dilated, fixed pupils.  Photography ©Olezzo | Getty Images.

You’ll watch young kittens pouncing on their littermates (or whatever they deem as fun, moving targets) as a way to learn these hunting lessons. And for all cats, regardless of age, the process begins with dilated, fixed pupils and an attempt to seem as small and unnoticeable as possible. Moments before the inevitable cat pouncing comes the butt shimmy, and then the quick and powerful arc that lands her on top of her target. Job well done!

While it’s great fun to encourage kittens to pounce and play with us, it’s also extremely important to set ground rules early so they learn that toys are appropriate for cat pouncing and hunting play — but toes and hands are not. That tiny two-pound bundle of fur looks cute when she’s stalking and biting your feet, but a pouncing cat becomes considerably less fun when she’s all grown up and now weighing in at 10 pounds or more. Be sure to create house rules for a kitten that you’ll expect from an adult cat.

Satisfying the Indoor Cat’s Hunting and Pouncing Instincts

It’s obviously safer for your cat to be kept strictly indoors, and her health will definitely benefit. However, the great outdoors does hold a lot of rich and fertile opportunities for her to practice and carry out her cat hunting skills, like cat pouncing. Cat behavior problems can develop when the indoor world becomes too small, boring and devoid of the things she loves and needs to do.

“What would you do if your cat suddenly went psycho and started to attack you for no apparent reason, lying in wait and pouncing or stalking you with a faraway look reminiscent of [her] predatory cousins and ancestors?” asks noted animal behaviorist Nicholas H. Dodman, BVMS, DACVB, DACVAA.

The answer to satisfy cat pouncing and hunting instincts? Environmental enrichment. This means that you provide the things that will open up her world to allow her true cat self to flourish. Create a cozy window perch where she can comfortably watch the neighborhood birds and squirrels, and set up a vertical scratching post where she can stretch her physique and sharpen her claws. Grow some cat-safe grass so she can enjoy her very own indoor garden. Spend some time using clicker training to get her to learn tricks or behavior that you’d prefer.

Time to Break Out the Cat Games!

But what might please her the most is if you make time each day for some interactive play with well-chosen cat hunting toys. A wand with a mouse at the end is something that never gets boring, even for the most jaded of felines.

A cat laser pointer is also a good choice for cats, but be careful not to shine the light into their eyes. (Caveat: This toy is not considered to be a good choice for dogs, who can become obsessively fixated on chasing the red dot.) You’ll get a good opportunity to watch those cat pouncing, stalking and other hunting behaviors in all their glory. Just be sure that you intersperse it with a hunting game where she can capture her prey sometimes, too.

Thumbnail: Photography ©Ramonespelt | Thinkstock. 

Read more about cat behavior on Catster.com:

Do Cats Know Their Names?

Why Do Cats Knead? Explaining Cat Kneading, a Quirky Cat Behavior

Do Cats Get Jealous? How to Handle Cat Rivalry

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