#why is that not in stores

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[starlit-mansion]

there's something so poetic about coyote vs acme being the thing that causes wb's 'the producers' ass scheme of shitcanning movies for tax breaks to blow up in their face and cause them to turn to the camera, blink twice, and dissolve into a little pile of ash that their eyes fall down into with a little bounce

#to be honest. my partner keeps saying that movies that were canned for tax breaks should be public domain and i agree #we literally paid for them? they're ours now???? #anyway i really hope it makes it out into theatres/streaming and i'm glad that the backlash worked #but also like. why shitcan a nearly finished movie that made it to test screenings when the industry's been at a standstill for a year? #where's you buy your intelligence? at the stupid store?

[sancticide]

see writing is funny because sometimes you have to google things like “can the human body survive with every rib broken” and other times you have to google things like “is there an ikea in manhattan???”

#writing #daredevil #matt murdock #writers block is killing me #writblr #please end my misery this chapter of gay people in ikea is not chaptering the way it should #WHY IS WRITING GAYS IN IKEA SO GODDAMN DIFFICULT #WHY CANT I JUST HAVE MY MATTFOGGY IN A FURNITURE STORE MOMENT

[remy]

Lord I see what you have done for others. Get me out of this state !

Me and my boyfriend (butch) are finally leaving Texas for Washington in June, we have everything planned out but we desperately need funding to secure housing once we get up there, and money for the 3000 mile drive from here to there

Please reblog and share!

#chats #im so ready to be free. someone spraypainted kill all gay people on the side of the liquor store down the street on Saturday #we got verbally harassed outside of a bucees #but when we were in Seattle we talked to strangers about the move and they like. understood immediately why we were leaving TX

[gund-arminc]

#she's at soup #g witch #the witch from mercury #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #sulemio #'why are you buying clothes at the soup store?!' '...fuck you miorine-san'

[hyunpic]

HYUNJIN ✮ SKZ’S MAGIC SCHOOL FEAST

#hyunjin #skz #stray kids #bystay #gifs #staydaily #we are in the magic school and he casted a spell on me cause why am i levitating rn HES SO CUTIEEEEE #ong i need to shove him in my cheek like a hamster storing food for later.

[azulhood]

Danny and Jazz were almost at the end of their rope.

They've checked almost everyone they knew who would take them in.

Sam's family? Didn't want them living under the same roof as their daughter.

Mr Lancer? He did actually want to take them in but his one bedroom apartment was not a suitable place for kids to live and his teachers salary couldn't afford to support three people.

Tucker's family? Got shut down by Vlad.

Which was the end of the list of who could get custody, well living at least.

There was no way either of them were living with Vlad, and with that in mind, they decided to get creative.

--------------------

When Edward woke up, sitting at an old interrogation table in what seemed to be an abandoned warehouse (don't ask him which one, gothem had too many) and splitting pain in his head from most likely getting knocked out, his first thought was I knew it.

Gotham rogues had been disappearing only to reappear the next day with no memory and often in bad shape, like black mask and Bane.

Some of the rogues, such as penguin and Ivy, believed that they would be safe from the next attack.

Edward was slightly more pessimistic.

And it turned out he was right.

"ahem." Noise brought his attention to the warehouses other occupants.

Two teenagers.

It was strange to think that these two put Bane into a coma, but Edward had spent most of his nights getting the stuffing beaten out of him by a child wearing the colours of a traffic light so he was suitably wary.

"How can I help you?" Being polite was always a good idea when kidnapped by possible meta children (because no normal person could walk away from a fight with Bane, the bats don't qualify as normal.)

"Hi, I'm Jazz and this is Danny." The red head introduced herself and the blue eyed boy next to her. "Nice to meet you Mr Nygma."

"Nice to meet you as well." His mouth responded on autopilot as he panicked over being addressed by name, no one who kidnapped him did that ( which was mostly the bats taking him back to Arkham after another foiled plan) unless they were Amanda Waller.

"Right, now that we all know each other, let's get started." Danny said pulling out a sheet of paper and star themed pen from somewhere.

"Get started on what?" Torture? Edward would really like to know if that was the case.

"The interview." Jazz explained " You just have to answer a few questions then you get to go, after we wipe your memory of course, we have someone who we don't want knowing we're in Gotham."

"Oh, of course." Edward replied faintly as he processed the information given to him.

"And if you get job we'll contact you in a week." Danny added as he twirled his pen. "Got it?"

"Yes." Edward had never been more confused in his life.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #if you can't get your own responsible adult then store bought is fine #everyone in Gotham is confused #the bats have no idea whose kidnapping villains and why #Jazz and Danny just want someone they can trust as their guardian #do they care if that someone is a villain? no #anyone is better then Vlad #does Red Hood count as a rougue? #if so he gets an interview too

[ryllen]

i have no other reason of drawing this, other than i just want to

#twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst grim #twst mc #fanart #who's happy with promo recycling tokens? me! me! me! #i'm so happy i can study potion for text books while also receiving honey from the boxes #i keep running back and forth to sam's mysterious store #i'm so close i'm so cloose i manage to reduce the earth titan's hp to 8000+ i'm so closeeee #why can't the promo recycling tokens be forever #one time i was on piggybackride i remember gravity kept pulling my as s down i never feel more like a burden #i wish at that kind of situation i am feather light like a/nime girl #I JUST HAD THE EARTH TITAN AT 4000+ AUGEGHHSHSHSH

[scintillyyy]

the real reason that tim can't age over 18 is because if he did, dick would have an existential crisis about how old *he* is. wdym tim, who was 13 when dick met him, is 21 now. if tim has been doing this for 8 years, how long has dick been doing this for? wdym tim is legally old enough to drink now? if *that's* true then dick's no longer 25. when did dick suddenly get so close to 30. that's not a thing that's real. *his* annoying little brother isn't that old because dick's not that old. he hasn't really been working here for going on 20 years, right? can't be, because he just started here two days ago.

so yea, tim's not older than 17. who are you trying to kid here? dick's not gullible. he won't fall for your lies.

what utter nonsense are you going to try to tell him next? that damian's in high school or something? he's onto you.

#the tragedy of having much younger siblings is them getting older #(this is joke post but also i know them not wanting bruce and dick to get too old is why we're in this mess lol) #in my heart tim is 21 and dick has to go cry in the car after they go for a grocery run and tim picks up a 6 pack #and takes out his license to show the grocery store clerk. dick was already halfway towards taking out his own for the purchase. #dick grayson #tim drake #dick and tim

[carlyraejepsans]

i know you could explain it all with rule of funny or ''they did it on purpose as a gag'' but

sans has the uncanny ability to read your face like a book and know exactly what you're thinking with a glance. he also constantly misses papyrus' jokes and treats them like genuine questions.

papyrus talks to you over the phone and somehow manages to conceptualize where you are and what you're doing from your tone alone. if, however, you gave him a picture of asgore and toriel, the only way he could tell them apart would be by their clothes.

tone-deaf sans/face blind papyrus. they're both autistic in perfectly mirrored ways so when they talk they keep missing each other by a hairbreadth

#papyrus jokingly: why should i buy ice cream when we've got ice cream everywhere on the ground! #sans (thinks he's being genuine): oh that's uh. snow #papyrus (thinks he's ruining his joke on purpose): UGH. WHATEVER. #autism is stored in the skeletons #undertale #sans #papyrus #they can read everyone like a book. except one another. comedy fields cancelling each other

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

oh right, technically i sell t-shirts

i forgot about that

#holidays are coming up and it would make a terrible gift #that's the main selling point #anyways these exist and can be exchanged for legal tender #the cost is the listed price + the emotional expense of knowing that i am judging u #bc i am. i am judging u #why would u want this. why would u exchange currency for this #there are so many other things you could exchnage currency for instead #a grocery store shrimp platter for instance #with the nauseatingly red cocktail sauce that is SO much better than a t shirt any time #hmm chicken picatta at a local Italian Eatery perchance? i am. a big fan of anything picatta #oh oh i know! 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH OKRA #FOR THE COST OF THIS FRIVOLOUS T SHIRT U COULD INSTEAD PURCHASE 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH DELICIOUS OKRA #and then --hold on i have a recipe--and then what u do is #so it is basically sacrilege to suggest this but what u do is u skip the cornmeal entirely #my southern ancestors are shaking a wooden spoon at me right now but LISTEN. u skip. the gotdang. cornmeal #instead: wash chop and soak (for 10 min) the okra in a mixture of 1 egg to tblsp water #then coat in flour #THATS IT JUST FLOUR #No cornmeal. i am betraying my heritage rn but I'm RIGHT #coat in flour sprinkle liberally in S&P and FRY that suck in veg oil high heat #until crispy & brown & u hear your arteries clenching in apprehension #so. so yeah #that's what u should do instead of buying this shirt go fry the shit out of some okra #(but buy local and young & tender if u can bc the grocery store is full of old-and-therefore-super-stiff specimens #pro tip (aka grandma tip): if u can't chop okra smoothly with your normal cutting knife then it's too old and tough. #...i mean u probably CAN still fry the shit out of it I've certainly done that before it's just much less delicious #ANYWAY. anyway ANYWAY. shirt. okra. farmers market. that reminds me of a post i made back when we first started selling these dang shorts #shirts. shorts shorts. oh shit i should make a crop top option. #i. i don't Know How to make a crop top option #HUH . . . i need to lie down now and contemplate the constant and irreconcilable limitations of the human experience good night

[avi-on-jumblr]

today i learned that there is MATZAH THAT ISN'T KOSHER FOR PASSOVER??? WHY. WHY. IT HAD ONE JOB. I AM LOSING MY MIND. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA.

#and this is a store that didn't have any matzah the rest of the year but now we're near pesach they get non-kosher matzah???? why?????? #jumblr #avi posts #i'm not even fully kosher exactly bc i'm vegan so i never have to think about it but i wanted to try being more specific about it for pesac

[dare-to-dm]

#music #Weird Al #I must know #my polls #my personal favorite is Why Does This Always Happen to Me #but Hardware Store is also a banger

[channnel]

Alan offers you his slushie. (Ft. Oc)

#my dear hatchet man #mdhm game #alan orion #mdhm oc #mdhm fanart #my art #also- thank you for 250 followers! #i had this for a month now- i made this a day before the livestream and after seeing it- i speed through it for two days- #i feel like the brothers would also casually say that their mother is dead and they don't expect anyone to react- except for Jules #Konrad insids the store watching and wondering why the fuck the forest guy is singing

[shusuikokuto]

zoro got lost in the store and thought this would help him find the rest of the crew (it did work but probably not the way he imagined)

inspired by this art by @bluechanas!!

reference: showing baby to supermarket camera meme

#one piece #one piece fanart #tony tony chopper #roronoa zoro #q: why is chopper shirtless? #a: he lost almost all his clothes in an incident. that's why they're in the store #i spent way too long on this but. it was fun #anyway. first one piece fanart i hope it is enjoyed :) #my art #edit: forgot to add the reference photo and a link to the meme #thought the meme would be pretty easy to recognise on sight but i like having references bc. it's nice for the 10k people a day etc #also PLEASE go look at bluechanas art. fave one piece artists ever #500

[ttec777]

This blew up the other day in twitter after a month of it being posted, so I decided to post it here too

#luis serra #leon kennedy #re4 remake #serennedy #almost all my art disappeared from my computer idk why #I have my art stored in an external drive too but I'm still quite upset about it because some sketches I was working on disappeared #sorry for the yapping y'all just ignore it