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#why do we have to make everything sad :(
felizusnavidad · 4 months
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unpopular opinion but i really miss those days when it was all about the music in taylor swift fandom
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tortellinigirl · 2 years
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I feel like recently, ADHD has kind of become shorthand for “a person who is annoying online and has no real problems,” and I don’t really think that’s awesome news, given the context that ADHD has a long history of being disregarded as a made up disorder that’s just an excuse for poor/obnoxious behavior, no matter how much scientific research proves otherwise. ADHD is not by any means the only disorder that has people making a thousand misleading tiktoks about it, so perhaps do some critical thinking about why specifically ADHD has become the poster child for that behavior. There are certainly valid criticisms to be made of the way we discuss mental health online, but maybe use your brain and determine why this disorder in particular is the one that’s easiest to point at for being “annoying” and “not that big of a deal.”
#idk maybe if u actually watched a couple of the tiktoks u might learn that the lack of focus thing is reall not the main issue#its just what the people around us are most likely to notice and be bothered by#not saying it doesnt get obnoxious seeing people say the same thing over and over#and yes some people are like purposely vague and disingenuous about the symptoms to get views from people thinking they have it now#but i see that with everything. like autism PTSD depression OCD anxiety#im always getting tiktoks saying that im a lesbian or i have repressed memories or “x normal thing is a symptom of y disorder!!”#and yes its annoying but its probably somewhat helpful to people who actually are dealing w those things#and also like. if u simply stop treating ur for you page like a crystal ball that sees into your soul and reflects it back#and realize its just an algorithm designed to make u interact whether thats bc u like what u saw or fucking hated it#then u will not be as bothered !#but yes our generation seems to have a habit of constantly trying to find the right box to out ourselves in so we can be like. “marketable”#like people seem to want to design their personality like an movie character or something#but its so shitty that we’re dog piling all that on ADHD as if our specific disorder has anything to do with it#also personally i think its kind of normal to be really focused on a particular aspect of your identity when u just discovered it#and it usually evens out and just becomes part of the background of your identity#but yes there’s often a problem with pathologizing normal things#but i think its important to recognize that lots of things that are normal occasionally are pathological in excess. like thats how it works#like we’ve all been through how being sad sometimes is not the same as depression#why cant we grasp that occasionally going into a room and forgetting why you’re there isnt the same as ADHD#my posts
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franeridan · 7 months
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ace's death might be the biggest thing fans regularly retcon in op fanworks and that's probably because ace is one of the most loved characters in the whole series but i was thinking that a huge part of why people can't just accept that it was a necessary evil and move on is that ace died without ever knowing sabo was alive and sabo got his memories back only after it was too late to do anything about them re: ace. by people I mean me. I find that unacceptable.
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sysig · 19 days
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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8rujaa · 7 months
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to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?
#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened#i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close#and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way#i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao#now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest#and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell#i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop#but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again#i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier#it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men#and i find myself unable to connect with anyone…#i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed#i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it#i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly.#i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad#i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so#i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized…#when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was#like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u#i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function.#plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized#how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone…#i went thru all that for nothing…#and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why#brain vomit
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bbq-potato-chip · 7 months
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i can't think about drawing right now I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!
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selkiecoded · 5 months
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okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds
#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys#im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF)#+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as:#I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone#but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring)#but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying.#right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch)#(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation)#but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner??#it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!!#in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes#but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek..#the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad...#follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical#(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.)#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog#lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc#go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them??#and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum#SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY
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anaalnathrakhs · 1 month
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it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.
mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.
#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD.#EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY#OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH#i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion''#they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them#so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child#they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table#just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase#i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either?#i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them.#i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to.#but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset#quiet at home#and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places#and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway?#keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine?#try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened?#i dont know how to live like a normal person#literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X.#go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book.#because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped.#everything hurts holy shit#broadcasting my misery#vent#ed tw
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shizunstan · 8 months
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I'm reading a book that makes me just so mad at christianity, not only nowadays but also in the early middle ages like gaaah so many thoughts
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torchickentacos · 8 months
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woooo ok well time to stop looking at furthering education options for right now. It's just overwhelming. I have genuinely zero direction right now so I can't narrow down the most useful degree when I don't even know what I'd be putting it towards. 4-year is very much expected of me, so I need to find SOMETHING, but I'm really coming up empty right now. Sigh. Just kind of complaining. I know this is THE MOST NORMAL FEELING EVER for being my age, but that doesn't make it any easier.
#long tags. i'm just talkin' and spiralin'. as you do over these things.#like. ok I took cultural geography and ADORED it#I love the sociology aspect of it#but a sociology degree wouldn't be good for me because I couldn't work in that field#I love the demographic/statistical/methodological aspect of it#but that requires math which is the number one thing I CAN'T do#the other side is the more social work based things that are like. ok how and why does xyz problem form in xyz communities or locations#and how can we fix it#everything gets to me and i'd get REALLY fucking sad really quickly in a social work sort of setting#and like i've BEEN the kid with 5 social workers and it's not an environment I would ever go back into. even on the other side of it#so i can't do the logical aspect of it and i can't do the more human based aspect of it#I know an english degree would be something I could do. my aunt and grandmother have one#and it's a wide enough net that I can use it for a lot of career paths. it leaves options wide open#and there's cultural studies within that that would connect to the sociological things I like studying#minus the more math prominent aspects of it#and once I DO find a job i need to make sure it's one i can physically do with my EDS POTS MCAS bullshittery#which is a WHOLE ASS OTHER THING#but i don't need this all figured out on a random monday evening#this is without me worrying about housing and employment during school and being able to handle it all with the adhd demons#bc sometimes two courses online is too much for me bc ADHD and pots brain fog. bc tldr i never have enough oxygeon or blood in my brain#which makes thinking difficult#and just. AUGH i do not need to figure it out right now!!!!!!!!!!!!1#this has STOPPED BEING USEFUL#only posting this bc i know other people feel the same sort of 'lost' otherwise i'd save it for my therapist#but this is tumblr so like i can just say shit here. if you think it's annoying you can leave ily but this is my house
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da-proti-toku-grem · 17 days
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feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
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cavsthighs · 23 days
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do. um. do you think he said that to me because he knows
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br1ghtestlight · 25 days
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assuming there's nothing I could do about my family and home life situation i think leaving my extremely toxic friend group and switching schools before high school would have been a GREAT idea in terms of not putting my entire future in jerpordy. But idk maybe it was already too late by that point. it's hard to say what decisions couldve actually had a positive impact
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pzyii · 9 months
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Need. content. of. Jenny. acting. Like. Willows. Mom.
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gifti3 · 1 month
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Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW
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#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him#im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh)#im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked#like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ)#and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings!#god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense” or “thats dumb”#sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear)#maybe dont be so dismissive#like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves#and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed#and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance???#like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off#leave it be!#god looking back on all this....#i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things#ppl can change so ill just hope for that#or maybe he'll meet his match#someone who reflects the same energy he has!#tho im not sure if hed like that haha#the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt#but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses#which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own#gotta get context for everything u know#but in this case....naur#like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind!#so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr#im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly#trying to make sure not to make things harder for them#and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset#but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???
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fruitbatvalentine · 3 months
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Making OC's for post WDGFIL Valentine to become friends with because he's a sad wet cat to me and deserves friendship
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