#why am i so incompetent

[six-of-ravens]

help i accidentally shut my phone down instead of restarting it and pressing and holding the power button does not...power it on

#i activated Fastboot Mode somehow #i don't want fastboot mode #why am i so incompetent

[srijellyfishtempura]

"we've been texting but I don't know if it's flirty or friendly" WHY IS HE ME

This is literally what I have been like with him for the past fucking 6 months

#gossip girl #him #why am i so incompetent #but also yes 'he refuses to ask him out until he knows he's gay' #i feel attacked by this gossip girl episode #but also my bestie Eric is just me #i fucking love him #i watch Eric episodes the same way i watch Castiel episodes

[aceofsweets]

, , , I'm trying to gain motivation to write again help {🔑}

SUXHDSH IM TRYING IM TRYING GUYS IM TYRYFUGJDFHDFYUNJD

#THIS IS MEANT TO BE A WRITING BLOG GODDAMNIT #WHY AM I SO INCOMPETENT #⭐ੈ✩‧₊˚::middy.talks

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[nani-nonny]

There’s??? A bird??? On my bed???

I don’t own a bird. Not even my roommates. My window isn’t open. No windows are open. No one is home yet.

I’m so confused. Someone’s blue budgie is just on my bed. Is this a prank?

My turtle doesn’t seem to care that there’s a whole bird chilling on my bed. (Not like she would or could do anything but still)

#it doesn’t mind me so it’s gotta be someone’s pet #I just don’t know whose #idek what to do with this bird but I guess I’ll ask around? #I don’t have anywhere to put the bird for when I ask around #I was just going to relax before studying some when I got home #why am I dealing with someone’s bird??? #I really hope it’s just a series of mistakes that led to the bird chilling on my bed #and not some incompetent owner that decided to disown their bird so irresponsibly #nonny nonsense

[thelastspeecher]

apparently one of my cousins was just accepted into a master's writing program at an Ivy League school

and that's why I almost never go on Facebook 🙃

#look. do I even think I could handle a master's in writing at an Ivy League? #.....I mean. I think so. I managed a master's in geoscience at one of the top geology schools in the nation. #(....''managed'' is doing some VERY heavy lifting there lnjasdknf) #but do I want to do that? no. #do I still feel weird and like I'm wasting my life and everyone else is more accomplished than me? yes. #it does help a bit that the cousin in question has outright told me her success is in large part from her father pushing her v hard #(he did the same thing to her siblings) #and that she kinda fucking hates how she was pushed to succeed so much #like I don't wish that on anyone but it does help me to put into context her success. it comes at a cost. like everything else. #and to be frank it's not a cost I'm willing to pay at this point in my life. #I still feel weird and uhhhhh incompetent I guess would be the best word tho #also like I'm wondering why she's going to an Ivy League when she's already at one of the top writing schools #maybe distance from her family....in which case. godspeed cuz. #ANYWAYS I have a v accomplished family that I at times feel inferior to despite my own accomplishments #and no that has no influence on my OC Angie's own similar feelings why would you think that #(my family would be upset if they knew I felt inferior btw no one makes me feel bad other than my own brain) #(I have a v loving and supportive family and am v blessed to have them~) #whine whine whine

[fatcowboys]

im done w moving and out of the shitty apt w the shittier roommate (who did not let move out happen without adding as Much drama as possible) and have just. been feeling so much better. living w my two friends who actually communicate well and all work together on our needs and gah. so less stressed and anxious now!!! and also in a week kitty introductions have gotten farther than they ever did w shitty roommates kitties (they were kinda bullies, so we had to move glacial speed even w oregano cat expert) and just. thank u the universe things are so much better now

#only improvement would be if anjo Also lived here curse grad school!!!!!! #i moved out over a week ago but we just tuened in keys after cleaning day on sunday #and across just those two days bad roommate accused me of faking cleaning a part of something (that was not requested or clear) #tried to turn anjo against me by saying im a liar and manipulator and gaslighter (which. listen the last one i could say the fuckin same) #(which is also so funny bc anjo and i are so close. became codependent in a heart beat. why tf would u think anjo is gonna be on ur side) #then at the walkthru pointed out things that were damaged (which they are Alsonin on that security deposit what are u doing) #and the texted again accusing me of shit with a stupid fucking infographic on weaponized incompetance #thankfully like all of these i had my friends with me bc when infirst got there for cleaning i uhhhh had a panic attack lol #so i had good support thru everything and now never have to deal w them #its just. been So much lmao. and its so fucking nice how calm and smooth things have been #like i had that sort of shit. i in general am good at communicating and avoid shitty drama like this person #so its been So exhausting. but im done now thank god #and the new place is so much better and nicer and i love the friends im living w and Yeah :')

[bandzboy]

i can't even put into words how much i want sm's downfall and by the looks of it it's gonna happen soon with the way their artists are leaving and they are resorting to debuting an alledged sa-er i mean..... but what i hate is how much they dgaf about their current groups enough to protect them this honestly tale as old as time and anyone would know this if they at least staned one sm group in their lives but i feel like it's becoming so apparent they dgaf about their artists especially when it comes to riize and now the karina situation like instead of protecting them you are putting them on hiatus for dating and smoking predebut?? making them apologize for wanting to date?? and now the person that invaded seunghan's privacy is now doing it to sohee and anton and this would not have happened if they sued this person in the first place because now wtf are you gonna do?? put them on hiatus?? how is that gonna solve the insane elephant in the room rn?? your artists are being harassed and this is your only solution?? don't fucking piss me off

#I AM SO ANNOYED #i already am because of elections today #but this just sent me into orbit #i'm honestly mad #they are so incompetent no wonder why they are slowly crumbling #i hope this fuck ass company burns i am so serious rn #tris.txt

[elegyofthemoon]

kicking and screaming FREE ME ALREADY

#tw vent #vent #PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE #i dont wanna do this anymore and i have to wait 3 weeks to actually leave #threeeeee weeeeeks of heeeeeeell #like i said: i genuinely could care less anymore so me? studying? lmaoooo lololol #the only thing im afraid of is more getting yelled at and being treated as incompetent #yeah babey!! i sure am incompetent!! and that is why!!! i am leaving !!! i hate ALL OF YOU #as i said before: all things i do lately is judt for expectation its not even like 'for my future' #i just want this done asap #anyways sorry i just needed to vent this. #internets still bad here too 😒 #the guy was supposed to fix it 4 hours ago but um. didnt show up lmao #im sorry lately if i seem really down rhese days #i know i said im gonna try to be positive (at least i still have happy logs) #but Man.

[astramachina]

the last thing i ever wanted to do was deal with "rare reproductive complications" as a trans guy because now i'm being handed off from doctor to doctor being told to fill out forms and questionnaires that are in no way relevant to my health or lifestyle (and getting them rejected because of it) all the while being misgendered left and right like how on earth are you going to look at me, see a fucking name like mitchell and my testosterone dosage on my goddamn chart, and still say shit like "oh i've got her imaging results right here"!!!!!!!!

i'm going to explode. again. this time externally all over your pristine little office floor. i hope you get my blood in your mouth and the taste lingers there for the rest of your fucking life.

#i am in pain. i just want to be in Not Pain. the only way to stop the pain is to remove the thing that never worked. #why is it so FUCKING complicated. why are you all so FUCKING incompetent. #this is THE transgender state you people are supposed to be educated on the fucking subject! #oh my FUCKING GOD I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND #MEDICAL CW

[musashi]

ultimately, people are the experts on their own experience. it's really fucking telling when someone else tries to tell you what they think you need.

the disabled crowd probably knows this. but just in case anyone else is listening.

#wordy wendy #why do people on this website assume i am not doing all in my power to live a long happy healthy joyous life? #why do people on this website think i am so incompetent that i have not simply tried their arbitrary avenue? #answer quickly. #i honestly hate being autistic on this website so much #no other website is as terrible to autistics as tumblr

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

#.mei chats #soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain #i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent #i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them #and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself #but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back #trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do #Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms #or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!! #<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect #in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly. #they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid. #god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now #i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all #so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do #god this got long. sawry #.not f/o related

[cowardstiel]

i think it should be mandatory that everyone watch The Social Dilemma at least once every six months

#dear everyone saying that tumblr doesn't have an algorithm: yes it does oh my GOD. #i see people say this so often irt twitter and reddit migration #just because tumblr has a different feed system to facebook/inta/twitter doesn't mean the only things you see are exactly what you want #free of influence or coercion #simplest example is tumblr suggesting users and tags for u to follow. what do you think is informing its suggestions? #how does it know which blogs are similar? it's not by fucking chance #please i know we all clown on what a mess this website is and how poorly it delivers ads but let's not forget that that's a choice they mak #if tumblr wanted to deliver ads in the way other social media sites do they could. but it's part of the image they've created for themselve #hence why they feel they can offer a paid subscription to remove ads that has an off switch so u can still see their weird crazy zany ads #because they know how much we love to clown on their shit ads. they know users will screenshot and share ads if they're weird enough #and they want you to. they're not so incompetent that they can't get us classy ads lol. this is their brand. let's not forget that! #anyway this is all triggered by me sending someone (hi bunni <3) a post of misha collin's sfx make up in gotham knights that popped up as a #recommended post despite me never having watched it or searched for it etc. what triggered that post appearing was me searching/tagging spn #a couple times recently. and of course misha collins and spn are frequently cross tagged. anyway since then i have been bombarded with that #godforsaken show constantly on my dash #sorry to gotham knights enjoyers i get the appeal and i am a dc simp but it's just not for me ig #if u read all this i love u im kissing you sloppystyle and or giving u a firm and warm handshake and or a friendly nod like we're walking #past each other on a beautiful day <3 #my post

[morphogenetic]

my life has just turned into an endless grading cycle. i spent 6 hours grading one hw set today (and may not even be done with it lol). i ALSO have two more hws and a midterm (+ 1 more midterm once it hits wednesday) to grade. just kill me now lol

#why am i such a fucking failure that i cant even grade basic shit from A CLASS I ALREADY TOOK FROM THE EXACT PROFESSOR #why am i such a fucking failure that it takes 6 hours to grade 14 people. lmao #nobody cares aj #i havent been able to do any research at all in WEEKS and its destroying me because its proving even more that i should just quit while im #ahead no matter how much i fucking LIKE DOING RESEARCH. LOL. ANYWAY #im so fucking behind in everything (grading research the whole lot) and i feel like im drowning but its because of my own incompetence. #just fucking k*ll me now lmfao. god. christ. what am i even doing #(all of these are rhetorical questions. i dont want an actual answer or reply to any of those lol) #(that said. liking this post if you read through all these godforsaken tags would be nice.) #(not required in the slightest but you know. would be nice to be acknowledged. anyway

[bibiana112]

I too wish that the medical hack that made me grow up in a purgatory like state of existence would rot in prison Akane was so real for this

#delete later #I am realllyyy going through it today had to stop doing thr dishes before I broke something #pray I don't make anything worse cause my stupid parents are making this situation much muddier I don't think I can talk them into helping #but if they don't help on my side it then they were complicit to the other and I don't want my sibling to be caught on that crossfire #if I go ahead with this I guess I should talk to my dad he could Potentially be reasonable about this my mom would be the one worse off #and she wouldn't take it well which is why I wish I could just deal with it on my own but noo she had to go do something dumb #uuuugh whyyy couldn't this happen to someone whose parents have enough of a spine to stand by their child #akshakshsj aah I'm so... hhhh sick of hearing im so sorry that happened to you #I know myself well enough to understand there's no way I'll just sit with this for the rest of my life I need to take action somehow #I hate that it's someone who still has a license I hate how someone so stupid and prejudiced is taken more seriously because of a degree #that it's someone still perfectly sympathetic to my parents because he's a family man who just didn't know better and wanted to help #nevermind me almost dying that once because of how the Wrong medicine interacted with antibiotics I needed to not die from the flu #it kept me up for three days straight at home for six months and I was blamed for that instead of his incompetence

[m-an-u]

"which questions do I have to do?" The ones that are remaining. Bc yours is the only work that isn't done.

#Prof gave us extension till tomorrow evening thank god #weaponised incompetence 1000000 and i Know ill have to fix all of his chatgpt paraphrasing anyways #the prof is literally a research prof he studied research why am i stuck hereeeeee #the other girl here also chatgptd hers it's so bad u guys.... just write Smth thats not 1:1 copy paste 😭 #I understand using it but don't make it obvious 🙏