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occamstfs · 2 days

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Actually, They're Called Tetrominoes

Been holding out on some kinda Video Game trigger, here's a bit of an odd Russian cultural/racial TF, enjoy! -Occam

Michael could stand to be a more pleasant person. Day to day he is a pretty run of the mill head-down kinda guy, amicable but never really goes out his way to chat or make friends. Instead he finds his free time often used to prowl the internet looking for people to torment online in whatever way he finds funny at the moment. Born too late to be a goon on SomethingAwful he typically pages through Reddit threads and communities looking for someone sensitive or cartoonishly argumentative.

This is precisely where he finds himself tonight, being a pedant on some video game thread that he doesn’t truly care about. Some presumably Russian user, u/ZandrIvnov, seems to be quite proud of Tetris which Michael finds incredibly amusing. As an American he too takes pride in many of the cultural exports and ideas that his nation has sent into the world, including many of the deeply entrenched ideas about the Russian and Soviet people taught in world history. It takes especially little for him to decide to start taunting and baiting this man sitting at his keyboard a world away.

Michael launches petty taunts at the Russian, poking fun at his nationality and Eastern Europe at large, stopping short at making fun of the man’s less than perfect English, for now at least. Michael switches between accounts to upvote his responses and even add additional dunks on the Tetris-fan as needed. Try as he might though to get the conversation away from the ancient game and get some more personal and profane digs in there he finds it difficult to find any truly satisfying or clever insults.

Getting tired of hearing this man assert Russian superiority he prepares to pull the ripcord and move on before he sees the Russian misstep talking about the game he’s so invested in, as probably the only fun fact he has on deck comes to mind. After the Russian so eloquently compares Michael’s head to a Tetris piece Michael immediately replies, “okay lol big fan huh they’re actually called tetrominoes” and then moves on to find some other doofus to bully on the internet.

On the other side of the screen Sasha seethes at the man, so juvenile in his mockery “Проклятые американцы. (Fucking Americans.)” He takes to his own keyboard messaging Michael directly as his arrogant messages dry up in the thread proper, Sasha was going to have him put his money where his mouth was. He offers a challenge, “u americans are so proud da? how about we see whos country rly is the best”

Michael felt his pulse rise in excitement at how much he has truly bothered this man. Smug smile on his face as he types his response, “what did u have in mind, Zander?”

“Саша(Sasha) is my name. since u are so smart about tetris, why not see who is actual master of game da?” Sasha offers, knowing already that the troll is sure to accept out of pride alone. Michael wasn’t all that much of a gamer but surely he could show this dweeb what’s what yeah? He starts looking up tips to win Tetris as he replies “sure whatever dude, what are u thinkin”

Sasha smirks as he has Michael right where he wants him, “loser agrees with winner about national superiority? should not be problem if you americans are so good at every thing” Michael was already eager to give it a go and Sasha’s taunt only makes him all the more raring to go. Before he can even pause his meager attempt to study strategy, Sasha sends over a link to the game and Michael clicks over to play, leaving the cheat sheet open on a second monitor.

Michael types his name into the game and finds himself looking at a familiar screen. He’s never played the game competitively but it’s a pretty simple game right? He just needs to keep his cool once the pieces start flying in. He gets the cheeky idea to check the cheat sheet in between pieces. That’s that good-old red white and blue ingenuity, Michael thinks. Unaware that these are of course also of the Russian flag. There’s a ping from the board as Sasha uses the in game chat to ask “u understand the rules da”

Michael sends back a thumbs up and Sasha sets the game going. It is predictably uneventful at the beginning, neither man making any particularly interesting plays. Michael continues to skim how to best cheat the game while Sasha waits for the perfect moment to fuck him over. Michael finds himself enjoying the game more than he thought he would as he hears the familiar tune, it is awfully catchy isn’t it? He’s gotta hand it to the soviets for that. His gameplay slows down as he tries to speedread the page on his other monitor. Instead of forcing pieces quickly he instead lets them drift slowly while his board is relatively clear. Sasha sees this and decides to go in for the kill.

Suddenly as Michael’s eyes wander away from the game for just a second too long there is an unfamiliar sound. He darts his attention back only to see the floor of his Tetris board rocket up in response to Sasha doing an impossibly well timed combo of lines. Michael’s heartbeat increases at a shocking rate in response as losing becomes a very real possibility. Why is he so upset? His face grows red as he realizes just how outclassed he is. Obviously this is no big deal right? Just a game. But Michael cannot help but feel physically uncomfortable as the tides start to turn so swiftly.

There is suddenly a crick in his neck that he stretches to avail but only exacerbates as a soreness begins to spread further across his body. Man is he tensing up too much? It’s just, it’s just a game right? Trying to calm down he is hit with the thought as if it were a shot of adrenaline that he absolutely cannot lose this game. His eyebrows furrow as they begin to square and thicken, casting dark shadows over his rage-filled eyes. His limbs take turns cramping as he clenches his neck and jaw to distract from the pane, not noticing as the structure of his face begins to change.

His chest grows to join the chorus of muscle spasms as Michael struggles to keep up with even Sasha’s slower gameplay. Across the seas Sasha takes his time, knowing victory is in the bag, and savoring what he knows must be happening to his little troll Michael right now. He smirks as he imagines the discomfort in Michael’s changing body as he feels warmth grow in his own chest, and crotch, as he decides just how much he wants to play with his food.

Back in the states Michael finds the heat, the sweat, the tightness of his clothes increasingly unbearable. As he continues to mash buttons on his remote he is too intent on the game to notice as hair begins to darken around his forearms and begin to snake its way towards his hands. He rubs them each down to placate the tickle on his growing arms. This is absolutely nothing to the creeping itch that is starting to encompass the entirety of his rapidly expansive legs. He shifts his heavier thighs trying to soothe the discomfort, making a loud sound as they pull away from the sweat sticking them to the chair but not allaying the soreness or itch in the slightest.

He grunts and notices not how his voice has grown both deeper and gruffer in his throat. Michael struggles to keep the remote from slipping out of his hands as sweat trickles down from his hairy arms and into his palms. Before it becomes a problem however Michael takes advantage of the lull in Sasha’s gameplay and tries to quickly remove his far too strained shirt. It should be a simple task after all, just put the remote down for a second, slide it off, and then back to the game. He does a brief check in to ensure he has even that and after believing he does Michael starts to try and remove the shirt strained and sticking to his skin.

He has precious little time as the pieces continue to fall at their set pace in game. He gets one hand under the hem of his shirt and tries to wrench it while keeping his other hand on the controller, this lets in a breeze of cold air sending quivers of pleasure across his pulsating muscle, as well as igniting a burning ache in his chest and torso. His upper body grows even further, finally overfilling his shirt as the sound of tears ring out in his bedroom alongside the same repetitive folk song he knows well. The idea that this shirt was loose fitting when he threw it on this morning or that he just identified the Tetris theme as a folk song rather than an 8-bit annoyance don’t have a chance to come to mind as he struggles to remain focused on not losing the game.

He pulls the shirt up to his chest before it gets uncomfortably stuck “Ach, bog uh- god damnit.” He scratches at his chest as the soreness and growing muscle makes way for a fiery prickling as the few chest hairs he has been a tad ashamed of begin to thicken and darken on his chest. Swirling out from his nipples and inching higher on his chest with each breath, he continues to struggle to remove himself mindlessly. Finding his shirt caught on his expansive pecs he rubs his hand underneath it across his sweaty chest, and finding it pleasurably drag through more hair on his pecs than he would’ve sworn he had in his pubes, he resolves to remove the shirt however he can.

As soon as he finishes a line Michael tosses the remote down and goes to raise his shirt above his head, his thicker arms struggling as they adjust to their new range of motion. He wrests the tight shirt above his head, his chest bursting large once more, freed from the garment as the breeze tickles the sweat covered chest hair and forces his enlarged nipples to harden. Having overcome his suddenly massive pecs the neckline is now caught on his chin, his arms raised high above his head expose his pits to the cold open air. He feels the air con blow against his recently shaved pits as the hair begins to grow back. It starts to catch as the hair begins to grow thicker and longer than it had ever done before, curling together as new hairs begin to push out and form a bush thick enough to never see the skin beneath again.

This also brings his attention to new development in his body, with his face shoved into his shirt it would be impossible not to notice the unbecoming amount of sweat soaking it. Arms raised though he finally notices that he has an altogether far more powerful scent, on par with a macro-obsessed body builder or hygiene-phobic wild man. Michael feels a beard start to push out into the shirt still hugging his face. Shaving once a month was more than enough to keep him clean shaven but now he knew deep in his mind that he would never have a day again where his face would be smooth. It’s that Ru- That American blood in him, right?

He begins to feel himself lost in the scent as his mind begins to grow distracted, attention fading from the game despite the looping tune filling his mind. He turns his head to smell his pits through his shirt which is when he hears the dreaded sound of Sasha making a combo once more, “Gah! Nyo, I can’t lose” he shouts, not noticing as his rough tone begins to develop a slight accent. Ending the long-standing struggle against his shirt he simply rips it off and jumps for the controller, ashamed at how foolish and lustful he has suddenly found himself in the middle of this all-important competition.

He needs to make his people proud! He cannot let Amerika down, ya? His focus and vision return to the game as he stumbles through one more line before all the pieces fall from view and the game declares Sasha the winner. Mikael reflexively pounds his table shouting, “Ny- no! I, this!” struggling to find any words to make his loss okay. Unable to notice just how bizarre this game has affected him, though sure that something grave has occurred. He scrambles to the chat box where he sees Sasha has yet again beaten him to the punch, “gg Брат(brother) yes?”

Mikael’s eyes don’t even notice the language switch in the message as he quickly races to demand a rematch. Punching keys slower than the career-cyberbully is accustomed to, almost as if he would be more comfortable with a different keyboard format, slowly he punches his response “one more best dva out of tri ya?” Sasha laughs out loud seeing Mikael suddenly typing out anglicized Russian. He smirks and squeezes his crotch in excitement at just how far this American brat has fallen into his hands. Sasha responds in full Russian knowing that Mikael may as well already be his countryman. “конечно, почему бы и нет, брат (sure why not, brother)”

Mikael smiles as he prepares for yet another go against Sasha, he’s eager to learn from his, uh? Suddenly he can’t quite remember how he knows Sasha exactly as his memories of his persistent pathetic history of being a troll begins to fade from his mind. As the Tetris theme starts once more with the game Mikael finds himself singing along as the words to the folk song it is based on, blushing at the vulgarity therein.

The race is on once more and though he was sure this was a competition against his friend, no, his брат(brother), Sasha, He can’t help but feel a giddiness as the game progresses. He feels a warmth in his chest just from playing a game of his childhood, of his country? No he’s a born and bred statesman da? He’s from, uh Moscow is a city in one of the states too da? Though he finds himself distracted his body continues to expertly control the game subconsciously.

He blushes as he struggles to remember where he grew up, it was a smaller town for sure. Somewhere very far North for sure, after all why else would he grow so hairy! He launches into a hearty laugh as body hair continues to push out from every pore in his body, sure to be peaking out from every shirt collar on both sides. He scratches at his pubes as it becomes clear that even besides his massive package there will evermore be a bulge in his pants from this unkept jungle as well.

His eyes continue to follow the pieces up and down as they slowly begin to lighten and bleach themselves an icy blue. The itchiness that has made itself at home through the whole of its body is replaced with a burning pleasure as he thinks oh his home. Full days where there is only sun, long treks into the city to visit St. Basil’s, helping his mother fry pirozhki. The hair atop his head bleaches itself a sandy blonde while still thickening and pulling itself short as a lightbulb goes off in his head his voice rumbles in his chest as he reflexively speaks in what must be his mother tongue, “Конечно! я спрошу у Саши (Of course! I’ll just ask Sasha).”

He goes to pause the game as he now knows he can do and types to Sasha in chat, “hey брат, wher am i от again?” Sasha smirks at just how easy this was stopping short from fully masturbating as he thinks of his new massive countryman living a world away as he replies, “недалеко от Москвы, Миша (just outside of Moscow, Misha).”

Misha’s eyes glaze over as he reads this, the room around him changes, American flags familiar patterns shift into the Russian tricolor. Any writing within the room shifts from English to the cyrillic alphabet and Misha sits there with a smile as he recalls his home. Long winters working alongside his best friend Sasha. His neck thickens and his waist expands as he thinks of long nights drinking alongside his friends to abate the cold. The game of Tetris continues on and he again feels a warmth in his chest at the chance to play with his dearest Друг(friend) Sasha.

For the life of him he can’t quite remember why he has moved to Америки though he is sure that Sasha will know. Sasha always knows the right thing to do. One thing is for sure though, he is going to do his Motherland proud.

#male tf #cultural change #hair growth #muscle tf #masculinization #racial change #mental change

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ghostofhyuck · 2 days

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NCT Dream trying not to get caught that they're dating you.

Mark Lee

Oh this one's hard for both of you. Whenever you're around Mark's face lights up. LIKE. He's just there glancing at you nonstop, and just smiling and giggling randomly. He thinks that he's being slick but he's not, everyone is convinced that he had eye-fucked you the moment you enter the room. Sometimes he's more bold like when you're alone in the kitchen, it'll be a perfect opportunity for him to sneak up on you and hug you while no one's around.

Huang Renjun

Renjun is much much bolder than Mark. He'll try his best to have physical touch with you subtly. Like when you're greeting the members one by one with a hug, he has to make sure to leave an extra squeeze on you before you two separate. Or when he's passing by you while you're sitting on the sofa, he'll be the type to ruffle your hair. If you two are seated together, he'll hold your hands under the table or places his hands on your thighs.

Lee Jeno

Jeno is great with hiding his relationship with you because he's an introvert. But it'll pique curiousity when he's always on his phone and is smiling widely, sometimes he even lets out a small chuckle. Whenever he's asked who he's talking to, he'll say that he just found a funny video something like that. And he just never gets caught because he has your contact saved with something you and him only understands or maybe an emoji to be more secretive.

Lee Haechan

Haechan's eyes never lies, so I feel like he's not subtle about his relationship with you. Like his eyes just never leave yours. He'll glance at you at any opportunity that he can find and it's obvious because he turns his head at your direction!! Sometimes when your eyes meets his, he'll either: look away embarrassed or be bold enough to wink at you. If you hit back by giving him a wink, he'll be left blushing red. (his members are going to ask why is he so red.)

Na Jaemin

Jaemin feel like he's more secretive now that he has his own place, so you just usually hang around at his place. But whenever he's with his members and he's calling you, he's not subtle that he's dating someone, it's just who he is dating is a secret from them. And that's because he calls you with endearments, "Love, sunshine, baby, my love." whatever call sign as long as it's not your name so that you two wouldn't be caught.

Zhong Chenle

Oh Chenle would be the type to dragging other members into the mess. Especially Dreamies. He'll be the type to ask them to cover up for him whenever you two go out on dates. Or if he did get caught, he'll be brush it off, "What do you mean a girl? That was Jaemin-hyung, why would I be with a girl?" he's the king of lies and excuses and it sounds so convincing because Jaemin will pull up and say, "yeah that was me."

Park Jisung

This one takes the cake because no one will know that he's dating someone until the dating news will be published online. WDYM JISUNG OUR PRECIOUS YOUNGEST IS DATING YOU ?????? When did this happened !?!?! I feel like dating Jisung is so casual because it's like hanging out with a friend and the members wouldn't find it malicious that you two are close. He probably isn't that talkative and just, "do I really need to tell you guys about my love life?"

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queenhunter102 · 2 days

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Meeting the guys for the first time.

Johnny ‘Soap’ McTavish.

Johnny would be nervous, like, REALLY nervous. This would be the first time you would be meeting his team, his brothers, and he would be fidgety and bouncy, like this man could not sit still.

Like he had soft launched your guy's relationship, letting you appear little by little, in video calls when he was away, talk about you in social spaces, like he posted your hands on his socials when he eventually got a few questions, all of which he artfully dodged (I.E. running away)

So when he brought you into the room, he tensed a little, watching as his team turned their full attention to him and you. He wrapped an arm over your shoulder. Their eyes locked and narrowed onto you; he tensed further when John stood up, walked over, and held his hand out to you.

“So, You’re the one who has been hogging our boy?” John said, smiling.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley.

Now, Simon is a little less nervous. He literally NEVER TOLD ANYONE that you and he were together. Still, he was worried about how his found family would react to you. These were his brothers, and he trusted these men with his life, so he shouldn't worry about bringing you into the bar.

He quietly walks you into the bar, sliding you into what would be his seat. He removes his coat and puts it over the back of the chair, resting his forearms on it and leaning over you.

He watched each member to you, each expression going from a playful look to a surprise. He was surprised to find Simon in the seat but found you instead, like these men, who were shocked, to say the least.

Johnny would be the one to shake out of his stupor first and give you a smile. “Ahh, you’re the one he sneaks off to visit,” he said, nodding.

Alejandro Vargas.

Alejandro…is…… unique in the sense that he hardly hides you from the team. To him, things are often better when left to the imagination. He rarely shows pictures of you; if he does, it is a side profile or the back of you, all very obscure and very…magnetic. Still, he often talks with you on speakerphone in front of the team.

He would often send pictures of the boys to you, making it seem like each of them knew you before ever actually meeting you, so it wasn't much of a shock when Alejandro showed up with you on his arm, wearing one of his jackets.

Alejandro would press his lips to your ear, whispering who is who. While each of the boys eyed you, no one made a move. Still, when Simon gives you a nod, the rest of the team converges as if that is their signal, and suddenly, you are getting handshakes, waves, and hugs left, right, and centre.

“Ahh, yes, the invisible team member,” Gaz said, sipping his vodka.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

Gaz? I don’t think he would care. It's not like he isn’t keeping your super top secret. He’s careful to hide you on social media, considering his job. But still, he takes all the cute photos with you instead of holding ice cream, holding hands, and taking pictures of your OOTD.

And he certainly didn’t keep you a secret on base, like this man would show you off when he could. This man has his memory filled to the MAX of your face, so it wasn’t much of a surprise when he brought you into the bar like he had been doing it for months, considering he didn't stop talking about you.

So when you smiled and introduced yourself, they gave you polite smiles and nods, as if you had been a part of their team or their lives for a while despite only being with Kyle for a few months.

Simon would be the first out of the lot to speak. “At least we can cut the light, fluffy shit and go straight to the trauma”, he said dryly, causing Kyle to pout and glare at him.

Captain John Price.

Finally, Price, our group's dad, has never talked about you on base. And we think Simon is bad? This man has no pictures anywhere, not in his office or on social media, like NOWHERE, so the boys were floored when he rocked up to the bar with your hand in hand.

Like it would be funny, he would smile and pull up a chair for you, casually leaning his arm over your chair. He would laugh at the boys' reaction and watch as their eyes flicked from John to you and back. He would smile and press sweet kisses to your cheeks, whispering sweet nothings.

As he sipped his whiskey before sliding you over the glass and letting you have a sip, each of the boys would just stare and blink before, one by one, they each shakily offered you their hand, giving you a chance to shake it, cause to these boys if their captain can keep you hidden from them? And not utter a singular word?

“Well, If this isn’t awkward, I don’t know what is”, Alejandro said, chugging some of his beer.

Taglist: @cringeycookies (If you wanna be in my Taglist: Here) Remember: leaving a like, re-blogging, and commenting helps in this world and encourages more. See you around, my little loves. Kissess.

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riki-riks-chick · 9 hours

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Can u please make enhypen hyung line, when their gf jokes about them having a small dick in front of other members? 👀

Heeseung:

You'd be hanging out and laughing with the boys, listening to them shit talk as they made comparisons such as who was better at video games or sports. Jay had countered the whole argument with the statement, "It doesn't matter because I have the biggest dick and that's more important." You'd all laughed at the randomness of his words, and you countered them with, "I bet my dick is bigger." At your words the boys grew louder in their laughter, and Heeseung decided to tease you. "Is it bigger than mine?.."

"It's not very hard to beat that." You joked, knowing full well that Heeseung's dick wasn't small, and he was fine until the boys started laughing extra hard. "It's okay, we'll see how small it is when I'm fucking you dumb later."

Jay:

You had been hanging out with the boys all day, deciding to end the day by going out for food and drinks. You guys eventually started playing truth or dare, and when it landed on you, you picked truth. Jake had asked if Jay's dick was big or not, and you decided to jokingly say no. "No, but it isn't always about size." You joked, clearly laughing, but Jay didn't find it funny. "You're really gonna say my dick is small like I wasn't pressing against your belly button last night?.." The table went quiet for a minute after that.

Jake:

You were out with Jake and Sunghoon, spending the day with them shopping and just having fun in general. You guys ended up in an adult store, wanting to take some silly pictures with random sex toys you'd never buy. Sunghoon had eventually picked up a big dildo, showing it to you. "Is Jake this big?.." He asked randomly as you laughed. "What? Of course not. Jake's super small." Jake had immediately laughed, knowing you were joking. "Baby.. Even if I was small, which we both know I'm not, I'd still dick you down better than that floppy piece of silicone."

Sunghoon:

You and Sunghoon had been hanging around the boys all day, it was hot so you grabbed a popsicle from the freezer. You were minding your business, sitting beside Sunghoon as you watched the movie playing on the TV, mindlessly sucking on the popsicle. Sunghoon had chuckled, rubbing your thigh. "Baby.. If you wanted to suck on something you could've just asked." He whispered as you laughed. "I think the popsicle is fine. It's bigger anyway." You teased as Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. Heeseung and Jay started laughing from across the couch, making Sunghoon even more annoyed. "Okay, if my dick is smaller than that popsicle, I guess it's not enough to satisfy you. Next time you're horny, go find a bigger dick to fuck you."

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hyung line #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enha smut #enhypen heeseung #sunghoon enhypen #enhypen jay #enhypen jake

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piosplayhouse · 2 days

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YouTube channel recommendation because I'm shocked this guy isn't more popular:

Jauwn reviews terrible cryptocurrency/nft games from the perspective of an average gamer who doesn't know anything about cryptocurrency on a quest to find the worst of the worst-- he offers hilariously scathing reviews on the games and how useless cryptocurrency is, but while explaining how everything works and exactly why it fails in an extremely understandable way. He's fair and thorough in rating them, so it's a great objective look at how plainly shitty the games are. Also the games are just really funny to look at. ++ No sponsorships on the videos!! So also perfect to listen to while doing art/cooking/working on real game development : ))

#jauwn

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evenmoreofadisaster · 3 days

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Hi hello 🙌✨ I had a question about Two that I think hasn't been asked before..

I was curious...what kind of thing(s) does Two find humorous? Like, what makes Two genuinely laugh? Any inside jokes with One?

I have the same question about One, but I thought I'd separate them. Unless it's easier to answer all in one fell swoop, of course.

Hello ace! Wonderful question

Two laughs at his own wit. Once he's able to be a kid / himself he'd think he's the funniest thing on earth. He doesn't think One is funny. The only other person who can make him laugh is April but when Two laughs its usually as a response to something else like when he's playing a video game or if he’s nerding out about something and is genuinely excited, which would be more after s2.

He does like to make people laugh which is weird for him. Not in a way that rise Leo does where he's the clown but just in the way that he finds it like a puzzle. If he can't connect with people maybe he can get an in by being funny, and bc he's smart he’s inherently got a leg up in being witty.

Two likes to make splinter laugh its the highest achievement he can get. And Draxum gets kind of taken aback when he sees how much more Two laughs and jokes around. But he usually dials it back when Draxum’s around until he slowly unlearns being stoic in front of him, which he gears towards by the time he's an adult. Then he gets more mouthy with Draxum who enjoys bantering with Two because he can actually keep up and match his intellect. One can too but Two can do it in a different way. One will disrespect him (affectionate) in a snarky way and Two will do it in a smart way, both showing off what he always knew were their respective strengths: being clever and being intelligent

The twins do have inside jokes. After they recover, Mikey and Raph will get to see how weird One and Two actually are now that there's no pressure on them. Once the twins are actually in harmony with each other they can really bring back the few times they were happy together. One gets a kick out of other people's misfortune/bad luck-- mostly his brothers'. Usagi also makes him laugh. One doesn't joke or fool around as much as rise Leo because he was trained to take things seriously but he'll slowly start to ease up and learn to have fun and laugh with his brothers. Once things are better with Two, One will dedicate the rest of his life trying to make him laugh.

#emd au #emd asks

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johnnieguilbertsgirlfriend · 1 day

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hi hi hi! so i was wondering if you could possibly write a little johnnie Smut and fluff where maybe johnnie invites his gf (reader) to be in a video with him and Jake (possibly a Halloween type video) and jake making his silly little comments about johnnie being a virgin and getting no pussy and reader makes a lil comment agreeing w jake. Johnnie being salty the rest of the video and it leading to smut w a lil choking maybe 😜🤭🤭🤭

(i love your writing, feel free to tweak this however u please!)

𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧? - 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

contains: dom! johnnie x f sub! reader, fluff, smut, p in v, choking, fingering, spanking

word count: 1.5k

this request is mmm i needed some dom johnnie

story below the cut

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emo guy:

y/n

babe

babe.

baby wake up

you:

mmmm whats up

emo guy:

wanna be in a vid with me and jake pleease

you:

ok only bc ur so cute

y didnt u tell me this in person?

we live together

emo guy:

oh shit i forgot

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johnnie opens the door to your shared room to find you sprawled out in the bed. you see he's already ready to attack the day, which is surprising, considering he normally doesn't wake up before 2 p.m. you stare at him for a few moments, not saying anything, before playfully pretending to fall back asleep. he takes this as a challenge, walking over to the curtains and yanking them open, almost blinding himself in the process.

"aughh johnnie it's way too bright" you yawn, the light hurting your eyes. he walks back over to you, leaving a quick kiss to your forehead. "c'mon you have to wake up, jake wants to film a video." you sigh, "what are we gonna do?" he looks at the ceiling before looking back down, "i don't know, i think he wants to buy some halloween stuff or something." "okay tell him i'll be ready soon," you say while stretching your limbs. scratching your head, you get up. "we're gonna leave soon, don't be too long babe." johnnie says, walking out of the room.

you finish your light makeup, as you had already styled your hair and put on some clothes that consisted of johnnie's shirt, no name pajama pants, and socks with birks. it wasn't too much, but it was still so cute on you. johnnie watches you finish your makeup, coming up the vanity. "how did i manage to get the prettiest, loving, and sweet girl ever?" he says, peppering kisses on top of your head, putting his arms around you. "ooh someone's feeling lovey dovey today," you say, pulling him in to a longer kiss. jake bursts through the door, "i- ew, okay guys stop licking on eachother. mama bear needs some candy in her system right now, and i don't need to see all that." he says in a funny southern accent, leaving the room. you laugh a little with johnnie, as you see jake grab his keys, heading to the garage, which is a signal for you guys to get your butts out of the house.

this time, you were the designated camera man, so you held it while they walked through the parking lot. "-and this time we actually have a special guest," you turned the camera around on to yourself and waved, "hey guys, i'm gonna be babysitting these nerds because they got kicked out last time!" johnnie makes an offended expression, "um excuse me it was actually jake who got kicked out because he wouldn't stop screaming" "guys stop ganging up on me" as you film them walking in the store, jake loses spatial awareness, crashing into the metal racks behind him, causing a laugh to come from you and your boyfriend. "oww what the hell johnnie why would you push me like that?" "yeah johnnie why would you do that to poor jake?" "okay how is that fair-"

the video continued like normal, just you three being idiots and making dirty jokes. the shopping cart is almost full to the brim with junk food, random costumes, and halloween decorations. "oh my god johnnie, we have to get you this." jake says, as he holds up a really stupid costume. "that's definitely something a discord mod virgin would wear." "yeah that's exactly my point." "seems pretty realistic." you and jake say at the same time, making fun of johnnie. bursting into fits of laughter, the two of you take turns roasting him. "what do you mean dude you get absolutely zero pussy" "okay y/n help me out here-" "yeah the only girl johnnie hangs out with is you jake." you say, following up his comment. "hey!" johnnie rolls his eyes, looking away and scoffing. you and jake didn't notice, continuing to joke around about johnnie's lack of action, which obviously wasn't true because he was dating you.

typically, you guys wouldn't get mad at eachother when you took turns embarrassing the other, but for some reason he actually seemed slightly pissed. "anyways.." jake continues talking about anything he can think of. for some reason, your boyfriend still looked salty, making snarkier-than-usual comments towards his friend. you guys ended the video, as jake drove home. johnnie stayed quiet on the ride home, and you were thinking if you genuinely might've hurt his feelings. even though it was unintentional, you were determined to find out. jake walks back to his room and shuts the door, presumably going to take a long nap. you turn to johnnie, "are you okay? i'm sorry, i was just teasing you if anything." not saying a word, johnnie grabs your hand, tugging you back to your shared room.

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when both of you get inside, he immediately locks the door and pushes you on the bed. "wha-" he puts his hand over your mouth, leaving you unable to speak. "so you wanna embarrass me in front of the camera huh? i really don't get any pussy, right?", he says while pulling down your pants. you moan out, feeling the friction of his hand against your crotch. "look at you, you're already so wet. do you wanna tell them how much of a slut you are for me, or should we just keep that between us?"

johnnie starts rubbing your throbbing heat through your panties, not letting you answer. he attacks your lips with a passionate and lustful kiss. you kiss back, moaning into it and easily giving into his control. he starts marking your jawline with bruises, as he slides a finger into your soaked pussy. he groans, feeling a tent grow inside his pants. "m' please.." you whine, as he forcefully adds another finger, speeding up the pace. he takes off your lacy panties leaving you completely vulnerable. as you feel yourself getting closer, he removes your shirt. you're finally about to cum until he removes his hand, leaving you practically whimpering for more.

"only good girls get to cum, but you've been really naughty, haven't you? now you have to hold it in." "shit, please johnnie," you say, climbing on top of him while taking off his shirt. he unclasps your bra, quickly sucking on one of your breasts, making you arch your back. while he does this, you get yourself situated on top of his crotch. he takes both of his hands as he gropes your butt. being as horny as you are, you start grinding on his hard-on through his jeans. you whine his name as you start having an orgasm on his pants. "i told you to fucking wait. now you're gonna get it rough whether you like it or not." he moves you off of him, taking off his jeans and his boxer briefs. he flips you on your stomach, and pulls you hips up leaving you in a doggy position. johnnie teases you, rubbing his tip on your now sensitive and overstimulated clit. with that, he takes his hand and gives you a harsh smack on your ass, making you groan loudly.

instantly after, he pushes his full length into you, making both of you moan out. you dig your face into the nearest pillow, trying to deafen your sounds. he starts his pace, getting himself adjusted while groaning. "don't do that, i want to hear your slutty, pretty noises." "w- what if jake hears?" you manage to whimper out. he is attacking your pussy at this point, slamming into you. "then he can hear how no one can fuck you as good as i am." he slaps your ass again, and this time you fully release a moan. "mm fuck" he holds your neck, slightly choking you as he pounds into you. both of you are close to your climaxes. "cum on my dick baby." johnnie groans as he starts rubbing his fingers on your clit, helping you release. while shaking, you shudder out and squirt all over his dick. he follows after you, cumming inside you. (you're on birth control)

he takes himself out of you and stands up. you're so dead at this point that he puts on his boxers, and heads to the bathroom. johnnie comes back with a wet hand towel, cleaning you up and puts a new pair of underwear on you. he also holds you while putting one of his t-shirts on you. "thanks baby." you tiredly say, laying back down on the bed. he crawls right next to you and you cuddle up into him. "so... are you gonna stop making the virgin jokes?" you both laugh, soon falling asleep.

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you're eating cereal for breakfast next morning as johnnie is pouring himself a cup of water. a tired jake comes out of his room, the first words out of his mouth being; "okay guys what the fuck was that?" you look at johnnie, obviously embarrassed as he has a smirk plastered all over his face.

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thank you for requesting! i've been sooo so lazy and it was hard to finish this one but i did it to feed you guys xoxo

#johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert x reader smut #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert smut #jake and johnnie #jake webber

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empydoc · 3 days

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if by any divination someone’s first video was fooliverse david i just think it’d be so fucking funny because:

1. they don’t know the weight of ‘i love you too’

2. finding out anton isn’t a werewolf in canon, but a technician who hasn’t seen their partner for GOD knows how long

3. canon david’s behaviour.

#potential spoilers #so #spoilers #redacted spoilers #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #📼.txt #redacted David #redacted anton #redacted fooliverse

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myobsessionsspace · 3 days

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Fun ask: Do you like unconfirmed but possible JiKook thoughts? So JK did GCF-T and used the song There For You - "But you gotta be there for me too" ending line. For 2019 summer, JM on vacation with friends, returned for JKs b'day, etc. JM made a travel vlog for that trip, using the song Come Thru - "Can you come thru?" ending line. (It always stood out to me as an odd choice for a travel vlog.) Soon after, JK began getting the tattoos that included the infamous "J M". Was that JKs answer to JMs question? Aside: the Vlog video concept reminds me of Closer Than This video theme. JMs Vlog -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl3QLdm2uts

Hello Lovely,

Ooohhh you’ve asked THE question. Where do I stand with unconfirmed but possible Jikook thoughts or how I’d probably see it ‘Jikooker Theories’ & ‘Jikooker Delulu’ (said lovingly)?

TL;DR - I’m the worst with this. Honestly my jikooker friends get so frustrated when they delulu and then they’re like…Em?? How about you?? And I’m like…

The main reason I’m so enraptured by Jikook and everything around their bond is because I really don’t need to be into unconfirmed but possible thoughts.

Credit: factkm

You don’t need to squint to spot their unique duo in the midst of anything or anyone else. I don’t even need to put my glasses on to look at them and see that they’re different.

That’s what I like so much about them, they radiate in their actions and words how they feel about each other and how close and unique their bond is, whatever it is it’s closer than close and it’s the two of theirs.

Don’t get me wrong I find it fun delving into Jikook theories. I’m blown away by the intelligent minds that can spot certain connections and patterns. I’m only human too, so I’m a nosy cow. I eat it all up, their off schedule sightings and 1:23 theories etc. I studied psychology and am a lover of love, so of course I’m interested in getting as much information to draw conclusions and all that jazz.

One of many Jikook Icebergs. I love me some Jikook theories but…I above all love Jikook period.

But to me even if all the theories and unconfirmed thoughts of others are stripped away, Jikook give me enough to not need any of that.

It’s a funny balance, taking in others unconfirmed Jikook thoughts. Reading what people say, people thousand of miles away from Jikook, from different upbringings, backgrounds, careers, cultures, ages, genders. People who’ve never met Jikook on a personal level or been apart of Jikook’s inner most circle and not letting it become fact to you, taking their thoughts and opinions as gospel.

Jungkook is me sometimes when trying to get into Jikooker number theories 😩

I love all types of jikooker accounts, art ones, writer ones, historian ones, spicy ones, super investigative ones etc. I’m still figuring out myself how deep into unconfirmed jikooker thoughts I’D share.

I’d love the asks to help me discover what I would be able to answer. **SO ASK AWAY💜** and let’s see how that goes. It’d all be my opinion and my opinion only though.

If it’s not something plainly my opinion, I prefer to stand by everything being backed up by evidence from Jikook and those closest to them, like the members. If it isn’t a verified interview, from original content that can be referenced, from their vlives/weverse lives, sns etc I’m not too keen 😬

Very easily, unconfirmed thoughts can become fact in subsections of fandoms like shipping fandoms, solo fandoms etc. So I like to make sure I can find the first source from when/where/who it started from.

So in conclusion,

I love the fun of it all, the unconfirmed Jikook thoughts, the theories, the sleuthing and delulu.

I do try with my #Tin Foil Hat: Jikook (I’ll tag it so you can take a look if interested) but it’d maybe take asks that make me go for it in more depth?

But ultimately if it’s not from Jikook’s words, their overt and also their not so subtle displays and actions OR if it’s not from those confirmed as closest to them…then to me it’s nothing more than light entertainment that starts and ends there. Nothing that will shape how I view Jikook.

Thank you for you ask!

💜

P.S I think ‘Letter’ is Jimin’s GCF Tokyo/GCF Saipan and ‘Closer Than This’ is the fan song for the collective of BTS fans known as ARMY, cos you know, Jungkook is Jimin’s fan too!

#Jikook #Jimin #Jungkook #Anonymous Asks #Tin Foil Hat: Jikook

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cosmerelists · 19 hours

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Would Cosmere Characters Drive the Speed Limit?

You know, if cars and speed limits existed for them. (Potentially necessary context: I am a USAmerican)

For a different but hilarious take on Stormlight Characters driving, please check out this @saffronique post, which I spent forever looking for because I vaguely remembered someone else doing a driving post and wanted to make sure I hadn't copied them! Anyway it's funny; go read it: https://www.tumblr.com/saffronique/719947907049127936/was-just-struck-by-the-overwhelming-urge-to-rate?source=share

But now for a much more limited question: just, do they go the speed limit?

1. Nale: Yes but also no

As Mr. Beholden-to-All-Laws-of-the-Realm, Nale would of course drive exactly the speed limit! Except that he would also go immediately to the local jurisdiction, get deputized or whatever, and then obtain permission to speed all the time so as to Apprehend Criminals. So he'd actually be almost exclusively speeding but, like, legally.

2. Vivenna: Only at first

Vivenna does drive the speed limit when she first gets her license, because she wants to Follow the Law and be a Good Example for Siri. But, like, everyone is always so mad, and eventually she starts going just like 5 miles over the speed limit, which isn't even breaking the law, really. It's going with traffic! And then maybe 10 miles over, just occasionally 15 but only on a highway when it's safe!

3. Siri: No

Like, going a bit faster is not a big deal, especially if all the other cars are doing the same thing. It's actually safer to go with the flow of traffic!

4. Elend: Depends on who's in the car

Elend drives moderately above the speed limit like most people except if his dad is in the car and then he drives under the speed limit just to piss him off.

5. Vin: No

Vroom, vroom to be honest. Vin doesn't do things slow.

6. Dalinar: Yes

As a young man, Dalinar's speed demon ways led to the deaths of many people. So now he does drive the speed limit and insists that his sons do as well, whether they're in company cars or not.

7. Kelsier: No

Kelsier? Follow a law? I don't think so. He taught Vin to drive, you know.

8. Adolin: Not anymore

When his dad was really into Car Laws, Adolin did drive the speed limit per his dad's instructions. But he's since loosened up a bit. He figures he needs to find his own way to drive!

9. Shallan: No

Shallan drives the speed she needs to drive. Veil definitely drives the fastest, and Radiant is most likely to follow the speed limit. But on average...not so much.

10. Navani: No

Adolin can still remember being in the car with his aunt for the first time and being SHOCKED that she speeds. (In my head this is related to Adolin being shocked when he sees Navani wearing a glove rather than a full sleeve. This may not make sense to anyone else but it feels right to me).

11. Moash: No

Moash always wants to get to his destination as fast as possible. Also I just can't imagine him trying to follow the speed limit.

12. Wax: Depends on the geographic location

Wax drives the speed limit in the Roughs but not in Polite Society (except in dense urban areas where he wishes to avoid, like, killing children).

13. Wayne: Does not have his driver's license

I feel this in my soul.

14. Lirin: Yes

I think Lirin would argue that "getting to your destination thirty seconds faster is no reason to speed and put everyone else on the road in danger! Drive safe - arrive safe! That's what matters!" And then he would go exactly one mile under the speed limit at all times while everyone behind him honks.

15. Kaladin: No

Kaladin spends three months driving very slowly after his dad shows him videos of horrific car crashes but eventually he just can't do it. He NEEDS to get there faster! People are DEPENDING on him! And he likes to feel the WIND in his HAIR as he cruises down the open highway!

(Kaladin and his dad cannot drive together.)

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Nale #Vivenna #Siri #Elend #Vin #Dalinar #Kelsier #Kaladin #Lirin #Adolin #Wayne #Wax #Moash #Navani

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load-theloading-artist · 1 day

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*Kicks Down Door*

it's me, ya boi, Load.

And I have some things to say.

But i want to mention @-thevyladsafespace for their post;

^^^ this one ^^^

Where they asked what the inspiration(s) was for the boys' outfits. Having a few guesses of their outfits being inspired by chinese/japanese fashion or dnd/generic fantasy style of fashion.

And, in my opinion, yes!

But... also no.

Lemme explain, But first;

I want to talk about their Daemos outfits. And my thoughts/opinions on the...

Starting with their Daemos Outfits;

And starting with

Noi;

who i actually i think his outfit fits Japanese Inspiration the most!

(Before i explain, i want to say i am not from japan or have visited, nor am i an expert, but i have watched MANY videos about japanese culture from LetsaskShogo on youtube! I highly recommend checking him out. He goes into everything about japan, its history, its culture, its fashion, Noh thearte, tea ceremonies, everything!) (Japanese culture is a special interest of mine, ahah)

His left side of his shirt is over his right side, which japanese traditional kimono style of clothing MUST have! (Wearing the left over right is a MUST in their culture, for only the dead or non-living wear the RIGHT side over the LEFT. It therefore symbolizes death.)

The closest reference for his shirt i can find rn is this one; (which if i remember right are called dogi!)

Additionally,

Useing this image as reference;

His pants are very similar to a style/type of Hakama pants (unfortunately, i have forgotten the name of them. I think a name for them was Karusan, but i may be wrong!!)

Image reference of the pants im talking about;

(They were worn by 'samurai' or otherwise japanese soldiers as a better alternative to hakama due to the pants better ease of movement and more suitability armor.)

Other than that though, he doesn't wear anything else that is SIMILAR to traditional japanese fashion.

Onto my opinions and thoughts about his design;

I love Noi's design the most. He is the most well designed out of the boys'. If i were to change his design, i would keep most of it.

He's an 8/10 for me.

Deducted points because WHY? WHY WITH HIS ARM. Omg. no... No. No!! his design literally would've been perfectly okay IF HIS ARM. WASNT-

give him his sleeve back pls... why was it taken away? What crimes did it commit?? Was color contrast against the armor wanted so badly ThEy TOOK AWAY HIS SLEEVE?? That's worse!! That's worse than just leaving his sleeve alone 😭😭😭

In fact, it would look BETTER if the sleeve was kept unyoinked!!

I apologize for how harsh i may sound. But i can't. I just can't.

Moving onto

Pierce;

My second favorite character~

I believe he is the second closest to having most Japanese inspiration.

With his utterly blue coat, that is the main point of interest in his design... that does look a lot like a kimono.

But i sure hope it isn't because the way he's wearing it makes me want to go

"DISHONER ON YOU!! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!"

- (mulan/mushu reference)

And that what he SHOULD be wearing would be similar to a Haori-jacket

Which what it looks like;

(The Haori is a traditional japanese hip or thigh length jacket that is typically worn over a kimono.)

His coat is, however, a Kimono's length. (Maybe even a little longer, actually, kimonos typically only reach the ankles. But the way he wears whatever he wears, could make it look longer than it should be or is.)

Additionally his sleeves and;

The absolute abomination his outfits back is. What the genuine *🐬 noise* happened.

The way his the back of the outfit is, it means that if he wears the unworn sleeve, the back will be SO DROOPED!! It would not be funny or sexy 😔

Here is a reference for how a kimono (though with longer/larger sleeves) with one sleeve not being worn would look;

(i am so sorry, but idk who the artist is and can not find them. Googling bee-com led to (i think) a bitcoin website, and katahada nugi was just for information for samurai armor.) (If anyone knows it would be very appreciated!)

*sigh*

Moving onto my thoughts and opinions on Pierce's design;

Pierce's deisgn is... rather simple. Other than the pattern on his pants.

... tbh i dont really know what else to say. It's simple, basic, the coat, arm-brace, and patten on his pants are the only points of interest in his design. (Other than his tattoo but we'll talk about it later.)

I'd rate him 3/10.

There's... Something. Theres a something... But it's not executed well (or at all) in his design. His (disaster of a coat that deducted points) coat and that something, is his saving grace of a few points.

And i WANT TO CONTINUE THIS in the same post and I PROMISE YOU, i am going somewhere i do i do i just,

In order to continue i NEED the photo space, what do i mean? i mean THERES A PHOTO LIMIT OF 10 ON POSTS!!! TUMBLR WHY 10??? 10??? 10 PHOTOS ONLY???

***insert image of a depressed man bent over in a blue school chair meme***

But i hope you stay tuned and to see you in part 2!! (And most likely part 3... oh boy. Im so sorry)

Again, i promise im going somewhere with this i just need time to cook and get the foundations down first. AND THE PHOTO SPAc-

#my inner demons aphmau #aphmau my inner demons #shush load #my inner demons #Google: How to fight Tumblrs post image limit #*sobs*#see you in part 2 and im so sorry #theres alot of things i haven't mentioned that I'll mention in part 2!! i promise.#if there seems to be missing piunts about these two designed i didn't mention its because im waiting til i talk about all 5 of the Boys #daemos outfits #give me time to cook plsplsplsplspls

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