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quarkcore · 3 years

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ok i have an incredibly lukewarm take on pan discourse and its that its unnecessarily painful to everyone i see involved and often based on presumption of universal definitions wrt labels which do not exist. like imagine person 1, is part of LGBT community A. where they are, most bi people do not include trans/nonbinary people in who they are attracted to (or at least not *all* trans/nonbinary people). instead, the label pan is typically used for that. so they realise that theyre actually pan. but then person 2 who is in lgbt community B, where bi is typically assumed to include attraction to all genders, sees this and is hurt bc it implies that bisexuality excludes certain groups. both of these ppl are using those labels in a way that makes sense. in the place they are in, it communicates what needs to be communicated.

it would be fucking great if bisexuality didnt ever mean “only attracted to cis ppl”, but i KNOW that in some places, most ppl would not consider dating trans ppl and trans women especially. like i have heard it from the source. and even if its shit that that situation even exists, it makes sense that ppl would make words to make who theyre attracted to super clear. now theres a whole series of convos u can have abt that and the impact it can have. but its going to happen until attraction to trans people (and not just as a fetish!) is mainstream. i promise you that. the other side of that is that of course, a lot of pan ppl will make generalising statements based upon their own experience of what bi and pan have meant, which may not apply elsewhere/to other ppl. and thats deeply hurtful to say the least, esp when bi ppl as a community are so often misunderstood and stereotyped.

but i think the only way to resolve this rn is to stop presuming that what bi or pan means to you is what it must mean everywhere. once we do that we can stop trying to insist that being part of a certain group means you hold certain values etc, and instead we can focus on the important matters at hand: fighting for the rights of lgbt ppl and esp in this case trans ppl and everyone whos attracted to multiple genders. we can ask ppl to think abt what it means to be attracted to a certain gender. we can ask what preconceptions ppl have abt what a trans person looks like, what a trans person acts like, and what a relationship with a trans person would look like. we can talk abt the idea that ‘trans woman’ and ‘cis woman’ (for example) are different genders and its implications, both in terms of relationships, and in terms of the way trans ppl are treated in society more generally. bc i think that those are the questions that sit at the heart of the whole pan discourse thing and they get left unaddressed bc we get caught up on labels instead.

also leaving that aside like... i think theres legitimate things that pan might mean outside of bi (clearly including trans ppl). like it can mean sexuality without gender preference, as opposed to bi, which can mean attraction to multiple genders, with a preference. it can mean more generally that things like gender and gender presentation dont affect the way you feel attraction. and a lot of this is splitting hairs i know but like if ppl find meaning in those things, they will use the label. and if they dont, theyll stop and itll fizzle out. clearly the label pan is doing something important for a lot of ppl and communicating something bi does not for them.

(disclaimer: i identify as neither bi nor pan and therefore actually dont have a horse in this race and may be talking out of my ass. thats for u to decide. also like im not overly attached to this viewpoint its just what im settled on rn after having seen this whole argument play out like 20 times over.)

#this is like non discourse discourse really like #im not overly invested bc i just dont think its a worthwhile fight #and im v live and let live on labels

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alright--okay · 3 years

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you ever been to a basement show? pt. 1

tsukishima kei x reader

summary: Tsukishima sees you everywhere, and for a big school thats weird. And it’s not like he’s gonna do anything, that’d be even weirder, but one day in your shared lecture he sees you wearing a shirt with some small band’s name. A band he know. And well, now he has to know who you are.

word count: ~1.5 k

a/n: this is college au where Tsukki is basically into really indie/alt music and so are you so you guys start as like concert buddies/friends and grow as more. I started this a while ago and have been posting to ao3 but I’m trying to find motivation to write more so imma start posting to tumblr lol hope anyone reading enjoys <3

read on ao3!

pt. 1 Polite Company - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Tsukishima saw you everywhere, it didn’t make any sense. If the University of Tokyo was so big, why was he seeing the same girl all around campus?

Particularly in his one stupid archeology elective. The class was a joke compared to everything else he was taking but it gave him a break from his other more intense courses and he wasn’t about to refuse the opportunity to slack off. You were not only in the large lecture portion of the class but also in his recitation, meaning he saw you three times a week, not including the glances he caught of you just from walking around.

And he wasn’t stalking you (he swears), it’s just that you were … everywhere. Sitting in the last row of the lecture hall (just a few seats to the right of him), waiting for the TA outside the classroom for recitation (usually on your phone), or doing work in the student center as he passed through (always with your headphones on, always).

He had no clue who you were. You most probably weren’t an archeology major like himself, he would have seen you in the intro classes or any of the higher-level courses. Yeah, Tokyo was big but he could at least recognize some other people in the major, and he had never seen you in the three years he had been attending the University of Tokyo. Or at least didn’t notice you before, but that also seemed unlikely.

Today was no different. The lecture portion of the course was a little too early for anyone’s liking, so Tsukishima went to take his usual seat in the back row, ready to half pay attention, half play on his phone. You were already there, headphones atop your head as you continued to look at your phone, the faint sound of music escaped the padding by your ears but it was too muffled to make out an actual beat.

Tsukishima said a quick “excuse me” as he moved to step over your legs and bag on the ground. You remained quiet, giving a polite smile as you tucked your legs in, attempting to give him more room to pass. That’s when he caught sight of your sweatshirt. Normally he paid no mind to what you, let alone anyone, was wearing but the bubbled blue outline of the word “Forests” gave him pause. That was a band. That was a small band. How the fuck were you aware of their presence.

Tsukishima quickly made his way past you as he realized he really shouldn’t be staring at your chest (even if it was just to read your sweatshirt, he swears). He tried to nonchalantly maneuver his way into one of the old lecture hall seats a few down from yours before quickly pulling out his phone.

No way is it the same Forests, he thought as he brought up the band’s website and quickly scrolling through there merch.

Starring back at him was the same fucking sweatshirt. That meant you knew this band, this tiny band. He was so used to being alone in his music taste. Akiteru only listened to what was on the radio and Yamaguchi entertained Tsukishima when he went on rants about music and bands, but he didn’t really listen to any of it. Tsukishima had come to accept that his music-listening experience was mostly gonna be reserved for laying in his bed alone, staring at the ceiling, and absorbing the lyrics. This was fine, he could still enjoy the music just fine. But … you knew some of his music.

~~~

Tsukishima tried to ignore the thoughts of you. He didn’t know you, you were a random person who just so happened to maybe, possibly listen to the same type of music as him. Who cares?

It was a little later in the week and Tsukishima was making his way to the recitation for this stupid elective. The TA, as usual, was late so Tsukishima made his way over to the wall to wait, his own pair of headphones supplying a flow of music.

When you made an appearance from around the corner, Tsukishima couldn’t help the extra attention he paid to your clothing. And god fucking damn it. That was a Mom Jeans shirt. There was someone who listened to the same music as him. Or at least similar. But that was enough for Tsukishima to decide he wanted to talk to you.

To yama:

i have a situation

From yama:

oh ?? care to elaborate ?

Tsukishima paused. This was weird, wasn’t it? He had never interacted with you besides the time he had to move past you to get to his seat. And the lecture was huge. Nobody talked to each other unless you were already friends or were in desperate need of notes. Tsukishima was in neither of those situations.

To yama:

okay so theres this girl and before you say anything no im not trying to ask her out but she was wearing a shirt for a band i listen to

From yama:

that you listen to? not to say youre some hipster indie boy…. but you tend to listen to v obscure music

To yama:

yea i know that thats why im kinda freaking out like do i say something?? and if i do say something what would i even say

From yama:

go for it !! if shes anything like you she probably doesnt get to talk about music much either so just bring up her shirt or something itll be fine tsukki

To yama:

yea ill think about it

Tsukishima put his phone away as someone held the door open for him. Apparently the TA arrived sometime while he was texting Yamaguchi so he quickly made his way into the classroom, taking a seat a few rows behind you.

He would talk to you.

Just not today.

~~~

After the recitation the day before, you had pushed your headphones back onto your ears as soon as the TA was finished and made your way out of the room, his eyes following as you did so. Tsukishima had gone back to his apartment only to be further interrogated by Yamaguchi. What band? There were multiple bands? Did he know you? What class was this again? Are you cute? That’s where Tsukishima cut him off, moving into his room to attempt some work.

It was now Thursday morning, meaning it was time for the second half of the lecture. He was gonna do it. Tsukishima was going to talk to you.

He walked into the lecture hall, you again were already sitting in your seat at the back. Tsukishima (calmly, obviously he was calm) walked over to your seat and sat beside you.

~~~~~~

Who the fuck was this guy?

Yeah, you had seen him around, but he never talked to you, or anyone else in the class for that matter. And yet here he was, sitting next to you and gesturing for you to take off your headphones.

“Can I help you?” you said, complying by slipping the headphones around your neck.

He took a small, almost hesitant pause, “I noticed your shirt the other day, you listen to Forests?”

Your eyes grew slightly wider, “You know who they are?”

“Um, yeah and I’m not used to people listening to the same music as me so I thought I’d … I don’t know … say hi? Introduce myself?”

“Well, you haven’t done a very good job on that plan so far,” you paused to give him a small smile, “just saying.”

Tsukishima gave you a smirk of his own, “Hi,” he emphasized, making you smile wider, “I’m Tsukishima Kei. And you are?”

“l/n y/n,” you replied, smile still in place. “So you listen to Forests. Anyone else I might know?”

Tsukishima paused for a moment, and you knew exactly what he was thinking. Bands you listened to every day were not necessarily what everyone else listened to (which let’s be real, understandable), so replying to a question like this meant either replying with more popular bands people had likely heard of or going full-on obscure and have the person stare at you in confusion. But after a moment, Tsukishima responded with his own small list.

“I know a couple of them actually,” you saw his mouth give a small uptick, probably not used to that response, “what-” The two of you were interrupted by the professor being the lecture, but you quickly turned back to the boy at your side, now in a quieter voice you asked, “what were the names of the other bands? I’ll look them up.”

Tsukishima slowly listed them off again as you typed them into your phone, excited to see what this random guy in your lecture listened to.

Time passed slowly as you and Tsukishima put your attention back to the material at hand, but as the class came to the end and the two of you were packing up your things, your mind drifted to the coming weekend.

Yeah, you just met the guy, but it couldn’t hurt to ask. He seemed kinda nice after all, and he’d probably be into it.

“Hey Tsukishima,” you called to get his attention, “you ever been to a basement show?”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukki x reader

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ijustwannawritesomeshitok · 5 years

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More than fine (Ben Hardy x Reader)

Summary: Just a small lil blurb with Ben after you got into a small accident and hurting your hand/fingers and leg (we love specifics in writing bc it actually happened to the writer)

A/N: I got in a small accident a little over a week ago, which led me to having severely bruised fingers, and only being able to slightly use my middle finger (nice) as long as it wasn’t putting pressure on the other fingers. And I also got this MASSIVE bruise on my leg, which hurts while walking, so yes, absolutely wonderful (I also couldn’t lay on my left side for a few days and it was the absolute WORST because it’s my preferred sleeping side, but oh well). ANYWAY, I just wanted someone to love me and cut my food for me BC EVERYTHING HURT ok that’s all my friends

ALSO, as you can see, I LIKE DIALOGE

A/N 2: the format keeps fucking up bc i write it in word??? and idk why it does it but uGh

Length: 522 words

Warnings: me actually being in pain while writing this but u gotta do what u gotta do

“Wait, stop. Babe, I can help you with that.”

“No Ben, it’s fine, I can do it myself.”

“Stop being so stubborn and just let me take care of you.” His voice sounds calm, yet firm.

“Ugh, fine.” You take a step back and hand the knife to Ben. Even something as simple as cutting your own sandwich is no longer that simple with a severely bruised hand. Lucky enough it wasn’t your dominant hand that got injured, so you’re still able to do most one-handed things.

“Here you go,” Ben smiles as he hands you your plate.

“Thank you.” You sit down at the kitchen table and finally take a bite out of your well-deserved-sandwich.

“I’m gonna do everything for you today, okay?”

“Everything?” You say whilst lifting your eyebrows.

“Yes,” he says confidently.

“Hmmm, I think I’d rather go to the toilet by myself.”

“Oh fuck off. You know what I meant.”

“No I don’t, maybe you should explain.” You grin.

“I don’t have to explain,” he says, standing up. “I can just show you.” With a swift motion Ben picks you up from the kitchen chair and walks to the living room where he sits himself down on the couch, with you on his lap.

“Are you just gonna carry me everywhere?”

“Like you mind.”

“Not at all,” you softly smile. “I just don’t understand how you do it. I already struggle to carry a bag of potatoes from the car to our apartment.”

“Yeah well, you’re just a bit, how do I say this?” He puts his fingers on his chin to pretend to think. “Weak.”

A fake gasp leaves your lips. “I can’t believe you actually said that.”

“What can I say? I’m just brutally honest.”

“No,” you point at him. “You’re just brutal.”

Not much later you stand up, exchanging his warm body for the cold air that softly blows through your apartment.

“Hey, don’t leave me.” His hands grab your upper leg to pull you back, but all you can do is wince in pain. A look of shock forms on his face. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you brush him off. “Don’t worry about it. Just a little bruise.”

A few seconds pass before he speaks again. “Show me your leg.”

You look at him to see if he’s joking, but his face shows only seriousness. Carefully you pull down your pyjama bottoms, revealing a dark purple bruise. You see him looking concerned at your leg, exactly why you didn’t say anything about it in the first place.

“Babe,” his voice sounds soft. “That’s not just a little bruise. That shit is bigger than my shoe.”

“Well, maybe you just have very small feet.” You smile lightly, but he doesn’t.

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“It looks really bad.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But it’ll be fine.”

He just nods, still looking at your leg. “Now if you excuse me,” you pull your pyjama bottoms back up. “I’m gonna pee.”

“Babe?”

You turn your head, already half in the hallway. “Yes?”

“Besides going to the toilet, I really am going to do everything for you this week.”

You smile. “I thought you said just today?”

“Yes, but no. It’s a week now.”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“More than fine,” you grin at him.

#ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody x reader #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen x reader #original writing #ben hardy! roger taylor #ben hardy!roger x reader #ben hardy! roger taylor imagine

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bethmannviscom · 3 years

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Case study 1

Wishes to be kept anonymous (k)

▪️How was the diagnosis process for you? Did it take long and did you get much information/support from the doctors?

- My orginal doctor was lovely, he first diagnosed me with M.E after finding out I had glandular fever from a blood test (when I had the GF I was diagnosed with a chest infection over the phone due to swine flu)

I was then refered to a Rhumatologist who diagnosed Fibromyalgia. Sadly though that was the only appt I had with a Rhumatologist and was discharged after the diagnosis.

▪️Were family and friends supportive/recognise what you were going through?

My parents, especially my mum were very supportive. My brother always tried to be nice when he lived at home but he never got it, I dont think my grandparents or auntie get it either.

I lost alot of friends when I got diagnosed, I think alot of it was due to me cancelling plans, not replying to messages ect. I now only have a handful of friends, Beccie being one and they fully support me which is really lovely.

▪️Could you describe your symptoms/what it feels like to have fibro?

Fibro is painful, I get pain everywhere. Legs, back ect all the places you expect but then Ive also been in so much pain my fingernails hurt, my hair hurt to brush. On top of the pain I get brainfog, I forget simple words, simple instructions, names, faces. My anxiety has esculated since getting diagnosed, Im now on alot of medication for my anxiety. I also developed depression since my diagnosis because its such a lonely illness with no answers or help after the orginal diagnosis.

▪️How does fibro effect your daily life?

Depending on what sort of day im having fibro can affect allsorts. Some days I cant even get out of bed. Other days all I can manage is a bath but even then my mum has to wash my hair, help me get dressed after. I can hardly write anymore as my wrists are so painful when I do. I still try to do craft bits, puzzles ect but I can only do it for a short while because of the pain I get in my back.

When I first got diagnosed, my mum had to cut my food up for me and I had to use plastic cutlery.

I do try to go for atleast a couple of small walks a week. I love being out it nature and enjoy taking photos which helps me.

▪️Has fibro effected the workplace for you, we’re they understanding?

I was struggling at work as I worked in a pre-school. I didn't have one day off sick and I was going in and doing my job to the best of my ability then coming home and sleeping feom when I got in till when it was time to get up. I had no social/family life. I then got my diagnosis of M.E, told them on the friday and they fired me on the monday. I then tried a nannying job 18 months later which was meant to be an hour in the morning and 2 hours after school but they were expecting much more from me and I couldnt say how Id be from one day to the next so that only lasted a month and I haven't worked since.

▪️Do think fibro is recognised enough socially?

No fibro isnt recognised at all socially. I always get asked to explain my condition or if I explain how it causes me to sleep alot or how I get pains ect I get replies like 'I must have that' or 'surely the pains are just because youre getting older'

▪️Do you feel like enough awareness is made around the condition?

No there is no awareness. I get very angry with the 'long covid' as its basically fibro but they wont call it that. I still feel alot of doctors dont understand it, I was told by a respiratory doctor the fibro was in my head.

On the other hand I find alot of doctors put everything under the fibro umberella. Ive been having knee pain for over a year, it feels different to my fibro pain but they wont xray it because according to them its my fibromyalgia. This always makes me worry that Ill have something serious and itll be dismissed as fibromyalgia.

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adambstingus · 5 years

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Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182227933232

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allofbeercom · 5 years