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webshooterrr9 · 4 months

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Take Care

Act Two Astarion x gn!reader

just fluff and angst if you squint, no smut

Sigh. "You don't have to do this, darling. I'm not some sort of child in need of coddling."

Despite his standoffish tone, Astarion makes no attempt to move away as you tend to the cuts on his arm. It had been a long day of adventuring, and your party most unfortunately ran into a horde of goblins on your way back to camp for the knight. Being stronger after a recent feed, Astarion fought most of them - giving him the most injuries.

You're being far too gentle. He watches closely in the dim lantern light as you wet the rag for cleaning. A part of him wishes you'd just hurt him instead. He knows how to deal with pain. He doesn't know how to deal with this.

Whatever this is, his mind tells him it needs to stop. Stop before he starts to care. He doesn't want to care about you. If he does, you'll be another thing for Cazador to use against him when the time comes.

He can't have that.

"Oh, shut up." you wave a dismissive hand before resuming your cleaning, gently wiping away the dirt and grime from his wounds. You sat comfortably in his lap as you worked. Another form of intimacy he was unsure about.

"I've received worse and lived, love. I'll be alright without your babying."

He would never admit it, but Astarion almost... enjoyed the way you so carefully tended to him. But it felt wrong. Why would you do this? It wasn't like his life was on the line, the goblins only inflicted minor injuries.

"I know you have, I've seen the poem that... he carved into your back. You showed me, remember?"

Astarion winces at the memory, and you feel sort of bad for bringing it up. But he just rolls his eyes, covering up the discomfort with a scoff.

That wretched devil. That evil, evil man.

"We're still travel companions, so I want to help you. Regardless of how minor it is." you continue, speaking slowly as you bandage up the cuts.

"Because I'm incapable?" there's a bite to his voice, one that he didn't mean to be there. But he couldn't help it. This was so... odd. "I managed to take care of myself just fine before you came along."

You look up at him, almost with a glare at his accusation. "I never said you were incapable, 'Starion. But you have to let others help you once in a while."

Gods, he hated it. He hated how caring you were, how sweetly you spoke to him, even when he was rude. How fondly you pictured him in your mind, even when he had done nothing but manipulate you so far.

How could you he so naive? He was obviously using you. And yet, you seemed to care about him, which pissed him off more.

He doesn't deserve someone as tender as you. As kind and caring.

Astarions grits his teeth as he speaks. "I don't have to let you do anything. I don't deserve that."

Why did he say that? How stupid of him so seem so vulnerable around you. And why does he want to curl up against you and let it all out? Why does he want you to wrap him up in your arms and whisper into his hair and tell him everything is going to be okay?

What is wrong with him?

You wrap up his cut tightly, giving him a glare. "You're wrong." you replied, short and direct. Your stare made it clear that this wasn't up for debate.

"You deserve just as much as everyone else. If not more, given what you've been through."

Astarion glares right back. If there was one thing he could do, it was argue. "You know nothing about me. I barely even told you half of it."

You don't know why he has to be so stubborn about this. Maybe it's his nature. Or maybe he's just too much of a coward to admit that he's actually starting to develop feelings for you. Astarion doesn't know which.

"I'm objectively the worst person on this team. You should be helping the others. Lae'zel got all scratched up too, you know."

"They've got each other." you argue back, just as stubborn as the elf. "But you, you've closed yourself off from everyone. Shut them out."

"If I don't take care of you, no one will. The Hells know that you wouldn't take care of yourself, either. You're too self-loathing for that."

When the hell did you become so perceptive? How in the world did you come to that conclusion? He wasn't self hating, he was just telling the truth. He was awful, evil. He knew it to be true.

...

Shit. Maybe you were right.

"Fine. Maybe your words have some truth in them." he sighs, not daring to look you in the eyes as he admits it. "You're right. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Damn it. Now he wants to hug you. The feeling he's been trying to avoid the entire time is bubbling up, threatening to engulf him.

Does it make him weak to want to be coddled and comforted by you? Would it make him just as pathetic as he was under Cazador's thumb? Would allowing himself this pampering, this affection, be nothing more than something to regret?

"I'm always right." you scoff. "You'd have picked up on that by now if you weren't so aloof."

You slide off of his lap once you're done bandaging, giving him some space. But you don't leave his tent.

You stay there, sitting in front of him, as a silent show of solidarity. "I'm not going anywhere. No matter how much you try to push me away."

The urge to pull you close and never let you go is overwhelming him. Astarion's not sure if he can trust himself to resist it.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks quietly, lowering his head a bit shamefully. "Why are you so insistent on helping me? I'm not worth it."

"Because you are worth it. And I won't stop until you believe it."

"I will not allow you to fall into tragedy when you can be so much more than that. I've seen your potential - on the battlefield and in camp. I refuse to let you waste your life in solitude."

Astarion wants to believe you. Desperately.

The evidence is staring him right in the face: the way that you care for him, how he feels secure in your presence.

But if he believes you, he can't hide any longer. He can't seek shelter behind the walls he's carefully erected within himself. And he can't shield himself from the vulnerability of admitting that he needs you. So instead he just says:

"Shut up."

You sigh. No matter how much you try to break him down, he stays persistent. "Fine."

"I'll stop talking, but you'd be a fool if you think I'm leaving."

He scoffs. "So what, you're just going to sit there and watch me all night?"

"If that's all you'll allow me, yes."

Allow. Such a sacred, unheard word to him.

Astarion didn't even have a response to that. In the end, he didn't have enough energy to make a snarky counter. And before he can form a coherent sentence and protest, his body makes a decision for him.

The elf slumps forward and places his head in your lap, curling up in a way that resembles a kitten. A stray seeking shelter.

Despite his efforts of stubborness, he closes his eyes and lets his body go slack.

He wants this.

You're relieved. For a moment, you sit still, not wanting to scare him away with any sudden movements. He needed this peace, and you wouldn't dare take it from him.

Slowly, you start to rake your fingers through his curls. Slowly, gently. Like a mother comforting her child.

He needs it. More than ever.

When you begin to run your fingers through his hair, it's like all his defenses dissolve away. Astarion lets out a quiet hum of contentment and presses his head further into your warmth, making himself as comfortable as possible in this precious moment.

Time seems to slow down as you sit there. There's no need for words. After so long of being taken and abused by his master, Astarion finds himself oddly calm. Safe.

It's strange to feel this comfortable. Even now he should have to urge to try and escape your touch, but he's not feeling those impulses.

He takes a deep breath and relaxes into your touch. The tension and discomfort that seemed to define his existence is melting away. For the first time in centuries, he feels he's where he belongs.

As you continue to pet his hair, you hear a quiet whisper come from your companion.

"Thank you."

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #fluff #bg3 #my baby deserves the world omg #i love him #webshooterrr9

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thrumbolt · 6 months

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Top 5 most annoying Tamlin scene misinterpretations

1. ''There is no such thing as a high lady'' I hate this one, because it is always taken as some sort of proof that Tamlin is a raging misogynist who doesn't want an equal woman by his side or some similar type of nonsense. I don't know where this is coming from. Tamlin never wanted to be a high lord. He would probably welcome for someone to take over most of the work so he could just keep running through the woods. He also has absolutely no issues with taking advice from women in power (Ianthe? Hello??). His first reaction to the high lady question is literally this:

“Is everyone just going to call me ‘Tamlin’s wife’? Do I get a … title?” He lifted his head long enough to look at me. “Do you want a title?”

And let's not forget that Feyre's first reply is ''No, I don’t know if I can handle them calling me High Lady”. To which he then answers that she doesn't have to worry about that, since ''there is no such thing as a high lady'' because the magic choses the title and it keeps chosing males. Also this whole scene happens while he eats her out. Not that it's relevant or anything, just saying...

2. ''Tamlin killed Rhys' family'' No. Tamlin's dad killed Rhys' family. I have no idea how Tamlin doing it is ever the takeaway from that whole story. Let's just quote the actual scene:

“Tamlin’s father, brothers, and Tamlin himself set out into the Illyrian wilderness, having heard from Tamlin—from me—where my mother and sister would be, that I had plans to see them. I was supposed to be there. I wasn’t. And they slaughtered my mother and sister anyway.”

Yeah okay, Tamlin gave the information (supposedly) and was there (supposedly) sure, but it's highly unlikely that he was so willingly. Let's not forget that it's established that Tamlin was afraid of his father, that Tamlin's father is worse than Beron (who, I might remind you, tortures his sons) and that Tamlin was friends with Rhys at the time - which neither family approved of. Even Rhys doesn't actually believe Tamlin did anything besides being spineless:

''I didn’t care that Tamlin had been there, had allowed them to kill my mother and sister, that he’d come to kill me because he didn’t want to risk standing against them.''

In the end we don't know the details. Tamlin could've been tortured and tied up or whatever. Making him watch could've been a cruel form of punishment for being friends with Rhys. We don't really know until SJM graces us with Tamlin's side of the story.

3. ''It's really Tamlin's own fault that the spring court fell'' Alternatively also phrased as: 'Feyre just opened everyone's eyes to Tamlin's incompetence' and....honestly? This low key makes me question the reading comprehension of people.

Yes, Tamlin made a deal with Hybern, which was extremely risky, but the war was coming regardless (as we learn from Rhys in the first half of ACOMAF) and the spring court would be the main target because of its location next to the wall. Inviting Hybern into his lands in a trade is actually a pretty smart way to avoid a lot of death on Tamlin's part - plus he needed help to rescue Feyre and get her out of the deal she had with Rhysand (people forget that Tamlin didn't know Feyre didn't actually need rescuing from the guy that was abusing her in front of him in ACOTAR).

So yeah anyway, Feyre did several things to make the spring court fall: 1. She manipulated the solstice ceremony to make herself seem cauldron-blessed in the eyes of the people, 2. She made a sentry accuse Ianthe (who WAS doing sneaky shit) which essentially did nothing except putting Tamlin on the spot in front of Hybern, so he was kind of forced to throw the sentry under the bus. Good job Feyre, you got a poor sod whipped! But it also built resentment within the soldiers, which was her plan all along and 3. before leaving, she did this (let's just quote the whole thing):

''I had a people who had lost faith in their High Priestess. I had sentries who were beginning to rebel against their High Lord. And as a result of those things, I had Hybern royals doubting the strength of their allies here. I’d primed this court to fall. Not from outside forces—but its own internal warring. And I had to be clear of it before it happened. Before the last sliver of my plan fell into place. The party would return without me. And to maintain that illusion of strength, Tamlin and Ianthe would lie about it—where I’d gone. And perhaps a day or two after that, one of these sentries would reveal the news, a carefully sprung trap that I’d coiled into his mind like one of my snares. I’d fled for my life—after being nearly killed by the Hybern prince and princess. I’d planted images in his head of my brutalized body, the markings consistent with what Dagdan and Brannagh had already revealed to be their style. He’d describe them in detail—describe how he helped me get away before it was too late. How I ran for my life when Tamlin and Ianthe refused to intervene, to risk their alliance with Hybern. And when the sentry revealed the truth, no longer able to stomach keeping quiet when he saw how my sorry fate was concealed by Tamlin and Ianthe, just as Tamlin had sided with Ianthe the day he’d flogged that sentry …When he described what Hybern had done to me, their Cursebreaker, their newly anointed Cauldron-blessed, before I’d fled for my life … There would be no further alliance. For there would be no sentry or denizen of this court who would stand with Tamlin or Ianthe after this. After me.''

So, the sentries left Tamlin because of a lie. A fake story. Without sentries, Hybern decided to take over rather than just be guests and had a prime spot to attack the summer court in turn. Which is also why Tarquin is extremely pissed at Feyre - not Tamlin. So no, Tamlin wasn't a bad high lord. His only real mistake was ever trusting Feyre.

Sure, some argue that Feyre thought Tamlin genuinely sided with Hybern and might be a threat to the rest of Prythian, so taking him down would make sense for her even outside of petty revenge. But there's just one problem with that: Feyre is a mind reader. She could have just.....checked. lol

4. ''Tamlin didn't do anything Under the Mountain'' This one really gets my goat because it's not really true? Things Tamlin did to help Feyre: 1. He sent her away to the human realm. (People forget this, but he basically doomed his court to protect her ass - it's not his fault she came back!) 2. He made Lucien check up on her. (Yes Lucien was Feyre's friend but he still acted under Tamlin's orders!) 3. He ignored Feyre as to not rile Amarantha up even more (Come on, have you seen Amarantha? It totally makes sense) 4. He tries to get to Feyre, begging Amarantha to stop even as he is tied up, bleeding out from a stab wound to his chest that he can't heal because he has no powers - like what do you want him to do??? 4. He literally kills Amarantha the second he is able to

Also personal conspiracy detour: That music that Rhysand supposedly sent to Feyre was SO originally supposed to be Tamlin, you can't convince me otherwise. I will never not believe that this wasn't just a lazily done quick change when SJM rewrote book 1 and 2 to account for the boyfriend switcheroo. Attributing the music to Rhys makes absolutely zero sense. He's not a musical boy at all, come on! Music themes never come up with him again either! Meanwhile Tamlin played for Feyre before, is generally a musical guy COME ON! /conspiracy detour over

5. ''It's Tamlin's fault that Nesta and Elaine got turned to fae'' No. No it's not. He knew nothing about this. Ianthe did this on her own accord because Feyre told her where her sister's lived. Tamlin actually attacks (!) the King of Hybern over it (to no avail, but still).

Some people blame Tamlin for keeping Ianthe around afterwards, despite of what she did. Those people I want to refer to point number 3 in this list. Ianthe was working with Hybern. Tamlin tried to be buddies with Hybern for reasons. No, he can't just throw out Ianthe.

#thanks for coming to my tedtalk #tamlin #acotar #idk man i get that people hate him but literally everything he does gets interpreted in the most unfavorable way ever #or simply misquoted #and it's annoying ok #feel free to add to it or correct me #SORRY THIS GOT LONG I WENT OFF A LITTLE #pro tamlin #i guess

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jaynovz · 8 months

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In discussions about the finale of Black Sails, one of the things I often see is folks hard-focusing on Flint's fate, in an either-or binary fashion, usually presented as "Which do you believe-- that Silver killed him? or sent him to the plantation?"

Now, for posterity's sake, gonna mention a few things-- first off, that's simply not thinking broadly enough. There are farrrr more than two options here and I've come up with my share of the reallyyyyy bad ones for sure. Whatever your mind chooses, none of those are happy endings anyway, there are bittersweet, bad, and worse endings all the way down. (They are paused, they are in a time loop, and also all endings and no endings are happening simultaneously)

But also, the more cogent point is that, it doesn't actually matter what happened *to Flint* The story is... not actually about him at that point. We have transitioned from Flint as protag to Silver as protag, setting up for (the fanfiction that Black Sails has ended up making of, ugh, king shit) Treasure Island.

And so, I just, don't find it to be of particular interest exploring what we think Flint is actually doing or if he's alive for real. What is EXTREMELY interesting to explore though is how Silver's speech at the end to Madi is sort of giving Thomas back to Flint as a pacifier/comfort object, but how... Silver is giving Flint that thing in his own mind as his own type of pacifier/comfort object.

That's the REALLY chewy bit. What actually happens to Flint is not the purpose of that scene for me, of Silver's recounting of events to Madi. It's more about... projection. It's about how Silver is dealing with whatever happened to Flint/whatever he did.

And I just feel like it's missing the point to focus so hard on if Flint is alive or not.

He is the ghost of the story regardless, that's what's important. He's going to haunt the narrative for the rest of everyone's lives. No one has been untouched or unscarred by coming into contact with Captain Flint; he has a forever legacy. I'm not the first to call him this, but he's Schrödinger's Flint and he's staying that way.

But this?

"No. I did not kill Captain Flint. I unmade him. The man you know could never let go of his war. For if he were to exclude it from himself, he would not be able to understand himself. So I had to return him to an earlier state of being. One in which he could function without the war. Without the violence. Without us. Captain Flint was born out of great tragedy. I found a way to reach into the past... and undo it. There is a place near Savannah... where men unjustly imprisoned in England are sent in secret. An internment far more humane, but no less secure. Men who enter these gates never leave them. To the rest of the world, they simply cease to be. He resisted... at first. But then I told him what else I had heard about this place. I was told prominent families amongst London society made use of it. I was told the governor in Carolina made use of it. So I sent a man to find out if they'd used it to hide away one particular prisoner. He returned with news. Thomas Hamilton was there. He disbelieved me. He continued to resist. And corralling him took great effort. But the closer we got to Savannah, his resistance began to diminish. I couldn't say why. I wasn't expecting it. Perhaps he'd finally reached the limits of his physical ability to fight. Or perhaps as the promise of seeing Thomas got closer... he grew more comfortable letting go of this man he created in response to his loss. The man whose mind I had come to know so well... whose mind I'd in some ways incorporated into my own. It was a strange experience to see something from it... so unexpected. I choose to believe it... because it wasn't the man I had come to know at all... but one who existed beforehand... waking from a long... and terrible nightmare. Reorienting to the daylight... and the world as it existed before he first closed his eyes... letting the memory of the nightmare fade away. You may think what you want of me. I will draw comfort in the knowledge that you're alive to think it. But I'm not the villain you fear I am. I'm not him."

This is the speech of a man who is self-soothing, who is spinning himself a tale, who is projecting, who is coping.

and THAT is just, way chewier, innit?

#Now that's just from a canon point of view #once we start to delve into like fan fiction #Because fic must necessarily change the story and change canon because it's creating something new #so of course then figuring out what you want to do with flint post canon is necessary #but for me fanfiction is a different realm than canon only based meta conversations about the show #black sails meta #long post #black sails #john silver #james flint #thoughts #black sails spoilers #I was coaxed into writing my group chat meta into a post by the Committee mwah

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silentcryracha · 11 months

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❍ ‗ Love Language (Skz - Hyung line) ‗ ❍

Pairings : Chan x reader, Minho x reader, Changbin x reader, Hyunjin x reader

Genre/warnings : Half headcanon and half scenarios. They all start fluffy and fun and end up suggestively/with a little smut. Regardless strictly 18+

Summary : Each member has some specific dynamics in their relationship that makes your love so special. These are some of them <3

Word count : 2.1 K

A/n : The summary and title suck I know apologies lol, just read to understand lol. Anyways have fun!

ps: There could be errors. Do NOT repost on other socials. Leave feedback if you feel like it, otherwise enjoy! ♡︎

Maknae line link

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Chan ‗ ❍

Chan would be absolutely smitten with someone that either had his same talents with music (the whole process) or at the very least someone that is genuinely interested in what he does. He would feel very validated and happy about it , for sure.

"Oh wow is this something new?" he'd answer yes and ask if you wanted to hear it. Of course you'd say yes in a heartbeat. You'd sit on his lap and listening intently to the new sample/recording, bopping your head to it slightly along with the rhythm.

He would try play it cool but would secretly be really hopeful of your response. When you finished listening you'd say something like "That was great, Channie. I especially liked-" and then you'd go into detail about it. He would be smiling so wide I just know.

Extra bonus points if you start adding some technical specifics or took the initiative to give other ideas, keeping in mind everything that you learned from him. Now he's absolutely in awe and wouldn't be able to hide it.

Or maybe it could be a lyric draft, a new dance bit to learn, some raw vocals and so on. Honestly just any part of his work.

He can be insecure sometimes and doubt his own abilities, so I feel like he would gain so much confidence if someone that he genuinely cared about gave him positive feedback. Especially since you'd try to be always really honest with each other, he would value that a lot too.

So in short, shower him in compliments and make him all shy, he'll love that and hate that at the same time.

It could also be that maybe you're not an expert in the matter and would simply ask him to explain further his inspiration/ideas or the process behind whatever he was doing.

Either way one of you would end up impressed af and randomly go like "You know that was really hot, right?"

Next thing you know you're fucking on the studio couch. Or the desk. Or you riding him on the studio chair. The possibilities are multiple.

"So you think I'm really hot, uh?" he'd tease, making you smile breathlessly. You'd get closer to his ear and whisper "Yes. Always" making him groan.

"You seemed such an expert a few moments ago" he'd say in between thrusts, "Should we make our own beat? What do you say, uh? Can't talk now?" you'd clench around him, too out of it to respond.

"My baby is too fucked out to talk now?" he'd tease, but quickly add some sort of praise like "My good girl, so smart".

He could and would absolutely tease you to get you hot and bothered but would never miss to also shower you in praises like you do with him.

Minho ‗ ❍

I feel he's someone who would love to have a person that can easily match his energy, but also sweep him off his feet.

If he's being serious, he'd want you to also be serious. Unless it was a situation in which you know that he just needs some jokes to make him calm down. If he's in a teasing mood or maybe a rare cheesy mood, he'd like you to play along. Imagine if he decided to be really sweet and you're like "What are you doing Minho"

He would absolutely take it ten times worse that it actually is. Especially if we're talking about occasions in which he allows himself to be comfortable and play around. So don't do that please lol

He would find it very amusing if you actually managed to not only keep up with him but maybe even take it a step further. Maybe when he's making a joke or being ironic. If he's being cute and you act even cuter it would make him happy/shy. If he gets into a heated conversation and you're open to discuss it with him, he would really appreciate you speaking your mind and listening to his thoughts.

He would also get quite protective of your own feelings, wanting to demonstrate the same consideration and love to you. He'd make sure to also adapt well to your own mood or cheer you up and comfort you if you needed it. I guess we could say that trusting each other with your feelings and emotions is your love language. And that's why you work so well together; you're truly friends before you're lovers.

But again, in general he would get so giddy and excited when you do share his vibe. Would probably end up with the tension going through the roof. Sexy, angsty, funny, cute. Doesn't matter really.

And now suddenly he's having his way with you in whichever place you're in and truly keep the energy going.

"Oh you think you're funny now, uh?" would absolutely tease you for going along with him and turn it against you. Say shit like"Such a naughty girl for making such jokes" only to make you go insane.

Not in public, absolutely never in public. He's not a big fan of drawing the attention on him especially when he feels vulnerable. But once you get home, oh boy. Again, could be anywhere around the house in any moment of the day.

"Minho-" you'd try to say in between kisses, "Are you sure this is the time for this?" your tone not convincing even yourself. He'd smirk, jokingly grazing his teeth on your neck, "Why not? What, you want me to stop?" he'd tease, making you immediately say no and kiss him harshly.

Those kind of "I don't even know how I ended up here" type of situations. Insane and unhinged just like the man himself.

A joke goes too far and you're laughing a little to hard while you're doing laundry? The washing machine will do. You just got home and are too horny to think straight? The wall next to the entrance sounds good. It's a lazy evening and you're watching something on tv? The bedroom is the place. And so on <3

Changbin ‗ ❍

Changbin is probably someone who would love to have someone that he could spoil and take care of, 'baby' if you will, but would 100% do it back. I almost feel like it would be a standard for a relationship.

He is the type of man that would treat you like royalty and make sure that you're never missing anything. He wouldn't do it expecting to get anything in return, it's just really a matter of affecting and his love language.

But, it would make him very very happy if his s/o had the same type of dynamic.

For him specifically we're talking about both non material and material type of gifts/attention. Like comforting you or making you laugh when you need it, always making sure that you're comfortable and taken care of.

But also I feel like he would spoil you with gifts both randomly and in special occasions. If for example he buys you a birthday gift, it would have to be the best option that fit your taste perfectly. I also feel like you noticing it and making a comment on it like "Oh, Binnie thank you so much, it's my favorite color!" would make him extremely proud. Just in general seeing you happy and knowing that he contributed to it.

On your side, I think he would truly appreciate even the smallest and most mundane things like grabbing his jacket for him before he goes out and give him a little kiss goodbye, adding a slightly bigger portion of a food that he likes in comparison to another that he enjoys less, taking his hand/stroking his arm when he's feeling nervous to comfort him and so on.

It would make him feel loved. And a little babyed too, which I think he'd love to be honest. He'd absolutely baby you in return though, for sure.

All of these situations could easily turn into more explicit ones with the right setting or the right occasion.

For example, if we're talking about gifts, something a little kinky could be you buying a set of lingerie 'just for him'. Or the opposite. He could be the one buying you a nice necklace and comment on how he'd "Like to see you wearing only that"

Or maybe he could have a special event/professional engagement that he's feeling nervous about and you could say something like "I know you're gonna do great. My Binnie is always so good" getting closer to him adding "Make sure to do very well today too for me, okay? Just think of me waiting for you at home with a gift for you only" you'd add some touching or kissing to really seal the deal.

Good job, now you successfully turned him on. Would probably get distracted from his anxiety and go around with a shit eating grin, and of course, do absolutely great on stage. And after that he'd come come with a purpose, and that purpose was thanking you properly for giving him the confidence that he needed. And find his gift, of course.

Not even the time for you to congratulate him on his performance or say hello for that matter, that he'd be passionately kissing you. "Want to show me that little gift you were talking about, princess?" you'd smirk at him and just go "Unwrap it yourself, baby boy".

And he would absolutely do that in no time but not before picking you up and then bringing you to the bedroom to fully enjoy his gift.

Hyunjin ‗ ❍

Hyunjin is somewhat of an introvert yes, but he is also someone who can completely transform on stage, and that is thanks to confidence. Whether he's actually confident or kind of 'fakes it til he makes it', you can't really tell the difference. And that's because nonetheless he genuinely enjoys himself and has lots of fun dancing, singing and performing in general.

This is why I think that something that he would truly appreciate and find attractive in a s/o is the ability to be carefree. Doesn't necessarily mean that you couldn't be insecure or at the contrary be extremely confident. It just means that nonetheless you would be able to have fun and enjoy yourself when you're doing something you like.

For him it can be dancing, for you it can be something else. Whatever it is I feel like it would make him happy to see you truly happy. And also not take yourself too seriously. Maybe even make fun of each other from time to time.

Like when he's practicing a dance routine and being all sexy and serious and shit, maybe even purposefully make a show for you, and by the end of it you'd go "Hwang Hyunjin stop making sexy faces it's just me. Or do you want to seduce the walls?" that would probably make him laugh and instantly shift the mood. Maybe even get him a little shy, never hurts to tease.

And that's when you play it off, but there could easily be other occasions in which he would 100% try to seduce you and be successful at it.

He could be singing or dancing to a particularly 'exciting' song and somehow get you involved. Maybe whispering some lyrics with a low voice, or get you to dance/move with him finding an excuse to touch you. Or maybe both at the same time.

You could also play the same game though. Maybe one night you're feeling particularly in a good mood and just wanted to dance/sing like there's no tomorrow, so you'd try to get Hyunjin involved in your fun, usually being successful. He'd get shy at first but would slowly start to let himself go too.

In the same situation, if you were feeling in a specific mood though, you'd try your best to seduce him. Again, maybe mouthing or singing some lyrics suggestively and giving him bedroom eyes. Or dancing in the sexiest way you could manage, swaying your hips, touching your body or straight up coming onto him and teasing him up close, inviting him to put his own hands on you.

At that point the level of attraction that he was already feeling just from seeing you being so carefree and confident in having fun would straight up turn into being horny. He'd follow your movements with his hands on your body, maybe joining for a while only to explode not long after.

Any surface would do. You'd be way too drunk on each other and with way too much tension to release to think straight. "Look how messy we are right now, and who's fault is that?" he'd whisper in your ear while fucking you against the dance practice room wall.

"I have no idea" you'd tease, making him chuckle breathlessly, before bringing his head closer with your hand to kiss him deeply.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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insightfulllama · 1 year

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Dp X dc prompt!

In this prompt, liminals/ghosts need to consume fresh ectoplasm to stay healthy and not starve. In addition, the headcanons “only those exposed to ectoplasm can see ghosts as they really are”, and “how people see ghosts is based a lot on their personal perceptions of reality.” have been mushed together. Like, someone un-exposed to ectoplasm knows that SOMETHING is there and it’s scary, but they haven’t been exposed to enough ectoplasm to actually comprehend what it is, so their mind just fills in the empty space with whatever their scared of + what makes sense to them for the context.

So Gotham has a lot of ambient ectoplasm and that's enough to keep Jason from starving completely, but nowhere near enough to be healthy. The inherent ectoplasm he has is basically rotten cause Lazarus pit be like that, so although he is alive and well in human terms, from a ghostly perspective he is extremely emaciated and sickly. Jason has felt varying degrees of empty and BAD since he came back, but there’s not exactly a handbook for this sort of thing, so Jason just accepts feeling terrible and being quick to anger as his new reality.

Cue the bat family calling him up and asking him to check out some weird reports they've been getting. Apparently people have been seeing stuff- a shadowy floating baby, a rotting animal corpse walking around, a ball of energy floating through a wall, etc. Which would be strange enough, but since the sightings started popping up at the same time, Bat's is theorizing that all the sightings are being caused by one entity. And a lot of the reports are in Jason's stomping grounds, so they want him to take a look.

He obliges (not because he wants to help his family, it's JUST because it sounds interesting, ok?) and quickly finds the whatever it is. And he kind of wants to laugh because THIS is what everyone was freaking out about? The thing looks like a gumbrop. Granted it was the size of a cat and glowing a suspiciously Lazarus green, but STILL, what on earth was everyone so scared of?

Regardless, it was in his territory and needed to go. It moved surprisingly fast once it spotted him, and it was taking a lot for Jason not to lose sight of it. Oracle offers to send someone to help and even Jason is surprised at how angrily he says no. But maybe he shouldn't be- he'd seen it first, it was HIS to catch. He discarded his helmet after her next question- she was distracting and the little thing was now periodically turning around to chirp mischievously at him and he was going to GET it, darn it.

He tells himself that the frantic urge to catch the creature was just mission excitement. The wild, clawing NEED to have it was just enthusiasm. The aching pull in his stomach wasn't anything out of the ordinary, his mouth was watering because it had been dry, NO other reason.

He was fine. This was fine, nothing was wrong, he just REALLY needed this thing.

He loses sight of it for a second, but it's fine because he knows the direction it's going.

He turns the corner and pulls up sharply. The gumdrop thing has been caught, but not by him. There's a figure holding its limp form, staring at him with wide eyes, obviously in the middle of eating it.

Jason distantly thinks he should be confused or horrified, but all he can feel is devastation. It was supposed to be HIS- this was HIS territory, HIS place, he should be the one to get it. But he hadn't been fast enough and now he wasn't going to get ANYTHING-

Danny, meanwhile, feels like the biggest jerk in the world. He'd caught the fat blob ghost more out of habit than hunger, since it had practically run into him zipping around the corner. But this other liminal had been in the middle of hunting it and was now looking at him with abject betrayal.

Danny's feelings of guilt got worse as he crept a bit closer and realized that the other liminal was sick. They're ectoplasm felt tainted, contaminated in a way that spoke of long term illness. Danny's brain was going a mile a minute, connecting the pieces. This liminal felt fairly strong so he probably had his own territory, and since he was sick he probably couldn't go far to hunt. Which meant that in essence, Danny had waltzed into the house of a starving, bedridden liminal and eaten directly off his plate.

Yeah, Danny was officially the worst.

But he hasn't actually eaten it yet, so there's still time to fix it! Danny quickly offers to share, rambling to the not-quite-starving liminal that it's like the fattest blob ghost he's ever seen and he really doesn't mind sharing and he can have most of it if he wants, Danny's not that hungry and pretty please don't be upset?

Jason can hardly understand anything he's so ravenous at this point, but he does understand that he's being offered the food he thought he'd lost, so he chows down without any fuss, much to Danny's relief. He tries not to judge how messily the guy is eating cause who knows how long its been since he'd caught any fresh ectoplasm and its honestly no worse than Danny was the first time he ate a blobbie.

Except- the guys tainted ectoplasm seemed to be fading? Huh, maybe the illness wasn't as terminal as it seemed on the surface, if all that was needed to fix it was a decent meal.

Danny decides to leave, the liminal is obviously going to be fine and once they're head clears they're probably going to be embarrassed that Danny saw them in such a state and he doesn't want to deal with that kind of awkwardness. He carefully leaves, relieved that something that could have ended very badly had worked itself out.

Meanwhile, Barbara is trying to get Jason to respond to her without success. The last contact was almost half an hour ago when he'd snarled at her for asking if he needed someone to come help. She was pretty sure he'd ditched his comm after that, but his trackers were still active and she could see he'd come to a stop. He'd been very clear that he didn't want help, but they knew nothing about this entity and Barbara is hardly going to chance that he might be slowly bleeding out somewhere. She sends someone (or multiple someones) to go check on him.

They find Jason splattered head to toe in faintly iridescent gore, hunched over with glowing eyes and softly growling as he eats something unidentifiable.

#in case it was unclear the bat family thinks he ate someone lol #and he's not lucid enough to correct them at the moment #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #dp x dc #dc x dp #fanfic prompt #fanfiction prompt #danny fenton #jason todd #cw implied cannibalism #jason isn't ACTUALLY a cannibal but his fam doesn't know that lol #please tell me what you think #this could go funny or it could go angsty either works

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cookii-moon · 3 months

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Ranking the ninja by their hair.

because.. I don’t know the idea came to me. So. We’re going from the worst of the worst to the absolute best. And you all have to suffer through it :). Kai fans I’m sorry but also kinda not.

#6. Kai.

Greasy. Gross. Unkempt. Splitting. Dying slowly. If it’s not greasy it’s dry and coarse. The only thing keeping it even mildly acceptable in the eyes of society is his overuse of hair products that he isn’t even using properly which results in his hair continuing to die on his scalp despite the lazy attempt to hide how miserable it is. Please for the sake of all that is holy in this world fix your hair Kai please. The ninja beg daily. The Kai does not listen.

#5. Zane.

He has no hair technically speaking since he’s a Nindroid thus making him hard to rank since we don’t really know what his hair is made of, but it’s still never going to be worse than Kai’s so I’m putting him here as it’s a safe spot.

#4. Lloyd.

Generally as a kid he couldn’t care less for self care. He’d often avoid doing it purely to spite anyone who told him to brush his hair or to take a shower, regardless of if it were a teacher or kid at Darkleys or one of the Ninja when they were babysitting him. How dare they make him take care of himself!

Of course, eventually the Ninja started doing it instead. Which has… 50/50 results. At first he just kept his bowl cut because he thought it was the coolest thing ever, so Nya would help him take care of it.

When the Tomorrows tea hit, he decided to try something new, so he tried to style it after Garmadon’s hair, hence his hairstyle being shorter. Of course, Kai was the first to help him fix his hair. And… Well… Kai. It wasn’t… good… so eventually the others all started competing instead. Lloyd still wouldn’t take care of it himself because he can’t be bothered to and can’t get into the habit, so it usually fell to the others to do so.

Eventually Cole taught him how to do his hair well and gave him advice (some of which was literally ignore whatever Kai says) so he can do it himself now!! Though, during bad days or when he’s feeling under the weather he still tends to forget.

#3. Jay.

Jay actually has pretty good hair, despite living in a junkyard. His hair has always been naturally poofy (due to his dormant lightning powers) which he liked as a kid, but it got on his nerves as a teenager, so he’d try to flatten it down a lot with hair products and what not. He always used a lot of good self-care routines and regularly brushed, so his hair was extremely soft. He dislikes having sand and dust in it so he takes good care of it.

After growing closer to his lightning powers though, his hair started fizzling and poofing up and going haywire again, except the constant charge he was exerting meant it just. Couldn’t be contained regardless what he tried. So he settled for this. He still tries to take good care of it but it’s generally much more difficult to brush/comb, so he has a harder time now.

Despite all his difficulties with his frizzly hair, Nya loves it, so he can make an attempt for her <3

#2. Nya.

While Nya at first having grown up in a pretty poor village and with little money together with Kai never really had the resources to really take good care of her hair (or herself for that matter), she always sort of cared for how it felt. She doesn’t like when it’s coarse or anything so she had a handmade comb that she always used to at least get tangles out and smoothen it a bit, though she also kept her hair pretty short since it was difficult. To take care of anything longer than shoulder length with the resources they had.

When she started taking up jobs after joining the ninja and earning her own money, she used some of it to do things she never was able to before like get a hair brush and hair products, buy new clothes for herself, and even get a hairdresser appointment. Nya doesn’t really care for her looks in general, but she does enjoy wearing things she likes and having clean hair annd stuff, so ever since experiencing a hairdresser appointment she has never looked back. She started doing different styles and bought scrunchies and asked for tips on what hair products to use, the whole bunch. She’s been trying to convince Kai to at least learn a bit about hair care as well, but he insists he doesn’t need any help. Unfortunately.

The only reason she’s second is because while she does just genuinely like the feeling of having well kept hair, she can and will skip days if she’s having a bad day or if she’s just. Kind of out of it. She’s not the type to care too much if she ignores it every now and then since her habit of it is just based off of what she finds comfortable so if her comfort and brushing hair is at odds she just won’t do it.

#1. Cole.

I refuse to elaborate, you get no explanation.

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dontyoufeelitangel · 18 days

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What a lady

What happens when you have to push Adam to commit? He’s to pussy to go through with his actions.

Well ever since the last extermination many things have been discovered.

Starting off with the fact that Adam had come close to death. He thought he was the shit, but after his near death experience he’s been like a wobbly kitten who fears the wind.

It’s laughable actually, how quick he was to switch up, don’t get him wrong, he’s still a dickhead but now he is a dickhead that has almost died.

Sinners use angelic steal, how’d they get it? You don’t know. Regardless or how they got their hands on the metal, they still use it as if they have the right.

This really gets on your nerves because instead of forging their own metal they totally steal a bunch from heaven, it’s like, get your own personality you sinners.

Since becoming friends with the first man Adam you’ve changed.

He says for the better, your friends say you’re worse.

But what does their opinion matter when you have Adam as your partner?

Time isn’t a thing in afterlife.

It’s life eternal in heaven so nobody keeps a clock around.

But if you’d have to guess you’d say you have been with Adam for nearly ten years.

Yes, yes, that’s a long time, but you’ve been in heaven for thousands of years so your ten years with Adam feels like practically nothing in the grand sense of things.

Adam has had his effects on you.

You have been introduced to lots of new things with Adam,

Good music, clothing style, attitude style, foods and arts,

But he also told you about the exterminations.

Much to his surprise, you were totally on board.

Adam was actually put off by how on board you were.

He wasn’t complaining, not at all. He was as happy as polar bear in a snow storm.

To say you were on board was an understatement, honestly, you seemed to be more hyped than Adam.

After the last extermination in which sinners figured out how to use angelic steel and nearly murdered Adam, you were beyond pissed.

You used your anger to fuel your burning compassion,

The burning compassion that lit your heart into flames, it burned and crackled but the pain was pleasurable to know that you’d do it all by Adam side.

It was wrong to kill sinners, you knew that. But it was also wrong to try to start a rebellion against heaven.

So you completely lost it when Adam came to you with doubts.

You weren’t mad at him of course, you were mad at whatever past experiences he had to endure to make him freak the fuck out.

You can sympathize with his fear, he did almost taste death, for a second time. Perhaps it was the fact it was by the hands of a sinner that made him so weary.

Still, no excuse for Adam to leave you all high and dry with the extermination,

Like, c’mon… you were so excited, you had pumped yourself up,,,

“Well shit babe, I don’t wanna have those fuckers running around with angelic steel!!” Adam waved his hands in the air, he was referring to the sinners.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

What a pussy excuse

“Shit sugar tits,,, what if they get YOU with that steel!!” Adam exclaimed again this time walking around the room.

“I don’t know what I’d do with myself!! Shit!” He was letting his nerves get to him.

Not once, in your entire time in heaven have you seen this man royally freak out like this.

It was pathetic, you were nearly positive if Lute or Sera were in the room he’d surly act different.

You almost find it cute how he trusts you enough to have his little panics around you.

Almost.

He shouldn’t be going this batshit crazy, not in front of a lady,

Not in front of his lady.

You rub your temples before speaking,

“Calm down” you said once with a softer tone,

Adam must’ve not heard you, or maybe he just straight out ignored you because he continued to ramble to himself about the upcoming extermination.

Nobody was around, but it was still embarrassing for you to see him acting this way. For the first man you’d think he’d have a little more composure.

“ADAM.” You yelled, firm in your voice.

He stopped in place and looked at you, you huffed.

“I don’t understand why this is getting to you.” You told him, glaring daggers into him for his previous embarrassing behavior.

“Bitch I already told you! What if we die, what if we fail-“

“We fail? If you get your courage up we can’t fail.” You said, walking towards him. Adam looked around the room, trying to avoid your gaze.

You grabbed his jaw in your hand, holding his face steadily with one hand.

“Dear god” you spoke,

“Thicken Adam’s blood, and clog up his veins so he won’t feel remorse. So no human compassion nor sinners weapon can stop his plan.”

You offered your prayers to god, hoping he would make Adam man up.

You finished the prayer, your hand still holding Adam still, he looked into your eyes.

“We shall go to hell during thick night, so that our sharps weapons won’t see the wounds they cut open, and so that heaven can’t peep through the darkness” you told him.

You let go of his face and moved back to your previous spot sitting down.

Adam just sorta stood there, at a loss for words.

Damn, that was hot, you were a bad bitch,

You had intimidated Adam, usually he’d be incredibly offended if it was any other person, but you? You were a special case,

A special case in which Adam was buckling at the knees and felt his heart catch a flame.

“..yeah yeah,,” he muttered out. Still in shock yet trying to flag off what you just said.

He walks to you,

This time you use two hands to grab his face,

You pull him down to your level and place a kiss atop his temple, as a silent apology for yelling at him.

“You ready to go fuck shit up unapologetically and not be scared about it?” You tilted your head towards him.

“Hell yeah! Your right babe” he cheered himself on.

You gave a small smile.

“No more funny Adam, I gotta be so fuckin’ serious about this. I’m done being a total pussy, I’m done being funny” he nods to himself. Hyping himself up for the upcoming extermination.

“Adam, you stopped being funny awhile ago,,”

Inspired by Lady Macbeth, the baddest most evilest bitch in Shakespeare.

Also this is real shit writing, sorry for no plot. I was high and reading Shakespeare so I had a little thought.

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son1c · 1 month

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y'all don't even know about what happens after fibula encounters femur that first time... because, like, sure, he runs away from her. he flees the graveyard and disappears into the woods because he can't bear to face her.

but he doesn't go back to eggman. he can't. he's panicking too much to think straight. stumbling through the trees, overwhelmed by a cavalcade of emotions brought forth by seeing his sister again. he thought she was dead, but she's not. he thought, if she was alive, that she wouldn't care about him anymore. but she does. clearly--since she was visiting his grave, and leaving him gifts.

fibula is CRASHING through the woods, making so much noise and not caring at all about how many plants he's trampling underfoot. the flickies are pissed. he doesn't care. he doesn't even see them.

all he can see is his sister's face--older. her eyes, confused. because she doesn't recognize him.

and it hits him all at once the situation that he's in. undead. stitched together with chaos energy and mechanical legs. a monster. he never cared before. in fact, he actually thought it was pretty cool to be a monster. but his own sister's failure to recognize him causes his still heart to twist painfully.

is this really right? everything he's done since being revived, all the torment he's caused and ENJOYED causing... he's rethinking it now that he's seen femur again. because even though being a menace has made him happy, what would his sister think? would she be disappointed? or, worse...

would she be afraid of him?

the thought of it causes him choke and stumble, and by this point he's made enough of a ruckus to attract the attention of a certain blue hero... who of course, starts on a quip about how he wasn't planning on kicking any zombie butt today, but...

and then sonic sees The Absolute State(TM) that fibula is in, and whatever he was going to say dies in his throat. cuz he's seen a lot of stuff, but one of his enemies crying their eyes out? gotta say, this would be the first time. meanwhile, fibula is NOT EXCITED about running into sonic, because spilling so many tears--which are actually just liquefied chaos energy, aka the stuff KEEPING HIM ALIVE--has left him exhausted, and he doesn't think he has any energy left to fight.

and he's right! because he collapses shortly after sonic steps closer, his ears perking up curiously after fibula chokes out something about his sister... and when he wakes up some time later, he finds himself strapped to another metal table (different from the one eggman revived him on).

as it turns out, fibula's little "face down in the dirt" stunt from earlier made sonic think he was dead. like DEAD dead, for real this time. so, our favorite blue hero dragged fibula back to tails' lab to see if he could fix it. (tails, of course, was baffled by the situation, but a chance to examine eggman's handiwork up close could be useful regardless of the fact fibula is less tech and more flesh than most things the doctor works on.)

immediately, fibula tries to break free, but tails has that shit locked down, so the restraints don't budge. then, fibula remembers seeing femur earlier, and resigns himself to laying on the table. it's not that he's given up, it's just... this might be the worst day of his life (and the competition is pretty steep, so that's really saying something).

meanwhile, tails isn't sure what to do. by this point, he's noticed that fibula is awake, but sonic isn't around--he ran off once it was clear that tails had the situation under control--so he doesn't have his big brother to guide him. and he doesn't even really know fibula. since this is the first time they're directly interacting (before this, all tails would've heard was wild tales from sonic, amounting to nothing more than spotty secondhand knowledge).

and the thing is, fibula has no idea who tails is either. all he can see is that he's a kid. and fibula has a very strict rule against hurting kids (because they remind him of his sister. who is apparently still alive. and doesn't recognize him. oh, man--)

fibula forces himself to say something. "you don't look like you work for eggman," probably. with his typical snark, but it lacks its usual bite.

tails would scoff. an astute observation from the guy who was clinically dead a few minutes ago, he thinks. then, he tells fibula that he doesn't work for eggman, because he's on the opposite team.

that makes fibula grimace. great. so, he's strapped to an ENEMY'S table. and then he remembers running into sonic after having his little freakout in the graveyard, and everything starts to make a little more sense.

and of course THAT is when sonic saunters back in, probably with a snack in hand like, "how's it goin' in here, tails?" all casual-like. but he Knows. and fibula knows that he knows. and fibula is DETERMINED to act like nothing happened and sonic didn't see ANYTHING and nothing is wrong. so he instantly snaps back, because now he can focus on being a jerk again instead of whatever awful feelings have been brewing in his gut since last night...

and tails watches. he watches as fibula and sonic bicker and comments on fibula's strange state of not-life, not-death but fibula ignores him on purpose... until tails gets fed up and states bluntly that maybe he shouldn't've revived him, even though sonic asked, cuz he's so mean.

and there's half a second where fibula has nothing to say. SONIC helped him? even though they're enemies? but then fibula sneers at sonic and says "your mistake."

and sonic has that fucking look in his eye... you know... the one where he thinks he knows everything. the "we'll see about that"-type look. and fibula hates it so much because it just adds to his Inner Turmoil(TM). like, he's evil now! he's evil! and bad! and a no-good, rotten hedgehog!

and he's also strapped to a table. and owes his not-life to a tiny little fox, apparently.

and for the first time since sonic showed up, fibula looks at tails. he looks him right in the face with his unsettling orange eyes that shouldn't be. and he says, "your big bro thinks he's got it all figured out. but you're the smart one, i can tell. so i'll take your word over his."

and tails kinda like... falters. cuz he wasn't expecting that? and fibula doesn't realize it, but what he said reveals a lot of his inner conflict to tails. cuz he's right... tails IS the smart one. and when tails eventually lets fibula go, and fibula scampers back to the empire, tails is left wondering about fibula and his cracked facade

#this has been in my drafts since november idk why i never posted it. more fibula lore i guess #fibula and tails have a very ''in the background'' type arc that starts right hereeee #and comes to a head during the climax of fibula and metal's story like it's Super important #but i dont think i've actually talked about it at all so #fibula the hedgehog

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vclvetfleur · 10 months

Text

Obedient Chapter 3

roman roy x fem! reader

Summary: You get invited by Roman to go to a party to celebrate Kendalls win in getting a new investor. But Roman's envious and jealous nature can't allow his own brother to be happy. He uses the party to ruin it leaving you alone to explore the party by yourself.

Warnings: implied child abuse and past assault, sexual dysfunction, talks of mental health, drugs and alcohol abuse, mentions of ED

Word Count : 4.5K

Notes: Wow. This was the most i've ever written. I think I need to go back to edit the warnings. Now that I have a kind of header for my fan fic now. I also do want to mention that I am going to make y/n a dominant person overall, but not in any sexual way. I also do want to mention again, this is a work comes for my own therapy and some of my own personality and traumas. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 3: An Original Paul Gauguin

You sped to the shower the minute you stepped into the apartment. You needed to get ready for this party. You turned the water on before checking it. “Ow!” You yelped, backing away from it and carefully trying to lower it. You lowered the shower head before grabbing your phone, going onto Spotify and playing whatever came onto your shuffle playlist. You left the phone alone as you finally went under the water. One of your favorites eventually came on, prompting you to sing along to it.

The shower was meant for two things, to finally get rid of whatever the fuck you put your hair through and removing all the makeup you had on.

And to just sing. It made you ignore your body as much as you would usually stare at it. You were particularly the most secure with what you looked like. It was a lot worse, but you were still making progress to appreciate it for what it even was. Most people told you that you were fine or that you looked good, but nothing really convinced you other than random hook ups that came in and out, but that only helped if they were even able to make you cum, which they usually couldn’t. You weren’t sexually inept, you hooked up with a lot of people, you were able to have sex. You even thought you were good at it by what you were told by countless suitors that walked in and out of your bedroom, just you seemed to never enjoy it or get comfortable enough. You always wanted to get over with it as soon as you realized it wasn’t what you were expecting. You’ve only had your expectations met a few times, enough to count on one hand. But regardless, it reminded you, you liked sex. Just you couldn’t find the right thing. It kind of made you jealous of your friends. Even Roman with how perverted he was, he seemed to actually be able to enjoy himself. If you took what he was saying as even truth, which you mostly didn’t. I mean who would text someone if they were saying they were going to an orgy?

You scrubbed down your body with soap once you finished your hair routine. You never knew what to put into it to make it look like everyone seemed to. Everyone liked your hair, but you just always thought it could look a lot better than it did. Midway into your shower you heard loud banging. You turned your water off and looked at the bathroom door. Who the fuck? You stepped out, wrapping a towel around yourself before leaving the bathroom. You checked your front door, seeing the stick that you got off of amazon to keep your door locked was still there. You removed it and unlocked the doors to only open it to see a tall and large man. “Roman sent me to hand this over to you.” He cleared his throat, avoiding looking at you. You nodded slowly before grabbing the box from him. You brought it into your apartment, setting it on your dinning/coffee table. “You should expect me again by 8:30. Roman wants me to pick you up before the party.” He explained once more before leaving. Weird. Why couldn’t this be done in a simpler way? Is he sending an assistant to his own assistant? You shut your door before grabbing your door stopper and putting it up against your door, locking the locks right after. You took a pictures of the box, sending it to Roman.

‘is this the box you sent to bomb my house?’ you tried to joke

‘bomb squad is on their way. thanks asshole.’

You went back to the bathroom, setting your phone on the counter. You wiped down your body and then ruffled your hair into the towel in an attempt to dry it. You quickly put on some underwear and a large shirt to get ready in. You hopped onto the counter, scrolling through Pinterest to find some kind of inspiration to do your look for the night. You watched as notifications from Roman flooded in. You couldn’t find anything good on Pinterest anyways. You opened Roman’s text, snickering at them.

‘no dumbass they’re what your wearing. pick something. but if you pick the ugly one your fired.’

You left the bathroom and rushed back to where you left the box. You grabbed a pair of scissors from your kitchen and opened the box up to see 3 dresses that were left in there. They were so plain. You never realized how boring rich people’s clothes were. Sure, celebrities and artsy rich people were fashionable, but not the others. Except for Shiv, she actually knew how to style whatever boring thing she put on her body to make it look good. You just decided on the less boring one before refolding the rest and putting them back in the box. You spent the rest of the night getting ready, making sure you looked professional, but loose enough for the party. You couldn’t be so uptight at a party, right?

You had been texting Jess the entire time, getting her opinion. She gave you all the advice you needed. She was shocked to even hear about your good day with Roman today. She assumed I would’ve lost it by now. She nearly has with Kendall. She has even mentioned to you a couple of time how much she wanted to quit sometimes, but she felt so much pity for Kendall. How could you not? Spending less than an hour with him made you realize how sad he was, imagine spending hours, day to night, with him.

Thank god, Jess was also showing up. She had to. She needed to make sure Kendall did nothing stupid that could be used to blame her for ‘not being there’. You were gonna at least have someone to attach to there. Before you knew it, you heard knocking at your door again. You had already gotten ready and just quickly grabbed your bag before answering the door. You double checked your belongings before pulling on your heels for the night. You opened the door and saw the same large man from earlier. You walked out, locking your door before following him out to his car. It was a brand new Rolls Royce. You got in to find it completely empty. It was huge. There was a little cooler in the back with a bottle for some liquor and mixers. You were too scared to open it though. You didn’t know if it was even for you to touch. You left it alone and stayed in the back, watching the city from the window. You were raised in New York. You just lived right across from Manhattan in Brooklyn. You used to be able to go down to the parks to stare at the skyscrapers at night and see all the light coming from it. It was gorgeous. Always has been. You could only really take in the beauty of it when in the car. You drove through most of Manhattan before finally stopping. You watched the driver leave before he opened the door for you. You moved over to step out to only realize the door wasn’t for you. It was for Roman. You scooted back over to your spot, maybe a bit farther too.

“Hey, looks like I don’t have to actually fire you.” He laughed before sliding into the car. He turned to the cooler, pulling out liquor from it and glasses that were set on the sides before pouring himself a glass. He looked at you and offered, but you decline. “Boo boring. Come on. Just drink. You can even watch me; I won’t date rape you.” He shook his head before making you a drink regardless. You sigh before taking the drink from him. He relaxed in his seat, looking off at you as you were sat up straight, holding the top of your drink avoiding his glare. You looked incredible to him. He admired his choice, but all the small ones you made to your appearance. Granted, his choice wasn’t that huge since you were the one in the dress, but he liked to take credit. His eyes wandered over you, knowing you weren’t looking at him to even notice how he was staring. Either way he was always on the radar of recovering from his actions. He took a sip before clearing his throat to get your attention. “So, did the bomb go off in your apartment? Womp womp. Looks like you’ll live with me.”

You nearly spit your drink up, looking at him shocked to even hear something like that from him. Or anyone in that regard. “Why would I live with you?” You attempted to wipe your mouth without ruining the lipstick you have one, even though you had more in your purse. “Y’know so you can do this assistant stuff easier.” He tried to make his case, but he knew it was idiotic.

“Roman, you can’t just-“You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose before taking a drink.

“Well, thankfully it was just a joke. Fucking crybaby” He whispered the last part to not annoy you any further.

Before you knew it, you were at the party. “Why did we need a car if it was only a few blocks away?” You asked before stepping out of the car with Roman. You just followed him to wherever he was leading you. “Cause I’m rich.” Was his only reasoning to it. You acted almost like a little puppy, following Roman around only because you knew you had to. There was no way you were going to even know how to begin a conversation with these people. “What’s the party for?”

“Uh- it’s some swinger party my brother threw together. You have your keys?” He turned back to you. You looked in your bag before putting your own hand out with all the fingers down except your middle one. “Hardy har har, aren’t you fucking hilarious.” He was unamused.

The elevator opened to the penthouse. It was a party for a win in one of their investments that they just had made, but parties were another way to bring in more investors and find more people to buy their business off of. You walked right behind him, looking around to find Jess. You couldn’t bare being here alone any longer. You weren’t alone technically. You were with Roman, but he didn’t seem like he was very much in a laughing mood with you anymore since you both stepped in the building.

Roman was planning to make the investors back out. All because Kendall made the deal instead of him. He needed to figure a way to make this a move on him rather than his brother. He needed a way to make Logan just pat him on the back for his work. This is all Roman ever did. He didn’t do work at the office because he saw no point in it. There was more use of his time. Meeting and having ‘fun’ at these stupid events were his way of making deals. It’s what he did. Informal. No rules. He was held to no obligation that the office had. “Uhh, why don’t you just go around and well, fuck off for a bit.” He asked you while looking way to distracted to even look at you. Your face dropped. You finally thought Roman was going to be a bit nicer now. But you thought wrong apparently. He was acting like a dick again. You just nodded and walked away. “Noted.” His head turned back to you; his lips pressed into a thin line. He knew it was mean, but he had no time to waste. He made a B line for the investors. And he did what Roman did best. Ruin his brother’s reputation to complete strangers and lose their trust in him.

You wandered around, looking at various art pieces on the wall. You enjoyed art, especially ones there you knew weren’t just copies of the original. It was like looking at a piece of history up close. You got lost in the painting before hearing someone talking to you. You looked over to see a tall younger woman with blonde hair. “It’s an original Paul Gauguin” she quietly said, looking your way after taking a moment to look at the painting. Her dress fell right above her knees and the collar sat right below her collar bone. It was a very vibrant blue velvet. It wasn’t too boring, you assumed. She let her hand out before smiling. “I’m Willa, I swear I think you’re the only person my age here.” She laughed before you took her hand. She seemed quiet; kept to herself. “Y/n.” You introduced yourself. “Uh so what do you do?” You prompted. At least that’s what you assumed people in this kind of environment said. “I write plays.” She said proudly. “Oh wow, anything I might’ve seen?” You began to question. She shook her head no before holding a kind of hurt smile. Willa was never proud of her own work. She use to do acting, but that wasn’t paying the bills nearly enough, so she decided to start escorting for rich guys before she realized she enjoyed writing a lot more than acting. But at least she figured out what she wanted to do with her life early enough. Her boyfriend couldn’t say that.

“That’s fine. Well when you do, I would love to get a ticket to it, are you writing anything currently?” Willa began to go into her whole passion project that she had just started working on before the conversation getting interrupted by an older individual. “Hi darling.” He smiled before wrapping an arm around Willa’s waist and leaving a kiss over her cheek. “Oh hi Con.” She said in an uncomfortable tone. She never really seemed comfortable around him. Always shifting away when he kissed or held her. Never prompting affection in the first place. “Connor Roy.” He started.

“Roy?” You questioned. “Are you their cousin or uncle or?” You wondered before getting cut off with an answer. “I’m Logan’s son.”

You looked shocked to even hear he had another son other than Roman and Kendall. In the entire week of working with them, you never heard of him yet. They never even quiet mentioned another brother. They just mentioned Shiv. “Oh well it’s nice to meet you. I’m (y/n).” you tried to be as likable as you could after the awkward interaction.

“Oh, you’re Rome’s assistant, right?” He asked. You nodded, puzzled on why he even knew he had a new assistant. How much do they talk? “Ya, dad told me about you.”

Logan Roy knew who I was!? I never even had met him yet and he knew who I was. I had passed by his office and had been in eyes view, but I never actually met him. Willa looked at you like she knew something you didn’t want to hear. You were just still in shock of someone as big as Logan knowing of your existence to the point, he mentioned me by name to someone else. “What’d he say?” You asked.

“Oh, it wasn’t anything on you. Just more about Roman. He was just going on about how he thought Roman was being reckless again and just- “Connor went on before halting know he should stop. You just nodded slowly before tapping a waiter on the shoulder and grabbing a drink from their hands. You downed it quickly before excusing yourself. Holy fuck. This was big.

You needed to find Jess immediately.

You looked around for her before spotting Kendall. He didn’t seem to good. He had already had quite a few drinks in him. If Kendall was near, so was Jess. Before you knew it, you spotted her. “Jess.” You whisper screamed before taking her arm. “You are going to shit your pants when you hear this. Logan knows who I am. He was talking about me to fucking Connor. Did you even know they had another brother? I didn’t! What the fuck?” You were panicking. What could Logan have possibly been saying? Sure, he was talking about Roman, but why did I need to be brought into it? Fuck.

“Hey, relax. It’s okay. He probably just seen you walking around. That’s all.” She tried to assure you it was okay. She took your hands and tried to remind you to take easier breathes. “See.” She smiled before continuing to breathe with you. She had seen you at such low points that she knew exactly how to pick you up from a slump. Not always, but before they started, Jess was the person to call to help you. You were upset she never studied Psychology; she’d be great at therapizing people. Hell, she basically does it for Kendall now.

Your nerves were still shot, but better than earlier. “Uh- can we get a drink please?” You asked. She nodded before holding your arm and guiding you to the bar. You ordered yourself 2 drinks, both for yourself. Jess just got herself a wine. Jess stopped over drinking after working with Kendall. His issues scared her enough that she felt like she needed to be sober to deal with any situation. She drank from time to time, just never when she knew Kendall would need her. And after his relapse, she couldn’t afford to get drunk. She needed to make sure her boss didn’t end up like a real life BoJack Horseman.

You downed your drinks as quick as possible before finally settling on some champagne. You knew to keep your pace. “So, what’s wrong with Kendall?”

“The investors backed out. He tried to talk to him, but there was no convincing them. I don’t know. The poor guy just needs a win.” She sighed, watching him to make sure he didn’t act out.

“So, this is what was stressing you out so much.” You finally realized why Jess had been having so many outbursts outside of work or just seemed a lot more stressed in general. She was a lot more anxious. She was on edge a lot of worrying Kendall was gonna send her a text to make her worry about what was gonna happen next to him. “You have no clue. This is barely anything I went through. This is a tame night dealing with Kendall. At best, I’m just going to make sure he gets into bed tonight.”

“Aww are you gonna tuck him in and read him a story?” You laughed. She tried to hold her giggling before lightly nudging your arm. “No, but you might soon with Roman’s insane mommy issues. But honestly thinking about it, that might make him hard.” She sounded grossed out at the idea before laughing along with you.

Speak of the devil himself. Roman finally decided to actually have fun. He seemed a lot more off edge. He probably just took a molly in the bathroom or something. “Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting him?” Roman asked Jess before sitting at the bar with the two of you. “I’m an assistant not a babysitter Roman. You should know that you have one now.” Jess was unamused. She had a hatred for Roman. Most people did. But she saw him as someone who was actively trying to ruin Kendall. Which he did, but especially after Kendall’s relapse.

Roman was there when Kendall relapsed. He ran to even get him and help him out. He was scared for him. But after all that went down in the deal and all that drama that came with it, Kendall and Roman were once again strained.

“Yea, but this one is kind of defected. Might need to get it fixed at a factory or something. Oo should I get the new model?” He pointed at you. It really sunk in that Roman believed you were an object. You quietly sipped your wine. Jess knew how annoyed you were though. She could read you easily. Your jaw was clenched tighter, and you got this disassociated gaze when you got annoyed. “Kind of hard to do my job when my boss spends most of his morning making sure the cum in his hair dried up enough to hold for the rest of the day.” You shrugged. He couldn’t even begin to know where to start with mocking you for that comment. “Look just cause you’re… a commoner, doesn’t mean you don’t understand what mousse is. And no, not like the animal that Kendall clear looks like.” He giggled behind his drink before watching Kendall make a complete ass of himself.

“Okay, he just called me a commoner.” You whispered to Jess. You tried to breathe in and out slowly before losing your cool.

“Huh? What was that? I don’t speak church mouse, speak louder than that.” He put his hand on his ear, leaning closer to you to understand what you said. He was insisting you repeated yourself. He actually didn’t hear you. But he did like hearing all the insults you were willing to throw back at him. He thought you seemed to take his jokes well enough.

“I said you’re a fucking dick.” You said blankly to his face, looking at him directly. Your face stone cold as you gave him the meanest look you had.

“Ooo scary.” He wiggled his fingers. “Oh no. The peasant- “he tried before you had gotten up and stormed off away from him. That was enough. You came to the party to see what he needed if he did need you, but he made it clear enough you were here just to be embarrassed and humiliated by him. Who else would? No one was his friend anyways. Jess got up quickly and followed you. You headed out on the balcony. Most people were inside anyways. And the cool air felt good. “Hey, don’t take what he says seriously; that’s just how he is.” She tried to rationalize.

“Ya, if so, people gotta stop making excuse for that fucking prick. Who the fuck is he to act like that? Just because daddy gives him the money and fucking bull dogs to do so? Nuh-uh fuck him. That was- UGH!” You clenched your fists as you tried to hold back from screaming. “I don’t care. Fuck him.” You paced back and forth. “Fuck that dude. Dirty fucking unwashed little ferret.”

Roman had decided to look for you too. He might’ve crossed a line with you. He didn’t mean to. He knew he could be harsh, but he didn’t ever mean to come across as that bad. He never knew what was too far in all honesty. All of his boundaries were broken down since he was a kid, so he no longer had any. He knew his would be unlistened to and broken, so he assumed everyone else’s were too. He stepped out and found you. “Uhh Jess, Ken is about to do a backflip, so I think you should go back in.” He warned.

“Fuck off Rome, no he isn’t.” She scoffed, her arms crossed, staring back at him. But he refused to make any effort to even look at her. He avoided all eye contact. “Just please. Yea cause the junkie who you ordered coke for earlier is so okay right now after blasting through 6 lines and 3 shots.” He sounded annoyed. You weren’t sure you could even believe his lie. There was no way Jess was willingly getting him in touch with a dealer. She groaned before leaving you alone with Roman.

“Uhhh soo, that was I guess, I mean, I guess I violated some workers right law or something.” He tried to start the conversation. He never knew how to apologize.

“Yea. Multiple. For the past couple of days.”

“Right.” He noted before leaning against the railing across from you, making sure to give you space in case you pushed him off the building. “Uh so, which part made you so upset so I can just apologize and you let this go.”

There were no words to truly describe Roman. How could he really believe that it was that simple?

“Roman, I’m not forgiving you.” You laid out the truth. You were so embarrassed of yourself. Just earlier today you were practically cuddled up with him thinking he was actually kind of cute and funny. But he was just some other capitalist billionaire prick. The image and stereotypes were true.

“Weeeeeell you kind of have to. You are my assistant.”

“I just tolerate you.” You said coldly. You refused to look his way. You looked around the city to see the light that you admired earlier. It seemed to rest your nerves just a bit. They had a calming effect on you.

“Oh, come on, don’t be a fucking snowflake.” He whined. He was so pathetic looking. His eyes turned into pleading. They were practically like a little child who knew they did something wrong. His lips twitched to hide his discomfort. His head even lowered. He was a billionaire, and she was just on his payroll.

“Seriously? This is why I don’t forgive you Roman. You’re sorry but I’m a snowflake? Really? Do you even know how to form the words ‘I’m sorry’?” You berated him. “No. Do you? Well? No apparently not.” You finally faced him. You knew his ego was bruised. It was evident. It almost made you feel sorry for him. But you just couldn’t. You couldn’t feel sorry for someone who refused to take accountability for their actions. “I’m gonna go home Roman. I will see you tomorrow in the office.”

“But-“ He tried to reach out, but he knew he should probably back off for now. He didn’t wanna upset you anymore than he has.

You made sure to say goodbye to Jess and Willa before you had left, but you knew you’d see them both very soon.

You left and got into the Rolls Royce that waited for you and Roman. You told the driver to go without him. You relaxed on your way home. You were just happy to leave that mess. You couldn’t stand being there any longer than you had to. You walked back into your apartment and kicked your shoes off. You locked the door before making your way to the bedroom. You stripped down and laid onto your bed as soon as you possibly could. You quickly set your alarms before calling it a night.

Note: Poor Con, always the forgotten child :(

Chapter 4

#succession #succession hbo #hbo succession #roman roy x you #roman roy x reader #roman roy #roman roy fanfic #hbo series #hbo original #shiv roy #siobhan roy #kendall roy #connor roy #willa succession #succession fanfic #tom wambsgans #hbo max #greg hirsch #cousin greg

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runwayrunway · 7 months

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No. 54 - Ryanair

You are watching a video on a popular video sharing service. It is a full episode of a popular and long-running show, generously uploaded for free. It is narrated by a calm man with a BBC accent of the sort which belongs exclusively in documentaries.

The narrator names a date between 1903 and the current year. It is accompanied by a location - an airport. An airplane is on approach. It has a certain number of people on board, and it flies for some airline. There are pilots, most likely two of them. They make some sort of mistake, and maybe there's an issue with the weather, or the ILS is down, or the instruments are giving misleading information, or some other thing has gone tailcone over teakettle in an alarmingly short timespan and now their approach is tremendously unstable. They aren't on the glideslope. They're too fast or too slow. They really need to declare a missed approach, but for whatever reason they don't.

The plane lands, or 'lands' - finds itself on the ground, regardless - either on or short of the runway. It bounces, or flips over, or just pancakes into the ground. The fuselage cracks, or splits, or peels open, or horribly catches fire. There is an evacuation. It's all very stressful at minimum, and an unmitigated tragedy at worst.

You scroll down to the comments for some reason. "Average Ryanair landing," says one near the top.

Ryanair (not to be confused with Ryan Air, a real but unrelated airline) is Europe's largest air carrier. It has over 550 airplanes and serves over 200 destinations. It is difficult to imagine an airline with a worse reputation - their CEO is a literal troll, their customer service is legendarily poor, and their ultra-low-cost model is one in which you inevitably get what you pay for. They are memetically despised, and their rough landings are the stuff of legend.

And yet their livery is understated, with a certain head-held-high gravitas. It is difficult to describe the legitimate cognitive dissonance which arises from Ryanair's aerosartorial choices, an effect that seems to touch more people than just me. On another airline, I wouldn't find this livery particularly thought-provoking. Enough substance to write a post about, but not something which lurks in my mind and draws my attention. But on Ryanair, it's downright fascinating.

I've said what I've said, but I'm actually a defender of Ryanair. Look, it's like getting a ticket on a bus or the metro. It's cheap (at least in theory - they seem to be getting pricier lately) and it gets you where you need to go and it's probably not going to be that long of a flight anyway so, I mean, whatever. I've flown some pretty long flights before in-flight entertainment was standard, Ryanair is fine. I never even noticed the hard landings until I saw people talking about them, and to be perfectly honest I didn't notice them afterward either. Maybe I'm just not bothered by hard landings, the same way I'm not bothered by turbulence. Who really knows? My point is that I'm something of a Ryanair apologist. I live in the US, where you just don't get dirt cheap flights like that and getting anywhere outside of your home metropolitan area by train (and even sometimes bus) costs even more than flying. Ryanair could make me board the plane by abseiling up it myself to save money on airstairs and I'd be fine with it if the price was right. I'm not a millionaire. I haven't got the money to go jetsetting around Europe on a real airline. So I mean this when I say it: thank goodness for Ryanair.

I mean, I'm not saying this because Ryanair is good, don't get me wrong. They are the Big Bill Hell's of airlines. They are the closest thing we have to John Mulaney's version of Delta. Ryanair is not just no-frills, it's hot-glued fabric scraps in the vague shape of a garment. They are legitimately comical in their commitment to service so Kafkaesquely bad that you almost wish you'd travelled by trebuchet instead! And all this for the low, low price of...well, I mean, they do get pretty low.

When I released my first questionnaire I added a question about Ryanair specifically because of its reputation and my own feelings about the airline. Multiple people did agree with me - well, it's definitely not comfortable at all, you won't enjoy yourself, but it's so obscenely cheap that this isn't really objectionable. You are getting exactly what you pay for. And, well, if you do want some semblance of the full-service experience you can pay an extra fee. Or a lot of extra fees. That's how they get you. The ULCC model relies on stripping out everything possible and then charging you extra for it. That does mean that if you need things like printed boarding passes or the ability to pay by credit card that come standard with literally any other airline you could end up paying a decent amount for your miserable cramped flight, but if you truly want the bare minimum they will charge you appropriately, and that is so important to me, because I have too little money to insist on being comfortable.

I do feel...particularly sorry for one respondent.

It isn't bad press they are legitimately a nightmare. A attendant once lied to me and told me that type of plane just didn't have toilets (it did. There was a working toilet on board) then proceeded to lecture me about 'not planning ahead and going in the airport'

This is kind of hilarious in a sad way and I'm very sorry that this happened to you. Ryanair is infamous for its bad customer service but it's rare you'll hear about cabin crew behaving this poorly at any airline. While this particular incident was a one-off, you probably will have a pretty miserable time if you need to call the airline about literally anything.

One person just answered 'bitches'.

Well, that answers the question "what is Ryanair", but why is Ryanair?

The world is full of low-cost carriers. Wizz Air, EasyJet, airasia, Allegiant, Jetstar, FlySafair, Volaris, T'Way, Azul, Nok Air, Frontier, Lion Air, jetBlue, and SpiceJet are just some of the dozens which fill the skies. They are often colourful, frequently grumbled about, and essential.

Low-cost carriers, and especially ULCCs, are a relatively recent phenomenon. They only sprung into being after aviation stopped being by necessity a luxury product. It's generally agreed that PSA (Pacific Southwest Airlines), an intrastate carrier from California colloquially known as the Poor Sailor's Airline, was the first low-cost carrier. While the large interstate carriers of the time had a sort of detached gravitas to both their services and their prices, and were often prevented from lowering said prices anyway due to federal taxes that didn't apply to intrastate carriers like PSA, a ticket on "The World's Friendliest Airline" was cheap and the service was casual and personable. The low-cost model is built on being an option for a normal person. If you don't have the money to fly TWA, you can fly on an airline which is made for normal people and charges you accordingly.

The model didn't really catch on immediately, though. I couldn't exactly say why - it might have to do with the lack of demand for air travel that wasn't either commuter flights or long-haul. There was some activity in the market, with Loftleiðir (a precursor to Icelandair) offering cheap-as-dirt transatlantic flights in the 60s and Laker Airways having a three-year tenure in the late 70s serving a similar market from a Western European base. Even today the long-haul low-cost market they served is notoriously difficult to make anything work in.

What is generally thought to be the next major player in low-cost airlines, Southwest, emerged in 1971. David Neeleman further refined the model, first with innovations in cost-cutting at Morris Air and later by raising the bar for customer experience at jetBlue. David Neeleman, though, was active right at the turn of the millennium. Low-cost carriers only really began to emerge in real numbers in the 80s and 90s, with examples that are long-gone, like the infamous ValuJet, existing alongside ones US residents have probably seen at their local airport, like Spirit.

Spirit is different from jetBlue and Southwest. Spirit Airlines is not just a low-cost carrier but an ultra low-cost carrier. As the name suggests, the difference is one of scale. A low-cost carrier provides less comprehensive and less ritzy service than a full-service airline, but they do so in the tradition of PSA, trying to provide a comfortable experience that makes people want to choose their airline. The ULCC model, on the other hand, guts out literally every possible feature and then dangles it in front of you on a string, telling you to pay extra if you want it. These airlines do not provide a good experience. There will be no baggage allowances, no extra legroom, and no priority boarding. The base fare, however, is almost absurdly low relative to even low-cost carriers, and as air travel becomes a fact of life more and more the humble ULCC becomes a necessary part of the ecosystem as the only way many people can afford to travel.

Ryanair is technically 38 years old, but it's only been a low-cost carrier since 1990. This pivot is the brainchild of then-CFO, now CEO (and ouster of the eponymous Ryan) Michael O'Leary, one of the wealthiest and most unpleasant men in Ireland.

image: Associated Press Yes, this is actually a real image of the CEO of Ryanair. I imagine this may clear up a thing or two.

Why is Ryanair? Because Michael O'Leary, is the simple answer. Michael O'Leary is - and there is genuinely no better way to describe the man - a troll. If you take David Neeleman's image during his tenure at jetBlue, a sweet everyman trying to improve the experience by sitting in on flights and giving up his salary to employee medical funds, Michael O'Leary is the literal exact opposite of him on every point. A self-described "gobshite" and "obnoxious little bollocks" who has admitted to "not liking" aeroplanes, Michael O'Leary is a cruel, selfish, belligerent, publicity-seeking freakazoid on a mission to piss off everyone in Europe which has so far been largely successful.

I don't want anything I say about the man to come off as positive. Michael O'Leary is a wealthy ghoul (and, yes, he was born wealthy, no rags in his tale) who publicly berates, mistreats, and underpays his staff. He has expressed prejudice against racial and religious minorities, fat and disabled passengers, women, and just about anyone who expects to be treated with some measure of dignity. He has committed legitimate crimes, like impersonating journalists. He denies climate change and has accumulated his massive wealth by abusing the pilots and cabin crew who keep Ryanair adequate. In 2010 Ryanair was named one of the least ethical companies in the world. The fact that he is so absurd as to be hilarious isn't an endorsement or a defense of him.

That said, here is a short, curated list of Michael O'Leary's, and Ryanair's broadly (as their public image is really an extension of his and vice versa) most Ryanair shenanigans:

O'Leary installed a taxicab license plate on his luxury car and driving it in the bus lane to avoid traffic.

Advertisements have taken open and somewhat sneering shots at other major European airlines, like Lufthansa ('bye by Late-hansa'), British Airways ('expensive BAstards'), and the now-defunct Sabena (using a reference to the famous Manneken Pis statue). These have not been simple comparisons but outright name-calling.

One time they advertised sales to 'sunny' vacation destinations, like Norway.

Generally, their advertisements push so many boundaries that they were once found to have committed seven violations of advertising law in just two years, and I'm shocked they didn't begin an ad campaign centring around this dubious achievement.

They frequently misbrand airports way outside of major cities as being in that major city, with the most insane example being "Vienna Bratislava" - yes, Bratislava, the one in Slovakia.

Pilots are forced to pay for simulator checks while cabin crew are forced to pay for uniforms and training. Employees are even forbidden from charging their phones from office sockets, apparently.

Sometimes passengers are forced to carry their own luggage to the planes! Not carryons, luggage.

O'Leary, in a bold move, outright denied that the 2010 eruption of Eyjafjallajökull had created a massive cloud of volcanic ash hazardous to airplanes (it very obviously had).

He also said he would like for there to be a recession, since it would let Ryanair keep costs low. He said this in 2008.

One time he said travel agents ("fuckers") should be shot .

O'Leary claimed that Ryanair would begin offering business class, featuring "beds and blowjobs". I'm personally not sure I would want a Ryanair blowjob. That sounds really horrible.

Also, bold coming from an airline with no seatback pockets.

Apparently they tried to get planes delivered with no window shades (though they weren't able to because of regulations).

They've floated the idea of standing seats. I don't believe this will or indeed could ever happen but it definitely is truly dystopian.

Ryanair keeps trying to buy Aer Lingus. They keep failing, and they keep trying. Obviously, everyone in Ireland has a vested interest in making sure this does not happen.

Fundamentally, Ryanair doesn't care. They can and will essentially throw tantrums to get airports to charge them lower operating fees and if they can't get an airport to do this they just won't operate there. It's like negotiating with a seven-year-old. Except that seven-year-old is Europe's largest airline.

They wanted to buy the C919. This isn't, like, a bad thing, it's just really strange for a hardcore Boeing loyalist airline and I can't imagine how it would save them money.

image: Robot8A This is the interior of a Ryanair plane. Note the safety cards attached to the seatbacks due to the lack of pockets, plus additional adverts on the seatbacks and overhead bins like this is a sports match in a massive stadium. It's also just quite ugly.

Fundamentally, Ryanair is just perpetually doing Ryanair things. Why is Ryanair? Because Ryanair is one giant publicity stunt. A couple of people answered my question by referencing the CEO saying he'd like to charge people to use the toilet, and that's sort of true in the sense that he's said he'd like to do this, but he's always been pretty clear that it's a publicity stunt:

Short of committing murder, negative publicity sells more seats than positive publicity.

Like, it's a bit. He's doing a bit. He's 100% in on the joke. For every one of the more particularly insane claims, like charging to use the toilets, he's outright denied it. Even some claims that are pretty borderline are ones he's contradicted at other points. He's a legitimate bigot who's created one of the most nightmarish work environments out there and just wants to suck money out of people by any means necessary, and he's indefensible, but that's not really what people talk about when they talk about Ryanair. They talk about charging for toilets.

Charging for toilets continues to be the number one story that resurfaces in the press and it’s the gift that keeps on giving. We’ve never done it, but it keeps coming up on social networks every three or four months, the media picks up on it and then someone writes a story on it.

Which I think is misplaced effort when he's also, for instance, a climate change denier who forces disabled passengers to pay for wheelchairs. And I don't believe for a second his climate change denial is based on legitimate convictions - he just doesn't want to have to spend more money. He would absolutely knowingly feed the world into an incinerator if it lowered costs.

Anyway, here is a picture of him having his face violently introduced to a pie.

image: Olivier Hoslet

All of this said, there's no such thing as an ethical airline - he's just playing it up to the extreme for essentially business clickbait.

I feel like the best example of Ryanair's general...Ryanairness is their Twitter account, which I have a sneaking suspicion Michael O'Leary runs himself to save money. It's mostly composed of firing back at complaining customers, Formula 1 opinions, and jabs at everyone from Boris Johnson to the British Museum. (Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point.) Their description, 'we sell seats, not windows', references the frequent complaints about seat 11A, which does not have a window. (To be fair, their website does warn you about this.) Their weird window situation actually generated my all-time favourite Ryanair tweet.

Here are some other winners.

No, seriously, I think Michael O'Leary might be writing these. I also really don't know how to feel about the fact that it appears someone at the airline - potentially O'Leary himself - has made an edit of a yassified Ryanair plane.

But at the end of the day, it's Ryanair. O'Leary himself has described aeroplanes as "a bus with wings on". As one individual tweeted,

THANK YOU to [Ryanair], for letting me see Europe for Feck All

and that's why I do think I genuinely have primarily positive feelings about Ryanair as a product rather than a company - you truly do see Europe for Feck All. (O'Leary has claimed both that he would introduce $10 transatlantic tickets to the US, and that he would make tickets literally free and make all profits from ancillary fees - while neither has yet happened, it takes one hell of an airline to claim that it's on the table.)

Ryanair isn't affordable, it's dime store. It's an airline you bought from Wish.com. It's the free pen you stole from a cup of identical pens at the bank which stops working within days. You're not just in steerage, you're on a tramp steamer. You get exactly the misery you pay for, and you go from one place to a different place.

And it's worth noting that Ryanair has at least one positive feature - safety.

When I ran my first questionnaire I asked respondents what type of airline they thought was most dangerous. Other than what's shown there was also an option for mainline full service carriers; unsurprisingly, nobody chose this. There were 50 respondents but 5 declined to answer this particular question, so the sample size isn't really significant enough to draw any conclusions from, but it's what I have. (I kind of wish I could stop to re-run this with my current follower count, but this post is actually a request. No, not for my wonderful beloved followers - for my dentist. Not joking. Thank you for making my teeth not have holes in them.)

20% of respondents indicated that low-cost or ultra-low-cost airlines probably had the worst safety records and practices. It's completely understandable why someone would think this, but without going into the actual statistics of plane crashes this simply isn't true, and in fact they're the safest category on here. While it obviously depends on the specific airline, low-cost carriers as a category are no less safe than mainline carriers. This is despite the fact that they tend to fly shorter flights and thus they operate more takeoffs and landings, which are the points in a flight where the majority of crashes occur.

How does that make sense? Well, part of it is that the airline industry has gotten very close to eliminating accidental crashes via innovations in technology and an incredible safety culture built on years of hard lessons. The world has paid in blood for crew resource management and GPWS, but it has paid, and now the sorts of crashes that would have been unremarkable just 20 years ago are completely unthinkable. Actually, in the 2010s it's quite possible more people were killed by planes brought down deliberately than accidents. But beyond that, the costs low-cost airlines cut tend to be ones that aren't safety-critical. They tend to operate shiny new fleets (better fuel efficiency, purchased in bulk) with large maintenance teams (shorter turnaround and less planes grounded for long periods of time) at less congested airports (lower operating fees) and indeed when I think about famous accidents that involve massive cutting of corners it's nearly always full-service airlines, save for egregious examples of low-cost industry pariahs out of business within a few years. Focusing on eliminating operating costs by making the passenger experience cramped and miserable allows for pouring all your budget into running a smooth and well-oiled operation.

The axiom "if you think safety is expensive, try a crash" is often attributed to EasyJet founder Stelios Haji-Ioannou. And it's true. Beyond the cost of writing off a plane, of financial compensation to survivors and families, of lawyers and PR, of having to update your operation to make sure it never happens again...as O'Leary himself said, all press is good press...short of murder. A heinous, clearly negligent crash, on the other hand, can kill an airline as easily as it can kill people. It has done in the past and that threat will never stop being there. Airlines go out of business all the time for any number of mundane financial reasons. In many cases margins simply do not allow for something like a crash. Crashes have even ended the lives of deeply historic, beloved, well-established nationalized flag carriers, so this particular sword of Damocles could cut Ryanair's control cables just as easily. And they've managed to avoid this fate, with zero passenger fatalities and only one written-off airplane - the 2008 crash of flight 4102, caused by a birdstrike during landing.

And I'll be honest, "miserable and safe but a tenth the price of a train ticket from Boston to New York" (I am unfortunately not exaggerating) is a pretty appealing package to my non-millionaire self.

...so why do their planes look like this? I'm dead serious, it vexes me. I don't know what to make of this. Hey, did you remember I'm an airline livery review blog? Look, I can't help myself. Low-cost carriers as a topic, and how they're viewed, is probably the most interesting facet of the aviation industry to me. I feel like if I had infinite time and resources I might genuinely sit down, hit the databases and archives, run a few studies, and write a book about it - it's fascinating, and low-cost carriers are something that only economists and businesspeople seem to want to talk about. I think it's about time someone approached them through a lens of history and social psychology. There's not really academic value to what I do here, on Runway Runway, my tumblr blog where I call Lufthansa planes ugly, but if something doesn't exist I will create it even if my sample size is 50.

So how about how they're literally viewed - like, what their planes look like? Well, here are some low cost carriers I've reviewed. Notice something? They're bright and eye-catching. They don't take themselves too seriously. They're fun. The original low-cost carrier literally painted big smiles on their bright pink and orange planes.

Okay, yes, they don't all look like this. WestJet and IndiGo, for example, are fairly normal-looking. And there are full-service carriers like TAP Air Portugal (and condor. Absolutely condor.) that I would say have a pretty low-costy look to them. There is nothing wrong with that. Low-cost liveries are frequently colourful and exciting, with much more thought put into distinctiveness and charm instead of a passionless appeal to dignity. Indeed a lot of my most highly esteemed liveries, including all the ones pictured above, are low-cost airlines. GOL, for example, is a snappy, eye-catchy design in bright colours that's clearly not meant to look expensive. The same goes for Breeze Airways. There's even more examples out there I've yet to touch on, like EasyJet; ValuJet; Scoot; Spirit Airlines; Frontier Airlines; PLAY (and the late WOW air); Volotea; airasia, so on - to be dignified or clean is not the goal here. Even the names of low-cost carriers frequently are very hastily stapled together and generic, like EasyJet or Super Air Jet or Wings Air; JetSmart; SkyUp; Smartwings; FastJet; Sky Airline (just one!); MYAirlines; the classic ValuJet; flyadeal; and the legendary jet2.com, making no attempt at all to seem as if they have a legacy to fall back on. And there's even more out-there specimens, like Mango or even Nok Air. Many of them have specific themes, like Batik Air, Tigerair, or Buzz, which isn't something you see on full-service carriers, which brand themselves on national identity and the promise of luxury and good service - which is boring. Low-cost airlines, if they want to succeed, have to do something to make people remember they exist.

This is the fundamental shape taken by the low-cost product, which operates with few laurels to rest on and a mission of getting people to remember their website at any cost. Much like a can of Arizona iced "tea" guaranteed to cost ninety-nine cents, literally cheaper than a bottle of water, the package it comes in makes no attempt to look classy. And I am a heavy tea drinker who considers myself fairly discerning, whose favourite type of tea is gyokuro yamashiro (which is absurdly expensive), but you literally can't beat Arizona! It's potable and it's ninety-nine cents and it sort of resembles tea if you don't think too much about it and Massachusetts summers are surprisingly hot and the can is pretty and colourful. Sure, I'd rather have Ito En, but that costs normal money and Arizona costs 99 cents, and sometimes that's all I really have, and it gets the job done even if my teeth aren't enjoying the experience. A Wizz Air plane is a can of Arizona iced tea. It is ninety-nine cents and potable.

This isn't Arizona, this is a box of Darjeeling from Harrods. Ryanair outfits their fleet in handsome navy blue and gold. Their logo, an outline of a woman with harp-like wings taking flight, is simple yet elegant, and that feels so very wrong. I actually asked in my questionnaire what the colours of the Ryanair livery were, because I had seen people expressing casually that they weren't sure they could recognize so much as a Ryanair logo, and the results aren't worth showing in a chart because they're basically as good as random. I do want to specifically appreciate the person who answered "I don't remember but it must be whatever the cheapest colour of airplane paint is", though.

But the truth is that they have such a rich palette, and I do mean that in the sense of 'wealthy'. A deep royal blue paired with a saturated gold used as a sparing trim, these are the colours of an overstuffed plush armchair, not a budget airline. Aside from the name on the winglets and the giant billboard wordmark there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that is typical for a low-cost airline. This is not garish advertising, this is stately.

The layout itself is what I call "Deltalike". Delta certainly did not invent this style of livery but they are the carrier I associate most with it, likely due to the fact that I live right by one of their hubs. The Deltalike is a white plane with a painted tail unconnected to the main fuselage body, painted winglets, painted engines, and a painted underbelly large enough still be visible when viewed directly from the side. While a 'true' Deltalike uses a consistent palette for the engines, tail, and underbelly, there is significant variation. The detached tail is, in my opinion, the harbinger of the Deltalike, and I call liveries with an incomplete presentation of Deltalike features Deltalites.

This scheme is not as common as the Lufthansa Line variants but it is still very common, with its popularity probably peaking in the 2010s. Some examples of the true Deltalike include Air Canada, 2006 Icelandair, Azul, the old GOL livery, and jetBlue. Some colour-varied Deltalikes are the old Flair livery, the SAS red engine livery, and British Airways. An example Deltalite is the old Croatia Airlines scheme, which has a painted tail and belly and engines that are sort of painted. Sure, the engines are just grey and a bit of the tail extends onto the body, but it's got the colour concentrated in the right place and it has the painted belly, it's a Deltalite. A lot of liveries have painted engines and detached tails but no painted bellies, and I do consider these to be on the far end of the Deltalike spectrum, but they aren't what I mean when I refer to a Deltalike. They're what brown dwarves are to actual stars - related but not really the same.

Ryanair is a true Deltalike, but I would even call it an elevated Deltalike. The gold trim, like the cord adorning the hems a of a thick brocade smoking jacket, has an effortlessly shallow curve as it trims the rich blue underbelly, larger than that of a typical Deltalike and with a very deliberate shape to it which at the rearmost point covers half the fuselage by height but fades away to a sort of goatee at the front. This is not a plane which sat in a puddle of blue but an intentional cloak impeccably positioned, visible not just from the side but from the front. The engines, instead of being plain or just one colour with a website printed on, large and garish, are the same white and blue with yellow trim, the last traces of the setting sun melting into a glassy deep blue ocean below a stark white sky with which it inexplicably coexists. Sure, the detached tail still looks bad, it always does, but you can ignore it at most angles.

From below the dark blue creates that distinct cetacean effect, a certain brightness-inverted countershading effect, similar to what you see on airlines like KLM and other blue-side-up liveries. The underside doesn't have a huge, legible logo, visible even from the ground on final approach. One of the defining features of the low-cost livery, in my mind, is a large, prominent website. It's tacky and a little pointless (I mean, surely they can Google your airline's name if your wordmark is large enough) but it is downright ubiquitous. Even full-service carriers frequently heavily feature their website, but it's nowhere on a Ryanair plane. That's so, so incredibly weird.

Just...think about it. Their entire identity is outrage marketing. They are the xQc of airlines - bigoted, constantly in the news, and obnoxious. And nobody remembers what their livery looks like because it doesn't look obnoxious. This is like if MrBeast's thumbnails were lovingly curated aesthetically pleasing shots of scenery that could pass for screenshots from an actual film. It's not tacky and cheap and it's not generic and cheap, it's elegant and cheap. And of all airlines to look like this...Ryanair? Seriously? Ryanair?

image: Associated Press

The CEO.

The airplanes.

Do you see what I mean? Do you see why I find this deeply strange? This is not a clickbait plane. This plane is downright unclickable. It has never been clicked. I bet if I covered the name up and showed it to people (again, I wish I'd had the time to do this) I could fool people into thinking this is like United. Hell, I've learned from my other survey that the average person clearly knows less about liveries than I, the Joker of liveries, do, and can't identify basically any from memory. I could probably fool at least one or two people into thinking this is Singapore Airlines. I may try this on a few co-workers and then get back to you.

How did we get here? I have no clue. While Ryanair did start out as a charter carrier rather than a low-cost airline, and they always had blue and yellow as their colours, their very early liveries were just white planes with wordmarks.

This livery seems to have appeared very early in the history of low-cost Ryanair. Unfortunately, I can't date it precisely - the only thing I can say is that the earliest photograph I could find in this livery was from 1994. Based on the fact that their planes were photographed in different liveries right up to then, including this very brief TAM-like BAC 1-11 livery, I think 1994 is most likely the point they committed to it.

Oh, Adam Rowden, what a different world you lived in.

Even for 1994 this is a pretty conservative livery. Sure, this was before the real boom of bright and venomous flying billboards, but it's still strange. And Ryanair is no stranger to literal flying billboards in the form of logojets for such companies as Vodafone and Hertz, often sort of hideous ones, though I imagine these days nobody would ever want to associate with them like that.

And they never changed it, except that they did - to the modern, softer curve. This I can pinpoint with much more accuracy. It was changed in mid-2003 as new aircraft were delivered, while the older livery was phased out together with the secondhand airframes which wore it. I do not understand this at all. If any airline were to just make the decision to go full circus tent and be as garish as possible it should be Ryanair, right? Ryanair is a brand incapable of cowardly behavior. But they look far more sober than even the average modern flag carrier livery. I guess they don't think they need an eye-catching livery, but I just don't buy that as a full explanation. Imagine the news they'd make for introducing something truly heinous. I think their genuine best move would just be to put a huge picture of Michael O'Leary's face, blown up massively and poorly aligned with visible JPEG artefacts, all over their fuselages. All of Europe would be furious. So why? Why is this the situation?

So what's the verdict? This may be the hardest decision I've made so far. The options here range widely. I'll lay them out.

If I were rating this based on pure visual appeal, I would give it a B-. I am dead serious - this is a visually pleasing, well-balanced livery, simple yet elegant. The detached tail is my only major complaint. But I think Saudia's planes are quite pretty and I graded them low because I think they fail at representing their airline or having a distinct identity, so this cannot be my sole criterion.

I almost want to give them an F because of just how un-Ryanair they are, like how Copa's livery is literally not the Copa livery, but that feels wrong because that's still the Ryanair livery, it's not just a refusal to design a livery at all.

Do I marry these two into a tepid union destined for either divorce or a dramatic act of arson after a seeming eternity of languishing in mutual dysfunction in Tallahassee? I really don't want to do that, because attempting to balance these factors betrays the fact of their contradiction, the mental strain I've been afflicted with over this simple, pointless choice with zero consequences except maybe one of my followers disagreeing with me, which is fine. Unlike certain individuals I will not call you swear words and say you're an idiot.

The final option is maybe my least favourite of them all, because it's capitulation. It's admitting Ryanair is special, just the most annoying golf-ball-sized hailstone in the blizzard of absurd and comical frustrations which is the airline industry. But I just don't know what to make of this miserable little pest, this plague on the patience and knees of the traveling public.

Z. FUCK YOU IT'S RYANAIR.

It defies categories by being good, but being Ryanair. I hate that. I hate it, I hate their beastly little CEO, and I dislike that their planes are sleek, elegant, and could easily pass for an airline that doesn't instruct stewardesses to kick their passengers' shins as they walk down the aisles. If I am buying a ten-euro plane ticket I do not think the plane should look like this, teleologically speaking. At the end of the day I just have no better way to quantify my feelings.

Prick.

#tarmac fashion week #grade: z #era: 1990s #era: 2000s #era: 2010s #era: 2020s #region: europe #ryanair #low cost carriers #ulccs #deltalike #cabin fever #long haul #questionnaire 1 #questionnaires #double sunrise #yeah I guess. it goes in that tag sure

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johannestevans · 6 months

Note

hi, unless i’m imaging things i think you’ve mentioned having written an article about different treatments for vaginal atrophy. do you have a link?

Hey there, Anon!

I have a big, exhaustive guide to vaginal and vulvar stimulation, and I do discuss the impact of vaginal atrophy and a few options toward treating it, but it doesn't go into specific detail.

Vaginal atrophy is caused by decreased estrogen production, and effectively what happens is that the soft, wet tissue on the inside of your vagina - the parts that are formed of mucous membranes - become thinner and dryer. This can lead to pain during sex, difficulty getting sufficiently loose or lubricated for penetration, and it can make the skin there tear a lot more easily, because when it's thinner it's less flexible and has less support from the surrounding tissues, not to mention the increased friction from lack of lubrication.

It's important to remember that while we're at our wettest during sexual arousal, the inside of the vagina - much like the head of the penis inside the foreskin - should always be a little bit wet. That wetness is really important to the vagina performing its regular activities, keeping itself clean and healthy, and not receiving too much friction just from things like walking around.

Even your rectum has important mucous inside it to keep things running a bit more smoothly and to ensure it's never too dry, and this is why too many enemas in a short period can be bad for your anal and rectal health, and your anus is a lot more closed naturally than your vagina, you know?

While more lube during sex is often the first thing people bring up in response to vaginal dryness, that's actually only one facet of potential issues - for people who are on T, for people going through menopause, for people who for whatever reason have an E deficiency or insufficient E in this area, it can cause other problems too - your vaginal canal might get a bit shorter, muscle weakness in the area (especially of the pelvic floor) can make you need to pee more often and more urgently, you might have some spotting, abdominal pain, uncomfortable or burning sensations when urinating.

In combination with the fact that vaginal atrophy can make you more prone to injury, your bacterial flora can be thrown out of whack by this process too, and these are really really important to maintaining a healthy vagina, producing appropriate amounts of discharge, but also to fighting off infection - vaginal atrophy is also associated with recurrent UTIs and other infections.

So, what can we do?

Firstly, pelvic floor exercises are unbelievably helpful, and everyone should be doing them regularly, regardless of gender or genital make-up.

Here's an NHS guide """for women""" but it mostly doesn't use any gendered language for your actual body parts:

These exercises will help strengthen your pelvic floor, and strengthening these muscles will not only help with stuff like potential urinary incontinence or give you a tighter grip that you can better control during penetration (more control in this area can also help you if you're prone to reflexive tightness under stress, e.g. with vaginismus), but when those muscles are stronger and have more density to them, they provide more support to the surrounding area, which can help blood flow and give more structure to the tissues we're trying to support.

Secondly, as well as good lubricants, there also exist vaginal moisturizers - depending on the extent of your atrophy and how much it's a problem (it might be worse, for example, at some points of the month than others), these might help - you apply them every few days and they help your vagina maintain its lubrication.

If pelvic floor exercises and lube and moisturizer isn't helping, your next step is different forms of estrogen - your medical provider will need to tell you what's available in your area and to you particularly, but there's honestly all sorts.

You can get topical estrogen gels and creams that you smear inside the vagina, you can get suppositories that you insert and are then absorbed, you can get rings that you insert and then stay in place for a few months, slowly releasing E over time.

If you're using testosterone, it's more likely that your medical provider would suggest these latter than taking E orally - the great thing about these topical applications is that the E stays very localised to your pelvic region where you need it, much like when you get an IUS and the progesterone stays relatively localised. Taking E orally, you're introducing estrogen to your whole system, and depending on your current hormone cocktail, it might be harder to figure out dosage and effect, especially over time.

If your medical provider hears you're experiencing vaginal atrophy and, if you say that lube and moisturizer aren't sufficient, they immediately suggest moving to vaginal dilators or pain killers, or if they talk about easing your "discomfort" during sex (especially with a presumed male partner) without talking about pleasure or satisfaction, or especially if you've brought up vaginal atrophy for reasons other than sex and their priority immediately jumps to the imaginary partner they want you to be satisfying, I would recommend getting a new medical provider as soon as possible, and probably telling that one to shut the fuck up.

Many doctors, as we know, are scumbags, but some particularly cunty ones' automatic focus for someone with a vagina is that you're providing sex to your (cishet male) partner - they automatically focus less on your pleasure or satisfaction, let alone your health, and more on the idea of reducing pain you're experiencing enough that you'll let that partner fuck you as much as they desire to.

This is not a medical provider that has your best interests at heart, and if they don't afford you humanity in this area, I would have doubts as to others.

If you're having difficulty with a medical provider, I would always, always advise:

Bringing a chaperone with you. You're entitled to a chaperone, you can always bring one, a lot of the time they'll want to say a chaperone can stay out of the room "for your comfort/privacy" but for your comfort and safety, you can also bring them in with you. A chaperone might be a friend or family member or partner, and they don't even need to say anything a lot of the time - just having a witness there can make a medical provider think twice about bullying a patient. I've served as a medical chaperone for quite a few friends, especially because I'm a thin white man, and even as a faggot, doctors humanise me slightly more than they do friends of mine who are perceived as women, who are POC, who are fat, etc.

Ask your doctor the reasoning behind denying a course of treatment, and ask them to document that they are refusing treatment at this time. Once they write it down, it becomes something that's documented and that they can't deny in court, which tends to make them a bit more flexible.

Don't be afraid to go into the doctor having done a bit of your own research. Doctors will tell you not to google things as many doctors have fragile egos and become nervous at empowered patients - with particularly egotistic doctors, you can always phrase your research in the form of questions to make them feel like you're appropriately aggrandising them. "Are there suppositories for this, or creams? Could my UTIs be related to my vaginal dryness? My mother mentioned vaginal atrophy during her menopause, but I didn't really understand what it was. Could you explain? Could that be me?"

Cisgender women are generally better doctors than cisgender men (statistically, despite being underpaid and underrepresented), but obviously cisgender people are often... very cisgender, and cisgender women can be even more painfully cisgender than cisgender men. Most providers won't bat an eyelid at you requesting a female doctor over a male one for a gynecological concern, but you can't go around asking for the most clocky doctor they've got in the back.

What you can do if you're having trouble at your GP is look for your local GUM (Genito-Urinary Medicine) clinic, and see if they'd see you and talk to you about vaginal atrophy - I know several trans people who work as nurses and practitioners in the GUM field, and in general, GUM practitioners will be way more chill about this field.

Unlike your GP, there's no chance of them getting flustered, nervous, or religiously conservative about sex or genitalia, and GUM practitioners are often more chill about queer, trans, and intersex patients because they already see us a lot more, whether because queer people are more on-the-ball about STI testing, or just because many of us enter sex work, and they're more likely to see sex workers. The benefit of this, though, is that you're almost certainly not going to be their first or only patient with x or y element of your body or identity, which can mean they humanise you a bit better and are generally less shit.

I hope that helps, Anon!

#musings #anonymous

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bookish-whore · 2 years

Text

Falling Part V

Azriel x Reader

Words: 4.3k

Warnings: slight self-destructive behavior, angst, Azriel being a dumb male

A/N: Not gonna lie guys when I initially wrote this chapter, I had the worst writers block and I ended up deleting it all last night and starting it over (which produced this) but I am so excited with where its headed. This chapter is somewhat filler content, but I promise I am putting some things into motion for later! I know I write this literally every fic, but I appreciate you all so much for loving this story and I am so overwhelmed with the support it has gotten. My requests are open so feel free to send all the asks <3

Also, I am almost at 400 followers WHAT?! And I think I’ll do a little personal Q&A or something so you guys can get to know me a little bit <3 I’ll update you in a post soon!

Previous parts here -> Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

--------------------------------------------------

Last night seemed like a dream.

I woke up to bright light streaming through my window, my indication that the sun was already high in the sky. I guess I had slept far longer than I meant to. I stretch out my limbs, the events of last night returning to my memory as I looked at my night table where I had conveniently placed Iremia. I remembered then that it was real. Azriel and Elain were engaged. Engaged. I bring my hands to rub the sleep from my eyes, dragging them down my face and letting out a sigh. I could stay in bed all day and wallow in self-pity, but I decided that I wouldn’t continue to let them have so much control over my life, I would continue to heed Nesta and Lucien’s advice. With that decided, I take a quick bath and get dressed before heading to the dining room to find something to eat.

I entered the room surprised to find Nesta sitting in her usual position, Cassian next to her holding her hand and rubbing gentle circles along the back of it while they spoke.

“Good morning” I announce as I take my seat across from them

“Morning y/n” Cassian says while piling more food onto his plate

“So?” Nesta asked as I piled eggs, bacon, and bread with jam on my plate.

“So?” I repeat back to her, I know that she wants details about last night but I’m going to at least make her be direct about it.

“How did it go?” She clarifies, at this Cassian looks between the two of us clearly also wanting to hear the details.

“I couldn’t do it Nes, not after the announcement” she rolled her eyes but let me continue “It’s just the timing didn’t seem right, and I know I know you’re going to say the timing will never be right, but Nes you didn’t see him. He looked so happy, so carefree, and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin it by dropping this bombshell on him.”

“Look y/n, I love you and I will support you with whatever you decide to do.”

“I feel like a -but- is coming” I interject

“but-” she continues with one of her signature looks. “Don’t you think it would be worse to wait? That it will only be a bigger deal if they actually go through with getting married? Maybe it would hurt everyone involved less if you told them before planning and preparations are made? I mean he deserves to make an informed decision about what to do about the bond”

“I don’t know Nes.” I look to Cassian who is silently eating his breakfast “wait a second- what do you mean actually go through with getting married? Do you think they won’t go through with it?”

“All I know is that Feyre and Rhys are preparing for the worst-case scenario. I mean she is a mated female and if Lucien wanted to, he could invoke a blood duel as per Autumn Court tradition. Not to mention tension among the courts is still fragile after the treaty business last year.”

“Lucien wouldn’t do that; he doesn’t see mated females as his property in that way.” I said “Also, he isn’t technically an Autumn Court male anymore. He is the high lord apparent of the Day Court.”

“Regardless of his court standing, he is still her mate. He also has the strongest of relationships with the human realm and I don’t know if Rhys and Feyre are prepared to lose an asset like him due to Elain’s need to rebel.” She said matter of factly.

“What do you think Cass?” I asked the male.

He went still a moment, his brows furrowing as though he was debating what exactly to say in this situation. “I think that Nes has a point, I mean the longer you wait the more people may get hurt by the news and I think that he deserves to know; he has been infatuated with the idea of mates since we were younger and I don’t know what changed his mind, but I think he is just looking for commitment and Elain is looking to rebel, and they just found each other. I also stand by my previous statement during training, I love him dearly, he is my brother, but gods damn is he an idiot sometimes.”

I can’t help but laugh at his statement. “I’ll consider it” I look between the two of them “I promise I will think about it, and I’ll talk to Rhys and Feyre to see what they think.”

The couple nodded as we continued with breakfast. We switched the conversation to training and general news. Once we had finished, we went our separate ways. I thought a lot about what they had said and sent a note to find the high lord and lady and ask for their advice with this whole thing. I immediately got a response that appeared in Rhysand’s elegant script offering to winnow me to the River House this afternoon to meet them in his office. I immediately accepted sending the magical paper back to its sender and decided to indulge myself in a book until the meeting time.

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I hadn’t realized how many hours had passed until the high lord materialized in the library. I put my book on a nearby table and offered a simple greeting. Rhys held out his arm which I took without hesitation, the familiar pulling sensation taking over as we winnowed directly to the high lord’s office. When we arrived, I turned to find Feyre entering the room with Nyx. The little prince reaching his arms out. I hadn’t noticed before, but his wings were getting stronger, and he was gaining some control over them as he flapped them in an attempt to launch himself into his father’s waiting arms.

“Hey y/n” the high lady said handing Nyx to her mate who beamed at the boy now securely in his embrace.

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure” Rhysand asked, Feyre simply nodded in agreement.

“Well, you know that I love you both, and that I value your opinion.” The two nodded listening intently “After Solstice, after the engagement, I think I am just looking for some advice about what to do about Azriel. You know whether I should still tell him about the bond or just leave it alone. I talked to Cassian and Nesta earlier and now I’m asking you what you think.”

The two look at each other, silently communicating as they tended to do. Feyre was the one to speak “You know I love my family; I love both of my sisters but there are just so many logistics involved with this whole union. I mean you are Azriel’s mate whether you tell him and whether or not he accepts it and the same goes for Elain, she is welcome to reject the bond with Lucien but to me it seems like she is just running away from the idea altogether.” She took a breath “and Lucien, I mean he is not only my friend but also an ally of this court and he has every right to invoke the blood duel should he want to. its just spiraled, the whole thing from a harmless flirtation to a disaster.” She looked at her mate who gave her a nod of approval.

“Look you two, I don’t know where this idea came from that Lucien is going to challenge Az but he isn’t an Autumn Court male anymore and finds the blood duel repulsive and when has he given any indication that he would do something like that. When he got to the night court, he let Elain have her space and he hasn’t pushed the bond on her. He’s never tried to force anything on her, and he wouldn’t now just because they are engaged.”

“You have a valid point” Feyre said “But the whole reason you came here was to ask our opinion on your situation. I think both Rhys and I agree that you should still tell him. I mean had he not proposed, you would have told him at the solstice party. We think that he deserves to have all the information before he makes a big decision like this, like marriage.”

I nod my head as she speaks, her words echoing that of Cassian and Nesta’s from this morning. “I guess I have a lot to think about”

“Look, no matter what happens just know we are here for you to help you through this” Rhysand says breaking his silence.

“I’m scared” I admit to them

“Well look at it this way” Feyre begins “at least you will be the one to tell him and not a Suriel” she gives Rhys a mischievous look as he grins

“I was going to tell you…eventually” he said “The Suriel just got to you first AND I was gravely injured if you recall”

Feyre let out a laugh, pressing a kiss to his lips and to Nyx’s forehead. “I think it is all going to work out y/n”

I let out a long breath “Okay, well now that that is settled, hand me that baby because I need time with my nephew”

Rhys grins handing Nyx to me, I bounce the babe on my knees and enjoy some family time with the three of them for the remainder of the night.

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It had been a month since my conversations with Nesta and Feyre about what to do and I was still no closer to a decision. I had even gone as far as making pro and con lists which were scattered across my desk with various reasons why I should tell him, and why I shouldn’t. Reason number one being that they seemed so happy. Just yesterday they had announced that they intended to marry a week after Starfall, which was only a few months away.

I continued thinking about my reasons as I got ready for the day. I was going to be helping Gwyn with research in the library today. I had to admit I was excited to spend the day surrounded by books and to be around Gwyn, I had been so busy with the new developments with Azriel that I had neglected time with my friend, and I intended to make up for it.

I was putting on my shoes in a chair in the corner of my bedroom when I heard a rustling on my desk. I looked over as a letter appeared on top of a pile of other correspondence, my name scrawled across the front with handwriting I immediately recognized. I jumped up from my position taking the letter in my hands as I tore open the envelope and couldn’t help the smile on my face as I read it.

My Dearest Y/N,

I hope you are doing well. I have found myself missing your company in the past weeks since my relocation to my father’s court. I have been keeping busy, learning the history of the court, and enjoying the vast library, it really is unmatched. I think you would love it. No, I know you would love it here. Anyways, what updates do you have from the Night Court? I take it everyone is well. I’m sure it has been hard on you these weeks since the engagement and I want to remind you that you have a friend, a friend who happens to know exactly what you’re going through and one that has come to care greatly for you. please remember that you always have a place in my court should you need to escape.

Yours,

Lucien

I made myself a mental note to send a response as I checked the time realizing I was late and made my way downstairs to the library.

I was immediately greeted by Gwyn, the red head smiling at me in one of her big genuine smiles, her eyes sparkling with the gesture, and she pulled me into a tight hug. “Oh, I have missed you so much y/n” she says

“I missed you too Gwyn”

“Okay you have so much to catch me up on” she says practically bouncing with excitement over our girl talk today which we did between tasks for Clotho and finding some research for another priestess Gwyn is helping. I told her everything, I needed another opinion about what to do from someone not currently in a mating bond. Someone who might understand my reservations a little better.

“How do you feel about it all?” she asks as we work on reshelving books in the lower levels.

“I feel…” I take a breath “I don’t know I guess I feel conflicted, on one hand I want him to know maybe for my own benefit, but I mean is it fair of me to just make this choice for him? What if he feels like Elain? Like the bond is a burden he wants to run from? I don’t know if I can deal with that kind of rejection. On the other hand, I don’t tell him and continue my life like it is now and let him continue his life that he chose with Elain but what if one day it snaps for him and he wants to explore it, but they have a life, maybe a family? I am just confused and scared, and I don’t know what to do. The consensus has been that I need to tell him and that’s what I am leaning towards, but I just don’t know Gwyn.”

“I think that the only person who can decide what to do is you.” the priestess says “I mean you get all this advice about what’s fair for him. But what is fair to you?”

I was pondering over her words when suddenly a note materialized on the cart. I recognized the script immediately and for a moment I forgot how to breathe.

Meet me on the roof

-Az

“What do you think he wants?” I ask

“Only one way to find out” she says “I think you should figure out what you want y/n, I think you two should figure out if you’re even compatible before you decide. Maybe spend time with him without the influence of other people, just you two to see how you interact. Maybe it’ll help you to make your decision. Remember that mating bonds were initially put in place by the mother for prime breeding benefits, we live in a modern world and maybe it’s an antiquated concept now”

“Thanks Gwyn” I said pulling the female into another hug “I guess I have somewhere to be”

“Good luck” she says disappearing behind a bookshelf, continuing with her work. I take a deep breath and make my way upstairs.

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I couldn’t help the thoughts running through my head as I made my way up to the roof, the most dominant one being what If he knows. I try to not look concerned as I open the door, the sunlight catching me off guard for a moment as I make out his figure in our usual spot, sitting on the edge of the roof with his legs dangling over the side. His wings looking powerful and poised behind him.

His shadows immediately slither over to greet me, as they do, he turns from his position to look at me approaching. “Hey y/n” he says patting the empty space next to him.

I carefully set myself down beside him, hoping he can’t hear how loud my heart is beating. After a moment of silence, I manage to say “So, why did you ask me here?”

“To be honest…I’m not really sure” He says “I feel like you are one of the only people I can really talk to you know. The others, I love them, and they are my family, but I know they don’t approve of me right now.”

“Don’t approve of you why?”

“I know they have reservations about me and Elain. I mean months ago Rhys cornered me in his office and basically told me to stay away from her, and now we’re engaged. I know he and Feyre are probably figuring out the logistics of it all, you know because she is mated to Lucien.”

“I may have heard something like that from them.” I say “Can I just ask you why, if you know how your family feels and you have these reservations then why go through it”

“I think I’m in love with her”

“This seems like a lot of trouble for you think, I mean if you are going to vow to spend your life with someone shouldn’t you know you love them?” I asked him.

“I think that conversation we had a few weeks ago has really stuck with me, you know about mates. I can’t help but feel nostalgic. I spent hundreds of years certain I would find my mate and then I gave up on it and decided to try things with Elain and maybe I feel guilty. Because if I were in Lucien’s position, I would hate the male and I would be in absolute hell watching my mate fall in love with and intend to marry someone else.”

“I know Lucien doesn’t hate you, he may dislike you because of his instincts but he trusts Elain to make her own decisions. He would never force her to accept the bond or choose him unless it is what she truly wanted.”

“You talk with Lucien?” he asks, looking over at me, his eyes meeting mine.

“Of course, I mean we’re friends and have been for some time now”

“I guess I didn’t notice”

“There are a lot of things you don’t notice” I say quietly under my breath.

“What was that?” he asks

“Oh nothing” I reply, “but Az if you feel guilty you can pull out you know. You don’t have to go through with any of this if you feel that way.”

“I know, its just” he pauses taking a deep breath “I don’t think anyone else would love me, maybe this is it. Maybe this is my one chance at some kind of happiness”

“I don’t think the universe works that way Az” he looks at me “Besides there are plenty of people who love you, myself included”

“I know that y/n, I just feel like I’m making a huge mistake, every instinct is screaming that this is wrong, and I can’t shake it.”

“I should give you Iremia, seems like you could use the tranquility” I say jokingly

“That’s what you named it? The dagger?” he asked

I nod my head in confirmation “Yeah, I figured I could use a little calm in my life so why not”

“It’s a great name” he says.

“Look Az, maybe you should call off the wedding if you are having these doubts. No one would blame you for taking the time to think about it, this is the rest of your life you are talking about, and you should be sure you want to spend it with Elain. Especially if you’re having such strong doubts.”

“I just don’t want to hurt anyone” he says softly

“I know the feeling” I say bringing my eyes down to look at my hands.

“Y/n?” he says my name softly, almost a whisper and I turn my head to face him. He is looking at me and his eyes met mine, and I noticed them drift lower before his gaze is resting on my lips. My breath became caught in my throat. Was he going to kiss me? I thought as his mouth parted slightly, his breath becoming uneven as he began to lean into me.

“Az?” A soft voice said interrupting the moment.

“Elain” he said quickly, practically jumping away from me and making his way over to her placing a kiss to her temple “What are you doing up here?” he asked her.

“We have dinner plans…remember?” she replied, “I figured I would save you a trip by coming here.” She looked over at me, I was rising from the mat “Hello y/n” she said politely

I immediately felt embarrassed and fought the redness rising on my face as I gave her a nonchalant greeting back.

“Thanks for the talk y/n” Azriel says “I’ll see you in training tomorrow”

I give them both a small smile as they depart his shadows swirling as he winnows them away. The conversation runs over again in my head. Did he suspect something? Was he going to kiss me? Would I have let him?

I make my way downstairs to my room to change before dinner with the Inner Circle, minus Elain and Azriel who apparently had other plans for the evening. My thoughts no clearer than they were this morning.

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Once bathed and changed I made it to the dining room to find it already full of people. Nesta and Cass were in their usual seats as were Feyre, Rhys, Nyx, Mor, and even Amren to my surprise. I took up my seat across from Nesta and began to fill my plate.

The conversation was normal, mostly updates about Nyx and about the Valkyries training about new developments in the Hewn city and general news. Until Feyre cleared her throat drawing my attention. “So, y/n, what is new on the Azriel front?” she tried to sound nonchalant about it, but the air was thick with tension.

“Here we go” I said rolling my eyes as I prepared for the same speech I had gotten for weeks from them about how I needed to do the right thing and tell him and basically just get it over with.

“Clearly you have all made your opinions on the matter known. So why don’t you all just tell me what to do.” I look around the room meeting their gaze, my tone elevating as I continued “If anyone has an idea of how I should better deal with this please let me know because I feel like I am losing my mind.” My voice breaks but I take a deep breath and continue. “I know what you all think about it, but it isn’t your decision to make. If and when I tell him about this it will be on MY terms.”

“We just want to help you” Feyre says softly.

“As if any of you can help me, as if any of you can fathom what it’s like. Except you Rhys, but only briefly because it worked out in your favor. What would you all suggest I do hmm? Oh, wait you have all already told me what you think. Why do I need to rush and make a decision like this just because you all have an opinion about it?”

“y/n-” Nesta begins, but I cut her off.

“Because on one hand, I tell him about the bond and ruin any chance of happiness he has built for himself. On the other I don’t say a word, and one day the bond may snap for him, and he resents me for not telling him. Oh, and not to mention the other important piece here, Elain. You all would have me be the villain that steps in to ruin her wedding, to ruin a choice she made, a choice they both made. I can’t do that. No, actually I won’t do that.”

“But y/n-” Cassian began

“There is no but, that is all there is to it Cass. Either way I lose” the others look down at their hands, mulling over what I said.

“I’m going to bed” I announce, getting up from the table and making my way to my bedroom. I hear their hushed voices arguing as I make my way up the stairs, I do my best to block it out.

Once making it to my room, I close the door softly behind me and make my way to my desk. I take deep steadying breaths trying to ignore the feeling of being suffocated, of being forced into something so serious. I turn my head and catch a glimpse of Lucien’s last letter. I look it over again, suddenly getting an idea.

I grab a piece of parchment, and a pen and scrawl out a quick reply before losing my nerve.

Dearest Lucien,

I am doubtful of my ability to remain here surrounded by happy mated couples. Watching Elain and Azriel plan their wedding is torture. Getting advice from people who know nothing of what I am going through is torture and to be honest I miss you more than I can express. So, how soon can I visit? I feel that some time away would do me good. I need to figure out what my life is without him, who I am without him. Perhaps you can help with that.

Yours,

Y/N

Next Chapter ->

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#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar series #cassian x nesta #lucien x reader #feyre x rhysand #falling #bookish-whore

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mariekanker · 10 days

Text

im sooo smart i couldnt find the blank template but i have now but its fine . classic deviantart meme font.

explaining my self under the cut (EGGHEAD SPOILERS INCLUDED)

Favorite character: Franky, Robin and Usopp. Franky is my favorite but Robin and Usopp are the best characters. For Franky it's mostly that I like weird guys in hawaiin shirts and I also like inventor/engineer characters and he's both which is not fair to my psyche. And a lot of the shit he makes is so silly all those extra vehicles in the sunny all have to be cartoon animal themed and that's so cute. Silly guy making his silly machines, aww aww. I like Robin because she's a little weird a little offputting. Wish they went way further with that but I still enjoy that element of her character. And that she's the designated smart one but not in a killjoy way, and it's so sweet seeing her find happiness over time. I like that Usopp is the straight man or everyman type guy of the crew, and how most times the thing he chooses to do is the most "yeah i would have done that in this situation". I like that at no point he suddenly overnight becomes some brave boy and is a shounen anime badass now, but instead he's anxious about everything but pulls through regardless. He could have quit back in water 7 but he didn't !! New world scary as hell but he's still here having not given up or died !! There's something i really appreciate about having a character who isn't a badass or anything like that succeed too because its harder for him. And I lovee a good usopp fight, his fighting style is so fun and the usopp vs perona fight is one of my favorite of the whole series. I think it's fun that he was able to work around his fear of close combat by getting experimental. And of course the whole thing with how they make a point in Enies that Usopp doesn't have to be insanely capable and competant to have value and have his friends love him and i think that's nice. Everybody's valued on the crew even if their unique skills are more "niche" or whatever. :] .

Liked by everyone but me: Sabo. I think I would have liked him a lot more if he wasn't introduced immediately after Ace died as Luffy's secret brother he also has (anime adaptation is way worse for this because they can't even hide that Sabo didn't die !! It's so obvious !!) I know they have a whole passing the torch thing going on and the fire fruit thing is very cute but i feel it kind of takes away from the impact of ace dying to give luffy a different fire brother yknow ? either way though, he has the personality of a slice of white bread like i really dont find him endearing at all, all i get out of him is he's kind of fun to draw i like pulling a brightheart warrior cats fan design on him. as far as i can tell most OP fandom people generally like him i never see sabo slander LOL but that's just me

Didn't like at first: Orochi. Choosing him more out of what I felt was appropriate given some characters i.e. franky are clearly supposed to start off on a bad note then be likable later. Orochi never gets redeemed or even becomes particularly silly and charming in the ways many other villains do. Him being an over the top piece of shit who was also scared of everything then had beef with Kaido just appealed to me idk lol plus all the stuff with how he's doing all this out of some kind of paranoia/trauma response and like yeah fuck sure i'll take that some kind of a reason over nothing at all. he's a little like arlong if arlong was like really really lame. i think it's funny he fake dies like twice + his actual(?) death scene is honestly pretty badass that was a good ass scene. one of my more favorite villains tbh and he pleasantly surprised me because i really assumed he was just going to be another comically evil annoying lame guy in a different coat of paint. think again it's annoying lame guy but a little better.

Would like to know more about: Crocodile, Pudding, Kiwi, and Mozu. Honestly there's like 27 characters I could put here. Crocodile stands out to me because of the implied trans thing mostly but regardless, I am curious about his relationship with Robin and his run in with Whitebeard and the thing with going out of his way to stick his neck out for Luffy in Marineford. <- that was probably just Crocodile being grateful luffy busted him out of impel down and not wanting to say it, but i like to think there's some kind of "luffy reminds crocodile of himself when he was younger" type deal because yea croc wanted to be pirate king before whitebeard shat all over him, yeah? yeah i wanna know this guy's deal. and yeah what were the circumstances of him and Iva's initial meeting? Out of everyone I chose he's probably the mostly likely to get some kind of detailed backstory and such. I assume Pudding is probably going to be very relevant eventually what with the opening of the third eye or whatever the fuck. Excited as the prospect of more Pudding, really hope we do not get another hancock situation where her entire character devolves into being really obsessed with a guy. Low expectations for this one I just hope she gets things to do that uh . don't suck lol. i really like her a lot. I think I kind of already explained Kiwi & Mozu yeah, in general more of anything on Franky Family would be nice. I know they're not important like Croc + Pudding but I hope they at least get some silly mini story shit. Filler ep where Franky reminisces on franky family . i will take antyhing.

Least favorite character: Orlumbus. don't like the columbus cameo. that's it, this one isn't deep, the fact he's a character at all is just dumb to me. i do rank him lower than villains or intentionally annoying charatcers because at least characters like Spamdam you're clearly supposed to want him dead so he's doing his job as a character.

Like the design, dislike the character: Zeo. Wasn't huge on the new fishman pirates in general. Would have to reread Fishman Island to elaborate better. Zeo's design is badass though.

Like the character, dislike the design: Usopp. Looks like a caricature

Same personality: Usopp and Pudding. Only 2 I could think of that have made me think yeah, they're just like me for real on a regular basis.

Favorite ship: Going Merry. I love that the Merry is just the silly little boat that could held together by duck tape and how comically smaller she is compared to marine ships, really bringing together this idea that the straw hats are just some scrappy weirdos who have no business being alive this long- Oh. Oh that kind of ship. Okay. Frobin is like the most . Sounds like a pairing that would actually happen, makes sense for how I understand these characters to be, etc. I'm not in the camp of believing they're end game or canonically secretly in love, you just don't have to like . Conveniently forget things about either character to force it into making some kind of sense. More importantly though, I think it's fun how they're counterparts to each other. Robin is history/nature themed, Franky is futuristic/technology themed, but both are connected through the pluton thing. They're both "keys to the ancient weapon" but instead of being destructive evil characters they're more interested in building the other up. Something like that. And it's a weird girl + silly guy dynamic and I like these kinds of "met you in the worst situation but we made it out together and are now both enjoying ourselves" relationships. If I was spamdam bringing robin and franky together for my evil scheme only for them to not only both escape but end up on the same crew and become very close I would have to quit my job out of embarrassment.

Least favorite ship:Crocodile x Buggy.I don't care for most hate love type dynamics anyways but particularly don't enjoy this one because seeing Buggy in this toxic yaoi with my boss type situation doesn't appeal to me at all. (Obviously not the worst OP pairing in the world, just as far as pairings I actually see with my eyes every now and again I don't really care for this one)

Would befriend irl: Kokoro. I just like her. I would listen to her talk for a long time about whatever the hell.

Would not befriend irl: Sanji. I mean like more than half of all OP characters are people i would not stand but I have a dunking on Sanji quota to achieve.

#fandom opinion meme #id in alt

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