#which is. doubly upsetting tbh

[definitelynotshouting]

Recently, I've been thinking about something. We know that after Grian was kicked from Hermitcraft and after the initial hurt and anger simmered down a lot of Hermits started regretting kicking him to an extent. They had questions and now no one to answer them. And around every corner is some painful reminder of the friend they lost, some building he made, or a place where some bit or game happened. While that is certainly very normal, I can't stop thinking about how this already angst idea is only made worse by the idea that, things probably feel even more dull than they would now that he's not amping their emotions. In all the minigames and group meetings Grian's absence is like a hollow chasm that refuses to be ignored. None of it seems to be quiet as fun anymore. I kinda doubt many of them would connect this to Watcher feeding but maybe I'm wrong. Just the idea of the Hermits barely being able to make it 5 steps without some reminder or Grian but amped by the fact that they're so used to the joy he brought with his shenanigans, both naturally and through the occasional Watcher Nom Noming.

I think about this SO OFTEN actually and how like.... its true. Its just plain true!!! Things are just less in Hermitcraft now, and theres this horrible tangle of complexity surrounding that because on the one hand, theres just..... not as much EXCITEMENT as there used to be when Grian was around, and on the other hand, they never consented to having their emotions messed with in the first place-- but theres still that acute sense of loss. They lost something and there are reminders everywhere and while some members have channeled that loss into bitterness and hate, a lot of people are just... sad. Its just really sad. I always imagine the Empires crossover has a lot more of a subdued tone to it, since Grian (who had helped plan and organize it) wasnt there to join in.

Its gonna be a very complicated reunion, once the Grian Rescue Squad returns with our resident Watcher in tow

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #i just checked the dates and actually it lines up pretty perfectly #DL ended on july 22nd according to the wiki #and the empires crossover started on october 27th #of that same year #ive always felt like it was abt three-ish months before things got confirmed so. #grian basically got kicked only a few weeks before the event #which is. doubly upsetting tbh #on so many levels #txt

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

i for one would like to know where this "family therapist bearing everyone's feelings" mikey fanon even comes from

to say nothing for "raph and leo were having constant terrible arguments and poor baby mikey was so upset and traumatized about it that he curled up hidden away in donnie's lab where donnie comforted him, powerless to do anything about the fighting" bc like

well the family therapist thing fascinates me but i think i've talked about that and why it doesn't read true to me before.

and the pre-movie raph and leo fighting so bad headcanon stuff, though, bugs me doubly hard bc i would assume that start of movie is like. as bad as it got for that tension. the breaking point. like, lecturing and needling that didn't come to a full head (raph punching out leo's wall and then trying to square up w leo) until leo specifically messed up a mission that involved the foot clan (which i would imagine is kind of a trigger point seeing as the last result of "foot clan gathers mysterious artifacts" was "the world almost ends, we lost our home, gram gram died in front of us, we nearly lost our dad etc").

like. mikey was fine as anything blowing off training w leo! he was having a grand ol time, doing his best lil bro copycatting of leo's smugness, playing the "every time raph says hero take a bite of pizza" game no complaints, no looks of doubt. heck, donnie's fine going along with the goofing off too! when raph follows leo into his room to try to talk to him, mikey and donnie both straight-up have their faces pressed to the window to try to eavesdrop! they both look equally freaked out about the sudden escalation to Big Punch!

like idk the evidence is just not there for me to buy the fanon interpretation on this one. there's no world where mikey and donnie wouldn't get fed tf up and stick their noses in that business if it was so upsetting imo. i think everyone's movie characterization suffers a little bit overall tho tbh, that's a whole other post though

#rottmnt #rottmnt movie #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt mikey #idk man there's just. #a character being more emotionally open than his fam doesnt automatically make him the family therapist #esp when a lot of what we do get of the dynamics in show makes it pretty clear mikey is 100% The Baby and sheltered #like it kind of grates on him even esp coming from raph! bc he WANTS to be seen as on more even ground etc

[vaspider]

Tbh, everyone I see trying to come up with alternative words for Culturally Christian keeps reminding me of when white people got really upset about the term White Privilege. Maybe the term SHOULD make people uncomfortable. Maybe we shouldn't have to take the complaints of others about a term we created to describe our experiences as more important than our needs. As well-meaning as some folks have been, it's been so frustrating to feel like that aspect isn't being seen. We created this term to discuss our oppression and others keep coming to us about their feelings about it, their discomfort. We didn't get rid of the term White Privilege just because it upset a bunch of white people. Why do we have to get rid of the term Culturally Christian because it upsets people it describes?

I'm trying to be compassionate too but it's hard for me to be when it feels like most of the criticisms of the term have been in bad faith and that the criticism is centered around OTHER people's feelings rather than our need to describe our oppression. Idk it doesn't feel fair I guess.

I didn't really expect you of all people to react like this to me having a compassionate conversation with someone who isn't Christian, wasn't raised Christian, and was abused by Christians for not being a Christian, about that person not wanting to be labeled as being inextricably tainted by a religion that abused them for their whole life. That's not something I expected from you. Maybe you missed that part of the conversation, or maybe you read a good faith conversation as if it was in bad faith, idk, but this seems rather unkind for you.

I understand your frustration. I also think it that if I'm actually dedicated to tikkun olam, if someone also being hurt in this situation respectfully talks with me about how I'm hurting them with splash damage from these discussions, I really should hear them out. And if, in the course of that discussion, we talk through how to not only be more accurate with what we're talking about but how to be less hurtful to other victims of Evangelical Christianity, I think that's pretty good, actually.

The person you're talking about isn't Christian and never was, so your analogy doesn't really hold. That person didn't hold any particular privilege and was never part of the dominant group in the first place. Like... that's the whole point. They're also a survivor of religious violence. You assigning privilege to that person which they never received is part of the problem we were addressing in the first place.

Plus, like, isn't the desired outcome that people who are carrying ideas and mindsets which come from Christian hegemony work on shedding those ideas and mindsets? Labeling people - especially people who aren't Christian and doubly especially those who never were - rather than ideas means those people are labeled regardless of what ideas they hold. That seems counterproductive to me, and, again, hurtful to fellow victims to label them with an identity they don't hold. It's like someone calling a bi person a Spicy Straight because they don't look queer enough or whatever - they're assigning an identity that someone else doesn't have because it makes it easier for them to speak their pain, and ignoring the damage that does.

The best part of the conversation is that by the end of it, someone pointed out that there's already an academic term -- Christian hegemony -- which has been in use for a really long time, well before "cultural Xianity" came into use. It looks like it goes back at least 50 years. So because I was patient and compassionate with someone else who was victimized like I was victimized, I got to learn something which will make it easier to communicate in the future, since that term is widely established and it's easy to point to PDFs that define it, or articles with Jewish educators explaining it.*

Sounds like a win to me - I get to avoid accidentally hurting others who were hurt like I was hurt, I learned something, and now I have a better, clearer term and can speak more clearly.

I'm sorry it frustrates you. I don't think your analogy works, though, and I'm happy with using "Christian hegemony" to describe ideas and not labeling people. I certainly wouldn't like it if someone insisted on calling me Christian, because I'm not, so forcing that label on others who also are not Christian seems hypocritical and unkind. Someone can hold ideas they learned from Christian hegemony without being Christian, and saying it that way doesn't hurt me, so it's no great burden to me to use a more established, more accurate, less hurtful means of addressing my own hurt.

* I don't agree 100% with everything in these links, please don't send me asks or reblog this with nitpicks of the links, I'm not interested bc that's not the point of including them.

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

thinking about a rw/by au where silver eyes are actually a big deal from the start, and everyone knows they're special, so summer is famous and ruby is by extension kinda famous just for even existing tbh this would be nice because then ruby's whole "i just want to be seen as normal" thing from early volumes would feel a lot more meaningful and consistent. the tension between weiss and ruby becomes more of an "i expected more from you" kind of thing from weiss, on top of the expectation that ruby would be more like her and be able to relate to her better, so weiss is like doubly disappointed.

summer's death is like. HUGE. everyone was upset about it, people STILL aren't over it, there was a big funeral, it was all over the news, people keep acting all "oh sorry about your loss" around Ruby because of it, or bringing it up again when she goes to Beacon even though it's already been a pretty good while. Ruby notices more than a little bit that she's now kinda being treated like some priceless faberge egg- Super important, but nobody wants to let her out of their sight or give her much of any real freedom. She starts feeling secretly scared that like maybe she doesn't even deserve to be at Beacon, and her eyes are the only reason she's even there and Ozpin is just *saying* it's because she's good at Hunter stuff.

Ruby/Pyrrha would be my pairing of choice in this AU, because Weiss would be initially let down/put off by how Ruby acts and have to overcome that, but Pyrrha and Ruby would instantly be like "OH SAME HAT???" and just Click. By extension, if Pyrrha still dies the angst there would be IMMENSE (and go predominantly to Ruby and not Jaune, which would feel more appropriately streamlined in terms of character focus) But even with that being said I really wouldn't WANT Pyrrha to die in this AU because I feel like you could get a lot more mileage out of her and Ruby's differing approaches to how they deal with "i'm really special even though i don't entirely want to be, but feel obligated to perform as well as i can or else i am a Failure the moment i mess up at all ever", and the ways their situations are similar and yet different. I think I would still definitely prefer Ruby to still be pretty bad at reliably doing anything with her Silver Eyes, even in spite of everyone knowing what it means from the start, just to heap on even more impostor syndrome (and meta-wise, because that makes it way easier to keep the fights challenging) And she would eventually have to incorporate her knowledge of engineering into figuring out a workaround, like maybe cool visors that help her concentrate the energy they produce, or a way to make something that channels it into her weapon instead (the imagery of a cool scythe where sections of it glow silvery-white and it does Super Effective Grimm Damage is epic in my head)

#rwde #i don't really actually say anything mean here but like #just to be safe

[miqojak]

Can you explain more about your “do not reblog” rule? /gen

Do you not want reblogs of anything ever or just certain things? I try to check tags but tbh I’m still not really clear on the why so I do t know if I’m doing this right.

Hey, thanks for asking!

What it really boils down to is that it is incredibly hurtful when you've spent years looking to make contact in an RP community, and no one will reach out for RP, or show genuine interest in your OC... but complete strangers in the RP community will come by to take your OC aesthetic for their OC, and never interact otherwise, which is ultimately just using another person for your own gain.

If you like a character's aesthetic, and it's similar to your own OC's... why not go ahead and interact? (Send asks, or comment on posts or reblog writing or gposes with tags about how much you like the character, or whatever! ) Wouldn't that be a good first sign that your characters might get along, or have similar interests of some kind? It's a social hobby, after all, so you gotta talk to strangers eventually... so who better than someone whose OC blog intrigued you to begin with? If you like the aesthetic but not the OC... why not just follow the same resource blog they did, for more of the aesthetic you like?

An RP blog is essentially for helping to meet other RPers; it's like making a scrapbook about your character to show/advertise to others, to see if they might be interested in RP with your lil guy - "here's what they're like, are you interested?". But when people come by and only take from you, and don't engage in any other way, shape, or form? They don't reblog, or even hit the heart on your original works ( ie they literally just take aesthetic posts they could have gotten from the same resource blog that I did, so I get a notification, thinking it was someone actually interested in engaging in our shared, social hobby - but it's just someone who wants something from me) - or support you by maybe sharing your original work at all... well, it certainly makes *me* feel used, and it's both hurtful, and frustrating. It makes me feel like I'm just an object, and not a person behind a screen looking for contacts in a community that only seems to stop by when someone wants something; it makes me feel like people don't think about the person behind the screen.

That said, I explained it recently like the old "neighbor asking for a cup of sugar" thing - if I know you and we interact and I know you're not some stranger who only comes by to take from me what you will? Why wouldn't I be willing to share/ 'give you a cup of sugar'? There are definitely people I think are great on here, who support not only me, but so many others in the community, by sharing creative works and writing fun tags on them, etc. But if a complete stranger showed up at your home and didn't ask for a cup of sugar, but barged right in and started helping themselves to everything in your fridge... wouldn't you be upset in some manner? They didn't say hi, didn't introduce themselves... they didn't say anything at all, and you have no idea who this person is! You'd probably lock your door, and not open it to strangers anymore - plus, it's not like you wouldn't make them a sandwich if they were a friend in need, but it's off-putting to be used... and doubly so when you don't even know who this person is.

I've lost a lot of my desire to try and be active, myself, because no one seems to reach out for RP anymore (all my longterm RP friends from years ago have quit RP over the last few years because of this - they were always the ones putting in all the effort with reaching out to new contacts - among a handful of other reasons), and as a fellow anxious person... you just gotta bite the bullet and be social at times if you want RP, you can't hide behind social anxiety in a social hobby (don't I know it). You can't just hope it falls in your lap. But between being regularly ghosted by people (who seem to only want ERP, and disappear when it doesn't happen) - and Tumblr mostly just being a hurtful experience... I've largely gone inactive, and try to share others' stuff when I do log on.

Tl;dr If the only thing people want is aesthetic posts... why not just follow the same resource blogs - why use the blog of someone trying to make connections? If they want to RP, or establish some sort of connection by mutually sharing each other's creative works, and sending asks and doing tag games, etc. - (ie if they want to establish a rapport) then that's amazing! Full steam ahead.

But it hurts, and ultimately makes me feel pretty worthless when I love a character I've worked hard on and tried for years to establish, and then most notifications are just another name of a stranger who only comes by to take aesthetic posts they could have gotten anywhere else.

Sorry for being long-winded - the ADHD contributes to that, but I've also had some people be incredibly entitled and cruel when I was blocking them, and pointed out to them that the only notifications I had from them for many months was them simply taking aesthetic posts, and never interacting otherwise... as if they felt entitled to pump my blog for their own OC's aesthetic (or its someone who follows me and just instantly starts combing my blog for their OC's aesthetic... conveniently skipping anything that's actually original work I spent time creating) - so I tend to overexplain, these days, so it's clear that it comes from a place of hurt, and trying to protect myself and cultivate a healthier circle of people around me... its not out of malice, or grudges, etc.

#it really compounds the depression when it feels like ppl only want to use you #it feels like people love Jak's aesthetic but not her as a character... so why follow her blog? #they will reblog a specific aesthetic image of doc martens... but not the exact same image recreated in gpose #something that took hours to make is worthless... but people will go out of their way to reblog the real world aesthetic image of it #so yeah it hurts and drives home that you're seen as worthless or expendable

[campeyourdiems]

What if Yandere David and Yandere Daniel had a abused S/O he or she was abused by he or her boyfriend.

Howdy! Sorry this took a while to get to we've been ~ sick ~ I hope you haven't gotten too upset. =w=' Also this is gonna be formatted differently because? Tumblr keeps applying the changes I make to the entire post-- Yandere David and Daniel w/ an abused s/o David - He'd notice whatever marks were left on you fairly quickly and ask about them - If you assure him it's nothing he'll still be suspicious - Especially if it keeps happening - If it happens far too often he'll put two and two together - Your s/o will no longer be a problem - This would be one of the only times he'll actively kill - Usually, he just injures the other person to..varying extents - If you straight up tell him about it then the process will go by faster tbh - He might just go right then and there [unless you need comfort, in which case he'll give that first] - He'll be doubly protective after this Daniel - As soon as he'd notice marks on you he'd demand to know what happened - Unlike David, he won't accept it if you lie to him. He knows something's up. - One day your s/o goes missing - Daniel swears he doesn't know what happened, that he'd never hurt anyone - But he's oh so happy they're gone and you'll be ok - After all, you're so precious to him - You may find yourself restricted to his house soon though-

#samclumsy #camp camp #camp campbell #camp camp fandom #camp camp fanblog #cc david #camp camp david #yandere!david #cc daniel #camp camp daniel #yandere!daniel #tw yandere #camp camp david x reader #cc david x reader #camp camp daniel x reader #cc daniel x reader #tw abuse mention #tw murder mention

[sundeity4]

I've recently become aware of npd and it's symptoms and it didn't occur to me that it could overlap with aspd or things like that

ive been managing my whole life based on rules I've made up for myself after seeing what was being labeled "bad" or "immoral" because clearly Those ppl have a hard time and that's not what I wanted for myself. and so they help me manage I how I treat and interact with ppl, too. It's all intellectualized, ya know?

and it's occuring to me now as an adult that outside these rules and socially acceptable facades I'm not sure who I am/how I'd behave. I've been laughing at stuff I don't find funny for so long idk what my actual sense of humor is anymore cuz the fake laugh is so reflexive. things like that.

tbh I attributed it to Heavy dissociation, I feel so numb daily unless something really catches my attention. And Im a lot™ when I'm upset tho and honestly, the rules I have are also to help keep myself in check when I Am upset or overwhelmed. I don't Get a lot of myself. and No diagnosis seem to fit cuz I have no idea what's Me and what's... whatever is wrong with me. so it's hard to determine what is a symptom or what it isn't which makes the experience doubly hard to describe.

but some tests I took online did have me score high for things like npd and aspd. So idk. I guess my question is how did you know it was those 2 dx? I guess, instead of something else?

actually anon, i have bpd not aspd or npd :") so im not so sure how helpful i'll be here, since i cant give you any personal anecdotal information.

but, when diagnosing a personality disorder, its good to keep in mind that the symptoms are present at all times, not in episodes, the symptoms are present since adolescence, and the symptoms impact your daily life. and always go by the DSM 5 criteria (if you're in america). heres the dsm 5 criteria for aspd:

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I maintain my self-esteem (and often define myself) from personal gain, power, or pleasure.

My goals are often self-oriented, and I have difficulty considering how the consequences affect others.

I have difficulty understanding or relating to the ideas, feelings, or behaviors of others. (low empathy)

I have difficulty maintaining close relationships unless I am in a dominant position.

__ / 4

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check SIX or more of the following:

I often try to make myself more influential over people and situations. I like to be in control.

I am often unable to understand how my actions or words can harm others.

I find I can be a dishonest person, either in how I present myself to others, or I’ll twist the truth of stories I tell.

I experience persistent or frequent feelings of anger or irritability.

I often find myself in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities without regard for the consequences.

I am impulsive and often act on things without thinking or planning.

I often fail to take care of responsibilities and keep promises.

__ / 7

Section IV Must check THREE or more of the following:

I fail to conform to social norms and rarely do what is expected of me.

I compulsively lie when it benefits me.

I find it difficult to make plans for the future.

I have difficulty maintaining feelings of anger or irritability.

I am rarely concerned for my own safety or well-being.

I am often unable to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

I don’t often feel regret, and I am often unable to feel remorse when I have wronged someone.

__ / 7

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adolescence, and some traits have been persistent since childhood.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

My symptoms are persistent and not triggering by a symptom from another mental disorder.

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of anti-social personality disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in ASPD patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum but relate to many of the symptoms listed, check out conduct disorders. If you feel you related to some of the symptoms, but feel many of your symptoms weren’t listed, try anxiety disorders, neurodevelopmental disorders, and depressive disorders. If you cleared Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum, look into other personality disorders.

Section VI Common symptoms and behaviors associated (not required for diagnosis):

I often don’t feel anxious, even in situations where I should feel anxious.

Some of my behaviors are a means of self-preservation.

I have gotten in trouble with the law on a few occasions.

I have difficulty reading social cues.

I find I am often unable to finish tasks.

I often view people in the style of a hierarchy.

I believe everyone is only really out for themselves.

I am incredibly opinionated.

I experience dysphoria, in which I feel my body is not my own.

I often feel very tense and restless.

I am unable to tolerate boredom.

I am very often depressed.

I define myself by my accomplishments and gains.

I have considered or attempted suicide.

I find I rarely get stressed out, even in incredibly stressful situations.

__ / 15 and heres the dsm 5 criteria for npd: Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity issues, and I depend on others in order to define myself. My self-esteem depends on others as well. How others view me influences how I view myself, which is why I try to present myself as important or powerful.

I have difficulty settings goals for myself, and how I set them really depends on the praise I receive from others. I tend to set goals unrealistically high in order to see myself as exceptional, or contrarily too low so I can feel more powerful when the task is easy.

I struggle to identify with the feelings and needs of others, and I tend to underestimate the effect I have on others.

I have unstable relationships. I can become so focused on my own anxieties and problems I forget the needs of my partner.

__ / 4

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check BOTH of the following:

I can be self-centered, and I feel entitled to good treatment from others, as I am dependent on it.

I like to be the center of attention, and I seek admiration from others.

Section IV Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I tend to exaggerate my achievements and talents and like to be praised for them.

I am often preoccupied with fantasies of my own success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love life.

In a way, I believe I am “special” and unique, and I like to surround myself with other people who are “special” and unique.

I require excessive admiration.

I set unreasonable expectations for both myself and the people around me.

I tend to take advantage of situations and am opportunistic.

I struggle with empathy and have a difficult time relating to others.

I am often envious, and I covet what other people have.

I can have an arrogant or haughty attitude.

__ / 9

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

Section VI Common symptoms and behaviors (not required for diagnosis):

I can have either low or high self-esteem. I find it depends on the people I’m with and how they’re treating me at the time.

I tend to overestimate myself, which can often lead to disappointing myself.

I can become anxious and spiral into a depression if I don’t receive praise or admiration.

I hate being alone for too long.

I find I compare myself with others often, having no other means of defining myself unless I can use someone else as sort of a “measuring tape.”

I often feel incredibly misunderstood by others.

I find I like to have the Best of everything. The newest electronic, the most expensive brand of something, etc.

I like to constantly be moving up and making progress and can become obsessive with it.

When talking myself, I tend to ramble.

I think a lot of people are jealous of me.

I am incredibly sensitive to criticism. I don’t usually show it outwardly, but being criticized can leave me feeling humiliated, degraded, and empty.

When upset, I tend to withdraw from others.

I find being competitive is very difficult for me because there is a chance of losing.

I am often depressed and/or anxious.

I try to read people’s weaknesses while hiding my own.

__ / 15

If you did not meet the minimum criteria for this checklist, you may want to look into anxiety disorders and depressive disorders. If you experience the symptoms above but only in episodes and not persistently, you may want to look into Bipolar Disorder. (Narcissistic traits could be a side effect of a manic or hypomanic episode.) If you met the criteria for Sections II and V but not the others, you may want to look into other personality disorders. both DSM 5 lists taken from Shit Borderlines Do

i hope this helps!

#text #ask #anonymous #aspd #npd #i speak

[bristlepaws]

i really like ur bcb takes and i was wondering if you had anything to say abt daisy + her hypocrisy? like her telling abbey that shes not okay with assault despite her having slapped him without apologizing in a flashback, her telling augustus that having a kiss forced on her was too far even though she tried that with mike minutes earlier, etc. shes right to think that but doesnt seem to recognize it in herself. shes one of my favs but i think confronting this would be good for her growth

oooOOOoh yes daisy’s hypocrisy is probably my favorite thing about her tbh. it’s such an intriguing character flaw. 

i completely agree that her recognizing this in herself would be really good!! she’s got a lot of very firm beliefs that contradict themselves in her own actions and it seems like she has exactly 0 self-awareness about it. 

even just in the way she handled dating abbey.... she clearly cares a lot about the feelings of others and doesn’t think people should get jerked around, but didn’t seem to care At All that she was just kind of coasting along for the sake of attention rather than any actual desire to date him. which she then acts REALLY upset about when she interprets Lucy doing that to Mike. it’s not exactly the same, obviously, but she clearly used to think that Lucy was just using Mike for attention rather than treating him the way that she should.

i actually think that Daisy just gaining more self-awareness about her own feelings and actions would be really good for her. like with the jealousy with Lucy... Daisy is really smart, and I feel like if she actually analyzed her jealousy with Lucy, she’d be like “oh i guess i should work to be more empathetic about this.” because she does care about Lucy and cares a lot about others. like with Paulo -- she clearly empathizes with him a lot. I think it’s mostly because of how long they’ve been Pretty Close friends, but I also think that his looks & charisma come into it. Daisy’s got a REAL big hangup about attractiveness. she lets a lot of people get away with things because they’re handsome/cute to her (Mike, Augustus, Paulo). i think she assumes that everyone thinks this way, too -- hence her being so hung up on Lucy getting away with things all the time. and she never analyzes this as being her OWN style of thinking. she just thinks it’s the way the world works, and gets hung up on how unfair it is that The World Is Like This... instead of realizing that part of it is her own perspective. 

she’s not ENTIRELY wrong; it’s at least partially how the world works. but she puts a lot more stock into it than there is. i think her views would change if she just gained some self-confidence, but that’s easier said than done. it’s also really understandable how she got to this conclusion; she’s always been one of the girls that the guys in her group don’t hound for being Super Sexy. and Lucy DID get away with a lot for a really long time. 

i feel like she and Lucy both deal with weird cultural misogyny in completely different ways.... like, Daisy has to deal with being looked over and condescended to while Lucy has to deal with being constantly objectified. both of them have had to deal with unwanted sexual advances. and Lucy has gotten to the point where she Mostly understands what’s up with Daisy and is just trying to be protective and supportive in her own way. but Daisy isn’t there, yet. she doesn’t really get that she and Lucy are being pitted against each other by forces outside of either of their control, and she doesn’t get that Lucy’s position isn’t really one to be envied. i hope the two of them are able to connect at some point, but i don’t think it’ll happen until they’re well out of high school and can get some perspective & distance on the whole thing. 

wow this got away from me! i just think that Daisy is interesting and that her hypocrisy really sinks into a lot of areas of her life in fascinating ways. and that’s it doubly interesting that she doesn’t notice it at all!! she’s so smart and so un-self aware. 

#i find daisy incredibly fascinating when comparing her with Lucy especially... just because daisy has such big hangups about her!! #when she doesn't really about other girls!! #like she doesnt give a shit about Rachel or Jasmine #she cared about Tess to an extent.... but not in the same way #text #bittersweet candy bowl #bcb ramblings #bcb analysis #text wall

[bluewolflock]

We can roll back time Before we were broken inside Leave it all behind Forget the world for awhile Or maybe we'd be strangers And we never needed fixing We'd be okay Because we nеver met at all

Hey so incoming spoilers for Kain’s storyline under the cut, if you don’t want any of that now’s the time to scroll away.

Now, do y’all mind if i scream into the void for a bit

Illin’s death at the end of the storyline really :) upset me :))) KAIN JUST ISN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE EVEN ONE (1) FRIEND FROM HIS DAYS IN THE DRAKAS HUH. AND IT’S DOUBLY UPSETTING BC ILLIN’S WHOLE THING WAS ABOUT HER WANTING TO LIVE AND HAVING SURVIVED FOR AS LONG AS SHE HAD IT ANGERS ME SHE JUST GETS MURDERED (and Kain barely even REACTS, SIR YOUR SISTER JUST KILLED YOUR FRIEND) AND HER DEATH ISN’T EVEN LIKE, FOR PLOT. LUSKA KILLS HER AND THEN THEY JUST MOVE ON,,, THE WAY I CLEARLY CAN’T. AND THIS ISN’T LIMITED TO JUST ILLIN, OH NO, TIRAG AND VIAS GET THAT TREATMENT TOO. Which I find especially weird for Tirag since like, he at least got the honor of actually having a drawn headshot with multiple expressions, tbh I seriously thought he’d at least do more but, I guess not.

And I know character death is like, a staple of Maple, this ain’t my first rodeo folks, I know that getting attached to side characters is just asking for pain but like, it’s frustrating because of the attempts at a build up for story. Kain’s storyline is kind of all over the place and really confusing until you take a second look at it and realize “oh THAT’S what they were trying to do, badly” (they,, really didn’t handle the memory manipulation all that well, it’s really difficult to figure out to what extent it’s being done on the Drakas, bc they clearly aren’t all getting hard resets (a la Zero), but more like their perception of how long they’ve been there is being fucked with? plot did not explain this well) which is doubly frustrating bc the potential is tHERE. I LOVE THIS EDGY IDIOT WITH A HEART OF GOLD AND I WISH HIS STORY WERE BETTER.

I’m particularly upset about Illin because (besides just liking her and being biased) she’s the only one who lives after the other’s get offed and like, you get these tiny hints and fragments of background and possible growth as a result of her survival that you think are gonna pay off in some way since everyone else is dead (like, seriously, WHY did past!Kain trust past!Illin with the coordinates to his home and WHY IS THIS FACT SO DOWNPLAYED, WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN BACKGROUND ON THEIR LIVES IN THE DRAKAS AND THE PEOPLE THEY WERE BEFORE THE MEMORY FUCKERY BEGAN. BACKSTORY ON KAIN’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OTHERS IN HIS GROUP. Not to mention, Kain and Illin start off pretty distrustful of each other, despite (or because of?) their shared history as members of Drakas, but slowly Kain goes from ‘I’m not sure, maybe she would be the type to stab me in the back’ to ‘Hey Shadowdealers, look out for this woman, she’s a good person’. Like it’s such an interesting dynamic that could’ve been explored more, where they both could’ve worked through their shared trauma of what they went through and maybe heal and grow as people and learn to trust each other and others,and Kain would actually help her get that fucking collar off, bUT NO. NONE OF IT GOES ANYWHERE AND I AM ANGY.

To quote myself rambling at Ivy: GIVE ME THAT 'Distant and Unwilling (bc of Drakas) Co-workers' to 'Uncertain Allies' to 'Awkward Friends' to 'ACUTALLY FUCKING TRUSTING ONE ANOTHER' TO LOVERS THAT I CRAVE, NEXON

Idk, it just feels like his storyline Really Could Have Been That Deep. The potential for a lot of stuff felt like it was there and just, wasn’t explored or elaborated on (bc everyone interesting just, gets killed). I know that’s not exactly odd for maple (seriously stop cramming plot into the first 30 levels and then completely cutting us off until farther off, few levels), but coupled with the pacing it just, left me wanting. I’m just a tad disappointed, nexon :’)

#maplestory #kain #illin #artists on tumblr #blue's art #blue cant draw humans #don't mind me #i'm just screaming under the readmore #it's alot of yelling #rip anyone who actually tries to read it #being invested in maple characters is pAIN

[petewentzisblack1312]

is starting a record collection an expensive hobby? im considering starting one tbh

it absolutely is anon its so expensive and very inconvenient. its a terrible hobby for beginners. i love it to death though.

the fact is records are kind of an investment as a physical music medium, because theyre significantly more expensive than any other medium for listening to music. the actual apparatus to listen to records is also pricey. although theres cheap players you can get like the crosley cruiser, for a lot of reasons those can do a lot of damage to your albums really quickly compared to others. if youre mostly interested in the novelty or aesthetic (which i want to be super clear, is totally fine and normal) then its fine and probably even recommended, but if youre interested in regularly listening to music on vinyl or the longevity and preservation of your collection id recommend making the investment. i think those cutesy turntables are a nice way to get people interested and good for when youre not sure if you really want to stick to it but if it becomes a long term hobby you should definitely see to upgrading.

if youre wondering why anyone would do this at all if its so expensive, its kind of the same reason people buy physical books when its more expensive and inconvenient than ebooks. its nice to have a way to tangibly and physically engage with the music youre listening to, and its doubly nice if the record itself is nice to look at and well made/packaged. theres a lot of super cool stuff you can do with vinyl that you cant do with digital music, just like theres a lot of cool stuff you can do with digital music you cant do with vinyl. some people just like to have pretty records to look at, some people (who are insane /lh) only listen to music on vinyl for the experience, and some people, like me, like to have pretty records and the tangible experience of dropping the needle and flipping the record and switching out discs and all that. its like a stim for me.

anyway, besides getting old turntables used from craigslist or ebay or a thrift shop (which can be really cheap!) id recommend the AT LP60 or any of its other models for a budget option or the AT LP120 as a solid first investment. if you go for the former youll likely have to upgrade relatively soon but the latter can last you literally forever unless it gets some major damage. thats another thing with cheap turntables, if something goes wrong (and there are a billion things that can go wrong) you have to buy a whole new turntable, while others are extremely modular and (provided you find yourself sticking with the hobby) last years and even decades with a few upgrades as you find yourself needing them. plus these turntables come with a built in preamp which means less expense for you unless you want to upgrade. you also need a pair of speakers, for beginners id recommend getting active speakers since it takes another thing off youre list and means you just need the speakers and the turntable to start listening to records.

as for finding the records, while it is definitely more expensive than any other medium (other than maybe wax cylinders because those are stupid and worse than records in every conceivable way and thats saying something) there are plenty of ways to find savings. going directly to your local record store and crate digging is one way, youll often find used records in good condition. discogs is a great website for finding physical music, especially records. ebay is fine but its prices are generally not as competitive as discogs.

some tips and notes:

coloured vinyl does not sound worse than black vinyl thats a rumour that was started by old white men who were upset teen girls find records pretty (except glow in the dark, that does sound worse)

a lot of things people say are absolutely necessary really and truly arent but that makes it really hard to figure out which things are actually absolutely necessary.

in that vein if someone tells you that you need to remove the preamp from your at lp120 run very quickly in the opposite direction they are an audiophile and cannot be trusted

hold your records by the outer edge and the label instead of pinching the edge and DO NOT touch the grooves.

clean your records with a microfiber cloth before playing them.

i recommend replacing the paper innersleeves with nicer ones.

do not stack records, keep them upright like a book, and also dont keep too many of them squished up close together, and also dont let them lean on each other too much.

be careful with your needle, and keep it clean. also, pay attention to the tracking weight of your cartridge and the antiskate on your tonearm. sometimes a skip on your record is actually because of something wrong here.

the plural of vinyl (the material) is vinyl but the plural of vinyl (as in short for vinyl records) is vinyls because its an abbreviation of a singular phrase. old white dudes are wrong in service of being condescending. this is not new. say it how you want. language and the people who try to police it are both tools.

buy whatever records make you happy and not what you think you should buy.

[stovetuna]

This is for @bardingbeedle who yelled at me in the tags and then on messenger and ultimately inspired me to write some “lorge soft steve” and tbh who am I to refuse. (also high-key inspired by this masterpiece of fanart I RBed [again] earlier today)

(takes place shortly after the events of Avengers Assemble episode 2x07, aka the best fic none of us ever wrote)

(heed the READ MORE!)

***

Tony is hustling from one meeting to the next, all but literally running into the kitchen for a cup of afternoon coffee, when he spies Steve Rogers bent over the communal living room coffee table. That in and of itself isn’t exactly outside the realm of normal Steve Rogers activities—the man does love a good brood, even if he won’t admit it and doesn’t do it as often as he used to.

But Tony wracks his brain for possible reasons why Steve would be hunched up around the shoulders like he’s expecting a body blow any minute and keeps coming up empty. Not even fresh coffee makes his synapses fire faster. Did they forget his birthday? Impossible. Did someone send Captain America hate mail? Uh, doubly impossible, especially because Tony’s got lawyers screening their mail for that kind of stuff (they’ve got more than enough pressure in their day-to-day lives, time-slip dinosaurs and age regressions notwithstanding).

Maybe Steve found a piece of upsetting news, or some fact of modern history that isn’t sitting well with him? That’s a lot more likely.

Before he can remind himself that Pepper’s waiting in his office to put him on a call with the president of MIT—something about a commencement speech, if memory serves—Tony is sauntering into the living room, nonchalant, tongue already prickling with some smart remark. He’s got it all written out in his head like a perfect line of code up until the moment he’s standing in front of Steve and sees the expression on his face.

“Whoa, who ran over your puppy?”

Tony winces, wishing for the millionth time that his mouth and his brain could work together simultaneously, but no. Worse, Steve doesn’t even answer him—he just frowns harder, if that’s even possible, and folds in on himself like his shoulders alone don’t take up half the length of the massive couch. Tony lowers the hand holding his coffee and blinks.

“Steve?”

“Oh!” Steve jumps upright, and quick as a flash moves something vaguely folder-shaped behind his back. “Tony! I didn’t hear you walk in—don’t you have a meeting right now?”

Something in Tony’s chest squeezes at the sight of that smile and at Steve’s impeccable attention to detail. But really, ever since the incident with the Time Stone, when he’d jolted back into his adult body and come to in Steve’s arms, he’s felt completely knocked off-balance. Now everything about Steve Rogers—the man, not the superhero—is a revelation. Every smile, every word, every look has Tony tripping over his own feet, tongue, thoughts. He may be back in his adult body, but he’s never felt more like a prepubescent teenager with a crush, fidgeting in place under Steve’s gaze.

“It got postponed,” he lies, because whatever has put that pinch between Steve’s eyebrows is way more important right now. “What’s up?”

“Nothing!” Steve replies, too loud and too quickly. Tony gives him a look. Steve flushes, shrinking in on himself even further, like he wants the couch to devour him. “Uh, nothing important. Just an anniversary I forgot about.”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to frown. He likes to think he’s got a solid mental calendar of important dates for all of his teammates memorized at this point—Natasha’s move-in, Bruce’s lab incident, Sam’s SHIELD acceptance, Steve being found in the ice—but none of those are today.

“Got room for one more?” Tony asks, nodding at the scant space next to Steve on the couch when the man gives him a questioning look. Steve’s cheeks immediately go a charming shade of pink, which churns the coffee in Tony’s empty stomach with a vengeance. Steve shifts to press himself against the arm as Tony moves to sit down next to him, almost crushing the folder Steve had hidden earlier in the process. There’s a gasp, and a lightning-quick hand, and then Steve, pale and breathless, is holding a manila folder against his chest like it’s the secret to the Super Soldier Serum.

It’s weird—Tony knows Steve trusts him, and vice versa. They wouldn’t have solved the riddle of the Time Stone if they didn’t trust each other. So to sit next to Steve, who’s gone from morose to terrified in the three minutes since Tony walked into the room and feel a wall between them is jarring. And upsetting. He’s only been nursing this crush for a few days, and Steve’s not that perceptive…is he? Maybe he is. Maybe this is Steve weeding out Tony’s feelings before they’ve even had a chance to grow.

Tony shakes his head at the thought. No, Steve’s a lot of things, but cruel isn’t one of them.

“Care to share with the class?” he asks, gently so he doesn’t spook Steve. It seems to work: Steve relaxes, tension falling from his shoulders as he eases into Tony’s presence. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, but keeps the folder pressed securely against his sternum. Tony tries hard not to steal a glance at the way Steve’s shirt pulls across his broad, thick chest as he breathes.

“It’s nothing.”

“Cap, if it was nothing, you wouldn’t be trying to Honey-I-Shrunk-Myself into the couch right now.”

Steve Rogers in active wear doesn’t cut quite the same figure as Steve Rogers in full Captain America regalia, it’s true, but that doesn’t mean he’s small. Like this, he’s just as large and has just as much presence as he does in uniform; it’s just…more human. Less Captain, more Steve. Both are devastating in their own way, but only Steve—friendly, blushing, awkward, unassuming Steve—makes Tony acutely aware of the distance between their bodies, down to the last electrified hair.

Catching his own breath, Tony puts his full mug on the coffee table and drops his hands into his lap, turning his head to watch Steve chew on whatever words are fighting to come out. Be patient, he tells himself. Whatever this is, Steve’s struggling with it, and Tony can have some tact when he wants to.

Finally, Steve closes his eyes and sighs. When he lowers his hands, the folder goes with them. Tony glances at the cover and almost swallows his tongue.

“Is that—?” Steve makes a noncommittal sound, like a ‘yes’ but softer, uncertain, like he’s not sure Tony’s reaction is a good one. Tony swallows his excitement with a wince. “Is that the Project Rebirth file? I told Fury to give it to you a long time ago, but I wasn’t sure he did.”

Tony is so preoccupied looking at the folder he doesn’t hear Steve’s gasp or notice his eyes lock onto him. “He did,” Steve replies quietly after a pause. “But that’s isn’t…that’s not what this is about.”

That’s kind of a surprise. The sudden appearance of the Project Rebirth file would explain Steve’s face and body language, but if it’s not that…

Steve hands the entire folder over to Tony without another word.

“Uh,” Tony gapes, too awestruck to achieve any kind of higher brain function.

“Look at the date,” Steve says. It’s not an order, just a gentle request, but it doesn’t prevent a shiver from rippling down the length of Tony’s spine. If he was hyperaware of the space between their bodies before, it’s even worse now with Steve leaning every-so-slightly toward him and reaching out a hand to point directly at the date written on the faded label.

22 June 1943

Tony blinks. “It’s the anniversary…of you?” He opens the folder without a second thought, and the first thing he sees is a picture of Steve. There are other things in the file—sheaves of what look like medical reports, heavily redacted memos, and carbon copies of typed letters—but the only thing Tony can focus on is Steven Grant Rogers circa 1943. The Steven Grant Rogers of before.

He’s touching the photo before he can stop himself, being so, so careful as he traces the narrow shape of the man in the photograph while the real, supersized thing sits next to him.

“It’s the first time I’ve really had a chance to sit and think about what it was like, before,” Steve says, unprompted. “Everything happened so fast once I got the serum, I didn’t have time to just…take it all in. And then I went into the ice and—well. You know the rest.”

All skin and bones, this man, back then. But the jut of his jaw is the same; the serum didn’t change that, or the flinty stubbornness in Steve’s eyes, or the proud set of his shoulders, just daring the world to try and fuck with him. Tony smiles—Steve before the serum is like a matchstick, short and thin and always one spark away from bursting into flame. He really didn’t change a bit.

When Tony finally looks up from the photo (not gazing, of course not), he sees Steve’s expression has gone pinched again, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.

“Alright, there’s that face again. Out with it, Cap.”

Steve really shouldn’t bite his lip—it’s bad for Tony’s health. But Tony’s comment does get him to smile a little bit, which is good. “I guess…it’s been over seventy years since I got the serum, but most days I still feel like that skinny guy in the picture.” Tony watches him as he speaks, taking in the faraway look in Steve’s eyes, the shrinking posture, the downward turn of his mouth—who says I can’t be observant, Tony thinks—and wishes he and Steve were the kind of friends who hugged outside of catastrophic cosmic events. God knows it looks like Steve could use one, as wound up and tense as he is right now.

“I’ve broken so many things by accident because I keep forgetting I’m this, now,” he says, gesturing broadly at himself with one hand. Frowning, Steve uses that same hand to brace his forehead, elbow dropping down onto his thigh. The man is the picture of misery, and Tony aches to comfort him. It’s a physical pull in the pit of his stomach, urgent and needy—like if he doesn’t get his arms around Steve Rogers right this second, something important inside him is going to malfunction.

Tony shoves his hands under his thighs and nods. “Dr. Erskine could turn you into a super soldier,” he says softly, “but he couldn’t erase the first 27 years of your life.” He doesn’t speak his next thought aloud—that if there was in fact a way to erase those years, Tony would have signed up for the very first clinical trial. It’s a grim thought, and not something Steve needs to hear right now, but it’s been on Tony’s mind ever since his brief return to adolescence, and it’s a hard one to shake.

But what Steve heard seems to help. He peeks at Tony through his fingers and swallows loud enough even Tony can hear it.

“Yeah,” he rasps, “something like that.”

“What else?”

“What?”

“What else is bugging you? About this?”

Steve lowers his hand and stares at Tony. Stares. It’s such a feeling, being stared at by Steve Rogers, Tony can feel the heat climbing up from underneath his t-shirt. Even the arc reactor feels a bit warmer in his chest.

“How could you tell?”

“You’re still doing your level-best impression of a Shrinky Dink, Cap,” Tony replies. “Kind of hard not to notice.”

“I have no idea what that is,” Steve laughs, a hoarse, dry sound, “but you’re not wrong. I guess…I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words.”

“Try.”

Seriously, when Steve looks at him like that—like he did when Tony soared through the air as Iron Kid, all awe and pride and warmth—Tony feels capable of anything. Anything. He’d bottle that feeling, if he could, just like he’d bottle the color of Steve’s hair in the afternoon light coming in through the living room windows right now, all warm, pale yellows shot through with gold. If the photo in the file were in full color, Tony would bet his fortune Steve’s hair would be the same shade it is now.

Because Steve Rogers has always been perfect. Damn him.

“I still feel small,” Steve says, and any thoughts of hair and perfection derail abruptly. Looking into the middle-distance past his nose, he continues, “I don’t fit in this body. That doesn’t make sense, but—it’s like the super soldier is a mold, and I’m just there rattling around inside it, too small to fit. Does that—does that make any sense?” He looks at Tony imploringly, begging him with his eyes to understand. Tony feels that tug again, worse now, to wrap his arms around Steve and hold him tight. Call it returning the favor for the other day with the Time Stone, call it acting on his crush, whatever.

No one so large has ever looked as small as Steve Rogers does right now.

“It does,” Tony croaks.

“Really?”

“Really. I mean, how do you think I feel inside the suit?”

Steve makes a sound at that—not a whimper, not a gasp, but something hovering between the two that splits Tony’s heart right down the middle. “I never thought of it that way,” he whispers. “But that’s it. That’s exactly it.” Visible relief fills Steve’s lungs and makes his entire body go lax, leaning closer to Tony in the process. Tony, of course, is hyperaware of Steve’s size—everyone except Thor and Hulk is small compared to him—but now he’s equally aware of who’s operating the Cap-suit, so to speak.

“The only difference is, I can take my super-suit off,” Tony says, pinching the underside of his own thigh to cut off a laugh—Steve hasn’t seen The Incredibles yet—and continues, “you can’t. That’s bound to make a guy feel uncomfortable, even you, Mr. ‘I can handle anything you throw at me.’” He elbows Steve a little, good-naturedly, for emphasis, and gets a full, beautiful smile for his efforts.

God. Skinny or huge, Steve Rogers is gorgeous. It really shouldn’t be allowed.

“Yeah, good point.” Face still split by a smile—I put that there, Tony preens—Steve leans against the back of the couch and sighs. “There are things I miss, though. About being small. I didn’t think I did, until…” He glances at Tony, then, and there’s no missing the blush creeping up his neck.

“Until?”

“The other day,” Steve replies. “When you de-aged, and I—when we—” Tony bites his tongue so hard he’s pretty sure he tastes blood. Don’t interrupt. Let him get it out. Steve laughs breathily. “When I hugged you, I was so glad I was in a position to protect you, physically, like that. But later on I kept thinking about how much I miss being the protected one, sometimes. Not always, but. Sometimes.” Steve looks at the photo and sighs. “I keep thinking about what it felt like when ma looked after me when I was sick, or when Bucky put himself between me and the bigger guy because he knew I couldn’t take another hit…sure I resented it a little, being so weak, but I liked…that.”

“You liked being cared for.”

The look Steve levels at Tony could drive away a storm.

“Yeah,” he husks. “I did.”

“And now that you’re—” Tony waves a hand at Steve’s everything, “—this, you think you don’t, what, deserve care?”

“Maybe?” Steve blinks. “I don’t know.”

“Cap—Steve,” Tony says, putting his hands palms-up in his lap so Steve can see all of him. No threat, no judgment. “Everyone wants to feel cared for. It’s human nature. And just because you’re superhuman doesn’t mean you’re inhuman.”

Damn if those therapy sessions Pepper forced him into aren’t paying off big time right now. If the sheen in Steve’s eyes is anything to go by, Tony’s hit the nail right on the head.

“Oh,” he breathes.

“Yeah,” Tony smiles. Butterflies be damned, he moves the project file onto the coffee table next to his now-cold mug and turns toward Steve. Slowly, he opens his arms. “C’mere,” he says, so quiet only Steve would hear if anyone else was around. As it is, they’re alone in the tower, and Steve doesn’t hesitate—one moment Tony’s arms are empty and the next he’s got 240 pounds of solid muscle curling into his chest and Steve’s tucking his big head under Tony’s chin like the world’s neediest Bernese mountain dog.

Thankfully, Tony’s arms are just long enough to fit all the way around Steve’s massive shoulders. And even if they weren’t, he’d find a way to make it work.

Knees knocking together, feet brushing up against each other on the carpet, Steve shifts and adjusts until he can wrap his arms around Tony’s waist. Once he settles in, he sighs right into the notch at the base of Tony’s throat. “Thank you, Tony.”

“Anytime, big guy,” Tony replies, softly with a warm smile he thinks Steve can’t see.

#bardingbeedle #steve rogers #tony stark #pre-getting together #stevetony #stony #stony fic #superhusbands #rachel writes fic #HAPPY JUNE 22 #KINDA #ignoring the fact that I'm posting this at 0130 on June 23 :3 #insecure steve rogers #insecure tony stark #tony and I see the same therapist lol #stovetuna writes #and yes 22 June is apparently the MCU date of Project Rebirth #PERFECT TIMING

[the-nysh]

I just wanna say thank you for writing the recently analysis meta for Garou being an empath, that's an excellent explanation and I always enjoyed your essay about OPM or MP100 characters!

Tbh I think the OP's post is meant to be a lighthearted one, therefore there's no intention to slander Garou's characterization at all, I assure you. On the other hand, I also like your take on Garou about the matter, the way he understands Tareo and want to help him going through it.

My dumbass brain take is, Garou has clearly shown empathy for others and totally has capacity for emotional intelligence, he just didn't know how to say it right. Knowing his social skill beforehand is pretty much non-existent, and Garou also doesn't have anyone else to opened up about himself (no friends, his mentor basically doesn't want to listen to him, everyone was kinda afraid of him, Garou himself has trust issue towards others since the bullying happened, etc). He gets difficulty on how to deliver what he actually means. Thus Garou said some dumb things instead, even though he has well-intentions. Someone please give him more friends to interact with! :""(

Anyways, thanks alot for giving more of your insight about Garou, love it! ❤

Oh! :’) Ah, thank you anon! And no worries, everything was clarified in the responses of that post, so it’s all good~

But exactly, from such circumstances of his origins, here Garou’s always felt that much, both from witnessing and experiencing injustice himself, but he’s just...never allowed himself or gained/practiced the tools needed to properly process his anger. Which compels him to hastily react (even acting on others’, like Tareo’s, behalf) and often leads him down to make some very rash (dumb) decisions without thinking things thru (cause hey he’s young). And his ability to honestly face his feelings, or even openly express himself to others is well...oop, quite inexperienced. :’D He’s basically as ‘eloquent’ as Saitama is when it comes to explaining himself and articulating his thoughts/feelings well, aha. But even so, he still can’t help but feel (cause it’s part of who he is), even when his capacity to care that much upsets him. So his inner conflict (and part of his appeal on his journey to find/accept himself) is that he’s not the heartless ‘monster’ he believes himself to be, to the point of denying his true nature and forcing himself to perform as someone he’s not. :’) Cause as we see, in those other telling moments, his true self still shines through~

---

Anyway, witnessing and lightly teasing all his antics is fun, because he’s a silly dork yes, but (and this is addressing a separate, but general fandom observation I’ve seen over time) it’s another story when I see genuine character hatred for him over on reddit for ex (usually from incomplete readings of the story or misinformation about him, from people wanting him to die or hoping Saitama kills him at the end of MA arc in extreme yikes cases)...because then I honestly can’t tell anymore if some of the fandom’s common takes & ‘jokes’ about Garou are made thru fond endearment (simply poking fun), or are just veiled excuses for continued character bashing. o.o Blurring the lines and confusing me even more when I see fellow Garou fans going along with it like it’s accepted, or unknowingly(?) spreading it further like nothing’s amiss. Like...whoa wait, guys??? I thought we already knew and trusted his character more than this? D:

For example, most of the time things are pretty chill so it’s no big deal, but sometimes I see this strange trend of mean spirited & fatalistic ‘humor’ towards him even in the teen squad posts for instance, where Garou’s often demeaned or used as the butt-end of a joke. Making bullying ‘jokes’ at his expense in ways that are....truly unfunny (especially when considering his past, it comes off either tone deaf or unsettling in poor taste). Worst case, it makes me resent those fanon characters who’re portrayed perpetuating the same cycle that got Garou so upset in the first place. D: (Which is another ❌ for me when it’s Genos who’s used in this role. ;o; So I doubly don’t like it when the Garou-bashing ‘jokes’ have the adverse effect of making me dislike Genos too, noo!) So you see? :’) It’s sometimes hard to tell what’s up or considered ‘funny’ anymore, when it feels like the circumstances that made and shunned Garou in the first place, are ironically circling back around towards him again, but playing out in real-time (which I’ve become privy to notice, but I’m not sure if other fans are aware yet). Overall, when it comes down to a case-by-case basis of what content to look for, I think Tareo canonically summarizes that mindful feeling best:

#opm #garou #Anonymous #replies #long post #uwaah! i may as well unload the general observations i've seen over time (even on reddit) #cause then it concerns me when i see garou fans playing along like there's nothing wrong (like is -this- how the fandom truly sees him?) #confusing me or putting me out when the 'jokes' towards him fall flat or border on perpetuating the cycle that upset him in the first place #...when things stop being funny but mean then it's like...oh no what's happening here #(but again this is NOT directed at any specific post...just a trend i've felt for a while) #anyway ever since wc 133 and seeing the japanese fandom's empathetic response to him... #it feels like i've become receptive towards spotting this trend...but i don't know if other fans have noticed or felt the same so aaa :'D

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

[roboromantic]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa I wanna buy Judaica and I wanna work on my custom siddur project and I wanna move out so I can finally actually become as observant* as I’d like to be

*I’m not a huge fan of saying “observant” because like, different communities have different ideas of what that means and I don’t wanna imply that someone who’s Reform isn’t observant just because they have a different view on halacha, but also I really don’t know what other word I could use so. Personally my ideal level of observance would be like. Tradegal/Modern Orthodox-ish? just make it lgbt friendly

but I’m also kinda worried that becoming more observant is gonna be off-putting to people. like I may have been an oblivious idiot in high school but even then I knew I was seen as a weirdo for praying before meals

idk it’s weird how general American culture expects religion not to affect anything outside one’s house and place of worship – even Christianity! if you’re too Christian people are gonna Notice. Not necessarily in a bad way, mind you, but even here in the Bible Belt you don’t generally walk into a McDonald’s and see people saying grace unless maybe if it’s right after church services end.

Like, religion and culture aren’t separated into neat little boxes like that. Even if secular people think they’re not Christian, they definitely are gonna notice if someone is doing non-Christian things or visibly identify themselves with some other religion.

And even if people don’t mind me being observant, it’s still gonna affect my social life if I can’t do things on Saturdays or eat anywhere bc there’s no kosher restaurants in NC (that I know of) or have to run off in the middle of the afternoon for 15 minutes or so to daven mincha somewhere

like I try to keep it lowkey (tuck in tzitzit, wear a hat over my yarmulke, etc.), especially since religious hate crimes are far and away aimed at Jews, but I don’t wanna not be observant; I converted for a reason

also I know this is probably the dumbest thing to be worried about but like.........idk I know that since I converted I’m considered just as Jewish as someone born into it (at least, by everyone who accepts Conservative conversions) but I’m still kinda worried that my Jewish friends might resent me for essentially opting into antisemitism and/or knowing more about their religion than they do

(the latter of which is doubly silly because I don’t actually know how much they know about Judaism, and triply silly considering one of them is a Norse pagan and thus probably does not particularly care!)

bc like I KNOW my friends aren’t like that but also I’ve seen other converts and baalei teshuva say their friends got upset about them becoming “more” Jewish than them (which is nonsense; no one’s “more” Jewish than anyone else except like. people who literally are not Jews)

like I’m not Chabad, I ain’t gonna try to make people be Jewish in the same way that I am, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna try to convert anybody. On the contrary! I wanna hear EVERYTHING about other people’s religious and/or spiritual practices that they’re willing to share.

I love religions and I love being Jewish but actually being an observant Jew in a state (and country, tbh) with very few of those is uuuuuhhhhhhh daunting. I really wish there was an observant(ish?) community made up of mostly lgbt people that I could go live in/near

also that IS the one thing; I don’t wanna really live in a city area but since I don’t wanna drive on Shabbat I’d have to either resign myself to never going to services or deal with a very long walk. Or maybe stay the night at someone else’s place, but I’d feel bad doing that every single week

anyway on a mostly unrelated note, we gotta write papers for our HUM final and I wanna do mine on religious literacy in the USA

#idk this is just. what's the fucking word. stream of consciousness??? #it's not exactly venting but it's not a super organized post #anyway I have homework to do #religious stuff

[elytra]

Hey idk if you heard but dream is ableist :( he straight up said the r slur on his Twitter and made fun of his autistic and mentally ill followers when they said that it was a slur (this was a few months ago so idk if the actual tweets are deleted or not)

i have a lot of things to say abt dream and the discourse he's been in tbh, im going to try to say it as eloquently (?) as possible (under the read more cause it's a bit long)

idk what the whole background is cause im not hyper active on twt and im not actually following dream atm (yes, due to drama), but apparently he recently said he has adhd, which is cool, me too etc. people with adhd can reclaim the r slur. 

people with millions of subscribers, many of which outright defended a6d when he refused to stop saying the r slur, should probably not say the r slur as it normalizes its' use. he's fully within his right to, but he really shouldn't cause he has a lot of young followers.

i think he clarified that he never actually said the slur, just defended its use (by a6d, again) a while ago, and has since changed his stance on it? but ive never seen him actually criticize a6d for his use of the slur, which disappoints me a lot cause, yknow, man's got 11 mil subscribers, he could use them for something other than hiking up the glow squids votes. the whole "a6d is my friend" thing didn't impress me either tbh.

also, im assuming that when he tweeted the r slur, no one knew he had adhd, so doubly not it. i don't know about him making fun of others who tried to call him out on it, but i think recently he joked about another streamer having a fidget spinner, and it turns out that streamer also has adhd, and a lot of people got very upset about it because it seemed like he was making fun of her for stimming? 

personally, i think in this case people are blowing things out of proportion (like the squid) cause i joke about fidget spinners too even though i have like 3 (they're good to stim with), because it was a meme for like, months. what i feel like people don't discuss enough honestly is his (and a LOT of his fans') inability to take criticism.

Like a couple months ago when he did a "war cry" and indigenous people said "hey that's offensive, don't do that please" and he got really aggressive about it, before apologizing a bit later. saying things are just a joke and not offensive and that people shouldn't be "overreacting" is just a scummy thing to do; if he said something homophobic and tried to defend himself the same way, i don't think as many people would have come to his defense. as it is, a lot of (mainly white) stans crawled out of the woodwork to belittle and invalidate indigenous people's concerns on the issue. 

i don't really want to get into his apologies and suchnot because i'm personally very bad at reading tones, but he has apologized for stuff he's done. i don't think he apologized well, but hopefully he's learning from his mistakes. i really hope stans can also stop taking criticism of ccs they like personally, because like, dream isn't gonna personally email you a thank you note for it, and you're just hurting other people by constantly defending him when he makes mistakes, plus he won't learn and grow.

um so yeah again sorry if this is really long i just have a lot of Thoughts about things and frankly the racial insensitivity thing from him and his fans has been bothering me a bit :) i like his content and im not saying that people should like, be condemned for liking him, but you can and should enjoy something or someone and still be able to criticize them, those things r not mutually exclusive

#im not really sure what you expected me to say to this but this is my personal take on the matter (as someone who is autistic and has adhd #e answers #discourse #i dont think dream is intentionally malicious or anything #but he has hurt people before #and did end up apologizing for it #and im hoping that he's learned and grown from it

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Imagine Sasha and Max being friends tho.

(i’ll be real this whole thing took multiple hours to type please somebody actually read this or I might die tbh-)

Like I know they had one episode together but think about them a c t u a l l y being friends.

(below are a ton of headcanons for a friendship between them)

- Obviously they have a bit of respect for one another because of their alliance of convenience, but their friendship would probably be forged on laughing at someone else. Whether it's their friends fucking up or Pikeman's general incompetence or whatever else. I can imagine now their camps are competing or something but the stakes don't matter to them, so Sasha and Max just end up shit talking everyone else and watching the show.

- Since their friendship was forged on calling people out they'd kinda just start hanging out specifically to rant and gossip about the shit that goes down around camp. Like Max'll get fed up with how idiotic the campbell campers are and come to vent to Sasha and she'll be here for it, because of course she is or Sasha ends up getting ditched by Tabii and Erin again and just kinda goes to Max to talk about how annoyed she is.

-  Sasha keeps pointing out things like the circled under Max's eyes and other facial discrepancies and eventually he'll just be like "well how do you look perfect all the time?!?" because it's not fair. Sasha gasps super loud and immediately goes full makeover mode. She immediately shoves a ton of makeup onto him and prescribes him a skincare routine and Max isn't sure about it but he's actually kinda self-conscious and Sasha's like "do you wanna end up looking like Pikeman?" so Max follows her instructions to the letter and he looks amazing.

  - After that they kinda just end up doing each other's makeup all the time and stuff like that. Max usually just uses like concealer and stuff because he doesn't want it to look like he's trying, but occasionally Max'll give Sasha permission to put some eyeliner on him or something and he'll never admit it but he l o v e s the way it looks. They start hanging out even more of course because it's not like Max can go to anyone else about the whole skincare/makeup thing and honestly Sasha loves her other friends but it's relieving to hang out with someone more willing to gossip with her (even if she's slightly salty that Max doesn't have enough hair for her to mess with like Erin and Tabii do)

-  Sasha forces Max to watch a ton of shitty highschool movies and Max doesn't really like most of them but he'll put up with it because he (although he'll never admit it) cares about Sasha (and is a little intimidated by her when she's upset). He doesn't like them but occasionally Max can also coerce her into watching a horror movie with him so they're even in his books (even if the poor thing has to watch way more of her movies than he makes her watch)

- They actually end up being r e a l l y protective of each other. Like most of the time, they'll let people fuck with their friends (so long as no real harm is done), yknow? But if anyone says a word about Max and it gets back to Sasha they'll literally end up the laughing stock of Lake Lilac by the end of the day because Sasha's a bitch who can spread a rumor like wildfire. Alternatively, Max'll sick Nikki and Neil on anyone who fucks with Sasha (which won't end up pretty). And that's if they're lucky because that kid could do so much worse if he's got the right motivation. They try to hide the fact that they're acting in defense of one another and justify why they're screwing over whoever it is they're screwing over, but it's honestly just vengeance for their friend.

- All the gossiping makes the two more unstoppable than they were before tbh. Like Max always had other Camp Campbell camper's secrets tucked away for blackmail purposes and Sasha needs to know everything going on in her turf so of course she's got dirt on all the Flower Scouts. And it's not exactly hard to figure out the Woodscout's. So with their swapping info constantly both of them end up knowing everything about everyone and being able to screw them over in a heartbeat. Basically, hanging out together makes those two terrifying.

- They're also more confident as a duo than most other times. Like don't get me wrong, they're both pretty sure of their capabilities, and they trust their individual friend groups to have their back, but they know that the other person is competent in manipulation and incredibly cunning and they value each other's skillsets because they're super similar. When you're confident in yourself, having somebody who's like you around only makes you doubly confident. They feel super badass whenever they team up in something and it's great.

- Most of their arguments are probably petty tbh. Max calls one of Sasha's favorite movies dumb (she bases her life around highschool stereotypes and dumb cliche movies, of course, she gets pissed when he insults them) or Sasha makes one too many comments about Max's physical appearance (the girl is obsessed with looking good and as much as Max is willing to listen to her advice, it gets to him when she comments on his weight or how he needs to sleep more because the circles under his eyes are getting harder to cover up. Like, he has depression, do you not realize that weight changes and bad sleeping habits are a symptom of that?!?). A common source of disagreement is how used to being in charge they each are. Like yeah, they know they don't always have to take the lead, but it's so ingrained into them that they struggle with it. Max watches Sasha's dumb movies all the time and took her advice on skincare and stuff so she occasionally forgets that she's not his boss like she's in charge of her other friend's and of course he's willing to compromise on some things but he doesn't take well to being treated like a lackey and she's too stubborn to admit she's wrong half the time.

- Their fights get bad. Despite normally being over small things and the person who's in the wrong normally realizing they're the one who's wrong, both Max and Sasha are very stubborn people and they will die on this hill no matter how petty the whole thing is honestly. They'll scream and throw things and once or twice they've even wound up physically fighting. Usually, if it comes to an actual physical altercation they'll stop there because actually injuring your friend is super fucked up. Once Max threw a book at Sasha without thinking and it gave her a black eye. Another time Sasha literally slapped him and it left a bruise for like a week. They both felt like shit after. When Sasha gave Max a bruise she literally cried and he forgave her on the condition that she help him cover the bruise with makeup (He said he'd dealt with worse and something about the way he said it made her uneasy. She can't place why). The time that Max hit Sasha with a book he froze up completely and refused to even look at her for like an hour. Partially because he felt guilty and couldn't verbalize his regret but it was honestly more than that. You don't shut down and practically disassociate for an hour because you don't know what to say. There was absolutely something wrong with the way he shut down after the whole thing but she didn't push for answers and he apologized and they just decided to forget it ever happened. They never aim to actually hurt one another, they just don't have many ways to actually get out their frustrations. They never once actually physically hurt the other more than once each. It's just not something either of them wants to go through again, honestly. If their arguments don't end with one of them going too far and the two felt like shit and making up within seconds one of them will eventually storm off and they'll both get super petty. Making sarcastic remarks at one another whenever they see each other, pointedly ignoring the other, the occasional mean prank. Usually, they forget all about it within a week, though, because as stubborn as they are something dumb happens to one of them and they'll need to vent. None of their fights are ever serious, as nasty as they are, so it's easy to get over and never gets mentioned again.

- They had one serious fight that actually put their friendship in danger. Tabii had ended up crying to Sasha because she was devastated over being rejected by Neil. Like, she was super broken up about how he doesn't love her and it's probably because she's ugly even though Erin told her she wasn't. Sasha wasn't happy about it. At all. Like, she normally just rolls her eyes and brushes it off whenever she sees Tabii going after him, but she watched so many stupid cliche high school movies where the girl got the guy if he was good and anyone who rejects the protagonist is an asshole. So Sasha, going by movie logic, was pretty sure that Neil was insulting Tabii by rejecting her and was a terrible person. She also failed to realize that Tabii's whole attitude towards pursuing Neil was kinda creepy and stalkerish to begin with and she already had a low opinion of him since he's a nerd who called her a cunt and hangs out with Nikki, who she also hates. She did not like seeing one of her best friends in the world (who's basically like a sister to her tbh) cry. So Sasha, with a burning rage towards Neil, wound up spilling the whole thing to Max. And he wasn't happy with her for insulting his friend either. Max basically cussed Sasha out because Tabii's behavior was creepy and it was making Neil super uncomfortable, which he was not cool with. He told her she was a moron if she saw nothing wrong with how Tabii acted but thought that Neil was out of line for rejecting her. Sasha didn't take well to being called a moron or to her friend being accused of being creepy, and she said something along the lines of "It's not my fault you hang out with a retarded nerd and a girl who can't even be a girl properly". Max basically called her an ignorant bitch and told her to go fuck herself, then he left. Normally their arguments are long and wordy and even violent but this time he just cut it short and stormed out. Sasha still thought she was right, of course, because that boy who Max was friends with had made Tabii cry and he was a moron for not liking her! And yeah maybe the insults to Nikki weren't exactly called for but every word was true, right?  She just kinda expected Max to get over it eventually but a few weeks passed and he never really did. The fact that Max had called her ignorant kinda stuck out to her more than anything. That's the same thing Neil had called her, isn't it? Why would they both use the same insult? It's not like that was a go-to thing to call somebody. The whole thing drove her crazy and eventually when she confronted him about it she got a long lecture about how romantic relationships work, the fact that bullying a girl over dressing or acting slightly differently from her is a shitty thing to do, and that calling Neil 'retarded' is offensive because he's actually mentally ill and even if he weren't, the word's still terrible. She didn't quite understand all of it but she got enough to feel guilty and she apologized. Sasha still doesn't really like Nikki and Neil much and it's not like she's stopped shit-talking them, but she's eased up a bit because she doesn't want Max that angry at her again, and in a way she can see how she maybe...was a tiny bit wrong.

- They don't normally get super sad or deep on each other. Neither really likes to be emotional or open up so they wouldn't exactly initiate any sort of depressing dialogue. However, they are both observant people so they notice things anyway. Max notices how Sasha talks a little too much about her weight and thinks anything over one hundred pounds is horrifically obese to the point where she diets incessantly. He notices that she cares too much about looking young and pretty too. Damned highschool movies. Sasha, on the other hand, notices that Max doesn't trust adults at all and that he flinches when she gets too loud (even if he tries to cover it up) and that he either doesn't sleep at all or sleeps way too often...amoung other things of course. They don't talk about these things out loud but they've both deduced that the other isn't healthy.

- Max practically forces Sasha to eat every time they see each other and refuses to watch a single movie with her that even mentions dieting in a positive light because she is ten years old and shouldn't be counting calories and refusing absolutely all fat. He'll insist on doing her makeup and will make sure to do it lighter and lighter every time because as much as he himself appreciates makeup and uses it to cover parts of his skin he doesn't like, she needs to be more confident and he can't in good conscience let her go on the way she's been going on. Sasha, on the other hand, if she ever notices he's having a bad day and isn't functioning well, will let him hide out with her all day even if she has other things to do and he should be at camp. Occasionally she'll even let Nikki or Neil in her room if she or they feel Max really needs their support (he can't just stay at his own camp, he'd never be allowed out of activities all day). She doesn't exactly understand why he's sad and tired and angry and has a hard time with sleep but she won't ask. Sasha has some theories on why he doesn't trust any adult and flinches when she yells but she doesn't like thinking on that one too long (his comment when she slapped him 'i've had worse' comes to mind). They're not always great at it and they don't always understand but they try to help each other even if they have an unspoken rule not to ask questions.

- While they normally spend their hang-out time watching movies or doing each other's makeup/hair/nails or talking crap about other's behind their backs, they've occasionally had adventures of their own. They typically leave Lake Lilac for these, honestly. Sasha couldn't care less about anything going on at Camp Campbell and Max isn't about to get involved in Flower Scout politics so if they're ever inclined to go on an adventure it's in town or even the big city. And usually involves crime one way or another tbh. Once they accidentally managed to get Max elected mayor of the whole town and Sasha as treasurer. Money was embezzled, fires were set, and they're now banned from muffin tops for life. That's the kind of adventure those two have whenever they're compelled to do anything at all. Go big or go home, basically.

- They're actually super honest with each other. The general light-hearted nature of their friendship and the fact that they gossip and chatter about pretty much everything that pops into their heads means they don't exactly stress about getting judged or anything like that as long as they aren't confessing to horrific sins or anything.

- They love to fuck with Pikeman. Like they normally just sit around at the Flower Scout's camp or out in town or the city or something like that but occasionally they'll screw him over because they both can agree he's an incompetent asshole who deserves it.

- Sasha flipped her shit when she realized that Max knows how to bake, cook, sew, and knit (he definitely can knit and sew we’ve seen him do it in the show and I headcanon he’d have to learn to cook and stuff cause his parents don’t feel like doing it for him) She nearly died and made him sew/knit her a bunch of stuff for her and decided they had to bake together and she was just super happy about it. Once upon a time, she would've judged him for it because of gender roles and stuff and she wasn't used to guys doing any of those things, but after the whole incident where he called her an ignorant bitch she wasn't gonna push it and besides, she was happy to have her gossip and makeup buddy also be able to do those other things with her. Like she can do those things with Tabii and Erin too but Max kinda gets her and she needs a break from the two sometimes.

- Most people don't actually know they're friends. Nikki and Neil are vaguely aware they hang out but they don't see much besides the occasional banter when the Flower Scouts and Camp Campbell interact as a group. Max doesn't talk about Sasha much around them since he knows they don't exactly like her. Sasha doesn't dare mention their friendship around Tabii and Erin because they'd freak out completely and probably assume they're dating since those two don't realize guys and girls can actually have platonic friendships. She doesn't want that drama. Their friendship is kinda a secret, which is surprising since they may not talk about it but they visit each other and chat enough when they cross paths that you'd think people would realize. But they're kinda glad. Lake Lilac is a chaotic place and when they're hanging out it's one of the only times they even have the option of just relaxing.

(imma be real I literally came up with the idea of those two being really close friends because I watched the episode where Nikki hung out with Dolph and Nerris and I thought 'Max have other friend too? :0')

Literally, ANY input is welcome. I spent multiple hours on this so if you have anything to say you know I'm down for a conversation about it

#camp camp #cc sasha #cc max #sasha and max