#which is a big ring-a-ling

[web-novel-polls]

Web Novel Weapon Tournament

[Please be courteous in the notes.]

Zidian - Jiang Cheng/Madam Yu's whip (MDZS)

Wiki Link

The Jiang Clan’s family heirloom that transforms from a ring into a whip. It was originally used by Madam Yu until her death when she (and separately her husband) used it to bind and protect Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian from the invading Wens. 

A symbol of family and honor given from Madam Yu to Jiang Cheng, Zidian’s owner can allow others to use it, as shown by Jiang Fengmian realizing Zidian recognized him before his and Madam Yu’s death and Jiang Cheng leaving Zidian with Jin Ling. 

Ruoye - Xie Lian’s spiritual device (TGCF)

Wiki Link

Submission:

Ruoye is technically a demonic weapon or whatever as it doesn't need spiritual power to control, but that also might just be because it's sentient and has a will of it's own but is deeply loyal to Xie Lian obviously. Ruoye can extend REALLY far!!! And he can form protection barriers, and decapitate zombies, and chop vegetables. There's nothing this good bandage baby can't do!! Peak performance! AND it'll pretend to do a snake dance while Xie Lian plays an instrument while busking!! Isn't that adorable! Xie Lian wears it on his wrists usually, and sometimes Ruoye will like tighten or rub his wrists to express fear or comfort Xie Lian and its so cute. Ruoye is so good. Personally I think despite Ruoyes background being like. Horribly tragic, thats what makes it so Good. All that pain and suffering made this thing that ended up protecting Xie Lian all these 800 years. But I left it last in case it's too much.  (tw suicide mention) Ruoye was created after being soaked in Xie Lian's blood when it was used to tie him up while various people stabbed him with a sword a hundred times. Then when he was able to return home, it was used by his parents to kill themselves for a variety of reasons we won't get into. Then, upon finding them, he tried to kill himself too. But his cursed shackles prevented his mortal body from dying, so when he died he just came back; he came back to a silk bandage that after taking the life of 2 royals, and being soaked in the blood of a royal and former god and stuff, it came to life!! With resentment technically. But he's a good boy.

E-ming - Hua Cheng’s cursed scimitar (TGCF)

Wiki Link 

Submission:

E-ming is the best boy. Hua Cheng forged his saber when he was defending humans who got caught in the middle of a big ghost battle for dominance, essentially. He dug out his cursed red eye and created E-ming from it. So his eye is on the pommel of the sword, right in the center above the handle, and it emotes!! When its happy, the eye curves into a crescent and it vibrates!!! It cries when Hua Cheng is mean to it in a fucked up sense of self loathing since his sword is born from him!! E-ming grows bigger when Xie Lian(Hua Cheng's god and eventual husband) kisses the blade, because silly erection joke! But also it begs Xie Lian for praise and attention because its BEST. BOY. Oh and I guess also the entirety of the heavens fears the cursed blade E-ming, which has the power to reopen any wounds its made an on an individual before. Just the thought of E-ming makes gods shake in their boots. But more importantly, he's best boy.

#zidian #mdzs #ruoye #eming #e ming #tgcf #mxtx #polls #wn weapon round 3 #web novel weapon tournament #queue

[downforthegas]

Cw: long post, stuffing, slight overstuffing, big bellies, tummy aches, tummy gurgles, burping (and with a certain yellow puppet man)

Oh idk just... Wa//lly Dar//ling gets into the storage area of Ho//wdy's and finds a whole crate of apples. He just can't help himself and by the time you find him, he's leaning against the side of the crate, now full of apple cores. He now has a big pot belly the size of a basketball. The buttons on his cardigan are struggling to stay together and you can kind of see his belly peaking out from under his shirt. He looks happy, but you can tell he also feels a little sick, a little hiccup causing him to bounce a little. His belly looks so cute and you're blushing just looking at it.

He wants to get up, but he can hardly move after his little apple binge. You kneel down next to him, and unbutton his cardigan and shirt. His belly is now on full display, and as you unzip his pants that hugged him tightly, he sighs, feeling a little bit of relief. You gently rub your hands across his belly, hearing the gurgles and feeling the rumbles against your hands. It felt wonderful and so did Wa//lly. He took your hands and guided them towards the spots that needed the most attention.

Then you saw one more apple. It was pretty big and completely untouched. Wa//lly must've missed it. You offer the apple to him, and even though he feels a dull pain in his belly, he's unsure. But he sees your puppy-dog eyes, and decides to give in. Besides, even when he's stuffed, he can't resist a good apple. He concentrates hard on the fruit, almost loosing the concentration, but he manages to slowly but surely finish. You're delighted and so is Wa//lly.

But then a loud, low sound grumbles from his belly, the pain is now sharp and Wa//lly holds his little hands against the sides of it. "Too much, too much," he says, gently trying to rub circles in his sides. You move his hands and rub his painful belly spots. He whimpers at the cramping feeling, regretting his decision, as you apply pressure, which seems to move something around.

Wa//lly hiccups again, really hard, making his chest hurt a little, when a long, loud belch rings out of him. He blushes a little. "Excuse me, neighbor," he says. His belly grumbles again. He can't hold it back now, even if he tried. Now that the floodgate are open, Wa//lly holds his chest as he repeatedly belches and belches, some long, some short, but VERY loud. He's so embarrassed about this, but he can't help it. He can't deny how good it feels. As he's burping up a storm, you rub his belly to keep the burps coming. you know this is gonna really help his stomach. And it does

Finally, after what felt like an hour, Wa//lly feels better. His belly is still big, but its a little smaller than earlier. He can finally stand up and you two leave the storage room, hopefully before How//dy catches you two.

~

Jeez, uh, I didn't mean for this to go on for ages but I got carried away lol I may or may not do a part 2... but with... other gasses🥴

#bloated belly #belly ache #stuffing #tummy kink #burping #burp kink #feedee belly #eructophilia #eructo #belching #belly burp #playfellowxxx #gassyfellowxxx

[helleboretks]

Relax, You Two

This is a Ler!Riza, Lee!Edward and Lee!Ling tickle fic, with a little bit of Lers!Mustang and Hughes!! If this isn’t your forte, no need to read!

This is also Post-Promised Day, with the good ol’ Alive!Hughes au!

Summary: Riza easily notices how the two boys are still paranoid after it all. In her opinion, they need a day off.

The Hawk’s Eye catches all in her gaze.

A slight of hand, a petty crime preparation, the key to taking down drug rings. No matter how big or how small it may be, she sees it. She can stare at it as if it were clear as day. Nothing slips past her gaze, and everyone knows it.

So how could these two boys ever think their paranoia would go unnoticed?

Riza sees the way Edward throws himself into more research, almost in hysteria if he doesn't. She sees the way Ling gets jumpy near a window, or a door, or any dark place just big enough to hide a human.

Riza sees the way Edward stares off as Alphonse rests in the hospital, mere weeks after the Promised Day. The way his hand is placed on his brother’s chest, as if he can’t believe there is a beating heart just below the surface of pale skin, as if it will be ripped away from him if he wasn’t there to protect his little brother.

And Riza sees the way Ling’s body is constantly tense, fingers itching for something to curl around–something sharp to defend himself with– and how his head swivels about, scanning every inch and every crevice of every room he’s in.

Paranoia can do a lot to kids so thoroughly traumatized. She knows the feeling.

It does not mean she will let this slide.

So she took them for a day out with her.

.

.

.

It didn't really work.

She had tried to take them to a clothing store, and as a result she had to compensate for thoroughly checking every rack they went to in order to quell Ling's whining. He wouldn't dare come so close to them until she did.

She tried a jewelry store next, and all Edward would talk about was 'Alphonse would like this' or 'Alphonse would like that'. Which wasn't bad at all, mind you. She thought it was rather sweet, actually.

But 'I hope Al is okay' and 'Those doctors better treat him well' or 'I really need to check on Al so I should go' weren't exactly good examples of relaxing.

She took them to as many places as she could within four whole hours, and nothing seemed to bring their guard down all that much, save for a few seconds of vulnerability at least twice or thrice.

It's a concerning situation for them to be in.

And she can't let this slide.

So she vowed to do something as soon as possible.

That comes into play when they find themselves in Mustang’s office.

It doesn’t take very long for the boys to start up their bantering by Edward’s desk, going back and forth about some topic she couldn’t distinguish (or maybe they were flying through a whole plethora of topics at once, she wouldn’t be surprised if they were capable of that).

For once, she allows herself to do some minor paperwork from the comfort of the couch, seeing as there isn’t much to do today anyways. She had deliberately cleared her schedule of anything major today just to spend some time with the boys, after all.

She doesn’t really try to involve herself in whatever it is they are arguing over, at the moment, but the argument seems to find its way to her anyways.

“Lieutenant!” Edward whines aloud as he flops against the cushions to Riza’s left. She turns to him as Ling huffs with crossed arms, but he clearly seems to be holding in his amusement of the situation.

“Yes, Edward?” It’s not often she gets to hear this whiny tone from him, given he isn’t much of a person to complain–around her at least, she doesn’t feel very sorry for the others–, so she decides to provide them both with her attention.

“There’s this damn Xingese phrase that Ling keeps saying and he won’t tell me what it fucking means!-” “Well I think I’d like to keep my things to myself, Ed!” She blinks slowly as they start their back and forth again almost immediately.

“If you wanna keep it to your damn self, don’t say anything!”

“Well I’m not gonna tell a lie, am I? Nǐ kànshàngqù hěnpiàoliang!!”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKING MEANS!? I DON’T SPEAK BROKE ALIEN-”

Ling lets out a wheeze at that, laughing out ‘Broke Alien!?’ as he clutches his sides. Riza lets out a soft sigh as Edward grumbles and complains. They seem so carefree here. At first glance, anyone would assume so. Just two kids bickering and going at it over a silly phrase in Xingese.

But Edward’s shoulders are tense, and Ling falls into a seat on the other side of Riza, posture defensive, ready to fight back. His arms are the most mobile part of his body as they bickered; crossing, flailing, gesturing, expressing. They never stop, and they always stray too close to his pockets.

Edward’s bouncing flesh leg says a lot as it is, but the way he’s hunching so much seems to seal the deal.

It most certainly does for Riza.

She sighs, tossing the pen onto the table before her as she lets the papers fall onto that table with it. “That’s quite enough boys.” She spoke up.

Before either of them have time to properly react, she gently presses their heads against her lap, shutting up the duo immediately; Edward’s silence spoke volumes of realization, whilst Ling’s…she isn’t quite sure what he might have been thinking.

She’s done this to Edward a few times in the past years, but it has been a while she must admit. Perhaps she’s gotten rusty? Only one way to truly find out.

“Lieutenant, please.” Edward muttered as Ling absentmindedly turned on his back, spacing off. Edward’s face steadily grew rosey as she did not, in fact, let them up.

“I’ve been trying to help you two relax all day. Although, I suppose it would have been futile no matter what I tried. Or so I had thought.” Riza casually spoke as Edward tensed up, throwing his arms around his torso and ducking his face into his chest. He knows better than to try and escape anyways, the first few times he did were always a hellish reminder, she knew that well. The only thing he can really do is feebly try and protect himself, whilst his partner stays entirely oblivious.

“Huh?” Ling eventually hums, confused with a tilted head. Riza smiles down gently at him, disarmingly. He smiles right back at her, eyes closed with a grin of cheeky cuteness. Innocent and harmless.

Until she digs her nails into Ling’s side.

The yelp that greets them is high and startled, and Edward flusteredly flinches as Ling begins to giggle feverishly, squirming away from her touch. “H-Hehehehehey!! What gihihihives!?” He cries out, rolling this way and that under her arm.

“It’s simply a last resort. Perhaps I should have started with this first?” Riza contemplates to herself, seeking out anything that will get her a laugh out of the soon-to-be-Xing-emperor. He squeals at a pinch to the ribs, so Riza takes advantage of that, scribbling all along his ribs-wherever she can reach. Which is pretty much everywhere, he doesn’t seem to know how to protect himself.

Meanwhile, she smiles down at the flustered blond to her left, the anticipation alone having him flinch every time her fingers so much as twitch. “You seem awfully nervous, Edward. Is something wrong?” She asks, putting on yet another innocent facade.

“Nohoho…!” Edward practically whines, turning his head all the way away from her and giggling when Ling jerked and pressed the top of his own head against Ed’s. He gasps when her finger traces down his side, and almost instinctively snatches and holds it up.

Ah yes, as if that will save him from the inevitable.

For now, she concentrates on Ling.

“You don’t seem to be trying to protect yourself, Ling. I wonder why that is?” Ling squeaks as her hand travels to his neck, and his legs kick out like an excited little puppy as she flutters her fingertips at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He really seems to be enjoying this, isn’t he?

“That tihihickles! Pleehehehehease, oh myhihihi god!” Ling begs, his fists shaking as if he doesn’t know whether or not to grab her hand away. Her heart practically swells at such a cute display, she can’t help but tease her fingers right under his chin.

At that, Ling jerks harshly and his eyes shoot wide open as a loud squeal rips out of him. “TICKLEEES!! NAHAHAHAHA!!!” He shrieks, startling both blondes as he loudly laughs and shakes his head, raven hair flying wildly. She almost couldn’t keep her fingers on his chin from all his squirming.

“A sensitive chin? Now that’s new.” Riza observes, quelling the urge to smirk at the way Edward rolls half-way onto his stomach, ears pink and flustered. He even lets go of her hand, which she doesn’t waste hovering it right over his spine. He’s probably had enough of waiting, anyways.

“Are you ready for your turn, Edward?” Her nonchalant question makes the boy flinch, and he shakes his head rapidly with giggles already spilling out. “Why are you laughing already? I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Be-becahause Ling’s laughihing!” Edward complains. “IHIHIH’M SAHAHARRY!! IT TIHIHICKLES-IT-IT-IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAN’T STAHAHAHAP!!!” Ling sputters and wheezes out between his laughter. “Edward, how could you laugh at your friend like that?”

Edward stutters for an answer, but the moment he opens his mouth all that comes out is a loud, high-pitched yelp as Riza drags all five fingers down the length of his spine, causing him to arch away.

He exploded with laughter, maybe even louder than Ling’s as she massages her knuckles into the center of his shoulder blades, a loud resounding snort escaping along with it. That only causes Ling to laugh harder, scrunching up his neck.

So she tries the next best thing and goes for his belly.

He immediately melts at the affectionate tickling.

He finally goes for some form of defense, balling up fetally to try and protect his poor belly, but Riza’s hand was already there and it wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

“Oh wow, I’m surprised that you’re both so ticklish.” Riza happily comments to the two snorting, giggling, cackling boys, heads in her lap with varying degrees of blush on their faces. Carefree, just like she’d been going for all day.

No tension in the shoulders, no discreet defensive stance, no underlying tension like only minutes before.

It was just them, giggling and cackling away like nobody’s business.

“HEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHE!!!” Edward cried out, causing the smile Riza sports to stretch further. “I CAHAHAN’T!!! I CAN’T-PLEHEHEHEHEHEAAAHAHAH-” The poor thing snorts gain when she switches to his side.

Ling tries with all his might to latch onto something-anything to ground himself, eventually finding Edward’s arm and holding on for dear life as he giggled himself silly. However, Riza decides to take advantage of this, and the Xingese soon-to-be-emperor squeals and tries to defend himself when she starts drilling right under his arm.

This, as luck would have it, clearly didn’t weaken his grip on Ed’s arm, only causing him to fling it up and out of the way and only making Edward even more accessible to her.

This was almost too easy.

Edward screams out the moment Riza targets his armpit, his thrashing increasing tenfold as his legs begin to kick and kick endlessly. She had to switch to the other one just so he wouldn’t throw himself off the couch.

“LEHEHET ME GOHOHO!!! LIHIHIHIHING!! LETGOLETGOLETGOLETGO-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOT THERE NOT THEHEHEHEHERE!!!” Pleading got him nowhere, his free arm flailing wildly and frantically colliding with Ling’s shoulder as the two poor teens seemed to only make it worse for each other. It was beyond hilarious to witness.

“STAHAHAHAP, I BEHEHEHEG I BEG-PLEHEHEHEHEASE!!!” Ling failed miserably to keep himself together, arching his back away as if that would ever help him escape. She didn’t even have to tease either of them like Colonel or-God forbid-Havoc would have certainly done; her staying silent through this ordeal only seemed to make them beg more.

Edward yelps out curse after curse, with Ling squealing and pleading desperately by his side as she gives them no mercy. And honestly, she would have given them this kind of treatment for an extra twenty minutes or so.

If it weren’t for Edward accidentally grabbing and clawing at Ling’s shoulder blade, that is.

“HOLY-FAHAHAHAHAHAHACK!!!”

Riza and Edward both jolted at the curse that split the air in two, and the former was so surprised that she immediately let up in her assault, causing the two teens to fall right off the couch in a mess.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuhuhuhuck!!” Ling desperately pawed at his shoulder blade, trying to vanquish the tingly sensation as Edward melts into a fit of natural laughter across from him, clutching his stomach.

“Whahahahat the fahahack!? When’d you start cuhuhursing, idiot prince!?” Ling balled in on himself with embarrassment, letting out a high pitched whine that had Edward positively rolling. Riza could do nothing but sigh fondly as Edward’s relentless laughter was teasing enough for the Xingese Prince’s ‘bad manners’.

Well, he kept laughing until the door was pried open, at least.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye! We heard screaming and-”

Everyone in the room paused the moment both Colonel Mustang and Brigadier General Hughes entered the room, an almost awkward kind of silence kicking in.

“...Ah.”

“DON’T YOU ‘AH’ ME, DUMBFUCK!!!” Edward was quick to get defensive, pointing an accusatory finger at the two now smirking men, face redder than the coat he used to wear. Ling lets out an aborted wheeze as the Colonel makes eye contact with Riza.

She can just tell what he’s asking for.

And she, once again, shows no mercy.

“The boys are all yours, Colonel, General.”

It hadn’t even taken five seconds before something crashed in the office, the frightened shriek of the former-Fullmetal Alchemist and the loud ‘HAVE MERCY!!!’ from the Xingese Prince only serving to make her smile more indulgent.

The two men got to work on making the melody of their laughter pound through her very ribs, as Riza herself simply picks up the files and pen she previously abandoned.

She breathes in the positivity like well-made coffee, chuckling to herself as the four, man and boy alike, run and race around the room, the two youngers getting caught and escaping with barely their lives to spare, only to get tackled once again for their sweet, uplifting laughter.

Yes, this was better than their paranoia.

Much, much better.

#Okay #The phrase Ling said was basically #'You look beautiful!!!' #bc #yk #I'm an Edling stan #so it had to happen folks #ANYWAYS #fmab tickles #ler!riza #lee!edward #lee!ling #slightly ler!mustang #slightly ler!hughes #HBWriting #fullmetal alchemist tickling

[waitineedaname]

not the anon but I'd love to hear about the fashion thoughts 👀👀👀

okay these are not particularly unique thoughts, they are definitely shared by and inspired by other people's modern aus lol but I have a basic idea of how characters look in my head. Ed's got that grunge/punk look down and is very big on layers. him and Al standing next to each other is very funny because it's like. a sweet young man in pastel sweaters, and his brother looking like a hot topic threw up on him, covered in leather and chains and studs. his most normal outfit is a flannel. everything else is goth as hell.

ling's fashion is very influenced by that incorrigible hypebeast post lmao that post changed me. he is absolutely a hypebeast. very into streetwear or name brand sportswear because Rich Boy. however he will sometimes mix it up with a crop-top, I think he'd like those. lan fan's fashion is much more functional, she always dresses like she's going to the gym or like she needs to be ready to kick someone's ass at a moment's notice. clothes she can move around in, you know? the mobile game does not understand my girl. she will not be wearing miniskirts.

greed's fashion is entirely influenced by this post, which I totally don't keep in my drafts so I can look at it at a moment's notice, what are you talking about. he's vain, so he dresses to look good. this should not be a surprise. he and ed definitely share a love of leather though, and he likes to accessorize, especially with jewelry, any kind -- rings, bracelets, earrings, necklaces, piercings, whatever. he'll wear it all.

I know they haven't appeared yet, but I think may dresses very preppy, she aims to be as cute as possible at all times, and she succeeds. she and al are kind of matching aesthetically lol they both like looking cute and put together. winry is one of those people that pairs overalls and like. a crop-top. does that make sense? I'm kind of specifically describing my old roommate's aesthetic, which i cannot convey, but just connect with me psychically and understand my vision. she's somewhere between ed and al on the punk/prep spectrum

#asks #clearbun #fma modern au #fma posting #this is the extent of my takes 👍 #I wish I knew more about fashion lol I have to just describe Vibes

[acearohippo]

Really been emotionally driven by Lewis and Bonnie lately.

I don't know how young they were when they became espers, unsure if that one game trailer of Lewis in the boxing ring was his transformation (the dumbass) or if he "turned on" his power out of rage (still a dumbass, I hope his sister called him stupid) but I'm going to just err on the side that most young espers aren't transforming until they're in midteen range, like 14,15,16 years old and up. It's less common, but still occurs often to have espers between the ages of 11-13 but 10-ish and younger, you're rarely seeing the kids survive the transformation.

And I'm just bombarded with these ideas that Lewis and Bonnie are the average kind of kids, so they are living on the streets, without esper powers, up until Lewis gets his break when he's 15 and makes the decision to join the Esper Academy, because if he can get in that would gaurantee his sister shelter. Bonnie, of course, doesn't agree because they've both seen how the Union has "prioritised" neutralising the affects of the Miracles, putting money and time into weapons and other destructive researches, rather than gathering resources and supplies to help the people who without homes, without parents, and are ill. And Lewis agrees that he doesn't fully trust the place, but he's also had to rush back to their hideout to find his sister either missing or in the process of being harassed/kidnapped by known local traffikers, and Lewis himself has had issues with them too and it's gotten to risky and while he'll happily bash the face in of any paedo who dares touch them, he'd prefer it more if they grow up without fearing that they'd wake up, separated, in some strange, pervy adult's room. And that's just him and his sister, the both of them also intervene when other kids are endangered of trafficking, which has placed a big target on the both of them by the underground thugs and contractors who are "losing business".

At least this way, he could learn how to better control his powers and get a better idea of how the Union works on the inside, so he can then return and use his knowledge to help those the Union has forgotten about. At least this way, he won't have to waste precious time trying to create a plan to get him, his sister, and whoever kid they found out of harm's way quicker, without needing to leave anyone behind or wait until the perfect hour to launch a rescue (He still remembers how Bonnie clung to him, shaking and angrily crying, too many bruises and cuts on her malnourished body, her nails ripped and bleeding, shielded from the elements only by a disgusting blanket made even dirtier but the fresh blood from the whimpering, pantless man cowering in the corner. He was almost too late. He was almost too late.) He can go in swinging now, set the whole damn place and whoever gets in his way on fire now. But he lacks control and understanding how to activate his Esper powers, and that could lead to even worse mistakes.

Bonnie hates living in the orphanage. She doesn't trust the adults, can't with how she and Lewis grew up, and would frequently sneak out to find her brother at the academy. He never sent her back or turned her away, but she also wasn't an Esper so she couldn't join in on his classes. Not that any teachers could stop her, and once her brother became friends with Li Ling, there was really nothing anyone could say or do that would keep her from looking out for Lewis. He's a simpleminded man, often too caught up in what was right in front of him to notice the threat surrounding him (she still remembers the way the so called "nice couple" that hired the two of them for easy lawn work leared at her brother, tasking him with jobs that would keep him within their sight, the woman "innocently" groping his arms and stomach as she tuttered that he was too thin and gleefully feeding him pastries to "fatten him up", her husband personally "training" him with "hand's on" exercises and stretches. To this day, Lewis teases her about her immaturity and clinginess to him that eventually made him start choosing jobs they could do together, and she will gladly throw more tantrums and act like a spoiled little girl to keep manipulative people like them away from her brother.)

Of course Bonnie joined the shadow decree after she became an Esper. The Union is bound to fail her brother at some point, and with the freedom of the shadow decree on her side, she'll make sure to provide him a safety net when, inevitably, someone takes advantage of his honesty and loyalty.

#the hippo speaks #dislyte #lewis dislyte #bonnie dislyte #you see what happens dislyte when you don't give us back story and lore on our favourite characters?? #we become sad and make sad backstories for you that's what happens >:C #give me their three month long event dislyte 😭 #is this what people mean by characters taking over their thoughts? #what is that term called? #rot? brain rot? #idk but they got me #i need dislyte to provide me with happy stories of Bonnie and Lewis #pls and thx

[hn-yn-soo]

Wanna Be Yours | C. TY

Fluff

You knew it's gonna be hard capturing the girl's heart, but you pushed on. Despite the thought of having higher chance of getting rejected than actually get together, so you kept giving her letters without hinting your identity but gave her certain signals such as the certain looks you gave, small gestures that indicates your admiration and love towards her and more.

Of course, Tzuyu isn't as stupid as she is. She knew your moves, the motives and everything which she adores the most. She couldn't help but blush everytime you show love and affection for her and all

"Y/nn, mind coming to me as a date on this year's ball??"

"Actually I don't mind, and thanks for asking.. I haven't gotten myself a date as well" You shyly muttered, lightly scratching your nape as you avoid her gaze. She smiles and intertwine her fingers with yours, her eyes looking deeply into your avoiding ones and she couldn't have fallen even deeper than she had.

You came home with Tzuyu walking beside you hand in hand, you two talked about your lives and interests which boosts the taller girl's curiosity and took a mental note for her to do most of them when you're together

*ringggg*(ring a ling)

"Oh? Someone's calling me??"

:Hey, Y/nn, I got your number from Jihyo.. Just wanna ask if you got home safe??

"Uh yeah! How about you?? I was supposed to take you home but you refused, I was worried" You heard a light giggle at the other end, a tint of red coating your cheeks and your feet wavering in the air as you let her finish

:It's fine really, I'm just pretty close by so no need to bring me home.. But if you insist, you can take me then

"Ah, is that so... Is it fine if I ask you out for coffee sometimes???"

:I'd love to, there's a new shop right in front of my house. I'll fetch you someday

And the talk goes on, asking random and nonsense questions which Tzuyu found amusing and funny. You and her got closer as the day passes, and the school has called you the tall visual couple, but then of course you meet rivals

"You brat, she's mine"

"You're a minor, Park Sunghoon"

"You do know I can make her scream more than you?"

"You don't even have the balls to, oh wait.. Do you even have one, Taehyung? Well damn, I might be bigger than your so-called big dick energy"

"She's already fierce to anyone, why would she go soft on you?"

"Oh did she? Ask her yourself then, Mingyu" At the same time, Tzuyu comes to you whining asking for some snacks. You smirked and pushed the jock away, pulling the latter for a kiss on the cheek

"Glad I got you some, do you want more??"

"Yes please~ The modelling class has been tiring for the past hour, do you have spare sneakers?" You nod, taking your bag and pulling out a pair of sneakers for her to wear then placed her heels in your bag. She kisses you near your lips, giggling to yourselves before leaving for your vacant time so the two of you decided to go on the secret garden within the academy

"You know, Tzu.. Ever since we met each other, we've been close like a couple.. W-What are we??"

"I.. I dunno, but there's this person.. Who keeps writing me and giving me gifts at my-"

"It was me, I was the one who gave you those.. I didn't want to make it obvious, but your rivals had been tailing you and I'm afraid they might do something to you that I didn't knew. A-And, this might look like infatuation but no.. I'm willing to learn how to love and take care of you even if we end up in a lot of fights"

"Oh, Y/n.. I.. I dunno what to say" You smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, telling her it's okay for her to decide. This didn't change anything, but you remained the closeness or even escalated the interactions more

:Y/nn, c-come over here please.. T-They're here

"Turn your location on, I'm coming" You dashed from your room and onto the place where you two usually met, the garden

"G-Guys I know we all admire her, but this is too far!"

"Wanna go cry about it, Hoon? Then go fuck off, you pussy"

"Alright, we'll take turns- Ow you shit!" Mingyu turns holding his head, seeing you holding a medium sized rock and a stick. Well, I guess your baseball skills paid off and you got a home run

"Get her!"

And so it begins, well as a black belt you finished them off and called your friends to get them

"How do we handle them, Pres??"

"Make sure to expel them please, I don't want their faces here anymore." Wendy and Jeongyeon bowed before walking off dragging the unconscious boys, as you reached out to Tzuyu who was shivering on the stone bench

"Tzu.."

She tackles you for a bear hug, sobbing against your neck with her arms wrapped tightly around yours. You took off your jacket, put it on her almost torn uniform before going home to your apartment

"Stay here, I'll make you something and get clothes for you to change on"

"Thank you" You gave her a gentle pat and rushed to make a quick ramen and chocolate milk before grabbing a new pair of clothing for the girl

"Hey, I'll let you change here.. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything"

She just nods, you took a while waiting in the kitchen as she dresses up comfortably, you came back to her all snuggled up in the couch with her used dishes neatly placed on the coffee table

After that incident, it's the School Ball. And you had picked her up with your dad's car, waiting for her to come down with her parents

"Take good care of my princess, yeah? You're the only girl we trust among her suitors, we just feel it.. And if you two end up together, we'll give full support"

"I-I couldn't thank you enough, Uncle.. I'll make sure to love your daughter truly and of course, bring her home safe" At the same time she comes down, her dashing royal blue gown with a speck of gold glitters amazed you. She does look perfect in everything, and it made your heart race frantically

"You look.. A-Amazing, we even match outfits!"

"Thanks Y/nn, we'll get going now!!" The two of you left, arriving at the event in time and luckily your friends were there too

"Woahhh, amazing as usual you two!" Sana states happily

"Enjoy the night guys! Let's celebrate!!!!" Jihyo exclaims and pulled you inside the hall, where flashing lights surprised you. You look around to search for Tzuyu as she got separated in the crowd but you could spot a familiar brunette at the middle

"T-Tzuyu!!"

She turns, reaching for your hand and pulled you close, almost stumbling over your shoes. She catches you with a slight giggle, as if time had stopped as you gazed into her brown orbs. She helped you stand, she placed your arms around her waist then her own on your shoulders, soon dancing into the night

"A-About that day, I've thought about it. About.. Us"

"I like you too, I already knew it's you who brought me everything I didn't want to make things awkward so I decided to be lowkey on showing the same gestures too.. I also knew how you threatened my suitors and protected me from them, I thank you for that" She says softly, you shivered at how her fingers grazed through your hair, almost pulling you closer to her

"So, if that's that.. Y-Your parents gave me the blessing to court you, I'm just waiting for your ans-" You felt soft lips pressed onto yours, you felt fireworks going off in your heart, and the grip loosens around the tall girl's waist

"There.. That's my answer, I'll allow you to.. Even if I know you'd succeed, because you had won me over in the first place"

"That was my first kiss.."

"Mine too, wanna make it forever then?" You nod with a huge grin, kissing her once more before spinning her around the dance floor..

The end.

#tzuyu #Twice #Gxg #Kpop

[schrijverr]

The Strange Arrival of Colonel Curtis 4

Chapter 4 out of 5

Ed gets send to do an undercover mission where he is pretending to be Colonel Curtis to catch a terrorist ring. In doing so, he has to be suspicious and get involved with some shady people, which is noticed by his unit.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

Chapter 4: The Dominoes

Ed waits for the ball to start rolling after his conversation with Master Sargent Mike Scherper. He probably gave the poor guy a lot to chew on and a test of character, but there is some equivalence in it, since it’s a test on Ed’s character as well. He has never been good at waiting.

Honestly, if Mustang hadn’t been so displeased with the whole situation as well, Ed would have wondered why the hell he was here. Alas, he understood the bastard’s reasoning and wanted this mission to be a success.

So here he is.

Waiting.

Ugh, what is this mission boring! He can’t even cause mischief around the office, because he has the whole professionalism thing going on.

Plus, the longer he is here, the more he wants to punch Becker in the face. He truly gets what Mustang was on about and it’s not pleasant. He really hopes Scherper finds something during the fake-intell mission he gave him.

But in order for that to happen he has to sit tight until Scherper comes back with anything or he’s approached by the information ring where he can do some digging himself. Until then, he doesn’t want to get unwanted attention on him. He wants criminals to notice him, not the brass.

Until the criminals notice him though, this mission is boring as fuck and to alleviate the boredom sneakily tries to do research instead of paperwork and calls everyone when on an untapped phone line to complain.

Right now he’s making Mustang regret ever giving him this mission. “It’s so boring and stupid and my whole unit hates me,” he whines for what is probably the millionth time. “You owe me big time for this, Colonel Bastard.”

“It’s Lieutenant General Bastard now, actually,” Mustang corrects mildly, not going into anything else Ed had brought up.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, it doesn’t sound the same,” Ed says, before grasping for anything else to say. The two of them have moved firmly into friend territory since the Promised Day, but Ed still struggles to have a normal conversation without insults with Mustang and the Lieutenant General has the same problem.

Right now, he wishes he has some way to keep Mustang on the line. This mission is more lonely than he had anticipated, since any contact with people not connected to his Colonel Curtis persona could hurt the mission and them. So, he is resigned to making phone calls during his lunch hour to add to his dodgy persona or at home in the evenings.

He misses everyone. As much as he takes a lone wolf approach to things, he has never done well on his own. It’s that realization that saved Al’s body and it’s one he hasn’t looked away from since then.

Before now he traveled with Heinkel and Darius, as well as Al for a bit, he went to visit Ling at his court and Mustang’s unit in Central. He stayed with Teacher and Sig and stayed with Granny, Winry and Paninya. It’s been a while since he was by himself.

Ed likely has been quiet for a while, because he is shaken out of his thoughts by Mustang asking: “Are you alright, Fullmetal?”

“Y- yeah,” Ed assures him, stumbling in surprise at the question. “It’s just boring and I don’t do well with waiting.”

“Please refrain from moving up the timetable by taking matters into your own hands,” Mustang sighs. “This is a delicate matter.”

“Blah, blah,” Ed mocks, glad to be able to fall back into their push and pull, thus not having to hang up just yet. “You’re going to buy me such a fancy dinner when I wrap this up and like lunch for a week.”

“Demand after demand,” Mustang complains. “You agreed to this knowing it entailed waiting, I don’t have to do anything.”

“It was a favor, you bastard,” Ed says. Then notes the time, he has to get back to the office and Mustang has to get back to work unless he wants Hawkeye on his case. So, in order to get the last word in, he says: “That means you owe me. Lunch and dinner,” then he hangs up.

In the office things are stiflingly the same. His subordinates greet him with respect, he greets them back, then disappears into his office where he will spend the rest of his day isolated from them. Great.

The mission doesn’t take off until three weeks after he assigned Scherper to get him information on the Lieutenant General of West City.

It starts with a call to his home. He picks up with caution, never knowing who it will be: “This is Colonel Curtis speaking, how may I help you?”

He is greeted by Teacher’s loud laughter that makes Ed unable to understand what she’s saying until a while into the phone call, when she wheezes: “Edmund? They- they na-ha-ha-med you Edmund?”

“It’s not that funny! It’s to prevent suspicion if anyone calls me Ed,” he scowls, before something occurs to him. “How do you know that anyway?”

Teacher luckily gets her laughter under control and says: “Some kid called Mike Scherper called me, asked if I had any relation to one Colonel Edmund Curtis.”

“Huh,” Ed says, apparently Scherper is smarter than he looks, another pro to getting him transferred to intelligence, but also a tally in the maybe a spy column. “And what did you say?”

“Told him I hadn’t heard of you,” Teacher tells him. “But that it’s a common last name and my husband has a big extended family that I’m not entirely familiar with.”

Not a denial or a confirmation. Teacher is smart as hell and Ed appreciates her so much. He thanks her for her quick thinking, then asks after the shop and lets himself sink away into comfortable conversation.

Now that he knows Scherper is on the move – doing more than requested – he keeps his ears more perked than before.

Ed had already hoped Scherper would let Ed’s involvement in something slip and he is pleasantly surprised the Master Sargent is smart enough to dig into him as well. He does check if Mustang has made his presence here air tight enough to last until he’s approached. But if he’s a little shady, that will only help push the right pieces into place. He hates when slimy chess is right and when he has to play it. It’s more Mustang’s game.

He goes to get his coffee in the canteen like every morning, having established the routine to hear what the whispers are that follow him. After that third week, the rumors do shift. They go from talking about his mysterious arrival and drive to him having dangerous ambitions. Good.

After the shift takes place, it takes another few weeks before something new happens. By that time Ed has been in West City for three months already. So, he is very glad when something finally happens.

“Fucking finally,” he can’t help but cheer softly when there is a suspicious slip of paper between his paperwork.

He unfurls the paper to reveal a location and time, along with the words come alone as if Ed was planning to do anything else.

Before he leaves to the mystery meeting, he calls Mustang. Despite the front the man puts up, he worries about Ed going in alone. Ed rolls his eyes: “They want me on their side, they’re not going to do anything. Besides, I can defend myself, even without alchemy, I’ll wear my bracer and take my knives. Don’t worry. I’ll call the second I get home to report again.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Mustang says, denying the obvious.

“Sure, and I’m the Fuhrer,” Ed snorts. “Come on, softie, just tell me if there’s anything new on your side I have to look out for.”

Mustang splutters a bit at the name softie and Ed is pretty sure he hears Hawkeye laugh in the background. Once he has recovered, Mustang informs him they have nothing new, sounding very frustrated. The whole case has been frustrating. Ed has come the closest so far.

The meeting is in an abandoned part of town and Ed has to roll his eyes at the cliché of it all. There have been so many good warehouses ruined due to people like this.

Ed is met by a man dressed in all black, who is loitering in the shadows between two warehouses, obviously trying to go for menacing or ominous. However, after everything Ed has seen, he can’t help but find it a little silly when the man greets: “Decided to dare to show up, Colonel Curtis?”

He doesn’t show his amusement, instead plastering on the cold ambition he’s been practicing in the mirror as he replies: “Your method of invitation was intriguing.”

Mystery Man doesn’t reply to that, instead saying: “Word is you’ve been inquiring into General Becker.”

Hm, General, not Lieutenant General. Either Becker has been promoted or this guy is involved with him and buying into his inflated ego.

“You must admit he’s an easy target,” Ed shrugs with a smirk Mustang would have been proud of. “Though I can’t imagine why you are interested in that, Mr. …” he trails off purposefully, hoping to get a name, or at least a pseudonym.

“Call me Phoenix,” the man says, great, they have weird code names. Those usually are relevant enough. Phoenix continues: “And we really need you to stop going after that easy target.”

Oef, rookie move, Ed almost flinches. Not only has Phoenix revealed he doesn’t work alone, but he has all but confirmed Becker is a part of it. Ed says: “And why would I do this? Seems there is something to find, that something will probably get me my promotion.”

“Probably,” Phoenix points out Ed’s deliberate use of the word. “But we can give you a guarantee.”

Now Ed is intrigued and shows that, using the emotion he feels to show Phoenix what he expects to see. “Oh? How so?” he asks.

“I can’t just kiss and tell, but for now, let’s just say there is a group, who will get you up the ranks, if you share their interest in a common goal,” Phoenix says, annoyingly cryptic.

“What goal?” Ed asks.

Phoenix smirks, Ed can see that, since the bottom of his face is visible. He decides it’s a very punch-able face and tries to commit it to memory, so he might be able to pick it out of the crowd tomorrow at the office.

“The completion of Project Rebirth,” Phoenix tells Ed in another rookie move. It sounds like a code they use among each other and now Ed knows it too.

“And what does Project Rebirth entail?” Ed asks, trying to get as much out of this Phoenix guy as he can, hoping it reads as natural suspicion of a backstabbing bastard instead of an interrogation of a mole.

“Are you interested?” Phoenix counters without giving him more information. Annoying when enemies have an ounce of competence.

Ed considers for a second if Colonel Curtis would agree. Then realizes he doesn’t care, Phoenix thinks he would and Ed has never cared about walking into things that could be traps or at least very dangerous situations. So, he just says: “You’re sure you can get me promoted?”

“Yes,” Phoenix says.

“Then count me in,” Ed smiles, hoping it comes across as cold and calculated as well as a little gleeful.

“Meet us here at the ascribed time,” Phoenix says, handing him another piece of paper. “And call off your sniffling dogs.” Ed nods as he takes the paper and with that they part ways.

He reports everything to Mustang when he gets home as promised. Mustang immediately sets intelligence on the new key words they have, warning Ed again to be careful, because while the one member Ed had encountered isn’t a master at obfuscation, the organization is good.

Scherper is rightfully suspicious when Ed calls him into his office the next day to tell him to stop digging and he’s even more suspicious when Ed then proceeds to buddy up with Lieutenant General Becker. Which is good.

Scherper should be suspicious, the young soldier has good instincts. And with the meeting he’s had yesterday, the likelihood of him being involved has dropped dramatically, so Ed can start planning a talk with Mustang to maybe get him moved to a place where he’d be useful.

Becker has obviously been let in on the fact that Ed will likely be joining their ranks, because he jovially accepts Ed’s new attempt at friendship, where before it had been met with the cold suspicion of an animal that has another encroaching on its territory.

Phoenix is also easily found, apparently the secretary of the Lieutenant General can’t keep as good a facade as Ed can, because he smirks that same smirk as yesterday evening at him when he enters the office.

After that, the whole thing truly takes off.

It honestly goes so fast that Ed would have been caught off guard by the whiplash in action, if he hadn’t had so much experience.

He discovers that Project Rebirth is a Promised Day 2.0 done shittily. Apparently Becker and a few other higher ups had worked under the Generals involved in the set up of the Promised Day, who had been a little loose-lipped. Not enough for the little cult to realize what they were trying to emulate or that their own superiors had tried to sacrifice them, but enough for them to hear things like immortality.

Ed naturally makes himself part of their little club, gagging as he butters up people who think any of this is a good idea.

There are a few, who are more competent and who have ensured that none of this gets out, but apparently Colonel Curtis is a good enough disguise to slip through the cracks unnoticed. Ed silently thanks Mustang and his little spy network and the extra effort they put in to make him solid after he reported Scherper’s call to Teacher.

Furthermore, he has confirmed that none of his unit are involved in this, a relief if he’s honest. Despite his forced distance from them, he has grown fond of the little group and not having to arrest them for treason is nice.

Ed is spending his days cataloging all the members and their goals, so they can have one mass arrest without anyone getting out unscathed. He hasn’t heard anyone confirm hard numbers, so he stays in the background and goes along until he’s sure he has all of them.

Naturally, because it’s Ed, that plan goes to shit approximately two and a half months after joining Project Rebirth when Phoenix in military garb, stumbles into him in the hallways and uses the moment to press a piece of paper in his hand.

In the moment, Ed acts like nothing out of the ordinary happens, chewing the secretary out, though it makes him uncomfortable to be rude like Colonel Curtis would. Then he goes off to find a place where can read the piece of paper in private.

On the toilets, he unfolds the paper, frowning when it’s a lot more text than the usual messages he gets slipped. Then the texts registers and his blood runs cold. It reads:

Attack on The Entrance at 13:00. Target: Reclaim what is hidden. General Becker has been briefed, you fall under his command. Get rid of the military uniform and dress as part of Project Rebirth. Our opening move is about to be played.

There has been chatter about this amongst the lower ranks in the organization, but from what Ed saw, it looked to be far away for now. Seems not. He gets his watch out of his pocket and swears. It is 12:00 now. He only has an hour to organize a good counter offense.

Fuck.

~~

A/N:

I use military time. 1.) because it’s the more logical way to fucking tell time, and 2.) I refuse to believe that a military country such as Amestris wouldn’t run on military time.

#rr writing #edward elric #roy mustang #fmab #fma #fma brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #izumi curtis #colonel curtis au #post promised day #OCs

[freakzterz]

Which pets have piercings?

if were going strictly off them as they are, as animals, then none bc i think its weird to give animals piercings. i dont care if theyre cartoon girlies i dooont like it :P

if were going off thrm as HUMANS, however, then i think a fair few of them would

first off, i think zoe and vinnie would definnitely have the most piercing out of the gang, and are probably the only ones to have anything other than ear piercings

zoes would probably have a fair amount of ear piercings, a few along her helix, a few on her lobes, a tragus, i think she would also have an eyebrow and nostril piercing. maybe even a bellybutton peircing. she would also have like ten thousend of each ring, that she painstakingly matches to each of her outfits

vinnie would absolutely have some plugs, not anything too big, hes too much of a pussy for that, but they wouldnt be too small either. hed have a few lobe and helix piercings too, and an industrial or two aswell. as for non ear pircing, hed probably also have an eyebrow piercing, and im toyinv with the idea of him having a tongue piercing but im not quite sold on that yet

the rest of the pets would only have lobe piercings, exept pepper, i think shed have a helix too. penny ling deffinitely has just some real cutesy earrings, shaped like hearts, unicorns, teddybears, etc. and minka has almost exlusively dangly earings, most of which are just random little trinkets and objects she turned into earrings herself.

russel and sunil are the only ones who wouldnt have any piercings at all, russel bc he just simply isnt interested, and sunil bc shes too much of a pussy </3 just the thought of a tiny needle anywhere near her and hes GONE

okay thats all ^^ thanks for allowing me to ramble about the goobers 👍time to go hibernate for ten million years

#lps 2012 #sucking it up and maintagging this. look at my headcanons boy

[the-firebird69]

You gave him a veiled threat you plan to try and kidnap him by doing all that s*** but you can see everybody around you now and you said you saw it you going to keep doing this public stupid s*** and he says yeah it's part of his motif to degrade society and what I say is our friend's right you retards her out you spend all your time doing this dumb s*** and nobody cares for it and they're getting rid of you pretty soon there won't be any of you and that's what you've done that's pretty much all you've done except you've had the big fellows here after us and yourselves I don't know about you but that was embarrassing you're a stubborn piece of nothing you got your hat handed to you he told me to f*** off. You flipped him off and the manager is watching you on the camera and he's just out of the cameras view so you can get fired you should get fired and all your formats there's too many clones there he recognizes the threat says you're after his wife so he's going to take your ships all of them and I believe him he has power there's no reason why he shouldn't I don't want him to but you're sitting there enticing him every day every few minutes you f****** losers are on the f****** horn making sure he's mad you're out of your f****** minds you're so stupid you drive by as a cop everybody's yelling at you even he's looking at you to have you pulled over that's what we're going to do we're going after you right now. You're so dumb. You started s*** with him okay it's on tape he said I can't move this thing and he's got a hernia because of you and you're just yelling at him screaming at his face and you've done it before when he's trying to get ready to leave and they're looking at that stuff well you said after us I don't give a s*** if I'm right or wrong I founded this place with Sam Walton and every single one of you will be fired if you don't side with me because management still has some people in it it's practically my store no but really you guys are dependent on this place this is this actual institution is your only last bastion and these clones are moving in and these two idiots these trumpsters are horrible too so they looked and they found out it's true they've been beating them up and doing better I'll tell you what though this guy's incensed and he was going to beat that guy to death and it's Tommy f and he's sitting there scammering saying I have two choices which is great he looks weak so people are going after his people they have these huge chips and these weakling engineer builders so they built a lot of the city stuff too I have to tell you I've never seen people so angry at one a****** in my life and he's sitting there inciting him on the inside he's complaining to someone and it's really Tommy F who's bothering him he's standing right there trying to stop him from saying it he said it doesn't work with me have you noticed yeah he's doing it on purpose too except you're losing ring ding ring f****** ding-a-ling yeah people know about it now s*** head so he's almost crying besides to go out and bother him again outside so this is got to be toddler s*** and that's how you're winning the whole thing is probably not true. But he still continuing to do it so we're going after him cuz he's a loser okay his clothes don't like him either they're trying to shut him down in this consortium of idiot is here and it sees retired higher ups who want the AI and they should know that bja is at it 24 hours a day this particular move on the 1st of July Tommy F will be severely weakened and nobody will be positioned in Australia just drop him that's how they end up in the museum so people are moving cuz it's true

Mac

[airadam]

Episode 164 : The Jordan Year

"...baking soda, get it crackin' when you mix me with Kane."

- Checkmark

If you're like me, every time you write 23 this year you're thinking it! The first episode of 2023 is here, and we go mostly on the downtempo tip and mix up the genres in a big way, so there's almost sure to be something new for everyone in the mix!

RIP to Laylaw and Gangsta Boo.

As mentioned on the voiceover, you can now keep up with the schedule for all my streams (and I'll start putting my IRL shows here too) at events.airadam.com!

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Termanology ft. Raekwon : Passport Kingz

I was reminded of this track after listening to a podcast about citizenship and a shady character known as the "Passport King"! It has an ominous-sounding intro (as an aside, that pastor should be in prison), and then doesn't let up for the rest of its running time, with Raekwon and then Term going hard over Staik Selektah's production. One verse each is the perfect dosage. Find this on Termanology's 2018 "Bad Decisions" album.

[Dru Kevorkian] Smif-N-Wessun : Reloaded (Instrumental)

Just screaming mid-2000s New York, this is the instrumental for the title track of Smif-N-Wessun's third LP. I could hear this beat on the soundtrack (and too loud) for a street DVD of the era...

El Michels Affair & Black Thought : Grateful

Looks like there's a big treat coming later in the year, with the collaborative "Glorious Game" due in April. One of the best writers in Hip-Hop history in combination with one of the coldest bands in years? Yeah, that's a must. This lead single was released this month to give us all a taste and it's a great appetiser. The flute kind of hypnotises and draws you into the thick mists of the rest of the music, where Black Thought is waiting with high IQ, high-density street lyricism. Be grateful, indeed.

Shabba Ranks : Have This Woman

Coming off the back of the "Ting-A-Ling" sample woven into the "hook" of the preceding track, I thought I'd take the opportunity to move straight across into a Shabba track, and one that I just recently digitised during the task of taking on my whole reggae and dancehall 7" section! Over the "Girl A Love" riddim, Shabba's lyrics remind me that despite the gyalist/player image put forth in most of his catalogue, he's been happily married since 1992 - so he and his wife will just have celebrated their pearl wedding anniversary!

Camp Lo : Award Winning

They may never have got the level of acclaim that the title speaks of, but those who know know. Bars upon slang-filled bars on this deep album cut from "Ragtime Hightimes", with Ski on production. Play this one loud in your headphones when you need to go somewhere and let them know who you are :)

Above The Law : Another Execution

Including this one as a tribute to the recently-departed Laylaw, who was an integral part of the Above The Law story - not only did he manage them, but he has production credits on their debut "Livin' Like Hustlers", including for this track. It's a slow and low number on a classic sample, and if you want the instrumental then you can find it on the B-side of the "Murder Rap" 12". Unusually for ATL, it's Cold 187um solo on the mic, in storytelling mode with two tales of having to let that thing ring out.

People Under The Stairs : Chris Says 'Nice One' (Bonus Beat)

This short semi-interlude track from the 12" of "The Cat" is actually only 44 seconds long, so I looped part of it up to make it a suitable length to include here - just because it's a nice piece of digging/production that PUTS clearly included just for that extra flavour! RIP Double K.

Gangsta Boo ft. DJ Paul & Juicy J : Where Dem Dollas At?

I've not historically been a big follower of 3-6 Mafia, so I bought this track specifically to play it on this episode. DJ Paul and Juicy J of 3-6 are on production, but even though DJ Paul also takes the third verse, he has to play second position behind Lady Boo, which is only right. This was apparently the big hit on 1998's "Enquiring Minds", Boo's solo debut which paved the way for two more LPs over the next five years - and one which I remember being advertised in The Source back in the day. RIP Gangsta Boo. 

Machinedrum : Center Your Love

Machinedrum is, amongst other things, half of the duo Dream Continuum alongside Bristol's Om Unit (formerly the turntablist 2Tall), but this is a beautiful solo exhibition of electronic composition. The drums are hectic in timing but not loud, and elements come in and out creating a soundscape around the vocal; I can't tell if that's a repeated sample or a singer brought in for this track specifically, and if I'm honest, I can't make out the words either 😆 Ten years old this year, it's taken from the "Vapor City" album which is available on Bandcamp - definitely worth checking! 

Children of Zeus : Cali Dreams

California is a long way from the cold and rain of Manchester in many ways, but as they say, you can dream! I've got at least three copies of the 2021 "Balance" LP (vinyl, digital, and cassette) that this is taken from - so hopefully that gives you a prompt to go and get at least one! As much as Konny says it's "just another weed song", they elevate way past the average with their writing and execution. Their production is great too, and they bring in additional skilled musicians to crystallise their ideas - listen to this track outside of this episode to enjoy the long outro segment. Zeus!

Massive Attack ft. Liz Frazer : Teardrop (Mad Professor Mazaruni Vocal Mix)

Most of you will know the original version of this classic from the "Mezzanine" LP, and I even played the instrumental version of this remix a few years back - but today, you get the brilliant production of Mad Professor with the beautiful vocals of Liz Fraser in perfect combination. While Fraser can sound good on anything, her floating vocals are set really well here into the echoing, dubbed-out production. Apparently Madonna was the original choice of the songwriter to deliver this lead vocal - with all of the respect due to her, I don't know if it would have been as timeless as the final version turned out to be.

[Mr. Rogers?] Trae : Swang (Remix Instrumental)

While uncredited on the 12" single, I think this quality beat might be the work of Houston's Mr. Rogers, who, appropriately for this cut, is something of a car expert! You'll probably recognise the song it's borrowing from for its melodic underpinning, but it sounds to be all replayed/interpolated and so probably dodged the sample clearance issues that the original mix had... 

Torii Wolf : 1st

An entirely new track to me even though it was a 2016 release, I only became aware of it when a DJ played it recently on a DJ Premier raid train on Twitch. Yes, this is a DJ Premier production, giving a sturdy backing to this New York singer/songwriter. Not only that, he apparently did another eight tracks on her 2017 LP "Flow Riiot", so it's one to check out for those wanting to hear some real deep Preemo cuts from the modern era!

The Doppelgangaz : In The Black

With their most recent album coming out just before Xmas last year being titled "Black Cloak Lifestyle" you have to give them credit for committing to that lift for real. Starting with ominous pianos, it's not long before the live-sounding boom-bap drums and bassline come in to augment them, and those rhymes of course from the self-styled "Ghastly Duo". A self-contained unit who handle their own production as well as all the MCing, they're dedicated to their craft.

Soul Supreme ft. Big Daddy Kane, Checkmark, and DJ Revolution : Come Get It

This one had been, unfairly, languising forgotten on my shelves until I digitised it recently. Big Daddy Kane is a legend, and is clearly the headliner here - it takes a brave MC to go after him, but Checkmark (of Skitzofreniks) does just that on top of production from one of Sweden's finest,  Soul Supreme. Seasoning the pot beautifully, DJ Revolution contributes the cuts for this straight-up Hip-Hop gem. It's available on the 12" I'm playing it from, but also on 2003's "The Saturday Nite Agenda". Can't believe it's twenty years old already!

Sonnyjim ft. English and KoSYNE : Barcodes

This made me smile when I pulled the "Soul Trader EP" off the shelf recently, as at one time or another I've either DJed for (in cipher sessions) or produced everyone on the track! This is a fittingly-titled track, with all the MCs spitting out bars with confidence over KoSYNE's rugged beat - and the punchlines are plentiful. While you hear the main part of the track here, there's an extended ending with some ill freestyling... which you can get if you pick up the EP!

Dr. Dre : Murder Ink (Instrumental)

I've got to admit, I'll always prefer the original "The Chronic" to "2001". That said, you can't deny that Dre continued to refine his skills as a producer and engineer over time, and the sound quality of the production on his second solo LP was crisp and flawless - to my ears, at least. This track works a classic horror film sample into the mix with deadly effect.

The Lady of Rage : Necessary Roughness

To end the episode, just a high-quality track from an MC who never got her due. According to a recent interview, she was effectively punished for not jumping into the middle of someone else's beef, which is a great shame. This is the title track from her lone LP, and every bit of the mic control she displayed on "Afro Puffs" is on display here on top of a beat that reminded me of Craig Mack's "Get Down" - turns out they both were produced by the same man, Easy Mo Bee!

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[downforthegas]

POV: Wa//lly Dar//ling comes to you for relief (Cw: Farts, lap farts, slight hyperfarts, slight scat) Note: This is a little self-indulgent 🍎💨🚽🧻

"Neighbor? Are you there?"

You open the door and see him, his little 3 foot figure, now with a belly that strains the buttons on his cardigan.

"I need some help. I think I ate something bad." He pulls his top up to reveal his little yellow pot belly. I long, low gurgle emitted from it.

*Blbrrt!* "Ah!" It seemed like the small fart caught the puppet by surprise. "Could you help me?"

You lead him to your bed and helped him lie down, trying not to jostle his belly too much. You unbuttoned his cardigan, then his button-up shirt. You noticed his rainbow pants were straining against his poor stomach and unzipped them. Wally sighed in delight.

"Thank you, neighbor."

You sat him on your lap, his back to your chest, as you continued to knead into his soft, felt belly. You felt every little bubble shift and move around, moving into his colon before another *Blllbbbrrrrrrttt!* vibrated against your thighs.

"*Sigh* Excuse me." The smell filled your senses. It was a gross garbagy scent that smelled vaguely of apples. It wasn't too stinky, but just stinky enough to know it was a fart. You asked him what he ate to make him to gassy.

"Um..." Wally seemed hesitant to say. "I got into Howdy's apple display when he wasn't there. And I might've over did it. I hope he's not mad that all the apples are gone. Ha. Ha. Ha." You teased him about being greedy and eating so many apples. Wally just blushed.

"I couldn't help myself," Wally said before leaning forward to rip a *Ppppffffrrrrrtttt!* on you. If sounded quiet in the beginning before rumbling softly.

As much as Wally's farts felt great on your lap, you wanted Wally to find a relief a little faster. You picked him up, lied him on your bed, and pushed his knees to his chest. A bubbly *BBBRRBBBRRRRRTTT!* roared loudly against his pants which were tight against his butt in that position. Wa//lly sighed deeply. "Oh that felt amazing. Let's do some more poses."

You picked him up and pressed his tummy against a table in the room, with your crotch against his butt. He pushed out three short *BRRT!* PLRRRT!* *BBBBRRRT!* against you.

You thought it was good to have him do some exercise. You helped him do sit-ups, crouching in front of his feet, so anytime he farted, it would hit your face. And with every sit-up he did, *Brrt!* "Sigh" *Flrrt!* "Sigh" *Toot!* "Sigh" and your smile grew big with each one.

After the sit-ups, you figured he should do something more relaxing. You had him positioned where his head was on the ground and his butt was pointing in the air. As soon as he did this, he felt a ton of pressure bubble into his colon. He pushed and *BPPBRLLBBFLLLFBFBRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!* You don't know how such a loud, ground-shaking fart could come from such a little peanut. "Oh sorry, neighbor." *BLLBBBRRRRLLLBBBBTRRRRR!!!* Another one and your house was really starting to smell. Why were these farts smelling worse than before. "Ha. Ha. Ha. These toots sound a lot like Barnaby's." He pushed once more and *SPPLRRRSHHHRRT!* "Ah." You noticed a visible wet spot on the seat of his pants. He stood up quickly and held his hands over his butt, orange blush covering his whole face.

"Um... could I use your bathroom, neighbor?" You showed him where it was and he went inside to hopefully get rid of all his tummy problems (and maybe clean up). You sat down for a moment and basked in the wonderful, stinky apple smell surrounding your house. You inhaled it from the spot Wally last was when you heard his voice ring out.

"Um, neighbor?" Wally peaked his head out from the door, the flush still covering his face (and no flush from the toilet yet). "I have a big mess to clean up... and there's no toilet paper... do you have any more." You looked around and found a roll of toilet paper, and quickly ran back to the bathroom to your little smelly prince. And made yourself welcome to entering the bathroom to help him clean up. It's the least you could do for getting all that nasty gas out of him. Alternatively, instead of paper, you use an article of your own clothing.

~

This was in the drafts since last year...

#eproctophilia #eprocto #fart kink #gas kink #farting #coprophilia #scat kink #belly pain #belly rubs #belly ache #bloated belly #bloated stomach #gassy guy #gassy belly #gassy farts #playfellowxxx #gassyfellowxxx #for real I would wipe him with my shirt #just so I can smell it whenever i want heheheheh

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Classic Old and Gold 1987 Pop / Pop-Rock / Doo Wop / Rock & Roll / R&B / Garage Rock / Girl Groups

You wouldn't know it from the album cover, but this is something of a retrospective look at a little New York City-based indie label called Laurie Records that thrived throughout the late 50s and 60s. Laurie played host to big acts such as Dion (& the Belmonts) and The Chiffons, and that's all I've ever really known them for until now. But as evidenced by this excellent collection of twenty tunes, Laurie was so much more than just those two acts.

I really wasn't expecting more than a few good, recognizable hits and maybe one or two dust-collecting gems on this CD, but the bulk of these actually turned out to be those dust-collecting gems instead 🤩. Phenomenal blends of pop, doo wop, and R&B abound within this CD, from one-hit wonders like Randy & the Rainbows' "Denise" and Music Explosion's garage rock classic, "A Little Bit of Soul," to no-hit wonders like Carlo Mastrangelo's amazing rock & roll-doo wop thing, “Ring a Ling,” that failed to chart nationally, but that New York DJ Murray the K fawned over. Ernie Maresca, who's known for co-writing Dion's "Runaround Sue" and "The Wanderer" is on here as well with his own great uptempo and booming rock & roll-doo wop bop and top-ten hit, "Shout! Shout! (Knock Yourself Out)."

A lot of great songs in this CD that documents the history of Laurie Records, and a vast majority of which I've never heard before in my life. A lot of these ended up charting in the top-twenty on Billboard's Hot 100 in their day, but they seem to have been long forgotten since then. So don't sleep on 'em, especially if you fancy yourself as a 50s and 60s oldies fiend!

Highlights:

The Mystics - "Hushabye" The Chiffons - "He's So Fine" The Jarmels - "A Little Bit of Soap" The Chiffons - "Sweet Talkin' Guy" Carlo - "Ring a Ling" Randy & the Rainbows - "Denise" Music Explosion - "A Little Bit of Soul" Ernie Maresca - "Shout! Shout! (Knock Yourself Out)" Dean & Jean - "Tra La La La Suzy"

#pop #pop rock #rock #doo wop #rock & roll #rock and roll #r&b #r & b #garage rock #girl groups #oldies #classic rock #classic pop #music #50s #50s music #50's #50's music #60s #60s music #60's #60's music

[rose-edith]

Hello, I'm new to your blog and I would just like to say you're an amazing author! Thank you to sharing your works with us!

Would it be okay for me to request a Legolas x reader? Where the reader is a half-elf and no one notices cuz she keeps her ears hidden, but one night the fellowship are all sat around the fire and she ends up revealing her identity. Legolas is relieved that she's a half-elf as he was hiding his feelings for her because he thought she was human and wouldn't live as long as him...

And yeah... I hope you want to write this, the rest is up to you what happens.

I don't know if this request is too long or anything, if so, sorry.

I hope you have a great day!

Of course! I hope you like it!

Legolas being relieved you’re a half-Elf would include:

•you didn’t mean for it to be a big secret really, it’s just that you’ve faced criticism and prejudice from people when you’ve revealed the mixed ancestry of Elf and Human to them. So you always made a point to hide your pointy ears.

•your skill as an archer, as a hunter and in hand to hand combat have earned you a strong reputation though, so when the Fellowship is formed it is Lord Elrond’s suggestion that you join.

•from the first minute he saw you Legolas felt something special towards you, a pull towards you. But he put it down simply to your beauty, which was in his opinion uncommonly other-worldly or ethereal for someone who appeared human!

•initially the other members are hesitant, but once they’ve all come face to face with the pointy end of your sword and the bare face fury you couldn’t help but show, they agree you’ll be a wonderful addition!

•at first they tried to palm you off with little duties like those that would ordinarily be given to women-folk. But that didn’t last for long.

•you sparred with Boromir as he tried to train the Hobbits, and once you’d taken him down you were an intriguing prospect for the group.

•and then your mettle was tested in the mines…you fought well, keeping the ring bearer and everyone else safe. And when Gandalf fell it was you who kept the others moving to safety even as they wanted to pause and grieve. Legolas stayed at your side and joined in your efforts, it wasn’t until he saw you consoling the Half-lings that he released he’d fallen in love with you! And that terrified him, he was so afraid that he’d lose you. So he didn’t say anything.

•but naturally Aragorn knew. He tried to encourage his friend to tell you, but he was stubborn and his mind remained unchanged.

•and then you arrived in the safety of the realm and hospitality offered to you by the Lady Galadriel. Under her care and guidance she helped you all to relax, and as you were a bit battered by the battle you’d already been through she personally took care of you.

•so that’s how and why you forums yourself in a silky, borrowed gown with your hair braided back in Elven style, exposing your beautiful Elf ears.

•when the Fellowship saw you they were in awe. But no one said a thing, they just watched as you poured them all drinks and bade them to rest.

•Legolas could hardly sit still! He squirmed and fidgeted and felt like he might combust from excitement! You were half-Elf! Finally he let himself feel the pull of magnetic attraction, he let his love for you wash over him like the finest wines from his Father’s cellars.

•when you left to get some more water he was not very discreet in following you, causing quite a few sighs of relief and guffaws from everyone else who had been dealing with a moody Legolas for a while!

•he still didn’t say anything though, he waited until you turned to him in the quiet, secluded clearing, and then he gently, slowly touched your ears. And he saw the way that your eyes were shining, and how you were smiling at him, and your own fingers gently traced his ears that were just as perfect and sensitive as yours…words weren’t needed anymore, your actions spoke louder than words ever could anyway.

•neither of you had ever known true joy like this before, it was exquisite.

#legolas x reader #legolas #legolas imagine #legolas headcanons #legolas greenleaf #lotr imagine #lotr headcanons #lotr x reader #lord of the rings

[osamiiya]

Taking them bra shopping

Characters: Kita Shinsuke, Ojiro Aran, Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu, Suna Rintaro

Warnings: Suggestive, gender neutral pronouns but reader has boobies, like one or two swears.

a/n Why did I write this? idk honestly. Watch my mental state degrade throughout this

Kita Shinsuke

---

Very polite

You think you see him blushing a bit at the more risque lingerie but he isn't

"I think that the other colour complemented your skin tone better."

Dosent try anything funny in the changing rooms, he simply peeks his head through the curtains, makes sure no one else sees. He waits in the hallway :(

Gives his honest thoughts about the style and color

Won't outright ask you to buy any lingerie but he's not going to object.

Pays for it all bless his soul </3

"I think the other one was better. This looks too tight."

You hum and move to put the other one on and Kita makes a sound of approval that accompanies his small smile.

His hands politely hover over the bra to fix it's positioning, waiting for your green light to put his hands on you.

"This one looks the best."

"It's $45 I think." Kita just nods and slips away from the curtain when you mutter something about being done.

He's holding the bras you decide to get in one hand, wallet in the other, and as the items get scanned, he dosent even bat an eye.

At your thanks he just raises an eyebrow.

"You need them don't you?"

Ojiro Aran

Respectful but also down bad

He walks with his eyes cast downward bc his mother raised him to respect women. He can't help that his eyes wander sometimes and then widen at the linge racks.

Aran holds your stuff and lets you wander off, following and giving his opinion when asked for it.

He says everything will look good on you so he's kind of no help

Again waits in the hallway, but if you have multiple to try on he'll just wait in the fitting room with you and comment nice things on how you look that day

"This one or the first one?"

You do a turn for him and he just smiles.

"They're both nice."

Rolling your eyes you run to the mirror, not missing the way Aran's eyes wander on your body.

"I don't want to get both though."

Your hands run over the material, pushing and pulling at it slightly to see which one was more flattering.

"Just get both, I'll pay."

Your smile grows in the mirror as you ask if he's sure, and he is.

So you get both, and wander to the check out, picking up things and asking Aran's thoughts.

Aran however, didn't think that bras would be that expensive, it's a small piece of fabric,the same as a bikini top, why was the price so high?

He swallows his pride and hands his card over with shaky hands, it's nothing he couldn't afford, he was just shocked that two bras easily went over $100.

Miya Atsumu

Don't take him please

Brings you lingerie that he thinks will look nice on you.

Has his own basket of stuff he thinks will look nice on you.

Finds the whole ordeal extremely hot and enjoys watching you send an embarrassed glare when he asks to get sized

Waits in the fitting room with you the entire time, putting on the bras after you and giggling to himself.

Wants to touch. Do not let him touch.

Likes all boobies big and small, very much a boob man and will be caught drooling at you trying on lingerie and push up bras

"You should get this."

There's less that'll be covered than the others, but Atsumu's dead set on how "Fuckin' hot" you'd look in it.

A quick look to the price tag has Atsumu's eyes going wide as saucers, and you can almost see the mental debate he has going on, whether he wants to get the lingerie along with your other under things or get the nice knee pads he's been wanting.

Miya Atsumu sulks when he puts it back, sending it a solemn look as he whispers that it would be a shame to spend that much money for a one night event, knowing how he'd ruin it and rip it off at first opportunity.

Like Aran, he watches you try on different styles and colours and decides they're all nice, really nice.

The price tag however? Not so nice.

He goes on a Twitter rant while you're talking to the store owner.

Miya Osamu

You would think he was a good person to go with

But remember, he's still a Miya

Snorts when the lady has you put on a bra over your clothes to see the cup size

But somehow he's still hyping you up?

Swears in ~awe~ and wolf whistles when you ask for his opinion

He loves going undergarment shopping with you

Likes it when you allow him to pick out lingerie, hands smoothing over your skin and the lace with awe

Genuinely thinks you look prettiest in the bright fitting room lighting, clad in a pair of pants and no top

"Wow."

Osamu can't help that his eyes wander everywhere, and you're right in front of him and God, you're so pretty.

"Look ok?"

Osamu's nodding before he realizes what he's doing.

"Let's buy the whole store, doll."

Unfortunately he dosent have the budget of a professional athlete but he's still got some money that he's more than willing to spend if it makes you feel pretty.

"The whole store?" You cant help but laugh at the firm nod Osamu gives you through the mirror, and Osamu's eyes sparkle.

His eyes however, don't sparkle when the poor teenage girl rings up the items, and Osamu sweats as he hands over his card, promising himself it was for a good cause.

And it was, especially when you show him again at home.

Suna Rintaro

Asks why you can't just use his hands as a bra

Smack his smug grin

Dosent mind going shopping with you or holding your bags

Just goes on his phone until you ask him something

Thinks you're pretty whenever, and dosent get the point of getting a pretty bra when nobody (but him) will see it anyways

Gives good advice on what styles look better than others

Makes sure they're comfortable and that you tell the lady if it isnt

He couldn't care less, will walk around the mall afterwards holding the bag

"Just tell her your size is my hand."

"Rin, please shut up- Hi yes I was looking to get a bra."

Suna wandered around the area, not letting you out of his peripheral vision, texting Atsumu and feeling the different laces and silks.

He's almost scared out of his skin when a worker approaches and asks if he needs anything.

When he wanders back, you're getting sized and Suna's scanning your face for any inckling of uncomfort, and when none if detected his eyes go back to his phone, the Schweiden Adlers going into their second set after taking the first.

"Babe can you come see if this fits properly?"

Suna blinks for a moment, whipping his head around a couple times before spotting your face peeking out from the fitting room curtain.

He sends a sheepish look to the ladies in line and slips behind the curtain with you.

"I think it's good- here." His fingers are cold against your skin as he loosens the straps a little.

"Looks nice, I like the colour." Suna's face is soft and he rests his chin on your shoulder as you admire yourself.

---

Bonus; The colour bra they would pick for you

Kita: Something practical, white or a skin tone

Aran: I feel like he would like something a bit lacy? If you were comfortable with it. That or a basic colour like black.

Atsumu: Red!

Osamu: "Dosent care" but also soft colors

Suna: Like an emerald green? He gives me emerald green vibes

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #kita shinsuke x reader #kita x reader #kita shinsuke #kita shinsuke headcanons #aran x reader #ojiro aran x reader #ojiro aran #ojiro aran headcanons #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu headcanons #miya osamu x reader #osamu miya #osamu x reader #miya osamu headcanons #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x reader #suna x reader #suna headcanons #suna rintaro headcanons #kita imagines #aran imagines #atsumu imagines #osamu imagine #suna imagine

[fosermi]

SEMI BACK FROM THE DEAD PEOPLE

That's right! I'm back! And I bring to you CHAPTER 3 OF GUARDIAN MACAQUE AU

WHY?! Well because I couldn't sleep well and it's 5 am fuck my headache I give you content!! Fair warning: Macaque is a soft monkey especially to kids AND YOU CAN PRY THIS HC FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS ABDJFKCMCM

Some days, Biming would leave to sell the rice cultivated in their field to the neighbouring village. An oddity, Hóu realised. Why sell to another village? He didn't understand… After all, there were other houses in their village. 

"Hóu?" Ai's soft voice called for the demon. Oddly enough, it wasn't her usual tone that came through her call. 

Immediately detecting the shift from her usual beat, the black monkey jumped down from his position on the plum tree that grew in the back garden of the couple's home. The tree upon which the monkey would spend most of his free time on whenever he could. "You called, Mrs. Ai?" 

"Oh! Yes, dear…" her voice dripped with worry - fear even. In her arms a red cloak, outstretched as if allowing him to take it. "Could you please accompany Biming to the town today…?" Her eyes glimmering under the morning sun with worry, begged the black monkey to take on her request. 

Hóu, with an immediate nod, complied as he gently took the cloak from Ai's grasp. Hesitantly, the black monkey built up enough courage to ask the kind lady, her worry affecting his own. 

"Mrs. Ai… is everything alright…?" His hand reached out to Ai’s in an attempt to comfort her as his eyes locked with hers, taking notes of the high level of worry embedded deep within her honey-brown eyes.

Seeing the concern in Hóu's golden eyes, Ai's tense shoulders fell as she let out a shaky breath. "Ling Fa… he warned us that demons moved in close to the rout Biming takes to the other village…" 

Ling Fa… yes…

He was the family's guardian spirit… it was his duty to protect the family, right? Of course he would warn the kind couple.

By late morning, Biming and Hóu had headed out on the road on the small mule-pulled cart with their cargo safely secured. Ling Fa had stayed behind to ensure Ai's safety as he would not have been much help with manual labor. 

Hóu rode on the back of the cart as his mind drifted off to the thoughts of the strange family guardian. They had previously met a couple of times. Ling Fa wasn't a concerning figure, in fact Hóu believed he was incapable of fighting due to his pacifistic tendencies. 

Throughout the journey, Biming and Hóu held up a small lighthearted conversation, a conversation that seemed to have only lasted a couple of minutes was in fact just two hours. 

Soon the duo were at town close to noon, Hóu couldn't believe how lively everything was! Carts and vendors and buyers were everywhere! If he was being honest, Hóu's entire world seemed to start spinning due to the overload of his senses. 

"Welcome to the market, Hóu!" Biming said with a bright smile as he handed Hóu some earplugs. "They might not completely drown out all the new senses but its something at least… if you ever need a breath at all, then tell me and we can go to a more tame part of the town were we can rest for a bit"

Hóu's reply came in the form of a nod. However, even though his senses are over exerting himself, Hóu knew that he had to allow Biming to sell their crops so they could earn the money needed. So, the black monkey decided to sit right behind the cart after putting on the earplugs, mostly hidden from the front view as she observed how Biming bargained and sold his crops. 

Eventually, daylight started diminishing as the sun was starting to head down the horizon, turning the shy a nice shade that reminded the monkey of orange peaches… something about the sunset seems to have upset the demon and he felt a pang of pain in his chest. 

Upon noticing the sadness embedded on the monkey’s face, Biming decided that it was time to head home. "Hóu, let's go home." Came the familiar voice of the young man that got Hóu moving onto the back of the cart, and once again head off back home. "We should be back home just after sunset" Said Biming in an attempt to comfort his companion, which seemed to have worked somewhat. 

The ride back didn't have many complications, it was a smooth ride back with a few conversations every now and again. Once home, Biming and Hóu carried their goods into the home as they announced their return, only to be greeted by the smell of Ai's amazing cooking as they sat down by the table to eat. 

Biming was telling Ai how well Hóu had taken to the city and how well behaved he was. He kept on flattering the black monkey demon which got Hóu to stutter every now and again when he decided to speak up. Soon enough, it was time to head to bed after it was decided that from then on, Hóu would accompany Biming to the market. 

His days spent here in the small farm house by the valley with Ai and Biming went by faster than he expected. And soon, they would have a new addition to their family in the form of a child between the couple. 

The couple at first didn't know how Hóu would react to children, as throughout Ai's pregnancy, he had done his best to avoid her as much as possible without angering her. He however instead spent his time with Biming learning how to trade and sell as well as bargain and buy goods. 

When their daughter was born, the couple found something they never had expected to see. That night they had awoken to the sound of soft cries coming from the adjacent room that Hóu had offered the baby to stay in with him so he could make sure that their daughter was safe from all harm. Surprisingly, Hóu had also swore it as his duty out of the blue one night before she was even born. 

What surprised them however, was what they saw in the room that night. They had found Hóu gently cradling their small daughter in his arms. Biming most of all was surprised at how Hóu could be so delicate with such a small fragile being and yet possess strength strong enough to carry the entire cart filled with supplies. 

Hóu looked over at the couple with worry laced all very his face. "S-sorry… she won't stop crying… she must be hungry!" It surprised Ai how well he knew how to manage a baby and how he could tell what was wrong. She stood there for a moment as she smiled at the panicked monkey before taking her daughter to feed her in the other room, leaving Biming and Hóu together in the room. 

Biming sat down next to Hóu on the bed who seemed a bit anxious. "Is something the matter Hóu?" Came the concerned question from Biming. 

Hóu's tail flicked anxiously like an irritated cat, he lowered his head and talked in barely a whisper "she's just so small Biming… will she really survive?" 

With a comforting hand on Hóu's shoulder, a smile found its way onto Biming's face "with you worrying about her like this… I know she'll be perfectly fine Hóu…" and with that, Ai came back in, carrying their sleeping daughter in her arms. 

Without a second to lose, Hóu was up on his feet to give the bed to the sleeping baby. But instead, Ai gave him the small bundle of joy with a smile. Something within him clicked that night, and for the first time he remembered something from his past. 

A conversation? 

"Hey, [~~~] why so stiff?" 

"Because! They're so small! So defenseless! How can they survive?!" A chuckle rang out throughout what seemed like a cave as the sound echoed. 

"They're children! Of course, they're small! But hey! They seem to like you!" 

"I… I guess they do…" 

"You know… if you're really worried about them so much why not take care of them?" 

"Don't you already do that?" 

"Well, technically, yes? But what I meant was you could watch over the little ones and make sure they're safe?" 

"... alright, I'll do it!" 

Hóu held the small child close to his chest, a stifled sob escaped him as a few tears flowed down his face and onto the blankets that wrapped around the baby. This concerned the couple as they barely see Hóu cry, in fact. This is only the second time they've seen him cry ever since finding him that fateful day. 

Just before they could react, Hóu faced them. Face stained with tears but his eyes held a strong determination. "No matter what, I'll make sure she becomes big and strong. I swear on my life" 

With his sudden declaration, the couple found a sense of peace and comfort. Ever since then, Hóu had appointed himself their daughter's caretaker and would help Ai and Biming with their daughter in whatever way he could. There had been countless times when Ai or Biming would search for their daughter only to find her asleep on Hóu who had her safely asleep on or under his favorite tree in their garden, sometimes asleep himself. 

Such were the peaceful times, the days he wouldn't have to worry about much except for their family's safety. Nothing could happen to them, he used to think. Not until the incident. 

Golden eyes fluttered open as he heard a faint sound of someone calling out to him. "I'm heading off to work dad!! Text you later!!" Followed by a door slamming shut and a soft ringing of a bell. 

With a sigh, the black monkey sat up and combed through his messy black hair before getting up and heading to the bathroom to freshen up. Mi Hóu looked at the mirror and examined himself only to be taken back to see a human face before remembering that his life with Ai, Biming, and their daughter Chu-Hua had ended a couple of hundred years ago. 

He had remembered everything since that time, and his true name is Liu er Mihóu otherwise known as the Six Eared Macaque. And he remembered that at this current time, he has a son. A son that he had to look out for in a world of hidden demons. But here's the catch, he can't let his son know that he himself is a demon even though he already knows about demons. Which is why he uses a human disguise. 

"Another regular day of work I guess…" he mumbled as he heard the ringing of the bell hung at the door indicating that someone had entered their home, or to be more specific, his clinic. Little did he know that this day would be the end of his daily routine of curing demons and teaching at a dojo. 

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid au #monkie kid au #guardian macaque #guardian macaque au #lmk macaque #six eared macaque #monkie kid macaque #listen i live for dad macaque #and now i give you macaque being soft with babies #my writing

[shijiujun]

Okay if y’all have read my top 2020 danmei list from a week or two back, you’ll know this is currently my favourite danmei (outside of Qi Wei Shang + 2ha hahaha), so here’s a proper, full rec!

- Part of Min’s ‘Why You Should Read’ Series -

Summary:

Ji Yan Ran is the Emperor’s brother and wields military power in the novel, and it starts with an object being stolen from the palace. Ji Yan Ran has to retrieve the item secretly, and so enlists the help of Feng Yu Sect’s Sect Master, Yun Yi Feng, who heads the martial arts world’s one and only information trading post. Yun Yi Feng does not deal in business that involves any royalty, but Jing Yan Ran offers him something he cannot refuse - the Blood Red Lingzhi, a rare and mystical herb that is rumoured to be able to treat his life-threatening condition.

Yun Yi Feng was used by his shifu when he was younger to test out all kinds of poisons and cures, and since then, his body flushes dangerously hot and cold frequently, with bouts of severe coughing fits in between. Throughout the first mission where he spends time with Ji Yan Ran searching for the stolen object, he allows Jing Yan Ran to take care of him. Their relationship is pretty flirty and touchy right off the bat, with Ji Yan Ran knowing really clearly that he wants to take care of Yun Yi Feng. When Yun Yi Feng goes anywhere without a coat, JYR always has one ready. He promises all his riches to him, even his mother hahaha (but that’s because he knows he deceived YYF with the Blood Red Lingzhi and is willing to give YYF everything else while also continuing to look for the lingzhi for him). 

Of course, they have to uncover a plot and conspiracy against their enemies who are plotting to dethrone the Emperor, and also reveal the secrets of Yun Yi Feng’s birth.

Read:

Novel (Online) | Novel (Print) - Not Available | Novel Translations | Manhua

Characters:

1. 云倚风 Yun Yi Feng (right) - The revered Sect Master of Feng Yu Sect as his sect controls the flow and movement of information. People from all over buy information or hire the sect to help them get information, and is considered a neutral sect within the wuxia world. Very intelligent, a cool-headed strategist who also loves riches, whose eyes light up at the sight of treasures and money.

He was a child remnant of a war, and picked up by his shifu Gui Ci, who brought him to this island to live with other kids he picked up. His first few years were spent rather happily there, but then one day the man gave all the children bowls of what they thought was soup but ended up being poison because Gui Ci wanted to test out his new concoctions. At the end, only YYF survived after multiple ingestions of poisons and experimental cures. Because he was the ‘strongest’ out of all the other children, Gui Ci began testing out all sorts of poisons and cures on him after. If someone came to him after having been poisoned, Gui Ci would poison YYF in the same way as a test subject to use cures on, and only after they worked on YYF would he use them on the patient. 

His shifu is considered a mad man, and the last straw was when he locked YYF up with several scorpions for a few days and YYF was the closest thing to death at that moment, and afterwards, realizing that he’d gone overboard, Gui Ci is more careful about poisoning him, allowing him to have a slightly more normal childhood, but because of this YYF’s body would flush hot and cold frequently and unbearably. He manages to escape from Gui Ci and sets up Feng Yu Sect.

He only has 5 years left to live if he doesn’t find the Blood Red Lingzhi, when he meets Ji Yan Ran and his request. After meeting JYR he realizes how sweet life is, to have someone who always thinks of him, who cares about his well-being, who wants to make him happy, who buys and gives him everything he wants. In the beginning he is unable to reciprocate knowing he’ll die soon, but they get together anyway after a close call, as JYR tries to find the Lingzhi for him.

He also loves to cook and play the zither, but is so bad at both!! He’s so terrible that every time he approaches the kitchen or the zither the servants themselves try to redirect him subtly and chase him away because they CANNOT stand his dishes or his music hahahaha.

2. 季燕然 Ji Yan Ran (left) - Army commander/general, and a prince. Close to the Emperor, who’s his older brother, and takes a liking to YYF the moment he meets him. He bluffs YYF, says that he has the Blood Red Lingzhi, and then realizing how much YYF needs it, he feels more guilty and guilty for lying to him, and once admitting it, he promises to do whatever it takes to find it for him.  

He’s very smart as well, has eyes only for YYF and is willing to indulge him in every single whim he has. If YYF complains that he doesn’t have anything to wear (even in jest), JYR has the garment stores in the whole city send 10 outfits each for YYF to pick. And even though he hates YYF’s cooking and playing of the zither, he lets him do it anyway, fond but exasperated while everyone is staring daggers at him for not stopping YYF.

A few years ago, a close friend of his and the Emperor’s died, and JYR suspects that their father had something to do with it. It’s something that has been troubling him for many years and it’s a dilemma for him because he has to balance between questioning the Emperor but also trusting him and being a good brother/official to him, as clues keep pointing towards the Emperor and his father being involved in shady deals/decisions. His relationship with the Emperor, his brother, can be described as close, but of course even though they are close and trust each other to a good extent, there is still room for a tiny bit of doubt that both brothers are well aware of due to their positions, not that this affects their relationship.

Openly is affectionate to YYF in front of everyone, including his mother, who likes YYF alot as well. YYF once worried if the Emperor would oppose his relationship with him, but JYR said that their relationship should put the Emperor even more at ease, because the world and other officials would not recognize an Emperor who liked men and didn’t have any children, meaning that JYR becomes an even smaller threat to the throne.

3. 暮成雪 Mu Cheng Xue - An assassin who keeps popping up throughout the novel, and is a frenemy to YYF especially because he stole the cuteass snow leopard that was supposed to be YYF’s and refuses to return it. Not good nor bad, he does whatever he’s paid for.

4. 江凌飞 Jiang Ling Fei - JYR’s godbrother, who didn’t have a good childhood with no one to protect him in the Jiang family, one of the big wuxia families in the novel, as he had no parents and was technically brought up by his scheming uncles/cousins etc. He befriended JYR when they were younger and acknowledged JYR’s mother as his godmother because she was truly and genuinely good to him, and spends a large part of his days running in and out of the Jing manor. He’s JYR’s right hand man, but his dream is to be a bum wandering through different parts of the world, having fun whenever instead of being boggled down by duties to the Jiang family and other things.

Amazing Scenes:

YYF unceremoniously using JYR’s arm as a pillow while he’s talking 

Basically YYF fainting and getting sick a lot and JYR always there to catch him ;-; To dote on him!!! Ahhhh my heart

Other Things I Like in the Novel:

The first time YYF plays the zither in the Jing manor, JYR’s mother, shaking, goes to JYR and asks, “Is Yun-er learning some evil cultivation music?”

YYF tends to go out to the markets and will buy back 2kg of flour for example, while all the servants shudder in the fear and cry in front of JYR, who can only sigh but indulge him

YYF’s favourite things include JYR’s mother taking his blankets out to soak up the sunlight in the day so he has fluffy, warmth-filled and fresh-smelling covers everyday to collapse into

JYR once asked YYF if it’s a good thing that he met him, and YYF says, “Of course it’s a good thing I met wangye, because of you, I now know that life can be sweet and warm too.”

YYF carves out what he thinks the Blood Red Lingzhi looks like based on some bogus description JYR gave him and because he’s so hopeful and happy about finally being able to have the lingzhi, he carves it out and wears it like a pendant, and everytime JYR sees it he wants to slap himself for being such a motherfucking asshole and deceiving this man

YYF keeps forgetting his cape/coat, so JYR always gives him his, but YYF keeps taking and not returning and on the fourth time it happens, YYF looks at JYR expectantly, and JYR says, “You’ve already taken three, this is my last one, I’m gonna freeze to death, left without a cape if I give you this one”

JYR always tempts YYF into doing things by giving him treasures, and jokingly promises YYF his army commander ring, which symbolizes his authority and power, and YYF unceremoniously takes it knowing what it is, and refuses to return it to him - After a few times this happens, JYR makes a replica of it so they matchy matchy ;-;

They travel South in a holiday for a few months after the first arc is wrapped up, knowing that YYF doesn’t have much time left to live, and every single day is painful for JYR as the time YYF spends conscious decreases day by day

YYF asks for some oil/salve to use as lube from the army camp’s physician, a night before JYR is due to go off for war, and the physician scolds the messenger for having the time to think about such thoughts, and when the messenger says it’s for YYF, physician is like “... oh. okay, here you go, give this to him” without another word HAHAHAHA

#a sword of frost #danmei #danmei recs #一剑霜寒 #min's why you should read #cnovel #i'm determined to complete 10 so bear with me yall!!! #hahahahhaa