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persephoneyss · 3 years

Text

Bad Movie.

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x f! Reader. Ft. Jungkook.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, angst, gore a little.

Summary: ❝Looking for the person you love, beautiful woman.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, harassment / stalking, humiliation, forced marriage, non-sexual intercourse, abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use naming, minor past master / pet relationships, secondary character abduction, ugly hallucinating hoseok , beatings, blood, photos depicting abuse, mistreatment and death, bribery, sexism and humiliation (directly aimed at female prostitutes), hoseok mistreats and humiliates jk, awkward marriage proposals, use namjoon as a secondary character because it hurts more:(, etc.

Number of words: 6000+

︙Author's Note: This is my longest fic so far, I think. It took a lot for me to do it, especially since I didn't have a clear idea about the whole plot that would take and the role that each character would develop. So if you see Jungkook in a kind of strange character, blame my mind for including him almost last. Also, I hate Hoseok in this fic. Namjoon angel and fallen soldier, by the way let me know if they cried with his death, it hurt me to write it. Thank you very much for the 200 notes in my previous fic, I'm crying.

Read the Warnings well and enjoy!

(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)

Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.

Confidence, a beautiful and treacherous feeling at times.

Feeling superior is a constant whisper of the ego within you, calling to be released and make others feel as what they really are, despicable and useless trash. It was fun laughing at losers when you haven't had that sense of defeat yet.

Hoseok fervently watched his rivals fall at his feet, laughing at his incompetence and stomping even more pathetic defeated form even though they were already dead in tears of pain. He smiled, he always did when he felt invincible and He bit his lip gently to hold back an excited laugh.

No one could be compared to him, and in his high sense of power he could never be alert when he struck him with a blast of vengeance.

It was you.

His eyes stared at you in horror and anger, his ego inside him hated you from the first moment. Because while despicable, he loved you for much more than his pride and winning sense.

He fell at your feet but he never made you notice it, behaving as he normally would around you even though he was always behind you.

Luck was her greatest ally, he always smiled at her and she helped him. It was fun to play with your opponents pretending to be the victim, the cornered mouse and then smash everyone with a snap of your fingers.

His mother looked at him with love and his father with pride, he was the only and favorite son of the Jung family. His success was never derived from love, much less, it was blasphemy in his family to say something so false and impossible.

Hoseok admired his family when they met in the great message of his parents' house, his grandparents smiled and his relatives brought out their most exquisite stories to entertain. They were all crows pretending to show interest in a prestigious place in the will of the family's monarch, his grandfather.

It was at one of those dinners that he got to meet you, he used to get bored of hearing his cousins tell their anecdotes with prostitute women who mostly called, whores of a night. Mocking their shocked faces when they refused to pay them and threw them out of their big luxurious houses.

He rolled his eyes when a family friend, little Jungkook who was known to his father because of his prestige in his last name, chimed in trying to get into the conversation with a shy smile.

Lucky bastard, he thought bitterly. He didn't like the little idiot sticking his hands in boiling water, he wasn't even supposed to be there.

He hummed a goodbye as he walked out the front doors, walking aimlessly to his bored eyes. His feet stopped abruptly with a strangled sigh when he first saw you, you looked tired as you apparently searched for a key inside your bag. Could visualize the logo on your shirt from the grocery store where he assumed you were employed, He stood looking for what seemed like an eternity at you before you find the keys and rush through the back door. He snorted before lazily continuing on his way, however the next day he ended up following in your footsteps again and with even more confidence.

It took a few weeks for him to be able to enter the small commerce store and be able to look you face to face for the first time, it was expected that you would serve him with a smile asking if he was offered something. But he did not see you anywhere, he looked for you before another equally young woman approached him kindly, he sighed making a face of disgust surprising the she worker, his expensive shoes got dirty on the floors of the humble place with shame. His little investigation and search took him through many corridors of the establishment, he observed the shelves and each person who seemed to be wearing the uniform of the store thinking of finding you distracted with your work, maybe he thought of approaching you and asking for directions which he clearly didn't need. Knowing that she you couldn't refuse because that was your job. In a way, you were there to serve him.

He let out a bored sigh, tired of playing hide and seek, he turned around ready to leave that place that disgusted him so much in a certain way, but once again he stopped in an instant. It was a moan. He clenched his fists, walking hurriedly to the place where the noise came from, he was sure it was your voice and that made him even more angry thinking that he would find you in a compromising position with someone.

He did not think that his lover would be such a stupid and dirty person.

You were crouched on the floor, grimacing with pain and exhaustion. You seemed very annoyed trying to lift a box with your arms, the scene was tender and certainly pathetic, she smiled noticing that you were so distracted that you were never aware of how I was watching you with carnal desire and painfully bad adoration.

"I-can I help you." He was surprised at his little babble, justifying himself later. Nobody ever managed to make him nervous, his father used to despise weak people and certainly he always sought his approval by doing things that were not correct. "They seem heavy."

Your face pale before the scare, turning into a face of shame quickly, you shook your head with a gentle movement, smiling still pained. "I'm fine sir. Can I help you? Maybe he got lost, let me guide-..."

"Actually, I do need help but not with your services." I speak in disagreement, you seemed confused but she nodded at his request. The customer is always right, right? How convenient. "I need you to allow me to help you with that heavy box, not to be rude or calling you weak miss, but you can't seem to handle it."

Lie, under his politically correct excuse was a dialogue about how insufficient you are even with things as easy and common as carrying a box, obviously you needed his help and Hoseok could give you that and more, much more. You just had to say it, it was so simple and fun.

"I -... I can do it, but i will accept your help sir ..." He smiled making an emphasis for he to give him his name, he let out a small laugh finishing his sentence.

“Hoseok, you can call me Hoseok, darling..." He mock imitating his position, your name left your lips like a melody and he immediately felt the sweet taste of it slide down his tongue. Beautifully perfect, indeed. "Now that we can finish the introductions please allow me."

Her expensive outfit crumpled as she bent down to lift the box with ease, you were once again oblivious to her incoherent and certainly crazy fantasies, it was like a romance comedy movie in her eyes. The charming fellow always stays with the girl. And likewise, no one could go against the fictional plot.

He was immersed in the beautiful narrative that you would be hers at the end of the credits.

It was not the last time she saw you, she returned to her same routine of continuing to stalk you with obvious impudence. The only thing that really changed was her new setting and her character, he was hiding between the shelves waiting for the right moment to appear in front of you with a charming smile. Over and over, he was locked in an infinite loop.

He was starting to get tired of just having you in his arms and sheets just in his heavy and lustful dreams.

"A date? How funny Hoseok."

His face twisted in annoyance, but he put on a fake smile again when you looked at him again. "Hobi." He corrected in a high-pitched voice, insisting that you call him that. "And she spoke very seriously my dear, everything is ready."

"Eh ... I -..." A simple wave of her hands was enough to shut you up, you frown in confusion and secretly disgusted.

"On Saturday, I'll send you the address of the restaurant. Goodbye, dear!"

You watch it for a few seconds but he's already gone, you resign yourself to continuing with your work of ordering the products on the shelves. Thinking and trying to remember when you gave him your number. A very characteristic noise distracts you, a call makes you smile with love and adoration.

The plot is taking an interesting turn.

Hoseok was charming by nature, his economic position made him even more desirable to the opposite gender and even his own. It was not strange to see people flirting with him or being suggestive with his proposals, he was on a pedestal and he enjoyed it. His subconscious whispered a little bored. I couldn't deny that he became boring in a way, but you appeared in the story as an extra who soon became a main character. You changed the script of his life already established and narrated.

You were so funny.

He smiled in front of the mirror when he thought of you, since he met you that day he started chatting with you secretly from your supervisor. You had told him several anecdotes to make him laugh, you were also naturally charming pulling out various expressions of adoration that you did not even notice. Oblivious to that, you'd better get ready for the climax of the movie.

The wind was strong in the streets of Seoul, your hair was noticeably messy causing you to let out a tired sigh. You should be planning your wedding banquet right now, but you honestly didn't want to leave Hoseok alone at the dinner he had organized. You put the invitation in your bag, thinking of giving it to her when the time was right with a smile. He seemed like a good person and undoubtedly a good friend in the future.

"You're on time, I was just about to order our food. Honey." The last word slid down his tongue with malice and arrogance, Hoseok inwardly chuckling at your disengaged expression.

"Thanks, but don't stop you can order for both." You say arranging your chair correctly.

The restaurant looked relatively empty, there were only three other people including a couple who ate dinner while chatting enthusiastically.

You smile unconsciously, thinking about what would also make you feel the same way.

"I was looking forward to this dinner, my dear. I also hoped I could tell you how much you have captivated me for a long time, specifically since the first day I saw you." And the others too, he thought shifting your posture.

"Thank you, I'm very flattered to cause that feeling ... in, good in you." You whisper clearly uncomfortable forcing yourself to stay calm. You were sure that you had never given a hint or anything else in Hoseok to establish romantic feelings. "But I-... "

"I know, darling. That is why I have to offer you the opportunity to be my girlfriend and my future wife."

Wife?

For a moment, you feel a rush through your body. You refuse to make a scene in front of all the few people present out of respect, you calm down by counting to ten slowly in your head, but it becomes very difficult for you as you continue to observe his comfortable smile and how he behaves. He seemed very sure of the affirmative respect you would give him, you snort angrily at the thought.

"I am sorry to have been misunderstood Mr. Hoseok, but I am not seeking a relationship with you and very sorry I reject any relationship beyond friendship." Your body lifts up, making Hoseok laugh well in advance of your final sentences. "I am engaged and my future husband is waiting for me, good afternoon."

Trembling, you leave the invitation in silence, leaving the luxurious premises in the same way. The waiters watching you with surprise, being an audience of rejection and humiliation on your part. Hoseok sighs, sipping his wine glass patiently pretending not to hear what the couple behind him are saying.

What a bad luck.

Life wanted to want to return all his damn vanity to him, making fun of him with your almost imminent rejection, obviously he knew that you were engaged and that you loved the poor man who had the bad luck to be his competition, but love is not always the important thing in a relationship or at least not of both parties. The voices of the waiters and the couple distract him from his plans for his next step, he clenches his fists angrily dropping the silverware on the plate calling the attention of everyone in the place.

"Filthy vulgar and talkative people, she will be my wife even if her words have been heard by her prying ears." He raised his voice, causing everyone to shut up. "It's just part of the script."

Maybe if the character who wanted to be the main loses the role of him, he should be the villain. The bad guy in the movie.

He read the invitation with meticulous delicacy, laughing at the little message you put aside. He thought about attending for a second, wondering if it would be nice to walk in to go straight to the altar and shoot your husband willing to take his place by your side. But that would be risky.

"Where are we going, sir?" He asked his driver with a smile.

"Take me to the best brothel in Seoul." He whispered delicately, smiling just as happily as before your rejection. I'd make you pay double the bill for your indulgence.

And likewise, the world is a truly small place. Jungkook nodded clearly uncomfortable obeying someone other than Mr. Jung. Hoseok cornered him like a helpless rabbit in the claws of a cunning fox, flashing his jaw in warning. He felt confused about his little assigned task, watching the direction pointing the right way to his chauffeur who only followed orders.

A small feeling of remorse ran through him, making him want to vomit when he remembered how Hoseok's face was so close to his with arrogance, as his hands roamed his arms gently. He was disgusting how he used his power to such a useless and demanding gain, sometimes without any realism.

"Little Jungkook, you have a very lovely name. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, you were so insignificant that you seemed pathetic to me." He whispered making her wince. "My father told me that you are good at obeying, I would like to test his theory." His cold hands were constantly running down his arms, making a shiver run through his body. "Still remembering well, I already did it before."

Jungkook was weak under his cloak of power, where he could so easily hide it. Lose it. "Yes, h-hyung." An inappropriate moan came from his lips causing him to cover her mouth in shame, a little touch near his crotch was enough to tempt him. Hoseok smirked, narrowing his eyes before walking away slowly wiping his fingers on his expensive clothes in disgust.

"I want you to befriend someone, don't ask, just do it. I'll tell you your next step when you're done." He ordered bored.

"We are here, young Jeon." Notice Jimin with a smile, Jungkook sighed wearily thanking him before getting out of the car ready to fulfill his mission.

I observe him for a few seconds standing in the entrance without doing anything, he was cleaning the windows of the building with force. He seemed like a nice person, certainly a bit humble. He approached making the man bow respectfully, even though he was older. Money can buy everything, they say.

"I am young Jeon, a new investor. May I have a chat with you?"

The man was surprised, no one who was someone by name and a few numbers along with several zeros would be able to notice his presence and at least greet him. A coffee sounded more intimate and undoubtedly inconvenient for him, but again out of respect he accepted the offer with a smile adorning his features.

"My name is Jungkook informally, but I like you and you can call me that." He spoke kindly.

"Namjoon, Mr. Je -... I'm sorry, Jungkook." He corrected sheepishly, making her smile.

He still didn't understand that he planned to do Hoseok with a building cleaner, but he didn't feel in a position worth asking. Furthermore, he would still not receive an honest answer.

He passed by the same place every day, pretending to enter the building only so he could meet Mr. Kim and talk about unimportant subjects. He gained his trust almost immediately, promising that he would give her a better job soon at his own company. He felt like an idiot taking advantage of the man in front of him in such a way for a simple whim from Hoseok.

He was an idiot, but he didn't want to go back to what he was before. A pet.

"I'm very happy, I think she will make a good wife." He responded with encouragement, seeing how Namjoon nodded looking for a picture of his fiancée to show him. He seemed excited, Jungkook understood his happiness after he explained that he saved for a long time to achieve his dream of getting married in a church. They were both in it together, in looking for a future.

He got lost in his thoughts, maybe if he lied to Hoseok about gaining trust from him, saying that Namjoon was a very cold and quiet man, he could make him forget about it. He sighed squeezing the coffee cup in his hands, Namjoon caught his attention by showing a photo of you smiling at the camera with a background of the bridge and the sun behind making a beautiful background.

Jungkook became alert, having seen that face before.

Hoseok had you as the wallpaper on his phone, he knew it was you because of your characteristic features and the scarf you wore in both photos. You were the new fad of a rich fool.

"T-is ... She's so cute, you're very lucky."

Namjoon nodded with a smile, apologizing before returning to his work upon being called by his supervisor. Jungkook put aside his cup feeling the bitter taste of his thoughts, Hoseok was planning something, he knew he was a son of a bitch who liked to keep his plans under lock and key and in a deep grave. He walked away calling for Jimin quickly, before being accosted by Namjoon who came running over, seemingly forgetting something of the utmost importance.

"I apologized Mr. Jeon, but I wanted to give you this personally. It is an invitation, in addition to the proposal to be the best man at our wedding. My fiancee said that it would be appropriate for me to choose someone and I decided that you were perfect, you can decline if you prefer. . " He spoke kindly, as always. Namjoon seemed to have no hatred in his heart, making his own feel heavy on his chest.

Could he bear the blame?

"It's my pleasure to accept her proposal, thank you for considering me. Good afternoon, namjoon-hyung."

He said goodbye by getting into the car as fast as he could, making Jimin look at him with derision. Obviously noticing his nervousness, Jungkook sighed hiding the invitation as much as he could before reading Hoseok's message ordering him to go to his house to sort out his affairs.

It seemed like a joke as he always looked so flawless, ready to humiliate him again.

"Jungkookie, I'm glad to see you again. Now, we'd better come in for our talk." He smiled making anger grow inside him, Hoseok sat on one of his expensive furniture before pouring himself a glass of wine. "Well, I heard from a little bird that you accomplished your task. Good pet."

"Don't call me that, hyung." He grunted in annoyance, making him laugh. "I can't go through with this, I did what you wanted. Leave Namjoon-hyung alone."

"Oh, they're close now really cute. But you forget that I can't fulfill your wish, because "Namjoon-hyung " is an essential piece in my little game." I speak mocking him as always. "Then we will move on to the next step ..." He thinking for a moment, before snapping his fingers. "Invite him to a bachelor party night at the brothel in the center, I already made the reservation. When they are there, leave him alone. A whore will take care of him properly, and maybe you can go make him a oral another yourself." He sneered evilly, reminding her of his past, Jungkook bit his tongue resisting the urge to respond properly. "Since you're clearly good at it, little pet."

"Yes, hyung."

Hoseok nodded saying for him to leave asap, tired of seeing his stupid face. He got up ready to do so, but his arm was taken tightly before bringing his face closer to hers, Hoseok let out a sigh, doing he could smell his breath of mint and wine combined. His hand lowered him into his pockets dangerously close to his crotch, he bit his lower lip to resist a moan escaping him, this had happened before and he begged it to stop forever. From his pocket, she pulled the invitation out, making her gasp in horror.

"Godfather of wedding, new facet of you... kookie." Rolling he eyes pushing him away from him, he fell to the ground before being met by a blow to his cheek. "What a shitty pet, you idiot."

Two days was enough for you to tremble at the thought. Your dress was proud to be seen, it was the most comfortable dress you could find at a fair price. Namjoon tried to enter but he was stopped by your friend who said that he will wait until you keep the dress out of his sight avoiding bad luck. A smile wavered on your face, everything was perfect up to a point.

Namjoon looked at you, a blush covering his cheeks before asking his obvious question. You didn't expect him to want a bachelor party, but you couldn't refuse because you simply trusted him.

Maybe it was your mistake.

You wished him luck, feeling an inexplicable emptiness. Your friends didn't offer to make one for you, they just sat on the couch in their living room talking about movies and arguing about what color the cake would be. It was the calm before the storm.

Jungkook felt a giant headache, the lights of the place were making him dizzy. Jimin had insisted on going with him to such an 'unusual' place to keep him safe. Namjoon had brought a couple of friends who seemed to be always close to him preventing the woman who did the job Hoseok had him do from becoming difficult.

He smiled, thinking that he would have no choice but to let it go. But Hoseok was not a good loser, and neither was he a good winner.

Hoseok:

He distracts his friends, and be careful what you say, kookie.

Received at 11:30 p.m.

He bit his lip, glancing around the bar, thinking he'd find him sitting somewhere spying on everything but nothing looked suspicious. He sighed, sending Jimin out for drinks with one of Namjoon's friends who he gladly accepted. He got up having pushed one away, the other who introduced himself as Jackson seemed more reluctant to leave his friend alone but with a few excuses about feeling bad managed to get him out of sight.

Believed that he would find Namjoon sitting right where he was before but no, he was gone. He felt a burning feeling of guilt, maybe if you didn't find out, nothing would happen.

"You're still the same as before, boss." Jimin sat down next to him, making him uncomfortable.

"Same as before? I am no longer a child."

"But you continue to obey as one. The manipulation they use on you is your greatest weakness, you are afraid, you obey without hesitation thinking about how this will indirectly affect you. But you never do anything to avoid it, you feel bad about this but you still sit here without doing nothing."

"What can I do, Jimin? I don't know if he really left by his will, or if they forced him. I don't want to enter a room in this dirty place and see him sleeping with another woman, because he wanted to and is a fucking infidel . "

Jimin ignored his words, falling silent after several seconds.

Feeling unhappy is a horrible feeling without a doubt. The curious eyes looked at you as if they themselves could judge your story.

Namjoon disappeared as quickly as the wind, many sharp tongues said that he eloped with a lover so as not to marry you. Others believed it was a kidnapping, maybe a robbery gone wrong and he was taken away or he was killed somewhere far away. A sob escaped you just thinking about it, the detective in front of you watched you cautiously.

"We don't know anything about him yet, but we will continue with the investigations."

You nod, without saying a word. Jungkook came in minutes later with a handkerchief in hand, he observed you before gently hugging you. You had the pleasure of meeting him after Namjoon disappeared that night, he introduced himself as a close friend from work and quickly offered to help you with the search.

Maybe he felt guilt.

"Thanks, Jungkook." You smile wiping the tears that escape from your eyes.

"They are looking for the best they can, they even alerted the Japanese embassies in case they might take him there."

"Japan?" Puzzled questions. "Why would someone take him so far? He's just a man with little money, that's ridiculous."

"We don't know, but I promise I won't rest until I find it."

Hoseok sighs bored, witnessing the moment. He had been bribing the bloody police force to hide the information from you about the discovery of your fiancé's corpse floating in the middle of the waters of the river where they used to go together. The only thing that was removed intact from his clothes was a small photo of you smiling, sitting on the banks of the same river.

The police mourned the death, but his faces left grief when they saw the money in his hands. He made fun of Jungkook as usual, who passed by him ignoring him when he went to his house to talk to his father, he knew that the useless little one was very meddlesome in the search for your future husband and ex-fiance. He rolled her eyes remembering how she used to look at him with discontent in meetings, suspicious of him.

He was a good detective, he couldn't deny the obvious.

"You didn't have to do this, a I'm sorry was enough." You say admiring all the bouquets of flowers that came to your house from him. "And I'm sorry for your loss."

He wasn't sorry.

"My dear, losing a loved one is something without a name. I can give you more than this if you promise to smile again, I love your smiles."

Jungkook snorts approaching you from behind, Hoseok to growl at noticing him so close and see how he puts his hand on your shoulder, apparently like support.

"Hyung, he didn't think it's a good time for ... That."

"But little kook, when is not a good time to express how you feel about your loved one?"

"When that person you say you love is crying over the loss of someone special because of evil people who don't know what remorse is. Do you understand that, hyung?"

"No, not really." He laughs cynically making you lose your patience, your little body comes between the two men, with one already furious and the other inadvertently giving up, you make a face of annoyance before speaking.

"Sirs!" You yell at him immediately, Jungkook steps back adjusting his tie. A mania that he had and that you noticed when he presented himself in front of you with regret, he did it when he was uncomfortable or nervous. "This is not the time to argue, I think you'd better leave my house if you're just wasting your time. Thanks for the flowers Hoseok, and Jungkook ... I, I want to continue the investigation on my own."

"That?!"

"What you heard, don't feel responsible for Namj's disappearance -..." You tremble correcting your words, making Hoseok scoff. "My husband, he was just at the wrong time in the wrong place. Thanks for your help, I'll see how to pay you very soon." Jungkook denies trying to insist but fails when you are already closing the door and giving him an apologetic smile.

Your breath feels heavy, you sigh falling to the ground sobbing again. You wanted to find Namjoon, but a large part of you was afraid of how. Dead, with another woman, with serious injuries or simply ... Alive but with trauma for life. You did not want to see him suffer, it was your judgment in life to see the person you love cry in his pain.

You observe yourself, telling yourself that you would be fine when you find it.

Your email seems to explode with thousands of messages received from people claiming to have seen a man like Namjoon near their homes. You ignore them knowing that most of them were false, the first few days you read all of them giving the police false clues that they quickly denied and dismissed.

You dry your tears, closing all the windows and cooking a simple instant soup, eating in absolute silence. It was overwhelming feeling alone at home, where you were supposed to feel safe indoors.

The rain, thunder, and evil outside seemed to be invisible within that place.

A chill runs through you, the control of the television seemed tempting to calm that neat silence and avoid your boredom. You give up turning on the TV, you see the first channel, you keep changing looking for the unknown, you didn't know what you wanted to see. Maybe a newscast saying they found a tall man with dark brown hair and charming eyes unconscious, with a couple of blows to the face and a few scratches but okay, safe, alive and waiting to see your face waiting for him with a warm smile.

Swearing never ever to let go.

A couple of tears slide down your cheek, ruining your fast food. A few knocks on the door manage to scare you, causing you to bite your lip in anger.

"Who is?!" Questions in a shout.

Nothing.

"It better be good ..." You say in muttered, you open the door expecting to see a child running to his house laughing at his childish joke.

But no, there is no one at the door. Just a small envelope that easily slipped underneath, you take it hoping it's a letter from the police announcing good news. Maybe a simple identification of suspicious faces, or footprints at the club.

"I hate being the bad guy, it makes me feel good.

He's dead, I did it for you. For me. For us. I want to make you happy but it's so difficult when I don't know what you want, tell me what you want.

Love you. Love you. Love you.

My heart is so weak in your cold eyes, I feel that you look at me with ignorance of my feelings. Do you want to find it? Do you want to do it?! Okay. Good luck with it. "

It was everything, plus a picture of a golden ring with a large diamond shining brightly. You wrinkle the letter in anger, tossing it into the first bin you found nearby. It seems that in the end, someone did want to joke with you.

Your days remained the same, you went out to work and in the afternoons you called each of the investigators to ask for new news, it was almost always a solid wall, there was nothing really important to report and little by little, they gave up.

Jungkook knocked on the door, he heard some footsteps approaching making him have a little hope. But when the door opened he saw you with a worried face, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest when he tried to get closer but you avoid him by leaving in a hurry. You were dressed in a long black skirt and a white blouse, you were elegantly ready for something.

"Where are you going?" He ask stopping your hurried pace, taking your arm tightly.

"Yo, listen... He... Or her, I don't know who it is but ... You know, he or her know where, he's alive I know. I just don't have time, please."

Your mouth moves wiht fear, you were hiding something but not from him. You were willing to tell him but not now. Not at that time.

"Let me accompany you, I can take you and I will feel better if you are safe."

You nod, letting go of his grip and running down the stairs, outside there is a very elegant car, apparently waiting. The driver smiles at you as if he had known you before, you make an uncomfortable face trying to continue on your way but Jungkook introduces him saying that he works for him.

"Jimin, he's Jimin. He's a good person and a great friend, I've told him about you before."

"I see, sorry." You speak with a bow before climbing to the back, Jimin just smiles kindly, as always.

"Where are we going today?" He asks animatedly, Jungkook takes your hand for support making Jimin remove the smile from him. Your nervous state and your afflicted face are enough for him to understand the situation.

You give him an address, Jimin searches the map being unknown to the place. Your eyes sparkle when the lights of Seoul are reflected in them, Jungkook holds your hand tightly in fear of letting you go again. He felt sick when you stopped calling him, cutting connections with him totally to this day. He spend sleepless nights looking for more clues, the only thing I had until that moment was the identity of the woman, she was a prostitute without anything special, when he spoke with her he seemed indifferent saying that he did not know Namjoon and that the last time he saw him It was when he drugged him and left him in a room as ordered.

The whore made fun of him saying that he would give him this information if he did not tell the police anything, he obviously accepted. Now he repented, the woman disappeared after that and days later she was found in a garbage container. It seemed to be a suicide, the container was from her building, the window of her old apartment faced just where she was supposed to fall if she threw herself without thinking twice.

Right in the garbage.

The wheels of the car made a thud when it stopped, it was a cabin, the only one nearby. You came down quickly thanking Jimin who just made a flirty face. Your hands trembled with the cold, you look at the letter that tells you where and when you should be standing at the door.

"Wait for me here, if we don't go out or you hear noises, you know who to call."

"Yes sir!" Jimin obeys with a laugh at the boss's serious tone of him.

"Y-you should go, I can do this alone." Your voice rises in the echo of the silent place, Jungkook rolls his eyes before offering his arm to you, making his decision clear.

You laugh calming your nerves, the door opens just as you both step close to it. A man stops them, saying that only you can enter the next room. You stop Jungkook who was to protest, you calm him down by leaving your ring in his hands with a smile.

Your body disappears when another man closes the door silently, Jungkook sighs looking annoyed at the guards who ignore him.

A message coming to his phone distracts him for a few seconds.

Jimin:

Should I call the police, Mr. Jung, or the hospital?

Received at 9:35 p.m.

Smile ready to answer before hearing the door open again, he approaching you to ask everything and at the same time nothing. Your pale face is enough to make want to hit the person who was inside with you. Questions remain in the air, your arms surround him while you sob for forgiveness.

From the shadows Hoseok smiles, admiring the document in his hand, your signature shiny as gold is glued to it. He thought it would be more difficult to convince you to accept his marriage proposal, but the precious and expensive ring fit you perfectly. He raised his hand proudly admiring his own, the wedding would be planned as soon as possible making him jump like a happy child.

You had accepted, with the promise that he would bring you back to Namjoon.

But it was never specified in the contract that he would be alive.

The wedding was in a meadow, outdoors with distinguished guests and a few friends and family of yours. Hoseok greeted everyone, by taking your hand tightly introducing you as his wife immediately. It's as if he wants to show everyone that you now belong to him, as if you were a prize.

And maybe if you gave him the key to her success.

"You better smile my dear, nobody wants to know what will happen if you don't." Her lips brushed your hand before placing a chaste kiss on it. "I love you, my beautiful protagonist."

You sob, tears falling from your face as you melt into his disgusting caresses. The man in front of you, your un-predestined husband. The one who stole the position of your true love, he was kissing you delicately.

"Don't cry, decorate the room just the way you wanted. The photos were a special touch ..." His teeth bit into the sensitive skin of your neck, an involuntary groan of pain escaping. "Love you."

Your eyes move desperately to find a photo where the beaten, abused or dead body of Namjoon cannot be seen. You scream when you find one where you see blood everywhere, you are resigned to look down at the ground where Hoseok was crouching kissing the inside of your thighs.

Your mind tried to process the idea that Namjoon had been killed, mutilated and thrown into a river that washed away his body along with happy memories. Farewell to him was prolonged as your body faded in pain.

Hoseok enjoyed the sight of your eyes tightly closed, his cock throbbing inside you as she fucked you like his wife.

The head of the bed moved crashing into the wall, and unconsciously your walls tightened around it causing it to release a curse aloft to the sky.

We got to the end of the movie, smiled as he dazzled the credits by seeing Jungkook's lost name. His little bitch who was his toy for many years, laughed remembering how she did wonders with her mouth.

He pretended not to know him when her father introduced him, taunting her hurt face.

He held you in his arms tightly, you had been struggling to free yourself from his grip as he continued to abuse you over-stimulating your pussy. Your eyes closed falling asleep from crying so much.

He caressed your face, kissing your dry, chapped lips.

The end.

#bts #bts smut #bts yandere #yandere #kpop #yandere bts #yandere bts au #yandere kpop #yandere!bts #hoseok yandere #yandere hoseok #jhope #yandere! jhope #jhope smut #hoseok smut #bts fic #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #yandere hoseok x reader

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

DWD Reviews: Dry Hard or The One and Only Liquidator.. Episode.

Happy Birthday Liquidator! I nearly missed this, I procrastinated a bit too much, but thankfully I got this in time for the anniversary of Dry Hard. Now technically, by airing order LIquidator first showed up in “Just Us Justice Ducks”buuuuuut since that applies for a good chunk of the first appearances there, I choose to go with his first chronological appearance instead. So i’m breifly dipping back into the road to just us justice ducks for one quick review before getting back to life and times and three cabs. Thankfully there’s only one major Disney Birthday next month, and it’s Panchito, so I can fold it into the ride of the Three Caballeros, and hopefully by then i’ll be into the legend of the three cabs itself. But enough insight into my creative process let’s talk about Dry Hard and ole Liquidator himself? I won’t be doing my usual play by play.. partly due to time constraints, as I got to this review far later than intended due to a bungled sleep schedule and another, real world stuff related project I wanted to finally get done. And partly because this episode, while excellent, is pretty simple in it’s plot and being more of a comedy episode, as most Darkwings are honestly, ther’es no real space to dig into a lot of character stuff and most of it would be spent saying “that’s really funny”. And if i’m going to be doing more Darkwing reviews, and try and branch out into more comedy shows period, I’m going to need to try some things once in a while. The plot in short: It’s an incredibly hot day in St. Canard. While Drake is trying and failing to set up his new sprinkler system, he needs a 3/4 picniey flange as everyone keeps telling him, Gosalyin is profeteering and is in full “little shit” mode, offering consturction workers nearbye complimentary oversalted ships to get them to buy her lemonade. To make matters worse Bottled Water around the city is turning up gross, as is the tap water, we get a great bit with some yuppie valley girls over that, and an overly hot Darkwing, I mean he’s always hot but still, finds only two brands haven’t been poisoined. His and launchpad’s faviorite and one ran by Budd Fludd. Given his name and his schister apperance, it shouldn’t shock you Budd is behind things and while posioning his competitors and being confronted by darkwing, and acompanied by his two backup dancer’s/minons, he falls into the water, melts, jesus bud what’d you put in there, and seemingly dies. Naturally Darkwing isn’t that lucky, and instead it’s a super villian origin story as Budd has become the liquidator, and after giving Darkwing a through beatdown and Darkwing narrowly escaping turns all the city’s water hard, just go with it, to blackmail people into paying 5000 dollars for his product. Darkwing persues him, in a swim costume Liquidator chuckles at and compares to his cousin as seen above, and finally using that flange beats him temporarily.. and then for good when Bud shows up at his house, using wet cement to make his new foe into a statue. The reason for my brevity is this episode is the plot’s fairly simple.. but not bad at all. It provides a great origin for liquidator, and a creative foe for Darkwing to fight, one he can’t gas or punch and has to use clever tactics to fight, while Liquidator keeps pulling out new powers to fight back. But all make some logical sense, except for him being able to turn everything into hard water but hten we wouldn’t have a plot so kay, and up the stakes and his solution is both creative and makes sense given Darkwing was doing some work on the house,so the cement was well set up. It’s not bad by any means, in fact i’d call it excellent, it’s just a bit simplier than the last few episodes i’ve talked about and more about getting more gags and action in and given how creative and funnyt his one is I can’t complain. And character wise Drake is just being his usualy stubborn self, insiting he’s “the original mr.fixit’ when tha’ts clearly not true. It’s a simple standard comedy sueprhero setup: there’s a problme in their life, and solving that problem beats the bad guy. I’m mostly familiar with this sort of set up from the early 2000′s as the boom of teen hero shows really loved this trope and it’s generally a good one.

As for Liquidator himself.. he’s utterly fantastic. His pitch man gimmick is great, his minions, two sinigng showgirls who repeat what he says, are never not funny, and he himself has good banter with darkwing and intresting powers. It’s a shame this is his only solo apperance as the guy had a LOT of potential and most of the crew’s arguments... just kind of fall flat. 1) He’s too Powerful Then just scale him down like you ended up doing. The show has a wonky timeline and two diffrnet negaducks, it’s okay if a character comes back with less powers so you can use htem more. Just being able to shape himself and blast water is enough. You can remove his hydrokenisis with other water that isn’t part of him (though he could always gain the abliity to add more to him to keep it intresting), ablility to transmute water, ablility to boil himself, and abliity to turn into tiny gremlins when split up. No one would’ve carred for a good few decades and I would’ve understood. 2) His gimmick of talking like he’s out of a commerical is limited Not really. HIs debut had times where he talked normal and advertising has a long history. It’s TRICKY to write for but the payoff is a really funny runner. 3) Coming up with ways to defeat him This one’s a bit more understandable but as creative’s that’s your job, and there’s tons of ways to beat a water based foe, as spider-man can attest.

MY point with all that is, there’s a lot of ways around the issue set up here, and it’s a real waste of one of darkwing’s best foes. Especially since his origin is intresting, he has unique minions, and a REALLY cool apperance. That might of also been part of it: The liquidator is animated, to use a pun, very fluidily you can see his water bubbling when he stands sometimes and the animation is REALLY beautiuful and well done. So that easily could’ve been part of it: unlike the other villians he’s also harder to animate so they just went iwth theo nes they already had who were easier to deal with. It’s really a sad, wasted opprotunity and the character deserved better. So yeah overall, a fun, slight episode, with a great villian who again, deserved way better and could’ve been written around more. But if you have D+ check out Dry Hard. It’s a classic and if you haven’t checked out Darkwing it’s an excellent episode to gage wether you’ll like the series or not. Coming up we finally take a look at one of my faviorite Disney shows, House of Mouse, then dive back into scrooge’s life stoyr. Until then you can comission reviews for five bucks via a direct message on here or my discord, which is avaliable via my askbox. Until then, there’s always another rainbow.

#darkwing duck #drake mallard #liquidator #gosalyn mallard #launchpad mcquack #dry hard #reviews

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calamariimpossible · 3 years

Text

Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.

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rayshippouuchiha · 5 years

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I came out of Endgame with tears in my eyes and my heart filled up to the brim with absolute seething rage.

Even as I write this now my hands shake with some sick mixture of sadness, rage, and bitter disappointment.

So I preface this by saying that I am emotionally compromised and some of my views might shift with time and distance.

But, for better or for worse, this is my first rage flushed take:

I am so disappointed and so angry that after all of the tension, all of the build, all of the time and sweat and tears, all of the loyalty, we were rewarded with this.

Endgame had its high points, I’m not saying that it didn’t. There were some genuinely funny moments and some heart rending ones as well.

Every single second Tony Stark was on screen was flawless as always. Robert Downey Jr. once again proved why he and he alone was suited for the role of Tony Stark and the task of carrying the majority of the MCU for the past 10+ years.

That’s not to say that the rest of the cast wasn’t good. All of the actors all obviously brought their A game and then some when they were allowed to by what I loosely call a script.

So yeah, there were some highs.

But when its comes to Endgame’s low points?

Its low points were subterranean.

They lowered the bar and then they dug underneath it.

Again I’m writing this basically fresh from the theater and with my emotions still high so do forgive me if this is a bit jumbled around or if I ramble a bit as I cover some of the real issues I had with the film.

So, first thing to address was the overall tone of the film.

For this to be the much glorified Endgame, the “battle of our lives”, there was, in my opinion, a distinct lack of true tension in this film. Instead of a fraught, nail biting, tension filled ride, Endgame is more of a ... brisk jog through some vaguely sticky situations.

Instead of playing the story straight and giving the situation the gravity it deserved, the narrative went out of its way to put humor that served no other purpose than to ruin what tension had been previously built. And, in my opinion, the tone of the film suffered for it.

The humor and jokes were humorous, I’m not saying they wasn’t. I genuinely laughed out loud in the moment. But I also feel that, with the majority of the comedy that was wedged into the narrative, the film suffered for it.

Now let’s move on a bit to the actual plot of the film. Again, forgive me if I bounce a bit:

Jeremy Renner was breathtakingly heartbreaking as Clint Barton. Renner was finally allowed to stretch his legs a bit in this film and he proved that, had he been given the chance, he would have given us a Clint Barton to take our breath away.

Watching with Clint as his family died helped to set what should have been the tone for the majority of the film from there on while reminding us of just what was lost and just what was at stake all at the same time.

Chris Evans brought heart to his portrayal of a Steve Rogers who seems both lighter and more weighted down in this film than ever before.

Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha finally showed more emotion than “head tilt”, “lip purse”, and “arched brow” and it was beautiful.

The brief flash of friendship and affection between Nebula and Tony was perfect and heartwarming as well. Nebula was magnificent as the “feral space cat desperately in need of softness and a friendly hand” when placed side by side with a slowly withering Tony Stark who is, even at his lowest moments, still kind to this alien cyborg he doesn’t know but to who he owes his life. They flowed together with an onscreen chemistry in their few moments side by side that felt organic and aching.

Together Tony and Nebula embodied a truly important life/plot point of “meet kindness with kindness and kindness will be your reward”.

Moving forward in time hearing Tony vent his anger and his pain and his distrust at Steve was cathartic in a lot of ways.

As was watching Tony rip the arc reactor from his chest and slap it into Steve’s hand.

In this moment Tony is handing Steve his metaphorical broken heart and leaving someone else to, for once, try and pick up the pieces.

But then, unfortunately, things go rather steeply down hill from there.

With Tony out for the count in a hospital bed the others hunt down and execute Thanos with basically a hand wave and all hope for the stones is lost.

Until deus ex rat-ina unleashes Scott Lang from the quantum realm and the logic of the film takes a sharp left turn.

Scott Lang was missing for 5 years.

To him it was 5 hours.

To which I say, why did Janet van Dyne, age during her stay in the quantum realm? If, according to the MCU canon, every year in our world was roughly only an hour for Scott Lang, then why didn’t Janet come out of the quantum realm only 30 hours older instead of 30 years?

I feel like the answer is probably “because” but yeah maybe I’m just fuzzy on my Ant Man so if I’m wrong then just ignore that bit please.

Also, just a side note, I adore how it’s been 5 years, Wakanda is very much an ally and still up and running, and yet Rhodey still don’t have working legs. But alas, racism.

Moving on.

So with the main villain dead and Tony Stark having solved time travel in his living room, because I stan legends only, we’re now subjected, and that is the very word I’d use to describe what happens next, to what is called a Time Heist.

Cute.

Also Bruce Banner and Hulk have now merged Steven Universe style despite Hulk being scared green-less 5 years ago. But that’s all good, Bruce smoked a ton of weed, they meditated, went on a cleanse or whatever.

Either way Bruce finally did that character development that everyone had been shouting at him since Avengers 2012 and accepted Hulk as part of him and they’re now Dr. Hulk which was … something that happened?

A thing that they chose to do. The direction in which they set their narrative wheels and then powered full steam ahead and plowed us right over in the process.

But yeah, Time Heist! That’s the way to go, the only way apparently.

Because going back in time to stop the Snappening isn’t an option due to reasons that are explained and still look and feel paper thin but probably just honestly boils down to “Russos”

Our intrepid heroes will now split up and surf through time Bill and Ted style to collect the Stones from different points in history.

Yay.

So the rest of the film is basically that, a big old jewel hunt through space and history where the Russos attempt to fool us into thinking their plot points are cohesive and cool by donkey punching us repeatedly in our nostalgia-sacks.

We’re treated to, in no particular order, such hits as:

“Ah 2012 and the invasion of New York only not as interesting but Tony Stark is very much an ass man, but then we been done known that.”

“The Ancient One and her still very distracting skull vein coming at you right now”

“LOKI YOU LITTLE SHIT”

“The one time I envied Scott Lang because, for a split second, he got to be inside Tony Stark”

“Let’s watch Tony Stark simultaneous take a Hulk to the face and have a small cardiac event all at the same time but from different angles”

And let us not forget

“Tee Hee Hee us white bois just had to find a way to make sure Captain America say “Hail HYDRA” but it was for “spy reasons” so weren’t we clever???????”

Yeah boys, great job.

So edgy.

(Although as a side note I do agree, Steve Roger’s ass really is America’s ass and I’d like to thank him for that. Personally.)

But then, of course, Endgame would not have been complete without:

“Steve Rogers stares longingly and creepily at Peggy Carter from behind a window, further backing up his one defining character trait in the MCU which is the inability to move on. Also she doesn’t look up at all despite being a trained spy and all around badass who probably should have noticed the 6 foot slab of American Beef staring at her from less than a foot away, dark room or no dark room.”

And then my personal favorite:

“Tony Stark sees Howard Stark, the father he described as “calculating, cold, he never told me he was proud of me, never even told me he loved me” but it’s all good cause Tony’s a dad now so looking back all he sees are the good times with his emotionally neglectful and abusive father who says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his unborn kid and now they awkwardly hug while I try not to scream “FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND HOWARD AND NO THAT ONE 3 MINUTE VIDEO DOESN’T COUNT YOU SHIT” at the screen and explode in pure rage.”

Joy.

Truly a scene that was necessary and fit the narrative of Howard Stark’s personality and was needed for Tony to uh get closure or grow as a man and a father or something …

It totally wasn’t yet another excuse to give a canonically abusive father screen time in a way that seems genial and sweet in an attempt to give them a bit of redemption that they neither earned nor deserve.

But yeah, whatever, moving on.

Also Rhodey remains an absolute gem and he and Nebula get shit done.

Only oops, not so fast.

Because apparently the only one who is going to run into the whole “two of you can’t exist in one place at one time without consequences” rule is Nebula who, despite her bitchin orange stripe/badge of character development, managed to like synch up with her past self?

Because she didn’t turn her bluetooth/quantum entanglement function off I guess.

Either way Orange Stripe Nebula, O’Snebula as I call her, has accidentally air dropped all her files into OG Nebula’s mental iPhone.

So yeah now big old Past Grimace knows what’s up.

Ooops??

So shit goes down and then Past Grimace is like “you need to Trogan horse this shit, least favorite daughter” so OG Nebula does because “daddy issues”.

Dr. Hulk puts on the gauntlet and Kentucky fires his arm bringing all the people lost in the Snappening back to life now, 5 years after they got dusted.

Which is … honestly a recipe for disaster in so many ways. What about the people, like the guy in Steve’s support group, who have started to move on?

What about the people who have remarried, have built new lives?

All of that’s ruined now.

It’s fantastic all those people are alive again but jobs, housing, food, healthcare, government, all of it is back in massive disarray across the universe.

And bringing those people back does nothing to bring back the people who didn’t die in the Snappening but died from causality instead. All the deaths caused by suicides, by car/bus/train/plane/ship/etc crashes, by a lack of first responders, by the civil/world/interplanetary wars that probably raged across the universe due to entire governments disappearing?

All of those people are still dead.

The Snappening killed half of all life in the universe. Causality probably killed another good ¼ after that.

And Dr. Hulk’s Un-Snappening saves none of them.

This isn’t a true solution, it’s a shitty band-aid.

But yeah, Russos so….

Moving on.

Yadda Yadda Yadda, plot plot plot. OG Nebula goes undercover, Past Grimace ends up in the future, there’s some fighting (which was admittedly BAD ASS), shit happens, and Tony saves the day like we all knew he would.

YAY!

Despite the massive rambling up above I’m not gonna plot out the entire movie right here though a lot will probably get covered coming up because here’s where I get down and start talking about the various character arcs too.

Because what a wild fucking ride those were.

Okay to take it from the top Scott Lang’s arc was fine. Beyond my questions about the quantum realm his was clear cut and fine although I do wonder at his luck at being, apparently, the only Scott Lang in San Fran to go missing. Well either that or he was staring at some other Scott Lang’s name instead of his own and in that case “awkward”.

Bruce’s arc was … look I could have done without all of the cringy Dr. Hulk stuff that they played up for laughs. If they were gonna brush Hulk being terrified under the rug they could have found a better way to do it besides just erasing the duality between Hulk and Banner with a hand wave.

But yeah, Russos.

Carol Danvers was beautiful and magnificent and completely brushed aside. Yes she was out in the universe handling shit, yes I know they did that so they could focus on the core Avengers, etc etc etc.

But it’s a damn shame that Carol Danvers, and her glorious haircut, was reduced to being the sorely needed and totally badass cavalry and last minute ace in the hole when she should have, logically, been a part of the vanguard. Honestly I have thoughts on why Carol’s entire character should have been saved completely for the next phase of the MCU instead of introduced so late in this one but I digress.

O’Snebula was a perfect shining bionic light and I love her.

Gamora is now alive in the future but at what cost? Not that her life isn’t worth something on its own, it totally is and she deserved the loophole resurrection 10000%.

Shit’s gonna be awkward though cause she doesn’t love Quill, she doesn’t love the Guardians, doesn’t really know O’Snebula or the universe she’s been thrown into. She doesn’t have the memories or the experiences or the character growth and even if she does go back to her family she’ll never be the same person.

Now her and Quill’s relationship, if they ever have one again, will be reduced down to Quill going “you fell in love with me once you could do it again despite us no longer having the shared experiences that bonded us together”. Same can be said for the rest of the Guardians as well.

Guess we all know what the plot of GotG 3 is gonna be about.

And that brings us to the story lines that really and truly upset me.

Which is basically all the rest of them.

Natasha/Clint’s combined story-line, Thor’s everything, Steve’s … Steve, and then finally Tony.

Now the Natasha/Clint story-line started out promising.

Clint’s rage and pain was obvious, his heartbreak poignant. His decision to use all of those to cut a bloody swathe through the criminal underworld was both Dramatic(™) and understandable.

Natasha’s love and grief for him, her desperate attempts to hold onto what she has left by throwing herself into her new job, was a perfect demonstration that Natasha Romanoff is very much not a robot. She was exhausted, frayed at the edges, and she had tears in her eyes, over Clint. And then she pulled herself together, slipped her mask back on, and pushed her way forward. This was all excellent.

It was also a nice narrative callback/parallel to have Natasha be the one to go out and bring Clint in from the cold.

Natasha plays touch stone, plays stability, for Clint and for many of the others. For the first time Natasha is truly portrayed as a person all the way down to the core instead of some witty quips in a catsuit. Plus her eyebrows finally came back from the war and her hair looked good again. So there was that.

Clint and Natasha’s arc comes to a climax on Vormir as they search for the Soul Stone and Red Skull, the Nazi cockroach that he is, gives them the same spiel he gave Thanos.

To get the Soul Stone you must give up the life of the one you love the most. A soul for a soul.

Narrative wise this is consistent, we all knew this would happen as soon as they started searching for the Stones again. It was obvious.

It was also obvious that Clint was the perfect sacrifice.

He’s got nothing left, his family is dead, he’s already lost the people he loves the most, he’s spent five years being a borderline monster.

And he is also, without a doubt, the thing that Natasha loves the most.

Clint was ready and willing to go, ready to die for the blood on his hands, ready to sacrifice himself for the chance that his family would be saved.

Ready to lay down on the wire and let Natasha walk over him for the sake of everything.

Clint dying made sense, was narratively sound, and heartbreaking.

All of which are only a few of the reasons why Natasha’s death was such a goddamn betrayal.

Instead of following along with the narratively sound death of Clint Barton, an Avenger that’s been ignored for most of the films as is, the Russo brothers instead chose to fridge Natasha.

Clint dying would have been the perfect mirror to Gamora’s death.

Gamora was a daughter unwillingly sacrificed by her father to destroy half of all life in the universe.

Clint would have been a father willingly sacrificed by a friend to save half of all life in the universe, his own sons and daughter included.

But no, we didn’t get that, instead we got a gratuitous scene of Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, splayed angel like and bloody on the rocks below.

Instead they fridged the Black Widow, the only woman of the original Big Six, because they couldn’t bring themselves to fridge a man.

So Clint gets the Soul Stone.

Such a fitting end for the Black Widow right? Dying in a man’s place, mourned on screen by a circle of men, but ultimately set aside rather quickly.

I understand why Natasha wanted to be the one to go, I understand that she didn’t want Clint’s family to lose their husband/father and that her true family was the Avengers. I get that. It doesn’t mean I enjoy or agree with the decision they made any more.

It doesn’t make me any less tired of watching female characters die for the sake of men and their families.

Natasha Romanoff sacrificed herself for the universe and her family and that deserves respect even if I absolutely hate it as a narrative choice.

Oh and what about the absolute NERVE of the Russos to have that awesome Lady Power Battle Strut happen but only after they killed Natasha, one of the Big Six?

Bitter? Me? Nooo.

Now, moving on to Thor.

Thor.

Oh my actual God, Thor.

The levels of disrespect Thor, Chris Hemsworth, and the fans were shown with this character arc/story-line in Endgame is breathtaking.

The absolute, shameless disrespect.

They turned Thor into a cowardly, drunken slob who has spent the last 5 years ignoring his responsibilities to what’s left of his people and instead has spent his time drinking, sulking, and literally yelling at kids over PSN??

Endgame’s Thor has the bullshit reasoning that he needs to stop trying to be who he thinks he should be and instead be who he is.

Which flies completely in the face of literally all of his character development from Thor all the way to Thor 3 and then Infinity War.

The entirety of Thor 3 was Thor’s hero’s journey culminating in him finally being the king he was always meant to be. Finally maturing and stepping forward to lead his people.

I am supposed to believe that Thor, depressed and guilty or not for not killing Thanos when he had the chance the first time, just abandoned his people like that?

I’m supposed to believe that Thor would piss all over everything the majority of his family and friends died for?

I’m supposed to believe that Heimdall, Loki, countless soldiers, and The Warrior’s Three and Lady Sif (I guess), all died to protect Asgard, died for the people and for Thor, and Thor just what? Turns his back on all of that to become a drunk?

No, Thor wouldn’t do that. Thor should have been down there beside Valkyrie working those fishing vessels when Bruce and Rocket came calling. If Thor had any hesitance to join them it should have been, “I can’t abandon my people, I am needed here.” He should have been fiercely guarding the tiny fraction of Asgard that’s left.

Thor’s depression and guilt was valid. Don’t mistake me on that. But they played it for jokes. They made him a caricature of depression, made him “gross” and incompetent and the butt of the jokes, and in the process diminished what should have been a painful and poignant arc for Thor.

Instead we got Big Lebowski Thor, bathrobe included, who does stand up and fight yes but, in the end, gives up his crown and just fucks off to space to have petty pissing competitions with Peter Quill so he can?? find himself?? despite finding himself in Ragnarok already???

Thor’s entire arc in Endgame was shallow, mishandled, and disrespectful to the character, to Chris Hemsworth, and to the fans.

You, we, he, all deserved better than this.

Now we get to Steve.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.

I’ve had a lot of salt about Steve’s character and actions in the MCU but, all of that aside, he deserved so much more than what the Russo’s did to him in Endgame.

Hell he’s deserved so much more than what’s been done to him since post-CA:TFA.

But this is about Endgame specifically soooo….

Steve’s shown leading a support group in the beginning of Endgame, is shown talking about moving on and moving forward and learning to let go. Which is wonderful. It sounds like the exact character development we’ve all been waiting for for Steve.

Which is, of course, the exact moment when Steve goes “nah just kidding, we don’t ever move on”.

Which, given the circumstances, is pretty fair. If Steve was only thinking/talking about Thanos and the events of Infinity War.

But of course he wasn’t.

CA:CW should have been the end of the Peggy Carter saga for Steve. He mourned her, he was finally moving forward, he’d kissed Sharon, he threw everything away to save Bucky, he gave up his shield, etc etc.

But no. Endgame finds him right back there, clutching that goddamn compass, and making moon eyes at a woman who we all thought went on and lived a life without him, got married, had kids, and generally existed outside of Steve Rogers.

But no. The Russo’s had to take that away from us too.

And yes yes I know I know multiverse or whatever but still.

Steve steamrolls his way through Endgame with skill and determination. He picks up Thor’s hammer, finally worthy, which how??? Why??? (perhaps because he’s no longer keeping secrets??? Or maybe that’s just my salt talking? Who knows? Not me?)

And then he fights Thanos head to head.

(Although him wielding the hammer brought up an entire separate set of issues cause I’m pretty sure Mjolnir doesn’t actually summon lightning. Ragnarok pretty much said that the lightning has always been within Thor. Mjolnir was just a control accessory. But, you know, Russos *jazzhands*)

And then, in the end, he insists on returning the Stones on his own.

Only he doesn’t come back like he was supposed to.

Instead we’re given old Steve Rogers.

Because Steve returned the Stones and then ….went and found Peggy Carter and got married and lived an entire life with her ignoring everything he would have known was going to happen to her and around the both of them or something???

Or maybe not if the multiverse thing holds up but then who knows any more???

But then how did Old Steve end up right there by that lake on that day at that right time if he’s technically from a different multiverse???

Either way Sam gets his shield and the mantle of Captain America, which was fantastic, and Bucky more than likely knew Steve’s plan all along but the best read I really got on him was basically “eh” so he might well have been happy for Steve too.

But still, instead of finally achieving peace and continuing to learn to live in the future with Bucky and Sam and the remnants of the Avengers, his family and the life he’s built there over the past years, instead of putting the shield down because he’s learned to let go in the now, Steve only puts the shield down because he chooses the past.

He chooses the past over all of that and all of the people left who love him. Sure the argument could be said that he knew they’d be alright but still.

There is a deep well of dissatisfaction inside of me as to how Steve’s entire ending arc was handled. Why did peace only come to Steve after Tony and Natasha were both dead and then was only found in the past?

No disrespect to Peggy Carter, I adore her, but were the relationships he had in the future worth so little that the past was the only place he could find happiness? A past with a woman that he knows loved him but still moved on and found happiness outside of him, lived a full and happy life without him?

Steve didn’t get a character arc so much as he got a character circle. A character loop. He went right back to where he started.

Endgame erases all of the character development Steve underwent post-Avengers. Just brushes it all under the rug.

The Russo’s stole the character development Steve Rogers spent a decade undergoing to give him their version of a happy ending.

They robbed him and us both of every bit of growth and forward motion Steve has underwent and I will never forgive them for that.

And now we get to Tony Stark.

Anthony Edward Stark.

The Iron Man.

Tony’s arc is, was, the longest and best developed arc in the entirety of the MCU.

It’s spanned 10+ years and has been nurtured and hand fed by Robert Downey Jr.

If Endgame got one thing right, one thing at all, it’s how they handled the majority of Tony’s arc.

From him laying the smack down on Steve once he was home, finally venting his emotions and his anger, all the way to him solving time travel before tucking his kid into bed, and then building an Infinity Gauntlet on his own even though Thanos committed genocide to get the one he had.

Tony Stark’s arc was glorious and expected and sad.

I think that my one almost complaint is that Tony stopped for 5 years. On one hand he deserved the rest, deserved the chance to find happiness. He was hurt and tired and he’d faced his demons and been left bleeding out with the death of half the universe weighing on his shoulders.

He deserved to just stop for a while.

On the other hand stopping is not something Tony has ever been good at, just like Pepper said. A part of me thought Tony would be working, frantically, to find something, anything, to turn back the hands of time. To track Thanos down. To get the Stones and then to get everything else back.

To get Peter and all of the others back.

But that’s not the route they went and I’m … okay? I guess, with that.

Tony was validated and vindicated and everyone would have finally listened to him. It only took the death of half of the universe to do it. But he was too tired, too hurt and untrusting to keep pushing. I can respect that.

But of course once an idea worms its way inside Tony can’t let it go. So he solves time travel on the fly and sets out to save the world.

Again.

His one stipulation is that he will do anything, everything, he has to in order to keep what he has now. His wife Pepper and Morgan, his sweet little daughter.

So of course he doesn’t get to do that either.

After all of the blood, sweat, suffering, and mental illnesses, Tony doesn’t get his happy ending. Not really.

He gets to rest, yes, but he loses out on everything he wanted to do with his kid. In the process of saving the universe he becomes the one thing he never wanted to be for Morgan, a distant father.

A face on a screen, stories, memories other people have.

No matter how many holograms or inventions or whatever Tony left to Morgan, it’ll never replace him.

Morgan got 5 years with her father. She’ll spend the rest of her life hearing stories about him, about how much of a hero he was. And hopefully, with Pepper and all the others behind her, Tony will remain a hero to her and will not, instead, become her version of Captain America. An untouchable symbol that Morgan will never live up to.

So, in the end, Tony sacrifices once again.

Watches the future he wanted crumble to dust in his fingers, lightning scorching him from the inside out as infinity rips him apart.

And he dies there, surrounded by some of the people who love him best.

His best friend.

His wife.

The son he almost had.

And, despite all of that, it is very very fitting that his death was at his own hands.

Thanos could take out half the universe, he could traverse time and space, he could humble Thor, terrorize the Hulk, rip Steve Roger’s up, survive shield and hammer and so much more, but the one thing he couldn’t do?

He couldn’t kill Tony Stark.

The only thing that could kill Iron Man, could kill Tony Stark, was his own heart.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones in hand knowing how this is going to end, knowing that Stephen Strange set him on this path years ago.

Because didn’t Strange warn him? Didn’t Strange tell him outright “I’ll let the kid and you both die to protect the Time Stone”?

Tony just never expected it to take a few hours and then 5 more years for Strange’s promise to finally be fulfilled.

So Tony does it knowing that after everything he’s been through, all of the pain and the suffering and the battles, it was only enough to have earned 5 years of happiness, 5 years of his dream.

5 years of being the father he always swore he’d be.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones and dies for the entire universe, for his family, for his daughter. Dies knowing that he’ll be doing the one thing he didn’t want to do, swore he would never do.

Leaving them behind.

Tony Stark brings us full circle as he stands as both equal and mirror of Thanos once again.

Man to Titan. Good Father to Bad Father. Life to Death.

Tony Stark picks up the weight of the universe and then he dies making sure that it has a future free from the same fear that has haunted him for a decade.

A warm light for all mankind, sent to sleep, to rest, knowing that finally everything will be okay.

And all he had to do was die for it.

So, I’ll close this out saying this:

This was written in one solid push after my first viewing and Endgame was dissatisfying for me as you might have guessed. I am disappointed and angry at so much they chose to do to end out this iconic decade of cinema and to close out these character’s arcs.

There were a lot of points and little details I didn’t get to cover in this and perhaps a lot of points you might not agree with me on.

That’s okay.

Because, no matter what, there is one thing I know for sure.

We, I, will always have Tony Stark and the lessons he taught me. The pain he endured and shared with all of us. The bravery and strength he inspired in so many of us as we watched him struggle with physical and mental illnesses on screen. As we watched him obsess and stress and love and grow.

I have never loved a character more than I love Tony Stark.

I have never been impacted by a character as much as I have been by Tony Stark.

I’m not sure if I ever will again.

So, Tony Stark is Iron Man.

He always will be.

And he saved more than just some fictional universe.

He saved a lot of us along the way too.

And we’ll always love him for that.

#MCU wank #Avengers Endgame #avengers 4 #Avengers #Endgame #A:4

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ginaippy2 · 5 years

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The Overwhelming Feeling of Wanting to Quit

Lately I've been hearing a lot of "What am I doing? I should quit. I'm not good at this," type stuff from my comedy friends. I totally get it, since right now, nothing is really staffing, or shooting, or being bought, so it's a slow time for creative types. Whenever I teach, I tell people the following advice.

It may seem overwhelming, being around so many talented people who all want to act, or write, or show run, or some combo of those things. It might seem hard to stand out. But eliminate all the assholes who may be super talented, but no one wants to work with or help out. We all know them - the ones who go from sketch team to sketch team and butt heads with everyone. The ones whose names get brought up and people go, "Ugh I hate that guy."

Next, eliminate the people not willing to take notes, or advice, or change, or grow. The ones who get feedback on a pilot or a sketch, but think they know better, and never take it. The ones who've been doing the same thing, the same sketches, the same show, for years, and never get outside that box.

Then, eliminate the lazy or stunted ones. They're the ones you meet with, give career advice to, and two years later, meet with them again to find they've done nothing you suggested. The ones who do anything but work on their pilot, or their audition, or their reel. Maybe they're afraid to do it, because they're worried if they really try, then they'll really fail. Maybe they "keep meaning to get around to it,” but never do. They're the ones who may be talented, but never work quite hard enough for it to pay off.

Then, eliminate the ones who will crap out in a year, or in five years. The ones who don't hang around long enough to really give it a chance. The ones who think they should have "made it" after just three or four years in a community and a new city and a new theater, despite the fact that that rarely ever happens. The ones who move away or switch careers or take some job that's only peripherally related to what they wanted to do in the first place and say, "At least I'm KIND of doing what I wanted."

Then eliminate the self sabotagers (which, I'd argue, most of the things above are some form of). In comedy, there are a LOT of these. The ones who sort of aren't taking care of the mental stuff they need to take care of in order to get out of their own way.

Boil it down to the talented, friendly, works harder than most people around them, been doing this for seven years, always working towards their goal, always improving, not self sabotaging or being their own worst enemy, and what percentage of the comedy community are you left with? 20%? 15? It seems much, much less overwhelming when you hear that number. It seems much more doable. And I'd also argue that everyone who has done that, has, in a reasonable amount of time (again, 6-8 years, which, in any high end profession, is pretty reasonable), has had some sort of career milestone. I don't say "made it," because that's an arbitrary term meaning nothing (you can have a hit movie or get staffed on a show and then not work for a year, or get cast on SNL and then not work for a year). I'm talking got their first big writing job, or got cast in their first big national commercial, or got a fellowship, or won a pilot competition. This year, I've noticed a bunch of people and thought, "Oooh okay she's about to get something good. I just know it." A year from now, I bet I'm right, because I've seen it before. "Hmm why isn't that person working? They're doing everything they need to be," usually turns into me congratulating them on their FB wall a year later when they get some huge accomplishment.

Keep at it and take care of whatever junk you need to take care of in your life and don't despair. Like I said in a post a week or so ago, I started UCB in 2007 and didn't quit all my "side hustle jobs" until 2015, and during that time, I definitely thought, "Crap am I not good at this? These people don't think I'm funny, or they think I got on this team because I'm a woman!" But I never truly despaired or worried about not having anything to show for myself. I had a backup job (still do) but never legitimately thought about quitting comedy to go do it, and never thought about moving to another state where I'd have the same brain/issues/personality/talent level because I wasn't getting what I wanted in LA. Remember, 20% of a community is a small number, especially when it's an already small community. To the people already doing all these things, keep at it. It will almost certainly pay off at some point. Also, if this post upsets anyone (I sincerely hope it doesn't, since that wasn't the intention), take a second to figure out why, and do an honest assessment of whether you fall into any of the "what not to do" categories above. If you do, work hard to get out of it. It doesn't mean you'll never get hired. It's just going to make it that much harder until you address whatever is going on with you.

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galadrieljones · 6 years

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Writing question time! I remember you said at one point that you use Abelas as a foil for Solas. Can you elaborate on that? What does a 'foil' mean, technically? How do you go about developing a character to fill that role? And, expanding further, how do you develop characters to be complementary to each other? Is there certain steps you think of, or does it come naturally? I am thinking of Revesan and Rasha, and also of Mythal and Lea? (and personally, I need a friend for Iwyn in modern AUs)

Hey! Yay thank you for the writing question. I am all about this!

A foil is basically a character that is, in some way, complimentary to the protagonist, or just to any other main character in a story. They can be dramatic opposites in many ways, or they can be very alike but just dissimilar in really key ways. The point is that the foil’s traits, in some way, highlight certain important traits in the character they’re foiling. I actually just looked it up on Wikipedia to learn the etymology of the word, and it seems to come from an old-fashioned method of placing foil behind gems inside of jewelry, to make them shine more brightly.

In terms of inventing and developing strong, interesting complimentary characters, here’s one way to boil it down:

You realize that a main character needs to change, or their character needs to be developed in some way You might not even know how they need these things, but you just know they need them. Change and development don’t have to be dramatic. This can just be about deepening character development in some way.

So you introduce a new character (or you reintroduce an old character) as a way of propagating that change/development in some way, as a foil. Usually they come bearing a veiled choice of some sort, or a question, or an opportunity, though not always. They could merely be a consequence of circumstance.

BUT, and this is the really important part: you MUST give the foil character their own life and characterization, independent of the main character. They must be given traits and development of their own, even if it is minor. They must not exist solely for the development of the main character. They cannot be made JUST for the story. They must be a character of their own–one that can also be “foiled.”

The easy mistake to make: The problem with a lot of foil characters is that, too often, they don’t seem to exist for any other reason than to compliment the main character. This sort of thing can be found in a lot of romantic comedies, ie: the “best friend” character. The best friend usually exists only as a sounding board, to offer encouragement and resources to the leading lady, and to be a quirky, off-beat comparison who never exists in competition. She is not a true foil, though she’s acting like one in the story. But she has no actual characterization of her own (beyond the most surface-level traits). So she’s not really a character at all. She’s just like, a symbol. She’s just furniture. Very comfy furniture for the leading lady to sit on whenever times get rough.

How I write complimentary characters: I am usually, to some extent, aware of how characters foil each other when I write them. Especially in the beginning. I develop the relationship between the two characters using scenes in which they talk and cooperate, sometimes in which they argue, depending on their dynamic and/or where we are in the plot of the story. I am usually pretty conscious of what kinds of characterization I need to develop with each scene, as well as what kinds of plot or actions I need to address, and so I choose the situation for each scene pretty carefully, and I try to vary my scenes as much as possible, and also to choose off, unexpected situations for my scenes, as a way of exploring characterization in new, challenging ways. So like, not every scene can be a conversation over a meal, or driving in a car. There has to be something else. I also pay close attention to the dialogue between foil characters, to make sure that they’re not just talking back and forth, answering each other one-to-one, but that they speak in accordance with their own individual agendas and interests.

Sometimes, I also develop my characters and their relationships by having them do something very mundane together, something that’s off-topic, occupying themselves, but together. Being alone together, and letting their actions communicate their individual characteristics, and how those characteristics are complimentary to one another. Sometimes, you can have a third character there as a sort of anchor. This kind of scene, I’ve found, is especially useful when writing romantic relationships–making sure that complimentary characters exist independently, without constant verbal interaction, and developing their complimentary traits via action, and also separately, not always in conversation with one another. Even if characters are talking to each other, they can be doing separate things. This is a really good way to make sure that foils (and secondary characters in general) are not just like, sounding boards there to serve the main character.

Basically, at some point, foils must be more than foils in order to be interesting. They must be real. They must have backstories and lives, wants and desires and fears, even if those things are only implied in small ways. I think that’s the hardest part, and the part to be most aware of when writing ALL characters, ie: to NOT just think of them as foils, but as simply characters. Most characters are complimentary to the protagonist, and to each other, in SOME way.

Abelas and Solas

Abelas is a foil for Solas because he is a lot like Solas, but he is drastically different from Solas in very important ways that call attention to Solas’s vulnerabilities. Both Solas and Abelas were recruited by Mythal when they were teenagers. They are huge ancient elves with a lot of power, and they have tragic backstories involving the deaths of one or more immediate family members. They were ranked #1 and #2 in Mythal’s armies during the Great War of Elvhenan, and in The Dead Season, they are both, at some point in the story, attracted to Sene. One could also argue that Sene is attracted to them both at some point as well. They both abuse substances to cope with their problems, and they both have a lot of trauma that they’re trying to overcome.

But Abelas is simpler than Solas. At some point, Mythal describes him as a “uncomplicated.” She says that “he is not like Solas” because “he sees things for what they are, and he goes right to them. He is practical.” Abelas is hyper-literal, where Solas hyper-analytical. Abelas knows how to let go of control. He understands that happiness is a state of mind, and that all he must do is reach that state of mind, and then, he can be happy. Solas is highly controlling. He overanalyzes every last step he must take on his journey toward happiness, and he must do this because it allows him to feel in control. So when Abelas and Solas meet in Crestwood, and Abelas begins interrogating Solas on what is going on with this Dalish girl, he is literally just asking. He just wants to know. But Solas is overanalyzing the entire situation, and he’s reading all sorts of things into Abelas’s questions. He distrusts Abelas, becomes defensive, gets angry, then realizes he has lost, and gives up. These are vulnerable moments for Solas. It was hard for me to write Solas’s vulnerabilities at first, because he’s so confident in his exterior, and so charming and intelligent, and so strong. But when seated across from Abelas, who is exactly like him in almost every way, except for in this one key way–his ability to just see and deal with things for what they are, WITHOUT over-complicating–he turns to mush in like half a scene. It felt great to write it lol.

Revasan and Rasha

With Revasan and Rasha–they are foils for one another, because Rasha is HIGHLY docile where Revasan is HIGHLY willful. Also, Rasha is incredibly patient where Rev is incredibly impatient. With her, however, he is suddenly both calm and patient. She brings out the best in him, or at least the quiet. Meanwhile, Revasan is a challenge for Rasha. She is a little too submissive at times, too indecisive, too unsure of herself. But Rev is assertive and confident, and he believes in her, and she wants to meet his hopes and appreciation for her hidden strengths, because she loves him, so with him, she is stronger.

Lea and Mythal

Lea and Mythal are also good foils. They are very similar in many ways. Both were born into extraordinary wealth and bred to be the heads of their houses. But where Mythal took up her mantle, forgoing love and a normal life for status and power, Lea escaped, giving up her and status and power for love. Meanwhile, Lea is funny and lighthearted and playful, where Mythal is serious and dour and easily offended. Lea is practical where Mythal is highly impractical, and extremely high maintenance. Lea makes Mythal laugh and provides her with perspective on her petty dramas, while Mythal allows Lea to feel needed (a compulsion just like her son’s), and her seriousness reminds Lea that all they have experienced is real, and that she cannot hide forever behind her humor and her charm. Mythal is a reminder of Lea’s particular darkness as well–maybe more so to the reader. Lea is an evanuris, and while she may have been hidden away in the attic before, she lives now, full power in a world that, if they knew everything, would fear her. Meanwhile, for Mythal, Lea is a reminder that life is full of second chances–something that Mythal desperately needs to believe if she is to go on. They are foils.

Random foil-y scenes from The Dead Season that come to mind:

Solas and Abelas (first meeting in Crestwood) - Abelas is foiling Solas

Sene, Solas, and Kieran (peeling potatoes at Suledin Keep) - Kieran is foiling them both

Sene and Solas (right before closing the rift in Crestwood) - Solas is foiling Sene

Solas and Dorian (at the tavern in Sahrnia) - Solas is foiling Dorian

Solas and Daniel (outside the Hanged Man in Kirkwall) - Daniel is foiling Solas

Solas and Deshanna (at the Lavellan farm in Ansburg) - Deshanna is foiling Solas

Solas and Revasan (at the Lavellan farm in Ansburg) - Revasan is foiling the literal shit out of Solas

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gallifreyanlibertea · 7 years

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Hi ^^ i have a usuk request where arthur and alfred are boyfriends but for some reason alfred never go to arthur home, and that reason is because arthur dont want for his 3 protective older brothers, but his mother find arthur has a boyfriend and tell everybody, and she wants that arthur invite to him for a dinner family for to meet him (the rest i leave to you :D ) sorry for my bad english

Sorry!! I found this very hard to write for some reason? I’m not sure why, so I opted for an easy way out bc ily and I wanted to write this for you, so I hope this was something like you imagined it to be!

I’m also trying out a new style so sorry if it seems like a big chunk of MESS.

Of course, the one he had broken happened to be Allistair Kirkland’s favorite mug.

He remembered it like it was yesterday, the phrase being limited to just that, a phrase, because it happened only half an hour ago. Being surrounded by the harpies that were Arthur’s brothers; three, that with their position seated in a specific order, had a comical coincidence of each of their heads having hair redder than the one that sat to the left of them.

Allistair, hair bright red; Patrick, hair almost orangey; William, strawberry blond.

That, of course, was as far as the comedy had gone that evening because Alfred Jones was positively shaking.

Shaking because damn him for assuming he wouldn’t be nervous to meet his boyfriend’s family! His boyfriend’s family! For the first time! It was something he had begged and pleaded Arthur to let him do, only to receive in response something along the lines of- “You wouldn’t want to, love!”

He should’ve listened- along with the fact that he was quite destructive when he felt out of place, as he was sure to feel in a room full of people with funny accents and funnier manners that mirrored the ones in his boyfriend he found so charmingly different.

They weren’t so charming then. Thick, menacingly dark brows. That boiling aura of passive-aggressiveness. Alfred had been nervous to approach Arthur the first time they had met, fingers twitching, dropping anything and everything in his hands- which had then included the books he needed for fourth period- letting the most atrocious things tumble out of his lips.

“Arthur Kirkland, was it? I buy a lot of Kirkland brand products!”

And now he’d done it again. He’d fucked up, he’d dropped things, said things, and now, as he stood on the porch of Arthur’s doorstep, gazing down at his boyfriend who seemed to be avoiding eye contact, he knew today was the day Arthur Kirkland would finally break up with him.

Needless to say, he’d been expecting it for some time.

“Arthur, babe-?”

Arthur glanced up with an expression all too familiar. One that he would put on when he pretended things were okay, to keep Alfred from having to comfort him. “Sorry, you were saying something?”

“I’m sorry to leave you getting back to fixing that whole mess up.”

“It’s alright.”

Alfred leaned in for a quick peck onto those slightly frowning lips. It was kissing a brick wall, reaching out to the embrace of a ghost, to put it dramatically. To put it simply, Arthur was mad. He had to be, with the way Alfred had handled that night.

He was never meant to meet the Kirklands. He’d never really thought about it before. Although Arthur was, at this point in their month-long relationship, a gem to Alfred and his parents, Arthur made no move to include Alfred in his family.

And Alfred didn’t mind. There could be a million reasons for it, perhaps they weren’t as accepting of Arthur’s sexuality? Perhaps Arthur wasn’t allowed to date? Whatever it was, Alfred had been fine with it. He had let Arthur change the topic every time family came up between them, as long as it kept Arthur happy.

Yet one stupid post later- one stupid picture of the two of them, with Alfred pressing a kiss onto a scowling Arthur’s cheek, posted onto a social media app, and the next day, Arthur had been positively livid.

Because- “My mum’s friend’s friend’s friend’s son saw it, and now she knows, and now she wants to meet you, Alfred! Doomed! Oh god, we’re doomed!”

Alfred took a hesitant step down from Arthur’s porch, turning to let Arthur’s name fall from his lips at the same moment Arthur had decided to call for him, hand outstretched.

“Alfred-”

“Yes?” Was Alfred’s almost immediate response.

“I’m sorry about tonight.” Arthur crossed his arms and stepped down to Alfred’s level. “But I can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Arthur had warned him. Repeatedly. “Alfred, my family is atrocious, you do not want to meet them!” But if Alfred was anything, he was a family guy, and Arthur knew that.

Which is why he’d let Alfred come over for dinner in the first place, along with the fact that Mrs. Kirkland had apparently made a fuss about inviting him.

“Would you like some casserole?” She’d said to him, only two hours ago, the first dish she’d brought to the table. A sweet woman. “Oh! Oh dear, you aren’t vegetarian, are you? It completely escaped my mind to ask, oh, I’m so dreadfully sorry, dear-”

“No, it’s fine, Mrs. Kirkland, I eat meat.” Alfred had replied with a beaming smile. He’d then turned to Arthur with a fond sigh. This isn’t so bad.

Arthur had looked mildly in pain.

Of course, it wasn’t so bad. It hadn’t been until Mrs. Kirkland had parted her lips, tilting her head up to call for her boys, three of which had skittered down the stairs, green eyes burning holes into the new shirt Alfred had bought for the dinner.

“The typical big-brother talk then, huh, babe? I can handle it.” He had whispered with a laugh and Arthur had chewed his lip.

At least now Alfred knew why.

“Your brothers hate me,” Alfred said with a wince and Arthur shuffled his feet.

“They hate everyone I date. Always find something wrong with them.”

And that was where the problem lied.

Because Arthur had said to him a while back, after launching into that self-pitied monologue centered around doom- ”Dinners with my family, they’re the reason I’ve never had many long relationships, Alfred.”

It could only mean that nights like these were the nights Arthur decided to date or not to date, because who in their right mind would date someone their family so obviously despised?

Alfred had definitely failed that test.

Hell, his nervous, shaking fingers broke half the things he’d touched. He’d managed to elicit a sneer to every question he’d answered-

“A job, no, I don’t have one… Um, no, I don’t get straight A’s…”

And his personal favorite. “Haha, I guess I’m a virgin. That depends on your definition, though.”

Even sweet Mrs. Kirkland had made a face at that one.

“Does this change things, Arthur?” And Arthur looked up at him so fast Alfred was dizzy. Those big green eyes bore into his, and he took another step forward.

“It does, though, doesn’t it?”

Alfred somehow understood.

Arthur was proud. He wanted perfection, he wanted to be- as Alfred would jokingly tell him when the occasion arose- envied.

With a clumsy, dud of a boyfriend like Alfred, one that his family found less than ideal? Alfred could see it coming. A quick break before anything got too serious.

So he didn’t understand why Arthur let his forehead rest on Alfred’s chest, hands fisting the fabric of his shirt.

“Alfred Jones, you are the biggest idiot I’ve ever dated in my entire life.”

“What?”

“You should’ve seen the looks on their faces, my brothers-” A small chuckle and Arthur stretched onto his toes to press a hesitant kiss on Alfred’s jaw. “You’re an idiot.”

“Is this how you normally break up with people?” Alfred said with a small smile and Arthur peeled away, brows drawn together in panic.

“This is us breaking up?”

“Did you see the damage in there?”

The look on Mrs. Kirkland’s face as she swept up the shattered remnants of at least two plates. The look on William’s face when Alfred had unwittingly served a compliment that turned out to be backhanded. The look on Patrick’s face when Alfred had toyed with his foot under the table rather than Arthur’s.

Failed.

“This wasn’t a test,” Arthur said, stepping away to shove his hands in his pockets. “Dinners like these are when boyfriends get spooked by my family, and almost always leave.”

Arthur glanced up to ask the question. “So you’re leaving?”

Alfred loved family.

He loved being a part of something greater, he loved becoming integrated into his boyfriends’ lives when the time came- having a second mother to wrap him in a warm embrace, second brothers, a home, which was indeed greater than a house, and what was one when you could have two?

What was his when he could have Arthur’s as well? To watch as he slowly but surely became a part of his boyfriend’s life because yes, he was greedy, and it put a warm feeling in his fingers and toes that he found himself craving. Alfred loved family.

And the thought of what happened tonight hurt, but not as much as the thought of leaving. “No.” was what Alfred said in response.

Outstretched arms, an action to which Arthur came cocooning right into Alfred’s chest.

“God, your brothers hate me.”

“They’ll come to love your bumbling self like I do.”

Alfred let Arthur burrow into his shirt, wrapping his arms around his smaller boyfriend’s frame as he buried his nose into that shampoo-scented, straw-blond hair.

A small shift in position to steal a kiss from Alfred’s lips. “Well… not quite like I do.”

#usuk #aph america #aph england #request #reply #lovely anons #Anonymous #my fanfiction #lol... my writing has been on a decline lately #im sorry if this isn't as good ;; plots are becoming harder for me to formulate

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sambinnie · 5 years

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This week’s wonderful & worthwhile things:

[All links repeated at the end]

1. Our kitchen ceiling caved in, due to a major leak from the bathroom. But there’s nothing like children dancing around in helpful excitement to make a small catastrophe feel like a minor adventure. (It’s only when a secondary leak floods the initial repair that I cry.)

2. The courgette seeds we planted have become fat leaves on dark stalks, budding again and again. I’m currently debating whether I need to cancel all trips away from the house, so I can be here to care for the tiny kitchen garden of sprouting herbs and craning, fur-bedded vegetables. I feel like a god. I started with a bag of soil & seed compost, an old tupperware box, and seeds; accessible to lots of people, I hope, and I cannot recommend it enough.

3. It’s difficult to measure love, and it’s irresponsible to discount the effects of our parents’ inherited trauma. I can safely say, however, that I have never once felt loved by my mother. I disliked her through my childhood and teens with the kind of gut-instinct a child has for grinding quotidian injustice, then found a peace with her in my twenties. Friends with similar parents had said over and over, ‘It’s just about accepting that they’ll never be who we need. We just have to decide whether we want to have a relationship with who they actually are.’ And I did, so we saw each other frequently, and I swallowed that sense of always being manipulated and unheard. (When I told her news of my job redundancy, or my pregnancies, or my cavernoma, I was cut off each time with more pressing anecdotes of her own. It was almost funny, in the way family jokes are, except for all those times when it wasn’t.)

Last summer, four years since the cancer treatment and death of my father — appointments and notes and visits, my efforts to ensure distant family were kept informed about each change in condition, each suggestion from the care team — I had a similar nerve-wracking few weeks with my mother, this time in a French hospital. This time I couldn’t visit, but found myself the initial point of contact, responsible at first for telling her neighbours, siblings, and my sisters, as well as calling her and the hospital each day for updates. Some weeks after her return, I received a typed letter informing me that I was subsequently being removed as one of her executors (my sisters though would remain) as well as having my power of attorney revoked. I have never uncovered why. She didn’t contact me on my birthday, nor on Christmas Day (I, like all children in these circumstances, still contacted her on her birthday and at Christmas. We always want to prove that we’re better than they’ve told us). All of this wormed inside my brain, constantly, painfully, until sudden clarity hit: Jackasses Gonna Jackass. (Before I was declared the Most Terrible Person, my sister held the title; before her, my father; before him, my uncle; before him, probably me again. This realisation also helped.)

As my children grow older, my anger returns. As they grow past milestones I remember from my own childhood — the age I was when calmly told to choose what I was going to be hit with after some behavioural infraction; the age I was when she stormily cut my hair from past my shoulders to a boy’s dull, savage chop (I wept throughout — my father tried to intervene — she insisted afterwards that it was what I wanted); the many, many ages when she consistently told my embarrassed visiting friends to ignore me as I was ‘just showing off’ – such a trivial slight! such a shaping of my feelings about keeping her away from people I valued! –; the years and years where I wrestled with my unfathomable unhappiness in this nice, middle-class home where I was bought presents and taken on holidays — it seems horribly simple to avoid these things. Don’t humiliate your child. Don’t terrify them. Don’t constantly repeat the witless truism that you ‘love them, but don’t like them.’

I find it easy to admit making a mistake. I apologise freely and with thoughtfulness to my children, my partner, friends, because I am not perfect, because we are all human. Part of growing up is the difficult realisation that your parents are human too, and they make mistakes. But sometimes it’s even harder to accept that you really haven’t done anything wrong – at four, at seven, at 10, at 37 – and that you, like everyone else, deserve better.

Anyway, when I vanish down a Lucille Bluth-flavoured hole of anger and hurt, I remember that exercise helps everything. And it does! Do treat yourself to some, if you can. Also, I read this book while camping recently and it is wonderful. Dodie Smith writes with such understatement that I could read her books twenty times and come away with something different each go.

4. This programme (part 1 of 2) about Jeremy Hardy is so utterly wonderful. It also contains clips of brilliant Linda Smith and Humphrey Lyttleton, and I realise I spend vast portions of my time watching, listening to, or writing comedy because it’s how I understand, process, and communicate my own feelings to the world. (If that’s not turning your lemons into lemonade, I don’t know what is.)

5. I finally order prescription sunglasses, after years of balancing normal sunglasses over my spectacles, on the pollenous days I can’t hack contact lenses. Continuing my Squash And A Squeeze philosophy of life, it feels like a gift, delighting me at least six times a day.

6. Although repetition has somewhat rendered athletic ads featuring everyday girls and women a cynical trope, there’s nothing like watching a large group of girls play a sport they love. The variety of body shapes, the support they offer one another, and the sheer enjoyment of it. Really, don’t all joys boil down to enjoying our bodies while we can?

7. The day is bright today, and I took the dog on a longer walk than usual; watching that dog trying to run out a greyhound was hilarious, the sleek fool. At the time, I was listening to this episode of The Cut on Tuesday, on the topic of Spring Horniness and the weird trash we get hot over, which contains the immortal line “The bud is breaking through. But the soil that nurtured the bud was all fucked up, and now the flower is weird.” Also, the final line of the episode made me do an actual out-loud bark of laughter.

8. It’s several years old now, but I love how both Bad Neighbours 2 and this review scratch an itch in completely different ways. I love the film for everything it undoes of the first one, plus the sheer charm of Efron and furious optimism of Chloë Grace Moretz; also, Rose Byrne, who might be one of the most underrated comedic actresses of our time. But the review offers something else, and sates the library-card-carrying part of my brain that wants to read a thousand think pieces on Magic Mike XXL and Parks & Rec and The Windsors. I hope you enjoy both.

1. When Jeremy Hardy Spoke to the Nation here

2. The Cut on Tuesday – I Want to Put My Mouth on That here

3. Little White Lies review of Bad Neighbours 2 here

#hope #gardening #inherited trauma #comedy #podcasts #film #reviews #recommendations

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2whatcom-blog · 5 years

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Tips on how to make an Avengers movie in 11 steps

Avengers: Endgame, the fourth instalment in Marvel's superhero crossover franchise, made an unprecedented $1.2bn on the field workplace final weekend. It is the most important three-day haul in film historical past; and a testomony to the power of Marvel's serialised method to story-telling. Administrators Joe and Anthony Russo mentioned they had been "definitely surprised" by the movie's "runaway success" - but additionally introduced they had been taking a break from the superhero style, after making two Captain America and two Avengers movies within the area of seven years. "One of the most important things we learned is that when you're shooting two of the largest movies ever made, and you're shooting them back to back... is don't shoot 'em back to back," Anthony informed BBC Information, confirming the duo's departure. Joss Whedon skilled related feelings after writing and directing the sequence' first two instalments. "Why on Earth would I make another Avengers movie? They're really hard," he mused on the DVD commentary for Age of Ultron. "It was ill advised. I see that now." However Marvel's Cinematic Universe will proceed - with new instalments of Spider-Man and Guardians of the Galaxy already confirmed; and a brand new configuration of The Avengers nearly a certainty. When you someway find yourself within the administrators' chair, how must you put together? Listed below are 11 key classes from the individuals who made the originals. This text doesn't include spoilers for Avengers: Endgame, however will focus on plot particulars from the previous movies.

1) Begin out on a TV present

All three administrators of The Avengers made their names in TV. Joss Whedon created Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Firefly; whereas the Russo brothers labored on cult comedies Neighborhood and Arrested Improvement. These experiences had been invaluable when it got here to wrangling a forged of greater than 20 characters, "because they are all ensemble shows," says Joe Russo. "Those were shows that had to be executed in 21 minutes, they had to be funny, and they had to have a plot. And sometimes, like in an episode of Community, you'd have 30 speaking parts - so that's an exercise that certainly trained you in trying to contain as many characters as we do in two hours." "We're drawn to multiple points of view and group dynamics, because we grew up in a very large Italian-American family," provides Anthony, "so we've always loved working with ensembles."

2) Know the characters inside-out

The enjoyment of the Avengers is seeing how these disparate characters, and the actors who play them, work together. "There is a natural competition when the leads from two different franchises get together and it plays right into the competition of two heroes getting together - so it is delightful," noticed Infinity Battle script-writer Chris Markus final yr. "A very compelling element of crossovers is who has primacy. They're all leaders, they're all used to leading their own worlds, and once you put them into the same room, who gets to call the shots? That is a notion we revisit several times." Nonetheless, it is a problem to offer 23 separate characters a definite voice within the confines of a three-hour movie. Fortunately, there's an outdated screenwriting tip that turns out to be useful: In case your characters are well-written, it is best to know the way every of then would react in the event that they by chance fall right into a swimming pool. "Thor from Infinity War would mess that pool up," says Anthony. "Whereas Rocket - he's not exceedingly self-deprecating, so I think I could see him gag and spit. He'd be a little irritated."

3) Take a number of rest room breaks

Scott Derrickson just lately tweeted how he "ran into Joe Russo outside the men's room," whereas he was enhancing the Physician Unusual movie in 2015. "He pitched me the basic story for both Infinity War and Endgame I told him that if he could make the first movie work, the second movie would be incredible." Which begs the query: How lengthy did Joe maintain his colleague ready for the john? "I think it was like a 10-minute pitch," he laughs. "However the funniest factor is that individuals are like, 'Do you guys get collectively at Marvel on a regular basis and have conferences in regards to the storylines?' "And the reply is, 'No, all of it occurs on the way in which to the lavatory'. That is the place everybody runs into each other and begins exchanging data." In different phrases, do not maintain it in.

4) Maintain the story easy

For the entire acclaim heaped on Infinity Battle, the plot could be boiled down to 3 phrases: "Thanos desires stones". "We've so many characters within the film that we knew if the plot was difficult, it will take too to elucidate and that might take away from the characters and the motion," mentioned screenwriter Chris Markus on the DVD commentary. Even the variety of Infinity Stones brought about a headache, mentioned co-writer Steve McFeely. "Had we invented the concept of Infinity Stones in a vacuum, I am certain we'd not have determined there have been six of them. Six MacGuffins is loads for one film." To maintain issues shifting, the Russos dictated that each scene "needed to do a couple of factor". So the opening sequence - by which Thanos crushes the Hulk, kills Thor's brother Loki and steals one of many Infinity Stones - conveys three plot factors in two minutes. "It establishes Hulk's journey - he is been defeated and would not notably wish to assist Banner over the course of the film," defined Anthony Russo. "It establishes a vengeance story for Thor by taking out his brother, and it establishes the plot for stone assortment."

5) The percentages ought to appear insurmountable

"I needed to make a film the place being a superhero wasn't a free go," mentioned Joss Whedon, about scripting the primary Avengers movie in 2012. "The place issues had been robust sufficient that you'd be as sturdy as you can probably be and nonetheless not be sufficient to take care of what was occurring. "The stakes," he added, "are at all times the identical. "The stakes are: You can die."

6) Acknowledge the ridiculous

When your heroes are up in opposition to a sentient robotic who's ripped a whole metropolis off the face of the planet, it pays to acknowledge that the whole lot's a bit far-fetched. And so, on the climax of Age of Ultron, Hawkeye takes inventory of the state of affairs and says: "We're combating a military of robots and I've a bow and arrow. None of this is sensible." "I discuss with that as 'inoculation,'" Whedon explained. "He says the factor we're all considering, and it performs."

7) Discuss to the animators

The Avengers movies are among the most effects-heavy films in historical past, with 4 main characters - Thanos, Hulk, Rocket and Groot - created by laptop animation. Making them plausible is a vital activity, so each Whedon and the Russos began working with artists earlier than the scripts had been written. "Thanos was troublesome," says Joe Russo. "We knew we had been sunk if Thanos wasn't photo-real, so we spent two years doing analysis and growth on Thanos and ensuring that he would work accurately." For his debut because the Hulk, actor Mark Ruffalo even wrote a letter to the consequences group, stressing that his motion-captured performances had been solely the primary stage of making the character. "We're all enjoying this half," he wrote. "I've taken it so far as I can and also you guys have to make use of what you'll be able to after which overlook about me and change into the Hulk." "It was extremely inspiring to the animators," recalled Whedon, who set aside a day to explain how the movie portrayed two different aspects of the green-skinned monster: "The one Bruce Banner turns into unwittingly and the one he decides to be". "What I discovered later was that almost all of them - the truth is all of them - had not been in a position to see the script, in order that they had been simply animating issues in a vacuum," he said. "So it was extremely productive."

8) At all times put the raccoon on a chair*

Have you ever ever seen that Rocket - the CGI raccoon performed by Bradley Cooper - is nearly at all times standing on a chair? "That is a terrific level," says Anthony. "Whenever you're coping with characters of radically totally different sizes, it presents a number of framing challenges. "You start to learn tricks in blocking to keep everyone in the same relative plane, so you can actually shoot them." (* or on a desk, or positioned within the foreground, or simply movie the whole lot in a large shot.)

9) Ban t-shirts

Finish of Youtube submit by RED Lion Film Shorts Once we first meet Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow in Avengers Assemble, she's tied to a chair, barefoot and in a vest high, apparently being interrogated by shadowy Russian forces. In fact, she breaks free in spectacular trend... however her outfit made it one of many hardest stunt scenes to choreograph. "Whenever you say 'she has no sleeves' to your stunt co-ordinator he cries man tears," Joss Whedon famous afterwards. "It's very difficult to do a lot of these things if you can't pad up the knees and elbows."

10) Embrace the darkness

Making these movies is "incredibly physically demanding," says Joe Russo, and there'll inevitably be darkish days. "When you start out, it's all perfect in your head," Whedon informed BBC Information in 2015, "and while you work with the actors, it will get higher. "Then sooner or later you've got been enhancing for thus lengthy you begin considering. 'Who am I? What's occurring?' and also you overlook why you ever confirmed up, and what you are making an attempt to say. And also you despair. It is a very bleak expertise.

11) Emotion > motion

Including character beats to motion sequences has been Joss Whedon's calling card since Buffy - and he pulls it off completely in Age Of Ultron's climactic battle, the place Hawkeye stops whaling on the unhealthy guys to debate dwelling enhancements. "You know what I need to do? The dining room," he tells Black Widow. "If I knock out that east wall, it'll make a nice work space... What do you think?" "That sequence is, for me, the reason I show up," Whedon mentioned within the commentary. "Where two people in the apocalypse are talking about re-doing the dining room, that says more about their relationship than anything else I could have done." The Infinity Battle group made an analogous choice. Their movie would not finish with a battle however the emotional fallout of Thanos's "snap" - scenes that left some viewers in tears. So what is going to they really feel after they stroll out of Endgame? "Catharsis," says Joe Russo. "We realise how impactful the Infinity War ending was," provides his brother. "We saw how difficult it was for many people and that's something that we really respect. So we were very committed to paying off that kind of a story." Comply with us on Fb, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. When you have a narrative suggestion e mail [email protected]. Read the full article

#2what.com #avengers #characters #infinity #plot #russo #thanos #whedon

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luminisvii · 5 years

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So it’s pretty late right now and I’m liberally using the Bold function, but let’s talk about bad fanfiction.

Usually the first thing that springs to mind when it comes to bad fanfiction is My Immortal. Anyone who’s talked to me for more than five minutes knows that My Immortal is undoubtedly one of my favorite pieces of literature. And that’s not a joke, I think it’s an absolute masterpiece of bad. The misspellings, the reworkings of the characters to be goth/scene in an incredibly middle school way, to Marty McFly’s cameo to the chapter written by a self proclaimed troll--It’s a perfect storm of bad literature that makes for a hilarious read. I won’t get into a huge tangent but what makes My Immortal so funny is it has a certain level of naturalness to its writing where you’re never quite sure how serious the author is. The true joke is the mystery. We’ll never know who wrote the infamous fic and how serious they were when they did.

However, My Immortal is kind of scratching the surface. See, that’s a fic that’s actually funny bad. Most bad fanfiction is bad bad. Today, I intend to discuss the lesser known fanfic that I rank as being one of the most difficult reading experiences I ever had, and I only successfully pulled through after many years thanks to the love and support of my friends and us reading it out loud at 4 AM.

That fanfic is known as My Inner Life. Don’t let the title fool you, it was written well before our favorite goff showcase and it’s honestly a whole lot worse. This Legend of Zelda fic, written by one Jen and based on her dreams, features a young lady named Jenna who is a simple merchant traveling in Hyrule when one Link catches her eye and it goes downhill from there. The short version is that there’s a lot of overly dramatic sex, tedious clothes descriptions that include too many triforces, poor treatment of horses, Jenna getting praised and lavished with attention for no reason, and no research put into the lore. After a while it straight up forgets about being an Ocarina of Time fanfic and launches off into some nonsense about griffins and an evil lord I can’t actually remember the name of (It was very late and I was very tired so I called him Lord Asshole after a while, it has the same effect) and also that The Griffins, who live just beyond the Black Mountains, do not trust easily.

If you wish to read it, you should probably quit now, but if you are too weak (which is honestly understandable) here’s my recounting of the story.

Where to start is a little bit hard, but a good place is the insane 2,000 word author’s note at the beginning. Jen, seemingly unaware of how thin skinned she’s being, goes on about how anyone who leaves her a negative review is being is immature and thin-skinned. Here’s a delightful excerpt that shows the author’s view on all of this!

“Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you’re emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine.”

She spends quite a bit of time talking about how reviewers need to be more mature as she dedicates that much time to complaining about negative reviews and methodically rebuking everything they say from her poor grammar to Jenna being a Mary Sue. Now, props to the author for straight up saying that Jenna is the obvious author avatar that she is--Jenna is simply the dream persona of Jen, which okay, fine, that is not that bad. It’s what happens with Jenna that really makes me want to drink.

The other majorly telling factor is the first line of the story itself.

“Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that feels very real.”

You may have noticed a redundancy there. That is only the beginning. If you get tired of hearing about the same things repeatedly, you will be VERY tired very quickly in here. Jen likes to constantly explain things to the point where she has footnotes in the story, and just after citing a footnote she explains what was cited in text anyway so now you have a double explanation.

“A tale of love, passion, despair and hope. I enjoyed my inner life. I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. And I look forward to ones that will come, because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.”

I love quoting that. I’m also not sleeping so I guess I don’t know the meaning of true love.

Anything beyond this point is where I start to die because I actually grew up playing Ocarina of Time and I’m quite well versed in its lore, so if you are too this is going to be about as pleasant as root canal.

Since me recounting everything in detail means we’d be here into the next year, I’m going to try to boil this down to its essence. TL;DR: Jenna meets Link and they fuck. Badly. A month later and they’re getting married so they can fuck more. This whole time you have King Hyrule who is treating a random merchant off the street better than Zelda, the Sages are just inexplicably back despite now residing in the Sacred Realm. Zelda also inherently gives up the throne because she will not marry and thus is no longer in the line of succession but this random guy from Kokiri Forest who married a random merchant is! Ruto is turned into a jealous harpy and the other sages hardly appear at all.

After they get married they go to the part where I quit the first time I started reading this fic which was the Bonding Ceremony. If getting married to a guy you met a month ago wasn’t enough, going to a monastery and getting telepathically bonded by drinking his piss sure is. Okay, it’s not JUST the piss drinking, but that was enough to make poor 2014 me stop trying and go lie down. They also fuck in front of the monks because that’s a thing straight people do, I guess.

Somewhere in there Jenna gets pregnant and has a child. She names the child Link Jr. I don’t have anything to say about that, I think it’s comedy in itself. On top of that Epona also gets pregnant so they get new horses named Midnight Star and Star Dancer. That’s not an important detail at all, my friend simply hates those horse names and I’m bringing them up on the off chance that she reads this.

Oh yeah, Dark Link is an antagonist at one point and he inexplicably talks exactly like a stereotypical villain and ties Link and Jenna up in a room and leaves them there for no reason like a small time crook leaving Batman in a cage with all his gizmos nearby. And turns out Jenna has magical powers and is from some ancient race of super people or whatever. They have to explain this over and over again in the same few paragraphs and I want to die.

Beyond all the bad sex that has tiger metaphors (Somehow Jen knows how tigers fuck) there’s the Original Material which had me crying more than the tragedy that was the remain of OoT’s story. Once we get tired of Link and Jenna’s love story and Tiger Sex, there’s suddenly an invasion from Lord Ariakas who is threatening the Griffins who live beyond the Black Mountains, just a day’s ride from Hyrule. He’s just some evil guy who threatens the Griffins, who do not trust easily, and who live near The Black Mountains. If you think redundancy is painful then prepare for the worst redundancy you’ve seen yet. I went insane when we were reading this and tallied all the times The Black Mountains are mentioned and turns out it was a whole lot less than I thought, but almost all of them happened in a short amount of time so it felt like an eternity of explaining The Black Fucking Mountains. Turns out I’m a masochist of sorts because this STILL didn’t shake me off. In order to repel Lord Arakias’ forces, Link and Jenna need to talk to the Griffins who like to make a big deal about how they don’t trust anyone as they instantly trust Jenna and let her into their royal court to give her support and magical gifts. It’s kind of incredible how Jenna does nothing and is constantly rewarded for it.

Sadly this ends in a cliffhanger, like all good terrible fanfics. But that’s a semi-coherent retelling of the actual plot. It takes way too long to explain any of these plot points in story. Characters constantly repeat themselves, there’s a bunch of small plot points I left out because we’d REALLY be here all year if we talked about this, there’s the original material where I have to give credit that she went and did this BUT ALSO DID YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS MANY TIMES WHAT THE BLACK FUCKING MOUNTAINS ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

I’m not okay. Time for some deeper analysis of particularly notable parts.

The sex scenes are sadly some of the less entertaining sections. They’re pretty boring for the most part, but then you have shit like “I turned tigress” and my personal favorite, “when I took his nut sack and caressed it with my hand, it was his undoing.” That exact sentence shows up TWICE in the fic, same wording and everything. Remember this, ladies, next time you have sex with a man, caress his nut sack. It’ll be his undoing. It’s not just the silly wording, though, there’s some stupid stuff in there too about how having sex makes your children stronger and also exactly how much fluid Jenna is ejecting which is a little bit alarming to say the least. Otherwise they’re a bit bland and use the same flowery language that you’d expect from poorly written erotica. Also they fuck in front of a bunch of monks. It’s for the bonding.

If you’re into LoZ lore then you’re going to have a bad time, too. My favorite thing is showing people the segment where Jenna explains how the OoT timeskip works because it makes zero sense to everyone, OoT fan or not. Let’s take a quick history lesson for OoT if you’re not familiar with it. In Ocarina of Time, a major plot point and element of gameplay is that Link travels between past and future in a seven year gap. From Link’s point of view, the change is instantaneous, right down to the fact that his age changes from child to adult and vice versa. To everyone else, they’re living those seven years. Time continues without Link there to observe it, and in Link’s absence Hyrule collapses. Thus is the plot--trying to stop Ganondorf from destroying the future with a power that Link and Zelda accidentally gave him. The point is all Non-Link people experience time normally, and the world moves on.

Somehow Jenna missed something that I inherently understood when I was a wee child of 8, barely able to play Ocarina of Time due to poor reading comprehension and lack of Zelda Puzzle Solving Skills™.

“Gannondorf tricked the soon to be "Hero of Time" into unlocking the door to the Sacred Realm. I even noticed that Zelda was a little older then I. Last I saw her she was four years younger then me. It was told to me that when Gannondorf went into the Temple of Time and into the Scared Realm, time jumped ahead in Hyrule seven years. Yet only two years passed in my land. And in the rest of the world.

After the "Hero of Time" defeated the King of Evil, the hero was granted to either return to the past or to remain in the present time. Since he chose to remain in the present Zelda jumped ahead of me in age by four years. It seems that everyone in Hyrule jumped in age from the rest of the world.”

I’m not sure I really understand still. I’ve read this so many times trying to comprehend and maybe I’m just stupid but this doesn’t scan. But when you time travel it should affect the whole world or else that’d be pretty fucked. Back To The Future would be pretty wack if only Hill Valley was sent back to the 50s but everywhere else was still 80s.

God, I spent too much time on this. It still hurts my brain.

I also just have to have a section where I metaphorically hand Zelda a box of chocolates and a check for 5,000 dollars for even being in this mess. The real MVP of the story is Zelda for tolerating all this bullshit. She has to watch her father treat Jenna better than her, she gives Jenna a bracelet from her mother who is dead for Jenna’s wedding, she has to passively accept that because she isn’t married she’s lost her claim to the throne and it’s being handed over to Link and Jenna because despite both of them being nobodies they’re more legitimate heirs to the throne than the king’s own daughter. She also has to be the one to help Jenna birth her baby and it’s maybe a little bit weird to have the princess of a nation be your personal midwife. Even if she is your so called best friend. Were I ever in the circumstances of giving birth, I wouldn’t make my friends help. Please get an actual nurse. Also for some reason Jenna won’t stop calling her baby a miracle and it’s done so frequently it’s a little off-putting. Even the chapter where the child is born is called “The Miracle” like idk I know life is mysterious and miraculous but I’m not sure giving birth, something a lot of cis woman can do, is a “miracle.” Me not sobbing while reading this is a miracle. Zelda, honey, you deserve so much better.

I’m running out of things that will actually last a paragraph or so tangent wise, so time to wrap things up with smaller notes:

-Jenna thinks that you boot horses in the knees to get them moving. You are probably not riding a horse right if you can kick it in the knees while sitting on its back. That’s not even getting into other horse related mishaps like the fact that kneecapping them isn’t a good idea either.

-Link Jr. is capable of math at like, four months or something. I wish I was that talented.

-Ruto is my wife and I will not stand for this slander against her. Yeah, call me a fish fucker if you want, Sidon is cute too don’t @ me

-Take a shot every time Jenna mentions triforces on her outfit (actually don’t)

-Jenna makes a big deal about how Link has to go off to war and how she’ll miss him and he’ll miss her and it’s all very emotional but he’s back literally the next chapter

-One of my favorite moments is Mido rightfully pointing out that Jenna isn’t a Kokiri and thus has no right to receive a fairy but everyone thinks he’s being super rude for actually having common sense. They barely gave LINK a fairy and he grew up there!

-I inflicted this on my friends and it went as well as you’d think it would. Quote supplied by Jen who is not THAT Jen but a far superior one

-Somewhere in the fic suddenly Link and Zelda’s eyes are capable of changing color based on mood, or maybe they could do this the whole time and my eyes were changing based on mood alright, they were glazing over and I missed it

-Jen always types “threw” instead of “through” and it’s just enough to throw me off every time. Also every time a character starts a new sentence she starts another set of quotations even if they were already talking and occasionally she misspells “huge” as “hugh” which leads to some hilarious circumstances

-THEY DRANK EACH OTHER’S PISS

-Apparently when you are telepathically bonded with your Husband/Wife you aren’t allowed to be in a room with someone of the opposite sex AT ALL. Personally I think that reeks of insecurity

-Also because a good pal loses her shit every time we mention it, Jen couldn’t come up with a marriage ceremony that wasn’t just a christian one for a universe where christianity doesn’t exist, but she sure likes to put world building into those DAMN GRIFFINS

All in All? My Inner Life is not for the weak willed. It is INCREDIBLY long and redundant and while it’s still pretty funny, it’s mostly plain terrible. I consider is a much better showcase of what bad fanfiction is actually like, and also since it’s of a more standard awful, it means people can’t badly parody it while missing the point as to why it’s funny. So at least there will only be one My Inner Life and no imitators.

Seriously, I hate My Immortal imitators. Write your own terrible fanfiction, damn you! If I had a shot for every time a fanfic was compared to My Immortal I would be dead six years ago. Getting compared to MI is not a good thing, but not for the reasons you’d think. At least My Inner Life only shares the basic premise of a self insert character and the rest is a ride of complete bullshit that’s par the course for terrible Mary Sue fiction. Everyone loves Jenna for no reason and those who voice the valid concerns against her are seen as unreasonable and stupid. Characters are bent backwards to serve the threadbare plot and apparently Jenna’s love life alone is enough to constitute half of the story before we just plain forget it’s a Legend of Zelda fanfic and it goes off into some generic high fantasy horse crap with dragons and Griffins and some evil guy like what even is his name and it all ends without any real closure.

However if you are strong enough or maybe just a masochist (me) I highly recommend this fic for just being a test of endurance and also for all the funny little moments sprinkled throughout. It’ll certainly be a waste of time and it’s a good thing to read with friends. While it’s an oldie, it’s a goodie, and no one comes out unscathed.

Also the author apparently is a good sport about it now, although who knows. It’s just a thing I heard. While I like making fun of Jen throughout reading the fic, she doesn’t seem awful. Just perhaps young and unaware.

Truly, the real treasure was the piss we drank along the way. I’m sorry I will never be over that

#don't tell me tell #long post #REALLY LONG ASS POST #i couldn't sleep so i made this essay instead #i accept my fate as the bad fanfic expert #i might regret this later #but for now i need rest

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roxiemegs · 6 years

Text

A teacher-mama’s rant

Those who know me personally are probably aware that I’ve been in the habit of sort of “adopting” various kids and teenagers. I’ve been happily married twice—which sounds funny, until I reveal that I was widowed at a relatively young age. Both of these good men were previously married, and had children that I came to know and love as if they’d been mine—even though they weren’t in my house full-time. I’ve step-mothered a grand total of seven kids: four girls, three boys. I also have an almost-three-year-old little girl with my husband.

When my first husband died, I only got to see his kids twice more: at the funeral, and when they came to get stuff from our home. This wasn’t by my choice, but because their mother had never liked me, had spent the years of my marriage systematically belittling her ex and his “fat wife” to not just the children, but to anyone whose social circles might happen to overlap with both of ours. Any attempt on my family’s part to communicate with the children after their father’s passing was met with hostility and barely-veiled threats.

To contrast, my second husband’s ex-wife has only ever been kind to me and about me to everyone, openly encouraging her children to love me and be happy about their father’s remarriage. We aren’t best friends, we don’t always agree on everything; but we are friendly, and we can come to an agreement on tough issues without animosity. The effect on these children’s mental health and self-concept is monumentally different than in the first case.

Why the background? It’s certainly not to air past grievances, though if you want to hear some wild “I thought that kind of thing only happened as a dramatic ploy in movies” stories, give me a shout. What this is about is, you might say I’ve become rather good at parenting other people’s children.

This is compounded by the fact that, by profession, I’m a teacher. It’s not the best-paying job for a person with a master’s degree, but I love it. I work at a school that is almost smack-dab in the center of Salt Lake County, Utah. I teach high school Spanish, but I’m also privileged to teach improv comedy theatre and coach an amazing team of comedic actors. I don’t expect Spanish to be everyone’s favorite class. It wasn’t mine when I was a teenager. But I build a rapport with my teenaged students that improves my life, and I believe it improves theirs. A lot of people that age don’t feel comfortable talking with their parents about their problems—not because of something wrong with the parents or the kids, but because they’re stretching into the independence of adulthood. I’ve become the trusted adult confidante for some vibrant adolescent people going through things nobody would want to.

I’ve taught in four different schools across two states: both public and charter, in Florida and Utah. I’ve taught at a high school, middle school, a K-8, and a K-12 (though the latter two have had me teach secondary kids only). I’ll be the first to admit, large groups of small children scare me. I adore my sass-bucket of a toddler, and have real love and affection for many children of friends and family members, but once you gather more than five of the really young ones together, I’m looking to skedaddle. My favorite group to teach is high schoolers, followed by middle schoolers. I personally believe that decent people who teach elementary school deserve a free pass straight to heaven.

With my high schoolers, they prefer for me to discipline with humor, even good-natured sarcasm. Yes, it exists. The secret is that they have to recognize that the snark is said with genuine affection and concern for their well-being. Because I have developed an easy-going balance of individuality, respect, and classroom rules that prevent violations of either, I rarely have large discipline issues crop up.

Being a teacher in Utah, which is the well-known capital of mormondom, comes with some interesting variations from the norm I came to know in Florida. In the interest of full disclosure, I am LDS, and have been my whole life. I was raised in a combination of states, birth through age 12 on the East Coast, then junior high through college in Utah. I remember living in the Bible Belt in my later childhood, and meeting people who’d never known a Mormon. My own sister had a close friend once that, when her family found out we were LDS, basically dropped all connection with us. I’ve had friends of other Christian faiths (yes, I do see myself as Christian, and no, I don’t accept your classification of me as not) who have sheepishly told me that their pastors have said some nasty things about my faith over the pulpit. Other friends whose primary knowledge of Mormons come from jokes on South Park, binge-watches of Big Love or Sister Wives, or the Book of Mormon musical. Of course, none of these accurately portray LDS doctrine, and mostly focus on lampooning the culture that has grown up around the religion.

But, bypassing the issues I have with entertainment that purposefully mischaracterizes anybody’s faith, there’s something that’s been on my mind as a student, and much later, a teacher in the Beehive State. When I moved here as an almost-teen, I had some major culture shock, HAVING GROWN UP MORMON. It was strange being one of many Mormon kids at school, hearing others in the halls talk about mutual or going to the temple, or any number of things at school. It was off-putting to me to see some of the same kids who were all mormony at church turn around and say and do some very non-mormony things at school. I often managed to find open-minded friends who were not really judgmental towards others (yeah, I write this after just passing judgment—my whole thing is, whatever you claim to believe, act it, and don’t be a jerk about it). Even as a young teenager, though, it BOILED MY BLOOD when people I knew excluded the non-LDS kids because they weren’t Mormon. And I totally called them on it when I saw it. Because I lived on the other side of that. My mom had it worse, and sometimes told me childhood stories of how kids at her school in South Carolina asked to feel her horns. I mean, our own Sunday School lessons often rehashed the histories of the early members of our faith being verbally abused, physically assaulted in various painful and dehumanizing ways, driven out of a string of places, and even martyred for being different. I wanted sometimes to just scream at people for being so sanctimonious that they couldn’t see how counterproductive it was to our claim of Christianity.

Calm down, Meg. It still makes me really angry, though I like to think it’s more along the lines of Jesus chasing the money-lenders out of the temple than along the lines of Herod being miffed at another king happening and ordering deaths as a result.

Back to the school where I teach. Overall, there have been a few factors that seem to have reduced bullying there greatly from the average school of that size. It still exists: wherever you have teenaged people on the path to self-discovery, you’ll find some whose insecurities drive their mean behavior towards others. But I have seen much less of it in our specific student population. We are also more diverse than your average Utah school. In many areas of the state, a visit to school will show you a bunch of white faces, with a tiny sprinkle of other other groups. This isn’t to say I don’t like white people or any other people, but having lots of different racial, cultural, and religious backgrounds represented is fun and fascinating to me. Humanity is this gorgeous mosaic, and the presence of so many shades of skin and eyes and hair, the scents of foods we call “comfort” and those we deem “exotic”, the songs inherent to the accents of the languages of the Earth...they all make it more beautiful.

I’ve heard kids of both LDS and non-LDS backgrounds bemoan ill treatment from the other side, and rightfully so. I’ve personally overheard some kids making the blanket statements of “all Mormons are...” That being said, it’s not nearly as common as the numerous stories of “they were my friends until it became clear I wasn’t interested in coming to church” from both students AND adults of my acquaintance.

It breaks my heart to think back on this week, hearing a mother recount to me how her daughter, a bright, talented, kind young woman, has been repeatedly marginalized by people who should be her friends on grounds of shared values, not passing acquaintances because she worships differently. Just like any mother, her tears were deep-seated, thinking back on the pain her beautiful child has endured from people who regularly consider themselves to be some of the nicest people in the world.

This is NOT a religious thing. It stands against all doctrine of which I’m aware. By being exclusive, by all these series of small unkindnesses, by being dismissive of those who don’t share ALL beliefs and values, you become for others what we’ve always denounced in the mobs that persecuted the early members of the church.

I’m a believer in the doctrine. The culture we’ve created surrounding it still needs work. I’m an LDS mother, but many of the kids I’ve “adopted” into my tribe as a teacher are not of my faith, and I’m asking you to take and apply Elder Uchtdorf’s words. Stop it. Please love “my” kids as friends for yours as much as you do those of our faith.

They are not a number to be added to our millions. They are not a problem to be solved. They are children of God who deserve to be loved, befriended, and accepted in their beliefs as much as your own children do.

And because I can’t end a blog post without something pulled from one of my fandoms, I’ll leave you with the quote from Yoda, one that I feel applies to all of us: “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.”

#teacher #teacherrant #utahteacher #soapbox #lds #mormon #ldsculture #lovemystudents

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stagesofabreakup · 7 years

Conversation

Stages of a Breakup: Week 33

1. Help your grandma’s friend set up a new computer she bought

2. Also try to help her backup her old one

3. She told the people at Dell when she bought the new computer that she “didn’t want” wifi, so they TOOK IT OFF THE COMPUTER, which you didn’t even know they could do

4. You’re working all night by Ethernet cord

5. The backup keeps failing because of a shadow copy timeout

6. You eat the world’s most intense grilled cheese that your Grandma’s friend (Winnie) makes for you

7. Google some stuff and get the backup to start

8. Winnie’s friend Joan comes over with nips of Ciroc and they talk and drink

9. You think being 75 in New York seems like the shit

10. Eat more cheese, now on crackers

11. Talk with Winnie and Joan for a while

12. Joan used to be a Private Investigator and she showed you her license and told you about how she used to look up all her daughter’s boyfriends

13. She mentions she is looking for someone to stay in her spare room on Roosevelt Island

14. You consider it, and let her know you have something until February but maybe after

15. You and Joan exchange numbers and make a tentative plan to have lunch/see the apartment on some weekend in the future

16. You were supposed to meet your friend but the backup has taken like three hours and still isn’t finished and now it’s too late to go to Harlem because also your friend has a real job

17. You just go home instead

18. Have one beer

19. Text your friend Charlie but he’s on a date (ooh la la!)

20. Try to got to sleep

21. Work from 12-6:00pm at the dance studio college job

22. Finish reading The Color Purple

23. It’s so good

24. Write like 15 pages in your journal

25. Count how many pages you’ve written in your journal in the past 3 weeks and it’s like 50

26. Decide to go to a mic after work in Brooklyn

27. Go straight there with your backpack and laptop and food bag

28. Get there after 45 minutes only to find out they switched it to a different night

29. Decide to go to a different one that’s back in Manhattan

30. Call first so you don’t make the same mistake twice

31. They don’t answer because it’s a bar

32. Decide to go anyway because what are the odds that’ll happen twice?

33. It does

34. Decide to go to your friend’s show that’s back in Brooklyn (thank god you have that unlimited Metrocard!) because you can’t just go home

35. She gets the doorguy to wave the 10$ cover

36. Watch all of your friends on the show

37. Laugh about periods

38. Be happy

39. Hang out for a TINY bit after the show but everyone just wants to go home

40. Go home

41. Work again

42. Start and finish one of the books from your favorite series

43. Agonize about going to your friend’s mic at 6:30 that’s intimidating and terrible when you’re already going to a different mic at 9:00pm

44. Go to the library

45. Check out some books and dvds!

46. Find a movie theatre you didn’t know was there!

47. Go home, drop stuff off, eat

48. Realllllyyyyyyy want to stay in and sleep and watch a library dvd

49. Email the hosts of the second mic you’re coming to reserve a spot and so you can’t back out

50. Walk 45 min there (Upper East Side-fancy)

51. Have the bouncer look at you for ONE second before saying, “Comedy’s in the back”

52. Go up

53. Have a great set

54. Hang around watching people

55. Run into your friend Mara

56. Take the train back with her

57. She decides to come to Philly with you this weekend, says she’ll see if she can find more shows, also you guys talk about maybe starting a mic together

58. Go home

59. Feel accomplished and good

60. Watch The Diary of a Teenage Girl

61. Be ENRAGED that they made the main character thin

62. Be less enraged when you look up the original artwork from the novel and realize she was much smaller than you remember

63. Love the movie

64. Text your friend Jade most of the night about a million different things

65. Feel connected and good

66. Try to sleep

67. Go to bed around 6:00am

68. Get up around 2:47pm

69. Spend two hours trying to get uptown while the trains aren’t working

70. Finally end up taking an express to 125th and walking the 15 blocks back down to where you need to be

71. Which is at a sports bar because the Yankees are playing and your friend Gaby cares

72. Get her and her girlfriend a drink, in addition to yours this costs 40 dollars

73. Hang for a while

74. Smoke weed on the walk to the train

75. Ride the train and start reading The Handmaid’s Tale which you got from the library

76. Find out that one of your cousin’s friends drank your good special beer you were saving

77. Feel your blood boil with rage

78. Have to actively calm yourself down

79. Start watching Fifty Shades Darker

80. It’s SO terrible

81. Go to sleep at 6:00am again

82. Spend a lot of the day in bed simmering about the beer

83. Finally emerge and confront him about it

84. He seems not to understand that that was wrong

85. Impress upon him that it is

86. He asks if you want him to replace it

87. You do

88. Leave feeling ok

89. Go over to Winnie’s again (late) to check out what the backup is doing (it’s STILL going)

90. Figure out the password to her new computer she forgot but wouldn’t let you write a hint for because, “it’s the one I always remember”

91. Fix that stuff

92. Scrap the backup because it wasn’t done after two days and Winnie says she doesn’t even want what’s on the computer anyway

93. Realize you’re WAY late to meet your friend Lizzy because everything got pushed back

94. Get to a bar called Ethyl’s like 45 minutes late

95. She’s not mad because as soon as you ger there she gets a phone call from a boy and now you have to wait and that’s karma

96. Ethyl’s seems cool, a waitress comes up to take your drink order twice while Lizzy is on the phone and you have to be like, “still waiting”

97. Write in your journal which is actually needed

98. Feel better

99. Lizzy comes back and actually wants to leave because Ethyl’s is really loud (it is)

100. She wants to get food and suggests Wahlburgers, the hamburger chain restaurant Mark Wahlberg’s family owns

101. Go there

102. Get tater tots

103. Talk about relationships

104. Realize how much you miss your ex-boyfriend’s body

105. Leave Wahlburgers (but not before taking a photo of the word collage on the ceiling of every movie Mark Wahlberg’s ever been in)

106. Go to Lizzy’s house

107. Eat ice cream and paint your nails and talk about rape culture

108. Watch the first episode of American Vandal which you did NOT realize was satire/funny

109. Go home

110. Watch the rest of Fifty Shades Darker and Katy Perry’s A Part of Me

111. Be genuinely sad that she and Russell Brand broke up

112. Try to sleep

113. Wake up at 9:37am for some reason?????

114. Talk to your mom on the phone

115. Address the holiday worries you have been having

116. Tell her you’d rather spend the holidays alone this year now that your parents are divorced and it’s not going to be what it was

117. She understands

118. You talk about how sad you are to miss Mardi Gras this year

119. While you say it you realize how fucking sad you will be to miss Mardi Gras this year

120. Your mom starts looking up tickets just to see

121. SHE FINDS ONE FOR 167 ROUNDTRIP BUT THEN LOSES IT

122. You find it again for 170 and BUY IT

123. YOU’RE GOING TO MARDI GRAS BITCH!!!!!

124. You are filled with joy

125. But also worry about seeing your ex-boyfriend because you don’t want to but it’s honestly unavoidable and you don’t want to hook up with him but part of you does and you don’t want to get wrapped up in all this again and feel weak

126. You tell like 5 people you’re coming back

127. They are excited but you’re also worried about where you will stay

128. Figure out a few places you can spread it among

129. And a friend who can pick you up from the airport at 8:42am, god bless

130. You also decide to buy your bus ticket for Philly this weekend while you’re getting things done

131. Your friends from college who live in Philly also saw that you’re coming on facebook and texted you so you’re seeing them now too which will be so nice and wonderful

132. On the phone with your mom you guys talked about “Metoo” and she shares that she wants to support but honestly doesn’t feel like she’s ever experienced sexual harassment

133. You are truly shocked that any woman can say that, but also happy that her life has been like that

134. You guys get into a deeper conversation and you share that the fear of rape drives a lot of what you do, even down to the weight you are

135. Your mom confesses that she’s thought that for years but didn’t think it was her place to say

136. You’re shocked but also feel like a weight is lifted having that validated/confirmed by someone who knows you so well

137. Start thinking about how to dismantle that fear

138. Have a really frustrating conversation with your friend Gabe about censorship and comedy

139. Take a shower

140. Get dressed

141. Decide to go to an open mic

142. Walk an hour there because you don’t have a gym membership yet and haven’t left the house today

143. Get there only to find out it’s not a mic anymore but a show

144. Look up another mic and walk there

145. Same thing

146. Do this two more times before giving up

147. Look up a movie theatre (something that can never let us down)

148. Head to it without even seeing what’s playing or any of the showtimes

149. Spend almost 20 dollars in a CVS on Pringles and Australian licorice and Sour patch kids

150. Get the ticket for free because you have an AMC coupon from the time you didn’t get to see Girls Trip after waiting in line for 5+ hours

151. Watch The Foreigner (the Jackie Chan vehicle that’s like Taken but if his daughter got killed in the beginning and it was just for the hell of it) while eating lots of licorice and pringles

152. Take the train home because you’re tired of walking

153. Be aware that more men have leered and catcalled you tonight than they have in a while and this was the first time you actually felt good getting dressed and going out and how strong that correlation between weight and male attention/sexual violence is

154. Kind of decide not to do that anymore and see what happens

155. Also tackle the idea that your ex-boyfriend’s body validates you in a way and try to see what you would feel for him if you didn’t need that anymore

156. Get home

157. Eat a strawberry yogurt

158. Tweet about Dave Chappelle and trans rights some (pro-both!)

159. Decide to read because you have to get up tomorrow to work even though you really want to watch the third XXX movie you have from the library

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