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homespork-review · 4 years

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Homespork Act 3: Insane Mindscrew Haymakers (Part 1)

BRIGHT: Before Act 3 proper starts, we see a message from Nanna to John, written in the front of the Sassacre’s joke book from Dad’s safe. The message is somewhat bizarre. For one thing, according to Nanna, the book it’s written in will end its journey on the day she dies...and still carry on for a while. For another, it talks about game elements we’ve encountered already, and hints at more to come. Overall it’s a nice bit of detail, enough to whet the reader’s interest.

You are no doubt reading this as a handsome and strapping young man! Why, the mangrit needed to lift the book is itself a sign of your maturity, not even to speak of the wisdom needed to grasp the nuance of Sassacre's time-tested mischief. I am so proud of you, grandson! How I wish I could have delivered this heirloom to you in the flesh. But I am afraid it wasn't in the cards! For you see, John, like you, this book must yet take a journey! Its journey will end on the Final Day of my life, and even then will continue some. Though I suppose that will be up to your Father. Perhaps he will discuss it with you one day, when he and you are ready. But it is your journey I am writing about to wish you luck! There will come a day when you will be thrust into another world. And once you arrive, that is only the beginning! You will soon delve even deeper into a realm of Warring Royalty in a Timeless Expanse. A realm of Agents and Exiles and Consorts and Kernelsprites. Of toiling Underlings and slumbering Denizens. A realm where four will gather, the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space, and together they will Ascend. John, if only you knew how important you were! I regret my passing came so early in your life. And yet I feel in my heart we have already met. But what I know for sure is that we will meet again! Until then, John, I do hope your Father keeps you well fed!

FAILURE ARTIST: As I said earlier, Hussie has artfully defaced books, including one antique one about an expedition around the world. Defaced books show up again in this comic.

CHEL: Particularly, it implies that Nanna also had knowledge of the game during her lifetime, somehow, and refers to the gathering of four heroes. This is our first introduction to the classpect system, which now rivals Hogwarts houses as a method of personality description in fandom at large. I think at the time I didn’t realise who it was referring to… Anyway.

Next, we officially meet GG, the fourth and final member of our gang, a “silly girl” with a cheery grin, sleeping in a greenhouse full of vegetables and spirograph-shaped flowers. Since she’s sleeping and can’t object, she’s referred to for a while as FARMSTINK BUTTLASS, but she’s way ahead of us; under her hand is a note admonishing the reader and declaring her actual name to be Jade Harley. I think she’s the cutest of the kids, myself - just seeing her first appearance makes me happy! All its weaknesses aside, Homestuck’s pretty great at creating painfully cute character designs and attaching a good range of personalities to them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade Harley was considered a “Mary Sue” when she was first introduced. I don’t know why. Yeah, she has a lot of eccentricities and unusual possessions but so do the other characters.

Farmstink is a reference to an old comic Hussie did about this dude obsessed with the stink of farms. Hussie’s early work is really weird.

CHEL: The reader attempts to wake Jade by dropping a pumpkin carved with an animal’s face on her head, but the pumpkin disappears; as we know, WV now has it. Fortunately for the pacing, Jade wakes up on her own. Look closely, and you’ll notice the symbol on her shirt changes each page; that turns out a bit later to be due to her hi-tech WARDROBIFIER. If I recall correctly, Hussie intended to settle on one chosen by reader vote, but ended up on a cycle of three different ones.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade settles on three icons to appear on her shirt. However, eventually just one icon stays on her shirt. The WARDROBIFIER doesn’t get much use with her, though a later character has the same thing.

CHEL: Jade is also wearing COLORFUL REMINDERS on her fingers, and when the view pans out it’s revealed by the view from the window that her GARDEN ATRIUM is on a high floor. She plays the flute badly for a while in a Flash game; apparently it’s not her preferred instrument. Also fortunately for the pacing, we think, she knows how to use her sylladex, and prefers to set its retrieval function in the form of a memory game because you seem to have a knack for always guessing right on the first try! On checking her reminders, she remembers to wish John happy birthday, gathers some fruit, and heads upstairs by means of a teleporter.

Jade’s bedroom proves to be full of various disturbing-looking plushies, albeit not nearly as disturbing as the Smuppets, hanging baskets and potted plants, a bass guitar, and G-rated furry artwork, including a piece obviously drawn by Dave. Franchises depicted in her toy and poster collections include GREEN SLIME GHOST (the apparent copyright-friendly source of John’s T-shirt and pogo ride), MANTHRO CHAPS (mustachioed human faces on plush animal bodies), and SQUIDDLES (adorable octopi with magnets in their bellies which stick together as Tangle Buddies!). Her favoured weapons are rifles, though she would never shoot an animal, and she has various gadgets on a worktable, including a thing that looks like a disconnected window not unlike those shown in Rose’s book, which she apparently hasn’t been able to get to work.

FAILURE ARTIST: Manthro Chaps is a reference to Hussie’s particularly disturbing set of comics where he plays around with anthropomorphization. Like having an anthro chicken man lay anthro eggs.

CHEL: The comic in question, Humanimals, can be found here; warnings for extreme body horror and general grossness.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade is told by a forum prompter to Lose interest in fauna and never speak of it again. Jade refuses to in a beautiful little speech but she denies she’s a furry. Oh, if she only knew what was coming for her.

Jade looks out the window and we find out she lives somewhere next to a volcano.

CHEL: The very same one which appeared in the animation at the end of the last act, in fact.

Your grandfather is a WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE. He has taught you everything you know.

Grandpa is heavily coded here and in his appearance a bit later as a Great White Hunter, an upper-class European guy who goes to faraway countries in order to shoot the animals there. Of course, non-white people can certainly do that, but white is what people will immediately picture upon seeing the trope. Also note we have another ridiculously wealthy family here. Since all four of the kids have now been introduced and we’ve had a lot of WSP points from their races and financial statuses already, here we get another HOW NOT TO point as well.

The Country Club Here every single character is white and middle-to-upper class. Unless your novel is taking place in rural Sweden, this will eventually give the reader the eerie feeling that some form of ethnic cleansing has taken place. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 7

One could argue that some form of ethnic cleansing is taking place, since these are the kids who are surviving the apocalypse, though that’s not actually fair because there are plenty of other SBurb sessions all across the world which might also succeed.

Jade opens her GADGET CHEST and produces several more items pertaining to her interests, including her computer, which she keeps in a Squiddles lunchbox. Several fortune-telling items are included among them, but according to Jade they are not the source of her abilities. The Magic 8-Ball is apparently usually wrong, responding to being asked whether it’s John’s birthday today with NOT EXACTLY, and the Magic Cue Ball is supposedly always right but is impossible to read, making it completely useless.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s another Problem Sleuth reference (or rather Problem Sooth) but what’s important is the Magic Cue Ball. Unlike her Magic 8-Ball, it has no window where one can read the prediction. If only Jade had a special vision. Perhaps an eightfold vision.

Jade goes to feed BEC. She has some sylladex trouble until she finally just takes a steak out of her fridge.

CHEL: Once again, the sylladex shenanigans waste several pages.

GET ON WITH IT!: 9

Bec’s identity is as yet unknown, but recall that Dave called him a “devilbeast” in an earlier conversation, and when he suggested shooting Bec Jade said she didn’t think she could if she tried. He also apparently eats nothing but steaks (lucky Grandpa’s a billionaire), so Jade is living on an island with apparently minimal supervision from her guardian and an allegedly dangerous carnivore running wild outside. Like Dave, at this point it seems to be very lucky she’s a cartoon character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Using a special oven she irradiates the steak. Umm, I think Bec can take that but I worry about Jade.

Jade finds and plays her elaborate bass and she’s much better at it than with the flute. During the flash, the camera pulls out and we find out where she lives: in a tower on a small volcanic island with a frog temple in the lagoon. An airplane goes by and drops a package.

Jade uses her super high-tech “lunchtop” to have a conversation with John. Nothing special about that but we see on her chumroll a bunch of unfamiliar handles. Hmm.

CHEL: The unfamiliar handles are listed in the “Trollslum”, which one presumes is a blocklist. I think you have to see just how hi-tech the lunchtop is:

"Jade: Get down to business." (Watch on YouTube)

Hussie’s really coming into his own with the animations by now.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has sent her some messages begging her to wake up and unfortunately one line has the f-slur in it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 7

In the end, he decides she’ll probably forget what he says.

CHEL: Begging her to wake up” doesn’t exactly cover it.

TG: youre asleep again arent you TG: or do you even know if you are TG: i still dont know how that works TG: its like nothing means anything

Apparently Jade sometimes talks to him while she’s sleeping.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a little flash where you can listen to some of Dave’s tunes. When you’re done with that, you can join her in looking at mspadventures.com. A crude John wearing a wizard hat is sitting on his lawn with the caption

It begins to dawn on you that everything you just did may have been a colossal waste of time.

What the hell is going on here? Is Jade reading what John is doing right now?

CHEL: I think it’s just a fourth wall joke, but it’s certainly accurate, considering our GET ON WITH IT count.

FAILURE ARTIST: Next, we get this flash called Midnight Crew: Act 1031. If you are watching it in 2019, the song playing is Dead Shuffle by Mark Hadley. However, the song was originally Nightlife by Bill Bolin. Unfortunately, Bolin had a dispute with Hussie over Hussie using music that Bolin considered WIP. Bolin blew up and called Hussie “unprofessional” and in a very professional move posted a photo of himself giving the double deuce. It’s a shame this happened since Nightlife is a jauntier and more appropriate tune.

CHEL: The Midnight Crew, to be specific, are gangsters with card-themed names who bear a striking resemblance to WV, living in a mysterious purple city full of towers, pitted against the Felt, another gang of odd-looking green fellows who wear bowler hats with numbers on them, in the colour schemes of a set of pool balls.

Hussie did make reference in the previous page to a “weird tangential intermission [which] clearly advanced the plot in no way whatsoever”, implying that it actually is relevant, and the purple city and its shiny black beady-eyed inhabitants look very familiar, but since as far as we know at this point the Midnight Crew is just a comic-within-a-comic, you know which counts get added to.

GET ON WITH IT!: 10 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 2

Just for the record, the leader of the gang is named Spades Slick, and yes, we’re aware that “spade” is a slur against black people, which makes it slightly unfortunate to be applied as a name to a black-shelled alien creature. However, we’re not counting that as PROBLEMATYKKS because Hussie and the Crew’s original writer certainly did not intend that. It’s not that commonly used a term from what I’ve seen, the playing cards would be the more likely immediate association, and with the other characters being Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Diamonds Droog, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence. If he was a black human, then I’d object more strenuously.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jade talks with Dave (I think the conversation is a repeat?)

CHEL: Yep.

GET ON WITH IT!: 11

FAILURE ARTIST: Finally, we get the flash we’ve been waiting for: Dave strifes with his mysterious guardian. Or rather, he strifes with Lil Cal while Bro is a speed blur.

BRIGHT: Unlike the other strifes up to this point, the reader can’t do anything other than watch, because Bro slices the command box in half right at the start.

TIER: In the world of Homestuck, the parental units are overall just really weird! Like dad Egbert severe overabundance of cakes and mom Lalonde's drunken dysfunction. It's overall all hilarious, fitting with the tone and humor of the story well!

But then we have our lovely outlier. The one, the hated, The. Bro “a huge bastard honestly” Strider! A.K.A basically the one guardian whose questionable parenting gets the Real Consequences treatment later on in this tale. Peculiar that.

CHEL: Now, under most circumstances, an adult man beating the hell out of a barely-teenage kid, on the precarious rooftop of a high-rise building no less, would be horrifying. However, Bro chooses to hit Dave with his puppet, which… is frankly hard to take seriously. Obviously it would still hurt if a real person did that, but it looks so stupid that the immediate assumption is that it’s a joke.

BRIGHT: Particularly when earlier strife moves like Rose’s ‘Empty Suicide Threat’ were intended to be humorous. This is about on the same level as that, in terms of severity!

TIER: Being smacked around by the flopping noodle limbs of a freaky puppet is honestly hard to take seriously. Hell, this entire sequence is chock full of outlandish “Rule of Cool” bullshit and I am Peeved that I was apparently supposed to look at this sequence of ridiculous events and go “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE”.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 7

CHEL: I could kinda see that with hindsight from the rest of the comic, but definitely not “OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A LOT MORE FUCKED UP AND ABUSIVE THAN THE OTHER AWFUL FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES”, which is what was apparently intended. And we also get another HOW NOT TO point, which we’ll give now even though the official “reveal” comes much later.

A Novel Called It - wherein an abusive parent exists Bad parents are everywhere in unpublished fiction. Whole cities of abusive fathers and sneering mothers live in the pages of books that can’t be sold. While occasionally, and notably in the horror genre, this sort of material can be made good (Carrie, V. C. Andrews), most cruel parents in fiction are just as much fun as they are in real life. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 14

That damn puppet gets creepier every time, admittedly, more so now that Bro is moving so fast that the thing appears to be dancing on Dave’s head under its own power. Dave’s expressions look more annoyed than afraid or hurt, however, in my opinion.

FAILURE ARTIST: Anyway, we go back to Jade. Rose is pestering her.

TT: I require a font of frighteningly accurate yet infuriatingly nonspecific information. TT: Do you know where I can find a wellspring of this sort?

Very business-like, isn’t it? Rose and Jade’s relationship is a big missed opportunity in this comic. They’re more like friends-of-friends than friends.

CHEL: I don’t know, that sounds to me like how Rose talks to the boys too; facetiously formal. Still, they don’t converse nearly as much as the boys do with each other or them. Male writers in particular tend to do this, and it’s not entirely their faults. People are socialised to think women talk a lot more than they do, so he probably didn’t notice.

TIER: A real shame honestly, we were fucking robbed of some peak interactions between a sunshine flower child and a “dark and brooding” baby goth. Fucking. Robbed.

FAILURE ARTIST: We find out that Jade was the one who had the idea of playing Sburb. She had told Rose that the game would answer some of Rose’s unnamed questions. Rose wants more information on this Big Day. Jade says the game will not be what Rose thinks it is and will answer questions Rose hasn’t thought of yet. On that mysterious note, Jade says goodbye.

CHEL: We check in briefly with Rose in the present, confirming that she’s found the secret passage and is escaping the fire, bringing the corpse of her cat along with her, then to John, who is doing much worse. The ogres (the giant tusked imps) have cornered him, and while he flails frantically about with his Pogo Hammer it doesn’t do much good. They beat the snot out of him with the old Sassacre book and the tire swing, then send him flying into the abyss; fortunately, Nannasprite is able to catch him on his bed and provide healing, allowing him to flail uselessly at the ogres again and get beaten up again, ad infinitum.

Back in the desert, a giant worm-like creature emerges from PM’s bunker and chows down on the cart full of mailboxes. PM is displeased, and puts a hand on the hilt of an ornate black sword.

Cut back to the FAQ, which John has found time to edit with information about the punch card system. He doesn’t know if anyone is left alive to play the game, but Rose asked him to add to it, so he will. He’s figured out with his 133t h4x0r 5k1llz that the captcha code on the back of the cards is converted into a binary-based pattern on the cards, 0 being blank and 1 being a punched hole. Overlapping the cards functions like a bitwise AND operation, causing both to be enacted. The 48-hole card system allows for 300 trillion combinations, but John lampshades the fact that this couldn’t possibly cover every conceivable captchable item, and that various combinations of overlapping cards would just produce the same combination. This is just adding to my conviction that the system ought to be reworked; the totems alone would probably allow for a much wider range, if one gets down to the atomic level of their shape. Then again, those would be a lot harder to merge… Still, I’m sure there’s some way to work it.

BRIGHT: This section was kind of surprising to me because up to this point we haven’t had much if any description of John being into coding, so the section came out of left field somewhat. Not bad, necessarily, just jarring.

CHEL: Actually, he did mention in his intro that he likes to program, albeit not very well, he had some coding books on his shelves, and the icons on his computer are named in a way which implies they’re some of his attempts at coding. However, this interest never really comes up again later that I remember.

Meanwhile, the secret passage Rose followed led to her mother’s laboratory, which bears the logo “SN” with a stylised atom and a spirograph pattern in the loops of the S. It seems Mom Lalonde knows more than she’s letting on about the game. Inside the laboratory is an enormous HUBGRID of devices into which the laptop can be plugged.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose uses that ol’ r-slur when she says she won’t go on the pad so that’s another point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 8

CHEL: Jade uses the TRANSPORTALIZER to travel most of the way down to the ground floor, but not all the way down because the one on that floor is blocked. As she walks down the last couple of flights of stairs, we see Grandpa’s own collections of stuff; taxidermised animal heads, suits of armour, mummified corpses (made by pasting in photographs to the cartoon background, it’s creepy as hell), and his BLUE BEAUTIES, or the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA; sun-bleached portrait photographs of beautiful women. On the final floor, we are confronted with the thing blocking the final portal; a gigantic preserved monster with a white head and green serpentine body. It took me till just now to figure it out but I think the white part is supposed to be a human torso on the snake tail; at first it just looked like a snake wearing a stocking mask. That’s what happens when the humans don’t have arms.

Jade thought she had logged off from Pesterchum, but suddenly it pings again, and here we are introduced to an entirely new section of the cast. We’re probably not spoiling anything by not being mysterious about them at this point in the fandom’s history, but just in case, we’ll stick to doing the reveals when the comic does. The person talking to Jade is one of the names from her TROLLSLUM, under the handle carcinoGeneticist; they gloat about being “BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU, FOREVER” when asked how they’re still contacting Jade after being blocked, and mock her about today being “FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP”. Angry, Jade blocks them again.

FAILURE ARTIST: I had forgotten that “they” appeared so early.

CHEL: Well, “appear” is stretching it; the TROLLSLUM only make contact through Pesterchum for a while yet. And when they show up, we’ll have both plenty of skilfully-written points to pick out and plenty of counts to apply.

#Homespork #homestuck #literary critique #sporking #Let's read #let's read homestuck #homestuck let's read #homestuck review #homestuck meta #homestuck reread

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otakucalsama · 4 years

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cal’s bella x crossover pairings fic recs

hello! this is cal here (obviously) and i’m just reposting this. i made it a while back, but the links didn’t work, so now i’m redoing it. this time, i’m going to make it smaller, with more posts, instead of larger in one post. so without further ado, here is my bella x the crossover pairings fic recs. also, this is only for completed fics, so if you have a story i didn’t add (that’s complete) send me a link and i’ll read it and then decide whether to add it or not. i will not, however, take any bella x edward, bella x jasper, or bella x jacob fics.

other fic recs here

last updated- 12/4/19

s u p e r n a t u r a l

d e a n x b e l l a

i. stick a fork in her by geezerwreench / m / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

Receiving another cryptic set of coordinates from their father, Sam and Dean Winchester head to the Pacific Northwest where they’re confronted by a different kind of werewolf, learn about a sparkly new type of vampire, and meet a girl who’s fed up with all of it. Written for the 2016 Fandoms Against Domestic Violence fundraiser compilation. Language, violence, character death.

ii. ever hear of cold ones by shenandoah76209 / t / 10-15k, three-shot / complete

When Dean answered the phone it was only because he saw Bobby’s number on the ID. “Yeah Bobby, what’ve you got?” What Bobby had was a Hunter up in Forks with something that sounded like a cross between a Wendigo and a Vampire. Either one of those would be trouble. A mish mash of the two? This could be nothing good.

iii. bad medicine by bertie bott / m / 15-20k, three-shot / complete

On the flight home from saving Edward in Italy, Bella has a decidedly different reaction to finding out the truth behind him abandoning her. While running from her demons, Bella crosses paths with a couple of new ones, one of which she has no desire to run from… New Moon A/U and set in the beginning of season 10 in Supernatural.

iv. azazel cullen by t1gercat / k / 30-35k, multi-chaptered / complete

During a hunt Sam Winchester gets a vision of their life-long nemesis hunting the daughter of an old friend of his father. Will they make it in time to save her? Can vampires even be possessed?

v. she’s everything by maxipoo1024 / m / 140-150k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella has spent her whole life thinking something was wrong with her, that there was a glitch in her brain. A chance encounter with the Winchesters confirms her suspicions. With a hole in her heart and an apocalypse on the horizon, can a certain Winchester brother save the world, the girl, and heal his own heart in the process? Takes place beginning of New Moon

v a m p i r e d i a r i e s / o r i g i n a l s

k l a u s x b e l l a

i. she didn’t have time by lorelei candice black / t / 20-25k, multi-chaptered / complete

Loosely inspired by the song She Didn’t Have Time by Terry Clark. Bella ends up pregnant after her birthday and leaves her home. Edward left her. On the way she gets help from a witch who helps her survive and asks something of her. Bella/Klaus soul mate romance. Give it a chance and review please. Now complete.

ii. wherever this goes by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

It was simple, until it wasn’t. Bella didn’t know that when she became friends with Kol that it would bring Klaus into her life. After falling in love with the feared hybrid she comes to the conclusion that maybe he’s not meant to be hers.

iii. mystically charmed to fall for klaus by lorelei candice black / m / 140-150k, multi-chaptered / complete

Set during season 1 of TVD and at the beginning of New Moon in Twilight. Bella is a witch, the Charmed kind of witch. I borrowed some Spells for the TV show Charmed. It has the same base as my MCTF that paired Bella and Elijah, except now she’s with Klaus. Rewriting makes it LONGER. Done

iv. troublemaker by bitemytongue / m / 15-20k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella Swan, doppelganger, ends up being the missing piece to Klaus’s ritual. Only this sets in motion a romance that ends up being everything she could ever want. Nothing can keep these two lovers from each other, not even a new identity.

v. untouched by lorelei candice black / k+ / 2-3k, one-shot / complete / sequels- unbroken + unclaimed

PART 1 of a three part story. Bella wonders if she’ll really be happy with Edward without physical contact and staying human while he’s eternally young. She makes decisions, she sets the path for a new future. Try it please.

vi. can’t help myself by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Their first meeting was strange, but it leads to wonderful friendship. This friendships lead to something a little more special. But stupid later decisions lead to bigger problems. Hopefully, they get their happily ever after.

vii. goner by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

It was dark. Everything was dark inside and all hope was gone for her. The only thing that made her feel alive anymore was her brother. The dark was seeping into her soul and she was starting to lose the fight within herself. All it takes is the soul identical to her own to make her feel something other than sorrow.

viii. midnight love by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

She got what most people never did a final goodbye to her father. Moving to Mystic Falls with her Aunt and cousin Bella finds a new home. But Mystic Falls was the last place she ever thought she would meet her mate.

ix. salvation by ncbexie25 / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

1st place Kittyinaz WC Feb 2015. Pain immobilized him, and it was only the help of his brother, Elijah, that caused him to move some hours later. But his words stirred the drive and determination within him to a new focus that would last one thousand years. “We will bring her back, brother. And we will avenge her. Always and forever, that was our pledge. And we will stick to it.”

x. reaper twins by bitemytongue / m / 85-90k, multi-chaptered / complete / sequel- the reaping of new orleans

Bella’s life is going smoothly after the Cullen’s left, until she finds she has a twin brother & was adopted. With her new identity comes new power. Bella discovers she’s a different type of supernatural. Charlie gets a new job in Mystic Falls, Bella moves to continue her education with her brother. Bella’s mysterious identity and powers attract attention to her. M for Violence

xi. third time’s the charm by bitemytongue / m / 8-9k, one-shot / complete

Everyone has an epic love. A person you fall for so quickly and so hard that you can see forever with them. It’s that type of love that everyone aims for in their life. I’ve been alive for 38 years and a vampire for twenty of those years. In all my time I found three loves, but there was only one I wanted forever with. ONE-SHOT Rated M for Violence

xii. lifting his curse by lorelei candice black / k+ / 10-15k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella is 6 when she tells Klaus he is like THE BEAST in her book. Can True Love’s kiss really break any curse? Who is Klaus’ true love? Just a short one I’ve had in my head for a while… Might get bigger later but that’s it for now!I added Nanny’s POV, along with Elijah’s and Katerina’s.

xiii. my heart is forever yours by bitemytongue / m / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

Far before she was Bella, she was Isabelle the wife of Niklaus Mikaelson. After hiding for centuries from her love, she finally re-connects with her past. M for violence.

xiv. nobody’s fault by darkest original / t / 65-70k, one-shot / complete

When something terrible takes place, part of the solution is to find someone to place the blame on. Alaric dies, it’s Esther’s fault. Elena dies, it’s Rebekah’s fault. When will people realize that blame does not rest on a just single person’s shoulders? It rests on the shoulders of each person involved, but sometimes accidents do happen and it really is nobody’s fault. B/K

xv. the visit by louisaxo / t / 3-4k, two-shot / complete

Set five years after the Cullen’s left. Bella returns to Forks with her new husband and family in tow, but who will they run into? ONLY DISCLAIMER:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SHOWS OR FRANCHISES MENTIONED IN THIS STORY.

xvi. on the 5th day of christmas, my true love gave to me (5 golden rings) by meekobb / m / 5-6k, one-shot / complete

Written for winter contest on BIT, prompt cozy fire. Bella develops an unusual friendship, seeks his help after going on the run for her survival. Circling a traditional bonfire, she learns all she needs is her family. M for adult situations, violance, and fun.

xvii. of wolf and man by cuinawen / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete

Seventh in my 'The 12 Vamps of Christmas’ series… Klaus is being pulled towards something or someone, and he is done fighting it… Rated M for a little language and violence. One Shot.

xviii. sacrificing time by lorelei candice black / t / 25-30k, multi-chaptered / complete

What would you be willing to sacrifice to ensure the safety and happiness of the man you love and know is your Soul Mate? Bella sacrificed time. Bad people killed, good people killed and brought back, other killed and completely ignored… Rated T for safety. 8 chapters once complete. Review, please.

xix. a jump through time by lorelei candice black / t / 85-90k, multi-chaptered / complete

A few months after Edward left, Charlie announces something important to Bella and it will lead her to New Orleans. There, she finds not only her grandma but also a cousin she never knew she had and the Mickealson’s. When something terrible happen, the only way to change things is to go back in time…Can she do it?Rating for safety. Bella/Klaus, Review please COMPLETE

k o l x b e l l a

i. enchantress by bitemytongue / t / 70-75k, multi-chaptered / complete

With only a few months left until her graduation, Bella is told she’s an Enchantress. Bella adapts to her new magical powers, and decides to finally get out of Forks, and move to Mystic Falls. Charlie and Bella buy a house there Bella moves a month early to set up the house. It’s then she discovers her 2 younger cousins Elena and Jeremy have been pulled into the supernatural.

ii. the oracle by poohbearbms / m / 80-85k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella loved Edward but when he left her in the woods that day he did not know the events he set into motion. Plans three thousand years in the making are about to be set in motion due to a broken heart and a desire to find who she really was meant for. With her her gifts to help her along the way the servants of nature will learn what the true meaning of natures balance is.

iii. red string by imaginary raine / k+ / 10-15k, two-shot / complete

Theirs is a story that have spanned a thousand years. He would search for her, and she would wait for him. Because no matter how long it took, they would find each other. It was their fate. Soulmate fic. Kol/Bella

iv. their forever promise by brookie twiling / m / 4-5k, one-shot / complete

They met in a dark alley. She, born and raised in a pleasure house, him, lonely and bloodthirsty. Both lusting for each other. They live happily for four years together before Klaus daggers him and Allibelle is left alone. A hundred years later and he’s free. What will happen when they find each other again? Will Kol forgive her for being with another? One-shot/ExplicitContent.

v. you’re not the one by bitemytongue / t / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

After centuries of being together, Kol has grown tired of the life he leads. In a solution to make him happy, Isabella lets him go. With a heart full of pain, she travels back to her homeland to get away from the heartache.e No longer going by Mikealson, Bella Salvatore returns to Mystic Falls to visit her boys. Only to run into the past she wasn’t ready to face.

vi. a love to kill for by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Kol moves to Seattle after his babysitting of Jeremy Gilbert in Denver. In Seattle he finds more than he was looking for when he comes across Bella Swan. M FOR VIOLENCE. One-Shot

vii. a shadow in the mirror by cuinawen / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Bella Swan finds herself dragged into the middle of things when mysterious murders begin to plague the small town of Forks. But the most obvious danger isn’t always the one you should worry about the most. Romance/Horror, Bella/Kol. *Mature Content* Halloween One-shot contest entry for Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Spook Fest

viii. moonlight and mistletoe by cuinawen / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

Twelfth and final story in my 'The 12 Vamps of Christmas’ series… After the Cullens leave Bella finds peace while going out running… and then someone finds her… Rated M just in case. One Shot.

ix. fallen for you by agmdnat / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

After her break-up with Edward, Bella found her soulmate in the form of another vampire, an Original vampire. She also discovered her real parentage that gave her amazing abilities and wings to go with it. M for some language and violence. [Kol,Bella]O/S

x. sanctuaire by buggyfiction / m / 90-95k, multi-chaptered / complete / sequel- pandore

On a class trip to New Orleans, Bella stumbles upon history like she never anticipated. Learning about one’s self is never easy, but discovering new things is always an adventure to true independence. Witch!Kol/Bella pairing.

e l i j a h x b e l l a

i. near to you by bitemytongue / t / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

A month after Edward leaves Bella, Bella is beginning to heal. She meets Elijah and with him she begins to really forget Edward and embrace who she really is. With Elijah she truly begins to love. ONE-SHOT

ii. eternal love by bitemytongue / t / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

Bella lied to everyone at Forks. She wasn’t human, she was a cupid. Most of all, she was the daughter of one of the most feared people on Earth. With less than a year to live she sets out on a trip around the world. Ending in the small town of Mystic Falls. Where she meets HIM. ONE-SHOT

iii. vegas by excentrykemuse / t / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

Alice and Rosalie take Bella to Vegas for her bachelorette. What they didn’t realize was that Bella would meet a certain Original while playing Poker … and would fall in love. Bella/Elijah

iv. an eclipse in time by lorelei candice black / m / 45-50k, multi-chaptered / complete

In New Moon,Bella goes to her grandmother’s in Mystic Falls. The war between Hybrids and Vampires is in full swing and it’s horror. Bonnie sends her back in time when the originals were human to change things. Klaus starts out evil…Will he change? Story COMPLETE

v. mystically charmed to fall by lorelei candice black / t / 110-120k, muti-chaptered / complete

Bella learns that she’s a witch after Edward leaves her. She goes to Mystic Falls to learn more with her grandmother. Set in New moon and at the end of season 1 of TVD. Evil Alice. Bella’s the Charmed kind of witch. Review:-) NOW COMPLETE

vi. a love for nature by bitemytongue / t / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

Bella has found her safe haven in New Orleans. With the help of Marcel she’s able to live a normal life, or as normal as it gets for her. She quickly meets the Mikaelsons, and with her love for children helps them with their new member Hope. This friendship will hopefully lead to love.

vii. the waltz by cuinawen / k+ / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

Second in my 'The 12 Vamps of Christmas’ series… A brief encounter at a Mikaelson party in New Orleans… One Shot.

viii. where are you now by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Bella had come to her senses, letting go of the love of her life was the worst mistake she had ever made. In an effort to find him, she leaves Edward and Forks behind. Only the hunt for her love gets postponed after she has an accident landing her in New Orleans. ONE-SHOT

j e r e m y x b e l l a

i. hunting by numbers by cuinawen / t / 2-3k, one-shot / complete

Ninth in my 'The 12 Vamps of Christmas’ series… Jeremy meets a girl at Whitmore College… she’s mysterious, quiet… and she needs his help… One Shot.

d a m o n x b e l l a

i. living on a prayer by bertie bott / t / 7-8k, one-shot / complete

Originally written for Kittyinaz’s July Writing Contest. On his death bed after Tyler’s killing bite, Damon has an out of body experience that leads him to a revelation, finally giving his eternity meaning…

ii. almost lover by bertie bott / t / 5-6k, one-shot / complete

Jasper’s honor demands he takes action. Really, he couldn’t abide sitting by watching his family smother Bella to the point of snuffing out her happiness… And if helping her also helps an old friend, then it’s any easy decision when he takes it upon himself to set her free.

iii. a reality romance by t1gercat / t / 20-25k, multi-chaptered / complete

When bad boy superstar Damon Salvatore is forced to have his own reality show to up his album sells he has to have a roommate. Who better than shy girl Bella Swan? Can the two live in peace or will their secrets tear them apart?

iv. the shortcut home by kittyinaz / m / 8-9k, one-shot / complete

A meeting one night in a dusty town changes everything. Now a man becomes a father, a woman becomes a daughter to someone who deserves her, and a love is started. Read what would happen if Twilight had started differently.

v. this left feels right by bertie bott / m / 15-20k, three-shot / complete

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball right when you need it most. Damon is asked to visit an old friend by someone he can’t say no to. When he gets to Forks, though, it’s not a family of vampires he finds waiting for him, but an angry girl who just might give his life the new direction he’s been seeking…

f i n n x b e l l a

i. all paths lead home by thedarkestfallingstar / m / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

She had given up hope of ever seeing her love again, she should have known that the fates wouldn’t be so cruel.

ii. thaw by thedarkestfallingstar / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

It was cold, the wind and rain seemed to seep to her very bones. Yet, she did not care. She was numb anyway, her heart frozen beyond repair.

iii. speechless by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Life had been hard for Bella Swan after the departure of Edward Cullen, but the rescue of a new friend changes things. Attempting to control her power, and trying to grow accustomed to her new disability Bella Swan starts a new life, and hopefully finds new love. M for Violence

h e n r i k x b e l l a

i. connected by the soul by bitemytongue / m / 120-130k, multi-chaptered / complete

With a forgetful mother and a father several states away Bella has always been on her own. That is until her eleventh birthday when she encounters her soul mate. The only problem, he’s a spirit trapped on the other side. Seventeen and moving to Forks with her father, Bella is closer to being with her soul mate,there’s always something fishy lurking around the corner. M for Violence

ii. renegade by bitemytongue / m / 15-20k, one-shot / complete / sequel- run away with me

Being stuck on the Other-side is worst than anyone could ever imagine. Being forced to watch as his family unravels before him, Henrik changes from the lovable boy he was human, to a cold and hating ghost. Meeting Bella Swan only fuels his anger for all living beings.

k a i x b e l l a

i. bring you back by meekobb / m / 5-6k, one-shot / complete

When Bella finds herself immersed deeper in the supernatural world, without any cooperation, it drives her to find help from an unlikely ally. Her loyalty to the only one who shows her any concern changes her in ways no one anticipates. Cover art by Bertie Bott.

s l a t e r x b e l l a

i. hacker’s code by bitemytongue / t / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Being a Hacker is who she is, it’s all she has left anymore. That is until Bella comes across a certain Mikaelson who uses her skill to track down his brother. Working for a Mikaelson leads her to find her equal and a true friend.

t h i e r r y x b e l l a

i. holding onto you by bitemytongue / m / 9-10k, one-shot / complete

Bella had never been without her brother for long, but she was beginning to feel the pain of his loss. She needed to find someone who could help be the family that she needed, but being rejected by her older brother was the last straw. Bella heads to the one place that reminded her most of family, only to meet someone important.

t e e n w o l f

s t i l e s x b e l l a

i. keep me warm by bitemytongue / m / 9-10k, one-shot / complete

Bella meets a boy her age who is being ignored by all his friends, and being the new kid in town means she has no one to talk to. It makes for the beginning of a beautiful friendship. One that involves, werewolves, vampires, magic, and falling in love.

i s s a c x b e l l a

i. last of the true believers by bitemytongue / t / 9-10k, one-shot / complete

Bella’s life was a bad 90’s high school movie, that is until her father takers her on a vacation around the world. Somewhere between exploring and rediscovering herself she gets a new best friend who might just also happen to be her bonded. But that doesn’t mean that have to date… not yet anyway.

j a c k s o n x b e l l a

i. give me something by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Bella needs a fresh start, one away from vampires and the overbearing weight of grief she had. She moves to Beacon Hills with her older cousin Derek, and his new found pack. She wants friends that are her own, and to be seen as just a girl and not part angel, she gets more than she ever wanted when she meets the cocky blonde haired werewolf.

h a r r y p o t t e r

s e v e r u s x b e l l a

i. dark eyes by metallicangel28 / m / 10-15k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella was a witch. A dyed in the wool, wand waving, potion brewing, broom riding witch. Not that she rode brooms. She was also Hermione’s elder cousin. After finding a dying Severus Snape in the boat house, she works her magic to heal and bring him back to life. In more ways than just physically. (Timeline altered to make Bella older than Hermione but Twilight story remains as is.)

o n c e u p o n a t i m e

p a n x b e l l a

i. flying away, back to neverland by lorelei candice black / k+ / 8-9k, one-shot / complete

Bella met Peter Pan when she was 8. She kept on coming to Neverland often at nights and grew very close to Peter Pan and the Lost boys. On her 15th birthday, she decides not to go anymore until she’s ready to stay. When she turns 18, she’s ready but will Edward let her go? One-shot. Review please?

a v e n g e r s

l o k i x b e l l a

i. my true self by desertdarkfire / k+ / >1k, one-shot / complete

She’s heard him all her life, somewhere in the shadows. He’s been waiting for her, waiting for her to awaken. What she thinks is a dream, quickly turns to reality. Who is this man? BellaxLoki AU. Based on a song challenge from a friend.

ii. god gave me you by darkestdarkfire / k / >1k, one-shot / complete

Loki takes two very big steps in his life. One of them involves Bella. What could they be? AU Oneshot fic, BellaxLoki

iii. let the stars unite us by whatarefilms / t / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Sometimes a mother just has to meddle, and this is one of the times that it’s for the good of the universe. (One shot)

s t e v e x b e l l a

i. a heaven from hell’s despair by steampunkfairytale / t / 65-70k, multi-chaptered / complete

When Charlie Swan and Sue Clearwater were murdered by Renee Dwyer, Bella Swan, reeling from the departure of the Cullens, her father’s murder and desperate to escape her psychopath mother turns to the only family she has left: Her Godfather Tony Stark. Bella/Steve. FINALLY COMPLETE!

x m e n

g a m b i t x b e l l a

i. explosive love by thedarkestfallingstar / m / 6-7k, one-shot / complete

Everyone has someone to complete them, challenge them, protect them, even someone as broken as she.

d o c t o r w h o

1 1 t h d o c t o r x b e l l a

i. is it really you? by queenvampire / k+ / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

Bella is actually another time lord, Huntress, the doctor’s soul mate. She survived, but the doctor thought she was dead, after an incident involving the tardis and a sabre toothed tiger. She lived among humans for a while, trying to find the doctor. What happens when he is put in hospital by accident, and Carlisle Cullen is treating him? Don’t own it.

p i r a t e s o f t h e c a r i b b e a n

j a c k x b e l l a

i. a caribbean soul by fanpire.x / t / 20-25k, multi-chaptered / complete

After Edward leaves, Bella goes back to her real home in the seventeenth century where her first love awaits; but what happens when seven vampires are transported there as well? *Bella/Jack - during NM, then CotBP*

l a b y r i n t h

j a r e t h x b e l l a

i. twilight in the labyrinth by metallicangel28 / m / 45-50k, multi-chaptered / complete

Bella is Sarah’s cousin, and was sent to live with Sarah’s family when Charlie believes her to be sinking farther into her depression. When Sarah makes her ill-thought out wish, Bella is taken with Toby to the castle beyond the goblin city. What will happen when Bella finds both family and love in the Underground. Set in modern times with Jareth’s 80’s clothes. Rofl Sarah bashing!

c r i m i n a l m i n d s

s p e n c e r x b e l l a

i. look after you by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Being the child of an infamous BAU agent didn’t mean anything to Bella, she was just happy to have a father. Now, at 22 she finds that she’s happy being in love with the genius Doctor Reid. Only now she hopes that she can be forever happy with him.

d e r e k x b e l l a

i. no more bad days by bitemytongue / m / 15-20k, one-shot / complete

Bella was never normal, but luckily for her she met her best friend who was just like her. She had to learn the hard way that life isn’t always going to be filled with happy memories. Her life contained bad memories, anxiety attacks, and some loneliness. That is until she gets a job at the FBI and through strange circumstance finds herself in a relationship with a certain Agent.

a a r o n x b e l l a

i. stolen by agentswan / m / 5-6k, one-shot / complete

Aaron Hotchners wife and son get kidnapped. See how he gets them back and who took them. This is for twilightvixxen. M for a reason!

v a m p i r e a c a d e m y

a d r i a n x b e l l a

i. smile by jasper’s guardian angel / t / >1k, one-shot / complete

In their darkest days they found each other and learned how to smile again. Vampire Academy/Twilight cross-over one-shot, Adrian/Bella pairing. Takes place after LS and During NM. AU

c o v e n a n t

r e i d x b e l l a

i. finding myself with you by bitemytongue / t / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Everything changed when Edward left. Bella was left broken, and after hitting rock bottom she leaves Forks to move in with her cousin Tyler. Hopefully, Ipswich will be exactly what she needs to find herself.

t y l e r x b e l l a

i. blue eyes by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Heartbroken Bella moves to be with her cousin. All she wants is a normal life, but she isn’t that lucky. Falling in love with her cousin’s best friend is only the beginning, it’s discovering she’s not who she thought she was that changes everything. All she wants is to be happy, and she realizes all she needs is her soulmate to be happy. M For Violence

ii. all i need is you by bitemytongue / m / 15-20k, one-shot / complete

After everything, leaving Forks was the best decision Bella had ever made. There was no regrets when she left to attend Harvard. For Tyler going to Harvard meant being with his best friends, only freshman year he meets the love of his existence. It’s a real shame his shyness has been holding him back from making a move. Can a math class change things? M for minor violence and such

c a l e b x b e l l a

i. better with you by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

For one it was a lonely life. A life full of sorrow and pain and an overwhelming hate for being an immortal. For the other immortality was a new beginning. A beautiful chance to live a life without sorrow and pain. Coming together they find they’re just perfect for each other, only it takes them a bit of time to realize it.

p o g u e x b e l l a

i. say you love me by bitemytongue / t / 8-9k, one-shot / complete

They met in college, two broken hearts coming together to put the pieces back together. Only after two years and a visit to Ipswich do they begin to realize, that maybe they’re meant to be more than friends. ONE-SHOT

z n a t i o n

1 0 k x b e l l a

i. no longer alone by bitemytongue / m / 10-15k, one-shot / complete

Bella Swan didn’t experience the normal zombie apocalypse. She was kidnapped just before it began, so her time was spent with vampires instead of zombie. Escaping she found her way to a small group of survivors on a mission. Keeping her secrets Bella tags along with the group only to fall in love with their quietest member. It’s strange to find love in the apocalypse M for Violence

t r u e b l o o d

g o d r i c x b e l l a

i. sweet compliance by cuinawen / t / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

Sixth in my 'The 12 Vamps of Christmas’ series… Godric isn’t the only one imprisoned by the FotS… they use an innocent human girl to force him to comply… One Shot.

ii. the rescue by velez / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

“I Do” vs. “I Do” What is your forever like? Bella Swan is about to say “I Do” but, to the wrong man. Her rescuer is an immortal 2000-year-old vampire who will go to any length to save her. Even if they have not seen each other for some time.

iii. you loved me back to life by velez / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete

From comatose to two thousand years. Godric and Bella learn to live, love and care for each other during the storm called life.

e r i c x b e l l a

i. an unexpected claim by cuinawen / m / 1-2k, one-shot / complete

First in my 'The 12 Vamps of Christmas’ series… Bella goes to Fangtasia with her cousin Sookie and the vampire Bill, and finds the experience exasperating, until she meets a certain Viking. Rated M just in case. One Shot.

a l c i d e x b e l l a

i. taming the wolf by jinx dodson / m / 120-130k, multi-chaptered / complete

“Get on.” He half growls with a slight smile. “You said it’d be as if you never existed…” He turns to her. “What’d you say baby?” She shakes her head as he looks upon her strangely. “Nevermind baby let’s go.” What happens when he doesn’t stop and Bella finds herself in Shreveport, La? With a wolf that has claims to her. (A bit of a dominating Alcide.) Read and Review. RATED Mature

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adeadratiswatching · 6 years

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Dishonored things I would still spend money on at this point if they existed:

1) more pop figures. Billie, Daud, Delilah (I'm still seriously shocked they didn't make one of her) etc.

2) A dlc where you play as Delilah and the witches. You kill people with plants, have tea parties, and the game focuses on Delilah's bitter childishness, and her relationship with the witches and working against the abbey/Empire. You are given a legitimately good reason as to why Delilah Copperspoon would be a better Empress and why she should have the throne, making you question the outcome of the second game.

3) a game where you play as Granny Rags and your morals and points of view change throughout the game and by the end you end up doing terrible things, but the game makes you believe you're doing good. Also making bone charms out of people. Good shit™

4) comics. But not with some weird action thing like they try to do and fail at. stories about basic everyday for the main characters. Small snippets of their lives.

Some ideas for such:

[

A) following the Outsider before he became god. You get a view of what the world was like 4000 years ago. You get to see what he was actually like. Good way of making your readers feel even worse for the whale god.

B) a look at Emily's early childhood and Corvo's relationship with both her and Jessamine. Learning if Emily knew he was her father all along, or if it came out at some point after the events of the first game. You also get a look at whether Corvo and Jessamine were somewhat open about their relationship or completely secret.

C) the beginning of Jessamine and Corvo forming a relationship. She was significantly younger than him when he became royal protector. It would be interesting to see how they went from tolerating each other, to actually liking each other and forming a relationship from it. The awkward beginning when they're trying to figure everything out. (Side note: Corvo's reaction to Emily being a thing would be amazing to see)

D) Delilah and Jessamine's relationship as children. How that was like and how they treated Delilah with her being an illegitimate child. Also following how Delilah's life went after she was kicked from the tower. Her mother dying, etc. How she became as power hungry and vengeful as she did.

E) Daud's childhood. What happened to him and how he was moved to follow the steps he did to become what he did. It would be interesting to learn of his mother, and his early years. Who took him. Exactly what that did to him.

F) Billie's childhood. How she met Daud, seeing that play out. Seeing her with her girlfriend, just how losing the closest person to her changed her. Seeing Daud and her's relationship change and him become closer to that of a father figure to her.

G) historical events/lore. Anything around that. Following deeper into old gods, the abbey, etc.

H) shorts with some side characters that had little role in the franchise but fan favorites. Thomas, Calista, etc.

I) the lonely rat boy. The creation of the plague.. why the Outsider marked a child. The playout of how that all came about.

]

5) a hard cover copy of a fully scribed play of either, The Young Prince Of Tyvia, The Daughter Of Tyvia, or The Heart Of The Abyss. Actually all. I want all.

#dishonored #rambles #dishonored ideas #bethesda get on this #please #someone #this is all i want #ARKANE PLEASE

143 notes · View notes

sockdreams · 7 years

Photo

13 Halloween Classics

It’s rare that we get to have a Friday the 13th, and even rarer that this ominous day falls in the same month as Halloween. To celebrate, we’re taking a tour through a number of classic Halloween creatures — thirteen, to be exact.

1. Murderers from your Nightmares

Let's start right off with this movie duo that's been haunting our thoughts, through their individual franchises, since the 1980s. Although your run-off-the-mill murderer is no laughing matter, these villains stand out. There's just no one quite like Jason Voorhees or Freddy Krueger.

2. Bats

Vampire Bat Web Net Tights * Batnado Midcalf Socks

With their nocturnal habits, shrill voices, and occasional association with blood-drinking, it’s no wonder bats have become closely associated with Halloween and all things spooky. But these little flying mammals are cute as a button when you get up close, and most just want to stay out of your hair.

3. Spiders

Itsy Bitsy Spider Net Pantyhose * Sheer Spiderweb Arm Warmers

Arachnophobia is one of the most prevalent fears, so it’s no surprise that spiders feature heavily in Halloween designs and spooky movies. Their webs are also as mesmerizing to look at as they are spine-tingling to walk through, so spiders and their homes can add a lot of atmosphere to even the least-haunted of houses.

4. Black Cats

Kitty Knee High in grey * Black Cat Opaque Sheer Anklet

Cats in general always have an air of mystery, and black cats especially are associated with witches and otherworldly presences. There’s also the superstition that black cats are a sign of bad luck if they cross your path—but we think black cats are a pretty awesome sign of the season.

5. Skeletons

Kawaii Skeleton Over the Knee Socks * Harajuku Bones Long Arm Warmers

Perhaps nothing is more Classic Halloween than a good old skeleton. A lot of people use Halloween as a time to play with the concept of mortality, so what’s a better reminder of death than a human skeleton handing out candy?

6. Mummies

Screaming Mummy Midcalf Socks * Great Whites

Similar to skeletons, mummies are likewise a reminder of mortality, and with their soulless eyes and messy, ancient bandages, they can make for a pretty terrifying monster. We’ve got some novelty socks for mummies that are more silly than spooky, but tall white scrunchy socks can also be used to approximate bandaged legs, with the right accouterments.

7. Zombies

Zombie Knee Highs * Zombie Midcalf Socks

If you thought shambling mummies were creepy, you should definitely avoid zombies—in addition to the whole Dead thing, they’ve got rotting flesh and a taste for brains, so you really don’t want to be trapped alone with one.

8. Vampires

Extra Long Satin Gloves * Deluxe Lace Topped Stockings

Although the flavor of vampire can vary some, most vampires have an air of sophistication, and tend to prefer lush velvet and lace and a decidedly vintage flair. Sometimes it can be hard to tell them apart from well-dressed humans, but the fangs are a clear giveaway.

9. Werewolves

Howl at the Moon Midcalf Socks * Zombie vs Werewolf Midcalf Socks

Unlike most of the others on this list, the humble werewolf is human most of the time, and tends to be more sympathetic. Like their canine cousins, werewolves often make good, loyal companions; you just need to work out a game-plan for That Time of the Month. If you're lucky, your werewolf friend may even go to battle for you against the undead, like in the Zombie vs. Werewolf Midcalf socks.

10. Witches and Wizards

Sorcerer Socks * Opaque Tights

Although of course not all witches are bad, their mystical nature, connection with the supernatural, and prevalence in public awareness has made them a Halloween staple. We've also seen a resurgence of witchy costumes around Halloween, since the popularity of a certain fictional wizard a few years back. Whether you’re a Wicked Witch or a Kitchen Witch, this is definitely your season.

11. Ghosts

Fantomette Printed Tights * Spirit Board Knee Highs

Although death and mortality have come up a lot on this list, nothing quite epitomizes the afterlife quite like a ghost. Some are wandering the earth, mere shells of their former selves, looking for purpose or the occasional soul to torment. Others just want to connect with their descendants, and it's definitely the right season for contacting the Other Side.

12. Clowns

Midnight Mosaics Midcalf Socks * Harlequin Dual Color Over the Knee Socks

There are many terrifying clowns, but we tend to lean more towards jokers…and their companions. Emotionally warped and intellectually devious, they sure make for great villains.

13. Frankenstein’s Monster

Frankenstein's Sockster Knee Highs

Lastly, although he maybe wasn’t what anyone—least of all the good doctor—expected, Frankenstein’s creation was definitely memorable. But maybe the term “monster” is a little too harsh.

#13 halloween classics #sock journal #friday the 13th #halloween #spooky #monsters #socks

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doomedandstoned · 6 years

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The Mighty Conan Speaks!

~By Calvin Lampert~

Photos by Elizabeth Gore

Earlier this year I had the honor of interviewing one of modern doom's spearheads, Britain’s almighty CONAN. After crushing my head for a solid hour, I sat down Jon and Chris and a ringing pair of ears to talk about their favorite songs to play live, the state of the scene, and bonding with your family through video games.

Man Is Myth (Early Demos) by Conan

So, how are you guys doing today?

Jon: Good. Thank you!

Chris: Good!

: How has the tour been so far for you?

Jon: Uh, progressively warmer. We’ve been all over the place, driving from one end of Europe to the other.

So this is something I commended you for: you've got this, dare I say, relatively “simple” approach to music, yet you manage to keep it interesting. How do you do it?

Jon: Well, we do change the band members in between albums. (laughs) I don’t really think there is some magic to it. Some of it is skill, I’ll say. We do make a conscientious effort to write music that is different than what we did previously. We want our music to be complimentary, not just a copy. We see each other quite a lot, we sit together, and talk.

Chris: We all live in the same area. I’m pretty much always at Skyhammer [Jon and Chris’ renowned studio] since that’s where I work, and Jon lives there.

Jon: And, well Rich [Lewis, ex-drummer as of August 2017] lives in Cardiff, but we get together often.

Photo by Sally Townsend

Which makes me wonder, Jon, are you involved in any of the studio work?

Jon: No, not really.

Chris: Jon makes me a cup of coffee.

Okay, let’s talk lyrics. The title track off your last record was a bit different from the kind of “swordcery” stuff you usually do. A lot more negative in tone, less reliant on the fantasy themes. Is that something you wanna continue in the future?

Jon: Well, it’s actually still written in the same world as the rest of the songs and it’s not personal, we just wanted to flip the world around. Everything so far was about triumph and victory, and we felt like changing up things. Maybe we’ll continue with it in the future. It was enjoyable to write that song.

One more noticeable change with 'Revengeance' was how different the pacing was. Did you choose Rich deliberately since you were trying to write faster stuff, or did that happen naturally once he was in the band?

Jon: I don’t think we did deliberately.

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And what is your favorite song to play live?

Jon: Well at the moment I guess me and Chris will both agree on "Thunderhoof." It was such a fun song to write too, it’s essentially a hymn to our old touring van and the lyrics pretty much describe us driving to a show and playing on stage. You know, mounting the horse's back, battle hammer in hand.

Man, I loved "Thunderhoof." It was probably my favorite song off 'Revengeance.' Can you tell me a bit about DOS, your new side project?

Jon:Well, we recorded one full length demo. The idea behind DOS is to create music that is more stripped down than Conan.

Oh, so it is a drone record?

Jon: Yeah. Conan could’ve gone in one of two directions and it obviously went into the one it is right now, but the energy I had back then could’ve also been channeled into something slower like drone. I was happy with the direction that Conan was going, but I still had the urge to try out the slow stuff. I got together with Kurokuma’s drummer, Joe E. Allen, in the studio to write really simple, heavy songs.

I initially assumed that DOS, based on the name and logo, would be some kind of dungeon synth thing, but Joe was fast to correct me on that. It still leaves curious about the story behind the name and logo, though.

Jon: Well, I’m not 100% sure yet if I will include them, but the lyrics and themes of DOS obviously center around videogames and all that. MS DOS, you know.

One of my friends really wanted to know more about your gear. What kind of strings and tuning do you use?

Jon: We tune to dropped F and the guitar tuning is F, C, F, A#, D, G. Bass is F, C, F, A#. On the guitar I use a D'Addario .8 bottom string and then the next five string are the first five strongs of a set of GHS Boomers, I think some special edition -- the Axl Rose set (laughs) -- and I use them on my Gibson Les Paul. I got the Les Paul in a deal when I swapped an amplifier. Then we took it on tour and I fell in love with it. I said, "This sounds really nice."

You’ve turned into quite a businessman over the years with Black Bow, Skyhammer, Atlantean Merch and Conan. At what point did you realize that you could make a living from music?

Jon: Well, I definitely couldn’t make a living just out of Conan. Conan is more of a hobby now, I would say, but with everything added together we get by fine. I gave up on a well-paid job so I could play music. Of course, some wanker will say I gave up a well-paid job so I could play music. I’m really happy I made that choice, because it means I also get to spend more time with my family and kids. I think you should diversify in your life.

Photo by Sally Townsend

And how do you keep yourself level-headed? There must be so much stuff going on with the label, Conan and Skyhammer.

Jon: Oh, I am definitely not levelheaded! Everybody will tell you that I am the most impulsive, annoying person around. I have more ideas than I have shits in a week, and not many of them come to fruition. There was a time not so long ago when I said to Chris: “You know what, I wanna become a mastering engineer.” And within 24 hours I decided to scrap that plan. I would’ve been the worst master engineer ever, and I got tinnitus.

Suppose that’s inevitable when you play that kind of music. Speaking of which, besides metal and all, what else do you listen to?

Jon: Well, all sorts, pop, acoustic stuff.

Chris: I do enjoy some folk and jazz on the side.

I wanted to get back to the lyrics again. Is there any franchise, game, movie, book whatever that you’d love to write a song about in the future?

Jon: Oh, there’s tons of games. Shinobi. Ghosts n’ Goblins. Strider for the Sega Megadrive. There’s millions of games that I could work with.

Chris: RoadRash.

Oh, that would be glorious!

Jon: (laughs) And of course Sonic the Hedgehog. We haven’t really done anything on Altered Beast yet, so that one’s probably going to happen.

Ah, wasn’t that the name you used to play a secret show in Paris?

Jon: Yeah, exactly!

Photo by Sally Townsend

And so far, how many of your songs have been inspired by games?

Jon: Off the new album, Wrath Gauntlet definitely is, some lines in Throne of Fire. Altogether probably 15% of our music. We’re mostly inspired by the scenes in the games.

And what do you play?

Jon: Well, Skyrim all the time. My son and I, we text each other all the time: “Have you got that sword or done that quest?” It’s great to connect and have a part of my life that is on exact the same level as his. I really value that time. I got the new Gauntlet one the PS4, that one’s a lot of fun.

Calvin: That’s awesome! I’ve spent countless hours amassing unique weapons and armor in Skyrim, I’m a lootwhore myself. Alright, this question is a bit different, but I always get some great answers: If you were a demon, which five objects would one have to place in a pentagram to summon you?

Chris: Well for me, first of something related to motorbikes. Maybe throw a guitar in as well. I love me some bikes.

Jon: In direct contrast to that: a leper's hand, a book written by a dying man, the first and third toes from a liar.

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Film by Billy Goate

So, what’s in store for Conan in the future? When can we expect a new record?

Jon: Early next year hopefully.

And where do you see Conan in five years?

Jon: Ideally, we will still tour, play cool show, write good music and hopefully still enjoy it, regardless whether the scene is still popular or not.

Which brings me to my next question: What’s your take on the state of the scene? Do you think the boom will continue?

Jon: I think it won’t last much longer for some bands. These bands get pushed upon people and they’re not that good. They think they’re cool, they think they fit into the genre, when in fact they do not. As soon as the trend moves on, so will these bands. There’s a lot of people that latch on due to the popularity of this sort of music, and it’s not just bands, it’s also managers and the likes, flying around like flies around a pile of shit; letting a lot of people down, messing with their futures. It’s annoying, and hopefully when this sort of music may still be popular but less trendy a lot of these people will go and do something else. We don’t really need them.

Photo by Sally Townsend

What are some smaller bands, maybe from your own regional scene that you think people should check out?

Chris: Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard from Wales. They're really good. I think that band, they're taking the blueprint sort of thing and putting a different spin on it. They've got good riffs, but the other thing they bring to it is the vocals -- they're really, really interesting. They're a really good band.

Jon: Boss Keloid is pretty cool, too. Slomatics, you probably know about them. You've got Drought, as well, with Conan's ex-bass player, Phil.

Chris: Iron Witch.

Jon: Biggus Riffus -- they're probably one of the heaviest band we've played with.

Chris: I feel bad for not being able to remember more right at this moment.

Jon: One More Victim. I like to call it cakedown instead of breakdown, because it is so heavy. And so many more bands that I cannot think of right now. Tons of great stuff you can find through the web nowadays.

Photo by Sally Townsend

I love me some Boss Keloid and Slomatics. Alright, one last question, a cheesy one. If you were to ride into battle, what would be your weapon of choice, and which beast would you mount?

Jon: I would ride into battle on a pogo-stick made of mammoth spines. And my weapon of choice would be a razor-sharp spiders net which I would use to penetrate people through the face.

Chris: I would probably surf in on the back of an eagle, and the eagle is on fire, and I would use a massive sword that is forged from the heart of a volcano, since I wanna keep it simple.

Sounds like a very effective way to strike terror in the hearts of your enemies.

Chris: I probably would have to wear some sort of fire-proof clothing.

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kingofbluebell · 7 years

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Top Physical Anime Releases of 2016

I wish I could spend this entire month making "Best of the Year" lists for 2016, but unfortunately, it would be disingenuous to do so. Most of the media I consumed this year was either older or just not strong enough for me to promote. However, there is a year-end list that is entirely made up of content not released in 2016 I consumed that I can put out: A List of my "Ten Favorite Anime Home Video Releases". That’s an overly specific title, but pedantry is something that comes with the territory. I am by no means an expert in the field of disk encoding nor would I say I’m well versed in all the goings on with the way anime is distributed, this is just a list containing the anime I was happy to see got a release or a re-release this year with a few honorable mentions. I’m also limiting this list to North American releases, only because I have even less knowledge of other regions' anime markets. Since this post is rather long, I’ve provided a list of the anime I’m going to cover here making it easier for you to search for a particular title.

Table of Contents

Shirobako (Honorable Mention)

Maria the Virgin Witch (Honorable Mention)

Otaku no Video

Belladonna of Sadness

Gundam Thunderbolt

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

Dai-Guard

The Vision of Escaflowne

Dennou Coil

Only Yesterday

Getter Robo Armageddon

Sword of the Stranger

Shirobako: As impressive as this show is I wouldn't call the anemic release it got this year a must buy. A shame as the release and popularity of Shirobako in the West has aided in the significant change happening to the western anime fandom in recent years. The show opened a lot of eyes to the struggles inherent in creating anime, leading to a greater appreciation of the medium as a whole. I've seen it spur on people already present in a community branch out and diversify the type of content and critique that gets produced about the medium. These claims may be a bit unsubstantiated, but I’ve known a lot of people who after watching and enjoying Shirobako got a fire lit under them to really dive in and give back to the community/industry more than they had before. The knowledgeable and passionate members of our community are creating more content than ever that help breaks down the barriers between consumers and creators that appeared to exist for decades. Slowly we’re coming together to support these fans turned scholars and the medium of anime more and I can’t wait to see what 2017 brings to the table in this way. Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, my hyperbolic statements about Shriobako and what it may or may not have done for this community aren't reflected in this two-part Sentai Filmworks release (nor could they ever realistically be). With the show available to stream currently on Crunchyroll as well as Sentai’s oft-forgotten The Anime Network and its license nowhere near close to expiring this is a show you don’t need to run out and buy immediately. Frankly, if you’re still fanatical about the show you probably bought a bunch of character goods or the second pressing of the Japanese Blu-rays. I bought this domestic release an impulse buy because Amazon has decent pre-order discount and I had the leftovers of a birthday gift card. For everyone else who wants to buy I suggest you wait until Sentai inevitably releases a complete series set.

Maria the Virgin Witch: Another impulse buy, this the result of a Rightstuf.com holiday sale daily deal, but one I’m less regretful supporting early. What pushed me over the edge to buy it is because I am almost certain this gem of the Winter 2015 season will continue to be overlooked. It may be in part due to its title or the fact that a lot of anime fans tend to check out during the winter season. Either way, this show about a witch in an alternate history version of a European conflict is far more engaging and endearing than the one that aired in 2016 (though those are the only similarities between Maria and Izetta I swear). I want to talk about this show for the blog this year, so I don’t want to spoil too much. I will say that you can currently stream it through Funimation or Hulu and with Funimation’s partnership with Crunchyroll I’m sure it will enter their catalog as well next year (which would be a good time to release whatever I’ve written about it). Until then this show is destined to reach Funimation’s S.A.V.E. line in the coming years as a lot of good shows, unfortunately, do in this era of overwhelmingly huge anime seasons.

Otaku no Video: Probably the most impressive complete package I bought this year, Animeigo’s remaster of this classic OVA/Live-Action documentary by studio Gainax is pure shelf candy. I had slept on their remastering of Bubblegum Crisis, but I was enthusiastic in backing their second Kickstarter to give this essential commentary on fan culture the high-definition treatment it deserved. This limited edition comes in a solid chipboard box and includes an 180+ artbook on top of the additional audio commentaries, liner notes and three language tracks provided in the standard Blu-ray release. Though OVA itself looks better than it ever has the documentary, being not shot on 35mm film, looks decidedly more dated but less compressed than it did on the older DVD release. Robert Woodhead and everyone involved deserve high praise for the package they put together, and I would suggest any anime collector to grab the standard Blu-ray copy if they are the least bit interested. While I came from the generation of anime fans that grew after this project, I still find the topics it brings up relevant to fan culture today. There are numerous anime now that star “Otaku” now but the reasoning for almost all of those shows to do so is purely self-referential. The main character/characters are “Otaku” because the writer is one, and it gives them carte blanche to so how genre savvy they are to their majority otaku audience. Very few of these shows tackle the issues brought up about fan culture, and instead the "Otaku" character archetype has become so emblematic that it’s almost become a necessary cliche for a lot of writers to fall back on. So when I see shows that set out to address fan culture it makes me elated to watch. Shows like Genshiken, Welcome to the N.H.K. Comic Party and even Lucky Star to an extent come from a more genuine place. Whether this place is a more critical or celebratory doesn’t matter to me as it does to a lot of other fans and Otaku no Video clear cut between the fun-loving OVA and the far more sobering documentary may turn off some viewers. Sure both halves aren’t as seamlessly melded together as in later series but they are two halves of an essential whole, and I urge you to watch both if you haven't to gain the full experience.

Belladonna of Sadness: I adore this film and relish in its beautiful restoration, but I’m at a loss for words with how to sell it to those not already in the know. Conceptually Belladonna of Sadness your straightforward rape revenge story but its presentation is anything but, not only in the realm of anime but animation as a whole. Belladonna is the final of the three Animerama films made by Osamu Tezuka’s Mushi Productions, a project that aimed to create more adult-oriented animation. It’s by far the shortest of the three films and, from what I believe is due in part to Tezuka’s lack of involvement, by far the most serious. Still, it shares the trilogy's real sense of wanting to experiment with animation on top of showcasing more mature storylines. Belladonna tale is shown through ornate watercolor stills, their elegance worthy of presenting in any art gallery. Despite showcasing limited animation for an animated feature the use of these still images through cinematography manages to make its tale no less poignant. However, in movement Belladonna is a surreal journey unlike anything on celluloid. The closest comparison I have are some of the films of Ralph Bakshi but even the most psychedelic of his sequences appear far more grounded than Belladonna’s phallic parade. The use of color and sound in these moments would be electrifying by themselves, but given the stationary nature of the film these energetic and unearthly sequences stand out even more. Despite all my praise, I understand that not everyone is as willing as I am to watch a 1970s, experimental, anime rape-revenge flick that is made up of mostly watercolor paintings let alone run out to purchase it. Luckily Amazon has it for streaming for Prime members so if you’d like to try it before adding it to your collection or just want to watch something daringly different be my guest.

Gundam Thunderbolt: In a year where Nozomi was putting out a Gundam release every month, fans of the long time mecha franchise, such as myself, were downright spoiled for choice when it came to collecting the series on home video. If I was a more die-hard fan I could have made a list consisting of almost nothing but Gundam titles, but I decided to have one release represent the franchise this year. I could have chosen traditional favorites such as Zeta Gundam, 0080 War in the Pocket or Char’s Counterattack. The oft-maligned ZZ Gundam or underrated series like Victory Gundam and After War Gundam X, surprising newcomers in Gundam Build Fighters and Gundam Build Fighters Try are also appealing buys. The glorious trainwreck known as Reconguista in G was at points calling my name to defend it here and if I really wanted to send I could have even chosen the excellent adaptation of Gundam: The Origin which came in some lavishly designed art boxes. However, if I had purchased all of these this year, even taking advantage of every sale and discount possible, I’d have been downright broke. Besides, I have a much better candidate. Gundam Thunderbolt December Sky, the compilation of the previously released four episodes, is probably the biggest piece of fanservice anime I’ve seen so far this decade. From the action choreography to the mechanical design and fluid animation all nestled in a dour military plot where neither side is the clearly in the right: This is the stuff of Gundam fans' dreams. Thunderbolt demands to be viewed in the highest definition possible, its excellent jazz soundtrack and overall sound design pleading for an appropriate surround system and this minimalistic Blu-ray release doesn't disappoint on that front. Where it does, however, is in the included dub. A dub little to most Gundam fans, especially those willing to import a Blu-ray movie, but after coming off one of the best dubs this decade, Gundam Unicorn, this is a real letdown. I’m sure this will still go over well when this eventually airs on Toonami, but I think this could have been casted a lot better. As of this writing, Gundam Thunderbolt isn’t legally streaming anymore, but hopefully when the planned second season comes out, the original will be made available either through streaming or a domestically released Blu-ray. It may be too much to ask most people to shell out for, but this right here is one of the best looking series this decade. Truly a high point for anime and animation in general. Plus one of the leaflets included in this box announces the Japanese release date for the Mobile Fighter G Gundam Blu-rays, which means they can’t be too far out from releasing domestically. I can’t wait to experience that beautifully godawful dub again, this time in high definition.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time: Shinkai’s first non-franchise film initially came to the West with far less fanfare as his name carries now. Sure there were fans of Digimon Adventure: Our War Game! And One Piece Film 6: Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island but the cultural cache behind the director's name hadn’t exploded yet. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time changed that and probably lead to Funimation’s decision to pick up the rights and heavily market his next film Summer Wars, a film which increased his level of notoriety to the point where people began calling him “The Next Miyazaki”. While still beloved post Summer Wars, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time had the unfortunate distinction of being one of the last anime Bandai Visual had licensed before they closed up shop. The film’s popularity combined with the small print run the Blu-ray received lead to massive price gouging on the secondhand market even for the more readily available DVD copy. Having already acquired the rights to Summer Wars, Wolf Children, and the then upcoming The Boy and the Beast it seemed clear to everyone that a Funimation relicense of this film wasn’t far off. In the meantime, many in the collecting community decided to purchase the frankly stunning South Korean Blu-ray set, though others including myself waited for a far cheaper domestic copy. I bought the standard release although Funimation released a limited edition version as well that I hear doesn't compare favorably when up against the previously mentioned South Korean release. Either way, this major film from a now well-established director has finally been made available again so it can reach the wider audience he has now. Funimation’s release comes with a number of extras on the disks the most valuable being the two interviews with Hosoda. The Girl Who Leapt Through Time might not be in my upper echelon of anime films, but it’s certainly one I enjoy on occasion, even with my general lack of interest in time travel and I'm glad to have it back in my collection in an affordable higher fidelity.

Dai-Guard: In this modern era of anime where new giant robot shows, outside Gundam, are infrequent it sure was kind of Discotek Media to redistribute this forgotten title in the genre. Imagine if events similar to those in Neon Genesis Evangelion occurred except that N.E.R.V. was not a ludicrously well-funded organization and instead had a budget similar to many of our real-life underfunded government organizations. Yes, the angel-like, amorphous threat known as the Heterodyne have returned after humanity's destructive confrontation with them twelves years prior but the only weapon capable of defeating them, the robot Dai-Guard, has seen better days. Now used as a mascot for the military Dai-Guard is barely able to make it through a battle without falling apart. This somewhat more comedic take on alien lifeforms set to destroy earth is one of the many things that set Dai-Guard apart from the many anime the share its premise. Unlike a lot of those anime, however, Dai-Guard is piloted by three people and their conflicting personalities and interpersonal stories, along with those of the rest of the 21st Century Defense Security Corporation add a lot of the flavor and weight to the series. The ensemble cast is what makes Dai-Guard more than your average giant robot show and anyone who's been a fan of office comedies, both in and outside anime, in the past decade will find a lot to enjoy here. Dai-Guard itself, while not the most memorable robot in anime history, is well designed and its signature weapons lead to some very well done fights. This show's more light-hearted tone acts as a nice reprieve in between watching more heady programming, for example, I decided to give this show a rewatch after watching Casshern Sins, and it worked wonderfully as a palate cleanser. As always Discotek does an excellent job maintaining the quality of the original release as well as shipping it in solid packaging. The original dub from the ADV release is here and is on par with what they usually produced back in those days. Overall Dai-Guard isn’t the flashiest show, but much like its titular robot it manages to hold itself together to deliver a satisfying punch to fans of a currently underserved genre.

The Vision of Escaflowne: There was and still is a lot of drama in the anime collectors community surrounding the re-release of this well-loved anime from Sunrise. Funimation’s successful Kickstarter to redub the series was already showing warning signs before funding ended and their handling of the aftermath left a lot of people with a bad taste in their mouths. Needless to say, I doubt they’ll consider using crowdfunding again. I was unable to back the project and therefore I wasn’t privy to a lot of the discussion that took place about it. From what I managed to glean, unfortunately, it looks like an actual resolution hasn’t been met which is a shame that will continue cloud this release. Escaflowne was a huge deal in the western anime fandom upon its initial release and while it’s time in the limelight isn’t as constant as its contemporary Cowboy Bebop it is by no means a show that has aged poorly. Sunrise did an excellent job remastering this title in the Japanese release a few years ago, and the show has never looked better. I’m a bit biased toward the style of the show, being a huge fan of Nobuteru Yuki’s character designs since Chrono Cross, and when you add giant robots into the mix, you have a show that hits me right in the sweet spot. Top it all off with one of Yoko Kanno’s most celebrated scores, and you have a series poised to remain a staple in the western anime fandom for decades to come. As far as the new dub is concerned, it is certainly more up to the standards of new anime dubbing than the original, included with Bandai’s release. I never had a fondness for the original, so I can’t say I miss it. Nevertheless, I’ll still be sticking to the original Japanese for this show, unlike so many other Sunrise shows from this period. If this new dub is capable of bringing in more modern fans to enjoy this classic, then I am all for it supplanting the old one. I’m a bit disheartened that due to the new dub Funimation decided to split the series initially like they do with a lot of their newer acquisitions of similar length. They could have charged the combined price and kept everything in one box, but I guess that’ll happen when this show gets reprinted for their Anime Classics line. In the end, I’m for more people viewing this stunning show however possible either through purchasing these physical sets or streaming through Funimation and hopefully Crunchyroll sometime this year. Despite all of the mishegas, I’m glad to add this series again to my collection. However, I decided not to purchase Escaflowne: The Movie. The movie itself is an odd duck, being a pseudo-compilation movie that also alters many characters and events not just for the sake of time. I tend to find a lot of these movies rather substandard, the exception being The Adolescence of Utena which I have grown to enjoy over time and will be pleased to repurchase along with the rest of the series on Blu-ray in 2017. As for Escaflowne: The Movie I may pick it up for the sake of completion but only further down the road when it’s discounted.

Den-Noh Coil: 2016 was going to be the year that I began importing a lot of anime as domestic licensers were either slow or unable to distribute the shows I wanted. Many these series were made available by Australian publisher Siren Visual, whom I’ve purchased from before to get my copy of Welcome to Irabu’s Office. Luckily Sentai Filmworks stepped in to begin distributing a handful of Siren's catalog in Region A including this one (now if only they or anyone would license Monster or Kaiba). Den-Noh Coil had been a show that struck a chord with me when I found it online in 2008 and was one of the big things I shared with my college anime club when I was asked to run nights. I held out hope that the show would officially available in English, but that wish and the little fanfare the show received subsided as the years continued. It’s a shame the series and its talented creator Mitsuo Iso haven’t become household names, and I’m hoping this late release can help restart the conversation about both. What surprised me most about this release from Sentai Filmwork’s Maiden Japan imprint is that they decided to dub it, and I honestly think it isn’t half bad. I rewatched the first handful of episodes dubbed and while North America’s limited anime VA talent limits it (as it does almost every modern dub) I’d hazard to say it tops Maria the Virgin Witch’s for my personal choice for best dub of the year. Unlike Maria’s I find the dubbing of this show far more important as I genuinely think this is a good show for younger children. The kids in this show look and act like kids and while it gets a bit dark in places there is nothing here that I think would frighten kids more than the cavalcade of horrors I saw growing up watching Don Bluth movies. I also see this show as a good candidate to ease your older friends and family into anime as there isn’t anything here I’d consider objectionable or embarrassing. Besides, a lot of the concepts in this show are moving far closer to the realm of possibility than they were a decade ago. Wearable computers, virtual reality and the omnipresence of technology and how it meshes with where we live are far more relevant topics than they ever were in 2007 due to how tangible all these ideas are to us now especially with kids who grew up only knowing smartphones and tablets. I’m glad I got to revisit this show recently, and I’m hoping more people do in the coming years so I can talk about it with someone. It’s only available to stream through The Anime Network for now but hopefully, some other site (Crunchyroll) will be able acquire it as well.

Only Yesterday: It makes sense that this would be the last of the major Studio Ghibli films to see release in North America. A movie about the growing ennui of a late 20-something business woman isn’t something you can easily sell to kids, especially when there isn’t a randomly inserted fantasy sequence such as with the similarly tonal Whisper of the Heart. Still, as I hasten to reach the age of our protagonist Taeko Okajima I’ve only found this film more relatable and it has managed to climb the ranks of my personal “Ghibli Hierarchy”. There was a lot of buzz around this Disney dub starring The Force Awakens' lead Daisy Ridley, but I can’t say I’ve listened to this one yet. I can assure you that the mixed reactions I've heard and read from a lot of people haven't affected my decision to do so. My reasoning for not listening to it is rather simple: I don't want to watch a film grounded in 1980s Japan with English voices. The dub is there for those who want it, and if it manages to get more people to see this movie, then it was worth making. Only Yesterday is a fantastic film worthy of placement in your collection alone, but the over 40-minute making-of documentary included in its extra features make it a must buy for anyone interested in animation production or Studio Ghibli. Not only does this cover a lot of the movie's unique production aspects of the film but the culture of Studio Ghibli at the turn of the decade. Being filmed around Only Yesterday’s 1991 release this is relatively early in the studio’s life, so it’s an excellent snapshot of this period. Being one of Takahata's films we see a great deal of him and his worth ethic both in animation directing and with running the studio, something we, unfortunately, don’t get a lot of due to the cult of personality surrounding Hayao Miyazaki. Of course, Miyazaki is prominently featured here, as well, and this being the early 90s he’s relatively less cynical. Being able to own this documentary that I’ve watched for a number of years is great, and I’m thankful the folks at Disney went out of their way to acquire it again for this release. It's a sizable contribution that makes an already great package truly stellar.

Getter Robo: Armageddon: I tend to have horrible luck when it comes to purchasing old media. Most times I buy something that’s long out of print it gets announced for a re-release within the next few weeks. Getter Robo: Armageddon would surely have been another one of those cases had I not checked Facebook to see Discotek Media’s announcement. I used to show this one as well in my college anime club, and a lot of the folks who were Gurren Lagann fans ate it up. For months I had been waiting for this action-packed OVA to be released in high definition, getting jealous of those who attended summer cons grabbing and early print copies. This gritty, high-octane giant robot show is an enjoyable romp from beginning to end. The remaster not only makes the colors pop, but the improved sound makes all the action scenes for me, that and most of the episodes starting with the second opening HEATS doesn’t hurt either. This entire series scratches that itch for hot-blooded fun and looks marvelous doing it. I’m always happy to support a company like Discotek because time and again they release quality products and Getter Robo: Armageddon is no exception. After the anime crash in the late 2000s, I thought a company like Discotek that only licensed older anime would be a flash in the pan. With every box set and movie, I buy from them I'm reminded how wrong I was in my assumption. Their 2017 lineup is already looking stellar and the fact they announce new licenses almost every other month shows how strong they’ve become.

Sword of the Stranger: You might wonder why I’ve taken a photo of the older Bandai release instead of Funimation’s recent reprinting. This is because despite the Funimation release getting a dub I didn’t feel the need to rebuy something I already owned on Blu-Ray. I’ve heard the dub is fair and the extra features are nice, but neither are spectacular enough for me to double dip so early. Nevertheless, I wanted to bring attention to this great action film’s re-release and if you read until this point in the post you know I’ve already spent my fair share on anime this year so cut me some slack. Sword of the Stranger one of the first names brought up when anime fans want to showcase a great action scene. The choreography the folks at Studio Bones nailed down here is outstanding and worthy of any action showcase. Fans of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood should be elated in finally getting access to this movie again as that series owes a lot to the style of action created for this film. Not only that but the film as a whole is a solid feature: a simple samurai story told well. There isn’t anything revolutionary going on here plotwise, and the characters are familiar archetypes though not to a fault. It isn’t trying to deconstruct its themes and characters for critique. Rather it comes off as a slick action movie that effortless falls into the greater chanbara canon. I appreciate this film's simplistic approach. It makes for easy sharing with friends and family who don’t usually watch a lot of anime. Sometimes all I want is a good self-contained action movie and Sword of the Stranger delivers and then some even a decade later. My only reservation about picking this one up now is that somehow Funimation failed to include subtitles for the Chinese dialogue, something included in the Bandai release I own. I'm hoping that with the release being so recent and the mistake pointed out that it will be fixed in newer pressings and that those who picked it up early can get exchanges. Maybe 2017 will be the year Funimation also revamps its attitude toward quality assurance? Here's hoping because I'd hate for a great film like this to be dragged down by an easily fixed mistake.

By now I’ve written more than enough about the anime on home video (re)published in 2016. Not only that but some well-beloved classic titles have already been announced for release (again) next year. Featuring plenty of Gundam, Revolutionary Girl Utena Blu-Rays, Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer, Captain Harlock: Arcadia of my Youth and if we're lucky more popular Sunrise shows. 2017 looks to be an even better year for those of us who relish in collecting disks and I'll be there, my bank account willing, ready to enjoy it.

See you next week.

#the vision of escaflowne #only yesterday #gundam thunderbolt #the girl who leapt through time #shirobako #maria the virgin witch #den-noh coil #sword of the stranger #da-guard #gundam #getter robo armageddon #getter robo #belladonna of sadness #otaku no video #anime

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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The Best Anime Friendships That Started As Anything But!

Have you ever just looked at a good friend and wondered how you first met, or at what point you leveled up from casual acquaintances to someone you’d actually want to have a drink with, even if they weren’t paying? International Friendship Day is all about celebrating those wonderful people who enrich our lives, but even if you’re not exactly besties right now, you may find yourself celebrating this day with them next year! How do we know? Well, anime of course! So to help motivate you into extending or accepting that olive branch to come, here’s our pick of the best friends in anime, who were once anything but!

Mami and Charlotte (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

We all know someone who’s constantly at our throat over one thing or another, but hopefully they’ll never be quite as literal as these two! Mami was just a Magical Girl devoted to saving people from witches, and Charlotte was her prey. Mami bit off more than she could chew however, when a journey into the witch’s labyrinth gave her potential proteges a front-row view of her noggin getting more than a friendly nibble…

You may also sometimes wish you could change the past and see how differently things could have gone, and if Rebellion is anything to go by—it could be very different! In Rebellion, the two room together and act like old, cherished friends— and Mami even comes to her rescue! So really, what's a decapitation or two between besties? (Just... don't try it at home, okay?).

Chris Yukine and the Wielders (Symphogear)

Poor Chris hasn’t had an easy life. After being kidnapped in a civil war and sold into slavery, she thought she’s finally found someone who cared for her in Finé. When the cruel villain grew fixated with Hibiki however, Chris’ fear of abandonment turned to jealousy, and a burning desire to kill the punchy protagonist.

To Hibiki’s credit, she never wanted to fight Chris. It took a while, but after learning Finé’s true nature, she joined forces with her former target. Hibiki’s bubbly personality was infectious, and now their relationship is no longer defined by a desire to kill, but more annoyed embarrassment when Hibiki won’t stop bringing up the birthday present she bought her!

That isn’t where Chris’ changing relationships end, however! Kirika and Shirabe were introduced as villains in Symphogear G and they crossed paths with Chris many times, but when they joined forces, these youngsters needed someone to look up to. While reluctant to take that role at first, Chris has gone from trying to shoot them, to being a sort-of big sister in her new family, which is pretty darn adorable to see.

Naruto and Sasuke (Naruto)

To say these two have history may be a bit of an understatement. While Sasuke’s now the Hokage’s right-hand man and trusted with everything from gathering top-secret intel to training Naruto’s son, the two couldn’t stand the sight of each other as kids! When it comes down to it, they were jealous of each other. The ostracized prankster Naruto envied the cool Sasuke’s popularity at the academy, while Sasuke’s jealousy of Naruto’s growth as a shinobi mixed with issues stemming from his past, and… yeah, it’s complicated.

However, even after Sasuke defected to Orochimaru, became consumed by revenge, and that small matter of attempting to assassinate the Five Kage, Naruto never gave up on him. He knew they had more similarities than either would care to admit, and his persistence prevailed—Sasuke returned to Konoha, and they’re now the friends they should have always been.

Ash and Pikachu (Pokémon)

The relationship between people and Pokémon has always been integral to every part of the vast multimedia franchise, and for over 12 years, Ash Ketchum and his partner Pikachu have been the ideal example to strive for. Together, they’ve journeyed across unfamiliar lands, experienced the joy of victory and pain of defeat, and Pikachu’s tears even once helped bring Ash back to life. However, they weren’t always that close…

Pikachu wasn’t Ash’s first, second, or even third choice for his starter Pokémon—oversleeping just meant all the others went to more punctual newbies. So Ash was reluctantly given a disobedient Pikachu who’d rather electrocute everyone and be dragged by a rope than listen to anyone. When Ash stood between an injured Pikachu and a flock of thoroughly ticked off Spearow, Pikachu realised just how much Ash cared for him, and they’ve been best buds ever since.

Shoko and Shoya (A Silent Voice)

Sometimes, we do or say things to people that years later, we regret. While the passage of time can give us perspective, it can make reconciliation seem inappropriate or impossible. However, if you honestly own up to your mistakes, and if they’re willing to forgive, it can lead to a truly beautiful friendship. Shoya bullied Shoko in elementary school because she’s deaf. It went so far that she had to move schools, and then the class turned on Shoya. Battling depression years later, he learned sign language and met Shoko in hopes of forgiveness, and found something far more important instead.

The two became invaluable emotional support for each other as they overcame their own struggles, and even helped form a friendship group once considered impossible. While we know Shoko has romantic feelings for Shoya, and it’s debatable whether A Silent Voice is ultimately a romance, their budding friendship is without a doubt one of the most important in anime!

So don’t forget to let your friends know just how much you appreciate them this International Friendship Day, and even if someone isn’t a buddy right now, if you try hard enough, who’s to say who’ll you be spending this day with next year?

Who are your favorite best friends in anime? Let us know in the comments!

Josh A. Stevens is a freelance PR with anime industry experience, and a writer at Anime UK News. You can follow him on Twitter @Joshawott.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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samanthasroberts · 5 years

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5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Easter eggs aren’t just the delicious chocolate treats Jesus brought back from the afterlife. They’re also hidden tidbits of awesomeness for those patient enough to look in places like video games and DVDs (those pancake-shaped movie things we all used to love). Well, as it happens, even our crappy old planet has some fun pop culture goodies tucked away. Luckily for you, we’re here to save you the trouble of aimlessly wandering the globe, and simply tell you about how …

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

One doesn’t typically encounter Star Wars props out in the wild, unless you count a food court as the wild and George Lucas as a prop. But thanks to social media’s ever-watchful, Sauron-like eye on our world, fans have spotted a full-sized X-Wing chilling in a random backyard, like some alternate version of The Last Jedi wherein Luke eschewed squatting in a filthy hut on an rocky island for sipping G&Ts poolside at a swank country estate.

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Reddit users also shared photos of the iconic spacecraft, housed on private property in Oakton, Virginia. Since Star Wars enthusiasts aren’t known for their tact and reserve (see: Mark Hamill’s monthly Purell bill), some fans hiked out there to get a closer look. They at least kept a safe distance so as not to alert the homeowner’s security, which is presumably some kind of Rancor.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

It isn’t clear whether the ship is a fan-made replica or a priceless original prop that’s being left out in the rain, kind of the nerd equivalent of lighting a cigar with a $100 bill. But until the day garden gnomes pool their resources to take down a moon-sized battle station, it’s the coolest lawn ornament around.

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Movie monsters are typically found on the big screen, in the nightmares of children, and sometimes awkwardly popping by the occasional hip-hop video. So you can imagine it would be pretty unnerving to stumble across one in real life. Especially if it’s somewhere completely unexpected. Like, say, at the bottom of a lake.

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Yes, that’s everyone’s favorite hockey enthusiast turned undead murder fiend Jason Voorhees, best known for the Friday The 13th franchise. And while you might think that after seeing him in lame talk show appearances and myriad shitty sequels, Jason isn’t scary anymore, well, that’s probably because you never ran into him while scuba diving. Which is unfortunate, because some devoted fan/lunatic with access to a snorkel put a life-sized Jason statue deep in a lake in Crosby, Minnesota.

The reason, other than the fact that it’s inherently funny to give divers involuntary diarrhea? The lake in question is called “Crystal Lake,” as in the same name as the lake from Friday The 13th. And since pulling off this stunt at the original filming location would involve dragging a corpse-like dummy through a herd of impressionable Boy Scouts, going with some random Minnesota lake with the same name seems like a good strategy.

Jason has been underwater since 2013, and more recent footage shows that he’s starting to look a little waterlogged and gross, like that Sea Monkey you left to rot in your childhood bedroom. Still, he remains, complete with his machete and anchored by a chain — seemingly a reference to the end of Friday The 13th Part VI, in which he is similarly restrained at the bottom Crystal Lake, not unlike David Blaine.

Only more emotive.

Of course, in the movies, Jason is later freed from the lake, goes on several more killing sprees, and is eventually frozen and resurrected in space in Jason X. So whoever this hilarious prankster is, he’d better get some NASA credentials ASAP if he wants to keep up with canon.

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Who among us hasn’t dreamt of visiting the starship Enterprise from Star Trek? It has a big-screen TV, luxurious apartments, and in later iterations, you could get hammered at a bar tended by Whoopi Goldberg. Well, it turns out you can visit the original Kirk-era Enterprise. All you have to do is trek to … a strip mall in upstate New York.

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

Located in Ticonderoga is the “Star Trek Original Series Set Tour,” which from the outside looks like an auto body shop run by sci-fi nerds. But on the inside, you step into a shockingly detailed replica of the original Enterprise set. Exciting for fans and disappointing for family road-trippers who only stopped in to use the bathroom that doesn’t exist in the 23rd century.

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

The tour has everything from the Sick Bay to the Transporter Room, even Kirk’s bedroom — though for authenticity’s sake, they should really add a half-naked green-skinned woman hiding behind a houseplant as you enter.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

And of course, no Enterprise would be complete without the glorified man cave that is the Bridge. Guests can even take a seat in a replica Kirk’s chair. That sucker is so convincing that you can practically smell the space STDs wafting off it.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

This Enterprise was built by Trek super-fan (and professional Elvis impersonator) James Cawley, who personally, painstakingly recreated the iconic set himself. The results were so successful that the real Captain Kirk, William Shatner, is set to visit Ticonderoga this spring. And if you can’t make it there in time, keep in mind that this is William Shatner we’re talking about, so it’s possible he’ll decide to live there from now on.

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Apart from the occasional authoritarian puppet government controlled by a shadowy cabal of evil wizards, the Harry Potter universe sounds like a fun place to live in. Sadly, you can’t transport yourself to that world of witches and wizards, no matter how many filthy subway walls you run into. The closest we’ve gotten are the theme parks, which are impressive if you can imagine that all the Hogwarts students took Polyjuice Potion to make themselves look like sweaty, tank-top-clad American tourists.

Thankfully, there is one way to get a taste of the Potter-verse in your day-to-day life, thanks to an unsuspecting giant corporation. For those who want a taste of wizard food but aren’t able to schlep out to Orlando or Hollywood, fans have put together a secret Harry Potter menu for Starbucks. Of course, this isn’t an official part of the chain’s menu, but rather a kind of “hack” concocted by people who know more about syrup than computers.

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Because Starbucks employees are mandated to cater to whatever insane whims their customers demand, modifying drinks isn’t irregular. So if you look up the recipe online, you can go in and order, say, a Butterbeer Frappuccino, or a glass of Pumpkin Juice. And they totally have to make it for you. It’s like magic, if magic was powered by making customer service jobs even more frustrating.

Still, it’s a fun way to make going to a familiar chain into something magical. And unless you want to pretend that McNuggets are made of Thestral meat, it’s really your best option at this point.

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

If porn parodies have taught us anything, it’s that The Simpsons would be a brain-melting nightmare in real life, but that hasn’t stopped some from attempting to import parts of Springfield into our world. We’ve previously talked about how Simpsons fandom in Spain led to Homer-themed donut shops and the legally-in-the-clear “Krasty Burger.” Apparently, Argentina didn’t want to be left out of the copyright-infringing fun, because Moe’s Tavern totally popped up in the suburbs of Buenos Aires.

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

Even the interior was supposed to evoke Homer’s favorite watering hole. Unfortunately, it turns out that Fox is a bit of a stickler for intellectual property rights, and they put the kibosh on the project. They probably should have gone the Krasty Burger route and called it Toe’s Mavern or something. So now there’s just a Moe’s Tavern-shaped house in the ‘burbs for basically no reason.

This isn’t even the first time someone used bootleg Simpsons merch in order to get fans loaded. Counterfeit versions of Homer’s beer of choice, Duff, have been circulating in numerous South American countries for years. There was even a Duff beer festival featuring a performance from “the beautiful Duff girls”.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/02/05/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

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adambstingus · 5 years

Text

5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Only more emotive.

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182586892477

0 notes

allofbeercom · 5 years

Text

5 Movie Easter Eggs That Are Hidden In The Real World

Someone Has A Friggin’ X-Wing In Their Backyard

Bing MapsHis neighbors aren’t fond of his way of retrieving milk.

Unknown / r/StarWarsMost people come away muttering something about this not being the X-Wing they were looking for.

And if you’re wondering why R2-D2 hasn’t been in the Disney movies much, it’s probably because he’s apparently stuck in small-town Virginia.

Unknown / r/StarWarsHe’s gained some weight since the ’80s, and they’d have to call the fire department to pry him out.

Jason Voorhees Is Lurking In A Minnesota Lake

Friday The 13th Part XIII: Jason Takes A Bath spoilers.

Only more emotive.

You Can Visit A Full Recreation Of Star Trek‘s Original Set In A Mall

Where no man has (willingly) gone before.

CBS

CBSNo one will notice if you “go” in the Tribble room, though.

CBS

CBSThe sheets are completely stiff for some reason.

CBS

CBSWait, no, that’s normal New York air.

There’s A Secret Harry Potter-Themed Menu At Starbucks (Sort Of)

Also, diabetes. But, like, magical diabetes!

Moe’s Tavern From The Simpsons Exists In Argentina

(Martin Rodrguez y Laprida) Ituzaingo, Buenos Aires, Argentina El mejor pas del mundo pic.twitter.com/dcPASmCnnC

– Lenny (@LeonardoPuw) October 5, 2017

Originally, the idea was to take an old rundown mechanic’s shop and turn it into a bar. And if you’re building a bar from scratch anyway, why not make it a famous cartoon bar?

This version of Moe looks like he’s way more into CrossFit, though.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Get to writing in your own fun Easter Eggs with a beginner’s guide to Celtx.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Famous Movies You Can Walk Around In Right Now and 5 Famous Movie Sets That Might Be In Your Neighborhood.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-movie-easter-eggs-that-are-hidden-in-the-real-world/

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weekendwarriorblog · 6 years

Text

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND October 26, 2018 - HUNTER KILLER, INDIVISIBLE, JOHNNY ENGLISH STRIKES AGAIN

A very impressive October is going to fizzle out this weekend with three weaker offerings that will allow Universal’s Halloween to dominate the box office for a second weekend in a row, even though Halloween proper isn’t until next Wednesday. (Honestly, the release of the video game sequel Red Dead Redemption II Friday might keep many guys at home in front of their consoles this weekend.)

HUNTER KILLER (Summit/Lionsgate)

The widest and most prominent new movie of the weekend is a submarine action-thriller starring Gerard Butler and recent Oscar-winner Gary Oldman, being released into roughly 2,600 theaters by Lionsgate subdivision Summit Entertainment. It deals with a submarine captain who works with a Navy SEAL team to try to rescue the Russian President from a Russian general who has staged a coup.

Butler has been out and about doing promotion for this movie directed by Donovan Marsh (director of something called Spud), but he’s already had a good year, coming off the surprise crime-thriller hit Den of Thieves earlier this year, which grossed $45 million. Butler’s previous movie Geostorm was a catastrophic bomb, at least in North America where it grossed $33 million on a $120 million budget. (It did better overseas.) The previous year, Butler had a similar mix of hits (the sequel London Has Fallen) and over-priced CG bombs (Gods of Egypt), but he’s still maintaining some of the box office pull he first found with Zack Snyder’s action 300in 2007.

Butler does get a boost among older moviegoers with the presence of Gary Oldman, who finally won an Oscar playing Winston Churchill in last year’s Darkest Hour, which grossed $56 million. In 2017, Oldman benefitted from appearing in the Samuel Jackson-Ryan Reynolds action-comedy The Hitman’s Bodyguard, which grossed $75 million on the tail-end of summer. Even so, Oldman has had a spotty track record at the box office with hits like Dawn of the Planet of the Apesand Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight movies countered with bombs like Child 44 and Criminal. The movie also stars Billy Bob Thornton, Willem Dafoe, Linda Cardellini, as well as Common, who is making his fifth movie appearance in the last month!

Although there have been many submarine movies over the years including the Oscar-nominated German film Das Boot in the early ‘80s, the two biggest submarine films were the Jack Ryan film The Hunt for Red October, starring Sean Connery and Alec Baldwin, in 1990, and Denzel Washington’s Crimson Tide in 1995, the latter written by Quentin Tarantino. Those grossed $122 and $91.4 million respectively, and 2000’s U-571 also performed respectively with $77 million. Two years later, K-19: The Widowmaker with Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson ended up with about half that amount, and few submarine films have done well since with 2013’s Phantom and 2015’s Black Sea, each barely cracking a million.

One presumes that even with the success Butler has had with some of his recent ventures, particularly the “Fallen franchise” (or whatever you wanna call it), it might be harder to bring out all of his mostly male fans with a submarine movie. It just seems like this is coming out too soon after Halloween and other stronger releases that might keep this from making more than $10 million over the weekend.

INDIVISIBLE (Pure Flix)

The next widest release of the weekend is yet another faith-based film, the new one from David G. Evans, who previously directed The Grace Card, which made $2.4 million after being released into 352 theaters by Samuel L. Goldwyn in 2011.

This is a biopic about Army Chaplain Darren Turner, as played by Justin Bruening from Grey’s Anatomy, and his wife Heather (Sarah Drew), who try to save their marriage after he get back from war with PTSD. It seems like a fairly typical faith-based film, and it’s the fifth film from PureFlix this year, the previous four grossing between $4.7 and $6.2 million. That’s a far cry from the some of the bigger Christian hits like 2008’s Fireproof or 2011’s Courageous, both which grossed in the $33 to 34 million range. It’s also nowhere even close to the $83.5 million grossed by I Can Only Imagine, which is by far, the biggest Christian hit of the year.

The lack of success of many recent faith-based films, including Unbroken: Path to Redemption (that $6.2 million PureFlix release) and God Bless the Broken Road, which made half that amount, makes it seem like there just isn’t interest in a Christian movie not based on a well-known book or song.

Indivisible is being released into around 1,000 theaters, which means it probably will end up opening in the same $2 to 3 million range as some of the other releases mentioned, which might be a push to get it into the bottom of the top 10.

JOHNNY ENGLISH STRIKES AGAIN (Focus Features)

A movie that normally would have gotten a straight-to-video release in the early ‘00s is just barely getting a theatrical release into 500 theaters, and that’s Rowan Atkinson’s third outing as the bumbling British spy Johnny English, who this time takes on the threat of a cyber-attack.

Atkinson created the character in 2003 for the movie Johnny English, which grossed $28 million domestic after a $9.1 million opening, but the movie grossed $132 million overseas including $31.1 million in the United Kingdom, where Atkinson is quite famous for his show Blackadder and comic character Mr. Bean.

The 2011 sequel Johnny English Reborn might have done better if it was released soon enough to capitalize on the success of the first movie, but in fact, it did even better overseas with $151 million ($33 million of that from the UK) compared to the mere $8.3 million in North America.

Obviously, Universal Pictures wasn’t going to spend a lot of money to promote a third movie in the States, considering how poorly the previous movie did. Instead, they dumped it to its little brother Focus Features, who are wisely only releasing it into 500 theaters this weekend with the smallest amount of promotion.

The movie also stars Olga Kuryenko, Emma Thompson, Michael Gambon, Charles Dance and James Lacy, which is a decent enough cast to bring in some Anglophile parents with their kids, but it’s hard to imagine this can make more than $2 million, which will probably place it outside the Top 10.

With most of the returning movies remaining dominant, there aren’t many questions to ask: Whether Gerard Butler’s Hunter Killer does better than I projected, and whether Fox’s The Hate U Give will capitalize on the word-of-mouth from its impressive A+ CinemaScore to maybe overtake First Man or even Goosebumps in their respective third weekends. Regardless, this week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Halloween (Universal) - $35 million -54% 2. A Star is Born (Warner Bros.) - $13.5 million -30% 3. Venom (Sony) - $9.1 million -50% 4. Hunter Killer (Lionsgate/Summit) - $8.4 million N/A 5. Goosebumps: Haunted Halloween (Sony) - $6.1 million -37% 6. First Man (Universal) – $5.1 million -40% 7. The Hate U Give (20thCentury Fox) - $5 million -35% 8. Smallfoot (Warner Bros.) - $4.2 million -35% 9.Night School (Universal) - $3 million - 10. Indivisible (Pure Flix) - $2.8 million -40% -- Johnny English Strikes Again(Focus Features) - $1.8 million N/A

LIMITED RELEASES

The big limited release this weekend is Luca Guadagnino’s long-awaited remake of Dario Argento’s SUSPIRIA (Amazon), which will open in New York and L.A. Friday. It stars Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades of Grey) as Susie Bannion, a young woman from a Memonite background who comes to Berlin in 1977 to study at a prestigious dance school with the legendary Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton), but she soon finds out that there’s more to the all-women school than she thinks – in fact, it’s a witch’s coven. At the same time, psychiatrist Dr. Josef Klemperer (also played by Swinton!!) is trying to learn the truth about the school after one of his patients – a dancer at the school -- vanishes. Featuring an all-female cast that includes Chloe Grace Moretz, Mia Goth and Sylvie Testud, this is an amazing film that’s mostly a tense drama for the first 45 minutes, but then quickly turns into a suitably gory thrill-ride that gets completely insane in the last act. At the same time, it’s an interesting look at a historical period of time that overlays with the story going on at the dance school.

Also quite good is BURNING (Well Go USA), South Korea’s Oscar entry and the new movie from Lee Chang-dong (Secret Sunshine). It stars Ah-In Yoo as Jong-su Lee, an assuming young man who hooks up with a girl from his old village, but when she returns from a trip to Africa, she’s a dashing and rich man, played by Steven Yeun (The Walking Dead), who Jong-su immediately suspects of hiding something. You can read what I wrote about the movie in my New York Film Festival coveragea few weeks back.

Sweden’s Oscar entry is Ali Abbasi’s BORDER (Neon), a strange fairy tale romance about a Swedish border guard named Tina (Eva Melender), whose chromosome defect makes her look different from others. Even so, she has the ability to sniff out anyone trying to smuggle anything across the border, which proves useful for a job. When Tina meets a “man” a lot like her, the two fall into a romance, which distracts Tina from a job finding a pedophile ring. Adapted by John Ajvide Lindqvist (Let the Right One In) from his short story Gräns, it’s a truly original film at a time when we’re not getting very original movies, and it’s a strange concept that grows on you as it veers further into the fantasy realm. To say more about the Cannes award winner and some of its plot twists would be doing it a disservice, so just check out the trailer.

Stephen Dorff and Melissa George star in David Gleeson’s psychological thriller DON’T GO (IFC Films) as a couple dealing with their young daughter’s death by moving to a seaside village where their life is disrupted as the girl begins appearing to him in a dream.

Billy Bob Thornton stars in the long-delayed adaptation of Martin Amis’ 1989 noir novel LONDON FIELDS (GVN Releasing) directed by Matthew Cullen. Set in 1999, Thornton plays novelist Samson Young, whose life starts coming apart when he meets Amber Heard’s manipulative Nicola Six, who becomes Samson’s muse to break him out of writer’s block. Also starring Johnny Depp – in one of the most ridiculous performances of his career—Jim Sturgess, Cara Delevigne and Jamie Alexander, this movie was pulled from the Toronto Film Festival a few years back and has been entangled in legal battles. Having seen it, I can tell you that it’s a very, very bad movie.

Meanwhile, Susan Sarandon plays an ER nurse whose journalist son (Matt Bomer) has been kidnapped in Syria in Maryam Keshavarz’s VIPER CLUB (YouTube Originals/Roadside Attraction), which opens in New York and L.A. this weekend and then expands to more cities next week.

Latin-American filmmaker Lorena Villareal’s SILENCIO (Tulip Pictures) is a sci-fi drama starring John Noble, Rupert Graves and Melina Matthews, the latter playing Ana, who must find a stone discovered by her grandfather in the Zone of Silence, the Bermuda Triangle of Mexico, which has enough interest from others who want the stone’s power for themselves.

Now playing at the Film Forum is Life and Nothing More from Spanish filmmaker Antonio Mendez Esparza, starring Regina Williams as the mother of a 14-year-old son Andrew, whose life has been spiraling downwards and it gets worse when her son is confronted by a white couple. The film won the John Cassavetes Award for a film under $500,000 at the 2018 Film Independent Spirit Awards earlier this year.

Would you believe that I have yet to see a movie directed by Frederick Wiseman despite being a huge documentary fan? The master documentarian’s new movie Monrovia, Indiana (Zipporah Films) will open at the Film Forumon Friday, as well as in L.A. on Nov. 2 and other cities to follow. I haven’t seen it, but I assume it’s about a town in Indiana.

Sanjay Rawal’s doc 3100: Run and Become (Spartan), opening in New York Friday and in L.A. on Nov. 9, follows a Finnish paperboy and an Austrian cellist who attempt to complete the New York-based Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race over the course of 52 days .

STREAMING

Sandi Tan’s doc SHIRKERS (Netflix) is about how in 1992 she tried to make an independent serial killer film called “Shirkers” in Singapore until the footage was stolen, and it certainly looks intriguing. (It’s also getting a one-week release at Metrographif you want to see it on the big screen.) Also, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, based on the teenage witch featured in Archie Comics, will stream its first season starting Friday.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Just in time for Halloween, the theater will be one of a couple that will be showing a restoration of John Carpenter’s 1980 horror film The Fog, starring Adrienne Barbeau and Jamie Lee Curtis. (I wonder what happened to her?) Thursday, the theater presents Paul Auster X2, showing two movies by author Paul Auster: Lulu on the Bridge (1998) and The Inner Life of Martin Frost (2007), both on 35mm with Auster in attendance. This weekend’s Playtime: Family Matinee is one of my all-time favorites Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)—who knows? I might even go see it again.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Starting Friday is a restoration of Luchino Visconti’s 1954 film Senso (Rialto Pictures) with new subtitles that incorporates dialogue by Tennessee Williams and Paul Bowles written for the English adaptation The Wanton Contessa. It’s set during the 1866 battle of Custoza between Austria and Italy, after which Contessa Alida Valli decides to betray her own country’s cause in favor of a relationship with an Austrian deserter.Probably not my kind of thing, but perfect for the Film Forum crowd.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Just in time for Halloween, the Egyptian will show the restoration of Bill Gunn’s Ganja and Hess (1973; Kino Lorber), starring Duane Jones (Night of the Living Dead), which Spike Lee remade a few years back. A discussion will follow the screening on Monday night.

AERO (LA):

The theater’s Halloween horror series includes double features of The Abominable Dr. Phibes with The Devil’s Rain on Friday night, Frankenstein with Bride of Frankenstein on Sunday night, and an All-night Horrorthon on Saturday night, which includes such “classics” like Jason X,Maximum Overdrive, Zombie 3, a 25th anniversary screening of Body Melt and more.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

I missed last week’s horror series but this week is A Woman’s Bite: Sapphic Vampires, an amazing series of vampire lesbians including Tony Scott’s The Hunger (1983), Dracula’s Daughter (1936), the Spanish-German film Vampyros Lesbos (1971) and many other rare offerings.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This week’s Weekend Classics: Coen Brothers offering is one of my favorites, 1990’s Miller’s Crossing, showing Friday though Sunday at 11AM. Also The Water Margin (1972) is shown as part of the Shaw Brothers Spectacularsseries. Maybe even more importantly, the theater will kick-off a week-long Directed by Orson Welles series that will lead directly into the release of the long-incomplete The Other Side of the Wind, which will show at the IFC Center along with Morgan Neville’s doc They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead. It will include 35mm prints of Chimes at Midnight, Mr. Arkadin and F for Fake.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

This will also be showing the 4k restoration of John Carpenter’s The Fog.

MOMA (NYC):

Modern Matinees: Vincent Pricecontinues with Roger Corman’s The Pit and the Pendulum (1961) on Thursday afternoon, Return of the Fly (1959) on Friday afternoon and House of Wax (1953) on Halloween afternoon. The Museum of Modern Art also kicks off a new series called Catalan Cinemas Radical Years: 1968 – 1978 for the more experimental as filmmakers used their craft to rebel against Spanish dictator General Francisco Franco’s last years in power.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

This weekend sees the self-explanatory series Beyond Halloween: Five Horror Films by John Carpenter, which will screen The Thing, Christine, Prince of Darkness, Body Bags and In the Mouth of Madness. Just in time for the movie’s 25thAnniversary, the theater’s Family Program will screen Hocus Pocus on Saturday afternoon.

That’s it for this week, but next week, the holiday movie season kicks off with Bohemian Rhapsody, Disney’s Nutcracker and the Four Realms and Tyler Perry’s Nobody’s Fool starring Tiffany Haddish.

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