#when i tell you my heart JUMPED

[tenjikyu]

i found this in the avatar section of roblox 😭

I WASNT EVEN SEARCHING FOR IT SO I GOT A HUGE JUMPSCARE

#manjiro sano #manjiro mikey sano #tokyo revengers #he’s so scary #when i tell you my heart JUMPED #i mean i see a resemblance #he’s so girliepop #w his lil bows and necklace 😭

[martinmynster]

is noone gonna mention the 3wbf safehouse???

#when i tell you my heart jumped #never let me go #3wbf #this memory was locked away for years but it took me less than a sec to connect the dots #that's how impactful this show and location were

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

#yamswers #anonymous #dysphoria discussion #q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization #i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday #happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate #i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing #because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice #it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery #my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat). #the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates— #not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks #i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through #seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine #a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself” #but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference? #on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on

[donghuamuqing]

As she told me, son:

#stranger things #will byers #byler #mike wheeler #i used the fist pic bc im pretty sure this is when she says ‘i dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things’ #and stuff like ‘you dont have to be afraid to share yourself with me im mother i love you’ #second is of course mike putting his head on wills chest possibly checking his heartbeat #also mike is the heart #and he was so afraid for will and did anything he could to get him back #also the title of the song is i will follow you into the dark #which bas major mike jumps into the upside down after will vibes #and also he was supposed to in montauk #idk if these lyrics actually mean what i want them to mean but. i make my own rules #second pic is so bad im sorrryyy idk why its so bad :( #also also the part before goes #in catholic school as vicious as roman rule i got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black #and i held my tongue as she told me son fear is the heart of love so i never went back #um idk allusions to mikes internalized homophobia and the christian culture of the town #now i dont believe karen is inherently absuive or evil or mean or anything but she fit the bill for this edit #which is more gentle and hopeful than the song is lol #ok im done i promise

[rohirric-hunter]

.

#also okay #this coworker i was complaining about earlier #mr women music #so theres this other coworker #who is. a tad odd #mostly in that he uses weird sort of archaic words a lot #but anyway mr women music has this habit of every time this other coworker does something a little weird #as soon as he thinks hes out of hearing hell turn to me or whoevers closest and make Some Comment about how weird he is #which is not very nice okay. but today he was like 'wow i feel like everything he says is sarcastic' #and im like man #it is so easy to tell when this guy is being sarcastic #because literally every time he does it he then proceeds to say 'that wasnt sarcastic AT ALL' #like every time he uses sarcasm he then proceeds to loudly announce that he is being sarcastic #you just think hes being sarcastic because youve never heard someone say 'warms the cockles of my heart' in real life before #and because its so foreign to you your brain refuses to process it as genuine #anyway then someone else came and jumped all over me for assuming he didnt know what 'warms the cockles of my heart' meant #no i think he knows what it means #hes just never heard someone say it out loud before #which is a personal issue that he needs to get over tbh

[skunkg1rll]

im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.

#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w #so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me #he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine #nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am #nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me #that made me very sad nd hurt nd like #he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him #bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions #i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it #nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is #i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from #instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed #so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations #but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that #however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him #maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend #i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part #if imginna get over these feelings #i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you #then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media #then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him #but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now #my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop #since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it #but i have no idea how to stop #god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??

[imblocking-you]

Watching Death's Game because I like suffering 👍

#death's game #netflix #// maple #ion wanna kin bro but i feel like im headed there #'do you travel to the afterlife on a plane?' BYE #SIWON? i forgot the cast is like stacked lmao #feels like a world hopping novel i like it #talk about karma T T also i didnt expect how graphic it was BYE #THIS FALLJNG GUY BYE LMFAO #and he reverts back to the teenage form when the stronger opponent arrives #GOD THE GUILT #yung bulgogi sa spoon :(( wala na iyak na ko guys talo mga may single parents talo mga walang nanay hahahahaha #after death told him that he's only thinking ab himself oh this life is purposeful UN HUH #but we know it's doomed to fail kasi nga second ep pa lang BUT MAN i hope something changes... #'everything is fine yee jae' it is it truly is the fact the mom was calling him before he jumped oh you just know she was ready to tell him #exactly that OH this breaks my heart #choking and holding back tears while eating FELT #NO NO *bunches up hair* I WONT FALL FOR IT THIS IS JUST A PLOY TO GET ME ATTACHED TO THE CHARACTER BEFORE YOU INEVITABLY KILL THEM #Lee Ju Hun HAHHAHAHAHA LARO #tinago niya 'yung pera para next life makukuha niya gagi pangmalakasang ungkatan ng past 'to LMAO #why does this one prisoner dude look like sohee #BYE WHAT IF IT'S JINSANG WEBTOONS TEND TO DO THAT #HELP I KNEW WE'RE TYING UP LOOSE ENDS HAHAHAHAHA #I just know taekang other son is tied up in all of this too #gagi part 1 pa lang pala yata 'yung drama na 'to mapapabasa ko ng wentoon ng 'di oras #jinsang you overgrown chuuni 😭 #i feel great for getting jinsang beat up but like we all taesang is dying so...i wouldnt be so comfy if i were u lol #OOH THAT NAME DROP FELT SO GOOD AVENGE HIM BROTHER THATS RIGHT #yall him being given the chance to print shit and he immediately goes to grimes core is obviously a sign that he's pretending to be a psych #NAURR the vendetta just ruins it

[theinfinitedivides]

I WAS F*CKING RIGHT

#tv: death's game #death's game #seo in guk #park so dam #kim ji hoon #lee do hyun #kdrama #local gay watches k-dramas.txt #THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE TAGS. do not read the next few f*cking tags if you do not want to get spoiled #so. you're telling me Yi Jae jumped bc of you. you killed your younger brother for the CEO position. daredevil died bc you #promised him a f*ckton of money. the fixer you hired to f*ck with said younger brother's plane dies at his girlfriend's hands. #you killed a young girl with your drunk driving and made the MMA hopeful take the fall. you paid his prison buddy off to kill him after #he said he wouldn't take your money bc he'd had a change of heart. then you ran the model and his original girlfriend over #while most likely drunk again and THEN suffocated him to death #and the only reason we know this is 1. intuition and 2. Yi Jae getting flashbacks before 3. he dies as Geon Woo. #also Yi Jae didn't hit anyone when he died the bodies were from this 7th life that just ended. my God #him and that damned lighter. Ji Hoon i can smell you and your roles from a mile and a half away i knew it bitch!!!!!!!!

[skiijumpinng]

saw žaba's wife and mom carrying a black trashbag which turned out to be a dawd cutout 😭😭😭

#i tell you when he pulled that out.... #my heart was not okay #ski jumping #season 2022/2023 #planica

[dirt-str1der]

Love the thought of kiryu losing nishikiyamas lighter fucking instantly after he gave it to him. Like he leaves it in the car and nishiki is nice enough to re-gift it to him when they meet up again and then two weeks after that whole fiasco kiryu loses it again and nishiki just buys him those cheap packs of like fifty plastic lighters because this is why they cant have nice things and he hates (loves) him so much

#Yakuza loveblog #like as sweet as it is to have kiryu hold on to that thing forecer (his lighter now) i think he really has a problem with commitment. its #not like he doesnt treasure it. he just does a lot of backflips and jumping around and things inevitably fall out of his pockets #i believe in my heart that kiryu is always losing shit and taking nishikis without permission and breaking it sometimes. like yknow #younger brother behaviour. thats why nishikis always hounding him because hes suffered greatly from kiryus whims #his whimsicality. his ability to wander literally everywhere. i think kiryu played truant in school a lot #like very early on he knew it wasnt for him so hed stalk the streets in his school uniform and climb up or under fences and rip up his skirt #and knees and then when he meets up with nishiki and yumi again hes like hey wanna come lepak in this abandoned building i found ? and theyd #be like YEAH !!!! and bring yuko along too because i love her and she should get to cut her arm open on a rusty metal screw and have to be #sent to the hospital as little girls are prone to doing. i love talking about kiryu in his school uniform god .. i really ... like i just #know he would use it to its fullest like i have a very clear image in my minds eye of kiryu as a kid all covered in dirt from climbing into #gardens and dusty old buildings morning to afternoon and carrying cool rocks around in his skirt and when he gathers them all in a pile he #just dusts off his skirt and its literally still covered in dirt and mud and dust but he does not give a shit. like it would literally be #ripped up the back because hes always sliding down concrete slopes and banisters and im sure hes cut his leg open before and just bled. #all over his nice boue uniform and then limped home and soaked it in a bucket to wear tomorrow. like i see kiryu with a lot of free time and #he never does homework and is failing all his classes by choice because he alrrady knows what he wants to do. like hes only failing because #he doesnt show up for exams and hes literally the bad boy that the girls always ask nishiki to introduce them to like omg is kazuko your #sister ?? can you give her this letter ... and nishiki opens it and reads it first and its a love letter and he just gives it to kiryu like #there are hot girls in your area who want you desperately and kiryus like oh. neat. im skipping school again tomorrow btw do not tell oyasan

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

The Duolingo owl tries to convince you that your ranking and league matter. They don’t. Duolingo is about beating the owl by keeping ridiculously long streaks even if you have to take classes half asleep before bed. If the Duolingo owl was real they wouldn’t be the one with a gun. Sure, it reminds me to take the lessons, but it also tells me I didn’t take a lesson if I make one too many mistakes. No. I took the lesson. The owl is lucky it’s in my phone and not my room

#emma posts #slightly unhinged attitude about the whole ‘hearts’ thing #plenty of asks try to get my attention. but that one doesn’t count me if I make too many mistakes. #I TOOK THE FUCKING LESSON YOU ASSHOLE! #I mean. I haven’t taken mine today yet and I’ve been doing well. but that just makes me MORE angry about it #AND IM NOT PAYING! my cousin offered to let me join the family plan and it didn’t work anyway #I don’t actually understand the whole ‘ominous Duolingo owl’ meme #I just feel seething rage when it tells me I made too many mistakes #fuck you. I’m using my English to Norwegian dictionary to cheat on spelling if i only have one heart #I’m like when my childhood dog got teased by blue jays and they had to stay way up high to avoid his tiny ass #he was short but could jump surprisingly well #I think he did about six feet vertically once #yet the blue jays kept stealing his food when he wasn’t looking

[istherewifiinhell]

entered the divorced era.... or as its the vast majority of the work, exited the married era i guess. anyway that is to say. gotta fucking give it up to michael dooney, first non laird or eastman person to do an entire issue.

[mirage 13 Michael Dooney, Letter: Steve Lavinge]

[ID from alt: Group shot of Dooney's turtles, that have a lot of squat oval shapes. From right to left, Leo, fist clenched looking determined, he has a hand on Raph. Raph looks pissed as he holds up Don. Don is woozy with his eyes closed, holding on to Raph. Mikey peaks out from behind Don, arms held near his chest, looking concerned. END ID]

LIKE!!!! OKAY DUDE! YEAH! knocked it outta the fucking park this is a banger issue.

#some shit #turbles... #sorry for calling ever kind of partnership a marriage and every kind of separation a divorce. i will continue to do so #[eastman and laird will not co collaborate on another comic for like. 40 issues? i think?] #ANYWAY. MR DOONEY IM LOVE UR TURTLES. GUYS OF ALL TIME.... literally pitch perfect characterization. #like say i KNOW thats raph holding up don cause in a early panel don jumped from an explosion into raphs arms (cute....) thus 4th is mike #BUT ALSO. like i send this to my boy and no context. he can with very little trouble tell whose who #& values the clarity who is over continuity (like say raphs weapons were just on the ground now there in his belt. WELL SO U KNOW ITS HIM) #EXTREMELY GOOD. IDW why the FUCK isnt this in ur ultimate collection. you cowards. #just cause theres some comically sexy lady aliens duking it out.... #anyway my heart just so full of love when i see other artists turtles iget overstim with it sfkdjsjhdfbjhsdf. naws on bone or whatever. #wifi blogs mirage

[iholli]

what is it about the finale that's so damn moving and emotional that I absolutely cannot watch it without crying my eyes out

#I've seen this like 4 times now #AND EVERY TIME. I CRY. #i spend the whole last episode in tears it's just SO. #THE FOUND FAMILY GETS TO ME. YOU KNOW #rottmnt #when karai tells april shes always been one of them ?? #when the boys jump to save raph ?? and unlock their powers ?? #WHEN SPLINTERS MOM SHOWS UP AND HOT SOUP I-- #AAAAHHHHHH SOBBING #my little rat heart cant handle all these FEELINGS #ratkingrambles #name a moment more emotinally destroying than raph breaking down bc he feels so much like failure tho that shit HURTS.

[ricetunamayo]

childe's character is such a sweet thing to think about when you allow yourself to go into heavy detail about all the little things that complete him. from the exterior we meet a man that prides himself on being his archontess' weapon, so much so that even his outfit is inspired by this motivation. he is a bloody, combact knife. with all the red fabric, and jewels that complete it, that adorn it? this is a loyal man, loyal to being someone's weapon.

but in the same breath, in a shocking contrast to his life motivations... childe is a man of comunity, and a family oriented one at that. sure, all of the harbingers are idolized in their country, and all of them represent different things that they must carry out in their duty. but childe....despite being a weapon, indulges in domestic things. so much so that, it even gives the impression of him living for his community, to the fullest, to make up for all the things he wont reach to be in the future. when his duty finally claims him as another weapon fallen in battle.

#dont you DARE even tell me about how his favorite thing is fishing #have you thought about it? truly? #fishing is... about patience. #you sit there in a boat... or stand in a ledge near a body of water and you study the manu things around you. the air the weather the noise #and you deduct whether this is a good time to fish or if its better to go elsewhere otherwise #but its also a hobby of consistency... because it takes patience and love for something to learn the patterns of it. specially when it is #so exposed to nature #childe loves to fish and to cook and to care for his siblings and jump into shows when he feels like it! #but hes also loyal to his royal highness the tsaritsa to his duty as a harbinger and ready to lose his life on the field for those he deems #worthy #hes so cool and he is so sweet and his character is really so complex #im so sad that with all his appearances... no.. that despite all his appearances he still gets mischaracterized to hell n back #ive been thinking of picking up writing again just to do a character study fic of him and rest in peace #phmygosh and diluc too #im so happy to see the progress fandom diluc has made wuth this event but my god... as an og diluc man #diluc main 😭 yall ... the mischaracterizations of him are insane #anyways i have so much love for childe in my heart i really do #if he asked me to feed him id make him a meal and i hate cooking for ppl and serving them i rly do #😭😭 if he asked me to sit down and stay still i think i could do it #and if he asked me to join the field w him i would im so sorry 😔 #genshin impact #childe #tuna. thoughts #anyways... childe enjoyers... im single #ignore ghe typos^@*@* its 2 am im just having insane brainrot im so sorry

[suga-kookiemonster]

The way I caught my breath!

...i didn't know where to look and was laughing at jungkook at first but then looked to the side and saw jimin and 😰😰 and then i noticed tae in the back 🤢

#when i tell you those two made my heart JUMP like a startled animal! i wasn't ready lmao #maknae line #dance line #vocal line #bby #husband #the tempter #asks

[sierice]

💜🌸💕

💛💌💕💗

#heart emojis are so !!!!!! #i love em #anyways HIIIIII HELLO HI XANNNN #HOW YOU DOING????? #ok ok WAIT #i have something i wanted to tell you hold up- #ok so basically my brother started watching bnha alright? #ans i was in the room when dabi came on (i think that was the first time dabi showed up?) #and i just JUMPED out of my seat like WAAAAAAITTTT A SECOND #i was like REWIND REWIND I KNOW THAT GUY #was very close to going THAT'S XAN'S BLORBO !!!!!!! #ofc when he started watching bnha in the first place i was close to saying 'WAIT i know these characters!!!!' #for like literally every character i saw XDDDD #i havnt actually watched bnha though i only know all these names and characters from your rbs and posts XD #ALSO when they first mentioned the name deku i was like 'deku? like bakudeku?' #and my brother looked at me like i was insane #xan my beloved <333 #🤍🖤🤍🖤 #mutuals ask #asks