#what am i doing wrong ladies

[ohslenderaphrodite]

okay its pride month when is a girl going to confess her love to me

#text #mine #bro i just realized as i was typing this #that not only have i had to deal with 3 separate men confessing to/hitting on me this year #but im pretty sure thats more than ive had to deal with in the last almost 4 years combined #and i havent had a girl hit on me in even longer #what am i doing wrong ladies #i stopped getting long acrylics #is it the hair #but also actually genuinely what kind of energy am i putting out that is making people try and come on to me again #i was actually content being left alone up until now so wtf is up

[cloudyvulpine]

hate when i'm info dumping about a *FICTIONAL* villain and someone has the audacity to be like "but they've killed people" or "but they've committed crimes"

i know

but they aren't real

i still want to make out with them

#tbh i could be doing worse #worse character i wanna makeout with is Lady Dimitrescu i think #like yes i am well aware she's a bad person but that's the fun part about her being fictional #nope wait remembered alduin aka the fUCKING WORLD EATING DRAGON #this is the part of the tags were i desperately try to remember all the characters i wanna smooch #alduin #iguchi shuichi #takami keigo #lady dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #glados #wheatly portal 2 #do undertale characters count??? they do try to kill you #maybe not papyrus but the others #undyne #do i put mettaton? i think i put mettaton bc dance battling a child to the death definitely isnt 100% good person behavior #mettaton #minecraft warden #minecraft enderman #ya im including these what are you gonna do to stop me? #how the fuck did i spell yea wrong #too late to fix it now #clouds posts

[sergle]

sergle i thought you didn't like ppl objectifying you :/

god okay this gave me whiplash. make sure you remember how to read before proceeding. sound words out for a friend or family member if you need to. People Being Thirsty in my general direction is different from people like. seeing me only as JO material. I Don't Like people thinking they're smooth as hell trying to dm me what they assume women want to hear. Describing some cringe ass shit. I Do Like a compliment. I even like a compliment that is clearly thirsty. I don't think "I've jacked off to you" is a compliment. not from yall anyway. super controversial, I know. a fat fetish blog following me and reblogging my selfies Is objectification. someone being vaguely horny can be good, or bad, or funny and I show it to ppl on discord and laugh- depends on the specifics. Most of the people following me are too uwu to even get close to the line. they've backed so far away from the line out of fear that they tripped over something while they were backing up and it was embarrassing for them. People trying to push me into sex work specifically while I'm fundraising, because they know I'm more vulnerable at that time and they want to take advantage of me needing money, is definitely sexual harassment, that's definitely me being objectified. the ask I just got, though, was not that. 😭 just telling me that some girls think I'm hot? that is tepid as hell. thinking someone is attractive isn't objectifying them. all attraction is not objectification. please. work with me here

#also I'm just a regular lady and I am more lenient on some days and more annoyed on others #but like the type of thing I was just sent. is nothing. that isn't anything. #that's not on the list of crazy things ppl have said or done #sergle answers #it's so. funny? i guess is a word to use #it's so funny to me the way that- if I'm trying to establish a boundary. I get people who are annoyed. #and if I want to like. god I don't think I've ever posted a thirst trap. but if I post something like that. then people are annoyed. #if I accept a thirsty ask then people are mad on my behalf. if I'm mad at it I get asks about how I should be grateful #like people saying I should take the deals for selling pics/videos or start an OF because #''some girls make a fraction of that amount'' #so I should do it what. out of obligation? yeah that's a great reason to get my pussy out #so many conflictions from people. and then there's ppl who don't know what a line is or where it is #so they always think it's crossed at the wrong time. and are unaware when it actually Has been crossed.

[butchviking]

the stupid thing about deciding that being heterosexual makes you bad or annoying, is it means if you think someone is bad or annoying you start thinking they must be heterosexual. darling i promise you those things aren't linked. sexual orientation is the most morally neutral thing in the world it just Happens to you

#yes im annoying about gerard. yes im gay. we exist 🥰 #babygirl if i wanted to jump that mans bones i would b shouting it from the rooftops i PROMISE. #'lesbians obsessed with men are acting like het women' what does that mean. what does that mean. #i think acting like a het woman means um. wanting to bang dudes. am i wrong is that not what sexuality is. what do those words mean 2 u #vagueing bc i dont want 2 bother vals notifs <3 <3 but my count is now at 4 ladies we are rising rapidly #sorry i guess this is this weeks Discourse fhsjkfjjdk

[piplupod]

why do counsellors think it's helpful to tell you "you shouldn't feel that way!" when you tell them something like "I am so stressed about spiders to the point where i have crying breakdowns thrice a week" or "I feel like I am somehow secretly a terrible person that needs to push everyone away to keep them safe from the rot that is inside of me"

like ... golly gee, thank you so much, that's soooo helpful, can't believe i never thought "wow! i shouldn't be feeling this way!" before, pretty crazy that you can just cure me with that one declaration!

#GIRL IF I KNEW HOW TO STOP FEELING THIS WAY I WOULD BE FINE !!! I WOULDNT BE TALKIN ABOUT IT WITH YOU #like okay yes. that is a good STARTING statement. but can u give me... something actionable perhaps. please. #instead of essentially just shaming me for my feelings hsdgjkl #i KNOW these feelings and thoughts are ''wrong'' and unhelpful and unhealthy and hurting me. but like... what do i DO with them... #''i feel like a bad person'' ''well you arent so you shouldnt feel that way :)'' ''....okay great thanks so much see you next week'' ????? #such wise words from a trained professional! /sarcasm #idk man i think that my stories and characters have been far more helpful in therapizing me than actual trained professionals ever have #these ppl do not know what to do with me it seems like #i get so frustrated every time i hear ''you're so self aware!'' bc that seems to be therapist language for ''idk what to do for you'' #or ''i can't help you. you are beyond my capabilities as a trained mental health professional who went to school for years'' #im TIRED. im so tired !!! #anyways im just dreading my appt later today fdjgkl i like this lady more than the last one but she hasn't been very helpful so far #starting to resign myself to the fact that maybe i am just too fucked up to be helped fdsjkl like man. im just stuck this way i guess #unless i can figure out how to fix me on my own then i think im just fucked #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[carefulfears]

wait is hank in californication a s€xual pr€d@tor ? 😭😭

i don't dismiss anyone who might view it that way but i personally don't view him as a predator...it's a lot more complicated of a conversation, in my opinion. he's convicted of unlawful sexual intercourse in a trial throughout s4, for something the show is clear he didn't really commit by definition, but the show is relatively dedicated to consequences for his actions even if "he didn't mean to" lol.

#am noticing that hank is actually sexually assaulted a lot more than there's ever really ambiguous consent with women #the show's whole thing is that women basically THROW themselves on him lol so he never really pursues anyone he mostly goes along #with what they want #but that one lady in the rehab episode LITERALLY raped him on-screen and it was played as a joke? #anyway none of this is to excuse his NUMEROUS crimes against humanity like genuinely do NOT get me wrong. you do not gotta hand it to him #but i don't personally find it uncomfortable to watch in that sense. and i'm really sensitive to it as a survivor. #but everyone is different

[kirbyddd]

barkbarkbark Riichi Book I's writing is like screeching chalkboard to my game designer's, translator's, and writer's ears all at once

it's got great concepts buried in there but it's in like the most anti-comprehension packaging conceivable

#what the hell is wrong with you #folks like you are the BANE of game designers everywhere #and game PLAYERS for that matter #THIS is the best strategy reference the English speaking world's got? #baddabingbaddaboom ladies and gentlemen #im about to make bank writing the West's first riichi primer that actually meets the standards of the modern analogue game industry #(which to be honest is abysmal right now the industry's in an insane 'text free' fad right now where every word is replaced with a symbol) #alright then im gonna set the new standard then #imma bout to do for Riichi Mahjong what i did for Ryuutama Traversées 🫸🤛 #and for all the dudes at unpub who know how to design incredible games but dont know how to write instructions #alright sorry I'll calm down #but seriously i am gonna start throwing together an actually quality-controlled guide #cause every english resource ive found so far has been like this... inconsistent and full of holes and omissions in explanations #chiba talks about the game's strategic immaturity in the west... well it's got an even bigger gap of educational immaturity #anyways.... I'll toss a bit of effort that way #we'll see how far i take it #I'll either make a few loose articles or a fully fledged book. no in between #god i dont have the energy to make another book when i dont even know if Traversées is ever gonna see the light of day #100% complete full color layout and everything. publishing limbo is real and it's every bit as stupid and unnecessary as you think. #(my case is much simpler than most though cause im only working with two small publishers rather than a big corp) #but still. damn #anyways im so tempted to throw some of my rulebook magic at riichi while it's got my interest #not like i need to write a strategy tome the game just needs a professional quality introduction #don't make me do it i absolutely will do it #i did it for ryuutama when no one wanted to give a decent publication-quality localization for the supplements #and by garriot i will do it for riichi mahjong too if no one gives me a quality guide. i aint afraid of a global high strategy game #<- manic #(im not manic im just extremely restless having not been able to do any solid design work in a while and this book is getting me riled up) #cause it's like “i could write such a more coherent rulebook and HAVE written a more coherent rulebook. so why don't i do it again?” #the Disease is why. but maybe I'll give it a shot anyways if i get a second wind (i guess im otakaze right now harharharhar)

[willowfey]

someone tell me to be brave and hit send on this email

#i wrote a story a long time ago that feels like it came from behind my ribs #and i’m about to send it to my author/publisher auntie #but. i’ve only let like. a few people in the world read this. and even tho they’ve all been lovely it makes my skin feel #too sensitive. u know what i mean? when ppl read my writing that isn’t fic. it makes my chest feel weird. like i’m sick #i don’t know why i want to be an author. well. yes i do but #anyway this is an auntie who has always thought the best of me even when she had no reason to. she was there at my birth #she’ll be there when I’M having kids. this is an Important Lady. #and she’s a wonderful writer and i just. #i never show anyone anything i’ve made or done bc i can’t bear the thought of being disappointing #i know it’s not a big deal but it is to me and if she tells me it’s just okay i think i’ll throw up possibly #i don’t want to prove her wrong. i don’t want to face the truth that i am not what she thought i’d be. #i know it’s just one little story and it doesn’t hold my entire worth i KNOW she will not be disappointed in me. so why can’t i hit send #WHY CANT I

[simptasia]

mum and i were almost not able to buy our house because a real estate lawyer heard us casually say i'm autistic and alarm bells went off in her head, because she believed that meant i wasn't mentally capable of understanding what i was signing up for

#and she demanded a doctors note. which not how any of this works #theres no policy that works like that AND gps are not the people who are like #''yup this person sure is a person alright'' #she just had heaps of prejudice and she let it affect her job #so a lady from one of those places that advocates for ND and disabled people tore her apart #she lost the 4000 dollars she was gonna be paid. and she got fired #and everybody else from that company that we spoke to was either appalled or pretending to be appalled about this #either way it worked out #i was so upset at the time because it was literally a week before it was time to move??? #and i was so afraid of us losing all our progress #plus. yeah i was hurt by the insinuations and the attempted disrespect to my agency #also even if i was cognitively disabled... i think cognitively disabled people deserve to own houses too #i was a fucking adult and i managed to get to every gosh forsaken appointment to sign forms #and then do it all again because what i was signing didn't match what was on my birth certificate! #...not my fault - turns out the nurse wrote my fucking name wrong #anyways. i was exhausted but i did it damn it. so that bitch trying to rob us of our home??? fuck her #6 years later and the house is now 100% mine instead of 50% #and im gonna assume that bitch never got a job in real estate again #she was totally cool with me until she heard the word ''autistic'' #and clearly pictured somebody... how do i put this... somebody with vacant eyes who smacks the side of their head when they're upset #not a bad thing by the way! hell i've been that flavour of autistic plenty of times. we contain multitudes!!!! #don't mean we don't deserve to own property. we live in a society!!! let us be a part of it #but yeah that was the most serious case of me being dehumanized due to what i am

[nomaishuttle]

sometimes u put yr playlist on shuffle a song comes up and you have to put another song in the queue immediately as soon as it comes on bc it makes you think of that song

#this is abt aura by ghost and pals Sry everytime i hear it im like a fiddle This is just like devil went down to georgia and then i have to #put devil went down to georgia in the queue #i think its a fiddle innit.. it sounds like a fiddle but im also NOTORIOUSLY bad at telling instruments apart. <- guy who once couldnt tell #if something was a guitar or a piano i actually rly rly rly rly dont wanna get into it okay. #i guess you didnt know it but i am a fiddle player too 😏😏 #sry. the other thing this post is abt is kiss me and ladies in their sensibilities sweeney. obviously those r connected #but if ladies in their sensibilities comes on by itself i quite literally couldnt be assed so everytime i have to put kiss me on instead an #add lits to the queue. bc them together is like the best song i ever heard its just that the beginning of lits is just kind of boring It #does get stuck i my head sometimes but the supreme part is the end thats Basically just a reprise of kiss me #but also theyre kind of the same song anyways at least o wowww i was just typing in tempo with the fiddle that was awesome. at least on the #2012 soundtrack aka the best one talk to the hand or dont i dont wanna hear it. well i do want to hear it it being the 2012 london cast #recording of sweeney todd starring michael ball and imelda staunton. ANYWAYS!! in that one the songs lead in to eachother #ive listened to all the other soundtracks but idr if they do that.. well ill tell u the movie doesnt bc it doesnt have kiss me. which is #just so. the johanna anthony romance doesnt rly have much substance in the first place and yr taking away like. their duet together. ok.... #AND yr taking away the end part of lits? the best part of that song? whatever its fine its fine. #if anybody is curious my ranking of casts is 2012 > obc > movie > 2006 i fucking hate 2006 or 2005 or whatever i hate it sm it makes my #blood literally boil im sry. i fucking LOATHE it idk what it is well i do but this post is already 5000000 years long. idt the new one is #out fully yet... i was ok with the songs i have heard but idk where id rank it yet. i should prolly check if the full things out yet omg so #me and my lampstie (way of saying my siblings name if theres something deeply wrong with you) can listen :]

[kittlyns]

I hate taking my dogs to the groomer soooooo bad, it gives me the worst anxiety ever

#I feel like they always judge me over every little thing #when they act too hyper or too shy or they pee in the kennel cuz they're excited/scared #if they have knots or if they smell weird #the last time I brought them for a bath the lady complained that they had dirt in their fur. #yeah that's why I brought them in for a bath..... they were rolling outside in the dirt?? #like am I supposed to be bringing them in perfectly groomed? I actually don't know what's expected of me #it just feels like I'm doing it wrong by their standards

[transgender-catboy]

Tempted to take a bath fully clothed because of how fucking done with everything I am today

#the lady at the foodbank was mean to me and then acted like it was my fault #i don't wanna be there!!! i don't like going there!!! it's always stressful. always. #so that. didn't. help #ugrh #vent #I've been working so hard to make it a not stressful experience #I've been making sure i got headphones on everytime. i make sure to listen to the person helping me. #and then i make sure to always be aware of my surroundings and what station I'm at #i fucking try #and then all that shit happened and the glaring and mixing up of stuff #it. it fucking sucked #it doesn't help that i went to bed late last night. energy drinks in the early ams will do that I guess #but last food trip was fine?! #i don't understand why it felt like everything was wrong this go around

[unganseylike]

shoutout to the not one not two but three bus drivers this afternoon who watched me full on run after them. and then get on without paying.

#so heres how i happened #i left work early for a dr appointment. my bus was five min late but whatever #it finally comes and then fucken drives right past me #I curse and this random lady is like what is wrong w that driver! but u cld probably catch it #so i run but it turns a corner. tragic. #the next bus for that route wld make me late for appt #i will never take an uber but i also dont wannabe late #so i check and see i can take a different bus. its stop is 7 min walk away but the bus is coming in a min #buses are usually late i think. so in my work clothes and backpack i fucking sprint #i am so out of shape. this is not an elegant sprint. #i see the bus at the corner but im too far away and my body hurts. theres no way #but i have a sudden burst of confidence and run across the street into the bus #i do not pay bc i forget in the moment and also i kinda always get on buses without paying oops #i am dying. my chest is heaving. the doctor probably thought i wasin death throes when i got there #anyway on my way back the bus stops at a different corner than im standing so i gotta run again. #and i forget to pay again #anyway my chest still hurts soooo thats definitely not normal👍🏻

[ilostyou]

oh i’m 😃 violently uncomfortable

#this lady in target just followed me for like. five minutes while i was walking around and stood there while i was looking at something #and only then did i realize the whole time she was talking it wasn’t on the phone or to someone else she was talking At me #and i’m just ! trying to look at a box of tea okay and she stops at the aisle and keeps talking and i was like ? sorry? #and then finally addresses me and starts saying something abt insulting her hair and something abt her daughter? #and i was like 🧍🏻‍♀️ i’m sorry i … didn’t say anything i’m not sure what you mean? (i did not say one single thing to this woman) #and she was like no i know you didn’t do anything wrong it’s just *looks me up and down* people Like You (???? excuse me???????) #and says something abt my ~energy~ insulting her or sm???? (i did not say a single word out loud until this i have no clue what’s going on) #and then! she’s like! so i thought this would be the perfect time to *unzips her hoodie* tell you about this school and orientation is soon #and starts going on aboht some ? elementary school? or something?? ?????????? #in conclusion she was not only not so well but also a missionary of some sort trying to spew things abt some presumably religious something #a something i am clesrly not interested in or a part of #wow that was . uncomfortable i am uncomfortable #rambling

[pepprs]

i think i need to go back to br*ghton and get my phd there im going to be SICK

#when i was there in 2020 a new centre had just opened at my host uni and i follow them on ig and i just saw the codirector do an intro post #AND WHY ARE WE LITERALY THE SAME PERSON AND WHY AM I LOOKING UP THE PHD PROGRAM SHE RUNS IN… WHATS IT CALLED… #ART AND CREATIVE PRACTICE????? I. AM. GOING. TO. BE. SICK. the way my heart is pounding and my stomach is flip flopping rn. omw to write her #an email and see if we can talk I DONT EVEN WANT A PHD BUT I DONT BUT I DO BUT I DONT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME #purrs #and they have conferences in FUCKING BRGIGHTON ABT WRTMAKING AND COMMUNITY BUILDING AKA THE EXACT THING IWANT TO DO. just say the word i #Will SWAN DIVE across the fucking pond right NEOW. good god help me. naur bc why are the opportunities for that kind of thing here so few an #and far between BUT I WAS THERE AND THIS WAS ALL HAPPENING AROUND ME AND I DIDNT EBEN KNOW IT FUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! #naur the way i am meant to be there and jsut stifling my true self probably just so i won’t r[redacted out of embarrassment]. LIKE HELP #<- ​ok well im not meant to be there im just um. 🤡. but i am thinking about it. i am Really thinking about it #also omg no bc what if i email this lady and she asks to see my research and i literally gave up halfway bc i was having a mental breakdown😭

[kkoraki]

this variety of person fascinates me:

introduces self & communicates with you via email & voice call for several weeks regarding an event starring you, including getting a professional bio and photo

sees you in person for the first time right before the event

upon being introduced immediately asks for your pronouns (doesn't give theirs)

"I usually ask everybody that right away I don't know why I didn't before!"

proceeds to introduce you at the event using pronouns you didn't say

#im like. lady. you realize it would have been LESS insulting multiple times over if you had just assumed #even if you assumed wrong... assuming wrong is pretty different from asking like you cared & then getting it wrong #also if u didnt blatantly lie about how you ask ''everyone'' for their pronouns. i know you dont i know how this goes #been getting singled out for interrogation regarding my gender by ppl who think they are progressive since college lol #its the ultimate in bullshit gestures to me at this point. next time i get asked i am just going to socratic method back to them #''what are yours?'' #self #IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO RESPECT THE ANSWER DO NOT ASK FOR PEOPLE'S PRONOUNS