#well it isn’t completely tidy but it’s organised for me to finish it off tomorrow

[soda-pop-kandy-krush]

girls will be like oh im so sleepy and then get the zoomies at 1:00AM and tidy the huge mess that’s been building up on the other side of their room

#it’s me i did it #well it isn’t completely tidy but it’s organised for me to finish it off tomorrow #fucking finally it was making me so depressed to look at it #and now i have room for my yoga mat to be laid out

[myhoneststudyblr]

every single student in the world has likely procrastinated at some point - i know i definitely have! sometimes i think it can be quite helpful because means that you don't spend every minute of every day studying... but on the other hand, it can become very hard to beat. there are so many advice posts in the community on this topic but i thought that i would share my own tips! 

disclaimer: everyone studies differently and these are my personal tips. they may not work for you but they can be a good starting point 

What is Procrastination?

i found this little summary of procrastinating on the internet and thought it completely covered everything that i wanted to say on this point:

Procrastination is the habit of delaying an important task, usually by focusing on less urgent, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It is different from laziness, which is the unwillingness to act.

Procrastination can restrict your potential and undermine your career. It can also disrupt teamwork, reduce morale, and even lead to depression and job loss. So, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent it.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to recognize that you're doing it. Then, identify the reasons behind your behavior and use appropriate strategies to manage and overcome it.

- How to Stop Procrastinating by Mindtools

so what is learnt from this is that:

procrastination is not being lazy 

it is avoiding tasks by doing other easier tasks

it can have negative effects

you need to proactively take steps to avoid it 

first, recognise the procrastinating then use strategies to break the cycle

Conventional Tips

these are the basic tips that are some of the most well-known strategies for ending procrastination and can be some of the most important steps!

1. get organised. tidy up your desk to study space because there is nothing worse than having to work in a place that is chaotic and mess. collect the information you need for the task, for example, notes you've made or a textbook. 

2. to-do lists are your friend. a lot of people (including me) really struggle with timetables for studying because it can seem really structured and there is no flexibility or real allowance for things that may crop up during the day (your food takes longer to cook, you have to unexpectedly do a task around the house, you get a really bad headache and need to take a break). in my opinion, to-do lists help solve this problem! you can clearly see the tasks that you want to get done for the day but you don't have stressful time constraints. personally, i always use todoist to keep track of everything. to-do lists also make it easier to break tasks down

3. break the task down. one of the biggest cause of procrastination is having a huge task or project ahead of you because it seems really daunting and where on earth are you even going to start? so break it down *completely*. in your to-do list, don't just write ‘german homework’, write down even task that you need to do within it and be specific: for example ‘pg. 11 ex 4a, 4b and 4c’, ‘textbook listening task on pg. 47′ and ‘250-word essay on social media in Germany’. breaking it down makes the tasks seem more attainable and when you’ve done one and you can cross it off your list, it gives you a boost to keep going

4. eliminate distractions. this is a big one. even if you do all of the above, if you are constantly being distracted by things, you aren't going to get much done. try to find a place that is quiet enough that you can focus and you feel comfortable studying in. as well as this you need to think about what to do with your phone as the likelihood is that this will be the most distracting thing. you can simply turn it off, put on do not disturb, leave it in another room or use and app like forest (that last one is what i use and i don't know where i would be without it!)

5. use incentives. finishing a task is an achievement so treat it like one! before you study, decide on something that you will give yourself as a reward for doing it. this may be watching that new episode of your favourite programme or a tasty snack! 

6. set timers. don't just launch yourself into a task, because that again can make it seem daunting and feel unending. rather, set a timer for a specific time because you’ll know that you just need to focus for that specific length of time and then you can go take a break and do something nice. for timing your study sessions, you could use the Pomodoro technique 

7. allow for breaks (but try to avoid long ones). you are not a machine and as much as it would be great to be able to, you cant study for hours on end without giving your mind a break from focusing. so schedule in break time for yourself, particularly for times that you know your motivation dips, and do something nice. but be very careful that you don't accidentally slip back into procrastinating habits and keep breaks short. unless you are very disciplined it is unlikely that an hour-long break will stay just an hour.

8. know how you study but don’t be afraid to mix it up. everyone studies differently and so there are going to be some study methods that work better for some than others. so try to make sure that you are studying smart and that you aren't wasting your own time cause that can be incredibly unmotivating. HOWEVER, if there is anything that I’ve learnt from online school its that doing the same task all the time, every day is mind-numbingly boring and you just want to do anything else. so try to switch up what you are doing. if you usually just type notes from the textbook, maybe try doing it in a mindmap one week, or on flashcards, maybe do some practise questions to keep your mind engaged. 

9. play music. now this one really depends on the person and how you study. some people need absolute silence and that is fine, but others need something to fill the silence or maybe cover up background noise (for example if you live in a busy household). try to pick music however that is not going to distract you - the key tips for this is to pick music without lyrics. this can be classical music, video game music, or general ‘chill’ music (there are so many playlists out there for chill studying music). i personally listen to Francesco Parrino religiously while studying because he does piano covers of pop songs, so i know the songs and enjoy them but there are no lyrics that can distract me 

10. stay hydrated, well-rested and not hungry. this is part of eliminating distractions because if you are thirsty, you are going to be thinking about how you want a drink; if you are tired, you are going to be thinking about how tired you are; if you are hungry, you are going to be thinking about what you want for lunch or whatever. make sure you are hydrated, well-rested and not hungry so you can focus solely on your task or work.

Unconventional Tips

these are some slightly more unusual tips that you might not have seen before but that I've nevertheless found very useful!

1. video yourself or do a timelapse. this is something that I’ve only recently done because i saw a tip on this from someone during my quarantine challenge and thought that it would be cool to do. and it really works! i did it twice once when i was typing notes and a second time when i was handwriting notes and it really made me focus on what is as doing because the video put some pressure on me to look like i was properly studying - i could take a 5-minute break in the middle of my work to mess around with my pen, I just had to keep going so it really forces you to do the work. also watching the video when i was done made me really proud cause i had visual proof of how much i completed!

2. accept that some days you are going to get very little done. this may seem a little bit odd to put on a post that is meant to avoid getting nothing done but it’s actually a very important thing to remember. sometimes you need to take days off because otherwise you are going to burnout and some days you are just not going to be in the right mindset for studying because maybe you are exhausted after a big exam, or you have a headache or you feel unwell. you just need to accept it, draw a line under it, take time for yourself, and resolve yourself to work tomorrow once you feel a bit better. there is no shame in taking time to make sure you stay healthy. if you can, try to get your quickest, easiest task done so you have some sense of accomplishment.

3. ‘churn it out and f**k off’. this was my mum’s motto when she was studying and working in academia. and she recently told it to me when i was getting stressed about all the big tasks during online school. i am a perfectionist and i always want to hand in my very best work, put 100% into everything, but honestly that is impossible. some days you just need to get stuff done and if that isn't your very best then it doesn't matter too much because at least you got it done. and once you get it done you can just forget about it.

4. ask a friend or parent to check up on you. when you are studying by yourself it can be hard to motivate yourself because you know that no ones actually going to check whether you made those votes or did the reading, so ask a friend or someone you live with to check whether you've done the work or get them to read essays. you then get an external reason to study or do your tasks because you need to show them something.

5. rephrase how you think of tasks. when you think that ‘you need to do this task’ or ‘you have to get this done’, a lot of the time this causes unneeded stress and anxiety that is not going to help you at all. also it makes it seem like you are being forced to do something and human beings generally don't act great when they are forced to do something. so try to change your language when thinking about task into one that is more forgiving such as ‘i choose to do this project so that i can go meet my friends tomorrow’ and ‘i choose to read this book now because it will help me in the lecture next week’. this is probably the most difficult strategy on this list and it will take a lot of practice (i am certainly still practising it) but in the long term, it can help you change the way in which you view studying for the better. 

✨✨✨

i hope this was helpful and that these tips will be useful, and perhaps you've discovered some new ones! if anyone has anything to add please feel free to reply or reblog with the advice <3

#how to stop procrastinating #procrastination #studyblr #my advice #sophie speaks #me #mine #student #study motivation #motivation #study advice #studying #study tips #high school #university #myhoneststudyblr #studyblr support #problematicprocrastinator #heypat #adelinestudiess #eintsein #einstetic #heycoral #stuhde #philologystudies #idiotacademia #studyvan #bentostudy #elleandhermione #sonderstudy

[xxx-cat-xxx]

heaven forbid (you end up alone)

Two years on and I'm still not over Endgame. But at least I finally finished this fic!

A word of warning; this one is Endgame-compliant and centred around the topic of grief and Pepper’s and Happy’s friendship in the aftermath of Tony’s death.

Major thanks to @twentyghosts​ for beta reading.

*

Throughout her life, Pepper has always divided her days into small pieces, regulated by meticulous plans. She can’t remember ever waking up without a mental―or written―to-do list and a clear idea in which order to tackle it. It’s her way of managing a multinational company. Of managing Tony, which was arguably more challenging than SI’s 300,000 other employees combined. Of managing her own alien-invaded, super power-sprinkled, increasingly absurd life. 

And whenever things get overwhelming and she feels like she’s falling into a bottomless, desperate pit, that’s what she does: plans the next 30 minutes, and then the 30 minutes after that, and so on until it’s one thirty am and she is tired enough to fall into bed without having to think about anything except what’s ticked off on the list and what’s left for tomorrow. 

That’s what she does now, seven weeks after her husband’s death. 

This Saturday is booked for tidying up the closets. There is no need to keep Tony’s clothes, other than a few special ones for memory’s sake, the band shirts and the ones with the science puns she still likes to sleep in. And it would be a waste to wait any longer to donate them: even two months on, there is more than enough need out in the streets due to the chaos that came on after the reverse. 

Homeless people wearing 5000 dollar suits, that would have been to Tony’s taste. 

Pepper has cleared her schedule well in advance, picked a weekend Morgan can stay with Rhodey, already ordered the Dress for Success pick-up for the next morning. Made a plan of action, starting with the top floor. 

All that’s left now is to do it.

“Okay, Virginia,” she tells herself. The name feels unfamiliar on her tongue, but maybe she needs this, needs the reminder that she had a life before Tony Stark and, as horrible as it sounds, will have one after him. “Get up. Drink some water. Go through the closets.” 

It’s just that she can’t. 

She enters the bedroom, their bedroom, her bedroom, opens the cupboard. And then she stands in front of it for almost twenty minutes, unable to bring herself to move. 

Finally, her legs grow a bit weak under her and she has to sit down on the floor, less and less successfully fighting the feeling that the air around her is completely devoid of oxygen. She can’t breathe. She can’t get up. She can’t walk over to the closet and get started with the next item on her list―it’s as if there’s an invisible barrier between her and the task. She just can’t. 

It takes her almost 45 minutes before she finally calls Happy.

*

Much like Tony, Pepper is someone who distracts herself with work, and looking after Morgan, organising the funeral and getting the Stark Foundation into motion to set up shelters for four million Returned without a place to go have been tasks so time-consuming that she didn’t have any other option than just to function, and function well. Almost well enough to trick herself into believing that she’ll be fine.

Sometimes she wonders whether she has become so good at perfecting the image she shows to the public that she doesn’t even know anymore who she actually is. 

“Hey.” 

She hadn't noticed Happy’s presence until he is standing in the doorframe. 

“Happy,” she greets, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears. 

“Oh, Pepper.” He looks her up and down, his expression equal parts sad and kind. “Come on. Let’s get you up from the floor.” 

She pushes away his hands helping her up, she doesn’t need them, doesn’t need any help, but then the world blurs suddenly and she kind of does. Happy steadies her when she sways, alarmed but not as surprised as she’d want him to be. It would irritate her, on normal days, because she can take care of herself, doesn’t need anyone to hold her, thank you very much. But today she is just a bit too tired to pretend. 

"Have you eaten?" he asks, voice still too warm when he guides her over to the bed and sits her down. 

“I had...tea this morning.”

“And last night?” 

She is silent. He sighs, and she deflects, “Haven’t had much of an appetite lately.”

“Alright, I’ll go find us some food. Just stay here.”

“Thanks, Happy,” she says quietly. 

He sighs again. “It’s alright. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I’m just glad I’m here.” 

She nods. She knew it too, that she wouldn’t be able to distract herself forever, even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself. But that’s the thing. She wasn’t afraid of it happening, only of the After―of things calming down and her having to deal with the lonely, horrible, rest of her life. Of realising that the inevitable breakdown doesn’t help a single bit. That picking up the pieces is not in the least easier than keeping them together.

*

Happy returns 15 minutes later with a big bag of cavity-inducing gas station doughnuts, sprinkles and all. The mere thought of biting into one makes Pepper’s stomach roll. 

“I’m not sure I can eat those,” she tells him when he sits next to her on the bed and leans against the headboard. 

“Just try.” 

She does, fighting down the looming nausea, and, surprisingly, the sweetness helps. She breathes out, one and a half doughnuts and a small bottle of orange juice later, and finds that her head feels clearer. 

“Morgan would love this,” she observes, nodding at the rest of the treats. “She’s been trying to bully me into making her waffles for breakfast every single morning of the last whole month.” 

“So, did she succeed?”

Pepper shakes her head. “It’s bad for her health. But she keeps throwing tantrums. I know it’s because of what happened, but god, she's been so difficult. The way she shouts at me, sometimes I think she hates me.”

Happy sets down his reusable coffee cup and looks straight at her. “She doesn't, Pepper." 

She can’t stop herself from snorting. “How would you possibly know?”

“I can see the way she looks at you. Looks up to you. She adores you.”

“I…” Pepper bites her lip, unable to decide whether that’s something she wants to share. Life has taught her that it’s usually better to keep your weaknesses to yourself if you want to stay on top. But then, it’s not like there is any competition of people wanting to parent her daughter. “I don’t know about that. I know she misses Tony, but I also feel that she misses...a parent who knows how to handle her. I’m not―sometimes I’m afraid I’m not a very good mother.”

“That’s not true, Pep, and you know it.”

She takes a deep breath. “I never wanted to have children, Happy. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want Morgan, once we decided in favour of me getting pregnant. And I never regretted having her. But it was mostly Tony who pushed for this, who needed this. He has - had - a way with kids...you know, I can be strict, but he can―could―get her to do what is necessary without even having to raise his voice. And sometimes I just wonder―what if I ruin it, Happy? She only has me.”

“Firstly, that’s not true. Rhodey and I are here for you too. You got your sister, and I’m sure Peter would be more than happy to babysit as well. There’s more than biological parents for a kid, you know that better than anyone, right?” 

She nods, hesitantly.

“And secondly,” he continues, “You are doing great under the circumstances. Nobody is born a parent. But if you’re good at anything, then it is to adapt to difficult situations. You can do this, Pepper.”

“Yeah, I know… I know I can.”

And that’s exactly the point. Pepper has always pulled through. Everyone expects her to keep functioning, and she isn’t one to miss people’s expectations. But sometimes she wonders if she’s still alive in there.

*

They finish up the doughnuts and start tackling the clothes. It goes surprisingly smoothly, and Happy even coaxes a few hesitant chuckles out of her when he fishes a gold-glittery mankini and a few other special-occasion items out of the far corner of Tony’s wardrobe. They are three boxes in and have moved one floor down when Pepper takes a break to pee and wash the dust off her face in the guest bathroom.

Tony’s shaver is lying on the edge of the sink. He must have been shaving here the day he left for the compound, likely because Pepper or Morgan were using the upstairs bathroom, and left it there. She always tells him to put it back in the cupboard and he always forgets―forgot. She picks it up, ready to put it where it belongs, when it hits her. 

It’s futile. It’s a personal shaver of a man who’s never going to need one again. Nobody’s ever going to use this particular shaver again. She could just as well throw it away. 

Pepper feels anger burn hot and fierce in her chest. She opens her mouth, to scream, maybe, but all that comes out is a broken sob. 

Happy must have been listening for her from the other room, because he is there in an instant. She turns away, reflexively hiding the tears on her face, but he stops her.

“Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay to cry.”

“I need to―I don’t have time―”

“I think we can clear fifteen minutes in your schedule for a breakdown, right?” Happy teases, the smallest of smiles on his face although he looks close to tears himself.

A memory strikes, and she chuckles through the sobs, then cries harder. 

“What’s it?”

“That’s just the kind of thing he would have said.”

“Oh, Tony,” Happy smiles sadly.

“I just―I miss him so much, Happy. It’s―It’s all the small things―his shaver―the tinkering and the empty pizza boxes everywhere and the never-ending cups of coffee and the way he just keeps on talking, to his bots and to me and Morgan―and―” she runs out of breath. 

“I know. I miss him too.”

“You know, the way he used to stick his tongue between his teeth when he was concentrating and not realising anyone was around? Morgan did the same recently while drawing, and I just―sometimes I just can’t―”

“You can do it, Pepper. If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you. You are strong.”

Pepper laughs, but it sounds shrill and false in her ears. 

“People say that all the time, you know? And the worst thing―you know what the worst thing is?”

Happy shakes his head.

“The worst thing is, it’s true. You know, early into the relationship I was thinking that I can’t live without him. I was so, so scared something would happen to him, so I tried to stop him from being Iron Man… And then we took a break, and he ended up half-dead in Siberia, and at that time I realised that yes, I can live without him. It just wasn’t a life I wanted to live. And now―thinking that I have to do this every day, it’s just―it’s like someone is sitting on my chest and strangling me, over and over again.”

She hears Happy swallow hard, then he shuffles closer and wraps his arms around her, pulling her close. One of the bear hugs that got her through the time when Tony was in Afghanistan and both of her parents died in the span of three months, that got Tony through his panic attacks, and Morgan through some of her nightmares. 

She feels water drop onto her neck, and she knows Happy is crying too. 

*

They do finish the clothes before nightfall, because Pepper has always been awfully good at ticking off to-do lists, even on the worst days. When they are done, they get a bottle of red wine from the cellar and empty it in Tony’s honour, sitting near the lake where Pepper and Tony once spent a whole night just after they bought the house getting eaten by mosquitos, when they decided to turn it from a temporary recovery getaway into a home for as long as time would grant them. 

Morgan took her first steps here, had her first fall, cried buckets in Pepper’s arms while Tony put a band-aid on the scratch on her elbow, and Pepper remembers thinking how little children know of pain. A few steps below Pepper laid the arc reactor to water, holding the hand of the girl who now knew so, so much of it; and sometimes she doesn’t know if she wants to preserve the place forever or burn it all down. 

They sit and drink and at some point Pepper closes her eyes, and through the buzz of alcohol she can almost imagine that Tony is in the garage, finishing up a project before joining them for the night. 

She thinks of him with love, with tenderness, with unforgiving pain.

She wonders if it will ever get easier. She wonders if she even wants it to be.

*

They go to bed at two. Happy takes the guest room where Tony’s shaver is now lying at the bottom of a dust bin. Pepper lies wide awake, her window open, listening to the familiar sounds of life far away from the city. 

She will fall asleep eventually, facing away from the empty side of the bed. She will wake up at six, a little hungover, force herself to start the day with yoga and a run. Will call Dress for Success to make sure they get to the house on time, will oversee the pick-up. Will have breakfast with Happy so he doesn’t have to worry about her passing out when he gets on his way. Will sit through an SI video conference until it’s time to pick up Morgan, maybe take her to the mall or to see a movie on the way back home from Rhodey’s. Will make her dinner, give her a bath, put her to bed on time, if possible without a tantrum. Will tackle her email inbox until a headache will force her to bed. Will make a plan for Monday, another Monday without Tony, before falling asleep. Will wake up and face that one too.

Rinse and repeat, one day at a time.

*

All my fics

All my Pepperony fics

#pepperony moments #mcd #(canonical) #pepper potts needs a hug #happy hogan gives her one #remembering tony #thanks to everyone who gives this a try despite the heavy topic! #i appreciate you

[time-to-be-awesome]

A day in the life of Amy

Thursday 14th May 2020

Note - I know this is very long and I hope it doesn’t come across as self-obsessed. I was inspired by the Refinery29 Money Diaries which I find fascinating. I love getting a real insight into other people’s lives so maybe other people will find this interesting? Even if they don’t I know I’ll be glad to have this snapshot of this time in my life to look back on later.

I am 28 years old and live in Yorkshire, England. I live on my own in a rented 1 bedroom flat. I am a mental health social worker but have been working from home during lockdown. I am currently trying to lose weight and get fitter. This is a day in my life.

7:30am Alarm goes off. I spend a couple of minutes checking the BBC coronavirus morning update whilst I wake up. Have a big glass of chilled water and take my tablets for my underactive thyroid. I get dressed into workout leggings and a baggy t-shirt, put on a hoody and a light coat. I make a coffee in my travel mug.

8:00am I set off on my morning walk. The rules were changed this week so I can now exercise outside for an unlimited amount of time, whereas I was previously having to stick to once a day for about an hour. I am very lucky to live close to a big area of interconnected woods and fields that are public access. People have been painting stones and leaving them along the side of the footpaths. There are new ones almost every day, and other people move them to make it a sort of treasure hunt. There isn’t a cloud in the sky and I feel my spirits lift immediately as I walk in the sun and drink my coffee. I listen to the birdsong and as I get to a remote patch of brambles I walk very slowly and quietly. I’m rewarded with the sight of 12 wild rabbits grazing and hopping about before they inevitably spot me and scurry away.

8:50am I get back home. I tracked the walk on the Mapmywalk app and it tells me I burnt 258 calories, but the main benefit is getting the fresh air and a positive start to my day. I make my regular breakfast – one protein weatabix with milk, low-fat greek yoghurt, a chopped banana, mixed berries, and a sprinkle of a seed mix.

9:00am I set up my work laptop on my dining table and log in. I finish eating my breakfast whilst going through my emails and making a to-do list for the day. My first task is to write up a review that I did recently with a service user. It was a very positive review, they have been building their independence and can now manage their daily life with much less involvement from carers. I phoned the care agency to check their rates and then update the support plan with the new lower weekly cost. I call the service user to let them know that the change has been made and we agree that it is time for me to end my involvement. I spend the rest of the morning writing a closing summary of all the case work I have done with them since I was allocated a year ago.

12:15pm I’m already in my workout clothes so I get out my exercise mat and use my lunch break to complete day 2 of Chloe Ting’s Summer Shred Challenge. Today there are four videos including the warm up and cool down and it takes me an hour in total. I mostly do the modified versions but even following the video I can’t begin to fathom how to do a side plank hip abduction! I take sips of water throughout and by the time I’ve finished I’ve drunk two pints. I don’t have a fitness tracker so I don’t track the calories burnt by these workouts.

1:15pm Lunch break is technically over, but working from home has to have some perks and I think a bit of flexibility on working hours is one of those. I have a quick shower and get changed into my ‘day’ leggings and baggy t-shirt. I don’t have to do any video calls so there’s no need to look professional and its comfort all the way. I make my lunch – cut up veggies with hummus, some rice crackers and a triangle of cheese. I’ve very hungry by now so eat quite quickly. Not satisfied so I also have a packet of sweet chilli multigrain wave crisps and a glass of diet cloudy lemonade.

1:35pm I log back on to my laptop. Unfortunately three of my service users have passed away from Covid-19 in the past few weeks so I email the team admin so the records can be updated with their date of death. I had spent a lot of one to one time with one of the gentleman and I feel upset and guilty that he passed away after moving to a care home that I had helped organise. I ring his son to offer my condolences and share a happy memory of the gentleman.

2:00pm I phone a placement to follow up a safeguarding referral. A service user was given an extra dose of medication, but it didn’t have any negative effect and the managers have discussed it with the staff member responsible. Determined that no further action was needed. Discussed how the placement was going in general and there were no other issues and no further role for me. I’d been due to close the case anyway so I wrote up another closing summary.

3:30pm I decide I need a snack, partly because I’m hungry but also because I want a bit of a break. I’ve been using up the food I had in the house so I don’t have many options and go for two digestive biscuits. I start typing up a mental capacity assessment that I completed over the phone. The service user in question isn’t able to make the decision themselves whether they should have home care or not. Part of the job is making the decision of what is in the person’s best interest and they don’t always agree with that. This has caused a lot of issues for this person in the past and I’m not feeling very optimistic about their situation.

4:30pm My concentration has gone out the window. I start thinking about what I’ll make for dinner. I usually make a batch of something on a Monday that’s enough for 4 or 5 portions and I just have to heat it up, but I’ve already run out of my last batch cook. I have most of the ingredients for a bean pot so make a shopping list of the other things I’ll need.

5:00pm I log off from my work laptop, switch my leggings for jeans, and head out for another walk. I want to put some space between my work day and my free time. Whilst I’m walking I phone my mum and we have a good 45 minute catch up. She hadn’t been feeling very well and said talking to me really cheered her up so I’m glad I did.

5:45pm I go to the supermarket on the way home. My closest store is a Lidl and it’s generally pretty well stocked now that everyone has stopped panic buying. I get the ingredients I need, as well as some bits for breakfasts and lunches, and I impulse bought a house plant. Total spend was £22.37. When I get back home the Mapmywalk app tells me that I burnt 338 calories.

7:00pm I put the shopping away and sat down for a second and suddenly it’s 7. I start making the bean pot following a random recipe I found online. Don’t realise until it’s too late that it calls for 50 minutes of simmering time, but that is a fairly typical move for me. Whilst I’m waiting I put some laundry away and have a general tidy up.

9:00pm Dinner is finally ready! I created it as a recipe on Myfitnesspal and it came out as 700 calories per portion. In total today I’ve eaten 1551 calories and burnt 596 through exercise. I eat my dinner whilst watching Lucy Wood’s latest youtube video. Her videos honestly feel like catching up with a friend, even if that does make me sound like an internet weirdo!

9:30pm I put on an ASMR video from TingTing ASMR. The soft whispering and trigger sounds are very relaxing and the best ones make my scalp tingle. I’d jotted down some notes about my day as I went along so I make them into this post. If I hadn’t spent so long making dinner I probably would have watched a Disney film. I’m watching the Disney Classics in order and the next one will be Sleeping Beauty.

10:30pm I’m going to put this post on tumblr then put my laptop and phone away so I don’t get too distracted. I’ll read for about 30 minutes, my current book is ‘Once upon a river’ by Dianne Setterfield. I usually end up going to sleep 11- 11:30pm, ready to do it all again tomorrow!

#a day in my life #what i eat #workout #chloe ting challenge

[blinder-baker]

Carnations | II

Alfie Solomons x Reader

Synopsis - Alfie steps up as a boss

Warnings - Swearing, I think that’s it

Word Count - 2052

Previous part

You smiled at him and averted your eyes from his gaze.

“Now, you do a lot a’ good work ‘ere and it is your right, yeah, to feel safe in the workplace,” His voice was soft and mellow, comforting even. 

“As your boss, I have clearly failed at providing that,” He leant over his desk, hands folded over one another.

“Mr Solomons, it’s fine, I’m used to men thinking that they can - not that all men are… I’m sure you’re not…” You gushed, your mouth drying up. You were making a fool of yourself. Was your face flushing? 

He hid his grin behind a furrowed brow,

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off, eh petal? Get some rest,” He suggested, waving you away with a flick of his hand. 

He felt guilty that such an incident occurred, right outside his office, to such a gentle person. He was certain you didn’t have a bad bone in your body. Not that he had talked to you much and never about anything other than work. But he bargained that he knew a lot more about you, than you knew about him.

“Thank you, sir, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” You smoothed down your skirt as you stood up. You left the office, unaware that he followed you to the door. Alfie watched you shrug your coat on and grab your purse. 

You didn’t hesitate to look back, lest he change his mind. This time, the men looked up when they heard your footsteps against the stone floor. Some seemed angry about the bollocking they had received, others apologetic, some even shameful.  You were grateful to escape into the sunlight of the street and away from the prying eyes. 

Once you had left, Alfie went to look at your desk. The empty vase looked pitiful and the desk lacked that feminine touch that he so often thought you brought. It was still tidy though, you always kept the space clean. He liked that. It underlined the respect you had for the workplace. You were very skilled at what you did. Maybe it didn’t take a genius to be a secretary, but there was a certain duty of care. Never before did he have a single employee that helped to run the company so smoothly. 

He picked up the book from your desk, examining the leather carefully, before thumbing through the pages. Mr Solomons tucked it under his arm before returning back to his office. If he felt bad before, he felt even worse now as he skimmed through the pages. He scanned a page every so often. He would read one of the poems, some were happy, dark, there were a few hinting at romance. This was an invasion of privacy. He was unsure whether to put it back on the desk and pretend that no one had noticed it. Or maybe he should talk to you about it, make sure you were okay. 

The next morning started off surprisingly well. You ate a hearty breakfast and picked out one of your favourite dresses to wear. It was a jade green frock with a plunging neckline, maybe it was a bit fancy for work but you felt like treating yourself. A light shade of pink lipstick and a hairpin to match your dress, and your outfit was complete. You looked good today, you allowed yourself that. 

You struggled locking the door, again. It was a sticky lock that needed fixing. In fact, a lot of things needed fixing about your flat; the kitchen had a leaky tap, some of the floorboards were loose and the next-door neighbour couldn’t mind her own business. But the main thing was, it was cheap to rent. It wasn’t like you were paid an inadequate amount at the bakery, but the economy was getting worse by the year. That and it was far too easy to spend money on food, gifts and other essentials. 

It was a relatively warm day, especially for spring so you decided to leave your coat behind and make the most of the sun on the way to work. You were certain that today would be better than yesterday. Everything had been sorted out. Everything was fine.

You smiled to yourself as your heels clicked against the floor, once again the men ignored you. You prefered it like this - with no disturbances to your routine

At your desk was a bouquet of flowers. Orchids, hyacinths, and gardenias. There was also a new crystal vase, it looked more expensive than the one you had previously bought. You suppressed your grin as you delved into the bunch, looking for a note. 

A little card was tied to the stems, 

For your troubles - AS

A gift from Mr Solomons was not what you were expecting when you woke up this morning, but a pleasant surprise nonetheless. You took the old vase off the desk, hiding it next to your purse before pushing the new version in its place. 

There was a new pile of paperwork on top of your desk, threatening to topple over. Whoever placed it there this morning had left it on a slant. You could’ve rolled your eyes as you reached your hand under the ream of paper, you pulled out the offending object. It was your notebook. You must have left it here yesterday. You could feel yourself flush as you stuffed it into the drawer, had anyone read it? You hoped not. You prayed no one had noticed it. Trying to put it out of your mind, you examined the first page of the pile. You breathed a sigh of relief, they were just business notes that needed typing up. Not another trip to the record room, at least not yet. 

As per usual, it was Ollie’s neat scrawl, it was easy to read and organised. Much like Ollie himself. By the time you had finished the first section of the pile, you were parched. The perfect time for a tea break, and an opportunity to thank Mr Solomons for the flowers. 

You hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door, 

“Yeah?” Alfie called out, 

You twisted the brass handle and pushed it open slightly,

“I was just wondering whether you’d like a cup of tea?” You offered, feeling your face heat up a bit. The man seemed taken aback by that, at least he was not expecting it. After all, Ollie usually brought him drinks when he wanted. 

“Yeah, yeah, that’d be nice,” 

His hair was still fluffed up from where he was wearing his hat earlier and there are dark circles under his eyes. You often thought he worked too much, he was here before you were and he left later. He was staring at you, you noticed. Actually, you were staring at him. You looked down at the floor, rubbing your hand over your elbow before backing out of the room. You let the door close and you shook your head at yourself. How could you be so awkward? 

The break room was empty, so there's no awkward interaction there. It's less of a break room, more of a small kitchen with an equally small table. No one ever sat in there, at least you didn’t think so. Most of the men went to the pub for their lunch break, preferring a pint of bitter over a sandwich. You left the kettle on the stove to boil, then began the search for biscuits. The cupboards were bare, apart from one opened packet. You tested one to make sure they weren’t stale before placing two on Alfie’s saucer and two on your own. 

You walked back to the office ever so carefully, a porcelain cup in each hand. You abandoned one on your desk. You knocked lightly on the office door, before pushing it open without waiting for an answer. Much to your surprise, in the few minutes you were gone, he had a visitor. You smiled apologetically at your boss before the man turned around. 

Mr Hayes…

You felt your mouth go dry and your hand begin to quiver. He grinned at you, clearly having not faced any consequences for the events the day before. Ignore him, you told yourself. You were better than him, he couldn't do anything to you - not with Mr Solomons here. You took a deep breath, and put the cup of tea on his desk. 

“Thank you, Y/N,” 

“Not a problem, Mr Solomons,” 

He touched your hand gently, 

“It’s Alfie, petal, jus’ Alfie,” 

Mr Hayes seemed entirely bored of the interaction, he inspected one of the biscuits before devouring it in one bite. He leaned in close to you,

“Do I not get a cup of tea, sweetheart?” He sneered, his eyebrows knitted together. You weren’t sure whether you were supposed to answer him, without ruining his business with Alfie, at least. You remained silent for a moment too long, your throat stiff as if it had been filled with concrete.

“Only the bosses get tea, mate,” Alfie answered for you, a low rumble yet threatening. “Off you pop love, go fetch Ollie for me, would’ya?”

You didn’t feel the need to hesitate as you scurried off as quick as you could. 

It took you a while to find him. You checked the break room, the records room, finally you went through the workers asking if they’d seen him. 

‘Running errands’

‘Popped out for a bit’

‘Out for lunch’

All were answers that you weren’t happy with. Nor would Alfie be. You walked back to his office, dragging your feet at your failure. Ollie never usually took lunch breaks, if he did, they were usually still in the building or with Alfie. 

You didn’t reach the office, however, before you found a reason to stop. At your desk, yet again, was Mr Hayes. He leant against the wood, watching you walk up. He waved one of the biscuits from your saucer at you.

“It’s funny how, yesterday, business was going… swimmingly. But today, Mr Solomons isn’t interested. Now, did you have something to do with that?”  He interrogated, taking a bite into the biscuit and spewing crumbs onto the floor. 

Your answer got caught in your throat, choking on anxiety. Instead, you shook your head. You wished someone else was witnessing this, the effect this horrible man had on you. 

He repeated your actions mockingly, he thought you were pitiful and helpless. You could see it in his eyes. 

“So, if tea is for the bosses, how come you have a cup?” He quizzed, an eyebrow cocked. He lifted the dainty cup up in the air. It was probably cold now, you never had the chance to drink it. Mr Hayes tutted at you before pouring it over your new flowers. 

Your mouth gaped as you rushed to the desk, checking the flowers, which were now stained a light brown. You forgot your fear and instead were filled with rage. Your precious flowers from Alfie. You pushed him away from the desk, but instead of falling, he grabbed onto your elbows and pulled you down with him. 

You fell onto your hands and knees, scraping them on the rough stone. He was up quicker than you, giving you a swift kick to your side. As if he was punishing a young pup for their misbehaviour, you yelped as you braced yourself, reaching for the desk to pull yourself up. 

Alfie burst out the door, already growling at the man. He pulled him away by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the nearest wall. He did it again, and again, and again. Until the wall was smeared with blood. Alfie let go when he was finished, and Mr Hayes’ body crumpled like paper. Alfie was not startled by his own violence and was quick to help you up.

“Did he hurt you, petal?” His hands enclasped your own and he stooped down to look you in the face. Your eyes were wide with shock, like a deer caught in the headlights. You stuttered the start of your sentence, failing to speak at all. 

His blood stained thumb brushed against your cheek, his eyes boring a hole into your face. He pulled you into a bone crushing hug. His arms felt right around your body, you melted into his embrace.

“I’m alright, Alfie,” You whispered against his shoulder. He grumbled in disagreement,

“Fuckin’ hell, ave gotta keep a better eye on ya, ain’t I?”

Taglist: @the-blue-tiefling @picassho-18 @marvelgirl7 @tomhardy41

#peaky blinders x reader #alfie solomons x reader #carnations #fluff #tom hardy x reader

[sophiainspace]

The Arsonist & the Mayor

Coldwave Week Day One

The Flash/Legends of Tomorrow fanfic

Day Prompt: ‘Opposites Attract’

With: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart

Also featuring: Gary Green (the sweetie who invaded this fic out of nowhere)

Tags: Fluff and angst, But mostly fluff, Politics (just in the background)

2085 words

On AO3 here

It’s late in the evening when Mayor Snart emerges, his briefcase under his arm as he comes through the door that separates his inner office from the outer one. At the desk, his secretary seems to be under a pile of papers. “Good afternoon, Gary,” the mayor says as he passes the desk. “Hope you’ve had a good day.”

“Everything is entirely under control, Mr Snart,” Gary says in a tone that he probably thinks is reassuring, but isn’t. 

Gary dumps his pile of papers on the desk so that he can beam at his boss. “Would you like to hear tomorrow’s agenda before you go home, Mr Snart? I have it all here.” He starts rifling through yet more stacks of papers on his desk.

Leonard sighs. “Sure,” he says. He half-leans on the desk in a pose that manages to look both professional and casual. “Do tell all, Gary.”

“I will as soon as I can find - where is it - ah!” Gary drags a diary out from under the pile of papers.

Leonard arches an eyebrow. “Gary, have you thought of going paperless?” he asks, trying very hard not to sound as sardonic as he wants to.

“No, no. No need. I have everything under control,” Gary replies, in a tone just this side of panic. “Erm. So. After your 9 a.m. meeting with the Central City Environmental Committee - you have prepared, haven’t you, Mr Snart? Because I’m sure you remember how Dr McGee felt about your response to her solar technologies proposal last week...”

“As I recall, she called me an undereducated clown,” the mayor says, nodding.

“And you’re due to drop in on the symposium on waste and recycling from 11 til 12.30.”

“Sounds fascinating,” Leonard replies through a yawn.

“And then you’re meeting with Police Commissioner Singh at 1pm, and I know you remember that Mayor Queen is coming in from Star City at 3pm, and you’ve got the District Attorney at 5pm. And, of course, the Children’s Leukemia Trust charity ball is at 8pm. You won’t forget that, now, will you Mr Snart?”

Leonard’s eyes have been steadily rolling further and further into the back of his head throughout Gary’s infodump. “Gary, I’m thinking about retiring and opening a coffee shop,” he says as Gary finishes.

“I’m sure you don’t mean that, Mr Snart,” Gary says from under the table, where he’s ducked down to retrieve the diary he just dropped.

He sighs. “Don’t worry. I’m sure I won’t mean it at 9 a.m. tomorrow.”

Gary’s head pops out from under the table, and he regards the mayor from the floor. “Oh, by the way, Mr Snart,” he says. “Did you want me to tell the organisers the name of your plus-one for the ball?”

Leonard leans harder against the desk and avoids Gary’s eyes. “Oh, I think I’ll probably be attending alone, Gary,” he says, aiming for an uninterested tone. “As usual.”

Gary’s look is a little pitying for Leonard’s taste. “That’s a shame, Mr Snart. But then, I guess you’re just too busy to meet a nice lady, aren’t you?” He pauses, gets no response, and apparently decides to risk trying that again. “Or man, of course. Or any nice person, of any gender at all, really.”

They play this game rather a lot, and Leonard isn’t sure if he’s currently winning or losing. “Exactly,” he drawls in reply. “So busy.” Before Gary can emerge from under the desk, Leonard escapes through the door into the hallway. He leaves the door open so he can call behind him, “Thanks for everything, Gary. And do send my regards to your nice young man, won’t you?”

Gary, who has now managed to resume his seat, perks up. “Do you mean my chain-smoking, hard-drinking, rather eccentric young man, Mr Snart?” he calls back.

“That’s the one,” Leonard shouts from the elevator, as the doors close.

-     -     -

A stream of blue moonlight dapples the blankets in Mayor Snart’s apartment bedroom, filtering in through the skylight above the bed.

Leonard is curled around a sleeping Mick, his head tucked against the back of Mick’s neck, feeling the quiet, familiar rise and fall of his chest. As he quietly begins to extract himself, there’s the too-late signal of sudden motion beneath him. “Mmph,” Mick grunts.

“Damn. Go back to sleep.”

A hand grabs his arm as he makes to leave. “Dun’ go.”

“Gotta use the facilities, Mick,” he laughs. “Two minutes. I’m not going anywhere.”

On Leonard’s return, Mick is sitting up in bed, playing with his lighter. Flickering orange and yellow. Flame on; flame off. “‘Facilities,’” he mocks. “You used to say ‘piss’ like normal folks. That mayor job has ruined you.”

Sliding back into bed, and wrapping himself around him again, Leonard says, “People change, Mick.”

“Right,” Mick mumbles, turning away. “You sure did.”

Leonard gives him a squeeze. “Come on, Mick. Let’s not have this argument again.”

“Fine.”

They lie in silence again for a few minutes, Leonard tracing patterns across Mick’s chest, Mick lying back and letting him. “Can you believe I have to go to a fucking charity ball tomorrow?” Leonard blurts out. He regrets it immediately.

Mick grins, though. “With tuxes and shit?”

“Uh-huh. And dinner, and some kind of jazz band, and I’m presenting an award to… I forget who. Some community stalwart.”

“Who do you even take with you to fancy shit like that?”

Leonard shrugs against Mick. “Was supposed to be a visiting dignitary from our twin city in Sweden. Did you know Central has a twin city in Sweden called Centrala Staden? Laughed so hard when I heard, I had to put down the phone and walk away from the conference call for a sec. But her trip has been cancelled.”

Mick takes a deep breath that Leonard can feel. “And none of your other guys or gals are good enough to be seen in public with you either, I take it?”

Leaning back and raising his eyebrows at him, Leonard says, “Exactly how many guys and gals do you think I have, Mick?”

He slides out of Leonard’s grasp, returning his focus to the click-clack, the sputtering little orange fire. “How many more do you need? You got me at your beck and booty-call anytime you want. I’m not good enough to be seen out with you, though.”

Leonard sighs, settling a hand lightly over Mick’s free hand, while his other continues to play with the lighter. “You know you’re more than that,” Leonard whispers. “But I can’t, Mick. I’m sorry.”

“I know, already." Mick glowers. "You’re the law. You can’t be seen in public with a criminal -"

"Ex-criminal."

Mick rolls his eyes before continuing. "Ex-criminal like me. I’m a liability to your image. Am I on the right track?” Flame on; flame off.

“I’m not the law. I’m the administration,” Leonard corrects. “And… it’s just not that simple. I’m newly elected, Mick. You know there’s already been talk about my shady past during the election. The public bought the ‘bad kid made good’ narrative, but they need to trust me before I can go surprising them with anything else. Mick, you know this.”

Flame off.

Mick gets up and starts pulling his clothes on.

“Mick,” Leonard says, imploring. Mick carries on.

Then, dropping down to sit next to him on the edge of the bed, his bag pulled over his shoulder, Mick leans over and pecks him on the lips. “Leon, for a guy who’s gone up in the world because of his smarts, you got shit for brains. You don’t know you got a good thing till it’s gone.” With that, he gets up and leaves the room.

A moment later, Leonard hears the front door closing quietly.

Mayor Snart lies back and watches cold moonbeams illuminate an empty room.

-     -     -

It’s 7pm. All dressed up in his tux, Mayor Snart is still wrestling with paperwork.

Gary puts his head around the door. “Mr S-”

“What?” The mayor spins in his seat and glares at him.

A look of panic crosses Gary’s face. “Nothing! Never mind!”

Leonard sighs and puts his pen down, rubbing his forehead. “Sorry, Gary,” he drawls, his Central City accent sneaking out at the end of a long day. “Didn’t mean to snap. What can I do for you?”

Gary's smile is nervous. “I just wanted to file the Queen meeting minutes.”

Leonard beckons him in. “Of course. Go ahead.”

Passing the mayor’s desk on the way to the filing cabinet, Gary says, “And if I may say so, Mr Mayor, that’s really a very nice tux.”

Leonard stands and does an obliging little turn, and Gary beams.

“So,” Gary continues from the filing cabinet, “you’re really going alone, hmm?”

The mayor cocks his head at him. “It appears so.”

With a sly smile, Gary says, “You know, you still have time to ask that nice young man of yours.”

Leonard has returned his attention to his paperwork, and doesn’t look up. “Do you mean my fire-obsessed, previously-employed-by-the-mob, ex-arsonist ‘young man’, Gary?” he shoots back, doing the air quotes.

“That’s the one,” Gary says.

Leonard looks up just in time to see Gary wink at him. “He’s forty-seven,” Leonard shoots back, but he can’t repress the smile that wants to break out across his face. “Also, you do how know how that would go down in PR terms, yes?”

Gary continues to tidy files away. “Well. It seems to me that, until you’ve presented the situation to the public, you can’t really know how they’ll react. I mean -” He cuts off briefly as his head disappears completely into a filing cabinet. “Love,” he finishes as he pulls his head and a file out together, “is more important than a lot of things.”

“Poetic,” Leonard observes dryly. But he watches Gary thoughtfully.

Gary closes the cabinet with a terminal slam, then checks his watch. “And I’m off the clock. Unless you need anything else?” He pauses, then follows up with, “...Mr Snart?”

Leonard has spun back around to face the desk, leaning back to look at the ceiling. “Hmm? Oh, yes, of course, Gary. Have a great weekend. I’ll see you at temple tomorrow?”

“That you will,” Gary says, grabbing his hat from the hat-stand and tipping it to the mayor as he scampers out.

“Wish John a good weekend from me,” Leonard calls back after him.

“Double date!” Gary calls back.

The mayor shakes his head despairingly at him. “Good night, Gary." Gary disappears around a corner, grinning broadly.  

Leonard bites on a nail, staring into air for a few minutes.

Then he checks his watch, picks up the phone, and dials his driver.

-     -     -

Leonard is standing in a hallway with peeling wallpaper and graffiti, in front of an apartment front door, roses in one arm, spare tux over another. That’s when he realises how long it’s been since he was last here. He reaches up to the door knocker with a shaky hand, and finds it broken. He bangs on the door with a fist instead.

The door swings open and a grumpy face emerges - then softens - then hardens again. “Thought we did all our talking,” he says. Then he looks him up and down. “Nice tux.”

Leonard holds out the roses. “For you,” he says through a mouth like sandpaper. He doesn’t remember it ever having been this difficult to talk to Mick before. It’s just Mick. “For you,” he says again.

Mick starts to laugh. “Fucking hell, Leon,” he says when he can get his breath. He nods at the suit carrier across Leonard’s arm. “I’m just gonna make this easier on ya. You want me to come to your fancy ball, right?”

Leonard nods. He looks down. “I’ve been an asshole, haven’t I?”

“You said it,” Mick says, grinning. Then his face falls. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna. You know - your campaign stuff, election stuff. It’s important shit, Leon.”

Leonard meets his eyes. “You’re more important. More important than… a lot of things.”

“Poetic,” Mick quips. He grabs the tux off him. “How long do we got till this thing kicks off?”

“Oh!” Leonard remembers with a start, and checks his watch. “One hour, fifty-two minutes.”

“I’m getting in the shower,” Mick says. He turns back into the apartment.

Then he turns back and grins. “You gonna stand out there in the hall all night?”

Leon smiles, and follows him in.

#ColdWaveWeek2018 #dccoldwave #dctv fanfic #mick rory #leonard snart #ok yeah their earth-2 dopplegangers #but close enough :D #gary green #opposites attract #pairing: you’re a hero to me #my fic

[justtextmeoppa]

Super Junior reaction to telling them you have OCD after dating for a few months

for anon

-kyu

WHAT IS OCD?

Behavioural: compulsive behaviour, agitation, compulsive hoarding, hypervigilance, impulsivity, meaningless repetition of own words, repetitive movements, ritualistic behaviour, social isolation, or persistent repetition of words or actions

Mood: anxiety, apprehension, guilt, or panic attack

Psychological: depression, fear, or repeatedly going over thoughts

Also common: food aversion or nightmares

Leeteuk

Okay so Leeteuk being the leader would understand the obsession of having everything to be perfect and the obsession of a tidy and clean environment. At first he would think it was a good thing you were so innocent, but once he notices your actions are very repetitive and you are having social isolation, he would start asking you what is wrong. Eventually you would confess and he would be very supportive about it, and also sad that you didn't tell him sooner because he would have been a bit more observant on you, making sure you didn’t hurt yourself.

‘Do you hate me?’

‘Why would I hate you for such a thing, Jagi? I am just sad you didn’t tell me sooner.’

Heechul

Heechul would be very oblivious to your actions at first due to his busy schedule, and honestly wouldn’t think much about it but once you start experiencing anxiety when you around a lot of people, he would click something was up (he is slow lol, forgive our Heenim). You would then try hard to hide everything until you completely have no control and finally come clean to him. Of course he would be shocked, but nothing short of making sure you are okay all the time. Giving you a sweet kiss and smiling softly.

‘I’m sorry, I was just afraid.’

‘You should have told me! I don’t like seeing the ones I love suffer…I want to help.’

Yesung

On a serious note, I think Yesung would just think you are weird because lets face it, he is no normal human as well. Like the man loves philtrums! Anyway, you would go to Yesung afraid that if he was told about your OCD he would just explode and not even hear you out, but that wasn’t the case. You would sit him down and then he would just laugh at you for thinking he would be angry over that. He would express his apology for being dense and not noticing earlier, but also devote himself to being more observant, placing kisses all over your face with a bright smile.

‘I know it isn’t a very natural thing, but I hope you will accept me.’

‘You kidding right? You honestly thought I would be angry at you, baby? If that is so then you are more dense then I am, and that is saying a lot.’

Kangin

Hmmm Kangin okay he was a little hard but he would be sharp in catching your meaningless repetition of words and how you would have food aversion. You would hide away most of the time and he would find you one day in the bedroom. He would slowly come in and take you into his arms and ask what was wrong. You would remain silent but he would eventually tickle it out of you. Explaining it, he would then take your face in his hands and give you a light kiss on the forehead.

‘I can see you are scared and I want to help, so tomorrow, we can go see someone if you like.’

‘You are truly amazing, Kangin…thank you.’

Shindong

You would have an unhealthy obsession of checking that the door was locked or that you switched off the stove, and being Shindong, he would joke about it. Saying that you are being paranoid, fully unaware that you were actually suffering from OCD. One day you would be with him and the others. He would have you by his side so you were unable to move. The feeling to go and check on things got so bad that you burst into tears and he gets scared. Everyone leave and he asks what is wrong and you explain through tears. He would wipe them with is thumbs and smile sweetly at you, explaining to you that he would not be mad and he is just worried.

‘I-I have OCD, that is why I continually check things…I am sorry and I understand if you would want to leave me.’

‘What? I would never do such a thing but what I do want to do is say that you need to tell me things. I care deeply for you, Y/N.'

Sungmin

Minnie would have experienced one of your panic attacks but you would then hide them from him, worried he would end things. You would be in the kitchen when suddenly anxiety took over and you fell to your knees, holding your chest. Sungmin would come running in and you would point to the meds on the table and he would give you one. Slowly you would calm down and he would demand what was wrong because he has seen this happen once before. Upon telling him that you had others and you suffered from OCD, he would be very hurt. Sad mostly. But seeing your scared face, he would lighten up and take you to the bedroom and cuddle you close.

‘No more hiding things, what if this happened and I wasn’t around? If you suffer from OCD, then I want to be involved more, regardless that we have been together for a few months.’

‘You are to kind Minnie, thank you.’

Eunhyuk

So weirdly enough, our Jewel boy is very tidy and neat but his hygiene is another story lol. But when he sees you love everything neat and clean, he would fall for you a little more but that worried you. Doing normal routine, he would notice that you would straighten things way to much or organise the DVD’s over and over. One day he would stop you and ask why you were like this and you couldn’t help but just tell him. On the couch he would just look at you, very confused but eventually he would notice how worried your face became from explaining what you suffered from.

‘A lot of people suffer from it but I am sorry that you ended up with one of them. I will pack up my things and be gone if you like.’

‘Are you serious? I may not understand much about this but I do understand that my feelings for you are real, Y/N. I want to help.’

Zhoumi

The Chinaman would be between China and Korea so much that he wouldn’t notice you constantly cleaning your hands or showering. One day he would come home and sneak up on you in the shower, wanting to be intimate but the moment you pushed him away he knew something was off. You looked at him, water falling on the both of you as you just teared up and knew this was now over…he was going to break up with you. Zhoumi would be so confused, he would get you out the shower, bundled in a towel and in his arms asking you what was wrong. Explaining , his eyes fell soft as he then kissed you softly.

‘Let’s change and cuddle so we can fight this together. I will never let you handle your demons on your own my love.’

‘You are truly my angle, Mi.’

Donghae

So you would be honest to Donghae. Once you realised you could no longer hide this from him anymore, you would sit him down and explain everything. The fluffy member would sit in front of you, holding your hands as you told him about the problems that came with dating you. Finishing, he just looked at you and you knew that he wasn’t impressed but what caught you off guard was what he did next. He pulled up into a tight hug, tearing up in your hair which just made you want to cry as well. You would feel him kiss your head before placing a soft on your cheek and then smiling weakly. 

‘You are more of a solider then I ever was and I just came back from enlistment. If you allow me, I would like to fight by your side, baby.’

‘Wish granted, my love…thank you.’

Siwon

You would start feeling down, knowing that your depression was the cause of it. You would try and be happy and cheerful, especially when Siwon would take you to church or when he was having a hard time due to his dog. Siwon would notice your change in attitude and would sit you down. You would explain what it was, and of course his first reaction would be to take you to church but the idea of socialising frightened you. Siwon gently took you into his arms and just soothed your anxiety saying he would never pressure you into doing this but he wanted to help.

‘We won’t go to church and I won’t force you out, but you aren’t allowed to shut me out, okay?’

‘Thank you for understanding, Siwon-ah.’

Ryeowook

Ryeowook, the chef of the group, would cook for the both of you and loved that you helped him with the cleaning but would notice things were weird when you literally grabbed the spoon from his hand to clean it, even though he was still using it. He would notice your use of words and actions, finding them odd. You would pick up on his concern and sit him down one evening. He would think you were going to end things but instead revealed a part of you, you never wanted to tell him but he would just pull you into a tight hug and stroke your hair softly.

‘God I thought you were going to break up with me?! Don’t scare me like that!’

‘I thought you would do the same as well, Wook.’

Kyuhyun

Kyuhyun would come home, tired and exhausted but instead of having you run into his arms, he would notice how agitated you would get. You would shut him out and not want him to touch you due to germs. Realising that this would not be ideal, you sit the singer down and explain your condition. Kyuhyun would be a stubborn little brat and not believe you until you start tearing up and all he does is place a sweet kiss on your lips. You would try and just walk away but he would pull you into his lap and apologise.

‘If you don’t want me, I can go Kyu. This isn’t the first time I have been broken up with…’

‘Are you serious, Y/N!? I would never just break up with you for nothing! You should have just told me and I would be more aware and helpful my love.’

Henry

Baby Henry would be very observant, unlike Kyuhyun, he would notice the compulsive hoarding that now made your apartment look like a storage unit. He would talk to the other and they would tell him to just talk to you. Walking in, he would trip over a box of used tv guides that it would be the last straw. He would grab you and make you sit down and explain why this is happening. Hanging your head low, you would mumble that you have OCD and Henry would just hug you. He wouldn’t allow you to explain further because he understood the hardship that came with this mental illness.

‘Don’t say anymore, we will fight this together…I promise.’

‘You are seriously the best Mochi out there, Henry.’

*Bonus*

Hangeng

Hangeng would not really understand what you were going through. Yes he would notice certain things, but he would assume it was your personality and this frightened you. Why? Because you were afraid it would get worse. This would now psychologically have you going over thoughts repeatedly. It would be late one evening and Hangeng would find you in the lounge, huddled in a blanket and you beckoning to talk to him. He would sit down, and you would take his hands in yours and explain this illness. He would look at you confused, still not sure what was happening but once he saw how hard this was to reveal, he stopped you. Simple said that no illness would have him stop loving you.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t notice, but I am upset that you did not tell me. If we want this to work, you need to be more open and honest baby.’

‘Then from today I am as transparent as you want me to be, Geng.’

Kibum

Soft hearted and vibrate smiling Kim Kibum would not like the way you had such impulsive actions, the way you would wake up with nightmares. He knew you were scared about admitting this problem so he would come to you first. He would sit you down and ask you what was wrong. As if on cue, everything spills out. You both sit for two hours, just talking because he found you so much more fascinating. You saw with as an illness, he saw this as a manner to help you understand how much he cared for you.

‘So you suffer from nightmares as well? Woah, guess I will have to always have you in my arms when we sleep.’

‘You are such a cheese ball but thank you.’

#leeteuk #heechul #hangeng #yesung #kangin #shindong #sungmin #eunhyuk #donghae #siwon #ryeowook #kyuhyun #super junior #super junior-m #henry lay #zhoumi #super junior reactions #super junior imagine #super junior scenarios #super junior m reaction #kpop #kpop icons #kpop imagine #kpop reactions #kpop request

[kristinejrosario]

How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days

This post is by ProBlogger expert Ellen Jackson of Potential Psychology

Have you ever uttered the phrase, ‘One day I’ll…’?

Of course you have. We all have.

One day I’ll schedule my social media

One day I’ll improve my web site

One day I’ll organise my images (a personal favourite)

One day I’ll start a podcast…

Next we say, ‘When…’

When I have more time

When I have more money

When inspiration hits

When I’ve developed my skills

When I feel more confident

When life is easier….

Here’s a thought: What if life is never easier? What if you never find more time, money or confidence?

What if tomorrow and the day after and the day after that are no different to today? How will you ever achieve your goals and get those ‘one day’ tasks done? What if ‘one day’ never comes?

Procrastination researchers have discovered that our tendency to put things off is a self-delusion designed to make us feel better about today.

‘We think that our future self will be better able to handle feelings of insecurity or frustration with the task,’ psychologist Dr Fuschia Sirois says. ‘That somehow we’ll develop these miraculous coping skills to deal with the emotions that we just can’t deal with right now.’

Oh dear.

The Quick Win Goal Challenge

Recently I challenged my audience to see if together we could make some progress on our ‘one day’ goals. Science tells us that public accountability can help motivate you to achieve your goals, so we teamed up and made a commitment to work together.

We each picked a ‘one day’ goal – something that had been on the to-do list for months or longer. Tasks we’d been avoiding – important but not urgent. Goals that languished in the backs of minds, niggling, without ever launching forth to a point of urgency.

Our aim?

To follow five simple, science-based steps over five days to make major progress on our ‘one day’ goals.

The goals were diverse:

‘Make a plan to buy my first home’

‘Digitise my client files’

‘Tidy my spare room’

‘Write my ebook’

‘Build my potential client base’

We were all filled with enthusiasm, posting images to Instagram each day to share our progress.

The results were gratifying.

“I am well on the way to finishing my ebook. I produced 65 pages of a 100-page book, created the template, designed the cover AND worked out a distribution plan. All in five days! Prior to this I had done… not much for two years.”

“I have officially ticked off everything I set out to do this week. Feeling chuffed.”

And the steps to get there?

Let me share the five science-based steps to making your ‘one day’ today.

Step 1: Know EXACTLY What You Want to Achieve by the End of the Five Days

‘Fix my web site’ is a goal too overwhelming to contemplate. What does ‘fixed’ look like? How will you know when it’s fixed? Will ‘fixing’ one piece break another one?

No wonder you never start.

When you pull a goal apart and specify exactly what you want to achieve, you do two things:

You get clear on all the little tasks involved. This will help you estimate the time you need, and help you figure out where to start.

You paint a picture of what success looks like. A clear, specific goal like ‘By Friday I will have updated the background image on my home page, created links in the menu to my new product pages and rewritten my About Me copy’ feels achievable. ‘Fix my web site’ feels like a task you want to avoid.

Step 2: Take Conscious Action

A clear, specific goal is necessary but not sufficient if you want to achieve your ‘one day’ project. You need to know where you’re going, but it’s action that will get you there.

Step two involves two tasks.

Task One: Write it down. Did you know you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down? It’s not clear how or why this works, but the evidence confirms that it does.

Task Two: Work on your ‘Why?’ For many of us, motivation comes not just from what we’re trying to achieve, but why. Studies have shown that if we connect our goal to something larger and more important (‘I want to make money blogging so I can spend more time at home with my children’) we are less impulsive, less likely to give in to distractions, and more likely to plan and execute the required actions to reach our goals. When you’ve articulated your goal, spend some time thinking about why you want to achieve it. Who’s involved? How will they benefit? How will achieving this goal improve your life?

Step 3: Stop Looking for Motivation

Motivation: We’re all looking for it. Somewhere along the line someone convinced us that when we find our motivation, goal success will be effortless. We just have to find it, and then making client calls will be easy. We’ll sit at the laptop and schedule our social media. We won’t procrastinate or be distracted. We’ll just get stuff done. Simple.

But motivation isn’t  ‘thing.’ It can’t be found. Motivation, in simple psychological terms, is the desire to do something. You won’t find the desire to do something hiding anywhere. You have to create it.

Here’s a tip from the world’s leading researchers in goal-setting: Make your goal difficult.

Challenging but realistic goals – goals that stretch us but not quite to breaking point – activate motivation. They push us, encourage us and reward us when we achieve them. If a goal is too easy we don’t get the get up and go to… well, get up and go. If they’re too difficult we’re too overwhelmed to start. A stretching, challenging but achievable goal is like Baby Bear’s porridge – just right.

Step 4: Use my Favourite Productivity Tip

It’s called ‘The 15-minute rule’ and it rocks. I know because I use it all the time.

Here’s how it works:

If there’s a task on your list that you’re avoiding, commit 15 minutes to it today.

It could be:

15 minutes of writing

15 minutes of client calls

15 minutes tidying your office

15 minutes on that proposal you’ve been avoiding.

Why does it work? Because getting started is the hardest part of any task. The good news is that once you’ve started, you’re likely to push on beyond the 15 minutes you committed to. It’s called the Ovsiankina effect. Your brain doesn’t like starting a task and then stopping partway through. It will linger on your unfinished business, niggling at you until you get the job done. Get started and you’ll find the motivation to do more.

Step 5: Celebrate Every Step

What do you do when you finish a project or task? Do you tick it off the list and move straight on to the next one? Do you get on a roll, morphing into a task-completion machine? How long can you maintain momentum before you collapse on the lounge with the remote and Netflix?

A critical step in making progress towards difficult goals is celebrating the steps along the way. Yes, a big win feels great. But it’s the small wins – the incremental tasks you nail each day – that sustain your motivation and keep you happy and engaged for the long run.

Day five is all about reviewing your progress and celebrating your successes. Make a list of every little thing you’ve achieved on your ‘one day’ goal so far. Every little tiny thing. Give yourself a mental high five and put your feet up for a while. You’ve made a big start on a long-time goal. That deserves a reward. What’s more, you’re set up to rock on into next week.

Ellen Jackson from Potential Psychology  is a workplace psychologist, consultant, writer and speaker. Her mission is to help others to live, learn and flourish. You can join her next free Quick Win Challenge to nail your ‘one day’ goal here.

The post How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days appeared first on ProBlogger.

       from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ProbloggerHelpingBloggersEarnMoney/~3/jkGjBNSF_jU/

[richardrobertsimsuccessblog]

How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days

This post is by ProBlogger expert Ellen Jackson of Potential Psychology

Have you ever uttered the phrase, ‘One day I’ll…’?

Of course you have. We all have.

One day I’ll schedule my social media

One day I’ll improve my web site

One day I’ll organise my images (a personal favourite)

One day I’ll start a podcast…

Next we say, ‘When…’

When I have more time

When I have more money

When inspiration hits

When I’ve developed my skills

When I feel more confident

When life is easier….

Here’s a thought: What if life is never easier? What if you never find more time, money or confidence?

What if tomorrow and the day after and the day after that are no different to today? How will you ever achieve your goals and get those ‘one day’ tasks done? What if ‘one day’ never comes?

Procrastination researchers have discovered that our tendency to put things off is a self-delusion designed to make us feel better about today.

‘We think that our future self will be better able to handle feelings of insecurity or frustration with the task,’ psychologist Dr Fuschia Sirois says. ‘That somehow we’ll develop these miraculous coping skills to deal with the emotions that we just can’t deal with right now.’

Oh dear.

The Quick Win Goal Challenge

Recently I challenged my audience to see if together we could make some progress on our ‘one day’ goals. Science tells us that public accountability can help motivate you to achieve your goals, so we teamed up and made a commitment to work together.

We each picked a ‘one day’ goal – something that had been on the to-do list for months or longer. Tasks we’d been avoiding – important but not urgent. Goals that languished in the backs of minds, niggling, without ever launching forth to a point of urgency.

Our aim?

To follow five simple, science-based steps over five days to make major progress on our ‘one day’ goals.

The goals were diverse:

‘Make a plan to buy my first home’

‘Digitise my client files’

‘Tidy my spare room’

‘Write my ebook’

‘Build my potential client base’

We were all filled with enthusiasm, posting images to Instagram each day to share our progress.

The results were gratifying.

“I am well on the way to finishing my ebook. I produced 65 pages of a 100-page book, created the template, designed the cover AND worked out a distribution plan. All in five days! Prior to this I had done… not much for two years.”

“I have officially ticked off everything I set out to do this week. Feeling chuffed.”

And the steps to get there?

Let me share the five science-based steps to making your ‘one day’ today.

Step 1: Know EXACTLY What You Want to Achieve by the End of the Five Days

‘Fix my web site’ is a goal too overwhelming to contemplate. What does ‘fixed’ look like? How will you know when it’s fixed? Will ‘fixing’ one piece break another one?

No wonder you never start.

When you pull a goal apart and specify exactly what you want to achieve, you do two things:

You get clear on all the little tasks involved. This will help you estimate the time you need, and help you figure out where to start.

You paint a picture of what success looks like. A clear, specific goal like ‘By Friday I will have updated the background image on my home page, created links in the menu to my new product pages and rewritten my About Me copy’ feels achievable. ‘Fix my web site’ feels like a task you want to avoid.

Step 2: Take Conscious Action

A clear, specific goal is necessary but not sufficient if you want to achieve your ‘one day’ project. You need to know where you’re going, but it’s action that will get you there.

Step two involves two tasks.

Task One: Write it down. Did you know you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down? It’s not clear how or why this works, but the evidence confirms that it does.

Task Two: Work on your ‘Why?’ For many of us, motivation comes not just from what we’re trying to achieve, but why. Studies have shown that if we connect our goal to something larger and more important (‘I want to make money blogging so I can spend more time at home with my children’) we are less impulsive, less likely to give in to distractions, and more likely to plan and execute the required actions to reach our goals. When you’ve articulated your goal, spend some time thinking about why you want to achieve it. Who’s involved? How will they benefit? How will achieving this goal improve your life?

Step 3: Stop Looking for Motivation

Motivation: We’re all looking for it. Somewhere along the line someone convinced us that when we find our motivation, goal success will be effortless. We just have to find it, and then making client calls will be easy. We’ll sit at the laptop and schedule our social media. We won’t procrastinate or be distracted. We’ll just get stuff done. Simple.

But motivation isn’t  ‘thing.’ It can’t be found. Motivation, in simple psychological terms, is the desire to do something. You won’t find the desire to do something hiding anywhere. You have to create it.

Here’s a tip from the world’s leading researchers in goal-setting: Make your goal difficult.

Challenging but realistic goals – goals that stretch us but not quite to breaking point – activate motivation. They push us, encourage us and reward us when we achieve them. If a goal is too easy we don’t get the get up and go to… well, get up and go. If they’re too difficult we’re too overwhelmed to start. A stretching, challenging but achievable goal is like Baby Bear’s porridge – just right.

Step 4: Use my Favourite Productivity Tip

It’s called ‘The 15-minute rule’ and it rocks. I know because I use it all the time.

Here’s how it works:

If there’s a task on your list that you’re avoiding, commit 15 minutes to it today.

It could be:

15 minutes of writing

15 minutes of client calls

15 minutes tidying your office

15 minutes on that proposal you’ve been avoiding.

Why does it work? Because getting started is the hardest part of any task. The good news is that once you’ve started, you’re likely to push on beyond the 15 minutes you committed to. It’s called the Ovsiankina effect. Your brain doesn’t like starting a task and then stopping partway through. It will linger on your unfinished business, niggling at you until you get the job done. Get started and you’ll find the motivation to do more.

Step 5: Celebrate Every Step

What do you do when you finish a project or task? Do you tick it off the list and move straight on to the next one? Do you get on a roll, morphing into a task-completion machine? How long can you maintain momentum before you collapse on the lounge with the remote and Netflix?

A critical step in making progress towards difficult goals is celebrating the steps along the way. Yes, a big win feels great. But it’s the small wins – the incremental tasks you nail each day – that sustain your motivation and keep you happy and engaged for the long run.

Day five is all about reviewing your progress and celebrating your successes. Make a list of every little thing you’ve achieved on your ‘one day’ goal so far. Every little tiny thing. Give yourself a mental high five and put your feet up for a while. You’ve made a big start on a long-time goal. That deserves a reward. What’s more, you’re set up to rock on into next week.

Ellen Jackson from Potential Psychology  is a workplace psychologist, consultant, writer and speaker. Her mission is to help others to live, learn and flourish. You can join her next free Quick Win Challenge to nail your ‘one day’ goal here.

The post How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days appeared first on ProBlogger.

       How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days

#Richard Roberts IM Success Mix #How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days

[silvino32mills]

How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days

This post is by ProBlogger expert Ellen Jackson of Potential Psychology

Have you ever uttered the phrase, ‘One day I’ll…’?

Of course you have. We all have.

One day I’ll schedule my social media

One day I’ll improve my web site

One day I’ll organise my images (a personal favourite)

One day I’ll start a podcast…

Next we say, ‘When…’

When I have more time

When I have more money

When inspiration hits

When I’ve developed my skills

When I feel more confident

When life is easier….

Here’s a thought: What if life is never easier? What if you never find more time, money or confidence?

What if tomorrow and the day after and the day after that are no different to today? How will you ever achieve your goals and get those ‘one day’ tasks done? What if ‘one day’ never comes?

Procrastination researchers have discovered that our tendency to put things off is a self-delusion designed to make us feel better about today.

‘We think that our future self will be better able to handle feelings of insecurity or frustration with the task,’ psychologist Dr Fuschia Sirois says. ‘That somehow we’ll develop these miraculous coping skills to deal with the emotions that we just can’t deal with right now.’

Oh dear.

The Quick Win Goal Challenge

Recently I challenged my audience to see if together we could make some progress on our ‘one day’ goals. Science tells us that public accountability can help motivate you to achieve your goals, so we teamed up and made a commitment to work together.

We each picked a ‘one day’ goal – something that had been on the to-do list for months or longer. Tasks we’d been avoiding – important but not urgent. Goals that languished in the backs of minds, niggling, without ever launching forth to a point of urgency.

Our aim?

To follow five simple, science-based steps over five days to make major progress on our ‘one day’ goals.

The goals were diverse:

‘Make a plan to buy my first home’

‘Digitise my client files’

‘Tidy my spare room’

‘Write my ebook’

‘Build my potential client base’

We were all filled with enthusiasm, posting images to Instagram each day to share our progress.

The results were gratifying.

“I am well on the way to finishing my ebook. I produced 65 pages of a 100-page book, created the template, designed the cover AND worked out a distribution plan. All in five days! Prior to this I had done… not much for two years.”

“I have officially ticked off everything I set out to do this week. Feeling chuffed.”

And the steps to get there?

Let me share the five science-based steps to making your ‘one day’ today.

Step 1: Know EXACTLY What You Want to Achieve by the End of the Five Days

‘Fix my web site’ is a goal too overwhelming to contemplate. What does ‘fixed’ look like? How will you know when it’s fixed? Will ‘fixing’ one piece break another one?

No wonder you never start.

When you pull a goal apart and specify exactly what you want to achieve, you do two things:

You get clear on all the little tasks involved. This will help you estimate the time you need, and help you figure out where to start.

You paint a picture of what success looks like. A clear, specific goal like ‘By Friday I will have updated the background image on my home page, created links in the menu to my new product pages and rewritten my About Me copy’ feels achievable. ‘Fix my web site’ feels like a task you want to avoid.

Step 2: Take Conscious Action

A clear, specific goal is necessary but not sufficient if you want to achieve your ‘one day’ project. You need to know where you’re going, but it’s action that will get you there.

Step two involves two tasks.

Task One: Write it down. Did you know you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down? It’s not clear how or why this works, but the evidence confirms that it does.

Task Two: Work on your ‘Why?’ For many of us, motivation comes not just from what we’re trying to achieve, but why. Studies have shown that if we connect our goal to something larger and more important (‘I want to make money blogging so I can spend more time at home with my children’) we are less impulsive, less likely to give in to distractions, and more likely to plan and execute the required actions to reach our goals. When you’ve articulated your goal, spend some time thinking about why you want to achieve it. Who’s involved? How will they benefit? How will achieving this goal improve your life?

Step 3: Stop Looking for Motivation

Motivation: We’re all looking for it. Somewhere along the line someone convinced us that when we find our motivation, goal success will be effortless. We just have to find it, and then making client calls will be easy. We’ll sit at the laptop and schedule our social media. We won’t procrastinate or be distracted. We’ll just get stuff done. Simple.

But motivation isn’t  ‘thing.’ It can’t be found. Motivation, in simple psychological terms, is the desire to do something. You won’t find the desire to do something hiding anywhere. You have to create it.

Here’s a tip from the world’s leading researchers in goal-setting: Make your goal difficult.

Challenging but realistic goals – goals that stretch us but not quite to breaking point – activate motivation. They push us, encourage us and reward us when we achieve them. If a goal is too easy we don’t get the get up and go to… well, get up and go. If they’re too difficult we’re too overwhelmed to start. A stretching, challenging but achievable goal is like Baby Bear’s porridge – just right.

Step 4: Use my Favourite Productivity Tip

It’s called ‘The 15-minute rule’ and it rocks. I know because I use it all the time.

Here’s how it works:

If there’s a task on your list that you’re avoiding, commit 15 minutes to it today.

It could be:

15 minutes of writing

15 minutes of client calls

15 minutes tidying your office

15 minutes on that proposal you’ve been avoiding.

Why does it work? Because getting started is the hardest part of any task. The good news is that once you’ve started, you’re likely to push on beyond the 15 minutes you committed to. It’s called the Ovsiankina effect. Your brain doesn’t like starting a task and then stopping partway through. It will linger on your unfinished business, niggling at you until you get the job done. Get started and you’ll find the motivation to do more.

Step 5: Celebrate Every Step

What do you do when you finish a project or task? Do you tick it off the list and move straight on to the next one? Do you get on a roll, morphing into a task-completion machine? How long can you maintain momentum before you collapse on the lounge with the remote and Netflix?

A critical step in making progress towards difficult goals is celebrating the steps along the way. Yes, a big win feels great. But it’s the small wins – the incremental tasks you nail each day – that sustain your motivation and keep you happy and engaged for the long run.

Day five is all about reviewing your progress and celebrating your successes. Make a list of every little thing you’ve achieved on your ‘one day’ goal so far. Every little tiny thing. Give yourself a mental high five and put your feet up for a while. You’ve made a big start on a long-time goal. That deserves a reward. What’s more, you’re set up to rock on into next week.

Ellen Jackson from Potential Psychology  is a workplace psychologist, consultant, writer and speaker. Her mission is to help others to live, learn and flourish. You can join her next free Quick Win Challenge to nail your ‘one day’ goal here.

The post How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days appeared first on ProBlogger.

       from ProBlogger http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ProbloggerHelpingBloggersEarnMoney/~3/jkGjBNSF_jU/

[bizmediaweb]

How to Smash Your Blogging Goals in Just 5 Days

This post is by ProBlogger expert Ellen Jackson of Potential Psychology

Have you ever uttered the phrase, ‘One day I’ll…’?

Of course you have. We all have.

One day I’ll schedule my social media

One day I’ll improve my web site

One day I’ll organise my images (a personal favourite)

One day I’ll start a podcast…

Next we say, ‘When…’

When I have more time

When I have more money

When inspiration hits

When I’ve developed my skills

When I feel more confident

When life is easier….

Here’s a thought: What if life is never easier? What if you never find more time, money or confidence?

What if tomorrow and the day after and the day after that are no different to today? How will you ever achieve your goals and get those ‘one day’ tasks done? What if ‘one day’ never comes?

Procrastination researchers have discovered that our tendency to put things off is a self-delusion designed to make us feel better about today.

‘We think that our future self will be better able to handle feelings of insecurity or frustration with the task,’ psychologist Dr Fuschia Sirois says. ‘That somehow we’ll develop these miraculous coping skills to deal with the emotions that we just can’t deal with right now.’

Oh dear.

The Quick Win Goal Challenge

Recently I challenged my audience to see if together we could make some progress on our ‘one day’ goals. Science tells us that public accountability can help motivate you to achieve your goals, so we teamed up and made a commitment to work together.

We each picked a ‘one day’ goal – something that had been on the to-do list for months or longer. Tasks we’d been avoiding – important but not urgent. Goals that languished in the backs of minds, niggling, without ever launching forth to a point of urgency.

Our aim?

To follow five simple, science-based steps over five days to make major progress on our ‘one day’ goals.

The goals were diverse:

‘Make a plan to buy my first home’

‘Digitise my client files’

‘Tidy my spare room’

‘Write my ebook’

‘Build my potential client base’

We were all filled with enthusiasm, posting images to Instagram each day to share our progress.

The results were gratifying.

“I am well on the way to finishing my ebook. I produced 65 pages of a 100-page book, created the template, designed the cover AND worked out a distribution plan. All in five days! Prior to this I had done… not much for two years.”

“I have officially ticked off everything I set out to do this week. Feeling chuffed.”

And the steps to get there?

Let me share the five science-based steps to making your ‘one day’ today.

Step 1: Know EXACTLY What You Want to Achieve by the End of the Five Days

‘Fix my web site’ is a goal too overwhelming to contemplate. What does ‘fixed’ look like? How will you know when it’s fixed? Will ‘fixing’ one piece break another one?

No wonder you never start.

When you pull a goal apart and specify exactly what you want to achieve, you do two things:

You get clear on all the little tasks involved. This will help you estimate the time you need, and help you figure out where to start.

You paint a picture of what success looks like. A clear, specific goal like ‘By Friday I will have updated the background image on my home page, created links in the menu to my new product pages and rewritten my About Me copy’ feels achievable. ‘Fix my web site’ feels like a task you want to avoid.

Step 2: Take Conscious Action

A clear, specific goal is necessary but not sufficient if you want to achieve your ‘one day’ project. You need to know where you’re going, but it’s action that will get you there.

Step two involves two tasks.

Task One: Write it down. Did you know you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down? It’s not clear how or why this works, but the evidence confirms that it does.

Task Two: Work on your ‘Why?’ For many of us, motivation comes not just from what we’re trying to achieve, but why. Studies have shown that if we connect our goal to something larger and more important (‘I want to make money blogging so I can spend more time at home with my children’) we are less impulsive, less likely to give in to distractions, and more likely to plan and execute the required actions to reach our goals. When you’ve articulated your goal, spend some time thinking about why you want to achieve it. Who’s involved? How will they benefit? How will achieving this goal improve your life?

Step 3: Stop Looking for Motivation

Motivation: We’re all looking for it. Somewhere along the line someone convinced us that when we find our motivation, goal success will be effortless. We just have to find it, and then making client calls will be easy. We’ll sit at the laptop and schedule our social media. We won’t procrastinate or be distracted. We’ll just get stuff done. Simple.

But motivation isn’t  ‘thing.’ It can’t be found. Motivation, in simple psychological terms, is the desire to do something. You won’t find the desire to do something hiding anywhere. You have to create it.

Here’s a tip from the world’s leading researchers in goal-setting: Make your goal difficult.

Challenging but realistic goals – goals that stretch us but not quite to breaking point – activate motivation. They push us, encourage us and reward us when we achieve them. If a goal is too easy we don’t get the get up and go to… well, get up and go. If they’re too difficult we’re too overwhelmed to start. A stretching, challenging but achievable goal is like Baby Bear’s porridge – just right.

Step 4: Use my Favourite Productivity Tip

It’s called ‘The 15-minute rule’ and it rocks. I know because I use it all the time.

Here’s how it works:

If there’s a task on your list that you’re avoiding, commit 15 minutes to it today.

It could be:

15 minutes of writing

15 minutes of client calls

15 minutes tidying your office

15 minutes on that proposal you’ve been avoiding.

Why does it work? Because getting started is the hardest part of any task. The good news is that once you’ve started, you’re likely to push on beyond the 15 minutes you committed to. It’s called the Ovsiankina effect. Your brain doesn’t like starting a task and then stopping partway through. It will linger on your unfinished business, niggling at you until you get the job done. Get started and you’ll find the motivation to do more.

Step 5: Celebrate Every Step

What do you do when you finish a project or task? Do you tick it off the list and move straight on to the next one? Do you get on a roll, morphing into a task-completion machine? How long can you maintain momentum before you collapse on the lounge with the remote and Netflix?

A critical step in making progress towards difficult goals is celebrating the steps along the way. Yes, a big win feels great. But it’s the small wins – the incremental tasks you nail each day – that sustain your motivation and keep you happy and engaged for the long run.

Day five is all about reviewing your progress and celebrating your successes. Make a list of every little thing you’ve achieved on your ‘one day’ goal so far. Every little tiny thing. Give yourself a mental high five and put your feet up for a while. You’ve made a big start on a long-time goal. That deserves a reward. What’s more, you’re set up to rock on into next week.

Ellen Jackson from Potential Psychology  is a workplace psychologist, consultant, writer and speaker. Her mission is to help others to live, learn and flourish. You can join her next free Quick Win Challenge to nail your ‘one day’ goal here.

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[faithtales]

Life after university

Ever since I successfully managed to endure four years of university torture, I’ve had the very same question flung my way…

“Nde ukutanino?”

Honestly, this question annoys me. For so many reasons. I don’t mean the people who ask me are annoying per se, but the question annoys me because of personal reasons. I know they mean well. They probably have a “Congratulations!” dancing on their tongue, waiting for me to give them some kinda good news.

“I’m working for [Insert prestigious organisation here] and I’m a [Insert prestigious position here]. I get [Insert a great salary + job’s great benefits here] and I’m happy! Life is GREAT!” Maybe throw in, “I’m getting married in [Insert month here]!” for extra seasoning.

Nope!

I have, on a couple occasions, just laughed instead of answering the question. Recently, I stared blankly at the individual who asked me the unpopular question. My mind trailed off.

“I’m staying at home, doing chores and spending so many hours I’m ashamed of admitting on social media.  I sometimes take stupid quizzes like “design your house and we’ll tell you when you’ll die”. I am struggling with my health; I collapse sometimes, especially when I’m stressed, which is usually caused by overthinking and my very unhealthy habit of not eating and/or sleeping enough. Sometimes I find vacancies that I tell myself I will apply for, and lose interest in the job when I’m about to apply so they just end up as starred messages on my WhatsApp, or in my email draft folder. I have managed to break my habit of nail biting, but I subconsciously bite them when I’m deep in thought once in a while.”

Then I remembered that I had to use my brain to come up with an answer instead…

“Palibe. Ndikungogona kunyumba. Ndikupuma kaye,” I said quickly, then let out a laugh.

“Oh ok. Ayi zipumani,” they said.

I should have probably come up with a better reply. But oh well.

Honestly, I don’t know where my life is heading. I don’t know what I’ll be doing in a year, where I’ll be or who will be around me. I don’t even know about next week. Heck! I don’t even know about tomorrow. When you’re living in your parent’s home without much happening in your life, you remember that you are sapuni. You wake up with plans… well, not very important plans… maybe I’ll tidy my room. Or I’ll go collect ka jacket ndinapeza pa kaunjika kaja koma kokula mmikonomu kwa a tailor in town… or I’ll try to edit my CV this time and actually apply for that research assistant job… those type of plans, but plans all the same… Then mum wakes up and just says, “ndikufuna upite mtown: upite ku chigayo. Kenako ukagule anyezi, tomato, bread…” and before you know it, you have a list of things to do in town. This is when you realise that the driving lessons they paid for you were so they could easily send you in town, not necessarily that their daughter should have driving skills.

My mum’s sending-you-to-town trips interest me. Her list is usually short. But you can spend over 2 hours in this very small town of Zomba. When you’re in town, she will call you and tell you she forgot something else. Then she will call again when you’re almost done and you have to go back to square one. By the time you’re getting home, you feel tired and hungry. But at least you had a had the chance to check if the tailor adjusted your jacket yapa kaunjika yokula mmikono (no, he didn’t. he said I should go mawa. He will DEFINITELY have it ready then. He said the same dzana).

Another thing unemployment has done to me is it has made me care less (mind the gap) about my appearance. Back in college, I would never go on campus with unkempt hair, shabby clothes that don’t match. Now, I wear the first t-shirt I see and I’m okay with wearing masilipasi. This morning, mummy sent me to town. It was her usual short list. But she told me to hurry because “tomato akufunika lunch yomweyino”. This was somewhere around twenty to twelve. So I just wore what I could and rushed outside (yes, nnali nsanasambe. Nndadzuka mochedwa). As I was about to get into the car, she asked me, “Upita mmutumo muli choncho?” I had African threaded my hair the night before. The opportunity cost of unbraiding it for just about an hour’s time in town was too high. I was going kumsika anyway.

Lol. Guys. I would have been ashamed before. But I laughed. I laughed hard.

“Mum, it’s just Zomba Town. I’ll be back before you know it!”

Poor mum. She just looked at me, shook her head and probably muttered to herself, “Koma mwana uyu nde akhwatchitsatu.”

 Which brings me to the next question I get asked these days.

“Have you found ‘someone’ yet?”

Respectful people say, “Mukupephelela aBrother koma?”

“Munamaliza school’tu, nde mukudikila chani?”

Eeeeh. This topic.

You know, when you’re far, you look at a watch and admire its beauty. You look at those hands moving around in complete harmony and it’s just beautiful. But then when you open the back side of the watch, and you come close, you will see that there’s SO MUCH going on. It’s actually more complex than you initially thought.

Yes, that’s what marriage is like to me now. From afar, beautiful! We wrote “goals” under pictures of couples with matching clothes. Those beautiful photos of families looking happy made it all look rosy. I kept pushing the thought of marriage away, like, let me finish undergrad first. Now I’m close and I see how complex everything is. Marriage is WORK! Finding and being the right partner is also not that simple. It’s not just some pretty photo and great caption, or a big colourful wedding. It’s a lifetime commitment to someone you will have to stand for the rest of your lives. And honestly, it scares me! (It scares a lot of us, I’m just brave enough to admit it). Then someone comes along and adds the pressure by asking “tivina liti?”

Anyway, my life currently has been interesting, but I’m loving it. Despite all the uncertainties, I appreciate the fact that I am in my parents’ home and there isn’t too much pressure to move out or get a job. I want a job I am satisfied with. I want to do things I am actually happy with. I know a lot of people say you have to throw your CV everywhere. My reply is always the same: I do not like to have my CV all over town in the name of trying my luck. I know what a long shot it is, but I do not want to settle and work in a sector I have zero interest in and be stuck in some boring cycle. A friend gave me this piece of advice that has helped me so much. She said, “You are in your own time zone. Don’t you dare get tempted to look at what your friends are accomplishing and start to look down on yourself. It’s not a race.” That gave me so much peace. When a classmate asked me for advice on what to do because he got offered two jobs at once, I was tempted to look down on myself and say to him, “really? You call that a problem? Not knowing which job to pick? I can’t even get an interview!” But I stopped myself. I got happy for him. I helped him make a decision. That is all. Different time zones.

Finishing university was a great feeling. I loved it! My graduation was even more exciting. Chancellor college wasn’t easy, friends. And despite my unemployed state, I thank God and celebrate it every day. No one, and I mean no one, can ever take that away from me: I got a degree. I worked for it. And I am so darn proud of me, so should a lot of us unemployed graduates. There’s an achievement we should never forget or underrate. Yes, we can be more, and we will be, but let’s also count our blessings.

There are so many long term goals that I have, and most of them do not even involve working a 7-5 job. I have never lost sight of those goals. Sometimes I feel like just another dreamer, but I know I will get there. When it comes to marriage, I have learnt to lay all my burdens down at Jesus’ feet. He knows my tomorrow better than I do. He also knows what makes me anxious. I get comforted knowing the one who knows my tomorrow is the one who is guiding me. I also find comfort in knowing I am operating in my time zone-things will happen when it is the right time, that is all. I know we have all heard that same message before and it starts to sound corny, but believe me, you will look back at all this one day and agree with me- IT WILL HAPPEN AT THE APPOINTED TIME.

Yours truly,

An unemployed economics graduate

-The pain from every setback is just the feeling of your wings taking form.

- Now, Jesus said, in the Word. Jesus said, “If you ask the Father anything in My Name I’ll do it.” But sometimes, when God performs something and does something that we ask for, yet we don’t…It comes in an unexpected way, and sometimes in an unexpected place, and at an unexpected time. But God will answer in His Own way, if you’ll just believe it. See? See?  You must believe it, accept it, and then don’t take it back. Hold onto it. Lay hold of it, and say, “This is it. God said it. That settles it. If God said so, that’s finished, no matter how long.” There might not have been one molecule come into existence when He said, “Let there be” for a world. But, He, He is Eternal. And after while, become molecules and atoms. And it come up, because He said it to be that way. 

62-0120 -  The Unchangeable God Working In An Unexpectable Way      Rev. William Marrion Branham