#well i guess max cares about sam

[c4n1d43cup1d]

how have i never seen anyone compare these 2

#both of them are antisocial asshole rabbits who only care about themselves #well i guess max cares about sam #idk anything outside of the one tadc episode im not caught up on whatever lore jax has if any #ok they dont have THAT much in common #similar character genre i think #also their names are sooo similar #saw jax and immediately thought of max #sam and max #the amazing digital circus

[gaycrittercentral]

Im curious and new to the fandom what are Sam and max's personalitys I don't understand them really much but I like the characters! Do you have any tips to help..? A easier way to understand their dynamic

Oh hi welcome to the fandom bud!! :D hmmmm let’s see, how can I summarize these two dumbasses…well, the show bible is a fantastic place to start if you’d like to hear from the creator himself! There’s a lot of really interesting stuff in there, including a page or two that goes into detail about both of their personalities. Really neat stuff!

But let’s see, if I had to summarize them…well, I guess I’d put it under a cut cause I’m gonna ramble a bit lol

I guess I’d say that they’re just a couple of lunatics who enjoy doling out their slanted version of justice and accompanying it with their constant banter. They’ve been best friends and partners in crime ever since they were children (and in fact still have tons of baby photos framed around their office lmaooo) and it shows. They’re often described as having their own language, and they have incredible physical comfort with each other, with Sam frequently seizing Max to fling him at people or use him like a weapon (Max likes this, notably) and Max occasionally using his partner like a cat tree. And while they like to poke fun at and do slapstick on each other frequently, it’s clear that they’re incredibly close and really care for each other. Also they’re gay as fuck lmaooooo canon just doesn’t know it

Ooh here’s something I think gets misinterpreted a lot! Sam is not as reasonable and moral as he might seem. He just looks that way in comparison to Max, but he is honestly just as deranged in a lot of ways. He just hides it behind his carefree cadence and friendly smile lmao. It’s the kind of thing where if you ignore what he’s actually saying, he sounds calm and friendly and nice, but then you tune back in and realize he’s suggesting they wrap Max in tinfoil and stick him in a microwave for fun, or casually threatening some bizarre form of violence against something. I think it’s best summarized by this meme lmaooo

That said, he is still the more reasonable of the two of them, and probably the only one capable of feeling guilt or shame. It’s just that hanging out with Max kind of obliterates any chance of those feelings sinking in for long.

Oh and for Max, one thing I think is good to remember is that despite his frequent zero braincell behavior, he does in fact have a decent amount of intelligence. Which is kind of frightening, actually. He’s not as verbose as Sam, or at least doesn’t like to be, but he’s got smarts enough to make witty jokes and concoct his own plans and whatnot. He’s just also a goblin who likes clobbering people with flyswatters and would totally eat pizza off the floor lmao.

Conversely, Max isn’t exactly as deadly as he claims to be, either. Like, he’s still an absolute terror, but I think it’s important to remember that all one really has to do to keep him at bay is push his head away lmaoooo he arms too dang short

Ok but that’s all a bit in the weeds, so let’s see…basically, Sam is a cheerful goof who would really like to be a cool film noir detective, but is too busy having fun to keep up a serious facade for long. And Max is an irrepressible scamp who just likes to cause trouble and get into fights and wander around aimlessly. Sam does have his own weird sense of justice that he wants to uphold, but Max is kinda just happy to be along for the ride, and both of them are really only fighting crime and solving cases because it’s fun for them. And they’re a little codependent. Lmao.

Ooh, y’know what else has some really great analyses of these guys across different incarnations of the series? @h-worksrambles’s excellent discussions of their voices! Here’s the one they wrote on Max and his voice actors over time, and here’s the one on Sam. There’s a bit in the latter one where they talk about how Sam has a sort of shallowly-hidden temper that tends to burst forth on occasion, which I had never really given a lot of thought to but that I feel has deepened my understanding and enjoyment of his character! Definitely check those out, they’re a great read. :>

#and that’s all I got!! hope this is interesting at least lmao #always fun to ramble about these dumbasses eehehheheh #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #freelance husbands #I guess? I mean I didn’t explicitly talk abt their relationship but like they gay. so #asks

[paulinawoodpecker]

The Mean Queen Bees talk to The Impossible Three

@jakkiisthatboy2

Tiffany: VEGETABLE!

Pickles: huh?

Tiffany: *walks towards the impossible three raging*

Jack: woah. You look so mad.

Blair: we need to talk.

Blair: max. Why didnt you tell me you had an old girlfriend?

Max: well…I um…

Ying: what was the deal? And why did you lie to them?

Jack: you see…the deal was.

Andrea: and you used her to help you arrest him.

Pickle: um…she…cancelled the case?

Tiffany: but for most importantly…why didn’t you tell us about your son?

Pickles: *trembles*

Tiffany: how dare you! All of you even you vegetable haven’t been telling us anything?!

Tiffany: WHAT KIND OF A AGENT ARE YOU IF YOU DONT HAVE ANY POWER WITH YOUR KID?

Pickles: 😰 please…I can’t explain…

Tiffany: oh you are going to explain alright…

Tiffany: then why are you wearing a ring?

Pickles: DONT YOU EVEN DARE!

Tiffany: but if you’re married, then who is your wife?

Pickles: *gets teary*🥺

Max: Sam?

Tiffany: father! I thought I trusted you! But I was wrong.

Tiffany: why did you cared about fighting mother but never cared about me!

Tiffany: how could you! You lied to me! Everything was a lie.

Max: *broke down crying*

Tiffany: Jack!

Tiffany: you’re not even a billionaire! All you care about is yourself!

Jack: *broke down crying*

Pickles: why? *hic* why do you like *hic* being so mean? *hic*

Pickles: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE US INTO THIS MESS!

Pickles: 🥺

Tiffany: I guess you don’t have the answer for that…

Pickles: 🥺

Tiffany: well we should go.

Tiffany: I warned you…

Pickles: *looks at Tiffany* 🥺

Tiffany: you’re not an agent. No one trusts you anymore…

Tiffany: that person won everything.

Tiffany: and that person is standing right in front of you…

Pickles: 🥺🥺

Tiffany: stop getting in our way, agent vegetable…*leaves*

Pickles: *broke down crying*

The impossible three: *broke down crying*

Tiffany: ladies…

Tiffany: be ready…

Tiffany: the war between the impossible three and the triple team, and the mean queen bees is a go…👿

#tad the lost explorer #tadeo jones #tad the lost explorer 4 #tadeo jones 4 #mean girls

[golbrocklovely]

I fucking need to get it off my chest , because if I don’t i might kll someone :

Sam posted an ask , simply something like “what was your least fav video/thing from our recent videos?” And i saw some people reacting to it like : “EVerything? You guys are all empty promises about nee videos on Sunday , but you barely even post” or some shit like this. And when i tell you my blood BOILED ! First of all , Snc never or at least nothing I remember made empty promises. They always tells us on which sunday the vid is gonna drop and it alzways does ( and when there are some complications , they tell us as well and inform us about unfortunate delay of a vid… but that happens… rarely) and second of all!!!!!!! ————-> SAM AND COLBY ARE NOT FUCKING MACHINES AND YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASSES ON TWITTER NEEDS TO CALM DOWN! They do basicallly everything on their O w N ! They film , they montage it and then upload it … It takes time ffs. Like when did they filmed the vid with Boys ? Two moths ago? And we will probably get it this Sunday ( almost Fcking May! ) . Sam and Colby put a good amount of work for their every video. The videos are so well done and so entertaining to watch that even non believers admitted to watch it for pure entertainment, because those videos are just genuinely good and interesting. But guess what? To create something great you need a lot of timeee and a lot of worrk. Snc are humans too and i am so pissed that some of their “fans” do not seem to get that and treat them almost like ma chines. “Omg boohoo poor me , it’s another sunday and no Snc video” . You guys are so annoying. Find a life! Ok? Then maybe you would stop crying about ridiculous things like people being people and not machines that post every Sunday , 1h+ long videos with great montage that includes sound effects, cuts , extra images etc. Sam and Colby at least have life and do some work yk? Maybe if you could find yourself one then you wouldn’t care that much and reduce your time spent on Twitter and Internet and realize that there is a life outside of it in which people do not cry over some YouTube videos omfg.

what a timely ask (from yesterday) for what came out today from xplrclub lol

i agree with you. any fan that expected every sunday to get a vid from them just hasn’t listened to snc, who literally gives us a couple days notice of when they plan to post.

the issue with the videos taking so long, and thus only having one a month, will hopefully be solved soon since they hired on more editors. bc that was their main issue since colby has been the only one editing while sam gives notes to the other editor about the (basically) finished video.

i can understand why fans are upset for the very slow build up of videos this past year, but that frustration doesn’t mean you get to go balls to the wall crazy, saying whatever you want about snc in the hopes that things will changed.

not to mention they have been posting once a month for years now (maybe twice if they get lucky) minus hell weeks, so…. why is anyone acting surprised by this? not to mention they have a whole ass other channel where they post weekly/biweekly - the react one.

and if anyone brings up the old days, aka xplr era, those videos were only 20 minutes long max most times and were all filmed in succession in one state with JUST snc. the times have changed. move on and accept it or leave 🤷🏻‍♀️

#ask #personal #snc bs

[wolfiemcwolferson]

if ur still doing spotify wrapped fics, 5 pls!!

This is more Del Water Gap - Alone Together. You didn't pick a pairing, but this is screaming Maxiel at me. This is angsty and a little bittersweet. Previous F1 Journalist Daniel and Driver Max. (This got out of hand.)

Sometimes Daniel is in an airport and he catches a flash of a Grand Prix on a TV in a bar or he'll be out with some friends and he'll run into someone he knew from college and they'll ask hey, I thought you were doing that racing thing and Daniel will shake a little bit.

Sitting on a barstool in LA, waiting to meet-up with one of the kid's on the American USA team, he feels it now, the ache where F1 used to sit - the ache where Max used to sit.

But he gave it all up when Max gave him up and -

The kid shows, fresh-faced and eager and shakes Danny's hand. The article will be good, of course. Daniel charms and weasles and prods at all the right places and that's why he gets paid the money he does - in America, for sports he doesn't actually care about.

It makes him sound so dramatic, he circles back around to thinking of Max that night in his hotel - like he always fucking does when he's alone.

Max working up the courage to ask Daniel out to dinner throughout the entire season - Daniel accepting out of pity - Daniel falling hard and fast and furious and then basing his life around him - the man that was going to bring glory back to Red Bull.

It didn't matter how many times Daniel laughed it off and said don't die while Max was sneaking out of his hotel room and it didn't matter how many times Max and Daniel said it wouldn't happen -

Max went off and needed to play house with some nice girl and Daniel spent three GP's in a row hiding from him and he knew he had to go.

Because Max was the missing piece of him or whatever romantic bullshit he used to think about the two of them - the mirror of his soul, the person who saw the worst in him and loved him anyways.

Because it was the worst in the end. Daniel begging Max not to go and Max telling him he had to just for them to switch positions the next morning. Daniel shouting at him to just fucking go while Max cried on his chest and Max and Daniel shouting the awful bits of hateful shit at each other they had gathered up over a three year relationship -

Daniel puts on his running shoes and goes down to the gym so he can forget forget forget.

After LA, Daniel goes to New York before spending a week in Nashville and then he catches a game in Denver before flying home - to Australia.

Grace asks him four times if he's seeing anyone and then Michelle asks much softer if he's talked to anyone from the paddock lately.

Daniel books an earlier flight to his...well, he guesses it's his home.

There's a cabin in fucking Montana. Everyone had thought it was a joke until he did it - bought the damn thing.

Daniel has a joke about how he had traveled for years in flashy circles, but the truth is that he's an idiot pressing gauze to an oozing wound.

It had been a thing with Max. My contract will end when I'm only 28. I could...we could escape to America. Live in the middle of nowhere Montana, yes? All this money has to be good for something.

No one knows, of course. Someone would have intervened, probably. Scotty. Scotty would have intervened.

He's here until Christmas. Alone and working on the book he's supposed to be writing and - he's here until Christmas and then he'll fly to Hawaii and get ready to interview some flashy American Football College Kid.

He tortures himself and watches the last race of the season - wakes up at 6 AM to flip it on and text steady, ribbing commentary to Sam about his own commentary and Max wins, of course.

Daniel turns off the television before the podium.

He's in town buying a couple of propane tanks and more rock salt and some food. He does have to do that occasionally when Janet asks him you know who bought Gerald's old place? Daniel frowns and shakes his head. Thought it might be one of your fancy athletes. Moving in here because you can't keep your trap shut.

It's gentle, but only a half joke. It took Janet a full year before she would talk to him in more than one syllable answers.

He goes home - works on his book. Ignores the text Scotty sends asking Daniel to call.

Max Verstappen on standing in his driveway, hands shoved in the pockets of a puffy coat at 10:28 on a Thursday. Daniel knows the set of his shoulders and the slop of his face even this far away. No one else will ever look like him. No one else will ever have this kind of intrinsic draw on Daniel's entire being.

Daniel steps out on his front porch, wearing socks and a hoodie, absolutely freezing.

"What do you want, Max?" Daniel hears how exhausted his own voice sounds and he wonders if Max can hear it too.

Max is still walking towards him. "Scotty talks a lot when he's drunk."

Fuck. "Yeah, well. Everything he says is shit." Daniel says - finally talking because Max is at the bottom of the staircase, head tilted up to look at Daniel. "What are you doing here? Where's your car?"

Max shrugs, hands still in his pockets. Daniel hears his coat make that slick crinkle noise. "Don't like to drive."

The pieces fall into place for Daniel now. "Gerald's old place?"

"If you're talking about that luxury cabin down the road, yeah. It's mine." Max laughs at his own joke.

Fucking Scotty. Daniel's socks are wet. "You'd better come inside. You'll freeze to death and Christian will have my head."

Max is knocking his snow boots against the porch and he gives a little dry laugh. "What was it you always said? I was selling my 20's? Well, not anymore."

Daniel spins two steps past the doorframe where Max is. They're too close. Far too close. "What."

"There's never been anyone else, Danny." Max says in that voice. The one that preceeded something that would wreck him entirely. "I know you don't - but, maybe if you still -" He shrugs again.

Daniel sees it there. In his eyes. The love they had managed to carve out together back then - before when Daniel thought love could conquer all, when he wasn't so bruised by the hiding and the secrets and the way they had beaten each other against the rocks of F1.

Before they had become the water that broke on that rock.

"Danny," he says again, slipping a hand from his coat. "I retired last week."

Danny breaks this time, curling his head down into Max's chest and heaving a great big sob.

"I didn't have the courage then," Max whispers into his hair, hand on the back of his neck. "But I think I'd like to have the courage now."

"I'm not moving into that house, Max. It's half haunted." Daniel chokes out in between tears.

Max brings his other hand out of the jacket, wrapping it around Daniel, finally bringing their bodies together. "That is fine, Daniel. I already set up the New York Times subscription for this address anyway. I can do the crossword and you can cook me real bacon now since I am not in training."

Daniel laughs now because it all may change, but damnit if it all doesn't stay the same.

#maxiel #tiredtiredsharl #spotify wrapped fics #these are still open my friends #ask me ask me ask me

[fleshmechsystem]

Oh yeah! I forgot about Handler or Samuel in this case! He was the guy assigned to take care of me when the fusion happened, he's from another system, maybe a sub system? Idk exactly but he's there I guess, there's also a guy called Bartender or John, never talked to him much but Sam knows him I think, my sister Sadie is also in that system too when I was Max as well I believe, she was supportive with me being trans and stuff! I do like remembering my childhood alongside her and stuff, it makes me happy!

-Patch

#blog #plurality

[oldestenemy]

through another lens - background noise

“What now?” It was barely dusk, Michael felt like his head was splitting open.

David had dragged him to some giant house on the outskirts of town, all white and windows and looking every inch like the opposite of somewhere that David- or honestly any of the other boys- should be seen hanging around.

“Just a formality,” David told him, he looked far more serious than usual “Max will want to see you.”

Max?

Why was that name familiar?

Jesus Christ he was tired, he could barely even stitch together the events of last night, let alone figure out a name. That was, until he was looking right at the smarmy nerd he’d let into his own house the previous night. “You?”

“Good evening, Michael.” Max said, smiling warmly “I’m glad to see you’re getting along well with my boys.”

“Your—?” Michael stopped, feeling suddenly more awake— as though someone had tipped ice cold water down his spine. “—hang on, what are you doing with my mother?”

“I understand you’ve had a long night, so I’ll excuse that. I care very much about your mother, Michael— I think we’ll make a very happy family. Your brother will come around eventually, I’m sure.”

Awake or not, his head was swimming. If David had taken him to Max— that meant Max was like the lost boys, and... and like Michael now, he supposed. But if that was true, what the hell was Max doing hanging around his mother? What did he mean about Sam?

Happy family.

He looked back at David in alarm, and found for the first time— David was void of his usual air of smugness and control. In fact, he seemed to be on guard, uncomfortable.

“I think he needs some more sleep.” David said quietly, “It sounds like it was a long night for all of us.”

“I agree.” Max replied, smile softening again “I have dinner to prepare, stay out of trouble for the evening, will you? Goodnight, Michael.”

David barely nods as the door closes, and doesn’t hesitate to set back off the property at a pace only just shy of outright running.

“David- wait!”

“We can talk back at the cave-”

“-We can talk now!” Michael growled, grabbing David by the shoulder and forcing him to a stop. “What the fuck is he planning to do to my mother? To Sam?”

“Not here, Michael.”

“If he’s planning to-”

David raised a hand and pulled himself out of Michael’s grip. “I said, not here.”

Let us get home. Where it’s safe. Where he can’t hear us.

Michael gets the feeling that’s as much an answer as he’ll get.

~*~

“What the hell is his deal?” Michael demands as soon as they’re back, safe David had said. Back in the sunken reception area of the hotel. But David doesn’t respond to him, making his way to the center of the room and calling out.

“Paul—” David barely has to speak and the music from Paul’s boom box cuts. “—we’ve got a problem.”

“David.” Michael insists, “He’s been hanging around my mother for weeks. Christ—he was at the house last night— what is he after?”

Like they’ve been summoned by the discontent, the other three lost boys gather around the fountain. Marko is the first to speak, as David still looks like he’s processing. “Good sir Max is trying to play house again, is that it?” The way he refers to Max is dripping with malice, “I guess the mess with Laddie’s mother didn’t teach him any lessons.”

“No, clearly it didn’t.” David replies. “I don’t think he’ll jump the gun before he has the younger one— it’s Sam, right?” he looks briefly to Michael for confirmation, but doesn’t stop there. “That gives us time. Won’t know how much until I hear from him again, but considering he’ll be indisposed for the evening we should start making plans now.”

“What does he want with my mother, David.” Michael asks again, the lack of an answer is starting to eat at him. Mostly because he knows, it’s obvious. He just wants to hear it. Wants the rising panic in his chest to have a good reason. “I told Sam I wouldn’t let anything happen to him, he stuck his neck out keeping this shit away from our mother. Is he in danger?”

“Of course he is, you almost killed him the other night.”

Michael blinks, not sure how to respond. Not even quite sure how David knows that.

“I— no, fuck— can you give me a straight answer, for once?”

“Don’t worry Michael,” It’s Dwayne who speaks, while Michael is still locked on David, waiting for an answer, waiting for the inevitable drop. “we’re not gonna let anything happen to your family. Not this time.”

“Never again.” There’s a small quiet voice from the other side of the ruined fountain, and Michael watches as Laddie holds an arm up and Paul takes it, lifting him onto the rim.

“We got it.” Paul says, grinning down at him, but Laddie just walks his way around the fountain until he’s eye level with David. Stepping between him and Michael and holding onto the fountain’s twisted centerpiece for support.

“You can’t let him.” Michael isn’t sure he’s ever seen David and Laddie interact at all. It’s weird hearing a kid sound so firm, not in the whiny way he’d expect, but like a fucking adult. “You promised.”

“Don’t worry kid,” David says quietly, and there’s an open sincerity in the words that surprises Michael even more than what Laddie had said. “never again, remember?”

Laddie nods, as though this response is enough, and hops down to the floor again.

It’s only now that David finally looks back to Michael, voice still quiet “Well. Looks like we have some reaching out to do. Marko, see if Delilah is willing to give us a hand— we could use someone on Max’s level.”

Marko nods and holds a hand out to the rafters, it’s greeted almost instantly by one of his pigeons. “Given who all is involved,” he said “I’m sure she’ll be in.”

Michael wants to ask, but David is already moving on. “Dwayne, Paul— I don’t suspect we’re going to be able to stick around after this, no matter how it goes down. You remember the area we were looking into down in Luna Bay? I know Gareth isn’t keen on a whole group moving in, give him a heads up and see if you can’t convince him otherwise. If he gives you trouble, we can get rid of him when we need to.”

“Yeah, somehow I have a feeling it’s gonna be the latter. He seemed like a massive di—”

“We’ll take care of it.” Dwayne cuts over Paul, and the two follow Marko out into the night.

David sighs, gaze sweeping the room with something like sadness. There was a bitter note to his expression though, something saying he wouldn’t be too devastated to leave the hotel behind. “Star.”

Michael hadn’t seen Star since the other night.

She hadn’t come out when they’d arrived, but now she came pushing through the curtain where her bed was, with Laddie not far behind. She looked exhausted, giving Michael a once over and seeming to sag even further into herself. “You’re all going to get yourselves killed.” She said softly.

David seems to summon a little of his grandeur back as he smiles at her. “Your faith in me is ever inspiring. I know you haven’t decided yet. This is you getting your chance.”

Star frowns at him “Now? Now you decide to tell me the truth?” She sounds genuinely pained by it, Michael can see tremors running through her body— though if it’s rage or something else, he can’t tell.

“Believe me or don’t, but telling you before now would have been putting you and Laddie both in pointless danger. We kill Max, you both walk away human.”

“No!” It’s Laddie who shouts, looking frantically up at Star and then back to David.

“Laddie—” David crouches down to the boy’s level, “—I’m not saying you can’t stay with us. You know damn well Paul and Dwayne would kill me, don’t you?”

Laddie just stares, and even in the dim light down here, Michael sees his eyes flash that vibrant red-ringed gold. “I want to stay.”

“I know, kid. You know the rules though— we can’t have you running around 10 years old forever. You’ll have an easier time of it if you get to grow up human, alright?” Michael feels very suddenly as though he’s intruding on something. As much as he’d seen— the Lost Boys were more of a family than he’d initially realized. More than just a gang. More than just a group of runaways.

“David.” Star has crossed her arms, conflict painting her whole expression.

“I know.” David says again, getting back to his feet. “Whatever you decide, I’ll help. You know—since Max will be out of the picture, we might be able to get a little of his hoard to throw around—you could actually look into treatment afterwards.”

The barest trace of a smile crosses Star’s face before it goes hard again. “Until then, we’ll stay here, keep out of sight.”

Read the rest here <3

#the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys #tlb fanfic #the lost boys fanfic #tlb 1987 #i have a writeblr for this but shh #piles of vampire bs

[samspenandsword]

Congrats on 300, Sam! You’re a talented and lovely person, I can’t wait to see your blog grow. Could I please get  👄 and ⚔️ for the prompts?

I’m in my 20s, use she/her pronouns, and bisexual. I enjoy the prequels era and the Mandalorian era the most, but I’m open to any era and organization!

I’m a Scorpio and an INTJ (just found this out so I’m still trying to make sense of it lol). I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and am covered in tattoos. People say I look like a former soviet spy, so I guess that’s my aesthetic? 😂

Naboo is gorgeous, but I have to say I also really love Takodana. I would love to spend time at Max Kanata’s castle. I have hard time staying in one place or doing the same thing over and over again.

I’m an introvert at heart! I can be personable and outgoing when necessary, but at my core I love to be independent and in my own bubble. I’m shy when I meet new people, but I have no trouble opening up to my friends and family.

Congrats again, my friend! You deserve all the recognition 💖 ✨

Hi Vee!! Thank you so much! I hope you've been doing well this week! And I hope February treats you well!

Sam's Pen and Sword 300 Follower Celebration (Closed)

Vee's Follower Celebration Request

Ship request 👄

For you, I instantly thought of the man himself, Jango Fett. Not only would he find you hot as fuck but he would really appreciate your indepedence. He loves that he had to work to get you to open up, because he's the same way. He's not going to open up right away. Plus, the two of you both have trouble staying in one place for very long (even though Jango's "homebase" eventually becomes Kamino, he doesn't like being cooped up there). He'd enjoy getting to see your expressions (from the safety of his helmet ofc lol) as he takes you to new planets, especially ones with lots of vegetation like Naboo and Takodana. And he also appreciates that your looks make people think twice about messing with you. Honestly, I could see the two of you as one of those amazing, sizzling, slow-burn, "jesus christ you fuck good but just admit you actually love each other for fuck's sake," "fucking FINALLY!" relationships.

Jango walked behind you as you made your way towards Takodana Castle, though it was mostly known simply as Maz's. Jango had grown to appreciate the place, as it was one of the few places in the galaxy where he didn't have to worry about a fight breaking out. He lived for the light, but there were times even he needed to sit down and have a drink without the worry of needing to throw a punch. Ever since he had brought you here the first time, it had become a special place for the both of you. Maz had not only taken a shine to you, but you found beauty and fun on Takodana. Jango had grown weary of the galaxy and its beauties. At least, until you came into his life. You drew eyes as you entered the palace. You drew eyes everywhere you went. You were not only beautiful, but you held such presence. You could blend in no matter where you went, from the seedy streets of Nevarro with the rest of the Guild, to the streets of Coruscant where no one paid any mind to anything but their own business. From the harshness of Tatooine, where no one wanted to be bothered or bothered anyone in return, to the grand city of Theed, where your eyes matched the shade of the clear skies. Maz caught sight of you both, her voice booming despite her small stature. You smiled at her like you did at all your friends - kindly and openly. It was only your friends and family who saw such an expression. Everyone else saw the raise of your eyebrow and starkness of your tattoos. It did wonders for getting people to leave you alone. Though there was the occasional... annoyance. Jango gladly took care of them. One of Maz's servers was quick to bring your usual: a plate of seared dumplings. You swore that no one would ever do dumplings as well as it was done on your homeworld, but Maz was close. Jango simply watched as you dug in, and felt his heart warm as it always did when you were happy. Watching the sparkle in your eye. The upturn of your lips. The comfortable, relaxed set of your shoulders. The laughter you released more easily. It made his heart warm. And behind his helmet, Jango smiled.

Rival request ⚔️

This one was a little harder for me to figure out, but I eventually settled on the Kryze sisters as your ultimate rivals. The two represent two opposite extremes. One of them represents the decimation of an ancient culture, nobility and frivolity, narrowmindedness and ignorance of the bigger picture. The other represents the warped evolution of that ancient culture, hypocrisy, haughtiness and arrogance, and a similar ignorance of the bigger picture. And I can just see you standing behind them during one of their arguments suggesting a compromise of some sort and instantly receiving matching death glares.

Satine's clipped, accented speech was strained with frustration and anger. No one brought it out of her quite like Bo-Katan did, who smirked in front of her older sister. The redhead was getting pleasure from irking Satine. You wanted to scream. This was doing nothing but aggravating the situation beyond repair. You wondered if that was the sisters' true goal. You couldn't imagine it wasn't, the way they were going at it. "Have you learned nothing, Bo?" Satine explained, voice losing its usual regality. "War has devastated our people. There is very nearly nothing left!" "But outlawing our ways, the ways we have lived with for thousands of years, is your answer? The people will never stand for it, Satine. They'll revolt against you faster than you can say 'peace.'" "As if you even believe peace to be an option." "Mandalorian is not only a people, Satine. It is a Creed. It is the Way." "It is not the only way." You closed your eyes as you forced yourself to remain silent. This was doing nothing. They were both right. And both wrong. And oh, so stubborn. Neither of them would budge. And you feared for Mandalore if this stalemate never resolved. The New Mandalorians were looking to Satine as their voice, as their leader. But traditionalists, more conservative people still believed in the old ways. They found their royal voice in Bo-Katan. But they knew they were at a disadvantage. Bo-Katan was younger. She would not be the one ascending to the throne of Mandalore. Those Mandalorians would never follow a pacifist leader. And they were more than willing to wage war to prevent that becoming a reality. And the New Mandalorians would be forced to fight back to avoid destruction. Civil war was on the horizon. And you couldn't bring yourself to care about the sisters, so wrapped up in their squabbling and differing opinions to see the bigger picture. It would be the common people who would suffer most in the war. A war the sisters were only exacerbating. And Kryze sisters would be in for one hell of a surprise when they each came to you for support and found none. You were done. They were on their own. You would be doing what you could for your people.

#samspenandsword follower celebration #samspenandsword 300 follower celebration #follower celebration #300 follower celebration #300 followers #jango fett #jango fett x reader #jango fett x you #satine kryze #bo-katan kryze #thefact0rygirl #probably not relevant but i wrote all of this while listening to songs from barbie the princess and the pauper

[gaycrittercentral]

Hopefully this will brain running  and give you enough energy until the end of the shift 



Instead of the seven sins for Max  how about the seven heavenly virtues for Sam?

( optional  what do you think they do if the seven sins of max meet the heavenly virtues of Sam )

Oh shit dude that’s SO GOOD FJKDLFJKSLJDSKFJS I gotta get out the laptop for this one >:D ok so the seven heavenly virtues (as defined by Wikipedia, anyhow) are sort of opposites of the seven deadly sins, or at least you can interpret them that way. In no particular order they are Kindness, Diligence, Patience, Temperance, Charity, Humility, and Chastity. And HOOOOOO BOY do I have ideas for them I been thinkin about this all night!!

This is gonna get long, obviously, so the rest is under the cut.

First off I just want to discuss how I interpret this concept in general, as well as some potential circumstances that could lead to it happening. As far as I see it, the seven deadly sins are really just normal behaviors taken to the extreme, which can be healthy in moderation; therefore, the heavenly virtues are the same thing but in the opposite direction. They’re values that are good and helpful until you start placing too much emphasis on them and overdoing it, and then they’re harmful to you. Separated from all other aspects of Sam’s personality, many of them are honestly pretty unhealthy despite being so-called virtues.

As for how they could’ve come into existence, either we’re looking at some kind of bizarre dark version of Hugh Bliss who wants to eat all the bad emotions people experience (lol wonder what he'd be like) or, as I feel is easier to implement, he decided to pluck out all Sam’s virtues so they could go spread his bliss in the world and what’s left of Sam won’t want to help Max defeat Bliss anymore. I’m gonna call the remaining part of him sinful Sam I guess \_:p_/ for that matter, let’s talk about him first!

Sinful Sam (or just sin Sam bc that sounds funny to me)

Without any of his usual kindness, patience and good humor, Sam is kind of like his noir self on steroids. At first Max is like “oh shit Sam with no limits!! Ooooooh this is gonna be fun!” but then sin Sam immediately starts insulting him and growling at him and demonstrating a total lack of care and concern and Max is like “oh. actually you suck like this let’s go get those stupid virtues >:/” Sin Sam is quick to anger, quick to violence, all too happy to steal things in plain view of people, pretty egotistical, impatient, and just plain rude. He’s like if you took all of Sam’s usual personality and then sucked the humor out of it so he really just means every awful thing he says. He might even get to curse for real ooooh but maybe Hugh Bliss bleeps all of it so every other sentence is just furious beeping and Max gasping in mock offense. He also has lost his affection for pretty much everyone and everything, including Max, so he’s annoyed with him the whole time they’re getting his virtues back. Although, since he’s basically every deadly sin at once, he did get to keep lust and he might flirt with Max just a little. Max is reeeeally hoping they get enough of a break at some point to have a really violent hate-fueled makeout sesh lmao (they probably won’t and he is going to be so heartbroken over it).

Now, as for the virtues themselves…

Temperance (liver)

Temperance is basically the concept of moderation and self-restraint, so if we’re doing comparisons to the sins, it’s probably closest to being the opposite of gluttony. I think he’s on board with the idea of reclaiming all Sam’s virtues from the get go, because what’s more moderate than reuniting all parts of your soul? But maybe you have to collect a few of the others before he’ll rejoin the party since sinful Sam is just so unpleasant. He doesn’t want to be the only one stuck with all those vices, y’know? He’s also probably the closest to Sam’s real personality, although a little bland and very indecisive. Since he agrees with the concept of putting them all back together, Max tries to recruit him to help, but he’s just like “Hmm. Well, part of me wants to help you…and part of me doesn’t. Let me think about it for a while…” and basically he never decides one way or another and keeps flinging Max away whenever he tries to brute force it. Maybe you just get him a coin to flip in the end and once it lands on heads he concedes and allows Max to take whatever part of Sam he’s got. Honestly I’m not sure what part that would be—maybe his liver lmao, since it’s responsible for alcohol management and all that. That’s kind of temperance, right?

Patience (tail)

Probably closest to the opposite of wrath? I feel like Patience is just meditating in a quiet room somewhere looking peaceful and cannot be moved or bothered in any way. Max can attack him and chew on him and insult him all he wants but nothing gets a proper response, even if you ask sinful Sam to yell at him or punch him (he yelps and shakes his hand out like “god DAMN that hurt >:’(”). The guy's as stoic as a stone. Maybe he gets Sam’s tail, which makes it a problem that he’s sitting cross-legged and can’t be persuaded to get up. All he says to Max is maddeningly calm stuff like “Not yet, Max,” or “All in good time, good buddy.” I think he’s the last one to be collected because he just waits until you have all the others and then gets up like “:) ok it’s time now.”

Charity (left ear)

Opposite of greed, obviously. Charity is HYSTERICAL to me oh my god ok here’s my concept for him; the minute he pops into existence, he hands Max a random item from Sam’s inventory delightedly and then runs off to give away every single item they’ve collected so far and even all their case memorabilia from the office. You find him by following the trail of people he’s ‘donated’ things to and reclaiming your items, until you finally track him down and Max asks for his ear back, to which he’s just like “oh sure! Here you go!” and pulls it right off his head, looking sort of surprised when he abruptly pops out of existence. Afterwards, sin Sam is like “Oh that’s good to have back I guess. I feel less stingy now…I’m still keeping this stuff, though.”

Diligence (right hand)

Diligence is sort of the opposite of sloth; it’s the concept of working hard, constantly. It’s like the main thing that led to capitalism lmao. I think he gets Sam’s right hand. He instantly takes off to go to work arresting as many criminals as possible, and by the time you track him down he claims to have taken all the muggers and whatnot in the area into custody and is just filling out a huge stack of paperwork for their arrests. To me he’s like if you took all the angst out of Noir Sam and left him as a workaholic shell of his former self jfkdljfhdfsd. He’s so focused on doing his job that Max just can’t get to him. He probably has to commit a crime to get Diligence's attention so he can fight him and get the hand back lmao. Once Sam gets him back he comments, “That’s funny. I suddenly feel like I have the will to power through that paperwork we’ve been putting off for three weeks.” And Max is just like “Oh, good! Somebody has to and it’s not gonna be me lmao”

Chastity (left hand)

Opposite of lust! I know it’d made sense to give him Sam’s heart, but instead I'm giving him Sam's left hand so we can make a joke about asking for his hand in marriage lmao. And I’m gonna be so honest right now, I love a shy Sam so I’m just dumping all of that onto him shkfljdlfshfs. He’s probably just sitting quietly and reading a book or something, and he hides behind it with a little squeak when he sees Max. He’s all blushy and shit lmaoooo, sinful Sam hates his ass. If Max tries to get near him to grab Sam's hand back he gets all flustered and insists they wait til marriage or something ridiculous (reminding him that they're already married does no good, he insists they have to do it again. ok gayass). Maybe they have to put on a quick wedding so he’ll let Max near him lmao. Maybe he’s hanging out at Sybil’s and they can recruit her to marry them since she’s queen of Canada and probably has that kind of power, right? When she says to kiss the groom, Chastity gives Max the lamest, most timid little cheek smooch ever (sinful Sam gags lol). Max takes the opportunity to shock him with a dip and a proper kiss before yanking his hand off lmao. Afterwards, Max goes, “Wait, are you gonna be a prude now? Did I just miss my window for crazy, kinky hate sex?” and sin Sam’s like “well…that does seem a bit much. Maybe something a little more vanilla?” “oh god DAMNIT”

Humility (right eye)

Opposite of pride, and honestly, kind of an embodiment of Sam’s lack of self worth. Pride is healthy until it turns into a braggy, ego kind of thing, and on the flip side, humility is helpful until it turns into negative self-talk, doubting yourself, and downplaying your own value. Max finds Humility locked in Bosco’s restrooms, having taken shelter there to read self-help books and try to ‘fix’ himself. When Max asks why he didn’t pick someplace less gross, he mumbles something like “It’s where somebody like me deserves to be.” Sinful Sam just shoots back, “Yeah, well, would you either get better already or find a gutter to wallow in instead? Some of us need to take a leak.” Max laughs instinctively and then scolds sin Sam when they hear Humility sniffle a little. You can try a couple different dialogue options to get him to come out of the bathroom, like an emotional appeal: “C’mon, Sam, you’re not all that bad! And honestly, I like when you are bad! I mean, this guy out here might be getting on my nerves but he’s also a real heartthrob.” Sin Sam eyes him and goes, “…Noted.” But Humility just insists that he’s imperfect and full of sin and needs to keep working on himself before he deserves to be around Max. You can also try the practical approach. “Seriously, though, ya can’t stay in there all day. I mean, what if I need to pee?” “You deserve a cleaner bathroom anyway :(“

Maybe you end up getting him back by just giving sinful Sam a bunch of cups of coffee until eventually he’s like “Ok that’s it, I’ve had it” and kicks down the bathroom door, throws Humility out, and props the door back up so he can piss lmao. Max wastes no time in cornering Humility, although he might take a second to be like “Sam, get this through your dense, bizarrely-shaped skull—I like you, and I think you’re a pretty good guy, and you don’t have to be perfect. That’ll probably be easier to believe once you get back with the more reasonable parts of you, but just trust me for now, ok?” Humility just kinda sniffles and goes “ok :’(“ and lets Max reunite him with the rest of himself. Sam comes back out of the bathroom with his other ear intact and goes “Yikes. I feel like I need a couple dozen therapy sessions.” “Yay! Attaboy, Sammy!”

And lastly, maaaaaybe my favorite—Kindness! (heart)

I guess kindness is kind of the opposite of envy?? Idk these comparisons get a little blurry after a while. Anyway, kindness and the ways in which it can be harmful is a topic near and dear to my soul because it’s something I struggle with a lot (along with every other people pleaser on the planet, I imagine). I feel obligated to try to be as friendly and helpful as I possibly can 24/7 and really guilty when I feel like I haven’t given my all, and obviously that’s not healthy. Sooo that’s the cliff notes for this poor boy lmao.

Max finds Kindness volunteering at a charity place or something, all cheerful and happy-go-lucky. The minute he sees Max he gasps delightedly and rushes over to greet him all excited, immediately swooping him up in a hug and licking his cheek. Max responds with the usual performative disgust and demands to be released, but instead of teasing him like Sam normally would, Kindness just goes “Ok! Sorry, buddy :)” and sets him back down. Weird, but whatever. Max tells him to hand over the heart, but Kindness insists that he can be much more helpful without all those other vices and virtues weighing him down, and he’s got a lot more good to do before he can rest. Asking sin Sam to restrain him doesn’t help because Kindness tries to hug anybody who gets near him and sin Sam is just like “oh HELL no I’m not touching that guy.” Through talking with him as he keeps handing out lunches or whatever, it becomes clear that Kindness has been helping everyone in sight with everything he can, giving away all his time and energy and completely neglecting himself; he gave his lunch away to someone who he thought needed it more and now he feels lightheaded, he’s been listening to people’s problems and probably taking on more stress than he’s really able to handle, and he’s so focused on making Max comfortable and taking care of him that he doesn’t argue when Max or sin Sam do anything that would normally bother him. Like Max could bite him and he’d be like “Ow! Oh, I’m sorry, do you need a chew toy, buddy? You can keep using my arm if you like!” even though he’s clearly in pain. Maybe sin Sam accuses him of being a masochist and he just chirps, “Oh, I’m not :)” which is honestly more worrisome because if you don’t like pain, why do you keep allowing people to hurt you?

Eventually Max gets fed up with him ignoring his own needs and hatches a plan, saying he needs help with something back at the office. Kindness comes along happily, obviously. Max tells him to sit on the couch and relax while he grabs some snacks and coffee. The whole time, he has to keep insisting that Kindness stay seated instead of jumping back up to help. Eventually he grabs Kindness by the shoulders to explain that having his partner as, essentially, a self-offered indentured servant is funny and all, but it’s making him uncomfortable. They work so well together because they’ve always been equal, and as high and mighty as Max likes to act sometimes, it feels bad to just keep taking everything from his best friend and to be unable to give anything back. In a dreadfully ironic twist, preventing Max (and others, by extension) from doing anything for him is sort of unkind in and of itself. “So just keep your ass seated and let me do what I need to do, okay? You’re stressing me out. Eat your donut and calm down already.” And Kindness, maybe a little starry-eyed, finally concedes and allows Max to grab a blanket and finish making them some coffee. Once that’s done they sit on the couch together under the blanket for a minute and watch some junk TV while they eat a much-needed snack (by the way, sin Sam has long since escaped this mushiness and is probably staring longingly at Flint Paper’s door or something. Ah, Flint Paper...). After a few minutes of that, Max ventures, “Sooo…can I get that heart now, or…?” “Aw, buddy. You know you already have it.” And with a final little side hug, which Max finally returns with only a little grumbling about how sappy it is, he poofs out of existence. Sin Sam pops back in after a second like “Max, I need to apologize. I feel like I yelled at you a lot today and I really don’t know where that came from. You ok, little pal?” “lol yeah it was funny” “oh! ok then. You gonna eat the rest of that donut?”

I don’t know if there’s a particular order they get taken care of in, besides Patience going last. I figure in the spirit of the games you could really get them in whatever order you like. And I don’t have colors for everybody yet, but I feel like Chastity matches well with a soft pastel pink and Kindness is kind of a warm dandelion yellow. As for interactions with Max’s vices, oof, I should probably make that a different post since this one got so long ^^; But hoooooo boy I’m def gonna write it up!! These things are super fun to think about and I feel honored to be the first person I’ve seen put out some thoughts about them. Thanks so much for the prompt dude!! And ummm if anybody would like to ask anything else about this funky little concept I would be all too happy to answer teehee

(Oh also I’m definitely gonna draw them! But that’s gonna take a second so I figured I’d just post this while I’ve got it and put up some sketches of ‘em later, especially since they don’t come across that well without color and that’s gonna take even longer. I’m SO excited though hfjkldshfkdlsjfhsk)

#also this really did give me the energy and excitement I needed for my shift and drive home so thank you so much!! #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #freelance husbands #my art #asks #seven heavenly virtues au #i guess teehee #like I said PLEASE feel free to ask more this is so fun hehehhhe

[staceymcgillicuddy]

okay wait also before i go to bed: babysitters club au please. bonus points for including at least one ridiculous outfit description here. triple bonus if the outfit includes a jaunty beret with like a sequined tiger appearing to leap from chrissy's forehead at some point. (sorry for plagiarizing u, ann m. martin. probably.)

YES EXCELLENT. OKAY. My brain immediately went to mapping the characters onto their BSC counterparts and then this happened.

Nancy Wheeler as Kristin Amanda Thomas. I will not be taking comments at this time.

Chrissy as Mary-Anne Spier. HEAR ME OUT, because I know Chrissy is aesthetically the Stacey BUT Mary-Anne is quiet and reserved until you piss her off and then she turns into Little Miss I Love Myself and gets sassy haircuts and is the only member of the BSC with a boyfriend AND if she's Mary Anne I can kill off Laura.

For Claudia Lynn Kishi, I'm going back and forth on El or Will, because El has a very unique sense of fashion, and would probably do well with some of Claudia's canonical outfits, while Will is a talented artist who probably needs his own phone line since he keeps breaking his mother's when he calls her from the Upside Down.

Argyle as Dawn Read Schafer because he has long hair and is from California and some people find him annoying but I like him.

Steve as Anastasia "Stacey" Elizabeth "Boontsie" McGill because if he was from New York City he'd probably talk a lot about being from New York City. Also he probably has the nickname Boontsie.

Barb as Mallory Pike because Mallory is a horse girl and Barb gives me big horse girl energy. (Also lol that Mallory doesn't have a middle name? I guess her parents forgot? I don't really care for Mallory.)

Max as Jessi Davis Ramsey because nobody on Stranger Things is canonically a dancer BUT Jessi was cool and precocious and hung out with older kids while being suave, just like Max.

Erica as Shannon Louisa Kilbourne because she gets. shit. done. and you can't spell America without Erica. Seriously, though, Shannon was a high-achieving mfer with no patience for fools.

Eddie as Logan Bruno SIMPLY for Mary Anne proximity but also because I think making Logan a metalhead would be the most interesting thing that anyone ever did for Logan's character.

Robin as Abby Stevenson because she showed up late in the series, stole my heart, and is definitely a lesbian. Abby also doesn't have a middle name, so that's fun.

This leaves me with Lucas, Mike, Jonathan, and Dustin if I'm doing main cast. SORRY, KIDS. Let's see how many "other" characters I remember from Stoneybrook.

Lucas as Sam Thomas because Sam seemed cool and was kind of a jock but still had time to flirt inappropriately with Stacey, but in this universe we'll say it's APPROPRIATE flirting with Max-as-Jessi and Lucas-as-Sam is 11 not 15.

Mike as Trevor Sandbourne because IIRC Trevor dated Claudia for a while which works if you are a Byler OR a Mileven shipper, which probably says a lot about why both those ships are fun!

Jonathan as Bart Taylor because of the Nancy proximity, only instead of coaching a kid's softball team, he takes pictures for the yearbook and Nancy, in addition to running the BSC, a softball team, solving 70 mysteries, and going on many trips around the world in various Super Specials, is also the editor of the yearbook.

Dustin as Janine Kishi simply because Janine was a geek who liked computers and shit, and Dustin enjoys such things. I'm sorry, Dustin! The BSC did not have as many nerd tropes as I needed!

Bonus:

Angela as Cokie Mason because fuck her

Jason as Alan Gray because Alan is the closest thing the series has to a real dick

Billy as Robert Brewster (if you're into Harringrove and subscribe to my Steve-as-Stacey theory) because they dated.

Anyway, this took FAR longer than it should have and I am like 30% proud of it. Please be gentle.

#bsc diaries #hellcheerocracy #this one was fun #stranger things headcanons #bsc au #stranger things #some of these are stretches i will admit #but i got all the kids in by jove

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 49 - I need your advice.

Episode 3. Sam: At some point along his sobbing, he got enough, got off the floor and walked to his room, grabbed his laptop, walked to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of McKinney-made alcohol and poured a glass, wiping his eyes while he quickly found his way to the only thing he could think of right now. Pornhub!

Adrian: I need your advice.

Raven: He startled surprised and turned around, looking at Adrian standing behind him in his living room all of a sudden Well good evening to you too he spoke in a slightly amused tone and stood up so he could better face his uninvited boyfriend, then frowned soft as he noticed the look on Adrian's face, stuck somewhere between sadness, anger and confusion What happened? his voice soft and concerned now

Adrian: He sighed deep It's Sam… I feel like he's slipping from my hands.

Raven: I see he slowly walked closer, grabbing one of Adrian's hands how about we sit down with a beer and try to figure it out, together?

Adrian: He nodded soft, then surprisingly wrapped his arms around Raven's waist and buried his face in his hair, softly sobbing

Raven: It's okay, we will find a solution. He quickly wrapped his arms around Adrian, stroking his back soothingly

Andy: He had been parked for a while, not far from the drama at Sam's house, trying to take care of business on his own, he had already finished twice, but it wasn't doing it for him. He needed more. Much more. He looked at the time, it wasn't late enough for bar patrol yet, but it was too late for a diner hook up. He could head for a portal, jump to NY… although it would be way too early in the day over there…. he could do the forest. Yes. He nodded to himself and opened the glove department, grabbing a joint, lighting it Get lit, get fucked he chuckled hoarsely to himself and lit the joint, taking a big drag of it, then suddenly noticed a small bag in the bottom of the car, kicked a bit to the side on the passenger floor wtf? He grabbed the bag, noticing the teddy bear Shit! *He contemplated a bit what to do, while still smoking, deciding the house would be full of people, so no danger in dropping off the bear, right? He turned the ignition, but his car just made a sad sound and didn't start. He tried again. Nothing. And again. Still nothing. You piece of shit! *he shook his head and grabbed the bear and his keys* Guess we're fucking walking then! He got out of the car, right away regretting it, when he realised he was still only in a tshirt, sweat pants and boots Fuuuuck me!! He chuckled hoarse and held up the bear, pointing in the direction of Sam's house It's just through these damn trees… a couple minutes max… are you up for it? He chuckled hoarse and shook his head and started walking alright, let's just get it over with. They reached the house within 3 minutes, and gently knocked the door before entering, not in any form of way expecting what they were about to walk in on

Sam: Half laying over the kitchen counter, legs spread wide, fucking himself with a large cucumber, moaning soft, while watching Andy on pornhub, fucking some random twink fuck me daddy!

Andy: biggest meltdown of his life

Sam: Slowly turning his head, noticing his dad DAD! He quickly stood up, the cucumber slipping out of him, taking two drunken, stumbly steps towards his dad, forgetting his pants around his ankles and face planted down on the kitchen floor with a loud slam

Andy: Jesus Christ! he kicked the door shut with his heel and rushed towards Sam in the kitchen Are you alright?!?

Sam: No! I'm not fucking alright! He peeled himself off the floor, quickly pulling his pants up I'm humiliated, embarrassed, Sad, angry, confused, lost, hopeless and so ashamed of myself and what you just saw and how I reacted when I screamed everyone's head off and not only told Alex and dad that I wanted them to fuck me on top of all the fucking baby stuff, but also if no one was going to fuck me in the baby room, they could all piss off!

Andy: He couldn't help but snort you did what?

Sam: It's not funny dad! I just wanna dig a deep hole and hide there the rest of my life! He shook his head lightly it's not funny. I don't want this pregnancy, and I don't want these hormones. I don't want Sparrow and I know that's cruel, she's so little and innocent, but I asked for none of all of this! And it's too much! I can't recognize my own life, I can barely recognize myself or my partner! And now you walked in on me while I was trying to live out a dirty fantasy about you, hoping it would be a one time thing and I'd be over it so I can return to some sort of normality again, but not only am I more frustrated and horny than before, I'm also completely fucking humiliated and he got interrupted as Andy's loud voice sounded from the laptop speakers behind him

Andy on speakers: Yeah, tell me what you want me to do to you!

Sam: ….. he shook his head lightly fuck me… just fuck me

Andy: he stood up slowly and walked to the counter, closing down the laptop screen, then took a deep breath and placed the bear on the counter it would be taking advantage off a situation. It would be taking advantage of one of the people closest to me. I can't do that, no matter how much I want to. God knows I want to, Sam!

Sam: Yeah. He slowly stood up, and scratched his arm awkwardly I'd like you to leave then.

Andy: Can I call someone else at least before I leave? I don't like the thought of you being alone right now.

Sam: I'm fucking still alone dad! No matter who you call! No one is going to fuck me right! Everybody is so fucking busy wrapping me in cotton! I don't need to be wrapped in cotton! I'm a filthy fucking whore and I want someone to skull fuck me till I fucking pass out!

Andy: Sam, I -

Sam: Yeah, it's totally fucking okay when you say shit like that, and everyone is supposed to find sympathy and cater to your needs, but as soon as it's me, holy fuck! everyone turns into baby sitters and oh we gotta be careful cause maybe this isn't what Sam really wants! You know what?!? On a regular basis, I'm one of the fucking only sane people around here, so if I were to regret shit later on, I'm pretty fucking sure I could take responsibility for my own fucking actions and own the fact that I was the one wanting it, and I got what I asked for! Just like I already did with Niyol and his party potion! You wanna know what happened? I laid for at least an hour, moaning, sweaty in a pool of my own cum, imagining you fucking me through a glory hole, taking me like I have never been taken before, inviting strangers to use me while you watched, and I have never been more turned on in my life! And I fucking liked it, I was begging for more! And then the others woke me up, cause poor little Sam couldn't handle it! Most of the time I want to knock myself out just to be able to go back! So yeah, maybe I am more like you than anyone ever guessed, but then again, Evan isn't exactly vanilla in bed either, so why should I be?! Maybe I have been holding myself back this whole time, or maybe it's all you fucking people around me holding me back! Maybe you're so fucking busy being the town slut that there's no space for anyone else!

Andy: … right. He took a deep breath and nodded at the bear I just wanted to bring you that since you forgot him. He shook his head lightly and quickly walked to the front door You know what, Sam? I might be the town whore, but at least I'm not the town bitch! he quickly walked out the door, slamming it after himself. Groaning loud as he once again was met with the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt Fucking fantastic! He quickly marched through the tall pines separating Sam and Adrian's houses, surprised to find the gate locked and the house dark. He kicked the gate fucking awesome! My car wont start and the only fucking town mechanic isn't home! He turned on his heels and marched out on the road, then through the trees he had walked through earlier, nearly slipping twice Goddammit! finally reaching his car and unlocked it with shivering hands, slamming the door hard as he got in, trying to start it again, but to no use. He punched his steering wheel and shook his head, then grabbed his phone, dialling Congo's number. No signal You gotta be fucking kidding me!!! He threw his phone on the dashboard and contemplated where to go next. Doru was only few meters down the road, but it was rare he was home at this time of the evening. Lina was further up on the other side of Sam's house, at least she would have a warm home and a phone. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare his shivering body to return to the snow, as his car door opened on the passenger seat and Sam got in, slamming the door after him Awesome! he spoke loud and sarcastic

Sam: He sighed deep I'm sorry.

Andy: ….

Sam: I was pretty horrible.

Andy: Yeah well… not gonna take that away from you.

Sam: He frowned soft I don't know what's going on with me, and it's terrifying.

Andy: And you forget I know…

Sam: I know…

Andy: Look I get that you are overwhelmed and hormonal, gawd I get it, Sam, but you are attacking everyone left and right, which probably, to be fair, proves that you are more like me after all he sighed soft and forced a half smile Look, I of all people understand how much it sucks to get your needs pushed aside, even if it means people mean well. He took a deep breath look, I know you enough to know you don't ever have this strong reactions. I have never heard you be rude and you have never raised your voice at me before. Beside I am quite shocked you said those things to Alex and even more so Evan, and in front of everyone else. You're a private person when it comes to your sex life, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But hearing you say all those things are quite frankly both startling and shocking-

Sam: I know, I'm so sorry, I really don't know what's gotten into me, I'm a horrible person! I would never ever-

Andy: Sam… I know he placed a hand on Sam's thigh I know. But consider that maybe you're not the only one who gets scared and confused about it all.

Sam: He nodded soft

Andy: On that note he moved his hand again, and ran it nervously through his hair It's also fucking hot

Sam: … what? he looked at his dad questioning

Andy: Yeah he bit his bottom lip lightly hand on my heart, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with you. According to society I should probably ask you to see a shrink. But I can't point fingers at you for wanting to do something I have already been doing with your brother for years, though it is a slightly different case, none the less, it's still my own son I'm fucking from time to time, though that's way less lately and quite frankly leaves a void in me…. but yeah… I also want to help you. Not just from a town whore point of view… mostly from being your dad and I simply can't stand seeing you suffer like this. But without trying to brush your needs aside again, and knowing you are probably right that you are one of the sanest people around here and you could probably take responsibility for your possible regrets in the future, I still don't want to be your regret… Do you get what I'm saying?

Sam: He nodded soft and lowered his head, feeling heard and understood, but still his needs weren't being met. And it all exploded into a deep despair, leaving his body aching to be touched, his skin buzzing, and his eyes filling with tears that soon enough started spilling over

Andy: Sam his voice got ultra soft as he noticed his son's tears dripping down on the floor, and reached out, stroking his cheek gently

Sam: He sighed longingly from feeling the touch, though it was cold, and leaned his face into the palm, his lower lip brushing against his dad's thumb with a surrendering sigh I wont regret you… he whispered softly and looked up at his dad with wet, pleading eyes

Andy: He bit his bottom lip, trying his best to hold back, but realising he'd once again be pushing Sam's needs aside then. You better not… I'll ground you then!

Sam: He snorted softly, appreciating the joke

Andy: He took a deep shaky breath and let go of Sam's cheek I'm scared he chuckled nervously I'm actually scared… how do we even do this? I mean, surely you don't want it to happen here, do you?

Sam: I don't know? he shook his head lightly I didn't really think this far

Andy: Yeah he shook his head lightly maybe this is a bad idea…

⛔ DISLAIMER⛔ The following scene, is the main reason I haven't posted any story updates lately. It's been hard for me to make this public, cause I myself have questioned if I even want this in my story. It's crossing the line, even for me, but I've always strived to write what my characters want/need, even if I personally disagree. I don't see a point writing a story that isn't somewhat challenging me as a writer, and this scene certainly did in many ways. Alas, I've decided to keep it, and also include it here. But be warned, this is going to be a quite long intimate scene between two closely related people. If this turns your stomach, I don't blame you, and you are free to skip this chapter part or my whole story for that matter. I do not condone or promote what these characters do, they are fictional, supernatural and this is not to portrait sex in real life or my personal life. Thank you. ❌Sex scene START - readers must be 18+❌ Sam: He looked at his dad, he was clearly hard, his dick standing tall under the lose sweatpants, creating a tent, and there were nothing he wanted more than feeling it inside himself, the thought only nearly made him cum, so he wasn't about to let the possible slim opportunity slip away that fast, so he quickly turned his position on the seat so his whole body was facing his dad and reached out, stroking Andy's dick outside his pants

Andy: The car was significantly dark, but the surrounding snow had been a good help in at the very least lift the evening veil to a point where he could see most of what was going on in the small cabin, and there were no doubt Sam's eyes were very hungry as he slipped a hand inside Andy's sweat pants and dragged his dick out Sammmhh he let a good amount of air out, feeling the cold air against his warm dick, and Sam's warm hand, fumbling nervous yet determined what are you doing to me?

Sam: Stroking your dick he let slip, hushed and somewhat questioning, his heart pounding fast and hard as he quickly slipped a hand inside his own pants and dragged his own dick out touch me

Andy: A long sigh of pleasure escaped him, and he quickly pushed himself forwards, leaning over to Sam's side of he car, quickly locking his cold hand around Sam's dick, leaning his forehead against Sam's and sighed soft with longing and lust. Tell me I'm doing the right thing…

Sam: You're doing the right thing he whispered steamy against Andy's lips don't stop.

Andy: He moaned soft from Sam's words and shivered I need a bit of help… this is very unfamiliar ground…

Sam: He nodded soft what do you need from me? Stroking Andy's dick more firmly

Andy: Tell me where the line goes…

Sam: No line…

Andy: No line? their words just steamy whispers by now

Sam: He nodded soft no lines

Andy: So if I were to do this he leaned in, kissing Sam's neck demanding

Sam: A soft moan escaping him as he looked at the window, starting to fog up with all their steamy heavy breathing

Andy: It would be okay?

Sam: Yesss he arched his back, his body starting to slowly move back and forwards, gliding his dick inside Andy's hand

Andy: He moaned soft as he felt Sam slow fucking his hand and tightened his grip starting to slow fuck Sam's hand God I want you!

Sam: He moaned again and slipped a leg in between the two seats, spreading his legs as open as the tight space allowed, rubbing Andy's dick against his butt I want you too…

Andy: He moaned deeper fuck! leaning into a deep French kiss, now more or less laying on top of his son

Sam: Half laying, half sitting, feeling intensely dizzy and weak as his tongue greedy massaged against Andy's, feeling an over powering lust rush over him, whimpering soft from frustration and impatience

Andy: He pulled slightly out of the kiss, hesitating by Sam's whimpering Should I stop?

Sam: He shook his head fiercely Don't stop, please! his eyes flickering I'm fucking desperate, if you stop I will literally melt into a pool of shame and-

Andy: Then tell me what you need, please…

Sam: Fuck me! And don't hold back! he whispered soft and pulled Andy back into the kiss

Andy: He moaned deep as all his bravery and attempts to hold back went out the foggy windows, and he grabbed his sons pants and forced them enough down his ass, to be able to push himself inside Sam with a relieved moan Fuuuuuck!!!

Sam: He moaned surprised and grabbed onto Andy's shoulders, holding on for his dear life

Andy: *He quickly built up a significant strength behind his movements, pushing himself deep and demanding in and out of Sam, a couple of soft grunts escaping him, hardly able to believe this was happening!

Sam: He moaned deep and lustful, digging his fingers into his dad's shoulders, answering his dad's movements by pushing his ass tighter against him, leaning up towards his face, quickly locking his lips with his again, French kissing him sloppy and uncoordinated, feeling as if he wasn't able to force his mouth open enough, and kissing Andy deep enough!

Andy: He moaned soft into Sam's mouth and started moving a bit faster, picking up a fast rhythm, a soft clapping sound starting to form in the space around them, the sound of his own warm groin clapping against Sam's ass. Sam's ass… SAM'S ASS!!! Fuuuuuuuck!!! he moaned in Sam's mouth and got caught up, starting to fuck him hard and demanding

Sam: He moaned loud and surprised, pressing one hand against the roof of the red car, the other hand against the foggy window, slipping a few cm down it, a couple louder moans escaping him as he opened his eyes and fully realised who was fucking him! Dad he gasped soft and felt so close to cumming

Andy: Mh he suddenly frowned and felt wrong about the whole thing, scared he had gone too far and fucked up their usually tight and solid relationship, quickly stopping his movements and got off Sam, pulling his own pants back up and returning to his seat I'm sorry, I can't do this.

Sam: He looked at his dad in disbelief, his heart pounding in his throat, as he felt more humiliated than earlier, laying there butt naked, ready to cum, and then get denied like this! He quickly sat up, hardly believing that he of all people would get denied by his dad, pulling up his pants as he stumbled out into the cold air

Andy: Sam! Can we talk about it please? he yelled from back in the car

Sam: No! Fuck you!!! he screamed back at the top of his lungs and started running off between the trees, hurt, tears pressing in his eyes, another panic attack further overwhelming him

Andy: Sam! He rushed out of the car and ran after his son stop!! Wait up!!

Sam: NO!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!! STAY AWAY FROM ME! He nearly slipped, stumbling a few meters till he finally managed to grab onto one of the tall trees, preventing himself from falling

Andy: Sam! He caught up with him in a matter of few steps, grabbing onto his arm

Sam: Don't ever fucking touch me again! I want nothing to do with you! I completely exposed myself to you and you weren't even a decent enough asshole to fuck me! You call yourself a whore and a pervert and then you can't even fuck the shit out of me when I literally beg you to!! And I have to parent you, guide you through it and get your dick out! You have literally over 100% fucking porn videos with strangers online for everybody to fap to! You're literally a fucking 24 hours open slut and cum dump and you can't even keep it up enough to fuck the son you claim you have wanted to fuck since I was a teen! What the fuck is wrong with you?!??!

Andy: He grabbed Sam's other arm, shaking him furiously You want a parent or you want a fuck?!??! I'll give you both you spoiled self-intitled fucking brat!!! Stop fucking attacking everyone just because we might be just as lost and confused as you are!!! Don't force people to have sex with you just because you have an itch and stop blaming your inability to seek what you need in a healthy way on everyone else!!

Sam: That's rich, coming from the guy who would rather snort coke off a strangers dick in a public bathroom than ask the next guy he's crushing on to be his boyfriend. Tell me dad, did you have the courage to fuck Dalton yet, or is it just me you're a complete useless pussy with?!?

Andy: He glared at Sam with angry eyes Don't fucking drag him into it! And I will give you fucking useless pussy! He roughly slammed Sam face forwards up a tree, pinning him against the cold surface, as he got his own dick out and aggressively tore Sam's sweatpants open by the seam, thrusting himself back inside Sam, fucking him fiercely

Sam: A deep surrendering moan escaping him as he looked at his well lit house in front of them, only few trees and a dirt road separating them yeahhh… fuck me daddy! it fell from his lips

Andy: Oh god! He instantly felt ready to cum and grabbed onto Sam's hips, fucking him absolutely merciless Say that again!

Sam: He moaned deep and dug his fingers into the bark, feeling strong shivers down his spine ….. fuck….. me …… daddyyyyyyhhhh he roared loud and surrendering as he came so hard his legs literally buckled and he fell against the tree and down on his knees on the snow covered ground, panting for air as he nearly face planted into the snow, his whole body shivering from overwhelming pleasure

Andy: Shit! Are you okay? he quickly pulled his pants up and stepped closer to Sam, observing him as good as he could in the dark, the snow thankfully making their surroundings less hard to read

Sam: He nodded slow and tried his best to get back up on his shaky legs, slipping twice

Andy: He caught him second time, grabbing Sam's hips firmly You alright? he spoke in a lowered hoarse, husky voice, his breath steamy hot against Sam's skin

Sam: Yeahhh he nodded in slow-motion, then shivered

Andy: You're getting cold… fffuck I'm getting cold! he shivered as well and chuckled hoarse Is there any way we can take this inside, or at least back to my car? A motel? Anything?

Sam: He nodded fast and quickly walked off in between the last few trees separating them from the road, separating them from Sam's warm house

Andy: He quickly followed his son, no longer able to think clear

Sam: He made a sudden stop on the road, and turned around towards Andy, quickly grabbing his hand as he was within reach, locking Andy's hand around his own boner with a soft moan

Andy: Fuck! He firmly stroke Sam's dick, sighing a heavy amount of steamy air out

Sam: mmmhhh he moaned soft and felt intoxicated, looking up at the moon, loving the intense feeling of Andy's hand, the cold and the pull of the moon

Andy: He slowly got on his knees, not giving a fuck about the snow any longer, as he hungrily swallowed Sam's dick, sucking it firmly

Sam: He moaned surprised and leaned his head sharply backwards, a long loud howl escaping him as he finally gave fully in to not only his hormones but also his animal instincts

Andy: He gagged surprised as Sam suddenly thrust his hips demandingly forwards and his dick gently poked into Andy's throat, then it happened again, this time stronger, more determined, and as a result he gagged harder, this time pulling his head away from Sam's dick, a string of saliva dangling from his mouth as he coughed and pulled down his pants, starting to jerk himself almost aggressively Again!

Sam: A wide almost animalistic grin appeared on his face as he quickly pushed his dick back into Andy's mouth and started face fucking him fiercely

Andy: He coughed and gagged several times, saliva running down his chin, tears gathering in his eyes from the sheer impact, his arousal exploding and he came with a loud relieved moan

Sam: He came as well, hard, stumbling a few steps backwards, then finally regaining balance, just to pant hard from growing hunger, looking at his dad, looking at the house, then pointed at the house Inside!

Andy: He got up so quick he stumbled a few steps then slow ran after Sam, catching up with him, as the two of them stumbled through the kitchen door, grabbing Sam by the hips, forcefully slamming him up against the counter, pressing his boner against Sam's cold ass, while desperately kicking his own pants off completely, then pushed himself back inside Sam with a deep groan, right away, fucking him no mercy

Sam: OH YeeeeeeeaHHhhHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!! he roared so loud it was echoing out into the garden, the front door left wide open

Andy: Tell me you want it!

Sam: I want it!!!

Andy: Tell me you need it!

Sam: I need it!!! his upper body collapsing down on the counter, faceplanting onto the cold wood, his legs trembling so much he was sure if he wasn't already faceplanted against the counter, it would be only seconds before he'd crash onto the floor

Andy: Fuck you just take it he mumbled to himself between pants and gave Sam a couple extra large pounds

Sam: He roared loud again and gasped for air Don't hold back, don't hold back!

Andy: He moaned loud and long from Sam's words, and quickly slipped a couple fingers inside him as well, wiggling them around

Sam: A long earpiercing roar escaped him this time, and he came just as Andy's dick accidentally slipped out of him, making him squirt down on the floor

Andy: Oh my fucking god!!! he bit his bottom lip hard, and observed Sam's dripping hole Do that again!

Sam: M-m-make me! He stuttered, and shivered from pleasure

Andy: He grinned wide and jammed his dick hard back inside Sam, and started fucking him rather violently

Sam: His head got knocked into the kitchen wall with each pound, nothing but leaking cum and soft whimper escaping him at this point

Andy: Fucking Sam like a mad-man, then all of a sudden dragged his dick out of Sam

Sam: He squirted again, clear liquid splattering down on his kitchen floor, a long begging whimper escaping him

Andy: He forced himself back inside Sam and came with a loud roar

Sam: Barely there, fading into the feeling of the warm cum inside him

Andy: Ramming Sam harder than before, completely loosing it

Sam: Head knocking against wall, over and over, faster and faster till everything became black.

#Trigger warning: #strong language #nudity #s*x #unicorntales #Adrian Blackwood #Sam #Samuel Cullman Thompson #Andycorn #Andy Shaw-Thompson #Raven McKinney #Brandubh McKinney

[twwpress]

Creator Spotlight #21: hanyolo

Welcome back to the TWW Creator Spotlight! For every spotlight, we’ll ask each featured author or artist the same ten questions (as well as questions you submitted on Twitter!). This week we are so pleased to be chatting with the wonderful hanyolo (on ao3)/@tonysstrk (on twitter).

1) What are your top 5 desert island fics by other authors? 

Number one is 100000% the girl dad josh little women fic that my wife wrote for me. It is beautiful and wonderful, I am truly obsessed and I cry every single time.

love is the only thing by mikaylawrites: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38785698

 Number two is the fic that B (joshatella) wrote for me last christmas. I gave so many ridiculously specific prompts and she absolutely nailed it. Just a lot of season four romcom goodness with the best kinda of canon divergence

the current interrupted (the moment that you spoke) by joshatella: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36161836

 Number three is an oldie but a goodie. Just some good old fashioned multichapter season seven santos campaign canon divergence that also does my favourite thing any fic can do (acknowledge Donna’s post-gaza ptsd)

the trouble with hero worship by lizacameron: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097865/chapters/35008490

 Number four has tragically been orphaned but it is one of my absolute favourite post-gaza ptsd explorations I read it at least once a week i am truly Obsessed

bitter water by orphan:( : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031573

 Number five is just a super fun lil oneshot that involves banter and flirting, a clueless josh, sam being sam, and cuteness all round

the politics of love by speranza: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686943 

 2) Do you have a favorite character to write? Favorite ship(s) to write? Are there characters or ships you'd like to write more of?

My favourite character to write is 100% donna moss, with josh a close second. And because i am predictable my favourite ship to write is always gonna be donna and josh. I would really like to write more cjtoby at some point but i am waiting for my muse to return from war before i explore this one further.

 3) Tell us about your writing process (setup/location? Night or day? Snacks/beverages? Computer/phone/notebook? Music or silence? Anything else you want to share is welcome!)

I simply write wherever and whenever the mood strikes. I used to exclusively write on my phone (notes app girlies rise) but now i definitely prefer writing on my laptop. I usually have a pepsi max on hand but that has nothing to do with my writing process and everything to do with my inability to get through the day without drinking soda. Sometimes i like to have music on, especially if i am in a busy/loud place, but usually silence works best for me. Also writing club, which i do with my friends and is super encouraging! Even though it’s usually just me and sam facetime and getting no writing done our bad

 4) What writing advice do you have for others who may be reading this?

I feel like a fraud answering this because literally what do i know? But i guess my advice would be:

If the words aren’t coming, don’t beat yourself up over it. Move onto something new, even just prompts or drabbles, and come back to it later.

Write with friends!! On facetime, in person, whatever. It’s super encouraging and a great space to share ideas. Sprints are also good!!

Reread your older work. I do this when I’m doubting my writing abilities and it serves as a great reminder that I actually can write and that people enjoy what I put into the fandom no matter how I feel about it.

Write for yourself. Who cares if there are people out there that don’t write what you like? You think I wrote Donna pegging Josh for other people? Absolutely not. I wrote that because it was something I wanted to read and because it was a story that meant a lot to me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You can’t please everyone, but you can do what works for yourself and tell the stories that you want told.

 5) From where do you usually draw your inspiration? (Other forms of media, music, tropes, etc?)

I’m all about the tropes and the canon divergence but i am also a big fan of watching things and asking myself: how can i make this about joshdonna? Have also been known to use a prompt generator a time or two

 6) What is the fic you've written that you're most proud of and why?

Probably sad josh fic (sorrow found me when i was young) because it started as a tiny idea and an even tinier drabble and ended up as 40k words of sad angsty character exploration. It was definitely challenging at times, and I upset myself writing it more than once, but I’m really pleased with how it turned out, particularly the noel chapter which was so different to anything i’d ever written before.

Also my good place au because I worked really hard to make a good place universe for the west wing characters and I really love how it’s turning out.

(Special mention to kinktober because we really managed to post 31 days of smut and I got a girlfriend out of it???? thanks josh and donna ur h0rniness has done so much for me xx)

 7) What's the fic trope/concept/AU you'd read 1000 of? What's the fic trope/concept/AU you'd write 1000 of?

DONNA DESERVED A POST-GAZA PTSD ARC AS WELL AS HER OWN NOEL MOMENT AND THIS IS THE HILL UPON WHICH I WILL D*E i could spend the rest of my life reading/writing fics about this and never get bored

 8) Is there anything you'd like to try writing-wise that you haven't yet?

This is a really good question and i am afraid i’m not sure i have an answer for it? Something i’ve vaguely outlined and kinda started is a character exploration of donna but it goes from donna at 5 all the way up to present day donna. And i have a vague idea of how i want it to turn out stylistically but i won’t know if it’s going to work until i actually make a decent amount of progress 

 9) What's your go-to Starbucks/coffee shop/other drink order?

So my go-to is some kinda of coffee caramelly frappuccino, but i am also partial to a seasonal drink. See: pumpkin spice latte, and briefly a soy peppermint mocha before I got like five terrible ones in a row. Basically anything with sugar, syrup, and whipped cream.

 10) Do you have any current projects you'd like to promote or anything upcoming you'd like to tell us about?

I am slowly but surely churning out the next chapter of my good place au. Also keep an eye out for the donna fic i mentioned above, as well as you guessed it a post-gaza ptsd arc fic that i have maybe 1000 words of so far

Submitted questions:

From @donnamossburner: Aaron taps you to decide what episode of TWW they pick for the next special, which episode do you pick and why?

Obviously I pick 17 people because of the hijinks, the drama, and the joshdonna of it all. Picture present day Josh and Donna flirting, present day Josh with those big brown eyes like a baby cow, present day Donna telling present day Josh “if you were in an accident I wouldn’t stop for red lights” I WOULD SIMPLY PASS AWAY. also I think the toby/bartlet scenes would be Exquisite.  

 From @donnamossburner: Which minor character from the west wing do you most enjoy and wish had more screen time?

My answer to this is bernard and no i will not be taking further questions.

 From @softxsurrera: who was your favorite tww character when you started the show and when you ended the show?

I started watching tww after seeing gifs and edits on twitter (all joshdonna, of course) so I went into it with the knowledge that Donna would immediately be my best gal, and seven seasons later she is still the best person I know and my all time favourite person.

From @softxsurrera: what is your all time favorite ep of tww that you could watch over and over again?

NOEL!!!!! But also is it cheating if i have more than one? I’m just gonna go ahead and name some of my comfort episodes: 17 people, stackhouse filibuster, 20 hours in america, arctic radar, dead irish writers, somebody’s going to emergency

 From @kennysroys: If you could get advice from any two characters? Who would it be and why? What would you want them to give you advice on?

Margaret because I 100% believe that she holds all the universe’s knowledge. And Toby because he would give it to me straight and tell me what I need to hear.

From @kennysroys: If you could have the entire cast perform a one night only, live stage performance of any episode and see it live, what episode would you want it you be and why?

Obviously it would be transition so i could see sexy stressed unhinged Josh in person and also so I could see Josh and Donna SMOOCHING in person  i am nothing if not a voyeur (of joshdonna)

From @sinistercherubs: You have 5 minutes to talk to a character from the Sorkin Cinematic Universe: who’s that character and what are you discussing?

Donnatella Moss and Donnatella Moss only. We would discuss everything and nothing and mostly just anything she wants to talk about and I will simply listen. Y’all know that video of kathryn hahn watching rachel weisz speak?? that’s what this would be.

 From @sinistercherubs: what’s your dream bottle episode plot for tww? anything you desire, nothing is stopping you, not even the lighting department.

Stealing this straight from community but jed loses his favourite pen and doesn’t let anyone leave the oval office until it’s found. Drama ensues, sides are chosen, secrets are spilled. Just a whole lot of hijinks, shenanigans, tomfoolery.

But also me and kate watched ben and leslie’s wedding today (that’s love, bitch) and i would love to see tww characters going through some kind of disaster preparedness drill which, of course, ends up being a disaster in itself (but in a super fun way)

From @sinistercherubs: piggybacking off of the bottle episode question, you’re dropping tww gang into the universe of the newsroom, what’s going on in this episode? (Doesn’t have to be apart of any canon plot points)

Literally just chaos and karaoke at hang chews. Mac and josh besties, donna and maggie besties, charlie (newsroom) and leo besties, charlie (tww) and sloan besties, jed and will besties until jed gets really into the karaoke and will is just ???? margaret and gary ultimate duet partners

From @mlea7675: How did you get into WW? What’s your favorite non-WW Sorkin project?

I spent the first year of the pandemic exclusively watching the newsroom so that was both my gateway to s0rkin and remains my favourite non-ww s0rkin project,, and also molly’s game because i forking love that movie !!!!!!

 From @sam_writes_fics: do you have any fun/favorite/niche headcanons for any of the characters and/or ships?

Oh boy where do i start? I will preface this by saying that 80% of my headcanons are to do with donnatella moss best girl ever. So i love the hc that donna has three older brothers, and she was wilder than all three of them combined but she got away with everything because she was just a teeny tiny baby and her brothers should have been a better influence (“mom, she’s twenty-two” “she’s just a BABY”). Donna loves romcoms, like she is just such a sweet sappy romantic, and all she wants is for that One grand gesture of love (josh gives her this in hawaii). If hiring herself on the campaign hadn’t worked it, she would have gone into teaching. Either an english teacher or a kindergarten teacher, she hadn’t decided yet. It took donna a long time to admit she needed help after gaza because she knew that when she let herself fall apart, there wouldn’t be anyone around to pick up the pieces and she didn’t want to have to go through this alone – not quite accepting that the breakdown was inevitable. GIRLDAD JOSH!!!!! Three moss-lyman daughters and they are the absolute best of friends and josh is the best dad ever and donna is softest mom ever. Both josh and donna are equally soft with their girls but neither of them will admit it and loves to tease the other about how easily they give in to the girls pleas and pouts.

From @flowersinapril_: favourite j/d fix it / favourite minor character to write / fic you’ve written that you would love to expand

My all time favourite j/d fix it is, of course, post-gaza realisations, but i also love canon divergence around the time of the season four romcom episodes.

My favourite minor character to write is margaret, particularly in my good place au. She was also the best part of shrek fic imo. I just love to give her a random lil oneliner that is so ridiculous but also so undeniably margaret.

Okay i would love to expand my joanie fic (the past she is haunted (the future is laced)) because i have so many thoughts on josh and joanie and how this impacts josh as a father and there is just so much angst and pain and also softness to explore!!!!!

From @flowersinapril_: what are your post series headcanons for cj

So i actually wrote part of this in my fic i don’t know anything (but i know i miss you), and i 100% believe that cj goes to la with danny because she’s convinced herself it’s what she wants, and after a few months realises she’s made a mistake. It’s all very amicable and cj flies back to dc and turns up at toby’s door. They stumble through the first month of coffee dates and dinner dates until one day something just clicks and they know This is it. They move in together, they discuss marriage but it’s not really something either of them needs because they Know how committed they both are to this relationship. They don’t have kids but cj is best stepmom ever to huck and molly, and also they somehow end up with like three dogs that never feels like a conscious decision but just kinda happens and it Works. CJ ends up finding part-time work at a non-profit and it was supposed to be temporary but she actually really loves it and it is exactly what she needs after eight years in the white house, and this is never in a million years where she thought her life would end up but it’s also the happiest she’s ever been.

From @JessBakesCakes: Is there a fic you’ve written that started out in one place when you were planning it and ended up in an entirely different one when it was published? If so, which one and how did it change?

My forever winter fic was never supposed to be as long as it was - it was only supposed to be the third chapter because the lyrics fit so perfectly!!! But as i was writing, i realised that the lyrics also perfectly fit post-noel and post-gaza, so i had to write chapters for those too!!

I think as well that there’s quite a lot i write that starts purely as vibes and then i kinda figure out where it’s going as i’m writing. The fic i wrote for jess in an exchange (say you’ll never let them tear us apart) was definitely one of these fics, where i had my prompts and a few snippets of dialogue i wanted to include, and then everything else just kind of worked around that and it ended up being super long because there was simply so much more to say than i first thought

Thanks again to Victoria!! And thanks to everyone who submitted questions! If you’d like to be featured in an upcoming Creator Spotlight, you can message us here, email us at [email protected], or DM us on Twitter. Speak now or forever hold your peace, as we are reaching the end of our list and the Creator Spotlight will be wrapping up (at least for the time being) soon!

#the west wing #west wing #tww #tww fandom #tww fic #tww fic rec #donna moss #josh lyman #joshdonna #josh x donna #cj cregg #toby ziegler #cjtoby #cj x toby #margaret hooper

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 40 Transcript: it ony a movie

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, my name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times...

C: And I, someone who knows the show from social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we're both Asian.

G: Both Asian!

For today's episode, we'll be discussing Season 2, Episode 18: "Hollywood Babylon," written by Ben Edlund-

C: Bedlund.

G: - directed by Phil Sgriccia.

C: Ugh, I hate Ben Edlund.

G: What? Why? According to Crystal, this is allegedly a bad episode, but...

C: Okay, he clearly despises Sam.

G: That is true. Sam literally has one-

C: Between this and "Nightshifter"? Like, Sam shows up and he's like, "I've been working the case. I broke into the morgue." And the whole time, all we've seen is Dean wearing headphones. You know? [laughs]

G: It's so funny because Sam literally has one good line this entire episode.

C: [laughing] But it's the best line of the episode.

G: That's true. He gave Sam the best line and then dipped. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, just before we do our usual thing, I want to say, this is episode 18 of season 2.

C: [laughing] I would love to have some plot related to season 2 here. That'd be great to see. [G laughs]

G: I mean, it makes sense, back in season one, when, you know, the entire plot of the show is like, "we're waiting for John to appear."

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: For John to appear in the last few episodes. But even then, they were building up to it in some way in the episodes prior.

C: Mm-hmm.

G: This one, it really feels like, when the plot hits, it's gonna be so out of the fucking blue.

C: Yeah.

G: So.

C: Where's Ava? Ava's been missing since-

G: Yeah!

C: For how long has Ava been missing?

G: I have no idea.

C: She's been missing since episode 10? They looked for her for a bit and then they were like, "Eh."

G: Literally, they do not care about Ava at this point anymore at all. They just accepted that she's fucking dead or something.

C: I guess so. Bring Ava back. Also, Max- where's Max Miller? Weren't they gonna like- no, not Max Miller. Andy. That guy. He has a name. Weren't they gonna keep an eye on him? Where is he?

G: It's weird. Because they front-loaded the plot, right?

C: Yeah!

G: And then they had their reveal that like, Dean was bound to kills Sam or something. And then after that, nothing. [laughs] Like, nothing has happened. All they've done is like, allude to the fact that Dean has to kill Sam. And then, nothing else. It's just- come on. Can we go back to the plot, please? Can we get back to the plot?

C: Right. There part where Sam's gonna become like, a warrior for Hell or whatever, like, are you all not looking into that? I thought Ellen was gonna look into that. Aren't you fighting a war? What happened to the war? [G laughs]

G: It's so funny! Because Meg comes back and she's like, "Nah, this is not plot-relevant. [C laughing] Like, don't even think about it."

C: Yeah. "If you think for a fucking second that we're going to do overarching plot anytime before episode goddamn 20 of this 22 episode season, you are a clown and a jokester. This is purely for personal reasons."

G: Exactly. Especially during this episode, it hit me so hard that, like, the purpose of a TV show, first and foremost, especially during this time of the making of a TV show, is to fill up time in television. [both laughing]

C: Yeah. Right. It's to create breaks from the ads.

G: Exactly. And it's so felt in this episode and probably this entire season as well. Like, this is all to fill up time. [laughing] Nobody here is telling a story. [both laughing] Well, I mean, some people are telling stories. I think there's there's a story that's happening and I quite like it, but it's very sparse, you know?

Anyway, so now that that's done, Crystal, what did you know about this episode before you watched it?

C: I knew that there was a case taking place on a film set and that they were undercover and that Dean was going to work as a PA and have his little headset on and generally seem to like his job there. And then I knew about the ending shot where they're like, walking off into the sunset but it's like, a set piece because it's been used in a lot of AMVs.

G: Yeah.

G: I mean, you know, about the montage, right?

C: Yes, I know about the montage.

G: You may or may not know this, but like, in season 15 episode 19 there's a montage, right?

C: Yes.

G: It's like, at the end of the plot part of the episode, they're like, "Okay, let's do a montage before the actual finale." And the montage ends- well, does it end with this?

C: Oh.

G: Or is it the trailer for the next episode ends with this? And like, I remember this-

C: Sunset shot?

G: It ends with the sunset shot, yeah.

C: Ooh.

G: And I remember a lot of hubbub about like, "Why are they doing this? Are they going meta for the last episode?" Like, you know, like, "Are they gonna- whatever?" Like, they're walking into a sunset, but it's a fake sunset and it's like, not actually a happy ending. And there's like, a lot of hubbub about that. And then the last episode aired, and everyone was like, "Fuck it! Who cares." [both laughing]

C: I mean, they're right, it wasn't actually a happy ending.

G: [laughing] I mean, they're right, but like, who fucking cares?

C: I mean, happy for me a little bit maybe, but. [both laugh]

G: Literally, I hate Supernatural's ending so much it's unreal. [C laughs] But now that that's the- [laughs] Let's get into the actual episode.

-

G: So we start in a house, and there's a woman, and she's walking around with a flashlight, calling for her friends. It's, you know. A typical-

C: Did you know immediately that it was going to end with a director saying "Cut"?

G: I've watched this episode recently.

C: That's true.

G: Yeah. I don't even know. I think it was one of those things where I was bored and I was like, "Oh, hey friends, what should I watch- episode of Supernatural should I watch?" or something. And of course the Deangirls were like, "Watch 'Hollywood Babylon!'"

C: Boo.

G: And I did. So I know pretty much everything that happens in this episode beat for beat.

C: Okay, yeah. I knew immediately that it was gonna end in "cut," so I was just like, waiting. Like, stop drawing it out, you guys, like, we get it, like, you were making them bad actors on purpose, like, it's too clear already what you're planning to do at the end of this.

G: She's such a bad actor too, like, it's so fucking funny. [both laugh]

C: [laughing] Brodie's a way worse actor though. Every time, he was like, "I'm leaving!" and like, stomping his feet standing in the exact same place.

G: Exactly. But anyway, yeah, like Crystal said, it ends with a scream shot, and the camera is like, pointed at her face, and it's a filmset. And her screen is very bad. She's having a very tough time acting. And then the director goes, "Cut!" And then, you know, they cut. Anyway, some relevant things that happened in the scene - someone hands her water, and that guy is going to be relevant later. And the director is like, telling her to level up the screaming or whatever. So she goes to the side to practice her screaming some more, but before that, she ends up in conversation with this guy who is part of the sound set. And he's saying that "Oh, this place is creepy. I think the stage is haunted for realsies. [C laughs] And I get creeped out sometimes that, you know, someone's watching me." So all that shit. And then she's like, "Ha, isn't that so funny." Anyway, she goes out to the side to practice, and then she hears a noise. She looks up. The guy that she was talking to is on the ceiling then. [both laughing] In quite a brutal-looking shot, right?

C: Yeah, he's like, hanging from the rafters and like, dripping blood down. Like, he looks fucked up.

G: Exactly. And she screams this time, and her scream is better than her previous screams. And we go through the director in the distance who just hears this and assumes she's practicing and goes, "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

C: Yeah, though as we learn later, he probably didn't think that she was practicing.

G: Yeah, they were like, intentionally fucking with her head.

C: Yeah. In order to get more publicity. And also, I think the audio for the scream in the trailer for the movie we see letter is from that.

G: So they recorded it is what you're saying?

C: Yeah, so yeah, it was like, a setup so that they could get the audio and also get more publicity for the film.

G: Jesus.

C: What a fucked up thing to do.

G: Love that.

-

C: So we're at Warner Bros Studios, where Dean is on this trolley, taking a tour. And we hear like, a tour guide over the intercom talking, and Dean turns to his side and says, "Hey, do you know this is where they filmed Creep Show?" And you think it's Sam [both laughing], like he's just sitting with Sam, talking to him, but then the camera pans over, and he's talking to some poor, random kid eating an ice cream cone who's like, "Um, stranger danger!" and like, just looks at Dean weird.

G: [laughing] Later on, he says goodbye to the kid when he hops out of the car [C laughing], and he's like, he fully believes that he has made a friend.

C: [laughing] - that this kid is his best friend and he just let him go.

G: He fully believes that he has made a friend in the middle of this fucking town. And the kid is literally just out here eating ice cream. It's so funny.

C: God. Yeah. So, right, and then we have the tour guide say like, "Here's like, the setting for the TV show Gilmore Girls." And the camera cuts to Sam sitting in the row in front of Dean, and, you know, it's a joke about how Jared Padalecki used to play Dean on Gilmore Girls.

G: Haha.

C: Yeah. [G laughs] Haha. Right, because the tour guide continues, "If we're lucky, we might even catch one of the show's stars!"

G: Yeah. I mean, I don't know anything about Gilmore Girls other than the straight girls in my life watch it [C laughs], and they seem to be having fun, so, good for them!

C: Yeah, my coworker who said that she watched Supernatural in middle school-

G: [laughs] Watches Gilmore Girls?

C: Watches Gilmore Girls and enjoys it.

G: Is this the reason why she watched Gilmore Girls?

C: I don't think it's because of Jared Padalecki. I think it was just that Gilmore Girls is popular. Plus, I'm pretty sure Dean as a character in Gilmore Girls - and also in Supernatural - is a total dick, so like - and framed as one in Gilmore Girls - so I feel like you wouldn't- like, a Jared Padalecki fan would not follow that over, necessarily. Eh. I don't know. I don't understand the minds of Jared Padalecki fans. [G laughs]

Yeah, so Sam tells Dean that they should get off the tour and do some work, and he, like, hops off. And Dean's like, "Ugh, no, I want to finish the tour!" but then eventually does get off. And, as you mentioned [laughs], he says "bye" to the ice cream kid. [both laughing] Yeah. Dean thinks that Matt Damon is nearby, but Sam says that that's a janitor. Do you think Dean's, like, a Matt Damon fan? What was Matt Damon even in by 2007?

G: I have no idea.

C: Let me look at his IMDB page.

G: I looked up Matt Damon because I- is he a popular guy? All I know him from is the Mars movie.

C: Oh, yeah, The Martian, yeah. I think he's pretty well known because he was in Good Will Hunting -

G: Ohh.

C: - which is considered a classic.

G: Oh, okay, got it.

C: But the main thing I know him from is like, that, like, Great Wall movie [G laughing] where some white guy in China or whatever, and everyone being like, "I don't want this to exist. Shut up."

G: [laughs] Yeah, I have not seen that movie, but I have seen a comedy bit of that movie. From- what's his name? That guy who starred in the movie where it's like, Love Actually slash Die Hard, and it's called Love Hard.

C: Oh, fucking Jimmy O. Yang?

G: [laughing] Yeah!

C: Fuck that guy. [G laughing] God. Love Hard sucked. Let's make our outtake about how bad Love Hard was.

G: [laughing] I love Love Hard. Like, I love to watch it and hate on it. [both laughing] Literally, it's so funny.

C: So bad.

G: If you're a Ko-Fi subscriber of BABPod, the same day that we're releasing this episode, we're also gonna release [laughing] an outtake where we just dunk on Love Hard, so watch out for that.

C: "My dad is so manly! He won't understand that I make candles!" [both laughing]

C: So he was also in Ocean's 13, which is well-known, right? Well-known?

G: I only know the girl version of that one.

C: Yeah, same.

Yeah, whatever I think he's famous for something. Yeah, I think Dean wanted to fuck Matt Damon.

G: Good for him.

C: Yeah. So they go- okay, so Sam keeps pushing for them to do work stuff, and Dean keeps going that "I wanted to come to LA for vacation because of the swimming pools and movie stars," and Sam says, "This seem like swimming pool weather to you, Dean? I mean, it's practically Canadian."

G: Wait, hold on.

C: And of course, Supernatural films in Canada- what?

G: No, I get the joke is that they film in Canada so it's like, "haha," but like, isn't LA notoriously like, not rainy? Is-

C: Yeah, yeah, it's not rainy. It's very mild weather.

G: Oh, yeah. Hollywood is not a rainy place. [laughs] Yeah, I know that from fucking Good Mythical Morning of all places. [laughs]

C: Anyway, right, so I mean, this is like, the second meta joke so far, right?

G: Yeah. There's a lot of them.

C: Which makes sense given the content of this episode, yeah. Ben Edlund wanted to have some fun.

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: Yeah, so Ben now attempts the only moment of emotional continuity in this episode. [both laugh]

G: I can't believe the last episode was "Heart." [C laughs] I literally cannot believe.

C: Ended on a single man tear and a gun shot, and now they're like, "Hi! Gilmore Girls tour time." God.

G: It's so funny because they do not show Sam at all this episode. Like, again, like he's really-

C: Right, he's not processing anything. He's just like, offscreen.

G: Literally. So he-

C: Yeah, his mourning of Maddy's death was not important to Dean's journey of eating Philly cheesesteak sliders.

So, yeah, Dean says, like, “I just figured that like, after everything that happened with Madison, you could use a little vacation." And Sam says, "Well, maybe I want to work because it keeps my mind off things." Yeah. And it also keeps him offscreen this entire episode.

G: Yeah! He's like, "I'm going to go to the morgue, I'm gonna do all this research," and it's so funny because, like, he has this thing where it's like, Dean is exploring the place, and, like, the whole point is that he doesn't find anything. And then he talks to Sam and Sam is like, “Oh, I found something, though." And it's like, why didn't you show us Sam, then?

C: Yeah!

G: He found something!

C: Yeah! Like, I know that morgue scenes are boring, but you have forced us through at least one morgue scene per episode since the beginning of this show, and now you think you're too good for them? [laughs] Like, Ben Edlund. Like, get over your Dean crush and just show us the case.

Yeah, so they talk about the case, the crew guy who died on set. Dean says, "It could be like the movie Poltergeist," which Sam doesn't know. And Dean says about that, "You know nothing of your cultural heritage." [both laugh] Alright.

G: So true.

C: So yeah, so apparently the set of Poltergeist was rumored to be cursed because they used real human bones as props. And they reveal that the name of the guy who died is Frank Jaffey, but they weren't able to find a death certificate or coroner's report. Like, he doesn't seem to be on the record. But the actress who found him said she saw a vanishing figure. Sam reveals that the actress's name is Tara Benchley, and Dean lights up because apparently she's a well known scream queen to him from Fear Dot Com and Ghost Ship. Yeah, he's a fan of her work. He says, "It's very good." It's not, though.

G: You know, the thing about Tara Benchley- I mean, we're going a bit out of order here, but they do have sex, right?

C: Yes.

G: I like that. Like, this is the one like, time at this point in the show where Dean interacts with a woman that he likes that I actually like, really enjoyed.

C: Yeah.

G: Because he approaches her and he's very shy, he's very timid. And then-

C: Mm-hm. Submissive. Breedable, even.

G: God- god! [both laughing] You just caught me at like, my natural habitat, like, reacting to the word "submissive and breedable." That's how I react to it every single time. But no, I was saying, like, he's shy, all that. And then at the end of the day, she didn't know that he saved her.

C: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

G: So there's no debt in that way. Like, she really did just sleep with him because- not because he's- I mean, he's kind of lying about who he is, but he is a PA at that point, right?

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: Like, he's not pretending to be a scout of reality TV shows or whatever. Like, he was a PA at that point, so he wasn't pretending to be anyone. And then they sleep together, and it's purely because she thought he was cute!

C: Yeah.

G: And I like that! Turns out, they can write women to be, you know, have sex with Dean Winchester without it being weird.

C: Yeah, agreed. Right, and also like, she's not his boss or anything either, so there's no bad power dynamic in the other direction. Like, she's more famous than him, but like, both of them are employees of the movie set, so like, yeah. It's cute and normal and fine.

G: Yeah! And when Dean shows up- I mean, we're going to it discuss it later, but I just want to say when Dean comes out of the trailer and his hair is all ruffled up, I legitimately went "Awwwwh!" His hair is all ruffled up. And, yeah. [laughing] That's my observation of Dean.

C: So true.

-

G: So they go into the movie set, and as they're hanging out, they see that there's this guy - his name is Brad - and he's- he's a director? Or he's the producer.

C: He's a studio executive. I don't know what that translates to like, in actual terms.

G: Yeah, people- I think he is a producer. 'Cause like, the guy calls him like, "a suit," so like, he's like, the type of guy who wears a suit in this kind of environment type of guy.

So he's talking to some of the guys who are doing the lighting [laughing]. And he's saying like, "Make it brighter!" And then the guys are like, "It's a horror show. It's a horror movie." And he's like, "Yeah, but it looks too drab. It looks too depressing. Why don't you just make it brighter? More colors." Which I suppose like, they're saying this because it's a reference to the fact that Supernatural at this point is very dark.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Well, the studio execs got what they wanted.

G: [laughs] They literally will get what they have asked for.

And yeah. At some point, Brad looks over to where Sam and Dean are, and he calls over "the guy with the green shirt," meaning Dean. And Dean's like, "What, me?" And then he asks for a smoothie from Kraft, and Dean's like, "You want a what from who?" And Sam comes in and is like, "No, he's just new here. We'll get you a smoothie. Smoothie coming right up!" He puts on that voice [laughing], and it's so funny. What the fuck do you mean "smoothie coming right up"?

C: Why did this guy decide that Dean was a PA and Sam was just hanging out?

G: I mean, I assume he assumed both of them are PAs, but it's not like you're going to call two PAs to grab you a smoothie, right?

C: Mm, yeah, I suppose so.

G: Yeah.

C: Does Dean not know what a smoothie is? [G laughs]

G: You think he doesn't know what a smoothie is? I'm sure he does. Because, like - at this point, Sam is still not a health nut, so I'm assuming he only knows like, milkshake-type smoothies, right? He's not aware of the fruit smoothie agenda yet.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Oh, god, my favorite meme is the "see you in hell, you stupid fruit" [G laughs], like, blender thing. And like, that showed up on November 5. It was so good. Anyway. Yeah, I guess Dean's not homophobic enough to make smoothies yet.

G: Yeah. So later on, we cut to Dean holding a tray of smoothies, and he's giving it out to like, you know, people passing by, etc. So Dean realizes that like, "Oh, I actually need to investigate at some point, right?" So he sets down the smoothie tray, and he gets out the EMF meter and starts creeping up the- what did you call this? The raf-? No, it's not.

C: I think the rafters are like, the top part, but the general thing is the scaffolding.

G: The scaffolding. Exactly. So he goes up the scaffolding, and suddenly, like, the lights dim and the crew starts recording. Like, they start filming. And what they're filming is Tara, who is, you know, the girl, the main character, reading off a book in Latin or in Enochian or, you know, just some language. They get into it a little bit later. But she's reading something off a book. And they're just goofing around on set and stuff. Meanwhile, Dean is up there inspecting the whole place, but there's no EMF anywhere, so he goes back down.

C: Yeah. Sam gets this update and he asks Dean, "How's the whole thing going?" And Dean says that being a PA here sucks but the snacks on set are great. [G laughs] He like, enthuses about like, a Philly cheesesteak slider, and he tries to give Sam one, but Sam gives him some judgmental look and is like, "Maybe later." I don't- like, Sam does a lot of judgment of Dean's eating in this episode.

G: I don't know why Ben Edlund- The thing is, this episode, you can pinpoint a lot of the things that they do with Sam and Dean in terms of food back to this episode. Like, there's a little bit of it in "Tall Tales"; there's a little bit of it in the episode where they dress up as priests, but like, it's really highlighted here. [laughing] It's basically the main point of the episode. [C laughs] It's really highlighted here. And it frustrates me that they made it this way, and it has emanated throughout the rest of the show.

C: Right. Like, it's weird. Like, I don't know-

G: Why is he so judgmental?

C: - why Sam is being so judgmental about Dean eating a sandwich-

G: Yeah!

C: - you know? Like, what is wrong with the situation? Like, it's food on set, and you eat it.

G: Yeah, and it's free, and he's allowed to get it. And I mean, it's more appropriate than the other past few times. Like, the other time it was like, "Oh, this guy's telling us that someone died here, and you're stuffing your face with nuts," [C laughs], and then the other time it's like, "We're literally at a funeral and you're eating off the plate like it's what you're here to do."

C: Right. But it's not-

G: But now the situation is like, the food is here to be eaten, and they're just on set, and like, just let him fucking eat!

C: Right, and it's like, they were both food insecure growing up, and I understand that, like, like, the general consensus is that Dean bore the brunt of that more than Sam did 'cause like, Dean would go hungry to give Sam food, but like, I feel like if you're growing up with someone, you notice that, and also, it's not like Sam was never food insecure and that there was- that Dean always got enough food for Sam even if he didn't eat himself, right? So like, this doesn't make sense.

G: Yeah. But alas. This is what we are given. And it is what will be shown throughout the rest of the fucking show.

C: Right.

G: Tough luck.

C: Right, like, they end up giving Sam his own food thing, which is... interesting how they go about it [G laughs], but oh well.

G: Yep. It sure is, but yeah.

C: So yeah, so Dean asks about Sam's research and yeah, they can't find anything on Frank Jaffey. And Walter shows up and takes a sandwich, and Dean says after Walter [laughing], "They're wonderful!" about the sandwich. So true.

And so, apparently, this filming area had four deaths in the past 80 years. Two suicides, two fatal accidents. So they're thinking vengeful spirit.

Tara walks by and Dean is like, "Okay, time to go over and talk and get her autograph or something."

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, so he likes grabs some like, sheet of paper from a worker like, walking by and then he goes up to Tara, and he's like, "Oh, like, they missed you! Were you supposed to get one of these sheets of paper?" And-

G: He looks adorable. [laughs] Crystal is literally gonna kill me for this, but he looks- he looks adorbs.

C: He looks enthusiastic in a way that is- that could be read as endearing if you cared about him. [G laughing] [laughs] That is what I will say.

G: Literally Dean is cute when you care about him and not when you're not caring about him. So true.

C: Yeah.

G: He gives her the paper and he says, like, "I don't really know what I'm doing"- [laughing] He's so cute! - And then Tara says, like, "Oh, is it your first day?" And Dean's like, "Yeah, and I know it's gauche to say this, but I am a big fan of yours. Like, I loved you in Boogieman." And then Tara says, like, "Oh, god that was a terrible fucking script," that just confirms that Dean really loves to watch terrible movies.

C: Yeah.

G: I honestly support that. Because I'm currently at the stage in life where I only watch good movies, so what happens is, every time I watch a movie, it takes me like, three months to process it.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: So I don't watch any movie after that in the span of three months. I just dwell on the last one is all.

C: Yeah.

G: So yeah, I mean, if you're gonna watch movies more frequently, I'm assuming you're going to come across like, shit movies every now and then. And that's what Dean is doing.

Dean sees this as an entryway to talk about the case. So he asks like, "Oh, you saw the guy who died, right?" And she was like, "Yeah." And Dean exhibits some tact by saying, like, "Oh, I know you probably don't want to talk about it." [laughs] He's so cute. But she says, like, "I'm fine talking about it. It's just that no one else wants to talk about it because everyone thinks I'm going to have a nervous breakdown if they mention it around me. But it was a horrible thing because, like, blood was dripping out of his eyes and his mouth." And she says, like, she's positive that she saw something, a figure, and she doesn't know what it was, but she's sure that she saw it.

Eventually, this guy Walter approaches her and give her a drink, and she's like, "Oh, thank you, Walter," and this is like, the second time this happened so in your brain you're like, "Oh, this Walter guy's gonna be important, isn't he? He's gonna be the guy, isn't he?" So, fun stuff.

C: What I thought this whole time was, "This is a set full of white men, and I can't tell any of them apart or know what any of their jobs are."

G: They mention-

C: And when they revealed that Walter was the writer at the end and they're like, "Oh my god, Walter the PA?" I was like, "Who the fuck is that?"

G: It's so funny that he is like, literally a writer that like, got the rights to be on set, and he's acting as a PA for this woman. Like, come on, dude.

C: Yeah. He's an odd guy, as we will find out.

G: [laughing] God, what they did with Walter is so funny! Even thinking back to it, it's like absolutely fucking hilarious! And like- [laughs] whatever, we'll get into later. This entire episode is so funny.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah, so eventually, Tara ends up showing Dean a picture that she took with the guy before the guy died. And Dean looks at it, and Dean says, "Son of a bitch."

C: Ooh.

G: Dun-dun-dun-dun.

-

C: So we show up at some house, which- Sam and Dean are knocking on the door. And some guy opens it, and Dean says, "Gerard St. James?" And this is the guy who we previously knew as Frank, and he's alive. So apparently, Dean recognizes him because he was Desert Soldier #4 in Metalstorm: The destruction of Jared-Syn. [laughs] So.

G: What a nerd.

C: What a nerd. Yeah. Dean's like, "Oh my god, I'm a huge fan. Like, you got hit by a tractor in Critters 3?" So yeah, like, this is like, a guy who plays like, practically extras roles, but Dan is a nerd, so he recognizes him.

So they come in the house, and Gerard explains that the producers brought him in for a day to play this Frank Jaffey guy to fake his death so that there'd be more publicity stirred up because people would be thinking the film set was haunted. He says, "They say I'm the new lonelygirl." What is lonelygirl?

G: You don't know who the lonelygirl is??

C: No.

G: Okay. Lonelygirl15 was an ARG that was like- So, like, at the beginning of YouTube, back in like, I guess 2005, so, like, someone was like, "You know what we could do? We could make this like, vlog series where this girl, called lonelygirl15, vlogs." I actually don't know much of the details, but I know- this is just a general gist. If you want to get into it, I don't know, fucking Google it or something. But they were like, "Let's make this vlog series where it looks like someone who is an actual person doing a vlog, but it's actually an actor who's pretending to be lonelygirl15." And it's like, there's like, a whole crew managing the vlogs and stuff. And it's like, it's very big in the ARG community because it's like, one of the first ones that really blasted through the Internet. Because it's like, a vlog, like, it's in video format.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. So yeah, he's the new lonelygirl. Because- do you even know what an ARG is? Or-

C: Uh, kind of. Not really. I mean it's like, it's sort of like, a game thing, right, where you like, try to find clues and shit, and like, they're hidden in various part of the Internet?

G: Yeah. Exactly, yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. There was a time in my life, where I was like, not into ARGs as in into them like that, but like, I was into ARG YouTubers. Like, people who YouTube about ARGs, you know?

C: Oh, interesting.

G: And I was like, so that's how I learned about lonelygirl15. But I was actually shocked when they mentioned it in this episode because I didn't think of it as like, a big thing. As like, something that has permeated culture enough to be present in a Supernatural episode.

C: Yeah.

G: But apparently, it is.

C: Yeah, I mean Dean says, "Who?" So I feel like you're not supposed to understand the reference. I think Bedlund just threw it in 'cause he's aware of it.

G: Yeah. Do you think Sam knows who lonelygirl15 is?

C: Mm. Probably not.

G: Probably not.

C: What do you think Sam would watch on the internet?

G: [laughs] This is such an- I think Sam would watch like, conspiracy theories, but like, he would be on the comments section disproving every single thing the person is saying. [C laughing] Like, it'll be like, "Flat Earth Theory! Why the Earth is Flat." And then, like, in the comments section [C laughing], he just outlines like, a 1500 word, fully-referenced paper about why the earth is, in fact, not flat.

C: Yeah, no, that sounds exactly right. Do you think Sam gets in fights on Reddit? [G laughs]

G: He would never-

C: He's totally a Reddit guy.

G: Like, I know we have fics where Dean is like, on Reddit talking about Cas or something, which is, that's a fun concept. But you know what we need? We need, like, a Reddit fights that Sam has, and it's not even relevant to anything. There's no overarching plot. He just has fights with people. [both laugh]

C: It's his stress relief.

G: [laughing] This is his stress relief, exactly.

C: Good for him.

Yeah, so apparently, the ghost was like, projected on a screen. And Dean says that "What you did was kind of cruel," and Gerard says, "Hey, I just play the part. I don't write the script." And he tries to push like, one of his new gigs at them.

G: I thought that was going to be more relevant, but it's not at all.

C: Yeah.

G: Maybe they're just showing that guys who do this are like this or something.

C: Yeah, I think so. Apparently, you get a free pepper steak with the coupon, though. Like, I figured Dean would take him up on-

G: That's a good deal.

C: Yeah, that's good.

G: Literally get that fucking pepper steak.

C: Yeah. So, right, so they decide to start heading out. Who's Richard Moll? Is that a real guy? But basically, Dean just asks Gerard what it was like to work with some guy named Richard Moll.

G: Yeah. I am positive that there is a lot of references here that we can see as references and then we just don't understand. C: Yeah

G: And I'm positive that there's even more references here that we just don't catch like, at fucking all.

C: Uh-huh.

G: So I'm sure-

C: It doesn't matter.

G: [laughs] It doesn't matter to us because we don't care about it, but I'm sure someone is like, screaming at their phone right now, like, "It means blah-blah-blah! Why do you not know this?" And to that person, I say, "Don't email us." [laughing] We don't care. I'm sorry.

C: [laughing] Richard Moll voiced Two-Face in Batman: The Animated Series. [both laughing] [C screams]

G: Wasn't Jensen in Batman now or something?

C: Yeah, but most importantly, Misha Collins was going to play Two-Face in Gotham Knights until it got canceled, baby!

G: Oh my god. [laughs] It was canceled? Are you-

C: [laughs] There's rumors that it's been canceled.

G: Noo. But the Mishagirls are so excited!

C: Do not let that man- do not let that man get any jobs. Do not allow that man on the screen anymore.

G: You're so mean!

C: [laughs] So true. Cancel Gotham Knights.

G: I mean, I'm sure his book is selling well, so that's gonna be, like-

C: Oh my god, don't fucking even.

G: That's gonna be like, a year of-

C: We should do a Ko-Fi bonus of dramatic readings of his shitass poems.

G: No! He has some good poems!

C: Does he?

G: I hate that I'm becoming like, the Misha Collins like, fucking warrior in this podcast. But he has some poems that I like. Yeah. That's my hot take.

C: Yeah. Well, [laughing] I'm glad somebody somewhere is enjoying something. [G laughing]

G: Exactly.

C: Yep. So, right, so Gerard says that this guy was a gentleman, and then Dean's like, "OMG, yay, pepper steak," and they head out.

-

G: They head out and back in the film set.

C: Yeah. Every cut like, starts with like, a new scene from the movie, basically.

G: Yeah. So like, the scene starts, and there is a guy like, handling the audio. As they're doing the scene inside the house, the audio starts changing into something like, freaky. And then back to the guys, who are like, filming the stuff, the execs and the director and stuff, Brad, the guy who asked for the smoothie earlier, is now saying that he doesn't get the logic of the movie [laughs], because how can the demons hear them if they're in Hell? Do the demons have fucking super hearing? And then they were like, "Ugh, whatever. Maybe we should write a fucking explainer then." And so they do write an explainer [both laughing], and it's so funny. Because, remember in Supernatural when they were like, "Oh, yes, salt is like, purifying people." And Sam was saying this to Dean, and Dean literally has been doing this his entire fucking life. Like, come on, dude! Literally just put an explainer right in there.

So Brad, the guy, wanders off, right, and he's walking around. He's trying to call someone when somebody appears like, behind him. And it's this lady who looks very like- who looks very much like she just jumped right out of a black and white movie. So he's like, "Oh, well, that's weird. I quite like the makeup," and etc etc, "But your" - because she has like, scars on her neck. Like, wounds on her neck, or like, bruises and stuff. And he's saying to her that, like, "I like your makeup, but the bruises on your neck could be a little bit more red. I'll tell the makeup artist about that." So he fully believes that this ghost is just some rando on set like, in a makeup that is the most amazing you've ever seen on a person. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: And then he turns around, and she taps him, and then she disrobes.

C: Which was not necessary. Like, it was not needed.

G: She could have just given him like, bedroom eyes or something.

C: Yeah. Also, like, okay, he went up to the rafters after her. Like, he was like, "This woman wants to sleep with me on the ceiling of the set while we're filming"?

G: Yeah.

C: Like, I feel like she could've just done a "There's something wrong up here, like, I need to show you for the sake of the movie" or whatever, right? Like, it's not realistic to think that someone's telling you to have sex in the rafters while you're fucking filming the movie.

G: Also, like, I'm assuming the rest of her body is also gray.

C: Right. Right. They're like, "The makeup artist got your nipples too?" Like, alright, girl. [G laughs]

G: Exactly. But eventually, he goes up after her, and we cut back to the scene that they're filming, and now they're doing the explainer, like we said earlier. They're saying like, "Oh, how can they hear us from Hell?" And then some guy goes, "They must have super-hearing or something!" C: "They must have super-hearing!" [both laugh]

G: Literally, in Supernatural, the demons have super-hearing.

C: So true.

G: Anyway, just as they're doing that, a body crashes through the fucking ceiling. It's Brad. And he's dead.

G: Yep. RIP.

C: Hanging by a rope around his neck. F.

-

C: They're filming the movie again, and the jokes happening here are that they say that they need salt to fend off the spirits, and the actors are like, "I don't get it. Why would the spirits be afraid of salt?" Also, meanwhile, there's like, a little talk about Brad, who just died. And it's like, "It feels weird to be filming, even though, like, he killed himself on set." And Jay, one of the- the director? - is like, "He was just a studio guy. Whatever. We had a moment of silence for him at breakfast." [G laughs] I wonder how much of this is like, Ben Edlund's opinions about like, the workings of the Supernatural set coming through.

Right, so Tara’s like, asking about the salt thing. "Why would a ghost be afraid of salt?" Obviously, this is very funny to Dean. And then they're like, "What else would a ghost be afraid of? Maybe shotguns?" [both laugh] So true.

G: Shotguns with salt in them?

C: Perhaps?

And Walter says, watching this, "These people are idiots," and walks off. So yeah, I guess, this is so kind of a sign of what's to come. [G laughs] Dean says, "Walter's a little testy for a PA."

So Sam comes over to ask how it's going, and Dean only answers things about the movie, like, how Tara's really stepped up her performance. And Sam goes like, "Dean, like, I'm asking about the case. We don't really work here. And I thought you hated being a PA." And Dean says, “I don't know. It's not so bad. I kind of feel like part of the team, you know?" Aww!

G: That's so sweet.

C: Yeah.

G: That is so sweet. Although-

C: 'Cause he has worked like, alone or just with like, his dad or his brother, for his whole life. Like, he's not really had like, group settings before.

G: Yeah. This is like, such a big group too. Like, this is not just like, we're in a- there's like, five group team that you're working with. This is like, you know, like, a well-oiled machine, and then you put him in there, and it's like, "Oh, I like, being a part of the machine" like, type of guy.

C: Yeah.

G: It's pretty sweet. It's something to think about. I understand why the Deangirls like this episode as a Dean thesis statement.

C: Yeah, yeah. Like, did they really have to go back to hunting after this?

G: Yeah, just let him be there.

C: Just let him be there. We can get him some fake papers so he can like, get the paychecks actually, and then just let him be a PA! [G laughs]

So yeah. And also, he offers Sam a taquito, and he says, "They're wonderful," which is what he also said about the sliders, and that's kind of cute. But Sam does his judgmental thing again, which I don't get, but whatever, we already talked about how we don't get it. So Sam says that he conned his way into the morgue, which we didn't see at all [both laugh], because Ben Edlund hates Sam’s guts And yeah, Brad is like, definitely dead in there, so this isn't a Frank Jaffey situation.

G: All throughout this, they're doing this joke where Dean is like, not hearing Sam.

C: Yeah.

G: Because he keeps on talking to his headset, which I thought was pretty funny. Gets old a little bit later, but it's funny right now.

C: It is funny. Yeah.

So Dean says that he wants to show something to Sam and they go over to the sound guy, and he plays Sam the distortion that happened earlier. So it's EVP. Ghosts. Whoo.

G: Whoo.

C: So they decide to investigate where Brad died. Or no, the scene of the movie during which Brad died.

G: Yeah.

-

G: So they go to a fucking trailer. Whose trailer is this?

C: Yeah!

G: Later, they hang out here, and allegedly hang out there for six hours. Did you hear that? Six hours?

C: I did not- what?

G: 'Cause Sam is- Dean comes in and he's like, "Oh, have you seen anything else that's relevant in these tapes or something?" And Sam says, "Not for the past six hours."

C: OMG, no.

G: Why are they there? [laughing] It's been six hours! Whose trailer is this?

C: Maybe it's the trailer of one of the dead guys.

G: Exactly, perhaps so. Maybe it's Brad's trailer. Because it's fancy, too. It's nice.

C: Yeah.

G: They go inside the trailer, and they rewatch the scene of Brad falling through the ceiling. And, eventually, what they find is that there is a figure in the back from where Brad was, and Sam apparently recognizes this fucking blob of a figure [C laughs] and is like, "I know this person." And then they go see, and apparently, it's this woman named Elise Drummond who was like, a star back in the 30s. And she ended up killing herself inside this set because she became destitute after like, her executive boyfriend left her. So.

C: And fired her.

G: Yeah, fired her from her work. And that's their prime suspect now for who is doing the murders. So they go to burn her bones.

C: Yeah. They sure do.

-

C: So the next scene, it sort of cuts back and forth. So Sam and Dean are in some Hollywood cemetery trying to find Elise Drummond's grave. They see some fun-looking headstone. Dean's really enthused. And they reach it and start digging. Meanwhile, Jay, who's a producer, is alone on the set. And he's just on the phone being fake or whatever, but the lights eventually go out. So they seem to burn Elise, but this does not help Jay because there's a figure that passes by him even after the salting and burning. And he calls out to this figure and says, like, "Can you help me out and show me where the exit is?" And this guy turns around, and his face is fucked up. Like, part of his skull's missing and, like, there's stuff bulging out of it. So Jay screams, and then the fans on set turn on, and somehow have the strength to drag Jay into their wake. And then we got this fun shot where, when he hits the fan ,it cuts away to some white cloth-

G: [laughs] To some random-ass white cloth.

C: Yeah. We see red spraying all over it. Hell, yeah.

G: A detail you missed that I enjoyed is the fact that, because they're in Hollywood, the gravestones are of important people, some of them, right?

C: Oh, yeah.

G: So they have a map that they bought for $5, and like, that's why it was so easy for them to find the gravestone. Because they literally had a map. Which I thought was fun.

C: Yeah.

G: Do you think that's true? Have you ever been to LA?

C: I've been to LA but I haven't been to the Hollywood cemetery.

G: [laughs] Yeah, I presume so, but I imagine that to be true. I imagine there to be-

C: Yeah, that's probably accurate.

G: Yeah, anyway, eventually, we start a new scene, which means new scene from the movie. And this time, it's a fucking trailer.

C: It's so bad.

G: And I mean, it's so bad. It's such a good bad trailer. And one of the things that they were like, "From the makers of... Monster Truck." [both laughing]

C: Wait! Oh, god, was that- Did they use the same truck as the racist truck or-

G: Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. [C laughing] So that's extremely funny.

C: Oh, also we find out that this isn't- the shirts they've all been wearing are for the movie Hell Hazers. We find out that this is actually a sequel to Hell Hazers. It's [both] Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning.

G: So true.

C: Yeah, it's very funny that like, they're like, "Oh my god, we summoned the ghosts... again? [laughing] And they're going to kill us... [both] again? I didn't know that reading this Latin incantation would summon the ghost again!" So true.

G: Yeah. Anyway, Sam and Dean figure out that like, Elise is now dead, so it must not be her, so these ghosts may be playing tag team, because what happened, the thing with the fan that happened, also happened to another guy before. Which is such a terrifying way to die.

C: Yeah, like, sorry, dude.

G: What a terrifying way to die. Yeah. So, eventually, so what happens is the director calls in everyone and is like, "Hey, everyone, come here. [laughs] I know that two people died on set, but we must do what they would have wanted in their last moments in life [C laughs]. And that is to get Hell Raisers: The Reckoning on screen all across America!" [both laughing] So true.

C: And Sam looks like, weirded out by this, and so does Dean for a second, and then Dean just starts clapping with everyone.

G: Yeah, everyone starts clapping, and Dean is like, "Woo, yeah yeah yeah!" And Sam is like, “What the fuck?" which is the appropriate response, by the way.

C: Yeah, no, but Dean's part of the team now.

G: He is part of the team.

C: He wants to get Hell Blazers 2: The Reckoning on screen all across America too.

G: Yeah. But the director is like, "Yeah, we need to get Hell Raisers all across America, but not today. Today, you guys are coming home because we need to take a break for a couple of days for the investigation. Bye-bye!" And so they go away.

C: Yep. So we cut to the trailer that they've commandeered, and Sam's watching over and over the scene where Tara's reading the Latin incantation that raises the demons or ghosts or whatever. And yeah, the electrician who died, Dean finds out that he was cremated so they can't really do anything. And Sam says that he's been here for the last six hours watching this, trying to figure out what's up. And then he says the best line ever in this episode. [both laugh] "You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. 'Cause I mean, it kind of does." [laughs]

G: So true.

C: So true.

I love when Sam's bitchy. Because I feel like, I feel like with Dean, they always know how to make him fun by like, making him like, dorky or overenthusiastic or something. And then they make Sam so unfun by being judgmental about it for no good reason.

G: Yeah, so the only way they could make him fun is if he's snarky.

C: Yeah.

G: So when they do it right, they do it well.

C: Yes.

G: But they just don't do it often enough. But this scene was so funny. And it is the best line of the entire episode. Like, "Maybe they're trying to shut down the movie because it sucks. Because it kinda does." [both laugh]

C: God, he's so funny.

So Sam suddenly realizes that like, this Latin incantation is like, an actual like, summoning ritual for the dead. Are they not afraid that playing it through the screen is going to summon the ghosts again?

G: I think it's just a matter of speaking it into existence.

C: Yeah, I suppose so. So playing a recording wouldn't work? Damn.

G: Yeah, they have to recite it.

C: So they show up in the office to talk to Marty, who is the writer of the script. And they came over and were like, "We wanted to talk to you because, like, we read the script," and like, Sam says, like, with the most effort he looks like he's ever put into anything like, "Yeah, it's awesome! Mm-hm! Totally." [G laughs] Yeah.

G: So true. [laughs] I feel called out by the portrayal of this guy. [laughing]

C: [laughing] Because of how you act about your Ace Attorney fic?

G: [laughing] Don't reveal my leanings on fanfiction at the present. But literally how I act when I talk about anything I've written, fanfiction or otherwise. Like, "Oh, it's good, right? It's so good, right? I literally wrote it like this because it's that way because it's good, and that's why it's good, right?" [C laughing]

C: Yeah, so right, Marty's like, "Yeah, yeah, it's rocking, right?" And Sam says, "Yeah, I liked all the attention to detail." And Marty's like, "Dude, right on! That's my thing! [G laughing] I mean, you know, color me guilty, but that is me! I'm a total detail buff!" [laughs] So true.

Yeah, so Sam says that "Yeah, like, you worked in real Enochian summoning rituals in there,." Which- I miss Cas. Why couldn't this ritual summon Cas?

G: So true. I mean, we're about to end season 2.

C: And then there's a whole other one!

G: But that's just 16 episodes. It will just pass. 16 weeks, that's so fast. It'll pass by.

C: That's true. Okay, that's true. Thank you.

Yeah, so Marty's like, "Oh, no that Latin shit? Like, that wasn't me, that was the original writer, Walter Dixon." Apparently, he's not a PA, he just has a clause in his contract that allows them to come on set, so he decided that during that time, he wanted to get actors water. [G laughs] Yeah, and so he wrote the invocations, and Marty says that his screenplay was bad because there was no pace or love interest, it's all exposition, etc.

G: So true. Supernatural-core. Literally, where are love in- where's Cas? Where's the love interest, you guys?

C: Yeah, where's the love interest? Give us Cas.

G: We need the love interest.

-

G: So we cut to Sam and Dean reading the script that Walter made, and it's literally called "Lord of the Dead." [both laugh] And Dean comments that it's actually good, and they should have kept it, blah blah blah. But Sam says, like, "It reads like a how-to manual on how to conjure actual spirits and how to like, make it so that they follow your bidding."

C: Do we ever learn where Walter learned this shit?

G: No, 'cause- I mean, I'm assuming-

C: He's just some guy?

G: Literally just some guy. And then he knows all this shit too as well.

C: Yeah, no, he's a human- I don't know. Maybe he learned it from like, a witch or something. But I think it's a weird that at no point do they try to find out where he was learning this stuff because maybe that person was teaching like, this to other humans, right?

G: Other people, yeah. Yeah. And eventually, they conclude that the reason why he's letting out the spirit is because he's mad about the movie. [both laughing] Literally the biggest tantrum fit I've ever seen in my fucking life. "You didn't put my movie on, and now, you're all gonna die!" [C laughs]

C: God. And I love how they're like, "Oh, yeah, that's a reasonable motive. Okay, we understand the situation now." Like [laughs], I would never have drawn that conclusion because it's so stupid. I would have been like, "Oh, he's summoning people to kill people, but like, he must have like, serious- like, someone here must have like, killed his parents," you know? [laughs] Like-

G: Yeah.

C: [laughing] It's just so stupid.

G: But yeah, eventually, a little bit later, we see the writer that we saw earlier, Marty, he's walking in the set, and then he comes across Walter. Well, actually Walter calls him to the set, right?

C: Yeah.

G: So Walter is, and he's asking Walter like, "Why are you calling me here? I'm busy. I'm writing a script." [laughs] Writers really do be like this. [both laugh] Literally, all my friends who are writers are exactly like this. Like, "Why are you talking to me? I'm writing right now. Fuck off, dude."

Walter says, like, "We could have made something good, but instead, you tore the script to pieces. And now, you're gonna pay!" [laughs]

C: He also says that "You replaced it with cleavage and fart jokes." Like, fucking bold of Ben Edlund to say, like, given the way he writes women.

G: Yeah. [both laugh] "You replaced it with sexualization of women! And fart jokes." To be fair, Ben Edlund has not had a fart joke.

C: That's true.

G: Thus far.

C: Thus far.

G: But, you know, Ben Edlund, you never know what to expect.

C: Who wrote the episode where Cas sits on the whoopee cushion?

G: Oh my god! [laughs]

C: Who wrote it? I need to know. "Whoopee cushion Castiel..."

G: "Whoopee cushion Castiel."

C: "... Supernatural." Is this going to give me-

G: No, it's not giving me the episode.

C: It's in [overlapping] "I Believe the Children are Our Future." I don't know anything about this one. Let me look up-

G: Oh my god. [laughs] It's written by Andrew Dabb! [laughs]

C: Oh my god. Course it was.

G: Yeah. So Andrew Dabb and Ben Edlund blended together is unnecessary cleavage and unnecessary fart jokes.

C: Yep. Yes. [laughing] He says you're gonna pay!

G: He's gonna pay! And then he raises a little pendant and starts chanting. So Marty turns around, and the guy from earlier is there. And Marty screams!

C: Did you find it really funny that he summoned the same guy again? Like, four people died on this set, and he's like, "I think the fan guy- that's like, my favorite little ghost guy. I think we should give him a go again."

G: He's so obsessed with this ghost. And I would be as well. The fan death is so much fun to watch.

C: It's true. It's true.

G: Literally, the first time I was like, "Ah!" I was that emoji where it's like, peering a little peek in the hands. [both laughs] Like, I was that emoji. Literally so true.

But this ghost, apparently, the reason why they get taken to the fan is because the ghost drags them to the fan. But before the ghost can drag him to the fan, Sam and Dean shoot the ghosts and show up, and then Sam turns off the fan, and then Dean is like, standing over the guy. Marty says, "You're one hell of a PA." [C laughs] And Dean says, “Yeah, I know." And then helps the guy up. What a loser! [C laughs] What a loser.

C: He is. He's a total loser. Good for him.

So we get the confrontation with Walter where he's like, "What are you doing?" "I could ask you the same thing!" And he starts- Walter starts heading up the scaffolding, and Sam's saying like, "You are doing dangerous things, raising spirits from the dead and making them murder for you." Which- how much is he controlling these people? Like, is he telling them who to kill?

G: I mean, perhaps. Maybe it's like the reaper situation.

C: Is he telling them how to do it? Like, 'cause I don't- like, was he like, "You should disrobe and then go up the-" like, how much power does he have?

G: I mean, maybe it's like, "Just kill this person," and then the ghost chooses like, the way they were killed.

C: Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

G: Yeah. I hope so. I wish that ghost did not like, non-consensually disrobe in front of the guy.

C: Yeah. Right, I hope that she just decided to have a bit of a hot girl summer before doing murder.

So yeah, Walter's like, "You don't understand! You put your heart and soul into something, years of hard work! Years! And then they take it. And they crap all over it. And then they want you to smile and say thank you!" And Sam’s like, "Dude, it's just a movie."

G: [laughing] It's literally just a movie, dude.

C: It's literally just a movie.

You know that Tweet that you posted about Bakugo's death?

G: The what?

C: The Tweet you posted about Bakugo's death [G laughing] where someone said, like, "They live-streamed it. Like, he died in front of his parents." And someone replied like, "At first, I thought that you were talking about a real guy. Can you put like, a tone indicator that says '/drawing' or something?" [both laugh] Literally, can you put a tone indicator that says "/movie"?

G: For the uninformed, in the anime My Hero Academia, or, I don't know, is it a manga? I am not too informed on the thing.

C: There's a- there's an anime and a manga, so-

G: Yeah, I think he died on the manga, right? The current release on the

manga, he dies, Bakugo, and then like, the Twitters were in a shambles because literally like, who would have thought they would kill Bakugo or all people? [laughs] And people were Tweeting shit like, "He was killed in a live stream! [both laughing] [both] His parents saw that!" Do you think this is how people saw us when we were like, crying over Castiel dying, or like, Dean dying? Like, "It's just TV show, dude."

C: [laughing] Right, can you put a tone indicator that says TV on there?

G: Literally, he went to Superhell! [both laughing] He got stabbed in the back by a fucking nail! [overlapping] And then he died of tetanus. "Can you put a tone indicator that says 'TV show' in there?"

C: [laughing] His brother saw that shit!

Anyway. So, he says, "It's just a movie." [G laughing] And Walter's like, "Listen, just leave."

G: [laughing] Wait, I have another joke!

C: Okay, yeah.

G: [still laughing] Like, do you know Drew Gooden?

C: I've heard the name.

G: He's a YouTuber, and then he has a wife, and then like, [laughing], one time, like, he made this joke where one time, she was scrolling through Instagram, and the I, Tonya movie official account was like, advertised to her. And then [laughing] she didn't- she didn't read that it was I, Tony movie, she thought it said- [laughing harder] "It-" [laughing]

C: [laughing] What? [G still laughing] What? [G still laughing] What did you say? You say-

G: [laughing] She thought it said "it ony a-" [laughing]

C: What? [both laughing] It's only a movie?

G: [laughing] No. It says "i tonya movie" but she thought it said "it ony a movie." [both laughing]

C: [laughing] So true. It literally ony a movie.

G: [laughing] Literally- literally, it ony a movie. [both laughing]

C: Oh, god, okay. We just spent like, 10 minutes laughing at our jokes. This is gonna be a great BABPod episode. God, that's good though.

-

C: [laughing] Yeah, so Sam says, "It ony a movie." And Walter says, like, "I have nothing against you, but you need to leave, and leave Martin behind, so I can fucking murder him." And Dean says, like, "Sorry, we can't do that, not as a matter of principle-" or sorry, no, let me do that again. Dean says, "Sorry, we can't do that. It's not like we like him or anything, but, you know, out of principle." [both laugh]

G: So true.

C: And Walter's like, "Okay, well, ghost summoning time." So he summons four ghosts, two who are new to us, and all of them are injured in some way. And they all start walking towards them, but then they suddenly disappear because they're invisible now. For some reason.

G: Yeah, they're invisible. And it's like, we've never had an invisible ghost, right?

C: Yeah, I don't think so. Like, we've had ghosts with like, telekinesis powers. Maybe they just turn invisible and run at you really fast. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Me too.

C: But usually, they're visible during the telekinesis, so that doesn't work out.

So we get a whole thing where they start running away. Apparently, Dean does a thing, which apparently is a Die Hard-

G: Die Hard reference. I do not care about Die Hard.

C: Yeah, me neither, so I'm not even gonna say the line. They're pretty screwed. The whole time, Marty's being like, "Oh my god, ghosts are real? What? How is Walter controlling them?" 'Cause, you know, we somehow needed exposition for that, even though we saw Walter hold up a talisman and chant. Sam's like, "Probably the talisman!" [G laughs] Wow. Thanks. Wow.

G: So smart. He's so smart.

C: He is a real detective. He's a real ace attorney. [G laughs]

G: He's literally ace attorney investigating right now. [C laughs]

C: So Sam pulls out his cell phone camera because he says that film cameras are able to get the ghosts, so your cell phone camera should too. So he scans the room around [G laughs], and he sees one of the ghosts, and he goes like, "Dean, there!" And Dean just shoots. [G laughing] We get multiple scenes with Sam just swiveling the phone around and being like-

G: "There!"

C: "Gunboy, go!"

G: It's so stupid.

C: It looks like one of video game arcade shooter game things, you know? It's hilar.

G: Yeah. It's the stupidest thing they've ever done so far.

C: Yeah, though, didn't they do this in "Asylum" as well? It worked better in "Asylum."

G: I mean, there's a scene later- okay, I'll tell the rest of the scene, right? Eventually, Sam catch us up on the guy as Marty and Dean kill the ghosts, like, shoot the ghosts downstairs. And they end up in the fucking top of the building or something?

C: Yeah something like that.

G: On the roof. And what happens is Walter breaks the pendant. And Sam’s like, “Oh, why did you break it? Like, they're going to attack you because you forced them to do all these horrible things so they're mad at you." And they do. So. [laughs] At this point, Dean and Marty are also upstairs now.

C: And they just watch!

G: They just watch as this guy gets mauled. And at some point, like, Marty raises the camera, and like- [laughing]

C: We see four ghosts whaling on him.

G: [laughing] We see the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen in Supernatural, which is just four ghosts like, scratching up this guy's back. [C laughs] Jesus, it's so funny, I bursted laughing the moment they showed that shot.

C: Yeah.

G: What is going on? I mean, I get that this scene is supposed to be like- I get that the idea's supposed to be goofy, right? Because, like, they do it later in the actual movie, and it's seen as like, "Oh, look at these fucking losers," right? But like, here, at the kill shot, where it's like, he's getting mauled to death, you would want to think that it's going to be a little bit creepy or something, right?

C: Right.

G: But it's just actually hilarious.

C: Four people beating up on him. So good.

Listen, I know this guy murdered like, two people, but the fact that they don't even try to shoot the ghosts with salt, like, when they're killing him, like, it doesn't feel good.

G: Yeah.

C: I feel like Supernatural doesn't want to deal with the idea that sometimes the true monsters are people, and then like, they either have to confront the "we don't kill people policy" or they have to confront like, the criminal justice system [G laughs] as a way to like, deal with-

G: Which they will next episode!

C: Oh my god, fuck, you're right, it's "Folsom Prison Blues."

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, okay, right. So like, so instead of dealing with any of that, they were like, "Just let the ghosts kill him so we don't have to think about this anymore."

G: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

C: Yeah. So, alright. RIP to Walter.

G: RIP. [laughing] At least his parents didn't see that shit. [both laughing] It was not live-streamed

C: Well, we don't- maybe the camera was filming.

G: [laughs] They live-streamed-

C: Maybe they put that shit online. [both laugh]

G: Sorry to all Bakugo fans or whatever, like- [laughs]

C: [laughing] I'm not. He seems annoying. Goodbye to all listener, but I don't like Bakugo, I think. [G laughs]

G: I don't know anything about- it's so weird saying it as My Hero Academia because, like-

C: It's BNHA.

G: Which is like, I think that's a product of like, every single person who watches this is a nerd, so like, they would not say My Hero Academia, you know? [both laugh]

C: Yeah.

G: [laughing] We are just dunking on fans of the show so hard. I'm so sorry to all BNHA fans.

C: Sorry, fans. The memes when Mineta was like, ambiguously bi were really funny.

G: I have no idea about any of this. All I know is that Bakugo is dead. [both laugh]

C: This is gonna age so badly when he comes back from the dead in the like, next installment, and people are like, "These fucking idiots think Bakugo's dead."

G: I mean, Cas came back to life, but all the jokes about him dying are still funny, so.

C: That's true.

G: [laughing] This is so rich coming from a Supernatural podcast. [C laughs] Future Ace Attorney podcast. [laughs]

C: How would- would I be playing it for the first time? Would that how it works?

G: I don't think you would want to play Ace Attorney, so.

C: Yeah, probably not, so you'd do it solo.

G: It would be a podcast where we do like, I talk about Ace Attorney, and in the meantime, you talk about like, fucking Pocket Frogs or something. [both laughing]

C: Yeah, I'll be like, "I caught another fly!" [both laugh]

G: Yeah, exactly.

C: So we get our final movie scene, where two characters are in a house, scanning the room with a cell phone. And, like, the woman's going like, "Oh my god, there's a ghost there!" and points, and the guy shoots. And she says, "I don't understand. How can the spirits appear in the camera phone?" And the guy says, "The video must pick up their frequencies in a way that our eyes can't." Which is like, an explainer, I guess, but you know, with layers.

G: Isn't the bigger question here like, "Why is the shotgun working?"

C: [laughs] Right.

G: Like, couldn't they put the explainer over the fact that, like, the shotgun is actually loaded with salt and also how the fuck did these kids load the shotgun with salt?

C: Yeah, but I mean, I guess because the purpose of it is to serve as an explainer for the phone thing in the full episode [G laughs], they felt they didn't need to explain the salt. But yeah.

G: [laughs] Because they already explained it last episode. Two episodes ago. So true.

C: Yeah. And also in- what was it?

G: "Hook Man"?

C: Yeah.

Yeah, Marty is really excited about this whole situation, and Sam says, like, "You find out there's an afterlife, and this is what you do with it?" And Marty says, "I needed a little jazz on the page," [laughing] and then jazz music starts playing.

G: Are you for real?

C: Or jazzy-ish music starts playing [G laughs], and it continues through the rest of the end of the episode.

G: [laughing] I feel like I do not trust you to know what jazz music sounds like.

C: Fine. There were brass instruments in it, and to me, that's jazz. [both laugh]

G: Yeah, anyway, Sam is walking towards the outside of the lot, and then he sees like, a - what do you call this? - a trailer that Tara Benchley's name on it, and it's rocking, so, you know, she's having a fun time inside. And then, as he goes to the door, Dean comes out, and he's fixing his collar, and his hair is all messed up! And he looks soo cute! And, you know, Tara Benchley is up there and she's like, smiling at Dean, she's flirting it up, and she says, again, “You're one hell of a PA.” And Dean’s like, "Thank youu." [C laughs] And then they walk away. Dean like, grabs a sandwich, and they walk into the sunset. Except the sunset is just a prop, and it's not real. So they walk towards the rest of the lot.

It's a nice ending, honestly.

C: It is.

G: For a very boring, very bad episode. [both laughing] It's not bad, it's not bad. I take that back.

C: The payoff of the plot being that it's just this guy named Walter who's just weird is- [laughs]

G: It's actually quite funny. It is quite funny.

C: It is funny, but I don't know if it works. It's funny because it's bad. [laughs]

G: Yeah.

Okay, so what are your thoughts about this? You think it's funny but because it's bad. I think it's entertaining but not that much. [laughing]

C: Yeah.

G: I mean, it's a fine episode. I get why people would like it, but I also get why people would be like, "Eh, it's whenever."

C: Yeah, none of this is anywhere near as entertaining as the Sam awkward sequence in Maddy's house in "Heart."

G: [laughs] Yeah. None of this is as interesting as Sam saying, "You're different." [both laugh] Or whatever it is he said there.

C: "You're... unusual."

G: "You're unusual." [C laughs] So yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: [laughs] Best Line/Worst Line.

C: Well, we said what the best line was many, many times. Which was, "You know, maybe spirits are trying to shut down the movie 'cause they think it sucks. 'Cause, I mean, it kind of does."

G: Literally so true, it does suck, and the spirits are trying to take it down. But what's your worst line?

C: Huh. Um...

G: I have no idea.

C: There's no lines on this episode that mean anything.

G: Exactly. 'Cause like, the bad lines are bad on purpose, I feel like, is what they're doing, right?

C: Right.

G: So like, it's tongue-in-cheek, so.

C: Right.

G: [laughing] "It ony a movie" is my worst line. [both laughing]

C: So true. Oh, god. I don't have a worst line. I'll go with yours. [G laughs]

G: [laughing] A line that doesn't even exist in the episode.

C: Exactly.

G: Okay. Rating. So what do you think is the IMDB rating of this episode? I'll go first. I'll say it's an eight... I think the references are lost to us, but I'm assuming they're not to the target audience at the time, which is who rates these things the most probably, right?

C: Yes.

G: So I would say this is an 8.6.

C: Yeah, okay. Yeah, I agree that it will be fairly high for that reason, and also because the Deangirls really like this episode. But it's bad. I'm gonna go with an 8.5.

G: Okay. Let's see... Oh, you're closer! It's an 8.4.

C: Okay. I'm glad that they agree that it was boring.

G: "Delightful camp. Not quite the much later episode 'The French Mistake.'" Yeah, like, this reminds you a lot of "The French Mistake" in a way, right? Like, this is the precursor to that.

C: Mm.

G: Yeah. But instead of just making fun of the industry, I feel like that more is making fun of Jared and Jensen, specifically-

C: Yeah.

G: - the French m- [laughing] Jesus Christ. I just recalled, like, people saying why "The French Mistake" is called "The French Mistake," and I- I- [laughs]

C: Wait, why is it called "The French Mistake"?

G: [laughs] Should I cut this out? But like, apparently the French mistake is a term that is like, when like, two guys sleep together and then like, can't talk about it afterwards. And in "The French Mistake," Sam and Dean are- I mean Jared and Jensen are like, not talking to each other.

C: [laughing] Oh my god! [screams] Wait, because that episode does strongly imply that the people on set think that Jared and Jensen are sleeping together. [G laughs]

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, okay.

G: It's really funny.

C: We can discuss that when it happens.

G: Yeah.

G: It's just- do you think the placement of this episode is weird?

C: Yeah. I mean, it'd be weird early in season two too because John just died. But yeah, immediately after "Heart" is weird.

G: I mean, the next episode is "Folsom Prison Blues," and then the one after that is, I think, another- "Dream a Little Dream of Me"? Or is it like, "What Is and What Should Never Be"? I think that's season 3, actually. Let me see.

C: Wait, okay, wait, no, I think it's season 2, no, I think you're right. Which pisses me off.

G: No, it's "What Is and Should Never Be."

C: Yeah, is that- is that in season 2?

G: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: Wait that pisses me off. This is Sam's season. That's like- why is that 2.20?

G: Towards the end, too, yeah.

C: What does that have to do with Azazel?

G: I don't fucking know. I hate Supernatural so much it's unreal.

C: It makes a lot more sense in season three because season 3 is the "Dean is going to die" season.

G: Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, who cares.

C: Whatever, I hate Supernatural.

G: Let's end this episode. [laughs]

So that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties! Next week, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 19: "Folsom Prison Blues." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. C: Follow us on social media! We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #babpod, B-A-B-POD. And thank you to anyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

[adamwatchesmovies]

Sabotage (2014)

Arnold Schwarzenegger (a personal favorite of mine) hasn’t lost it. Too nasty to be fun, Sabotage is not a good film, but it’s not because of him. The problem is that none of the characters contain even a shred of likability.

John “Breacher” Wharton (Schwarzenegger) leads a DEA team that's gotten greedy. While raiding a cartel warehouse, they steal $10 million and hide it in the sewers below, masking their crime with an explosion that destroys the vault. When the money disappears, Breacher, James “Monster” Murray (Sam Worthington), his wife Lizzy (Mireille Enos), Joe “Grinder” Philips (Joe Manganiello), Julius “Sugar” Edmonds (Terrence Howard), Eddie “Neck” Jordan (Josh Holloway), Tom “Pyro” Roberts (Max Martini), and Bryce “Tripod” McNeely (Kevin Vance) no longer know who they can trust.

You could cheer for a group of corrupt officers if they were enjoyable to watch, but these people aren’t. They joke around and throw some good-natured insults at each other, but they don’t seem like friends. When a traitor shows up in their midst, it doesn’t feel like a betrayal because you never feel that this unit was a well-oiled machine. With each passing scene, they differentiate themselves less and less from the bad guys they stole from and you stop caring. Arnold’s Breacher isn’t quite as detestable as the rest. Instead, he’s given a lame backstory about his wife and son being violently tortured to death. GrEaT. Even this I could’ve looked past, but the film is needlessly bloody, and not in a good way. When you consider the ending (which to give credit where credit is due I didn’t see coming), I doubt some of this would make sense on a re-watch. I don’t want to give it away, but there are some Saw level kills here that no one in real life could’ve done. I know there’s a reason for the deaths to be as bloody as they are, but the red herring is so ineffectual I can’t imagine anyone being fooled by it.

Aside from Breacher - whom you begin to dislike more and more as the film progresses for ineffectually leading a team of no-good thugs - the one character you might sort of like is Olivia Williams as Caroline Brentwood, a police detective investigating the murders. I guess she’s ok, but the writing just makes this movie as appealing as the sludge at the bottom of a garbage can. Combine that with an unconvincing romantic subplot and there’s just nothing to like. The action scenes aren’t impressive and the last one we get feels completely unnecessary. There’s just something about Sabotage (what does that title have to do with anything?) that leaves you feeling gross.

Even for Schwarzenegger fans, Sabotage is a hard sell. Its lead never gets to show off his charisma, the plot isn’t particularly memorable, and none of the characters are enjoyable on any level. There’s hardly anything to like but at least it moves quickly. Since it doesn’t actually generate any rage, I’ll just label it as bad and forgettable. (On DVD, August 2, 2017)

#Sabotage #movies #films #Movie Reviews #Film Reviews #David Ayer #Skip Woods #arnold schwarzenegger #Sam Worthington #Olivia Williams #Joe Manganiello #Harold Perrineau #Martin Donovan #Max Martini #Josh Holloway #Mireille Enos #Terrence Howard #2014 movies #2014 films

[the-firebird69]

Sam Sulek gets a nasty chest pump🏋️‍♀️ #motivation #bodybuilding #explor...

You never listen you don't understand it you're stupid and ignorant people you two here I'm damn lucky I put this out it should be easy for me instead it took like a year cuz you're f****** a****** s*** that makes a lot of sense did they think they can go into stellar and it's these Max they get their big ships ready they got 10 mi nuclear bombs 10 mile diameter nuclear devices and we know about them and we have to get to them and we got that information from other bunkers that are being ruined and they understand it that they have a 20 mi Stone planning they put it on they tested very cold they tested very hot they tested in radiation and for quite a while then they take that off and they can reconstitute it and hardened again and they have the testing for industrial travel and if you think you're going to go with them you're not even if it's the computer or the computer is going to get on board and leave you here cuz you suck Trump and kid the computer wouldn't want to bring you either if it's over there it doesn't have to obey you at all and you're saying you rigged it okay well sit here and rot and be the heroes of nobody the friends of nobody and nobody should listen to a damn thing you say cuz you're always stupid enough to lie to yourselves it's so damn dumb

Zues Hera

You too and Terry cheesman are sitting here riding on us you know all about it and yeah you have specimens in your ships and we want them

There's one ship up there with 30 mi Stone on it and you put it on after and it's close enough and some gaps in it but you fill them we do understand what we're saying

Macs

I'm going to war with you we understand what he's saying if we start saying it we get beat up all night I got to tell you something he's right the whole time you guys are maniacs you get a blow up the Earth maybe and you get blown up by debris and he says you want to hide behind the Sun or hide behind a big planet and really they've been hiding behind the Sun the whole time and it's gone out that you people are complain for all this happening you people are complain he's the son and you keep saying it so we've had enough for you

It is sick as hell you're going to be sigourney Weaver and crew

Trump

That's a lot straighter than it usually says and he just sits here and pisses me off it doesn't mean he believes what he's saying it means that he probably wants to ship and the bombs himself doesn't know if the computer has it then I don't care if the computer has it the computer doesn't like him and it says it

Zues Hera

I don't care what the computer says it's not a person who doesn't have a body and it says it does it has a computer for a body you need to poop

It's telling me it has a computer for a body right now so I get something I don't have a choice but to try and get there I want to use hostages so I'm trying to take you to the hostage and he says no s*** you f****** a****** you said it for years everyone can hear you they're blowing your brains out so I guess that's probably what they hear and yeah it is they hear it all the time you stupid s*** what a f****** aggravating f**** you are you're not the only one who knows about it you stupid f****** c***

Trump