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bonniebelleklyde · 3 years

Text

Mistletoe

Word Count: 2871

Pairing: Loceit (romantic)

Warnings: Mild cursing, kissing

Summary: Janus finds himself the victim of a cruel prank involving Logan and a baffling amount of mistletoe. Janus is completely unbothered. No, really, he is.

When you’re done here, check out sequel Things Unsaid and Prequels A Storm to Weather and The Small Hours.

The first time it had happened had been an unfortunate accident. Logan had been leaning casually against the doorframe that opened the living room up into the hallway, engaged in a conversation with Roman that must have been exasperating judging by the long-suffering huff of his breath and the roll of his eyes. Upon closer inspection, however, it was clear that the exasperation was mostly feigned—the lopsided curve of the logical side’s lips betrayed his fond amusement at whatever asinine argument Roman must have been making. All of this was readily apparent to Janus at a mere glance in Logan’s direction. Janus was, after all, keenly observant and had his gaze landed on Roman instead of Logan, he would have gleaned just as much information about the prince. Obviously.

None of that, however, was what stopped Janus dead in his tracks as he made his way down the hallway. No, what ground his mind and body both to a full stop was the small sprig of green and red hanging from the top of the doorway, just to the left of Logan’s head. Later, Janus would wrack his brain for some good reason that the sight of mistletoe arrested him so thoroughly, but for now he did the only thing he seemed capable of doing—he just…stared. His eyes locked onto the tiny plant as if it were the most fascinating thing that Janus had ever seen…or maybe as if it were something horrific that he couldn’t peel his eyes from. His feet moved without direction of any kind from his mind, as if the damn mistletoe had some sort of magnetic pull on him. He took one step toward the doorway and then another, knowing full well he’d had no intention of going to into the living room when he’d started down this hallway. In fact, he’d never be able to recall where he wanted to go in the first place.

He had no idea how much time had elapsed before Roman noticed his presence or his staring, but Janus’s eyes were finally torn from the mistletoe at the sound of a low chuckle, and he looked in the creative side’s direction to see a slow grin spreading over the other’s face. Roman’s eyes flicked from Janus to the mistletoe hanging over Logan’s head—Janus didn’t dare let his gaze fall to Logan for fear of what expression he might have been sporting—and took a step closer to the doorway.

Oh god, Janus’s useless, horrified mind provided. Suddenly, the deceitful side was absolutely certain of two things: first, that he was about to watch Roman step into the offending doorway and kiss Logan under that godforsaken mistletoe, and second, that he would rather tear off a limb than bear witness to that for one second. Upon reflection after the incident had passed, Janus would become certain of a third fact—that he’d never in his life looked more ridiculous than he did then, sprinting down the hallway to avoid two idiots and a stupid plant.

The second time it happened was all Roman’s doing. In hindsight, Janus really should have known that Roman was up to something when the other had called him into his room from down the hall, asking him to assist with some vaguely mysterious “problem.” Janus was deceit for crying out loud. He should have known.

“Wait, don’t come in yet—just stand right there by the door,” Roman said in a rush, his voice all giddy excitement.

Janus stopped short, confused, and looked passed Roman to see an equally perplexed Logan sitting on the creative side’s bed. Since when were these two attached at the hip? If there was some sort of happy announcement forthcoming, Janus suspected he might literally be sick. Because Janus simply had neither time nor the patience to hear about the romantic exploits of the other sides. And for no other reason. Clearly.

“Roman, whatever this is, I really don’t—” Janus started to drawl, affecting a bored, disinterested tone, when he cut himself off in his own surprise and confusion as Logan was shoved unceremoniously to stand directly in front of him.

Janus blinked hard, attempting to discern exactly what was happening here and coming to no conclusions whatsoever because he was struck by the much more important realization that he’d never been close enough to Logan to get a good look at the logical side’s eyes behind his glasses. They were rich and dark and surprisingly soft, and Janus was vaguely aware that his own lips had parted slightly of their own accord, his mouth gone completely dry in a matter of seconds. He was…ill. There could be no other explanation for his dry mouth and his complete inability to think straight.

He was torn from his reverie by the sound of Roman clearing his throat. Janus glared daggers at the prince standing behind Logan. The prince who was now jerking his head upward in an obnoxiously exaggerated motion, his eyes moving pointedly from Janus’s face to a spot above his head. Reluctantly, Janus followed Roman’s gaze upward and cursed under his breath when the sight above him finally shed clarity on this ridiculous situation. Mistletoe. Of course.

Like a child, Janus closed his eyes to avoid reality. Logan was anything but stupid, and he must have noticed that thrice damned mistletoe by now. Janus was totally unwilling to look Logan in the (deep, liquid, lovely) eye and see any of the myriad unpleasant emotions that must be there. Discomfort. Disgust. Horror. Pity. No, Janus refused to see any of it, refused to acknowledge that this cruel joke was being played on him. For a second time, he turned tail and ran without a word. Roman was yelling something from behind him, but Janus was too busy wiping at his face to pay attention to what it was. His eyes were watering because he must have some sort of allergy to mistletoe—it was the only plausible explanation.

The third time, Patton had somehow become involved. The moral side had cajoled Janus into helping him in the kitchen, and as Janus focused on his attempt to avoid burning the contents of the pan he’d been placed in charge of, Patton waved at something—or as it turned out, someone—behind them.

“Oh hi, Logan! Lucky you’re here; we need a third man over here. Could you grab the salt for me? It’s in that cabinet next to Janus.”

“Luck was in no way involved in my presence here, Patton,” Logan replied as he approached the relevant cabinet. His tone was equal parts exasperated and confused, and Janus hadn’t the slightest clue why it made him smile to himself, why such a mundane statement from Logan seemed to cause something to constrict in his chest. “You did, after all, provide an exact time at which my help would be urgently required in the kitchen.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Patton said, his voice overly chipper even for him. “Well, now that you’re here, why don’t you just add that salt to Janus’s pan there?”

“I hardly see why you needed a third person for this,” Logan remarked, but he didn’t sound particularly bothered despite his words.

Janus watched out of the corner of his eye as Logan moved to do what he was told, reaching over Janus’s arm to sprinkle salt into the pan. And Janus was imagining things when it looked as if Logan paused for no reason when he’d finished, and imagining again when he felt the brush of an arm gently over his. He was certainly imagining things when he snuck a peek at Logan’s face and saw a slight flush in the other’s cheeks. Janus…simply had a vivid imagination.

As Logan’s arm finally moved away, Patton’s hand suddenly shot out, causing Janus to jump violently backward. And sure enough, there was that fucking mistletoe again, dangling over Logan’s head from Patton’s hand. Subtle.

At this point, the mere sight of mistletoe must have triggered Janus’s flight response, as he had sunk out before he could so much as blink. He spent the rest of the day locked in his room. Because he was tired. What did he have to avoid anyway? No, he’d just had a trying day of…sautéing vegetables.

The fourth time, Janus had woken far earlier than he normally did and decided to fix himself a proper breakfast. In the kitchen, he found Logan looking absolutely nothing like himself.

The logical side was, for lack of a better term, a mess. He was on his feet but slouched over the counter as if without its support he would sink to the floor. He dawned a royal blue pajama set that looked like silk and was certainly something Janus had never seen the other wear before. Several buttons of his top were undone, and his glasses were nowhere to be seen. He was looking down at what was likely his fourth cup of coffee, so Janus couldn’t quite see his eyes, but they must have been tired because Janus could make out the bags under Logan’s eyes that, today, rivaled even Virgil’s. When Logan finally registered that someone had entered the room and met Janus’s expression with tired and inexplicably sad eyes, Janus had to make a concerted effort to restrain himself from the sudden impulse to round the counter that stood between them and wrap this man in his arms. To stroke Logan’s bedraggled hair and hum soft melodies in his ear until the stubborn man could be coaxed back to bed.

The deceitful side cleared his throat violently to dispel that dangerous train of thought, a sound that caused Logan to wince as if Janus had shouted at him.

“Are you going to run away from me again?” Logan asked in a tone that sounded like loss, like tragic defeat.

Janus blanched. Was Logan’s current state somehow Janus’s fault?

“No,” he answered in a tentative voice, just above a whisper. “And I don’t…I haven’t been running away from you,” he added weakly.

Logan chucked at that, the sound carrying no humor in it.

“I am many things, Janus, but I think we can both agree that an idiot is not one of them,” he said, and Janus would pay any price if someone would tell him why in the world Logan sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “Roman and Patton have conspired to play a cruel trick on you, it seems. I did attempt to talk them out of it, once I realized what it was they were trying to do.”

Janus wanted very badly to lie. To pretend he didn’t know exactly what Logan was talking about. Like he was blissfully unaware of the goddamned mistletoe and just how unfair this prank was to both of them. Somehow, his normally silver tongue had turned to lead, and he struggled to find any words at all, let alone a lie.

“I’m sorry,” was all he managed to choke out, distressed as he was by the redness of Logan’s dark eyes.

“Don’t,” Logan returned, and it sounded like plea. “Apparently, it is I who should be making apologies.”

There was a bitterness to Logan’s last statement that Janus couldn’t understand.

“What do you have to apologize for?”

Logan blinked and a single tear escaped its duct to roll slowly down the logical side’s face. Janus watched it in horror. He opened his mouth to speak again, to say something, anything to fix this, but Logan cut him off.

“I don’t know,” he exclaimed. “I’ve recounted every moment of the past week in painstaking detail and I cannot come up with what it is I could have done.”

“You haven’t—” Janus rushed to interject, but Logan soldiered on.

“I understand that the nonsense with the mistletoe has distressed you. I understand that you find the act that Roman and Patton have attempted to set in motion with it is unpleasant to you. I understand that my feelings for you have always been unrequited—”

“Your feelings for—?”

“But what I cannot understand is what I have done to convince you so thoroughly that I would ever force you. That you had to physically run away from me to prevent…how exactly did you arrive at the conclusion that I would ever kiss you without your consent?”

In that moment, the slightest push would have knocked Janus to the ground. Since none came, he simply stared, frozen, mouth hanging open and he struggled to process all that Logan had just said. Logan stared right back at him with wet but determined eyes, evidently awaiting Janus’s answer. Regrettably, Janus’s bewildered mind had none to offer.

“Your feelings for me?” he tried again, a slight quiver in his voice betraying his fear.

Logan tucked his head downward at that, and Janus’s heart clenched painfully at the realization that he probably did so to conceal more tears. It was several moments before the logical side had composed himself enough to look up once more, his face confirming Janus’s suspicions.

“Must we talk about that part of it?”

Logan asked the question as if these feelings Logan apparently had were obvious, that there had been some sort of unspoken understanding between the two of them. But Janus continued to stare dumbly back at Logan. Perhaps it was cruel, to push further now. But Janus was selfish, and Janus was afraid—he was not going to subject himself to rejection. He couldn’t; it would defy the very fabric of who he was. He had to be sure.

“Yes,” came his answer on a disbelieving breath.

Logan nodded as though in defeat. He took a long, shaking breath before delivering his answer.

“Though I have been aware of the…unusual affect you have on me for quite some time now, it was only recently that Roman assisted me in coming to terms with the fact that the feelings I have for you have a name. That name being, as I am sure has been obvious to the rest of you, love.”

Love. Janus’s brain halted on the word and he was sure that Logan was still speaking, but the deceitful side’s mind had short circuited. His feet moved of their own accord, and before Janus could register what was happening, he had rounded the edge of the counter and was now standing directly in front of Logan, his hand resting on Logan’s hip.

Logan stopped speaking abruptly—may have even stopped breathing from the sound of it—and blinked heavily, eyes fixed on the spot where Janus’s hand had fallen. He opened his mouth several times and closed it again without speaking. He furrowed his brows as if recalculating a difficult equation to see where he’d gone wrong with it the first time. His brows were still furrowed when he met Janus’s eyes once more.

“Roman…told me it was obvious, that I loved you. You…you knew how I felt.” Logan’s last statement came out like a question.

Janus shook his head in slow motion, still struggling to believe the turn this conversation had taken. Logan’s eyes widened.

“You didn’t…you didn’t know…”

“It would appear,” Janus said softly, bringing a reverent hand to rest against Logan’s cheek and reveling in how easily the logical side leaned into his touch, “that you vastly overestimated my intelligence, dearheart.”

Logan’s breath hitched at the term of endearment, and the logical side moved closer to Janus as if pulled by magnetism, his shaking hand rising to rest against Janus’s chest.

“Why did you run away?” Logan asked as Janus’s thumb moved to brush a stray tear from the other’s face.

“Because I was afraid,” Janus answered, for once completely honest.

“You’re…afraid of me?”

Janus chuckled, the sound soft and fond and full of affection.

“Dearheart, you are terrifying. Now kiss me.”

Logan needed no further prompting. In an instant the logical side had closed the short distance between them, placing his free hand at the back of Janus’s head, and suddenly nothing registered in Janus’s mind apart from the feeling of Logan’s lips on his. They tasted like black coffee, and Janus had always hated coffee but all at once nothing had ever tasted so sweet. Janus moved the hand he’d placed on Logan’s hip to wrap it tightly around the logical side’s waist and pull him closer. The kiss was sweet and soft and gentle, and Janus couldn’t help but smile against Logan’s lips. There was a breathy sound of contentment that could have come from either of them—Janus hadn’t the slightest clue. Janus kissed Logan a second, third, fourth time, unwilling to come up for air as if the moment they parted, Logan would vanish.

The sound of Logan’s quiet laughter gave him pause. He pulled back just far enough to look the other in the eye, and saw that, at some point, Logan’s eyes must have turned skyward, as he was now chuckling at the ceiling. Janus followed Logan’s gaze upward and nearly doubled over in laughter at the small sprig of green and red taped to the ceiling above them.

“Goddamned mistletoe,” he muttered before leaning in for yet another kiss.

The stupid plant had its merits after all.

#fanfic #loceit #logan sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #holiday #mistletoe

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logicallyanxious · 5 years

Text

Creative Differences

*CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS VIDEO*

This now has a prequel, although both can be read separately!

Also on Ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397842/chapters/46161067

Words: 4,255

Characters: Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders, and Remus Sanders. Also the dragon witch.

Warnings: Blood mentions, injuries, evil/nonsympathetic Remus (idk what tags to use for him yet like we have for Deceit), fighting, intrusive thoughts/nightmares, food mentioned. Let me know if I should add anything else.

Summary: After being terrorized by his brother, Roman seeks out Logan’s help. The logical side is quick to find a solution and Roman realizes he’s been taking their relationship for granted.

Logan looked up from the book he’d been studying at the faint knock at his door. He stared at it, perplexed, certain that he’d misheard. That his ears were playing tricks on him. No one ever came to visit him.

The sound came again, this time louder, more urgent, and Logan jumped out of his seat.

“Coming!” He acknowledged the visitor as he crossed the room.

He pushed the door open, blinking in surprise at the side that stood before him.

Roman leaned against the door frame, his head hanging, as if he could barely hold himself up. His usual pristine attire was wrinkled and stained and his hair was wild, as if he’d spent hours pulling at it without the energy to summon a comb. Logan looked to where Roman’s hand clutched his sword, his knuckles white as if he’d forgotten how to let go, his nails clearly having been gnawed on.

“R-Roman?” The name left Logan’s mouth in a whisper, a question, as if he wasn’t sure he believed his eyes. He wanted to ask more, ask if he was okay, what happened, but it all got caught in his throat when the other side looked up.

He had bags under his eyes, a blossoming purple that stained his usual blemish free, tanned skin. Although, now his skin was a sickly pale, looking dry, almost as if the most subtle shift in facial expression could cause it to crack.

Logan’s heart lurched as he noticed the fresh tears on his friend’s face, his eyes red and bloodshot. Logan’s eyes followed the droplets down Roman’s cheek, which was hollow and littered with bruises. Roman chewed on his lip, which was blotched with a dark red that spilled onto his chin, dripping onto his shirt.

Logan’s stomach churned as he took in the red color before him, just now noticing it. Roman’s uniform wasn’t just stained, it was bloodstained. The material was torn in several places, as if someone had cut into it, and blood splattered those areas.

“I-I’m sorry,” Roman finally managed to mumble out, his voice thick and hoarse. “I-I didn’t know where else to go.”

Logan wanted to assure him that there was no need to apologize, that of course Roman was welcome here, would always be welcome here. To tell him that he was grateful Roman trusted him enough to seek out his help while in this state. But another part of him wanted to ask why him. Why not Patton or Virgil, sides Roman was undoubtedly closer to and more comfortable with.

Before Logan could find the words to reply, Roman had pushed off from the door frame, stumbling forward. Logan easily caught him, more worry flooding his system as he noted how light the other side was.

“S-sorry,” Roman apologized again and Logan shushed him, helping him inside.

He gently laid Roman down on his bed, trying his best to make him comfortable.

“What… What happened?” Logan finally managed to ask.

Roman stared up at the ceiling, his eyes glassy and distant, and at first Logan thought he hadn’t heard him.

“He’s stronger now.”

Logan blinked in surprise, unsure how to take that information. He knew who he was, without a doubt, but he never thought he’d ever cause so much pain, at least not to his own brother.

“Wait, Remus did this to you?”

Roman flinched at the name and Logan made a mental note not to mention it again. Roman nodded, more tears falling from his eyes.

“That- that…!” Logan couldn’t think of a bad enough word to describe the side. “I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind.”

“Don’t!” Roman sat up, reaching out to clutch Logan’s arm. He groaned at the sudden motion, and Logan helped lay him back down. “Don’t…” He said again, this time just a quiet whisper.

Logan’s eyes softened as he took in the other side and he reached out, fixing his hair. Roman seemed to relax at the touch, melting into it.

“I know you’re worried, but he can’t hurt me.” Logan reminded.

“Don’t leave me.”

Logan frowned, taking in the fear in the others voice.

“You know he can’t hurt you here, right? You’re safe.”

“Please.”

At the desperation in Roman’s voice Logan nodded, a silent promise to remain by Roman’s side. That seemed to help soothe him and Logan let out a sigh of relief.

Logan didn’t want to pry, but he didn’t know how to help Roman if he didn’t understand the situation. They were sides, they shouldn’t get hurt. He knows it’s happened to Roman before, such as when he threw a paper at him or when Remus knocked him out, but he never thought it could go to this extent. If so then shouldn’t Roman be littered with scars after years of battling the dragon witch?

Logan let out a deep sigh, looking down at Roman, who’s eyes were half closed, his eyebrows pinched in discomfort.

“Do you mind telling me how Re- how you got hurt?”

Roman shifted nervously, biting at his lip and Logan reached out, rubbing his thumb over it until he let go. It was already bleeding enough, no need to agitate the wound further. Roman frowned, unappreciative, and Logan grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. If Roman felt comfort in having something to clamp down on, then his hand would have to do.

“I know the memory is unsavory, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong. Though, I encourage you to take your time. You don’t have to reveal anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

Roman nodded, squeezing his eyes closed. More tears spilled out and Logan wiped them away with his free hand.

“He used to be reigned in and n-now he’s running free. Ever… Ever since the last video I haven’t been able to get rid of him.”

“You’ve been dealing with this for that long?” Logan mumbled, astonished, and Roman nodded. “Oh, Roman, I should have noticed and helped you sooner.”

Roman shook his head, his nails digging into Logan’s hand. Logan ran his thumb over the back of Roman’s hand, comforting him.

“I-I thought I could handle him, l-like before. But he corrupted every day dream and whispered in my ear a-and I-I haven’t been able to sleep. He keeps showing me awful things and telling me that he’ll replace me as… As creativity! A-and I tried, I kept trying to fight back, but with every blow I got weaker and I just, it hurts so bad Logan. It hurts. I couldn’t do it anymore. I-I couldn’t…”

His voice trailed off as he began to sob and Logan’s heart broke for him. He reached out, combing his hand through his hair, doing whatever he could to help lessen his pain.

“Shh, it’s okay. I know you hurt, I know. But I’m going to fix you, okay? I won’t let him get to you again, I promise.”

“I-I wanted to ignore him like you did b-but I couldn’t!” He hiccuped.

“Well, it’s not that I ignored him. I just understood that his power comes from the mind, that none of it is real.” Logan’s eyes lit up with realization. “But as creativity, you don’t understand that! You believe in the power of the imagination, and that makes his attacks real, and gives them power to hurt you. Of course!”

Logan jumped up, ignoring Roman’s whine as he reached out to him. He summoned a first aid kit before returning to Roman’s side.

“It’s like he’s a placebo. Since you believe it’s real, it affects you. So, it’s safe to assume that if you believe you can get hurt, then you believe you can be healed.”

He helped Roman remove his shirt and hissed as he noticed how many cuts and bruises covered his skin. He pulled out the disinfectant, pouring it on a cotton ball and pressing it to one of Roman’s wounds.

On instinct Roman flinched, hissing at the sting. Logan smirked to himself.

“I know a lot of disinfectants sting, but this one doesn’t.”

The pain in Roman’s face ebbed away, replaced by confusion.

“O-oh, yeah. I guess it was just cold.”

Logan smiled. Belief is a powerful thing, especially to Roman.

He continued cleansing the wounds, moving on to covering them with antibiotic ointment before putting on the bandages. Roman laid still, something Logan never thought the creative side was capable of.

“All done!” Logan announced, summoning a cherry lollipop.

Roman quickly grabbed it from him and Logan chuckled at his enthusiasm. Though, the excitement in Roman’s eyes faded as he glanced over at his discarded shirt.

“That one was my favorite…” He commented, forlorn.

“I’ll fix it up for you, okay? In the meantime, why don’t you get some rest?”

Sides didn’t really need sleep, but given Roman’s current state Logan guessed it’d be the only way to help him gain some energy back. Roman nodded, closing his eyes, and Logan went to his desk, summoning a stain stick and sewing kit.

Before he began he paused, looking over to where Roman was resting.

“Hey, Roman?” He asked, hoping the other was awake.

“Huh?” Roman hummed, peeling open an eye.

“I was just curious… How come you’ve never been hurt before, given all your battles with the dragon witch?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Roman replied with a smile, closing his eye again. “I don’t lose.”

Logan wanted to know more, but Roman’s breathing evened out and he decided that it’d be best left alone. He instead turned his attention to the tattered shirt lying before him, pulling the cap off the stain stick and setting to work.

It was about an hour later, when he was admiring his finished product, that he noticed Roman thrashing in bed. The sheets were wrapped around him and his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat.

Logan ran over, shirt forgotten, and shook Roman’s shoulder, trying to wake him up. The other side’s face was contorted and he was mumbling in his sleep. Finally he bolted upright, his eyes wide and breathing quick and uneven.

Before Logan could say anything Roman turned to look at him. His eyes immediately filled with tears and he lunged forward pulling Logan into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured on repeat, sobbing into Logan’s chest.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Logan promised, rubbing Roman’s back. “It was just a dream, whatever happened I’m okay.”

“I-It felt so real!” Roman revealed, his voice muffled in Logan’s shirt. “I-I was fighting the dragon witch b-but before… B-before I could strike her roar faded out a-and his voice s-said, it said, “Imagine if you missed.” A-and then I did! And she, th-the dragon witch, attacked me. And then I… I imagined that you came to help me but then the voice, it, the voice came again. A-and said, “Oh, what fun would it be if she ate him?” But I didn’t want her to! I didn’t! B-but I couldn’t get up a-and you were calling for help and the dragon witch was laughing and I saw… I saw her teeth tear into you and you were screaming and there was so much blood and and-”

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” Logan reminded, resting his chin on Roman’s head. “I’m right here, nothing’s going to happen to me. I promise.”

In his arms, Roman was shaking, terrified, and Logan squeezed him tighter. He clung to Logan’s shirt and Logan found himself unable to care about the wrinkles that that would leave.

“I’d say it was just a nightmare, but I think we both know who’s responsible.”

“I-I thought you said he couldn’t get to me in here.”

Logan flinched, unable to bare the thought that he’d given Roman a false sense of security.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Logan tried to come up with a way to make it better and settled for giving Roman a small kiss on the top of his head. He’d found that the other sides found such expressions of affection endearing. “He couldn’t physically get to you, but it appears that in your absence he has full control over the imagination, and therefore is better able to control dreams. I think the only way to stop him is to fight back.”

“I-I thought you said not to repress intrusive thoughts.”

“I said that Thomas shouldn’t repress them. But these aren’t intrusive thoughts for you, he’s purposely pushing you out of your territory. He’s being a bully.”

“But I already tried fighting back!”

“You tried to fight back physically. I was unbothered by his attacks, but clearly you are. Use your imagination to your advantage. Instead of letting him control it, you take control.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Roman sat up, watching Logan get up and throw his shirt at him. He slipped it on and climbed out of bed.

“We’re going to take the fight to him. To the imagination.”

Roman took a step back, looking timid. It was an unnatural look on him.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Roman, it’s your realm too. You can’t let him take over.” He reached out, grabbing Roman’s hand. “You can do this, I’ll be right by your side the whole time. I believe in you.”

Roman’s cheeks reddened and he nodded, feeling more bold.

“O-okay, let’s go!”

Logan led Roman down the hall, the latter becoming more resistant the closer they got to their destination. He dug his heels into the ground when they reached the door, eyeing it cautiously.

“I-I changed my mind. I don’t know if I can do this.”

Logan gave his hand a squeeze and offered him an encouraging smile.

“I’m not going to force you to if you don’t want to, but I don’t have any other solutions to get him to stop. Just know, I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t know you could do it.”

Roman nodded, steeling his nerves.

“Let’s do this!”

He pushed the door open, revealing a fantasy world. Mountains stuck out in the horizon and they stood in the center of a market, merchants selling anything from exotic fruits to potions and enchanted armor.

Standing before them was a woman in a black dress, wings and horns marking her different from the other shoppers. She grinned when she saw them, her teeth jagged and pointed.

“Prince Roman, ready for a round two already? Oh, and I see you brought your delicious little friend! How did you know I was starting to feel a bit peckish? You’re so thoughtful!”

Roman let out a growl, moving to stand in front of Logan and brandishing his sword.

“Don’t even think of it, witch! I won’t let you touch him, not again.”

The dragon witch laughed. “Oh, come now, enough dramatics. There’s no need to fight, really. Just hand him over and I’ll be on my way.”

“Never!”

The witch’s amused expression hardened, turning into a glare. Her eyes began to glow a sickening green, her voice growing deep and deafening.

“Fine, if you want to fight, then so be it.”

She began levitating, a mist forming around her. She let out a scream, transforming into a full fledged dragon. A stream of fire burst from her mouth and Roman pulled Logan out of the way.

“I’ve won a thousand times before! Don’t think that one defeat will deter me!”

Roman lunged forward, stabbing downward at her claws. Before he could hit, his ears began to ring.

“Imagine that you miss.”

The sword pulled itself from its trajectory, stabbing into the ground instead. Roman felt himself panic as he tried to pull it out.

The dragon swept out a wing, knocking Roman to the side. Logan ran over to where he fell, helping him up.

“Y-you need to get out of here.” Roman told him but Logan shook his head. “Please, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The dragon turned to them, the back of her throat beginning to glow, warning them of a fireball. Roman gasped, grabbing Logan and acting as a human shield.

“Roman, fire can’t hurt us, it’s raining!” Logan announced.

Upon hearing the words, Roman felt water stream down his face. He looked up at the grey clouds, then back down at Logan, who was grinning.

The dragon launched the fireball, which immediately fizzled out in a puff of smoke.

“How…?” Roman tilted his head, staring at Logan in disbelief.

“You have the power, Roman. This is your realm, whatever you imagine, whatever you believe, becomes real. Why do you think you never lose? Don’t let him influence you.”

Roman grinned, summoning a shield and handing it to Logan.

“Stay safe.”

He raced off, going back for his sword.

“The rain turned the dirt to mud and now my sword is free,” he mumbled to himself.

He found his sword lying in a puddle, just as he’d imagined, and turned to send Logan a thumbs up. He turned back to the dragon, letting out a shout and attacking.

He got in several blows before the voice returned.

“You’re going to slip in the mud?”

And so, with the thought in his head, he did. He fell forward, his sword flying from his hand, leaving him defenseless.

He could see Logan yelling at him, probably encouraging him to get up or warning him of an incoming attack, but his voice remained muffled.

“You’re defenseless now… It would be a shame if the dragon witch went after your friend.”

“N-no,” Roman muttered, sliding in the mud as he tried to stand. He watched as the dragon turned her attention away from him and towards Logan.

“It’s okay, Roman!” Logan assured, holding up his shield against the lumbering creature. “You’re brother is no better than a boggart from Harry Potter. Just take the awful things he says and turn them into something better. Use your imagination.”

Roman summoned a bow and arrow, refusing to stay down without a fight. He shot at the dragon, regaining her attention.

The voice of his brother laughed. “Have you ever thought about shooting Logan?”

He felt his muscles shift, the aim of his bow changing directory. He screwed his eyes shut against the thought, knowing there was no use in trying to fight against his brother. Shooting Logan…

The bow in his hand morphed into a camera and he shot a picture. He smiled at the angry shout of his brother.

He pictured himself in rain boots and suddenly the mud wasn’t too slippery. He stood, regaining his fighting stance, and going after the dragon once again.

He fought for a while longer before the voice returned.

“Imagine her eating Logan.”

Just like in the dream the dragon turned to Logan with a snarl, her teeth bared. But unlike in the dream, this time Roman knew how to fight back.

“No,” he shook his head, a wry smile on his face. “Imagine her eating with Logan.”

Suddenly the scene shifted into a fancy restaurant, the dragon witch and Logan sitting at a table, a waiter pouring them drinks.

Roman let out a laugh at the absurdity of it all and his brother appeared, his face red.

“You can’t just do that! I was in control here! I’m stronger than you, the better creativity. Thomas can’t ignore me any longer!”

“You may be different than Roman, but you are in no way better,” Logan replied as he took a bite of a breadstick. “And this is Roman’s territory too, he can control it just as well as you. Your ideas may be able to bother Thomas, but those are his thoughts. You don’t get to control Roman’s, only he does that.”

“Yeah!” Roman chimed in, crossing his arms.

Remus let out a growl, summoning a hammer. He hit Logan, who only blinked.

“This isn’t real, you know that, right?” He asked, tilting his head.

Remus glowered at him before hitting Roman, his hammer letting out a squeak. He looked down at what was now a children’s toy and threw it on the ground with a yell.

“Wonder how that happened…” Roman feigned innocence and Logan let out a snort.

“Y-you haven’t seen the last of the Duke!” Remus shouted, marching off. The dragon witch stuck out her tongue at them before following after him.

Once they were gone Roman let out a sigh of relief, slumping against the table. Logan reached out, giving his hand a squeeze.

“I’m proud of you, Roman. I know it took a lot of courage to stand up to him like that.”

“It was all thanks to you, really. How can I ever repay you for your help?”

Logan waved the notion off. “I was happy to help, really.” Then he grinned. “Although, we are already at this restaurant and I am feeling kinda hungry…”

Roman grinned, jumping into the dragon witch’s abandoned chair. He snapped his fingers and their mud soaked clothes transformed into fancy suits. The waiter appeared before them, listing the specials.

Roman looked down at the camera in his hand, which had finished developing the photo. He thought Logan would look worried in it, afraid of being shot with an arrow, or that he’d be focused on the dragon witch, but instead he was looking right at the camera, right at Roman. Roman smiled as he took in Logan’s encouraging expression, knowing that he’d meant it when he said he believed in him. Plus, that shield really suited him.

“I’m hanging this on my wall,” Roman commented, showing the picture to Logan. He could have sworn Logan’s cheeks reddened.

“I’m glad we have a photo to capture our first adventure together.”

Roman’s brows furrowed at that.

“No, this can’t be our first adventure. I go on adventures all the time. Like that time I was a sea captain with… Patton… Or that time I owned a haunted mansion with… Virgil. Oh, Logan I’m so sorry for never inviting you into my realm before.”

Logan just shrugged, looking away. “It’s quite alright, Roman. I’m sure that, given the fact that I’m logic, it could be assumed that I wouldn’t enjoy such activities.”

“I still should have asked…”

“But why would you, it’s not like we’re friends or anything. I was surprised to see you at my door, no ones ever visited me before.”

Roman felt like he’d been punched. Logan didn’t think they were friends? Of course they were friends! Even if… He’d never given an indication of such. And no one visited Logan? He thought for sure Patton and Virgil were friends with him outside of videos. He knew they did a few group things, but come to think of it, did he ever see Logan outside of that?

“Of course we’re friends!” Roman announced and Logan’s eyes widened.

“W-we are?”

“Yes!”

Logan looked happy at first but soon grew quiet. He thought for a few seconds before standing up. “Well, you haven’t been a very good friend.”

And with that, he left. Roman let out a groan, putting his head against the table. All the names he’d called Logan and times he’d ignored his interests came to mind and he felt like such an idiot.

“I have to make this up to him.”

The next day Roman knocked on Logan’s door once again. The logical side was much quicker to answer this time, his eyes full of worry.

“Roman, did something happen again?”

Roman frowned, grabbing Logan’s hand and pulling him down the hall.

“No, I’m sorry for making you believe that the only reason I’d come to you is if I needed something. We’re going on an adventure, a real one.”

When they reached the imagination Roman changed them both into space suits. They stepped forward, into a rocket ship.

Logan let out a gasp, studying the controls in awe. “Roman, you really didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to,” Roman revealed, showing Logan how to start the ship, “we’re friends after all, it’s only right that I find an adventure that caters to your interests.”

Logan grinned at him, flipping a switch and listening the countdown. They buckled in, yelling as the ship took off.

Once in space, they floated around the cabin, Logan staring out the window in fascination.

“The reason I came to you yesterday,” Roman began, believing it only fair to let him know, “is that you’re calm and collected. I trusted you’d be able to help me and know how to handle the situation. If I… If I had shown up like that at anyone else’s door there would have been a mass panic.” He let out a sigh looking away. “I was also… Scared. Of my brother. But you… You had stood up to him. I admired that. I felt safe with you.”

“Roman…” Logan pulled Roman into a hug. “I’m glad you came to me.”

Roman smiled at him. “Me too.”

The soft moment ended as quickly as it started, as alarms began to sound. Roman grinned excitedly, showing Logan how to attack the alien ship. Logan protested at first, saying they should form an alliance with the aliens.

So, after a long day, the two had ended up with quite a large army formed of different species. They also ended up a few human colonies on different planets and several trade agreements. Luckily for Roman, there were also some battles with species that refused to stand down.

Roman watched Logan’s eyes shine as he stared out at the stars and made a mental note to hang out with him more often. They were friends, after all.

(No tag list because I don't know who's seen the new video or anyone's thoughts about Remus yet)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #ts spoilers #thomas sanders #my fic #tw blood mention #tw fighting #tw intrusive thoughts #tw injury #tw food

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annelixa · 4 years

Text

Falling Apart at the Seams Chapter 27

Can also be read on AO3

Prequel I Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: After many months of attempted healing, Deceit is back and determined to fulfill his goal with his new idea. This time he’s sure it will work which could spell the end of all involved if they can’t prevent his interference in their lives but he may have help from an unfamiliar source.

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Deceit hadn’t summoned Virgil in several days which worried both Anxieties. Whatever he was planning, they were no longer in the loop. They had spent the uninterrupted time attempting to figure out what was happening behind their closed door. Dozens of ideas had been carved into the wall with forks stolen at meals. They created new ideas together and talked through old ones, determining which should be scratched out and which were viable.

‘The only way we’re going to figure this out is to break out of here and learn it ourselves.’

“And how would we do that?” Virgil asked in a tired voice, rubbing his eyes.

‘First we have to get this collar off. You have to do that because it doesn’t affect you the same way it does me.’ Virgil opened their mouth to voice his worries but Anxiety kept going. ‘I will give you all of my strength and together we should be able to remove it.’

Tingles spread through their body as Virgil felt his power surge. Reaching up, he grasped the collar and pulled into it snapped. Two pieces fell to the ground but it didn’t register to him until he heard the bang as they hit the ground.

Before he knew what he had done, the metal door keeping them locked in the room was in the same state. Dazed, Virgil stepped out and looked around the hallway.

“We-We’re out…” he whispered, unable to believe it.

‘Get going!’ Anxiety hissed urgently. ‘We can’t just stand here until Wrath catches us!’

Nodding, Virgil took off down the hall, trying to keep his steps as light as possible.

“W-Where are the others?”

Anxiety quickly relayed directions to him as they ran.

Bursting into the room, Roman jumped and Patton whimpered but Logan didn’t seem to notice their entrance.

“We found you! Step back so we can get you out!”

Roman instantly moved as far back as possible and allowed Virgil to break the lock on his cell and free him.

“It’s hopeless,” Patton muttered. “Just leave me here.”

Never should one that was the embodiment of a sunny day have their voice sound that hopeless. Concerned, Roman moved to the front of his cell and called to him soothingly.

“Pat, it’s going to be okay. It’s just this place making you think that. As soon as we’re home, you’ll feel like you used to. Things will be fine.”

Peering up, Patton peered at him before nodding. Within seconds, Patton was free and clutching Roman’s arm.

“We just need Logan.”

Virgil stepped in front of Logan’s cell but the moment he moved to free him as well, Logan started thrashing and screaming, refusing to allow Virgil to get any closer.

“Logan!” the moral Side called, worried. “Logan, you’re safe!”

Unable to hear him, the other kept yelling. Virgil decided that he wasn’t going to stop and tried to break the cell open without harming him.

However, instead of calming him down, the action seemed to further panic the logical Side and he shrieked his first words in weeks.

“Don’t get near me!”

Virgil froze where he was.

The other’s eyes were wide and kept searching for an escape wildly.

“Logan, what’s causing you such distress?”

“That…that monster is not going to touch me! I am not going to suffer again!”

“It’s just Virgil, Logan,” Patton tried to soothe.

“Virgil, Anxiety, it doesn’t matter. Both of them are monsters and neither can be trusted!”

Logan continued to yell and the other three looked at each other.

“I will handle this,” Roman announced, face set. He gently brushed Patton’s hand off his arm and approached the scholar. “I apologize for this,” he said quietly before grabbing Logan and holding him in his arms tightly. The other continued to struggle but Roman held him firmly. “Let’s go.”

“You guys head home. I have to do something first but I’ll be there soon.”

The others tried to argue but Virgil wouldn’t listen and just explained the way out.

With a last look at him, the other two dashed out of the room. Logan continued to try to free himself from Roman's grip as they ran.

Taking a deep breath, Virgil turned the other direction and walked towards Deceit’s room. He kicked open the door and stalked in.

“Deceit!”

The Side in question jumped and turned around from his seat at his desk. Confusion crossed his face before he smiled.

“Ah, Virgil! Wonderful to see you! Your work ethic is admirable but I don’t need your assistance at this moment.”

Stepping forward, Virgil glared.

“I’m done,” he declared. “I’m done helping you. I’m going home and so are the others.”

Still smiling, Deceit leaned back in his chair, regarding Virgil.

“Oh? Is that so?” he asked, laughing. “And what is to stop me from just doing this whole thing again?”

Virgil faltered at that, grin slipping a bit. Seeing that, Deceit’s own smile brightened. He desperately tried to think of something to threaten the other with but came up short.

“Good try, Virgil. Now why don’t you scurry back to your room and wait?”

“He isn’t going anywhere.”

Looking over his shoulder, they saw Roman holding a bored Remus tightly while Logan tried to remain passive next to Patton but his slight shaking gave away how frightened he still was.

“If you don’t let him go, we’ll take Remus with us.”

Deceit laughed loudly, throwing his head back.

“What? You think you can handle him? He’ll be back by the end of the day. You think any torture your pure brains could even begin to think of is something that he hasn’t tried himself for fun?”

Roman tried to think of something else to use against him.

“W-Well…well,” Patton spluttered. “Then we’ll just keep him and treat him better than you do!” Deceit kept laughing. “We’ll make sure he eats proper food and give him a room with us and be invited to activities with us and…and…and he’ll take a shower every day!”

The laughter instantly stopped.

Confused, Virgil looked around and noticed that Remus, who had seemed to be having fun before, had suddenly started trying to break out of his brother’s grip. Deceit had also gone pale and shot to his feet.

“You wouldn’t,” he seethed.

“Try us.”

Snarling, Deceit ripped Remus out of Roman’s arms and snapped at them to get out.

Not wasting any time, Virgil led the group out of the room. At the door, Roman turned and saw how Deceit had collapsed to the ground with his brother in his lap. He could see that the deceiver was whispering something to Remus while running a hand through his hair.

Noticing that he was still there, Deceit screamed, “GET OUT!”

The last thing he saw were the tears running down his brother’s face.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #deceit #deceit sanders #remus sanders

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sodamnbored · 3 years

Text

I so badly want a Roman prequel series. More than a Solangelo book. There could be so many great things in it.

Ideally, we’d get a series, basically original PJO but on the Roman side, presumably then following Jason in the same way we originally followed Percy.

But that would just be rehashing what we’ve already seen! Jason’s story would be too similar to Percy’s! - I hear you cry. But bear with me.

Yes: there would be some big similarities - following a son of one of the big three as he grows up and masters his powers and all that. And yes it would also conclude with him fighting a titan. But! I also think they’re different enough that it would read more as parallels than just copy and paste. It could be really interesting.

For one thing: Jason is starting way earlier than Percy. And I am desperate to know about the wolves thing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but all the info we have thus far is pretty vague, no? We know he went to the wolves when he was about two years old. But we don’t really know how long he stayed with them.

There’s the idea that he was raised by wolves (which don’t get me wrong I love that) and only went to the Legion when he was older - for parallels sake say about twelve. But we don’t know that’s the case for sure. He might’ve just spent the more or less normal time period with the wolves, or even if he were there longer than most - a year, two years even - he might’ve toddled off to camp still pretty young.

Cause this is another thing: we know very little about Camp Jupiter. In CHB you see for a fact that there are plenty of young demigods there, talking ten and under. Unless I’m mistaken, we never really heard mention of any little kids in the Legion right? Hazel was what, thirteen, in SoN, which is fairly young, but I don’t think there was any mention of anyone much younger than that. There was the little girl helping Terminus, but she was from New Rome not the Legion. And the Legion isn’t a summer camp of course, that’s a crucial difference.

They are quite literally an army, preparing for war should one ever arise. So do they have a minimum age requirement? Would not be unreasonable to assume they would. We know the majority of Legionaries are legacies from New Rome as opposed to actual half bloods, so it’s not unreasonable to think these kids live normal lives in New Rome until they hit a certain age and get conscripted/have the option to join the Legion for training.

If this is the case, then Jason might not’ve been with the wolves for years at all. He could’ve done his time and then been passed along to the care of New Rome. Set up somewhere to go to school and grow up and have something of a life to prepare him for his future in the Legion. That would be an interesting difference from Percy who had grown up not knowing about his heritage, for Jason to be fully aware of his godly parentage and to grow up knowing he was heading to the Legion as soon as he was old enough. I’m not sure about timings because in The Lost Hero pretty sure he’s fifteen and has twelve lines on his tattoo “for twelve years of service in the Legion” according to the wiki; but the wiki for the tattoos alone says the lines can be for years at Camp Jupiter or for completed quests and such, so it could mean he was toddling about CJ at three years old in mini Legionnaire armour like Caligula (oh the irony), or just that he crammed a crap load of cool stuff into just a few years when he was older.

So the series could quite happily start with him joining the Legion and maybe just summarise his life before that, have the important parts explained as relevant to the plot, I dunno. But it would give us more info on how Camp Jupiter actually works because personally I am clamouring for more info on the Romans.

Presuming that Jason is at least a Probatio by the time he’s about twelve (and it’d be cool to see him earn his full place in the legion too), that also means we’d get to see other people’s stories happening alongside his.

We know he fought the Trojan Sea Monster at some point, so that would be a cool quest to see play out. We don’t know a lot of other things he’s done, but we can assume he’d have been in the Legion when Reyna turned up, which would also be a really interesting story to follow.

We know from tSoM that Reyna and Hylla were on Circe’s island, when Percy was about 12/13, and it seems in SoN that he and Reyna were both around the same age, 16 or so. We know Reyna and Hylla spent some time after tSoM on Blackbeard’s ship before she made it to Camp Jupiter. So somewhere between ages 12-16, she would pop up at camp and I firmly believe she would’ve been Jason’s friend before they both became Praetors. And I would kill to see it. I wanna see them go on a quest together so badly. They would be an awesome team.

But we’d get to see Jason go through the steps, Probatio to Centurion to Praetor. We’d see him improving the Fifth Cohort’s standing in the Legion. We’d see Reyna become Praetor. (We’d ideally see Jason and Octavian gently bitch at each other like with Percy, but that’s just for me.) We’d get to see Jason and Reyna being Praetors together for a bit hopefully. That would be cool. And no doubt the series would conclude with their side of the Titan War, with Krios’ defeat - which would be so cool to see!

Being able to see more of their side of the war would also be really interesting as well. Because surely, there was more to it for them than just that one battle out of nowhere right? They must’ve been aware of the war and enlisted by the gods to help out right? Maybe there were some other titans for them to fight, maybe they had defectors too? Perhaps they were under the impression Kronos was still chopped up in little bits and Krios was running the show, either wanting to take Kronos’ place as the big cheese, or thinking the titans were working to reform Kronos, but they were kept out of Luke’s side of things so they didn’t realise that he already had been? Who knows. Certainly not me, cause we don’t have any books on it.

And there would be opportunities to have almost crossovers. Particularly regarding the war. They might just overhear things that don’t necessarily make sense to them but that we get, stuff like that. See some aftermath from one of Percy’s visits to the area. So many options.

Oh also actually, just for added angst and a different view than Percy’s, there was that freaking tragic bit in HoH I think where Jason thinks about his mother. The part about following orders and rules bothered him, but he insisted on doing so and keeping his promises because his mother had abandoned him and broken her promise. That would be an interesting aspect for the narration and his point of view because it’s the exact opposite of Percy. Percy doesn’t mind pushing the limits with the gods and exploiting loopholes or calling them on their faults, focused on surviving till the end of the day when he can go home to his mother and forget the gods and their stupid rules. Jason, on the other hand, doesn’t have anywhere to go back to. Camp Jupiter and the roles he’s given there are quite literally it for him, so even though he may resent it as much as Percy, he feels the need to bite his tongue and do everything in his power meet expectations and stay in line, etc. And yes, it’s for the benefit of others like he said in HoH, but maybe also the threat that if he makes too much trouble, where else is he gonna go and who else outside the Legion does he have?

Unfortunately we wouldn’t get to see Frank and Hazel come into it as newbies because that would’ve only happened after the war, so unlikely the series would continue after they beat Krios. But it’d still be a good set up to lead back into HoO alongside original PJO.

Also, I wanna know if Jason would’ve been particularly aware of his dad handing him off to Juno, or if she took a back seat until yoinking his memories out his head and dumping him on a dusty bus. I quite like the idea of him knowing, that she wouldn’t have been shy about popping up now and again as his patron, maybe sending him quests, offering occasional assistance like Poseidon did for Percy. Juno cared about her little champion, you can’t tell me different. I’d like to see her drop by from time to time. Or if he just accepted he was Jupiter’s and his dad basically never wanted to talk to him, and was a bit blindsided when Juno popped up after his hit on Krios.

Maybe he was just heading to bed after a long day of Titan slaying, thinking what he’d have for breakfast tomorrow and poof - Juno staring at him in his PJs, doesn’t he feel underdressed. Barely gets out an “um-?” before she’s like “got a quest for you. Surprise!”

(Since we got The Fall Of Jason Grace from Apollo in ToA, this series could be called something silly like The Rise Of Jason Grace to mirror it. I dunno.)

Either way, I need this. We deserve this. I will literally pay like 20$ per book if we could get this.

Wrote this hella sleep deprived and without sources and I’m still in ToA and haven’t read the extra books yet like demigod files and the Probatio one, so anything I’ve missed, had been answered, or is just plain wrong, let me know.

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annelixa · 4 years

Text

Falling Apart at the Seams Chapter 30

Can also be read on AO3

Prequel I Previous Chapter

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Nearly a week had passed but no matter what he did, Virgil still felt empty inside. Empty and confused. One of the last conversations he had had with Anxiety had told him so much that he didn’t know. So much that had happened before he even existed. It had left him with so many questions that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend but he knew one Side that might be able to help him.

Taking a deep breath, he focused on his destination.

“Damn it, Roman!” a voice yelled. “I said you had to warn us before you-!”

A quiet gasp cut off the end of the scolding.

In front of him stood a shocked Deceit, mouth hanging open as he tried to understand what he was seeing.

“V-Virgil…?” he asked in a hesitant voice, stepping slightly closer. His eyes searched Virgil’s face for a possible answer to his sudden appearance. “A-Are you really…?” A hard expression suddenly swept over his face and he turned away. “Never mind. I don’t care.”

With that, he turned on his heel and began to swiftly walk away from the other down a dark hallway.

“Wait! Deceit!” the anxious Side called after him, hurrying to follow. “I need to talk to you!” A dismissive scoff was his only reply as the deceiver slipped around a corner. “Please! I’m so confused! Anxiety told me all these things about his past but he faded before he could tell me everything! He said you were his friend! Can you help me?”

Virgil didn’t notice that the older Side had stopped until he ran into his back.

“Deceit? What’s-?”

“Anxiety faded?” Deceit asked in a whisper.

“Yes. About a week ago.”

The other didn’t speak for a while.

Eventually, he grabbed Virgil’s wrist and dragged him further down the hall and into a familiar room. Once the door was slammed behind them, Deceit faced the younger with a steely look in his brown eye.

“Tell me everything,” he demanded.

The anxious Side explained everything that Anxiety had told him while the other listened closely.

“And then I woke up and he was gone. And I could only feel this gaping hole inside.”

Deceit nodded slowly, a faraway look in his eye.

“That makes sense,” he murmured.

“What makes sense?”

The deceiver seemed to snap back to himself at that.

“I was always curious what had happened to Anxiety that resulted in…well…you…” He took a deep breath. “But that does sound like something he would have done.”

Moving closer to the other, Virgil begged, “Deceit. There are so many things I don’t remember that I want to know. Why did I leave here? Why can’t I remember the time that I did live here? If you took care of me, why did I feel like I hated you? I didn’t have a reason, I just did instinctually.”

Sighing, the older summoned two chairs and wearily dropped into one. He stayed silent for so long that Virgil thought he wasn’t going to get an explanation.

“Things were…complicated…when you lived with us,” he suddenly muttered. “Are you sure you want to know?” Virgil nodded, determined. “Fine.” A gloved hand was raised to rest against the arm of the chair and support his head. “As Anxiety told you, you were created shortly after Creativity’s split. Remus had only been living with us for a few months and I was attempting to adjust to taking care of a…should we say…rambunctious child. None of the others wanted to help with reigning him in but instead enjoyed provoking his energy to make more work for myself. Around this time, Anxiety started to grow distant. He spent more and more time in his own room until he was no longer even emerging for meals, so I started to deliver them to him each day with Remus.” His eyes slipped closed as he remembered.

'Thank Thomas that Del agreed to play with Remus today. I need a break,’ Deceit thought as he walked down the hall, a tray carefully balanced in his hands.

He stopped in front of the door and knocked. No answer came and he slowly pushed the door open.

“Anxiety? Are you alright?” he called as he stepped into the dark room. Looking around, he didn’t spot the other so he set the tray down on the other’s bedside table. “Anxiety? I brought you some lunch!”

A shadow moved on the other side of the room and Deceit peered at it before gasping.

The shadow was revealed to be a Side he had never seen before but was cloaked in Anxiety’s violet cloak. The other’s eyes were blank as they stared at Deceit. The lights were quickly flipped on and Deceit was inspecting the new Side.

“Who are you?” he asked quietly.

“Anxiety…” the Side replied in a hollow voice.

Deceit stared at him in shock. This scrawny Side was nothing like the hulking form of Anxiety that he knew. What had happened?

“Nice to meet you,” he replied after a moment, pushing the surprise to the back of his mind. He could deal with it later, this Side needed him now. “I am Deceit.” He gently guided the Side to the bed and helped him lay down. “I’ll take care of you but you look like you could use some rest,” he whispered as he took notice of the dark circles under his eyes. “There’s food here if you’re hungry when you wake up.” He indicated the tray. “If you need anything, just call me and I’ll be here as soon as I can, okay?”

The younger nodded and obediently closed his eyes.

Silently rising to his feet, Deceit slipped out the door and turned the lights off.

Apparently, he was going to have another charge. He knew that none of the Others would look after the new Side. Again he wondered what had happened to the previous Anxiety while he walked.

While he was lost in thought, a being crashed into him.

“DJ!” it cried and he looked down to see Remus grinning up at him.

A soft smile crossed the deceiver’s face and he ruffled the creator’s hair.

“Hello, Remus. Did you have a good time with Del?”

Remus nodded enthusiastically.

“Uh huh! We told Thomas a bunch of paradoxes until he bit his tongue in confusion!”

The older filed that away. It seemed that he would be having a talk with the delirious Side in the coming future.

“I’m glad you had fun. Have you eaten yet?”

“Nope!”

The two walked to the kitchen and a sandwich was placed in front of Remus. He dug into it eagerly, bits of food flying around the room as he decimated it.

* * *

Remus peeked around the corner where the older Sides were gathered, serious looks on their faces and whispering frantically. He couldn’t hear most of what was being said but gathered bits.

“We have to figure out where he came from!”

“He could be a danger to us all.”

“New Sides don’t get created for no reason!”

“There’s a new Side?” Remus asked curiously, head tilted until it was almost resting on his shoulder.

All three snapped to face him.

“Remus!” Deceit scolded. “What are you doing up?!”

Shrugging, the younger Side simply responded, “Nightmare.”

The deceiver pinched his nose and tried to think quickly. Remus had heard about a new Side, they couldn’t hide that from him. They could try to say they were talking metaphorically, working through that possibility but the creator would see through that in an instance. Honestly was the only option.

“Yes, Remus,” the older Side murmured. “But he needs to rest, I’ll introduce when he’s stronger.”

Jumping up and down, Remus cheered, “Yay! I’m gonna have a little brother!”

* * *

Years had passed since Remus had met Anxiety and he was obsessed. While the Side had been recovering his strength, Remus insisted on tagging along whenever Deceit visited him. The Side had developed into an almost exact opposite of the previous Anxiety. He jumped at shadows and nearly always had a terrified look on his face. Panic attacks were common and many a night Deceit found himself calming the younger down after Remus was in bed.

Despite the change, Deceit could see a sliver of his old friend underneath the new layering. He continued to try and bring the old Side out any opportunity he could but nothing worked.

Currently, the deceiver was relaxing with a book in the plush chair next to his desk. Remus was playing with Anxiety yet again so he had about 20 minutes before Anxiety would be too upset to continue whatever game Remus had cooked up this time. Just as he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, the door to his room was thrown open and Remus ran in.

Sighing, Deceit opened his eyes. His calm mood shattered when he saw tears running down the younger’s face and heard his huge, gulping sobs.

“Remus, what happened?!” he asked in an urgent voice.

“A-Anxiety,” the creator struggled to get out between gasps. “A-Anxiety is l-leaving!”

Deceit froze.

“What?!”

He sprang to his feet, summoned Warren to watch Remus, and dashed to Anxiety’s room. He barged inside without knocking and looked around desperately. But as he noticed the clothes missing from the closet, he knew he was too late.

Dropping to his knees, he allowed his own tears to fall. He had tried so hard to watch out for the other and take care of him but now he was gone.

Soft footsteps approached him.

“It’s all my fault,” Remus murmured despondently behind him.

Those words caused Deceit to spin to face the younger Side.

“No!” he snapped and Remus jumped, pulling back a little. He mentally cursed himself before adopting a softer tone. “No, Remus. It wasn’t your fault. If he left, it was his choice.”

“But I hurt him!” Remus cried, eyes welling up again. “I didn’t mean to but I did! We were playing this new version of tag I created where you use frying pans to tag each other. I tagged him and there was this loud snap and then he stormed off, holding his arm and saying he couldn’t stand being here any longer! If I was better, he wouldn’t have left like Ro-!”

Pulling the other into his arms, he rubbed his back.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he repeated in a whisper. “I promise.”

* * *

Virgil’s head spun as Deceit finished his tale.

“None of us saw you for years but when we did finally reconnect, you were acting like we were all monsters, scum, not worthy of your time. We attempted to apologize for the past but you weren’t willing to listen. We were all deeply hurt by your departure, Remus most of all. He took the blame completely onto his shoulders and withdrew from us all. He thought that if he did that, he couldn’t cause us to leave and hurt him further. It took years to undo even a shred of that idea.”

Trying to understand, Virgil asked the last question that had been on his mind.

“Why did you bring me back here the first time?”

Deceit breathed in sharply. It was clear that Virgil had hit a sore spot.

“I…I wanted to bring Anxiety back…” he admitted quietly. “I…missed him. I missed him and so did the Others. I thought that if I could bring him back, things would be better for everyone. The two of us would help Thomas together like we used to and the guilt that Remus is still carrying would finally be lifted off his shoulders.” He looked up and met Virgil’s eyes; the anxious Side could see the deep pain in them as well as a rare sincerity. “I apologize, Virgil. I made a mistake and then I repeated it, making things even worse. I understand if you want nothing to do with any of us ever again. I brought that upon us all. All I wanted was for the past to be the present and to do the best for Thomas.”

The deceiver dropped his gaze and let silence fill the room.

“I don’t hate you,” Virgil whispered. “I’m mad, furious, about what you did. You really hurt Patton and Logan in your conquest.” Deceit flinched. “However, I also could tell from the way that Anxiety talked about you that you were important to him and that you truly do want to help Thomas. I will tell you that I can’t forgive you.” The other deflated on himself. “Yet. You made mistakes like you said and I’m going to be mad about it for a while. The others will probably be angrier longer. But I will forgive you someday. I know that you regret what you did and were committing terrible acts for some rather good goals. And I know that you were doing it for Remus as well as the Others. I’m going to be mad at you for a long time but I’m also going to try to treat you all better. We’re all Thomas’ Sides and deserve the chance to help him.”

A genuine smile broke out on Deceit’s face.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #deceit #deceit sanders #remus sanders

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