bonniebelleklyde

[bonniebelleklyde]

So I know I keep abandoning this blog and popping back up with the most random of thoughts, but I just finished the last Cobra Kai season and like….I STILL think this would be perfect. I know there’s no audience for it but….may or may not make this into a new AU regardless. I just want to read it so badly…

Believe me, I know how random this is, but hear me out. I just binge watched the first two seasons of Cobra Kai and now I CANNOT stop thinking about Dukexiety warring karate dojos. Friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers. I just. I think it has SO much potential guys.

#tss #dukexiety #tss Virgil #tss Remus #cobra kai au

[bonniebelleklyde]

I'm working on a animatic that features lots of CHD representation for February and would like to include your lawyer au? Is that fine with you?

Wow, that is SO cool! Yes, absolutely fine by me! Tag me when it’s finished so I can see it 😊

#I miss the lawyer au #and this blog in general #expect to see more of me in a few weeks when work calms down #ask #yellow-sky-creations-personal

[bonniebelleklyde]

So sorry for yet another reblog rather than the next installment I promised. I had some unexpected guests this evening, and as lovely as that was, it robbed me of my writing time. Part Two is halfway done, and I’ll get back to it tomorrow. Goodnight all!

Swapped, Part One

Janus walks through the hallway in the direction of the kitchen, basking in the comfort and security that comes with wearing Roman’s face. Janus himself is not welcome in these common areas, and is particularly unwelcome in daylight hours. The term “dark side” is taken far too literally around here. But Janus happens to know that Roman is holed up in his room, writing like a madman while his inspiration is fresh. So Janus decides he isn’t harming anyone by borrowing the prince’s face for an afternoon.

He is about halfway down the hall when he nearly trips over a pair of legs stretched out in front of a figure slumped against the wall, his face turned toward the ceiling in obvious melancholy…Logan.

For all the countless lies that Janus has told over the years, he’s never actually seen a point to lying to himself. Lies to others can win him allies, achieve his goals. Lying to oneself only ever gets in the way, delays some inevitable conclusion or other.

Keep reading

[bonniebelleklyde]

Good morning all! Just reblogging this because Part Two will be up tonight. Hope you all have a lovely day!

Swapped, Part One

Janus walks through the hallway in the direction of the kitchen, basking in the comfort and security that comes with wearing Roman’s face. Janus himself is not welcome in these common areas, and is particularly unwelcome in daylight hours. The term “dark side” is taken far too literally around here. But Janus happens to know that Roman is holed up in his room, writing like a madman while his inspiration is fresh. So Janus decides he isn’t harming anyone by borrowing the prince’s face for an afternoon.

He is about halfway down the hall when he nearly trips over a pair of legs stretched out in front of a figure slumped against the wall, his face turned toward the ceiling in obvious melancholy…Logan.

For all the countless lies that Janus has told over the years, he’s never actually seen a point to lying to himself. Lies to others can win him allies, achieve his goals. Lying to oneself only ever gets in the way, delays some inevitable conclusion or other.

Keep reading

#self reblog #loceit #swapped #fic #bonniewrites #ts Logan #ts janus #angst #miscommunication

[bonniebelleklyde]

Oh my goodness another loceit shipper in the wild!!!!! How wonderful :D!!!!!!!!

PS. I'd love to be added to your loceit taglist if it's not too much trouble :D

Ohhh right back at you! We are a rare and wonderful breed. I wrote *so much* Loceit stuff about a year ago and then life stole me away, but I am so stoked to be back! And fitting that it’s right around the time of Mistletoe, the fic that started me on my original Loceit storm haha. You all are absolutely going to get another Mistletoeverse fic at some point in December.

Of course! I’m happy to add you to the Loceit tag list. Welcome aboard!

#new friends #ask #thecrowslullaby #loceit #bonnietalks #loceit taglist

[bonniebelleklyde]

Hello all! So before my Long Disappearance, I had begun a tag list, and now that I’m back, I’ve lost it. So! If you’d like to be added to my general writing tag list, please like this post. If you’d like to be added to my loceit-only tag list, drop a comment or DM me. Many thanks to you all!

#Maybe this time I will actually save this list somewhere it won’t be lost forever #bonnietalks #taglist #sanders sides fic #loceit

[bonniebelleklyde]

Swapped, Part One

Janus walks through the hallway in the direction of the kitchen, basking in the comfort and security that comes with wearing Roman’s face. Janus himself is not welcome in these common areas, and is particularly unwelcome in daylight hours. The term “dark side” is taken far too literally around here. But Janus happens to know that Roman is holed up in his room, writing like a madman while his inspiration is fresh. So Janus decides he isn’t harming anyone by borrowing the prince’s face for an afternoon.

He is about halfway down the hall when he nearly trips over a pair of legs stretched out in front of a figure slumped against the wall, his face turned toward the ceiling in obvious melancholy...Logan.

For all the countless lies that Janus has told over the years, he’s never actually seen a point to lying to himself. Lies to others can win him allies, achieve his goals. Lying to oneself only ever gets in the way, delays some inevitable conclusion or other.

So Janus has never lied to himself about Logan. He’s not sure he could if he wanted to. Images flash in his mind’s eye as they often do. The sharp grin the logical side wears when he’s sure he has won an argument— the triumphant glint in his dynamic eyes that robs the space around him of its air. The food that would mysteriously appear outside of Janus’s door— three times a day like clockwork— when he’d entered one of his sullen periods and refused to leave his room, and the deep shade of red Logan’s face had turned when he’d been caught. Logan at his most passionate, waxing poetic about the chemical compounds of soil, about the concept of speed, about Kantian theory, about anything and everything, as if rushing to get the words out before he exploded for keeping them locked in his own mind. Logan at rest, having fallen asleep in front of the fire, a book laid open on his lap. Midnight philosophical debates and midday chess games. Days that stretched into nights and again into mornings doing nothing but talking— sharing thoughts, ideas, observations, comfortable in one another’s company.

No, Janus has never lied to himself about Logan. Of course he had fallen in love with Logan. How on earth could he be expected to keep from loving a man like that?

Even now, with sadness etched into every inch of Logan’s features, Janus has the same thought he always does upon first seeing Logan—- beautiful, wonderful creature.

The thought is quickly followed by a sharp pang of concern and the desire to wipe away all that melancholy and replace it with mirth. Logan should always be smiling.

Without thinking, Janus slides down the length of the wall to sit beside Logan. He doesn’t speak, knows that Logan will if he wants to. Sure enough, he does.

“You were right, you know.” There is a hopelessness in Logan’s voice that threatens to crack Janus’s heart in two.

It is easy to talk to Logan. It has always been easy. And Janus’s reply is on the tip of his tongue— he wants to tease the other side, to say there are a great many things I’ve been right about; you’ll have to help me narrow it down. Just to make Logan smile, if only for a moment. To lift that awful shroud of sadness hanging over him. But then he remembers he is wearing Roman’s face.

Logan wants to speak to Roman about whatever it is that’s plaguing him. It’s something the two have obviously spoken about previously. Janus knows that Logan and Roman are quite close. That while Logan may be happy to speak to Janus about philosophy and science and even poetry, when it comes to things that matter, he would rather speak to Roman. That is as it should be.

But Roman has shown no intent to leave his room in the near future, and here Janus is. He decides to keep up the facade.

“About what?” he asks simply, hoping to gather enough information to help, or at least to find some way to pass it along to the real Roman later.

Logan sends him a sharp glare before returning his gaze to the ceiling. Apparently, the answer should have been obvious, likely would have been had Roman actually been here.

“About Janus.”

Every muscle in Janus’s body freezes. He stops breathing. No. No, this was a mistake. He is not meant to hear this, and he is quite sure that— whatever it is that Roman of all people was right about concerning Janus— he doesn’t want to hear it. But he’s in too deep. That has always been the risk of deception. He says nothing, waiting for Logan’s elaboration like a guilty prisoner awaiting his verdict.

“I love him.”

No. No no no no no. This isn’t possible. Logan doesn’t love him. He can’t. Janus...Janus is inherently unlovable, lucky to be tolerated, especially by someone as awe-inspiring as the despairing man sitting next to him now. And yet, there isn’t the faintest hint of a lie in Logan’s words. Not like this, Janus thinks desperately. It shouldn’t be a trick, an impersonation, a lie that leads Logan to reveal this to him. Janus has inadvertently robbed him of any choice in the matter. This is so wrong; he is so wrong.

“And he hates me.”

What? Janus is shocked out of his reverie by Logan’s words. How could Logan possibly believe that Janus hates him when Janus adores him so completely? He opens his mouth to speak but snaps it shut again. He is still wearing Roman’s face.

No. He will not continue to perpetuate the illusion. He is not going to intentionally manipulate Logan into saying anything more. Not about this. In the blink of an eye, Janus is himself again and Logan literally falls over from the shock of it.

“I’m sorry!” Janus exclaims frantically. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to— I didn’t know—“

But Logan has gotten to his feet and is no longer facing him. Logan is walking away, and this is all so wrong that Janus wants to cry.

“I don’t hate you,” he says desperately, but his voice catches in his throat and doesn’t carry. “I don’t hate you!” he tries again, a shout this time.

But Logan doesn’t turn around, doesn’t come back, doesn’t so much as acknowledge that Janus has said anything at all. Down the hall, a door slams, and Logan is gone.

“I love you,” Janus whispers.

But it is far too late for that.

#i know i know #so much angstier than my usual insufferable fluff #but remember that this is a two-parter #and I am incapable of writing an unhappy ending #part two coming soon! #loceit #ts logan #logan sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #ts roman mentioned #angst #pining #miscommunication

[bonniebelleklyde]

Janus feels exceedingly lucky that he is as skilled at the piano as he is. It has taken him years’ worth of practice to play a masterpiece like this without so much as glancing at the keys. Janus adores playing, but if he didn’t, it would have been worth all those years of diligent scales and dutiful practice just to experience this precise moment.

Because Logan is sitting at his feet in rocket ship pajamas and fuzzy slippers, his eyes closed and his head tilted at an angle that allows the sunlight to bathe his freckled face, framed by milk chocolate curls, wild now from lack of attention. A soft smile touches his lips. Three years married, and Janus has never tired— is quite certain he will never tire— of this sight. Yes, Janus is grateful for his years laboring at the piano. Because it would be a shame to miss one single second of this.

He regrets that the song he is playing has an end at all. But end it does, and Logan’s eyes fluttered open with a contented sigh.

“Lovely,” he says in that warm and quiet way of his that Janus basks in as if it were thunderous applause. “What’s that one called?”

Janus snorts with laughter— he always does. It is always delightfully amusing to discover the blind spots in his husband’s brilliant mind. It is made all the more beautiful for them. He buries a gentle hand in Logan’s unruly curls. Logan leans into the touch, and despite all their years together, Janus’s heart swells.

“It’s another famous one, isn’t it?” Logan asks, his tone pleasantly self deprecating, a smirk spreading over his lips. Janus considers coming down from the bench to kiss those lips but decides not to disturb the perfect relaxation of this moment. He’ll have a thousand opportunities to kiss Logan as they go about their day. The thought makes him smile.

“It is the famous one, dearheart,” he teases. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of Fur Elise.”

Logan’s smirk softens into a grin as he twists around to face Janus, a mocking accusation in his expression.

“You told me that I don’t like Beethoven!”

“You don’t, normally. But apparently you’ve made an exception.”

“I see. Well, I’ll have to remember the name for the next time you play it. It really is lovely.”

Janus only chuckles and tousles Logan’s hair. Logan has made that promise countless times before, and never once has he been able to keep it. Janus hopes he never does. He’s gotten quite used to reminding Logan of the names of his favorite songs. He’s gotten quite used to this. Him. Them.

Three years of marriage. Ten years together. Janus will never, ever tire of this.

#I don’t know where this came from #but I humbly offer this tooth rotting fluff my sleep deprived brain has produced #yes I wrote them at the piano again #I may be a little obsessed #Drabble #loceit #ts logan #ts janus #fluff

[bonniebelleklyde]

This is such a perfect painting of loceit my GOD. Isn’t it just wonderful how easy it is to just be my true, imperfect self with the one person I detest most in this world?

hey uh idk if you’ve answered this already lately i looked and didn’t see anything (also sorry if this not a good time to ask or if this comes off as rude or smth) but do you have any updates on the uni au? i recently remembered it again and i miss it :)

no updates, per se, as in i havent finished the one story from like forever ago because life is busy and ive been in a rut :( but here's a ficlet for you because i love them and this was a very sweet ask :)

(if you remember the fic from a looong time ago where janus is very gay for logan being unkempt, here's the inverse of that because ive wanted to write it since i wrote the first one lol)

Logan is familiar with all-nighters. Not fond, or even impartial, really, but... familiar.

He just likes to get things done, is all. Going to sleep with an assignment looming over his head, hovering all night like some academic sword above his crown (God forbid, he sounds like Roman), it makes him uneasy - there's no reason to rest first when he should be getting work out of the way. There may be some rebuke of self care in that midst, he knows. Patton certainly attests to rest over efficiency, shooing him to bed if he sees a light on too late or hears him rooting around the kitchen for a midnight study snack. Logan does take care of himself, though; he tells Patton as much. He's very adamant about getting adequate rest, just... after work. And if a night of productivity means he has to down an extra cup of coffee the next morning, bitter and sharp to shock his senses back to attention, or he has to take some naps in his car between classes, using his sweater as a pillow and ignoring the crick in his neck to follow, that's fine by him. Not fun, or favorable, but fine.

He is very much not familiar with Janus' all-nighters.

"Can you sit down like a normal person or are you just going to keep gawking at me?"

Logan isn't gawking, for the record. For his own record, when he inevitably looks back on this moment, for no reason - he is not gawking. He's just analyzing. Or scoping out- it doesn't matter what he's doing, actually, besides trying to greet his study partner, and that's not gawking.

Study-partner in question is scowling at him from the table, though, and it's a bit of a distracting circumstance upon first arrival to the library. Janus is, holistically, a bit of a distracting circumstance, given the fact that he looks like he hasn't slept in days, and reasonably, that should make him less... appealing to look at, Logan supposes that's the way to put it. But it doesn't.

Because - and this is hypothetically, now, a bit of algorithmic experimentation, mental math of sorts - reasonably, having dark circles under your eyes should be jarring, or at least concerning. They don't strike Logan as worrisome on Janus, though, not until after he realizes they draw attention to Janus' eyes, cloudy and ablaze as he glares, blue and amber as they are. It adds an edge to Janus' face, so usually smooth and relentlessly charming, untouched.

And reasonably - logically - messy hair on someone as put together, as carefully crafted as Janus should be unimpressive. He has a way of putting his waves just so; so particular is he that he won't take hats off without a mirror or a fuss, and he wholly lacks Logan's own habit of running his hands through his hair, sharp and attentive to strays and errant strands like his life depends on it. So theoretically, the way his hair sits in disarray now should grab Logan's attention as a flaw; theoretically, there should be no noticing of how it falls across his forehead in soft waves, or how some pieces stick out near his ears, like he's tried in vain to tuck them back. The caramel color seems richer under the sunroof.

And reasonably, there should be no reaction to Janus' outfit besides a smug look, or a judgmental tsk, something to keep Logan poised as self-satisfied and ultimately above him, to keep their schtick going. But the honey-colored crewneck Janus is wearing, pulled over a white turtleneck and pushed up to his elbows, is so very different than his usual outfits - there's no sharp silhouette, no crisp prints, no metallic accents for him to flash - that Logan's eyes just flit around the ensemble for a second. A very long second.

Reasonably, that should all be the end of it. A look, a thought, and he's done, processed Janus' change enough to carry on.

Unreasonably, Logan is struck still by how... endearing it all is.

Janus, in all his unusual endearing-ness, is still scowling at him. Logan snaps to some semblance of attention and clears his throat. "You look tired."

"And you look like a knock-off Professor Plum," Janus shoots back immediately, turning his scowl back to the marked pages of his book, "but no one comments on that."

Logan raises his eyebrows.

"I had a presentation for Philosophy this morning." Janus shoves a coffee cup across the table to him as he finally sits down, and Logan takes it wordlessly, equal parts stunned and placating. There's a messy, doodled heart peeking over the cardboard sleeve. "My group members didn't finish their parts, so I was up doing it for them."

Logan takes a sip of the drink as Janus talks - it's a caramel macchiato, a sugary concoction Janus made him try a few months ago after finding out he'd never had one. He seems to favor caramel. Logan's come to like it quite a bit, too, though he'd never tell Janus that. The drink is still hot.

"Did you tell your professor?" he says between measured sips.

Janus' mouth quirks into a small smile, crooked and complacent. Logan, reasonable as he is, does not get distracted and nearly spill his drink, nor does he burn his tongue in the process. Reasonably so.

"I didn't need to. They had no idea what they were presenting on. Made a fool of themselves in front of the class," he flips a page in his book, voice singsong as he scans it, "and I did swimmingly, even despite the sleep deprivation."

Logan nods, a small smile of his own creeping up. Reasonably, he pushes it down. Unreasonably, it does not work very well. "I wouldn't make that a habit, if I were you."

"Hm?" Janus glances at him again, an eyebrow raised, and gestures to his outfit. "What, you don't like the all-nighter chic?"

No, I do. Logan bites his tongue.

(He does like it, though, the soft hair and pullover and the edge in Janus' tired eyes. He likes knowing that Janus most definitely didn't go to class like this, that he was undoubtedly as put-together as usual this morning, that he didn't change until he knew he would only be seeing Logan at their table, until he'd be bickering and giving Logan coffee with a heart doodled beneath the sleeve. A foolish, unreasonable part of him likes that Janus is familiar with him, enough to be casual.)

"It's certainly a look," he says evenly, deliberately so. He knows Janus is going to throw a pen at him as soon as he says it. He leans to the side, avoids it, and knows Janus will grumble about understanding fashion and trends before they both move on to actually studying in their easy silence. He takes another sip of his coffee and, as unreasonable as it is, he is wholly endeared.

(He likes that Janus is familiar.)

#hopelessly dumb lil smarty pants #the both of them #loceit #rb

[bonniebelleklyde]

It’s been quite a while, but as we get closer to the anniversary of Mistletoe, I’m finding myself having an abundance of of Loceit thoughts....What are folks interested in? A Mistletoe sequel? A Time and Distance Chapter? Headcanons? Another prompt-fest? For me to be quiet and crawl back into my hole? Sound off!

#thomas sanders #loceit #logan sanders #ts logan #janus sanders #ts janus #mistletoe #mistletoeverse #time and distance #bonniewrites

[bonniebelleklyde]

Okay, but listening to jazz for this is actually such a wonderful way to spend my evening. Just try and tell me “ring-a-ding-ding, you’re lovely” doesn’t scream Roman. You know, I always thought of Janus more as the jazz musician but I’m really digging the Creativitwins as a musical pair. This is gonna be fun.

Hi! So... I was wondering. I had this idea of a fanfic where Remus is a musician and Roman a singer in a Jazz-club or something like that. And Janus is the manager, who brings his brother to work one day and Roman is just head over heels for him and convinces Remus to play mushy-songs to woo him. Would you maybe be interested in writing something like that? If not that’s okay, of course. It’s just that you’re my favourite fluff author so I thought I may as well ask.

Ohh this might be just what I need to get back into my writing groove. You’ve got me listening to jazz numbers for research now, anon-- stay tuned! 

#thanks to this lovely anon for the inspiration :)

[bonniebelleklyde]

Hi! So... I was wondering. I had this idea of a fanfic where Remus is a musician and Roman a singer in a Jazz-club or something like that. And Janus is the manager, who brings his brother to work one day and Roman is just head over heels for him and convinces Remus to play mushy-songs to woo him. Would you maybe be interested in writing something like that? If not that’s okay, of course. It’s just that you’re my favourite fluff author so I thought I may as well ask.

Ohh this might be just what I need to get back into my writing groove. You’ve got me listening to jazz numbers for research now, anon-- stay tuned! 

#i hope prinxiety is your jam because my brain immediately casted virgil as janus's brother #and there's gonna be some background loceit #because i truly cannot help myself #ask #anon #writing request

[bonniebelleklyde]

The amount of absolute joy I had when I was scrolling through the loceit tag to see a lawyer au where Logan has a heart condition was astronomical. I have HCM, aka Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (of the LEOPARD Syndrome type). And although I don't need annual surgeries, I am medicated for it and have restrictions (like I can't play any contact sports, I can only do a sport in general if it doesn't over exert my heart because I have a risk of it worsening because of it, etc.). (1 of ??)

I also need to go to my cardiologist on a yearly basis and I'm getting a referral to an even more specialized cardiologist who has dealt with my case before. I have to have like, an every other year holter monitor set up (usually 24 hours but last year, I wanted to educate my classmates on them and so he set it for 48 hours) and it can be a pain trying to make sure new meds won't effect the heart much and all that. Love that I just found an absolutely amazing au. Thank you for doing this (2/2)

Ahh yay another member of the heart warrior club! I’m so, so glad you stumbled across the lawyer au and that my giving Logan his heart condition brought you any kind of happiness. 

I’ve just seen severe heart conditions represented so rarely, and where I have seen them, it’s monopolized their entire character, which is just so invalidating. A lot of Logan’s experiences of CHD in the AU are me projecting my own experiences, and I don’t pretend to speak for all folks with heart conditions by any means, but I felt very strongly about putting it out there that, hey-- yes, these conditions are tough to deal with; no, it doesn’t prevent us from living full lives within our physical limitations. I think when I was younger, trying to wrap my head around what CHD meant for my life, I would’ve loved to see a character who owned their career and had a fulfilling life and also happened to have a heart condition. 

I would love to shed some more light on living with heart conditions generally through this AU, so if anyone at all has any questions about Logan’s experiences with his health issues and/or how that all fits into his life at large, please feel free to send them my way! And I’d love to hear from those of you who have experiences with various heart conditions yourselves! It’s so rare to meet other folks with similar health circumstances to my own, so that you guys are finding me through the AU is so wonderful :)

#tw heart condition #tw real life illness #tw surgery #tw hospitals #ask #lawyer au #logan sanders #chd #heart warriors #this-blog-is-my-trash-blog

[bonniebelleklyde]

Just popping in to say thank you to everyone checking in— I’ve said it before and I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face; you guys are simply the best. I’ve been better but I’ve also been worse, and I’m very much still kicking! I’ve learned to live my life reveling in the bright spots scattered in the darkness, and each one of you who has interacted with me here even in the slightest of ways is one of those bright spots. Thank you. ❤️

Hope to get back to writing for you all and chatting with you soon. It’s made me smile to think I’ve been in your thoughts. Lots of love to you all!

#tw real life illness #bonnietalks #not sanders sides

[bonniebelleklyde]

I am a fellow heart warrior!!

I don't have the same heart condition that Logan (and you?) have. But I do have one!!!

I have an atrial septal defect (ASD) which is a really fancy way to say I have a hole between the two chambers of the heart. It doesn't really require surgeries for it, well... There is.. But that's only if I overwork it and the hole tears open. Then they have to seal it, but that has a high chance of complications.

I don't have this surgery, but I do go in for yearly heart checkups (which are the WORST. They put these annoying sticky pads on for 24 hours, and they are SO ANNOYING!!! Imagine looking like a bloody robot with 50 different wires on you-)

But because my heart will tear with over activity, I can't do things like P.E. (so no running. No sports. Yadda yadda yadda) and I also can't control my temperature very well, so I'm almost constantly freezing cold or at risk for heatstroke..

But like. I don't require yearly surgeries (that honestly sounds terrifying) I have had some really close calls where they thought my heart teared, but like...

heart warrior buddies?

(I've never met another person with a heart condition oml)

Oh this is so cool! Heart warrior buddies for sure! And yes, Logan does have my specific condition. I feel like he’d share a lot of my own frustrations with it haha.

And man oh man can I relate to the awfulness of the annual cardiology check-up. Do you get 24 hour EKGs? God, that must drive you crazy. I have to watch my activity level, too, so if you ever need to vent your frustrations, I’m your girl! Bothered the hell out of me when I was younger, got used to it over time. Ditto with the surgeries. I just got through with one and I’m more bored than anything else!

The cold, though, I never got used to. I’m constantly covered in blankets clutching a mug of coffee like it’s sub-zero temperatures haha.

I’ll stop rambling about heart stuff, but it’s so great to connect with another heart warrior 😊

#ask #imma-potatoo #chd #tw heart condition #tw surgeries #tw hospitals #heart warriors

[bonniebelleklyde]

So in the lawyer au, Logan has a heart condition?

Any specific one?

Totally not asking for projecting purposes. Not at all. Why would you think that?

Oh hey, fellow heart warrior maybe?? Either way, thanks for the question!

Logan has Congenital Heart Disease (CHD). There are lots of different kinds, so specifically he has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which affects chiefly his heart but one of his lungs as well. At a little over one year old, he had the Fontan procedure done if that means anything to you. This is totally unrelated to my desire to project onto Logan...obviously.

His most noticeable issue has to do with circulation, I.e. parts of his body turn blue when he’s cold or when he physically overexerts himself. It can also be difficult for him to put and keep on weight— both fat and muscle are tricky. There are plenty more complications, but those are the ones that tend to be immediately apparent to other people.

He gets a diagnostic cath done every few years and normal needs some sort of intervention at that point. He sees his cardiologist regularly on top of his primary care physician. He can always tell when he’s dealing with a new nurse because the oxygen levels that are totally normal for him are very, very low for someone without CHD, and a nurse who doesn’t know him will take his stats and try to conceal their terror. Logan always picks up the cues and has learned to be mildly amused by this.

Don’t wanna bore you with CHD fact overload haha but those are the basics!

#loceit #lawyer au #logan sanders #chd #tw heart condition #tw surgery #tw weight mention #ask #imma potatoo

[bonniebelleklyde]

Does Roman know about Logan's heart condition?

Yes! It’s definitely not something you can hide from a person you live with, even if you wanted to. And as self-sufficient as Logan is, he does occasionally need someone to give him a ride to or from the hospital/PCP/cardiologist/etc. For essentially his entire adult life, that someone has been Roman.

Roman is awesome about it. They know each other so well at this point, that Roman can always tell when Logan needs to talk about what’s happening, and when he needs to pretend that nothing is happening at all. He’s good about boundaries, but he’s also good at nudging him toward better self care. Logan knows his physical needs well by now, but he can sometimes get so involved in his work that he would forget to take his meds or to eat enough, or sometimes even to notice when he’s exhibiting a symptom that he really should be calling his doctor about. This forgetfulness doesn’t happen all that often, but when it does, Roman’s there more often than not to push him. For the most part, though, Logan really can take care of himself. Something he is eventually very vocal about with Janus.

While we’re on the topic of “who knows,” the list is very small. Roman knows because he’s Logan’s best friend and because they live together. Patton knows because he’s Logan’s boss and needs to know why Logan may have to work remotely some days or take time off for surgeries. Remus knows, not because Patton told him, but because Remus is actually incredibly observant and just picked it up from context clues. Logan has no idea that Remus knows, however, and Remus isn’t about to bring it up with him. As discussed in my previous post, Janus eventually does find out. Virgil ends up being the last to know. Absolutely no one else in the office has any idea.

#loceit #lawyer au #tw heart condition #tw hospitals #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders