#we never got explanation of this scene or official photos if it was only a promoshoot and I wonder why

[whateveryeah]

💭🌚🌝

#house of the dragon #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon x rhaenyra #daemyra #otp <3 #matt smith #emma d’arcy #we never got explanation of this scene or official photos if it was only a promoshoot and I wonder why

[morehotch]

[7:23 AM]

aaron x gn + bau! reader, reader taking care of sick aaron

you knew when jack caught a stomach bug from school last week that inevitably either you or aaron would get sick afterwards. but you were especially worried about aaron; he already rarely lets himself rest or slow down. he's stubborn and even though you both saw his early symptoms of fatigue and headaches, aaron ignored it and pushed through for a few days as you both focused on taking care of jack.

but this morning, when he wakes up groggy and sweaty after being restless all night and it’s official; your incredibly lovely but intense and determined and dedicated husband was sick.

you thought it went without saying aaron now needed- deserved, some old fashioned tlc and chicken noodle soup. but you should’ve known better, you walk into the bathroom and catch aaron attempting to button up his white collared shirt, turning to look for a tie, trying to get ready for work.

he looks pale and the dark circles under his eyes make you walk quickly into the closet, standing between him and his impressively large tie collection.

"no," you say sternly, still with a small pout.

"honey," aaron says weakly with a sigh and you shake your head, now equally determined as your husband.

"honey," you repeat, “please, you're sick. you need to take care of yourself."

as expected, aaron looks incredibly unconvinced as you cross your arms over your chest, "you would never let me go into work like this, why can't you give yourself the same care and compassion?" you run a hand up and down his arm, hating how warm his skin felt.

he frowns, eyebrows furrowed like he's trying to think of a rebuttal but you continue, “i'll take jack to school and call the team. we both can stay home.”

aaron’s frown only deepens, “no, no don't stay home because of me."

"you would do the same for me,” you argue, knowing aaron would immediately call out of work at the slightest aliment you faced; proven by a few months ago when you sprained your ankle and aaron insisted on you propping your leg up in bed and waiting on you, tenderly nursing your not very injured leg back to health.

you smile at the memory as you hear the soft footsteps of jack. "daddy," he calls, wandering into your room, poking his head into the bathroom.

aaron smiles immediately at the site of his son in his adorable dinosaur pajamas- his recent obsession and your most recent purchase. jack finally felt better after a few days of you, aaron, and jess took turns to care for him.

"i'm sorry i got you sick," he mumbles sadly, struggling to wrap his arms gently around aaron's legs.

he looks down, running a hand gently through jack’s bed head, "oh buddy, this isn't your fault.“

“the mean stomach bug just found a way into our house, but we're going to get rid of him,” you promise and jack giggles at your explanation before running off to get ready for school, excited with your promise of discussing dinosaurs with you in the car on the way there.

by now, aaron seems to have accepted his not so bad fate of being taken care of by you today as he slowly unbuttons his collared shirt, turning to find a simple t-shirt.

“can we at least video conference in at some point?” he sighs and you laugh knowingly, considering aaron, you decide that's a pretty good comrpomise.

“deal,” you smile, coming into the closet, hugging him from behind and kissing his bare shoulder gently. “go back to bed,” you murmur, “i’ll be back soon.”

when you come back from dropping jack off, you find case files perched precariously on his nightstand and aaron back in his pajamas, flipping through crime scene photos for your current case.

you place your sick day essentials on your nightstand; a bottle of gatorade, mutiple medicines, and a thermometer- that when you run it over aaron's forehead, reads a considerably high fever.

"no crime scene photos allowed when you have a fever, new house rule," you smile at aaron’s small pout, trading the gruesome photos for some tylenol.

you settle back into bed with him after calling penelope and explaining the situation, passing the phone over and letting aaron weakly give an agenda for today.

you kiss his forehead, running your hand through his hair that's getting a little longer- to your own secret excitement. you get comfortable, and instead of settling in your usual spot with your back against your chest; you pull aaron gently into your own, throwing an arm across his waist, rubbing up and down soothingly.

"you're gonna get sick," he murmurs but you smile into the crook of his neck. "worth it,” you whisper, “i love taking care of you.”

after lunch, he finally falls asleep as you hold him loosely, finally looking relaxed and peaceful.

when you have to leave to get jack from school and he’s still sleeping, you decide to let him sleep and not wake him up. aaron rarely gets enough sleep, ever. you think he definitely deserves this.

however, that means the afternoon video conference that aaron mentioned to an unconvinced penelope doesn’t happen.

but aaron doesn’t wake up mad, blinking as he discovers jack nestled in his side, grinning when he realizes his dad is awake, thrusting a bright get well card he made at school today into his hands.

aaron handles it with such care as he turns to look for you, smiling when you walk into your bedroom.

“sorry i didn’t wake you up for that afternoon meeting, you looked so comfortable,” you explain sheepishly and aaron only shrugs, tugging a giggling jack into his arms.

“oh yeah, don’t worry honey, i didn’t feel up to that anyway,” he smiles and you can’t help your immediate grin as aaron continues with so much sincerity that even after so many years together he still makes your cheeks flush, “thanks for encouraging me today, thank you for being you, baby.”

#aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner fic

[abigail-nicole]

tgcf live read, part 5

in which the author moves her live-tweet of Heaven Official's Blessing, Tian Guan Ci Fu, all-around perfect novel and joy to everyone who reads it, from twitter (beta, qi rong, ruined by cryptobros and billionaires) to tumblr (alpha, hua cheng, shitposting for 10+ years and chaotic neutral). please buy officially licensed Heaven Official's Blessing translations from Seven Seas, enjoy the beautiful official donghua while we can get any smidge of gay representation out of mainland China, and enjoy!

initially live-tweeted 3/29/2020:

oh my god there’s a pregnancy episode. You know I’ve never counseled any of my patients on the grudge that could be left by an aborted fetus

Xie Lian faking pregnancy Im here for this

Oh!!!!! This is great!!!!!

Xie Lian has a ghost baby who’s waiting for him to transition & get pregnant CLEARLY THE ONLY EXPLANATION

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

I cannot wait to see the art for this??? It’s gonna be Exquisite

UNEXPECTED!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH SCREAMING SO LOUD I STARTLED THE CAT

Wasnt chapter 95 of mdzs ALSO A KISS CHAPTER

*incoherent noises* jgk fed gjbcgjkjfdhioollllojhghsadfsdff

(archivist note: my favorite fan cosplay photo art of this moment)

Oh my god xie lian REACTS SO POORLY WHAT A DUMBASS

The ghosts offering to help Hua Cheng rape someone is NOT funny but it made me laugh out loud

well now this is just

I’m gonna start counseling my pts on the spiritual strength of their fetuses. The strongest is clearly that lady who got shot in the uterus at 14 wks and made it to 28 weeks

Obstetric cultivation is my jam y’all

THEY'RE JUST HANGING OUT TOGETHER! BORROWING CLOTHES FROM EACH OTHER!! SOFT BOYFRIENDS!!!

Hua Cheng: i can cook for you

Xie Lian: no, let’s go out to eat

Hua Cheng: ......... you asked for this

oh to be Hua Cheng, smiling, watching your boyfriend eat

Xie “I JUST TELL THEM I’M IMPOTENT TO GET WOMEN TO LEAVE ME ALONE IM REALLY JUST GAY” Lian

Hua Cheng here like (smirking emoji x3)

Oh my god boyfriend calligraphy lessons SOFT...!!! SOFT!!!

I vehemently disagree with this “this father has to be included in the ghost fetus rights” case but that’s my own business

everyone: why the FUCK do you have this sword oh my god

The last time we saw e’ming it was shaking in sadness that it had hurt Xie Lian and I’ve cried in my heart every second from then until now

MY TWO FAVORITE WEAPONS ARE FIGHTING????? NO THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!! RUOYE & EMING OTP

YES PET THE SWORD ITS A GOOD SWORD GOOD SWORD

every time they hang out im just like......yes....pure oxygen, clean water, pollution disappearing from this earth....

Yes e’ming ruoye weapon pet otp

Oh my god this Which Weapon Pet Will Help More With Cooking is Exactly what my soul needs in these trying times.... I’m so blessed.....

Xie Lian - Wei Wuxian - being terrible at cooking

this is COMEDY GOLD

Hua Cheng: *doing dishes*

Shi Qingxuan: WHAT THE FUCK

Qi Rong: IM A FIERCE GHOST TOOOOOOOOO

Xie Lian: *hiding*

This is the best dinner party

This is the best fucking dinner party scene in any book I have ever read

Honestly the book could end right here. This scene is the Blessing in the title Heaven Official's Blessing

Shi Qingxuan is gonna go back & tell everyone they ate dinner with Hua Cheng and No One is gonna believe it

Poor Shi Qingxuan Lolololol

Awwwww theyre finally exchanging phone numbers!!!! also lol @ xie lian’s little joke here

can’t wait for the scene where they start flirting via communications array & shi qingxuan is staring back and forth at them & shouting at ming yi WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE RIGHT HERE WHAT ARE THEY DOING GET A GODDAMN ROOM

ugh I’m so happy to stop on this note & look forward to reading tomorrow & not having to pick up in the middle of Tragedy Book 2 (& apoarently also Tragedy Book 4). In conclusion Hualian is the Real Official Blessing We Made Along The Way

OMG I SAID THIS SCENE WOULD HAPPEN also i cant wait to find out hua cheng’s password (narrator voice: she would be disappointed)

Shi Qingxuan: i made them strip but oh god he just admitted he likes xie lian NOW its weird

Hahaha just wait till this is a sex thing (smirk emoji)

I also get bored and play dress up in the middle of hostage recovery

to be continued in part 6!

#tgcf #tgcf liveread

[insomniacowl]

Neon genesis Evangelion Analysis Chapter 23: Katsuragi Misato Part 2 Dear Shinji, this is my will.

Misato: So you don't want to meet your dad?

Just like me

Let us start from the beginning. The scene in the first episode where Misato drives down to meet Shinji. Her first words to him were, "Sorry, I made you wait." This, I believe, is the first of many times their interactions will revolve around the theme of "Waiting." The line also contrasts with her final words to Shinji, "Let's continue when you get back."

Her cross is first brought to our attention through Shinji's eyes as Misato shields him from the blast of explosions from the Self-defense force's missiles used against Sakiel. Then, on their way to NERV, Shinji confides to her about his feelings towards Gendou. Misato empathizes, saying, "You're just like me," pointing to their commonalities.

She later consoles Shinji as he refuses to pilot Eva-01 and tells him to "Not run away from himself." At this point, she was already seeing herself reflected in Shinji, and those words were meant for herself as well.

After this point, Misato constantly finds herself reflected on Shinji. While it has a positive influence, like in episode 1, it also frequently caused Shinji to hurt. One criticism viewers lay on Misato is the sarcastic tone she sometimes takes when talking to Shinji about his actions. "You don't want to pilot the Eva? With that kind of determination…. What a pain!", Is one of the harsh words directed at Shinji. Even in episode 12, her cold reaction to Shinji's contemplation regarding Asuka is also, in its own way, infamous.

Yet, if we consider that she sees a lot of herself in Shinji, those lines come to represent her self-contempt rather than how she sees the fourteen-year-old. Misato was not really in the position to take care of teenagers if we consider her character flaws.

While such actions are worthy of criticism, there is room to empathize considering the traumas she had to endure, which has shaped the kind of "Adult" she became. As a young child, she was in the center of the Second Impact, and the psychological impact has led to her being mute for a few years. However, she seemed to have eventually recovered. Perhaps to compensate, we are told that she became an overly happy and talkative person. On top of this, she has studied hard and become a student at the Second-Tokyo city University. She met and began living with Kaji in the year 2005, at the age of twenty. According to Ritsuko, she even had a week-long sex marathon with Kaji, where neither of them left the house during the period.

To elaborate on her constant need for physical pleasure, we can start from the glimpse of her inner monologue we get during the instrumentality. We learn that it was one of the few things she had control over that made her feel alive when she was intimate with Kaji. Yet she breaks up with him because She saw a glimpse of her father reflected in him, although that was what got her attracted to him in the first place.

What are you embarrassed about? You wanted the man you love to see you for who you were. NO!

I wonder about that. You wanted your father to see you for who you were. That's not true!

We can identify Misato as struggling with Electra Complex (Oedipus Complex for girls) regarding how she views her father. She then attempted to quench the thirst for affection her father failed to provide her from a different man who felt similar to him. This can be observed through Kaji and Shinji. Two people sharing the same character flaws as her father (Workaholic and being bad at human interaction) being the two people she opened herself up to (Mentally, emotionally, and sexually). Misato was hoping to compensate for the loss she suffered and recover from her past trauma using her relationship with these two.

Consciously or unconsciously, she likely understood this side of herself. She felt disgusted by herself, leading to her breaking up with Kaji while punishing and labeling herself as someone "Undeserving to love." While her relationship with Kaji was open and overtly described in the series, some of you might wonder how Shinji is involved in this process. Especially regarding the sexual aspect of this analysis.

We can definitively say that Misato and Shinji do not share a simple Guardianship relation. But the discussion about Misato and Shinji can wait for now. First, let us discuss Hyuga Makoto.

Hyuga is seen approaching Misato as more than just a direct superior at work (Especially after Kaji's death). "Only if it's with you (I don't mind dying from the base self-destructing)." It is a telling line that highlights Hyuga's feelings that he begins acting on in the latter part of the series. Turning him into a more dimensional character. While Misato seems to be aware of such advances, we never see her acting on it. Neither accepting nor rejecting him outright. Since this is at the low point of her emotional journey, Misato would have been okay with anyone. Thus, it makes us wonder if there could have been more intimacy between the two off-screen. I'd argue that Hyuga died a virgin (or at least that there was no sexual relationship between the two) based on Hyuga's fantasy during the instrumentality.

To bring our discussion back to Kaji, we are shown that he was the first man she trusted and gave her first intimacy to. At the same time, she was someone Kaji was able to trust and be vulnerable with. We never see either of them refer to each other by their names. While the reason is not depicted, we can make an educated guess and say that it stems from their determination to interact professionally. Without letting their (embarrassing) past hinder their work.

But perhaps it was destined that this guise was not meant to be. In episode 15, we see the two confide in each other. Misato laments about her father and her regret of not being a good lover for Kaji. Kaji embraces and accepts her of it. The last time they ever shared a bed, Kaji gives her his final present. His death led to Misato shedding many tears, but the present helped guide her to her next step. Before this point, we see her constantly drinking her favorite beer, but never after this event. All we see her drink from then on is canned coffee, Kaji's favorite drink. And now, two peoples' worth of "Will" lived on inside her. One from her father, the other from Kaji.

Now, let's discuss the last "Male" in her life: Shinji. As mentioned earlier, Shinji was more than just a child under her care. Shinji's first introduction of Misato was through her photo that she sent him. It is a revealing photo of herself with arrows drawing attention to her breast. As a side note, the actual words in this image were written by Anno himself, and the lipstick mark was from one of the female Gainax staff.

From the photo, we can see that Misato wants Shinji to see her as more than a potential caretaker (as ethically should), but as someone of opposite gender and a "potential" love interest. Although, of course, we can brush it aside as a part of her quirky and fun-loving attitude. But the problem arises in the latter part of the series where this attitude crosses the line. The suspicion is confirmed in the official pamphlet's character introduction describing her as Shinji's family + co-worker + superior + "lover."

Misato: Shinji, I'm going in. This is about all I can do for you right now.

Shinji: No!

The scene central to this discussion happens in episode 23 when she takes her seat next to Shinji, who is grieving the death of Second Rei on his bed. Although surface-level reading is, Misato wants to hold his hands to comfort him. If that is the case, the line "This is all I can do for you right now" is unnecessary. And not only that, but Shinji's rejection of this advance is also too strong to justify the conclusion of the surface level analysis. If anything comes to mind about an act that two grown-up adults do on the bed is "Sex."

Even if we try to give the benefit of the doubt and stay at the surface-level conclusion that is psychologically comfortable, this is Evangelion. It refuses psychological comfort. The film book released by Gainax has a note about this scene that says, "Misato is attempting to give Shinji her body." This is even alluded to in the shot right before the line, the head of the chair being where Shinji's Penis would be, and Misato coming to sit right on top of it.

Throughout the series, both Misato and Asuka approach Shinji as the "Other sex." it's natural for Asuka since they are the same age. However, it is unnatural to think of Misato (Who is twice his age) approaching Shinji sexually (neither should be accepted). So let's dive into how Misato might think about that. As early as episode 2, we are shown Misato yelling at Ritsuko through the phone, saying, "There is no way I will lay my hands on a boy!". This is perhaps foreshadowing what she will be doing in the later part of the series. So what changed in her throughout the series that she would end up trying to lay her hands on Shinji sexually. Did she genuinely believe that it was the only way she can console Shinji? Or perhaps there was a more selfish reason, to distract herself from the sadness of losing Kaji? Well, it could be both. There is a middle ground and an explanation that I prefer. Kaji was the only man she allowed herself to be vulnerable with. Because the best means of communication between the two have been sexual, she most likely believed this to be the most effective way to empathize and be vulnerable with Shinji.

We can see this as another manifestation of her Electra complex if we consider that Shinji also reminds her of her father.

As many of you are aware, Evangelion borrows concepts from psychology and is strongly influenced by Freudian psychoanalysis. Psychological terms are heavily used, especially in later episodes. The characters' internal conflicts are put into the spotlight in episodes 18, 19, and 20. All these episodes use terms from psychoanalysis for their title. Let me touch on each of them briefly over here. Episode 18's title is "Ambivalence." It refers to the coexistence of two conflicting emotions (Love and hate) regarding something and was coined by Eugen Bleuler in 1911. Freud borrowed this term in his analysis. His followers believed it to be an essential state that leads to the sadistic sub-phase of development. Episode 18 is also when the dummy-controlled Eva Unit-01 destroys Bardiel. Thus the title can also help us understand the Destrudo-led sadistic destruction of the dummy program.

Episode 19's title is "Introjection" and was a term heavily used by Freud. It is the unconscious adoption of the ideas or attitudes of others and a psychological defensive mechanism used by the ego to minimize anxiety. Almost every human being goes through this phase and is a part of healthy development as an individual. Episode 19 is when Shinji emits a strong dose of Destrudo and achieves a 400% synchronization rate. Here, we can try to explain the use of this term for the episode title in two ways. The first is to refer to the synchronization process of the pilot and the Evangelion. Secondly (and more specifically to the episode), to refer to Shinji becoming an individual that has become a part of Unit-01. Becoming a part of Unit-01 who have just absorbed the S2 engine and become as though god.

Last is episode 20, titled "Oral stage," and is the stage central to Freud's theory of Libido's development. Libido is the potential sexual energy, and Freud categorized the development into four distinct stages, starting with the oral stage. During this stage of development, the child clings onto its mother's breast for nourishment. This is also when the child begins to develop the ability to distinguish between themselves and the other. The significant happening of episode 20 is salvaging Shinji from Unit-01's Core, trying to bring Shinji back as an individual and away from the comfort of his mother. This can be seen to parallel the child leaving its mother's womb and coming to be born into its own person. And to add, they had to inject Libido into the Core to salvage him.

To return from our long detour, Evangelion is a series that heavily draws its conceptual inspiration from Psychology and Freudian psychoanalysis. What Freud posits, and perhaps most central to his scholarship, understands that desires created by both Libido and Destrudo, any forms of mental energy are irresistible and irrepressible. That is to say, if during one's development if any of such mental energies' expressions are disturbed and blocked off, it will results in the development of harmful coping mechanisms as an adult. In the case of Misato, her father's absence resulted in the absence of ways to healthily release her Libido. Therefore, Misato's inappropriate advance towards Shinji could manifested the harmful coping mechanism she developed as a child.

Losing her father as a child resulted in dysregulation in Libido. Losing Kaji, the only person she truly loved, left Masato broken. At this point, she had no other way to release her desires other than laying hands on a vulnerable child. When both Shinji and Penpen refused her the physical affection she needed, she could only find comfort in listening to Kaji's final voice message in repeat. Yet, she did not lose all possibility to recover. She was able to dry out her tears and began to follow the road her father once took. This leads her to analyze the evidence Kaji passes onto her and begins questioning the truth behind Rei. By the end, she manages to reach close enough to understand the "Truth." This is how she was able to explain to Shinji what was going on. She also experiences character growth through this process, becoming able to fully understand and empathize with the pain of others.

This is also when we see her starting to differ from Asuka. While both lost Kaji, whom they both loved, Misato comes to accept this loss and can carry herself as an adult. By the end, she was mature enough to send the grieving Shinji to Unit-01 during the End of Evangelion. While Misato has always convinced Shinji to get on the Eva, now, she was different from the past. Unlike in episode 4, where she emotionally manipulated Shinji into piloting Eva. Unlike episode 12, where she drew a hard line and coldly forced him. In EOE, she was no longer forcing Shinji out of her own hatred of the angels. All there was, was a grown adult's desire to convince a child that "Life is worth living." Even if she were to die during this process. All there was, was Misato's advice as an adult to the crying child. And it was this "will to live" that was passed on from Misato to Shinji.

Misato places her necklace on Shinji's hands and wraps his hands around it. Just as how she once held onto it while facing death in its face. Her father's memento. The love towards one's family. Hope for humanity. And all else that the cross symbolized. And the cross passed on from Misato to Shinji like the passing of the torch. To pass on the will to live. This was followed by a grown-up's kiss, just like how Kaji showed her, the perfect way to, perhaps the only way to fully communicate this will and pass it on. To want the other to continue living and hoping to live on as a part of their memory.

With the kiss, Misato stopped pretending to be Shinji's inept guardian.

She sent Shinji off, hoping that he could become a grown-up who can stand by himself.

Misato: You will be alone from this point on. You need to choose for yourself.

Shinji: No. I can't.

Misato: Crying isn't going to solve anything, either!

Misato: You hate yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others. Deep down, you know that you suffer more when you cause someone else pain than if you just let yourself get hurt. But Shinji, that was your decision, so that makes it a valid choice. That's what you wanted, so that makes it worthwhile, Stop lying to yourself, and realize that you do have options. Then accept the choices that you made.

Shinji: But you're not me. You don't understand!

Misato: So what if I'm not you?! That doesn't mean it's okay for you to give up! If you do, I'll NEVER forgive you as long as I live.

Misato: I'm not perfect either. I've made tons of stupid mistakes, and later, I regretted them. And I've done it over and over again. A cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time, I learned something about myself.

Please, Shinji. You've got to pilot Eva and settle this once and for all. Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all.

And when you've found your answers, come back to me. Promise me. See you soon.

Kaji: Go and do what you can. No one will force that choice on you. Think for yourself and decide for yourself. GO and do what you must right now. So that you don't live to regret it.

Misato: If I had known it would end like this, I would have changed the carpet as Asuka suggested.

Many discussions about Eva centered around her last words, the one about the Carpet and Asuka. Most of the theories have interpreted it with the spilled coffee during the instrumentality scene. I'll touch on the scenes shown in instrumentality in future chapters. But for the discussion here, note that the coffee was not spilled on the carpet during the instrumentality scenes. So I'd instead interpret this line separately from it. Personally, I believe this to be Misato, as an adult, regretting not being as kind and compassionate as she could have been to Asuka.

Unlike Shinji, who she managed to pass on her will and true feelings, she did not have that privilege with Asuka. Instead, she wallowed in her sadness, not looking out for Asuka, who was herself suffering from traumas and grief. The regret of not being a good guardian and not making the home comfortable for Asuka would have hit her as waves of regret crashed in as she laid bleeding cold on the floor of section R-20.

After Shinji, who she just sent off, Asuka, who she feels sorry for, After Penpen, who was always there for her, Kaji now crosses her mind. Was she waiting for his praise for passing on his will to Shinji?

As though she can see him, she stares at the sky. Right before the explosion, we see Rei standing over her. Perhaps it was Lilith who traveled through time.

And we come to the final scene of the EoE. Shinji and Asuka are lying down on the shore, staring at the sky. At this moment, we are reminded of Misato through the cross, now nailed to a wooden post. The cross has come to symbolize Misato's hope and dreams for the two children who will now be growing up into two adults. Will Misato be able to revert back to her human form by her soul desiring it? Nobody knows. But I don't think that matters. Because now, Shinji carries on her will.

Let's continue when you get back.

I'm back. Welcome back.

Welcome Shinji, this is your new home.

I'm back.

Welcome back!

Sorry, made you wait!

TBC Chapter 24: Ritsuko Part 1 Mother and Daughter

#Neon genesis evangelion #Evangelion #Eva #End of Evangelion #Nge #Nagisa Kaworu #Lilith #Sci-fi #Ikari Shinji #Soryu Asuka Langley #Asuka #Ayanami Rei #rei #Anno Hideaki #Katsuragi Misato #Kaji Ryoji #Anime #Analysis #Review

[lils-writes-stuff]

Self-fulfilling Prophecy

spencer reid x reader

Best Years Part two | Part one

summary: As the team investigates the mass suicides at Somerville academy, the tensions between the reader and Spencer rise. Ad the reader gets a note from a past memory. 

Warnings: normal Criminal minds things, more slow build up. 

A/N: based on season 7 episode 9 of criminal minds.  

  Y/N sat in her swivel chair at her desk, blue pen in her hand lightly tapping as she was deep in thought. All different kinds of emotions hitting her brain as she tried to put them all together, not knowing if it was something she should worry about or push aside. Her thoughts were soon broken by the smell of a fresh cup of coffee filling her senses. She turned and looked at a smiling Dr. Spencer Reid holding out her mug to her. 

   “You are the best Spence, thank you.” She smiled at him while she took the mug from his large hand. 

   “No problem, really,” he responded with a small smile, leaning himself against the edge of her desk. “You seem like something’s bothering you, what’s up?” 

   His question made her stop. To be honest she didn’t really know what was wrong. One thing she did know was that she was developing feelings for the good doctor in front of her. Other than that, she didn’t know. 

   He watched her pause. Thinking he crossed a line he began to get flustered. 

   “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-I mean,” he stumbled over his words. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he explained.

   She looked up at him shaking her head, “No, no you didn’t.” She reassured him before she paused again trying to think of how to explain her feelings. “I’m not really sure if I’m being honest with you Spence,” she said, placing her mug down on her desk before she crossed her arms. 

   A security thing, Spencer thought as he watched her fold her arms across her chest and lean forward. 

   “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, not really knowing how to respond. Well, he knew how he wanted to respond but it wasn’t the most rational thing to say to someone who he didn’t even know if they had feelings for him also. “If there’s something you need or-or even someone you want to talk to, I’m here.” 

   Her heart fluttered.

   She smiled at him before she let her thoughts get in the way. “Thanks, Spence, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

   He gave a slight nod before taking a sip of his own coffee. 

   “You know I-” Y/N was cut off.

   “Guys,” Hotch said, getting the attention of the team down in the bullpen as he nodded towards the round table room. 

--------

   “Somerville Military Academy, Oceanside, Florida. Five boys were found hanging this morning,” Hotch began as he and Strauss began to explain the case.

   “Five?” Y/N said, a worried tone in her voice.

   “Yes, five,” Hotch said, confirming her doubt. 

   “The bodies are at the medical examiner’s now,” Strauss explained.

   “There’s no photos?” Derek asked, eyebrows raised. 

   “School personnel thought they may still be alive,” Strauss began. “So they cut them out of the trees.”

Y/N let out a slight sigh, an uneasy feeling forming in her stomach at the thought. Spencer looked at her with worry, silently asking her if she was okay. 

All good, she mouthed to him which he responded with a nod.  

   “Jimmy Burbage, Phil Mumford, Jerry Bowden, Jack Briggs, Tucker Calhoun,” Hotch spoke, listing out all the victims in the file.  

   “So we’re walking into a contaminated crime scene,” Derek said, with a slight question in his tone. “We don’t have anything solid?” 

   “ ‘We’re sorry’, was carved in a tree branch nearby,” Hotch answered Derek’s question.

   “This happened on campus?” Emily asked, looking at Hotch. 

   “No, in the woods about an hour away,” he responded. 

   “How long were they out there?” Y/N asked.

   “Six days,” Strauss responded looking at her. 

   Y/N’s eyebrows raised, “Without supervision?”

   “It was an outward bound mission, for the upperclassman,” Strauss responded. She seemed slightly annoyed with her and Y/N just looked away without a question. 

   “What drove them to Suicide?” Spencer asked. 

   “Freshman cadet, Bailey Shelton, hung himself two weeks ago in his room,” Strauss explained.

   “Identical bed sheets, hangman’s knot,” Hotch said, giving more to the explanation.

   “Who takes sheets camping?” Rossi asked, the look of thought on his face showing through. 

   “They would if it was the plan,” JJ said, looking at those around the table.

   “Could be a domino effect,” Y/N said, adding more to JJ’s theory. 

   “Campus would have been on high alert after the first one, so the kids wait until they’re alone in the woods,” said Rossi. 

   “They must’ve made some kind of pact,” Derek agreed. 

   “And there’s something else,” Hotch began. “Six kids went on the trip. Only five were found.”

      Y/N let out another quiet sigh, this seemed a lot more complicated then the academy was probably going to let on. 

   “School officials confirmed Josh Redding is still missing,” Strauss said. 

   “Maybe he chickened out of the pact,” Derek said, trying to find a reason as to why he was missing. 

   “Or was never part of it,” Spencer added to Derek’s thought.

   “Campus is completely off the grid, no internet,” Hotch said. 

   “I can help with that,” Garcia said looking back at Hotch.

   “Which is why you’re coming with us,” Hotch said to her. 

   “Oh,” she responded not expecting that. 

   “And so am I,” Strauss said, causing everyone to look at her. Surprise all evident on their faces.   

   “Isn’t Somerville the director’s Alma Mater,” Rossi asked, to no one in particular really.

   “Yes. The academy has enjoyed a spotless reputation, so the hope is to keep the investigation in house,” Strauss explained.  

   “I imagine there’s a lot of concern for Josh,” Emily stated. “He’s been out there for almost a week.” 

   Everyone looked around at each other for a second.

   “So how’s he surviving?” JJ asked.

-------

   “So, Somerville Academy was founded during World War II,” Garcia began. “It is a hard-core old school, they don’t even have a website.” She finished her statement with a slight mumble. 

   “Socioeconomic breakdown all over the map,” Emily said looking down at the file in her lap. 

   “Yeah so are the ages,” Y/N said as she looked at the pamphlet in her hand. “Students are 12 to 18 years old.” 

   “All on the same campus, in the same dorms,” JJ said, continuing to read what was in front of them. 

   “Same personnel has worked there for a lifetime,” Derek said looking up from his file. “Ron Massey has been superintendent for 30 years.”

   “He’s an alum, as is the majority of the staff there,” Strauss said, giving more detail as to why that was. “Lieutenant Tawes has been his second in command this whole time.”

   “These types of places have their own infrastructure,” Derek said. 

   “Yeah, if it ain’t broken, they ain’t gonna fix it,” Y/N said with a small chuckle evident in her voice.

   “That’s probably why they banned modern technology,” Emily added on to the profile of the academy.   

   “They didn’t need it back then, they don’t need it now,” JJ agreed.

   “Aggressive Motto-” Rossi began. “Vivere est vincere,” he read. 

   “To live is to conquer,” Y/N said as she recognized the phrase. “They raise soldiers, suicide isn’t a part of that mantra.” 

   “Bailey Shelton was only 13-years-old, he was one of the youngest students there,” Spencer said. 

   At this, Y/N wondered into her thoughts again. How could someone so young want to take their life? She thought to herself. Her mind got lost in her own theories while the rest of the team discussed. 

-------

   The team arrived at the academy and all filed out of the SUVs. Spencer and Y/N going to the back to help Garcia with all the equipment that she had to bring with her. 

     “Colonel Massey, Erin Strauss,” Strauss introduced herself to the Colonel. “This is the team I spoke with you about,” she spoke, gesturing to her side. 

   “Agent Hotchner,” Hotch said, shaking the man’s hand. “This is Agent Morgan, Agent Jareau,” He said while the two shook his hand. “Dr. Spencer Reid, Agent Y/L/N, and Penelope Garcia,” the three by the car gave a hand gesture signaling they acknowledged the introduction. 

    Y/N looked at the Colonel for a second, glancing over his posture and facial expression. She got that gut feeling again, but she passed this one off as a wave of hunger.  

     The four with the Colonel began discussing what they were going to do, while the three by the car began unloading. 

  “Why does there have to be so much stuff?” Y/N said as she pulled another tub out of the back of the trunk. Spencer laughed as he watched her struggle slightly pulling out the tub. 

   “Because the Old-timer over there doesn’t allow new technology, we have to bring a whole database in,” Penelope said in a mumble so only the three of them could hear. The two others laughed at her statement while they pulled the last of the things out of the trunk. 

    “Any leads on Josh?” Derek asked as they began to walk towards the three by the car.

   “In that terrain,” the Colonel began. “He’s only capable of moving a mile an hour.” 

   “Puts him in a 60-mile radius,” Spencer said as he pulled a bag from the trunk. “That’s 3,600 square miles to cover.” 

   “Tawes knows those woods better than anybody,” The Colonel said. 

   “We’ve got two agents meeting and we’ll start the investigation here,” Hotch said, turning towards the colonel.  

    “Where’s the place with the most outlets?” Garcia asked, hopeful for a good answer.

    “Best bet is in the library,” responded the Colonel. 

   “Thank you,” Garcia responded. Her, Y/N, and Spencer grabbed the bags and some cadets grabbed the tubs and led them to the library. 

   “Still feeling a little off?” Spencer asked Y/N as they walked towards the library. 

   “Hm- oh yea, kind of,” She responded looking over at him. “I’m not really sure what it is, I think I might just be tired, and this case it just-” she paused, giving a slight shutter. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t sit right with me.” 

   “What do you mean?” Spencer asked eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her. 

   “I think this goes way deeper than a pact-acted mass suicide,” she explained. 

--------

   “Come on, baby,” Penelope said, encouraging the machine in front of her. “Come on!” 

   “I don’t think calling a machine ‘baby’ will help,” Y/N laughed as she plugged in some wires to a receiver.

   “Boo,” Spencer said tapping on a globe in the library. Penelope and Y/N jumped as they turned to look at where the noise came from. 

   “Jeez, you scared me,” Penelope said turning towards him, Y/N doing the same. 

   “Yeah, no kidding.” Y/N said. “I thought he was a ghost.” She lightly laughed before turning back to what she was doing. 

   “You know, older buildings like this emit a low enough frequency that you can’t consciously hear. Because the sensory overload can’t be explained, it wreaks havoc with your emotions. Indicating fear, panic, and dread,” Spencer said. 

   “Hence the feeling of being haunted,” Y/N said as she came to the realization of what his lesson was leading too. He pointed at her nodding with a small smile. 

   “What about the visions?” Penelope asked in a concerning tone. 

   “Your eyes overcompensate for what your ears are missing,” Spencer explained. “That said, I do know a 3-year-old boy who once met a friendly apparition named Leverett Saltonstall.”  

   Y/N giggled at the last statement made by Spencer and also the fact of Penelope’s eyes lighting up. 

   “He was nice?” She asked in a child-like voice.

   “Very nice,” Spencer answered, making Y/N smile while she looked down at the map he just laid out. “You’d think the laundry room would be closer to the dorms,” Spencer said as he looked at the map along with Y/N.

   “It’s not in the basement?” Penelope asked as she typed on her laptop. 

   “It’s on the opposite side of campus,” Y/N said as she used her finger to follow a road. Her hand ever so slightly brushed against Spencer's. A blush formed on both of their faces as they retracted their hands quickly from the map. 

   Spencer cleared his throat, “That’s so strange.” 

   “Yeah,” Y/N said in agreement hoping to God that the moment wouldn’t create an awkward tension.  

   The small moment, they both hoped, went unnoticed to the woman beside them.

 But oh no it didn’t. 

She smiled excitedly at the thought of the two having feelings for each other and how cute they would be together. 

   “Leaves of three, let them be,” Rossi’s voice was heard as he and Emily walked into the room. Emily scratching her arm vigorously. The three turned their heads to look and grimaced at the thought of poison ivy.

   “Oh man, poison ivy,” Y/N said hissing after her words in sorrow for her friend. 

   “Alcohol swabs, stat!” Penelope said standing up from her chair to care for Emily’s needs.

    “Thank you,” Emily said to Penelope. “You know, if I’ve got it, so do you,” she said looking at Rossi. 

   “I’m Italian, it knows better.” He stated matter-of-factly. The three laughed at his statement. “Where’s Massey?” 

   “He’s meeting with the victims’ families,” Y/N said as she sat criss-cross applesauce in her chair.

   “They’re arriving now,” added Hotch as he walked into the room. “JJ, how are Josh’s parents?” 

   Y/N and Spencer turned their heads to see that JJ had entered the room from the opposite door, along with the rest of the team.

   “Upset,” She said. “They sent him here to keep him away from trouble.” 

   “Tawes made it seem like these guys are the only family they have,” Emily said, placing a cotton pad drenched in rubbing alcohol on her arm.  

   “You make it sound like a cult,” Strauss questioned. 

   “Uh, It kind of is,” Y/N said as she looked around at the rest of the team. Rossi nodding his head in agreement looking at Y/N.    

   “This is a well-respected institution,” Strauss responded strongly.  

   “They’re not on trial,” Rossi retorted.  

   “The integral part of this investigation is going to be understanding what these victims lived every day,” Hotch explained. 

   “And with who,” Y/N added. 

   “Bailey Shelton killed himself in Josh Redding’s room,” Derek said, adding to Y/N’s statement. 

   “Was Josh in the room that night?” Y/n asked looking at Derek.  

   “According to the records,” Derek confirmed. 

   “I will dig for dirt,” Penelope said typing away on her computer. Hotch then asked Rossi if he and Emily found anything in the woods.

   “Josh’s tent was secluded. His things were left behind, he just took off.”

   “Massey did say he didn’t get any respect from Josh,” Hotch said. 

   “His parents even said he was hard to control,” JJ added. 

   “His course load indicates increased isolation,” Spencer said looking down at the file in his hand. Y/N leaned over to look at the file he was holding. Spencer noticed this and turned it towards her so she could read it also.  

   “Isolated, smart, angry,” Emily listed off some of the traits they just picked up on. 

   “Sounds to me like it could be a budding psychopath,” Y/N said looking at Emily who nodded in agreement signaling that she was thinking the same thing.

     “What are you saying?” Strauss asked, ready to question what the two women were uncovering. “Josh Redding killed his classmates?”

    Everyone on the team looked at each other, all thinking the same thing now. 

  “Then he’s not missing,” Strauss continued. “He’s on the run.” 

   “And he has been for a week,” Derek added. 

   “One hell of a head start,” Rossi said. 

   “And he has all the skills he could ever need,” Y/n finished.  

---------

   As the sun rose and a new day began and the team all gathered at the academy, the feeling filled Y/N’s stomach again. The feeling spread all over this time, and she didn’t know what it was. She came to a conclusion last night that it was probably about this case because most of the time when she didn’t think about it she felt fine. She needed to talk to someone about, her feelings were usually right and she wouldn’t tell anyone if she thought they were wrong. So as she walked into the library and set her bag down next to Penelope, grabbed her notebook out, and began writing her thoughts. 

   “What are you doing?” Penelope asked her as she looked over at the young woman writing vigorously in the small book. 

   “Trying to know why I have a bad gut feeling,” Y/N explained as she continued to write down her thoughts. 

   “Does this usually help you?” Penelope asked her as she turned back to her computer to type more. 

   “It helped me in school when I knew how to do something but I couldn’t explain to the teacher how I knew how to do it or why.” She remembered back to the times in high school and college when she would grab out her notebook and write so fast that the teacher didn’t even have time to react. 

   “Hey so yesterday,” Penelope said turning away from her computer towards Y/N. “I saw you and boy genius had some sparks fly.”

   Y/N blushed, stopping her writing in her notebook but not looking up. Damn it, I thought she didn’t notice, she thought to herself. 

   “Oh my gosh, you are so crushing on him!” She exclaimed softly seeing the blush on Y/N’s face. 

   “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said quickly as she continued to write.

   “Uh-huh, okay, keep your secret lover,” she said, giving her a silly name. The two went back to what they were doing and keeping quite. Y/N hoping she could talk about her feelings to her later at a better time. Soon Spencer, JJ, Rossi, and Emily walked into the room, breakfast in their hands. Giving everyone their food and all sitting down they began to discuss more into the theory that Josh did it. 

       “Okay, so how did he do it?” Emily asked. “How did Josh control five-strong kids?” 

   “I mean he did supervise the laundry room,” Y/N said as she looked down at her notebook seeing the notes she took about who was who and what they did. “That could explain how the sheets got out.”

   “Yeah, so what does ‘we’re sorry’ mean,” JJ asked, pulling the photo of the branch out of the file. “If it wasn’t for suicide? What if Josh wanted them to apologize for something.” 

    “For their sins?” Emily said, adding the thought of religion. “There's no record of bad behavior, but all these guys were alpha males.” 

   “They were all upperclassmen, might’ve even bullied Bailey,” Y/N added her thought before taking a sip of her coffee. 

   “The message was carved under Tucker Calhoun’s tree for a reason,” said Rossi before taking a bit of his breakfast. 

   “Yeah, we need to know more about that kid,” Emily added. 

   “I agree, I feel like he has more to do with this then Massey is going to let on,” Y/N said, agreeing with Emily’s statement. She looked back down at her book, underlining the name Tucker. 

   “What are you looking at?” Penelope asked, looking at Spencer on the right side of her. Y/N looked up from her notebook to listen to what was going on. 

   “The M.E.’s report,” He said while looking at the report. “Bilateral fracture of the pars interarticularis of the C2 vertebra.”

   “Uh-huh, what’s that?” Penelope asked looking down at the report. 

   “Classic hangman's fracture,” he explained. “But only one of the five victims had it.” 

   “Which one?” Y/N asked him, having a feeling that she already knew the answer. 

   “Tucker Calhuan,” he responded looking at her. 

   “Jeez, who is this guy?” Penelope asked everyone, turned their heads to the pictures of the victims on the board. 

   “The others suffered rotational fractures, hanging was secondary,” Spencer said with slight curiosity in his voice. 

   “Staging the crime scene?” Y/N asked writing that down in her book before circling it.

   “Josh is more sophisticated than we thought,” Rossi added. 

    “And vindictive, he wanted Tucker to suffer,” Emily said. “The question is why.”

   Y/N looked down at her book and let out a sigh. 

   “What is it, kid?” Rossi asked Y/N from across the table. 

   She looked up, “I feel like there’s a piece missing, but I don’t know what.”  

---------- 

    “I think I figured out that piece you were talking about Y/N,” Rossi said walking into the Library. He and Emily went to talk to some cadets to get the 4-1-1 on Josh and Tucker. 

    “A point system,” Emily said. 

   Penelope began typing away on her computer to find all she can about this point system. 

   “Tucker Calhoun has the most points,” Penelope said going up to the board and pointing at him. 

   Y/N and Spencer sat beside each other turned towards the board. 

   “Who approves them?” Spencer asked. 

   “Massey,” Penelope responded quickly. 

   “Maybe Tucker was his little pet,” Y/N said. “Leader of Everything.”

   “That comes with an attitude, steamroller types like that, don’t let anybody get in their way,” Emily added. 

    “Nothing was nice about that kid,” Rossi said. “Sounds like he strong-armed everybody.”

   “Well, then the points are for bad behavior,” Penelope began. “Only they are not calling it that.”

    “We should look at the points of everyone who died in those woods, my guess is they were all bullies,” Y/N said standing up and going towards the chart on the board. 

   “Except for Josh,” Spencer said.

----------

    Y/N walked into the library, three coffee in her hand, two for Spencer and Penelope. 

“The school does have a cell phone,” Y/N heard Penelope say as she walked into the room. 

   “No way,” Y/N said as she handed the coffees to her friends before she sat down. “I knew Massey wasn’t telling us everything.”

    “Only it’s not listed under Massey,” Penelope continued. “The account was opened by...Tawes.” 

   “If Massey’s lying about something as simple as a cell phone, what else is he hiding?” Spencer questioned. 

   “That’s what I’ve been saying,” Y/N said pulling out her notebook and pen. “From the day we got here I have had this feeling, I didn’t know what it was, but now I think I do,” she looked at the two beside her before she continued. “I think Massey is a bigger part of this then he’s letting on.”

   The three were soon joined by JJ, and then Rossi and Emily. 

  “Okay, I need to students who were having trouble with authority,” JJ said to Penelope who began typing on her computer. 

   “Okay, I can do that, but I got to tell you, they post rewards, faster than they do demerits,” Penelope explained as she types on her computer.  

   “Look for kids with issues before they came here,” JJ continued. 

   Y/N looked over to Emily and Rossi who just walked in with some things that she was assuming were left by Josh at the new victim site. 

   “Did any of them have a class with Bailey?” JJ asked, pulling Y/N away from what she was looking at and back to what was going on in front of her. 

   “No but each of the plebes had laundry duty,” Penelope said looking at the schedule. “Does that help?”

   “Their dorm is the farthest point from the laundry room, why are they so isolated?” Spencer asked.

   “M.E. said bailey had blisters and burns, fingertips were raw, his trachea had internal scarring,” Y/N said picking up the report sitting on the table.

   “That’s awful,” Penelope said. 

     “Guys that could be damage done in an industrial-sized dryer,” Spencer said turning to look at Y/N. 

      “Oh my god,” Penelope said in shock. 

   “That’s how Massey’s breaking these boys,” JJ said shock and sadness written on her face. 

    “No, in all the materials it says they don’t believe in corporal punishment,” Penelope said with a sad tone. 

    “Bailey wrote about how all those boys bullied him,” Rossi said holding up Bailey’s journal. 

   “His father must have read it and wants revenge,” Spencer said.

    “Does it mention Josh?” Y/N asked looking at Rossi. 

   “Not at all,” he replied. 

   “Then why would Chris Shelton go after him?” Y/N asked looking to JJ on her right then Spencer on her left.

   “What if Massey lied to Chris Shelton?” Emily questioned. 

   “And set Josh up,” Rossi added. 

    “And he convinced Shelton that Josh was responsible for Bailey’s suicide,” Y/N added, her theory about Massey being apart coming into play.  

   “Still doesn’t explain how he found the secluded woods,” JJ said. 

   “Wait, where’s Mr. Shelton’s phone?” Spencer asked, looking at Emily who was holding the items that were found. 

   “It’s right here,” Emily replied pulling the phone out. “It’s got a couple of contacts on it, Somerville Academy being one of them.” 

   “Any unknowns?” Spencer asked.

   “Tawes does have a cell,” Y/N said looking at Emily. 

   “No way, Lieutenant no tech?” She said with humor. “There’s one, it’s a text...looks like-uh- some phone numbers.” 

   “What are they?” Spencer asked, prompting Emily to reply with a string of numbers. 

   “Those aren’t phone numbers,” Spencer said standing us walking over towards the map of the woods. “That’s latitude and longitude.”

   “Right where those boys were camping,” Rossi said realizing where this was probably going. 

  The team soon realized that the reason for this whole happening was because when Bailey died, Josh was planning to escape because that was who he was protecting from Massey’s abuse. Massey then sent Josh into the woods because he wanted Christ Shelton to take revenge on Josh because he convinced him it was his fault for the suicide. Josh fought back though which was not premeditated. The mass suicide was Shelton’s way of getting back at Massey, taking away who he thought of as his sons.

----------

 The team had discovered three possible places that Josh could be heading to find Chris Shelton’s truck. They split up Hotch, Derek, and Y/N in together, JJ and Spencer, and then Emily and Rossi. 

   Derek pulled up a little bit away from Tawes and Josh, seeing as the two were fighting and they wanted the element of surprise. Derek went around to the side of the woods, tackling Josh before he threw a large rock at Tawes. 

   “Don’t do it, Tawes,” Y/N spoke, her and Hotch standing side by side guns aimed at the man.

   He didn’t listen though, pulling a small pistol out of his bag. Hotch fired a shot at his leg before he could do anything that he would regret. They handled the two and brought them back to the academy and the next day, they were going to arrest Massey.  

   The team watched as Derek guided Massey down the stairs towards the car he would go in. Y/N sighed, a happy one this time as she saw Josh go over and salute Massey before he drove away. His parents stood by his side, mom hugging him and dad patting his shoulder. 

   “You okay?” Spencer asked Y/N as he leaned next to her on the black vehicle behind them.

   She turned her head to look at him, a small smile on her face, “Yeah, I think so, I’m just glad this is over. Hopefully, this feeling will go away after all this passes,” she explained to the man next to her. 

   “My offer still stands, if you need to talk, I’m here,” he said, nudging her arm slightly. She smiled nodding at him. 

   “Thank you,” she replied. 

   The team made it home later that day, going back into the office to finish up reports and such. Y/N walked up to her desk, head-turning to the side as she saw a small enveloped letter on her desk. She carefully picked it up looking at it then opening it.

  She pulled out the small card which read, Be wary of feelings within, they might be more than you think. Turning it over she looked at the back seeing an all to a familiar signature from her past, a silhouette of a bird. She put the card back into the envelope, ripping it up and throwing it in her trash can, hoping she won’t think about it again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #derek morgan #derek morgan imagine #criminal minds meme

[lancermylove]

BSTS Theory (Part 3)

Part 1: here Part 2: here

I’m sorry for taking forever to reply, @that-otome-potato! ><

​The card that MC got had the address to the old Starless. That’s why Kokuyou was shocked when he saw the address to old Starless, and that’s when he started to believe MC is connected to something deeper (and Kei didn’t keep MC around for no reason). After BL2, there are SO many theories floating around: Zaku being a clone, this Zaku not being the real one, real Zaku missing. Main reason for this the trailer at the end of the BL2. The man standing with Zaku is theorized to be either the current Zaku, Takami, Yoshino, or Nekome. I want to lean more towards Takami because that would answer the question about how Taka got the Blackstar cd in the first place. Here are two possible explanations for Zaku. One, he is an imposter and is saying he has amnesia. Two, the guy standing in the BL2 end photo hit Zaku over the head, giving him a concussion or injury that resulted in memory loss.  

Zaku and Taka haven’t really interacted in the “I’ve info to share with you” way, or Donuts hasn’t showed us that part yet. Oh, so idk if I mentioned this, but Kasumi also seems to know things. I really do wonder if ALL the cast members are linked to this. That would be one hell of a storyline to make up. O_O HAHAHA omg, it would be so hard to get info out of those guys. They would play mind games with you and leave, after which you would realize they never answered any of your questions. XD 

Ran knows more about MC than he’s letting on. I doubt that he knows everything, but he know more than most. Not quite sure how he fits into all this, but it’s almost like he came to Starless because of MC. Ah, I kinda wish we knew which teams these guys were on! Team Hurt MC or Team Protect Mc. Donuts sometimes makes me want to pull out my hair and cry. T~T Starless gets the award of “Most Suspicious Place in the World”. 

YES! Donuts, give Kongou more screen time, please. OMG no...no Kongou older brother lol. I doubt they would be related because Kongou has a shyness around MC...and we’re NOT going the incest route. Kongou helping MC/Heath could work, but I don’t remember any scenes with Heath saying “omg, it’s you” to Kongou. So, it’s safe to assume that they didn’t know each other before coming to Starless. Also, Kongou was already part of Starless before MC arrived. He was part of the kitchen staff, so he didn’t come out of the kitchen (until his character was made into an official cast member). 

Yeah, that could be possible. We know that Kokuyou is def connected to all this, so it makes sense that kid him knew kid MC. Hm, if we look at the original story, Lohengrin didn’t take the blame for anything, but he wanted to prove Elsa innocent. Going by that, I think MC was blamed for something, and Kei returned to prove her innocent. Maybe MC lost her memories very recently...she may be fresh out of the hospital. Cause why would Kei come back now of all times? 

Kokuyou def knows the Mikis because they brought him to Starless. Other than that, we don’t know much. Ginsei was close to Koharu and said she was a nice person, and none of the members have said anything bad about them. So from the members POV, the Mikis aren’t bad. We don’t know much about Iwami though, aside from Kei disliking him, and Haseyama saying he met him once, I think. 

 Oh, Iwami wants her to remember for sure. Kei said that straight up when MC was in the hospital, but we don’t know if Iwami asked Sin, or if Sin played the CD out of free will. Blackstar (the song) feels like a means of brainwash that allows MC to remember the past. That’s why Kei didn’t want to let her hear the song, but now we know there are two version: one that makes MC faint, and the one that Mc is okay with. Taka...how in the world did you know which part to remove? Also, now we know that Taka is aware that Taiga is spying on Haseyama, AND Taka is currently helping out Haseyama. They’re brewing up something suspicious, seems like it’s something against MC. 

I REALLY hope that Kei is lurking around, but I’m sure he went back home. Remember Kasumi checked the overseas news and saw new articles about Kei? That means he did go back...leave it to the media to stalk the celebs and reveal their whereabouts. Saying that, I will say that Kei seems to be powerful enough to have a private jet of his own. If he did, he could leave US and return to Japan without getting spotted by the media. Also, he could totally hire people to spread rumors about him being in US but still be in Japan. I’m pretty sure Kasumi isn’t the only one who stalks overseas news for info about Kei. 

Rindou is super stressed out, but he’s open about his stress to an extent. Kei, on the other hand, will not show his stress. He knows there are people just waiting to hurt him if they learn he’s in a weak state, so he can’t show it even if he wants (which he most likely wouldn’t lol). Menou, please give these guys a spa suggestion...they need to take a deep breath and relax. And I would be more than happy to go with him. ^/////^

#bsts #bsts theory #blackstar theater starless

[lizacstuff]

Sen Çal Kapımı / Edser Asks

After the fragman, I got a few anons this afternoon, my answer are under the cut. 

(Also my initial reactions are in this post.)

Anonymous said: In the spirit of optimism- when Eda broke up with Serkan in 25, everyone freaked out but by the end of the next episode, she proposed LOL. Maybe just maybe they won’t do the “everyone pretends Selin and Serkan are a thing for medical reasons for multiple episodes” route and someone gets her kicked to the curb in 29. I wonder how much of the 2.5 hrs will be before he comes back and how much is after.

LOL, I certainly would like Selin to be back for only one episode. I hope my speculation is right (this post,)and her narrative purpose is to make Serkan distrust Eda from the start and once she’s done that she can exit stage right. 

As for the theory you mention, which I have seen on twitter, I don’t see people pretending they’re together for medical reasons. That makes zero sense to me (not that medical diagnosis on a silly romantic dramedy dizi would be accurate, lol) why would that be necessary? Why would anyone go along with that? Especially when all he would need to do is google himself to find out about his relationship with Eda.  They were all over the tabloids and on the cover of a magazine. Plus it seems like he knows about Eda, Selin tells him "she turned you into someone you’re not and dragged you into a different world.”  He has to know they were in a relationship.

There is a lot of knee-jerk hysteria over there right now which is leading to completely neurosis-induced, nonsensical, worst-case scenario speculation. I recommend avoiding for awhile if anyone is easily upset by that type of thing. 

As for the timeline of the ep, great question. I am hoping that the walk into ArtLife is not the end of the episode. We’re going to need to see Serkan and Eda meeting face to face before this episode is up in order to survive! We know almost the full cast (including Hande and Kerem) were shooting at a cafe yesterday, and the cast looked dressed up. Most thought it was for 1x28, so that seems like there are scenes with Serkan and the full cast in this ep. 

Though, the show has a lot of questions to answer.  How in God’s name did he end up in that cabin? Did he get on the plane or not?  Was he held captive and got dropped in the woods with only Selin’s phone number? Has he been in a coma?  Was there foul play involved?   Was there a brain injury or did Babaanne arrange his kidnapping and give him some experimental drug to wipe out his memories of Eda? 

Not sure if this Deniz is a law enforcement official or some sort of private detective, but there would have been some sort of official inquiry and search when he went missing. So he can’t just be lazing around for 2 months, easily findable. And Selin can’t have been with him for anything length of time without the others knowing he’s alive, because that would pretty much be kidnapping. So what HAPPENED? 

Anonymous said: I hope we get good Eda and Aydan moments. She didn’t get married but she is still Aydan’s daughter now. He’s going to come back and find that this woman has his mother, his company, his dog, his car, his friends.....there’s no way that he doesn’t just know that Selin has been a snake.

Yes, please!  I’m sure we will get Eda and Aydan moments, it looks from the first trailer that they will lean on each other while he’s missing. Which they should, they’ll be the two that will hold out hope and give one another comfort. 

I am LOVING that Eda is driving his car and taking care of his dog. As she should, they were hours away from being married! And yes, you’re correct, he’s going to find Eda so deeply embedded in everything he remembers (except Selin) that it’s going to drive him crazy. Who is this woman and how did she ensorcell him so thoroughly? Can’t wait for him to find out. 

You know what I’m most looking forward to in regards to Aydan? Serkan’s shock that his mother has conquered her agoraphobia. Can’t wait for him to find out that Eda was instrumental in helping her do that. 

She is going to hit him like an emotional freight train. A second time. 

Anonymous said: i know most of the fandom has already accepted it as fact bc they can't wait for the actual ep to make conclusions, but i'm less inclined to believe he's been in that cabin w/ selin for 2 months.. idk HOW he gets there, or how selin ends up there.. but for some reason i think they find him first, and he takes off by himself for a bit as he's overwhelmed with the whole situation.. and then selin enters. idk, we'll have to see it, but i think, like all trailers, it's confusing on purpose.

This theory is definitely possible. That he’s found and freaks out and goes to the cabin. Perhaps the last he remembers he was still with Selin so he reaches out to her for answer about what’s going on.  That would make sense why he accepts her comfort, and she gives it, but can’t help herself from trying to do everything in her power to make him distrust Eda. Even if she doesn’t have hope of reconciliation, just to cause chaos because she doesn’t want them to find happiness together. She’s said it more than once, she didn’t want him happy, while she was not. 

Anonymous said: I am not emotionally prepared to watch the look on Eda’s face when Serkan walks in holding hands with Selin after being missing for the last two months....😭😭😭. Also even if Serkan & Selin are purely platonic watching their scenes together are going to be brutal. I am prepared to cry ( both tears of joy & sadness) & be very mad at various points in this episode. It will be an rollercoaster of emotions for sure.

Yep, pretty much all of this!  I don’t think I’m going to enjoy watching this episode at all. However, my hope is that I will really enjoy watching the storyline that it sets up where we get to watch Serkan fall in love with Eda all over again.  Think of all the delicious, UST-y, sexy, funny, fiery, passionate scenes that are in store for us! 

Off the top of my head, things I want:

Serkan opening Madonna in a Fur Coat and finding their photo

Serkan’s deep-seated memory kicking in and mindlessly tearing the crusts off bread for her without realizing it or knowing why

Finding out his computer password and what it means

Seeing photos of them from their matchmaking party. Looking so in love and surrounded by friends and family and everyone looks so happy

One of the friends, Engin or Piril snapping and telling him the big change Eda brought about in him was just that he was happy

Serkan seeing media clippings of them and their relationship

Eda handcuffing him so they have to spend time together while trying to jog his memory

After being suspicious and trying to keep her at arms length, Serkan finally breaking down and asking her questions about their relationship

Serkan being mistrustful of her, but still unable to say no to her

Anonymous said: So I get that SCK is going through a reset and now we will get to watch Eda & Serkan fall in love again but seriously they brought Selin back like that...WTF? Now she is even worse than Balca. Plus the entire world thinks Serkan is dead but somehow Selin found him and never bothered to tell anyone else...that should send up some red flags for sure. Regardless of the explanation, this situation is going to crush Eda. And it seems like a lot to go through to have him immediately get his memories back so we could be stuck with this storyline for a while.

Yes, poor Eda is going to be crushed no matter what.  However, I know that people have been theorizing that the memory loss would be short, but I never thought it would be.  What’s the point of this reset unless they’re going to follow through with it and milk it for as many episode as possible. They’re trying to find ways to keep this show going and this is their big swing. 

The entire point is to recreate the magic of Eda and Serkan falling in love, and, honestly, I'm not sure why anyone would want that to be over in 2 episodes. I don’t see it as being stuck with the amnesia story, I’m excited for all the parallels, watching Serkan get struck by lightning a second time when he first sees her.  Watching him be suspicious of her, of her motives of her abilities, but then finding out all the same things that he found out the first time, that she’s fierce, kind-hearted, loyal and talented. And just a bright shining light for him. 

My heart melts just thinking about it.  We just have to get rid of that opportunistic, malevolent, bitter hag. 

Anonymous said: one complaint that i've seen in regards to sck is that characters aren't sent off properly.. but outside of maybe fifi (which we don't know how they'll explain her leaving) am i the only one that doesn't... really care? everyone that's left has been unsubstantial or in a villain role, and personally whatever way they leave i'm fine with lol.. i know when selin left ppl were mad bc they wanted a redemption story arc for her.. but not every character NEEDS that by default, if that makes sense.

For context, this ask was sent before the fragman.  I agree with you, no side character needs redemption by default. I’ve said it many times, but on this specific show, really only two characters matter: Eda and Serkan. This is their story. Their love story. Everyone else is supporting in the truest sense of the word. They all exist to prop up the A story. So for most of them their journey doesn’t matter unless it directly affects Eda or Serkan. (Aydan’s growth and redemption has directly impacted Eda and Serkan and that’s why time has been spent on it). Selin is a tool. She’s behaved erratically at time because she only exists for the writers to use her to antagonize the protagonists. Her story in and of itself does not matter. 

I laughed hysterically when some on twitter were thinking Serkan might really be dead and Kerem was leaving the show. 

Seriously? You think they would try to keep this show going without Edser? That anyone would pay money for it, without them?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If one of them were to leave, the show would be over. Dead. Cancelled. There is NO reason for this show to keep going other than for more Edser. Everything else is an after thought, filler, or characters that prop up Eda and Serkan either literally or symbolically or thematically. Nothing else stands on it’s own.

They devised this storyline in order to go back to the magic of these two people falling in love. Full stop. That’s why we’re seeing this reset.  Because no other characters or their storylines are compelling enough to carry the show.  I applaud the writers for creating a situation where we could watch Serkan fall in love with Eda one more time. (just get rid of Selin, please, so I can enjoy it... and do it quickly.)

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sck speculation #sck spoilers #sckask #sck 1x29 #asklizac #anonymous

[mcrmadness]

Madness draws: my dä fanart from when I had my (arts) comeback in 2018

For years I didn’t draw anything because of a personal (art crisis) and because I simply was studying and working so much I just had no energy left for arts.

In 2018 I was done with schools and studying and dropped out of the school I was in at that moment, and also the horse stable I was working at (school related stuff) was sold and closed its doors so also my work ended. For the first time in almost 5 years I was actually free. The longest holidays I had has was 3 weeks summer holiday in 2016, I think. I had another in 2017 but of that I actually was having health issues (nothing serious) for 2 weeks and then had to be in school for the 3rd one, after which I even got the flu.

So I was SO excited when I finally was free the first day of November in 2018. After I had got enough sleep and rest, I started to find my creativity again. And I started to “daydream” before falling asleep every night, I started to write fanfictions in my head and I started to draw, too. Partially it was also because for the first time in years I had an online friend I enjoyed talking with and we had similar interests, aka dä and Bela/Farin, and that inspired me a lot to draw even more - but unfortunately that friendship did not work out in the end and we’re no longer friends.

Anyway, most of these drawings are very much Bela/Farin related again because I talked about that a lot with this person and I often asked what they’d want to see and then drew it if the idea was something I could carry out.

This is not the first one I drew but maybe the 4th or so. I’m just putting this here first because it’s the most “innocent” aka not too much shippy stuff rubbed into the faces of my followers who don’t care about that. There’s 5 different drawings + 1 comic behind the read more link. All of these, apart from the comic, where drawn into my old sketchbook.

About the drawing above - I didn’t use pencil for these first ones at all yet, I just drew them with the fineliners as I was still a bit rusty as the last time I REALLY drew anything was in 2013 aka over 5 years ago from 2018, so I had to actually look at my old comics and drawings to even figure out how to draw these characters anymore. And I think the last actual time I drew in this style was in 2011 even. And that is very visible from the first 2018′s drawing I did! ↓↓↓

This is the one - and wait, I have an explanation!

So with this person I mentioned, we just constantly had this playful debate over whether Bela is “bottom” or not - and honestly I couldn’t care less about that because I no longer read any fanfics. I do write fanfics - or a fanfic - but only for myself and as an asexual I have never been interested in writing about certain themes so I never need to think about the whole top/bottom stuff anyway. I used to read smut before until I one day just realized it’s SO BORING and uninteresting to read, started skipping all smut scenes and wanted to read fluff but all the fluff was so quickly and badly written because everyone wanted to write smut only, that I was left with absolutely nothing to read. So it was the old story again: I started writing/drawing the stuff I wanted to read and see.

However, back to the top/bottom topic, I always base my opinions with everything over how things are in real life and with these guys, if you look at how they are in interviews and on stage, the dynamics are not just plain black&white. I’ve never seen there anything that would indicate that just one is “top” or “bottom” whatsoever which is why I kept saying imo they’re more like just switching if you listen to their jokes. Remember: I don’t read any fanfiction and don’t give a fuck about smut (lol at the pun) and honestly, even tho I understand those jokes they do and say on stage, I wish not to have any visuals about any of that “activity” in my head.

So, to support my “they switch!” opinion, I drew this, just for fun. And it is the official first drawing I did in 2018. I just needed to fire back bigger than I could do with simple text messages :D

***

Moving on. The person in question was very fascinated by the idea that Farin would be a vampire and not Bela (to support their top/bottom views...) which is why I drew this:

Also a very quick one, without sketching anything before drawing with fineliners. This and the first image of this post both are very small in real life actually, the signature is about the same size in every drawing so you can see from that that they are actually pretty small.

Talking of the signature: The funniest thing to me about this IS the signature. Because I was so rusty I didn’t even know how to write it anymore :DDD You can compare it to the signature in the other drawings because in them it’s better. Why it’s so funny to me is because it should say “Aada” but it looks more like “Hella” which means “stove” in Finnish.

***

Next one was something I saw in my head and wanted to draw - I think this one was also done without sketching it at first:

Kinda simple, right? :D I just wanted to draw something with heavy shadows and they’re meant to be watching TV at night. I guess it came out pretty okay.

***

The next two I drew based on one of my old fanfics I wrote years and years ago. I’m a bit annoyed that I decied to draw these into my SKETCHBOOK when I could have used just paper I use for drawing but I guess I didn’t know yet where I was going to end up with these and drew them into the sketchbook because of that. I thought I didn’t sketch these at first but I have found photos of these with sketched with pencil so that means I started sketching my drawings at this point.

So, back to the fanfic, it’s one of the longer ones I wrote (but still not that long even) and set to happen in the late 80s. There was some drama in the story because of Bela’s drug use and Farin was very harsh and Bela left altogether. For some time they had no idea where each of them were but then one very rainy night they both were on a walk at the same time and happened to stumble upon each other for the first time in weeks or so. I can still see those scenes so vividly in my head and here’s my artistic view over those scenes:

Yes. I love drawing stuff like BRICKS.

I have used my Promarkers with the second image, the paper was not the best for them which is why the black looks awful.

What comes to the image... it really annoys me to look at that because how the FUCK that is something I have drawn? And it’s legit based on something I have written. ME??? Like wtf. My aroace ass just can’t handle me writing/drawing fluff like this. I have days when I need to see fluff more than anything and then have to produce the content because can’t find it from anywhere else and my brain is simultaneously like “flufffff 8))))” and “boohoo whyyyyy how staaaaaph D:” because I am so afraid of being connected to what I draw. Like. If I draw or write fluff, it doesn’t mean I would be a romantic person nor allosexual nor alloromantic, right? Because I can also draw a comic or write a story about a murderer and it doesn’t make me a psychopath either. It’s the exact same thing.

And in fact: I had a comic book character who was called Micro the Insane Murderer because that’s what he was. Also I once wrote a story about a serial killer but she was also insane. But for whatever reason it’s much harder to show people fluff I have written or drawn than my fictional serial killer stuff... I guess people just easier assume that you’re an allo, thanks to anormativity, but usually don’t think you’re a psychopath just because your OC is :D

***

The last one is the comic that has a Halloween theme as it was around Halloween and the person I talked with still wanted to see/read something where Farin is the vampire instead. So here’s something that was my first B/F comic in 7 years. I didn’t remember how to do pretty much anything anymore and the coloring is a bit off, and I was really still just trying to figure out how to do all this again :D

At that point I think my head was still filled with fanfiction stuff so the comic also is full of (hurt/comfort) drama - and a long-ass “backstory”. You can see that from this on I have moved to more humorous stories. Sometimes I draw occassional fluffy comics when I’m really on that weird mood (usually 1-2 days/month thanks to the uterus and hormones), but my main focus is on the humour and I wish to make people laugh.

But that’s about it. I think I have now posted everything here, the newer ones I have posted here after drawing them since 2019 but this post is the “missing link” between those old old comics and the newer stuff :D Then I of course have all the other traditional art like potraits and such I did in 2009-2012 which I have never shown here. Maybe I should post those too?

#mcrmadness draws #my dä comics #my fub comics #my dä drawings #dä fanart #die ärzte #belafarin #my OLD dä fanart

[ohjaimelannister]

Do you think Hoppers actually dead though?

O K A Y.

I’ve been looking for an excuse to pull all of this together so here we go! NO Anon, I do not think that Chief James Hopper has gone and died on us. There’s no REAL evidence (there are easter eggs though) however and the Duffer Brothers could still pull the rug out from under us but hey.

No I do not believe that Hopper is dead. Although some things can be interpreted as pretty final and if the Duffers really kill him off I will never watch this show again, because it’s horrifically SHITTY writing and im already super tired of that this year lmao.

One - There is no body? We were never showed a body or what’s left of one? We have seen bodies for Benny, Barb, Bob and Billy (and even people who were in it for like 5 minutes). THEY EVEN PRODUCED A FAKE WILL WHEN THEY WANTED US TO THINK HE WAS DEAD. THEY AREN’T AGAINST SHOWING US BODIES!!! Which brings me to my next point!

Two - They also aren’t against to showing us death. Lots of gory detailing death, WHOEVER it is. Billy died horrifically but you saw it even though hes a kid. Bob got ripped to shreds.  And even those dudes at the beginning of S3 died horribly? They still showed it. Hopper’s death??? It cuts away. You see NOTHING. AT. ALL. There aren’t even any remnants OF a body where he was standing, and Joyce goes down there and LOOKS. Surely shed find something? Gooey grossness like the bodies at the beginning? Nope. You could argue that they’d be against showing us the death of a beloved hero and a main character but. Again. Bob was beloved and arguably one of the sweetest characters in the show and he was ripped to bits in front of us and Joyce. Billy was a kid for all intents and purposes, still he died a horrible death. Not one bit of that was cut away.

Three - If you look in the shots hes not on the platform when the thing explodes????? like at all? Either that’s badly shot or its done deliberately because he’s just not there anymore? There’s the portal to the Upside Down and you can see a ladder in the shot too, so maybe he either went into the Upside Down or down the ladder and got caught by the russians?? We just don’t know.

Four - We see the devastated Eleven and the aftermath of what happened at Star Court. Then it jumps to three months later? Okay, odd that were not shown anymore of the grieving or the funeral. Then of course Eleven read the SPEECH. Think about the end of it specifically and about LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN 3 INCHES!! You can see from one of the final shots of Star Court that the gates not CLOSED. It was healing but it never fully closes. So Hopper could be in the Upside Down, or travelled through it to Russia on the other end?? Who knows. Point is, they included this line at the end for a reason. Whether the reason is that hes actually dead and they’re just being profound or that its a hint about his fate, its meaningful.

Five - During the ending the song HEROES by Peter Gabriel plays, this is the same song that was placed over them finding Wills fake body, and after all the goodbyes and the ‘speech’ where it ends with “keep the door open three inches” well. Come on.

Six - Then it cuts to Russia and you hear the “not the american” line, and Hopper was called “the American” throughout the series by that Russian baddie. Should I start waving Red Flags here or???? Then again, a lot of people are saying this could be Brenner. Okay I 100% get your logic Im with ya, and for a few days I’ve also thought it could be Brenner. But here’s the thing. Elevens powers. Brenner makes her use them to spy on a russian man in Season 1. Hinting that there’s more going on here than just super powers, kids and other dimensions. Don’t forget that in the 80s the world was in the grip of the Cold War, and things would have started reaching a boiling point for this long before 1985 when it ‘officially’ began. We were never given any answers about why Brenner was spying on this man, or even Russia. Or even if he WAS spying for the US. Nothing, it’s a throwaway scene. Or IS IT? Russians show up in Season Three somehow knowing about the Upside Down, having failed at their own attempts to open a gate in Russia. They somehow know that its Hawkins they need to be in to successfully open their gate and potentially get monsters to use, oh I don’t know, in a WAR???? How would they have known any of this information to begin with?? Oh I wonder. We were told all about Brenner being alive and out there in season two (and we were never told WHERE and this is not referenced again), but as far as I can remember Eleven has never shared this with anyone else, even though it’s completely RELEVANT information. And as far as I can remember (its been a hell of an emotional few days) I dont think were given any explanation about how the Russians knew about the Upside Down, Hawkins or anything. So maybe the reason they knew is BECAUSE BRENNER is the one giving them their directives? Because hes worked for THEM this whole time???

Seven -  Interestingly also Eleven lost her powers? JEEZ ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT!!! Because the first thing shed use them for is to look for Hopper even if she was told he was dead. Shed look, 100% for the man who saved her, gave her a home, loved her, worried for her, cared for her like she was his goddamn OWN. Conveniently though now SHE CANT??? Interesting.

Eight -  And now. There’s the voicemail message. In one of the episodes (my brains so fried I cant remember which one sorry) Murrays gives out his landline number, and when you call it you can hear him give a message to Joyce. You can listen to it here.  You can tell this is after season three, because why would he talk to Joyce Byers? Surely if he was trying to reach someone for information it would be Hopper?  “I have an update, its best if we speak in person" an update??? About what??? Why is he coercing with joyce???  Notice how he says “it’s not good or bad but its SOMETHING” and then says “we’ll talk about it in person” (or something like that) why would he be calling joyce with an ‘update’?????????? AND ON WHAT EXACTLY?? INTERESTING!!

Nine - Theres this interview with the cast specifically ABOUT Hopper, the death and the post credits scene. And I love David Harbour but, you cannot lie for shit my angel.

Ten - Millie has said in an interview “ Her dads gone, or so she thinks” COME ON.

Eleven - Again WE KNOW DAVID HARBOUR IS LIKE THE MARK RUFFALO OF STRANGER THINGS. And hes bad at keeping shit to himself. Hes already told us at the end of last YEAR, literally a month after they finished filming season three that the Duffers have told him the ending to the series as a whole. Why would any creator do this for a man they have effectively just fired, because his character died? Why would they tell him? They wouldn’t.

Tweleve - Again. David Harbour, bless his heart, I think its trying to give us HINTS and bread crumbs to follow. Last week he changed his instagram photo from Hopper in S1 to the number 6. Odd. Today he changed it to the number one :

Twelve continued - Basically if he changed it to an 8 next, we know hes trying to hint at Murrays voicemail message and this is a clue for Hopper. Because why else would he bother?

Thirteen - Theres also this screenshot from Cara Buonos instagram where she literally SAYS about him being in Kamchatka, and uses the Russian word for PRISON. (Of course this could just be a joke between the actors

Fourteen - Theres also the fact, which is not evidence mind you, that its incredibly shitty writing to have both the men that Joyce Byers loved/loves to die in front of her? And actually having her put the action in motion that kills the man she loves? No. I wont accept that. And weve been shown her non willingness to believe in peoples death, everyone and their mothers told her Will was dead and she was being crazy. Did she listen? No. And she got her boy back. Will she think once she has a clear head that Hoppers dead? Maybe. Which is why she asks Murray to investigate. Hence the Voicemail Message.

Fifteen - Its also incredibly shitty and hard to swallow, for Elevens sake too. I mentioned already how much she loves Hopper and finally got a true parent in him. Do you honestly think they’d put her through all of that just to lose him NOW? Like i said, its convienent how shes lost her powers at this very crucial moment.

Sixteen - DAVID. HARBOURS. BEARD. RIGHT. NOW.

And SEVENTEEN -Just in case y’all are having trouble with any of that it looks like David Harbour has let sorta slip (my god I fucking ADORE THIS MAN LET ME TELL YOU). I dont know how reliable this is mind you because its not coming from a BIG source, but HERE he hints at knowing who the American is, after telling everyone else (see the interview above ^^) that he doesnt know and he cant say anything. 

‘During an interview with David Harbour, I attempted to delicately get around the fate of Jim Hopper. Harbour, however, came right out and gave it to me straight. “This is the question I’m going to have to dance around–” I began, only for Harbour to interrupt me and ask, “The ending?” “Right,” I said. “Is there a way you can talk about the future of Hopper without…” I trailed off here, only for Harbour to ask: “Well, did you see the post-credits scene?”I had, of course. And so I straight-up asked: is that Hopper behind the door? According to Harbour, that’s the most likely scenario. Throughout the season, the main Russian baddie refers to Hopper as “the American”, and having another Russian refer to the mysterious prisoner in the same way was the big giveaway.Of course, knowing that Hopper is alive, and knowing how he survived and ended up in Russia, are two different things. We’ll have to wait for season 4 to get that answer. And we’ll have to wait to see how things unfold from there. Will a big chunk of season 4 involve Hopper escaping that Russian base, and trying to get back to America? Time will tell. One thing is clear: Hopper still has a long journey ahead of him; not just physically, but emotionally.’

SO, basically Jim Hopper has not left us, Joyce or Eleven.  And if the Duffer Brothers have done all this to screw with us, well. Im not gonna be responsible for what I do.

I FEEL JIM HOPPER IN THIS RUSSIAN PRISON TONIGHT!!!

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!!!!!!!!

#Stranger Things #Jim Hopper #David Harbour #Jopper #strangerthingsspoilers

[earlgreymon]

Double Pops

🎪 reposting for minor edit and to celebrate that da: will return from hiatus!!

turns out i hate studying so i wrote down the mimato idea immediately lol. the idea is from here, water coaster being the prompt. i don’t know how i end up with a very mild sexual innuendo.

double pops is a popsicle with two sticks, to anyone who wasn’t really familiar with the term. you’ll understand later why i use the title... i think.

the taiora version of this funfair drabble series can be found on the previous post. enjoy!

___

Yamato observed as Taichi and Sora started again with their usual banter. The group just finished riding the water coaster (which certainly made them half-soaked) and Sora was trying so hard to make her boyfriend sit on the bench so that she could wipe him with a mini towel she brought from home—always the prepared one.

He always found the couple amusing; Sora being more like a mother than a lover, and Taichi being a never-ending pain in the ass to whoever he interacted with.

Mimi approached him after she and Hikari purchased a group photo of them in the ride. Without Yamato realizing, she stood beside him already. “Huh? What are you looking at—” she followed his gaze only to find such an unsurprising scene. “Oh. What happens now?”

“Typical. She wants him to calm down while he’s dying for a popsicle.”

“And that is wrong because…?”

“Because his stomach is already stuffed with a giant candy floss, a dozen of churros, and one and a half hot dogs—the half being his sister’s.”

“Ew, carbs,” Mimi groused, putting a disturbed face for a second. “But popsicle is actually not a bad idea. Can I have one?”

Of course she didn’t have to ask for his permission. That was just another way to ask for him to treat her.

He didn’t mind in the slightest, anyway. “Okay.”

There was another thing he absolutely minded, though, when he turned to follow Mimi who already took off for a cold dessert. Yamato glared indignantly and quicken his steps so that he walked in front of her, with one hand holding her wrist. It probably looked normal for other people, but not for Mimi. His gesture seemed abrupt somehow, and the gap between them was so thin she almost bumped into his back when he suddenly pulled her.

“Yamato?” she startled. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“You know you’re a terrible liar, right?”

He didn’t answer, so she stopped. With their hands linked to one another, it was natural for him to follow suit. He turned only to be greeted by his girlfriend’s sour face. She disconnected their clasp so that she could place her two hands grumpily in each side of her hips, demanding an explanation.

This time, Yamato wouldn’t back down. “Mimi, we are not discussing this unless you want to wear the park’s official t-shirt.”

“Hello no! It’ll cost me too much for such an ugly, unfashionable dress.”

“Then just stand behind me for—I don’t know—the rest of the day, okay?”

“Why is it so hard for you to explain briefly?!”

Yamato sighed, weighing his option. As he gave in, he lowered his voice so it would only the two of them who could listen. “Your clothes are too thin.”

“What?”

“Your clothes, for God’s sake! Everyone can see through it!”

That was when Mimi finally looked down. It was a hot summer day, so she wore a thin white t-shirt along with shorts. She was sitting in the first row on the previous ride, so she got the biggest splash that seeped into her clothes and left some wet stains in the shape of her body. She could even see her own underwear beneath them, and with such a different color with her outer, it should be imaginable how obvious it was. Her necklace couldn’t even hide them properly.

“Oh,” she perplexed. “Well… I can just dry it out—”

“Mimi, what the hell?!” She initially intended to squeeze only the edge of her shirt, but Yamato stopped her just before she could lift her damp clothes higher than her belly button. “At least wait until we found the girl’s toilet, for crying out loud!”

Mimi watched as Yamato’s face filled with annoyance. It was kind of fun seeing him so furious, actually. She knew he was just being protective.

Finally, she chuckled. “Okay. But your methods are ineffective. I prefer to walk this way.”

She grabbed his shoulders to shift him, and when she faced his broad back again, she circled both of her hands in his waist and glued herself to him tightly. Knowing that there was no longer a gap between them even the tiniest one, and with a certain bulgy feeling in the middle of his back, Yamato could feel his face grew hotter. He was so embarrassed that his steps were stiff thereafter.

And just like a psychic, Mimi hid her sly smile in his neck. “Your face must be as red as a boiled crab now.”

“Shut up.”

“Funny how I also wear your favorite red lingerie currently, but you should already see it through anyway.”

“GODDAMIT, MIMI—”

#digimon #drabble #by me #mimato #yamato ishida #tachikawa mimi #poor yamato and his soft heart #fic

[marshmallow-phd]

Secret in His Eyes

Spinoff of Sins of the Father

Genre: Mafia Au

Pairing: Luhan x Reader

Summary: A vacation exploring China’s famous city was supposed to be relaxing. When you witness a horrifying murder, you instead find yourself in police custody, unable to run. Trying to stay alive, you meet Luhan, and you believe you can trust him. You never imagined that he might be the one you should be running from.

Part: Prologue I 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I Final

**

Luhan wanted to curse up a storm. Only your presence kept his mouth at bay.

“Do you realize how long we’ve been searching for you?” Tao snarled.

At his harsh tone, Luhan caught you shrinking into the bark of the tree. No wonder you rejected him. You were still terrified of anyone who wasn’t him. The fake him, at least. And even then, you were still cautious.

“Sorry, boss,” Luhan artificially apologized.

Tao blinked at his emphasis, confusion pinching his face until his eyes landed on you. Then it dawned on him.

“That’s right. You’d better be sorry,” he snickered. Luhan threw him a death glare when you weren’t looking. The punk was enjoying the power play a little too much.

“(y/n), you’d better go back inside,” Luhan told her gently. She nodded slowly, pushing off the trunk and giving Tao a wide berth as she darted for the tree line and back to the house.

Now that they were alone, Tao tilted his head and scoffed at the older leader. “You’re still dressing like that?”

Luhan shrugged as he shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned up against the tree that you had previously occupied. “It’s comfortable.”

“Sure,” Tao scoffed. Narrowing his eyes, he commented, “You’re taking too much enjoyment in this.”

“Maybe I am,” Luhan snapped. But they both knew that he meant it differently than what Tao was implying. That maybe what he enjoyed was not having to be the one in charge when he was with you.

The sting of you telling him that you wouldn’t stay with him in the end was still fresh, made worse by the fact that he could sense you felt the connection too. He could see the attraction and the longing in your eyes whenever he met your gaze. But you were smarter than him. You could see farther than him, knowing that anything started between you two couldn’t last forever. That didn’t mean, however, that he didn’t want to try anyway.

He should know better than this. He should know already that even the happiest memories would cause pain later on down the line. How many nights did he spend cursing the air after she had left? How many days had he been haunted by the sound of her laugh? The way she called his name?

Over time the pain of those memories had faded. It didn’t hurt as much if they happened to cross his mind and he’d hardened himself more to the disappointments of the world. Nothing could touch him and he had no weaknesses. How easily he fell back into the trap.

Was he simply doomed to fall for the person who wouldn’t stay in his life?

“Luhan?”

Pulled from his self-loathing, Luhan snapped his head up. “What?”

Tao rolled his eyes. “I was trying to find you for a reason and it wasn’t to interrupt your little game of make believe.”

“Did you find him?” Luhan asked eagerly, ignoring the little swipe.

“Not exactly,” Tao muttered. From his back pocket, he pulled out a small tan envelope. Luhan took it eagerly, ripping out the contents to see what demands would be asked of him.

But there were no demands.

Inside was one picture, one photo recently developed. The image it held made his blood boil and knuckles turn white from how hard he was gripping the edges.

From the vague clues he could pick up on, the setting of the scene was an old warehouse or some equally grimy place. But that hardly mattered. It was the true subject of the photograph that was the real focus of his rage.

In the very center to drawn the eye in was his missing lieutenant. Blood pooled all around him and – even though he was lying on his stomach – a fresh bullet hole right between his eyes was clearly visible, emphasized by the blank, dead look in his wide open eyes.

“When did you find this?” Luhan asked through gritted teeth.

“About an hour ago,” Tao answered. “It came right to the front door. No one saw who dropped it off or when exactly it arrived.”

Fire was roaring in Luhan now. His defenses were slipping. He used to be untouchable. Now look at him. Not even his own home was safe anymore. “How could someone have gotten past the guards?”

“We don’t know,” Tao said. By the growl in his voice, he was equally pissed about the breach, perhaps even more so since security fell under his division. “They have to be watching the house, learning the shift schedules and area rotations. There’s no other explanation for how they achieved this.”

“Mix it up then!” Luhan ordered. “And double the bodies patrolling the grounds. I don’t want anything like this happening again. Until we can find out who-” He stopped, his eyes having drifted down to the mocking gift in his hand once more.

“What is it?” Tao leaned forward to try and see what had made Luhan stop mid-sentence.

In the corner of the envelope was a small blue stamp, easily missed if your mind was somewhere else. Lifting the paper up for a closer look, Luhan frowned as he inspected the wording that made up the blue ink.

“Did you really look at this before you came to find me?” Luhan asked in an eerily quiet voice.

Tao shook his head. “Once we saw what was inside, I went to find you. Yixing was the one who told us that he thought he’d seen you go out the back.”

“This is a police issued envelope,” Luhan held it up for Tao to see. “That’s their official letterhead on here. You can just get these anywhere.”

“So the police are behind this?” Tao questioned. He shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense. I mean, sure, some of them are corrupt but they wouldn’t go this far and then leave something that points right back to them.”

“I don’t think it’s the department itself that’s doing this,” Luhan agreed. “Whoever is behind this – behind all of this – is either under the police force but doing this on their own or they just want us think it’s the police.”

“There’s too much gray area with those scenarios. I don’t like it.”

“I don’t either. But I want to end this once and for all and this is our only lead so far.” Fueled by his own declaration, Luhan shoved the envelope into his back pocket and stormed off towards the house, ripping off his jacket in the process. Until this was over, Lin would have to disappear. Right now, he needed to focus on being Luhan, leader of the underground world.

**

He was mad at you. Or he got in trouble. Or maybe he was mad at you because he got in trouble. Not that it was your fault. It was his own decision to take you out of the house.

It’d been nearly two weeks since Lin confessed to you. Or… could it be considered a confession? Technically, you were the only one who used any sort of words that conveyed true feelings. That you liked it when he was vulnerable and open. All that he’d told you was that you made him feel lighter, like the world wasn’t resting on his shoulders. Was that really the same thing?

Lately the house felt emptier. Each time you ventured out into the hallways, they were deserted, no hired help, no mafia members, not even Lin or Yixing made an appearance. Part of you wondered if you’d been abandoned, but the constant piling up of glasses and dirty dishes that weren’t yours in the kitchen, along with the ever growing pile of empty liquor bottles told you that someone was present around here. Those clues just might have been the only reason you stuck around.

Well, that… and the pathetic little emotion called hope. Hope that he’d knock on your door or walk around the corner. If you saw him again… you just might be tempted to….

Blowing air out of your lips, you mentally shook yourself. Were you only thinking that way because you hadn’t seen him in so long?

You’d promised Lin that you wouldn’t run away from him for now. So why did it feel like he’d run away from you? It didn’t feel like things had ended badly when you were interrupted, but you had no idea what had happened after you left. It was possible that he was ordered to stay away, you supposed. That just made your heart throb in pain.

But that didn’t explain the lack of people you saw recently. And sitting there in that kitchen, you felt the loneliness more than ever. You wished that anyone would walk through the entryway just remind you that you weren’t the last living being on earth.

“You’re brave to be out here, aren’t you?”

You jumped at the sudden voice, nearly knocking over your glass and spilling water all over the island counter.

The blonde higher up from the forest wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you’d asked for company. Obviously taking pleasure in having scared you, he was smirking as he leaned up against the doorframe. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his slacks and his eyes shined with a mischievousness that had you squirming in your seat.

“I was just hungry,” you answered in a small voice.

He laughed at you. “No need to be so scared. I won’t hurt you.”

Somehow, you found that very hard to believe. Finishing up your meal, you wiped your mouth and headed over to the sink, hoping that he would leave as you rinsed off your plate.

No such luck.

Instead, he came right into your personal space, leaning back up against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m Tao, by the way.”

You barely glanced over at him. Whispering, you replied, “(y/n).”

He scoffed at you. “You’re very different from what I was expecting.”

“What exactly were your expectations?” you asked bravely, immediately regretting it. Engaging with him meant he stayed longer, kept the conversation going. Then again, he might have just kept pestering you until you gave in anyway.

“Considering who you’ve attracted, I figured you’d be feistier or more challenging,” he somewhat explained. “But you’re kind of like a mouse. Weak and easily frightened. Not exactly the ‘strong’ type.”

That was it. Practically throwing the dish down in the sink, you turned to the mobster. “Excuse you! Just because I don’t throw punches or yell and scream or shoot guns doesn’t mean that I’m not a strong or valid person! I don’t care if you’re a leader here or not, you don’t get to decide what I am!”

“Ah!” Tao leaned in close, smiling at you in a wicked fashion. “There it is. Now that I can see him falling for.”

“Falling for?” Was he talking about Lin?

Tao chuckled as he straightened up. “Oh, yeah. He can deny it all he wants, but Luhan was definitely caught feelings for you. Which just makes him an-”

“Luhan? Did you mean Lin?” It had to be a slip of the tongue… right? The names were similar....

Clearing his throat, Tao backtracked. “Um, yeah, that’s what I meant. I meant Lin. Not Luhan.”

But you didn’t believe him. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t. You once were told there were three leaders here and you’ve managed to run into two of them. But the third one, the one who was at the very top and who owned this mansion, you’d never even caught a glimpse of him. Or had you caught more than a glimpse and never realized it?

Too many coincidences and moments were lining up. Like the way Yixing relented to Lin or the fact that he insisted that wasn’t his room, but what else could have been doing there? And the way he looked at that woman’s picture and told that story….

No, it wasn’t just a simple slip of the tongue. And you were played for a sap.

Whirling on your heels, you stormed out of the kitchen and down the halls. Each door you came to you swung open, searching for the man who had lied to you this entire time. He was never behind the barriers but all that did was narrow it down. He couldn’t only be in so many places.

“You can’t just go anywhere you feel like!” Tao yelled after you, capturing your upper arm and slamming your back up against the wall. A whimper echoed in your throat from the impact, stinging your shoulder blades. “Listen here, mouse, you were told-”

“Tao, what the hell do you think you’re doing!”

You flinched at the shouts of the newcomer. It turned out you didn’t have to go looking for him anymore. The feared leader had found you.

Letting you go, Tao stepped back, facing Lin- no, not Lin. “She was snooping around-”

“I was looking for you,” you snarled, cutting Tao off.

With a look of defeat in his eyes, Luhan motioned with his head for you to follow him. Tao rolled his eyes and walked away in the opposite direction. Swallowing back the humiliating tears, you walked behind Luhan down the hall and into a large study that you assumed was where he’d been hiding these days.

With the door closed behind you, he rounded the oversized desk, taking a small, square package that had been sitting there and tossing it into the corner.

“What’s that?” you asked quietly, not quite ready to face what you were really doing here.

Turning to face you, Luhan sighed. Gone were the t-shirts and bomber jackets that had made him seem so normal. Now his once messy hair was slicked back off his face and the white button down was wrinkled and haphazardly tucked into his pants. Even with the clear disregard of how put together he didn’t look, he was still so different, like the mafia leader he was pretending not to be.

“Just a random package that showed up,” he muttered, not even bothering to look at you. His gaze stayed trained on the patterned carpet as he asked his own question. “Why were you looking for me?”

You answered with a question of your own. “Why didn’t you just kill me? It would be so easy to just get the one witness out of the way! Did you never really believe me when I said I didn’t know anything? Or did you just want to see how much fun you could have playing with me?”

“I never played with you!” Marching up to you, he grabbed your shoulders in a desperate attempt to cling to the lies. “Yes, Lin was someone I made up, but I wasn’t lying out in that forest!”

“I can’t believe you!” Tears stung at your eyes as you stared at the person you’d thought you’d fallen for but really had no clue who he was. “After everything! After every chance you had to tell me the truth, you still lied! How can I believe you now?”

Though his grip remained strong, his voice faltered. “Because I’m begging you.”

You shook your head. “That’s not eno-”

BOOM!

#exo #exo mafia au #exo mafia!au #luhan x reader #luhan #lu han #kris wu #wu yifan #huang zitao #z.tao #tao #exo gang au #exo gang!au #exo series #Secret in His Eyes

[hanscom]

meet me at the moon [rated: T]

Summary: The Losers get married, to the best of their ability.

Written for the @poly-losers-club Fic Exchange, but mostly for @poetromantics​.

Beverly was admitted to the hospital on a Monday.

It was nothing serious. No, really. Three stitches, max. But Eddie got freaked out by all the blood gushing from the gash on her forehead and insisted on driving her to the ER, full-speed. The others followed at a more reasonable pace, but eventually the calm afternoon waiting room was full of life: six grown men hovering around her, visibly stressed in a variety of ways, from Eddie pacing the room in fast, flurried strides to Richie sprawling across a whole row of seats and complaining loudly about whoever it was that banned smoking indoors. It was enough to give Beverly a headache. But that also might have been the head wound.

It took half an hour for her to be called back. The bleeding had stopped by then, but it had crusted around her shirt collar and itched like crazy. She just wanted to go home and change, but Stan was already guiding her out of her seat and towards the waiting nurse. The nurse didn’t comment on Stan’s presence — probably because Stan just looked so no-nonsense, all intense eyes and heavy frown — but she paused when the others rushed to join them.

“I’m sorry,” she said, sounding uncertain. “Only family is allowed in the room.”

“I’m her brother,” Richie announced instantly.

“Yeah,” Bill chimed in without hesitation. “Me, too.”

“So am I,” Eddie said, but he didn’t sound too sure about it. He’d never been a great liar.

Mike elbowed him and said, “I am, too.”

“He’s adopted,” Richie was quick to add.

“We all are,” Bill agreed.

“Except Ben,” said Mike.

Ben looked startled by the sound of his own name, but he recovered fast. He’d gotten good at playing along with Richie’s schemes over the years. “I’m her husband,” he said. As if to prove it, he moved to Beverly’s free side and looped an arm around her. The way she leaned into him was not entirely for show.

“We’re family,” Stan told the nurse. His strong voice left no room for argument.

The nurse wavered.

Richie pulled himself up to his full height and looked down at her. He didn’t look nearly as intimidating as he probably thought he did. “Listen, lady. You can either let me into that room, or you can leave me here to make a scene. Your call.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. He put a hand on Richie’s arm as if to settle him. “Please don’t get him started,” he whispered urgently to the nurse.

The nurse looked across the room and made eye contact with the receptionist, who had been watching the entire scene with interest. She shrugged and popped her gum. The nurse seemed to take this as permission. She sighed, straighten her clipboard, and led their entourage through the heavy doors and down a blindingly white hallway. She settled Beverly into a hospital bed, took her vitals, and assured them the doctor would see them soon. She didn’t seem happy about it, exactly, but she did smile when Ben thanked her, so Beverly didn’t work up the energy to feel bad.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Riche threw himself onto the doctor’s stool with a groan. “I hate hospitals,” he announced.

“You didn’t have to come,” Bev pointed out. “I’m fine.”

Richie glared at her. “You have a gaping head wound,” he said. “I can practically see your brain matter.” Eddie gagged, then punched Richie’s arm in retaliation. Richie, unrepentant, went on. “Besides, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I stayed home watching Netflix while you withered away in a hospital bed?”

Stan shushed him sharply and looked around, as if they might have missed some stranger cramming into the room with them. “Don’t say boyfriend right now,” he admonished. “We’re her brothers, remember?”

Richie made a face. “It was the best I could do on the spot. Figured it was easier than trying to explain the concept of polyamory to some poor ER nurse.”

“It was a good call,” Bill assured him.

“Bill, please stop encouraging Richie’s stupid ideas,” Stan sighed, his voice taking on the cadence of someone reciting a line they’ve rehearsed a thousand times. Bill’s endless support of Richie’s constant chaos was a well-worn argument in the Loser household.

“Yes, dear,” Bill said dutifully, but when Stan turned away to fuss with Bev’s bedsheets, he winked in Richie’s direction. Richie blew him a kiss in return.

Mike shook his head. “Can’t you guys act like normal people for twenty minutes?” he asked, but he was grinning about it.

“Normal?” Richie repeated, incredulous. “You expect me to act normally while our poor, sweet girlfriend is confined to a sick bed?”

“Poor, sweet sister,” Stan corrected him, as if he didn’t know it was a lost cause.

Richie threw his hands up. “This is stupid,” he said. “No one’s listening. And besides, it’s not my fault Ben always gets to play husband.”

“You’re the one who said you were her brother first,” Eddie pointed out.

“Yeah, but only because Ben would have blown our cover immediately,” Richie retorted. “He can’t keep his hands to himself for more than twenty seconds.”

Richie, admittedly, had a point. Ben was tactile. He liked to hug, to hold hands, to feel the heat of another person’s skin against his own. Even then, he was standing at Bev’s side, their fingers loosely laced. He smiled self-consciously, but didn’t pull away. “Sorry.”

Bev squeezed his hand. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she said firmly. It wasn’t that Bev preferred his presence. She would have been just as content with Mike at her side, or Stan, or one of the others. But Ben took comfort from standing so close to her, and she would never deny him that.

If it were anyone else, Richie would push the issue. Would dig into the soft spot, would wheedle and whine until he got his way. But it was Ben. They were all a little bit soft for Ben. So Richie just smiled and said, “It’s cool, man. You make a good husband.”

“I’d marry you,” Eddie agreed. The only thing he and Richie never fought about was their mutual affection for Ben Hanscom.

“Me, too,” Mike chimed in. Stan and Bill nodded along.

Bev squeezed his hand again. “I would marry the hell out of you,” she told him softly.

And maybe it was the head injury, but it actually didn’t sound like such a bad idea. They could do it in the backyard. She could make her own dress. They wouldn’t even have to invite anyone. It could be just the seven of them, the way it had always been.

“We should do it,” she said.

Ben looked down at her. He was leaning over the bed, his broad body blocking most of the blaring overhead light. He looked like something straight out of a fantasy. She could so easily picture him at the end of an aisle, dressed to the nines in a fitted suit, eyes brimming with happy tears.

“We should get married,” she said, more sure this time.

There was a pause. Slowly, Richie uncurled from his sprawl and sat up straight. His eyes were suddenly very big behind his glasses. “Someone get the doctor,” he gasped. “I think she might have brain damage.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Eddie chastised, but he glanced uncertainly at Bev like he wasn’t entirely convinced it was a joke at all.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Bev?” Bill asked. He raised his hand and made a peace sign. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Beverly rolled her eyes and started to tell them all that she was just fine, thanks very much, but she was interrupted by a quick knock on the door. It opened, and a middle-aged man in a white coat swept in. If he was surprised to find seven people crammed into one examination room, he didn’t show it. He smiled and introduced himself as Dr. Williams, and then he set to work poking and prodding Beverly’s forehead. The gash there wasn’t very long, but it was deep enough to warrant a few stitches. Beverly had expected that, so she allowed him to clean the wound, numb it, and sew it back together. The entire process took less than ten minutes — just long enough that, by the time the nurse returned to handle her discharge paperwork, the marriage conversation seemed to have been forgotten. Eddie was much calmer now that the wound was bandaged, and Richie had slipped out of the room with Bill to share a cigarette. Stan and Mike were both listening patiently to the nurse’s explanation of how to clean around the stitches without damaging them. Ben was still holding her hand. She wanted to get his attention, to insist that she really had meant it, but it didn’t feel like the right time anymore.

—

Time went on. The stitches dissolved. There was barely even a scar left. Her forehead was still a little tender if she put pressure on it, but otherwise, it was like it never happened.

Beverly still thought about it sometimes, though: the whole marriage thing.

Did she want to be married? She’d never considered it before. It had never felt like a possibility. She’d never really been the kind of kid who dreamed about a big, white wedding. The closest she had ever come was the time they’d put on a pretend ceremony in the underground safety of the clubhouse. She’d been ‘marrying’ Bill back then, which had been nice. She’d worn a crown of flowers that Eddie had picked for her. Stan officiated because he was the only one of them who knew anything about religious ceremonies. Richie walked her down the aisle. Ben cried. Mike snapped a few pictures. They had all pooled their money to get the film developed. One of the better shots was still floating around in a photo album somewhere.

They had probably been too old to play pretend, but maybe that was the thing. Maybe they had all known, deep down, that it hadn’t really been pretend at all.

—

Beverly forgot, on occasion, that her boys knew her as well as she knew them. Even better, sometimes.

She had fully decided to forget about the whole thing. It was a ridiculous idea. She couldn’t marry all of them, after all, not officially. And maybe it made her selfish, but she refused to choose. She wanted them all, equally, forever. A wedding probably wouldn’t change things, but she wasn’t willing to risk it.

And then Ben proposed.

Looking back, she really should have expected it. He had been antsy for days, more so than usual. She had walked into a room more than once to find him huddled up with Stan or Mike or Bill, talking in quiet tones that fell silent the second they noticed her. It was suspicious, sure, but her birthday was coming up. All of the guys got a little weird around her birthday — except Richie, who was always weird and couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.

Except this one, apparently. Richie woke her up one morning by crash-landing in her bed, covering her face with wet, sloppy kisses. Bill stood off to the side, laughing at her misery. She accepted the attack by going completely limp. Richie was as eager and excitable as a puppy, and sometimes the only defense against him was to ignore him until he got bored and moved on.

But he was particularly persistent that morning. And then, eventually, Bill joined them in the bed, tugging her free from the covers and coaxing her into consciousness with promises of breakfast. “Mike’s cooking,” he said. “He made your favorite.”

It was sort of weird, because her favorite was usually reserved for post-fight apologies. She tried to remember if she’d argued with any of them recently, but she couldn’t remember. Richie was still kissing her face in quick bursts, and it was hard to think when she felt surrounded by both of them, warm and comfortable and sleep-slow.

They eventually maneuvered her out of the bed and into the bathroom. There was a pile of clothes waiting for her. Stan must have picked them out, because everything coordinated perfectly, down to the socks. That was another weird thing. Stan didn’t take over her wardrobe unless she seemed particularly tired or stressed, which she didn’t think she had. But it was still a nice gesture, so she got dressed, brushed her teeth and her hair, and then wandered down the hall and into the kitchen.

The whole house smelled like bacon and vanilla, but the scent was so strong there that her mouth started to water reflexively. Mike was standing at the stove, an apron draped from his neck. He was shirtless underneath it. She crossed the room and stood behind him, arms around his waist, cheek against his back. She could hear his strong heartbeat and the steady rhythm of his breathing. When he said, “Good morning, beautiful,” she felt the deep rumble of his voice.

“Morning.” She kissed his bare back, between his shoulder blades, and then released him. Eddie was sitting on the counter, his feet dangling. She patted his knee and they shared a smile. And then Stan was guiding her to the table, where a fresh cup of coffee was waiting for her. It was already doctored to perfection, perfectly sweet. She took a long, grateful sip. Richie and Bill and Ben were gathered around the table in their usual places, watching her. She wasn’t used to so much attention. Sharing a life with six other people meant there were at least six other topics of conversation at any given time. Now, though, they were all looking at her like she was the only person in the room. She slowly lowered her coffee mug. “Guys,” she said warily. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Bill said, too quickly.

Richie feigned hurt, but he wasn’t very convincing about it. “Can’t we do something nice for you without having an ulterior motive?”

Bev considered the question. It was technically possible, but they were all staring at her as if waiting for something, and there was absolutely something ulterior about that. “You guys are being weird,” she accused.

“Richie’s always weird,” Eddie offered.

“It’s not just Richie,” she countered, casting an accusatory glance around the kitchen. None of them met her gaze for more than a few seconds except for Stan, who was cool as a cucumber, like always.

“We do have something to discuss,” he said, as if that wasn’t perfectly clear, but he raised his hand to cut her off when she opened her mouth to ask what the hell he was talking about. “Breakfast first, okay? Then we’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

Beverly hated being left out of the loop, but at the very least none of them seemed angry or upset. Anxious, maybe, but mostly they all looked excited. Richie was practically vibrating in his seat. Bill’s grin was huge. She caught Eddie and Mike sharing a glance, both of them seeming pleased as punch. Ben hadn’t said a word all morning, but when they made eye contact, he winked at her. The kitchen felt warm and welcome. Stan was waiting patiently for an answer, but there was a smile playing around the corner of his mouth, like even he couldn’t fight off his good mood. She sighed, but offered a nod. She could be patient. Probably.

Breakfast dragged on. The boys were usually useless at hiding things from her, but that morning they were all equally tight-lipped, refusing to steer the conversation away from mindless morning chatter. Beverly tried to listen, but she found herself zoning out more than once. Maybe it made her a bad partner, but she didn’t care about the weather or Bruce Willis’ new action movie. She would never say that out loud, of course, but they probably knew anyway. She wasn’t participating much in the banter. She was mostly staring at her plate full of french toast, wondering what the hell might be coming.

Nothing could have prepared her for the ring.

It was like a magic trick. One minute, the boys were all gathered around the table, chattering amongst themselves. And then she blinked, and there was Ben, kneeling beside her chair. No one was speaking. She couldn’t even hear their breathing over the blood rushing suddenly through her ears. Ben was saying something, but she couldn’t hear that, either. All she could do was look back and forth between his moving mouth and his outstretched hand, where the delicate silver band was pinched between his thumb and forefinger. It was inset with a single large diamond, and surrounded on either side by three smaller gems, all different colors. There were seven stones total. Her heart was pounding.

Ben’s lips stopped moving. He was staring at her, looking more and more uncertain by the second. Had he already asked? God, she’d totally missed it.

“Say it again,” she croaked. She needed to hear it.

Ben smiled, somewhere between self-conscious and unbearably fond. “Beverly Marsh,” he said, his sweet voice trembling. “Will you marry us?”

Beverly launched herself at him. He was already unbalanced on one knee, and the force of the impact brought him to the ground. He shouted, and there was a flurry of amused noise from the others, but Beverly held firm and pressed her mouth to every bare inch of his face she could reach. “Yes,” she gasped. She didn’t have to think about it. She’d done nothing but think about it. For months. “Yes, yes, oh my God, yes.”

Richie’s face appear in the periphery. He had knelt down beside them. “I think that’s a yes, bro,” he said, his big mouth beaming. Bev released Ben only to turn onto him, grabbing him by the shoulders and yanking him in for another fast series of kisses. Bill was next, and then Mike. Stan helped her to her feet and then drew her into his arms, slowing her frenzied attack into something softer. By the time she was passed on to Eddie, she had settled. They didn’t kiss but she held him for a long time, cheek to cheek. It felt wet. She realized they were both crying.

And then there was Ben again, back on his feet. He looped his arms around her and drew her against his broad body. “You mean it?” he asked softly.

“Of course I do.” Beverly didn’t think she had ever meant anything more. “I love you.” Except maybe that.

Ben picked up her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit. The gems glittered and gleamed under the light. She turned her hand this way and that, throwing the light, unable to tear her eyes away.

She was getting married. Holy shit, she was getting married.

—

As it turned out, planning a wedding was fun when seven people and no paperwork were involved. Everyone had a job. Mike would take the pictures. Stan was going to officiate. Bill and Ben spent long hours in the backyard, draping fairy lights around trees and along the gutters. Eddie made a thousand trips across the city, taking on every last errand in earnest. Richie mostly just stayed out of the way. It worked.

Bev set immediately to work designing her own wedding dress, but she drew the line at making six suits. Most of the boys already had something to wear, but Eddie’s suit jacket was too small and Richie had never worn formalwear in his life, so a month before the big day, Bev kicked them out of the house and refused to let them return in anything less than a tuxedo. They were gone for a couple hours, and then Richie had swanned through the house in an admittedly well-tailored suit, looking proud and pleased. He claimed the whole experience hadn’t even been that bad, especially when he had convinced Eddie to join him in the fitting room — said, of course, with an emphatic wriggle of his eyebrows. Eddie squawked a few token protests, insisting that was not what happened, but the blush that flared across his face really said it all.

The days ticked down. Some felt like a dream, and some felt like stark, terrifying reality. Beverly asked herself every day if she was ready. Every day, she knew she was.

And then, suddenly, inexplicably, it was time.

Beverly woke up alone in her own bedroom. She dressed herself, dotted on some makeup, and pinned up her hair. Somewhere in the rest of the house, the boys were dragging on their suits. She wished she could be with them, could fix their lapels and straighten their ties, but Stan was a stickler for tradition. Apparently it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, even if it was a fake wedding. Beverly personally thought a wedding with six grooms could stand to break a few traditions, but Stan insisted. 

There was no music to guide her down the aisle. Richie had busted the speakers out of his boombox, and the dog that lived next door barked relentlessly when there was too much noise. So, instead, when Beverly finally opened the back door that morning, she descended the stairs into the yard in silence. Her bare feet made quiet shifting noises against the carpet of grass. Her dress dragged the ground with a soft whisper. The boys were standing in a line, wearing black suits and ties of varying color. It reminded her of her ring, of all the different gems there. She stared at the six of them, all so different from one another. They were beautiful on their own, but all of them together was enough to stop her heart.

Richie started crying almost immediately. That set off Mike, who clung to Bill as if he couldn’t bear to hold himself up under the weight of all the emotion. Bill’s eyes were shiny when he looked at her. Eddie wasn’t looking at her at all, his head ducked down, his shoulders trembling. Even Stan made a noise suspiciously like a sniffle. The only one of them who kept it together was Ben, and that was only because he was staring at her, wide-eyed, as if everything was finally starting to sink in.

“Getting cold feet?” she asked softly, approaching him. 

He reached out with surprising speed, gathering her into his arms. “Never,” he said, and then kissed her with so much passion she sagged against him, knees weak.

Beside them, Stan cleared his throat.

“Ah, leave ‘em alone, Staniel,” Richie goaded. “We’re newlyweds.”

“Not yet, we’re not,” Stan said primly. He gently pried Beverly away from Ben and gave them each a stern look that quickly melted into fondness. “Dearly beloved,” he began when he was satisfied they would keep their hands off one another. “We are gathered here today—”

Beverly couldn’t help her giggle. There was something funny about Stan giving the whole speech in front of their empty backyard. He paused to peer at her, fighting a smile. “Something to add, Miss Marsh?”

“Are we all supposed to say vows?” Bill interrupted. He actually looked nervous.

“What’s the matter, Bill?” Richie slung an arm around Bill’s shoulders, leering down at him. “Don’t tell me you have writer’s block.”

“I’ll show you writer’s block,” Bill muttered, shoving his elbow into Richie’s ribs. Richie yowled, jolting away from him. He accidentally treaded on Eddie’s foot, who shouted and swore a blue streak, which set off the neighbor’s dog. Stan tried to get things back on track to continue his speech, but the dog was howling too long and loud for him to be heard.

There was nothing else to do but for the seven of them to spill back into the house, laughing and jostling against one another, drawn together as if magnetized. Beverly couldn’t keep her hands to herself. She had to touch Stan’s perfect hair, Mike’s brilliant smile. She ran her fingers along Ben’s jaw, and across Bill’s chest. She sat in Richie’s lap on their oversized couch and let Eddie pull her feet across his legs. He didn’t even complain that she was getting dirt all over his new pants.

Silence fell after awhile. Even the dog outside calmed. They could have gone back out, tried again, but none of them made a move. All of a sudden, despite the weeks of effort, it didn’t feel important. That was the thing, wasn’t it? A wedding was nice, but it would never feel as good as quiet moments like those, all of them draped together in small ways, a closed circuit of endless affection. What did it matter if they were married? The ring was nice, but it didn’t change the sweet curve of Bill’s smile, the beautiful drag of Stan’s fingers through her hair, the gentle rhythm of Richie’s breathing, the sharp familiarity of Mike’s cologne, the easy weight of Eddie’s hand on her ankle, the gorgeous taste of Ben’s mouth.

Beverly had been theirs in every possible way since she was a kid. She didn’t know how to belong anywhere else. She didn’t want to figure it out.

And the best part was that she didn’t have to. They had offered her forever, after all.

She fully intended to take them up on it.

#ot7 #sometimes i write things #plc fic exchange

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

October 21, 2020

Heather Cox Richardson

As we enter the home stretch to this election, we are bombarded with so much news the only way to make sense of it is to divide it into categories.

The president is angry and self-pitying while campaign officials are trying to tip the election with the dubious laptop story. Administration officials are also working as quickly as they can to push through whatever they can while they are still in power, hoping what they are doing flies under the radar with so much going on. And this flurry of activity means there are bad slips.

At the same time, Democratic candidate Joe Biden is trying to get elected, but in such a storm of crazy that his actual policies, which are quite developed, are simply not getting much airtime. Instead, people have begun to look to him as a return to an America in which strength was measured not by dominance but by caring.

The president began the day by tweeting about Biden’s proposed tax plan, which he calls “the Radical Biden-Harris Agenda.” He claims that the plan will “slash the typical American’s income by $6,500 per year. They will raise TAXES by $4 TRILLION DOLLARS – triggering a mass exodus of jobs out of America and into foreign countries…. Your 401k’s will crash with Biden. Massive Biden Tax and Regulation increases will destroy all that you have built! Additionally, 180 Million People will lose their Private Healthcare Plans.”

In fact, though, it is the administration that is talking about slashing things, including millions of dollars from Democratic-led cities that Trump and Barr have labeled “anarchist jurisdictions”: New York City; Portland, Oregon; Washington, D.C.; and Seattle, Washington. That money would cut federal grants for coronavirus relief, HIV treatment, newborn screening, and so on. Officials from the affected cities, as well as the U.S. Conference of Mayors, say they will sue if the administration tries to follow this through.

In a move that threatens to destroy our nonpartisan civil service, Trump today signed an Executive Order creating a new category of public servant who is not covered by normal rules. These employees can be hired by agency heads without having to go through the merit-based system in place since 1883, and can be fired at will. This new “Schedule F” will once again allow presidents to appoint cronies to office, while firing those insufficiently loyal. It also appears to shield political appointees from an incoming administration by protecting them from firing because of political affiliation.

Yesterday, an inspector general for the United States Postal Service issued a report requested by Congress examining the effects of Postmaster General Louis DeJoy’s changes to the postal service. The report concluded that the changes resulted in “significant negative service impacts across the country.” DeJoy is a Trump loyalist. The USPS Board of Governors, made up of Trump appointees, rejects the report’s conclusions.

Meanwhile, a number of senior administration officials and lawmakers from both parties are worried that the White House is fast-tracking a business deal worth billions of dollars in what is essentially a no-bid contract to a company associated with Republican operatives, including Karl Rove. The company, Rivada, wants to lease the Department of Defense’s mid-band spectrum. This spectrum is wildly valuable for the 5G market, the next-generation mobile network. Pentagon leaders are opposed to the deal since the military uses that spectrum, and they say they have not been able to study the effect of commercial use of the spectrum on military readiness. Pentagon lawyers say the White House has no authority to sell or lease its spectrum. Lawmakers of both parties oppose the deal. One senior official told CNN, “Something is really fishy about this.”

Today, Director of National Intelligence John Ratcliffe blamed Iran for hacked emails purporting to come from the alt-right Proud Boys warning Democrats to vote for Trump. Ratcliffe said “we have identified that two foreign actors, Iran and Russia, have taken specific actions” relating to the election. He said the emails were designed to hurt Trump. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) told Rachel Maddow that intelligence officers in a classified briefing about the matter did not, in fact, say that there was any attempt to hurt Trump. “I’m surprised that Ratcliffe would say that to the public…. I had the strong impression it was much rather to undermine confidence in elections….”

Meanwhile, Trump continues to push the laptop story. He is reportedly considering firing FBI director Christopher Wray after the election because Wray has refused to announce an investigation into Biden, his son Hunter Biden, or other Biden associates. After Wray’s refusal to back up Trump’s insistence that this summer’s violence was from “Antifa,” the FBI director’s unwillingness to announce a Biden investigation is apparently infuriating the president. In 2016, then FBI director James Comey announced a new investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails just 11 days before the election, an announcement political scientists say helped to swing victory to Trump. While the president can, in fact, fire an FBI director, it is unusual, and certainly should not happen because the director refuses to attack the president’s political rival. The term of the FBI director is set at 10 years so the director serves at least two presidents, and is not bound to the political cycle.

Trump is railing not just at Wray, but also at Attorney General William Barr. Trump was counting on Barr’s probe of the Russia investigation to implicate high-ranking members of the Obama administration just before the election, but Barr has backed off on delivering the report. Trump is frustrated, recently retweeting a photo of Barr with the caption “for the love of GOD ARREST SOMEBODY.” Barr has been staying out of the news lately, although he was in Memphis, Tennessee, today, announcing arrests made there under his Operation Legend, the name for the police crackdown in a number of cities announced in July.

Pushing the story of Hunter Biden’s laptop got a lot more difficult today when Sacha Baron Cohen revealed that his new Borat film shows Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani—the source of the laptop-- in a compromising position with a young woman. Giuliani insists the scene is a “complete fabrication,” but the stills I saw (and I was trying really hard not to see any of this) indicate that this explanation will convince only those determined to be convinced. As many observers have pointed out, if Baron Cohen could prank Giuliani so easily, what does that say about how well Giuliani could identify foreign influence operations?

For his part, Biden is acting like a normal presidential candidate, which just doesn’t grab the headlines the way Trump’s actions do. After Trump attacked Biden’s tax policy, though, a number of stories noted the actual terms of the plan.

Biden proposes to raise taxes on the wealthy. He would get rid of some of the 2017 Trump tax cuts, including the cut in the income tax rate for people making more than $400,000 a year. Trump cut that rate from 39.6% to 37%. Biden would put it back where it was. This change would affect fewer than 10% of taxpayers. People would also pay into the Social Security payroll tax for incomes over $400,000. That tax is currently collected only on $137,700 of earnings. Under this plan, the nation’s top 1% of earners would bring home about 15.9% less money after taxes than they do now.

Biden also proposes to raise the corporate tax rate from 21% to 28%, and establish a 15% minimum tax on the so-called “book income” of a corporation, that is, the amount its directors report to shareholders, which often makes a corporation look quite profitable while it pays little or no tax. He would also increase taxes on international profits. These proposed taxes would make up more than half of the revenue the Treasury would see from the new measures.

The Biden proposals would raise between $2.4 and $4 trillion over a decade. The Penn Wharton Budget Model concludes that the top 1% of earners would pay about 80% of the tax increases. Its report continues: “All groups outside of the top 5%... see their after-tax incomes fall by less than 1 percent.” The Washington Post awarded four Pinocchios to Trump’s attacks on Biden’s tax plan. The Tax Foundation could not score Trump’s own plan because he has made no actual proposals.

Biden had powerful help today getting out his message. Former President Barack Obama, who has largely stayed out of the political fray, has reentered it powerfully. In a speech in Philadelphia, Obama directly attacked Trump, tearing apart his successor’s response to the coronavirus and his administration in general. No one gets under Trump’s skin like Obama does, and the former president seemed to be deliberately needling the president, perhaps to prod him to more self-destruction at tomorrow’s debate.

His appearances were not just attacks on Trump, though. They were reminders of what the presidency looked like just four years ago, and they were designed to make sure people get to the polls. “We’ve got to turn out like never before,” President Obama said. “We cannot leave any doubt in this election…. A whole bunch of people stayed at home and got lazy and complacent. Not this time,” he said. “Not in this election.”

Still, what made most news for Biden today was an old video of the former vice president at a memorial service for Chris Hixon, the athletic director at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, who died when he tried to disarm the killer. In the clip, which circulated widely on social media, Biden expresses his sympathy to Hixon’s parents and is walking away when Hixon’s son Corey, who has Kabuki Syndrome, runs up and, as Biden turns to see what’s happening, throws himself into Biden’s embrace. Biden spontaneously kisses the young man’s forehead and asks if he’s okay. When he shakes his head no, Biden hugs him, cradling his head, and reassures him, “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay, I promise.”

—-

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

Heather Cox  Richardson

#quotes #Letters From An American #Heather Cox Richardson #politics #political #election 2020 #corrupt GOP

[mychemicalficrecs]

Hi so I've read 2 my chem sports AUs recently (All We Need Is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway and Getting the Gold by frankiesin) and I loved them surprisingly a lot because My Chemical Romance and various sports are not something you'd expect go together. I'm wondering if you know of any other sports AUs?

Hi Nonny!

There's a few Sports AUs I know and if you don't mind High School Sports AUs, there's quite a few of those as well!

Sports AUs

All We Need is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway, Frank/Gerard, 240k [WIP], Explicit. Frank is thrust all too suddenly into a new life, one where he's not warmly welcomed. He's the best goddamn hockey player he knows, though, and he's not going to let anyone take that away from him. Or at least, not until his world comes tumbling down.

Getting the Gold by frankiesin, Mikey/Pete, 9k, General Audiences. It's Mikey's first time as an Olympic coach, and he's navigating the new role pretty well until he meets the men's swim coach. Pete's gorgeous, funny, and entertaining as hell, but Mikey's pretty sure he's already got a boyfriend. Also featuring Mikey and Lindsey being Super Bros, and way too many baby athletes in need of supervision.

you wanna get it for free by akamine_chan, Ray/Mikey, 2k, Explicit. Ray's a wrestler, you see...

Pages In Your Passport by inlovewithnight, Mikey/Pete, 15k, Explicit. Pete pursued soccer instead of music. He has a good long run in the game. Then in 2010, he meets this guy in a band.

The Circuit by stoplightglow, Frank/Gerard, 24k, Teen And Up Audiences. In the world of competitive motorcycle racing, nothing is more prestigious than the Grand Circuit Tour. Americans everywhere gather to watch as the twelve best racers in the nation compete for the title of Circuit Champion and $100,000. Gerard Way is no stranger to the race. When he was a teenager, his name was practically legend - but after disappearing without explanation six years ago, he's become little more than a relic of the past. Now, at age twenty-six, Gerard is back on the Circuit with something to prove. It's Frank Iero's first year on the tour, but he's more than ready. No one has seen a kid blast through the ranks so fast since Gerard Way first appeared on the scene a decade ago. With a cocky attitude and the whole country swooning over him, nothing can slow him down. The stakes have never been so high. Welcome to the Fourteenth Annual Grand Circuit Tour.

Down And Dirty by dear_monday, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Explicit. Gerard's own beloved cherry-red Harley has pedigree in fucking spades, sure, but she's seen better days, and she just doesn't have the power to outrun Iero and that revolting custom paint job. The matching helmet painted to look like a jack-o-lantern is just too much. An AU wherein the boys are dirty bikers, inspired by the recently-released photos from the Japanese Rolling Stone shoot.

shut up and drive by Trojie, uglowian, Patrick/Mikey/Pete, 139k, Teen And Up Audiences. Pete Wentz is the grid girl, Andy Hurley loves him (not like that), and Jared Leto is the bad guy. A.K.A.: the bandom The Fast and the Furious AU that literally no one asked for.

Another Cog In The Murder Machine by ace_writez, Ray/Mikey, 3k [WIP], General Audiences. Mikey's life is set. He's going to get a basketball scholarship for university and then play in the big leagues. All he has to do is get team captain his last year of high school. But he runs into some competition when another good player also tries out. Suddenly he's not so sure he's going to make it. Ray is also trying for a scholarship. As the star quarterback of Belleville High for three years, he's gunning for a fourth. When a situation at home suddenly drags him down, and a certain boy at school catches his eye, he finds himself at a crossroads. Two boys. Two sports. One school, and one story.

Day Seven: Half Dressed - Frerard by LeatherlipsIero, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Mature. Frank reached out his hand for the stranger to shake, "I'm Frank, let me buy you a drink as an apology?" He smiled again when the stranger grabbed his strong and callused hand with his own soft one. "Thank you, but it's my fault, honestly." The strange and pretty man tried to explain but Frank didn't care. "I insist." He said and sent the beautiful stranger a half smirk with half-lidded bedroom eyes, which had the poor boy blushing in seconds. Score.

Olympians by krissykane, Frank/Gerard, 3k, General Audiences. Frank is a shooter who has (somehow) made it to his second Olympic games. There he joins the crowd at a fencing event and sees a certain Team USA fencer for the first time.

Take One For The Team (Excuse Me If I'm Rude) by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed), Mikey/Pete, 25k, Explicit. “So, your coach,” Gabe started, change of subject, thank god. “Yeah, what about him?” Mikey asked and glanced over at Pete who was heading towards the coach locker rooms, dragging a net of footballs after him. “You never told me he was hot. I’m pretty sure that’s withholding indispensable information. I should’ve signed up for the soccer team.” He said halfway jokingly, and William scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What, he’s not-“ “He so is. He’s like totally – small and handy,” He made a smooth explanatory hand-motion. “I want to fit him in my pocket.” * (Or; twenty eight scenes about skipping school, douchebag friends, post-college parties and way too much soccer)

Boxer!Fic by iamdali, Frank/Gerard, 47k, Explicit, General Audiences. After med school, Gerard had this idea of what life would be like. The idea now probably seems more than ridiculous, but still it’s what he clung to in order to drag himself through those gruelling morning hours after an all nighter of studying or writing some preposterously long paper on some disease or medical break through or why whatever part of the human body does whatever it does, and what happens when it doesn’t.

It's Not A Side Effect Of The Triple Axel (I'm Thinking It Must Be Love) by mizubyte (b_dsaint), Mikey/Pete, 10k, Teen And Up Audiences. If not for Alicia, Mikey never would have stepped on to the ice, let alone become a figure skater. Now, over 15 years later, Vancouver is Mikey's last chance for Olympic Gold. If he doesn't get distracted by snowboarder Pete Wentz, that is.

If The Skates Don't Fit by halfeatenmoon, Lindsey/Gerard, 12k, Teen And Up Audiences. Lyn-Z thought her rollerderby team might have a chance of winning some games this year, until she discovered that the new girl she'd recruited to the team was actually a man named Gerard. With a week to go until the first match against their long-time rivals, the Cobras, Lyn-Z and her teammates instead steal one of the Cobras' players - Maja, who has been feeling underappreciated since her side was joined by a new star. Maja's a great player, but it's a challange to learn to skate with a new teammate with only a week to go, especially when she still has some unresolved issues with her old captain.

Split lips hurt by toxic_fox, Frank/Gerard, 769 words, Teen And Up Audiences. Every Thursday, at six o’ clock sharp, frank goes boxing. He loves the adrenaline, the rush he gets from fighting, the blood, the pain. He kind of likes the kind medic as well.

Uppercut by mcrhomo, Frank/Gerard, 3k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. Frank is dealing with a lot in his life, including body dysmorphia. When he signs up for a boxing class to lose weight, he meets Gerard, and his whole life is turned several different ways (for better and for worse).

I Believe You're The Enemy (Game On) by imanemostan, Frank/Gerard, 2k, Mature. Constant affairs kept secret by frank and gerard, on different laser tag teams playing against each other. weirdly enough, both their schools have an official laser tag team. How will they ever be able to keep this a secret?

I Just Want You by Bridgetti, Frank/Gerard, 2k, General Audiences. Frank teaches Gerard to skate.

It's All In the Game by happilysurviving (orphan_account), Frank/Gerard, 46k [WIP], Mature. Even jocks have issues. Especially the closeted ones who have friends they have to kick off their football teams. And it gets even worse when they have to kick them off because of a homophobic coach. But of course that's only the beginning as this is Dan Howell and he always has to have larger problems on top of the ones everyone else would believe to be impossible to handle. Having Frank as his best friend certainly doesn't help or the head gossip guru in town as his mother but it could be worse, right? I mean he could be in love with an opposing team's quarterback... Oh wait.

Frerard Football Team AU For Which I Could Not Think of a Title by franks_hands, Frank/Gerard, 5k, Teen And Up Audiences. In the locker room and at practices, Frank was noisy, bordering on obnoxious. He seemed to bounce off the walls sometimes. He didn’t know about personal space.

of cute boys and rollerskates by etselec, Mikey/Pete, 1k, General Audiences. “I’m teaching you how to skate,” Mikey nearly fell as he removed Pete’s arms away from him. He squeezed his hand instead, “so our next date it won’t be as awkward.” “Date?” Pete asked. “Well, we’re holding hands already, aren’t we?” Mikey smiled at him.

Hand in Mine, Into Your Icy Blues by sundrowned, Frank/Gerard, 28k, General Audiences. Gerard is the captain of the hockey team and his overbearing father is the coach. When a new boy named Frank joins the team, Gerard has to decide weather to follow his father's orders to stay away from the boy or choose his own path.

Skating In A Ttutu by runaway_killjoy, Frank/Gerard, 51k, Teens And Up Audiences, Explicit. Frank has to move towns with his mom. He's disheartened to realize that teenagers are judgemental and manipulative no matter where you go. And no one gets judged quite as bad as the ballerina/skater boy who isn't even 5ft. Skater boy AU prompt, Frerard

Powderpuff by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd), Frank/Gerard, 2k, Explicit. It isn't like Frank's opposed to powderpuff football. The timing's just kind of bad.

Get Up And Go by inlovewithnight, 6k, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey Way: Ultramarathon Runner.

#fic rec list #frank/gerard #mikey/pete #ray/mikey #patrick/mikey/pete #lindsey/gerard #alternate universe #sports

[slamsams-blog]

Thunderball - #24WeeksofBond

This week we are treated to the 1965 film “Thunderball” with Sean Connery.  This movie has always been one of my favorites, mostly because of all the beautiful under water scenes and action.  The final underwater battle for atomic bomb supremacy is one of my favorite, if not thee favorite, ending sequences of any Bond movie.  But on top of all the visual stimulation there is a well thought out plot perfectly executed by the direction of Terence Young.  The downside to this movie and the Bond series in the long run is the producer, Kevin McClory...we’ll get to him later.  

This would be Connery’s fourth outing and the last of his greats before he starts phoning it in.  There is just so much to love and enjoy with Thunderball starting with the pre-title sequence.  Thunderball opens up at a supposed funeral of a man who was working for Spectre and Bond appears to have his doubts.  He goes to follow the widow to her place only for Bond to squarely knock the crap out of her...revealing it to be the man who was supposedly dead.  This gave me a good chuckle, seeing Bond going to give his condolences to a grieving widow and then just punching her face.

If that wasn’t enough, he escapes by jet pack...JET PACK.  How very entertaining already, and the journey has only just begun...CUE TOM JONES, MF!  

Well, after a rather obnoxious performance by Tom Jones the film begins with Bond off getting rehab after his last mission. Little did Bond, or Blofeld know, that he was going to find himself on a another mission.  Bond smells something fishy is going on and starts doing some digging off the clock. The plan is to steal a couple atomic bombs and hold England for a 100 million pound ransom, threatening to destroy a city in England or the USA if they don’t cooperate.  Bond gets the files for the mission but sees photos of faces he saw while getting rehab including one of them who Bond found dead.  So Bond already has a lead in this time sensitive mission, so Bond is on his way.

By this time Blofeld and Spectre are not good friends of Bond.  He’s already ruined a few of their operations so it’s funny to me that Blofeld keeps coming up with these elaborate schemes instead of putting all his best men on a mission to just get rid of Bond.  Largo (Adolfo Celi) is the man heading the operation and quickly comes to realize that Bond is going to be a nasty thorn in his side.

While Thunderball has so much going for it in terms of story and action, the cast of characters are a bit sleepy.  Domino (Claudine Auger), whom I just learned had her voice dubbed over by a Voice Actor, pulls in a rather forgettable performance.  Largo has a cool look with jet white hair and an unexplained eye patch...but even that doesn’t really save him or make him that memorable.  No cool henchmen either, except for the crazy Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi) who likes to drive 110 miles an hour through narrow windy streets in the woods.  Those deer better watch it.

As Bond works to uncover the truth and put the puzzle pieces together we see him being followed by a mysterious man with sunglasses....he evetunally gets to Bonds hotel door...Bond opens the door AND.....(suspense) IT’S FELIX!  Ah they got us again!  Good ole Felix from the CIA is here to help with the mission, and to get Bond of out what ever type of Jam Bond has found himself in.

After an escape through a madri-gras parade, a run in with a couple sharks, and some hand grenades, Bond has finally, and quite literally, uncovered the answer to where the bombs are and can now pursue the nasty Largo to foil his plot.  This all leads up to a most wonderfully shot action sequence between the good guys and the bad guys under the sea.  Carrying harpoons and welding knives to cut the oxygen tube of your enemy as the key strategy to victory, we see an absolute war in the water.  We also see shots of all the beautiful sea creators who are like “WTF?”.  I just can’t imagine the skill it took to film the whole thing.  With the intense score backing it up, I’d be hard pressed to point you into the direction of a better fight scene in the Bond series.

This leads to the big fight between Bond and Largo on his runaway ship. The green screen work here is just laughable.  The boat, from the inside, appears to be going 1,032,231,318 miles an hour and somehow they are still able steer it away from the rocks that are 5 feet in front of them.  After the evil Largo has been killed by Domino, the final scene is Bond and Domino getting whisked away by a plane catching a string that is attached to Bond.  They make this look romantic, but in actuality, they get hauled away so fast that I would be crapping my pants.  It made me laugh anyways.

I do also wish we got one last reaction from Blofeld finding out his plans got spoiled once again.  This movie lacks a touch of closure at the end.  Largo dies and they get whisked away without seeing MI6 relived of the mission being a success or Blofeld pissed and angrily changing his cat’s litter box.

Thunderball, while plentiful of shortcomings, is stimulating to the senses and takes you on an epic journey - but this script would come back to haunt Eon Productions years later.  Kevin McClory had worked on multiple screen adaptions with Ian Flemming and got partial credit for this screenplay.  McClory had eventually been given the rights to the script and would go on later to make a Bond film of his own with the same script.  It was called “Never Say Never Again”.  12 years after Connery had said good bye to the role, would come back to play the part again...only as a grandpa.  

Never Say Never Again is an abomination and is not an official entrant into the series, so no, I will NOT be watching that garbage...if you want to on your own time, be my guest, but it’s just a bad movie.  McClory would go on to have multiple lawsuits against the Bond producers, even trying to remake the same movie again in the late 80′s and trying to recruit Brosnan for it.  But it fell through...thank the lord.

All that nonsense being said, I still love Thunderball, and is one of the highlights of the Connery series.  I hope you liked it too!  Let me know what you thought!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom:

Boy Sean Connery was really in his glory days here wasn’t he? So young and handsome. You could always identify him in a crowd under helmets and googles by those puppy eyes. A couple things that were really funny was that silly jet pack at the start. With all our tech stuff now that scene was almost cartoony. The way his body didn’t move and the wind picked up not a whisp of hair or clothing. Then when we got a look at those nuclear bombs. They had the words printed on them. “Treat like Eggs”. Ha. It seems like it’s unique to Connery (from what I’ve seen so far) to punch a woman in the face (seemingly) or use her to shield a bullet. Don’t know if Bronson or Moore or Dalton would do that. It was a Tense under water battle but I loved the ending. It was just simple and fun. No need to string out a big explanation or closure.

Alexandra Hein-Roberts

I find Claudine Auger to be the most iconic Bond girl. She had something most didn’t.

Jake Benrud

So many things taken from this movie for Austin Powers... sharks or Ill tempered mutated sea bass? I enjoyed the movie, and laughed out loud when Sean Connery punched that woman in the face who was really a disguised man. I guess I wasn’t expecting that. Also, whoever SPECTRE employs as a plastic surgeon, I want their name. That was a perfect clone. The SPECTRE agent should have known better to try to extort more money from Largo. That’s never going to end well. The death of Bond’s assistant/field operative kept it a little bit more real. I thought the plot was decent, but I thought the underwater battle was really slow moving for my tastes especially in the beginning. Kind of a cool concept though. Bond was able to swim pretty well for getting shot in the leg. I liked that Domino got the kill in the end. Classic Bond. Great movie despite the sometimes unbelievable parts!

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

A View To A Kill 

#24WeeksofBond #sean connery #James Bond #Thunderball

[a-damson-in-distress]

The Protégé 4

Pairing: MadaSaku

Plot: In search of a new cellist for his prestigious orchestra, an infamously feared maestro stumbles upon a young rising star.

The Protégé 1

The Protégé 2

The Protégé 3

Edit: I almost forgot to add this super important note: A thousand thank yous to my regulars who have followed this story from the get-go. There are a few of you who never fail to show their appreciation and never forget to leave an encouraging comment. Don’t think I don’t notice you, you stalkers ;). I am immensly thankful for your feedback and your comments, they keep me so motivated and give me a sense of validation, like this isn’t just some sort of private thing that I only create for myself and nobody else gives a shit about it. If five hundred people read my story without leaving a comment or anything and I’ve only got the few reviews from you guys, it’s still enough to show me that my work is appreciated. So thank you!

Note: For those of you who are as confused about orchestral stage etiquette as I am and have no idea what’s going on with the whole handshake thing in this chapter, here’s what I found out about it while doing research for chapter four: The first violinist in an orchestra is also called the concert master, he represents the entire orchestra and functions as a sort of “team captain” if you will. So whenever the maestro invites a soloist, the soloist is supposed to shake hands with the maestro (thanking him for the invitation basically) as well as the concert master (though there are variations to this, some only shake hands before the performance, some before and after, etc.). By shaking the CM’s hand, the soloist essentially thanks all of the other musicians for their collaboration as solo concertos are usually a group effort, and you know the soloist can’t go around shaking the hands of a hundred people so they usually only shake hands with the CM *gasp* wow that was a long explanation. Aaaaaaanyway, here’s a video of the concerto Sakura is performing in this chapter: Camille Saint-Saën’s Cello Concerto No.1 in A minor. 

Enjoy, have fun reading, let me know if you liked it, leave a comment, send a carrier pigeon, send a smoke signal, you know whatever floats your boat. You know the drill. 

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“A little to the left. Chin up. Perfect, stay that way.”

Sakura had trouble not squinting her eyes when the photographer unleashed another onslaught of camera flashes upon her. She was currently in his studio doing a photo shoot for the orchestra’s and the theatre’s official websites. Her probation period was over, and they were only a week away from kicking off their tour after their first performance at home, so now the New National Theatre was going to officially announce her as the principal cellist of Maestro Uchiha’s ensemble complete with interviews, articles, videos of her rehearsals, and ridiculously over-the-top photographs.

The nickname the press had given her after her solo in Sapporo spread like wildfire, and the orchestra’s publicist decided to capitalise on her image as the Imperatrix Furiosa. So they put her in a majestic velvet evening gown dyed in a scandalous scarlet with a skirt wide enough to allow her to spread her legs to accommodate her cello on the throne-like chair she was currently sitting in. Her hair was tied up into an overly dramatic and intricate updo and fastened with fancy kanzashi hair pins that were sticking out in such a manner they made it look like she was wearing a crown.

The dress and accessories paired with the red lipstick and dramatic eye make-up made her look every bit the Furious Empress and the enticing femme fatale of Japan’s classical music scene the publicist wanted her to portray.

And Sakura hated every second of it.

“Do you think you have enough pictures now?” the young cellist asked tentatively while trying to hold her unnatural pose.

Deidara, the orchestra’s publicist, looked up from the laptop where her photographs appeared right after being snapped. “Just a few more, sweety. You’re doing great, though.” He gave her an encouraging thumbs-up and shot her an apologetic smile. Great, Sakura mused silently, she must have looked more uncomfortable than she thought. And here she was thinking she was good at hiding it.

“Seriously, though, we need to wrap this up. She’s got rehearsal in an hour, and Madara will chop off my head if his MVP is late,” Sakura heard the blonde publicist explain to the photographer. She sincerely hoped the heavy make-up was covering the deep blush she could feel spreading across her cheeks at his remark. Did her Maestro really tell the publicist she was his most valuable musician?

“No grinning, please,” came the photographer’s command from behind his lens.

Right. Stop daydreaming, Sakura reminded herself.

Straightening her back and schooling her features, the pink-haired cellist remained motionless on her make-shift throne. After a few more minutes of clicking, snapping, repositioning, and flashing, Sakura was finally free to get out of her dress and wash off all that make-up. She undid her complicated updo and gathered her hair into a high puffy ponytail. Putting on her pastel green boat neck dress with box pleats and slipping into her simple white ballerinas, she immediately felt more comfortable, like her young and goofy self and not the mature and seductive diva the photographer wanted her to be.

“Chop-chop, darling. Maestro Menacing is waiting for you.” Sakura was torn from her thoughts at the sound of Deidara calling out from the other side of the closed door. The young musician had to supress a smirk at the sound of the nickname she knew the publicist secretly used for her Maestro. He wasn’t entirely wrong, Mr Uchiha really could come across as menacing and unapproachable. But Sakura had gotten to know another side of him over the last weeks as well. There was a gentleness to him he only rarely showed, tiny little smiles of satisfaction and subtle gestures of encouragement. As much as she appreciated his constructive criticism, she loved his nods of approval and his well done, Ms Haruno’s even more.

And she couldn’t wait to prove herself to her Maestro during the upcoming tour and hope for a bit more of his praise she so selfishly craved.

After Deidara and Sakura left the photographer’s studio, they immediately headed back to the theatre where the rest of Maestro Uchiha’s ensemble was already preparing themselves for one of their last rehearsals before kicking off their tour. Sakura took her usual seat to the right of the conductor’s music stand. She was so busy tuning her cello, she didn’t even notice her Maestro approach his podium.

“Ms Haruno.” A deep voice made her look up in surprise and she was met with the sight of the raven-haired conductor casually leaning on the rail of his podium with his strong arms crossed in front of his broad chest, clad in a meticulous three-piece suit sans the jacket.

The young cellist prayed to God her blush wasn’t as visible as she thought it was.

“Yes, Maestro?” she answered in a small voice.

“How was the photoshoot?”

Sakura gave him a weak smile and chuckled softly. “Honestly? It was horrible. They dressed me up in this heavy, floor-length gown and backcombed my hair so much it looked like I had a bird’s nest on my head in the end. And I had so much make-up on I could literally feel my pores dying a horrible death by asphyxiation. Please don’t look at the photos once they upload them.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. But if it makes you feel any better, I will not go actively looking for your pictures. Though I have to admit, I would love to see a pink bird’s nest.” Her Maestro’s teasing grin made her giggle, and Sakura looked up at the raven-haired conductor with a huge smile on her face.

Just in that moment, she could hear the sound of a camera shutter from her left. Both her Maestro and Sakura turned around in surprise and spotted Deidara standing in the middle of the countless rows of seats with a camera in his hand.

“Finally. Do you know how difficult it is to get a photo of two people together who both hate to pose for pictures? You two are a publicist’s nightmare, but you’re lucky you’re so goddamn photogenic.”

Sakura turned to Maestro Uchiha and looked at him questioningly. With an annoyed eye roll, he explained, “Deidara said he needed a picture of the two of us together for our countless social media profiles. He wants to make a post about me welcoming you to the ensemble or whatever, and apparently, I cannot officially welcome you without a picture.”

His obvious annoyance with the blonde publicist elicited another laugh from the young cellist. Sakura watched her conductor narrow his eyes at her before his own lips spread into a tiny amused grin.

“Alright, that’s enough giggling now, Ms Haruno. If you keep enjoying my jokes like that, the other members of my orchestra might start to think I actually have a heart.”

Biting on her bottom lip to keep herself from chuckling at his quip and again hoping that her blush wouldn’t betray her, the young cellist focused her gaze on her sheet music and readied her instrument for the rehearsal. The other musicians took their seats as well, filling up the vacant space around Sakura, and fixed their eyes on the conductor.

Maestro Uchiha gave his final orders, raised his baton, and the musicians started playing.

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“I finally got Naruto to accept my karaoke challenge. He’s going to do Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love at the bar tonight, you gotta come with us!”  

The pink-haired cellist looked up from her sheet music and was met with the face of her new roommate Ino, the principal clarinet of their ensemble. After her first rehearsal with the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra, Temari had introduced her to some people she claimed were the only tolerable ones, and Sakura immediately hit it off with the blonde musician. Not long after getting to know each other, Ino offered her to move in with her after her previous roommate accepted another job in a different city. Though some of her newly found friends in the orchestra, who had all known Ino for a long time now, jokingly advised her against it with the explanation that she’s bi and you’re annoyingly adorable and totally her type, she’ll eat you up and spit you out, Sakura hadn’t regretted a single second of being the roommate of the exuberant and feisty clarinet player.

“Sure, I’ll be there. I just need a minute to talk to the Maestro,” Sakura answered with an amused grin.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ino bounce up and down with excitement. “Yay, it’s gonna be so great. We always go out the night before our first performance, without any alcohol of course,” the blonde musician added in a loud voice, pointedly looking in Maestro Uchiha’s direction before continuing, “but still, you’re gonna have so much fun with us. I’ll see you at home. And don’t be late, missy, I still need to do your makeup.”

Sakura was met with the end of Ino’s perfectly manicured index finger pointed accusingly at her face before the blonde turned on her heel and strutted off the stage as if it were her own personal catwalk.

Gathering her things, the pink-haired cellist made her way to the Maestro, who was currently busy berating his principal percussionist Naruto for goofing around with his timpani sticks during a break and pretending to have a swordfight with his fellow players. She decided to wait for them to finish and came to a halt in the middle of the string section when she realised that their orchestra’s concert master Kabuto was seemingly also waiting for a word with their conductor.

The grey-haired violinist was one of the musicians who hadn’t even spared her a glance on her first day. But while most of them seemed to have come around in the meantime or have at least started greeting their newest member, Kabuto was still adamantly giving her the cold shoulder. Whenever she tried talking to him, Sakura was met with nothing but haughty looks and condescending remarks. Though she had to admit, the moments of interaction between them were few and far between, because Sakura tried to keep them to a minimum. Their concert master was clearly of the highly competitive sort, and Sakura had no intention of letting him drag her into a musical pissing contest.

And still, manners were manners, so the cellist forced a tight smile and greeted him.

“Hey, Kabuto. Excited for our first concert tomorrow?”

The grey-haired violinist slowly turned his head and looked down his nose at her. He studied her for a second with narrowed eyes, as if trying to discern whether or not she was worthy of an answer, before opening his mouth, “I’m sure you are.”

Supressing the urge to roll her eyes at his usual cryptic answer, Sakura instead ignored his remark and cleared her throat. “So um, every CM seems to be handling stage etiquette a bit differently, so I wanted to ask you how you want to do the handshake tomorrow? Before and after, or just after or do you –“

“Honestly, Haruno, I couldn’t care less about the handshake or your solo. But if this really is so confusing to you, why don’t you go ask Daddy for help? It’s not like our Maestro has anything better to do than take his new little girl by the hand and show her how things work around here.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Sakura could feel her cheeks heating up at his embarrassing remark, and she stared at him open-mouthed, stunned into silence. Luckily, she didn’t have to come up with an answer, since Kabuto was approached by another violinist in that moment, asking him whether he wanted to go out tonight.

“No thanks, I’ll be staying at the theatre for a while longer. I’ve got other plans for later,” the concert master explained with a devious grin.

After the violinist left, Kabuto made no attempt to address Sakura again, and Maestro Uchiha was still not done chewing out Naruto. Since she felt so incredibly uncomfortable in Kabuto’s presence, the young musician decided to grab her cello case and leave. Not even the prospect of talking to Maestro Uchiha for a few minutes was worth it, if it meant she had to spend another second in awkward silence with the concert master who seemed to hate her guts.

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There was a ritual Madara had long formed a habit of going through before every concert he was going to conduct. It consisted of him mumbling every single articulation in chronological order of every piece of that night’s programme while he re-arranged the seats of his musicians on stage. Even though the stage crew of every theatre he ever worked at never failed to position everything correctly, the conductor still felt more at east when he could move every chair and every music stand to just the perfect spot.

Madara was currently contemplating whether to push a sax player’s seat half a centimetre to the left or to the right when he heard a commotion from backstage. He followed the noise to the labyrinth of dressing rooms where his eyes caught sight of three blonde musicians rushing from one room to the next, frantically looking for something.

“What do you mean, she can’t find it. It must be there!” Temari came rushing past him with a handbag before she promptly dumped its content on a table and started digging through it.

“I don’t know. When we got home last night, I asked her if all of her stuff was ready in the dressing room. She told me she checked everything three times, even tried on the shoes just to be safe, because she was afraid they gave her the wrong size.”

Madara watched his principal clarinet go through the countless makeup bags before she turned to another person in the hall. “Naruto, did you check the clothing racks in all the dressing rooms?” Madara’s gaze landed on the blonde percussionist who just entered the room with an apologetic shake of his head.

Clearing his throat to get their attention, the raven-haired conductor leaned against the door frame and let his gaze wander around the dressing room in which the three musicians were currently bustling about.

“Our concert starts in half an hour. I sincerely hope you’ll find whatever you’re so desperately looking for.”

Madara’s accusatory gaze met the desperate look of the blonde clarinet player before she approached him, grabbing his arm and tugging him down the hall.

“Maestro, you need to help us. It’s an emergency.”

Ino came to a halt in front of the closed door of another dressing room and knocked twice before letting herself in. Madara stayed behind, still unsure of what was really going on.

“Oh God, Ino, please tell me you have it, please! I need to be ready before anyone finds out, or before he finds out. Please, we need to hurry, Maestro Uchiha absolutely can’t know about this, or I’m screwed!”

Madara’s heart suddenly lurched in his chest at the sound of Sakura’s distraught voice so close to tears. He took a step forward and entered the room where he was met with the sight of his principal cellist dressed up in her concert outfit, a dark-green fitted pant suit, black patent leather Oxford’s, and a white blouse fully buttoned up – and missing a bow tie.

“Ms Haruno, what’s going on?”

She fixed her scared, wide eyes on him, and Madara was immediately hit with the urge to envelop her in his arms and assure her he’ll make everything right for her again.

The conductor couldn’t help but let his gaze be drawn to her beautiful mouth, invited by the sight of her teeth chewing on her bottom lip before releasing it to speak.

“Maestro, I’m so so sorry, but I … I can’t seem to find my bow tie. But I swear to God it was here. After the rehearsal and before I left the theatre yesterday, I checked if all of my stuff was ready like you told us and I swear to God my outfit was complete, I know I saw the bow tie with the rest of my clothes. But now it’s gone and we looked everywhere and I don’t know what to do. God, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry to disappoint you.” Her voice was shaky and on the verge of tears and Madara had to consciously restrain the urge in his feet to run to her.

He was just about to say something to comfort the distraught young cellist when he heard more voices approaching the dressing room. The maestro turned around to see a small crowd gathered outside the door, all asking and wondering what was going on with their youngest member.

“Nothing to see here, alright? Just looking for a lost bow tie. We’ll be ready any second now, so scram, got it?” The blonde clarinet player fixed the crowd with a stern gaze and waved her hands in front of her to signal the other musicians to disperse.

“Maybe we should help look? I’m sure we’ll find it faster that way. Then we can all get back to our preparations in peace.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Madara could see Sakura’s head shoot up and her eyes widen in surprise at the sound of his concert master’s suggestion. But before anybody could say anything, Kabuto had already turned around and left.

“I’m sorry for troubling you with this, Maestro. We actually promised Sakura not to tell you anything, but we really couldn’t find it anywhere after looking for so long, and now we’re kind of lost.” Ino’s apologetic gaze was shooting back and forth between the conductor and his principal cellist.

“It’s quite alright, Ms Yamanaka. I’m glad you told me. Now I can get to the bottom of this myself.”

When he saw Sakura’s worried expression turn even more desperate, Madara felt like slapping himself. That came out way more threatening than he intended it to. He was just about to clarify his statement when he heard a knock on the open door which made all their heads turn around.

Kabuto was standing in the doorway with his right hand raised, a bow tie dangling from the edge of his middle finger. “You’ll never guess where I found this,” he said in a casual tone, a barely visible smirk gracing his features.

Madara watched his principal clarinet cross her arms in front of her chest. “Oh I’m sure I will.”

Kabuto ignored her, instead stepping into the dressing room and approaching Sakura. “Somehow, it landed in a drawer of one of the dressing tables.” He slipped the bow tie off his middle finger, and Sakura barely had enough time to catch it. “Lucky for you I’m so thorough at everything I do.” He gave her what was probably meant to be a half-baked attempt at a sincere smile and then turned to face Madara, his fake grin widening, before he left the room.

The maestro’s eyes landed on the young cellist in front of him again, who was still staring after the concert master with a look of confusion. He glanced at his watch and cleared his throat.

“Everybody out. I need a minute with Ms Haruno.”

After her friends hesitantly left the room and closed the door behind them, Madara let his gaze rest on Sakura’s downcast head. It was then the maestro realised she was playing with the bow tie in her hand, tugging at it and turning it around between her fingers. She was nervous.

“Ms Haruno, look at me.”

At the sound of his soft command, Sakura slowly raised her head to meet his gaze. Madara had to supress a groan at the sight of her teeth chewing on her bottom lip again.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” her whispering voice pleaded with him.

“I’m not mad, Ms Haruno. I know none of this was your fault, trust me.” He closed his hands over her fidgeting ones and took the bow tie.

“Chin up.”

The young cellist just stared at him for a second, jade-green eyes wide with confusion.

Madara took a step closer to her, put a finger beneath her chin and forced her head up. He then proceeded to turn up her collar and fasten the bow tie around her neck.

“You’re not going to allow this incident to rattle you, you’re better than this and we both know it. Once I call you up on stage, you’re going to walk up there like you own the place, play your solo to perfection, and blow everyone away.” He gave her bow tie a final tug.

“Have I made myself understood, Ms Haruno?” Madara looked down at her with a strict gaze and a tiny amused smirk gracing his lips.

“Yes, Maestro,” Sakura nodded enthusiastically while smiling up at him with a look of pure determination.

“Good.” Madara grabbed her chin between his fingers and leaned closer to her face before murmuring, “I wouldn’t expect anything less form my protégé.”

He watched with satisfaction as a deep blush spread across her cheeks and her jade-green eyes widened in surprise, staring up at him with that look of wonder, reverence, and gratification she only seemed to have reserved for him, as if his praise was the only thing in the world giving her life meaning.

Unable to resist, Madara allowed his gaze to rest on her inviting lips for a split second before letting go off her chin and forcing himself to leave her dressing room.

His thoughts kept swirling around the young cellist even as he stepped onto the stage amidst tumultuous applause. The conductor had to admit that it was a good decision not to have Sakura join the ensemble for the entire programme but only for her solo in the last half hour; he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep his eyes from her. Though that wasn’t the original reason for not having her on stage for the entire performance. What Madara was really hoping to achieve with the late entrance of his principal cellist was to give her the grand introduction deserving of a musician of her calibre. After all, the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra was one of the most prestigious ensembles in the world of classical music, and Sakura Haruno wasn’t just anybody. And a good maestro knows to save the best for last.

Despite his mind being distracted with the image of her inviting lips only centimetres away from his own, Madara was still able to focus on the musicians in front of him as he led his orchestra through the concert’s programme. After they finished their second to last piece and when it was time for Sakura’s solo, he signalled his ensemble to quiet down, turned around on his podium to face the audience and grabbed a microphone.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, as you may have heard the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra has signed on a new member. As of this April, our vacant spot of principal cellist was filled with an immensely talented young musician from Kyoto. Though she doesn’t need an introduction, she’s going to get one anyway. She is an award-winning cello prodigy who was the youngest ever recipient of the first Grand Prize at the Rostropovitch Cello Competition at the age of sixteen. She studied under Takanori Nakano, Stjepan Hauser, and Steven Isserlis, to mention but a few. After establishing herself as a world-renowned cellist in her previous orchestras, she will now join us for our tour as the newest and youngest member of my ensemble. Ladies and Gentlemen, you will now hear Camille Saint-Saëns’ Cello Concerto number 1 in A minor with our new principal cellist Sakura Haruno as the soloist.”

Madara put down the microphone, stepped off his podium, and walked off the stage to where Sakura was waiting for him.

“Ready?” he asked with an encouraging smile.

She answered with a determined nod as her lips spread into an excited grin. “As I’ll ever be.”

The maestro signalled her to lead the way. As the cellist stepped onto the stage with her instrument in hand, the audience erupted into thunderous applause. Madara followed after her, clapping his hands like the rest of the guests and the musicians of his ensemble. He watched her bow deeply to the audience before turning to Kabuto and shaking his hand with a smug grin plastered on her face. She waited for Madara to step onto his podium before shaking his hand as well.

“Give ‘em hell, Ms Haruno.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see another one of her blushes he liked so much taint her cheeks as she took a seat and readied herself with a subtle, sincere smile gracing her lips.

Madara raised his baton while Sakura steadied her bow above the strings of her cello. They shared one last look, the cellist looking up at her maestro for guidance and the maestro giving her a tiny smile of approval. He nodded to his entire ensemble.

As the music enveloped the large concert hall, Madara could see Sakura sway in her seat, eyes closed and completely surrendering herself to her instrument. He knew in that moment that she was gone now, transporting her mind into whatever utopia she conjured up whenever she let go and allowed her music to simply take her away.

As easy as it was for him to get and hold her attention, the maestro had to begrudgingly admit that music still seemed to be the only thing able to ensnare her in a way he could not. He was going to have to change that soon enough, he decided.

But for the time being, Madara let her be. His protégé was lost to the world now, anyway.

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