#we know close to nothing about Thrandy

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Back to school - chapter 5

Being sick at home, I have time to update my different stories :D

So, here's another Kira-chapter with a few surprises :))))

Fandom: The Hobbit (still an AU)

Characters : Thranduil x OC (and the others being awful)

Words: 4,5 k (+/-)

Rating: Gen

Warnings: reference to alcohol, silliness, awkwardness and a small surprise :D

Waking up was hard; Kira’s head vibrated with pain.

She should not have opened that aged rum just to numb the second-hand pain; she was not 20 anymore and she now paid the price for her reckless behaviour. “A new day, a new chance.” She told herself as she saw her bleary complexion in the tiny bathroom mirror.

A quick glance on another crumpled sheet of paper Gandalf had handed her informed her that she would have her class twice today. One hour for literature and another one, in the afternoon for “social studies and integration”. If she hadn’t been that miserable, she would have laughed as Gandalf had struck out the words and written “etiquette” beneath the line.

How the ever-loving hell was she supposed to teach those kids etiquette and manners? She had almost been stoned to death for taking them out into the courtyard and now she was supposed to teach them…table manners?

Brushing her hair back in a neat ponytail and slipping into her ratty old cardigan, she opened the door just to almost bump into a pristine white shirt. “Good morning, Kira.”

“Thranduil.” She sighed, recognising the woody, masculine scent, and the melodious voice. “I am quite able to find my way to school on my own.” She ground out, trying to push past the intrusive colleague. One could count on people like him to show up, perfectly styled and handsome as the devil himself, when one was feeling low and looking like a pile of…undesirable and unattractive things that might or might not have exited another organism.

When she turned around, he stood rooted to the ground, an unfathomable expression on his beautiful face. “I thought you might care for some company, even if it’s just me.” He murmured, lower than she had ever heard him speak.

Oh, here’s another one who isn’t loved well, Kira thought and her heart gave an unexpected and involuntary jerk.

“That is very kind of you.” She nodded slowly, seeing his eyes widen. When was the last time someone had called him “kind”, she wondered, feeling strangely sorry for him.

“The kids call me Thrandy.” He informed her as they walked to the unseemly building, earning a few nods and a few fearful looks. The kids call you all kinds of names, Kira thought to herself, but kept her mouth shut.

Her first class wouldn’t start for over an hour, but she had wanted to return Thorin’s file and maybe poke around in the school a bit before having to teach. Only, how was she to get rid of the man who seemed to have become her veritable shadow in the few hours she had been in this town?

“Don’t you have a class to teach?” She asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. “Yes.” He replied simply.

Without consciously choosing to do so, Kira walked alongside him to his class. She really was not at her best on this morning, otherwise she would have parted ways with him earlier.

“Hi, Miss Kira. Do you remember me? I’m…” – “Thorin’s sister.” Kira supplied readily, with a warm smile.

“Dís, go in, please.” Thranduil ordered and she obeyed with a smirk. “Oh, Kira, you’re early.” Gandalf hastened down the corridor. “I am not late, I am never late, I arrive exactly when I mean to arrive.” He informed Thranduil when the other man cocked an eyebrow and lifted his eyes to the clock fastened to the opposite wall.

“Yes…I had an idea. I will wander around some, except if the bogeyman might come and grab me off the stairs here inside the school as well?” Kira mocked, being met with two very disapproving looks.

“You should be fine here.” Thranduil replied calmly, making his class fall into silence by merely shoving his face, quite creepily if one asked Kira, into the classroom and giving them a punitive stare.

That man had an absurdly long neck, Kira thought, and he looked quite ridiculous, poking his head around corners like a grumpy giraffe. Really, he and Thorin seemed to be in a perpetual contest who could look dourer for the longest time.

“Miss Kira.” Ah, speak of the devil. Kira turned around to find Bilbo with Thorin hovering just behind him; the young boy’s very own dark raincloud. “Bilbo, Thorin, good morning.” She turned on her teacher-smile.

In the long months before coming here, she had almost forgotten how much she loved working with teenagers. They thought themselves so grown-up already, but they smelled like cheap shower gel and half-outgrown dreams.

“Did you have a nice night?” Bilbo asked. “I…Yes, I was very eager to come to work though.” Kira replied. Bilbo was an adorable kid: small with a penchant to growing slightly pudgy maybe, he had eyes that reminded her of the rolling hills of the countryside…and of its bustling, invincible life.

“Yes, I couldn’t wait either.” He gave her a wide grin and let himself be herded into class.

“Was it really bad?” Thorin nodded at the file sticking out from her satchel; a file that might well reek of spilled rum and tears now. “You tell me, Thorin, was it really bad?” She asked back earnestly.

“He’s a troublemaker.” Thranduil interjected, lifting his hands placatingly when Kira spun around, eyes ablaze. “But, there’s a but, woman, let me finish! This one is a pain in the ass, excuse my French, but not all of what you’ll find in the files is 100% true…or fair.” She stared at him in confusion, had he really said what she thought he had?

“I’ve got to go teach. The kids usually go home for lunch, but there is a lunchroom.” Thranduil nodded and went into his classroom without waiting for Kira to collect her thoughts and reply to his surprising admission of fallibility in teachers.

“What was that about?” Kira scratched her head. “I think the dear colleague wanted to invite you to have lunch with the staff?” Gandalf said gently, but his smile was sharp and too radiant to be honest.

Kira blushed, confusion writ plain on her face. “If…my idea works out, I shall have to go home again. I’ll be fine.” She smiled, wondering if her colleague would think that her no-show would be some kind of rejection.

Thorin was still staring at the closed door, apparently aghast that Thranduil would admit that he was indeed not actually the Antichrist reborn. “Thorin, can I beg for your illustrious presence in my mathematics class?” Gandalf prompted the boy with a rumbling chuckle.

Kira watched as he slid his impassive mask back on and trudged into the room as if he was under duress when she had clearly seen the tiny smirk he had given his headteacher before returning to being the sullen boy everyone expected him to be.

“I’ll hand them over soon enough, don’t you worry.” Gandalf grinned at her and closed the door.

Kira huffed, her superior seemed to know everything and have an amazingly good understanding of what went on inside of people’s minds; she had noticed that the previous evening already, but he was so humorous and nonchalant about it, that it had only struck her when she had returned to the void of her apartment.

Resolutely, she struck out for the administration office and returned the file.

“Ah? And? Already scared off?” The same lady asked her casually. “Not in the least.” Kira replied pugnaciously; the more people tried to warn her off, the harder she would doggedly stay true to her course.

“Is there a ballroom here?” She asked. “A what? There’s the festivity room, but it’s never used. Whatever do you need a ballroom for? Do you want them to dance? Dwalin will give you a bloody nose.” The woman laughed.

“Dwalin will do nothing of the sort. He’s a decent fellow.” Kira contradicted calmly which made the woman freeze in the middle of her movement as she was bringing a cup of coffee to her lips.

Her eyebrows rose in slow-motion. “Decent? Dwalin? He brawls like he’s paid for it. Always black and blue.”

Kira’s stomach turned into a block of ice. There were other reasons for kids to be bruised and she would have to look into it. No, his brother had not struck her as someone who would mistreat a young’un like that.

“Let that be my worry. Where is that room?” Kira enquired and took off as soon as she was given the information she had asked for.

Yes, she thought, this would do nicely.

There was even a small kitchen down a corridor. “A small lunchroom, huh?” She muttered to herself.

Table manners, yes, and who knew? She might even get the kids to dance.

Either way, if it was at all possible, she would organise a ball. A winter formal for her kids, for she saw them as her very own and she was fiercely loyal to them already, and all the others.

“Air…We need air and sunlight.” No matter how dark the times were, children needed fun and something to look forward to and she would be damned if she didn’t at least try to provide that for them.

If necessary, she would clean the whole room by herself, decorate it by herself, cook by herself. Kira had a purpose, and she would not be set adrift again, not when she remembered all too well how it had felt to haunt her own life as a shadow of herself.

Dreaming her time away, she had to run to be on time for her class and she nearly bumped into Thranduil again. He was like a moving wall, always in the way, he was the very symbol of the labyrinth she had fallen into.

“Kira…” He started, but then ran out of words. “Thranduil.” She replied in that same cold tone.

“So…Oh, the Silmarillion? You know that they’re borderline illiterate?” He mocked as he saw the book she was extracting from her satchel. “You know that you’re…unfair?” She shot back and pushed past him, which felt like squeezing along a statue of marble. He didn’t budge. She didn’t even throw him off balance. Cocky bastard.

“Hello Miss Kira.” Unisono, the class greeted her, and she could see the astonishment in Thranduil’s eyes as he was still standing in front of her open door, eager to see her flounder and fail, probably.

“Hello class.” Kira replied, her warmest smile on display and then, turning to her colleague, “Was there anything else I can do for you? If not, be so good as to close the door, please? Thank you.”

Kira was unsurprised to find that the kids were not anywhere near illiterate. Yes, their reading skills had to be improved upon, but they listened carefully as she explained J.R.R Tolkien’s early mythology and were willing to read some of the parts as their curriculum for this class.

“Will we have to buy the book?” Ori asked, worrying his lower lip. “There might be a copy or two in the library…but…” He went on, looking intensely miserable.

Kira caught Bilbo’s discreet look and the almost imperceptible shake of the head; his index rubbed ever so lightly across his thumb and Kira understood: money was an issue for some of these kids.

“I’ll see if the school can order them.” Kira replied vaguely. “And we get to keep them?” Ori exclaimed, his eyes sparkling like precious gems in a deep cavern.

Kira looked at her class, everyone but Bilbo looked wretched, but Kira knew that it was not for the same reasons. Having experienced Thranduil’s reaction first-hand, she could understand why Legolas would be afraid to bring home a book his father would think so far beyond his capacities that it would make the boy hate it; Tauriel, Ori and Bombur were probably loath to ask their parents or guardians for money for a schoolbook, especially as their actual schoolbooks were clearly hand-me-downs. Thorin and Dwalin worked hard for their money and should have the right to spend it on fun and extravagant teenage pleasures rather than dusty old books.

“The school will not spend one cent on us.” Thorin grumbled. “Well, tough luck for them, because I have a long wish list.” Kira replied, a steely note in her voice.

“What if the school says “no”?” Tauriel asked, taking into account everything that had been said.

“If the school says “no”, I’ll ask them why.” Kira answered. “Because they think we cannot read.” Legolas muttered.

“In that case, I will buy the rotten books myself and we will read them and that will teach them…No, I’m sorry, but is this a school or a prison? If a school decides that kids are denied materials to learn because they are unable to learn, then the fault lies with the school and not the kids. How about that?” Kira took a deep breath; it would not do to show the students her irrational frustration and anger with the school system in general and this school in particular.

“You’ll get yourself into trouble, Miss Kira.” Bombur commented between two bites of his sandwich.

“Good. I have to prove myself worthy of my class. So, where are we on those presentations?” Kira asked.

The minutes just flew, intelligent questions were asked, and answers were dug out, discussions were sparked and entertained, and Kira could feel herself breathe again. This was what she had dreamt of doing all her life.

“Listen class, I see you this afternoon and I wanted to ask you for a small favour. I want you to draw up, in your mind, your understanding of formal clothing. We’ll meet in the festivity room, and we’ll talk about an idea I had.”

Blank stares followed by excited chatter.

Bilbo’s eyes lit up. “I can wear my formal clothing. If I do, will you?” He asked Kira with earnest joy in his eyes.

“Deal.” She said and they shook hands on it. “No lunch for me then…” She chuckled, not in the least dismayed.

“See you this afternoon.” She waved at her class and made her way out of the school before someone else got it into their head to walk her to and from home.

What had she agreed to? Kira was exasperated by her hair and her sickly pale face, but she had given her word and she would not go back on it.

The long dark red dress shimmered in the midday light as she stepped out of the shower and pulled her hair up in a formal bun; she might as well go the whole nine yards, she thought, and put on make-up.

She felt silly and she couldn’t shake the impression of being watched as she walked back to school, her dress sweeping over the floor with every step.

“Kira.” Jesus Christ, was he everywhere? How many times had he said her name today?

“Thranduil?” She turned around, the flowing fabric billowing around her and almost making her stumble.

“Why do you…You look…Why…?” He would have looked adorably flustered if it hadn’t been for the frown that crossed his forehead as if some moody god had tried to strike out his face.

“Etiquette class this afternoon. We’ll start with formal clothing.” She replied haughtily and tried to walk away from him again, but he took one smooth step to block her path. Now, he was definitely doing it on purpose.

“Ah ok…Erm…Good afternoon.” He snapped, turned on his heels and walked back into the very direction he had originally come from. Did he often just walk to and fro for no reason?

“Miss Kira!” Ah, that was a much more welcome voice, Kira thought as Bilbo caught up with her. “Amazing idea, I am invited to Tho…Dís’ this afternoon and now, I don’t have to go home to change.”

Kira cocked her head questioningly. “That is nice, what is the occasion?” She asked. “Homework.” Bilbo replied.

“You do homework with Dís? In your formal clothing?” Kira frowned mockingly, exaggerating her confusion.

“No…erm…I…I do my homework with Thorin of course, but Dís invited me and I wanted to make a good impression on his…her…their family.” Bilbo spluttered, blushing a dark pink and rubbing his nose in embarrassment.

“Well, that is even nicer. I am glad to hear that you take your homework so seriously.” Kira smiled and let the boy lead her into the school. He was wearing a white shirt and a tawny waistcoat over a very formal looking pair of brown pants. Down to the pastel cravat and the pocket handkerchief, Bilbo looked like the very picture of sophisticated adolescence.

“I think you should not have worried that much.” Kira whispered as they approached the locked festivity room.

“Oh sweet potatoes and gravy.” Bilbo cursed under his breath, or at least his tone made Kira believe that it was meant as a curse.

Thorin looked like he was going to a funeral. All clad in black and dark blue, he reminded her of a raven more than of a boy, and his perpetual scowl had never looked as appropriate as in this moment.

“I look like a fool.” He complained, and Kira was about to tell him that she had never asked or forced him to don his most refined clothes, but Bilbo was quicker and his breathless “You look amazing” was probably also the better answer.

While she unlocked the room, a swishing sound got Kira’s attention and she turned around to see Legolas and Tauriel coming their way; they were both wearing clothes that looked foreign in cut and material: flowing, silky and absolutely stunning.

Kira patted herself on the back for her idea and, a few minutes later, when the whole class had arrived, she could feel excitement and interest burgeon instead of open hostility. Apparently, all of them had agreed to dig out their Sunday best for this class and Kira had to hold back not to stare at them in amazement.

They had never seen each other like that and the fact that they all seemed awkward and ill-at-ease made it easier for them to bond over the shared experience of trying to wear the clothes and not let the clothes wear them.

“You look absolutely marvellous.” Kira declared finally; her voice heavy with pride.

“I look like a clown.” Dwalin grumbled, the dark grey dress shirt taut over his broad chest and his dark hair slicked back elegantly. “You don’t.” Kira contradicted. He looked imposing and obviously uncomfortable, but he also looked very elegant and handsome in his dark trousers and his well-ironed shirt.

“We grown-ups wear our best clothes as an armour and as a reminder of who we want to be and what we want to represent. I see that you respect the weight that comes with formal clothing; your posture has improved, and this is the first time I don’t see any downcast looks and averted faces.”

She sighed: “You deserve to be proud of yourselves just as much as anybody else. This class is an etiquette class…and I want it to be a redemption. Children…we will have a ball.”

“A ball?” Tauriel piped up, her voice strangled with emotion. “A ball. We will have a winter formal.” Kira confirmed.

“Just us? Dís would love that.” Thorin blurted out and then hid behind his disapproving, grumpy mask again.

“No, not just us. We will organise it and the others will come and dance.” Kira smiled.

“We will?” Ori was doubtful. “Yup, we will see where your strengths lie and then we’ll work on everything that goes with it: cooking, serving, making small talk with Thranduil.”

“Are you sure you’re able to teach us that?” Dwalin muttered, apologising immediately when he realised that he said that out loud and that it was an insult that might well lead to ruining the good will Kira had for them.

“I am not, but we will all try. Should we try that?” Kira was worried that they’d refuse outright, that they’d laugh at her, but once again, the class surprised her when they all started talking at the same time.

“I am a good cook. God, I love food.” Bilbo exclaimed. “So do I!” Bombur laughed and ambled closer, already thinking up recipes that would work in that context.

“You’d dare organising a ball?” Thorin was standing right in front of her, his voice dangerously low.

“Yes…I’ve been told that Dwalin would give me a bloody nose for it.” Kira replied, acting braver than she felt.

“Dwalin? Never…He’s a good dancer and he loves it.” Thorin chuckled, a sound like faraway thunder rolling over the land and shaking the ground. “A ball…” Thorin mumbled pensively, his eyes wandering to Bilbo again and again.

Ah, yes, that was a part she had not thought about duly, Kira had to admit: with formals came the whole teenage anxiety-inducing ordeal of asking someone out and buying flowers and corsages.

“Hmmm, there should be fairy lights.” Ori muttered beside her, chewing on the end of his pen pensively. “We’d need a contraption of sorts for that, wouldn’t we?” Kira thought aloud, charmed by the idea and happy to have another one of them on board.

“That can be done. Legolas here is good at climbing things and we are good at crafting things.” Dwalin muttered in a low growl that was much less impressive as his eyes shone with a fierce glimmer of joy.

Kira had the feeling to grow taller by the minute; she was so proud of those kids who had been hailed as Satanists and who had followed her into every single thing she had pitched as a project. She would do her best not to let them down.

“Uh-oh.” Legolas made, standing a few feet away from her and looking around the walls to gauge how tall the ladder would have to be to attach fairy lights below the ceiling.

Whirling around, Kira almost ended up smothered in a dark grey woollen cardigan partially covering the white button-down she had looked at from much too close up this morning already. How many times could this man just manifest right behind her? Did he float? Was she deaf?

“The door was open.” Thranduil declared as if that explained his sudden appearance. “Yes, this is a school. If I locked myself in with a bunch of teenagers, with this bunch of teenagers, I’m sure someone would have called the firemen and the police by now.” Kira rolled her eyes. “Are you spying on us?” She asked with a wink.

“No…Class is over and I…I was curious what you were doing, looking like that…” He looked around and caught the embarrassed gaze of his son. “Oh, you look nice, Legolas.” He commented which made the boy’s ears turn pink with pleasure. “Thank you, Sir.” He breathed shyly.

“So…what is this going to be when it’s over?” Thranduil leant against the door he had pulled shut behind him and Kira couldn’t help noticing how tall he was; he had slender limbs and his whole body seemed to flow in almost liquid lines.

Snap out of it girl, he has asked you a question, Kira admonished herself and replied: “A ball. We’re going to have a ball.”

The closed door made her feel claustrophobic all of a sudden; it felt strangely as if she was the one pressed against the hard surface with Thranduil towering over her, the cool, gauging expression in his eyes making her squirm.

“Ah, really? And…will you send hand-written invitation to said ball?” Thranduil cocked one eyebrow. “Maybe we will.” Kira gave back in a stroppy tone. “So, the other classes are invited?” He pressed on.

“Why? Do you want to chaperone?” Thorin chuckled grimly. “As their headteacher, it falls within my responsibilities to oversee this kind of celebration if my class is to attend.” Thranduil answered stiff-lipped.

“Oi, lads, we are going to send old Thrandy an invitation.” Dwalin hooted under his breath, for he had caught the flash of embarrassment in the teacher’s eyes; Thranduil wanted to come, he wanted to be invited.

“Yes, quiet, Dwalin, thank you. Those are things to decide later in the process.” Kira tried to prevent a complete derailment of the conversation into complete and utter chaos.

“You are dismissed, I’ll see you the day after tomorrow.” Kira ushered the children out, confused by the fact that her colleague made no attempt to follow either the stream of chattering youngsters or his own son.

“I had hoped you would come to the lunchroom.” Thranduil murmured as soon as the students had vanished around the corner, flipping a strand of his perfectly smooth almost colourless hair over his shoulder nervously.

“Dude, this,” Kira pointed at her face and her dress, “did not happen in a jiffy. I had to go home and change. Otherwise, I would have come.”

“Ah…yes…well, it would be a shame to waste such a tremendous effort.” As he saw Kira’s face sour, he went on quickly: “Not that I want to insinuate that it would take a great deal of effort to make yourself look lovely, but as you’ve pointed out that you’ve taken pains to create this…” He waved helplessly at her, “I wondered what you had planned for dinner.”

I don’t cook myself a three-course menu, Kira thought, remembering the can of beans in her cupboard; she had not had the time or the inclination to go shopping since arriving and she was not exactly looking forward to the beans.

“Nothing. Why?” She asked, shrugging and retrieving her satchel from the floor.

“If you don’t mind seeing your students AGAIN today, there’s a little restaurant down the street. I feel like we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. Maybe, we can resolve that issue over dinner.”

Was she seeing things or did his face twitch?

“What makes you say that?” She asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

“You’ve called me an asshole? I am confident in saying that you do not like me overmuch.” He muttered, visibly annoyed. “True. I am sorry for insulting you.” Kira stood firm, not sure if she fancied having dinner with her stuck-up colleague whose eyes were dancing with dizzying stars like fireflies over a frozen lake.

#Fanfiction #Bagginshield #Kira chapter #AU #School AU #Thranduil #OC #dinner? #upping the cliffhangers #First try AU

[gimmethehobbit]

2020 Fanart Highlights

Thanks for tagging me @une-amie!! Love your art btw!

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Yay, nothing like a little artistic self-reflection! I’ll stick to linking to my comics and art (I have some rotten fic festering on the distant regions of the internet that we won’t mention here lol)

I think I drew more comics in 2020 than I did the previous two years? While my style has gotten less cute and I’m using almost no color, I actually don’t feel too bad about it. The art always served the punchline/gag anyway. If I got you to chuckle/smile with my comic then it’s mission accomplished for me. Also, around when quarantine started is when I got a drawing tablet and basically everything I’ve posted since then has been drawn digitally. I’ll go chronologically over my faves:

Pining Keith in 2020 [VLD | Klance] It seems like I optimistically start every year ranting that this will be the year of klance (now years after the actual show ended.) My favorite thing to do is cut corners so repeating panels and just changing expressions/dialogue is the absolute BEST and I encourage everyone to do it! No one will notice or care! :D This one was still pencil on paper, which I kind of miss because it carries a certain energy that digital misses.

RA Comix: ONE FEAR [Richard Armitage] Okay, this one has like NO notes but I died laughing making it. We could have had a really epic closing chapter to the whole RA/LP thing but I guess now we’ll never know? (is the con even being rescheduled??) Also any RA fan is free to reuse this for whatever RA’s current fear is lmao.

Michigan J. Frog! [Looney Tunes] I worked full-time during quarantine. But on a random day off I thought, you know what, I should really draw Michigan J. Frog on this tablet I’m still getting used to. I think he turned out alright. It’s still my aim to animate him once I have like a year off :P

RA turns 49 [Richard Armitage] This one is very special to me because I spent 5 minutes drawing it and then like an hour just playing around with cut and paste and warping his face. The real satisfaction here was making myself cackle. Also I love that his doll friend is the only thing worthy of being put in color. Did I mention how much I HATE coloring comics???? Which leads me to coloring art...

Leatherface’s Quarantine Advice [Horror | Texas Chainsaw Massacre] This was the first one of my horror/artober challenge. Drawing/coloring is hard! He came out okay, if a bit smudgy but I’m still perplexed over how I did that real cool-looking sky and background.   

You’ll Float Too! [Horror | It Movie | Pennywise] Stylistically I went for something that looked like a kid drew it and I think I really nailed it! 😆

ANNABEL/LE’S [Horror | Annabelle | RA’s friend lol] Probably the art piece I spent the most time on this year? Aka more than an hour. Had a lot of fun painting her, I was in the Zone. Really like how her creepy face plays with light and shadow. That blood tear is pretty spot-on 👌 Also nothing like the juxtaposition between Annabelle’s realistic creepiness and the cartoony Annabel 🤡

(audio scream warning!->)  Thrandy Scream [LOTR/Hobbit | Thranduil | Legolas] Including this one because it’s one of three animations I did last year along with Thorin’s McRib and Artie Fufkin. I was all set to do a bunch more and then I realized CSPaint has me stuck on a time limit of just a few seconds??? So that kind of sucks. But I like merging audio with crudely moving art. Definitely want to try more of it. Also amused myself by drawing Thrandy after a long hiatus.

That’s all folks! Lmk if there’s something you want to see more of this year :3 (I fell off the RA train because I don’t do audiobooks but I can always make shit up 🤪)

Tagging @heyholmesletsgo @oldfarmerbillswife @sillymarillion-comics @aninomori @atanes-universe @monkeyscomics @thejerseydevile  @evankart and any other artist/writer/creator who wants to do this!

#2020 fanart highlights #tag game #damn i spent longer writing this post than drawing some of these comics i mentioned #🥴

[ridiculoussquid]

Deck the Antlers

Characters: Tauriel, Legolas, Thranduil, Thranduil’s swag stag

Pairings: none

Words: 947 Rating: G Summary: The one in which kiddie Tauriel decides that Thrandy's swag stag needs some decorating and ropes Legolas into her plans. Notes:  Written for Day 18 of Arda Advent on @ardaprompts

Warnings: none

Prompt: 18 - wreaths and garlands

Also posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17039198

“I’m not sure Adad will like this,” Legolas pointed out.

“Of course he will! He loves Daeraras and he loves pretty things. Why wouldn’t he like it if we combine those things?” Tauriel asked.

“I don’t know, I just don’t have a good feeling about this. And he doesn’t like when I go to Daeraras without someone to watch me.”

“Don’t be such a craven,” Tauriel said. “And besides, I’m here to watch you.”

Legolas huffed. “You’re even smaller than I am. What good will you be if something goes wrong?”

“Well, I’m obviously a lot braver than you are. And Daeraras is much too friendly to hurt us. I’ll do it without you if you don’t want to join me, but it will be more fun if you do help me.”

Legolas sighed. “Alright. But it’s not my fault if something goes wrong.”

Tauriel hugged him. “Thank you!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the stable, her bag swinging from her other hand.

“Slow down!” Legolas said. “We’ll startle Daeraras if we run.”

“Oh, right. Of course.” Tauriel stopped running but her impatience was still visible in her step.

When they reached the stall, Daeraras slowly came over and looked at them.

“He’s so huge,” Tauriel breathed, even though she had already been close to the elk quite a few times before.

“So what do you want to do now?” Legolas asked.

“Decorate him, of course. I’ve already told you that.”

“And how exactly do you want to do that when he’s so large and you’re so small?”

“Don’t be silly, I’ll stand on this wall of course. Help me up.”

Reluctantly, Legolas held his hands together so that she could use them as a ladder. Tauriel scrabbled up and began stroking Daeraras’s soft nose.

“Hand me my bag,” she demanded.

Legolas did as he was told and she pulled some garlands from it.

“Are those the ones Adad wants the servants to decorate the Throne Hall with?” Legolas asked.

Tauriel shrugged. “Just a few of them.”

“Won’t they miss these garlands?”

Tauriel rolled her eyes. “They have so many of them, they won’t miss these. Stop spoiling all the fun!”

“I’m not! I’m just pointing out all the weak points of your plans!”

“Which is spoiling the fun!”

“Is not!”

Tauriel said nothing more and put a wreath around Daeraras’s neck and began wrapping fir garlands around one of his antlers.

Legolas crossed his arms and watched her.

“This is boring,” he said eventually.

“Of course it is, if you’re not going to help me. Come on, get onto the wall and help me decorate. You can do the other antler.”

Legolas looked around. He spotted a stool which he carried over to the wall so that he could climb up too. His face still doubtful, he took another garland from the bag and started wrapping it around the other antler.

Tauriel beamed at him. “This is fun, isn’t it?”

Legolas nodded and grinned back at her. “Yes.”

Tauriel had finished wrapping the garlands around the antler and began pulling little decorations made of wood and straw from the bag and hanging them on the garlands.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to eat that!” She scolded when Daeraras got hold of a star made from straw. Daeraras just looked at her with his big eyes and continued chewing.

“He’s an elk, what did you think he’d do if you dangle some straw in front of his mouth?” Legolas asked.

Tauriel stuck out her tongue at him. “You should hurry up or I’ll be done decorating my side much sooner than you.”

“Well, you did get a head start.”

“I’m still faster than you are!”

“If we make a race out of this, it will just look ugly,” Legolas pointed out.

Tauriel chewed on her bottom lip. “Alright, let’s not make it a race. But if I finish sooner than you and I will, I will help you on your side. Just watching is boring.”

“Fair enough,” Legolas agreed and went back to decorating.

They added straw stars, little wooden animals and straw elves to the garlands. At the bottom of the bag, Tauriel had some red berries.

“Where do you have those from?” Legolas asked.

“Just from somewhere.”

“You didn’t take them from where Adad keeps the supply for decorating his crown, did you?”

“No?”

Legolas scrutinised her. Tauriel stared back, shuffling her feet.

“That’s not very convincing,” Legolas said.

“I might have? I only took a few and he has so many of them. He’s not going to miss them.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“Besides, they’ll look pretty on Daeraras. The decorations need some colour.”

Legolas looked at their work so far. A little red probably would improve it. “Alright, since we already have the berries here.”

Tauriel grinned at him. “Good, then let’s get started.”

Together, they tied the red berries into the wreath and garlands while Daeraras patiently stood still.

“What’s going on here?!”

The king’s voice startled both of them and Legolas nearly lost his balance. The king did not look nearly as happy as Tauriel had imagined.

“Are you decorating my elk?! Are those the garlands for the Throne Hall? And the berries for my crown?”

“She started it!” Legolas said quickly.

Tauriel burst into tears. “I did not! He did!”

“No! She made me come here and help her!”

“How would I do that? You always like to point out how tiny I am. You started it!”

Thranduil sighed. Why had he ever thought that it would be a good idea for Legolas to have an adopted little sister? But at least Daeraras looked rather festive.

#tauriel #legolas #the hobbit #fanfiction #ardaadvent #my fanfiction #thranduil #thranduil's swag stag

[blankdblank]

Forgotten Pt 3

pt1 - Pt 2 -

Mainly Fluff, delving more into relationship with Thrandy. Bit short and it seems like I might have brushed off Draco in this bit but when the drama picks up he’ll return and it’ll make sense, hopefully.

Tags –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @abiwim​, @jotink78, @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25

…

Clutching the end of his sleeves Fili inched over to your side as subtly as he could manage. After your breakfast Thranduil drove you and your Cousin Draco to your shop giving him the full tour as Thranduil headed off to his clinic to help with an issue about the records from his aid that had mixed them up accidentally before returning to your side once again. Taking a closer look at your boat Draco moved away from your side while you caught Fili’s intention and subtly moved a bit closer.

Leaning towards your side feigning reaching for a tool before you he stated, “Not sure if you heard yet, Tauriel sent the pub papers back.”

You nodded, “I did.”

His eyes met yours, “Well? When did you want me to drop it off back to you?”

Your brow rose, “I’m not taking the cash back Fi. It’s Ki’s.”

His hand rested on your forearm at your attempt to step away, “But-.”

Forcing a smirk onto your face you said, “Fi, what about all those designs Ki had?” Fili’s lips parted, “Rattled on about them endlessly for months. Just needed a backer.” Fili nodded, “Well he found one. We all have our dreams we brought back home.” He softly chuckled at your playful smile as you moved back to join Draco, showing him inside the boat and pointing out where everything is going to go before showing him the final designs until Thranduil returned to take you out to the next town over for a full day of exploring then returned just in time for a dinner at the Manor. Around you the Elves sat smiling and laughing through your trading of stories about your various sets of travels lasting until you left for bed once again leaving word with Thorin to unlock the shop at your having to drop Draco off at the airport for his flight back.

.

With a tight hug Draco gave you a peck on the cheek mumbling against your shoulder, “I’m going to miss you Lady Bug. But at least with my new station at Lothlorien we can see each other more often.” Setting you down he smiled at you, “I’m glad you’re safe. When I was there, at the pub-.”

“I know I’m not supposed to interfere, but she had no right to do that to him, take everything.”

Pressing a kiss to your forehead he sighed and met your eyes again with a soft smile, “I was talking about how Thranduil kept staring at you.” Making your smile grow, “You might not be able to still get his story by touch, but I can.” His smile grew at the flash of worry in your eyes, “Nothing like that. He truly cares for you. There’s still a bit I need to learn about everyone here, and hopefully after my duty is up I could possibly move here too. Truly is peaceful.”

Your smile grew, “We could always use another mechanic.”

“Good.” His hand eased over your cheek, “About Kili and his pub, I’m not mad. From what I can tell other than opening your shop that’s the first you’ve interfered. Enjoy your life, protect your family and never forget I’m always going to be here when you need me.” You nodded again stealing another tight hug before he climbed into the waiting cab at the train station waiting to take him to the airport. With another wave he was gone and you turned back to head back inside the train station to wait for the two hour long train ride back again.

...

Alone through the exiting terminal again you walked finding your motorcycle giving it a kick start and taking the long ride home again through the growing green back to the small shop you parked in front of. Shutting off your bike you walked inside joining the others on unpacking the first pieces of interior for Thranduil’s boat.

Hour by hour you organized it and started installing the most basic pieces first inside the freshly sealed and reinforced lower sleeper cabin. An echo of your stomach broke through the sounds of the whirring machine in your hand drawing a sigh from you leading your path home once again as the Durins all helped you lock up for the day. Seated squarely on your bike you pulled into your driveway and couldn’t help but smile at the familiar sports car waiting there with a puffed up Helmsley on his hood tapping his tail against it counting down until he began yowling at the pair of you for his unfed status should you miss the deadline and he heard a grumble from his own stomach. Biting his lip Thranduil watched you park in your garage and accepted your tight hug when you walked over to him as his eyes closed taking in the details of your trip trapped in your thick layers while his lips met your forehead.

“I made a drive, closed early for supplies in the town over, got us some dinner.”

Meeting his eye again your smile grew, “Thank you.”

Through a muffled giggle from you his lips met yours for an enamored kiss ending and allowing you to step back smiling at the irritated cat rising up on his haunches accepting your curling him in your arms for the trip inside while his tail curled around your arm supporting his weight. Behind you Thranduil opened his car grabbing the bags of food and followed you inside, joining you at the table as you set Helmsley down and filled his bowl with the food Thranduil had brought over the night before. 

You turned around pulling out of your jacket to hang it up and join your smiling date at the table as he filled the wine glasses he had set out for you around the meals he had set out for you both. A warning grumble came from beside the bowl next to the counter signaling the claiming of your seats as Thranduil slid closer to your side with a creeping smile asking about your trip wishing to simply watch your smile grow through sharing.

The dishes were washed and set in the dishwasher when your plates were finally cleared, as you yawned Thranduil’s hand curled around yours following you into the bedroom at the repeating of your offer of him staying over. While you changed in your closet he pulled out of his shirt and sat on your bed against the pillows sliding his fingers over the furs and impossibly soft layers on the equally as soft mattress packed with memories of your smile as you burrowed in this safe space deepening the smile on his face. 

As the door opened he released his lip from between his teeth looking up at you in one of your tank tops and your favorite shorts over your long socks while you worked your hair into a long braid on your path over to him. In a lean over he switched off the light for you spotting Helmsley claiming a spot at the foot of the bed under one of your furs as you released your braid and climbed into bed.

After a slide down onto his back Thranduil accepted your good night kiss and smiled curling his arms around you when you settled against his side using his shoulder as a pillow. Slowly you drifted off to sleep struggling to finally let go and drop off at the feeling of the icy blue eyes still looking you over adoringly while his fingers eased along your back in slow gentle strokes. Mirroring yours his smile grew, easing your hand higher on is shoulder you giggled and softly stated, “You should be sleeping.”

As his adoring gaze deepened looking over your face with still shut eyes he chuckled lowly and replied in a velvety purr, “How can I sleep with pure starlight I my arms?”

Through an awkward giggle your hand moved blindly to cover his eyes as you cuddled closer to him, “Go to sleep.” Giggling again.

As he chuckled again he purred back, “Cover my eyes all you want I can still picture your magnificence perfectly.”

Burying your head against his neck while his arms circled you tighter at your hand moving to curl around his side, “You need to rest for work tomorrow. Close your eyes go to sleep, Duil.”

Settling you closer to him as his lips met the crown of your head, “Alright, but I’ll be dreaming of you, and you’ll be in my arms there too.” Making you giggle against his neck when you kissed him there.

“Goodnight Duil.”

Closing his eyes he exhaled slowly allowing the memories of your smile trapped in these sheets allowing himself to slip off as he purred, “Goodnight my Darling Starlight.” As the night went on his smile inched wider through each mingled dream of all the places and moments he wished to share with you, always ending with a recap of your short time dancing under the stars while their light shimmered brightly across your skin.

..

“Meoooow!” Through slitted eyes you both peered at the cat slumping onto Thranduil’s side and sliding towards his face stirred a chuckle from the Elf trying so hard to keep hold of you for just a short while longer making you giggle in return.

In a low mumble against the top of your head he said, “You really need to work on your inner alarm clock. Just because the birds are up doesn’t mean you have to be.”

Another chuckle came from him at the tail curling around his ear making him try to squirm and burrow with you under the pillows and covers until the cat followed him there triggering a squirming fit from him at the tickling attack until he finally climbed out of bed while you laid there laughing at his near jumping out of bed calling out, “Fine.” Walking through the cottage to the door in the kitchen you heard him say, “The sun’s not even up yet!” After a pleased ‘meow’ at his being free to explore Thranduil added, “Now don’t you go bringing that badger back here for breakfast! He will not be destroying her curtains like he did mine!” Giggling behind your hands you heard him add, “Anything involving all my fruit, half my cutlery and a blender is not an accident!” With a huff he closed the door and walked back to join you unable to hold back his smile at your escaping laughs. Biting his lip he climbed onto your bed and crawled back into his former spot in his attempt to hold you again.

Mid giggle you said drove his smile wider saying, “You got tickled out of bed!”

With a blush he replied, “He is a very crafty cat.”

“Apparently with very mischievous friends.”

You giggled again through his lips landing on yours as he chuckled too, “The badger is the better of them. Don’t even ask about the porcupine.”

“Oh! With the red patch on his stomach?!”

Thranduil smirked as he pulled back to look at your face, “You know about him?”

“He owes me a chisel! Four years back he stole my best one! Promised to return it, something about helping a beaver.”

Thranduil chuckled, “Ah, well if it has a frog symbol on the handle I found it in my gutters when I first moved in.”

“How the-.”

He chuckled again, “Seems we have both had casualties in the fur coated feud.”

Closing the distance you claimed another kiss from him trailing a finger along his jaw just under his ear triggering a quirky smile to form on his face. “Tons of new discoveries this morning. You being ticklish as one of them.” A chuckle sounded from him at your inching closer to him deepening his expression while he struggled against his urge to pull back to fend off another attack, “Don’t worry, I will only use it on very, very special occasions.” Biting his lip he chuckled through an exhale at your lips pressing just below his ear while you brushed him onto his back and curled across his chest while his arms circled you through his drawing the covers higher over your back.

“Special how?”

His lips met your forehead as you nuzzled your head against his cheek kissing that same spot again, “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Earning another chuckle from him at his eyes closing, “I look forward to it.”

..

Halfway through your shift, once again covered in grease at your guiding the new propeller and rudder systems into place your head turned spotting a familiar tall blonde walking into the shop eyeing the large array of plans Kili was utilizing his Uncles to put the designs for the new expansion for he pub together before calling on their distant Cousins to do the work from the Iron Hills. Crouching at your side you giggled under your breath at his stolen peck on your cheek before his asking, “Getting along well?”

You nodded securing the last set of bolts into place, “Ya. Laid the build ins earlier after we set up all the wiring, flooring will be tomorrow after I add the final touches and checks on the steering systems.”

“That’s good. Moving ahead pretty quickly now huh?”

With another giggle through your wiping your hands on the rag from your pocket you said, “Tearing it apart is one thing, building it back is another. Not any easier. Won’t be overnight but it should be done before spring, hopefully.” Pointing your finger at him an excited smile grew on his face as you said, “I do have a few questions though.” Giggling as you led him backwards for a few steps until you turned and walked over to your work bench showing him the final designs once again for a few more details at the lack of a few materials he had decided on months prior. “Apparently they won’t have the leather to cover the benches you wanted,”

“It doesn’t really matter.” You met his gaze with a disbelieving look only to have him lean in to land his lips on yours, “As long as you’re there I don’t care if I’ve got folding chairs in the sleeper.”

Rolling your eyes you replied, “I will never, never, let a boat leave this shop with folding chairs, even if I have to eat the costs.” Making him chuckle again.

“Pick what you like. I won’t be going out without you. As long as it has the yellow stripe on the side I am fine with anything.” After you giggled he replied, “My Ada had these model ships he’d build and they always ended up with a yellow stripe.”

You nodded, “He liked yellow?”

“My Naneth’s favorite color.” Locking your eyes with his you spotted his glimmer of pain in them. “That’s why I’m calling it Marigold.”

“Her name?”

“No.” He chuckled softly, “But she loved to name things Marigold, even had a toaster named Marigold once as a child.” Stirring another chuckle from you both. “Had I been a girl I am certain that would have been my name.”

“I’m certain it would have suited you nicely.”

He chuckled again, “As am I.” After a glance at his watch he stole another kiss, “Pick for me please, I’m helpless with all this, Dearest.” Smiling wider as you rolled your eyes and turned back to the designs while he walked back to his car heading back to the clinic once again.

Tapping your pencil on the desk you felt Dwalin joining your side, peering over your shoulder asking, “He couldn’t decide?”

After another giggle his smile grew at your response, “Asked me to.”

With a deep chuckle of his own he said, “Well now, finally you get to build your dream boat. Didn’t think the leather suited the look at all in the first place. Probably picked it so it’d take longer to piece together.”

“Wouldn’t doubt it. What do you think of the grey?”

“I think it’ll pair nicely with the wood finish.” With a wink at you he added, “Right out marvel she’ll be. All due to you.”

…

Under the rising moon you crossed the field between you and the Manor with a basket tucked in your elbow. Through the glass doors you caught Thranduil hunched over the counter waiting on his kettle to boil after having to drive out to help his Father with a lengthy surgery. In an attempt to knock on the glass pane your hand froze at Helmsley’s trot to the door to leap and grip the tassle on the knob causing it to swing open causing Thranduil to straighten with a sigh to go and close the door again. When his eyes fell on you his smile grew as he eyed your pajama clad self raising the basket higher at your side saying, “Thought you might be hungry.”

Biting his lip he crossed the room claiming your basket and the hug you curled him in as he said, “Just what I needed. To see you again.” Pressing a kiss to the top of your head and guiding you inside for a late dinner with the pleased cat seated between your feet using one of them as his pillow through your learning about his trip and what he could share about the surgery. Not long after the meal had been cleared up he smirked through his trip into his study with you in tow curled under his arm through his tour, leaving your side only to open a drawer and pull out your hand forged chisel wrapped in a bright yellow ribbon making a bow. His smile grew as he offered it to you leaving it in your open palm, “Scrubbed it up quite a bit.”

Your brows rose as you eyed the velvet box tied to your chisel. “And the box?”

As his smirk grew he replied, “Not a clue. From the porcupine, most likely.”

Nodding with a growing smirk urging an awkward smile to grow on his face only growing as you opened it eyeing the diamond necklace inside, “The porcupine bought me diamonds?”

“He must be incredibly sorry for misplacing your chisel.” You rolled your eyes again while he walked over and placed the necklace around your neck leaving a peck on your neck as he did.

“Would you mind thanking him for me then? Quite exquisite taste he has.”

After his nod he purred against your ear, “I will. It looks magnificent on you Dearest.” Planting his lips firmly on yours smirking against your lips at your turn to ease your arms around his neck while his curled around your back. “Tired?”

“Would you mind me staying, or-.”

He stole another kiss, “Stay over any time you wish. I’ll give you a quick tour of what’s on our way.”

Room by room after the grand staircase you eyed each of the moonlit statues and paintings decorating the empty rooms before the gasp that drew his smile wider and him to lead you into what could only be a small ballroom filled with crystal coated chandeliers and candelabras reflecting light onto the mural coated ceiling and walls. Barely above a whisper as you turned in a small half circle you muttered, “Wow.”

Moving closer to you his hand found yours to lead you in a quick spin through his lips finding your neck, “One night, when we’re not so exhausted I’ll break out my records and we can dance all night in the moonlight, hmm?”

Still moving your feet your lips met his after your nod, holding each other through another few turns until he sighed softly starting to lead you back to the door shifting you back to his side. Stealing more glances at each room until you finally found his bedroom,  the massive room with the large four poster curtain enclosed bed surrounded by various pieces of art you inspected including a few sketches of you, while he said, “I’ll light the fire.”

You nodded blindly turning and exploring the room until you ended up backing into his chest when he moved to hug you, stirring a quiet giggle from you, “It’s incredible.”

His smile grew as you turned to face him and the golden firelight spread across your skin while he led you over to the bed, “I’m glad you like it.” Holding his smile as you climbed onto the bed and settled back while he pulled out of his shirt and tossed it away then climbed onto the bed under the covers to spread out across you using your shoulder as a pillow, smiling as you brushed his hair out of his face.

You settled together winding your legs around his while you curled your arms across his back feeling each of the memories flooding through the sheets. Mainly tossing and turning mingled with bouts of recitations of countless attempts at poems between the occasional heated moment where your name spilled out between low moans at his own imaginations of you. Halfway through the final memory, one of him singing a near fragile song through his sketching of something your eyes opened at his stating, “I should have set out the crystals first.”

Gliding your fingers through his hair again you left a kiss on his forehead replying, “Don’t you dare. You are an incredible poet, with an amazing voice.” He tilted his head back claiming another loving kiss before your smirking addition of, “And I love the way you whisper my name.”

Quickly he rose to turn over saying, “I’m getting the crystals.” Your giggles sounded as your hands met his ticklish spots gaining a squirm from him dropping him to his side through a laugh until you curled your legs around his. Pressing your chest against his back with your fingers gliding over his chest turning his head to face you after your kiss on his neck and soft nip at his ear. His eyes scanned over your face until they shut at your lips meeting his through your hands trailing lower over his chest stirring deeper breaths from him at their teasing circles while a muffled near moan was lost to your impassioned lip lock.

#Thranduil x Reader OC #Hobbit #lotr

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Unadulterated Crack Part 12

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x Reader

Word Count: 1,475

warnings: Angst, Humor, slight violence, Thorin being a diddly dumb ass, Implied smut, Shunning, attempted blackmail, Thranduil being an ass, and alcohol usage

A/N: I know I said you’d get the next chapter in November, but I didn’t want to wait, plus I’m feeling motivated for once.

— Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7— Part 8 — Part 9— Part 10 — Part 11— Part 12 — Part 13 —Part 14 — Part 15— Part 16— Part 17 — Part 18 — Part 19 — Part 20 — Part 21 —  

    It took Thorin two hours to realize he had over looked you, and left you without reassurance that he was alright. He sought you out, and when he found you leaning up against a boulder on the river bank with Dwalin lurking not far from you. He realized that Dwalin had been more than a little clingy and protective of you then he had in the past. But Thorin thought nothing of it, he assumed that Dwalin was just protecting you because you had Thorin's braids in your hair. He approached you, and once you were in arm's reach he took a hold of your waist between his hands. He cooed, "I am sorry I did not come to you earlier." Much to Thorin's surprise you did not receive him as he had hoped. He had wanted you to hug and kiss him, and ask if he was alright while looking at him with concerned eyes filled with love. Instead you slapped him, hard, across the face and glared at him with cold eyes. You screamed, "What were you thinking! How could you be so reckless, and stupid!"

     Thorin held his stinging right cheek, and stuttered, "W-what do you mean!"     You seized him by the front of his coat, and yelled, "You went charging into a fight by yourself when you were out numbered, and your enemy had the high ground! You are damn lucky that Bilbo acted when he did or you'd be dead! You are also lucky that I didn't get a chance to get my hands on you sooner cause I would have done more than just slap you! Your people are relying on you to reclaim Erebor and you can't do that if you are dead! Do you know how scared I was that I'd loose you! If you ever do something so stupid again you better hope they kill you or that I don't find out you did, cause if the latter happens I will kill you my own damn self!" throwing your arms around him and sobbing into his shoulder. 

    After Gandalf told all of you that the viscous bear outside was their host, Beorn, everyone went to settle down for the night. As Bifur, Bofur, Dwalin, Bilbo, and Fili and Kili headed to the barn to sleep you looked over at them and said, "Remember boys, even," Then you bleated like a goat, and continued, "Means no."

     The rest of the company burst out laughing, as Thorin rubbed the bridge of his nose and groaned at your bestiality joke. Thorin then led you to a pile of hay in the stables, he wrapped his arms around you, and said, "I want you." kissing your neck.

      You chuckled, "I'm not quite sure I have forgiven you for nearly getting yourself killed." leaning your head back to expose more of your throat to him.     "Then let me make it up to you." He hummed, as his hands began to knead your rear.

    At the Elvish Gate, as Gandalf demanded they not free his horse, you grabbed him, pulled him down to your level, and hissed, "You better bring Thrain back alive and in one piece or I swear I will tell everyone about your true nature Olorin!" in his ear.

    After he left, you stuck with Thorin and Dwalin, and tried to keep the whole together as they descended into the delirious madness that the forest engenders, which didn't really seem to have any effect on you. You felt like you were a shepherd trying to keep a flock of drunken toddlers together. When the spiders came you didn't stand a chance with the Company being so goofy. When Bilbo cut all of you down, he made sure to do you last so you didn't get squished by your Dwarven companions. 

    After Thranduil had spoke to Thorin, he sent for you for some odd reason. When you entered the throne room, Thranduil was pouring himself a goblet of wine. He said, "Tell me, what is a child of man doing traveling with a group of Dwarves with a death wish?"

     "Death wish? What death wish?" you mocked innocence. 

    Thranduil glared at you, and states, "The wish to slay a dragon and reclaim a home land."

     "Well we're not here to fuck spiders." You sneer.     He points at you and firmly whispered, "Do not speak to me in such a manner, I am a king."

     "Well I didn't vote for you." you quip.

     Thranduil says, "That's not how that works."

     "You are a king amongst elves Thrandy, and I am not an elf, so do not expect me to kiss your ass like everyone else with pointless formalities. I am not a child, saying that you have a born right to rule just because of your lineage will not work with me." you snap.

     He stared at you for a moment, before smiling softly and saying, "You are a strange girl, but you amuse me. Would you like some wine, it's the very best my halls can offer." 

        Your mind shoots to the baby, and you huff, "I should not, now did you bring me here merely to get a look at the odd ball, and waste my time. Or did you want something?"

     Thranduil examined you closely, his eyes wandering over your form. After a few minutes, his eyes grew wide, and he breathed, "You're pregnant?"

     "That is besides the point." You growl, "are you done wasting my time with your games?"

     Thranduil said, "It is a child of Durin, is it not?"

     "That is none of your business. Now tell me what you want, or I'll go back to the dungeons my own damn self." you puff.

     Thranduil sighed, "very well," dramatically, he said, "When I mentioned you to your foolish leader, and he became rather defensive. I wished to know what makes you so unique that you managed to worm your way into that oaf's heart."

     "I like to think it's my perky nipples." You snort.

      Thranduil laughed, "I see why he seems so fond of you now, you are lively. Tell me does he know you are carrying his child?" You avoided eye contact, with the Elf king, after a minute, Thranduil hummed, "Do you fear that he would not accept your child due to its mixed blood? Is that why you hide it from Thorin?"

     "No, I do it to protect him, he has enough to worry about already. He does not need to fret over it now, I will tell him when December rolls around." You admit having been found out.

    Thranduil said, "I will make you a deal, if you get me the gems of star light that I desire, I will keep your secret from Thorin."

     "I have a counter offer, you even think of opening your big mouth to Thorin, I will take those gems and throw them into the deepest part of the lake." You retort.

     His eyes widened as he breathed, "you would not dare."

     "Wanna bet?" You huffed.

     He looked you up and down before muttered, "I see why Thorin likes you." before saying, "I will not tell your beloved fool that you are with his child, but I require that you at least attempt to convince him to return the gems to me."

     "That will not be possible at least until after November twenty third." You shrug.

     He eyed you curiously, and asked, "Do pray tell as to why that is?"

     "He's been falling deeper into the dragon sickness the nearer we get to Erebor. By the time we actually reach the mountain it will be in full control. But Thorin is not like his grandfather, he will beat it on his own on the twenty third and he will fight in the battle. After then, if he survives, and I do as well, I will help you try to negotiate with him. He's usually more receptive to something when I am around. You will also have to compromise with him, you can't just demand he return them without offering something in return. The mere fact that you foolishly revealed how desperate you are for the return of your wife's jewels means he has the advantage. However I make no promises that I will succeed, I am just one woman Thranduil. I alone cannot undo thousands of years of hate and mistrust between the Dwarves and Elves. Also I do not know if I myself will survive the battle, so do not get your hopes up. However you need to arrive at Erebor after you hear Smaug is dead, with two thousand armed elves, and plenty of food and medical supplies to share amongst Dwarves, men, and elves." You caution.

     Thranduil nods his head, and assures, "We have a deal, now I will return you to your cell."

— Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7— Part 8 — Part 9— Part 10 — Part 11— Part 12 (here)— Part 13 —Part 14 — Part 15— Part 16— Part 17 — Part 18 — Part 19 — Part 20 — Part 21 —  

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