#wallowing with Jesus

[heyitsphoenixx]

my mother was genuinely trying to make the argument that people do not fundamentally care about each other’s stories and only care in the ways they can relate their stories to their own experiences and therefore no one should ever try to make new plot lines or share their stories bc it’s all been told before and the only point to you sharing your story is for your own therapy bc no one actually cares and humans aren’t actually pack animals but lone wolves and we keep saying we want to change the world and we could so easily overthrow people in power but bc no one actually cares about each other we don’t do it and just give up. I have never been more certain in my whole life that I am right in saying she could not be more wrong. for the love of god please just share an orange with someone

#this is the same woman who will start yelling at the tv if she can follow the plot that’s coming within the first five mins #and has said before she hates people talking to her and doesn’t care what anyone has to say #like of fucking course you think that!!!! but not everyone has the same brain rot as you!!!! #and if you actually think that’s true in all your fifty years of wisdom from living #then be the fucking exception!!!!! care!!!!!! about something or someone!!!!! #jesus fuck!!!!! #I tried to argue but she gave me a look that was like #‘uh huh but I’m so much older than you I’ve Seen The World I Know better’ #like. the length of your life does not make you more correct than me by default #sorry I’m ranting I’m just like. jfc then fucking care!!!!! do something instead of wallowing in self pity #and saying that you’re just ‘noticing the truth’ instead of being a martyr #anyway. #go hug somebody. lay in the grass in the sun

[words-writ-in-starlight]

I don't remember who recommended that I read Hands of the Emperor but I'm losing my mind and driving everyone I live with up the wall, so

Well played

#nine worlds #I'm on atfots and I'm going to murder kip with my bare hands and then get him a hot chocolate #also i read aurelius tbc magnus and WOOF i am feeling some FEELINGS about my dude aurelius and his boyfriend #i want a fic with time travel accidents where his radiancy and aurelius magnus meet #i ALSO want a fic of some magical accident happening and his radiancy being deaged #i just want the household to wallow in how angry they are about everything that happened to him #and also for him to get...like...a Nice Time as a child #jesus christ I'm upset about him #the hands of the emperor #cliopher mdang

[sodrippy]

hm i shouldnt have vocalized how i feel abt this trip, my ma just showed me its rainy at home on video call and im being overcome w upsetness help

#this is so funny i shouldn't have done this #usually saying how i feel helps me move on from it or at least get a little distance but now im just like #ok lets wallow like a fucking idiot over a holiday. you fool. #anyway ummm whatever itll be fun itll be great ill definitely be glad. right. #jesus.

[thesmokinpossum]

Had to stop looking at my archive because it was honestly depressing me, I was just so hopeless and unhappy from 2016 to 2019 and I guess I should be happy I'm in a much better place now but I'm honestly just sad for my early 20's self

#like jesus fucking christ someone should really have help this girl #the fact that i never attempted suicide lowkey impress me tbh because holy shit i was in a *bad* place for litteral years #not trying to wallow in self pity it's just a bit horrifying to look back and realize how truly low i was for so long #thank god i'm not here anymore but i think a part of me will always be sad for the girl i once was tbh #anyway i'm gonna get ready for bed so i can actually gets things done tomorrow

[botseeksbot]

#was it enough to push a Swedish murder machine over the edge or make a neglectful father regret his absences? #OH MAKES ME FEEL ABSOLUTELY SICK . S3 FINALE HEADS RISE UP . JESUS CHRIST #havent properly looked at the art book despite having bought it at release . sniffle this show really does mean the world to me #e.txt #flip through these pages and WALLOW. #YOU ABSOLUTELY GET IT MR OSWALT

[r0nnietherat]

One thing about Mac is that

First he was afraid

He was petrified

Kept thinking he could never live without Dennis by his side

But then he spent so many nights thinking how Dennis did him wrong

And he grew strong 💪💪💪 (mass, so much mass)

And he learned how to get along 😌☝️

And so Dennis is back :0

From North Dakota

He just walked in to find Dennis here with that sad look upon his face

He should have changed that stupid lock, he should have made Dennis leave his key

If he had known for just one second Dennis would be back to bother him 🙄

And if there’s one other thing I know about Mac, it’s that

he will survive!

As long as he knows how to love, I KNOW he’ll stay alive ❗️

He’s got all his life to live 🏳️‍🌈

And he’s got all his love to give 🏋️ and he’ll survive

he will survive ‼️‼️‼️‼️

#okay this is a silly post but #I have actual shit to say in the tags #Mac is a fucking badass #not in the sense that he wants to be #but in the way that counts #no one in the gang is as resilient as Mac fucking McDonald #mans is so strong #Dennis (the love of his fucking life by the way) LEFT him #and what did he do? #did he completely let go of himself and forget who he is? #no actually #he didn’t #instead he BETTERED himself and adapted to his new situation #he got a sex doll and poured his time into cultivating the body he’s always wanted!!!!!! that’s fucking INSANE to think about #he is such a strong person #not ONCE did he ever consider suicide or consider sitting and wallowing in his pain #he utilized that pain and that hurt and he GREW!!!!! HE GREW FROM IT!!!!!! #in conclusion bc I have to stop at some point Jesus #Mac can live without Dennis #he can live without the whole gang #he is so strong and so important and even if he’s (slightly) annoying and slutty and dumb #he is still way better off emotionally than anyone in the gang #he’s SO emotionally intelligent #WAY more emotionally intelligent than Dennis or even Dee and Charlie and Frank #and he will survive 🤷 #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #macdennis #iasip

[sad--tree]

no1 talk 2 me abt my spotify wrapped top songs playlist it's So Bad help

#i dont mean bad like the year eminem was my top artist (oops) but bad like. its >85% depression music 💀💀💀 #just. completely Dominated by my wallowing and ambient playlists. jesus christ. #and that phase only made up like the first third of the year!!! and yet...... #kinda a bummer ngl i listened 2 SO much cool new (to me) metal n rock and its just..... not represented there whatsoever..... #just. wall2wall Death & Dying & Despair #w/ the occasional sprinkle of my ActualFactual For Reals Natural Taste In Music Unaffected By The Horrors (depression) #i mean. the past month alone has been almost exclusively extreme metal and mongolian folk/throat singing #rammstein was my 2nd top artist and theyve got TWO (2) songs wayyyyyy down at the bottom of the playlist lmao #supposedly 103 genres i listened 2 this year!! where are they spotify!!! This Isnt Who I Ammmmmm #(im somewhat exaggerating im not actually Terribly Upset at being 'misrepresented' by my spotify wrapped lol but it IS a bit blegh tbh)

[razzek]

So I'm watching this boogie2988 documentary everyone was raving about and all I can think is "...why the fuck do people care so much?!" He's just some rude guy. I guess a cult of haters grew up around the poor bastard and people like seeing him suffer. I seriously feel like I'm watching My 600lb Life only they didn't pay a doctor to talk down to him and fat shame him. I hope he gets a shit ton of extra money or something from this.

#god don't get me started on my 600lb life #I fucking hate that show so much #spent like a month watching it last year for some reason #and jesus if you just wanna feel like shit about yourself that's the show to watch #stop treating normal human beings who obviously have problems #like you're better than them #cuz newsflash you ain't and you have no idea how very little it takes to land you right in their shoes #aaaanyway... #I don't even know who boogie is XD #some gamer guy? #they're really trying hard to make this like the shit you see on tlc #and it kinda falls flat if you aren't wallowing in an obsession over an internet rando

[miamicommune]

started playing sunless skies, finally got to albion, and want to blow up the entire empire jesus fucking christ

#brabazon is unimaginably awful #like right from the get-go i can't help but know it's Not Going To Improve There no matter what i do #which unfortunately despite fully getting across how awful the empire is does not make me want to do Fucking Anything there #it's that outer worlds issue of Extreme Satirical Cynicism that just makes me sigh and walk away #fortunately it's an optional part of sunless skies bc jesus if i had to deal with a 'nothing will ever fundamentally change'... #...plotline id be out #it does feel kinda disappointing after the reach too like going from Materially Affect The War Effort In Your Direction Of Choice #to 'wallow in misery as nothing fundamentally changes no matter what you do' does not inspire hope for the rest of the game

[handgiven]

who will love a little sparrow who's traveled far and cries for rest?

#▻ 𝐸𝑀𝑀𝐴𝑁𝑈𝐸𝐿 、musings ⁽ ˡᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵖᵒᵘʳˢ ᶦᵗˢᵉˡᶠ ⁾ #▻ 𝐺𝐸𝑁𝐸𝑅𝐴𝐿 、musicbox ⁽ ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᶦⁿᵍ ᵃˡᵒⁿᵍ ⁾ #thinking about My Boy. #jesus christ im just full of emmanuel brainrot but i can barely focus on drafts. i just. want to wallow in the feelings. #Spotify

[stranger-awakening]

literally can’t stop thinking about how someone proposed + got engaged on stage before scrawny last night because dylan managed to see two words on the sign they were holding up in like the back third of the mosh

#it was so far back????? i have No idea how he managed to see it with all the lights and the hundreds of people in front and the Other signs #dude must have the eyes of a hawk jesus christ #i guess it was bright green so maybe that helped #anyways the wallows concert slapped so hard its ridiuclous #i had ... so much fun y'all :')) #jess rants about life

[josiebelladonna]

the lack of anything humorous on april fools reminds me of the episode of the office where they play that role playing game with the murder in savannah and at one point, fed up with jim being dour, michael takes him in the other room and scolds him.

“just shut up, let them have this stupid game to take their minds off of [all of them potentially getting fired]”.

so, to all of you who were like “april fools is cancelled because nothing could match the unbelievable shit happening in the world right now” yesterday, shut up. just… shut up. shut up forever. let us clowns have our fun and shenanigans every now and again because it’s how we relax and not dwell on the bad shit happening all the fucking time.

#jesus #rants #mini rant #april fools #text #i have anorexia i have dealt with depression and anxiety and had a noose around my neck a few times #i also have to deal with hordes and hordes of bullshit here on tumblr and ao3 #you think I’m gonna wallow in my own pain all the time? NO i LAUGH at my pain

[hezekiahwakely]

You ever start googling your mental illness symptoms and run into the communities that have formed around them and get hit with a wave of pure revulsion

#personal #ok ok yes self hatred BUT #its also the anti-recovery focus #the teenagers who take up the majority of the space and have no answers #fucking incels #and people who are so completely unrelatable to me because we're just at different points in life #like i want a forum where people can talk about living with their symptoms #vent posting has its place but its so completely unhelpful when you're trying to search up support and solidarity #i wish mental illness communities werent so fucking mentally ill jesus christ #(to be more specific and less sarcastic - i wish it wasnt so easy to wallow in being mentally ill) #(i wish there were more people who have recovered/are in remission and go back to share actually helpful advice that comes from experience) #(not just Depression 101 DiD yOu KnOw depression isnt just feeling sad sometimes! bs)

[radioactive-cloud]

i'm tipsy and sad and i just want to matter and not to feel like this

#sometimes my brain tries to put blame on others for making me feel like this #but it's my fault and mine only #i'm the only one responsible for thinking and feeling like this and i'm the only one who can make it stop but who doesn't do anything #it's so much more easier to whine and whine and whine and complain and cry when no one sees #and try to make excuses for not doing stuff because oh that's just because of how i feel #and i mourn all the things i lose because of this #wake up you stupid pathetic loser you're the only one who is to blame #and you should stop making fucking excuses and pitying yourself and do something about it #i'm the one who made myself lonely and boring and instead of making it better i just wallow in self-pity and feel miserable #i just want this to stop #but once again i'm too lazy to do something about it #i just want it to stop #will i even just shut the fuck up about all of this and just work on myself instead of rambling stupid shit on the internet #i don't want to write these stupid fucking posts but i guess i feel the need to get it out of me at least somehow #and instead of using a notes app like normal people do i chose this because i can pretend that this somehow matters #well newsflash loser it doesn't so learn to shut up #i wish i could #i can feel a headache brewing #falling asleep will be fun tonight #jesus i rambled too much #not that anyone will read this tho so it's probably fine #or not idk #personal

[cedar-sunshine]

oc questionnaire

thanks for the tag @illarian-rambling! Technically you tagged my main account, but I'll answer it eith my writing one!

My questions are

Are you a sound sleeper?

2. Have you ever owned a pet? If you haven't, what would you get as a pet if you could?

3. What do you think is your problem?

Answering for Tristan and Orion!

Are you a sound sleeper?

T: 'oh, yeah. No. Yeah, not at all. Whenever I fall asleep, the corpses start touching me and half the time I wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's fine, I guess, but I don't like sleep in general. Even without the corpses and blood and nightmares and shit, every second I spend asleep is a second where I could be running. I sleep, but when I do so, I'm aware that I'm wasting time.'

O: 'I guess so? I mean, I wake up in the middle of the night a lot, but I go back to sleep. It's just bad dreams. I'm sure it'll be easier once I find a real town, with an actual bed. God, I can't remember what mattresses feel like. The ground is okay, though!'

Have you ever owned a pet?

T: 'I mean, my family always had a guard dog, but I wasn't allowed to touch it or get close to it. Honestly, I'm not sure why they had it. We lived with the church and nothing would ever really be a threat. I guess paranoia really gets to you. The closest thing I had to a real pet were the songbirds I fed when I was a little kid. Whenever I got an allowance, I'd buy birdseed and watch them eat it. For some reason, I thought I was their only source of food. If I had to choose a hypothetical pet... I'm not sure. I think a cat would be nice.'

O: 'I... nevermind. Yeah, I'm a dog person. I'll get a dog once I find the civilization.'

What do you think is your problem?

T: 'oh, lord. You want a list? I'm fucked in the head, I pretend I'm a boy, I'm on the run from a family that wants nothing from the best for me, I see walking corpses that hang from the trees, there's blood everywhere that doesn't exist, and did i mention that im absolutely fucked in the head? Something is wrong with me. Has been since birth, but... it got worse. I can't tell whether or not any of what I experience or remember is real, I'm scared of everything, and I want to fucking kill myself. I could go on.'

O: 'I don't have- I mean, I guess I could. I don't know. Maybe I'm not as kind to Tristan as I could be? He's clearly scared, and I just wish he wasn't as... bitchy as he is. He seems to think that I'm insane, but I think he's just a little paranoid. Maybe I'm optimistic, but optimism is always good!

Open tag!

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #ocs #my ocs #writing blog #writerscommunity #tag games #🌌oc tag: orion🌌 #🌲oc tag: tristan🌲 #🌟star tag🌟 #They're equally fucked up #You may think 'oh Jesus christ Tristan's real depressed over there' 'oh at least he has ori ori seems well adjusted and a good influence #But NO #you would be WRONG #Ori is. Perhaps. Even worse #He's just deep in denial while Tristan is kinda wallowing in his despair #They get better #Sort of #But yeah ori ain't chillin #'At least he wasn't raised by and traumatized by a cult' you say #At least Tristan didn't wake up to his brother having committed suicide because of him #<- low context lore #V low context #There's more context for both of those #Anyways they're both horribly messed up mentally

[ethanharli]

The fact that I could so easily be turned into a mess kills me-

#wallowing in my embarrassment like always #jesus- #cuddling with tanjiro