#van late night blabs

[vanvietvor]

I miss drawing-

#van late night blabs #CURSE YOU carpal tunnel!! #* angrily shakes fist* #but oh well #my pain may be cronic but so is my trust in God v wvb

[tatakaetime07]

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚For your own good Pt.2 e.m

Part 1

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader!

Summary:Your close friend Eddie had always been protective,but as more and more things start happening around you the more worried he becomes.What will you do when there's consequences for his actions?

Warnings:St season 4 spoilers,cursing,violence,little bit of angst that ends with fluff hehe

Word count-960

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You rolled your eyes as you listened to Jason and his goons not so secretly talk about what they were going to do with you.

“Isn't this perfect!?We found his best friend!Even is she doesn't blab we can always blackmail.”One of Jason's ‘friends’ piped up.

‘Morons.’

Jason walked over to where you were sitting,they had graciously chipped off your hand cuff,but not before grabbing your wrists themselves.

But now you sat against Jason's wall,thinking of ways to book it out.

“Why were you in the middle of the woods so late at night,(L/n)?”Jason asked determinedly,but you said nothing,just stared out some window.

That's when he grabbed your chin forcing you to look at him.You glared as you bit his hand.

“Back off man.”He scoffed as he stood back up from where be was previously squatting.

“Well if aren't gonna say anything we might as well go get some things.”Jason sighed as put his hands on his hips,turning to his friends.You felt for him you really did,but that's why you wanted to prove Eddie innocent so you could find who actually did it.Although Dustin had already told you his suspicions.Even after what..happened in the woods you knew deep down that Eddie was no murderer.

“..Uhm,should we bring her?”You heard some guy whisper but obviously wasn't quiet enough as he pointed to you.

They all turned to you and you could see the cogs turning in Jason's head.

“Yea,yea,whatever.C’mon.”

They had pushed you inside one of there vans as Jason drove to some Grocery Mart,but not just any mart. Oh this was perfect.The mart they stopped at was only a few minutes away from the Wheelers house.And hopefully they knew where Eddie and Dustin had been,cause you needed to have some words with those two.Once most of them got out of the van you snuck right behind one of them and before they knew it,you were able to see an street straight to the Wheelers house.

‘Bingo.’

Since it was so late you felt a tad fearful but held your composure,sprinting down their street.

You had dropped off Dustin there a few times before so you knew that the parents were pretty nice.Hopefully they wouldn't think too much of some rando girl showing up at there door step at 8pm.

However you stopped momentarily when you saw how many cars were parked in the Wheelers driveway.

“What the f*ck?"

And that's when you saw a familiar set of kids jump at two story window.

One of the kids,Lucas Sinclair,saw you and ran to to you with a bike another smaller one on his hip.

“What going on-”You started but Dustin yanked your arm as to follow him quickly onto the bike your given.

“We'll explain it to you later,also what was so urgent you needed to leave??”Dustin asked but you grimaced.

Eddie probably told them some bs about how you ditched them like a coward.

“Another long story.”

You picked up the pace on the bike so you were at the front with Max.Who seemed just as,if not more so distraught then you.

Halfway on your little trip tou recognized just where you were going;Eddie's place.But why?It was then you noticed that all your older counterparts were missing.

Once you arrived at the familiar trailer Dustin came to your side and gave you small bits and pieces of what you had missed.Apparently Eddie,along with Steve,Robin,and Nancy,were all stuck in the Upside Down but were somehow able to communicate through some light,huh.

That's how you ended up in this old trailer that smelled of beer.You were used to it though after coming there so many times.You wandered to Eddie's room as the kids tried to figure how to work whatever it was they were trying to do.

You walked around his room but stopped when you saw a picture of middle school you and Eddie smiling largely while holding onto each other clipped above Eddie's bed.You stared at it for a while,before cracking a little smirk at the memory of smushing into that small photo booth.

"We were so cute then huh?"You jumped as you whipped around,only to be met with those sweet brown eyes of the guy you had liked since forever.Once you knew you weren't in any serious danger you relaxed,but not before remembering that you were supposed to be mad,which you had every right to be.

You went brush past him through his door but once again his hand found it's way in your wrist.But when you looked back at him this time,his eyes held genuine remorse.And that's the only thing that stopped you from slapping and walking out.

"I-I..I know what I did was fucked up.I know I can't make your decisions for you,I just..panicked."You stayed quiet as you continued listening to him,to afraid to look him in the eyes.

"I know that's no excuse,but I just want you to know that I love you so much,and I can't bother to loose you."

It was then you forgave him,but also because you were in your feels.You stood on your tippy-toes as you tried your best to wrap your arms him.

"Ok,ok,I except your apology,but never do that again,yeah?"You scolded as you ruffled his hair.

He let out a laugh as he did the same to you,and it was then you noticed just how dirty he was.

"Actually y'know what we can hug after you take a shower-"

You pulled out of the hug but Eddie was quick to make sure you couldn't escape his hold.

"What?So I get no,'Oh Eddie,I'm so glad your alive.Oh I was wondering you were okay.'?"

"Not after you left me in the forest for that blondie to find me."You jokingly replied.

But Eddie stood still for a moment."If he touched you I swear to god-"

#eddie munson #stranger things #st4 #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #st 4 #x gender neutral reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson st4 #eddie munson angst

[arg-machine]

Comics at machine HQ

It’s been a while since the last Comics post was published. This week, therefore, arg decided to publish another installment featuring some of the comic books and graphic novels he has read since that post.

Of course, a lot happened between these posts: both machine HQ and The Apocalypse Project found second homes over at Mastodon, arg finally crossed the 100 posts mark at Instagram and even published some new music!

One thing remained unchanged, though: he read a lot: not just fiction, but a bunch of graphic novels and comics as well. In this post, he’ll list some of these…

Comics and graphic novels read recently Well, here are the comics/graphic novels arg has read and enjoyed in the last few months. All titles are arranged alphabetically, and related titles – or titles from same/similar genres – are listed in the Also recommended sections. Keep in mind that many – not all, though – of these titles are suitable for mature readers only.

“Far from the auction halls of the elite, The Collector seeks out rare and mysterious artifacts across the world. He is as at home in the salons of Paris as he is in the jungles of Borneo. Set against the backdrop of late 19th-century colonialism, this collection of short stories and swashbuckling adventures is full of surprises and twists, as Toppi is well known for!” Terrific art and exciting stories, books like The Collector truly demonstrate the beauty and power of this medium.

Also recommended: Judegement Day & Other Stories, Navigator, Everyday Hero Machine Boy, MFK, Gurvan - A Dream of Earth, Joyama and Rocketeer - The Great Race.

“BLAB! – the Harvey Award-winning anthology of cutting-edge comics, art, and culture – has returned to its comics roots with a stellar lineup of contributors. Noah Van Sciver depicts the tragic demise of Crime Does Not Pay editor Robert Wood. Sasha Velour portrays the making of film director F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu. Children's book illustrator Giselle Potter examines Peter Rabbit author Beatrix Potter's passion as a naturalist. Illustrated articles include the history of the gorilla and a report on UFOs. All this and much more in Comics and Stories That Will Make You BLAB!” A superb collection!

Also recommended: Gnartoons, Be Your Own Backing Band, Alison, Eight Limbs, Sports is Hell, Art Brut, Public Domain and Unretouchable.

“From creatures of the night to even more terrifying creatures of the day, HAUNTHOLOGY is an anxiety-inducing collection of 28 short stories and vignettes from the mind of Jeremy Haun, the writer and artist behind many acclaimed nightmarish mindscapes. Whether exploring a claustrophobic old house full of nefarious entities or the heavy thoughts one has during the pending end of the world, this very personal project was written and drawn entirely during the COVID lockdowns.” Highly recommended!

Also recommended: Essential Judge Dredd - Dredd Vs. Death, House, Death of the Horror Anthology, Carmilla - The First Vampire, The Keeper and Hell Phone.

“Who are you, really? Are you the things you do, or are you the person inside your mind? In Europe on a business trip, Jonathan Webb can’t sleep. Instead, he finds himself wandering the night in a strange foreign city with his new friend, the mysterious and violent Rainer, as his guide. Rainer shows Jonathan the hidden world of the night, a world without rules or limits. But when the fun turns dangerous, Jonathan may find himself trapped in the dark – the question is, what will he do to get home? Night Fever – the gripping new original graphic novel from best-selling creators Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips – is a pulse-pounding Jekyll-and-Hyde noir thriller about a man facing the darkness inside himself.”

Also recommended: Zaroff's Revenge, Cover, The Red Monkey Double Happiness Book and The Killer: Affairs of The State.

“This heartbreaking manga, by an award-winning cartoonist, examines the history of Okinawa and its military occupation. An essential manga classic presented in English for the first time. Okinawa brings together two collections of intertwined stories by the island's pre-eminent mangaka, Susumu Higa, which reflect on this difficult history and pull together traditional Okinawan spirituality and the senselessness of the War.”

Also recommended: Battle Action, The Witches of World War II and Dead Romans.

machine HQ’s Retro Pick! “First the headaches, then the nightmares of mass murderers who must die – by his hand, the hand that wields the energy of a living sun, the hand of Nexus!

Possessing limitless power, Nexus is the greatest avenger in history, but his power and purpose come from an alien race with their own agenda. Is Nexus a hero or pawn? Deliverer or destroyer? God or devil?” What is for certain is that Nexus, created by Mike Baron and Steve Rude,is a science-fiction superhero masterpiece!

And that, good reader, brings us to the end of this short list! Visit The Apocalypse Project [on Mastodon, on twitter and on tumblr], and stay tuned to machine HQ blog…

Header image features artwork from Vann Nath - Painting the Khmer Rouge and from John Carpenter's Asylum.

The busy boys! Over at Mastodon, arg and Marvin were pleasantly surprised to find the boys from Copiers of Hindustan already there! And from what arg has been able to gather, they’ve been putting the pedal to the metal with their posts!

So, if y’all wish to enlighten yourselves about how plagiarism has reached alarming, pandemic proportions in a certain entertainment industry [wink, wink!] and have an eye-opening experience in general then… go ahead and visit the boys! They’ll be delighted by your presence, or so they tell arg and Melvin.

#comics #reviews

[the-firebird69]

There's some action on the outside of town and it's John remillard and his company of assholes and it's 3500 people and they're trying to break in and it keeps circling back circling around and people don't want them here anymore and they're getting organized right now to repel them and Charles county has 45,000 and they're trying to come into Florida from the north in the northwest to tune about 500 octillion that's a lot it's a big number and they're all the way towards the midpoint of Georgia in the midpoint of Alabama and making progress so try to infiltrate and they could not that's a lot less of them here than they were last night it's starting to turn. All over the world their areas are under attack and they're thinning and they're getting pulled out to the areas as other people try to take them over bja and him are warring and they're drawing them from cities and that whole groups are but it's not working out for them the trumpsters are falling and they're falling rapidly. There are other things happening and they're very huge there's tons of people trying to sense for ships and huge ones too you're finding out that they are the same class and they're located elsewhere and they're big or maybe even not so big like off of fort Myers. And they are hearing news about children of Chris and it's going on and it's really huge this is a huge van that's speaking about silent so he says he wants to publish now but they're saying things like those bats what about these assholes and it's usually clones cuz they're young they're getting in a lot of fights

Thor Freya

I know who they are and where they are they're trying to follow me all the time and they're starting to figure out our hunts a little bit in some areas Mexico is one of them but they get hit a lot down there and by the time they know it's too late they don't know anything anymore there's only a few areas that they keep getting wiped out but Mexico it's one of them

Hera

And yes John remillard bouncing around trying to attack you just now and people are saying no don't do it and he's still blabbing about it and yeah he's got to go down that guy has to take a dive on purpose

[pogueshomecoming]

Cocaine - JJ Maybank

Requested? yes: "can you do a JJ fic where he gets roped into doing cocaine at a Kook party and ends up becoming a little abusive towards the reader? and she recognizes it as the actions of his father."

pairing: jj Maybank x reader

fill out this survey to join my taglist(s), here's my masterlist, and requests are open!

warnings: mention of drug use, mention of abuse, yelling/arguing, shoving

word count: 3.1k

++

It wasn't often that the Pogues wanted to crash a Kook party. Why would they when a keg on the point was enough for them?

Tonight was different. JJ and John B wanted to go have some fun, and maybe cause a little trouble. Initially, you, Pope, and Kie protested. There wasn't any reason that they needed to go looking for a fight. Eventually, their persuasive words won. Only on the promise that there would be absolutely no fighting.

You and Kie decided to stick together. Then you both decided it would be a good idea to keep tabs on John B and JJ from afar. You trusted your boyfriend, and even more so with John B by his side, but it was an extra precaution.

After making sure you were in the same room as them for about two hours, Kie sighs. "I think we're in the clear. We never stay a lot longer than this anyway, so they should be ready to go soon. Let's go see if we can swipe some weed to take home."

John B was chatting up a girl, and JJ seemed to be acing the wingman role, so you agreed and followed Kie outside. You texted Pope to wait ten minutes before finding John B and JJ to tell them we're leaving. Ten minutes was just enough for everything to turn to shit.

Kie worked her magic on some Kooks that hadn't been on the island long. You watched her eat up how gullible they are. Five minutes left on the clock. You knew the group would have to go right after Kie snagged what she wanted because it could cause trouble if they realize what she'd taken.

She sits down between them, right where the bag is sitting. If they're stupid enough to show off their product, they're dumb enough to let it get taken. Plus, the name "dirty pogues" didn't come from nowhere. Kie was the perfect bait, though, because everyone knew her parents were kooks, but these newbies weren't aware that she was not.

Kie pulls her phone from her back pocket, likely shoving the bag in its place. Each of the boys enters their number. Two minutes left. She stands up, immediately turning to face them both. You can see the bag slightly poking out of her pocket. She keeps backing up until she's far enough they won't notice, waving goodbye and blowing them a kiss. As soon as she turns back to you, the two if you quickly make it inside and through the house.

Back at the van, Pope is nowhere to be found, and neither are the other two. The timer has less than a minute left, but Pope is always punctual. Kie stashes the bag in the hiding spot under the backseat and joins you in leaning against the outside.

Your phone rings with a new text message from Pope.

Need help with JJ.

"That can't be good." Kie rolls her eyes, and you groan.

"Ten minutes, that's all it was. Okay, I'm going back in, but you stay here. Have the van ready in case he's pissed someone off." Kie salutes you, and you disappear back into the house.

It's not very far through the front door that you're met with John B and Pope pretty much carrying JJ. They each have one of his arms hung around their shoulders, and they're supporting his weight as he stumbles.

"What the fuck? John B, what happened?"

John B only looks at you with guilt all over his face. "We'll explain in the van, we gotta get out of here first."

Pope's words make you look at him but not for long because JJs head drops to his chest, and you reach forward to lift it back up. His eyes are glossy and red, but a slow smile spreads across his face at the sight of you.

"Hello, gorgeous! I've missed you all night."

"Hi, JJ." You say softly, but the worry is written all over your face.

Finally, you push through the front door. Kie gets out of the driver's seat from starting the car and pulls open the back door. "What the hell happened to him? Is he okay?"

"Depends on how much coke someone can do in ten minutes. John B doesn't think there was enough time for him to get enough that would hurt him." Pope blabs, causing John B to curse at him as they set JJ into the backseat.

"Coke? John B are you fucking kidding me? You did coke? That shit is dangerous! Even more so for him, have you met his dad? I'm going to kill you." Anger is written all over your face as you shove John B with both palms on his chest.

"I didn't do any, I turned my back for a few minutes, and then he was gone! It's not my fault, don't push me." John B sounds like a child, and it only makes you angrier. Angry to the point of tears.

"You said nothing would happen tonight. You said you'd be there with him. You said he'd be okay." You push him again with each sentence. Pope grabs you from behind, crossing your arms against your chest. The tears stream down your face with no end in sight.

"I know what I said. Fuck you, I didn't put him in danger on purpose." John B's voice is low, which is a sign that he's angry at you too.

"Come on, guys. This isn't helping, we need to get back to John B's so we can make a decision." Kie steps in between you two and holds her arms out.

"Fine."

You crawl into the back with JJ. He's slumped with his back to the center console and legs stretched out in front of him. You reach for one of his hands as you sit down next to him, and Kie crawls in with you.

"Are you awake, J? Can you feel me?" You give a gentle squeeze, and his eyes barely move to look at yours. It seems like they're going to roll back into his head.

"Can you tell me how many lines you did?" Kie speaks up this time, leaning in front of his face so he can see her.

JJ shakes his head. "I feel great, guys. There's no need to worry." He slurs. You and John B make eye contact through the rearview mirror, and you look away immediately.

"He's never done coke before. It's unlikely, but even one line could cause an overdose. We just need to keep him awake." You look out the window to see you've made it about halfway to your destination.

There's a knot in the pit of your stomach, and you feel like you're going to be sick every time you look at JJ. His hands are shaking, he's sweating, his breathing is heavy, and you place a hand on his chest to confirm that his heart rate has increased. You're scared for him.

Kie continues to talk to him to keep him awake. He's replying, but he doesn't sound anything like himself. You've pretty much zoned out everything by the time you arrive at John B's.

You're the first one out of the van, meeting John B as he hops out of the driver's seat. "You're going to deal with this. You're going to fix this. It's on you if anything happens to him."

The angry but empty threats spill out of your gritted teeth. You turn your back to the house and walk down to the dock to sit. No one follows. Everyone else helps JJ inside. You can't look at him like that because it scares you. You know that as his girlfriend, you should be right there by his side but you can't.

It's at least a couple of hours before you hear footsteps behind you. When you turn to see who's sat down next to you, you see John B.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." His voice is hoarse like he's been crying or yelling or maybe both. "I was talking to a girl, and she dragged me away to uh... anyway, JJ obviously didn't follow because it would've been fucking weird. I didn't think he'd go down to the basement where they were doing those things he never has before. I thought he was coming to find you. Then Pope appeared and said he couldn't find JJ, and it was too late by then." His forearms rest on his knees while his hands are tangled in each other. John B genuinely feels terrible.

"I shouldn't have blamed you. I was, and still am scared. Addiction runs in families, and it only takes one time to get hooked. But JJ is his own person, and I can't blame you for what he did. I'm sorry." You lean into his side, and he swings an arm around your shoulders.

"It's alright. I get it. We do have to be careful with him and these things, I know that now. Anyway, he's coming down, and he asked to see you. If you don't want to yet, I can tell him you went home." John B turns his head to look at your instead of the water in front of you.

"No I want to. I can't have him thinking I ran out on him. Can he come out here?"

John B nods and gets up to go back to the house. "Thanks, JB."

He gives you a smile, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. It's only a few minutes later before you hear another set approaching you, so you stand up and turn to face JJ.

"What, you didn't want to come to me?" He holds his arms out to the side in a big shrug, but you're caught off guard by his tone. It's not JJs usual sarcastic and playful tone.

You let out a small chuckle, trying to play it off. His eyes darken, and he shakes his head. "I wasn't kidding, Y/N. You ditch me for two hours and then demand I come to you? What the fuck?"

This wasn't your JJ. The soft and sweet JJ that held you when you were scared or just feeling lonely. This was a different side of him, one you'd never seen before, but it felt familiar for a reason you couldn't explain. It was a feeling.

"I was scared. I'm sorry, J. I didn't know how cocaine would affect you." You step back as he takes another step forward.

"You just didn't want me to have any fun. You think I didn't notice you at the party? Conveniently in every room, I was, watching me like a hawk, making sure I didn't do anything you wouldn't approve of." The corners of JJs mouth turn down into a frown as he points a finger at you and sneers.

"I w-was just looking out for you. You always seem to fight with a kook when we go to those parties. I want to prevent it, that's all." You put your hands up like you're surrendering.

"No, what you were doing was suffocating me. Fuck, Y/N. I'm not something you get to control." JJ steps closer to you, but you can't step any further back without falling into the water. "Do you understand me?"

His finger jabs into your chest hard enough that you think you'll have a bruise.

"I wasn't trying to control you, JJ. I was trying to make sure you didn't do anything stupid, but it didn't matter because you did it anyway." You fight back. You're not going to shrink to his angry words.

"That's where we disagree, sweetheart. It wasn't stupid, it was fun. I've never been so high. I was floating, drifting, finally not having to think about all the shit that goes on around here. Finally not thinking about everything I go through anymore. Look at this, Y/N." JJ lifts his shirt to reveal a nasty bruise with a gash right through it. Your jaw drops, it had to be recent because you hadn't seen it yet.

"It finally didn't hurt anymore."

It clicks with you. This is all familiar to you already because JJ's father is just like this. Luke is fine when he's high, but once he comes down, he's angry and mean.

"Okay, so let's get this straight, yeah?" You nod at him and he nods back at you, a little bit of confusion coming to his face. "You did this to not feel anything. To get away from how your dad makes you feel, right?"

JJ nods again, his head titled sideways ever so slightly like a confused puppy.

"So how do you think you're making me feel? You're acting just like him right now, JJ, but I know you're better than this, better than him." Your eyes are pointed as you jab his chest just like he did yours. Your face is straight, with no emotion, but his angry face returns in seconds.

"How dare you, Y/N. I'm not any better than him, and I never will be. I'm destined to turn out like him. Why can't you see that? You expect so much, I can't fucking take it!"

Without warning, he pushes your shoulders, and you lose your footing, falling back first into the water. When you surface, John B is pulling JJ away from the dock. "What the hell, JJ? You don't lay your hands on her, ever!"

As John B drags him away, Pope and Kiara lean over the deck to make sure you're okay. Besides having the wind knocked out of you, you don't have a scratch. You're not bothered by JJs words because you know he didn't mean it, you're just hoping he'll come to his senses.

Kie and Pope each give you a hand to hold on to as they help pull you out of the water. Kie gets you an extra set of clothes out of the ones you two had left here for emergencies. You change on the front porch, listening to John B and JJ fight inside.

She's waiting for you back outside, laying on the hammock with Pope. They hold their arms out, and you climb over Kie to lay in their middle. Kie immediately wraps her arms around you because she knows you love to cuddle. Pope shows his affection by giving your shoulder a squeeze.

"You okay?"

A sigh leaves your lips. "Yeah, I'll be okay. JJ didn't hurt me in any way. I just hope I said enough to make him realize he's wrong. JJ isn't his dad, he's nowhere close." Kie squeezes you tighter. Pope pushes his hand against the tree so the hammock sways. It's the middle of the night, so it's a good thing that John B doesn't have any neighbors to worry about.

Eventually, the two of them fall asleep, but you can't. John B and JJ are still going at it, but not as frequently. It gets quiet for what you'd guess is thirty minutes, and then they start up again. There's no telling what's been broken in there.

Finally, at dawn, you're starting to get sleepy when the squeaky porch door opens. You expect to see John B with an update for you, but instead, it's JJ. His eyes are sad, but so is his whole face. He's exhausted, and you can tell in the way his shoulders are slumped.

JJ doesn't notice you're awake at first, but when he does, he can't look you in your eyes. You crawl back over Kie, very ungracefully, and eventually get yourself untangled and back on your feet.

"Want to talk, down on the dock?" You hold your hand out, and he looks up at you finally. His eyes are red and full of tears, but he gently takes your hand.

"I know you're disappointed." JJ's voice is so quiet that it breaks your heart.

"Oh, baby. I'm not. I-"You reach out for him, but he steps away and cuts you off.

"You should be. That was terrible, I'm terrible. I didn't mean any of those things I said to you. You're not suffocating, you're nowhere close. You care about me and you love me more than I could ever ask for or deserve. I pushed you, Y/N. Why would you even want to look at me? I hate myself for this." JJ completely breaks down in front of you. Somewhere in his speech, his voice broke and it was like a dam holding in all of his cries and sobs. You step forward, and he doesn't fight you as you wrap your arms around his shaking body. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, don't leave me. I'm sorry."

He's gripping your shirt for dear life as if you'll start to disintegrate and slip right through his fingers.

"Hey, listen, I'm okay. It's okay. I'm not hurt. Now you know, right? That shit isn't anything to mess around with." Your fingers comb through his unruly hair. He nods against your chest.

"Never again, because you were right. I'm better than Luke Maybank. I'm not him, and I'm not going to turn into him. I owe it all to you and your unconditional love." JJ peers up at you. His blue eyes are shining, almost the prettiest color blue you've ever seen them.

"Oh come on now, you owe yourself the credit. Besides, I didn't truly know what unconditional love was until I met you and the pogues, so you get credit for that too." You smile at him, and he hesitates, but slowly, he smiles back.

"I'm so happy to have my boy back. Now, I need to clean that ugly cut on your stomach before it gets infected."

"Eh, I don't think it will. I'm pretty sure I poured vodka in it at the party." JJ lifts up his shirt again so you can see it. Instead of looking at it again, you reach up and wipe the stray tears off of his face. His attention is entirely yours now.

"You're insane, JJ Maybank, absolutely insane."

Before he can reply, someone speaks up from behind the two of you. "So... everything okay now?"

John B, Pope, and Kiara are all standing there. The sun is rising, casting golden rays on everyone.

"Yeah, everything's okay." JJ says confidently, his hand squeezing yours.

"Anyone up for a sunrise boat ride?"

++

a/n: honestly my computer glitched while I was editing and I couldn’t tell where I was typing at so there might be some random letters somewhere in there. I looked but I couldn’t find it lol 

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to reblog or send me feedback :)

#jj maybank #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank blurb #jj maybank request #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #outer banks request #outer banks one shot #outer banks blurb #outer banks #obx

[darkhymns-fic]

You Can Watch Over Me

Velvet catches Eizen in the middle of a nightmare. It's familiar to her - and maybe that's the reason why she wants to stay?

Fandom: Tales of Berseria Characters/Pairing: Velvet Crowe/Eizen Rating: G Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: Written for thescarfinator from the @talesofsecretsanta2020​ event! I jumped on the chance to write about Velvet seeing Eizen having a nightmare and was excited to try writing them for the first time. Happy Holidays!

-

It was harder to sleep when on the ship. Not that sleep comes to Velvet all so easily.

It wasn’t surprising at all; the Lord of Calamity should not have pleasant dreams. So she dreamed of Seres, eyes shadowed by butterfly wings, with only the memory of her remaining.  Always upon waking, Velvet’s arm would twitch.

This time she woke up in the middle of the night, leaning against the bundles of ropes that littered the deck of the Van Eltia. It was rare for her to lay down and stay exposed. She always sat up, her arm poised just against her knee. Always on guard and ready to get to her feet. But no one was nearby. 

She felt trapped on this ship sometimes. 

Getting hungry again. She clenched her fist to satiate the feeling. She could probably nibble on a few rations to help, but the lack of taste sometimes only made it worse. 

Velvet stood up easily, having long gotten used to the swaying of the ship by now. The air was quiet, though she could hear the murmur of the few crew members still up and going about their night tasks. She had no idea on the maintenance of ships, and was disinterested in watching. The salt spray from the ocean was strong this evening, but it was better than being cooped up in-between walls. Might as well stay on deck.

Raising her head, the stars were bright and numerous. The moon overhead was full, the sight of it familiar, and she turned away quickly to pace across the wooden floorboards. Maybe she kept an eye out for any hint of a sneaky Magilou, or an ear out for some out-of-the-blue laughter from Rokurou, but none of them here. Just one or two crew members, who swiftly moved out of her way, mumbling something about finishing up tasks below deck.

With less distractions, that’s when she saw Eizen, standing at the very port of the ship.

From behind, Eizen appeared to be overlooking the horizon, arms crossed, the wind lifting up his coat like outstretched wings. She rolled her eyes. She was half-convinced he was standing like this for dramatic effect. Her blade rattling in its holster, she walked up to him. “Is it common for malakhim to pull an all-nighter?” she asked him.

Eizen didn’t answer her. He was motionless, arms still crossed, much more interested in that horizon then in acknowledging Velvet that she existed. 

That just pissed her off.

“Hey! I was talking to-” She marched up to him, just about to grab his shoulder when she finally went in front of him, catching the look on his face.

His eyes were closed. He breathed evenly, slowly.

He was asleep. And he was...standing up, while he was asleep. Velvet raised an eyebrow. So some people slept even more with their guard up than she did, it seemed. 

She would have just called it a night at this point, not admitting that she was disappointed in not getting to talk to him. He'd have just blabbed about those underground tunnels again, she reasoned with herself. Or maybe he’d once again invoke the Reaper’s Curse and have the floorboards beneath their feet rot, letting them both fall into the sea.

She would have done nothing, except she saw how his face was also in pain.

It was subtle, but she heard his fast-paced breathing, and saw the way his fingers gripped his arms. Whatever he was dreaming about, it wasn’t pleasant. A phenomenon that she was much too familiar with.

Best to steer clear, or maybe he’d do something stupid and strike at her while stuck in a nightmare. But Velvet found herself by his side, her arm reaching out to him. “Eizen,” she called out. Slowly, carefully.

Eizen’s head lowered. He grimaced. He was stuck. 

Velvet poised her hand just over his shoulder. It wasn’t coincidence that it was her daemon arm that was closer to him - just in case. “Eizen,” she called out again.

He only continued to struggle. “...Nn…” Eizen shook his head, then lowered it so much that his chin made contact with his chest. “…na…”

She felt the pressure of his malak artes, just enough. It alarmed her a bit. Would he cast a spell in his sleep? She could only imagine one outcome, and a sinking ship was not in her plans.

Velvet dared, finally gripping his shoulder, bandaged fingers holding onto him. “Eizen, wake up!”

Eizen snapped his eyes open, bright blue, the color emphasizing the sudden pallor of his skin. Like a fish out of water, Eizen looked around in confusion, mouth half-parted. It took him a few seconds to finally latch his gaze onto Velvet.

“What… Edna, she’s…” he started, still half-stuck in his dream. But him speaking that name seemed to make him finally find his focus. He uncrossed his arms, one hand reaching to press against his forehead. “Agh…Velvet, why are you here?”

“Well, you don’t sound particularly grateful,” she noted. Her hand lingered on his shoulder, finally letting it slip off. She had just been hungry, that was all.

Eizen looked confused at what she meant. Then the sea breeze picked up, making the white sails above them flutter, hitting the mast. He looked around, his hair shifting along with that breeze. “I just… didn’t expect you. Why are you still up? It’s late.”

“What I do in my spare time at night isn’t of any concern to you,” she retorted.

Eizen stared. “It does if you were just watching over me as I sleep.”

Velvet mentally stumbled at that, taking up a moment to devise her answer. “I was not watching you!” Of all the stupid things this man said! “You were just standing here, how would I have known that you sleep the same way a horse does?"

“Oh, I was…” Eizen looked around him again, realizing, and that was when he seemed to be the one embarrassed now. “It’s… a malak thing. Easy to regain energy this way.”

Velvet highly doubted. “I’ve never seen Laphicet do that.”

“Well, it’s an earth malak thing, to be specific.” Eizen coughed into his fist, still avoiding her eyes. “It’s good to feel steady, so standing is just a preferred option!"

“Really.” Velvet wasn’t going to keep questioning this, and honestly, on any regular occurrence, she would have just left him to do whatever he wanted. But the paleness of his skin hadn’t left, and his hands still shook, even if the motion was so minute. Probably no one else would have even noticed.

But Velvet’s eyes were sharp.

Eizen finally turned to her, seeing her gaze, then lowered his hand. “Thanks for shaking me awake.”

“That only took you ten minutes to finally say so, but you’re welcome.” There was a wooden bench just next to them, placed against the side of the ship, and Velvet took it, moving aside her long hair to lay against the surface. “So, what did you dream?”

She knew Eizen wouldn’t tell her right away, of course. “Nothing,” he said instead, his voice low. It didn’t hold any of the strength of the earth, the unyielding magnitude of it. It came out weak and exhausted. “It was nothing.”

Velvet stared at his back, at the metal plates affixed to his coat, catching the moonlight. She stared at the rips, running symmetrically just beneath his shoulders. “Are you just going to run from it?”

That had hit a nerve, somewhere deep in this man’s pride. Eizen continued looking up at the sky before he finally went to sit down with her, though it looked more like he tumbled backwards, his legs barely holding him up anymore.

Velvet blinked. Something about the way he acted was…familiar. Too much so. She wasn’t sure how much she liked that.

“I get these most nights,” he admitted, still avoiding her gaze. Eizen sighed, his chest moving inward as he did so. “It gets awkward if I sleep in the bunkers with everyone. So I usually just… stay out here.”

Guess that’s not surprising, she couldn’t help but think. Eizen had a pride she found foolish, one that would only worsen when he was around the likes of Rokurou. But there were other times when he was humbled, when he was suddenly much subdued then he first seemed. In a way, she found that aspect of him far more compelling.

She was thinking on that too much. She brought her knee up, laying her bandaged arm around it. Loose, white strips floated along with the breeze.

“Then what was it about? Did you dream yourself losing out on a winning bid for some old rusty vase?” It was barely an exaggeration. She had seen the malak actually tear up at the thought of missing out on some relic rumored to lie within a deserted island that the ship had passed by. The currents had been rough, making it impossible to land. Eizen had sulked for the rest of the trip. ("It was a priceless Kharlan painting from the Enlightenment era! You just wouldn't understand…")

Even as Velvet acted frustrated then, she still wouldn’t admit to herself that maybe the other’s weird sentiment with such things was a little endearing. Just a little.

She expected Eizen to either be annoyed at her words, or just plain confused. But what she got was exactly nothing. Eizen sat still, hands now gripping the other as he laid his arms on his knees. She wasn’t even sure if he heard her.

“I could handle that kind of dream,” Eizen finally spoke. “This was something else.”

“Part of the Reaper’s Curse?” she asked, only half-serious. The man could stub his toe and he’d blame it on the curse over his own foolishness.

“Maybe,” he simply said. Another pause, his jacket spread out on the wooden bench like an ocean full of pitch. “They only seemed to start ever since I left her.”

Her. The name he only half-said in sleep. “Edna,” Velvet said, but did so carefully.

But Eizen wasn’t like her, furious at hearing others spill out the name of his sibling. In fact, she saw him smile, even as it twisted along with his pale skin. “Edna should be safe and sound back home. That’s why I left her, so that she could be safe. No Reaper’s Curse to put her in danger. I stand by my decision.”

He pulled on his gloves, fidgeted more in those few minutes then she had ever seen him since he first joined their group. “But, most nights… I dream up something horrible happening to her. The sky swallowing her up, or a daemon fighting her.” He pressed his boot into the floor, as if trying to dig a hole right into it. If the wooden boards had been soil, he might as well have. “I dreamt her being shot, but instead of another malak, it was really her-“

Velvet reached out again, with that same bandaged arm. But she gripped his wrist gently. “Enough,” she warned. “You’ll get lost in it, if you keep going.”

Eizen shook, then stilled. He placed one fist into the palm of his hand, squeezing it tight. “Thought you said I was running from it.”

“You were, make no mistake,” Velvet quickly answered. “But if you face it the wrong way, you’ll only get trapped in it. You’ll be devoured.” She kept her hand where it was, feeling the tension pulling at him so tightly. “Funny, usually you’re the one giving out all the tired, cliched advice.”

The laughter that came from Eizen built something inside her chest that she dared not name. She was just sleep-deprived, like he was right now. Just two people in the middle of the night, unable to swallow their fears. “Maybe you’re right. You’re not usually this patient with people, except perhaps Laphicet.”

The night breeze blew her hair away from her neck. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. She had said the name of his sibling, it’s only fair he could say the name of hers. (But he’s not Laphi). She put down those other intruding thoughts for now.

“You just can’t let it distract you from what is real and important.” She finally let his wrist go, seeing how his eyes followed along her motion. Did he expect her to do anything else? “But, if you’ve had these dreams for that long, you probably already know that.”

Eizen took another breath, but his voice was stronger, firmer. No longer stuck. “Guess that’s true. But, it’s nice hearing someone else say it.”

“Even if that someone is a daemon?” she asked, maybe too genuine in her question.

“There’s a reason why you are what you are, and it’s made you stronger for it.” Eizen finally looked at her, his cheeks now full of color. For a so-called Reaper, he seemed to have more life in him now. “Because you get it too.”

The acknowledgement might have hit too deep. She turned away, eyes rapt onto the stars. “I do, and you’ll keep quiet about that.”

“Heh, fair enough.”

The easy acceptance Eizen took of the situation also surprised her. Her chest tightened. Again, she was just hungry. They’ve been stuck on this ship for weeks, and while ocean deamons sometimes appeared, it wasn’t enough to completely sate her arm.

“Have you ever fallen overboard?” she asked suddenly.

The look of pure confusion on Eizen’s face amused her greatly. “What? Uh… perhaps a few times actually. I don’t remember how though. Usually it’s at night when…” He paused in realization.

“You know, it'd be good if you get someone to watch over you as you sleep, or you’ll keep breaking the Van Eltia more than sailing it.” How he’d been able to deal with it, she had no clue. But the man was as stubborn as the very earth he hailed from.

“Right…” Eizen coughed, his embarrassment once again so plain on his face. “Now Aifread’s complaints back then… make a lot more sense.”

“Men like you and him need more sense ,” she spit out.

“If that’s the case… are you saying you’ll offer to watch over me?”

The smile she saw on his face was stupid and ridiculous on him. Velvet turned away more, hugging her knee close to her chest, not caring whether any of the belts or leather was pricking into her skin. “I did plenty enough. It’s ruining what little sleep I can get tonight.”

“Fine, then I’ll do the same for you.” Eizen sat back with her, just near enough for their shoulders to touch. The man was surprisingly bold. “As my way of repaying you.”

“Huh.” Velvet scoffed, clenching her bandaged fist before looking over at Eizen, his face nearly impassive now. “You’re serious.”

“It only makes sense, doesn’t it?” He shrugged. “Besides, I’m not sure I can go back to sleep tonight.”

“So, the Reaper wants to watch over me at my most vulnerable?” She eyed him. “Will I even make it through the night?”

“I think, being the Lord of Calamity and all, your misfortunes offset my own.” He shrugged. “We can put it to the test.”

It just all sounded like an incredibly far-reaching excuse to her, but Velvet somehow couldn’t find it in her to say no.

“Just no sudden movements,” she told him as she laid back against the rim of the ship. The swaying of the ocean waves felt comforting, more so in evenings. The sky was open, gave her more to look at than in all the years she had been locked away. “This arm bites, you know.”

Eizen smirked, but he nodded. “Got it then.”

Velvet couldn’t believe she was allowing this, but she really did feel so fatigued. With no daemons to nourish her, she could only feel how heavy her body was. Velvet gazed up at the sky, tracing the constellations that she had missed, then shut her eyes. Eizen was still near, enough that she could feel his body heat.

I shouldn’t fall for this, she thought before sleep took hold. But maybe it was nice to let down her guard, at least for a while.

-

The dream is the same. Seres again, in the white void, eyes completely covered. And over her neck, the black marks of someone’s fingers that had strangled her.

Velvet felt her arm burn, clutched it to her chest. “I can’t forget,” she said.

“You won’t ever forget,” Seres said to her, in a voice that was so painful in its familiarity. It pierced her as sharply as when she would plunge her blade into the quivering body of a beast. “And you can’t regret.”

“I don’t… I shouldn’t!” Velvet gritted her teeth. Her arm became malformed, an array of black that ran with so much red, pulsing like magma beneath the earth. “You offered yourself to me! I needed to live! I don’t care who stands in my way-!”

She reached out with her arm, to grab Seres again, to devour her again. But in her grip, it was a young boy instead. She had already squeezed tight before he vanished, lost forever, again, again, again-

Velvet woke up, gasping for air. But a hand kept her steady, strong and firm.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Eizen was speaking, even though it sounded so far off. “A nightmare, that’s it.”

Velvet heard it, denied it with all her heart.

“No… it’s more than that.” She gritted her teeth, shook in his hold. “I watched him die! Again…” The guilt clawed its way into her throat, and all she could do was let it fester. “Always, again. You don’t understand.”

Eizen had no words, and for once, she regretted something just now. She didn’t mean for it to slip past. But she shook, and her arm still hurt. She curled in on herself, and felt those same arms hold her close.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Eizen was saying. His words were barely above a whisper, yet they felt rough against her hair. “And I hope I never will.”

I hope that too, she thought, shutting her eyes tight. Always on guard, but she wanted to let herself go, for one short moment. The steadiness of Eizen was comforting. Maybe, even after everything she’d done, she could be allowed to have this.

#talessecretsanta2020 #tales of berseria #eivel #eizen #velvet crowe #fanfiction

[dear-mrs-otome]

Can you spoil more about Theo's route? After reading Vincent's route I can't wait to see his route in English server. I wish I knew Japanese...

I can.

I’ll give you a summary of Theo’s route below the cut, so for those zooming past BE WARNED. SPOILERS FOLLOW.

SPOILERS INCOMING!

STILL DOWN FOR HAVING THE WHOLE ROUTE SPOILED IN DETAIL???

SERIOUSLY - A GIANT WALL OF TEXT EXISTS BEHIND THIS CUT, ALL SPOILERS…

Theo’s route begins as I’ve mentioned before, with Theo convincing MC that her dream is just a dream and vampires aren’t real. She gets roped by Sebastian into taking food to Theo’s room the next day and catches a glimpse through his open door of a horrific scar on Theo’s back. When she tries to leave he catches her and tells her that since she’s seen his ‘secret’ (the scar nobody know about, not even Vincent) he’s going to make her work as his assistant for the month she’ll be staying so that he can keep tabs on her and make sure she isn’t going to blab.

The next chunk of his route is spent with her reluctantly tagging along as his helper as he goes about his business as an art dealer, drumming up interest for Vincent’s paintings and even sussing out a forgery (in a scene carefully crafted to make you go, ‘Wow I had no idea art dealers could be so badass’ - I appreciate the effort at least, Cybird) MC isn’t entirely excited about this arrangement or seeing the appeal of Theo’s work until he takes her to a studio of independent artists and talks a bit more about his mission to help them, and then he has her choose a painting from their works for him to sell, all on her own.

The thrill of doing so and seeing the artist’s situation definitely sparks her interest in his job and at the end of the day, he tells her to keep the painting and hang it in her room to remind her of this.

Things continue in this way, with her spending every day at Theo’s side and coming to understand a bit more of who he is and what he does, when one night he comes home late bloodied and beat up after an altercation with the Royal Academy’s art goons. As she presses him into letting her patch him up, he talks more about his dream for the future of the art world and how badly he wants to make it come true, and MC offers to help him with his vision however she can, clearly touching him.

They land a solo showing for Vincent and spend a lot of time preparing for that, picking out works and setting up the gallery, growing closer. At one point, they witness a robbery and hear a gunshot and Theo has a full-on anxiety attack, passing out, and when he comes to he finally admits some to MC how difficult of a time he’s had his whole life trying not to be envious of his brother having what he wanted - talent.

Eventually, Shakespeare comes around and manages to spill the beans to MC while Theo has stepped out that they actually are indeed vampires. She races home to test Shakespeare’s claims, finding that the rouge she thought was red wine is blood after all - and when Theo comes to find her she confronts him about his lie. He maintains that she didn’t need to know, and they argue, with MC eventually running out in near tears at her perceived lack of trust in the man she’s come to love.

Things are tense for a few days as he avoids her, but she keeps working towards their mutual goal of Vincent’s show. Then one morning, a few days before she’s set to go home, she finds the entire gallery on fire much to her horror. She runs in hoping to save at least something of their dream, and finds and rescues one of the paintings of a wheatfield that had seemed dear to Theo - but the building is engulfed in flames and she can’t get out. Then she sees Theo who has rushed into the fire, and he carries her out to safety and outside he crushes her in a hug and admits how terrified of losing her he was.

As he patches up her burns, they clear the air about their argument, and Theo drops a bombshell - he admits that he lied not just about the vampire thing (to keep her from being afraid) but also about the scar. He used it as a convenient excuse to keep her close and protect her while she was stuck there for a month, because he admits he feels responsible for her presence. He confesses that it was HIM, and not Napoleon, that saw her come through the door to the mansion first - and that he tried to get to her before it closed, so he could send her back home right away, but failed and has blamed himself for this ever since.

Some things about the gallery showing, the number of paintings, and other inconsistencies start to add up for MC though, and she eventually confronts Theo about them, leading to him confessing finally in a very emotional scene how he witnessed his brother’s death at the hands of Paul Gauguin and that he actually came back to life to seek revenge. The gallery showing, the places he disappears to on the weekends alone, all of it has been him trying to lure out the man he suspects is still alive (since this isn’t that long after their own ‘deaths’). They exchange a tearful kiss when MC confesses that she likes him and hopes he can move beyond his vengeance, and Theo admits he wants to as well.

MC and Theo begin dating, and Theo seems determined to try and forget his vendetta, but he can’t quite seem to - and when Shakespeare stirs the pot and tells Theo that Gauguin absolutely is alive and that he can’t have his revenge if he has any regrets, Theo decides to break things off with MC. He comes to her room and tells her she should go home when the door opens in the next couple of days, bluffing about how brief and shallow their relationship was, and she realizes she can’t make him want to be with her - but she asks him for one night together regardless and he sorrowfully agrees. They sleep together, and he tells her he hopes she’ll be happy, and after she’s asleep he leaves - but admits to her sleeping self that he does love her and can’t bring himself to involve her in his terrible plan.

The morning of Vincent’s show (which is now being held in a public park since the gallery was destroyed) MC and Vincent discover Theo is missing, and after seeing a lone painting of Gauguin’s set up, Vincent seems to understand everything. He and MC race to the cliffs where they find Theo murderously confronting a vampiric Gauguin, who gleefully admits to killing Vincent out of envy for his talent - and then accuses Theo of harboring the same horrible emotions. A distraught Theo finally admits to his brother that sometimes he hated him, and how lost he was when Vincent died. Vincent and MC try to talk Theo out of his revenge but it seems futile…and then Gauguin shoots Theo and he collapses, bleeding horrifically.

Vincent begs MC to give Theo some of her blood and she does, cutting her hand and feeding him enough for him to revive in a tearful scene as she berates him for breaking his promises to her. He confronts Gauguin again but this time admits that he doesn’t want to let hate rule his life anymore, and sends the man off. But he’s still grievously wounded, and as Theo tries to tell Vincent and MC how he really feels he collapses again, unconscious.

Shakespeare appears and as thanks for the ‘excellent show’ he helps Vincent carry Theo back to a doctor. As he’s being attended, SG and MC have a long conversation about what she wants to do when the door opens and her feelings for Theo, and after he wakes up Theo asks to see her and Vincent. He and Vincent clear the air after Theo’s heated admissions of envy, and then he sends his brother away to have a conversation with MC where he apologizes formally for breaking his word and lying to her, and begs her forgiveness.

We see Vincent’s show going off as planned with great success, the public setting accomplishing the van Gogh brother’s hopes of letting anyone see art, and Theo even drags himself there with a cane to see the results. Arthur reminds him to tell MC how he feels, before she leaves, and the next morning Theo comes to her room and takes her out to a place special to him (the wheatfields that remind him of where he and Vincent spent time as children) and admits how important she is to him and how he had always lived his life for someone else, never valuing himself until she came along, and that he knows he’s not the easiest person to love but he needs her. 

In his romantic ending, MC tells him she plans to stay, and Theo proclaims he can’t let her give up everything important in her life for him just like that. He insists that he will go to the future with her, for her sake and his own to see this brave new art world she lives in, and after an emotional parting between the brothers we see him adapting to the modern world no problem. He works as an art dealer still, and there is a cute smutty scene where MC asks him if he has any regrets about the choice he made and he assures her he doesn’t - he loves her and would always choose her.

In his dramatic ending, she tells him she’ll stay and he is surprised, but accepts. She continues her work as his partner, taking on more responsibility as they run the business together, and even running afoul of the Academy. Theo vows to protect her no matter what hardships they face as they work towards their dream, and compares her to one of the ‘life-altering masterpieces’ he’s searched for his whole life.  

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp theo #spoiler #spoilers #ikemen vampire spoilers #ikevamp spoilers #route summary #SERIOUSLY GUYS THIS IS THE ENTIRE ROUTE #DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU WANT THE TWISTS TO STAY IN PLACE #van Bros being van Dumbasses is a theme

[jojoreadwhat]

can i stay at home? i don’t want to go / honey & smoke - m.h. x OFC story

Lucy's POV.

I lied on my new mattress, staring at the freshly hung tapestry, draped with lights on the other side of the room. Waiting patiently for one of the girls to pull me along to this party that I was dreading.

I decided to get ahead of myself before I was fashionably late, rummaging through my closet, pulling out at cute little outfit. Simply a loose pullover sweater, some necklaces that danced around my neck. Hugging jeans that gave a little bit of curvature, and my docs. There was no way I was leaving without edge. Lacing them up before planting myself in front of my mirror.

Did I have to go? I just want to stay home.

I thought to myself, moving onto my hair as I separated it into a half do. Loose baby hairs hanging around my face, almost making it heart shaped.

A small town girl who was stuck in daydreams but scared for them to come true. So used to being the home body she knew for so long.

Lucy you're going. End of story. My mind commanded back, it was right.

I had to advantage of the whole idea. Take on adventures I never endured before, fulfill that crave of a new scream. Being stuck in my worry mind wasn't going to get me anywhere. It was time to introduce myself.

I smoothed the fabric down on the torso of my sweater, "Lucy! Are you ready?!" Liz had called from down the hall, startling me from my self-induced daze.

I did a double check at myself in the gold trimmed mirror before scanning my room for my hobo bag, and my phone.

"Be right there!" I replied, taking my over-abused copy of To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf from my night stand and stuffing it into the jam packed bag. Shutting off my light, and leaving the twinkle lights to dance in the dark.

What? Who knows if this party is a flop? At least I'm prepared to venture elsewhere...

----------------------------------------

The party was much more crowded than I had anticipated. But it was completely different than the few I could count on my hand that I had been to back home.

The flat was filled with booze smelling breath, interlaced with the odor of a musty skunk from the Mary Jane making its rounds. Hypnotic indie sounds of Pixies 'Hey' played faintly against the banter of the crowd.

They pulled me right into the action, with a little help from Liz and Abby introducing me to everyone. I swear if furniture could talk, I think they would've introduced me to them too. Talking for me like I was four, which I didn't have much of problem with because since I got here. My anxiety was preparing for take off at NASA.

They were all nice, very welcoming and so interested in what I was here for. Almost being like this new 'thing' for everyone.

Eventually though I was able to make friends with the sofa in the middle of the living room. Sipping rum and coke, observing like I always do. And nodding to whatever had played next.

But that didn't last long before two sucking faces were going at it next to me.

I found myself pondering away from the sofa. Steadying myself against a wall, observing at a higher angle of 5'3.

Laughs and loud talk still surfacing, I felt a little bit creepy as I sipped at my drink and scanned. I found myself eventually glued to the glowing screen of my phone. Jotting down things about the party for my journal. Switching apps between Tumblr, Facebook & Instagram. Reading the outpouring support from my friends and family that had gotten wind of my new journey.

In the middle of an emotional post from my brother, the tone of the room had changed. My head shot up to the unison roar that had taken over. Four new figures joining the tight space, all dressed in black from head to toe.

As much as I wanted to go back to the post, my eyes were still stuck in the direction of the new faces. Each one of them shading something intriguingly different from one another.

One was a tall, slightly lanky with an upper broad build. His hair covered under a cap, flipped back to front. A white tee, complimenting his black jeans and was the only one with a colored jacket. Almost like honey mustard. Flashing a very friendly grin as he was pulled into a hug by one of the party goers.

Two were slightly bearded men, one muscular than the other. One of them seemed to be very shy, barely making contact with anyone who had made an effort. The other a complete opposite or at least he showed off about. Wrapping his arm around a friend near, incredibly loud with his banter and talk.

All three being easy to paint pictures of as they expressed themselves immediately after walking through that front door.

But the fourth one... Not so much.

He was something else, his hair almost like dark chocolate, loosely tied up into one of those 'trendy' man buns with a black turtleneck that wrapped tightly like a non-threatening noose that was complimented by a jean jacket. Over a thin but slendered out build. Toned in all the right places. My eyes scanning down to his tight black pants with a hole torn at the knee and some vans. Topping it all off with these tiny rimmed grandpa glasses that made me gush.

He definitely caught your eye from the rest of the posse he had come in with. And everyone noticed it too, practically throwing themselves at him.All pretty, upper crest gals. He didn't seem to mind... He seemed used to it.

I couldn't pry my eyes away. Tracing him like he was etched braille on a sign, but still unable to figure out who he was.

I watched as his lavished lips curled from the attention he was receiving.

Oh my god. I thought to myself.

My eyes had widened, being caught in crossfire when his dark ones collided with mine. Timidly, I trailed down to my feet. Trying to play cool that, maybe just maybe he was looking next to me at the red head.

Nope, he caught me. I answered myself as I met his gaze again. I bit my lip, engulfing myself into my drink as I mentally tried washing out the embarrassment.

When I didn't feel his glare against me anymore, I scanned the room once more. Thinking of a way to escape and breath. Finally my eyes spotting the french doors that led to the back yard.

------------------------------------

I made my way through the crowd, swaying along to the song everyone was dancing to. I opened the door, to the lightly lit backyard that surround an in ground pool. The lights in the pool reflecting off the blue water. I sighed to myself, not a person in sight. Just me, the moon and silence.

I walked around a bit, placing my bag down on a chair. The autumn breezing catching the hem of my sweater. Before I settled, sitting above the water on the diving board. My boots had barely touched the water as it danced under the moon. Turning the page where I left off, retreating to my back up plan.

"For now she need not think of anybody. She could be herself, by herself. And that was what now she often felt the need of - to think; well not even to think. To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity, to being oneself, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others... and this self having shed its attachments was free for the strangest adventures...."

A summit of the most true, sincere way into my homebody heart. Solitude.

Engulfed in the lines that I had read over and over many times before, feeling new everytime I needed reminding.

But the solitude and silence I was searching for out here had been misplaced. I didn't realize I wasn't alone anymore..

"Not much for parties?" The unfamiliar voice laced with a thick accent greeted, startling me from the trance I was in.

I turned to follow the voice, and I couldn't believe it.

It was him.

The pool lights reflecting off him, leaving him in a glow.

Before I could answer, I had lost my balance on board and fell into pool. The arms that had verbally pushed me in were outreached. Pulling me onto the ledge. Gasping and trying to regain my breath that was ambushed by the rush of cold hitting my skin.

He helped me to my feet, walking me to one of the chairs that had aligned the pool. He walked away for a second, scanning the yard until he had found what he was looking for. Coming back with two towels and handling me one as he placed the other over my shoulders.

"You're a bit clumsy too." He smirked, taking a seat on the chair next to me.

"You could say that." I replied, not running off my tongue so melodically like it did his.

He was staring a bit, watching as I ran one of the towels across my face.

"You're the American girl... Cindy?" He hesitantly began, I smirked at what I thought was so... mysterious. Was so scared of guessing my name wrong.

"It's Lucy." I corrected, meeting his chestnut eyes.  So much more vibrant than I had seen them before.

He smiled, relieved that I didn't hit him or something. "I like that better... I'm Matty." He replied, placing his hand out to shake. His skin so soft to touch.

We were sitting in silence for a moment, I was trying to regain my thoughts after the plunge I took. He was looking at me, then back at the pool. Squinting his eyes at it before rising from his seat. My eyes followed as he bent down to grab something from the water. My book.

"Virginia Woolf... You're into classics?" He asked, walking back to where he once rose from.

I nodded, "They're my favorite..." And it was the truth. I enjoyed old proper grammar.

He smiled, handing it over to me with an apologetic look on his face. I smiled at him, reassuring that I wasn't mad. "It's seen it's better days."

"So, what brings you to London?" He began, I chuckled looking back at pool. "Didn't the whole party tell you my life story?" I remarked. Since the girls just blabbed everything but my social number.

He nodded, "But I want to hear it from you.."

His voice hitting me like wild winds during a hurricane. I gulped, finding myself intimidated and unsure on how to make myself appealing.

"I write." I replied, different visions of those two words falling from my mouth, floating in my head. And I ended up there.

But to my dismay, he didn't seem mind.

Books became a big deal, but it didn't stop there. Questions pouring from his mouth, I found myself watching it as each word fell. His lips moving around them in such perfect sync.

I was watching those words shrivel to shreds when Liz had come into view. Signaling that we were heading out soon. I retorted that I'd be there in a second, placing my eyes back onto Matty's.

He was staring a bit intently now, kind of making me nervous. "Is everything alright?" I asked, was there something in my teeth?

He nodded, "Your eyes. They're like crystals."

I felt my cheeks overflowing with shades of red, but before I could thank him. Liz was calling me again.

"I've gotta go." I insisted, rising from the metal chair. "It was really nice talking to you."

Flinging my bag over my shoulder, and turning on my heel.

"I'll see you around... Blue." He remarked after me, awaiting impatiently on our next encounter.

+

#the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy imagines #slutforbritdick #wattpadarchives

[xietyflix]

Warm Tats| 02

⇢ Pairing: Jimin x Reader

⇢Genre: Werewolf Au, tattooist Jimin

⇢word count: 2158?

“I never felt like this before.” “Is that a good or a bad thing?” “Good because it makes me want to fuck you senseless.” “Oh.”

⇢ warnings: mentions of blood and future smut.

⇢ should I make a playlist for this?

Warm Tats CH: 00 01 02

******************************************

Everyday. No matter what time it is, you both will always find a way to talk. Everyday text ‘good morning! Have an amazing day at work ;)’ to ‘goodnight! will conquer the world tmr!’ Everyday Jimin seems to fall deep for you.

The cute laughing while you both on the way to work, the silly jokes on your lunch break, the late-night ‘I can’t sleep’ text. What really made Jimin fall hard was the ‘promise not to drunk text each other.’ He was going to tell you he can’t get drunk because his body would just burn it off. But he promised you.

He listened to your opinions on things, he listened to you when you stressed about your job and he listened to your boy problems. He listened because he cared for your well being than his own.

Jimin made sure you didn’t skip a meal, made sure you were stress free no matter how late it was he stayed on the phone. Jimin to You was a person who you wish you could tell how you feel.

Even though you want to hear about his day he would only say boring, but you know there is more to it. Your going to try to have him open up to you no matter if your going to drive to him.

Tonight, tomorrow and to infinity you will be there for Jimin just like he is being there for You.

You walk out your bathroom drying your hair with a dirty t shirt. You checked the time

8:30 Jimin just got home you walked over to your computer on your bed and opened it. You and Jimin been friends for 4 months and you only called during the night.

To save you from letting him see you barefaced and to see you blushing when he compliments you. But you want to see his face and to hear about his day for a change. To hear about him.

You pulled up his contact and waited a few minutes before hitting FaceTime. But it suddenly got declined and a message from him popped up, which made you raise a brow.

wolf boy | 8:40 pm

give me a second Yoongi and Jungkook are fighting.

You | 8:41 pm

take your time.

You got up and began putting products in your hair, once you finished you brushed your teeth and began cleaning your room from this morning. You hear your laptop ringing you look up to see

Wolf boy requesting to FaceTime...

You walked over to your computer hitting accept.

Connecting...

“Hey!” You spoke once you see Jimin's face.

“Hello there.” Jimin says closing his door.

“How was work?” Jimin added.

“It was the same as always.” You said fiddling with your shirt.

“Stressful? Tell me about it.” Jimin said setting you down on his desk which gave you the full glimpse of his room.

“Not so fast Jimin.” You said taking him to the kitchen with you.

“What?” Jimin says taking off his jacket.

“We’re not gonna talk about me tonight, I think that’s enough of that for tonight. How was your day?” You said setting him on the counter.

“Are you in the kitchen?”

“Don’t change the subject mister.” You said walking to the refrigerator from behind you Jimin let’s out a frustrated sigh, which makes you to turn and look back at him.

“Jimin what’s wrong?” You grab your water bottle walking back to the computer.

“It’s nothing really.” He said coming back into view wearing his pajamas.

“Well that frustrating sigh says otherwise, tell me what I want for you is nothing but happiness.” You said opening your water. Jimin gave in,

“I’m stuck on this project that I have to do, the client is expecting a huge piece. And I don’t know if I can do it.” Jimin said sitting at his desk staring back at you.

“Do you know what the person's interests are?” You spoke leaning close to the computer.

“They like movies, stars and roses but that really doesn’t help.” Jimin says making and idea pop into your mind.

“Jimin how tired are you?” You spoke grabbing your laptop heading back to your room.

“Umm not really that tired.” Jimin says running his hand through his hair.

“Give me a percent.” You said causing him to laugh.

“40 percent tired.” He said and you rest him on your bed and you began scattering around for Blankets, pillows and snacks.

“What are you running around for?” Jimin says watching closely.

“Jimin can you be a dear and send your address.” You send packing everything into a bag.

“_____ your not leaving your house you just came off of work and it’s 11:30.” Jimin said sternly.

“Jimin I’m helping you, you’ve been a great help for me. Let me return the favor.” You said putting on your vans.

“You can return the favor tomorrow.” Jimin spoke as you grabbed your keys and everything you packed.

“And risk you losing a customer? Nope.” You said grabbing your computer and heading towards the garage door.

“Please don’t leave your house.” Jimin pleads but you unlock your car which cause Jimin to groan.

“Your the most stubborn human I ever met you know that.” Jimin says fixing himself in his chair.

“Why thank you.” You laughed getting into the car.

You set your laptop down and opened iMessage. You and Jimin shared locations because Jimin wanted to make sure your safe at all time, you knowing that he is probably being possessive.

“Hey look at that your only 20 minutes away.” You said putting it in the GPS.

“_____-“

“Jimin be ready in 20 and bring your sketchbook. Love you! Bye!” You ended the call not waiting for a response from the Alpha, knowing that you cutting him off in his sentence and demanding him around pushed his buttons.

You headed your way towards Jimin's house.

Jimin stared at his computer in disbelief. Your going out of your way to help him with something he can probably do on his own.

Jimin got up and began gathering his things for your arrival, he got his sketchbook along with his color pencils. He grabbed his hoodie and put it on before slipping on some vans.

He looked in the mirror to see him nightwear matched what you were wearing. Black silk pajamas, your damped curly hair all over the place.

Jimin smiled at the sight of you smiling at the beginning of the FaceTime call. He looked at himself and noticed the bags under his eyes were getting serious. He put his hood up before grabbing his things and heading out the door.

Just on time Jimin sees your car pulled up on the curb, your scent calming him down.

Jimin walked towards the car and he hears you unlock it as he approaches. He reaches the car and gets in which makes your scent stronger than before. He looks back and sees that the whole back seat turned into a whole bed.

Jimin looks at you to see you smiling. “What?” He says confused.

“You look comfy for the ride.” You said taking in his attire. Black hoodie with black sweats and Vans.

“Yeah had to dress comfy just in case You were going to murder me.” Jimin joked which caused you to laugh. Your laugh was something Jimin found sweet, sweet like a lullaby.

You handed him a drink which smelt like chocolate. “Hot chocolate?” He questioned and you nodded driving towards a forest.

“Yeah I need you to relax you seem tense.” You spoke and Jimin took a sip. He tasted a little and instantly he tasted sweet honey.

“Was this yours?” Jimin says and he heard your heart skip a beat.

“Y-Yeah but I remembered hot chocolate makes me sleepy.”You felt his stare on you.

“Why? Does it taste weird?” You ask nervously.

Jimin sensed your nerves. “No, just that it’s sweeter.”

You hummed in reply, it didn’t take long for you to reach your favorite spot. A cliff with a thousand stars.

“Wow.” Jimin said leaning close to the dashboard.

“I know I used to come here sometimes to relax.” You spoke as you rolled back the window on the roof.

“Use to?” Jimin says confused.

“Yeah I use to, now I have someone amazing to listen to me blabber about my work and someone who doesn’t judge me.” You said before climbing the back seat.

“Come on Jimin.” You said and he hands you his things before crawling in the back.

Your scent is causing something in Jimin’s brain. Something he can’t explain, he lets out a growl which cause you to look up at him worried.

“Jimin you Okay?” You said trying to find his his eyes but his face his surrounded by darkness cause of his hoodie.

“Y-Your scent is strong.” He spoke shaking your head.

“Oh I’m sorr-“ before you can open a window he stops you.

“No, it’s just a lot to handle.” He spoke before letting your wrist go.

“Is my scent bad?” You asked at Jimin looks up from the blanket.

“No, No! I actually find your scent really calming.” Jimin admits making you tilt your head in confusion.

Which cause Jimin to panic. “I mean your scent smells link honey and lavender which is really calming.” He spoke but roll his eyes at his blabbing mouth.

“Thank you Jimin least I’m a calming scent to you.” You said letting soothing music play off the radio.

“What are we doing here _____.” Jimin says looking around. You place the cover over your legs and patted your legs.

“We are here to get you inspired Jimin, now lay.” You spoke tugging at Jimin’s sleeve.

Jimin chuckled at your cuteness as he lays on your lap, he looked up.

Stars

Nothing but a dark sky with stars dancing around.

“What’s the best thing about this place?” Jimin says looking at you and noticing your hair is more curly than before.

“The silence, cause the city can be noisy and you can’t have time to stop and think.” You spoke admiring the stars noticing Jimin’s hard stare.

Jimin picks up his sketchbook and began sketching out a design. You glimpse of Jimin to see why he’s so quiet. He’s sketching the stars you notice the pulp fiction reference.

“Inspiration at its finest?” You chuckled and he looked up at you.

“Inspiration is at its peak.” Jimin says before continuing but pausing.

“You should add a rose by the pulp fiction.” You said pointing to the blank space on the page.

“Really?” Jimin said looking up at you and you nodded your head.

You pushed Jimin’s hoodie back to get a good look at him and noticing the bags under his eyes.

“Jimin what happened to sleep?” You spoke softly.

“I have been having trouble sleeping.” Jimin says putting his sketchbook aside.

“Is it because of the full moon?” You said and Jimin sat up.

“Yeah, this one is different.” Jimin spoke and you frowned.

“Different bad?” You said and Jimin nods you looked at the time and notice it was 2am.

You began fixing a place for you both to sleep.

“What are you up to now?” Jimin said watching you closely.

“We Jimin are gonna sleep.” You spoke patting a spot for him.

“What about work?” Jimin said crawling towards the spot next to you.

“Day off what about you?” You spoke getting under the covers.

“Working at 5.” Jimin says pulling off his hoodie you look away and he chuckled.

“Are you Okay?” Jimin says getting under the blankets. “Fantastic.” You mutter before saying good night.

4:30 am

You somehow woke up due to the drop of temper in your car, which you found impossible. So impossible.

You flip over to face Jimin who is sound asleep. Warmth.

Warmth was radiating off of him which made you shiver more.

You sigh before poking Jimin on his nose. “Jimin..”

“Jiminnnn.” You whisper poking his cheek.

Jimin hummed in response opening one eye.

“What’s wrong?” He said sitting up a little.

“I know you're tired but I’m cold and well your warm.” You spoke and he smiled down at you.

He opened his arms with a small smile, “Come here.”

You cuddled close to him sighing at his warmth.

“Better?” Jimin spoke wrapping his arms around you protectively.

“Much better.” You mumbled before you doze off you tapped him.

“Jimin is my scent really calming?” You mumbled into his chest.

“_____ so calming I’m finally getting sleep.” Jimin said snuggling into you more.

“Good.”

********************************

hello! Hola!

Good to see your liking this series so far! want to be apart of the taglist?

Taglist request💌

Enjoy your day/night!

@bluemooncnblue @hoodmeup @parkjiminsweets

#bts fanfic #bts preferences #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts senarios #bts fic #bts smut #park jimin #jimin preferences #jimin senarios #jimin reaction #jimin imagine #jimin smut #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #jimin x y/n

[tigerwalk3]

Secret Santa Fics

We did a Christmas game! We asked Santa for fanfic written by our favs and he didn’t disappoint with his delivery. Looks like we were all put on the nice list because the fics we wished for couldn’t have been better. And since it’s the season for giving, we’re sharing with all of you!

Happy Holidays!

I wrote this fic for @thematsaidwelcome79

XOXOXOXOX __________________________________

“Bullshit.”

“I swear.” Rick made a cross sign over his heart, though he couldn’t hide the giddy smile on his face. Daryl was less amused.

“You’re telling me you didn’t rig this shit? Ain’t no way outta all these people, you just randomly pulled your wife’s name out of that hat.”

Rick quirked an eyebrow at his friend. He really hadn’t messed with the rules—Carol wouldn’t have let him anyway—but he was more struck by Daryl’s choice of words in his accusation. “My wife, huh?”

“Ain’t she?”

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel of the van as they drove back to Alexandria, pondering that. Of course she was his wife. Though, they hadn’t actually discussed that. What he and Michonne had wasn’t going anywhere, and it felt a little trite to call her his girlfriend. She was the mother of his children, his soulmate, if that didn’t make her his wife, no ceremony would. Still though, he wondered if she had thought about the fact that they hadn’t made that official yet. She’d never said anything. But would she—

“Hey!”

“Yeah,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course she is. But I didn’t rig the secret Santa thang. Sometimes you just get lucky.”

“Bullshit.”

“Who’d you get?”

“Eugene.”

…

Rick got home late that night, after Michonne and the kids were already asleep. He and Daryl had made what had become a weekly run into the city. They’d taken the whole group the first time, but now that they knew what areas to avoid, and cleared the rest, the two of them could manage just fine. Besides, this whole Secret Santa thing wasn’t gonna be possible if Michonne was with him whenever they were outside the walls. He’d lied and said he was missing his time with Daryl and she’d packed a sandwich for the both of them and waved them off.

He felt a little like the real Santa tonight, though, as he unpacked the backpack he had filled on the trip. The more essential stuff already went straight to the pantry, this was all for them. Michonne had found stockings in the attic of the house the year prior, and once they had found out about R.J., she’d made a fifth one to add to the mantel. It was red and black flannel, made from an emergency blanket he’d swiped from the trunk of a car, but she’d embroidered his name on the front and even found some white trim to decorate the top.

He plopped down in front of the fireplace and sorted his haul. A barbie for Judith, a football for Carl (that wasn’t going to fit in the stocking, so he set it aside to be wrapped somehow.) and a whole set of vintage matchbox cars for R.J.. Michonne might not approve of him playing with those yet, but he couldn’t leave them sitting on the shelf at that empty, burned out antique shop. Another thing he hadn’t been able to leave still sat in his pocket.

He stuck what he could in the kid’s stockings and hid the ball, then rifled through his pack for the little gift bag he’d found. It said Happy Birthday and had a picture of a cat in a party hat on it, but it would do. This was only day one of the gift exchange and besides, better he not give himself away by going out of his way to find the perfect wrapping. No one else would put in that effort for this little Christmas game.

He filled the cat bag with three silk headbands and some cowrie shells he’d traded Cyndi for, and crept back outside to set it on the front steps as per the rules. As soon as he opened the door, he saw Abraham approaching and he tensed. This couldn’t be good news if he was coming to knock on their door in the middle of the night. He was about to call out to him, when he noticed a package in his hand wrapped in shiny red paper. Since he had picked Michonne, and the kids weren’t involved in this game, he deduced that it had to be a gift for him.

“Rick,” he said, startled.

“Abe. What’s going on?”

Abe shoved the package behind his back and shrugged. This was exactly Rick’s objection to this when Carol suggested it. Grown men giving each other Christmas presents? Secret ones at that? It was a little awkward.

“Nothing, boss,” Abe said. “Just out for a walk. The night air is good for the old respiratory system, ya know. The lungs…”

“Right.”

“How about you? You delivering something?”

Rick looked down at the bag in his hands and glanced up the road toward Daryl’s house. He wasn’t even supposed to tell Daryl who he’d picked. He certainly didn’t want to get caught blabbing to Abraham. “Yeah, uh, was just headed out to drop it off.” He trotted down the steps. He would circle around, throw Abraham off the scent. He shook his head and headed left. This entire thing was so ridiculous.

...

Ok, maybe it wasn’t completely ridiculous. Rick beamed over his cup of coffee as Michonne tied the little shells he’d left for her into her locs. She had been so excited when she saw the little bag on the steps, that his cold, Grinchy heart had started to warm immediately. When she pulled out the headbands and gushed over the print and material, he felt like Scrooge on Christmas morning. Transformed.

He’d also found the little red package Abraham had left him. He’d opened the paper to find six cigars of different brands. He supposed even when you didn’t pick your wife in the draw, this idea still had its merits.

The next day went just as well. Michonne’s eyes practically bugged out of her head when she’d opened the original copy of the Articles of Confederation. He might have been showing off with that one, but if the end of the world wasn’t good for something…

Abe had left him a bottle of whisky, giving him the final push into all out Christmas cheer territory. Maybe he could get himself one of those ugly sweaters for Christmas morning. The kids would hate that. Michonne would love it. He was putting it on his list for the next run.

…

The next run happened to be the next day which was good timing, because after the reaction he got to the first two gifts, he wasn’t satisfied with the chocolate bars and tea he had planned on leaving her next. It wouldn’t really matter once she saw the fourth and final gift (he hoped) but still, he was on a roll, why stop now?

“So what’d you get Eugene?” Rick asked, hiding his laugh as he and Daryl cleared the aisles of an abandoned CVS.

“Hit the jackpot yesterday,” he said, plunging his knife into a lone walkers skull and shaking off the blade. “Found a pyrotechnics place outside of Hyattsville. Left him a bag full a morning glories. Should keep him occupied.”

“And what’d you get?”

Daryl reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean, red bandana, wiping his brow. “Ain’t even got any blood on it yet.”

Rick laughed. “It’s a Christmas miracle.” He shoved aside the last walker he’d put down and stepped over it to get to the aisle he was looking for. “Here we go,” he said, grinning. Bubble bath and lotion. Michonne had already used all of the products that came with the house when they moved in, and she was always looking out for stuff for the kids when she was on runs with him. She’d never get this stuff for herself.

He used his forearm to swipe the contents of the entire shelf into his backpack, then strode a few more aisles down and picked out a real gift bag. They hadn’t put out the Christmas stuff yet when the businesses shuttered their doors, so a plain red one would have to do. He even found a bow.

…

“Look at all this stuff!” Michonne dug through the overflowing bag of toiletries, holding up the pretty bottles to R.J. as he lay on his back on the blanket on the living room floor. The baby cooed as she showed him one by one.

Rick took a sip from his new coffee mug, printed with the words “World’s Greatest Boss” and smiled. Carol deserved a medal for this idea.

…

The final day of the Secret Santa was actually Christmas Day (as far as they could tell and had decided as a group). When he checked the front step, he found a pair of socks and some jerky with a note that said: “have a Merry Christmas, you’ve earned it -Abe.” Rick smiled and put his arm around Michonne who was a little dejected.

“Maybe your person is gonna deliver it later today,” he said, trying to keep a straight face. He’d already planned on giving her his gift later, after the kids went to bed. “The final day it’s not a secret anymore, so maybe they want to hand deliver it.”

“Maybe,” she said, holding the robe Carl had gotten her closed against the cold morning air. Her frown quickly turned into a smile when they walked back into the house and watched the kids play with their new things.

By the time everyone was put to bed, they were exhausted. He sat down on the couch and held his arms open for her to join him. She leaned her head against his chest and sighed happily. “It was a nice Christmas,” she said.

“It sure was.”

“I wonder what happened to my Secret Santa.”

“I don’t think he forgot you.”

“He? You know who it was?”

“Of course I do. You think I’m gonna let Carol organize someone else getting my wife gifts without me knowing who it is?”

He felt her stiffen, then turn slowly over her shoulder to look at him. “Your wife?” she asked, her eyes wide in a good way, like when she’d seen those headbands, but even better.

“Yeah. My wife.” He kissed her forehead and laced his fingers through hers. “At least that’s what I want you to be. If that’s something you want…”

She nodded, her eyes getting teary. “Yeah. I do.”

“Wait. Don’t say I do yet.” He shifted slightly so he could reach the little box in his pocket, pulling it out and setting it in her hand. “Michonne, nothing I could say could make you mean any more to me than you already do. The truth is, even this seems like an understatement in this day and age, but traditions were made for a reason, and while we’re rebuilding the world, maybe this is one we want to keep going. So…” He opened the box to show her the platinum and emerald ring he’d found in that same antique shop where he’d picked up R.J.’s cars. “...if you wouldn’t mind doing me the honor of wearing my ring, I’d like for the whole world to know what I already do. You’re everything to me, not the least of which is my wife.” He slid the ring on her finger and she stared at it while she wiped her eyes with her other hand.

“It’s beautiful, Rick. Now can I say I do?”

He reached up to press a finger in the corner of his own eye to keep his tears from falling. “Yeah.”

“I do, Santa.”

Rick laughed. “You knew?”

“Of course I did! I knew the second I opened up all that bubble bath that was so clearly wrapped by a man, and you didn’t even bat an eye!”

“Yeah I suppose I could have put a little more effort into faking it.”

“Well as your wife, I think you did a great job.”

“And as your husband, I’m gonna need you to take care of this for me next year.”

Michonne giggled, then laid her head on his chest. “Merry Christmas, Rick.”

“Merry Christmas, Michonne.”

#richonne #richonne fanfiction

[thepatricktreestump]

I Love Her Anyway: Chapter 15

A/N: ok so i’ve been rereading some of these chapters and there’s a shit ton of typos, grammar mistakes, random letters and spaces throughout them- i think you should know that while i type my bearded dragon likes to jump on my keyboard and i don’t always catch the little mistakes he adds so if you catch those, blame him because i spend hours rereading and editing only for him to trample on my keyboard like the little shit he is sooo this has been a psa thanks for coming to my ted talk

the tag list that i apologize to for having experienced the pain of ch14: @cupcakesweetness @un-amoosed-padalecki @mtb04308 @dragonqueendany @kitykatnumber @svintsandghosts @greatheromuffinpalace @echoloki @geekybeauty8793 @jigglypuff1999 @timisnotmontydlc @galaxy-moon @lugialagia @pageoftheclouds @moveondontholdon @myaestheticsareshit @brendonuriehimself @yagirlcammmm @vessyvk @loverontheleft @rupphirerydenphan @uriellybrendon @converse-or-vans @amazingtyjo @pettyiestpersonyouknow

to the people who have asked to be tagged this past week: *politely whispering* um, sorry but no

               Days at the bakery are slow and boring. Being at school feels like being imprisoned. Staying at home is even worse, hours of lying in bed crying, texting and calling and emailing only to find no response. It went on for weeks. Days upon days of depression, people asking if you were okay, your parents even thinking you were sick. You couldn’t even muster up a smile. Your brother even brought you home some ice cream one day, as much of a prick as he was. Everyone could sense something was wrong, but it was you who sensed it the most. It was like your life was falling apart without him there to be the glue to hold it all together. You needed him. So much.

               The pain only got worse, more vomiting and headaches, and also being hungry. Like, really fucking hungry. You craved the blueberry muffins at the bakery and begged Ashley to bake you batches to take home, mowing them down one after another. You were kind of worried about developing an eating disorder, but you reassured yourself it was better than turning towards a worse form of self-harm, especially after the break up. You strayed away from kids at school, became particularly quiet, and spent your lunches in the library rather than the cafeteria. You wanted to be alone.

               You were throwing up in the employee bathroom for the third time this week when Ashley knocked on the door. “Hey honey?” she called out. “Maybe just take off your shift, okay?”

               “No, I’m fine,” you reassure, flushing the toilet and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before opening up the door. “I’m alright.”

               “You sure it’s just being sick? This has been going on for about a month or two now,” she frowns. There’s a pause. “Are you late?”

               “What?” you raise an eyebrow. “No, I came five minutes early today.”

               “No,” she shakes her head. “Like, late. Period late.”

               “Well…” you feel sick at the realization. “It’s been three months but I’m sure it’s just irregular or something.”

               “Is there a chance?” she whispers. “You know? That you might be… pregnant?”

               “What?” your eyes widen. “No, no, of course not.” You laugh nervously, but fuck, there so definitely is. Especially after all the shit you and Brendon were pulling, or I guess, not pulling, last month. He reassured you that you’d be fine, and you didn’t think much of it, but shit. You didn’t use condoms and you were usually so fucked up you didn’t even really pay attention. Fuck. There was no way. Was there? You felt even more sick.

               “Oh, well maybe see a doctor?” she suggests. “Anyways, I want you to go home. Rest up. I’ll see you back here next week.”

               “Okay,” you complied.

               However, you didn’t just go home. Instead you drove to the nearest gas station, heart racing in your chest, fiddling thumbs and wobbly knees perusing the aisles until you landed on a pregnancy test in a tiny slender box. You had to find out somehow, right? You bit down on your lower lip as you approached the cashier, setting it on the counter silently. You hand over the cash and then he hands you the bag, you nodding in thanks before heading back to your car. When you get home, you race to your room and lock the door, heading to your bathroom and tearing the box open. You read the directions with hazy vision and do as told, then set it on the sink and wait. It’s the longest three minutes of your life. You’re almost hitting the mark when you hear your mom walk through the door and you scramble up out of your seat when she calls your name.

               “Y/n! Help me carry these groceries!” she shouts.

               You race down the stairs to help her, easily getting side tracked once she asks you to wash the dishes and then help cook dinner. You forget about the ordeal completely. You’re at dinner and your dad is rambling on about how some inspector is coming in to check the building tomorrow and your mom is talking about some new television show airing tomorrow night and your brother is blabbing about some football player who got injured and can’t play for the team anymore. Instead your mind is focused on the food, getting seconds and thirds, making your mom chuckle.

               “Really enjoying the food, huh?” your dad laughs.

               “Just hungry,” you shrug, piling more into your mouth.

               After dinner, you’re sitting on the sofa when you hear your mom call your name again. You don’t give it a second thought, switching the television off and going to go find her. That is, until you see her at the doorway of your room with your father, holding your pregnancy test in her hand. You turn pale and you think you just might pass out. This was not at all how you thought it would go. “What the fuck is this?” she holds it up for you to see. “Are you pregnant? Are you kidding me right now, y/n?”

               “I- I, I, I don’t…” you stammer, dumbstruck.

               “Talk. Now,” your father demands. “Is this real? Are you pregnant? Have you been having sex with boys? Is that where you’ve been those past few months, staying the nights at friend’s houses? You’re really out being a whore? Disgusting.”

               “You need to realize that your actions have consequences,” your mom scolds. “I can’t believe you. We trusted you.”

               “You need to tell me who this young man is right now,” your dad insists. “This instant.”

               “He’s just my boyfriend,” you quickly lie, going along with what they had implied. “I was staying at his house when I told you I watched the movie and hung out with friends and went shopping and stuff. I met him at school, we’re not together anymore, I just-”

               “Jesus Christ,” your parents shake their heads.

               “Y/n, I can’t believe you,” your mom stares at you, devastated. “Really? Pregnant?”

               “I didn’t-” you stop trying to save yourself at this point. It’s no use.

               The rest of the night is full of yelling, screaming, explaining using fibs and lies, your brother eavesdropping from the other room. You break your phone on purpose before they can get it, smashing it on the bathroom tile before drowning it in the sink. If they ever saw your texts between you and Brendon, you’d be toast, and things would only get a thousand times worse. They get even angrier once they find out what you’ve done to your phone, but you don’t care. If you can save him at least, then it will be worth it. But you have to talk to him somehow.

               Your parents strictly instruct you that you’re grounded. You’re only allowed to leave for school, work, then straight home and in your room. You don’t know how long it will last. They schedule appointments for getting you tested for sexual diseases, which you’re embarrassed about, as well as a gynecologist and a pregnancy doctor. It seems a little early to you, but your parents are relentless and aren’t in any mood to argue. You didn’t really care to be pregnant. It only made the reminder of him leaving you even more engrained in your mind, in your body, in your soul. It only made you miss him more. Plus, you felt miserable, shitty, crampy, sweaty, hot, hungry, and bloated. Night after night you would lay awake, missing him, worrying about the future, and holding your hand over your stomach, wondering how the hell this all happened in the first place anyways.

               It’s in the middle of school, during your lunch in the library, when you’re on the computer and the notification pops up. It’s the last thing you would ever expect. Brendon. You have to blink to make sure you’re seeing it right. Your heart almost falls out of your chest when you click on the email he’s sent you and you begin to read. “Dear y/n, I’m sorry for the way things have turned out. I didn’t mean to have to leave you. In fact, it was never my choice. I would do anything to try and save you, but I know if I would make a move, it would only hurt you, and I would never want that. I am sorry I haven’t contacted you sooner, my workers have kept a close eye on me ever since our split, and I’m not even alone in the office anymore seeing as I’ve been hired a new secretary. She’s not nearly as beautiful as you are, and her humor is bland and boring. I miss you, so very much. Anyways, enough of the babble. Your father had spoken to me about the new discovery, and I can only imagine I’m the culprit of the situation. You’re pregnant, is what he tells me. And if I know you well enough, you haven’t been off fucking other guys so quickly after the split, because neither have I. It has to be from us, and I apologize about it. We need to see each other and we need to work this out. From what your father tells me is that you said it was a boyfriend at school, which is quick thinking and I like it, but we need to be real. We need to do this together. I plan on having a meeting with my workers tonight and updating them. Maybe they will change their minds. Nobody knows I’m sending this email to you, so please don’t respond. Instead look for me at the bakery during your shift this week. I’ll be there. I’m not giving up on us. I’m not giving up on you. With all the love I possess, Brendon.”

                You don’t know what to think or say. Instead you just press your hand to your stomach and think that everything’s going to be alright. He’s still there for you, he’s still thinking of you, and he still loves you. That’s all you could ever ask for. The rest of the day you constantly find yourself checking the clock, waiting until you can get out and head to the bakery. You wonder what he’s going to do. Your mom’s already instructed Ashley to keep your working and to make sure you’re there on time and to text her when you leave. They’ve been running a tight ship ever since the night of chaos, and you’ve barely even had time to yourself unless you’re at school. Which by the way, you faked a name to your parents to pose as your fake boyfriend, which accidentally actually ended up being a boy at your school, and you kind of got him a restraining order by accident, but that was the least of your problems. You don’t even understand how it could’ve happened, seeing as he probably didn’t even know you and couldn’t attest to you guys ever having sex in the first place, but somehow, it happened. It was word of the school for a good two days and even some of your friends came up to you bugging you about it. Nobody knew you were pregnant though. Nobody but your parents and brother, and now Brendon of course. Everyone else just thought you were in deep shit, did something crazy, pissed your parents off, and now you were watched like a hawk. They weren’t wrong. That all did happen.

               As soon as he walks into the bakery you can barely breathe. All you want is to run up to him and wrap him in your arms, hold him tight, kiss him on the lips, tell him how much you’ve missed him. But you can’t. Instead you stand there, limbs shaking, feet glued to the ground, staring at him like an idiot behind the counter. “Hey, I’d like a slice of apple pie. Boxed and for the road,” he simply orders. “And one brownie.”

               “C-coming right up,” you stammer, calculating his order and fetching a box and a bag to put his goodies in. He hands you the cash and that’s when you notice a piece of paper folded up on top of the dollar bills, and so you take that and stick it in your pocket. He nods with approval, giving a smile.

               “Thanks,” he says, taking his things and leaving.

               It’s just that simple. Just that quick. And still not enough.

               The piece of paper tucked inside your pocket feels as if it’s burning all throughout your shift. You’re itching you go open it up and read what’s inside. You even almost go to use the restroom just so you can read it, but realize that if you do that, it would only be eating you up even more. So you wait. You take on customers and fill out orders and count the money and then get off shift, driving home, thinking of him and only him. The way he walked in, still in his work clothes, dark eyes, wide smile, smooth gait, confident stature. You missed him. So much.

               As soon as you go home to use the restroom, you lock the door and unfold the piece of paper, eyes darting around to make sense of the message. “I love you y/n. I’ve talked to the workers and I think they understand now. At least a little better than they once did. Although they don’t agree with what we’ve done, they agree with what we plan to do, and that’s getting through this together. Tomorrow when you get to school, I want you to ask to go to the nurse’s office at exactly eleven. That’s my lunch break and that’s when I’ll be there to pick you up. You’re coming with me. Don’t go to the nurse, simply leave your classroom with the hallway pass and head straight to the back door, the one by the band room. I’ll be there, I’ll be waiting. If something comes up and this isn’t possible, then expect to see me at the bakery your next shift. We need to talk and figure things out. Hang in there. And take care of the baby for me. Give them a kiss and all of my love. Missing you like hell, Brendon.” Your heart hurts just reading it. You take the note and carefully stick it behind the mirror hanging on your bathroom wall, then wash your hands and head down to dinner. As hard as the thought is to believe, you can’t wait to go to school tomorrow. You think you just might explode.

#i love her anyway #miss jackson #OK YOU WANNA HEAR A FUNNY STORY #so i was like spotify play guns and ships #so it plays hamilton #but then transition went into 21 chump street #and it was like jason went to sell marijuana on school property #and i did a doubletake #and i was like I DONT REMEMBER THIS HAPPENING TO ALEXANDER HAMILTON #and i checked my phone and of fucking course it was a different musical playing #i lost my shit lmaoooo #zimeah would probably appreciate this story #if you're reading this zimeah i love you #brendon urie fanfiction #brendon urie x reader fanfiction #brendon urie imagines #brendon urie x reader imagines #brendon urie fanfic #brendon urie x reader #brendon urie x reader fanfic #JUSTIN NOT JASON #goddammit

[chaosthoughts-becoming]

30th

July 8-12, 2020

Room 571 - Received a customized birthday fondant cake, a hoodie and a long-sleeve blouse from L , a non-bake cake given by my neighbors, a mini celebration from my family back home and got a surprise bonus beach trip the day after tomorrow. 

Everyone is feeling unwell of what’s happening and the unseen revolving around the world currently. I too, I’ve been restless and apprehensive of what lies the moment I open my eyes for the coming days. Tirelessly questioning and wondering where’d my life go the past years. Have I done what most people on my age have done? Have I accomplish something I may forever remember? Was I feeling enough and settled?  Have I been better?

I also do not know. I tried positive affirmations to myself, been trying to but I’m sometimes blown of how my mind pushes beyond it’s limit. Which led to recurring anxiety, guilt and unknown fears. 

Few weeks ago, I ended something. I’m not really sure if I was doing the right thing or not but all I knew is I do not want to be born on that dark place again. I don’t want to drown on my own tears and negative thoughts anymore. I don’t want to settle where I was before. Afraid of the unknown, I immediately said what I have thought of every night. I just want a semi-colon and not a period. 

But I’m also in no control of the opposite line and it was never parallel. So it happened. Things approached a period moment. Maybe I got tired fighting or maybe I learned how matters of the heart require too tight guards and protection. I let be.

---------------------

Friday I received my bonus post-birthday beach trip but an argument led to a heavy heart the other night so I did not go and instead convinced myself of a of something I’ll be 75% fulfilled about. I did my craft, accomplished them all for the day. Took photos and posted them and that was it, that sums the day of a small win.

Packed my things for the bonus beach trip for the weekend.

The day was done. 

-------------------

Odd I did not hear my alarm so I woke up late and came late. I cannot be pissed for it because I know a thing about merely being pissed so I spoke good to myself.

 I was there inside the commuter van without holding my phone along the way and just staring at people and vehicle that passed by. Staring at buildings, staring at the sky. 

Koh Larn, Pattaya

And I was there, rode a boat, staring at the waves, imagining and wondering it’s purpose. Were the waves tired too from bouncing back and forth of the boat’s walls? Do they scream help once they bumped their edges from one wave to another? Do they stay the same knowing that they’re just a mere water without a definite shape? I don’t know. The thing I cannot get answers but still questioned the same. I kept these thoughts for so long. But asking them wildly on my head.

I was there, with strangers I could not understand what they’re talking about and just blending in because this is the point where I felt life was easier when you camouflage to something you don’t really belong. And I was there observing, taking videos, attentive to details and directions. I was there going with the flow.

I was there and never ever been fully ecstatic to the sea view mini room I just booked. It was all complete, just what I needed. Navigate myself on the TV remote, watched a subbed movie I barely understand. Unpack my backpack like staying there for a week or so. Imagined how my schedule would be and jot them on my head. I felt genuine and pure happiness I wasn’t able to feel for myself for a long time. My ribcage was open and that something had escaped and flown to the wind. I felt me, I felt my inner self longing of me.

I was there with friends laughing out loud, and talking about things and people. Okay, not what it was supposed to be but it happened. I will choose to remember the first time my toes touched the heat of the sand and how my body was thirsty of the saltwater and was quenched fully. I dog swim, I dog float. Whatever the hell you call it is, but I let too many saltwater in my body. I let them in in my nose, my ears, my eyes, my mouth, my toenails, my fingernails, my scalp, my skin. I just let the saltwater in and I felt healed. I felt healed while I can hear blabbing sound from everyone. I felt healed no one ever truly seen what I just felt inside. I felt healed. Screamed healed. 

I was there and I chose to be left alone because that was what I wanted. To give myself a sunset view with the sound of the waves splashing the shore. It was what I owe myself. My eyes widened when I see the reflection of the sun sparkling on the raging of waves. I wonder if they were happy when they see themselves turned to orange. I wonder what the role of the clouds are. Do they bid goodbye to the last ray of the sun? Do they notice they contribute something to a beautiful landscape and seascape? Again, i felt healed, I felt my soul rushing to the same directions of waves. I feel deep breathing. How I wish the sun would take a long slow motion before it hits the ground. 

But it sets and I’m reminded that the day is done. I’m reminded that I did something my soul will forever be happy about. 

I was there, without the internet open. I was there flipping and absorbing 4 chapters til alcohol shut my eyes off. I was there and never been felt safe on a foreign bed not mine. I was there and I had the best sleep of my 30 years. I was there and I forgot the heavy load I was carrying.  I was there finally able to understand what 30 years had brought me all this time.

I was there finally accepted myself that I carry scars, but beautiful ones. And that these scars belong to me and will always be with me. I was there and I finally got a deeper understanding of who I am becoming.

I was there and I carry with me the sand, the saltwater, the clouds, the rays of the sun with pride. It was what I needed all along. I was happy. Genuinely. 

Happy 30th self. 

[whenispeakicrossmyfingers]

Happy Monday! I had a terribly anxious night of sleep last night & idk why, so I’m giving myself a little extra love this morning, and that includes telling everyone about the book(s) I finished reading!

So I said my new years resolution was to read more, and so far I’m doing a pretty decent job of it. I’ve read three books this year and, while I would have loved to post about each one individually, the first two were e-books. Thus, we are here. 

Welcome to the first (and possibly only) installment of BOOKS I READ IN 2018! Maybe if I give it a title I’ll feel some responsibility to uphold it. I’ll put it under a cut because I tend to blab. Also, if you’re not into YA but interested in the book in this pic, scroll down to the last rec. If you don’t read any other part of this post, read that. Because this is the book I really want to rec to people. 

Anyway.

Six of Crows by Leah Bardugo

This book was fun! I had seen loads of stuff on tumblr about it and I’ve missed reading YA lately, so I thought I would give it a go. Plus I’m a sucker for a good heist. It took me a while to get into, I’m not going to lie. I don’t know if I just wasn’t in the right place for it when I tried, or if it was just slow moving at the start. Regardless, I pushed on and I’m really glad I did. 

The premise: Six teens from the dregs of Ketterdam attempt to pull the most difficult heist in the most impenetrable place in the world in order to make a little lot of money. 

Praises: There are different (third person) perspectives throughout the book, and I really enjoyed that because it gave characterization that you wouldn’t quite get if it had been a single perspective. I really loved the way the author created this world but made it really realistic. The names and languages and locations reminded me of various parts of the world, and made it really easy to visualize. Ketterdam is modeled after Amsterdam, and there were definitely traces of Dutch in the language used in the city. Same thing with the other countries and cultures. Fjerda reminded me of Scandinavia, Su Han reminded me of east Asia, Novyi Zem reminded me of Africa, Ravka reminded me of Russia, the Kaelish reminded me of the Irish, and the Suli felt very Middle Eastern to me. I really really liked this kind of implicit representation in it. I thought Bardugo did a really great job giving background about each place without feeling like I was reading an entire history of the country à la many fantasy writers in the world (cough cough George RR Martin). 

Complaints: all these characters are supposed to be incredibly resourceful and also very murderous as times, and they’re only like 16-18 years old. This is just a general complaint about YA stories like this in general. I didn’t mind it when I was the same age as the characters, but reading it now being nearly 24 years old I’m just kind of meh about it. But, that said, it was still enjoyable and I suspended reality of it for this fictional world. 

Since Six of Crows is a duology and I didn’t have to wait for another book to come out, I decided to read the sequel immediately after. Henceforth, we have the next book.

Crooked Kingdom by Leah Bardugo

I liked this one even better than the first one. The characters stayed the same, but the story was very different. They all still banded together to pull some tricks, but the overall story was structured different. 

Praise: So often I think sequels take the same shape and structure as the previous book, especially if the first was received very well. This is not necessarily bad, but it can get tired after a while because you already have an idea of what will happen. This book didn’t do that, and I loved it. It had similar elements, but this was more of a revenge plot than the first book, and I thought it was really well done. I don’t want to give too much away in case anyone wants to read it. But it was a refreshing sequel and I really enjoyed it. We also got to learn more about the characters which I loved, and more background about the world they live it. Again, Bardugo did a great job of balancing everything and not making it too heavy in one area. 

Complaints: Both in this and Six of Crows I wished that the perspectives were divided a bit more evenly. They were for the most part, but I found myself getting tired of seeing the same stuff about some characters and not so much about the others. This may be a bias because my favorite characters had fewer perspectives and I wanted more of them, but whatever. That was really the only issue I had with the book. Oh, and there were a few things (e.g. Winged Shu & Dunyasha) that I felt were introduced for no real reason, other than to have another exciting element. I could have done without these and been perfectly happy. 

Favorite Characters by rank: Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Matthias Helvar, Kaz Brekker. 

Overall, both were very very good and helped kick start the year of reading. 

How Much the Heart Can Hold: Seven Stories on Love

I took quite a turn after reading SOC & CK to read a book of short stories about love. 

I grabbed it, initially, because the cover art is breathtaking and I am a sucker for love. I thought it was going to be all romantic love, but I was surprised to read that it covered several different types of love. I’ve always been fascinated in the different type of love in the world, as well as how we show love to each other, so naturally I had to get it. I thought it would be a nice way to start the year too, with a little bit of tender growth into whoever I am supposed to be. And it certainly did that. It wasn’t entirely transformational. This isn’t the type of book that I’m going to shove in everyone’s faces saying “YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO READ THIS IT’S THE BEST BOOK EVER.” But I will say that it provided me quiet comfort and allowed me to see things in ways I hadn’t really considered before. 

There was a really great quote in the introduction by the editor that solidified my purchase too. She’s said that she gave the different types/definitions of love to various writers and let them choose whichever called out to them the most. That was the only prompt. Write about that love in whatever way the writer saw fit. Then she says: 

“When all the stories came back, the thing that struck me most - the uniting feature of each tale - was that the love they chose was always characterised by action, and resulted in transformation. Love in these stories is rarely static, but constantly changing and developing. It is, universally, an active force.”

And I just love that so much? I think we often forget how transformational love is. We get so swept up in the idea of romantic love being this all encompassing and beautiful thing that turns your world on it’s head, but we forget about the small types of love we experience every day and how that changes us. Because those changes are so much smaller and happen at a much more gradual pace, so we don’t realize how much growth we’ve gone through until we’re years down the line. And I just think that’s so beautiful. 

The Types of Love Discussed in the Book & a Brief  Opinion About the Story That Exemplifies it: 

La Doleur Exquise (the pain of unrequited love): Before It Disappears by Rowan Hisayo Buchanan

What a way to start the book. This one is painful and heartbreaking but gives so much sympathy for a couple struggling late in their relationship when one of them cannot help themselves any longer. 

Pragma (enduring love): One More Thing Coming Undone by D.W. Wilson

An interesting story about reconnecting with an old flame that never really went away, even though you haven’t spoken in nearly twenty years.

Philautia (love for oneself): White Wine by Nikesh Shukla

A heartwarming story about a brother and sister and how the brother learns to see himself through certain aspects of his sister’s life. A brieft touch on casual racism in everyday London society and how the characters deal with it. 

Mania (obsessive love): Magdala, Who Slips Sometimes by Donal Ryan

A fantastic story who’s style mimics the manic, chaotic, desperate love described within it’s pages. About a love that persists, however unhealthy, years after it ended. 

Storge (familial love): Codas by Carys Bray 

This one made me feel a lot. It centers around a woman and her relationship with her father and her son. It’s simple and moved me in a way I didn’t expect. It made me very excited to love a child as my own one day. 

Eros (erotic love): The Love Story by Grace McCleen

My favorite of the stories. It follows a nine year old girl who is desperately wanting to know what love is, as well as the uncomfortable pleasure she experiences when she gets sexual feelings for the first time. 

Agape (love for humanity): The Human World by Bernardine Evaristo

A hilariously funny take on God and what it takes to love and watch over humanity to make sure we don’t destroy everything. It’s honest and it hurts and it made me think of the way God is so often portrayed in media and what it would actually be like to have God’s job. Even if you’re not religious in any way, it’s very universal and definitely worth a read.

SceptreLoves: It Was Summer by Phoebe Roy

This story was the winner of a writing competition that accompanied the hardcover publication of this book. It follows a relationship from start to finish and back again in a way that is soft and moving and incredibly realistic. 

Overall these stories were great. Whether you read them all in one sitting, or read them individually over time, or in some other combination, it’s a light read that will make you reflect more on the life you lead and the way you love. 

#books i read in 2018 #book rec #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leah bardugo #how much the heart can hold #short stories #stories on love #i felt very productive doing this even though it probably wasn't lol

[lushonacid]

Twisted Files  

Chapter 2 Missing Girl  

It’s been a week since that late drive to the motel, I thought I’d find and bring back my little sister. I should mention again I did see splatter but not certain if I seen any bodies… I was dragged too soon. But yeah eventually my parents found out about the whole thing coming back to this shit from a romantic getaway fuck they were torn now worried what possibly could there youngest baby be?. Oh my brother was so pissed. furious several nights just drinking up a storm and smoking more than ever, Shane’s always been the hot head in the family one thing goes wrong and he’ll flip his shit. that’s my brother. although growing up he did become more silent about what went wrong in his life like whenever him and his girlfriend Aria would have a fight, he is more of a let’s drink about it instead of let’s talk about it kind of dude. I don’t know what else to say other than he isn’t taking the whole “Stella’s gone missing thing”. Police asked my parents if they were aware of Stella going to the movies on that night. My parents left early in the morning before we even got up to go to school, did Stella mention it? yeah she tends to blab about what she’s doing for the night and we act like we aren’t listening, when we really were. But all she said was Kaylee, Trinity, Jolie and her boyfriend Zachery, and Zack’s friend Dylan. They were ALL going to the movies. that was it. nothing else mentioned about afterwards going to sneak off to abandon motel. Even if she did, we’d know it’s her teenage mentality I guess but we knew she’d be with her friends. But she never mentioned anything. Stella’s friends hasn’t come over or talk to me and my family since the start of all this. Eventually they did come forward because the story of how there night and Stella’s didn’t match and we start to discover why. It actually started with Stella’s Bf Zack, He came over. we talked about what normal humans talk about, the tragedy of where and what might have happened to my little sister. Zack mentions “Jolie… Jolie went missing that night as well.” I paused for a moment “wasn’t she there?” I asked. “We all were there from the start. Before the movie we thought it would be a wicked idea to smoke some weed before we went into the movie theatre. We drove to a forest that all the school kids go to, to do this type of stuff. I kept staring at Stella… I always do. I feel something tap my arm, I look down and Dylan just handing me a Big plastic bag, clear. Full of shrooms, once I opened the bag the more hippie girls Kaylee and Trin came over. And we all were fucked up in a nice way. and that’s when I lost my focus on Stella.” This forest Zack talks about wasn’t too far from the abandon motel. “someone was keeping a close eye.” I said. “eventually the high worn off and we looked around and noticed Stella and Jolie were gone so us thinking they took off on a stroll while toking their joint or something. We still went after searching both of them are tiny combined, walking further ahead I seen this abandon motel and thinking Stella’s into that stuff I told the girls and Dylan, that they should be over there. It was getting darker by now and made the place even more creepier. We went to the only room that was open and seen blood all on the walls. We seen Jolie’s body laying face down on the dirty bed, we all booked it out of there and ran back to my van, still not sure where Stella could have been. After the girls kept crying and kept mention "where’s Stella??” really got to Dylan telling all of us to “shut the fuck up” but he wasn’t wrong we ran because we could have been next or who knows wtf. I dialed the police that very moment just to find out you already called.“  Meaning this man or women fled the scene with Stella before they even got there. literally dipped once police tacked her sim card. I kept wondering why’d he kill Jolie? 1 day after talking to Zack and finding out from police the body that was found inside that room, I went to speak with Jolie’s mothers sending her my condolences and discussed about the girls because they were best friends, I later on found out that the police told Jolie’s mother that Jolie was beaten severely in the face, they found Stella’s sim card in her throat, she was raped and murdered. And my little sister Stella could have been unconscious, either forced her to watch who knows. But Stella’s body wasn’t there. and it leads me to think is she still alive?  What haunts me every single night is that man answering as I’m waiting for my sister to finally say something "goodbye” it was so fucking scary. I hope we find this monster.  To Be |Continued| —-> S t a y T u n e D !  Be sure to read from the beginning click below

https://lushonacid.tumblr.com/post/617591599635021824/twisted-files-chapter-1-the-late-night

#TwistedFiles Storytime Stories