#up autism to anyone LOL

[girlwithfish]

trying to figure out if im autistic or bpd or both 💀

#i fit like every criteria for bpd nearly besides maybe like the impulsive - reckless spending etc but i am very #impulsive in other ways but the way ppl frame impulsivity in bpd is like spending or binging or stuff like that which isnt rly.me #and idk i have to research autism more bc i never rly #considered it and then when i did consider it the past yr when noah my moot msged me abt autism vs bpd i #thought abt it but not like entirely thought abt it bc its just kinda overwhelming #and i also feel like medical professionals r against me and no one wants to diagnose me so i doubt id even be taken seriously if i brought #up autism to anyone LOL #but xxx #idk it doesnt eben matter its just labels. #but im pretty confident abt bpd ive done so much research the past two yrs

[tmmylovejoy]

One thing I hate so fucking much about people dig up shit to “cancel” people for is that they are never part of the affected demographic. They are not looking for shit someone did wrong 10 years ago because they want to make sure they’re a good person, they’re doing it because they want an excuse to hate them.

The obvious consequence of this, however, is that suddenly an entire demographic is deeply uncomfortable with a creator who once brought them joy.

A thread recently came out about how when Wilbur Soot was 19 he made a lot of very harmful antisemitic jokes. He is now 25 years old. He has talked numerous times about how much he hates the person he was before he was about 22, and how much he’s grown since then. He’s demonstrated this growth too.

The person who published this thread was not jewish and I would assume that the person who gave them the information is not either.

I am jewish. Seeing these screenshots of “jokes” about the genocide of my people fundamentally hurt me. These screenshots do not show his current beliefs or behaviors. It would be impossible to find these jokes if you hadn’t gone actively searching for them. However I still felt betrayed and panicked, no matter how much I knew that Wilbur has changed. I do not know if I can ever watch his content again and find comfort.

This is the problem with digging into peoples past this way. It is never, and never has been, a selfless act nor a form of activism. It is the very opposite. It is the exploitation of marginalized identities to justify your dislike of someone.

#this is ok to rb 👍 (please rb) #obviously I am not trying to minimize marginalized emotions that get brought up by this sort of thing #because I am one of those ppl. idk if i can ever watch wilbur’s content again. #however there’s also no reason I needed to see that thread. it was not indicative of a current problem. #it feels as though a great comfort of mine was forcibly taken away by someone for no reason. like a little game to play. it’s infuriating. #wilbur soot #adora lore #also not adding a link to the thread cause I don’t think the person who posted it deserves that attention lol #i deleted all my old posts about it because they just like. didn’t accurately show how I felt and i didn’t wanna just have that up #sorry to anyone who has had to watch me process all of this #had a category red tornado siren sounding autism moment for a while there

[im-no-jedi]

TBB headcanons: Physical and Mental Traits

I was originally gonna break these posts up by character, but it’s more fun just categorizing everything (plus I get to make more posts this way hehe)

anyway! here are some traits I believe each of the boys have:

Hunter

Oldest of the og four (CT 9901) 

All of his senses are heightened, which makes him more sensitive to things (smells, sounds, touch, etc) but he’s REALLY good at hiding it

Occasionally experiences sensory overload, but has several techniques to keep himself calm (stimming with his knife, meditation, isolation, listening to music, conversing with one of his bros or Omega) 

Is autistic, but is good at masking it most of the time 

Very, very rarely experiences panic attacks from overstimulation (happened mostly as a child, has only happened once during the war) 

Has a high level of tolerance for pain, despite his heightened senses (mostly is just good at hiding it though)

Has a scar over his left eyebrow that he got due to accidentally cutting himself with a knife when he was younger (he has perfectionist issues because of this); has other various scars all over his body (main ones being on his left pectoral from getting shot by Cad Bane, and slight burn marks on the palm of his right hand from the Zygerrian whip)

Fairly introverted; he likes his solitude but gets lonely at times and can NOT be away from the squad for too long or he’ll go crazy

Tech

Second oldest of the og four (CT 9902) 

Retains information the first time it’s told/explained to him (the recording thing is literally just a hobby, he doesn’t need it LOL)

Obsessively researches things in his free time 

Basically blind without his goggles; he’s semi colorblind, which is why the lens are tinted

Is very autistic 

Stims with his tools 

Has an average level of tolerance for pain, doesn’t like to make a big deal out of it and straight up ignores it most of the time (“I pretend I do not see it”)

Has a few scars on his hands from tinkering, but are mostly healed (lotion works wonders my dudes)

Completely introverted, please leave him alone thanks

Wrecker

Second youngest of the og four (CT 9903) 

Is constantly hungry because of his size and high metabolism 

Gets muscle aches if he goes too long without being active 

Has ADHD and autism 

Stims via working out or playing with Lula (or any of Omega’s other toys when she’s not playing with them)

Has a low level of tolerance for pain, but tries to act otherwise (and does a terrible job at it LOL)

Got his face scar on their first mission ever, doesn’t regret it and thinks it makes him look cooler 

Has various scars all over his body, as well as stretch marks from growing so big so quickly

Very extroverted, gets lonely easily

Crosshair

Youngest of the og four (CT 9904) 

Gets frequent headaches because of his superior vision (which is why getting the Order 66 headaches didn’t seem out of the ordinary to him) 

Gets sore limbs sometimes, especially his legs, from how long they are 

Is autistic 

Stims by chewing on his toothpicks 

Has an average level of tolerance for pain but is really good at hiding it

Has a few minor scars on his body but mostly stretch marks from growing so tall so quickly

Very introverted, but gets lonely at times (and will NEVER admit it)

Echo

Oldest of the entire group overall

Suffers from “ghost limbs” with his scomp arm and legs sometimes 

Will get eye twitches sometimes from his brain “short-circuiting” 

Makes jokes about his disabilities to cope (“you wouldn’t hurt a disabled man, would you?”) 

Has PTSD, mostly from what happened after the Citadel explosion 

Distracts himself from the Horrors™ by running ship diagnostics and rereading manuals (which he already liked doing, of course)

Has an average level of tolerance for pain and likes to hide it behind his jokes (“tis but a flesh wound!”)

Has some scars all over his body from the Citadel explosion and his implants

Big extrovert, HATES being alone, please don’t leave him alone OMG

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #tbb headcanons #is it any surprise the most developed one is Hunter ROFL #anyway I will fight you over the autism headcanon #and don't come at me with the 'soldiers can't have mental issues' thing #it's called masking sweatie; look it up #Echo CLEARLY has PTSD so like #TBB being autistic isn't much more of a stretch LOL #also I feel like Hunter could also have minor ADHD #not as obvious as Wrecker of course #but enough to be a problem #it's the heightened senses for me haha #also these are all 'canon' in MLWTBB in case anyone was wondering #already wrote Hunter having a panic attack and everything HA #my dark and broody bandana man #Goggles™ #Muscles™ #Mr Snarky Sniper #Mr Iconic One Liner #star warz

[1tbls]

#disco elysium #de tag #i did already set up a server because this is making my autism buzz lol #if anyone has experience with wiki writing/building and wants to join or suggest anything that would be amazing. plz share in reblogs! #tbh i have no idea how hard this could be but like. how hard Could it be lol

[bancaishi]

didn't want to put this rant in the tags of that last post but honestly i feel like a lot of people hate toshiro disproportionately compared to what he actually did in-story. and if we're being real it's most likely because of racism

#xyx.txt #because so much of his misunderstanding of laios comes from a cultural angle #and because his mannerisms are strongly coded as japanese especially relative to the other characters in the story #i think a lot of people's implicit biases have them reading this as an inherent and unchangeable aspect of his being #rather than being just one aspect of him that originates from a particular context and is fully changeable #like any other trait on anyone else. #part of this is just because of the fact that the story is told from laios and his party's perspective #but i think a lot of people's perspectives on him are probably informed by racism #not all east asians are quiet and polite. i know this myself as a kind of loud and awkward and easily excited east asian person myself #but generally cultural mannerisms from east asia tend to be more subdued overall than western ones #so it's. not uncommon. for western people to read east asians as being rude or cold or aloof just for behaving like this #the 'oriental inscrutability' moment... #like he doesn't need to 'get rid of the stick up his ass'. he just needs to not put such heavy expectations on other people #but yeah i think a lot of people are way more unsympathetic to him than they would have been if he were not so distinctly asian-coded #which is ironic! a lot of people being really mad at him for ableism specifically in the social expectations he holds of others #while applying the same kind of judgment to him but through the perspective of race instead of neurodivergence. suspicious. #blah blah blah it's because he's 'neurotypical' or whatever #predicting how some of you people would behave toward neurodivergent asian people and the outlook isn't good #also if we're on the subject of microaggressions. #laios repeatedly and insistently calling him 'shuro' to the point that everyone else calls him that too #that's not 'funny autism bad with names' moment that's a racist microaggression #someone misnaming me because of my distinctly ethnic/foreign-sounding name doesn't automatically become funny and relatable #just because you're neurodivergent lol #can we maybe have more empathy toward characters and people of color in fandom #instead of always using them as punching bag side character trope #thanks.

[bluejaybytes]

show us your oc lore!!

I'm so sorry but it's exclusively my Splatoon OCs

I'm not at ALL confident in how legible this is, but this is my Web Of Lesbianism(tm), AKA how (almost) all of my lesbian sploon OCs connect to each other, excluding a few who only connect in small places and/or I don't feel like making icons for. Sorry to Scarlet, who absolutely warrants a place here, but I simply Do Not Want to make an icon for </3

Lore under the readmore because I get extremely rambly. whoops and apologies and this is probably the only time i'll ever let myself get THIS infodump-y in a Tumblr post. I'm writing this after I wrote it all out and I'm so fucking sorry it's literally over 2k words because I have no ability to stop once I've started and I've been outright POSSESSED by these losers for the past month. Here's basically everything about my Splatoon OCs

FOR NAMES. Top right is Basil (Blue tentacles), middle right is Penny (Her name is just written because I haven't drawn her yet), bottom right is June (Pink tentacles), bottom middle is Jake (Blue tentacles), bottom left is Parker (Purple tentacles, also the sanitized icon), middle left is Ruby (Orange tentacles), and top left is May (Pink tentacles)

Everything starts when May, Jake, and Ruby are all around ~16-17, while June, May's little sister, is around ~9. May is VERY into Jake, and Jake's just generally a big flirt and a huge romantic, though it's unsure if he really realizes May's extremely obvious crush on him (He doesn't), or he reciprocates, which is unfortunate, because Ruby, who's May's childhood best friend, is also very into her, but May doesn't realize this. When [UNDECIDED EVENT] happens and May and Jake both come to the realization they need to head to the surface to escape the oppressive Octarian domes, Ruby being with them is very clearly an afterthought, and she knows it. So, her jealousy over Jake being someone May has known for less time yet clearly loves more than her, and the fact that trying to escape being very, very illegal, she turns them both in.

Jake manages to call May before he's caught to warn her that Ruby turned them in and the cops will already be heading to her parents house, which gives May enough time to run home, grab June, and make a run for it. Both May and Jake manage to outrun the cops, with May and June ending up far into the outskirts of the domes, while Jake only gets further and deeper within them.

Around a month or two after their initial escape, May's spotted by a patrol of soldiers stationed right around the way to the surface, with the soldier who spots her specifically being Scarlet, the oldest sister to Ruby (Who's not featured here because I don't want to make her icon), who remembers May from when she was a kid and, alongside that, has been feeling disillusioned with life as a soldier, despite her high ranking, and decides not only to let May go, but to even share rations with her. This only increases as Scarlet realizes May is the runaway who's known to have a young child with her, and it goes from Scarlet sparing her own rations to stealing rations from the squad she leads to make sure both May and June are able to eat properly.

Of course, this doesn't last long, as Crimson, the middle sister to Scarlet and Ruby, and fellow soldier stationed with Scarlet's squad, gets suspicious of the missing rations, Scarlet's dismissal of the issue, and her wandering off frequently, and ends up following her and finds her giving the stolen rations to May. A fight breaks out between the two, with Crimson managing to nearly take Scarlet's eye out in the process, as Scarlet's the only person ever to bring a gun to a knife fight and lose. May booked it the MOMENT Crimson jumped out, so she's long gone by the time the scuffle ends, but Scarlet, having just been caught stealing rations, aiding a runaway, and now attacking a fellow soldier (Even if in self defense), bolts to try and make it to the surface as well, albeit she doesn't know where May ran off to.

May ends up making it to the surface around a month after that incident, after wandering lost for the time between, and, while struggling to try and buy some clothes thanks to the language barrier between her and the commonly spoken languages of the surface, one of the employees working there, Penny, is able to help figure out what May's looking for, and helps her with the whole process, since it's a lot different from how it was in the domes. They don't end up seeing each other after that for around a year, but it's important when they do, as Penny's was the first person on the surface May really had a good experience with, so when they randomly run into each other, May's very happy to be able to tell her how meaningful that was to her, and that she's much more adjusted to the culture and language now.

Meanwhile, Jake! Jake ends up wandering deep within the domes, far away from where the actual settlements and cities are, for over a year, just barely surviving through scavenging and avoiding patrolling soldiers. Still, he's not great at it, and eventually he ends up being held at gunpoint by Parker, who insists he tell her his rank and what he's doing out here. He has no idea, as he was never in the military and lies through his teeth. Luckily for him, Parker is a military deserter, and would've had a much worse reaction had she believed him, instead realizing that he's not a soldier and has no idea what he's talking about. Parker's been hiding out in the area, an abandoned sewer system that's frequented as a supply route for soldiers, for several months at this point, and while she actually enjoys her life of living down there, it's a lot of work to survive on her own, and realizing Jake's a fugitive also means he's a potential survival partner.

The two end up meeting up once every day for around a week before Parker feels confident enough that Jake isn't going to screw her over or try and turn her in or anything, and invites him to live with her at her "apartment", an old maintenance closet that's very secluded and not marked on any military maps, under the agreement that the two of them actually work together. Jake instantly agrees because he's been miserable and awful for the past year, while Parker's doing surprisingly well for herself, she even has multiple sets of clothes that she's stolen from nearby outposts (As well as an entire mattress she stole, and her most prized possession, a full deck of playing cards, and an Octo Shot she definitely killed a man for), as opposed to Jake, who's been going off of only what he had on him when everything went down, which is... practically nothing.

The plot basically slows down and chills out here for a while, May and June end up moving in with Penny after a few months of May and Penny hanging out instead of having to live in the shitty motel they'd been living in before (Albeit, the motel was better than the wilds they'd been living in before that), and Parker and Jake get adjusted to their lives in hiding surprisingly well. May and Scarlet even find each other on the surface again, they run into each other while May's out grocery shopping, and it's a very important moment for the both of them, as they've spent this entire time carrying around the guilt of feeling responsible for what happened, so them seeing the other and seeing how much better they're doing on the surface helps ease those guilts.

And then the events of Octo Expansion happen in the background. Parker and Jake know the routines of the soldiers in the area after years of living together, but the supply lines end up being used by sanitized Octoling soldiers after Kamabo starts massively ramping up production, leading to patrols of sanitized soldiers at seemingly random intervals, and outside of the predictable patterns that Parker and Jake were used to. Parker's out doing the laundry when a patrol finds her, and, greatly outnumbering her, end up nearly killing her, and dragging her back to be sanitized. She's in too bad of condition to be saved and reused as a test subject, so she's just sanitized instead.

Jake, naturally, notices when Parker never comes back from doing the laundry, and proceeds to be missing for upwards of two weeks. Jake does his best to look for her, but he also doesn't want to stray too far from their "apartment", as he's scared she might return home when he's gone, and with the unpredictable patrols, he doesn't feel like it's safe to stay out for as long as he wants to to look for her, so he ends up sticking close to home and just hoping he'll be able to find some clue of her. Of course, when he finally does, finally spotting her hanging around the entrance to the hallways that lead to their apartment, it's Not a good thing. He runs up to her to ask where she's been, and the moment he calls for her she turns and attacks him. It's not even a fair fight, even if he went in expecting a fight, he wouldn't have won, but this was a complete surprise. She quickly attacks him and takes him back to be put into the metro as a test subject, and, since he was brought back in much better shape than she was, he actually can be salvaged as a test subject!

And then he isn't. He's in the process of being readied as a test subject, namely, having his memories messed with, that the entire plot of Octo Expansion actually happens, and he's freed when the entire facility shuts down, and the metro is just a normal transport system again. He ends up wandering around for another month or so, except doing so very poorly, as the effects that being prepped to be a test subject had on his memory is bad, and basically erased all of his knowledge on how to survive on his own. Eventually, and luckily for him, he's found by one of the rescue teams that have been sent out in the aftermath of Octo Expansion to rescue lost and sanitized Octolings, and FINALLY gets brought to the surface, as well as being hospitalized for a whole myriad of problems, mainly being severely dehydrated from not remembering safe ways to find and gather water reliably.

When he's ready to be discharged, he realizes he has really nowhere to go, but since he still remembers May's phone number from when they were kids (As it's been years at this point, May and Jake are both in their mid 20s now, and June's around ~17), and calls her to ask if she can come pick him up and also if he can crash at her place for a bit. May is more than a bit surprised that her childhood friend she was fairly convinced had died years ago, and that she feels guilty for abandoning, is not only still alive, but super casual and chill just. Calling her cell and asking if he can sleep on her couch. At this point, June's already moved out, having been encouraged by both May and Penny to get out on her own and try getting out of her comfort zone, and is living in Splatsville with her roommate Basil, and not really having any major plot moments of her own. She's having fun and coming out of her shell and having silly lesbian shenanigans with her roommate in the background while Jake and May are experiencing the horrors.

Ultimately, this is about where thing stop being decided and I still need to figure out what happens next. Jake is living on May and Penny's couch (The universe will never let them have their house to themselves. Not even 3 months after June moves out, Jake's crashing on their couch), and has no memory of his time with Parker, Parker's MIA and potentially dead, and May's struggling with the idea that Jake's either in denial of some major trauma he must've faced through the years, or that she's somehow uniquely fucked up from what happened to them. To make matters worse, Jake's memory issues become more and more apparent, as he continues to struggle to remember Penny's name, instead repeatedly calling her "Parker", yet getting confused when he's corrected. I'm ultimately unsure what I'm going to do to resolve this plot thread, but May and Penny do realize that whoever Parker was, she was someone Jake knew in the time he was missing, and are trying to figure out just exactly who she was, if not where she actually is

Whether or not Parker is dead... it's up in the air. I initially planned for her to die and stay dead, but I'm the worlds biggest sap and I feel bad about killing her off permanently, as well as the fact I have plenty of silly ideas for what I could do with Parker once she's on the surface, so I'm still debating if it's more narratively satisfying for her to die or not. There's, if you believe it, actually a ton I'm glossing over (The intricacies of Jake and Parker's dynamic, the reasons why Parker left, basically everything about Basil and June, literally Basil has an entire friend group that has their own mini-plot that's not at all connected to this and doesn't get mentioned, Crimson is going to be more relevant once I figure out what I want to do with her, ect), but uh. That's the very long gist of it.

If anyone actually, genuinely reads through all of this. Thank you, apologies, and I love you

#im not tagging splat on this sorry if it shows up in the tags #my art #my ocs #oh my god i went on FOR FUCKING EVER !!!!!! AUTISM MOMENT. #this is probably the only time i will ever do this btw this is unhinged even for me #had fun tho. i love my OCs i have a million thoughts on them forever #parkerrrrr shes my current blorbo from my brain #i want to draw her as that fuckin. 'they lifted the mask mandate rip [character]' meme #i also want to draw her and Jake w that one r/malelivingspaces post. Parker and her horrible awful singular mattress she stole #its like the 'and there was only one bed' trope but if it fucking sucked #Also I know I he/him Jake throughout of this but I prommy. he's a lesbian and his pronouns are he/they/any but for the sake of coherency #i just he/him'd him #also yes parker killed a man dont worry about it #anyways anon thank you so much. ive been fucking tormented by the squits for months and ive wanted so badly an excuse to just lay it all ou #EDIT: and for anyone who's curious the splat OCs I have that were NOT mentioned here are: #Amaranth (Basils sister) Summer (Pennys niece) Lorelai/Cat/Ari (Basil's friends + teammates) Callisto (Lorelai's brother) #and if you count her- Honeydew (Not related to any of my other OCs- she just exists to be a crossover w a friend lol) #the squits

[yinyangle]

im gonna be honest i dont understand rtumblr (lore and the fact i find rping very very difficult) but yall r having fun and i support u all

#i have tried dnd with friends and i quite literally cant be anyone other than myself #<- the campaigns i was in have continued without me simply because i was always late due to time zones #and once i did wake up it sessions were either complete or in full swing so i had. no idea what was happening and was too tired to read #i want to play dnd it seems so fun but i literally dont like it #is this autism #probably #i also used to do rps with friends (seperate of dnd) and they were always so. boring #i just cant get into rp or worldbuilding or making my own lore. its just not fun to me #i like consuming other peoples lore! #like in games! but i cant make my own #no point in doing it if theres no passion #all 3 of my ocs are just characters i barely draw #n e way #uhh #this was a long ramble?! in tags!?!? #i find writing very boring unless im super interested #and doing that with other people is unpredictable and not fun #I LIKE WATCHING OTHERS DO IT I JUST CANT DO IT MYSELF #ok i better wrap this up no way someone is reading all this lol #yang posts

[yamarugii]

really want to make a pkmn related discord server to Talk to more people but that's also Scary

#pkmn #pkmn discord #if anyone has one... let me know. or ill make one and suck it up LOL #pkmn sv #autism hit BAD i havent stopped thinking abt this game for a good few months now

[peapod20001]

In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3

#vent #oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday? #hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin #just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol #hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often? #laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol #hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps #is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!! #oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!! #like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow #I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!! #now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :) #uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment #I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone #mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it) #anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu #I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my #guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa. #squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou #oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man #2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried #with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah #it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only #gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned #for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new #girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or #emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid #for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much #NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here

[halfd3af]

This could very easily just be me and my unique neuroses, but does anyone else struggle to laugh at 95% of things that people find funny?

I often see people laughing at meme compilations and regardless of its specific variety, I never seem to so much as crack a smile at them. For Twitch streamers that I watch whose comedic work I very much love and enjoy, laughter from me is still rare.

I chuckle a lot, but I’d describe them as an exhalation at best, or I merely just laugh in my head. I experience a true bark of laughter maybe every other week, if that, and it’s probably even less frequently.

As a result, I feel… isolated by not being able to share in the joy of laughing at amusing things, even if they’re just silly memes.

#yes I’m neurodivergent in case anyone is wondering #the trifecta of autism/adhd/ocd #but I don’t think those are specifically the cause of Not Laughing bc I know plenty of ND people that got no issues laughing up a storm lol #but who knows maybe there’s some influence #neurodivergent #halfd3afbrainvomit

[butcherb1rd]

autism is fun until you stop feeling like a person

#i feel like there’s a barrier between me and the rest of humanity #and I just can’t cross it #i always feel like an outsider no matter who I’m with #i know lots of people can relate and have made posts about it n such #but man it just sucks #I’m halfway through college and I’ve barely made any relationships deeper than a twice-a-week lunch meetup #it feels like I’ll never find anyone I can truly be myself around #not after I lost (aka: was left by) my ex friend #they were the only person I felt real with #and now they’re gone and I’m hollow and nothing feels right #maybe my mom is right and I need to up my depression meds lol #personal #actually autistic #autism

[faderifter]

i know this point has been made exhaustively but being fuck zoned hurts SO BAD. thinking you make a friend only for them to distance themselves when they realise they can’t have sex with you, for that to happen over and over, to feel like the only way you can make some kind of connection is to be sexually available…it’s crushing and extremely isolating. This is an experience I think most people perceived as female can relate to, doubly so for those who are in male dominated spaces and/or autistic

#autism #sexualisation #fadetext #i made a few friends after moving to the city after spending a while in an EXTREMELY weird and bad headspace #they were very involved in the local scene of the niche music i liked #and after meeting them i started feeling more optimistic about finding a community and about life #so when they disappeared after finding out about my relationship it was crushing #it’s still crushing and i lost my in into the scene #one was my fault for being too scared to end a misunderstanding asap #and that still hurts because we got extremely close and i felt a connection which is EXTREMELY rare for me #and i still think about them almost daily lol!! #but the other wasn’t my fault beyond if they didn’t like my personality but it still hurts #it’s hard to feel like i can have a partner OR a larger social life/friends #he doesn’t do anything to isolate me himself it’s all not being able to make friends without sex #both because of men’s dehumanizing interest in me and because i can’t open up without sleeping with someone #and they’re rarely real friends! only 2 have stuck around and one (online) doesn’t want to visit if i’m not single #so i only have about 2 irl friends and the rest are my boyfriends that i would lose if we broke up #this is all to say that i feel extremely isolated and men’s sexualisation is both further isolating and a source of temporary relief #i love tags sm thank you public but effectively invisible personal diary system #if anyone has read all this it’s sin and even if i do a bad job of keeping in touch i love you dearly #and wish you were here

[pluraljerma]

autistic people is like a siblings to me

#so i don’t think i’m autistic. lol. dunno if i’ve said this here but it’s a recent revelation i’ve had #my running theory is that i mixed up autism with cfs #so. yea #but it’s weird bc i still feel connected to like the community and it feels weird to have to reword calling myself autistic #so if you see jokes or whatever where i say autistic about myself that’s why #also i don’t owe anyone anything bc this is a very personal thing! hope this helps. #wh talks #mind and body etc

[magicdyke]

just curious what specifically makes u say youre definitely Not autistic?

i question myself abt this a lot tbh, but i have taken a few of those extensive screening test type quizzes and i never really score within the range of it being possible. i think that's the main thing? also there are many things that autistic ppl deal with that I don't believe i do/feel/relate to in the way that is intended

#i also get nervous about categorizing my personality traits into symptoms #esp when i really do not know a lot abt what being autistic is like (to my knowledge) and i really really do not want to make assumptions #that may be considered stereotyping or anything of that nature #i try not to rb a lot of autism jokes bc i dont think that that's a line im meant to cross #i also really dont want to start thinking that i have it solely based on an internet trend or something #however the fact that two of my friends have brought it up to me has definitely made me think abt it more seriously #short answer: it is all based on mostly meaningless things but i dont know if it's necessary for me to think abt it like that #especially if im only considering it now instead of the entire 20 years of my life #but idk LOL #ask #I've wanted to type this out for a minute so thank u anon #if anyone has any like insight on this please feel free to reply/dm me #/etc

[toffee-biscuits]

wy is too insecure to pick up flirting so cin decided drastic measures were needed smh (2/3)

[Cinder | she/her] [Wyatt | they/any]

#oc #original characters #original character #dystopian oc #scifi #pride art #pride 2022 #oc cinder #oc wyatt #oc rgb #main style #pattern background #this is supposed to be their first kiss but wy would prolly react like this a lot lol #oh hey since this is for pride do you want random related trivia? #of course you do #none of them actually use labels but #cinder is cis straight* #(shes into men / masc androgyny) #wyatt is amab nb and too anxious to seriously think anyone would want to date them #probably demiro-pan #bonus aspect doesnt care #agender aro ace but specifically in the autism way #that doesnt make sense but it does ok #relationship positive but yeah #words </3 #oh n they all end up dating eachother so throw poly in there too

[electrosquash]

I feel more and more like i've been severely misdiagnosed

#and failed by the youth welfare system but that's a given lmao fuck the FDP #fun fact i've been diagnosed every single personality disorder #because i was desperate for money (thanks Hartz4 sanctions) #and the postgrads were desperate for test subjects for their PhD dissertations (thanks societal Dr. expectation on medicine students) #so they just diagnosed me on the fly. but did anyone ever think of looking in the autism direction? nah #every single symptom i'm having can surely be explained by ICD10 F60.something (they even made some up lol) #the only one i agree with is bpd though #i keep relating to autism posts here but then i remember i don't qualify for all aspects #and only because tumblr labels them all autism/adhd doesn't mean those experiences don't exist in other neurodivergencies (bc there's more) #but then again i don't qualify for all aspects for bpd either but since that's the lazy cop-out diagnosis i guess it was enough lol #i guess i'm just unfathomable like that #i think i should allow myself to relate to experiences more than diagnosises. the latter model has failed me anyway #personal