#until i rip it open and get all

[rahbid]

TARGET   :   TODD, JASON. LOCATION   :   @sonburied​ ASSIGNMENT   :   gone girl ( 2014 ) sentence starters. ENCRYPTED   :     ❛ We could have had this fight four hours ago. I’m late. ❜

        she’s pouting   ---   something she rarely does. her hair is done. her skate bag is packed. and he’s leaving. no, that’s not fair. he’s all she has and he’s leaving. did he forget? have to cancel and didn’t tell her? no, that’s not fair. maybe he didn’t use the word promise, but it was implied. they were supposed to go ice skating. the rink was finally open and she’d been yearning for months and months. she’d done everything right. she behaved, she asked politely, she prepared everything herself. why is he leaving? why can’t she go with him, at least? what if something bad happens? what if he ends up a crumbled pile of viscera in a creek just like ar   ---   no. no. she’s not letting her brain go that far. that would never happen to jason. it can’t ever happen to jason. he’s infallible. he’s perfect   ---   well. usually. right now, he’s an asshole.

      ❝   no! we’re having it now!   ❞   no, no. no! she was doing so good! why does she have to go and ruin it by being shitty now? he’s busy. he has things to do. this isn’t a personal attack, why does she always have to get so defensive? why can’t she just let things be? her stomach feels sick. she feels like she’s watching herself from outside of her body, watching herself be an ungrateful brat ruining one of the last good things she has in her tragedy of a life. maybe it’s good. maybe the suffering of jason leaving her will be biblical.

        ❝   you were supposed to take me skating!   ❞

#do i think jason would do this 2 her? possibly. not with malicious intent but listen #this was my first thought #bc jezebel never wants to fight with jason - he means too much to her #i wanna b using my comic icons for these for Obvious reasons #but i dont have enough w/o my old laptop #until i rip it open and get all #my shit bacl #so none of the icomns i can dig up from myb log have the Right expressions #anyway #poutpout bel #「 ACCESS FILE :// OUTGOING. 」: target eliminated˒ mission success. #sonburied

[grave-st0ned]

finally moved and bought myself a lil treat (or 5) for getting it done in one day i am SO EXCITED TO OPEN WHEN I GET HOME

#grave-st0ned #🕸️ #thoughts w/ corey #monster high #mh #monster high gen 3 #monster high g3 #mh g3 #monster high dolls #mh dolls #i bought them all before work today lmao #i didn’t want to leave them in the car so they’re all under the counter rn #also despite hating draculaura’s fit i did in fact get her #i have 20ish dolls to open bc i’ve been waiting until i moved #also cleo was hidden at this walmart so rip whoever hid her but i snatched immediately #they all had nice screening too surprisingly

[nerosdayinanime]

jjk & kny self inserts - icarus is all the way back from feb last year (i made him & aether but then giyuu consumed my soul and i havent touched them Since...) and i just made kuro today

#neros art tag #kny oc #kny oc art #the curse of forever thinking my self inserts are the hottest bitches around while borderline hating myself irl</3 #all the fandom inserts get one of my names from my list #icarus was from back when i had neon green hair (beloved<3) #kuro bc it means black like nero. also he should have blue hair but i didnt think it'd fit #i could make a ver where he does ig #not today tho. is bedtime #icarus gets to be the mary sue insert hes a very very distant relative of the gojos (eyes) and can manipulate cursed energy #theyre in the area when junpei & mahito go apeshit at the school and they find the disfigured corpses #mahito cracks open the soul to manipulate it- icarus cant do that but once mahito cracks it open he can fuck with it after the fact #so he starts turning them back to people corpses (theyre dead he cant bring them back to life) up until they find junpei's potato body #he was recent enough that he was still alive when he got turned back so they took him to the hospital. now junpei's stuck w 2 crackheads #kuro however is just vaguely sad and angry. him & giyuu bond over a long mission and he dies after taking a hit that wouldve killed giyuu #tsutako was worldshattering sabito was soulcrushing kuro was the confirmation of a pattern #loserboy giyuu posting #he wasnt nearly as close with or hurt as much as tsutako & sabito did but it ripped the wound open again #also obligatory playlist of songs i listened to while drawing: icarus - devilman no uta(nickstradi/HowL) destruction (joywave) #kuro - tom's diner(suzanne vega/DNA) alexa play the blues (PREACHERVAN) pepper tea(bellevue days) #i think theres supposed to be another one but i clicked through a bunch of songs & i cant tell which one it is in my recently played :( #alexa play the blues is kinda odd one out bc i had to go somewhere and i started thinking abt him in the car listening to it so its include #hes not sadfuck all the time. just most the time #oh ya fuck icarus' eyes arent always black. only when its activated. longer its activated the more it bleeds- it kinda stains so he always #looks like hes been crying lmao #really wanna redraw all the little jokes we made abt them they make me giggle

[wheelercore]

I don't trust things not being on the inspo board when Rosemary's Baby and Oedipus The King are straight up just not there despite the clear references

#they will literally Lie when it comes to anything about the wheelers. i respect that tho. #how many times do they have to bring up spawns of satan and satans baby before people go wait. rosemarys baby #esp the various uses of roses symbolistically similar to RB #honestly id even argue the grandfather clock qas also ripped from rosemarys baby esp since its mostly associated with roman #who is the head of the cult and the mastermind who preyed on rosemary to begin with #'satan' being a stand in for the men in rosemarys life inc guy and roman #and dont get me started on oedipus... like the eyes? being gouged out? victor? vecna victims? #thebes being struck by a plague until the 'source' is found? literally s2 and s3? el trying to find the source #alexei saying that opening a portal only works in hawkins bc there is something special about hawkins? what was causing the downfall #of thebes was Oedipus the entire time? bc he was the 'source'? and for thebes not to be cursed anymore oedipus needs to be either cursed or #exiled? #*killed or exiled #the karen look alike on front of the missing persons board? oedipus goes missing after realizing the truth? kill me now #st x rosemarys baby #st x oedipus the king #and like. dont even get me started on edward henry and richard all meaning some variation of 'king' or 'ruler'

[tamagotchikgs]

last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but. #even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO... #like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating. #what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

[vaugarde]

let me tell you it is so easy to tell when some people went to high school in a super liberal area or didnt suffer from bigotry there.

#i unfortunately cant say that i am in disbelief to what happened to nex. horrified yes. shocked? no #im gonna be vague so i dont doxx myself but ppl at my school were straight up arrested for open hate crimes #there were proud neo nazis there who would brag about the holocaust #i had a gnc art teacher and she was ripped to shreads there. it was all excused bc ‘’she was off’’ #my neighbor posted a trans girls info online to slander her and get her targeted for harassment. after she’d been her best friend #i grew up watching the girls volunteer to help my brother in the special ed classroom walk out mocking his voice and echolalia #saying even worse things about his classmates. down to comments about murder suicide #if they had a kid with high needs #and all the while the faculty turned a blind eye and punished the victims #and like….. i know i wasnt in a particular awful area compared to some of the well known racist states #this is a problem and it has been for a long time. you all just turned a blind eye #bc ha ha bullying is normal for high school tee hee! until a child is dead. #echoed voice #like… its disturbing to me jow easily i could see nex’s death happening anywhere. the nex’s we dont know about because this is so normalized #how a child had to die before some people started to realize something was wrong

[strwbrymlkshake]

LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND

#mine #🎸 #vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever #the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH #why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS #i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work #idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to #learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW #love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!! #if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!! #if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this #so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just #make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do #and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely #i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_– #everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings #if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this #im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane

[ujuro]

My akb oshi has a dating scandal…rip

#SHES IN MY ICON DONT GRAD PLEASE #if she grads hiichan is all I have left #words of mine #also someone pointed out that since it’s with a man and with how people treat bi idols…she’s gonna be called an evil duplicitous #straight girl until the end of time now rip #without ranting uhhh bi erasure and a dislike of bi idols is a problem when it comes to lgbt idols and lgbt fans #even though naachan has been open about liking both her image is more gay so she’s gay #until she gets caught with a man and then she’s an evil queerbaiting straight girl #even if akb is irrelevant to the wider public fans don’t forgive like that

[rainbowgothdisaster]

get you a girl who needs a body horror trigger warning

#i fucking love me a woman who looks human until she /doesnt/ #femme fatale but shes gunna fucking eat me #nothing gets me excited like a woman who could rip my arms off #who wouldnt want a girl who could leave them a bloody pile of boneless meat #fuck id give anything to have a woman who who could stick me with one claw and take out all my organs in one strike #imagine youre making out and her mouth opens and she just bites your head off #i think i have issues. #like. a lot of issues. #“teratophilia”

[six-of-ravens]

THE EVIL IS DEFEATED

(and by the evil I mean the super ugly purple and zebra print file folder mom bought for me when I was going to college, which I was grateful for of course but have always thought was super tacky and have been meaning to replace for a decade now)

#love you mom but like. why did they even sell file folders in that pattern #like ah yes let me get my adult tax papers out of my children's file folder #anyway. new one is still not perfect but walmart didn't have any plain black ones and i didnt want to twiddle my thumbs for half an hour #until the staples opened #actually this was the only one at walmart that someone hadnt ripped the clasp off of... #like i know we shouldn't wrap everything in plastic bc plastic bad but when i see that. i get it. #like someones unattended child just went through and destroyed like $100 of product #also yes i am in a bitchy mood ive had a headache brewing all day and im waiting for the advil to kick in. apologies

[ephemeral-winter]

i am experiencing a toothache likely from my wisdom teeth finally being little bitches and even with the ibuprofen and the saltwater rinses it is horribly uncomfortable and all i can think about is what on earth did any of our ancestors do when their wisdom teeth came in

#is this why opium became popular #or did they all just die #couldn’t get a dentist appt until 10 days from now and the emergency dental clinic isn’t open on the weekends rip #I will white knuckle it until Monday I guess #help lol #rare pic of me in the wild

[whydidoth]

.

#super cool for my legs to just stop working so i get to be in a ton of pain and nauseous and can also barely even move #and i missed class yesterday because i could literally barely move my legs without crippling pain #but i was at least functional enough today to go even though whats normally a fifteen minute walk across campus became a forty minute walk #and also probably undid whatever healing my rest day did so now im stuck in bed again #and i got to find out that the building my class is in is wildly inaccessible #the only elevator is literally in a different building and there's a slope that is definitely too steep to be ada compliant #and also the elevator is behind a door in a dinky corridor and the door its behind doesnt have a fucking button for it to open itself #and all this time im just thinking about how ive been told i shouldnt use a mobility aid because itll lead to my muscles degrading #like idk man!! #but i think maybe being able to use my legs at all even if theyre. #a bit weaker is probably preferable to not being able to move at all!!! #and i cant even get into see a doctor about any of this until october despite scheduling the appointment way back in fucking APRIL #because we live in an absolute nightmare of a healthcare system #and if i get told by one more medical professional that i should stretch and workout more i think im not legally liable for ripping #their fucking heads off #newsflash!!! i do already workout on the days i can move my legs!!!!! #and shockingly #it isnt a common symptom of not working out to get crippling leg pain or else wed probably have a lot more people needing wheelchairs #or getting told to eat healthier #i do eat healthily bit fuck you if i have to put up with chronic pain i should at least be entitled to eating food i like #oh maybe if you only eat uncooked broccoli and work out twenty three hours a day you might have the privelege of maybe improving your legs #obviously since i didnt have the good sense to be born able bodied

[135-film]

i wish vocal exercises didnt make me feel really embarrassed and dumb.

#whimper whimper #i guess. #more whimper whimper in the tags though #sorry im having really bad dysphoria rn #wearing mens clothes makes me feel like a tryhard instead of feeling good because of the people around me. #because i dont fucking pass #because cis people hate me and will never fucking respect me until i do pass #because theyre all assholes and fucking suck #i especially hate when i get the 'hi sir- i mean ma'am' as soon as i open my mouth. #i hate my voice. #if i could rip out my vocal cords i fucking would!!!!! #too bad every time i try to do vocal exercises i get too embarrassed and never actually use them properly #especially because it gets commented on and thats what makes it worse for me :') #i wish i was just born a man.

[thatdemiboymess]

Every day is a struggle to not fall back into the same self-harming coping mechanisms that we left behind in high-school over increasingly small and stupid things.

#fae irl #suicidal ideation #self harm #self harm mention #venting in the tags #<- this user was doing dishes and one of the pots in the sink overflowed and then spilled dirty sink water all over the counter #and it was sincerely almost the final straw for them to do something stupid to themselves again #i am an adult i shouldnt be breaking down over stupid shit like this #but also #times are rough and its alright if you need a moment to recollect yourself after making a mistake #its not like my life is even that difficult so why cant I just be okay #its okay to not be okay and different people react to different situations in various ways and theres no shame in that #and on and on and on #i want to break something i want to set something on fire i want to scream and scream and scream and cry and throw shit and make a mess #i want to replace my heart with a stereo and blare the music so loud it rips my skin and scream everything inside of me raw #until its all gone and i feel better and my head is quiet again #and i want to rip myself open and watch myself bleed out or maybe just go to sleep and never wake up again #but i am an adult and id have to replace everything i break and i cant afford a noise complaint and id have to pick up any mess i make #and i wouldnt be able to afford the hospital bills if anything went wrong if i hurt myself again and i dont want to get admitted #to the ward again because it was horrible and made things worse and i cant afford it anyways #I just want to feel better already man

[poptartmochi]

OH. I got so caught up in the nero spiral I didn't even mention the redraw ideas 🌋🚶🏻‍♀️

#it struck me that it would be so easy to translate the mv to leetle mees gioia #in the beginning it would be baby gioia playing the organ and one of the cuts would be the empty audience. she messes up and trashes the #stage in anger. she throws the door open and steps through it slightly older now + in novice order gear. the claws have sunk in now yk! #and when she runs away from the camera‚ the scene switches to the forest where the abandoned church is #and she's older still‚ in disheveled uniform - knees soiled with dirt. the bust is of her father + she pushes it off the column‚ breaking it #she stays the same when the camera flips - running from the broken bust of her father (thinking she is to blame for his death) but Also from #cella off-screen! i imagine this set could be ripped from the one in 4 +she just throws herself down one of the sets of stairs from that map #the neon part of the mv i think would instead be in blacks and whites‚ and i think the exit signs would be those horror style eyes instead #anyways this part would feature the gioia right before she meets vergil‚ donned in her mourning reds yk. (although it being BW‚ you wouldn't #be able to tell 🤪) and the library here is ofc where the one where she begins stalking him 😭😭 #when she runs through the doors‚ she'd be in her proper presequel fit and I think things would quickly flash by in the background #as she ran further and further across the steps. which would be the energy swords 🤪 because vergil brought her to the end! 😶 #anyways i think her feet are bleeding as she does this since her story Is supposed to end with blood loss. #but then the energy swords give away and she starts falling 🚶🏻‍♀️ #i think when she flips over so she's falling face-first to the end‚ that she does it with the crumbling labyrinth flying past her + maybe #even the snakelike form of haagenti framing it all? anyways as she falls‚ blood flies past her like rain.. but in reverse.. she's getting #closer to the clouds ykwim.. and as the end approaches and she gets closer to the camera‚ the downpour gets stronger until she's basically #covered in it + closes her eyes. then BAM blackout with the tf2 cracking noise 🫀 slow fade-in to her blood puddle on the ground‚ credits #roll‚ footsteps quietly approach until a pair of boots enter the frame.. drawn out and uncomfortable silence‚ contrasting the hectic action #from earlier. finally‚ with an agitated click of the heel‚ the boots leave the frame. BAM!! 🌋 #this is my vision 📚 #sriracha.txt #nero prime #fortuna presequel

[grgie]

im still at work and i have anxiety tummy ALREADY

#helena talks to the void #workposting #like BRO hang on until i leave work at least!?! #just telling myself in 4 hours all will be gucci and ill be sat there like lol why was i anxious #until then tho. rip. #also. when am i going to eat real talk #bc im getting to london when doors open so i need to go pretty much straight there #and then ill need to travel across london #and i cant bring outside food in #cool cool cool