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korodere · 3 years

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kamukomahina gender/body headcanons

a bit of a ramble about my body, gender, and general appearance headcanons for them bcuz someone sent me a curiouscat prompting this 3k words of hyperfixation nonsense

Komaeda:

- He has a naturally lithe body, with a thin waist, broad shoulders and hips, which give him an hourglass. and a rather andrognyous body, which is "lucky" for him, because I hc him as nonbinary and gender non-conforming

- Gender-wise, as I said, I think he's nonbinary. Usually I do view Nagito as AMAB but I indulge in transmasc Nagito from time to time depending on my preference and how much I wish to uh, well, project, lol. But either way I think he would use he/they pronouns in a western sense. In japanese, however, they don't use third person pronouns that other people refer to them with, and in canon he uses the first person pronoun "boku", which is a "soft" masculine pronoun, in comparison to the "hard" masculine pronoun, “ore” (which Hajime uses btw!) which fits quite nicely, in my opinion! Also, in Japanese, you can be 'fluid' with your first person pronouns depending on the situation, so I think he could use more neutral or feminine pronouns should he desire it, too, to play on his gender non-conformity.

- Komaeda is very secure in his gender, regardless of being AMAB or AFAB. He does not care about stigma, or discrimination, he does not care about being "accepted" by broader society. Broader society is sort of meaningless to him, the average person and their ideas about gender and presentation and effeminity mean NOTHING to him. Whether or not a random person the street genders him correctly or treats him with respect is sort of, pointless? Because to him, most ordinary people are pointless nobodies. Their thoughts do not matter to him. I think he is still prone to insecurity, however, when around his "betters" but I just struggle to think he would degrade himself in regards to gender. to him, it's the least of his problems. what he cares about is hope and talent. He could dress femininely or wear makeup or straight up crossdress and not mind it, really. He thinks people would find a problem with it are the problem, because why does it even matter? It speaks to the way Komaeda is detached from societal norms & "normal" people, he did not grow up in normal circumstances, so he doesn't interact with the world normally by any means. he can mask and act normally to the best of his ability, often unintentionally?, but he simply does not fit into broader society and doesn't seek to.

- Komaeda loses weight really easily, and doesn't gain weight that well. This is mainly due to his many illnesses but also the medications he's been put on. He has a low appetite and burns weight rather easily, even though I headcanon that he eats like garbage (mainly junk food & takeout, since he obviously cannot cook). This makes him overall, health wise, not very healthy, and stick thin because of it. A stiff breeze could knock him over, tbh.

- He has a lot of faded scars, self-inflicted or not.

- Pre-despair (in HPA) he is fairly healthy but still lithe, and progressively his body deteriorates through his 2 years of hopes peak before the Tragedy begins.

- During the Tragedy itself, his body is at it's worst. he is almost nothing but bone at times, barely kept together by a need to live so he can see hope triumph. His weight fluctuates but he's very unhealthy. He's not anorexic or on death's door, but he's not well off, either.

- After being put into the neo world program, right after waking up, he's very, very thin and gaunt. he was in a pod on feeding tubs for an indiscernible but at least probably a month's worth of time? So he's just very weak, like he could collapse if he moves too quickly.

- But a while after waking, he goes into remission, and starts to gain more healthy habits due to being rehabilitated and cared for by Hinata, and gains some weight, finally at a healthy, normal weight. I still think he would struggle with putting on too much weight, but I am slightly fond of the idea that he gets a bit of healthy pudge after a while. To him, it's so foreign being healthy, that he honestly think something's wrong with him at first.

Hinata:

- Hinata has a very... average body, true to form. His hips and waist aren't too pronounced but he has a loosely "hourglass" shape, too, just not as exaggerated as Komaeda's in comparison.

- Gender-wise, I am EXTREMELY fond of transmasc Hinata. While I think I portray AMAB Hinata more than transmasc Hinata (in art and writing), I still firmly prefer transmasc Hinata. The reason I think portray otherwise more is just out of comfortability, but I've been getting better at comfortably portraying FTM Hinata. I have some reasons I prefer it and think you can extrapolate it from canon, but let's get into that

- Hinata, in my eyes, has an arc and story that fits perfectly into him just. Being trans. His desire to be someone else, someone better, someone he can proud of, and the way he overcompensates for himself and has an extreme inferiority complex would easily lend to him having similar feelings about his gender. To me, Hinata is a trans man who overperforms his masculinity out of insecurity and a need to pass. I see him as someone who would strictly use "he/him" in a western sense, which is lended to by his use of the "ore" pronoun in canon, which is almost hypermasculine.

- Even if he were AMAB, I think it still works, I think he's still someone who's insecure and tries to assert himself more strongly and therefore performs masculinity in a way to appear more confident than he is.

(side note: I actually read a bit about queerness in Japan and how it relates to gender performance and the use of pronouns, and read a bit about how queer women in japan tend to use "boku" and "ore" to perform masculinity, which I find neat. “Ore” was also sometimes used exclusively to show anger and dominance, which is why it's categorized as a "rough" pronoun. I think Japanese language, gender, and expression, and how those all relate to one another, are extremely interesting and if you get the time you should read about it lol)

- Body-wise, pre-despair, I think Hinata would. not have top surgery, obviously. I think he has a fairly average but leaning a little on the hefty side chest (pre-op) and binds it, hence the '91 cm' (but also he still has 91 cm post-op because bazongas). I also just think he leans on the "twunk" side of things at this point, not buff but not stick thin or without muscle, just kind of average with average strength and all, though I think Hinata would've tried to do sports and stuff to find his talent so he's in shape :)

- My personal, kind of amusing, but also kind of... thematical? Headcanon, is that during the Kamukura project, he also underwent gender transition. to be honest, while it may not make sense in modern Japan, I think we can suspend our disbelief for fiction, and also make the argument that Hinata's "transition" into Kamukura CAN be read, in some part, as relatable or at least familiar to the trans experience. Iit is not out of the realm of possibility, either, to assume that because many bits of society in Danganronpa are advanced (specifically science, is extremely ahead of our understanding, almost sci-fi like at times) certain attitudes about gender and sexuality can be smoothed over more in a Japanese context.

(side note: I also think that science-wise, we can suspend our disbelief, and assume that top surgery and bottom surgery are much more advanced in this universe, given the almost unbelievable levels of science in Danganronpa, such as memory wipe, mind control, completely realistic virtual simulation, um literally everything about Kamukura which is body modification and brain modification to an extreme, etc. I think it's kind of fitting within these to assume that... Hinata/Kamukura could just, gain a functioning penis, lol)

Kamukura:

- Kamukura would have a. "Perfect" body. it's stated, I'm pretty sure, that they modified not only his brain but his body, because he needs to be able to perform every talent under their belt with ease, and his strength, instincts, technique, are all superhuman. So it's clear to me he'd have a buff body. toned muscles and all. He wouldn't really feel a need to keep it up, though, but I think since they're very... artificial (basically fucking steroids?) they wouldn't fade from a lack of keep-up.

- Kamukura also rarely ever is injured, but when he does, his body heals rather fast and can care for himself adequately, because again, his body is modified to a point of almost inhumanity.

- Gender wise, Kamukura genuinely does not care. however, I am not one to think that Kamukura is "a different person" from Hinata, rather, he is separate from Hinata, but an extension of Hinata as well, proven that he experiences some of his emotions even if subconsciously and without understanding them. he isn't a different personality or person developed in Hinata's body, but a very traumatizing, repressed, and manipulated version of Hinata given a new name, with memories repressed. He's like Theseus's ship in human form---if you get rid of everything that makes someone themselves and replace it, bit by bit, is it the same person? Technically, yes, but... truly? Who knows.

Because of this, I think Kamukura would have a leaning toward masculine gender performance (in canon, in fact, he uses the soft masculine pronoun "boku" in stead of "ore" like Hinata) BUT I think he is still very nonbinary. In a western sense, i think he would use he/they pronouns, but not really care if someone mistook him for a woman, I suppose.

- His appearance, unironically, is very nonbinary or "he/they" to me because he's wearing a suit, the archetypal form of masculinity, but has extremely long hair, which is considered feminine, and speaks softly (dully). Of course, the bishounen "pretty boy" appearance isn't uncommon or considered less masculine in japan, I think, but there is still a different between soft masculinity and rough masculinity in japan, which lends itself to being interpreted sort of gender non-conforming by western audiences :)

- Kamukura, due to his apathy, struggles with self-maintaining, but as we all probably know i am extremely attached to KamuKoma and thus headcanon that Servant helps him, sort of like a royal servant would royalty in the old days, take care of himself by bathing him, brushing his hair out, grooming him, etc. partially out of duty, partially out of appreciation for Kamukura's body, and partially out of maintaining his sort of "perfect" look since Kamukura, especially post-Junko death, is perceived widely by the public as the new leader of the ultimate despair, even if he is ambivalent to such a title.

Post-DR3 Hinata/Kamukura combined:

As I rambled on about previously, I don't think that Kamukura and Hinata are separate people or personality, I really dislike the interpretation that they are like a "split personality" or operate like DID, because they do not "form" like DID, but also in canon, are not portrayed as separate people.

In post-dr3, Hinata instead says that he is both of them, because he is. Kamukura is Hinata, always was, but had been given a new, false identity, had been stripped of his previous self, his memories, his personality, and crafted into something new. but that did not "split" his brain into two people. It simply repressed who he once was, and made him someone he now was. But when Kamukura regains his memories, his past self, through the means of the new world program by restoring his own memories after SDR2 concludes and he wakes up, as well as doing the same for everyone else, he decides to be "Hajime Hinata" who he always was, but carrying and shouldering the weight of what "Izuru Kamukura" had been, become, and done. Hinata *is* Kamukura, he answers for Kamukura's wrongdoings, his crimes, as something he had done as a different person who's mind operated differently, due to being artificially suppressed, modified, into an apathetic tool for the scientists who made him, and later and aimless, bored individual who simply sought meaning he did not have in the unknown of what despair would be at it's climax. And if hope could overcome it.

As such, I think, when Hinata's self is brought back into the mix, and he now deals with Kamukura's apathy and boredom in part, but much less consuming and much less often, I think hinata is less staunchly "masculine", does not overperform it anymore, and is trying to understand what his past means to him, what his present is, and what his future will be. I think that Hinata would still primarily use he/him (or still use "ore" in Japanese, as it's also a means of his personality, which is a bit rough around the edges and blunt), but be more ambivalent to rigid gender expression, still finding comfort and idealness in masculinity, but not be made dysphoric or feel frightened, uncomfortable, with non-comformity or anything like that. being boyish, masculine, is what he enjoys, but he's comfortable in it now, doesn't need to prove himself or overperform it. He can explore nonconformity without feeling like his gender or masculinity is at threat, even if it's not his preference outright.

Body-wise, I think it's safe to say he retains Kamukura's muscle and all, but Kamukura didn't put much effort into the everyday machinations of being a human being in general, and Hinata is much more fond of food than him now, eats more often, and I enjoy the idea that he gains a little pudge and has a kind of "dad bod" almost, post-DR3? lol.

Both for Hinata and Kamukura I don't see their bodies as “bara” or overly buff, masculine, but a kind of comfortable middle ground between twunk and hunk, lmao. I think they're also averagely hairy, not overly so, very lightly. kind of well groomed, and all. Hinata, pre-despair, put not so much effort into his appearance but still some, especially in trying to pass. (In fact I think his hair cut looks like a home job, all choppy and stuff, which fits him in my opinion, something done by his own hands even if messy and imperfect, he still prefers to be in control of it. also fits the trans headcanon tehe).

Izuru put very little if any effort into himself, only the bare minimum necessary to function, but servant helped him upkeep it to a perfect standard. Hinata, post-dr3 now, finds himself putting you know, an average amount of care into himself and his body, enough to be healthy, but not overly critical and conscious of himself.

Komaeda i have always seen as someone who takes a good deal of care about himself, merely if to alleviate the "disgust" of his appearance and body, by practically preening himself. He is someone who is good at cleaning and seems to appreciate clean and well kept spaces, so I think he would have a similar attitude toward himself. even if he is insecure, and of course, struggles with mental health and may slip at times in his routine in keeping himself well-kept, I think he still maintains an appearance for the most part, at least in his later years (teen to young adult). An argument can be made that he cared less in his adolescence because he had much more apathy about the world, but when he gave himself a purpose with hope and talent, I think he would care for himself a little better, even if his was spiralling mentally.

His hair is always washed, it is just very curly and prone to mess, so it often looks like perpetual bedhead, even when he combs and brushes it. His skin is soft even if a little worn by his tendency for accidents & injury, it's still soft and almost luckily so, and he takes pride in moisturizing and cleaning himself. His skin is a little sickly, still, and I think that despite having blemishes, scars, etc. Komaeda manages to look pretty in a strange way, not conventionally beautiful, but almost ethereal? He's just *pretty*, there's no way to explain it, he is nice to look at even with all his "flaws" and imperfections. Even when he's sickly and bony, even when his cheeks are gaunt or his hands shaky and weak, when his hair is a tangled mess or his clothes are dirty, he's nice to look at in a way that's nonconventional, and it's sort of mesmerizing.

Hinata I think is very average but also in a way that's nice to look at it. He's not ground-breaking hot or conventionally attractive, he has a good body, a nice face, and hair you could play with a little if you wanted. I think what's appealing about him is his normalcy, he's not trying too hard or "gifted" gene wise, but he's just kinda nice to look at, he's enjoyable to be around, an understanding person, or at least tries to be even when he fails, and despite having flaws, insecurities, blunt, he is someone you're drawn to because he's one of those people that's just, easy to talk to? An emotional anchor, almost. The kind of guy everyone kind of knows and has talked to at least once, even if you're not friends with him personally, not because he's cool or popular or anything, but because he's a normal dude who's easy to trust and talk to.

Kamukura, on the other hand, is intimidating, appearance wise and personality wise. he looks, strange, anything but normal, his eyes are red and his hair is this dark cloud that envelops him. His face may still be that plain one Hinata has but faces can be changed by the surrounding attributes as well as expression and such is true for him, with his apathetic and cold expression as well as otherwordly characteristics, he comes off as much more beautiful in a dark way, kind of? In a way that's intimidating or a little daunting, but he's still very beautiful. mesmerizing.

okay, thats my ramble. ty.

#nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #izuru kamukura #komahina #kamukoma #headcanons #my headcanons #kota.txt

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serpenteve · 3 years

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So I ship Darklina, but I actually...don't hate Mal? Sure, he was a dick sometimes (so is the Darkling, in different ways), but he was also like 17 or 18 right? And, to me, he'd changed by Ruin and Rising. He went through a lot of character growth. He's not my favorite character by any means. He's probably one of my least favorite, simply because of how boring he is, and I think him and Alina would have been better off as friends or siblings for a platonic familial type thing. But he's also a teenager. That doesn't give him an excuse for being a dick but I feel like from what I've seen from Darklina stans (and what I myself have done in the past) is we hold him to such a high standard but we excuse everything the Darkling does. Yes, he's the villain, but he's also a love interest, which means he does need to be somewhat held accountable. I love the Darkling, he's my boy, and he makes Mal look like a piece of cardboard in comparison, but if we're able to love a centuries old villain and forgive his mistakes, shouldn't Mal at least get some grace? Heroes are allowed to mess up, especially teenage ones. Hell, when I was 17 I was a wreck. It just feels weird to write off everything a centuries old man does but tear apart everything a teenager does, you know?

But I also understand the Mal hate and I don't expect people to love him (I don't even love him lmao). I just wanted to see if some Darklinas are more open towards Mal because I understand most Darklinas hate his guts (understandably so).

Sorry for the long ask. What are your thoughts on Mal?

I don't think all Darklinas hate Mal but a lot of people who hated a number of things in the books happen to be Darklinas. If you hate the book romance, then you're more likely to criticize other aspects of the storytelling like the plot and writing choices.

I definitely think people's perception of Mal hinges on whether they feel like he redeemed himself in Ruin & Rising and/or whether or not they were exposed to the fandom discourse and reactions surrounding the characters. For example, if you read the Grisha trilogy after seeing people endlessly simp for the Darkling and talk about Mal like he's the Worst Character Ever™️, then probably you will think book!Mal really isn't that bad and people excuse the Darkling's actions despite him like.........destroying an entire town for funsies and terrorizing Alina across the country 😂

The whole Mal vs Darkling debate originally arose out of audience expectations. Mal was presented as a heroic love interest while the Darkling was basically a false romantic lead turned villain who Alina kinda still had the hots for but had to heroically resist lest she become seduced to the dark side. The Darkling wants to control and exploit Alina and will stop at nothing to do so. Therefore, we expect Mal to embody the opposite of this: support Alina in doing what she wants and not treat her like a trophy he's entitled to. Instead, Bardugo---perhaps unintentionally---set the opposite in motion.

I actually really don't mind Mal in Shadow & Bone. Yeah, he was kind of an ass to Alina at parts, but he apologized and helped her get the stag and most of his faults can be overlooked as dumb teenage boy things. The problem arose in Siege & Storm when Mal grew entitled, possessive and emasculated because Alina had this power he did not and Alina had this great destiny that didn't revolve around him. Regardless of what Bardugo intended with this lover's quarrel, many readers interpreted this as Mal wanting Alina to be weak and dependent on him. And now, when readers look back at his more annoying traits in Shadow & Bone that initially didn't bother us that much, it holds more sinister implications. It wasn't that Mal and Alina were drifting apart, it was that Mal doesn't care about Alina until someone else cares about her and then he realizes "oh shit! my biggest fangirl that i took for granted has been taken away and has a life of her own??? unacceptable!!11". This combined with the Grisha being coded as any marginalized group and Mal's bigotry towards Alina and then her ending where she lost her powers so the author could pair her with Mal also left some.................IMPLICATIONS 👀

And listen, it would be one thing if I was the *only* reader who was whining about how Mal's character drives me up the wall......but like literally 3/4 of the fandom hated his ass because Bardugo accidentally made him toxic in a very *familiar* way that the Darkling's toxicity is not---at least for that part of the fandom. And this clash between reader expectations and what was actually on the page is what gave rise to a lot of Mal hate. You mentioned that readers hold Mal to a higher standard than the Darkling and that's true. But it's also because Mal is supposed to be a hero, not a villain. The expectations we had for the Darkling were literally on the floor after he decided to randomly massacre Novokribrisk. Whereas Mal being toxic in exactly the same way a chauvinistic garbage IRL man would be toxic was way too much for some readers and we just ended up shipping Alina with the Darkling out of pure spite. Especially when said villain is saying things like "I've seen what you truly are and I've never turned away? Can he stay the same?" or "He’s otkazat’sya. He can never hope to understand your power, and if he did, he’d only come to fear you."

ALSO, I'm a big believer that the reason the Darklina shippers grew in number is directly because the Darkling and Alina are never in a romantic relationship. The failed and wasted potential was indeed a huge draw, but the fact that we never got to see what their canon relationship would be like allowed us to fantasize about an ideal situation in which the Darkling comes to the error of his ways and learns to treat Alina as an equal. The quotes I mentioned above are up for interpretation. He says he will never turn away and that he would be able to understand Alina's power...........but he also proved that he isn't above using her as a weapon without regard for what she wants. Because we never get to see the Darkling and Alina in a real romantic relationship, we can now choose to interpret that line seriously in fanworks, regardless of whatever the hell Bardugo intended with it.

#viv answers #i could probably write an entire essay on this but i feel like ive rambled long enough lmao #anti mal

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 3 years

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The Voyage So Far: Fishman Island

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

i know i’ve said it before but i really, really love the entirety of reunion arc. it might be short, but there’s just so much fun and joy packed into it after the extremely fraught and upsetting paramount war. there’s something exhilarating about seeing characters who could barely compete on the world stage two years ago not just come back from nigh-obliteration, but come back so much stronger. this is true about fishman island as a whole as well, really, which is the main reason i enjoy it so much.

every time we get to see luffy flex his conqueror’s haki absolutely fills me with delight.

brook’s return to the crew is, i think, the most meaningful of all of them. he knew them for, what, a week or two in-universe prior to the separation at sabaody? and in the two-year interim, he becomes basically an extremely successful rock star known worldwide and selling out stadiums. and yet he doesn’t hesitate a moment to drop all of that, to declare before the world that luffy is alive and will be king, because he might have only known the strawhats for a little while but they saved him, and he’s going to see his dream through to the end with them.

this is possibly my favorite panel in all of one piece. it just makes me so fucking happy to finally see him again!

i’m a big fan of oda’s choice in not revealing his full design until this moment, so that we get to see him finally appear in all his glory the same moment the rest of the world does, just in time for him to explode back into the public consciousness and fuck up sentoumaru’s whole day.

i feel like i might be repeating myself a little with regards to reunion arc, but i don’t really care- it just makes me happy. this spread where luffy finally arrives back at the sunny- look how delighted they all are to see him! look how much they missed him! the strawhats are such a family, even though at this point they’ve just spent far more time apart than they’ve ever spent together, and i just adore them so much.

roger is one of my favorite flashback characters and definitely one of the characters i wonder about the most, and a lot of the thoughts i have about him circle back around to this panel right here. where did he get the hat? why did he give it to shanks? why did he choose to set out to sea who is he-

i think about kuma a lot. for such a minor character his tragedy is immense, and i would really like to know more about him, why he chose to do the things he did, what his relationship with dragon and the other revolutionaries was like- whether there’s any chance he can still be saved.

fishman island is absolutely gorgeously drawn. i’d call it absolutely the prettiest setting in the series until wano, and i think that, like wano, it’s clear oda was waiting to draw it for a very long time. the amount of detail and care put into all of the big establishing shots is really breathtaking.

one of the reason i think fishman island is so fun is because the comparatively lower stakes, combined with how much stronger the strawhats are, means they get to be at their most fully chaotic best. they take ryuuguu palace hostage almost completely unintentionally, off-screen, and then immediately start bickering and making ransom demands. i love them so much.

i love luffy and shirahoshi’s relationship so much- i love how much she trusts him to keep her safe, and i love how easily he does it. i love how he’s brutally honest with her but never really mean and how he encourages her to open up her world and do new things even when it’s scary and dangerous, and lets her take things at her own pace.

i think the sun pirates’ symbol is probably my favorite jolly roger in the series, both because it’s so well-established in the story, all the way back to arlong park, and because it has so much meaning. the shadow of fisher tiger’s life and death is cast over the entire story long before we even know he existed.

the symbolic destruction and replacement of the slave brand with the rising sun is so, so cool, and the knowledge of the reasoning behind the symbol also makes it clear long before its confirmed in-story just how empty hody and his crew are. their versions of the symbol are open, with the silhouette of a decapitated human, because they have no brand to cover.

i care so much about koala and fisher tiger, and the relationship between them as two former slaves and two deeply injured people, and how fisher tiger still manages to muster the strength to be good and gentle to her even after how much humans have hurt him.

i think it’s really a shame that he never got to see who and what she grew up to be as a direct result of his kindness. i think he would’ve been really proud of her.

i’ve always really liked that otohime isn’t perfect. she’s not as flawless as she first appears to be- gets angry and frustrated and even drunk and shouty when her own people won’t listen to her trying to help them, and it makes her feel so much more real. her patience and pacifism feel much more admirable when we’re also shown how hard she fights to keep them up. she works to be good.

one thing i like in one piece is how much value is placed on just the value of knowledge, of writing, of reading and understanding. it’s visible in how one of the rarest powers in the world is the ability to hear the voice of all things, and in the poneglyphs, too.

one of my favorite things about luffy is how he becomes a hero by trying not to be one. he doesn’t care about how people view him, and he never has; he really only cares about his friends and loved ones. it’s just that he’s also an incredibly easy person to befriend, and if those friends need help, then he’ll help them, regardless of the cost. most of the island-saving he does is just positive collateral to luffy’s driving desire for the people he cares about to be safe and happy.

i have always loved strawhat group shots ever since back in east blue when the crew was just three people, and they’ve only gotten more exhilarating as the crew has expanded and full-crew shots have become less common in the new world. it’s always just awesome, seeing them all together and united for a common purpose, whether it’s saving robin in enies lobby or kicking hody’s ass here.

my friend zeph grainjew calls moments like these, where other members of the strawhats deal with a problem so luffy doesn’t have to, ‘honor guard moments’, and i really like them. they’re a display of both the loyalty luffy’s crew has for him and the trust luffy has for them right back.

the thing about shirahoshi is that she’s not a coward. she’s a crybaby and overemotional and extremely skittish (which, for the record, is fully understandable for someone who’s been the subject of constant assassination attempts since she was six), but when it comes down to it, she’s fully ready and willing to let herself get killed by the noah in order to protect her people and her country. she’s so brave.

i sometimes see people complain that the villains of fishman island are flat and boring, as though that’s not the whole point, as though the entire arc isn’t a treatise on the importance of not passing hatred down to children. of course hody and his crew are hollow, they’re the equivalent of malcontented shitty white men who become neo-nazis because it’s easier to blame minorities for their problems.

luffy’s victory over hody itself is nothing. it’s easy, it’s only barely a challenge because they fight in the open water and luffy is a devil fruit user, and in the larger scheme of the one piece world, hody is nobody to even take notice of, no matter how grand his ambitions might be. what’s important isn’t hody’s defeat itself, it’s that the children of fishman island see luffy come when shirahoshi calls, and that at the end of the arc, they all want straw hats of their very own.

this might genuinely be a coincidence, but i’ve always liked that fishman island, an arc all about inheritance and what we pass down to our successors, is when luffy first pulls out red hawk, an attack clearly inspired by ace. inheritance can positive or negative- the negative examples in this arc are obvious, but there are positive ones, too. we can also see it with koala and fisher tiger, or with jinbe and both of the legacies he’s shouldered. it’s up to us what we leave behind.

for all that fishman island isn’t the strongest arc on its own, i do think it has by far one of the strongest endings. it’s an arc all about hurt and loss and how it gets passed down and renewed over generations, and it ends with a return to zero. everything’s not better, but the wound’s been cleaned and bandaged, and now it can finally, finally start to heal.

and into the new world we go! with skies full of fire and oceans full of lightning, looking just like the entrance to hell- and all our crew can’t wait to get there.

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #long post #arc: fishman island #arc: reunion #not japanese

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tea-mew96 · 4 years

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An Analysis of Armada Starscream’s Character Arc

So after reading @baebeyza‘s answer to an ask here, I decided I wanted to make a separate post sharing my view on some of the points made there, mainly the ones taking about Starscream’s character arc. Make sure to read that original post before going through this in order for this anything below to make sense. This is all my personal interpretation btw, so feel free to agree or disagree as much as you want. Also, spoilers for Transformers Armada.

For starters, I’m of the belief that Armada is a mess in regards to writing up until the Unicron Battles act of the show, but Starscream’s arc was arguably one of the better parts of Armada IMO. Plus he’s one of my fave characters in the show. Thus, I’m going to analyze and provide my perspective on some of the things mentioned in the original post.

1.) The fight between Megatron and Starscream in “Rebellion”. If you thought the fight between these two in this episode felt contrived, that’s because in-universe it kinda was. Remember Sideways? He was manipulating both Megatron and Starscream throughout that entire episode in order to get those two to fight to the death. He was successful in getting the fight to happen, but there was no death of one of the bots like he had hoped would happen.

2.) Thrust and Megatron’s plan in “Sacrifice”. It’s true that Starscream had ownership of the Star Saber when the Decepticons finally got it their hands on it. That is, until Megatron had his Minicon Leader-1 trick him into attacking Demolisher with the sword in “Conspiracy”. The end-result was everyone agreeing that only Megatron should be allowed to wield the Star Saber, questioning Starscream’s competence. Ever since then, Megatron was the one in charge of the sword.

So why didn’t he want Starscream to have the sword? Simple: Megatron is an arrogant dick who is afraid of Starscream. Megatron sees Starscream’s confidence as a threat to his status as supreme Decepticon leader, and Starscream challenging him to that fight in “Rebellion” (despite his emotions being manipulated by Sideways in order to do it) is evidence of that fear being somewhat founded in Megatron’s eyes.

As for Thrust, he’s also quite arrogant, thinking of himself as the “best tactician”. Because of his perceived high-intelligence and ability to think of “great strategies”, Thrust believes that he’s better than any other Decepticon…including Starscream. The fact that someone so “below him” has the title of “second in command” doesn’t sit well with Thrust.

Basically, what you end up with are two arrogant people who either don’t like and/or fear Starscream.

The plan that Thrust makes is aimed to retrieve the Requiem Blaster, a powerful weapon which is currently back at the Autobot base. If they want a chance of breaking in, they’re going to have to lure as many Autobots as they can out of the base. In other words, they need a distraction. And because of their combined distaste for Starscream, Megatron and Thrust decide that he is the one that should be the distraction. I’m also guessing another reason to keep him in the dark was to keep the reaction as convincing to the Autobots as possible; sometimes being informed on the twist causes a less-convincing performance, and a convincing disguise was an important thing the plan needed in order for it to work. Thrust does imply that Megatron would have to give up the Star Saber for a time in order to ensure the retrival of the Requiem Blaster, which Megatron agrees to. Starscream only got the Star Saber in this situation because of that little tradeoff to make the plan work: distract the Autobots with the opportunity of getting the Star Saber back while the Decepticons invaded their base and grabbed the Requiem Blaster. And the mission does end up being a success.

This plan was definitely a gamble, as they could’ve easily lost the Star Saber and the chance to grab the Requiem Blaster, but it was one that worked in their favor, so all’s well that ends well. Who cares how Starscream feels about not being informed? Megatron and Thrust sure didn’t.

3.) Starscream, Alexis, and Sympathy

I’m also going to argue that while the messy writing can make it difficult to feel bad for Starscream, that doesn’t mean the potential to isn’t there. I personally have a lot of sympathy for him, even if his story wasn’t executed as well as it could’ve.

“Rebellion” and Thrust’s plan in “Sacrifice” are both driving forces for Starscream to join the Autobots, and a justifiable one IMO.

In “Rebellion”, Starscream gets beaten by Megatron for…no reason. Starscream followed Megatron’s orders exactly as he wanted. But because they lost the previous battle and Megatron can’t admit to being wrong, he blames the loss on Starscream anyway. Sideways says in-show that Megatron beating up Starscream for his own loss was absurd. And the abuse only stops when Demolisher blasts his way in and intervenes.

“Sacrifice” only furthers this mistreatment of Starscream, being used as a punching bag for the plan and getting abandoned without being informed about what was going to happen. This combined with the multiple times he’s been belittled by both Megatron and Thrust sends him over the edge, attacking everyone in the base when he gets back and eventually going to the Autobots for refuge and help to get revenge.

When Starscream arrives, the Autobots-especially Hot Shot-are reluctant to have a Decepticon join the folds so little after their dear friend Smokescreen almost dying by their hand. Hot Shot in particular is still hurt over Sideways’ betrayal. I’d argue those facts make for valid and understandable concerns, even if it results in some drama.

Regardless of their hesitance, almost everyone knows and agrees that having Starscream go back to the Decepticon base after attacking everyone there wasn’t going to end well for him. Thus, Optimus orders that they will let Starscream join their ranks (he’s a good dad).

Alexis was one of the first to suggest that Starscream join, and one of the first to attempt to get him to open up to cooperation with the team, probably because she saw potential in having him as an ally like Optimus did. Towards the end of the episode “Mars”, Alexis congratulates Starscream on a job well-done with getting the Minicon Firebot to join their side (praise ain’t something Starscream receives a lot of). Starscream scoffs and says he’s only on their side to defeat Megatron, but he leaves behind a moon rock, something that the kids had asked Jetfire and Starscream for earlier before going on a mission to Mars. I agree with Alexis in her conclusion that this is evidence of Starscream starting to change for the better. In the next episode “Crack”, the kids award Starscream for his nice gift by throwing him a surprise party and gifting him a chamois. What stands out to me about this scene is that Starscream has no idea how to react. He’s confused because he’s not used to receiving many positive words of praise from his former Decepticon peers, much less a present.

He does push away help and positivity from the Autobots and the kids (to unintentionally hilarious degrees at times), but I think that’s partly due to the kind of impact his experiences with Megatron have had on his mind. He wants approval and acceptance, but once he starts getting it he rejects it. This is merely speculation from a psychological perspective, but I think Starscream has a hard time getting used to receiving kindness because whether consciously or subconsciously, he doesn’t believe he deserves it. The belittlement and mistreatment by Megatron has made him believe otherwise, and/or that every positive acknowledgement received always comes with a catch later on.

Yes, Starscream does return to the Decepticon fold later in “Crack” when Thrust convinces him that he has a better chance to get revenge on Megatron by coming back and conspiring with Thrust. But his short time with the Autobots and kids did impact him. He was extremely hesitant to fire the Hydra Cannon at Earth in “Threaten” and “Crisis” (even though he fires the cannon anyway after said hesitation), regretted the death of Optimus in “Remorse”, saved the kids from being killed by the Requiem Blaster (now in the hands of Thrust) in “Drift”, and stays behind to help Alexis retrieve her necklace safely (made from the moon rock Starscream gave the kids) in “Portent”. Starscream shows even after leaving that he has started to learn a little bit about compassion.

During the show, Starscream becomes a person who isn’t quite sure whom he should side with, as his personal goals contradict the overall goals of both sides. And how does his story end? He gets killed by Unicron, trying to convince Megatron (technically Galvatron now, but whatever) that Unicron is a real threat and that he needs to ally with Optimus and his team to defeat him. And his final words? Telling Megatron that he was a dick to him and that Optimus treated him better in that short time period than Megatron ever did.

Look, I get it. Armada’s a mess of storytelling. I wish there was more build up to Starscream defecting to the Autobots and coming back to the Decepticon fold. But we still got a pretty descent arc in the end, even if it could’ve been done better. I can’t make anyone feel sympathy for Starscream, but I refuse to deny that his story didn’t impact me or many others.

Starscream’s arc to me is the story of an abused bot trying to find his place in the world and not truly finding it in the end. It’s the story of a bot who dedicated every fiber of his being to serving his leader and getting nothing but shit in return. I feel bad for Starscream; he deserved so, so much better than what he got.

The thing about that chamois scene is that it had a longer impact on Starscream than the episode initially implied, as I mentioned in the examples above. I’m sure exchanging of gifts probably won’t mean much to someone who is used to getting and giving them. But to a bot who’s been abused by Megatron like Starscream was? That’s a fucking revelation. That’s new. That challenges his viewpoint of the world around him. If it didn’t, he wouldn’t have had second thoughts about firing the Hydra Cannon. He wouldn’t of saved the kids, he wouldn’t have helped Alexis with the necklace. He wouldn’t of helped Optimus convince Megatron to join forces and defeat Unicron.

Alexis was a firm believer that Starscream could be a better person and by extension get onto a path of recovery by showing him small acts of compassion and kindness at a time and celebrating those small victories of improvement. She wanted to be his friend because she recognized the potential he had. She recognized that Starscream needed support, needed a friend, deserved respect. That’s something he never got much of if any during his times as a Decepticon.

TL;DR Starscream’s character arc in Armada ain’t perfect but it’s still one of the best stories in the show that can impact you and I will forever stan him.

#tf critical #tf analysis #transformers armada #unicron trilogy #starscream

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gregtroyan · 3 years

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Radiant Epoch: Chapter 2 - Lyra

All the truly enjoyable things in the world came in two kinds. One kind had only a finite lifespan. With things of this kind, there was a moment one could look back on when they first clearly understood that it contained a whole new world of delights just waiting to be explored.

But with that realization came the silent promise that, if one devoted enough time to it, sooner or later, there would be nothing left of it to explore. And finally, the day would come when it no longer felt like an enjoyable thing at all; and without really thinking much of it, a person would simply cease to pursue it. Ten years ago, Lyra would have unhesitatingly cited her dolls and their imagined adventures as one of the more enjoyable things she knew of. The rather impressive doll collection she boasted as a child was just one of many ways in which her life had been enriched by her family’s vocation as retail merchants, which made novel items imported from far-flung regions of the Hafen Empire and beyond a common sight in her house.

The Lyra of today could not recall when playing with dolls had stopped being an enjoyable for her, but she knew it had been many years since she’d felt the urge to do it, and that, at some point, she began to find it more enjoyable by far to see a little girl’s face light up when told that one of Lyra’s childhood toys was hers to keep forever. Incidentally, indulging this more recently discovered pleasure had ultimately whittled her once-prized assemblage down to a single member: a very unusual artifact of the now badly endangered traditional culture of the Anhelos Archipelago, which had managed to stay on as one of her possessions after losing its value as a plaything by becoming instead an evocative symbol of yet another of her enjoyable things, that being a growing earnestness to learn as much as possible about the world she lived in (an interest of hers which no doubt had its roots in her father’s habit of providing his young daughter not only with unique toys, but also with tales of the faraway lands from which they came).

Things of the second kind were a bit more mysterious to Lyra. They had no clear origin, and the way they felt never seemed to change. It was as though people had just been designed to love certain things. Seeing the world slowly flood with light before a sunrise. The feeling of cool air early in the morning. The melodic chirping of the birds who lived in the mountains surrounding Paach as they took to the skies in anticipation of the sunrise. How clear the sound of running water was at the canal while most of her neighbors still slept, or the way the soil in her family’s garden smelled after she watered it.

Lyra had no idea why any of these things which embellished her mornings made her happy, or how she could feel so certain they always would. Perhaps giving toys to children was another pleasure which, once discovered, would never fade. She had seen no evidence in her seventeen years that adults ever got tired of doing that no matter how old they grew.

Such were the thoughts drifting aimlessly through Lyra’s mind this morning as she lay motionless in her bed, not quite sure she had really woken up just yet, or whether a minute or an hour had passed since possibility of getting out of her bed had first occurred to her.

As the first calls of the birds she had just been thinking of reached her ears, she snapped her eyes open and finally acquiesced to wakefulness, rolling out of bed and making for the chemise she had placed on her dresser last night all in one motion. After donning the garment, she felt around for another item she knew to be on her dresser, and soon found it: a small cylinder, with a tiny hole bored into one of its bases. She placed her finger into the hole for a moment. A faint humming could be heard coming from the object, and then suddenly her room was bathed in a soft red light.

Talises were by now a rare sight in most parts of the Hafen Empire. Most kinds had been banned, recalled, and destroyed within a year of the technology’s debut, after the horrific effects they had on the body became tragically apparent. All that was now left of the promise of a vastly improved world which had been fleetingly attached to these items when Lyra was a little girl were a few trinkets offering mild convenience such as the one she now held, which had been allowed to remain in legal circulation because they supposedly used too little magic to cause any harm.

Most people remained extremely wary of them regardless. In Paach, only a handful of eccentrics owned even a single talis. Lyra’s family owned several, and she had recently started keeping this one in her bedroom as an aid to her morning routine, since at this time of year, it was almost always still dark out when she first woke up. To date, she had felt no ill effect from using it. Her father had even said that “everyone” in the city of Hafen still used talises for lighting at night, and he had brought most of the ones they owned back after one of his annual trips to the capital.

The thought had crossed Lyra’s mind before that, given her father’s obsessions with the latest things to come from Hafen, she and her family probably would have been among the first to die of magic sickness in Paach if their business had been as active as it was now when talises had first been available.

Lyra set her talis back down on the dresser, and, with the help of its light, stepped in front of her mirror and reluctantly began putting on the rest of the outfit she had laid out the night before: a long white skirt adorned with colorful foliate embroidery, and a very billowy coat cinched to the wearer’s body by drawstrings. Her father had procured these for her just a few weeks ago during his most recent stay in Hafen, and had presented them to her with the utmost assurance that they were highly fashionable among young women in Hafen these days.

There was probably no human girl in Paach who owned as much “fashionable” clothing as Lyra. There were probably also few who would have cared to less. By now, her parents had to have known that Lyra was not one to be impressed by whatever strangers living hundreds of miles away found fashionable, but every time they presented something like this to her, they talked on and on about it as though this was the one that would finally make their daughter understand.

Admittedly, Lyra had been slightly more interested in gifts of ornate clothing when she was younger, but as she grew older, she realized that in a town like Paach, “being fashionable” just meant sticking out everywhere you went, stirring up jealousy in the other girls and even some married women in her fairly well-to-do neighborhood, and getting nasty glares from cordillans or any human to whom Hafen culture was still anathema (which, in Paach, was a lot of humans).

Around the same time she had wised up about wearing high-quality imported clothing about town, she also realized that these clothes had always been more for her parents than for her anyway. What better way to showcase their shop’s access to the finest merchandise coming in from Hafen than by displaying it on the person of their lovely daughter? That, and her father liked to be surrounded by anything that might let him imagine he was but a temporarily displaced member of the Hafen bourgeoisie, and not a man born and raised in Paach as he actually was.

Lyra let out a sigh as she finished tying off the cords on her coat. She would be minding the store alone in the morning as her parents attended to some business elsewhere in town, so she had no choice but to assume her role of living advertisement today, at least until they returned. She was already looking forward to stripping these off later in the day and changing into the simple but pretty blue kirtle Tyce had bought for her a few days ago.

“Tyce….” Lyra muttered softly as she turned away from the mirror.

A month ago, that had been just a name to her. The name of one of her best friends in this world, sure, but saying it aloud had really felt no different than saying anybody else’s name. Now, it had become a charm that could make her feel just a little bit happy every time she said it. It seemed like the kind of charm that should wear off after a few uses, but somehow it never did.

Tyce and Lyra had begun dating just a little under a month ago, following an unintentionally romantic evening under the stars. Looking back on it, Lyra was still unable to explain how she’d acted that night. Truthfully, she had felt strange even before Tyce had arrived, like the night was just uncontrollably different, but not for any reason she could pin down. And then out-of-the-ordinary things started happening one after the other. Tyce showed up on time. Geneon did not show up at all, leaving the two of them alone. A perfectly normal and innocent chat somehow immediately brought out her long un-confided dread of a seemingly unavoidable future playing out a scripted life in Paach.

By the time they’d set off for the cave, Lyra had been awash with far more conflicting emotions than she’d been prepared to grapple with on what was supposed to have been nothing more than yet another carefree and relaxing time with her friends. She had been angry at herself for letting herself get so vulnerable for no real reason, angry at Tyce for his ineptitude at handling her vulnerability, angry at herself for being unreasonably angry with Tyce, upset that her tried and true mental routines for reigning in her anxiousness around other people were for the first time she could remember simply not working, and desperately searching for a way to shove all of it aside and just have a fun night — all while her worries about the future seemed far more crushingly valid after having finally been heard by someone else.

But she had also been deeply appreciative, to her own surprise, of Tyce’s unyielding efforts to comfort her in spite of his ineptitude. And when he had hugged her by the waterfall, she had suddenly become irrepressibly cognizant of the fact that she was alone in a beautiful place with someone who had actually grown to be quite an attractive man, who she trusted, and who cared about her deeply. It was like there was been some other Lyra who’d been taking a nap in the back of her mind for years who had been well aware all along of what that meant, and that simple touch had finally woken her up; after Tyce’s words at the cave, she was ready to take the reins, and somehow knew exactly what to do next.

It had been the sort of rash and inexplicable action that Lyra had always believed generally led to no good, but so far, she wasn’t complaining about the results. In fact, just about everything since then when it came to Tyce felt totally new and inexplicable to her. It had become clear to her very quickly that the lexicon she’d been given for understanding it all fell far short of the task. Words like “love”, “passion”, “heartache”, or “lust” seemed hopelessly clumsy in practice for navigating romance. It was like people had just given up on coming up with new names for anything once they got to this part of life.

As Lyra headed downstairs, she laughed as remembered what she’d been thinking about in bed a few minutes ago, and wondered which of the two kinds love was. If she thought about it, it had to be closer to the second kind, but overall, her theory of the good things in life now felt like a much less profound epiphany than it had when she was half asleep.

Shelving the whole idea for some other morning’s idle contemplation, she turned her mind to her plans for the day. Her parents would be out during the morning, and she would be minding the store in their absence. After they got back, it was off to her date with Tyce. Troupe Astral had come to Paach, and Tyce was taking her to see their performance. Year by year, Paach was become more open and integrated into the cultural life of the Hafen Empire, but as far as Lyra knew, getting to see a show like this was a first for the people of the town. She was excited for it, and the fact that they showed up so soon after she and Tyce had begun dating somehow made it feel like the whole thing had been specially timed just for them. Lyra had no doubt that this was a day she would remember for the rest of her life. It was hard to believe that after her date, she had something even more important to do.

Before meeting up with Tyce, she was going to see Geneon.

The one and only problem in Tyce and Lyras’ new relationship was what to do about Geneon. A month ago, Geneon and Tyce had more or less shared the same place in Lyra’s heart. The trio had been best friends for long time now, and tended to spend as much of their downtime together as possible. In fact, as far as Lyra was concerned, the two of them were at this point her only friends, or at least her only real ones. Now, though, all of that was in danger of becoming a thing of the past.

It wasn’t just that Tyce and Lyras’ relationship had changed. Of course they were going to want to spend more time with only each other’s company. That probably would have been a bad enough strain on their friendships with Geneon, but it was something that could have been gotten through with time. From what Lyra had seen of other people’s relationships, the whirlwind of mutual infatuation in which she and Tyce had found themselves helplessly caught these past weeks was probably not destined to remain so overpowering forever.

No, the real problem was the huge fight they’d had when Tyce and Lyra had finally worked up the courage to tell him about “them”. It had been the kind of fight where nobody involved was sure whether they were ever speaking again afterward.

Lyra mostly blamed herself for what had happened. First, they should have told him right away rather than waiting so long. Although in fairness, it wasn’t like they were keeping it a secret from him specifically. Tyce’s mother was the only person who heard before Geneon, and that was only because Tyce had just blurted out the truth like it was no big deal when his mom asked how his night went the morning after their first kiss. For her part, that night had left Lyra’s mind spinning. It was only after seeing Tyce again and talking about it all that she finally came to the conclusion, “This person is now my boyfriend,” and the change was so dramatic and hard to believe that she felt like she needed time before telling Geneon, let alone her own parents.

That said, she had only wanted that time to come to terms with her own feelings. As soon as “being in love with Tyce” felt safely like her new normal, she was ready to announce it to the world. She had rehearsed any number of ways the conversation might go with her parents, and was fully prepared to withstand any resistance to her relationship they might put up.

But somehow, she’d given no real thought to how the talk with Geneon would go. Partly that was because, unlike the talk with her parents, Tyce would be there, too, and it wasn’t like she could just write him a script and tell him to stick to it. Not like they should need some plan of action just to talk to their best friend anyway. What was there to do but explain things and assure Geneon he meant no less to them now than he had before?

Suffice to say it had not gone well. If she was being honest, Lyra had noticed long ago that Geneon probably had feelings of his own for her. It was something toward which she had always feigned obliviousness. He’d never confessed his love for her, after all. How could he? A cordillan orphan, and a human daughter of what passed for high society in their town? It was tragically unfair, but that wasn’t going to be an easy life to make work. Besides, in all those years since she’d first started to wonder if he felt that way, “love” for Lyra had always been something for the future — ideally with a mature, intelligent, and well-organized man from somewhere other than Paach who she was sure to fatefully encounter through her family’s business one of these day. For as long as that had remained true, it was easy to just not think about love at all.

Lyra’s big mistake that day had been assuming, without even noticing she was assuming it, that, because Geneon had not acted on his feelings for her, that meant they weren’t every bit as powerful and turbulent as what she and Tyce now felt for each other. She had frankly expected him to accept the situation, be at least a little happy for them, and soon put to rest whatever feelings he might have had for her before she started dating Tyce. Put simply, she was so wrapped up in her feelings for Tyce that she hadn’t even considered that she would need to take how Geneon felt seriously at all.

It would be the easiest thing in the world to leave things as they were. No one else in Tyce and Lyras’ lives had ever been particularly happy about their longstanding friendship with a cordillan, and it would come as a relief to them if Geneon was out of the picture for good. The one exception to this was Tyce’s mother, Ellen. As a widow who ran her own smithy and casually treated cordillans like humans without finding it unusual, she had long been regarded as an oddball (albeit, owing to the necessity of her labor and her seemingly boundless generosity toward others, a well-liked one).

As for Tyce himself, he was being irritatingly stubborn about the whole thing. It was clear he was still angry with Geneon, and every time he came up in conversation, Tyce would hear nothing of going to see him together, and would just say that Geneon would come around when he was ready. But Lyra knew that might never happen. People had been begrudgingly tolerant of their relationship with Geneon when they were children, but they were getting less so with each passing year. It wasn’t like Geneon didn’t face criticism for getting friendly with humans, either, and given his unenviable lot in life, people not liking the way he did things wasn’t just something he could brush off and go about his business the way Lyra and Tyce did. All of the pressures in their lives were for their friendship to dissolve, and their feelings for each other were the only thing standing against them. It just wasn’t a fight Geneon could be expected to make on his own.

The most frightening moment for Lyra had come last night as she was coming home after finalizing her plans for today with Tyce. She was buzzing with excitement in anticipation of their next date, and at some point, the situation with Geneon had crossed her mind. It had only been for an instant, but the thought had popped up loud and clear, Things change. We’re going to be full-fledged adults soon, and then there’ll be no time for playing around outside of town anyway. Maybe it’s fine this way.

After expressing reflexive disgust at that thought and stamping it right back down, Lyra suddenly realized that maybe this was how most of the adults she knew became so self-absorbed and unconcerned about others. She vowed then and there that she would never become the kind of person who could just say, “It’s sad, but that’s life,” about a dear friend she’d grown up with just because she’d found some happiness for herself. She would go confront Geneon the very next minute she had the chance to, and today, she was going to have about three hours free between her parents’ return from their errands and her meetup with Tyce. Lyra was determined to save their friendship and wasn't going to give up on him.

#RadiantEpoch JRPG Novel Novelization Webnovel Webstory OriginalStory OriginalContent Fantasy SciFi Teenager Teenage Love Drama

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dreamlanddoll · 4 years

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Ooohhh yes, I’ve got you @omgselinabeckendorf !

Dad!Cedric Headcanons

Cedric never really thought about fatherhood throughout his life, perhaps on the occasion his mother would tease him about when he might give her grandchildren, to which he’d respond;

“Oh, isn’t Calista enough?!”

clearly not

but he just never thought that being a dad was something he’d ever get to do... until he met you of course

the day you two had your first child, Cedric swore he’d be the best father he could be. He nearly cried looking into his own child’s eyes for the first time.

obviously Winifred and Goodwyn are thrilled their son finally got around to giving them grandbabies. Winifred will spoil them like you’ve never seen a grandma spoil her grandchildren before.

and Calista is ecstatic to have a new cousin to hang out with! though she might be a little older than they are

you would have two kids, one boy, your oldest, and one girl.

Cedric’s a little afraid he might end up making the same mistakes his father did with him, so that pushes him to be an incredibly doting parent

perhaps a bit too doting sometimes

you might have to lay down the law if Cedric is letting the kids off too easily for their mistakes

“But just look at their little faces :(”

“Yeah, the faces of a couple of thieves. Put the sweets back.”

Cedric would also often be the target of all their shenanigans, no matter the age they’re at. They may be his kids but they are not blind to the plain old fact that Cedric is a man made for being the comic relief of a situation

and a huge dork

the time their father accidentally stepped into their trap to catch Santa Claus one Wassalia evening is a whole other story

despite all this, Cedric n e v e r and I mean never yells at his kids. His father yelled at him one too many times in his childhood that he’d feel like the worst person ever if he dared raise his voice at his own children

that doesn’t mean you’re not afraid to raise yours though

the kids usually listen to you for authority, but you’re the one that takes them out to do all the fun stuff.

Cedric is very much the anxious parent

“Remember to bring a jacket!”

“Dad, it’s like a hundred degrees outside!”

“You never know when it’s going to get cold!”

Cedric’s prides himself on your guys’s son, who is 2 years older than your daughter. It was quickly decided that he’d be the next Royal Sorcerer of Enchancia, and he’d learn magic along side his little sister.

your son has Cedric’s eyes, ears, and his pale skin. He has your face shape, and any birthmarks or freckles you might have. His nose is a perfect mixture of the two of yours. As well as his hair, though it is light in the front and dark in the rest, just like his father’s.

he’s very ambitious, always ready to learn and a big go-getter. Though he has trouble planning ahead like his father. He’s incredibly clumsy, kind, compassionate, and a bit of a worrier. Very much a rule-follower, and easily frightened. But he has a huge heart.

your daughter is the most precious thing to you and Cedric, but grows increasingly rambunctious and rebellious each year she grows

she has your smile, your eyes, and your hair colour. She has her father’s height, his arms which may look scrawny for him but fit your daughter gracefully, and his hands. Her face shape is a perfect combination of the both of yours, and her nose is like her brothers, only a little slimmer.

your daughter is free to do whatever she wishes with her future, though Cedric would love it if both his children took up sorcery in their careers.

she’s very stand off-ish, doesn't like to talk to people much (just like her dad), stubborn, and can even come off as rude sometimes. She’s sarcastic and tough, but has an extremely soft spot for her brother and would do anything for him, and vice versa. She punches him in the arm to show affection, uncomfortable with saying things like “I love you” or “you mean a lot to me.”

when the children are little, about 2 and 4, Cedric would conjure magical holograms of almost anything; birds, ships, dragons, you name it; in order to teach your youngings about the many wonders the world had to offer for them. This was before they were old enough for schooling, of course.

excitement would dazzle in your baby boys’ eyes whenever he saw a magical, sparkling dragon swoosh overhead, a smile never leaving his face

your daughter would stare up in awe, not sure whether to be scared or intrigued, but she was only 2, and stayed quiet

Cedric takes time to help you raise the kids, they are his too after all, and he wants you to know that you’re in this together. That he loves your children just as much as you do, and as much as he loves you

Cedric likes to dance around the workshop with his daughter while enchanted music plays, he has to bend down quite a bit to reach her tiny little hands, it’s a truly precious sight <3 Before she was 4 she had to stand on his feet and Cedric would just move for the both of them, but after that she could stand, dance and twirl just fine on her own.

Cedric also likes to read spellbooks aloud to his son, even if he can’t understand them yet, he’ll have your son in his lap and a giant book in hand titled “The Joy of Sorcery” open in front of them before bedtime and read what he can before the little one has to go to sleep

whenever you’re putting the kids to bed, you sing sweetly to put them to sleep, lulling them into a gentle and secure bed before kissing their foreheads and blowing out the candle on their bedside

Cedric loves to lean by the doorway and listen and watch when he gets the chance, reviling in such a tender moment he didn’t think he’d ever have the privilege to

his wonderful wife singing their two perfect children to sleep? a dream come true that he didn’t know he even had until now

when your son turns around 6 or 7, ready to start going to Hexley Hall, Cedric figures he’s now also old enough for him to show your little boy around the workshop, letting him view all the potions and spellbooks and magical ingredients he liked

your daughter is still very young, 4 now, and doesn’t know much other than she loves shiny rocks, frog-hunting, and playing in the mud

she even tried putting together various outdoor objects; dirt, rocks, worms, sticks, leaves and flowers into a small pot to make a ‘potion’

it wasn’t really a working potion, but Cedric couldn’t be more proud. He pat his daughter’s head and told her what a great job she did, telling her to hold onto that for the rest of her life

“okay dad!” She beamed, running off to her room to place the pot on her nightstand.

years later when she forgot she even had it, Cedric made sure to put it into a small jar for safe keeping, putting it with all the other remains from his children’s childhoods he kept on a special, magically locked shelf

Cedric wants to keep almost everything that the kids made, played with, or lost because he can’t find it in his heart to just throw anything away

You have to convince him to get rid of a few things... and perhaps little by little throw out some items without him noticing

it’s for his own good damn it

when they’re a little older, about 16 and 14, their personalities and interests really start to shine through

your son is dead-set on being the next Royal Sorcerer, and loves every second of his potion making, spell casting, and alchemy studying

Cedric always feels his heart swell with pride whenever his son says how excited he is to take after him, and that he wont leave one spell un-perfected

though Cedric makes it a point to remind him that it’s okay to not be perfect all the time

“Now son, I’m going to tell you something my father always told me when I was your age. Slow and steady does the trick.”

“...Is that like a metaphor for something?”

“N-no, it just means that you must be easy on yourself if you don’t get things right the first few tries. Or even the 30th! You must be patient with yourself.”

“Ooohhhhh... thanks dad!”

your daughter on the other hand is well on her way to becoming the first female Jr. Knight of Enchancia. And one day, Captain!

of course Cedric doesn’t know a whole lot about being a knight, but he supports his daughter regardless, though he may unintentionally put more energy into his son’s activities

somewhat reasonably so, and it’s not like he means to. He loves both his children equally and dearly, but the amount of attention he puts on his son verses his daughter can be disheartening for her at times, not like she’d ever show it

You and Cedric do catch on though, and decide to talk with her about it

she refuses at first, but slowly eases into this whole ‘talking through your feelings’ thing

Cedric brings out the potion she made when she was 4, showing it to her and telling her how proud he was. Even though it didn’t do anything, it meant everything to him because it was her’s

your daughter tears up a little, trying to hide her crying by jumping in to hug her dad, burying her face in his shoulder.

“I love you, dad.”

“I love you too, (y/d/n).”

you son asks what was going on, you tell him not to worry about it and help you prepare for dinner.

“Doesn’t dad usually make dinner?”

“I’m making something special tonight, your father’s busy.” you smile, nodding to your daughter’s room

your son took the hint, knowing something really serious must’ve been going on and went to help you with dinner

he decides to approach his sister after dinner, and she gives him a brief summary of how she felt and what happened

“Whoa... I had no idea that dad and I made you feel like that. I’m so sorry-”

“It’s alright, you didn’t even know. I’m just... I’m just happy you’re my brother.”

they share a rare hug, and decide to play some competitive checkers

#im so tired #thank you for this request ive been dying to get these out #im so proud #sofia the first #sofia the fandom #cedric the sorcerer #cedric the sorcerer x reader #cedric the sensational #cedric the sensational x reader #sofia the first headcanons #cedric the sorcerer headcanons

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fullmetalscullyy · 5 years

Text

hit and run - chapter 9

summary: Riza Hawkeye is a thief who is trying to get by in Victorian Central. Hard times fell on her family, tuberculosis claiming her mother and then her father when she was a teenager. Now, femme fatale Riza steals to put food on the table for herself, her canine companion - an abandoned puppy who just won’t leave her alone - and two brothers with circumstances similar to her own. However, dipping her hands into the pockets of the rich and famous is always a dangerous game.

rated: m | words: 5101

title: “hit and run” by lolo

read on ao3 and ffnet

"Where would you like to start, Miss Riza?" the Madame asked. Her posture was non-threatening. It was open and casual as she propped her elbows on her desk, clasping her hands together in front of her.

Riza didn't know. She didn't know where she wanted to start. Everything had been turned upside down in her life in the last week and Riza was still trying to recover from it, come to grips with these new circumstances she'd been unwillingly shoved into.

In addition to that, Riza felt terrified about this uncertain new future. Everything she'd tried to keep under wraps was suddenly at risk of being out in the open because somehow, this woman before her knew her last name. Riza hadn't told anyone her last name since her parents passed. Now, her future was unstable and that had never sat well with Riza. Before that damned ball, she was in complete control of everything. Now, this woman held a part of Riza's life in her hands, and that was a terrifying thought.

This meeting with Madame Christmas had been a long time coming. To Riza, the woman had put her through hell, and she was still angry with her about that. She'd given Riza a task and drawn her roughly up short when she'd done nothing wrong. All this talk about "not messing with her family" when Riza had done no such thing. Then, the Madame had faked an attack on Riza, just to see how she would react? To see if she could handle this life? Riza felt her blood boil underneath her skin. She'd been in this life for almost a decade. She didn't need someone like the Madame to determine whether she was suited for it or not. She was already more than experienced. Whiplash then occurred when Madame Christmas called her goons off and apologised before refusing to tell Riza what the hell had just happened.

It was safe to say she was still angry.

"Who asked you to look out for me?" Riza led with, opting to go with something more civil. Yelling and shouting would get her nowhere. Anger was not useful here, and she wanted answers. This may be her only opportunity to get them. Not to mention the fact that question had been bothering her for days. She was desperate to know. She could think of no one who would request that. The concept of having someone looking out for Riza was foreign since her parent's death. She was genuinely curious.

"An old friend of mine contacted me about eight or so years ago - shortly after your parent's death. He asked me to look out for you, should we cross paths."

"But you didn't. I wouldn't exactly call what you did looking out for me."

"True, but understand I run my own organisation here, and play by my own rules. It was no different from what any of the other people in here had to do."

"Except your son, right?" Riza challenged. "Because his life is more valuable than mine?"

"To me, yes," she fired right back, expression unapologetic.

"So, you feed me to the psychopathic murderer instead?"

"Miss Riza, I knew you were more than capable of handling in it. You have a good team with you - including one of my own. I knew you would be able to deal with it."

"Regardless, you still put one of your supposed family members in the clutches of one of the most dangerous men in the city. Even when asked to look out for me by some mysterious benefactor."

"Like I said, I knew you could handle it."

Riza huffed quietly in frustration. She knew she could handle the Kimblee situation. She might have gotten a little beaten up, but she still handled it and was successful. However, she would get no further with this argument, that much she knew.

"This person who approached you, who was it?"

The Madame eyed her as she spoke, gauging her reaction. "A man called Walter Grumman. Does that name mean anything to you?"

Oh, it did. It meant a lot. But why would her estranged grandfather ask someone like Madame Christmas to look out for her, should they cross paths, when he'd kicked her mother out of their family home in the first place? Riza had been too young to understand whatever had been going on between her parents and her grandfather, but at the age of ten she’d managed to pick up enough. She'd heard the arguments late at night when she was supposed to be sleeping and understood that when her mother came into her room after midnight to quickly pack her belongings and bundle a tired Riza out of bed, it meant bad news.

She hadn't seen or heard from her grandfather since. So, why? Why the concern? Riza was curious once again.

"What did he say to you?" Riza asked carefully. She didn't want to give too much away - the fact she was so confused about why her grandfather had asked the Madame to look out for her. Another question popped into her head at that moment too - just how did her grandfather know the Madame? From what Riza remembered he was high up in society and didn't strike her as the type to associate himself with the Underworld.

"Just that he'd overhead his daughter and son-in-law had passed away - tuberculosis, an awful illness, I'm sorry for your loss." Riza stiffened, as was always the case when someone mentioned her parent’s death. Not many knew, and those who did were close enough to know not to bring it up. "And he was searching for his lost granddaughter." Searching for her? "He asked me as a favour from a friend to keep an ear out, should I find you."

"And have you passed my location on?"

The Madame shook her head. "I wanted to have a conversation with you first. Then, you will decide the course of action. In my position, I hear a lot of what goes on in the city." She shot Riza a pointed look, enough to make her stomach tense at the thought the Madame knew more about Riza than she wanted her to. "It's completely your decision."

"I... I appreciate that." She really did. "Thank you." She felt her body relax slightly. Well, relax as much as it could when in the presence of a woman who Riza thought had tried to kill her.

"It's none of my business, however, unfortunately, I unintentionally learn things most would rather keep hidden. Was there anything else you would like to ask?"

"Did you know my parents?"

"I knew of them. I never got the pleasure to know them personally. However, I heard nothing but good things. And, I knew they were very proud of you." That stirred something inside of Riza, and there was a swell of emotion in her chest, threatening to break forth and bring tears to her eyes.

Blinking away the sensation furiously, Riza mumbled her thanks once again.

Her anger had dissipated slightly. It was still there - she was still angry at how the situation had been handled - however the Madame had shown a different side to herself today and now Riza wasn't sure what to make of her. She didn't trust her. Not in the slightest. Madame Christmas had given her no reason too. However, a part of Riza's mind wanted her to respect the Madame a little, especially after her comment about not revealing information Riza would rather keep hidden. She'd given Riza back control of her life. She'd ripped that control away roughly in the first place, but Riza could understand and appreciate the need to protect family.

It was unfair, but to be perfectly honest, when it came down to it, Riza would do the same to protect Edward and Alphonse. She would do anything to keep them safe.

This whole conversation was leaving her reeling, her mind tearing her in different directions as it told her not to trust the Madame without proof, to accept her help and reconnect with her last remaining blood relation, and to be angry at Christmas for what she'd done, for the threat she's implied upon the boys. It was exhausting.

Speaking of...

"I have another question for you."

"Okay, go ahead."

"Why did you threaten the two children I lived with?" She couldn't help but let a bit of her anger seep into her tone. "What had they ever done to warrant a threat from you?"

"I know the right motivation can manipulate people in the correct direction."

"So, threatening the life of two teenagers was the right direction?" Riza spat, feeling that familiar anger seep into her tone, burning in her chest.

"I'm no monster, Miss Riza. I would never harm children. However, in this game some people need the right push." Before Riza could open her mouth to argue, she continued. "I don't blame you thinking of me as a monster. I know what I've implied, I know my own actions. You would be smart to think of me that way. However, it was also an experiment. One thing in this life you can bet on is that I would never bring harm to a child. Whether you believe that or not is another matter. But I would swear that claim on my life."

"What was the experiment then?" Riza asked, spitting out the word like it left a bad taste in her mouth.

"To see just how much you care for those boys. I'm pleased to discover that it's a lot. I'd been keeping my eye on them for a while." Her brow furrowed when she heard Riza scoff at her "keeping an eye" on the boys. Yeah, just like she had with Riza. "Anyway, I'm glad they found someone like you. As a last resort, I would have stepped in myself, but this is no life for a child."

"I agree," Riza replied. "However," she added, feeling slightly guilty. "I feel as though I've brought them into it anyway."

She wasn't sure what had compelled her to admit that piece of information to the Madame. A momentary lapse in judgement, or a sudden feeling of someone who understood just how important it was to Riza to not drag those boys down to her level. Whatever it was, it made Riza stiffen right afterwards, shocked at herself for revealing so much, especially to the Madame.

"I understand. I felt the same way about my Roy. However, you've given them a better life than I could have. Just remember that."

Riza cast her eyes downwards, contemplating her words. She supposed the Madame was right. She dreaded to think of what trial she would have put them through, should they have chosen to join her organisation at the age of twelve and thirteen.

"I have a favour to ask," Riza began uncertainly.

"Anything."

Surprised at her response, Riza recovered by clearing her throat. "It concerns Edward and Alphonse."

"Okay."

"If anything happens to me, I’ve asked Rebecca to take them into her care. That may mean they end up here."

"You want them to be kept apart from it all," the Madame nodded in understanding.

"Yes. They are stubborn and will want to help, but please. I know I said I want them kept apart from this life, but this is probably the safest place for them." Riza met the Madame's gaze evenly. And that was the truth. The woman who owned the Underworld and essentially the city was the best person to protect those two boys, should Riza be unable to any longer.

"I will personally see to it that they are cared for. You have my word, and while that might not mean too much to you right now, I swear on my life it’s the truth."

"Thank you." It was entirely sincere. It felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, despite her feelings towards the Madame. Despite the circumstances of their initial meeting, Riza felt sure that the woman would protect them. If she wasn't entirely trustworthy, then Rebecca wouldn't have joined the organisation in the first place. That thought just occurred to Riza, and if she was being honest with herself, it made her feel better about the situation.

"However," the Madame added with a smirk. Riza felt her stomach tense in anticipation for a sudden and unexpected condition to be put on their deal. "Nothing will happen to you, Miss Riza. You're family now. We look out for our own."

"It didn't appear that way earlier."

"I've explained my reasons. But, obviously, Miss Rebecca has your back. Not to mention my Roy boy seems to have taken a special interest in you."

"Why?" she asked, surprised. That baffled her.

The Madame shrugged. "Beats me. But I didn't tell him to enter The Vaults that night you went to find Mr. Marco. He did it of his own volition." That really surprised Riza. Why would he do that? Why would he watch her back especially after she was so rude to him? "And, from what I've gathered, he keeps doing it." The Madame's smirk widened and Riza decided she didn't like the look of it. It gave the idea that the Madame knew more than she was letting on - and from past experience that was a dangerous game. Plus, there were only two reasons Mustang would look out for her after she pushed her away. One was guilt and one was... Well, that one was completely out. They'd been hostile towards each other. There was no love lost, however Riza's mind suddenly flashed back to the night before after she'd returned from The Vaults, when she shouldn't have been out. She remembered how concerned he’d looked. How he'd demanded where she'd been.

Like he cared.

Another thought flashed in her mind. He’d stayed on the roof of her home to watch out for her family while she was unable to. He’d been injured because of his help, and still offered it to this day.

“You’ll have to ask him his reasons.”

* * *

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Riza asked apprehensively. She’d exited onto her balcony that evening not with the intention of seeking Mustang out, but now that he was here, she thought she may as well get the conversation over with.

The earlier discussion with the Madame had been weighing heavily on her mind all day and she wanted answers. Christmas had given her some, but the rest could only come from Mustang alone.

Rebecca had informed her what had happened the night of the attack on their old house. Mustang had fought to protect them all. He’d gotten the boys to safety and Riza had to thank him for it. She also had to thank him for watching her back that night in The Vaults. She’d initially thought it was some ploy by the Madame to either trip her up or watch her movements, but he’d chosen to do that himself, and Riza wanted to know why.

So, cautiously, she asked if she could have a minute of his time. His head had turned, mildly surprised at the interruption – obviously not expecting one – but then it hardened when his gaze settled on her features.

“Going out for a late-night venture again?” Mustang stated, ignoring her request. “Fine, you have my permission.” The word was spoken as if it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.”

“Good, because regardless of what I say, I know you’ll ignore me.”

That hostility was back again, and, in all fairness, Riza didn’t blame him. His arrogance still irritated her, however after realising how selfish she’d been after speaking to Rebecca the night before, she could understand why he was so snappy with her. It hadn’t been intentional. Riza was just so used to being by herself. It had made her look back on the last few years with the boys to see if she could recall any moments that made her seem selfish but couldn’t remember. However, the nights when she came back to their home bloody and haggard would have made the boys worry no end, while she just brushed it off, not wanting them to worry. She knew they would regardless, but after Rebecca’s outburst, she realised the gravity of her simply brushing it off. They weren’t stupid either.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour. Perhaps I was unfair to you initially.”

“Perhaps?” he echoed, casting her a sidelong glance. Feeling irritation stir inside her stomach, Riza squashed it down. This man saved your life. Saved your family’s life. Leave it be. He had every right to be bitter and angry.

Because he cares. Rebecca’s voice floated through her mind. He did it of his own volition A memory flashed in her mind – they were out on the balcony a few nights ago and he smiled at her softly, his eyes softening, the edges crinkling in amusement despite her being so cold towards him.

Riza felt guilt creep into her chest. He’d tried to watch her back while she’d insulted him, been hostile towards him, and pushed him away.

But he still persevered though, interestingly enough.

She didn’t deserve his forgiveness – or the protection he was wordlessly offering – but she would try and set it right.

“Look, what you do with your time is your own business, not mine.” He still didn’t meet her eye, he continued to stare out across the gardens.

“I’m sorry. I was unfair to you, I understand that. I’ve never been able to trust very many people in my life, and when your mother kidnaps me and sends me down into a place like The Vaults as a means to repay her – after threatening my family, I might add – can you blame me for being angry at you both?”

After a brief pause, he sighed. “I already told you, no.” His tone was softer now, the hostility gone, however his expression was still guarded.

“It was unfair to extend my anger towards you just due to your association. For that, I apologise.” She wouldn’t admit that it was because she was so terrified that she’d lashed out at him. She’d barely begun to admit that to herself. Her behaviour was akin to how a cornered animal looks, lashing out to try and find a way free.

The air was silent between them after her apology. It appeared that even the crickets were awaiting Mustang’s response. Riza waited patiently for his reply, mood turning towards anxious as time dragged on with nothing from him.

“I appreciate that,” he finally stated, straightening from leaning against the balcony. He turned to face her fully, his dark eyes boring into hers intensely. She instantly felt the urge to look away, casting her gaze outwards to the dark garden instead. “Thank you.” His voice was soft and Riza felt her stomach tense in response.

“And I get it, by the way,” he added, a small smile on his face. “Completely. I appreciate the apology. However, I don’t feel there’s a need for it. If anything, it should be the opposite way around. I should be apologising to you.

“Did my mother apologise to you?” he asked, although the expression on his face told Riza he already knew the answer to that question.

“Not entirely.”

He chuckled, the sound making Riza’s stomach tense again.

She didn’t know why.

Or didn’t want to acknowledge why.

He was an attractive man, Riza wouldn’t deny that. The long hair over the dark eyes gave him a mysterious air about him. His build screamed power and the way he moved told Riza that he was a gifted fighter. While she had condemned his nimble fingers for pickpocketing, she could tell he had strength behind him instead. His talents lay elsewhere, although he had the same grace in the way he moved as a thief.

His looks alone would turn many women’s heads, not to mention the easy smile she’d glanced at before on the balcony, and the crooked grin that was on his face right now.

“Why does that not surprise me?” he asked dryly. “It doesn’t mean much coming from me, but on her behalf, I apologise profusely for how you’ve been treated. I don’t think you’ll hear that from her, but someone on this end should apologise for putting you through what we did.”

“She wanted to protect her family,” Riza shrugged. “I can understand that.”

“She also put you on death’s door because of it,” he chuckled.

“That, I did not appreciate.” He laughed quietly and even Riza felt the corners of her lips tugging upwards.

“So, why did you follow you me into The Vaults that night?” she asked conversationally, leaning against the wall of her own balcony.

“Can’t lose our only connection to Kimblee, can we?” he joked. There was no bite to his tone. Roy sighed, then shrugged that he didn’t know the answer to that one. Or, he didn’t know what to tell her.

“Did you feel sorry for me?”

“Well, yes,” he replied before shooting her a quick smile in apology. “I knew what you were getting yourself into. I couldn’t finish the job because I’m so hopeless at stealing things and felt really guilty for placing it on your shoulders. Not to mention the fact my mother took me off the job because it got “too dangerous”.” He shook his head. “The woman can be a nightmare,” he added fondly, then his expression sobered. “However, if that work is good enough for everyone else then it’s good enough for me.”

Riza hadn’t respected that response from the rich man she thought had been playing thief. Perhaps he wasn’t unhappy in this life. He seemed… frustrated. Exasperated that his mother was holding him back while putting others in harm’s way for him.

“That’s admirable.”

“That’s what my mother says, and yet she still puts people in harm’s way and keeps me back.”

“That’s underst –”

“Yes, I know,” he interrupted her, his tone exasperated once more, but it wasn’t directed at Riza. “I know it is, and I’m glad she wants to protect me, but others are getting hurt in my place.” He shot her a pointed look. “And I won’t stand for that.”

Riza found a new respect for Mustang in that moment. He wanted to protect those he cared about, wanted to fight alongside his comrades, however, was being held back by his mother. Yes, it was understandable behaviour from Christmas, but Riza could imagine the frustration and guilt he must feel while watching his family being sent into the very dangerous fray while he was locked up in this mansion, safe and sound.

“That’s good to hear then,” Riza replied.

“I’m glad,” he quipped, shooting her a grin that caught her off guard. Her stomach tensed again and Riza swallowed. Hard. Luckily, it was dim enough on the balconies that he couldn’t entirely see her face in the shadow of the walls.

“I’ll be going back into The Vaults,” Riza revealed, gazing out across the dark sea of grey before them.

“What?” he asked sharply. Too sharply. Riza cast a quick glance over at him, seeing his brow furrowed.

“Kimblee still needs to be dealt with and I had a cover there –”

“Kimblee knows your face. He’s got his men all over the city looking for you, Riza,” he interrupted earnestly. Riza also noted that was the first time he’d referred to her by her name only, with no title in front of it. “He will kill you.”

“I have to, though,” she swallowed hard. “I have to make sure –”

“Whatever it is, we can do it together. I promise you.”

“Mustang, I –”

“I won’t let you go there by yourself.”

Why was he fighting so hard to keep her out of there, to keep her away from Kimblee…?

“You “won’t”?” she echoed, feeling that irritation spike in her again. What gave him the right to decide what she did or didn’t do?

“I –” He sighed loudly. “I’m sorry. I have no right to tell you that. All I ask is that you reconsider. It’s unreasonable given your current situation with the man.”

“Your mother has told me I have to. What do you have to say about that?”

“I’ll go talk to her. I’ll go instead. I’ll send one of the others.”

“You just said you hated your mother sending other people to do work you’re capable of doing yourself. That you hated seeing other people getting hurt because of something you could have prevented,” she reminded him, and from the look on his face, Riza knew that he knew she was right. “I don’t belong here,” she added. “Not really. So, I’m not going to let one the Madame’s people go and do my job for me. Not a chance.”

“Riza –”

“No,” she stated, finality in her tone. She pushed off the wall, turning to face him fully. “I won’t let it happen. I got myself into this mess. Only I can get myself out.”

Roy shook his head, eyes earnest. “No, we got you into this mess.”

“I chose to rob you that night. So, that’s why I have to leave here.”

“Leave?” he asked, confused.

She nodded. “That’s right. I must leave to set things right. To protect my family and those I care about.”

“Wait, why would you leave –?”

She smiled at him, unable to keep the sadness out of her expression. “I told you I knew I was going to die, Roy, whether it was by your mother’s hand, or by Kimblee’s. Right now, I’m only putting off the inevitable.”

“What are you –?”

“Your mother is not invincible. This house is not impenetrable. Kimblee will find me. It’s only a matter of time. And, would you stay here and put the rest of the innocents here in danger? Would you?”

His silence was answer enough for her, because he knew she was right.

Before she could continue, Roy eventually answered.

“Wait, this isn’t what you were talking about before.” He shook his head. “Riza, what’s going on? You said you were going back to The Vaults, now you’re saying you’re leaving all together? Is that right?”

Riza nodded.

“Why?”

“All I ask,” she finished, swallowing again, but this time it was past the lump in her throat. “Is that you take care of Edward and Alphonse for me. Please,” she pleaded.

He shook his head again in disbelief, looking thoroughly confused.

It was time to part ways and keep her family safe. She was the one Kimblee was after. That morning, after her conversation with Christmas, after apologising and talking to the boys, Riza had made her decision.

These people didn’t deserve to be hurt because of her actions.

Kimblee had found out where she’d been living and until Riza could discover who had let slip that piece of information, she wasn’t safe here. The boys, Rebecca, and everyone else here wasn’t safe while Riza was here. So, it was better if she left. She had to protect them. She would never let any harm come to the boys or Rebecca, not to mention the people who lived in the Madame’s mansion and who worked for her. They were innocent in this feud Kimblee had with her.

This was her fight, and hers alone.

“Goodbye, Roy.”

Without another word she vaulted over the edge of the balcony and into the darkness below.

“Wait! Riza!” he shouted from above her, and she’d really rather he didn’t. It would alert someone, and she wanted to escape without anyone tailing her. “Shit!”

She landed then broke out into a sprint, away from everyone she cared about – her family – so that she could protect them.

Before she left, she’d wanted to set things right.

She heard Mustang running behind her, and it brought back the memory of the night they met. So much had happened since then, and it felt like tonight they’d made so much more progress since they’d initially met. Too bad Riza had to go and ruin it all. She felt a sadness wash over her at the future that could have been – watching Edward and Alphonse grow up, working with Rebecca, and maybe, even in time, working with Mustang.

She entered the maze at the far end of the gardens, darting around corners so quickly Mustang couldn’t keep up. She slipped through gaps in the greenery, disappearing out of view, before making it up onto the short cliff that overlooked the gardens. She saw a flash in between the foliage as Mustang tried to follow her, heard his frustrated muttered curses, heard him hissing her name as he searched.

It hurt more than Riza thought it would to turn and walk away from him.

Despite their initial meeting and relationship, ultimately, he’d been looking out for her. Once she’d realised it, Riza noticed how nice that had felt. It never happened often, and it was a pleasant feeling for the few hours she’d experienced it.

Riza whirled around at a sound behind her, expecting to see Mustang, whipping out a knife.

The little pup she’d rescued the night before looked up at her expectantly.

She relaxed and straightened. “Go home, buddy,” she commanded softly, keeping her voice down so Mustang wouldn’t hear her.

He yipped and took a step forward, still looking up at her, tail wagging excitedly. Riza experimented and took three steps away from him, turning to see the dog following behind her. It sat when it caught up, craning its head to look up at her, yipping once more.

“I’ll never get rid of you now, will I?” she asked him. He was supposed to be a pet for Alphonse, yet somehow, he’d escaped and found her. The dog cocked its head as it tried to understand her words.

With a sigh – and a heavy heart – she nodded once, beckoning the dog along. Perhaps a little dog would come in useful when on the lookout for the enemy. It wouldn’t be safe, but the dog wouldn’t leave her alone, no matter how hard she tried.

With one last glance behind her at the Madame’s mansion, Riza set off on her own to begin setting things right.

It was time to end this with Kimblee.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai au #emma writes #hit and run

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commentaryvorg · 5 years

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Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 1.7

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, as the first trial began, the narrative continued to ignore the actual reason for Tsumugi’s apparent innocence, everyone generally played catch with the idiot ball to pad things out including several people who deserve better, and I started discussing Kaito’s really-not-that-gendered concept of manliness. Then suspicion fell upon Shuichi, who promptly clammed up in fear of revealing the truth to defend himself, just before we went to the intermission.

Monokuma: “Try your best to nab the culprit. And believe me, that’s no lie. If I lied, it would shake the game to its very foundation.”

Yeah, you’re definitely not going to do that at the end of this trial, right?

But also, that’s precisely the point: Kokichi’s plan in chapter 5 and Shuichi’s reason for retrying this case in chapter 6 both revolve around the idea that proving Monokuma to have lied would render the entire killing game invalid and force it to end.

Maki is still being the one to drive the conversation in terms of accusing Shuichi. She’s just being pragmatic and has no time for any of this “believing in people” stuff; why would she?

Kokichi: “Did it ever occur to you that Shuichi could have lied about setting the sensor? Hmmm?”

Kaede: “A… A lie…?”

Shuichi: “…”

And yet at the exact time Shuichi was genuinely setting the sensor and not lying about it, Kaede was setting up the camera and turning the flash on and lying about that. That’s probably what Shuichi’s freaking out about right now.

Kokichi’s claim that Shuichi never set up the sensor is so he can argue that Shuichi then used the sensor to set off the receiver in front of Kaede on purpose. But Kokichi doesn’t know the receiver had a power supply, so how does he think Shuichi managed to carry the sensor and the receiver around with him all day and not set it off accidentally just by moving around normally?

Kaede: (I have to do something! I know for a fact that he’s not the culprit!)

Not an exaggeration!

I enjoy the way the podiums can sometimes move about during these trials, and this debate is one of the biggest reasons for it. Just the way it forces Shuichi into the middle of the circle so that everyone is staring right at him – particularly since Shuichi has such a fear about people looking at him with accusation and hatred in their eyes. This must be especially awful for him right now.

(I particularly like this one shot. Shuichi’s frozen up in the foreground, the background focuses on Ryoma, who’s speaking – but in the background there’s also Kaito, silently freaking out over the possibility that Shuichi did it. Kirumi, who’s much less relevant to anything right now, happens to be completely obscured by Shuichi thanks to the angle used.)

Shuichi: “………………”

“Say something.”

That bit of white noise there is probably Maki again, being blunt and pragmatic as usual. (It’s fun guessing who the lines of white noise could be from; I’ll be pointing out some of the more relevant ones.)

Kokichi: “Yeaaah, I mean, whatevs. I made a mistake! Big deal!”

Kiyo: “You speak as if you knew that from the start… Even I was taken in…”

I can’t decide whether I agree with Kiyo that Kokichi actually knew about the contradiction in his argument from the beginning or not. Making the argument despite knowing it’s wrong is the kind of dick thing he’d do, but also I’m pretty sure that at this point he does think Shuichi did it? There is absolutely no indication that he was aware Kaede was the real culprit until that comes out.

And now Ryoma makes the argument about Shuichi turning the receiver off because he happened to learn that bit of information during the investigation.

This argument they put together here (that Shuichi did set up the sensor, turned the receiver off, murdered Rantaro when he went to the basement and then retrieved the sensor so that he could set off the receiver in front of Kaede to fake the time of death and give himself an alibi) is almost a completely flawless argument. It’s pretty clever how the case manages to do this – create a way in which Shuichi could have plausibly done it so that the only way to defend him is not to prove he didn’t but to force him to prove that Kaede did. And then everyone, even Kaede herself, ends up firmly believing that she did it because the evidence pointing to that is seemingly flawless, even though that’s also not the truth and the real culprit is yet another person that nobody will be aware of until they find new information at the very end of the game.

…I say “almost” completely flawless because there is actually an argument to clear Shuichi’s name without Kaede lying or confessing, namely that they saw the bookcase door closing when they ran into the library, proving that Rantaro had in fact been alive when the receiver went off. Nobody points that out in this trial, but even so, it’s almost a shame that that piece of evidence exists to make this current argument about Shuichi’s potential guilt not truly airtight. The writers presumably only put that bit in as a hint for chapter 6 that Tsumugi had just left, but even then that won’t be necessary to prove that she did it.

Kokichi: “Nee-heehee… So the Ultimate Detective is the killer. What a plot twist!”

You’re not the only person who wanted that plot twist to happen, either, Kokichi. Good thing the other person who wanted it doesn’t exist anymore and got overwritten by an Ultimate Detective who wouldn’t ever kill anyone.

(Also, man, 53 seasons and none of the writers thought to try and do this plot twist, even though they apparently have a lot of Ultimate Detective characters?)

Kaito: “Hey, you gonna say anything? We’ll all vote for you if you don’t.”

Kaito’s been interestingly quiet this whole time Shuichi’s been accused. This is the first thing he’s said since the intermission, and it’s not even specifically defending him. I might have expected Kaito’s belief in Shuichi to be strong enough that he’d have tried to defend him, but seemingly not. He’s probably been focused on trying to figure out why Shuichi would clam up when he’s being accused if he really isn’t the culprit – Kaito is always about trying to understand people.

Kaede: (Why won’t Shuichi say anything? Is there… a reason he won’t say anything? … If that’s the case… then it’s all up to me.)

Kaede has probably figured out here that it’s her fault he won’t say anything, because he’s realised she did it and is terrified of admitting it.

Monokuma is having himself a little puhuhuhuhu in amongst the white noise of the debate where you have to lie. He’s probably excited to find out if Kaede will throw Shuichi under the bus for her own survival or not.

You know, Kaede, your lie would probably be more convincing if you didn’t dramatically yell, “I’ll turn this lie… into the truth!” before starting to tell it.

(Yeah, yeah, obviously she doesn’t actually say that out loud since no-one comments on it, but it still comes across as pretty unintentionally silly.)

Kaede: “S-Sorry, you guys! I forgot to tell you something important!”

She’s also a really unconvincing liar. Shuichi will be much better at it than her when it’s his turn to lie. Plus, her lie is extra bad because it comes with the huge looming question of why the hell didn’t she mention this ten minutes ago when the receiver was first brought up as proof Shuichi did it.

Aaaa but Shuichi’s look of shock when he sees her lying for him, though. He’s probably been terrified this whole time that she’s secretly a horrible person who’s only pretending to defend him and will eventually sacrifice him to get away with her crime, but the fact that she’s willing to go this far to defend him and put herself at this much risk…!

Kaede: “C’mon, would I lie to you guys?”

Kaito: “That’d only screw yourself over. If we mess up, you’re dead too, y’know?”

And yet Kaede knows that this lie is all the more likely to get herself killed and that’s exactly why she’s telling it.

Kiyo: “Or perhaps… you wanted to cover for Shuichi, even at the cost of your own life.”

Shuichi: “…Huh?”

That’s the first sound Shuichi’s made since he was accused. It hasn’t been confirmed yet, but the possibility is occurring to him that Kaede is still the person he believed in!

Keebo: “I cannot imagine why anyone would risk their life to lie on another’s behalf.”

Kokichi: “Words from a true heartless robot! Emotions are only for meatbags!”

And yet you have an even harder time comprehending the idea of risking your life for someone else’s sake than anyone else in this room, Kokichi.

Tsumugi: “Umm… I agree. I sort of can’t believe that Shuichi is the culprit.”

Yeah, of course you don’t, because you want everyone to eventually figure out that Kaede did it. Note how she doesn’t even present a specific reason for thinking this; it’s not like she’s been acting as if she believes in Shuichi especially strongly or anything.

Kaito: “Yeah, this ain’t right!”

And of course Kaito believes in Shuichi! Even though he wasn’t speaking up to defend Shuichi earlier, he also wasn’t one of the people contributing to the argument against him.

Kaede: (We can’t vote for Shuichi, because he’s definitely not the culprit. If we vote for him, all hope is lost… I won’t be able to save everyone…)

Again with her utter certainity. But she shouldn’t be so worried – she must know that even if she can’t convince everyone of Shuichi’s innocence with just her lie, all she needs to do is confess, if it comes to it. She should be absolutely certain that no matter how things go, this trial will never end up with everyone else getting executed, because she won’t let that happen. I guess by “save everyone” she means she’s still hoping to catch the mastermind at this point, and this whole accusing Shuichi thing is just an inconvenient detour she’s trying to drag everyone off of.

The way Monokuma twists the key into the keyhole when starting up a Debate Scrum is extremely reminiscent of Gurren Lagann. Given a certain someone in this game who is also extremely reminiscent of a certain character from that anime, I feel like this is probably deliberate.

I like that Gonta makes one of the arguments in the Debate Scrum. He wouldn’t necessarily need to, since there’s only five arguments for eight people on his side, but he’s contributing! He’s not as stupid as he thinks!

I’m playing on the Vita version, and one of the few notable downgrades is that it doesn’t have the voice clips of everybody yelling “This is our answer!” together at the end of a Debate Scrum. Which is a shame; I always thought that was a cool bit, hearing multiple characters work together to convince everyone else of the truth. Debate Scrums are a really cool idea in general to get more of the characters involved.

Kaede: “And if that happens… Everyone will be executed… I definitely won’t let that happen, even if it costs me my life!”

Man, that statement of Kaede’s is telling. Why would it cost her her own life to prevent everyone being executed, unless…? It can be passed off as misguided protagonist determination and her temporarily forgetting how things work because she’s so worked up, but it’s more than that.

Shuichi: “Kaede…”

Look at Shuichi finally saying something for the first time since he was accused, and it’s when he hears that Kaede is willing to die for her crime. She is not the horrible backstabber he was afraid she might be; she is still exactly the brave, selfless person he believed in. It’s this that makes him finally able to face the truth.

Kaito: “Yeah, it’s just like Kaede said! Shuichi ain’t the culprit!”

Gonta: “Gonta believe in Shuichi, too! Gentlemen always believe in friends!”

Kaito and Gonta are both so good and so full of belief in people.

Even though Shuichi is speaking again and is laying out his arguments that lead to the truth, he’s still doing it in a pretty roundabout way, like he’s trying to put off the moment where he has to accuse Kaede for as long as he can.

Kaede: (I see… Shuichi knows… The reason why Rantaro noticed the camera was…)

I love just how strongly this hints that Kaede knows everything that happened even better than Shuichi.

Kaede: (I know this… There’s only one reason the camera’s flash was used…)

And again. She very clearly already knows and is not just figuring things out as Shuichi explains.

Kaede: “But the culprit didn’t expect the camera to take another picture when the door closed.”

And Kaede can be sure of this statement because she is the culprit. (Although, they’re all only assuming the second picture was when the door closed – I believe it is actually supposed to be when Tsumugi opened it again from the other side.)

Kaito: “Hey, Kaede…?”

Kaede: “What is it?”

Kaito: “Is… something wrong? You’ve been acting… kinda strange.”

Kaede: “…Strange?”

Kiyo: “Your last few remarks carry… more conviction than before.”

Look at how Kaito is the first one to notice this! He doesn’t for a moment want to believe that she actually did it, which is why he remains vague about what’s up with her and Kiyo has to be more specific – but still, he noticed, and he brought it up because he wanted to better understand why. Kaito is so perceptive when it comes to people and always trying to understand them better when there’s things that don’t make sense to him.

The fact that Shuichi and not Kaede is designated as number 1 in the screen where you have to accuse people would potentially be extremely spoilery if it weren’t for the fact that this is the first time we see this screen, when you’re about to find out that Shuichi is the true protagonist anyway.

It’s very appropriate how Kaede’s voice clip for accusing someone correctly, given that this is the only time she ever does it, is “No doubt about it”.

Kaede: (I’m sorry… Shuichi. You stayed silent this whole time because you realized it already, right? But, you can’t do that. It may be the end of me, but I want my wish to… I’m giving it to you, Shuichi. From now on, you’re going to carry on my wish! You’re going to protect everyone!)

Shuichi: (Kaede… I know what you want me to do. That’s so cruel… It’s cruel, but… I understand. I’ll do it. You can trust me. I won’t let your wish… go ungranted.)

This sequence where they switch protagonists is adorable and gives me feelings every time. I don’t think it’s supposed to be that they’re actually talking to each other or reading each other’s thoughts – they just both understand each other enough that they’re accurately imagining how the other is feeling right now and responding to that in their own inner monologue.

Also, despite the game making you do so as her, Kaede didn’t actually accuse herself. All that was ever said out loud was:

Kaede: “The culprit of this incident is…”

…

Shuichi: “…Kaede is the culprit.”

Kaede must have been trusting that Shuichi was finally about to find the courage to face the truth and was waiting for him to say it so that she didn’t have to. By acting like she was about to admit it herself, she made it clear to him that she is completely okay with being found guilty, giving him the final push he needed to do it.

Gonta: “Kaede… did it?”

Tenko: “W-Wait, that’s not possible! Right, Kaede!?”

I like that these two are the first ones to speak up to question this. They believe in her!

Kaede: “Pft… ahahahaha! Just kidding!”

Ryoma: “Just kidding?”

Kaede: “Huh? Did you guys really think I’m the culprit? Psh, come on, guys! Like I could!”

And now Kaede has started deliberately playing the villain. She’s given up on her attempts to corner the mastermind, given up on her own life – but she still hasn’t stopped trying to help everyone. She’s doing this, playing the horrible traitor who would hide their crime and try to get away with it, in the hope that it will unite everyone against her, so that despite how awfully things went, they’ll still have a sense of unity and co-operation once this is all over. And of course, she’s doing it to get Shuichi to face his fear of revealing the truth, because she knows that he’s going to need to do that in order to keep saving everyone throughout the rest of this killing game.

Kaede is willingly turning herself into a monster because she’s selflessly fixated on saving everyone else and doesn’t care at all what they think of her so long as they’re all going to be okay. She is so, so good.

Kaede: “Shuichi’s just joking around. He wanted to lighten up the mood.”

Yes, because that’s totally an in-character thing that Shuichi would do.

Kaito: “Yeah, how? You and Kaede were together the whole time, weren’t you?”

I also find it interesting that, again, this is the first time Kaito has spoken up since Shuichi accused Kaede. He did not join in earlier when Gonta and Tenko were questioning if she really did this. Kaito was the one who first noticed she was acting strange, after all, so it seems there’s a part of him that didn’t have as much trouble believing it, based on the way she’s acting. Here he’s speaking up not to question the fact that she would do it, but simply how she physically could have done it, because that at least is still very unclear.

Kaede: “…I was in the classroom, standing watch with Shuichi.”

“Y-You see!?”

Gonta: “Kaede never saw Rantaro… then how she kill him!?”

“There’s no way!”

These two bits of white noise are absolutely 100% Kaito. Even if Kaede being the culprit makes more sense to him based on her behaviour than he would like to admit, he still doesn’t want to face up to that. So he’s vehemently latching onto the part where it doesn’t seem to be physically possible to avoid having to think about the fact that her behaviour tells a different story. The fact that he’s stuttering in the first statement and the text is shaking in the second one certainly implies that he is not as sure of himself as he is trying to sound.

Tsumugi: “Hmm… what a mystery.”

Yeah, such a mystery that you definitely don’t know the answer to. And you definitely didn’t write Kaede with a fondness for Rube Goldberg machines precisely so she’d be able to create a mystery like this.

Shuichi: (If I’m remembering correctly, there was something off about her then… Damn it, how could I not realize it…?)

Because she’s your friend and you trusted her and had absolutely no reason to assume she might have been secretly plotting a murder. Don’t beat yourself up about this, Shuichi.

Ryoma: “It’s not like it started rollin’ on its own…”

“Rollin’ on its own!?”

Ryoma: “…and fell off the bookcase onto Rantaro’s head.”

“The hell are you talkin’ about!?”

These white noise lines: also Kaito. Ironic that the part he’s furiously questioning here is the part that turns out to be close to the truth.

Typical of Miu to have made this aerial diagram of the library and not even remotely have it occur to her that maybe there’s something weird about the sloped path of books leading to just above Rantaro’s head.

It’s a little weird for Shuichi to be having flashbacks and the flashbacks still be from Kaede’s perspective. Would have been kind of neat to instead get a different flashback to what Shuichi was thinking at the time. Still, I can see that the reason they did it this way is to let the player look back at those lines from Kaede’s inner monologue that hinted at what was really going on and see them for what they really meant.

Kaede: “Impressive… You have a really good memory, Shuichi.”

Shuichi is condemning her to death and all she cares about doing is praising his talent and making sure he feels confident in himself. She is so goddamn selfless.

Tsumugi: “A setup that complicated is almost like a Rube Goldberg machine.”

…are you mentioning this because you heard the part where Kaede talked about Rube Goldberg machines and want to make sure everyone in the audience makes the connection, Tsumugi?

Kiyo: “Your words and that smile… Is this your admission of guilt?”

Kaito: “Hold on! Don’t just jump to conclusions! I’ve… still got a lot of questions!”

Even though Kaede looks to be just about willing to admit things, Kaito is not ready to accept this so easily.

Kokichi: “Nee-heehee… that’s weeeeeird. Why do you sound so desperate?”

Kaito: “There’s nothing weird about it! There’s just no way I can believe someone like Kaede would be the culprit!”

Kokichi notes that Kaito sounds desperate because he is – there’s obviously a part of him that can tell, from the facts lining up and from Kaede’s behaviour right now, that this is the truth. But even so, his belief in the person Kaede is as someone who would never do something like this still hasn’t been contradicted. She’s acting as though she did it, but she’s not acting as though she wasn’t really that person who always cared about saving everyone. This whole time she’s clearly been trying to help Shuichi through his issues and guide him towards the truth. So it just does not make sense to Kaito, since it hasn’t occurred to him that she could have done this in an attempt to save them all.

Gonta: “Yeah! Gonta not believe it either!”

Kaede: “What?”

And look at Kaede being so bewildered by them still believing in and defending her. She’s just a murderer, right? She betrayed them all! They should all hate her!

Kaito: “Don’t worry, Kaede! I’ll clear your name!”

Kaito knows she did it and that it’s not going to be possible to clear her name. He just doesn’t want to accept it.

Kaito: “I refuse to believe that Kaede is the culprit! I still have my doubts!”

Himiko: “What kinda doubts?”

Kaito: “Doubts about the noise, of course!”

His doubts aren’t really about the noise. They’re about the fact that someone like Kaede would ever do this. But he knows that’s not an acceptable argument in a class trial, so instead he’s latching onto whatever evidence-related thing he can think of. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he hadn’t actually forgotten that the BGM could have masked the noise and is just avoiding mentioning it in the hope that no-one else will and he’ll have an excuse not to face the truth.

Ryoma: “Eh, some noise ain’t a big deal.”

“Is true!”

Tenko: “Of course it’s a big deal!”

“Yes! I’m positive!”

Hee, look at Gonta and Kaito’s white noise here fervently insisting that Kaede must be innocent. (Kaito is not positive. He’s just desperately pretending that he is.) Also props to Tenko for being the other most adamant defender of Kaede. It’s a little awkward in her case considering that if Kaede were exactly the same person but happened to be a guy then Tenko wouldn’t be doing this, but at least because Kaede is a girl we get to see Tenko’s good side come through here.

This whole argument about the BGM is also kind of flimsy considering that Kaede didn’t know there was going to be loud music masking the sound of the shot and went ahead with her plan anyway. She was presumably hoping her target wouldn’t realise what the noise meant until it was too late. And hey, maybe Rantaro did actually barely hear the sound over the music and that’s why Kaede’s shot missed.

Kokichi: “Kaito, are you done now?”

Yeah, all this ridiculous nonsense of Kaito’s about believing in people, none of that makes any sense, right? Not in Kokichi’s worldview.

Kaito: “D-Damn it…! So… it’s true, then…? You’re saying… Kaede really is the culprit!?”

This, though, is Kaito more or less admitting defeat, now that he has no more arguments he can think of. He still doesn’t want to believe that Kaede is the culprit… but he can accept it.

Kirumi: “But we should not blame him for that. None of those actions warranted suspicion at the time, so he might not have noticed.”

Shuichi: “…”

Shuichiiii, listen to Kirumi. Don’t go blaming yourself for this.

Gonta: “That can’t be… It’s gotta be mistake, right?”

Gonta, like Kaito, still doesn’t want to believe that Kaede could have done something like this.

Kokichi: “But if all of that is true, then that’s pretty unfortunate… I mean… it’s Kaede, y’know? She kept preaching about working together, and then she goes and kills in cold blood!”

This is Kokichi very transparently trying to force it into people’s heads that obviously you shouldn’t trust anyone ever because even someone like Kaede who talks about working together and being friends would totally turn around and murder someone in cold blood for their own selfish gain.

Shuichi: “No, something still doesn’t fit.”

Kokichi: “Hm? What doesn’t fit?”

Shuichi: “Kaede… wouldn’t do something like that.”

And this is Shuichi giving the big middle finger to Kokichi’s twisted worldview. Because anyone who doesn’t have the world’s biggest unexplained trust issues should be able to tell that obviously precisely because Kaede is the person she is, she would definitely have a better reason for killing someone than just doing it in cold blood.

Tsumugi: “But you were the one that said she did it, right?”

Shuichi: “Yes, I did say that. But murder in cold blood is just not in her character… I truly believe that! I believe in her!”

This is not the only time that Shuichi is going to be certain that his closest friend committed murder and yet even more certain that they didn’t do it for selfish reasons!

Kaede: “But… why? Why do you still believe in me, Shuichi? Why? Tell me why!”

Because you’re still a good person, Kaede! Even if you yourself can’t believe that right now because you messed up and accidentally killed an innocent.

Kaede: “Are you still looking away from the truth!?”

Not any more. Now you’re the one who’s doing that, Kaede.

Kaede: “I’m a terrible murderer. I betrayed everyone!”

A couple of lines from the Argument Armament that it’s easy to miss out on if you do too well at it, which is a big shame because they are excellent lines.

Shuichi: “Kaede wasn’t targeting Rantaro. She was targeting the mastermind. She was trying to end this killing game… She was trying to save us all. Isn’t that right, Kaede?”

Kaede: “…”

This time, Kaede’s response is not the “good job for figuring it out, Shuichi!” that she was doing before. She didn’t care if Shuichi figured this out. It didn’t matter what anyone thought of her, after she’d failed them and done such a horrible thing.

Kaito: “So… she tried to end the killing game… by killing the mastermind?”

And now I think Kaito can finally properly accept it, because he has a reason that makes sense. Even if he’s still upset and frustrated that she was desperate enough to take such drastic measures, he understands.

Shuichi: “…But it’s all my fault. Kaede trusted my detective skills. I told her the mastermind might be there… And that’s why she set that trap. It’s all my fault. She trusted my detective work, and I screwed it up!”

Kaede: “Stop… That’s not true… Please, don’t say it’s your fault… It’ll be harder for me… None of this is your fault! It’s mine! Everything’s my fault!”

Kaede does not want to die worried that Shuichi is going to keep blaming himself and suffering because of her mistake. Her only priority now is making sure that everyone else, especially Shuichi, is going to be okay once she’s gone.

Kaede: “I want you to reveal everything that happened and convince everyone… And then… I want you to end this. That’s… my final wish.”

It’s… honestly a little awkward that Kaede calls this request for Shuichi to do a Closing Argument her “final wish”. No, it’s not – her final wish is going to be for everyone to end this killing game and get out of here! There isn’t even really a need to convince everyone at this point – even Kaito has been convinced by now. But of course it’s Danganronpa so we have to do a Closing Argument. I guess Kaede’s really just trying to give Shuichi more chance to practice his detective skills, you could argue?

“I want to help… I want to help you grant Kaede’s wish!”

…I haven’t been mentioning any of the tutorial text for obvious reasons, but this line is cute.

It’s amusing how the Completely Ambiguous Culprit Figure has a very distinctive backpack, making it not ambiguous at all. It does make sense to do that, since the backpack is relevant in a couple of panels.

Shuichi: “We deduced that the mastermind would return there to let Monokuma out.”

No, Shuichi, you deduced that all by yourself. Have some more pride in your deductions! (Not that he would want to in this case because this is the reason Kaede committed murder.)

Shuichi: “The shot kept rolling, then fell on Rantaro’s head, killing him instantly.”

Nope! For once, this is a Closing Argument being straight-up incorrect.

I appreciate this panel of Ambiguous Culprit Kaede being horrified by her guilt even as she’s thinking she killed the mastermind. We’ll even get to see this again in chapter 6 with it actually having Kaede’s face.

Kirumi: “We can at least try to trust the Kaede we’ve come to know up to this point.”

Tenko: “The Kaede we’ve come to know…?”

Kirumi: “Even if she did commit a crime, what Kaede has said to us is not a lie. She wanted to protect us, and I firmly believe that to be the truth.”

Exactly! Too bad Kokichi’s never going to change his tune despite any of this. Also, this is Kirumi showing a surprising amount of personal feelings for her standards. Perhaps because the focus is on how Kaede has been selflessly trying to protect everyone else, which is something Kirumi can definitely understand.

Ryoma: “If that was a lie too, it’d be the last straw for me. I’d have nothing left to believe in.”

Aww, Ryoma! He did want to believe in Kaede despite his grim outlook on things. Seems like she made him want to find a reason to live just a little bit.

Kaede: “You guys are so nice… Even though I betrayed you all…”

Because you have been so nice to them the whole time and you didn’t betray them!

Shuichi: “No! That’s not true, Kaede! You were trying to save all of—”

Kaede: “Nice job, Shuichi! I didn’t expect any less!”

Shuichi: “…What?”

Kaede: “You were super reliable back there! But you still have a long way to go. You need to be more assertive. If you did that more often, you’d be a pretty cool guy.”

Aaaaa Kaede encouraging and giving advice to Shuichi even when she’s about to die! And it’s definitely not a coincidence that she did this as a way to cut off Shuichi’s attempt to make things about how she’s feeling – her own feelings don’t matter next to everyone else’s, especially now she betrayed them and is about to die. She doesn’t want this to be about her at all.

(This attitude of hers is incredibly similar to a certain someone else I could mention who’s going to be encouraging Shuichi a lot from now on.)

Shuichi: “Kaede… why? Why are you smiling like that…? Why are you still trying to get me to be brave? Why, Kaede? Why are you thinking about everyone except yourself!? If you had just been less selfless, you wouldn’t have had to murder… Why…? Why do you do that?”

Unfortunately, Shuichi, you are going to have to get used to having friends who are this heartbreakingly selfless. This won’t be the last time.

Kaede: “…I’m… sorry…”

And of course, the only response Kaede has is to apologise for the fact that her selflessness ended up hurting Shuichi like this.

Monokuma: “The heart-racing excitement as the blackened and the spotless finally face off!”

…Like hell they’re facing off right now, Monokuma. You wish.

The roulette thing which announces the blackened slows down so much that for a moment it almost looks like it’s stopped on Gonta, who’s just before Kaede. Which probably gives first-time players a feeling of “man it sure would be awful if it really was Gonta; good thing that’s clearly never going to happen”. This same thing also happens in trial 2 with Kaito, who’s right next to Kirumi. I have to wonder if that’s deliberate.

---

[Next post]

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #chapter 1 #class trial #commentary

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firelight-tales-of-exandria · 6 years

Text

Firelight Tales of Exandria, Ch.15 - “Nemo dat Quod non Habet”

Thank you all for coming, so let’s tell some stories...

“When we last left the party...they were having a GREAT time: Dren had bore his soul, and to salve that wound had offered up some TranquiliTea that was given to him by Aeden. A couple of the party imbibed, and had quite a mellow ride, and the other half of the group had embarked on an introspective journey. Having sorted some things out, and being given a helpful nudge by Zeal on how to salvage their current situation, the party returned to the Westruun Garrison barracks, and were confined to quarters; not arrested, but under careful guard, due to there being a recent murder nearby.

“The party has spent most of the day within their assigned room, and have been assigned a ‘personal investigator’ to look into the activities of the group and its possible involvement in the murder."

Warrant Officer Regnault du Gaultier makes himself comfortable in the barracks room with the party, setting up his Ghostwriter quill and notes, and Shadow wastes no time stalking and batting at the self-writing instrument.

Leaf contentedly meanders about the parade grounds, working their way through three shifts of escorts.

Cezika bemoans running out of wine, as Regnault peppers the group with questions, unintentionally amusing/annoying the party with his strange accent.

Shadow: “We did not know anything about this ‘mehr-dehr’.”

Regnault attempts to reassure the party that he is working in the best interests of the party, presenting a scroll bearing the signatures and seals of the Westruun Shields Judge Advocate General and Margrave Brandon Zimmerset naming him the party’s advocate. This does not fill Ladryssa with much confidence, as advocates in the Feywild must share the punishments of their clients.

Regnault’s attempts at being cordial with the party are met will cool skepticism, but he proceeds to interview the party nonetheless. The party plays a bit dumb regarding the discrepancies in their testimony before the inquiry board.

Cezika: “It would be better if you spoke plain?”

Regnault: “I am speaking plain.”

Cezika: “No, even more plain. You are speaking plain in the way a lawyer speaks plain, you need to speak plain as if...I don’t know. Be an actual person.”

Shadow: “Are lawyers not people?”

Regnault: “Very well, I will make zis as plain as I can: you have stepped in merde.”

Regnault informs the party that lying to the inquiry board, regardless of their motivations or degree of guilt, is a serious crime. Whether or not the purpose of their deception is related to the murder, it makes the party suspects. He attempts to explain the nature of the “Chair of Truth” the tribunal employs, when he notices Leaf is gone. Regnault orders the guards to bring the firbolg back in, much to their impotent despair.

Leaf: “Oh, are you the strange man with the strange accent [the guard told me about]?”

Regnault: “Leaf, I presume? Would you be so kind as to come inside?”

Leaf: “If I must.”

Regnault: “YES, you must.”

Leaf: “......okay” *squeezing past Regnault into the room* “Excuse me...”

Settling back in, Regnault smooths out his uniform, at which Shadow casts Prestidigitation to clean him. Regnault, instantly nettled, counterspells the tabaxi’s cantrip.

The party tries to explain that they were covering for Song and his past. As much as he appreciates the group’s efforts and noble intent, it does nothing to diffuse the suspicions of the inquiry board.

Cezika suggests that if Song can be convinced to turn himself in an submit to the inquiry board’s scrutiny, it could clear the party of any suspicion of the murder. Regnault uses Minor Image to illustrate the timeline of events (complete with chibi representations of the party), hoping to find some way to impart the gravity of Song’s absence during the presumed time of the murder.

The party tries once more to convey that Song was incapable of committing the crime, but Regnault says he isn’t the one the party must convince.

When Shadow suggests the identity of the murder victim could help their case, Regnault says that information is classified. Shadow then bemoans the obstinacy of the city authorities when it comes to withholding information that could help people.

Regnault: “To answer your second point: it is because those who have unsavory motives can to just as much with that information for the wrong reasons, as someone with the right motives can wield it for good.”

Shadow: “And you think we have unsavory...whatever?”

Regnault: “It is not my job to think, it is my job to defend you. But the more I know, the better I can do my job.”

Shadow: “How can you defend us if you job is not to think?”

Regnault: *grabbing his quill and pad* “Mon chat, I don’t expect you to like me. I don’t expect you to agree with me. Frankly, I don’t expect you to even cooperate with me. They never want to. But I take pride in my work--”

Shadow insists that everything they did was to help Song, but that it is Regnault’s duty to help Song. Regnault retorts that Song is the only one that can clear his name. Before he leaves, fuming and frustrated, he tells the party that the murdered halfling was the one who brought Buddy in and was the only one who could have testified as to why a simple gnoll trapper would be suspected of unleashing a magical corruption on the forest.

Shadow admits the rest of the party was right about not trusting the motivations of the cityfolk. Ladryssa voices similar frustration about the arcane marks that track them.

Leaf wonders how they are supposed to contact Song when they are not allowed to leave. Ladryssa suggests sending the pseudodragon and Shadow offers to sneak out, but they all agree those would be dangerous.

Shadow vents about how Regnault was quick to offense when no slight was intended.

Ladryssa: “I do not like him. He speaks in tongues that I do not trust.”

Shadow: “He is quick to offense when none was intended.”

Leaf: “He says funny words.”

Shadow: “I say funny words.”

Ladryssa: “Shadow speaks like an avalanche: to the point and fast. He speaks like a river, that is too slow and too muddy to be of any use.”

Shadow: “That is a fair comparison.”

Ladryssa: “I do not like people who speak like rivers.”

The party tries to wrap their heads around why the tribunal would suspect Song of murdering Buddy’s captor, but none of the scenarios they come up with satisfy them. Shadow cannot understand why everyone is so suspicious when the truth seems so plain.

Shadow asks the guards where Regnault went and asks to speak with him, and says they wish to apologize (to which the guard laughs). Shadow then asks for some time outside, which they use to run laps, alarming the guards.

The next day, Cezika is summoned to the Chamber of Judgement, but before she enters she sees Regnault approach with Song in tow. Cezika asks for tips, and Regnault tells her they can tell if the chair is affecting her with its Zone of Truth. Song is not happy about being subjected to such a sensation.

Regnault: “Think of it zis way, mon ami: it’s like being hugged by justice.”

Cezika is questioned by the inquisitorial board, as everyone else before her. Upon being dismissed and escorted out of the Manor, she sees Song being manacled and lead into the Chamber with Regnault at his side. Cezika kisses him on the forehead before Song disappears into the Chamber.

The party is grouped in their room in the barracks, when Regnault brings Song to join them. The party’s advocate says he work still isn’t done and he will continue to push for the party’s case. He also tells Leaf that the Green Men are being released tomorrow; however, they are being banished from the Bramblewood surrounding Westruun. Leaf wishes to say goodbye to them, so Regnault says he will try to make it happen, and gets a flower from Leaf as thanks.

Alone now, the party plies the bard for information on his interrogation, but Song seems deeply disturbed by what was said, or rather what couldn’t be said.

Song: “I tried giving them my real name. I tried coping to everything and somehow--”

Cezika: “It works that you cannot lie.”

Song: “I wasn’t lying.”

Cezika: “No, but you weren’t telling the truth.”

Song: “I thought I was. I told them my name, I--”

Cezika: “That isn’t your name! Song. That isn’t your name anymore. Your name is Song.”

Song: “But then I threw all of that away for nothing; I put all of you in danger for nothing. Maybe they think I’m dead, maybe, they probably just think I’m dead. ‘Cause otherwise what it means, is that, one, I’ve just been paranoid and crazy for ten years, or that they just never cared about any of it.”

Ladryssa: “You were acting with what you thought was right, given the information you had at the time.”

Song: “That doesn’t make it better. That doesn’t give me ten years of my life back. And ‘Song’ is one of seven different names. I don’t even have my own name anymore. Not according to that thing. I’m not anyone.”

Shadow: “You are our friend. You are indispensable. We would not have gone through all of this for no one.”

Song: “But there was no point! Can you not see that? If no one is after me-- if all of that was some ego trip on my end, that maybe I just wanted them to be, maybe I wanted them to give a damn for two seconds-- then I put all of you in danger for nothing and I’ve been doing all of this for nothing. And I lost ten years of my life for nothing! And I haven’t seen my mom for ten years for nothing!

Shadow: “We can fix that.”

Song: “You can’t give me those years back! You can’t give me the life that I had back!”

Leaf: “You have the future. You have the years ahead of you now. That is something.”

Song: “And now I live it as ‘Song’... this asshole... this made-up thing...”

Shadow: “You can be whoever you want to be; whatever name you want to be.”

Song: “I want to be Kelidan again!”

Shadow: “Then do so.”

Song: “According to the cuffs I can’t. Apparently that’s not true anymore.”

Leaf: “It will be if you say it is.”

Song: “I don’t know what I want. Everything I’ve known for ten years is wrong.”

Song asks to be left alone. Shadow admits to having lost his clan a long time ago, and never thought he would have one again, but is proud to have been adopted by a new clan and is proud to have Song as a part of that clan.

A pall hangs over the party, until a frantic knock is heard at the door. Brother Maynard enters the room, bursting with excitement, explaining that Zeal and Dren are meeting with the Margrave on the party’s behalf.

Brother Maynard gives back Shadow’s sample of Alma’s corrupting brew, and eagerly passes on the fruits of his research. The “corruption” is an alchemical and magical malady, transmitted through bodily fluids, that inflicts terrible physical sickness, but also dulls the victim’s mind and “refines” the energies of their soul.

Ladryssa posits that the function of the malady’s effects is the result of a coven of various hags mixing their powers together into a singular form. Ladryssa tries to remember more about Alma’s coven, but the only thing that flashes through her mind is a consuming darkness and the name “Granny.”

What Brother Maynard can’t quite figure out is why the malady dulls the victim’s mind, which doesn’t seem to do anything useful for a would-be conqueror and is unnecessary if one just wanted to destroy a population.

Shadow takes the sample back, but Maynard is just glad to have something useful to do rather than the mundane chores of the temple. He confides that he wants to learn how to write and play music, which temporarily breaks Song out of his funk to give the cleric a crash course in songwriting (which may or may not have been a mistake) and sending him on his way with some basic chords written on some barred bard paper.

Leaf continues to innocently torment the guards by being given a time limit on their outside time (and then waiting a minute before wanting back out for another hour again).

Regnault returns in the evening to tell the party the bad news of Buddy being sent to the court martial, and the good news of being awarded the bounty. However, the Margrave has requested a private meeting with the party before compensating them tomorrow.

As he leaves, Regnault talks about working on Buddy’s appeal and surreptitiously traces a symbol on the table as he leaves, which Song recognizes as the insignia of the Clasp before it disappears. The party debates on what possible connection the crime syndicate could have with an exiled Dustpaw gnoll hunter, the murder of his captor, Gortman stoking resentment against the Margrave and his martial law, and a corrupting darkness encroaching from the wilds surrounding the city.

As the party debates the myriad of possible motives and endgames, Zeal knocks at the door, asking to speak privately with Cezika and Song. The trio stay out on the parade grounds for about two hours before returning. Cezika and Song are awkwardly quiet, but the bard suggests an unusual course of action: he’s going to take a nap!

#firelight tales of exandria #dungeons and dragons #campaign journal #oc: regnault du gaultier #law & order: fantasy crimes division #conspiracies

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radiantepoch · 3 years

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Radiant Epoch: Chapter 2 - Lyra

The Lyra of today could not recall when playing with dolls had stopped being enjoyable for her, but she knew it had been many years since she’d felt the urge to do it, and that, at some point, she began to find it more enjoyable by far to see a little girl’s face light up when told that one of Lyra’s childhood toys was hers to keep forever. Incidentally, indulging this more recently discovered pleasure had ultimately whittled her once-prized assemblage down to a single member: a very unusual artifact of the now badly endangered traditional culture of the Anhelos Archipelago, which had managed to stay on as one of her possessions after losing its value as a plaything by becoming instead an evocative symbol of yet another of her enjoyable things, that being a growing earnestness to learn as much as possible about the world she lived in (an interest of hers which no doubt had its roots in her father’s habit of providing his young daughter not only with unique toys, but also with tales of the faraway lands from which they came).

There was probably no human girl in Paach who owned as much “fashionable” clothing as Lyra. There were probably also few who would have cared less. By now, her parents had to have known that Lyra was not one to be impressed by whatever strangers living hundreds of miles away found fashionable, but every time they presented something like this to her, they talked on and on about it as though this was the one that would finally make their daughter understand.

“Tyce….” Lyra muttered softly as she turned away from the mirror.

Shelving the whole idea for some other morning’s idle contemplation, she turned her mind to her plans for the day. Her parents would be out during the morning, and she would be minding the store in their absence. After they got back, it was off to her date with Tyce. Troupe Astral had come to Paach, and Tyce was taking her to see their performance. Year by year, Paach was become more open and integrated into the cultural life of the Hafen Empire, but as far as Lyra knew, getting to see a show like this was a first for the people of the town. She was excited for it, and the fact that they showed up so soon after she and Tyce had begun dating somehow made it feel like the whole thing had been specially timed just for them. Lyra had no doubt that this was a day she would remember for the rest of her life. It was hard to believe that before her date, she had something even more important to do.

Before meeting up with Tyce, she was going to see Geneon.

#RadiantEpcoh JRPG Fantasy SciFi Novel WebNovel Teenage Love Romance Drama

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creightonbeatrice1994 · 4 years

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heartslogos · 7 years

Text

pull the morning out of the night [83]

Ellana disappears, but it isn’t like before. Not like her other disappearances, no. Ellana disappears without vanishing from sight.

True to her word, the announcement of war echoes all around them. Sentinels - Bull didn’t even realize there were so many - pour out from every corner and are, at all times, drilling, conveying orders, moving equipment and supplies, sending people in and out through eluvians, practicing formations, and talking all at once about everything under the sun. Strategies, rations, negotiations, protection of civilians.

What worries him is that he recognizes too much of it.

Because they aren’t using their elven words anymore to describe the where and when and particulars of it.

More and more, increasingly, they are using Orlesian, Nevarran, Antivan, Tevene, spots of common and Avaar -

The Wolf was right.

These people intend to go to war directly on top of their homes.

Ellana is frequently seen among them. This is another side of her he has not known, until now. Ellana of before was isolated, whimsical and selfish in her own ways - closed off purposefully, kept at heel by the Wolf himself. Ellana, before, was always seen in comparison to that larger, looming figure. The little wolf that would someday become the Wolf.

But now, Ellana is the only Wolf here, and she shines surprisingly well. Ellana was taught to fight in wars, and somewhere along the way she was also taught how to plan them out as well. Ellana, for all that he knows of her as a creature that runs and snaps and hides and defends its small corner, is now showing that she can lead.

It’s a shame, the Iron Bull thinks with a steady burn that he wills to hold steady, that she cannot do the same for them.

Ellana’s leadership, when it comes to her own house hold, Bull is not afraid to say, has been fucked up and faulty as hell. Is there supposed to be a difference between a house hold and a country? An army?

“Dorian thinks we can send the message soon,” Dalish tells him, softly. He glances down at her.

“What about the power?” He asks.

“He thinks we can use the singing bone,” Dalish says, “Reverse the siphon and redirect it. That and with all the chaos of this - he thinks it would be a perfect distraction. Besides. Better now than never. A war is about to be dumped right on top of them, and I imagine the Inquisition already has their hands full dealing with Corypheus, without Arlathan using Thedas as a war ground.”

“There is no preparing for this,” The Iron Bull points out. They have not yet seen what these elves are capable of, not really. But he knows what they are capable of doing on their own. The Iron Bull has seen and felt Ellana strike out. Unintentionally.

He does not know what she and hers are capable of doing in a concentrated effort.

Dalish just looks at him.

The Iron Bull wants to find it in him to be angry with her for all of her secrets and cover ups. But ultimately, he isn’t.

He just nods.

“Do what you need to and let me know what I can do,” He tells her instead.

They all have their own reasons for lying. Dalish is a good woman. She’s a Charger. He knows where her loyalty is.

The Sentinels have outfitted them with new armor, new weapons. And they are training them how to use them.

“I doubt that the Ascendant and her house will be called to the front lines,” Sentinel Huriel says, “But that doesn’t mean that the fight wont try to come to you.”

It goes unspoken that no one here expects them to survive any of this.

This is a war meant to be fought on an entirely different scale.

“And where is the Wolf?” Varric asked.

“With the Crafter, still, negotiating,” they were answered, “He might not make it back here before the fighting actually begins. He may to to the lines directly, if that is how it unfolds.”

Bull is uncomfortably reminded of watching the soldiers of the Qun prepare for war.

As Bull is in the middle of helping some sentinels move equipment onto a cart, Compassion flickers at the edge of his mind -

She calls. Will you go?

Bull half turns and sees Ellana lingering by the edge of an eluvian, she meets his eye and then disappears through it.

He is of half a mind not to go. But the familiar burning, steady irritation and anger and annoyance and flat out impatience, has long reached its edge.

Bull finishes loading and follows.

He recognizes this place, on the other side. It’s where Ellana dragged him before - after that night of screams; when she told him those three sentences.

This time, Ellana does not touch him, or search for injury.

She stands and looks at him and says, “I did not think you would follow.”

“I had a mind not to,” Bull admits.

“I would not be upset with you if you didn’t,” Ellana says, “It was beyond wrong of me, what I did to all of you. There is no apology I could give, no action I could take to earn forgiveness. But I give it to you regardless, I apologize. It is worth nothing. I give it. There is no action I could offer, I will offer what I can. I was not myself. It is not an excuse.”

“And yet you give it anyway,” Bull says. “You have crossed too many lines, gone far beyond what I would ever tolerate from a contract. You tried to break into our minds.”

“Yes.”

“I do not trust you,” The Iron Bull says.

Ellana closes her eyes and nods.

“You do not get to say anything to that,” The Iron Bull says, “I do not trust you with them. I do not trust you with any of them. Not even Varric or Pavus, they aren’t even mine. But I don’t trust you with them. I made each of those Chargers a promise, a contract. I protect them, I look out for them. I told them to pick you because it would keep them safe. Because you told me that it was the best option. And now I have no options to give them. You are marching them into a war that none of us understand and expecting us to take it all on less than faith.”

“I know,” Ellana says. “And I am ashamed. I did not know what we would be led into. If I had known - “

“Do not bullshit me into saying you would have done it differently.” Bull snaps, “I’ve seen the things you do. You regret nothing of your actions. You would do it all the same. You’re only sorry because you can’t figure out a way to make me put up with it.”

Ellana’s eyes meet his and she looks away again.

He wants to shake her. He wants to shake her until all the answers fall out of her, then he wants to run.

Whether he takes her with him or not when he runs is still up for debate. She could be a useful tool. But she is also a dangerous target.

And again -

She is a dangerous ally.

“I have nothing to offer you any longer,” Ellana says, “But the contract between us holds, binds. Even if you and yours disavow it, I will honor it. I will hold it.”

“Why?” The Iron Bull demands, “And how? Because thus far honoring it, by your definition, seems to be keeping us in the dark and then lashing out at us in ways we can’t defend against when we try to find our own answers, our own way. There is no way, there was never any way for us to even attempt to hold up our end, was there?”

Ellana shrinks back and closes her eyes, caught.

“If we never went - if things were just a few years earlier, or perhaps later,” Ellana says.

“Excuses,” The Iron Bull sneers.

“Excuses,” Ellana nods.

“And what excuse are you going to give me now?” He asks.

“Not an excuse,” Ellana says, “Not even a promise - not one you will believe coming from me. I don’t deserve your trust or your faith or even your belief. I am trying to earn it, but I am failing. You want something from me - some grand reveal of an answer that I cannot give aside from what I have already given you. You want more of Mahanon, of Lavellan, of before. You want what I am becoming, what has been placed within me. One I cannot speak of because it hurts too deeply and the other because the knowledge is forbidden by every law. But there is this - “

Ellana, then, suddenly - gracefully and simply - kneels. No, prostrates herself.

The Iron Bull steps back, again, startled and confused by this twist.

Ellana prostrates herself in front of him, forehead to the ground, fingers touching in front of her head, “I, Ellana - formerly of Lavellan, currently of Solas - pledge myself to the Iron Bull and the Iron Bull’s Chargers, Dorian Pavus of Minrathous, and Varric Tethras of Kirkwall. I swear it.”

#heartsfic #gather your party and venture forth

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woodrokiro · 7 years

Text

years past. (fic)

FANDOM:Bleach

PAIRING: IchiRuki

SUMMARY: “They say my mother used to smile more. Is that the truth?” Inspired by @deathberryprompts‘ prompt that had to include the words “knife, bridge, and truth). Follows the events following the manga ending, loosely.

“They say my mother used to smile more. Is that the truth?”

She is too much like her damn mother: inquisitive, blunt, honest. Innocent to the point that he can’t find himself able to lie to her.

(Sometimes when he imagines that none of it really happened, that the future wasn’t really the future at all, that he’ll wake up with her in his arms–sometimes he wonders if he’s just talking to a reflection of her.)

– When Kazui becomes a teenager, Ichigo sees Ichika more and more often.

Which is funny, considering he hardly sees his son in any case. Since he and Orihime divorced a few years ago, Kazui only sees his father one weekend every month and has insinuated to prefer it that way. Regardless of how much he may look like him, no matter that his mother left Ichigo with nothing but a lovingly firm I found someone who loves me more note– Kazui is his mother’s son, through and through. And Ichigo really does understand. The way Uryuu treats Orihime is not lost on either son nor father: how much he loves her, how much more he could ever give Orihime than a hollow I love you because you love me. There was never a competition.

Ichigo is thankful his son doesn’t refuse to see him. He’s just a bit concerned about the girl from Death that follows after.

He’s not stupid, and he’s been through this himself–he knows what the fuck is up. He sees how his son looks at her, how he stares down at his shoes with a “‘K bye,” when she has to leave, how sour he is when he tells his father he hasn’t seen her in awhile.

(He’s also seen the terrible, I-mean-god-awful Shakespearean sonnets hidden in the boy’s closet about red hair and violet eyes, and begins to think maybe he really does have some Kurosaki in him.)

And really, Ichigo would just like to avoid this girl, avoid inwardly scowling at the way he knows she will unintentionally hurt his son. He is always sure to say a courteous hello… But. Well–there is also the fact that it is so damn hard to look at her.

Unfortunately, on the weekends she stays it seems she suffers the same insomnia that Ichigo has. That her mother had.

He’s reading a book when she shuffles out in one of Kazui’s shirts (he beats down the inner Isshin wailing inside of him), blearily rubbing her eyes and yawning, halting suddenly when she sees him. They stare at each other–violet to amber eyes–and Ichigo is reminded of so many moments so, so long ago.

“… Hi, Mr. Kurosaki. Um,” she begins shifting foot to foot. “I was just…. Is there anything to eat?”

The kids devoured the rest of the leftovers he made earlier in the night, so there really wasn’t anything but the basics. Regardless, he can never discredit either Yuzu or Orihime for teaching him how to be a good host– so he gets up with a gruff "sure" and moves his way toward the kitchen.

It’s… Awkward, to say the least. Neither are quite sure what to say to each other, how to start the “I am the father to your is-he-isn’t-he boyfriend” or “I may or may not be fornicating with your son” conversation. The only sound is Ichika occasionally shifting in her chair at the kitchen island behind him, the continuous chop of Ichigo’s knife against the vegetables for a stir fry. And Ichigo’s okay with that, he really is, he doesn’t want to start a conversation with this personified representation of a whole world that he will never, ever get back because of some damn rules saying he can’t–

“So… You and my mom were close?”

A pause of the knife against the cutting board before it starts again. “You can say that,” he finally mumbles.

“Well, she was the one who named me Ichika.”

“That was after Orihime.”

He hears her snort behind him. “Sure, ‘Ichika’ from ‘Orihime Inoue’ over 'Ichigo?’ OKAY.”

He looks back behind him at her smug expression, and he can’t help it despite himself–he grins back. “Yeah, maybe I didn’t get that either.”

She laughs, and it’s almost exactly like Rukia’s that he–no. It’s different. It’s a different person. “So…? What’s the real story?”

He shrugs, turning back to his cooking as he tries not to remember dark ebony hair through his fingers, the morning light that fell over an elegant backside, kissing down the cobble stone bridge of a spine–

“We were very close friends. Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, why aren’t you now?”

“We see each other every now and then.”

“The last time I can remember is when Kazui and I were kids. When we first met, like, nine years ago.”

He’s getting impatient. “Look, Ichika, is there something you’re getting at or…?”

When he looks back, she’s carefully observing him, her fidgety nature (definitely from her father he thinks wryly) all but gone as she observes him with those damned eyes. “No, absolutely not. I’m just wondering why my mother and the man she named me after haven’t seen each other for near ten years and she’s about as likely to talk about you as you are about her.”

He doesn’t say anything, just turns back to his cooking. So she hasn’t told her anything either, huh? Figures.

Ichika clearly catches the tone of the room. The silence is only broken by her soft “thank you” when he gives her the plate, but he doesn’t much hear it. He’s already on his way to his bedroom.

—

Despite himself, he really begins to like the kid.

More weekends come and pass, and every time he finds himself making her a meal at two, three, sometimes four am while Kazui is still asleep.

They start to have have much lighter conversations, thankfully. Ichigo will ask how Soul Society is holding up, what the new policies are like, whether Kenpachi is still a crazy son of a bitch. She’ll sometimes ask about the human world, but he has a feeling these questions are more reserved for his son. Instead she usually asks him about himself.

What was he like as a kid? What were the adventures with her mother like?. She’s more respectful on the subject of Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship itself, only strangely asking whether it was true her mother smiled more once (to which he shrugged because? He guessed? Rukia smiled often from what he saw, but he thought it was only at his ridiculous teenage antics); otherwise, she didn’t broach more on what they were like she did the first night.

Then Kazui graduated high school.

She attended the ceremony with his parents and stepfather–quiet for once, much different than the wild and free caring girl he had ever witnessed before. He got to witness the strange relationship between she and Orihime: an evident respect, and yet a wary sadness on Orihime’s part. He can guess what his ex wife is thinking; but he chooses not to acknowledge it, only smiles at her agreeably as she squeezes his arm with a watery smile.

He was absolutely not prepared for the conversation awaiting him at 12:37 am tonight.

He comes out from a late practice in the clinic to find her waiting for him, per usual, at the kitchen island. He snorts, shakes his head as he wanders over the fridge, prepared to make a scramble or something, as long as it doesn’t have onions because she’s made it pretty clear she hates onions–

“Your son proposed to me, Mr. Kurosaki. I said yes.”

He turns. She babbles on, looking at a point over his head. “He’s going to ask for your blessing in the morning, when I’m conveniently asleep, but I thought I’d warn you. He’ll ask my dad in a few days, when he gathers up that courage. My mother he’s saving for last. He already asked Mrs. Ishida, and she gave her–well, somewhat of a blessing. I think she’s scared, but honestly? We both are, and we’re really asking for the support of our loved ones to back us up on it. We don’t really know how we’re going to do it, but we know we love each other and–”

“It’s not possible.”

She takes his pale complexion and his wild eyes, concerned. “Mr. Kurosaki…?”

“No. No, fuck this–excuse me. I’m sorry, I’m just–I don’t mean to be rude. But it was never possible before, how do you expect…? Look, it’s obvious I like you, Ichika. It’s obvious you make my son happy, and you’re a good girl, and there’s a reason I make you meals in the day or this late at night or let you sleep over in Kazui’s room against any sane fatherly reasoning, but this has gone too far. These are silly notions in both of your heads, and trust me I tried to… I tried to do something very similar to you, I fucking tried–”

“Mr. Kurosaki.”

“But there’s no way Soul Society’s going to up and allow it. There’s no way I’m going to allow it to break my son’s heart like it did mine. There’s no way that this was okay when it was the whole reason she wouldn’t–she didn’t–”

“Mr. Kurosaki, I’m sorry but I’m not my mother.”

And when he glances up at her, really just looks at her he thinks she might be lying because that’s all he sees in that serious expression–

And for the first time in years, he loses it.

Just crumbles, slides down the fridge bad-knees-be-damned. Allows this moment to fucking grieve for past mistakes, for the soft smiles he never again got to wake up to, for the ridiculous dancing-in-the-kitchen married moments life didn’t give him, for the tearful goodbyes while he stood by and did nothing, just let life screw him over for an excuse as simple that he was tired. Always tired, and for what? For her daughter with another man to tell him it was all for nothing?

He feels her sit with him, there on the linoleum floor of his kitchen, feels her cool touch as her hand rests against his shoulder. Neither say anything for awhile, and he is thankful.

“Mr. Kurosaki,” she finally starts when the worst of his moment has passed. She stops shortly before starting again. “Have you ever wondered why Kazui and I have aged the same?”

Of course he had. He’s sure it’s boggled Mayuri from a distance for years. He doesn’t respond.

“Of course, we have too… And we don’t really have an answer either. Kazui says it’s some red string of fate, like soul mates or whatever–you know him, he’s such a romantic–but you know… Who knows? I’m not sure, but it must be something like that. Something in both life and death is telling us we need to exist together.”

He rubs a tired hand over his eyes. “That’s great, Ichika, but I don’t–”

“My mother and father separated years ago. He still looks like he’s nineteen… But she began to age, visibly. She looks about the same age as you.”

He stills, heart dropping to his stomach. When was the last time he saw Rukia? He guesses it hadn’t been since he saw her when the kids met; every time after, they both claimed they were too busy, but…. He hadn’t thought she looked much older last time?

(Really, she looked to him as breathtaking as all the times before.)

“My father still loves her, you know. Always will,” she continues, “They’re still good friends, but… I think he just couldn’t stand by and watch that anymore, you know? And she’s kind to a fault. She didn’t want that for him, so she just stood there when he moved his stuff out and I watched it all and for awhile I hated her. Couldn’t stand the thought that I might’ve been a mistake in this whole scheme of things. And I know–I know that’s not true. Soul Society puts up a big fuss about knowing everything, but there are just the some things that the universe chooses to happen and souls to be born and it’s nobody’s fault. If you hadn’t married Mrs. Ishida, Kazui wouldn’t be alive. If my mother and father hadn’t married, I wouldn’t have been born, and neither of us would be here and this big beautiful mess would’ve been a lot freaking simpler, wouldn’t it?”

She laughs a watery laugh, and fuck it– Ichigo may not have been the best he wanted to be in his life, but he is still a father, through and through. He ruffles her hair as she takes a moment.

“But we’re here, you know? I have Kazui. I still have my parents who love me, unconditionally. You’re a pseudo-dad, albeit a weirdo one, so I hope I have you. At this point, I just want to be with your son. And I…” She looks at him, and–isn’t this the pattern?–he’s momentarily shattered.

“I just want to see what it looks like for my mother to smile like she used to.”

…

The Soul Society wedding is stupidly lavish, all credit due to Ichika’s asshole uncle.

Ichigo tries to swallow his pride and grumble to himself that really, the living world ceremony was much better, much more personal–but whatever, let Byakuya have this. He was already so damned protective of Rukia, he can only imagine how the Kuchiki was with his niece.

Still, considering the time it’s been since he’s saved the world and Soul Society and all that, it was nice to be invited, to be so sincerely welcomed by old friends. He said his hellos to each of the captains (excluding Kenpachi– he was still actively hiding from that friend as long as he could), promised a drink later with Ikkaku and Iba’s gang. Renji even gave him a hard clap on the back, making him swear father to father that the two of them would embarrass their children later at the reception.

He sees her from a distance, from the corner of his eye. Of course he does: how could he not? And yeah she looks a bit older, he can see the slightest wrinkle whenever he chances a glance, but–honestly? There’s not much of a difference.

Not much that he cares about, anyway.

He sucks in a breath, pulls together his courage enough to approach her as the crowd transitioned from ceremony to reception.

And when she turns around to look at him…. It’s so stupid and sounds so much like the shoujo manga his sister used to read when they were kids, but he feels like he’s fifteen again. Her eyes watch him carefully as he shuffles and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

“So… Byakuya sure helped make a nice ceremony, huh?”

A quick beat passes before she snorts. “Fool,” she says, rolling her eyes, “I should hope it’s nice wedding. It’s your son’s, for God’s sake.”

“Yeah, and your daughter’s, so what about it? Can’t I say one nice thing to you without starting an argument?!”

“Of course you can, but I didn’t like the attitude behind it! It’s like you were saying Nii-sama would create anything but a stunning ceremony for our children!”

“Okay, I wouldn’t say stunning, a little over the top if you ask me–”

“Well thank goodness no one’s asking you, then!” She’s huffing and puffing and the hair in her elegant coif is coming out in loose strands and how could he ever help being in love with her?

“It’s not fair,” he blabbers before he can help himself. He shuts his mouth as she looks at him strangely.

“What was that?”

He considers his options. He could lie. Say he was talking about something else. Continue on with the joke about the stupid ceremony. Tease her mercilessly about the stupidly ornate little baubles in her hair, the elegant layers of kimono that don’t suit her at all–

But fuck it. He spent twenty plus years wasting his time.

“It’s not fair… For you. That I told you so.” He answers honestly, gesturing around him.

She stares at him for a terrifying moment, and he’s afraid that maybe he didn’t get it or maybe she understood all too well–

And then she smiles.

#deathberryprompts #deathberry100 #ichiruki #my stuff #bleach #in which I turn this ending into a fucking shoujo

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