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#uh oh hubris alert
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when you and your brain demon have matching brain issues <3
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waitimcomingtoo · 2 months
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Just to Learn That You Never Cared
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Synopsis: always leaving class together to go fight crime leads people to think you’re dating when in reality you’re barely even friends. That is, until you agree to fake a relationship to keep your secret life a secret
requested/idea by @usoppsstar
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“Oh, hey. Your girlfriend left this in class.” One of Peter’s classmates said as he tossed Peter a hoodie.
“Oh. Thanks.” Peter said before realizing what the person had said. He turned the hoodie over in his hands and recognized it as yours. His face warmed up in a blush when he realized you had just been mistaken for his girlfriend. He shoved the hoodie into his bag and wondered if he should tell you or not.
Peter saw you later that night on a rooftop you frequented often. You were in your suit, as was he, but had your mask sitting beside you. You were munching on a bag of chips and wordlessly extended them to him when he landed on the rooftop beside you. He smiled graciously and took a few before sitting down next to you. Your knees were touching but neither of you moved away.
“You left this in physics, dingus.” Peter said and handed you your hoodie.
“Oh, thanks. We had to run out of there so fast to save that lady. I must’ve left it behind.” You smiled gratefully and pulled it over your head. Peter felt bad that his high tech suit had built in heaters and your homemade suit was probably leaving you freezing every night. He wanted to suggest sharing his warmth, but he didn’t want to overstep.
“I know. Thank God she called the police on those kids for selling lemonade without a permit. I’m really glad we left a test to go witness that heinous crime.”
“It’s not all bad. We did get to see the cops arrest her for wasting their time by making a fake police report, which is always satisfying. And the kids gave us free lemonade. But I think calling it “homemade” was bullshit. I know Minute Maid when I taste it.” You replied, making Peter chuckle.
“You’re right. Both those things were enjoyable.” Peter agreed. “But I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I feel like we have to leave class every other day.”
“I know. Why did we have to pick a college in such a Karen ridden neighborhood?” You sighed.
“Because we wanted to go to the good school with the good science program. We should’ve known the neighborhood would be full of bored housewives who call the police whenever they have a minor complaint. It was our own hubris.”
“It was.” You chuckled and said looked over at him. You exchanged soft smiles before you looked over at the city horizon. Peters eyes never left you and he cleared his throat to get your attention.
“So, uh, my aunt and I were gonna get Chinese food later. At the place that got shut down for being a front for money laundering but that was really just a front for a second Chinese food chain.”
“Oh, I love that place.”
“Yeah. It’s great.” He nodded. “Anyways, you should totally come-“
Peter was cut off by the police radio he wired to his phone going off. He rolled his eyes and checked what the alert was.
“Damn it. Robbery at the bakery on 9th.” He told you.
“Lowkey, I’d do the same. Their cream puffs made me cream.” You said as you put your mask back on.
“Haha, yeah.” Peter chuckled. “Wait, what?”
“You should get some sleep. I’ll handle the robbery. But I’ll catch you tomorrow, Parker. Get home safe.” You saluted him before falling backwards off the building.
“I love you too.” Peter sighed.
“Did you say something?” You asked and popped back up.
“No.” Peter quickly lied.
“Okay. Well, see you tomorrow.” You waved to him and disappeared again. Peter let out another sigh before swinging home.
The next day, you ran after one of your classmates once class was let out.
“Hey, Carly. I emailed you my notes from the class you missed.” You told her.
“Thank you so much. You’re a life saver.” She replied. “Oh, and could you tell your boyfriend that band practice is in the gym today?”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” You agreed. She was about to walk away when you realized what she had said.
“Wait, what am I saying?” You wondered. “Who’s my boyfriend?”
“You know. That guy with the prescription shoes.” Carly answered. You tilted your head in confusion until you realized you knew exactly who she was talking about.
“Wait, Peter?” You laughed in surprise. You expected her to laugh too and reveal she was just kidding but she looked completely serious.
“Oh, right. Peter. Why do I always think his name is Timmy?” Carly wondered.
“Because he looks like a Timmy. He gets it all the time.” You waved your hand. “And his shoes are not prescription. He just bought women’s platform shoes because he wanted to be taller and didn’t think anyone could tell.”
“We can.” Carly mumbled.
“I know.” You agreed. “But, I’m getting off topic. Timmy is not my boyfriend. I mean, Peter is not my boyfriend.”
“Whatever label you guys use, can you tell him that wind ensemble is meeting in the gym instead of the choir room? The sopranos kicked us out again to practice or do drugs or something.” Carly explained. You furrowed your eyebrows at her and tried to figure out if she was joking or not.
“The label? I’m so lost. Who told you that Peter’s my boyfriend?”
“Nobody told me.” She shrugged. “Everyone just knows that you guys are a couple.”
“Well how would they know something that isn’t true?” You asked and folded your arms.
“I mean, it’s not like you guys try to keep it a secret. Between all the whispering and staying close by each other. Plus you’re always sneaking out of class together or showing up late. And if one of you is absent, the other always is too. It’s been like that since high school. People just put two and two together I guess. Why, did you want to to be secret?”
“I didn’t want it to be anything. We’re not even dating.” You insisted and felt like you were going crazy.
“You don’t have to deny it.” Carly laughed. “I know feelings are weird and gross and stuff and you’ve never been the relationship type, but I think this guy is good for you. He brings something out in you. I don’t know. But you guys are cute. I love seeing the nice loser and assertive pretty girl troupe in real life.”
“Oh. Well, thank you.” You calmed down momentarily and smiled a little. Carly walked away and your smile quickly faded when you remembered what she had said. You looked around the hallway and saw another student holding an instrument.
“Hey. Band nerd.” You called out to him.
“Me?” He asked and pointed to himself.
“Yes, you. You had to let go of your saxophone case to point to yourself. Have you seen my boyfriend today?” You asked him.
“Peter? I haven’t seen him since yesterday in-“
“That sentence better not end with “wind ensemble” or I’m gonna lose it.”
“It was wind ensemble.” He said quickly.
“I’m leaving.” You shook your head and walked away from him. You pulled out your phone and went straight to your schools “campus sweethearts” page on instagram. Sure enough, there was a picture of you and Peter sitting next to each other right at the top of the page. You had your head thrown back laughing at something he was saying and he was looking at you fondly. You let out a shocked gasp and before walking out into the courtyard to look for Peter. You spotted him on a bench and smiled.
“Yes. Thank you, small campus”. You pumped your fist and went to sit next to him.
“Oh, hi. I was just thinking about you-“
“Someone is spreading a horrible rumor about you.” You cut him off.
“Oh no.” Peter frowned. “What is it? Is it bad?”
“Horrible.” You shook your head. “Peter, they’re saying you’re in wind ensemble.”
“Oh, I am.” Peter shrugged.
“Huh?”
“I play the clarinet . See. Clarinet.” Peter said and lifted up his little black clarinet case.
“Huh?” You said louder.
“I used to play in high school, pre-bite but post 9/11. I saw a flyer for orchestra on campus so I joined.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” You practically shouted. Peter knew you weren’t happy but felt strangely honored that you were so upset over him not telling you something about her personal life.
“Because I know how you feel about band nerds.” He replied. “And you and I don’t really talk about non-work related things. I didn’t think you’d care.”
“Are you kidding me? Of course I care.” You insisted. “My rumored boyfriend has been in wind ensemble this whole time and I didn’t even know?”
“Wait, rumored boyfriend? Who, me?” Peter asked in surprised.
“So you didn’t know about this either?”
“No. I mean, someone did refer to you as my girlfriend the other day but I thought it was just an accident. People think you and me are dating?” Peter asked and tried not to look as pleased as he felt.
“Apparently. I’ve had multiple people refer to you as my boyfriend today. And look. We’re on the campus couples Instagram page.” You said and held up your phone.
“Ew. We have one of those?” Peter grimaced and took your phone to see the picture better.
“Yeah. I honestly think the principle runs it.” You replied. Peter was quiet as he stared at the picture for a while.
“What?” You wondered.
“Nothing. This just a cute picture of us. And I think the only picture of us.” He said with a shy smile. You frowned and looked at the picture again before realizing he was right.
“Carly said people think we’re dating since we’re always sneaking off together.” You told him. Peter thought out this for a minute and then made another connection.
“Ohhhh.” He said and nodded his head.
“What?”
“This explains why the boys congratulated me on the bus back to New York after the Washington monument trip for losing my virginity at a historic landmark.”
“You lost your virginity on that trip? To who?” You whispered harshly and felt jealousy burning through your veins.
“You, apparently.” He laughed. “You and I disappeared to get the glowy alien egg bomb thing back and I guess everyone assumed we were off desecrating a national monument.”
“Oh my God. That was like 3 years ago.” You realized. “People have thought we were dating this whole time? We need to put a stop to this.”
“Yeah. You’re right. Or…” Peter trailed off and gave you a look.
“Or?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Or, we lean into it.” He suggested. “We let people think it. We encourage it, even.”
“Why would we do that?”
“People have been suspicious about where we go and what we’re doing since high school. We can only fake so many illnesses and I ran out of grandparents to lie about the death of by junior year. So if people already made up a reason, maybe we should let them think that. We don’t have to go out of our way to confirm it but we can keep the assumption going to keep them from finding out what we’re really doing.”
“So you think we should let people think we’re dating so they stop wondering about what we’re always off doing?”
“That’s exactly what I just said, yes.” Peter nodded.
“Hey. Be nicer to your fake girlfriend.” You said and smacked his arm.
“I’m sorry. I will.” Peter blushed and rubbed his arm. You felt bad for hitting him and wrapped both arms around him to rub them up and down. He smiled softly at you and you sat in comfortable silence for a moment.
“You play the clarinet?” You asked after a minute.
“Squidward made it look so cool.” Peter shrugged.
“Did he?” You asked, making Peter laugh.
“No.” He admitted.
The next day, you and Peter walked to school together with the understanding that from then on out, you were going to play the part of a happy couple. You weren’t going to go around announcing it to everyone or anything. You just needed to convince the few that didn’t already believe the rumor and confirm things for the ones who did believe it.
“You ready for this?” You asked Peter as you stepped into campus.
“I think so. Maybe we should hold hands or something. You know, since people think we’re dating.” Peter suggested and tried to make it sound like it didn’t matter to him.
“I guess so.” You shrugged and held out your hand. Peter eagerly took your hand and took note of the way it fit in his like it was made for him.
“This is weird.” You whispered to him, popping his bubble.
“Why? Are my hands sweaty?” He panicked.
“No. Just really, really hot.” You told him. “It’s just weird that nobody seems to care that we’re holding hands right now.”
“I mean, we are just two random people with almost no social presence.”
“That’s true. I guess I just thought people would care more.” You admitted as you looked around the campus. No one was phased by you and Peter, but he was too busy enjoying the moment to realize it.
“Are you disappointed?” He asked you.
“Yeah. I wore my best bra because I thought I’d be getting more attention today.” You frowned and adjusted the strap of your bra.
“It’s okay. I’ll take one for the team and stare at your boobs.” Peter assured you.
“Aw. Thank you.” You gushed and gave his hand a squeeze.
You got to your physics class and sat together at your usual lab table. Peter looked around the classroom while you carried on as usual.
“Maybe I should put my arm around you. You know, to really convince people.” Peter suggested with a shy blush on his face.
“Is that really something people do?” You genuinely wondered. “I feel like I never see couples with their arms around each other.”
“Actually, I don’t think I have either. But let’s try it anyway.” He said and wrapped an arm around you. You scooted closer to him so that you could comfortably lean into him. You quickly realized you didn’t hate it and let out a content sigh.
“Hm.” Peter made a little noise at the back of his throat.
“What?” You asked him.
“Our height difference makes this hurt my shoulder.” He leaned over to whisper in your ear.
“Then move your arm.” You whispered back.
“I can’t. I just wrapped it around you. It’ll look weird if I immediately take it off.” Peter said as he covered behind him to see who was looking.
“Or, consider this. Nobody in this entire city, and dare I say world, cares where your arm is right now.” You whispered harshly.
“Fine. I’ll remove it. But I have to give a reason.” He told you before loudly clearing his throat.
“Ah. Sorry, babe. I can’t cuddle you right now. My arm is sore from band practice.” Peter said loud enough for everyone in the classroom to hear him. You hung your head in shame and heard people murmuring about his strange comment.
“Oh God.” Peter gulped. “People are looking. They’re gonna know something is up. I have to put it back.”
He went to put his arm back around you but you stopped him before he could draw any more attention to the two of you.
“Just do this.” You whispered to him and pulled his stool closer to you and turned towards him a little. Your knees and were touching and you were now facing each other.
“That’s it? No one can even see this.” Peter said in disappointment. He thought being your fake boyfriend would bring you guys closer but you were sitting the way you always sat in class.
“It’s not about what people can see. It’s about proximity.” You explained. “We’re sitting closer together than anyone else is without being egregious about it. It’s a simple touch. If we’ve been together as long as people think we have, we don’t need to be wrapped around each other all the time. A simple touch to let the other know we’re there is all we need.”
Peter was silent as he stared at you following your explanation. He stared for so long that you felt yourself blush under the eye contact.
“What?” You asked him.
“I like the way you explain things.” Peter said simply. You quickly looked down so he wouldn’t see the effect that comment had on you and took a moment to collect yourself.
“It’s just something I thought of.” You shrugged.
“I know. But I never would have thought of that. Especially not as naturally as it did for you. You’re so quick.”
“Thank you.” You laughed shyly and found yourself unable to look away from him. Peter opened his mouth to say something to keep the momentum rolling but his phone interrupted him.
“Shoot. Sus-tivity on the b bridge.” He whispered.
“What the hell does that mean?” You asked at full volume.
“It means there’s suspicious activity on the Brooklyn bridge.” He rolled his eyes. “We have to act fast so I didn’t have time to say the whole thing.”
“But you just said the whole thing. And the abridged version. So it took twice as long.”
“Shh.” He waved his hand. “We gotta go.”
You reluctantly collected your things and took Peter’s hand to pull him out of his seat. Peter followed you out the classroom but the teacher cleared her throat when you walked by.
“And where are you two going?” She asked. You and Peter exchanged looks as the class snickered and murmured their theories about what exactly you were heading off to do.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Pepper. My girlfriend and I have to leave class unexpectedly. Please excuse us. It’s urgent.” Peter’s said politely.
“I bet it’s urgent, Parker.” A boy snickered, making serval classmates laugh.
“Gross.” You wrinkled your noses and looked at the boys in disdain.
“Fine.” The teacher sighed. “The only reason I don’t write you two up for skipping so often is because you somehow have the best grades in the class. Go on. Just get the homework done.”
“We will.” You assured her before leaving the room with Peter. Peter noticed that you didn’t drop his hand even when you were alone in the hallway.
“Hey, you know that teachers name is Dr. Zhang and not Dr. Pepper, right?” You asked him.
“Oh my God.” Peter gasped. “Is it really? I’ve emailed her so many times and said “Dear Dr. Pepper”. We have to drop out.”
You laughed and held his hand the rest of the way out of the building.
That night, Peter laid in his bed with his phone held close to his face. He had been trying to figure out what to text you to let you know he had been thinking of you.
“I had fun fighting crime with you today” He wrote out. He read it over before scrunching his nose.
“No. Too cringe. She is not gonna fall in love with someone that says “fighting crime”. I’m not Paw Patrol.” He said like it was obvious. He deleted his text and thought of another one.
“I had a good time today, we make a good team” He wrote out instead. He read it a few times until he found issue with it.
“Oh, you had a good time stopping those break dancers that were obstructing that Sbarro? That’ll catch her attention.” Peter said sarcastically and deleted the text.
“have a goodnight :)” He typed out and then shook his head.
“No. Wayyyy too horny.” He sighed and deleted it again.
“night” He wrote out and read it a few times.
“This is good. I can work with this.” He nodded. He was about to workshop it when a text from you popped up.
“pick a color” It said. Peters heart skipped a beat at the vague message and replied with the first color that popped into his head.
“blue”
“thank u” You wrote back within seconds. Peters heart stopped pounded and the disappointment that the conversation was over settled in. After all these years of fighting crime together, you two never really managed to make it past the coworkers stage. He was desperate for more but never knew how to get there.
“no homo but I had fun fighting crime with you today” You suddenly texted again. A smile tugged at Peter’s lips and he touched his as if it were your face.
“ok paw patrol” He wrote back. Back in your room, you were laughing at his text and trying to think of a witty reply.
“ur mad bc you know I’m the chase 🐶” You texted him.
“if ur the Chase then who am I?”
“plssss ur such a marshall” You wrote back.
“but that’s the third most important dog :(“ Peter replied.
“well yes but he’s cute and wears red so the little paw patrol shoe fits” You answered. A blush painted Peters cheeks over you calling him cute but he didn’t want to read too much into it.
“Im wearing red right now😳” He texted back.
“oh I bet you are” You answered, making him laugh. He kept the conversation going for about an hour before duty called once again. Peter groaned and put his suit on before swinging to the scene of the crime. He met you there and stopped the crime before stopping on a nearby rooftop to rest.
“These burglars aren’t very considerate of our sleep schedules. Who robs a Jersey Mikes after midnight? Or, like, ever?” Peter huffed as he tugged his mask off.
“I know. They’re always at inconvenient times. I was in the middle of painting my nails.”
“Can I see?” He asked in a soft voice. You pulled your gloves off and held out your hand for him to see.
“Look. Blue. But I only got half way through before Mike’s was targeted.”
“It’s okay. They still look pretty.” Peter complimented you with a soft smile.
“Thanks. You picked a good color.” You replied.
“What do you mean?” He frowned.
“I told you to pick a color. This is why.” You explained and held out your hand again. His eyes lit up at this new information and he took your hand to see your nails closer.
“You let me chose your nail color?” He smiled fondly.
“Well I didn’t know what to chose so I thought I’d ask the audience.” You shrugged and felt shy all of the sudden.
“Oh. And I’m the target audience, huh?” Peter smirked and turned towards you.
“I never said target.” You teased him and shoved him shoulder.
“I must be hearing things, then.” He shrugged as you both smiled.
“Yeah. Must be.” You said in a soft voice as you stared into his eyes. Peter gulped before making a bold move and taking your hand again under the guise of looking at your nails.
“Look at you. You even got my favorite shade.” He noted.
“You like “Eating For Blue”?” You pretended to gasp.
“Is that really the name of the color?” He laughed.
“Uh huh. It was apart of Essie’s baby fever collection. I almost chose “All In Blue Time” but that’s one tends to get little air bubbles and they give me agida. And I used to have “A Dream Come Blue” but it rolled under the sink so it belongs to the dust bunnies now.” You shrugged as you checked out your nails.
“Wow. This is all new information to me. So, are all nail polish colors named after puns and wordplay?” He asked as he stared into your eyes. He didn’t really care, but he was finally getting somewhere with you and didn’t want it to end.
“In my experience, yes. Not always color related wordplay but always something that makes you go yeah, I guess this shade of beige is what the word “ladylike” would be as a color.”
“This is blowing my mind right now.” Peter chuckled.
“You mean blue-ing your mind.” You corrected and tapped the side of your head.
“I think you inhaled too many of those fumes. Because that was not funny.” Peter said through a laugh.
“What?” You pretended to be offended. “You’re literally laughing right now. I’m so funny.”
“You are.” Peter admitted when his laughter died down. You stared into eyes for a minute before smiling.
“Is that what you rumored saw in me?” You asked him.
“Probably.” He chuckled. “I also heard a rumor that I think you’re really pretty. Like, the prettiest girl I was ever rumored to have allegedly seen.”
“Now you’re the one who’s looney from the fumes because that’s a straight up lie. I know you’ve seen prettier girls because I was standing right next to you when Anne Hathaway left that diner.” You said without making eye contact with him. Things were moving a little too fast and you needed it hit the brakes for a second.
“Oh, yeah. You’re right.” Peter forced a laugh and awkwardly looked over at the cityscape when he realized you were politely telling him to pull back.
“But I appreciate it.” You said after a beat of silence.
“Of course. Sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking saying that.” He laughed nervously. “I was just getting caught up in the fake dating. We’ve been doing it for so long that it felt real.”
“We only started this morning.” You reminded him.
“Right. Well, it’s late. I’m gonna go home.” He said quickly and stood up. He had just blown that and needed to leave as quickly as possible.
“Okay. Goodnight. See you at school.” You called after him. Peter swung home with tears in his eyes and went straight to bed, missing your text about having fun fighting another crime.
The next day at school, Peter decided to start over and push last night from his mind. He played the part of your boyfriend to the best of his abilities and opened every door, pulled out every seat, and carried ever book for you all day long. Then he did it the next day, and the day after that. He kept his mouth shut about his feelings day in and day out no matter how painful it was getting. You and Peter had finally moved past the coworker stage and become real friends so he didn’t want to sabotage it all by telling you that he spent his days wishing for more.
“What are your plans tonight?” You asked him one day as you walked out of class together.
“My aunt is going out with her friends so I was probably gonna watch a movie on my couch. But on my laptop with my earbuds in. Likely in my boxers. Likely with an entire package of Twizzlers. Why?”
“Well I was gonna suggest that we hang out but you sound booked.”
“Really? You want to hang out?” Peter asked with much more enthusiasm than he intended.
“If you want. I’m not doing anything as exciting as boxers and Twizzlers.”
“I would love to. I’ll put on pants for you. I promise.”
“Sounds good.” You laughed. “Text me your address, okay?”
“Sure. Or you could walk with me now. Unless you’re tired of me and need a break before we hang out.” Peter suggested as you left campus together.
“It’s funny you say that. I was just telling my mom the other day that I never get tired of you.” You said casually.
“You..you don’t?” Peter’s face heated up as he followed you down the sidewalk.
“I don’t. I usually need a break from other people if we’ve been together awhile but it’s different with you. It doesn’t feel like I’m using my social battery if that makes sense.“
“It makes sense.” He smiled shyly as your hands bumped against each others. He was about to make a bold move and take your hand despite no one being around but you suddenly moved it to hit the crosswalk button.
Back at Peter’s apartment, he awkwardly gave you a tour and wished he had picked up his clothes before leaving the house that morning. You didn’t seem to mind the socks and boxers strewn across his room because you were too focused on all the little things he kept on his shelves. You picked up a picture frame of your freshman year high school class that had you and Peter seated right next to each other. Your friendship had only just begun so you often forgot how long you knew him for.
“So this is your room.” You smiled and put the picture back.
“Yup. This is where the magic happens.” Peter said and immediately cringed at himself.
“Oh really?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah. This is where I practice magic. Wanna see?” He asked and picked up a deck of cards. You laughed and went over to take one.
“Is your card the ace of spades?” He asked.
“Queen of hearts.” You snorted and turned the card around.
“You’re the queen of my heart.” He whispered.
“Did you say something?” You asked as you looked at all his Legos.
“I asked what you wanted to do tonight.” He lied.
“I don’t know. We have the place to ourselves. We could do something rated R.” You said with a coy smile.
“Like what?” Peter gulped.
“Watch an R rated movie, you perv. Your aunt isn’t here to stop you.”
“You remember me telling you that I’m not allowed to watch R rated movies in the living room anymore?” Peter blushed at you remembering something he had randomly told you long ago.
“Are you referring to the time you watched Tusk at full volume while she had her friends from work over for the first time? How could I forget?”
“In my defense, I didn’t know what the movie was about. And I didn’t think her friends were gonna come into the living room and see that guy getting turned into a walrus.”
“Yeah, the title and cover art gave no indication that the movie would end that way. But that’s not a bad idea actually. Let’s watch something scary.”
“Okay.” Peter agreed and followed you out into the living room. He turned off the lights and got some snacks while you picked a movie. He hated scary movies but he was not about to tell you that. Instead, he sat on the couch beside you as a respectful distance and handed you a bag of chips. As the movie went on, you got closer and closer to each other. Peter had never really seen you scared before but you were practically in his lap just 40 minutes into the movie. You reached into the bag of chips at the same time as Peter and your fingers touched. You both froze and looked at each other as your faces heated up.
“Shit. I’m not wearing a condom.” Peter sighed, making you yank your hand out and laugh.
“You’re stupid.” You laughed and turned back to the movie just as a jump-scare happened. You screamed and jumped closer to Peter.
“This is so scary. Why did I pick this movie?” You asked as you drew your knees up and leaned into his side.
“Yeah, same.” He replied, not even listening. He couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. You were cuddled into his side with your head on his shoulder and knees in his lap with a blanket drawn up to your nose. He knew you were only cuddling him because you were scared but it didn’t even matter at that point. The movie went quiet for a minute and then made a loud sound, sending you to burry your face into Peter’s neck.
“Tell me when it’s safe to come out.” You whispered into his ear. Peter gulped and wrapped an arm around you to fully protect you from the movie.
“I will.” He said in a soft voice. You peaked your head out a few minutes later but stayed nestled into Peter’s side. You realized his arm was around you and smiled a little.
“Oh, this isn’t so bad.” You shrugged as the main character got eaten alive.
“I don’t understand you.” Peter chuckled and looked down at you. You laughed as well as you looked into his eyes. He was about to say something when another sharp sound from the movie caused you to jump.
“Hold my hand.” You blurted and grabbed his hand. Peter happily accepted and clasped your hand before holding it under his chin. You stayed in that position for a long time and watched the movie. You were both so focused on the screen that you didn’t hear May opening the front door and coming in.
“Hey. I’m home.” She said, making you both scream.
“Oh, hi May.” Peter greeted while he realized it was just her.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Parker. I’m-“
“I know.” She smirked. “I’ll just be in my room. But, Peter?”
“Yeah?”
“No going in your room with the door closed, okay? I’m home. And we have thin walls. Just keep that in mind.” She said, making Peter turn bright red.
“Got it, May.” He mumbled. She winked at you and disappeared into her bedroom.
“You told your aunt we were dating?” You whispered to Peter in confusion.
“No.” Peter answered honestly. “I guess she just assumed we were.”
“Wow. She’s just like the kids at school.” You shook your head. “I don’t get it. Why does everyone think we’re dating?”
“I mean…” Peter trailed off and looked down at your clasped hands. You hadn’t realized you were still cuddling and quickly jumped off of him. Peters heart sank and the longer he sat in the absence of your body heat, the more upset he felt.
“You just jumped off of me like I was sharp.” He said without looking at you.
“I didn’t want your aunt to see us cuddling and think-“
“And think what?” He snapped, cutting you off. You gutted your head back in surprise and let out a nervous laugh.
“Woah. What’s going on with you? She already knows about your secret life. We don’t have any reason to pretend we’re dating in front of her.”
Peter stared at you for a long time as the word “pretend” cut into him like a knife. Every time he thought you were going somewhere, he was reminded that it didn’t actually mean anything to you.
“Yeah. You’re right.” He mumbled and looked at the movie again. You kept your eyes on him and felt guilty. You had so much to say to him but you felt unable to speak.
“Peter-“
“I don’t think we should pretend to date anymore.” He blurted, cutting you off once again. Your eyebrows went up in surprise and you got a sick feeling in your tummy that you had just ruined something really important.
“What? Why not?”
“It’s stupid. No one even cares anymore.” He shrugged. “We don’t have to fake a breakup or anything but I don’t want to hold hands or play along anymore. I’m done.”
“What changed?” You asked in a soft voice. He was still looking at the movie while you were fully turned to face him.
“Nothing changed. That’s the problem.” He said and angrily got off the couch. You quickly caught his hand and he stopped. He looked down at the ground and let out a sigh. He knew it wasn’t fair to be mad at you if he hadn’t told you what was wrong. He slowly turned around and looked at you.
“Five years ago, you showed up to the same robbery at an all night CVS that I was at and I realized we knew each other from AP Spanish class because I had asked you earlier that day how to conjugate “poner” and you said “pusiste” and I laughed because I thought you were joking but you weren’t and then that night you heard me tell the burglar that he better“pusiste” the money back into the register.“ Peter began.
“Okay. Wow. That was a really long sentence.” You laughed softly. “But I remember that. I laughed and told you that you better remember that for the test.”
“You did. That’s how I knew it was you.” He smiled at the memory. “I failed that test, by the way. I still can’t conjugate “poner.” And I still think it means “boner” even though I know it’s a verb. But anyway, that night, I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited to have met you. Even though we technically already knew each other, that night put us in each others radars. I could not believe that I had met my match. You’re into science like me and sarcastic like me and you understand this side of my life because you have the same side. But despite running into each other on patrol almost nightly and seeing each other around school, I barely got you to notice me. I don’t think you even knew my name until we ended up going the same college. You called me “Timmy” all throughout high school.”
“You seriously look like one. It’s uncanny. I don’t know what it is.”
“I thought things would change when I found out we were going to the same college. The campus is so small I figured there’s no way we wouldn’t become friends. But even then, we hardly ever talked and when we did it was always about work. I didn’t even know where you lived until last semester.”
“I remember that too. The first night we really bonded was when you fell off that roof because you were trying to show me how to do a backflip.”
“Yeah, I’ve never been able to do a backflip.” He admitted. “I only said I could because you said you always wanted to learn how to do one and I assumed given my abilities I’d be able to do one if I just followed my body. But I busted my ass and you were kind enough to sneak me through your window and patch me up with some Scooby Doo bandaids.”
“It was all I had.” You shrugged.
“And you gave it to me anyway. Because you’re kind and compassionate and I’m just…I’m crazy about you.” Peter finally admitted. “I was so excited when we started hanging out more this semester but it always ended up crushing me when I remembered that we just doing it to keep people from finding out the truth. I really, really love our friendship and if I’m ruining it all by saying all this then at least I can die with it off my chest.”
“Wait, now I’m confused. Are you dying?”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “It feels like I am every time you and I start to get close and then I remember this is all pretend for you.”
“So it’s not pretend for you?” You asked quietly. Peter stared into your heads for a minute and then shook his head.
“No. I was never pretending. I like you.” He told you. Your facial expression didn’t change as you stared back at him. Peter was really starting to panic until a smile tugged at your lips.
“Sit back down.” You told him.
“I’m sat.” He said and rushed it sit down. You nestled back into his side and laid your head down on his shoulder. Peter smiled and rested his head on top of yours, finally pleased with the way a conversation with you went. You both turned your attention back to the movie just in time for it to end.
“Hm.” You huffed. “That was supposed to be us symbolically finishing the movie as a real couple but it appears we’ve already arrived at the credits. Now what?”
“We could watch Tusk.” Peter suggested at the same time you said “We could make out.”
“I never actually saw Tusk but I always wanted to.” You gasped and hit his arm with excitement.
“Or we could do your thing.” Peter forced a laugh and tried not to sound as desperate as he felt.
“Let me see if I can find it.” You said as you scrolled through the streaming services on his TV.
“Or we could do your thing.”
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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years
Text
June 25: 2x24 The Ultimate Computer
Belated notes on my watch of The Ultimate Computer yesterday.
Kirk’s definitely in Captain Mode today. You can tell when he’s on edge and suspicious and serious.
Yet another old Kirk friend. Does he know everyone in Starfleet?
War games lol. But it’s “not the military.”
Spock is super into this computer.
A-7 Computer Expert Certification.
The crew’s not needed? Wow, okay, this is going to end badly.
“This gadget.” How do you really feel, Kirk?
And there’s Spock literally making faces behind the Commodore’s back. He is soooo that type. He’s like “Jim, are you hearing this? Can you believe this guy?”
I’m insulted on Kirk’s behalf right now. Replacing people with machines so blithely is offensive.
Of course Bones doesn’t like it.
Oh yeah triumvirate walking scene. I love them. it takes so little for me to think ‘what badasses.’ S2 is really stepping up this dynamic in particular.
And Spock is comfortable enough around Bones to be sassy around him
Oh no, the computer is already glitching, and there is no backup and no plan B.... Bones is completely right in his assessment. This is essentially a Titanic situation: way too much hubris involved. Nothing can go wrong so nothing will go wrong so we’ve planned for nothing going wrong!
McCoy has BFF Clearance. He can go wherever he wants.
“It’s the M-5? What happened to Ms 1-4?” Channel #5.
Ahhhh little gratuitous touch to Spock’s arm. They’re In Love.
“There are certain things men must do to remain men.”
“The right computer finally came along.” Damn Bones.
Jim’s suspicions about the computer coming right after that line make it look like he’s jealous that Spock likes it so much.
He’s getting a “red alert right here.” Computers don’t have that kind of intuition.
Jim’s so thoughtful and self-aware. He really cares both about his instincts and about interrogating those instincts for bias and unreasonableness. This is giving me real S1 vibes: the quiet, intelligent, idealized hero Captain at the fore.
This whole scene is perfect, eminently quotable, and sounds exactly like something that could have been written about automation in 2021. You’re okay with it when it’s happening to someone else but then the computer comes for YOUR job....
Uh-h, M-5 is turning off all the lights...
Space merchant marines... good to know.
HOW are the Captain and CMO “non-essential personnel”? The first sign that M-5 is illogical. They should bring some doctor on the landing party mission given that uh humans are going on it and might get injured.
Anyway I can’t wait for Kirk to destroy this bitch and save the day.
Lol it turned off the lights on Bones in sickbay.
Damn, now it’s trying to take Uhura’s job too!
Chekov is so bored.
Spock wants to serve under one man and one man ONLY. Loyalty to one man... sounds like a wedding vow... and Kirk looks so soft...
So, if Spock has to describe to McCoy what that (unnecessary bitchy and catty) “Captain Dunsel” remark means, by saying that it’s a phrase that “midshipmen use at Starfleet Academy,” is this to imply Bones didn’t go to Starfleet Academy?
He’s never felt so at odds with the ship.... a lover’s quarrel...she’s cheating on him with another man...
Jim Kirk, certified Poetry Nerd. He’s such a romantic.
So glad Bones got him a drink so he can return to the bridge and a possible emergency with just a little bit of a buzz going.
Spock in the chair...
Huh, an automated ship with no crew. Interesting concept.
Oh no M-5! She’s got control of the ship and she won’t let go!
Kirk’s face when Enterprise attacks.. the betrayal... his beautiful lady used for mindless destruction.
“Only a robot” ship--! Bones is insulted.
Kirk orders the computer turned off but we’re only halfway through the ep so...
....And the computer is sentient now.
That was the shortest Captain’s Log ever. “The computer has taken over the ship the end.”
Scotty’s like, “...Well what if we just unplug it?”
Okay so now they only have 19 crew.
Spock and Bones are on point today. “Don’t say it’s fascinating.” / “I won’t. But it is... interesting.” This bitch knows exactly what he’s doing.
The computer isn’t a child, guys!
We need powerful computers “so men don’t have to die in space”--like uh that man your computer literally just killed?
I don’t get Daystrom’s logic at all. He talks as if people, like, needed to do work in space, to survive or something. We don’t need to. We want to! We want to go out and meet cool aliens! This guy is no fun.
What is the thing “greater” than fact finding in space that the robots are going to free us to do? Like what is more impressive than SPACE? I don’t even get that.
Time to mix up fake sci fi world-building references with real references! The Nobel and Zee-Magnee Prizes. Sitar of Vulcan.
A theory emerges... the computer acts illogically...Daystrom won’t let Spock near it... I know this isn’t where this is going, but it kind of sounds like they’re implying it’s a scam, lol. He sold an idea he didn’t have so it’s like.. not a real computer.
Spock’s little protege, Chekov.
“We have been pursuing a wild goose.” Aw, bb’s trying so hard to be colloquial. (Also he 100% learned that phrase from McCoy in The Gamesters of Triskellion and now he’s trying it out on Kirk...when McCoy isn’t around.)
“Not to offend you by using the h-word, but... could it be... human?”
Kirk’s really mad at Daystrom now.
The Commodore really set up that dramatic turn to camera there.
Poor Kirk. His ship is being used for evil.
“They can’t destroy the ship, what would happen to the computer?!” Yes, the computer. And the other 19 people and himself but mostly the computer. Daystrom really has lost it.
I love the actor who plays him, though.
“You are great. I am great.” Nothing weird happening here.
Spirk attack! (Spork it out.)
Spock’s way too sure Commodore Wesley is about to die. “He was decent, it’s a shame the ship I’m on is gonna kill him.”
And now another round of Kirk versus the computer and Kirk’s logic wins.
M-5 should argue that it did not commit murder, it committed homicide in self-defense. But then Daystrom didn’t program it with a lawyer’s brain.
It’s uh just gonna leave? Not turn the lights back on?
Kirk is so smart! I know I say this all the time, but it’s true! He knew what to do to save the ship because he knew Bob Wesley. He had formed connections, he had experience and knowledge that doesn’t come from logic. He is not replaceable!
McCoy’s like “Spock, fight me. Debate me Spock. Fight me. I’ll be fun.”
Spock HAS answered the computers versus humans question--he likes humans. He wants to be surrounded by humans.
That was really good! One of the better S2 episodes. Great Kirk, great triumvirate--as a trio and all three sides of the triangle--great sci fi concept, great guest star, great social commentary--still 100% relevant today.
i definitely have to think more about the ‘human computer’ concept. I liked that they specifically went out of their way to explain why the computer was human, how that was part of its design, and then tied that into its creator, his background, his belief system, and his insecurities. I feel like most ‘sentient computer’ or ‘advanced AI’ narratives just assume a computer that’s powerful enough will eventually be alive, which is not something I believe. The scariness of advanced AI to me is the incredible power it has to act quickly, but in a complete black-box way: you can’t literally see the logic string of its thought processes, and nor can you figure them out easily or completely using the creators’ intentions or logic because the machine has ‘learned’ since its inception, and its learning processes are not human. There is a real alienness to them that I find scary. And I do think this ep captured that nuance in M-5: it has the speed and abilities of a super computer, the “human” qualities of its creator for well-explained reasons, and the unpredictability of a mechanism that is NEITHER human nor human-controlled tool. And of course the ep’s ultimate thesis--that humans cannot be completely automated or replaced, and that we should not want to automate or replace humans--is comforting and of a morality I can and want to agree with.
This was also one of those eps that made me curious about the differences in AOS and TOS Kirk--in other words, an ep that relied on his history with Starfleet and his experience, on the reality that he’s a 34 year old man with 15+years of experience in the Fleet. Time, experience, connections, these aren’t things you can replace no matter how smart you are, and I feel like it would have been interesting to see AOS!Kirk deal with some situation that is trickier for him because he’s a Captain with a startlingly small amount of institutional experience. It’s not just about being young or generally inexperienced, in other words--it’s about NOT knowing every Captain, Admiral, and Commodore in the service, it’s about NOT having friends across the galaxy because he just hasn’t had time to make them. Even in deep space, that matters. And I think it’s something that I appreciate more as an adult myself, with actual real world experience of the importance of connections and experience and time, especially in sort of insular or smaller work communities.
Anyway, next is Bread and Circuses! Another great ep for the triumvirate. I can’t believe we’re almost through S2!!
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deniigi · 5 years
Note
Are you going to write about the into the spiderverse spiders helping inimitable verse?
Hello anon!
I’ve actually written a few bits and pieces of the two coming together, but they aren’t quite polished or finished, so I’m not sure they’ll go up for a while, unfortunately (the ideas will probably need to be reworked a bit or maybe rewritten) BUT I am happy to give you a few little pieces of those different works if you like!
They will go under the read more! (Sorry mobile users as usual)
Here’s piece 1. Miles meets Bitsy Miles and Peter B wards off an existential crisis. (Inimitable Peter goes by Tats Spidey in this piece to distinguish between the two Peters)
***
Miles looked past these two and realized that someonewearing a much cleaner version of his suit was standing by the tall, lankySpidey, peering over the edge of the roof in interest. The suit owner’sshoulders jerked suddenly and Miles felt his own Spidey Sense jolt in response.
Hilariously, his Spidey Sense going off made Peter B.’sSpidey Sense go off which made Tats Spidey’s Spidey Sense go off. Tats Spidey shiveredand then shook his whole body to even out. The other guy in Miles’s black suit lockedhis full attention onto Miles. Tats Spidey realized this before any of theothers did.
“Oh, right,” he said. “Bitsy, this is Miles. He’s you fromanother universe, dimension, whatever you want to call it.”
Bitsy Miles stood up and cocked his head. He was, as amatter of fact, a couple inches shorter than Miles himself.
“I have a double?” he asked. Woah. They had the same voice.Crazy, was that what he sounded like?
“Yeah,” he said trying to sound friendly, “We all do.There’s infinite universes with infinite Spidermen.”
Bitsy Miles did not take off his mask, but then, none of theguys on this team did. Miles hadn’t spent enough time with other superpeople toknow if that was a general practice or if it was just something within thisgroup.
Bitsy Miles stepped forward up to Tat’s Spidey’s side andexamined Miles curiously.
He didn’t seem very grumpy—not nearly as grumpy as TatsSpidey had implied anyways.
“Does that mean that there’s a verse where Spiderman doesn’texist?” he asked.
Wow. Uh. Hella deep.Kinda ominous.
“Well, that’s what he said, wasn’t it?” Tats Spidey saidlike it was no big deal. “If there’s an infinite number of universes with Spidermen, then there’s also gotto be a set of infinite verses without Spidermen.”
What. Woah, no. This was getting theoretical.
“Right,” Bitsy Miles said, turning around to interrogate hisSpidey, “But are there infiniteverses where Spiderman doesn’t exist? Or is there just one?”
Tats Spidey didn’t even blink.
“Depends on your definition of infinite,” he said easily.“If you accept infinity as the direct opposite of all definitions of ‘finite’,then you can only say that only one infinity is impossible. How can infinity beinfinity if there’s only one infinity?”
Bitsy Miles hummed and apparently accepted this answer.
Peter B.’s eye twitched a little. He turned to Miles with awarning finger.
“Do not ever ask me anything about this ever,” hethreatened.
“Why not?” Gwen asked, mostly to be contrary. The fingermoved in her direction.
“Uh-uh. No,” Peter said. “You are not cute.”
“Because the crushing reality of physics is too massive forour brains to comprehend fully at any one time,” Tats Spidey interrupted with ashrug, “You start thinking too hard about it, you’ll end up spiraling into anexistential crisis and realize that everything is inherently meaningless andthat all our problems are manufactured by our own societies and hubris.”
Peter stabbed the finger at him without turning his faceaway from Gwen’s.
“That,” he said, “Exactly that.”
And this is piece 2! This is one where Miles convinces Inimitable Peter to lend Gwen Inimitable Matt for a minute to deal with her asshole Murdock. (for the record, when I was trying to come up with names to differentiate the Matts, I ended up with ‘Momdock’ for Inimitable Matt–because he’s super bossy and extremely pro-self-care/responsibility–and stuck with ‘Murderdock’ for Gwen’s Matt. And now I can’t think of them as anything but those things, so sorry folks hoping for something fucking normal or some shit, altho y’all should know me better than that by now)
This scene is Inimitable Matt (Momdock) trying to goad Murderdock into a fight.
***
“Who the fuck are you?” Murderdock demanded, low and dangerous andoddly straightforward for once. Gwen was so fucking happy. He was getting moreand more freaked out the longer Momdock hung around, tilting at him.
“I told you. The Devil.”
Murderdock laughed.
“A great name,” he noted. “Perhaps let me reframe myquestion: who the fuck are you?”
Momdock’s grin didn’t waver.
“Where’s your Foggy, pal?” he asked pleasantly. “You’re areal piece of work, even a blind guy could see that. Where’s your Foggy?”
Murderdock went all stiff at the poke at his disability.Momdock was wearing a mask, which meant nothing to Murderdock as far as Gwencould tell, but she wondered if Murderdock could tell that he was blind, too.
But more importantly: why the hell was he asking about Mr.Nelson?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Murderdock said.
Momdock wasn’t having it. His grin broke for just long enoughfor him to chuff a little disbelieving laugh.
“C’mon, man,” he said like Murderdock was a fucking idiot.“Your Foggy. Where’s your Foggy? You know, the only guy who ever listened toyou?”
He took a step forward and to Gwen’s dead surprise,Murderdock twitched as though to take a step back.
Woah. Fascinating.She was struck by the sudden need to pay damn close attention to this wholeinteraction.
“The only guy who ever believed that there was an ounce—no,that there was even a drop—of good in you?” Momdock continued; his version ofsyrupy sweet was different. Less toxic, for one, seeing as he meant what he wassaying, but also oddly smokey? Pretty…dangerous?
He took another step forward. The muscles in his back rolledas his shoulders did. The floodlights on the roof threw them in stark relief.
“You don’t know shit,” Murderdock spat. His fingers didn’tleave his cane. “Who are you?”
“Foggy. Franklin. Franklin P. Nelson. The man who, to thisday, is the only one in this whole goddamn universe who gives a shit whetheryour piece of shit, disgrace of abody breathes in the morning. You know, the only one since your daddy who’sever cared that that blood in your veins keeps on pumping, day in, day out.That Foggy. That one. Where is he?”
Murderdock was sinking lower into his shoulders and startingto spread his arms out, but Gwen could not focus on that or make her facebehave because holy shit. Murderdockwas—red alert red alert—in love with the DA.
Holy.
Shit.
“Oh, don’t like that do you?” Momdock asked as he steppedcloser again. Like it was a game. Like he was winning. “What’s the matter? Youain’t had the guts to tell him yet, big scary? Awww. Lookit you. Precious.”That smile was a fucking weapon. “Pathetic,” he spat, tone suddenly dead flat.
“You’re pathetic,” he said again when Murderdock didn’t sayanything back. He was possibly more furious than Gwen had ever seen him.Furious to the point of silence. Momdock seemed to love it, too. The corners of his lips were curling again.
“You want me to shut up?” he goaded. “Want me to stoptalking about Foggy? My husband. Oho.Didn’t see that one coming did you?”
Gwen wasn’t 100% sure, but she was pretty sure that he’dheard whatever reaction Murderdock had had to the statement; he’d have to haveheard it, because as far as Gwen could tell, Murderdock hadn’t moved even amillimeter. He was calculating. Trying to figure out the best way to kill thisbastard.
Gwen’s stomach gave a little squeeze and she suddenly hopeddesperately that Momdock knew what he was doing. The goading was fun and all,but Murderdock was exactly that: a murderer.
“You’ve worked it out now, huh?” Momdock said as he took afew, slow steps in closer towards Murderdock. “You worked it out, yeah youhave. You’re smart. We’re smart.Always have been, right? Where’d your degree come from, huh? You meet Foggythere? Did he hold your hand on your daddy’s death day when you were too drunkfor words? Did he? ‘Cause mine did. You know, my Foggy and me, we’re celebratingat the end of this week. Wanna know why?”
He waited. Murderdock, Gwen realized, had drawn half of hisblade.
“You wanna know?”
Momdock’s knees seemed to go loose, like he was droppinginto a crouch.
“’Cause he got cancer,” he said, “Two years ago, he gotcancer. And you know what I did?”
Murderdock was clenching his teeth so hard, it made his jawalmost as square as Momdock’s.
“I let him suffer.”
Two things happened. Murderdock lunged forwardand Momdock lunged down.
**
NOTE: better explained in context, Momdock/Inimitable Matt is lying here. He didn’t actually leave Fogs to suffer, he just says this as the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I also do not fucking care what anyone says, Murderdock and DA Nelson are meant to be, I’m ignoring everything else, no one can convince me otherwise y’all I won’t hear it.
Anyways! Hope this fills some of the void, anon! If y’all really like this storyline, let me know and I’ll think about finishing it up a bit more satisfactorily.
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animeniac · 7 years
Note
I have a hc for Bakugou that he really loves Chex Mix, like it's his fav bagged snack, and idk it kind of spiraled out of control into an encounter when he and Uraraka have a late night run in at a convenience store and argue over what different snacks are better than others, ultimately buy a bunch, and make the other try them just to prove their points. Sorry I know it's kinda mundain, but even if it isn't for your prompt I think it's a fun scenario to think about :)
Variety is the Spice of LifeFandom: BNHA MHAPairing: Bakugou x Uraraka; KacchakoA/N: Sorry I took so long. It came out a lot longer than I planned. Hopefully, it doesn’t sound too much like a Chex Mix advertisement. I’m also hoping I didn’t veer into “feeding” kink territory. I’m still taking more requests if anyone is interested. 
A young girl with silky blond hair, thick, tame eyebrows, and large, brown eyes stared up at her parents. “Mama, Papa, how did you fall in love?”
An older Uraraka hummed before she answered, “Chex mix.”
“Chex mix? Nuh-uh! You can’t fall in love because of food! What really happened? Papa, is that what happened?” she inquired to her father who sat on the couch next to her.
“I-I guess.” Maybe sometime before then. He couldn’t remember. All their moments blurred together.
“I’m telling the truth! I can tell you the story,” promised Uraraka.
“Hm, okay, but you better not lie, and it better be good,” frowned the girl as she crossed her arms.
About 10 years ago
One warm, Saturday night, Bakugou reached into his snack drawer after an arduous evening of training and expected to find a bag of plain Chex Mix that he ritualistically set aside for such occasions. However, upon the realization that he had none, begrudgingly changed into his casual clothes to set out for more.
That girl, round face - Uraraka must have had a similar idea, for he spotted her scanning the commons area for someone or something. Her search did not concern him until he headed out the door, and she tailed him.
“Where ya goin’, Bakugou?” she asked.
Foolishly, he answered, “Out.” Though, that would have been obvious with a silent departure.
“I’m goin’ to the convenience store, and I guess everybody else is busy. Mind if I walk with you for some of the way? I don’t wanna go alone.”
Crap, that was the only place he could get his fix. Maybe if he stayed silent, then she would catch a hint and leave him be.
That logic was merely wishful thinking as she tagged along with him the entire way until she realized with a giggle, “Oh, what a coincidence! I guess we’re goin’ to the same place.”
Stomping ahead of her through the door, Bakugou navigated to the appropriate aisle and began to grab roughly a dozen bags of chex mix one by one.
“Chex mix is kinda boring,” Uraraka mused aloud as she held the back of her finger to her chin. “Do you like candy?”
“Boring? Are you fucking kidding me?” he chided. “It’s better than the other shit in this store. Candy isn’t even a snack.” When he caught a glimpse of the glitter in her big, brown eyes, he immediately regretted giving her an icebreaker.
Uraraka lifted her eyebrows at him and stared down at the bags. “Can I try some?” she requested.
“No.”
“Then how will I know that it’s the supreme snack that you say it is?”
That girl caught on too quickly to his idiosyncrasies. Somehow, she knew just how to strum his strings to implore the notes that she wanted to hear.
Bakugou grunted, “Fine.”
“The catch is -”
“There isn’t a fucking catch I’m -” he began but did not finish.
Asserting herself, she continued with a smug grin, “The catch is that you have to try stuff like daifuku and shrimp chips. Oh, and pocky.” Halting, her shoes screeched against the tile floor, she gasped, “Look! These look super yummy. Have you tried them? They have honey-flavored graham crackers in them.”
Before her inquiry, Bakugou had never dared to venture outside of his routine. He had always bought the most traditional flavor. Despite his predilection for spicy foods, he never reached for the hot variety either. Staring at the bags of Sweet n Savory and Hot n Spicy, he grabbed some of each flavor when she turned her back to search for other snacks. Damn her for pushing him like she did.
He smirked, recalling her audacity to interrupt him, “I’m definitely gonna kick her ass,” he promised. Catching a whiff of her familiar scent, he sensed her near and winced at her sudden proximity to his back. Dropping all of his bags, he cursed, “What the fuck are you doing?”
Uraraka rubbed the back of her head and raised the basket full of snacks with a pronounced blush on the tips of her cheeks. Bending down, she helped him collect the bags that he had dropped and placed them into her basket. “Sorry, I get a little carried away when I go to the convenience store. You like spicy stuff, right? I got some things that I’d try, too,” she explained upon deaf ears, for he had left! “Bakugou!”
“You call that spicy? That doesn’t even scratch the surface,” he scolded. “If you’re gonna have me put any of the sweet shit in my mouth, you’re gonna have to suffer through the hellish torture of Bokun Habanero.” Holding up a black bag with a habanero jack-o-latern on the cover, he pointed to a Kanji character. “You can tell this is good because it says violence.” Expecting wide eyes full of terror, he lowered the bag to catch her giggling as she covered her mouth. “What the fuck are you laughing at?”
Smiling up at him, she laughed, “Sorry, sorry, I just didn’t think you’d get excited over something like this, too.”
Speechless, he decided that the only outcome of this night that would satisfy him was if she ended up on the floor, crying and groveling for relief from the fiery hell that he brought to her. Grabbing the hottest snacks he could find, he filled her basket to the brim.
“Wait,” she pleaded, “I can’t afford all of this!”
Clenching his fist, Bakugou gloated, “Fine. I’ll pay. Watching you suffer is going to be priceless.”
“You don’t have to pay! I can put some stuff back,” she volunteered as nervous energy crawled up her spine and jolted her from her carefree evening.
“What? Are you too full of bullshit pride to let someone else buy something?”
Shaking her head, Uraraka protested, “No, it’s not that.” However, she acknowledged the truth in some of what he said. Only on rare occasions did she sit by and allow other people to pay for her.
“Then, shut up.”
Her eye twitched before she took a deep breath. Look who’s talking! He had the most fragile ego of everyone in the entire school.
After they checked out, they returned to the dorms in silence and kept their distance. Bakugou relished in the silence, for he would hate if she tried to misinterpret his actions as some form of friendship. Uraraka already understood that, but the silence irked her. Of course, she had hopes that their night together would result in friendship, but she failed to apologize as she walked closely behind him.
In the quiet of the empty Commons, Bakugou carelessly dumped their exorbitant bags of snacks onto the floor. “You ready to die, Uraraka?” challenged Bakugou.
Relief washed over Uraraka her eyes met with his glimmering crimson ones that held no trace of animosity. Biting her lip, she nodded and sat onto the couch, “Mhm!”
Sweat slid down his temple as he frowned. A smile? He had hoped for anguish or fear in her sturdy profile. His eye twitched when his heart dropped and returned to its place. What was that - certainly not fear, but what?
“Oh, I forgot to get water!” she remembered. “I’ll probably need it if I’m going to suffer, right?”
Bakugou ground his teeth and scolded, “You’re not getting any damn water! Don’t make fun of me, either. You think this is a game?”
“But, Bakugou,” she whined. Their agreement had turned into a challenge, so in some respect, it was a game. How agonizing could a snack be?
Lifting his eyebrows, he savored the glimpse of water that gathered on the surface of her eyes. Sitting on the couch at an arm’s length of a difference, he groaned, “Alright, hurry up and give me the shit you want to give me. Let’s get this over with. I’ve probably tried some of it when I was a kid, so I’m probably not going to change my mind.”
“Not with that attitude! I want you to like this stuff,” complained Uraraka as she furrowed her eyebrows at the stack of foods. She held up a small bag of Umaibo with Doraemon on the cover. “Try these. They’re kinda like Chex Mix.”
“I fucking doubt it.” Bakugou snatched them from her hand and threw a bag of Wasabi peas at her face, but she deflected it. “If you can’t handle those, then I’ll know you can’t handle the good stuff.”
Upon trying the peas, Uraraka pushed her tongue past her lips as she silenced her groan. For whatever reason, she wanted to impress him. Months ago, she could tell that Bakugou respected her enough to refer to her by her preferred name. He fought her like no one else did. Concentrating on subduing the spice and unpleasant flavor of her least favorite sensations, she realized that she had finished the entire bag. “Done! I didn’t like it that much, but it was definitely not too much for me,” she alerted him. Though, she thirsted for water.
“Well, what you gave me was shit, but since you’re putting up a front, I guess we can continue. Loser is whoever can’t handle anymore, alright?” he proposed without expecting contrary input from her.
“Putting up a front? No, it really wasn’t that bad!” she replied as she held up her hands in front of her face. “It’s kinda like Chex Mix, though, right?”
Bakugou frowned, “Nothing compares, dammit!” She had way too much pride. He had witnessed the tension in her eyebrows and the grimace on her lips. While the sight amused him, he loathed the blockade of hubris that she put up for no apparent reason.
After consuming bags upon bags of Manju, Spicy Chex Mix, Kaki no Tane and many more, the stockpile they had accumulated began to dwindle. By that point, Uraraka’s scarlet distress and watery eyes betrayed her words. Bakugou smirked despite his increasingly nauseous stomach ache and bloat.
“You gotta love the softness of daifuku. Nothing beats it, and it’s so sweet, too,” she mused as she stuffed a pink one into her cheeks like a squirrel. Squealing, she enjoyed the short-lived relief in her mouth. “Aren’t they good?”
“They aren’t bad,” thought Bakugou as he tilted his nose up to look down at the blissful smile on her cherubic face. Those red cheeks never paled, did they?
She gasped before a giggle, “Did you just admit to not hating somethin’, Bakugou?” The still of the rarely quiet Commons made the night feel special. The tides of fate parted for them to have such a night together, and she enjoyed hearing his scalding reactions only for them to digress into an impartial neutral comment.
Leaning forward, he began to reach for the spiciest snack on the table. Of course, he bought two for both of them. Uraraka intercepted his reach. Retracting his hand, he pushed his back against the couch. How bold.
“I know, I know. I’m gonna suffer, right?” she pointed at herself after opening the bag. After placing a single chip in her mouth, she already regretted the challenge. Eyeing the perimeter of the room, her glance shot towards the bathroom as she thought about running. That was all before the spice embedded into the taste buds of her mouth. She whimpered as raw, hot flames engulfed her mouth. Hiding her glossy eyes beneath her bangs, she slowly looked up to Bakugou to ask, “I gotta eat it all?”
Grinning, he snatched the bag from her and began stuffing the snacks into her mouth by hand. One by one, his palm pressed against her throbbing lips as she chewed. Finally, the tears began to show and his fiery craving grew ten folds. Panting from excitement, he chortled, “I bet you hate this, don’t you? You ready to give up, yet?”
Fortunately, for Uraraka, as rough as the action may have appeared, he remained gentle in a sense. He certainly allowed her to breathe and pace herself. If she wanted to stop and say something, then she certainly could. And as he held the back of her head, his palm cradled her. Still, she allowed her hot tears to fall as she gripped his shirt.
Just like that, he stopped to pull his hand away and completely free her. He taunted, “What? I win already?”
“No, I can have more,” she promised as she shook her head. Sticking her tongue out, she thought about asking why he stopped. “Oh, I only have two more. Yay. They’re grosser than they are spicy.” As she placed the last two in her mouth and chewed, she raised two fingers and stared Bakugou down as her eyebrows furrowed with an intense glare. “That’s it, right?”
Bakugou scoffed, “You forgot to eat these, you dumbass. They’ll help.” He tossed her a bag of Chex Mix as he casually munched down on his Bokun Habanero.
Impressed, Uraraka’s eyes lit up as she gazed at him eating his chosen snack. “You’re really cool, Bakugou!” she noted out loud.
“Shut up and eat the damn Chex Mix!”
Once she opened the blue bag of traditional, savory cereal and stuffed a handful into her mouth, she grinned, “Woah, these really do help. And, they’re pretty good, too.” Tears of joy glazed her eyes as she marveled at the quick relief that washed over her mouth.
Bakugou replied as he looked out the window. “We need a tie breaker after I finish the shitty pocky you got.”
Kirishima and Kaminari entered the area. Kirishima gawked at the copious amounts of snacks on the table, “Sweet, free snacks? Can I have some?”
“No, fuck off!” spat Bakugou. He hated that his two friends interrupted whatever kind of atmosphere he had developed with the anti-gravity girl.
“We were just doing a competition to see who has the best tastes in snacks, but now, we don’t know how to tell the winner,” Uraraka explained.
Kaminari quirked an eyebrow and grinned at the box of pocky in Bakugou’s hands, “Oh? Well, you got some pocky. Why don’t you do the pocky challenge,” he suggested as he pointed towards the package with an open palm.
A glint grew in a Bakugou’s eye before he asked, “What’s that?”
“Yeah, what’s that? That sounds like fun!”
Turning around, Kaminari had to hide his mischevious grin. “You race to see who can finish the fastest.”
Bakugou took one out the box and pushed the package to Uraraka for her to take one as well. Immediately, they raced to finish chomping the fastest.
“I think Uraraka won,” noted Kirishima as he pointed to her.
“What?” Kaminari exclaimed as he fully turned around. “No, that’s not how you do it. Uraraka, put one end in your mouth.”
She obliged - simple enough.
“Then, Bakugou, the other end goes into your mouth, and THEN, you race to finish the fastest.”
Immediately, Bakugou took the challenge and bit onto the other end. Once their eyes met, they had already taken a bite. Finally, he realized the possibilities that such a challenge could lead. His face reddened, and his heart quickened as he realized just how much he got carried away that evening. “Wait a minute!” he exclaimed. How could he be so foolish?
Kaminari had already begun to flee.
Uraraka finished the pocky stick herself as sweat built up on her forehead. She got carried away as well. Blood rushed to her head as she began to feel dizzy. Maybe she enjoyed that night a little too much.
“What? You actually finished it?” Kirishima asked.
“Doesn’t that mean it’s an indirect kiss?” noted Kaminari.
“Fuck all of you!” cursed Bakugou as he chased the two guys around the room.
The young girl with silky blond hair held her opened mouth to gasp. “Eh? Really?” she curiously asked.
“Mhm, and then your Papa fell madly in love with me.”
When their daughter looked at her father, Bakugou hid his face and nodded. Then, he added, “You did, too.”
“Is that true, Mama?” asked the girl.
“That day, I saw sides of your Papa that no one else had seen, so I started to fall in love, too,” explained Uraraka before she kissed Bakugou on his cheek.
Redness engulfed his face as he growled, “Oi, Ochako, stop doing that in front of our daughter.”
“Mama, what did you do to Papa?”
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Who wrote this on Ford's wiki page. Ford is that you.
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Bord Drabble
The physical body–flesh, blood, bone and sinew–is all just a vessel. Even accounting for things like chemical reactions and gut microbiota, the body is not the self. It’s merely machinery containing one’s so-called “soul.” it’s as interchangeable as a tupperware container. An outer shell that bears no holding on the identity of the pilot.
The last thought to cross Ford’s physical mind before he succumbs to possession is this: If Bill is a God, and is the dominant “soul” inside Ford’s body, then in a literal sense, Ford Becomes a God when Bill takes over.
It’s all he’s ever wanted.
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