#trying to deal w this on my own

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

shoutout to all my fellow 4th Unenjoyers who curl up in a corner with earbuds/headphones blasting music or videos to drown out the Noise <3 i hope the night passes Quickly for yall <3

#and if you're stuck doing a family thing for it. i am so so sorry #i wish you strength and again: a quick evening #anyway. may your blanket be soft and headphones/earbuds be cozy #get yourself a tasty treat! You Deserve It for dealing w/ this bullshit #absolutely unprompted #it sounds like a fuckin warzone out there ARENT FIREWORKS ILLEGAL HERE??? HM??? APPARENTLY NOT! #one of my cats has evaporated (hiding) and the other one is in the little fort i made for her #i predict that soon i will make the fort Bigger so that i may join her #im blasting music to try and cover up the noise for Both Of Us #every so often i turn around to exchange reassuring slow blinkies #yknow i almost roped myself into a (step)family function. thank fuck i decided not to go lmfao #my ideal 4th is Not hanging out with a bunch of conservatives for a fireworks party #in a state where its Legal to buy/fire your own #that wouldve been Hell on Earth

[sweetmctart]

do u think that when ppl in big deal (jason, brad, lineman, lua, etc) get mad at jake they steal his dentures

like they jus snatch them n the entire day jake keeps his mouth shut bc he’s embarrassed until he apologizes

#lookism #big deal #shitpost #u gotta hear me out guys please #jerry fights them to the death to take back jakes dentures #i be giggling at my own ideas help m #the rest of big deal are either on the sidelines to avoid jerry or theyre helping the 4 run around n escape #sinu tries to make jake laugh or talk during this #try not to laugh challenge w/ sinu (ft. jake kim) [REAL NOT CLICKBAIT] #jake: im thorry…………… #GAHGAAUSUAA #I WANNA DRAW RHIS WHEN I GET HOME

[katebeckets]

please Please consider... feelings and thoughts are not facts. they are meant to guide and protect and teach you, and they do their best, but sometimes they get it wrong. we are notoriously unreliable narrators. someone's feelings and experiences are theirs and theirs alone. they have a right to remember and process and respond to those things, but that doesn't mean you take it at face value as The definitive narrative. it's also their responsibility to accept that their experiences can be true even when it directly conflicts with someone else's experiences of the same things. you can take people's feelings and experiences at face value, acknowledge and validate and empathize with them, without accepting it as the truth. Because feelings are so often not true.

#for the record i do believe this to be generally true #but this is mainly me @ swiftieland rn #and dealing with my own complex feelings of ts-related grief #but also it goes to a larger conversation i've had w lots of clients #which is that feelings are NOT facts and are often flat out WRONG #you're not wrong to feel them #but they really can't be trusted #i'm trying not to unfollow people bc i really do love them #but some of these takes #are making me want to chew my own arm off

[themyscirah]

Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)

#god amanda waller what did they do to you.... #i KNOW i never shut up about this but GUYS ITS SO BAD #fucking WHY would you take the interesting antihero protagonist and then strip her of any redeeming quality and use her as this horrific #unforgivable villain who is treated as a hated antagonist in her own comics #WHERE SHE ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER MOST OF THE TIME #like why are you trying to make me sympathize with fucking harley quinn or smth when the actual main character is right there. why are we #turning her into this horrific villain w a million master plans making deals with the devil and shit. #we are supposed to like her. like maybe not all dc fans do because shes almost always an antagonist in other books but in her own shes the #main character!!! there should be some aspect of interest or sympathy for her. as opposed to just making her like badass or whatever #so sick of this #and its in freaking EVERYTHING right now on god i cant read other comics that are otherwise good (like ga) and enjoy them without the #obligatory intense demonification of one of my fave characters #like shes my no 6 in locg for a reason i genuinely love waller like yeah she sucks sometimes but shes INTERESTING. #this is not interesting or creative in any way what theyre doing with her #this genuinely could have been any government baddie like honestly #dont flatten 3 dimensional characters into 1 dimension (or at best like 1.5) to tell a story you tell the story around the 3d characters. #why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime #blah #amanda waller #istg i throw out another waller rant every freaking tuesday on here #suicide squad #you know what. at least we had the movie #you heard me. higher hopes for the new gunn dceu series than actual comics for the forseeable future #viola davis save me... #need to do a bit of 00s reading still to verify but on god watch this all come down to a fucking new 52 thing. like not to say that i think #thats where it all went wrong bc i need to read more to verify but i have an idea of what rlly did it and i think it was a nu52 decision #but then again maybe im stupid

[yuukimiyas]

( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ ) good mornin!! its finally the wknd!! yay!! :3 its 12/30 over here in the states but im wishing a HUGE happy nye/new yr to all of my sweets in dif timezones!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ you’ve done an amazing job in 2023 & im so excited to see what 2024 brings you all!! <33 lets finish out this yr strong w spreading sm love & light to others!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و squeezin you in a HUGE hug!!!

#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals! #happy saturday!!! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧ i wrk all day today but im off tmrw & mon!! woo!! #i wonder what you & your faves will get up to this nye hehee!! i’ll have to try to make my lil rounds & see ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡ #OOO GOOD NEWS!!! i got a SUPER amazing deal on a SUPER RARE psycho pass enamel pin & ITS COMING TODAY!!!! :D #it was supposed to get here on tues!!! ig shinya rlly can’t stay away from me huh ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ‎꒱ྀིა hehee!! #i’ll show you guys a lil pic when i get home from work!! its SO PRETTY!! & ITS 2/5 !!!! LIKE ONLY 5 WERE MADE!!! & NOW I OWN THE 2ND!!! #okie i gotta get up & get ready for work but i will catch up w you guys there!! :3 i got sm to dooo on here im sorry i’ve been slackin!!!! #ILYA SO SO SO SOOOO MUCH!!! i hope your ‘23 was as great as you are!! ꒰ ˃̶̤́ ꒳ ˂̶̤̀ ꒱ MWAH!! a massive smooch from me to you!!!

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[unexpectedbrickattack]

peep peep 🐁..

#chattin #waitin to be picked up from my aunts house #dogsitting while she was on a trip w my mom and sister #so im going to sit here and chat about some stuff #SFW this time im going to behave ! #thinking of ph #i like writing him as a fucked up lil guy…. #got obsessed; mistook possessive behavior for love oopsie ! #i think he would be REALLY hurt postgame #he was doing a GOOD job! he was trying to help peppino get rid of his shoddy shop!!! #bc owning a business is sooooo taxing and why do that when u can just work for someone and get paid good money ! #and no one has ever like. so blatantly and ANGRILY said NO to him before :( he is experiencing failure AND rejection for the first time #sucks ass #but i want him to be happy so like. eventually he has to deal w that failure #and he sees peppino like. still running a shop. but hes not angry like when they first met hes like #vibin! #hes in the back making food and occassionally he takes front and deals w customers and theyre weird but bearable #people TRAVEL to this little shop at the edge of the forest! #and he doesnt get it its like the food comes out slow and the tvs arent loud enough to hear anything and the prices are higher- #-than ANY fast food joint and yet people still come by…he has REGULARS…how… #hes so inefficient…and yet…. #peppino is really angry and dismissive of ph at first; he does NOT want to see his ugly mug and hes tempted to chase him out #but gus is levelheaded (like always peppino notes) and hes like its not worth it ; hes harmless #and over time that anger simmers out into being JUST dismissive and grumpy #but he tolerates him and eventually tolerates his questions #and peppino is like. u know thats why i was so damn pissed at u. thinking there was nothing this owning shit #this shit takes time so i price it that way. u gotta talk to customers like People not Money Giving Machines #like yeah peppino doesnt have the BEST temperment but he most people are just there for Pizza #and some of them are friendly! its tiring but he likes making food and dealing w people #he will not say it but he puts love into this business; this shop is his baby! and ph didnt really get that

[unproduciblesmackdown]

mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"

#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow. #i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'') #though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl #and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him #so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker] #in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird'' #but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not #an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol #even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough #and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is #lackadaisy #oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job] #it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but #points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously #and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that #wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j. #that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch. #[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] #and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash #also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh #numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache'' #and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes) #900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit. #i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them. #but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu'' #it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps???? #it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped. #the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????'' #oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

[extravalgant]

Well done, my champion, my hero, my... dare i say it? My Scion. 

started thinkin about lemuria again and before i knew it i was 4+ hours deep into this painting of calamity . crazy stuff

IM NOT THERE YET ON MY STORM (camera pan to me dead in karamelle) but that wont stop me from getting the story ELSEWHERE... the monitoring stations with the old one always interested me . love how he called us his scion i think thats very fucked up possessive of him

anyways heres one more lil doodle

#wizard101 #w101 #lemuria spoilers #HOW DO I... EXPLAIN THIS #this is a lie i would love to explain all my fucked up and projected thinking #I LOVE THAT LITTLE PIECE OF DIALOGUE.... #and its so funny to imagine this as calamity in this situation #because as far as she knows the arcanum and ravenwood let her kill anyone she pleased #either that or she realized early on that she had 'permission to kill' that anyone else didnt have #so later on down the line she starts toeing the line of a 'good' and 'bad' person so when dasein comes along shes like ur telling me #i gotta deal with and sort out my own moral compass ??? AND TEACH IT TO THIS GUY??? #guy (gender neutral) #but like... MY SCION . what did u mean by that. AND ITS CAPITALIZED SO ITS IMPORTANT #whether or not he knew it was us (but i think he did know it was us) when we saw each other on the summit its like . things would have been #so different if he didnt get swallowed and thats the crazy part #MY CHAMPION.. MY HERO... like objectively speaking those are very much positive/good aligned but coming from that tv #i was like u are trying to mold us (the wizard) into EVIL!!! MAYBE . maybe #also its sooo juicy how we will never know if the old one actually had a change of heart bc hes dead . like LOST CONNECTIONS... #some will say yes and canon supports that i guess w the guilt line but at the same time im like . he was way too flippant with the lives of #these inhibitants for me to believe that he felt guilt at the last moment like what CHANGED... #anyways . i like to think that he was still putting up a front and had an ego to assume nothing bad would happen to him #bc yknow he 'knew everything' #and then he ends up getting absorbed and its like . a #I TALK SO MUCH IN THESE TAGS... kissie for whoever reads this mwah #my art #also this was like my first time doing both perspective AND lighting and i was working with 4 different light sources #please . have mercy on me #edit: ok apparently he didnt know who the scion would b in lemuria but ig he knew it might have been us in karamelle . idk! idk

[perenlop]

seen both episodes of horizons now and holy fuck

#i was so used to being bored w jn tbh but this series already has me really hooked??? #liko is a really well realized character and no scene feels wasted everything feels carefully set up #the tone is also so good like liko and am’s silent conversation when he finds her hiding on the ship??????? #it was SO good and i like what theyre setting up with the new pokemon and i love the airship setting #i was nervous when eve told me it was another ‘’travel the world hub’’ deal but unlike jn #theres like an even spread of pokemon from other regions #and not only that but pokemon that havent gotten too much love in general like alolan muk snorunt and carkoal #speaking of which THIS WAS CARKOALS FIRST APPEARANCE??? #its also still being good w all of the starters too like so far fuecoco’s been the latest to show up #and it still has adequate screentime and personality to it #literally the only thing im hmmm abt is more charizard favoritism but like. i can forgive it with how even everything is #and i love that pikachu is their boss AND IT HAS VOLT TACKLE. BABYGIRL I MISSED YOU #what i was also worried abt was that theyd try to make it as close to ash and pikachus journey as possible #like same dynamic same setup same pikachu character (not really but same personality) #but no!! its all totally shaken up and the stuff that DOES evoke the original is still clever #and stands on its own!! like oh my god i cannot say enough how pleasantly surprised i am with horizons #i wasn’t pessimistic but i was like ‘’ill like it bc its pokemon regardless but wont be going crazy over it’’ #but im like. SO anxious for the next episode now bc SPRIG :( #but like oh my god it all stands out. the character design the characters themselves the pokemon the animation the artstyle the music #the story the tone the setup like EVERYTHING is so good here #echoed voice

[skunkg1rll]

im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.

#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w #so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me #he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine #nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am #nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me #that made me very sad nd hurt nd like #he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him #bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions #i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it #nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is #i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from #instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed #so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations #but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that #however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him #maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend #i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part #if imginna get over these feelings #i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you #then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media #then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him #but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now #my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop #since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it #but i have no idea how to stop #god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??

[piplupod]

head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up

#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do #and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM #and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see #and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl #but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so #but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine #i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time'' #then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff #and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL #that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl #even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!! #i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao #because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all #anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry

[volaile]

I Am Haunted By The Ghosts Of My Past.

[has ibs and is fashing the conshequenches 😃😃😁]

#heres the thing about me and my ibs. i have it but i dont really do anything about it #i eat well so i just make her buck up and deal w it #not a good system ! which is why im finally trying to work out what my triggers are LOL #if its cheese im straight up killing myself #actually no im not. ill just keep eating cheese #own

[girlwithfish]

it still makes me sad and its only been like 20 hrs since i found out asleep for 6 of those hrs so yeah idk i think I've processed it. maybe i hate conflict maybe i am too forgiving or naive or trusting maybe i just want stability maybe its just i love him so im willing to forgive not sure.. i dont rly feel much abt it if i dont think abt it too much

#i guess i considered it to be a dealbreaker possible relationship ender before like this morning when i was dealing w it on my own #while he was asleep and it was lonely and i cried twice or three times in tbe bathroom #i was in denial at first thinkjng maybe its not that bad then thought about it more and more #then cried #and then i was up for four hours just thinking abt it and it was worse bc i didnt know anything and so i didntk now the extent of it #or anythjng or if there was more and i wanted to die so bad #idk #i feel better and closer bc we talked it out for hours and #maybe i should have been more angry. i was just hurt at first and started crying when i confronted him and then i just felt emotionless but #heard hjm out and his handling of it made me trust him more bc at least he came clean and was honest and #took accountability bc i wouldnt have continued w this if he had kept lying or trying to downplay it idk #It sucks but i forgave him i think and believe him and if i dont think abt it ican almost pretend. it feels weird bc im used to being able #to trust him nd hve never really questioned much despite my relationship anxiety and anxiety abt getting cheated on #i just never thought anything like that wluld happen to me so. ifeel stupid a bit but idk