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#too much whiplash
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How I’ve felt since Saturday night
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ponchcronch · 4 months
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If I had a nickel for every time I had an alien with a portable pocket dimension who's likely the last of their kind as a comfort character, i'd have two nickels. /ref
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hrokkall · 8 months
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The Martyrdom of Saint Gabriel
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strangersteddierthings · 10 months
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The Conversation
Final Part of The Interview [Part One] [Part Two] [Ao3]
Steve finishes putting on his boots, shoves a beanie on his head, and grabs his thermos of coffee before heading outside. Robin had texted when they left Pendleton so they should be arriving soon, and he wants to make sure the dogs stay clear of the driveway, and also finish some of the chores he is being lazy about. The mountain air is cold in February, and the snow is deep, but it's still warm for a winter day in Eastern Oregon.
His childhood house had been at the edge of a little forest. His current home is tucked away in the woods, trees for miles, and the nearest neighbor farther still than that. He's lived a lot of places, been able to see the whole of America almost, and in the process, he's learned that he'll always be a small-town boy. The real revelation is how at home he feels in this two-bedroom cabin sequestered away from any town at all. Sure, he's got to drive a little over half an hour to get to the nearest grocery store, but he's learned he likes that.
He's got 1600 acres of woods all to himself and the dogs. He's owned this property for almost four years, but recent events made him finally move out here. Originally, he'd bought it to make it as another flip project, but something in his gut told him to make it a vacation home / safe haven for his family instead. Robin, mainly, as a getaway from the LA life and overwhelming spotlight she'd started to face as her music career took off. He might be turning it into his permanent home and base of operations, but everyone knows they're still welcome.
Anyway, the day might be warm for winter, but the night won't be, so Steve sets his thermos on the top of the wooden railing of the porch and heads down the steps to the woodshed. The plan in the summer is to update the cabin, which includes adding central air and a good heating system, but until then, portable heaters are in the bedrooms and the wood stove gets the rest of the cabin. There's also plans to start the construction on the guest house. It's going to be a busy summer.
He replenishes the woodpile on the porch from the woodshed and debates chopping more but decides against it. That can be a tomorrow chore. Next is cleaning up the snow paths he's made previously. Doesn't want anyone falling on their ass on the way to the house, no matter how funny that'll be to watch. As usual, Pancake makes the task difficult because she wants to play with the snow shovel. Melody cries until he throws snow into the air by the shovel full for her to play in. Chowder, old man that he is, supervises from the porch, front paws hanging just off the top step.
It's rough going but he manages to complete the few chores, even with two dogs underfoot.
Steve is on the front porch, forearms holding his weight as he leans against the railing, thermos of coffee between his hands, taking in the afternoon sun and enjoying the silence when Dustin's work truck slides into the driveway. Almost literally, given the foot and a half of snow still on the ground. The driveway is long, okay. Steve's doesn't have enough time in his day to keep up with salting it all.
It'll be strange to see Eddie after all these years. He still can't believe Robin got him to come. When he'd asked how she did it, she brushed him off with an it's not important.
Speaking of Robin, she's the first person out of the truck, sliding out of the passenger seat and then cursing when she drops right into the snow. She shoots an accusatory look towards the cabin, and therefore Steve, like he placed the snow there himself, when the fault is Dustin, who has left the driver side with plenty of room between the truck and the snowbank.
Dustin gets out of the truck and Steve faintly hears him say this side, man, less snow before pushing his door closed and turning to brace himself as Pancake and Melody rush from the porch to circle like sharks, barely restraining themselves from jumping up. Chowder follows after slowly, taking his sweet time getting to Robin, his favorite human. Steve can't even be jealous about that because Robin is his favorite human, too.
The back driver side door opens, and he watches as Eddie Munson all but falls out of the truck. It's the least graceful anyone's looked getting out of the back of the truck and that's counting Chowder and his old man hips. Seeing Eddie again is- well, it's a lot of emotions all at once, but they're are all overshadowed at the moment by how Eddie looks... well, bad. His hair is longer than Steve's ever seen it, a little longer than mid-back length, but it looks like it hasn't seen a proper hair brush in a couple of days. Even from this distance Steve can see the bags under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.
He pushes himself off the railing and meanders down the two steps, waiting for them to notice he's waiting. Robin trudges out of the snow berm and to the front of the truck, where Chowder is waiting patiently for his pets and kisses. Dustin has managed to get Melody to stop hopping in front of him so she can get her side scratches, and Pancake has realized there is a new, third person with a set of hands currently not petting her, and is circling Eddie, waiting for him to reach down and pet her but he just stands completely still, heading tracking her in her circles.
"She's friendly, I promise," Steve calls out, which makes Eddie's head snap up to look for the source of the voice. Well, everyone looks, but Eddie looks like he's seeing a ghost, which. Fair. Steve kind of feels the same way.
"Hello, Dingus," Robin calls as she stands from her crouched position, where she's been cuddling Chowder. As soon as she stands, he starts making his way back to the porch. "I have delivered one Edward Keaton Munson. You are not allowed to ask anything of me for, at minimum, a year."
"Steve! Why didn't you tell me you knew the Eddie Munson?" Dustin shouts.
Robin is scoffing, clearly offended. "Am I not famous enough for you Henderson!?"
"Get back to me when you've run a 24-hour Dungeons and Dragons live stream for charity!" Dustin shoots back, then has to dodge Robin's half-hearted punch aimed for his arm.
Eddie stays silent, looking more pale than when he got out of the truck. Steve's a little concerned he's going to faint.
"You been living under a rock, Dustin?" Steve asks. "My knowing him is apparently the only thing on the internet currently."
Dustin puts his whole head into the eye roll. "You spend a month backpacking with your girlfriend in the southern hemisphere and you never get to hear the end of it. I told you I'd catch up on your drama after I catch up on my DnD Live Plays."
"You also missed me winning a Grammy, you know."
"I thought Steve's thing was more important?"
"You are impossible, Henderson."
"You guys going to argue in the snow all afternoon, or do you want to come inside?" Steve says then places his fingers in his mouth and whistles. Melody and Pancake dash for the front door, where Chowder is already waiting. Dustin, Robin, and a still eerily quiet Eddie fall into line to walk the trail to the porch Steve had cleared.
Steve jumps the steps, grabs his thermos, lets the dogs in, and then holds the door for everyone else. Robin and Dustin breeze past, but Eddie slows, eyes jumping around Steve's face as they just look at each other for a moment. Eddie opens, then closes, then opens, then closes his mouth.
"Hi," Steve offers up, shifting a foot to hold the door open so he can wave his fingers at Eddie.
Eddie swallows thickly, then whispers back, "hey."
"In the house, Eddie. Don't want to let too much cold in," Steve tilts his head towards the doorway.
"Oh, right, sorry," that kick starts Eddie again and he crosses the threshold, Steve close behind.
Robin and Dustin are currently occupying the bench just inside the door, taking off their shoes. Once Dustin has his boots off, he leaves the bench, heading to the kitchen. Eddie seems lost, just standing in the entryway, so Steve takes the spot Dustin just left and proceeds to undo the laces on his boots. He gets one boot done by the time Robin stands, wandering after Dustin once she's hung up her coat, scarf, and gloves. Eddie doesn't move still, so Steve pats the empty spot beside him.
"No shoes in the cabin. Dogs track in enough snow, don't need us doing it too," Steve says, then busies himself with his other boot.
He sees Eddie sit and begin to untie his- jesus, he's not even wearing boots. Just a black pair of sneakers. Eddie unties his shoes in silence, sitting rather stiffly next to Steve.
This quiet, obedient Eddie is not what he expected.
"You want something to drink?" Steve asks, once both of them are free of their shoes.
"No, thank you."
"Alright. Have a seat, then," he gestures towards the couch. The cabin door opens up directly into the living area, which Steve has set up as 3/4th a living room and 1/4th dining room, in that a small kitchen table is along the far wall. Beyond that wall is the kitchen, where Robin and Dustin are undoubtedly helping themselves to his coffee or hot chocolate.
Eddie shuffles off to sit on the edge of the couch, as close to the armrest as he can get. Now that Steve can see him closer, he can see he's added more piercing to his face than just the eyebrow ring he wore in high school. Snake bites, a septum piercing, and a second eyebrow ring next to the original. He's sure that if Eddie's hair wasn't covering his ears, he'd see more metal there. Eddie had hung up the coat he'd been wearing but under that is a hoodie he didn't take off, so Steve can only guess if he ever got those tattoos he'd been planning in high school. His entire outfit is black, which just makes him look sickly in the cabin lighting.
Steve drops himself into the chair facing the couch. It's Melody's favorite chair to curl up in, but Steve thinks she'll forgive him for taking it. There's tension in the room, so he tries to break it. "You look like you've seen a ghost, dude."
Eddie makes a weird nose, almost a whimper or a whine, but before he can say anything, Robin rounds the wall, holding a mug of hot liquid and she says, "Oh, I'm sure he feels that he has. I didn't tell me we were coming to see you."
"Robin!" Steve is shocked.
"What? You said you wouldn't mind getting some closure, so I got him here. Does it matter how?" She takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Eddie, making a show of how comfortable she is in the space by sitting cross-legged and leaning back against the couch, in comparison to Eddie who is sitting up completely straight, barely on the couch with how close to the edge he's sitting.
"Yeah, it does! If he's not here voluntarily- if Eddie doesn't want to talk to me you can't-"
"I do," Eddie says. It grabs Steve and Robin's attention and Steve sees Eddie almost wilt under their twin stares. He clears his throat before continuing, "I mean, I would have come still, if she'd told me. I do want to talk to you. Apologize for.... for everything. So much I don't even know where to begin, or how."
"Uhh, this feels like something personal," Dustin says from where he's standing with his own mug, hovering nearby. "Should I be here for this?"
Good question. Steve doesn't care if Robin and Dustin hear what they talk about, but Eddie might. "How about we just relax a bit. How was the drive?"
Eddie scrunches his face, a half confused expression on his face.
"Fine," Robin says at the same time Dustin says, "Tense as fuck."
"Those two things don't seem like they match," Steve says.
Dustin moves to plop himself on the couch in between Eddie and Robin, then quietly curses as his drink sloshes over the edge of the mug. He starts mopping at it with the sleeve of his shirt as he says, "Robin is a liar. The tension in the truck is going to linger that's how bad it was. I'll be feeling the tension every time I get in the rig. Clients will feel the tension when I pull up to their curbs!"
"It was not that bad!" Robin swats Dustin. Successfully this time, since there's no way for him to dodge unless he wants to spill his drink again.
Steve just laughs. "Robs, light of my life, mate of my soul, knowing you and your grudges, Dustin's probably going easy on the description of the tension here."
"Well, there wouldn't be tension if I was allowed to say what I want to say."
"Can we go, like, five minutes without your negativity?"
"My negativity!? I'm not negative, I'm rational and level-headed!"
"You are not sounding very level-headed right now."
Dustin chimes in, "Steve's right. Level-headed people don't have to shout that they're level-headed."
"What say you, Eds?" Steve asks, the old nickname slipping out. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed about it though.
Eddie stands quickly and flings his hands in the air, having reached an invisible limit Steve is unaware of, pacing about the living room as he basically shouts, "Why don't you hate me!? You should hate me! I hate me! I can't- why are you just sitting there, trying to have a-a decent conversation with me? You should be screaming at me! You should be mad! Why aren't you? My fuckin' song ruined your life!"
The silence in the living room is heavy following that, all eyes on Eddie. Even the dogs, who had been in various states of sleep, lift their heads and look in Eddie's direction.
He looks mortified by the out burst, and his face turns red. "I-I'm sorry. I- I'm just, I'm sorry. I need air."
They all watch silently as Eddie jams his shoes back on and goes out the front door without tying them or grabbing his coat.
Steve sighs, deep and annoyed. At Robin and himself. He looks to Robin and she looks shocked by Eddie's outburst. She was watching the door, but turns her head to meet Steve's eye, a small frown on her face.
"Well, it's not like he's going far," Dustin says. "You going after him?"
"I don't know if I should."
Dustin scoffs. "Don't be an idiot, of course you should. We drug that guy to the middle of nowhere to talk to you. He agreed to come to the middle of nowhere even though I could have been a hit man hired by Robin to off him in the woods and he didn't even complain. Didn't even question. I don't know what happened, but I think you two need talk it over."
Steve blinks at Dustin. "Since when did you get so wise?"
"I've always been wise. You just refuse to see it with your ageism. Go. Robin can fill me in on the beef, here in the toasty, cozy cabin, while you two chat in the cold, and freeze your asses off."
"I don't have ageism-"
"Wrong argument to be having, Steve!" Dustin interrupts. "And take another cup of coffee with you. Even if he doesn't drink it, dude doesn't have gloves either so y'know, warm the hands."
Steve does just that. Fills his other thermos with coffee, taking a chance by adding cream and sugar, before putting his boots, coat, and beanie back on. He throws Eddie's coat over his arm and tucks both thermos' against his body with that same arm so he can have a free hand to open the door.
Eddie isn't far. He's pacing back and forth in front of the truck, talking to himself.
Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Steve steps off the porch and makes his way to Eddie. "Hey."
The pacing stops and Eddie turns to look at Steve. They just look at each other as Steve approaches. Steve doesn't stop until he's close enough to reach out and touch before he shuffles the two thermos's to his other arm and extends the one with Eddie's coat on it out.
"Thank you," Eddie says, taking the coat and shoving himself into it quickly.
"Brought you coffee, too," Steve holds out one thermos and after a pause, Eddie takes it, too, then almost instantly brings his other hand up to cradle it, warming his fingers.
He looks up from the thermos and meets Steve's eye. "I am sorry, Steve. I'm sorry for how things ended between us, and for the song I wrote, and for-for not thinking about how people would be able to work out that you were the Steve from Hey Steve. You should hate me for that alone. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened because I didn't think of the consequences."
"I don't- I don't hate you man. Not... not anymore. Not for a long time."
"Well, you should!"
Steve frowns. He wants to argue because who is Eddie to tell him how he should feel? But that's not going to help anything. "When Robin called me. During her interview after the Grammy's and asked if she could tell the truth I never- I didn't know what she meant by the truth. But. Well, nothing she said was a lie, but it wasn't the full story."
Eddie stays silent, seemingly waiting for Steve to continue.
"Those first two years after our breakup were- I'm not going to lie, they were fucking awful. I think I received my first bit of hate mail the very same day Hey Steve released. It was harsh. All from the same person, but sent to my Facebook and my Twitter and Instagram. Guess they really wanted me to read it.
"And then, with each passing day, a new person, new message, just as awful. After three days I deleted Instagram and Twitter. Then I locked down Facebook but like- physical letters showed up at my house. I can't lie, it certainly felt like you'd ruined my life."
Eddie makes a wounded sound at that. "That's because I did! What I did was unforgivable and-"
"You don't get to decide for me if I forgive you or not!" Steve snaps. "I haven't actually said I did forgive you, did I? All I've said is I don't hate you."
That gets Eddie quiet again for a moment, then he says, "you ended up hospitalized because of me."
"Robin said I ended up hospitalized, and that's true, but it wasn't- It was more complicated that just being your, and your fans', fault. For people who were supposedly on 'your side' of our breakup, they used a lot of homophobic language. That's how my mom found out. The letters were easy enough to just get rid of because all the bad shit was on the inside, but someone sent a post card, and mom collected the mail that day. It's... I don't like talking about this."
"Then don't," Eddie is quick to say, "you don't have to explain anything to me, or make yourself relive these events. It's- you don't owe that to me."
"I think I need to. I wrote you a song, said I'd do it all again, and I meant that. I want you to understand why. Just. Just give me a minute."
Eddie nods and takes a sip of his coffee. He looks pleasantly surprised and takes bigger drink before his face falls into a frown as he stares down at the thermos and Steve has to look away. He turns and squeezes his eyes shut to continue. "Mom showed the postcard to my father, and he confronted me that evening. It was.... it didn't start off bad. He asked if it was true. That I was gay. I made a choice, then. I didn't have to; I could have lied. I could have told him I was straight and that I didn't understand what the postcard was saying, but I didn't.
"I knew how he felt about queer people, and I told him the truth anyway. I was bisexual. I thought it was a miracle that he didn't kick me out instantly. Instead, he calmly asked me if that meant I liked woman. I said it meant I liked more than just woman.
"Then he told me that didn't matter. That so long as I liked woman, I would be with a woman, and that we never had to speak of this again. And I told him no. He didn't get to decide that for me. He said that he would rather have a dead son than a faggot one. And I thought- I never- surely he was just meaning, like, metaphorically, right? Like, he'd disown me, kick me out or something so I scoffed and said- God, I was so stupid. I knew it wasn't safe, but I was so angry at him, I shouted 'dead or alive, I'm your faggot son so deal with it.' And he- he said 'dead it is' and he attacked me."
He hears Eddie suck in a breath, hears the crunch of snow in what could only be Eddie taking a step towards him but stopping after just one step. Steve doesn't know if he wants Eddie to close the distance and give him the hug he knows Eddie wants to do. Steve doesn't know if he'd welcome the embrace or not. He sucks in his own shaky breath, and continues, "He almost beat me to death that night. The only reason he didn't was because mom dialed 911," Steve turns around, looks at Eddie and sees the tears falling down his own face reflected on Eddie. "As far as I know, dad's still serving time for his attempted murder, so like, at least I don't have to worry about him. And mom... I don't even know what to think of that.
"She called 911, didn't want to see me die, I guess, but also couldn't have a gay son. She sold the house, and everything in it, while I was still in the hospital, and just... disappeared. Robin's family took me in. She told that story during the interview, you knoe, but I wasn't even at the house when that guy with the gun showed up. I was meeting with a lawyer.
"She-Mom was- I don't know what she was trying to do but she gave me the family business. The whole company! It felt like she was trying to buy my forgiveness, except she didn't ask for it and still hasn't contacted me. It's like... she felt guilty about what happened but hated me at the same time. Felt she needed to do something to alleviate her guilt? Or maybe she just wanted to cut herself free of the whole Harrington name; free herself from me and my father. I don't think I'll ever get closure for that one."
Steve quits talking, needs to take another moment. He'd already rambled on about more than he meant to but talking to Eddie had always done that to him. Afterall, before they dated, they'd been friends. He sips at his coffee, not knowing what else to say.
"Jesus, Stevie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know- It's no excuse but I'm just so sorry."
He doesn't think Eddie knows he called him Stevie, but it's nice to hear. "So, see, it wasn't your fault. Your song set things into motion, for sure, so it's nice to hear an apology, but like, if anyone is the bad guy in this situation, it's Richard Harrington."
"But Robin said she just had to help you move to here. That you still get hate mail, and doxxed. That's on me. I saw your list of addresses, Steve! You've had to move, like, eight times a year!"
Steve can't help the cackle that springs from him. He surprises himself with the laugh, and Eddie, too, if his wide eyes and eyebrows hidden behind his bangs are any indication. "I- yeah, I move a lot. And yes, this most recent move was because of a brick with Hey Steve scratched into it broke my living room window, but like, I've only had to move because of harassment like, four times, if I'm counting the whole mom-selling-the-house thing."
"What?"
Steve holds up a finger, adding a new one as he counts them out. "Mom sold house. Scary gun guy at Robin's. The year anniversary of your first album's release. I was still in Hawkins, figuring out what to do with all the money I'd, uhh, inherited I guess, so I was easy to find. And the most recent one. Not sure what inspired it this time. Usually, the hate mail resurges when you go on tour, but it's less and less every time. Anyway, none of those other moves are because of crazy fans."
Eddie blinks at him, a picture of confusion. "But I found a YouTube video and that guy- he showed all your old addresses. He said- I thought..."
"Well, there are a lot of addresses. But not because of your fans. I move for my job. Do you... did you even read the truck?" Steve gestures to Dustin's truck and Eddie steps around to see the printed H&H Project Flip and below that is their website.
Eddie looks back to Steve like that answers nothing. Which, fair, but it would answer a lot of questions if Eddie had looked up the website. "After that surge of anniversary hate, I knew I needed to get out of Hawkins. Robin was graduated, then, and headed to college. I decided I wanted to see more than just Hawkins. I followed Robin to college in Chicago, and uh, bought a house. A real fixer upper but that was fine. I had plenty of money to throw into it. On a whim I thought, what if I try to fix it. I had a lot of free time and if it ended up badly, I could afford to pay a professional to fix whatever I broke. I found that I loved doing that."
He's still just being looked at like he's not making sense.
Steve rolls his eyes, "I flip houses, dude. Me and Dustin. Harrington and Henderson Project Flip. I was in Chicago for three years, lots of addresses for that city. But then Robin pointed out there were a lot of states. That I should see all 50 of 'em by renovating a house in each. She'd moved in with her then-girlfriend by this time, so she said I should go. See the States at the least. So, I did. I find it easier to just live in the house I'm renovating, so I'm not paying mortgage and then rent somewhere else in the same city."
Eddie looks like he's had a rug pulled out from under him and he lets out a laugh that's a little hysterical.
"And moving so much has allowed me to meet so many amazing people, y'know? I got friends in all the states. So, like, yeah, you did ruin my life, but like, just my life from 18 to 20. So, yeah, I'd do it all again. Did you think I've been living in perpetual misery for the last ten years?"
"Robin certainly made it easy to assume that, so yeah!"
"I think she did that on purpose. To hurt you back."
"I deserve it," Eddie says. "I didn't even try to check in on you. Well, once, but when I couldn't find you on any socials I just. Gave up."
Steve shrugs. "I didn't reach out either. And if you'll remember, I broke up with you. Screamed in your face that we were over and went home."
"I don't know when, or even if, Corroded Coffin will tour again, but I swear to you, we'll never play or release Hey Steve again. And I'll release a statement, or go on camera, or something, and address this. I can't make it right, but I can make a change starting now, to do better and be better," Eddie says this while gripping his thermos to death.
"I believe you, and I forgive you."
Eddie nods grimly, then looks from Steve to the cabin, and back to Steve. "Do you think Robin will ever forgive me?"
"I don't know. You hurt her pretty badly, too. We were all best friends in school and when we broke up, you cut off Robin, too. And then, when she started to gain her own fame- I think when she first moved to LA, she thought you'd try to reach out. But you never did."
A silence falls over them, and Steve refuses to break it. He's done enough talking. They drink their coffees 'til they're empty before Eddie speaks.
"Where does this leave us?"
Steve thinks about it before answering. "You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend. You'd been in my life longer than you've been out of it. We don't have to be anything. We can have our closure and go our separate ways, if you'd prefer. But, I think I'd like another chance at being your friend."
"I can do friend," Eddie says slowly, like he's picking his words carefully. "I can. But, full transparency, I think I still love you."
It hurts to hear, after all the pain and the time, and it's a bittersweet kind of hurt. "I'll always love you, Eds. I meant it, you know, every word of the song. But I don't know if we can, or should, try again. We were so good until we weren't."
Tears spring from Eddie's eyes when Steve says he loves him, and they don't stop falling even as he's nodding along with everything Steve says. "No, I know. I know. I just, I needed you to know. Friend is, it's so fucking great. More than I ever expected, and certainly more than I dared hope."
"Come on. Let's go inside where it's warm and chat with Dustin and Robin like civilized people. I need a break from the heavy talk."
"Yeah. Me too. Thank you, Steve. For the chance."
Steve shrugs and shoots him a crooked grin. "Yeah, well, ruin this a second time and Robin will rip you to shreds on live TV, probably."
There's more to talk about. More hurts to heal and things to discuss, Steve knows. And maybe after all the talking, they'll learn they've changed too much to even be friends. But that'll be okay, because if that's how it goes, it'll be because they talked it out instead of screaming at each other in a living room.
If they've changed too much, this time, it'll end gently.
It doesn't stop Steve from letting a little bit of hope in. That this won't end, that they can find a way to be in each other's lives again.
As friends, or more.
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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birues · 4 days
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oh wait i've never made fun of old solus' ingame appearance here right.
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they really just slapped ramuh beard on varis' face and called it a day and it's hilarous bc i KNOW emet selch would be extremely offended by this
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keirientez · 2 months
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band au rahhhhhhhhhhh
#i wanted to draw the other guardians too but this would be a good start#ok so#tsuna starts his band. yamamoto bass and gokudera keys and tsuna suprisingly drummer and also lead vocal. reborn appears out of nowhere-#being “youre not your full potential so i will drain you till youre like a fish in a dehydrator until you become the best out there.”#thats about it#but i just like how drumming singers are like extremely good music people because drumming is already hard. and singing too???#absolutely insane i might say. tsuna would do this (bc reborn told him so)#he does not want to be the best but reborn exists in the paro for a reason#reborn is like maybe a famous musician who faked his death then did whatever he wanted to do while he was “alive”. then he got tsuna as his#apprentice and so so. oh yeah also whiplash (the movie) reference bc holy shit its so good. for me at least. and reborn would make tsuna go#that kind of crazy. like training until drenched in sweat from morning to night or whenever hes available. bc he knows he has potential#he just need someone to push him beyond his expected limit#btw 8059 implied#gokudera joined the band first bc yeah then comes yamamoto for fun as he had to rest from playing baseball a bit too enthusiastic#gokudera hated him so much for like being dumb??? (the goofy ah laugh) but then the two dated even before reborn made a move on tsuna#its very funny but they work it out#i was also thinking if the band ever do solos or do something not as the whole band 8059 will have their own album. itll be great#for genre im not sure?? lets just say alt rock electrojazz????#no idea but maybe ill make a playlist. maybe#sawada tsunayoshi#reborn#yamamoto takeshi#gokudera hayato#8059#r27
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Hello guys (gnc). Do any of you remember, or even care anymore, about these three bad boys? Yeah, this is the sequel. They are not really needed for you to understand this, but they do give context. As always, thanks to everyone who reads. Enjoy 💜
Ok, so maybe the distance thing wasn't as smart as initially thought.
It did give Lance the time to think clearly and the space to breathe. It also gave insomnia and the feeling of lack of warmth.
So, desperate times call for desperate measures. After that hellish race, 14 hours of travel and barely 36 of being in Canada, he was being driven to the airport, the sun already set and the lights on.
He was fidgeting with his phone, unlocking and relocking it, thinking about sending a quick message to the object of his thoughts.
Fernando had told him to let him know when he landed in Spain, but his thoughts were telling him it would have been a bother to the older man.
Logically, he knew he was going to Spain for the sole purpose of being with Nando, that Nando himself had invited him, but his brain stilled his hands.
So he took the time of the ride to calm himself.
A phone call wasn't exactly in his mind. Nando would have heard his distressed voice and the last thing Lance needed was to appear more pathetic than what he was already feeling.
So, after having passed the security line, he arrived at his gate. He still had half an hour before the flight, so he sat down, anonymous clothes and baseball cap firmly on his head, and started typing.
"hi, sorry if this is last minute, but I'm leaving Montreal, I'll be in Madrid in 12 hours"
Ok, that didn't sound horrible, nor too forward. Just informational enough. Good, safe.
Knowing Fernando, who was never apart for long from his phone, Lance expected him to answer in a few minutes.
When he stopped to think, he realised it was currently 2 in the morning in Spain.
Fuck, he'd already fucked up. He didn't want to wake up Fernando for something silly as his flight, but the thought of Fernando waking in the morning and finding his message and being exasperated, maybe even annoyed by it was just as bad.
He was spiralling so much that didn't notice both the ping from his phone and the last call for his flight. In fact he almost missed it, but was lucky enough to see the hostess almost closing it, and ran towards her, shoving his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.
She took pity of his sorry state, and made him board anyway.
Lance was so stressed by the situation that he only really settled when the plane was already flying.
Only then he took his phone out of his pocket and saw the message notification.
This is a nightmare he thought, as he read the message Fernando had sent him not even five minutes after his own.
"u 📗 the ✈️ for Asturias?"
The emoji were hilarious and helped calm him down.
Fernando could be silly, but most importantly, he understood Lance. He understood him better than Esteban, than his sister and sometimes even better than himself. He knew how hard words could be for him, how a mix of shyness and anxiety could hold him back.
He knew, and still accepted it. Still accepted him.
Despite the altitude and the locked doors, it seemed like a kaleidoscope of butterflies had taken residence inside Lance's stomach.
With a smile on his face, a little bit redder than before, he let himself doze off at the thoughts of bright days and warm arms.
-
Lance used his stopover in Paris to buy some sweets and wine for Nando. His mother had taught him well, and he was already invading Fernando's house, he wasn't going to show up empty-handed.
After finding and sitting at his gate, he quickly unlocked his phone.
On the screen appeared a new notification for a message sent 6 hours prior.
"Lancito? U ok?"
He giggled at his nickname, and quickly responded.
"yeah,sorry,just completely fell asleep on the plane, I'm in Paris, one hour and I'll leave"
Not even 5 seconds later, the phone started ringing. Did this man even have the time to read his text?
He settled in his seat, a smile spreading on his face while he brought the phone to his ear.
"Hola Nando. ¿Cómo estás?"
"Ahora mejor. Buenos días Lancito. How was the flight?"
"I slept the whole time. How is your morning going?"
"Well, stayed up too late. But woke up with your message, so is all good"
Lance could feel his cheeks growing redder and hotter.
Before he could even begin to find a reply, his flight was called.
"Ok, so I'm boarding right now, and I'll land in Madrid and then I'll take the plane for Asturias. I'll see you at the airport?" He asked, praying to see the other man as soon as possible.
"Of course, cariño. I'll see you there"
They said their goodbyes, both dying from the necessity to be near each other.
-
Fernando had always been impatient. With a personality like his, and a job where speed was the most important requirement, nobody could fault him if he didn't like to wait.
What the years had taught him, though, was that sometimes, there are some things that are worth waiting for.
Like that damned 33.
Like a long hot shower after a busy day spent in the mountains, surrounded by snow.
Like Lance.
He could admit to himself that, after the Qatar incident, he had been slowly losing his mind.
Lance had been so vulnerable and honest, it had pained him to leave as if nothing happened. But he understood and respected Lance and his choices.
And most importantly, he knew that even if they didn't see each other during the two weeks break, they would still find each other.
So he spent the first 36 hours being restless, then scolding himself for being so impatient, and then getting lost in his thoughts of soft brown hair and even softer brown eyes.
The cycle was getting to him. He found himself sleeping only a few hours the previous night, and even then he was easily woken up by the sound of the wind passing through the branches of the trees outside his window.
So it wasn't a surprise, when the light vibration of his phone on his night stand roused him.
After managing to not blind himself, he smiled when he saw the sweet update from Lance.
After sending one massage and not being responded to, he sent another one.
He was now fully awake, going back and forth between his bedroom and the kitchen.
When he started calculating how long the trip would be to the Madrid airport, and simply go and pick up Lance, he realised he was becoming insufferable even to himself.
So he forced his body to stop and inhale a deep breath.
There were a million reasons why Lance wasn't answering him. It didn't mean he was ignoring him (he was literally coming to his home to... hang out and stuff, question mark) or something bad happened (unknowable, but no news channel had reported any plane crush; he had checked multiple times, in at least 4 different languages).
Lance was probably sleeping. A bit early if his timezones calculations were right, but at least in this way he could avoid being jetlagged and too tired later on.
Smart boy he thought to himself, fond and proud in equal measure.
Reassured by these thoughts, he finally went back to his bed, and enjoyed the rather few but at least restful hours, before being woken up again by his phone.
When he read the message, he put together that Lance must have landed for his stopover and was now free.
So he didn't waste any time, and thanking his quick reflexes, he pressed the call button.
Lance's voice was like honey for his ears. He sounded well rested and impatient to see him, and Fernando couldn't help but feel the same.
He couldn't wait to have Lance in his arms again.
-
The two successive flights passed in a blur of nervousness and impatience.
When he finally landed to the Asturias airport, he could feel the vibrations running through his body.
He waited anxiously for his luggage on the baggage carousel and took it with shaky hands.
He really should calm himself, but he just couldn't.
The Spanish man was ecstatic to see him. Lance had to control the urge to run to him.
Then he stepped out of the doors, and the first face that he saw, already staring in his direction, was Fernando's.
Oh, was the only thought in his mind, now still and placid like the sea in a calm day at the beach.
He walked at a normal pace, but allowed himself to engulf the shorter man in a long and heartfelt hug.
With every second, he could feel his body relaxing more and more, the nerves leaving him with only the gentle flutter of wings in his stomach.
He disentangled his arms, and really looked at the man in front of him. He seemed to shine with the power of a thousand suns, his smile blinding and his eyes warm. Lance couldn't look away, taking long seconds to enjoy the view and the presence of the other.
They stayed quiet, until Lance's stomach grumbled, evidently empty apart from the butterflies.
As Lance blushed slightly, Fernando grinned but held out his hand.
"Come, lunch is ready. Let's go home" he said, smiling gently.
"Yeah, let's go home"
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hermanunworthy · 7 months
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(strokes normals cheek) hey baby normal? its gonna be alright
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lunarharp · 1 year
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da love zone △▲
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ncutii-gatwa · 1 year
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hihopelessromantics · 6 months
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making an nnt "god" a concrete thing with lore / biology. substance if you will. because committing to the bit is fun and nakaba missed out
inspired that the idea that not only should Meliodas and Elizabeth have a less human form but Tristan too! I love the different takes on their designs.
chapters cause this is long! and control f is our friend
canon adjacent lore
children of the gods
awakened god designs
the gods' chosen helpers
extra pet theory because I love y'all and I love elizabeth angst
@kalopsiakey @7-ratsinatrenchcoat thank you for helping out with the brainstorming for the tristan and melizabeth 'eldritch forms'! Hope you like the finished product!!
- - - - canon adjacent lore anyone ? - - - - -
In my aus, I usually go with the interpretation that the SD and DK are the latest two in a line of governing deities, with the others dying to various means. And the SD and DK blotted them out from public memory to establish the maximum amount of control for themselves.
In order to govern their realms, I propose it was a long-standing practice that gods would retain only a percentage of their power, and lend out the rest to trusted ones who help them ensure the safety and health of their realm. There might be other groups that the Archangels and Ten Commandments are in charge of!
Theoretically, this would also allow them to retain a form suitable to walk among their people. None of this taller than a castle shtick. Perhaps the DK and SD are physically magnified with their power. Part of their appearance is morphed by their will - the DK's armor, and the veil across the Supreme Diety's face seem to be symbols of their power. They can also be representative of how the DK was seen as an invincible opponent, and how now one knew the SD's true intentions but thought she's "too holy to look upon and find fault in."
To a god, sacrificing and dividing up your power (especially) in a time of peace is symbolic of trust and humility. In war, it could be neccessary to maintain one's prestige and honor as a monarch., Could mean that you value the ability to live as one of your people as one of them rather than as someone they worship.
- - - - children of the gods - - - -
What's the difference between something like the Supreme Diety and her daughter? Biologically, nothing, I'd assume. In nnt, "god" seems to be a state of being, asserted not simply by having power but by coming into your own and claiming it as you.
I propose that the gods are a conduit for that portion of their realm's magic that would otherwise roam freely, and that the other life in that realm has already absorbed, at birth, the limit each individual can handle. Biologically, that is.
For a goddess or demon to maintain that state in Britannia without cracking holes in the fabric of reality, there'd need to be some way to both reign in that power and dilute it down to a level that's manageable for that individual. And there probably are ways. Let's see what happened to Mel. His 'original powers,' when he accepted them, were raw and undivided; additionally, he had no clue how to manage a power influx of that extent and his mind was NOT in a good place to try and manage an extra extreme stressor. And uh. He has priors with letting his demon powers run amock in a destructive manner. If there's also a psychological component to how your godly powers act, that's the first uh-oh. Second uh - oh: he'd maintained complete certainty that unlocking them would have that kind of disastrous consequences for 3,000 years. self-fulfilling prophecies are a thing. especially if you believe that a demon's powers, specifically, their darkness, is deeply involved with their subconscious. Being 'a god' doesn't seem to logically coincide with being helpless. I think the real reason the DK and SD were trapped in their "bubbles" in their respective realms is their refusal to set aside that power, and walk as a simple demon or goddess even temporarily. A lack of will (in the gods' place) or a lack of control (Mel), rather than a lack of possibility. It makes it more interesting, I think!
In that case, the natural disasters we saw after Mel stepped into that power would be a result of the vast amount of demon realm magic accompanying him running completely amock in the wrong realm, interfering with the other magics present and the balance.
- - - - For "awakened god" designs! - - - -
I think Meliodas would want to keep his appearance mostly the same . . . just with more pizazz. Same with Zeldris, he seems to have it down pretty well already judging by his dramatic entrance in 4kota. If they're able to channel their powers well enough for this, I think they'd leave most 'monstrous' features toggled off while using this form except for their aura, and other associated demonic features such as wings, horns, and claws. They'd use the extra power boost to help their darkness roam with more versatility. Perhaps it'd form a tail behind them and coil about their horns and nearby loved ones like decorative, protective wreaths. It might lend a dragonlike flair to Meliodas, with several sets of horns about his face and dragonlike spines; and likewise, for Zeldris, some regal feathers and a simple, elegant floating crown - irremovable but loved - floating like a halo above his head.
I think Elizabeth would gain another pair of wings (if not more), and a dress of light in the same theme as Meliodas's assault mode outfit. She would have a magnificent crown of light, and she would hate it, she would complain that she didn't even wear a crown at her wedding, why does her magic think she'd want one? and she'd tear it off. every time. Maybe one day she'll accept it. Her brother-in-law tells her it's a symbol of how she'd given her heart, blood and breath to her realm, and to protecting the peace in Britannia, and that it's something she earned. But all she can see is this form is more grandiose than her mother's ever was, regardless of how much more like herself it looks than like some plain, no-faced worship-demanding statue. (That's how Meli describes her mother). Maybe one day! In the meantime, she released most of her original magic back to the Celestial Realm to assist in its revival. And covers up the crown with ribbons her husband sewed for her whenever she's prepping for a serious battle.
The special feature I came up with for what I'm calling Tristan's "awakened god form" is based on a biblical angel's wheels of eyes. That, except Twinkle stars, bright as a goddess's magic but as maneuverable as darkness, and they point in whichever direction he's focused on.
Wings would be feather-based, with darkness that weaves around them like the tounges of flames.
I think even the most high-level demons and goddesses would have less humanlike teeth in the back of their mouths accompanying their molars. Maybe just a little sharper, and much more durable. Maybe a second or third row of teeth that gets less prominent or even more retractable as it nears the lips. sharks come to mind. I'm jealous of their teeth. Why are ours so flimsy. Anyway. 7 rats proposed a demon / goddess child's noticably inhuman teeth might be like that of an anglerfish. Interesting idea.
Like. Uh- puts on a poetic narrator voice Like a wide smile, almost uncannily wide but almost like the way you walk with your feet pointed outward and not an emotion. And when he moves his mouth to speak or frown you can see little gleaming edges along his jaw like a set of jewels in a necklace. You're not sure what they are. Like spikes or horns but… from within. That ought to be decorative, you think, but you've thought the same about the demons’ sets of horns and their fangs and now that you think about it, the shapes surrounding the powered-up goddesses'… is they really magic or something supernatural beyond your mind’s comprehension. . . ?
As for the eyes - dark, demon-colored with swirling golden triskeles in the center. Since in normal form he already has the duality - and it makes sense considering how goddess and demon powers present themselves in their eyes - I think hiding the heterochromia in his eldritch form would make it more horrifying. Like, now we are stepping away from physics into what a “god” is in this universe. The darkness spills out of his eyes like the whisps of dry ice ofc!
- - - the gods' chosen helpers: examinating the the SD's blessings and the DK's curses - - - -
3/4 Archangels' Graces channel a certain element of nature: wind (Tornado), water (Ocean), light (Sunshine), with Ludociel's Flash being the odd one out. I propose this is because Ludociel has such a tainted mindset the only Grace that would take him is the one representing swift, determined action (because hehe). The Ten Commandments, unlike the Graces, have a further element of control - their double-edged nature - suggesting the DK isn't as thorough of a manipulatior (deadbeat hehe) as the SD and cannot rely on his command alone to gain 100% of the TC's focus. There's been clear tampering with the power it gives them, and less trust; they're artificial compared to the Graces, one of which was said to have chosen Escanor of its own free will. As for what they can do - they represent values that are considered virtues. Except for purity. what the hell does Derieri's purity do again? Not that she NEEDS that extra power, for the love of god the brute force trauma of this woman's second blow would probably cause permanent damage. Anyway, love forces those with hatred in their hearts to stand down from a fight (objectively not a bad thing), truth does the truth thing, etc.
These are not neccessarily combat-focused powers, though they are used and intended as such. It's not a stretch to say they could be utlized in a different manner in times of peace. The Demon Realm has probably countless small villages and intellegent species for the King to oversee and keep the peace between. It makes sense for him to have more vassals from that standpoint. Meanwile, the Celestial Realm from what we can tell has fallen into disrepair without the routine care of its people. I'm gonna go ahead and headcanon that the natural phenomenon here is at least as 'extreme' in human terms as the demon realm's, and that effectively managing a system of islands in the sky with probably dozens of intellegent migratory creatures like sky fish, etc. does take some supernatural effort. And that most of the goddess population here is centralized in one main area. Pretty much all nakaba has given us is an implied lack of diversity in the celestial realm (why everyone look like that except for Tarmiel) (it's fine we can make the creatures ourselves). Anyway. A not-double-edged-sword version of the Commandments and the current Graces could be repurposed to aid in civil relations (people), and enviornmental mangement (nature) respectively.
-- - - - - extra! pet theory as to why Elizabeth is an only child - - - -
I have a pet theory for my holy war au that Elizabeth wasn't made like a human child and is, rather, a genetic clone the SD shaped of herself (think shaping a living being out of clay) as well as just one in a succession of rebellious (and very dead) attempts at the perfect daughter. This is why there's only one of her, while Meliodas has a sibling, and why she's older than Meliodas. Until Elizabeth, there was no proof that what the SD and DK wanted could be managed without serious consequences. The SD learned that just having the one is important for the amount of control she wants over her daughter. She only has so much patience, and the sisters tended to back each other over her. Thank - well, herself - that they were so young. . . all those times. This is why the DK insisted on totally eliminating his children's emotions; he thinks so long as they don't care for one another, and don't even think to, he can manage as many as he wishes. Otherwise, he thinks the SD is a loon who failed like four times in succession, and refuses to acknowledge that he specifically waited for her to succeed, "learning" from her mistakes, before having his own children.
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derpinette · 24 days
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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT
#EVERYONE#NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER#i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving#literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things#for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW#so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing#so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head#ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan#OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG#& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted#to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it#i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN#like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...
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spacebugarts · 4 days
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I think The Underworld is definitely my favorite song but I can't listen to it without sobbing uncontrollably yet and I'm way too dehydrated to cry any more today :/
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neimanswrld · 3 months
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the scene where andrew and fletcher sit across from each other at the table and they just ... talk ... Like, they TALK and there's nothing wrong going on. just a mentor and his successor that he finally got after years of trying
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dreamsrunfaster · 13 days
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god i love watching old discovery. every season is pitch-perfect to the moment it was released. it met us in our grimdark misery and said hold my hand and it led us to the 32nd century.
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