#to all muslim mutuals and to myself and to everyone else

[kevindavidday]

ramadan mubarak to everyone! keep palestine in your prayers and hope for a better future always. (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

#ramadan mubarak #to all muslim mutuals and to myself and to everyone else #it's heartbreaking to see what's happening in gaza but pls don't close your eyes to it #free palestine

[menalez]

We know which people are the ones that commonly use Yehudi as an insult and we know what used to happen to people suspected of being Yehudi in Arab countries even in the 1980s. There is absolutely no equivalence between the state of anti semitic bigotry in middle east today and Western countries. And look at how terrorist attacks have plagued synagogues in Tunisia and how they have been vandalised in the wake of the Hamas attacks. Stop using them as your token when they have no option but to support Palestinians to survive in their Muslim majority population. Two wrongs may not make a right but the fact is middle eastern countries and societies continue to get away with far worse atrocities historically and currently while complaining about victimisation when they face a fraction of what they mete out to their minorities.

so your counterpoint is to reiterate the same thing u said in ur last msg? ok i’ll repeat myself too then: “have u ever heard the saying “two wrongs don’t make a right”? a religious ethnostate built off of oppressing, killing, and expelling the native population isn’t somehow ok because antisemitism is a global phenomenon that exists today & has existed historically. consider that before u use antisemitism as an excuse for apartheid, genocide, colonialism, and oppression. 👍🏾”

the fact is middle eastern countries and societies continue to get away with far worse atrocities historically and currently

define getting away with far worse atrocities? because i think out of like 15 middle eastern countries, several are war-torn. several are impoverished. north africa’s people are also impoverished. and basically all of us live under dictatorships, many of them being put into power by our colonisers or western powers.

lebanon has been ravaged by wars for decades, iraq too, palestine has been reduced to enclaves and a besieged open air prison & is also war-torn, so is yemen, so is syria. that’s 5 countries out of 15… so about 20% of middle eastern countries are war-torn.

egypt is impoverished and has been under a dictatorship for a while, iran has been under a dictatorship for a while, bahrain & saudi arabia too, and nearly all our countries, really.

so what atrocities is the middle east even getting away with? because the west seems to have no problem killing us and destroying our nations when it benefits them, while uplifting our dictators and oppressors also when it benefits them. what do u want us to do about it? we had the arab spring which has resulted in worse conditions for us and in the west helping many of our dictators. what punishment is sufficient for you? because non-existent weapons of mass destruction resulted in iraq being completely destroyed, and the countries that tend to get away with shit are the dictators that ally with the west not the countries that are more moral. many of these are the same countries that have normalised or were about to normalise relations with israel. what are the atrocities that we get away with that everyone else is held accountable for? because i dont recall it being us who is getting away with killing countless civilians or stealing resources, thats western countries esp the US and countries like israel.

and ultimately you can’t even elaborate how an apartheid ethnostate started by europeans (rather than the middle eastern jewish people you tokenise to justify genocide) killing, expelling, oppressing, and colonising the local population is apparently fighting against any of this. you’re just trying to justify it by weaponising antisemitism, as if combatting antisemitism necessitates acts like ethnic cleansing or genocide or colonialism or apartheid. as if there aren’t renowned jewish activists and movements that are both speaking against antisemitism and against israel’s actions. as if criticising antisemitism and criticising genocide and colonialism are mutually exclusive.

#tunisian jews are apparently now ben-gurion or theodor herzl

[elysianslove]

hello i am REALLY confused about this

should we create a tag like nsfr for for ramadan so our muslim mutuals and followerd cannot see dark content in their dash? or no? since i always see two different opinion thst we shouldn't tag nsfr or we should create a tag for ramadsn like nsfr

i really want to be respectful and all 🥺 just want everyone to be safe with my blog

hi lovely!! thank you for asking it means a lot that you’re being so thoughtful and respectful!! <3 

honestly, it’s really up to you! i’m not gonna say you have to tag nsfw and dark content nsfr, because at the end of the day it’s your blog and you can choose to do with it what you’d like. but also a lot of people are using nsfr (not safe for ramadan) just so that muslims on tumblr can block it and safely scroll through their dash, interact with their followers, anons and mutuals, without the risk of breaking their fast. 

at the end of the day, it’s up to you! as a muslim blogger that does write nsfw, i’m not going to be writing nsfw at all, and i’ve asked my followers not to send in nsfw asks starting tomorrow so that i’m not exposed to it. there is still the risk i’m gonna come across something on my dash, but if i’m gonna log onto tumblr while fasting, it’ll mainly be to check for important notifications and answer asks. i’ve done my part for myself and my own blog, you know? what everyone else does for themselves is up to them, depending on how much they’re on tumblr, how they’re interacting, etc. 

EDIT: PLEASE CHECK MY REBLOG (my full reply isn’t showing up and i’m not sure why, apparently there’s some mess up. anyways yes, i talk about this more in depth in my reblogs, please check!) 

i think it’s very thoughtful that people have thought up the tag nsfr, and it’s honestly really helpful. but also! some people are just tagging their work appropriately as they always do, adding warnings, adding a read more. that’s good too! so whatever works for you you can do it! there are alternatives, basically. like i said, you’re not obligated to do any of these things, especially if you yourself don’t celebrate ramadan, but you’re also very welcome to do so! 

i hope i answered your question lovely, and please ask me anything else if you need to! i’d love to help in any way. have a great day, mwah <3 

#asks #sal speaks <3 #about ramadan

[awed-frog]

Hi, I hope this is ok to ask. I've seen some of your posts on Destiel and wondered when you left the fandom and why? It sounds like it was a long time ago? I ask because I saw so many people so certain about the outcome and then freak out when it ended badly, as it probably always would have. It just made me wonder what the red flags were for you. I saw them myself mainly from the reactions of fellow shippers attacking even those who agreed w/them, but that was very recent. What was it for you?

I don’t know exactly. 

I think I got fed up when the show started to get worse and worse, with tons of weird stuff, bad writing and plot holes and Dean and Cas being virtually strangers, at which point the atmosphere around Destiel-positive meta writers turned sort of messianic. Some people were acting like they *knew*, and they never apologized for getting stuff wrong. Instead, it was either ‘Wait until next week, this is a slow-burn’ or ‘I was actually right, it’s there in the magnificent subtextual clues you are too stupid to see’. There was always only one explanation, one *truth* only that specific person and their friends could uncover, and everyone who disagreed was yelled out of the circle. There was a gradual cleaning out of the tags until all ‘negativity’ (ie, all forms of criticism) were filtered out, and endless circle-jerky activities to reinforce the ‘right’ opinions. One good example of this is how surveys suddenly multiplied and how they all got the same kind of results - either because only some fans (the ‘right’ kind) cared enough to take part or because of actual manipulation (I once saw someone reblogging their survey like ‘Signal boost! This has too many [wrong] answers! We need more people with [right] opinions!!’. 

At the same time, I started getting more and more messages from people who were disappointed with the show but were afraid to speak out, or felt stupid for not ‘seeing’ and ‘understanding’ where the story was (allegedly) going. Finally, it got to a point where a single bad episode, and the endless ‘No, but you see?? This actually supports [right] opinion!’ posts that came with it would ruin my mood for an entire week. At that point, thank God, a few people both on tumblr and IRL stepped in and were like ‘Dude, wtf? Just get out’, so I did.

As for the dates, I joined tumblr around S10 and stopped watching during S13 (I think; I don’t even remember what S13 was about, so it’s hard to be sure).

I think the main reasons why I ignored those red flags for so long are:

The way social media are built, how you’re stuck inside your bubble, start getting addicted to the number of followers and likes and asks, feel *important* and *liked*, slowly learn to self-censor so you can fit in; and also the infinity scrolling, the activity log, the ‘Someone is wrong on the internet’ syndrome, hate mail and trolls and seeing friends and mutuals getting doxxed for wrongthink.

I was actively trying to drown. My life back then was a nightmare. Obsessing over a show was way better than being alone with my thoughts, and getting mad at some nobody on tumblr created the right amount of emotion to bury everything else. Looking back, it all seems idiotic. I knew it could happen, I’d read about it, I’d seen it happen IRL, and yet it still happened to me. It sounds stupid, but if you build yourself a cage to stay safe, you end up getting trapped.

I’m sure there are people who get to enjoy fandom in the right way - I even know some of them. They find friends, enjoy the content they see and create, can treat the whole thing as a harmless hobby. Personally, I find bubbles of any kind very bad for my life and my mental health, mostly because they’re inevitably dominated by those who spend a long time in there - generally extremists and weirdos. The option we now have to filter out opinions we don’t like - that’s how radicalizing works. It sounds overdramatic, but there’s a direct link between those fans who were so shocked by the SPN finale they’re now believing conspiracy theories and everyone else - the QAnon people, the anti-vaxxers, teenage gamers who’re sucked into the alt-right, unhappy Muslims recruited by ISIS - it’s always the same process. Talk often, talk loudly, talk with authority, cut people off other sources, make people feel special because they’re the only ones who understand and promise them the Good Thing is coming. Sometimes cult leaders know exactly what they’re doing; other times they’re just deluded, narcissistic, charismatic people with too much time on their hands who legit believe what they’re saying and don’t realize the damage they’re doing, but the playbook is exactly the same. When it comes to the SPN fandom, I heard many stories similar to mine, and I hope people who find themselves overgrieving after that awful finale will soon get their own ‘Dude, wtf? Just get out’ moment and take that advice. There’s a whole world out there, and it’s not half bad.

#ask #fandom problems #cults #brainwashing #radicalization #discourse #untagged #meanwhile irl

[queerbaitesque]

what are some of the similarities between sicily and campania/sicilian and neapolitan? You talk about them a lot, and I was curious to know more about how they're similar!

hi! this ask makes me genuinely so happy!! where do i even begin!

first off, i just want to specify that im from naples and even tho i know campania pretty well, i know the coast way better than the mountains and the countryside plus the only places in sicily ive been to are palermo/mondello and cefalù.

also, a lot of what im about to say probably relates to the rest of southern italy as well but im only gonna mention sicily and campania specifically.

that being said, campania and sicily have a lot in common, culturally, linguistically and ~ethnically~.

GREEKS: both regions were colonized by the greeks so we both have greek roots and even share some myths. the myth of icarus is probably the most famous one: icarus fell in the sea off the coasts of sicily and daedalus (his father) landed there to build a temple to apollo, then he took off again and landed in cuma (campania) and built another temple to apollo.

ARABS: while sicily is the only region in italy to have actually been ruled by the arabs, there are quite a few cities in campania that were founded or occupied by the arabs (mostly islands, like ischia, or cities on the coast, like salerno). this means that both campania and sicily (especially sicily) were heavily influenced by the arab and, by extension, muslim world, which is quite evident even today as you may be able to tell from the amounts of STAIRS THEY PUT EVERY- FUCKING-WHERE  for example, there are some words in the neapolitan language that were borrowed from arabic.

speaking of,

LANGUAGES: neapolitan and sicilian were the most spoken languages in southern italy before (and even some time after) 1861. “neapolitan” as we mean it today simply refers to the language spoken in naples, but that is in fact just a dialect of neapolitan. actual neapolitan was the language spoken in most of southern italy. sicilian was the language spoken in the rest of southern italy (except for like salento that had its own language). both languages have several dialects and they both share the same roots and influences: ancient greek, latin, arabic, french and spanish.

during the reign of federico ii, the use of neapolitan and sicilian in literature was heavily encouraged, though unfortunately most of old neapolitan and sicilian poetry was destroyed or just lost in time. literature in neapolitan and sicilian has never ceased to be produced, tho (Lo Cunto De Li Cunti was published in 1634 and they made a movie out of it in 2015, “Tale of Tales”)

VOLCANOES: literally all of italy’s volcanoes (except for the one in rome) are located in campania and sicily. the ones in campania are all in the neapolitan area (the Vesuvius, Ischia and the Phlegrean Fields -a supervolcano of over 40 craters), whereas the ones in sicily are mostly islands, except for the Etna which is in Catania. All the underwater volcanoes are also located between sicily and campania. very sexy, i know

BYZANTINES: i know the byzantine empire technically ruled over all of italy, but for a relatively short time, because the langobards conquered most of italy and the only byzantines left in italy were in naples and in sicily. even the rest of campania was conquered by the langobards. both naples and sicily were heavily influenced by the byzantine culture. on that note, one of my fave neapolitan churches is a byzantine one: the basilica of san giovanni maggiore (where there’s also a plaque with an inscription that refers to naples as parthenope <3)

i could go oooon and oooon and oon and i wouldnt get tired of talking about campania and sicily but this is getting too long lmao so, onto my personal feelings:

as a napolitan, ive never felt at home anywhere else other than naples and palermo. ive travelled all throughout southern italy (except for calabria which is criminal, i know, but i will redeem myself one day) and ive been to some places in center italy (the north is too expensive lmao); my mom is from a small town in puglia so i go visit often cause her side of the family is there, but ive never at home in any of those places. 

walking through the streets of palermo truly felt like walking through the streets of naples. idk why but it felt amazing

AND!! everyone loved neapolitans!! so i guess it was mutual!! literally everywhere me and my friends went people recognized us from our accent and cheered us! once one guy in a grocery shop heard us talking and yelled FORZA NAPOLI! it was so pure. 

to be honest even though im well aware of the similarities (and differences) between sicily and campania, i dont really know how to explain the genuine love and admiration sicilians and neapolitans have for each other. maybe its byzantine solidarity, idk but i love sicily and sicilians with all of my heart and if i dont get to move to sicily one day im gonna fight god

#also #both regions are hella gay #like seriously i forgot to mention that they were gay havens for centuries esp. naples (the city) cause there was no spanish inquisition #and we're both snake fuckers #asks #italy tag

[sui-senka]

The dumbest post

I think y’all should be here to witness the dumbest post I’ll ever make, as I’m not all about getting into discourse and that, and any other self-identifying Vergil lovers please come here:

@creepyscritches, @brasspetalsx, @fandomhell97, @breezeinmonochromenight, @kaldea88, @xalmasyx, @hornyangrybean, @noir-sorrow, @catspook, @xenontrioxide, @zilla-may-cry, @boobble, @vergilshusband, @tifaroni, @littlebluewraith, @im-a-clown, @genovaempera, @neodicronus, @thelessiknowtheworse, @thriilsy, @jestermania, @bunny-girl-sweetseek, @darka3363, @witchkiid, @45, @manadebutt, @magsamaire, @spaghetti-queerghetti, @clairexredfields, @204863-yunglynn, @yuri-subtext, @miss-soso-25, @josuke-kujo, @cameguisada, @trionfi, @glitteryhumanfiretrash, @lewdbunbun, @journalofsparda, @complacentdevil, @infernokid, @emogodmatthew, @brit-o-raptor, @salsa-and-chips, @gemstone-enema

I’d like y’all to bear witness, as I take down this bitch-ass clown. As I’ve blocked the person in question that I want to call out - please tag them into this post to have at them ;) Also - to the other people that didn’t get this, tag your mutuals and get them here.

I’d also like to announce that @thephantomporg84 is now masquerading as @derelict-stranger, and I got a few messages a few days ago about how she was gonna take down her account, and how she wants me to block all of you, which is ridiculous as you are all blogs that I have known and followed way before her and also I don’t know you either. I told her that I didn’t want to be involved in her drama, but here I am. 

It’s kinda hard for me to make this post, as I genuinely thought that she was cool in the beginning - she helped to give me more DMC asks in my inbox, and she always reblogged my stuff, as I’ve been trying to make it with the big guys - like @myfairmidnightladyspade.

But I saw the stuff that she says online to you all, and I think I got some anon messages from her asking if I was a terf or not... and yeah - my heart broke. I feel like I have been deceived in some way. What I wanted to be there was someone who was cool, and funny to talk to, but turns out that person is petty, heartless, immature and straight up spiteful.

I may have to justify myself in why I got messages from her - I was only trying to console her, but to do it in a neutral way as I wanted no part in her drama.

Also - i’m probably not gonna show any evidence for how much she sucks cause there’s tags and anon posts dedicated to that sort of thing

I want you on tumblr, and you on Reddit to find her, and in the /v/ section of 4chan to block her and report her for all she’s done. I want you to wipe her existence from the internet until there is nothing left.

Now - I need to change the flow of the conversation by directing it to you, @derelict-stranger.

I’d like you to kindly log off, take a breather and think, for a second about the actions that you’ve done to the people that I’ve mentioned above. 

I’d also like to tell you that your suggestion to block all those people above is complete nonsense. Why would you make me block blogs who have perfectly decent and awesome content, and to those who I have talked to longer than you? why would you make me block blogs who I don’t know? Quit trying to get me on your side. I want no part in your drama like I said before, and stop trying to manipulate me into getting me to give a shit about you.

I’d also like to tell you that your situation is entirely self-inflicted. That you trying to talk to me won’t work, the only reason that people are apparently “attacking you” - is because you, in fact, are the instigator, are the catalyst of all this hatred.

You - @derelict-stranger, lack any ability whatsoever to disagree well. From where I’m looking, all of this started because you don’t like Vergil from the Devil May Cry games and you don’t like the plot of 5, which seems extremely stupid to me, as he’s only a small-ish part of 1, one of the best boss-fights in 3 and just a mere mention in 4. The fact that you need to incessantly attack content creators who merely like him is stupid. Either keep those opinions to yourself, ignore them, or do my favourite -> stick ‘em up your big stupid ass.

It’s also stupid that when people merely like him - you have to bring in your own shitty opinions. No one asked you what you thought, and I’m pretty sure you’re actively seeking out fights with people just to feel good about yourself. It’s also super hypocritical of you ragging on about how much Vergil sucks, when you go crazy for Kylo Ren, as they share some similarities in terms of their vibes and traits. (Yeah - I see you asking for smutty Kylo Ren x Reader requests online.....) Why do you get pissy when people like villainous fictional characters - do your knickers

What I just want to know is what kind of personal gratification you get when you actively hate on a character, and what kind of gratification you get when just because someone disagrees with you - that you have to result using death threats, rape threats, pedophilia threats, racism, slurs, and ableism,  transphobia, alt-right rhetoric, neo-Nazi shit, pro-Trump, and homophobic comments to content creators just doin’ their own thing. Is it just to feel like the bigger man, is it to make yourself sound smarter than the other person (Cause you don’t) - like what actually motivates you, what actually makes you want to shit on other people’s parades, huh? Sounds to me like you need to get a life.

The fact that you always need to play the victim is sad and pathetic too:

- That you’re on the spectrum: - Okay, there are a lot of people who are on the spectrum here on tumblr. But they don’t use it as an excuse to justify shitty behaviour especially if it’s unitentional. as I’m sure they and the people they know are. I’m sure they apologise and try to get on with life like how NT people do. As you know - a lot of people of the spectrum feel like they’re being treated as sub-human being babies that do nothing but screech all the time, and they’re taking action to change those perceptions. Your behaviours are not helping their cause.

- That you use depression as an excuse - I’m kinda sympathetic to the whole mental health issues thing. I have them too. In fact, I am a hot mess. But I don’t use that to excuse me hurting other people with intention, and I’m sure many others don’t either. At least 1/4 or 1/3 will have some mental health issues in their life, and yeah, it sucks, and it’s common but it doesn’t make them exempt from them being called out on their shitty acts. the fact that so many people are and can be mentally ill doesn’t make you special, and it doesn’t give you a free pass to attack others.

- The fact that you try to bait people into making anti-semitic comments, so you can call them anti-semitic. Dude, that’s low. I’m pretty sure that’s gaslighting and manipulation as well. You don’t get the right to use your religion/race in that way as a defence when you’re feeling attacked so that you come off a better person. I’m friends with many jewish people, and they’d never have the gall to do that. I know that your peeople have had it rough, but you can’t use that in an argument just to prove that the other one is a piece of shit, when it is in fact you. I’m muslim, a WOC, and ancestrally speaking, from a country that your so-beloved president essentially banned their right to seek a better life in the states. For as long as I can remember - I’ve seen news about my kind being universally hated, I’ve been brought up in a post-9/11 world where for as long as I can remember that me and our kind are the enemy (so I can sympathise) - but you don’t see me and other muslims here using those petty tactics that you use, because unlike you, we’re not myopic and we know that won’t get us anywhere.

I mean, this behaviour sounds bratty and childish - so I was thinking, she’ll probably grow out of it. Then I find that you’re in you’re mid-twenties, and I think “you really haven’t grown up at all, have you?”, and honestly it just makes the behaviour worse as you are resulting to middle school/high school tactics -> especially making me block all those people, calling them sociopaths and evil bitches. This ain’t high school or Mean Girls, moron, this is a fandom. A place where people can create, share, like and comment on content that makes you happy. I don’t think you understand what that means - cause all I see, and everyone sees is you spewing hatred everywhere. Fandoms are supposed to make you feel included, feel happy, feel safe, be a place to make friends. I don’t think you know that, and I don’t think you are even smart enough to realise that you are the reason why our fandom isn’t happy.

And honestly, at this point, the hatred you are getting is well deserved. You deserve to feel like shit if all you are going to do is make others feel like shit.

I don’t know what else to say but:

1. Get the hell away from our fandom

2. Get rid of your internet connection.

3. Get a life.

4. We don’t want you here.

5. You’re scum.

6. Go suck a dick, or flick a bean, whatever gets you off you troglodyte.

I liked you man, I really did. Then I saw how you treat others, and now I know I made a dumb life choice in making friends with you. If only you weren’t such a piece of shit, we could have been good friends.

I don’t want you here on tumblr. They don’t want you here. No-one wants or needs a toxic parasite like you on this website.

Yours sincerely,

sui-senka, who just sucked Vergil’s dick yesterday, and liked it.

#devil may cry #dmc #discourse #dmc discourse #honk off #thephantomporg84 #derelict-stranger #🤡

[glarehand]

ranting a bit here bc as little as i interact w/ the rp community, largely due to focus issues, depression, and anxiety, i really do appreciate my mutuals, especially in light of being in different fandoms where things’ve happened and i just. Angery

so under the cut is a funny? irritating? text-wall about some star wars related stuff i’m bothered by lol

1. shipping; i like shipping. it’s fun, it’s interesting, i get to explore things in fiction that i don’t want to as strongly or at all irl as an aroace person, etc. first problem; i ship the clones bc i viewed them as, well, clones. an aggrandized version of that buzzfeed poll abt fucking clones, if u will. i view them as “brothers” in a wartime/militaristic sense because they’re... they’re clones. they’re the same person a million times that post-cloning, sought out ways to enhance their originality (tattoos, interests, etc) past their voices, abilities, personalities, and so on. they have originality but that isn’t compromised by their existence as people based off the same template. 

some people interpret them as literal brothers which is fine too! i only consider jango fett the father of boba fett/boba fett the son of jango fett, despite boba also being a clone. especially in mandalorian culture, adoption is as valid as blood, and boba fett’s relationship to jango fett absolutely strengthens this but it’s unique in that jango adopts one son/views the clones as the jedi army separate from himself and his son/dies without having any particular association with them.

but still, regardless, i can understand why people interpret them that way and i don’t have a problem with it and enjoy peoples’ differing interpretations. but when someone mentions that shipping the clones is undeniably incest (disregarding that cloning = incest is not by any means something that can be overlapped from fiction to real life so easily? it’s sci-fi so we also shouldn’t be seeking out real life parallels to things nor considering those parallels so hard proven?) it’s like... can you shut up for two seconds LOL like it... they’re... i don’t know how to explain to you that trying to draw hard lines between things unique to sci-fi and things in real life doesn’t work as flawlessly as that. if so, we could easily turn any other media into sci-fi or any sci-fi content into slice-of-life, deciding that of course the clones would be a million literal brothers and lightsabers would be 1000 degree knives and half the aliens would just be animals- like that’s stupid and disregarding the uniqueness of the media (though i adore aus- this isn’t a dig at aus or canon divergence bc that’s literally all i do)

and outside of some specific posts i’ve seen abt this, a groupchat i was in mentioned no rule abt this or any other ship related issues, meaning that i was existing inside the chat but with this heinous feeling secret? like i felt i either had to out myself for something someone else had decided was wrong or continue existing in the chat but not get too close to anyone, out of fear of a friendship being suddenly terminated over something as foolish as character interpretation (which can and should exist separately, at once).

in addition to the internal shipping/not shipping the clones debate, was clone/jedi shipping, preferred ships, and what this means in regards to what was left in terms of shipping options, if that was something someone wanted to engage in (which i do, and that they did as well)

2. for clone/jedi shipping, i understand the possible issues of a power imbalance or how the relationships are portrayed in media-only. but at the same time and as is mentioned above, we have to suspend our belief a bit for fiction, especially with sci-fi. the militaristic/war aspect of star wars is the point of that media; it doesn’t seek to glorify or mimic real life roles (ahsoka is a general at 14, amongst other things; that in particular allows for kids to feel like they’re part of the show, like they could do be a jedi and save people at age 14, because what would be the fucking point of it if we showed only adults saving the world/14 year olds with only 14 year old responsibilities? to an extent, it’s an escape and while it’s odd writing to hold ahsoka to the standards of mace, obiwan, even anakin, it should at least be a fantastical opportunity for self-insertion/daydreaming to an extent) it has a strong focus on rebellion which can be applied in non-physical/non-warlike ways, and isn’t without the fictitious aspect of fucking laser swords and telekinetic manipulation. the wartime aspects of star wars don’t need to be followed as closely as real life regulations and expectations; if done that way, even leia and han as a ship would involve a power dynamic seeing as he technically becomes a part of the rebellion under her leadership.

in terms of 3. show-only content and the above about power imbalances, that’s what fanfiction is for. in general and in relation to that chat, full of creators and writers and so on, fanfic is for elaborating on given content, filling in content that hasn’t been given, and for rewriting things you feel have been done wrong, artistically or just because you don’t like it. an example for me is barriss offee’s arc and timeline; not only does her timeline in the prequels differ from her timeline in the clone wars show but her character seemed to be thrown away so easily, her actions made out of character in addition to her fate being the opposite of what it had been in “higher” canon. there’s also the very valid interpretation of how bad it was that the show made the muslim-coded character a terrorist BUT even disregarding people’s headcanons of her as a muslim woman and just focusing on it in a sci-fi sense, it seemed very out of character, done just to create an antagonist and an opportunity for ahsoka’s development and disillusionment with the jedi/council so of course people gravitate to rewriting her arc/redoing her character/adhering to a mix of the canons, and so on. not that people who view canon as the most important aspect of a work are wrong but like, even fanfic that adheres to canon is in a way diverging from it; if what someone creates isn’t exactly how it happened on screen, canon-compliant, involves no ulterior emotions or added scenes, it’s based on interpretation. 

people who invest themselves in ships that have no basis (4) were also mentioned and that’s just as valid a part of creating. i understand in some cases, people will ship anyone together knowingly or unknowingly to fetishize gay relationships but it’s not a sin to decide you want to see two characters interacting more or want to elaborate on what canon didn’t discuss or want to create backstories and relationships out of the blue OR just outright decide you have two favorite characters and want to explore them together, even in just an nsfw sense.

so being anti clone/clone, anti jedi/clone, and anti any characters that don’t really interact is not only dictating what ships are “right” and “wrong” based on one’s own interpretation and willingness to strictly adhere to canon but what other options are you giving us to ship the clones???

again, not that nonromantic story aspects and single character discussion isn’t important but romance and romance options are important to people and if presented and possible, people shouldn’t be prevented from doing it just because people think it’s wrong with no legitimate basis OR don’t allow people to warp canon (especially canon they don’t like or think is contradictory and out of character) to suit what they wish to explore.

there was one option left though and i dislike the new association i have in my head of it now because of all the problems above, though i assume it wasn’t done on purpose: 5. disregarding in-show shipping possibilities for self inserts

i love self inserts and my love for them has been amplified by the chat i was in, making me feel more confident in doing it myself and i am very happy with that in that i can have more love for myself in writing myself and shipping myself with someone else. but it was odd that all other possibilities were almost struck down in favor of self inserts; if cloneshipping was automatically incest, disregarding that that’s not the conclusion everyone had come to? that my brain just didn’t assume it because it’s a sci-fi only situation?, jedi/clone ships were unhealthy and based off of power imbalances/characters not truly caring for one another, and shipping characters together for the fun of it had no value as characters apparently had to know one another enough/there had to be validity in it, the only option left was to rewrite canon but only for one’s own purposes, valid only in this one case.

that just annoyed my mildly and i know it most likely wasn’t intentional but overall, i’ve felt unable to have headcanons or do certain things at the risk of being visibly mocked for it; having different faves and ships and interpretations and kinks are all parts of people’s varying fandom experiences and to have people talking about how much they don’t like that on a very visible separate discord channel where i could go in and see? and just hope that something i adored wasn’t next? is not fun at all and genuinely impacted me to where i don’t really want to have fun with people i’d liked before, where i don’t really want to post and create like i was doing when i didn’t know people were deciding based on preferences what was morally appropriate.

one of the rules in the chat was essentially that anyone could have any fave character but that discourse still stood; yes but sometimes i just want to like a character or ship? without having to preface it with how i know x thing was bad and that i don’t condone it. 

kain highwind is my favorite final fantasy character- i don’t want to have to justify my love for him, in situations where i know he was in the wrong and in situations where i think the canon content contradicted other canon descriptions of him, creating two images of who they wanted him to be; i interpret him as i interpret him and it’s unique and dear to me. 

a lot of the time, i want to create and appreciate without having to make it right for someone else’s interpretation. i don’t want to approach a groupchat or even single person friendship assuming i’m going to have to defend my favorites as ultimately a representation of myself. when i do hold my favorites close to me as extensions of me, i don’t want to have to pit myself against someone else as if i’m invalid for how i feel and interpret and am.

in general, things quickly became not fun at all and i felt alienated by an entire group all at once. like it fucking SUCKS to feel like you’ve lost 6? potential friends in one place, 3 in another, in addition to having to be wary from now on when engaging with anyone else in that fandom and after losing two friends in real life over disagreements, both times because i was misinterpreted and had to then reconsider myself especially in relation to my mental illnesses and my neurodivergency. to then feel disliked for something as stupid as shipping preferences feels as it is- foolish and embarrassing and ridiculous.

i would like to make friends but i would like for friendships in fandom to stop being so circumstantial, especially on trivial things

#misc #personal post lol #i lost where i was partway thru i think so i'm sorry if it stops makign sense but i am frustrated lol #i'm mostly over it now but i #it feels weird to like see ppl i wanna talk to but feeling like i'm not allowed to bc of something this fucking dumb

[understandingthevoices]

~ wrote a thing about identifying narcissistic abuse in the brown girl group i’m a part of since so many brown boys are narcs lmao and it was so well-received that I thought i would share here too ~ 

Recently a few people asked me how I became aware of my ex's personality disorder and how I started my healing process w/o a therapist (though if I had seen someone, perhaps this would have been faster)...

It's a LONG one but hopefully informative!!

So we had been on and off for years since college - with me realizing flaws he had and him making it up to me until the next one hit and so on and so forth (and I thought, yay! change! this can work***) - but then it came to a point where I told him enough was enough and we deserved to find people who made us happy and maybe we could revisit "us" in the future. But he cried and told me he couldn't lose me and wanted to actually try the "love" thing out... So, I allowed myself to believe he was for real -- and (somewhat) let down my emotional guards that I had held for self-preservation. Things seemed to be going okay - we would send each other hearts, talk about our future house, kids, etc and everything was fine and dandy, and I thought I was "happy" or "happy enough" - after all, I had the guy right? What more could I want?

But then, let me take you to a Friday afternoon at Trader Joes's, where I was grabbing my groceries and suddenly noticed something: along with her groceries, every woman was walking out with flowers, which I imagined was because of a scheduled date night. it seems so silly now, but at that moment, I broke down into tears because I realized I wanted that too - and if I continued in my old patterns only because it (he) was familiar and all I had known, I would never get that.

He would tell me about our beautiful future life together but wouldn't even take a 4 hour train to visit me.

Basically, He could talk a big talk, he could weave stories about anything to make me believe in us (and he was a MASTER storyteller and had a vivid imagination), but he couldn't walk the walk. Or rather, he didn't care to walk the walk. And if I brought these things up, he would belittle me or say he was busy, essentially reframing my needs as unimportant and not worthy of consideration. But then he would cover it up by saying our kids would be beautiful and smart, he would leave NYC to be in Boston for me, etc - and it was so easy to get sucked in, so tempting to believe this was only temporary.....

But then I would have insomniac nights, where I was filled with anxiety/sadness because I knew I wasn't happy - and the breakdown in Trader Joe's confirmed that

And he had already conditioned me into understanding that if I talked to him about these feelings, he would invalidate, ignore, and eventually bring them up later as ammunition (a favorite of his was “did you forget, we’re not a couple”, which was so hurtful and confusing af lmao)

Up until that point, I had maintained he was just "emotionally unavailable" or "commitmentphobic" and if he saw I wasn't going to nag him or push him into marriage, etc - he would realize it wasn't so scary and we could finally build a life together! It felt like we were moving in that direction, finally. But then every so often, I would have moments where the reality became a little too clear and there was little I could do to stop myself from breaking down.

And it was at my wit's end during these nights that I googled things like "why is he so emotionally distant" and stumbled upon a trove of gold Quora questions/answers - and once I discovered Quora, I went HAM.

Questions like...

"why does he try to make me jealous"

"why does he get mad when he sees me with other guys"

"why won't he commit"

"why won't he let me meet his friends"

"why does he not let me go" / "why does he keep holding on to me"

"why does he say he cares but not visit"

... And throughout all of this searching, one of the answers inevitably mentioned emotional abuse (and often narcissistic abuse) - and while I didn't initially think my situation was abusive, because it seemed like such a strong term, I was so desperate for answers and it came up so often that I said fcuk it, let's see what this is about.

So I googled "emotional abuse" and "narcissistic abuse" and read the stories of survivors, many of which echoed mine. I was shocked that these people had dated what seemed to be clones of my own ex. Many of them mentioned kids/divorce/etc and how they wish they had realized the signs sooner instead of wasting so many years with an emotional vampire, who would initially seem like your soulmate, ingratiate himself to you, praise you and put you on a pedestal, only to suck the life out of you through devaluing mechanisms and never listening to your needs, and discard you later (or stay until you stop giving them chances) - and then play the same game with the next victim, leaving a trail of broken people. They posted about the fake personalities, the emotional highs and lows, how he would leave and come back months/years later as if nothing had changed, etc - and things finally started making sense.

I had noticed many of these things - but without the awareness of narcissism - didn't know what to make of it. For example, when we were on our off-periods and he was out chasing Muslim girls, he (someone I had known as a frat fcukboy who would crush 20 beers in a night) became the sober, praying virtue-driven man. When he was out chasing someone else, he pretended to love Rupi Kaur poetry - even though we made fun of it together (no offense). I often felt like he seemed so ~different~ during these periods - and would call him out on it, but he would always deny it. But, looking back, I realize it wasn't just in my head as he wanted me to believe.

Luckily for me, he had grown to like one of these girls and we decided to take a break (later, I would realize he was trying to 'triangulate' me with her, but even back then I wouldn't succumb to his dumb games) -- which gave me much needed time to continue my Quora obsessiveness... and I went down the rabbit hole. Quora led me to narcissistic abuse recovery youtube channels and instagram accounts - which further opened my eyes to the lies I had been fed. It was heartbreaking but I began to realize his version of "love" (if you can even call his self-serving love that) was so different from mine - for him, it was latching onto someone who would validate him, give him the emotional supply he needed, and be there at his beck and call -- which I was happy to do if it was reciprocal, but of course it wasn't lol. It was completely one-sided and I let it happen because for me, the love I felt was genuine - not fabricated - and I thought that's what you do when you're in love (and it's what I saw growing up in my parent's relationship). I didn't want to believe it but the answer was clear as day - I had been conned into a fake relationship by someone who didn't have the capacity to love someone, and could only use them.

At this point, I realized ~5 years of on-and-off narcissistic abuse (and more than 2 decades of observing my parents' toxic marriage) would take a long time for me to heal from, but if I wanted to have any chance at a truly happy, healthy relationship (which I so earnestly did), I had to let him go. So I dived headfirst - watched at least 1-2 hours worth of videos every day, cried about the disrespect I had put up with, wrote pages and pages of text, etc - and became entrenched in this mode of self-improvement and inner child-finding. And I put them on my tumblr, so he would see them (I knew he was still checking up on me).

So when he inevitably came back because the girl he was chasing "was not who I thought she was" and wanted to be with me because I was so "perfect, knew him better than he knew himself, and so smart", I had the emotional wherewithal to tell him I didn't want this anymore -- and the little bits of changes he would make to attempt to gratify me - I could see through them and they were no longer enough. I think it was a last ditch attempt on his side - my tumblr posts made it obvious I was leveling up and wanted nothing more to do with him.

He was upset and told me he was talking to this girl on a dating app - but she was boring and a downgrade from me - and I just said, "cool". He then told me if I didn't want to try again, he would have no choice but to date her and see where it goes. And at that point, I just wanted him to leave me alone, as I knew anything with him would be a dead end. And I was TIRED. So to his surprise, I said go for it - and blocked him from everything and everywhere. I felt an immediate sense of relief, as I knew the nightmare was finally over and he was someone else's problem now. Of course, just like anyone else, I have my ups and downs too - but I'm definitely much better off.

Now? I haven't heard from him in over 2 years. I don't think I will - I told our mutual friends all about his deceit, post about it on my twitter, and make sure everyone knows how phony he is - and I think he realizes the ruse is over. I have found him out, and he knows he should stay away unless he wants me to expose him even more. I can hit him where it hurts and he is terrified - exactly where I like boys to be ;)

Anyways, last I heard, he's engaged to that girl he said was a downgrade (which isn't that surprising - since I gave him a narcissistic injury by leaving he knew he had to lock down the next one or she would leave too) - which is quite sad. I pray she sees the light before he takes too much away from her.

Hope it clears up things -- as always, feel free to PM me. More than happy to help anyone, especially if it means saving one of you from a toxic monster <3

***This is one of the subtle points that makes narcissists so difficult to identify: usually, when someone changes for you, it's because they like you and don't want to hurt you - compromise! that's what you do when you're in love, right? However, for a narcissist, it's not "love" - it's him realizing that if he wants to keep you trapped in his web of deceit, he needs to change - and this is true for both the beginning of the relationships and the whole duration. They don't have any integrity so they will change into whoever you want them to be, if it means you'll be attracted to them -- they are so good at reading you, figuring you out, and identifying your deepest desires/wants that they can transform into your idea of a perfect partner -- and they DO, but it's only a set up to manipulate you later. It's addicting to meet who you easily consider your "soulmate"... but in the end, you realize it was too good to be true.

[babbushka]

Hi Zannah!! I just wanted to tell you how much I love your writing! You're amazing, keep up the good work! Although I have a huge question for you (don't be scared haha)! I'm a muslim girl and I'm very interested in the Jewish religion. Can you tell me more about your life as a Jewish woman? How is it? You're probably going to tell me to Google it but I want to hear it from someone who practice it! Take your time to answer! I love you sister

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing!

I’m afraid that I’m going to disappoint you with this answer, because first and foremost I feel I need to make the distinction that I don’t very heavily or actively practice the Jewish religion in the traditional sense. I don’t go to temple or keep the Sabbath, I didn’t have a bat mitzvah, I didn’t go to Hebrew school, and I don’t keep kosher. 

I’m what’s called an Ethnic Jew, that is someone who has a Jewish lineage, as opposed to someone who actively practices the religion of Judaism. These things are not mutually exclusive! I know it’s an unusual concept, but a person can have full Jewish lineage and not practice the religion at all, in the same way that someone can become Jewish by conversion and have not a single drop of Jewish blood in their bodies. 

I am the former, someone who has heavy Jewish lineage (my maternal line is Jewish as back as we have record), but because my mother wanted to assimilate me and my brother, we were not raised actively practicing Judaism. My grandmother was understandably not pleased with this at all, and so she took me to temple as a young child and we celebrated all the holidays together, but as an adult, I have a lot of differing opinions on G-d and if one really exists and all that, so I don’t follow the religious teachings anymore. 

However, I am ethnically Jewish, so I grew up around other Jewish people and the Jewish culture. The food, the language, the music, the holidays, the traditions, are all a very large part of my life. I just don’t go to temple and my Hebrew is very poor lol (I speak more Yiddish than Hebrew but even my Yiddish isn’t that fluent since my immediate family doesn’t speak it). I may not follow the religious teachings, but I follow the ethical and moral ones, and I celebrate my family’s heritage and my culture. 

So to answer your question of what’s my life like as a Jewish woman, I’m afraid that there’s not much about me being Jewish that specifically impacts my daily life in any particular way, aside from the constant harassment I get when I go to certain areas. I wear a Magen David around my neck which visibly marks me as Jewish and that is something I am very proud of -- but it does unfortunately draw negative attention from people who do not like Jewish people. But I feel that, unfortunately, all marginalized people are subject to that possibility of harassment, that’s not something specific to being Jewish. 

But other than that, there are just the normal pressures to do well that I feel every family puts on their children. Do well in school, do well in life, become a big shot as a doctor or a lawyer, and then disappoint everyone when you decide to become an artist lmao. Go to weddings, sit shiva for funerals. Make good choices and get married yourself and have lots of kids and raise them Jewish lol. 

I love my life as a Jewish woman so so much. I love listening to my families stories, I love listening to our personal history. I love telling Jewish jokes because the humor is very specific to us and I genuinely find all of it so funny. I complain all the time, and loudly, because dammit I’ve earned the right to lol. I love lox bagels and matzo ball soup and Hanukkah is my favorite holiday. I sing Yiddish songs while I clean the house and I eat apples and honey for the Jewish new year -- but I am not by any means Orthodox.

I follow the ethical teachings, things like kindness above all else, compassion for others, peace for the sake of peace and also for self-preservation, but also fighting for what you know to be right. One of our most well known Rabbis, a man named Hillel has many teachings which I live my life by, things like, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to another. That is the whole Law. The rest is commentary.” and “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?” 

Another very well known Rabbi, a man named Simeon ben Gamliel has a quote I like very much that sums up my Jewish approach, “The world rests on three things: justice, truth, and peace.”

I hope I’ve answered your question somehow, some way. I hope that I haven’t disappointed you by revealing that I’m technically not a very good, practicing Jewish person, lol, but I think one of the beautiful things about the day and age we live in is that we can take our heritage and celebrate the parts we agree with, evolve or ignore the parts we don’t, all while maintaining those core tenants which make our culture so strong. I don’t think that’s specific to Judiasm and Jewishness, but it certainly is something that’s very prevalent in the Jewish community (at least in my experience, again I can’t speak for anyone else!)  

I am sending you all my love my dear friend, I hope you’re doing well and having a lovely day or evening, wherever you are

#Anonymous #cowboy answers

[dayshasource]

Shaping the World and Young Women.

Born atheist, but converted to Islam, G. Willow Wilson the author of Ms. Marvel spoke to students, and faculty about her comic book last Wednesday at Moraine Valley community college in which she spoke about her conversion, and why she chose to write about a Pakistani Muslim girl named Kamala Khan that has polymorphism. 

             Wilson is an atheist born but converted to Islam who was asked by Marvel writers to create a comic about a Muslim girl with polymorphism. Polymorphism is the power to transform and reshape the form of one's body. Being that Khan is Pakistani, shown as a hero is different because she is the only Muslim superhero in the marvel cinematic universe, so she is a different kind of superhero who shows different groups of people that they can to be heroes. 

                On Apr 10. at noon inside the theater of the F building, which moraine doesn’t host their book events there often, “At the fine and performing arts center, we seldom offer these types of book or author events. Those are most often curated by the library. This specific event, however, was a collaboration with the library and because Wilson is so well-known, we felt that the theater was a better venue to accommodate larger audiences,” says Tommy Hensel who is the managing director of the one and performing arts center.

 I asked him what are these events called and why they host them, “every year, the library picks one text and creates a year-long series of events called ‘One Book/One college.’ For this academic year, they picked the “ms. marvel” graphic novels by Willson. That choice was part of a collaboration with the fine and performing arts center and a program we have been running called ‘Mosaics: Muslim Voices in America.’ That program was funded by a grant from the Association of Performing Arts Professionals for the Building Bridges: Arts, Culture and Identity program. Moraine Valley, along with one consortium and three other individual organizations, received funding to build knowledge, and appreciation for arts and culture with roots in Muslim-majority societies. This grant program is supported by the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, and the Doris Duke Foundation for Islamic Art, and helps support mission-critical projects that demonstrate the power of the arts to strengthen communities and increase intercultural understanding across America. Moraine Valley’s specific project is titled Mosaics: Muslim Voices in America and our focus is to highlight the artistic and cultural diversity of Muslim artists living and working in the United States.”  Hensel says which is amazing because there were so many young Muslim students at the event that day, mostly women, who are most likely inspired by her writing and the storyline. 

One woman was a fan of the marvel comics, which was obvious because she wore her captain marvel shirt which is a new movie that just been released in March which finally got one billion in the box office. She is the first woman in the Marvel cinematic universe to have her own movie and to reach one billion ticket sales.

The event was located in the Dorothy Menker Theater. I and my friend Ana decided to sit in the front. Behind us was a class from Argo High School. There were at least 20 students apart from that class and about 40 people overall in the theater. To my right was an interpreter signing for a few deaf students, and to my left was a group of professors and equational the cameraman would jump on stage and snap photos. After waiting for ten minutes Wilson took the stage. I couldn’t fully tell what she had on, because she was behind the podium but I caught the sight of her hijab which was white and Hensel announced his thanks to everyone for being there and did an intro before he walked off stage to give Wilson the room. The screen above us had the book cover which I’ve noticed. Wilson’s family were atheists so she wasn’t raised in a religious household. She thought about converting to Islam because as a teen she was so invested in religion and reading a lot about it and when she was in college she was exposed to it as well, but since 9/11, it set her back from doing so. “Is this is? Are they right and I’m wrong?” She says. After graduating she moved to Egypt to teach English and she finally converted. Since then the audience seemed very interested in what she had to say. A group of young Muslim girls that go to moraine came to get a closer to listen. Everyone was now focused on her as she spoke lively about her new life.  “It was very much a matter of kind of living a double life for a time and not reviewing bits of me to the people I love the most and I’m feeling really guilty about it and guilty about feeling like some kind of betrayal by taking this radical departure from the life that is expected of me and I wrestled with it for a long time but coming to a place where I can talk about it with the people I love is something that helped,” Wilson says as I looked around, and see people’s elbows were on their legs, they were pushed forward trying to listen closely to the story on how she went from atheist to Muslim. A few years after Marvel came to her to start the idea to write a comic about a Muslim superhero.

At the time she didn’t know what the Khan background is going to be what costume she was going to wear and what her powers she is going to have. 

“Your story is about belonging,” Sanaa Omna says her to help her get a sense of how Khan's storyline will go. “I was interested in making her power something more kinetic, something more visually interesting something that wasn’t necessarily pretty and sparkly but with more visceral that was kind of weird.” So that’s when she settled on polymorphism. She can become really big, really small and she can bend the laws of physics. 

She brings up how she relates to Khan and the other characters in her own way since she never grew up with being Muslim and also that she’s white and not brown. 

“I think all of us in our teenage years are trying to figure out who we are in relation to the people around us. Trying to cycle all your life and keep a major development away from your parents and people you grew up with and I think that almost feels like more and the way handled her superpowers from anything else not that I view as converting religion as getting superpowers if so that would be awesome. But that feeling was very well known to me I have the secret I don’t have to tell I don't know if it’s a bad thing, something I should share this with people, I don’t know how to feel about it. So that way she deals with her superpowers and who do she tells and who she not tell is me trying to be right in vitally context by Omni stories and by the things she felt were important to include and that was the matter of making myself quiet and not bring myself into the stories except as a sidekick you know there is a lot of me in Bruno, there is a lot of me in Zoey I felt like it was important to have those characters there.”

At the time when Marvel asked her write the comic Wilson got very shocked and it came out of nowhere. “I got a call from Omna who at that point was an editor from X men, authors, at marvel comics and I met with her briefly we had lunch with a mutual friend and kinda empathized with each other because at that point we were the only two Muslim women working The entire mainstream American superhero industry just us and we haven’t spoken since then so I was not expecting that call much less was I expecting her to say so we had this idea we want to create a new American Muslim superhero on her own ongoing book and we would like you to help develop his character,” Wilson says as one of the professors pulled out her phone and started recording, “that’s utter madness, I had at that point my relatively short career in comics accrued already a certain number of threats from some serious, some not for writing that hadn't nothing to with religion with politics with anything that can be considered remotely controversial and write two entirely unremarkable fill-in issues on superman and get threats,” she finishes. Wilson went on to speak about her challenges writing the story. 

“We almost romanticize the idea that if you are under a threat you must have said something really important and out there and it kinda makes you a more important figure than you were otherwise when in actual fact I said nothing very remarkable and it did not feel excited or dangerous in a fun way or all American to have to deal with this threat and it felt like I had done something wrong because I was the one who has a police escort which is not the most fun and I was the one who couldn't use the bathroom like a normal person or go into the building the normal way,” she spoke confidently.

         It was very interesting seeing her writing a character who is Muslim/Pakistani when she’s not. Someone can only know so much about someone’s culture. She decided to step away from ms. marvel this year to give young Muslim authors a chance to give Khan more of a story since she isn’t born into the culture or religion because being born into that and growing up with it is a whole different experience. She thought so as well. It’s amazing of her to do that since she has been with Khan for so long but her thinking about young Muslim readers and wanting more for those readers is a thoughtful thing to do.

              “We never thought this landscape would have changed so much artistically politically with this character to be embraced by so many people and that there will be this amazing dynamic and crap of young Muslim writers who will rise together and love this character and take her on as their own.”

#Journalsim Writing MsMarvel Marvel Profile Event

[valsedelesruines]

15 Questions, Some Mutuals

I was tagged by @danklloydwright my amazing friend who is out there pursuing art and language and good times in Austria. I miss u my dude!

Are you named after anyone?

Nope, my mom just thought Danielle was a cool, french name. I don’t like it cause it’s boring. If I were to name myself I would choose the name José Destiny.

When was the last time you cried?

Like two nights ago. I was sad that my friends and family are sad. But I think it’s good to cry and let it out. 

Do you have kids?

Lmao no. One day when I have a kid I will name them Banana though. 

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I honestly am too stupid to use sarcasm. I actually never get it when people are being sarcastic. And I live in a country where everyone uses sarcasm all the time. 

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes or their smile. 

What’s your eye color?

Green.

Scary movie or happy ending?

Happy endings, because I love rom coms. 

Any special talents?

I can whistle without my lips. I can also talk to people about archaeology for hours until way past the point in which they are interested in the conversation.  

Where were you born?

New York state. 

What are your hobbies?

Travelling, meeting new people, collecting thimbles, painting, singing, dancing (especially on like world heritage sites), field work, telling people not to worry about it, worrying about it, being in love with people and the world (lol is that a hobby), stargazing and pointing out the only two constellations i know, dumpster diving, couchsurfing, talking philosophy, reading philosophy, listening to deerhoof, listening to DVA, listening to songs where people talk too much about sex or love, petting chickens, belly dancing, cooking fluffy potatoes, dying my hair pink, writing postcards, ooh sex is a good hobby, going to museums, collecting things from rivers, eating frozen peas or microwaved bananas, watching come dine with me, hiking in nature or in cities, responding to emails, swimming in the ocean, catching frogs, writing in my journal, listening to people talk about their lives, drinking good beer with good people, and saying that i’ll do that in my next life. 

Do you have any pets?

Most of my childhood pets are long gone. At my boyfriend’s house there is a hamster who is probably high all the time. At my parent’s house they have four cats and six chickens.

What sports do you play/have you played?

Volleyball lol. I played on the varsity team for my high school for two years. Terribly. No one told me I was too short to play which I clearly was. 

If you count bellydancing as a sport then I have done that for the past four years and even taught classes to Muslim women. 

How tall are you?

5′

Favorite subject in school?

I only study Archaeology for my MPhil, but I guess my favourite class is Medieval Europe. Even though I am a South Asian major. 

Dream job?

Hmm. Don’t have one. Maybe as an archaeologist because that would be fun and stimulating and my ‘career path’. Haha I hate that term. I just want to do something that I enjoy doing everyday so if I don’t like it one day I can just do something else. 

Maybe I will work on the mushroom farm in Vietnam that my family owns. 

Thanks again for tagging me, @danklloydwright I don’t know 15 mutuals really, so I will just tag a few peeps if u want to do it lol. 

@worshipzorp @thedukeoforange @ellipsissyzygy @sharkfightstoast @silvensei @throwmeaboneherepeople @downsolongg @badswolf

#me

[dawud-abdulhameed-mcintosh]

Heartfelt advice from a weak believer

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

I struggled with writing this particular advice but I believe that if it benefits some then it is worth any ill-thought I maybe opening myself up to from other Muslims. I truly am not concerned about what people think of me as whatever evil they may have to say about me is nothing compared to my fear of whatever my lord thinks of me.

Over the last few months since I have been working I have been making it a point to focus on getting myself together. However during that process I fell off. I became lazy. Instead of increasing in worship I increased in laziness. Increased in wasting time by constantly saying “I have to work so I have no time”. Before I began working again, odd as some may find it, I as spiritually in a better place. My aspirations were higher and my progress in achieving my goals was going smoothly, but when I started to work I started to associate with the wrong people. How true is the statement of Allah’s messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم:

"A person is upon the deen of his friend, so let each one of you look at whom he befriends." Saheeh. Refer to Silsilah as-Saheehah of al-Albaani (no.927)[please refer to this thread from the old salafitalk forums for more beneficial narrations on this subject]

And it was in this environment that I began to let my defenses down. Where instead of fostering an environment of dawah, making apparent the distinctive characteristics of Islaam, I became like everyone else. Like my coworkers who are not Muslim. Making concessions on free-mixing and being in places that I should not have been. It was in these places that specific incidents take place that it was only due to the mercy of Allah, that I did not fall into zinaa’ but it would not have taken much for it to occur. I lament my own weakness and look to Prophet Yusuf عليه سلام who was tried with worse. Whom when confronted by women of beauty and esteem he said:

قَالَ رَبِّ السِّجْنُ أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا يَدْعُونَنِي إِلَيْهِ ۖ وَإِلَّا تَصْرِفْ عَنِّي كَيْدَهُنَّ أَصْبُ إِلَيْهِنَّ وَأَكُن مِّنَ الْجَاهِلِينَ

He said, "My Lord, prison is more beloved to me than that which they invite me to. And if You do not avert from me their plan, I might incline toward them and [thus] be of the ignorant." [Yusuf:33]

Many Muslims look at this and say, “Look at the taqwa of Yusuf! Look at how he stayed away from their plans!”. No one stops, and ponders the statement of his noble messenger. No one recognizes his statement and please to Allah:

“ And if You do not avert from me their plan, I might incline toward them “

And what is this except an acknowledgement of weakness? A plea to the most high that indeed we are human and if he does not guide us we will incline towards our desires. It comes in the well known hadeeth Qudsi of Abee Dharr al Ghifaaree that Allah has said:

يَا عِبَادِي! كُلُّكُمْ ضَالٌّ إلَّا مَنْ هَدَيْته، فَاسْتَهْدُونِي أَهْدِكُمْ

“O My servants, all of you are astray except those whom I have guided, so seek guidance from Me and I shall guide you..”[Muslim no.2577]

This is the way of the righteous. Never did they attribute strength to themselves but when confronted with trials they looked within and analyzed whatever fault they may deem themselves to have. They only attributed power to Allah and saw themselves as deficient though they were from the best of creation! Look at the famous ad’iyyah(supplications) we have been encouraged to invoke Allah with by his messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم:

اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْن، ٍ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لا إِلَهََ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ

‘O Allah, it is Your mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs.None has the right to be worshipped except You.’ [from the hadeeth of Nafee’ ibnul Haarith, Saheeh according to al Albaani. Irwaa’ al Ghaleel 3/356]

  لا إِلَهََ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظّالِمِيْنَ

"There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers."[Anbiyaa:87]

The messenger said concerning this du’a:  A Muslim never calls upon his Lord with these words concerning any matter, but his prayer is answered.”[Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3505; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1644]

Submission and worship of Allah requires humbling one’s self and seeing one’s self as deficient and recognizing that whatever good one is able to achieve is through the blessings of Allah upon him. The prophets and messengers understood this and those who followed them in truth also understood this. Yet we find ourselves feeling safe from falling into sins. We belittle those who fear falling into sin as being “extreme” and “making a big deal about nothing”.

I vividly remember not too long ago some tumblr Shaykh, widely known on this platform, belittling those who feared mixing with the opposite sex. Saying things like “Just because you sit next to a woman in class doesn’t mean you’re gonna jump on her and rape her!”. How disingenuous and disrespectful can a so-called “Imam” be? Does anyone on the face of the earth argue that a man seeing a woman will instantly lead to them fornicating? Who argues such things? Rather it is the small things that lead to big things. It starts with small talk. A smile. A Joke here or there. Going to a “mutual” place a number of times. Swapping information for “school” or “work” purposes until you are comfortable. Until your guard is down. The Prophets, righteous scholars, and true awliyya of Allah feared even seeing a woman that was not halaal for them, but suddenly we feel safe from our own weakness.

Look at how weak you are right now. How many pages of Quran did you read today? Did you even pray every prayer today? By Allah you are weak in so many parts of your deen but suddenly you feel you are strong enough to free-mix? To sit with ahlul bidd’ah? To take knowledge from anywhere it comes? Who are you?

My advice as a Muslim struggling against himself on a daily basis, I advise you to acknowledge your weakness. Acknowledge that your soul leans towards negligence but take that and make du’a to Allah. Do not just stop at saying “I am weak” because that will soon become an excuse that you will use to fall into sin. You still have to put in the work to fight those instincts and that is only done by calling upon Allah frequently. Go to your local masjid and just sit there. Reflect. Carry a Mushaf with you where-ever you go and if you are not able use the apps on your phone to read and/or listen to the Quran. 

Make good Muslim friends and upon the sunnah. Stay in touch with them using whatever means you are able. If you pull away from them you will only replace them with evil friends and they will call you to disobedience rather than obedience. From good companionship is marriage. There are those who take a very irritatingly negative view of marriage but I believe now more than ever that if I had made more of an effort to get married what I fell into of mistakes would have had less a chance of happening because my time would be focused on my wife who, in shaa Allah, would push me to spend my time more wisely.

Ultimately I urge the Muslim who is struggling to know that you are not alone. Do not let hasty and ignorant people make you feel as if something is wrong with you. You are human, and though this is not an excuse for disobedience, this is a part of life. You must struggle. You must struggle against your own soul but Allah created you for this struggle and no matter how many times you fall you have been given the means to overcome it. You can become better but you must go back to Allah.

 فَفِرُّوا إِلَى اللَّهِ ۖ

“So flee to Allah..”[Dhaariyyaat:50]

[vodkys]

Why didn’t you call the cops on the kid in your post?

This ask is referring to this post.

My high school was made up almost entirely of minorities and POC and if anything, the “fear” of a “school shooter” was basically a joke. It was a small school, and the few white people that attended were usually the subject of school shooter jokes, but they were all popular and had a broad enough sense of humor to laugh it off, so none of them ever posed a threat. So when a POC such as the popular kid makes the joke in which THEY will be the next school shooter, it’s no surprise that no one took it seriously because everyone had a very specific idea of what kind of person was capable of even having the intent to kill.

One reason he wasn’t a threat is because he isn’t white. He wasn’t religiously or politically inclined. Another reason was because he’s extremely popular and extroverted and has no “reason” to be upset at anyone enough to want to kill them. The third reason was because he didn’t have any or display symptoms of any sort of mental illness, and everyone felt safe knowing that he was “rational” and “predictable.”

So why would I be a threat? It would be taboo for me to make the joke at my high school because I’m Muslim and rather vocal of how much I support my religion. I’d say I’m a moderate but I often found myself having to defend the Conservative opinions I agree with, which no one was a fan of. I’m introverted for the most part, and I lost my popularity by the end high school because although I have yet to be diagnosed with any sort of mental illness, I displayed symptoms of several and people quickly started turning on me once they’d decided I’m “unstable.”

While people couldn’t quite put their finger on what it was about me that threw them off, by the time I was a senior, it was mutually understood by a vast majority of the school that I was socially unacceptable and therefore, for me to do something “socially acceptable,” such as joking along with everyone else about school shooters, would be pointless because there was no chance at redemption for myself. There was nothing I could say or do to make myself acceptable again, and that’s why if the situation applied to me, my joking would only be concerning because people would begin to feel a sense of guilt for being mean to me. People hate feeling guilty, and avoid it by playing the victim card, so if the situation were in reverse, I’d most definitely have the cops called on me.

“So why didn’t you call the cops on the kid who made the joke?”

Because it’s no use. Likable people get protected. He’s not gonna get in trouble because nobody wants him to get in trouble. Nobody felt the need to play victim, and since there were no victims, it only benefits in proving him innocent of any wrongdoing. I did tell a teacher, and while he wouldn’t have been the first person to get snitched on, he was probably the first, as far as I can recall, that school authorities didn’t even bother making a case of or talking to him about because they “knew” it was a stupid joke.

Not only does my story imply that people can identify “potential threats,” but it also implies that isolating someone who could be a potential threat is basically protocol, which makes absolutely no sense, because if a potential threat is someone who has a “reason” to want to hurt someone, why is it socially acceptable to give those people a reason to be upset? Why bully or isolate them if doing so give them a reason to want to kill?

I don’t condone violence in any sense at all, but having been typecasted as a “potential threat,” if you wanna hear my side of the gun debate, it’s most definitely that people kill people. Guns make it quicker to do so, but at the end of the day, people kill people both physically and metaphorically. Toxic, superficial high school popularity contests are damaging, especially to those that are told they don’t have a chance in competing. It kills a self esteem, and might just lead to the killing of physical bodies.

Think about it for a sec.

#Long post soz #ask #tcc #columbine #gun #guns #gun debate #parkland

[yoga4ullc]

Let Me Be Perfectly Clear

It is one day before the presidential elections and things are a bit crazy.

For one, myself and just about everyone I know is fed up with the constant barrage of political ads, both on television and radio. Yes, I know that this happens every election, but for some reason this year seems so much worse. Perhaps it’s because we, as a society, have been mentally pushed to the edge with Covid and social distancing. We’ve been asked to stay at home, forgo vacations, family outings, public socializing, many of our normal exercise routines, even asked to work from home.

Now that we are home, we are prey to the bombardment of politics, almost like political prisoners in our own homes. We cannot turn on our tv’s without ad after ad about the dangers of the opposing party. Turn on the radio and you get to hear how life will be grand if only you choose someone else to make the decisions. Social media will never win awards for being fair and just, but now it’s open season on hatred and vitriol.

But what’s worse is that I am now witnessing ‘friends’ whom I felt were reasonable, rational people, spreading rumors, untruths, hatred and judgement. People are telling others that theirs is the only way, the true way, and any other way or opinion marks you as someone who hates (fill in the blank here), blacks, whites, gays, Christians, Muslims, women, men, young, old, rich, poor, etc ad nauseaum.

As I was scrolling Facebook (I know, I know, my own fault) I saw a posting of a picture of radical Islamics in a vehicle caravan with their flags flying high. Underneath this picture, was a picture of a Trump caravan flying the American flags and Trump flags, the posting was comparing how these two factions were similar.

What makes this so tragically funny, was a few postings down I saw some pictures of a Biden caravan cruising the streets of downtown Phoenix with their American flags and Biden flags proudly waving in the wind. Can someone please rationally explain to me how the caravan pictures of Trump and Biden are even remotely different? Yes, I’m sure as you read this you’re getting all ‘hot under the collar’, wanting to list the differences between candidates, but that is not what I’m addressing here. I am addressing the use of a photograph of radical Islamics, and comparing it to a photo of a Trump caravan, when you could just as easily substitute a pic of a Biden caravan and it would look exactly the same, just change out the political flags.

I have seen post after post from both political sides making outlandish quotes completely taken out of context.

Someone recently posted this article~

No, I won’t agree to disagree about this president, you’re just wrong.  By, John Pavlovitz

In this article, the author states

“We’re just going to have to agree to disagree. I disagree, I refuse these terms.

Such a concession assumes that we both have equally valid opinions, that we’re each mutually declaring those opinions not so divergent that they cannot be abided; that our relationship is of greater value than the differences, but that isn’t exactly true for me. We don’t just disagree here, you’re wrong.”

I am NOT a Trump supporter, but I do believe every person has a right to their American political choices. We also should have an equal voice in the running of our country. I do not agree with the author of this article, but I whole heartedly support his freedom to post, write, or say what he chooses, same with anyone.

I will not hold it against you if you vote for Trump or Biden! I respect your right to choose without fear of repercussions, shaming, or judgement.

But to have anyone tell me that our relationship is predicated on whether we agree politically, or based on whom I chose to vote for, just shows me that we didn’t have a relationship to begin with.

If my good heart, generous spirit, commitment to treating others with mutual respect is not good enough for you. If you need to see a copy of my ballot to determine whether I meet your ‘friendship’ requirements, then you are correct, we are not meant to be friends.

I refuse to make you an enemy, but I want to surround myself with those that treat me with the respect that I give them. You don’t have to think like I do, act like I do, dress the same, have the same religious views, or even practice yoga, but when you start to dictate the terms of our friendship, to pass judgement on me for a differing viewpoint, then our time together has drawn to an end.

American presidents come and go, our economy ebbs and flows, laws are made and rescinded, this is part of living in an impermanent world, but true friends rise above this.

So, in closing if you feel you can no longer tolerate me in your world because our views may differ, than I say “so long, have a good life”.

Namaste

#politicalviews agreetodisagree mutualrespect yourvote yogavoice

[tavarillasgalen]

2017

The year of recovery.

Another year of doing things I’d always wanted to, right from the very start. My first New Year’s party. I rung in 2017 with my first New Year’s kiss. I went to see the ice castles. I officially dropped out of my sorority. I got out of a toxic living situation and moved into my own studio apartment and got my first taste of truly living alone. I quite like it. I got to really experiment in the kitchen for the first time and came up with some dishes I love. I got to decorate, a bit, grocery shop, all of that. It was a dimly lit apartment, but it was a space all mine. 

I went to the Vagina Monologues at Westmini and performed in the one at the U. I conquered my fear of my roommate and didn’t let her presence keep me from performing. And I was good. I was really good.

My boyfriend and I celebrated 1 year of being together and Valentine’s by going out to a fancy restaurant. The bf and I went to the ballet and got insanely good seats. $100 seats for the student price of $15? yes please. We went on a little picnic and then to Benihana for his 21st. We went to the Holi festival. We celebrated his first publication. We went to a Cold War Kids concert. We went to an art show he had pieces in. We went to another art show a mutual friend have pieces in.We went to the Tulip Festival. We went to an underground hotspring at the Homestead Crater with some Westminster friends and all got dinner at Red Rock after. We went out a few times with his friends. We went to my first Pride. We went to a baseball game and mercilessly made fun of the teams the whole time. I celebrated Eid with his family and their Bosnian Muslim community. We went to the Red Butte Gardens. We went paddleboarding/kayaking for the first time. We went to the State Fair and got the ice cream that makes you look like a dragon. We went to see bell hooks talk at UVU and then later to a MUSE concert. We went axe-throwing (he kicked my ass). We went to Antelope Island and got caught in the middle of a giant herd of bison. We went to a Halloween party hosted by the couple who’s wedding we went to last year. So many cute little dates all throughout the year - to the aquarium, to park city, to the mountains, to stargaze, etc. So many movie nights and cuddles and making food together (our lava cakes tho... so bomb). Hanging out while he did research over the summer. When I lived on my own, I texted him whenever I didn’t feel safe, and he’d come right over and just be with me. Seeing Christmas lights. Ice-skating. Him spending more time with my family, building a gingerbread town. 

I went blonde for a few months. The girl who did it first messed up and my roots were white and there was a band of darker blonde, but the salon fixed it for free. I’d always wanted to go blonde, so that was cool.

I started auditioning again, and I got a part in a commercial for a concert for the deaf and hard of hearing! A few months later, I got my first paid role in a workout series. I met with an agency, and whereas the agent told everyone else there for acting to “email me a reel, and I’ll get back to you”, she took one look at my resume and was like “this is impressive, I’ll email you about callbacks.” I went to callbacks, and they said they’d sign me if I cleared my skin, went back to my natural hair color, and brushed up a bit with some acting classes. 

I went down the southern Utah six times this year. Once with my dad and michael. Once with the whole family. Once with my dad and johnny. Once with my mom and my younger brothers. Once with my bf. Once with everyone except for mom and david. Mostly, we stuck around Snow Canyon and the outskirts of Zion. But with my dad and Johnny, we also hit up Bryce Canyon and Capitol Reef. With my bf, we had a romantic bath, and spontaneously went to the Grand Canyon. 

I turned 21, and I have a whole other post about that experience lol. But it’s nice to be able to go to bars and order cocktails when I go out to eat. Amaretto is def my fav. 

I went to the lantern festival and it was as magical as that scene in Tangled made it look.

I went to Pennsylvania with my mom to visit family. We stayed in the house she grew up in, visited with family, got ice cream from my cousin’s work. Had cocktails and talked on the porch. Went out with my cousins and their friends. Went on a coal mine tour. Lots of home-cooked meals and just casually hanging out. Walking around Scranton, my mom reminiscing on her childhood. It was really lovely. 

I did a video shoot with Bella - basically a “day in the life at the stable”. She did so great with the cameras, I was impressed!

I got my tubes tied, and my boyfriend was such a support through it all. Driving me to surgery, taking care of me after, taking me to get acai bowls and play games, helping me around. Being there for me too when my parents found out and were furious. 

I’ve gotten close with Bella again. Moving back in with my parents definitely helped, because then I could see her everyday. It’s still a process, but it’s so much better than it was. Hanging out with her in the pasture. Riding for fun. Just sitting with her in her stall. I feel like I’m still somewhat scared of her after the kicking incident, but I’m slowly getting over that. I love her. I truly do. I am so grateful to have her in my life. She has been so sweet and saucy. And I feel like a good rider most of the time. I’m very grateful for things slowly going back to how they were in this regard; getting my relationship with my horse back.

Classes spring semester were again, a struggle. I just barely passed some and failed others. Mental health things, you know. Hard to pass a class when you can hardly ever go to class. Summer semester, I started off strong, but ended up dropping all my classes and taking the summer off, per my dad’s suggestion. Fall semester, I did all online, and I was able to keep up, for the most part. I passed all my classes and finally got taken off probation and put back into good-standing. For the first time since being at the U, my semester gpa was above a 2.0.

I attempted therapy multiple times, found one I liked, but the commute was 4 hours rt, so I quit fast. I recently found another, and so far, it’s alright. It’s progress, you know? Progress is important. 

I did a summer internship with the Start By Believing campaign in Salt Lake. Such an incredible experience; I felt like I was actually making a difference, and so amazing to be working alongside like-minded and determined people. 

I lost ten pounds, and have reached a point with my body where I don’t feel absolutely terrible if I overeat. I’m only 15 lbs away from my goal weight, something I can easily achieve through working out regularly and eating healthfully. Here’s to that in 2018.

I learned soooooo much about makeup, skin care, and hair care. I started investing in high end makeup. I started actually cleansing my face and exfoliating and moisturizing and all of that. I started using hair oils and the like. I can’t believe I didn’t do all of this before, especially with my dry skin and hair, but now, skin care is one of my favorite things. Sephora’s quickly become my favorite store. My hair is actually soft and silky all the time.

I went on accutane, and it’s finally starting to clear my skin! The only side effect I’ve experienced has been the extreme dryness everyone does. 

After moving back in with my family in July, my relationships with all of them have increasingly gotten better. It’s good. So good. I really regret having grown so distant over the course of college, but I’m doing my best to mend things. Thanksgiving was good; Christmas was even better. I feel like I got everyone great gifts. And I’m grateful things are better. 

I started regaining interest in things I used to love. Reading for fun. Drawing. Writing. I’ve stopped caring so much about what other people think of me. I’ve started caring more about my health. I feel like I’ve made real steps towards recovery and self-betterment this year. I’ve stopped being so tolerant of not being treated as well as I deserve. I’ve started forcing myself to do things, because I know I’ll regret it later if I don’t. I feel like I’ve made real progress as a person this year. Here’s to more of that in 2018. 

#personal

[skam-season4]

What SKAM means to me

hi all. it’s h. i’m very sappy and i love really long over dramatic essays, so here’s my thank you to everyone in the skam universe. i’m sorry i’m such an emotional mess.

skam season 1 is important to me personally. i don’t have annoying straight people problems and trust issues with my boyfriend. i don’t have a group of old mean friends who glare at me for existing. i didn’t kiss someone else when i was still in a relationship. but it doesn’t matter. because i’ve felt alone like eva. i’ve struggled with forming new friendships and reconciling old ones. i’ve done the ‘you did it, so i’ll do it’. i’ve felt the pain when someone you trust lets you down. i’ve struggled with determining what my own opinion is vs. what my opinion was formed to be because of how i was raised. when i first saw season 1, it hit close to home because i’ve been there. i saw it a year a half after i had found my true opinions and started to find myself. i saw myself in eva. eva’s story is important to me because it shows her journey from feeling alone to being surrounded by people that love her.

skam season 2 is important to me personally. i’m not a rape / sexual assault victim. i’m not a huge die - hard feminist type. i didn’t fall in love with a fuck boy. i didn’t date my friend’s crush behind her back. but it doesn’t matter. because i’ve felt guilty like noora. i’ve felt the frustration of having to deal with others. i’ve felt the annoyance of not knowing what others are thinking. i’ve felt the guilt of lying to a friend. i’ve felt the anguish of feeling like the entire world has stopped and feeling like i can never move on. i’ve felt the guilt of feeling like a burden to others. when i first saw season 2, it hit close to home because i’ve been there. i saw it two years after i had the worst year of my life, and had finally gotten back on track. two years after i had fallen in with the wrong people, had let people dictate my opinions, and got into drugs and alcohol, so much so that i couldn’t go an entire day without getting high. it wasn’t even a physical dependence. it was just me looking for an escape as i slipped further and further into my depression, and retreated into myself, a psychological dependence. i eventually reached out and got help, i stood up to my personal version of nico, and i got my shit together. i saw myself in noora. noora’s story is important to me because it showed me to always be conscious of the fact that everyone is different, has different opinions, but more importantly, has had different experiences. 

skam season 3 is important to me personally. i’m not gay. i don’t have a mentally ill mother. i don’t have a suave, james-dean-esque mentally ill love interest. i don’t have an estranged father. but it doesn’t matter. because i’ve felt hatred in many forms like isak. i’ve struggled with finding and accepting my sexuality. i’ve felt the annoyance of people trying to stereotype my personality because of my label. i’ve gone through all the stages of self hatred to self acceptance to self love. i’ve gone through the ‘i’ll break up with my girlfriend for you’ only to see them back together two days later. i’ve felt heartbreak. i’ve felt the inevitable best friend crush. i’ve learned to let go of some of my prejudices. when i first saw season 3, it was when it came out, like eight / nine months ago, at the same time i had my first relationship with another girl, was discovering my sexuality, was figuring out how to tell my mom and my friends, and was learning to let go of prejudice. my story of me and this other girl scarily matches up with isak and even’s story. we were friends, and then a line was crossed, and then we were more than friends. and then she got a girlfriend, and ‘broke up with her for me’. we went on a date and then she got another girlfriend a week later, a different girl this time. but not everything was the same. i hadn’t already figured out my sexuality like isak had. so the first time i kissed her, i flipped out like ‘holy shit there is another vagina in this situation’ and we didn’t speak for a month because i hated myself so much. we got back together after i had time to cool off and figure things out. then she broke it off again because she ‘wasn’t ready for a relationship’ and then two days later i found out from a mutual friend she was crushing on some other girl. so we just weren’t meant to be, and didn’t get our happy ending like evak. but it’s okay. i saw myself in isak. isak’s story is important to me because it gave me the final push to tell my friends, and it prompted me to try to not hold prejudices against certain things, like mental illness, or certain people for doing shitty things, like emma or sonja.

skam season 4 is important to me personally. i’m not a muslim. i’m not a christian or catholic or jew or atheist or buddhist or monk or pastafarian or anything, really. i’m not a person of color in a white country. i’m not super bada$$ on the outside. i’m not a confrontational person. but it doesn’t matter. because i’ve felt shame like sana. i’ve felt outcast for not fitting in. i’ve felt shame for hurting my friends. i’ve felt misunderstood. i’ve crossed a line and hurt people with good intentions to protect my friends and family. i’ve felt like no one pays attention to me. i’ve made assumptions of people based off of religion before. i’ve felt like my friends aren’t there for me. i’ve accidentally and intentionally fucked over my friends. i’ve felt like i had to prove something to someone, or to society in general. i’ve struggled with losing faith in my faith. i didn’t get my happy ending like sana did with her balancing religion, culture, and personality either. i lost faith in my religion, and i don’t think i’ll ever gain it back, but i just have to accept it and move on. but it’s okay. sana’s story is important to me because it showed me how strong friendship really is, it showed me that ultimatley, it’s up to me to reach out to others, it taught me that questioning things is important, but most importantly, that hate isn’t the opposite of love; fear is.

FEAR SPREADS. BUT LUCKILY, SO DOES LOVE.

takk, -h

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