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genericpuff · 1 day

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The Derivative Fashion Sense of Lore Olympus

So I'm usually out here going Gordon Ramsay on Rachel's ass about her writing and art, but for this unsolicited essay I will be wearing a different hat.

Yep, we're going Miranda Priestly today. Specifically the Miranda Priestly who talks fashion, not the Miranda Priestly who abuses employees lmao (though rest assured, I'm gonna have a lot of curt words throughout this).

Disclaimer: I am not at all an expert on fashion, these are just my thoughts and observations from studying fashion styles as part of my own artistic journey, so as always, take what I have to say with loads of salt. I also realize the irony that I am addressing the derivative nature of Lore Olympus when I, myself, am creating a derivative retelling of Lore Olympus.

Alright, enough small talk.

There's this general misconception in runway fashion that all those "impractical outfits" are meant to be worn by the average person, people such as myself who see these outfits and go "what the fuck do you mean Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat?!" When we see these crazy fits, our first impression is often "Why would anyone wear that?"

Well, because they aren't outfits. They're art pieces.

And not only are the outfits themselves art pieces, but the people wearing them are the canvases. These outfits aren't designed for just anyone to wear, especially not your average Joe, they're designed both with the artist's vision as well as the model in mind. A lot of thought, expression, cultural influences, and personal messaging is sewn into these designs.

Think about it this way, you couldn't take that aforementioned Gaga meat dress and put it on Taylor Swift. Not only would it not be physically tailored to her, but it wouldn't align with Swift's brand of music. Gaga, at the time of wearing that dress, was making a statement that came about from a collaborative effort between herself, the canvas, and her fashion designer, the artist. The meaning would be lost if you put Swift, Katy Perry, or any other musician into it, because the fact that Gaga is the one wearing it is part of that meaning.

What would happen if you did take the meat dress and put it on someone else? Well, that's how you get the controversial 2022 Met Gala when Kim Kardashian wore the sequin dress that Marilyn Monroe wore for JFK back in 1962.

Not a replica. Not a re-interpretation. The actual literal dress that Monroe once wore. This was a very bold - and in my opinion, reckless - move on Kim's part, because not only was she forcing herself into a dress not tailored to her (and yes, there has been deliberation on what damage was caused to the dress on account of this) but rather than working with a fashion designer to come up with a fresh new interpretation of the same concept, she just went "yeah I'm gonna wear the exact dress", in what many interpreted as a disrespectful power move to artificially put herself on the same level of prestige as Monroe. But she still isn't on that level of prestige and it speaks volumes that she thought carving out her own legacy would be as simple as just taking someone else's. The wolf wore the sheep's clothing with the intent to fool the sheep, but it was still a wolf.

But okay okay, WHAT does this have to do with Lore Olympus?

Well, Rachel released a new interview clip.

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I will say, these seem to have all been recorded at once probably when she was back at NYCC and they're probably going to be released daily leading up to the free release of the finale. Why they're hyping up the free version rather than hyping up the FastPass version that actually generates income, I have no clue, but I digress.

As always, the transcript is as follows:

"I really like looking at like, uh, vintage clothing and silhouettes that are... y'know, timeless. I mean, obviously it's really hard to future-proof work that's set in the modern setting because of course the times are gonna change, like, rapidly and there's not a lot you can do about it, but in terms of, like, fashion, there are just some silhouettes that are always going to look very classy, so... I try to put things that will not age. Like, I think there was a chapter recently where she [Persephone?] had like a very vintage Dior look which I really liked, um... and I feel like that will always look nice, like in 10 years time I'll be like, 'She looked good'. But there are some outfits which are more modern where I'm like, 'That probably won't look good in 10 years time'. But, y'know, we still got the inspired vintage Dior outfit so that's good, that's safe."

There isn't much to say about the actual transcribed text itself, but I do think it's very telling that Rachel tries to upsell her sense of fashion sense in LO when... much of it is just flat out derivative. At best she's often referencing real life people (mostly Hollywood celebrities) and at worst she's usually just grabbing stuff off Pinterest inspo boards without any consideration towards the influences or who she's putting into them.

That said, I do think she told on herself quite a bit in that final line of the interview clip - "that's good, that's safe."

I can understand wanting to play it safe in terms of knowing your limitations and not wanting to create something that would be dated in a few years.

But fashion... isn't about playing it safe. Because ultimately, how something ages in the long term isn't something that you, the artist, can control, and like many art mediums, you need to be focused on what to create next, not on how well your old art pieces still hold up in the present where they've been removed from their original context.

And I think this rings true for a lot of Lore Olympus, beyond just the fashion. It's all just a little too safe. We see it in the fashion, we see it in her uncommitted writing decisions, we see it in how often she's willing to retcon things just to write herself out of corners.

And I think that's really Rachel's biggest weakness as a creator at the end of the day. As much as she's tried to put on the persona of "screw you, I'll do what I want", her actions are always the opposite of what she says. She says that the fashion in LO is very vintage, but I can count on one hand how many outfits were actually vintage. The vast majority of them are a lot more modern, with a lot of Western influences, and sometimes with a boob window thrown in.

Case in point, the most recent outfit of Persephone wearing a practically-nude sparkle dress?

That's Rihanna's Swarovski dress that she wore in 2014.

Now, to Rachel's credit, she did find a way to personalize this to Persephone by removing the cap and giving her a rose-shaped bun, but the outfit itself is still just copied directly from Rihanna. Not only is there not a whole lot of Persephone's influence beyond her being literally made out of roses-

-but there isn't anything calling attention to the fact that this is a Greek myth retelling. And this isn't just a problem with the Swarovski dress callback, this is a problem EVERYWHERE.

And of course, that's not even touching on the fact that Hades and Hecate are forced to wear suits constantly. Because, according to Rachel, the fashion inspiration for Hades and Persephone only went as deep is "he's the groom and she's the bride"-

Rachel plays it safe by sticking purely to the inspirations she consumes from modern American media. The "modern twist" on the myths in LO is literally just "it's Greek myth but it's set in Los Angeles". She doesn't seem to want to put herself out there and actually consume Greek content any deeper than what she can find on Google, and it shows in how little Greek there is in this Greek myth comic.

There is, ironically, as I've been told by community members in ULO, a fashion collection called Persephone created by Paolo Sebastian, and in it you can see the actual Greek influences in these outfits far more than what you see in even Persephone's most visually stunning outfits:

These are dresses and yet Paolo uses them as an opportunity to tell the story of Persephone, somehow even more faithfully than an actual written adaption of The Hymn to Demeter. Because fashion, too, can tell a story - and Lore Olympus' fashion, like its writing, has no story to really tell, at least not in Rachel's hands when she's just pulling whatever she can find from what she treats as a pile of "stuff" on Google.

And that's not even getting into how the writing plays it safe much in the same way as the fashion influences and artistic choices. A good example is that S3 premiere sequence, in which Hades and Persephone are pulled away from each other so that... they can get washed down by their family and peers.

Rachel doesn't really do anything to re-contextualize this reference for the context and setting and circumstances of LO, she just goes "I liked that bath scene from Beauty and the Beast so I'm going to put it in LO."

And of course, it doesn't work as effectively as it did in Beauty and the Beast, because the whole original point of that scene was to showcase the big and scary Beast being washed down like a dog by his servants-turned-into-furniture while he stresses over how he's going to win over Belle. It's a comedic subversion, artistically by showing the ferocious beast reduced into a wet dog, but also on a narrative level by showing through his dialogue and actions how nervous he is to impress Belle because his own fate - as well as the fates of his servants - depend on her falling in love with him. He can't afford to mess this up.

But in LO, it's two naked people who we already know love each other and are committed to each other, we've already seen countless scenes of them being sweet on each other and showcasing that they're into each other, and by all accounts they've already gotten their happy ending, so it makes no sense for them to just be like "OMG SHE LIKES ME?? I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE LIKES ME!" "should I seduce him?!?!??" because this seems like a no-brainer and there's zero actual stakes riding on this the way that there was with Belle and the Beast. Plus the people washing them down aren't their servants who are in the same situation as them, they're random gods from the Pantheon whose affiliation ranges from "family" to "never even had a conversation before". One of the women washing down Persephone has literally never spoken a single line of dialogue to her; another one of them was literally dumped by her partner because he wanted Persephone more than her. Who are these people and why are they enthusiastically appearing to give her a bath? Why is Hades being given a scrub down by his own brother?

And that's really the most striking difference between inspired references and derivative ones. Undertale was a game created by a guy who was in love with retro games like Earthbound and Megaman. Stardew Valley was a game created by a guy who loved Harvest Moon and used to play it with his girlfriend. Content that's built on the foundation of another is natural and the basis of inspiration, but you have to go further with it than just going "yeah this thing existed and I'm taking it", otherwise you miss the purpose of why those inspirations were created the way they were.

And when you don't actually explore how you can re-interpret those influences and add your own voice into them, that's how you wind up writing like Rachel whose writing is about as inspired as a cheap character swap cutaway gag from Family Guy.

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Rachel's great at referencing, but that's not at all an impressive thing to do as proven by Peter Griffin. She's not at all re-contextualizing or expanding on what inspired her... but she still claims that she's exactly what she's doing because she calls Lore Olympus a "deconstruction". But her deconstruction only ever goes so far as "well what if Aphrodite left Ares for Hephaestus instead of the other way around?" and then just showing that question and never answering it or delivering on the potential of what that could cause. At best, she'll ask a "what if?" but then never actually show us the what if, it begins and ends with the question and the question itself doesn't provoke any thought deeper than "huh, yeah, that would be neat I guess." Episode's over, next scene. What if we showed that clip of Bill O'Reilly freaking out on set, but like, replaced it with Stewie Griffin and changed nothing else about it except for that? That's the joke, next scene.

I know, we're digressing hard off the fashion here, but the fashion itself is just a symptom of a much bigger problem that expands even beyond Lore Olympus - Rachel plays things way too safe. Even her responses in her interviews are painfully subdued, often resorting to the same tired answers that we've heard 823190589320 times before to the same hand-picked questions that are undoubtedly chosen ahead of time to ensure she doesn't have to answer anything too complicated. And when she does say "I have thoughts about xyz" she never actually... expresses her thoughts. She just says she does and then moves on without any further elaboration because she can't wholeheartedly commit to whatever thoughts she has going on.

Granted, I'm sure that part of that is owed to the fact that she might feel like she can't say anything while the critics are breathing down her neck. I can understand that. But it's gotten so chronic that it's now bleeding into the work itself and it's led to even more criticism of her work. Need I remind you that this is the same person who copy pasted the definition of "xenia" from a first result Google search into her comic instead of naturally writing it into the script:

Rachel played it so safe that she basically treated her own audience like kindergartners by explaining what a scene meant even after explaining it in the text:

As true as it is in fashion, writing stories and making art takes risks. That doesn't mean you have to completely throw caution to the wind, but if you don't take risks, you do yourself the disservice of writing something that can truly be called unique and special to you. If you don't use your influences wisely, if you don't analyze and re-analyze what's influenced you over the years, you're going to wind up losing a lot of subtext in those influences and missing out on the opportunity to add your own voice into the re-interpretation. Rachel does take a lot of risks in LO, but they're not calculated risks, they're not risks that actually have any meaning behind them, she's sort of just throwing stuff at a wall and seeing what sticks, and worst of all, when it doesn't stick, she herself doesn't stick to it, she backpedals, she cowers away from the decisions she's made.

Rachel expressed her worries about depicting fashion that would become aged, but Lore Olympus is already aged through her own inability to commit to her decisions, take risks, and find her voice. It's aged itself through its poor interpretations of the myth, it's aged itself through its reliance on Tumblr tropes that have already been replaced tenfold, and it's aged itself through Rachel herself riding off the initial innovation of creating Lore Olympus and then never continuing to challenge herself or raise the bar for herself.

It proves true the discussion around why Lore Olympus became popular - at the time, it was groundbreaking, drawn in a style that we hadn't seen much of before, with fresh new takes on the myth; now, in 2024, its 'takes' feel tired and half-baked, and its art style has become a corporate-scrubbed shell of what it once was. And yet, Rachel is still rewarded for it all the same, so settling for comfortable mediocrity has become the name of the game.

Rachel may be trying as hard as the Disney life action remakes and Kim Kardashian to put herself on the same pedestal as the greats of yesteryear simply by copying what they did, but in playing it this safe and refusing to find her own voice out of the voices that influenced her, Lore Olympus isn't timeless. It's soulless.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus

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heich0e · 8 months

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btw this is exactly what i look like when u reblog my fics and leave nice tags <3

#gonna get sappy in the tags pls feel free to move along but i'm reporting live from my feelings #i often find myself lately missing the days where it was more common to get feedback in the reblogs/replies of fics #the most rewarding thing abt writing to me isn't necessarily knowing ppl are reading it but moreso getting to experience it WITH them #i'm definitely not the first to point out that interaction has changed a lot over the past few years as it relates to fic #and i know that no one is ENTITLED to feedback (myself included) and i would never want someone to feel bad for not leaving any +#bc the fact that anyone bothers spending their free time reading my writing is SO lovely in and of itself #i guess i just sort of miss that giddy feeling of seeing people's reactions to something i made!! does that make sense??#anyway to anyone who ever has left me tags or comments to kick my feet over while i read them THANKS I LOVE U #and if you're a silent reader i love u too!!! thank u for being here!!!

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moe-broey · 4 months

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LIKE something I think is all of the Askr family are like mirrors. Alfonse is a reflection of how much he loves Sharena and the summoner. Sharena is a reflection of how much she loves Alfonse and how, I think in the autistic sense, I think she mirrors A LOT. Henriette is a reflection of how much she loves Gustav (and seemingly, so severely that that love struggles to reach everyone else). Gustav was likely a reflection of how much he loved Henriette and his father. All of them are performing, adhering to SOMETHING. Their roles, and what seems to be The Correct Course of Action.

#fire emblem #feh #not a full thought but like. it's there #i see autism hcs for alfonse sometimes and regardless how i feel personally on that (as an autistic guy myself)#i think sharena is SO OVERLOOKED. for autism hcs. or at least the fuckinh tendencies.#i've seen adhd hcs for her too though and maybe that makes more sense (i have less info on that)#like it's speculated i might have adhd too but i was never diagnosed (only got the autism diagnosis)#which like obvs they aren't EXCLUSIVE like often times they're co-occurring. which i think is another hc route #you COULD take w sharena actually.#as for alfonse i do wanna say i completely get it and see why people do hc him autistic #he DOES have. tendencies LMFAO #but for me. alfonse is just as much a study in cis masculinity as he is a study in being able-bodied #there are a lot of things i need to reconcile with. often. and i need that tool to navigate my feelings #so like. i absolutely don't wanna invalidate anyone's takes on him and i know JUST as deeply how personal #and important hcs can be.#to me alfonse just. has Tendencies. that attract autistic people to him like moths to a flame.#regardless of if he is or isn't himself.#and he has so many problems. but i don't think he has The Horrors you know.#MEANWHILE i think takumi is so autistic he has ALL OF IT. ALL OF THE TENDENCIES. ALL OF THE HORRORS #that's how i feel anyway!#fe alfonse #sharena #fe henriette #fe gustav

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orchideae · 6 months

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In today's episode of 'Sae, do you (...)': the topic of Ningguang and Yelan, and I thought that I should note my opinion more clearly outside of my rules as it's very important information for my portrayal: I do not ship Ningguang and Yelan romantically.

Honestly, while this is of course my own opinion, I don't find that there's anything to really substantiate a romantic interest between the two. For starters, I don't think that Ning, as interesting of a character as she is with a past that might just be similar in its 'rise' to Yelan's (we're left with very little information on the latter's childhood), ticks the right kind of boxes for her, though to be fair: not many do. Yelan craves a specific sort of thrill in her life, I mean she lives it at the roll of a dice because she is, on some level, bored, and craves the unexpected, the unusual, the 'surprise', and Ningguang's life nor personality seem to play into that. Beyond it, Yelan would need a kinship within this very specific 'loneliness' that I talk about too often and I think that Ning is not one who quite meshes into that in the right way.

Second, despite their long-standing history that even predates their mutual involvement with the Qixing, there seems to be a certain professional distance between the two that I'm quite fond of that is shown in brief event cutscenes, and also Yelan's vision story, that I find inherently intriguing. Perhaps this distance plays more into Yelan's character of not investing too heavily, or rather not too easily, into social dynamics than it does Ning's (I'm not one to weigh in on her character), but it seems evident to me that there's also that semblance of professionalism that creates a line that takes away the possibility of growing closer on an emotional level. And whether that's a mutual decision or not is not up to me to judge, but I think it's one that's made rather clearly from Yelan's side. On top of that, Yelan is Yelan and it's my personal belief that shipping her is rather difficult.

Now I'm also inherently of the opinion (unpopular, I know, I apologize) that dynamics aren't always more interesting when written in romantic settings, and I don't think it's a benefit for all of them to veer into a romantic nature. And in my opinion (and most importantly: in my depiction and understanding of Yelan's character), I think that having Ning and Yelan cross the line from professionalism into something inherently more rooted in romanticism, would be a detriment to their dynamic. Because honestly, I think the fact that Ningguang being one of two people (other being Uncle Tian) to know Yelan best, without ever crossing that line, is too good. I would simply, well, just prefer to keep that not only platonic, but professional, but of course not excluding it of Yelan's quips, and the occasional 'confidant' element.

/rambles in tags because I feel like I have more to say that I shouldn't flood the post with.

#[ psa. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors.#[ also; and this is where you'll learn more about my 'single-ship' self-- i love the concept of ningguang and beidou. ]#[ and i wouldn't want to take away from that dynamic /in my own head/. it's not about what others do/see/view. but about my own head. ]#[ if i did ship it-- it'd counter that dynamic and i don't like that (again: in my own brain). ]#[ i'm an odd rper in that sense; but i almost have difficulty straying from this... single verse concept. ]#[ in my head i tie specific characters to other specific characters after a lot of thought and i don't commit to those thoughts easily. ]#[ but then i construct this entire huge narrative in my head that's almost like its own book. ]#[ and so i can't easily 'copy' that multiple times for multiple ships. does that make sense? ]#[ but /because/ i do that-- i heavily scrutinize dynamics across the board and it's where a lot of my enjoyment as a writer comes from. ]#[ these analyses of specific characters and dynamics. why are they the way that they are? ]#[ it's psychology. i love it. it's not just saying 'i love finding out what makes characters tick' but it's actively really going... ]#[ 'yeah okay i could ship these-- but is there basis for it and /why/ and /in what capacity/ and specifically: /would they decide to/? ]#[ sometimes i tell myself that i'm not made for rp'ing because i'm too analytical meshed in with too much emotion. ]#[ because i get too invested. ]#[ but i just-- i don't know. i wanted to kind of explain why pointing stuff like this out is important to me and my portrayal. ]#[ especially for yelan who has such a... god; it's almost an unhealthy headspace. you can't mesh that with just anyone. ]#[ the person has to /really get it/ and understand it almost on this level that isn't logical for most humans. because it's unusual. ]#[ but it's important that it's understood /by another human being/. ]#[ and i also think some people genuinely don't mesh in /that/ way. some can mesh perfectly platonically in my head and then... ]#[ not at all romantically. but when /my head/ has decided that this is how it is-- i respect when people disagree; i do. ]#[ i will never say that my opinions are the be all end all for other yelans or even yelan's character in specific. ]#[ as much as i like to think i analyze-- /i could be wrong/. ]#[ but all in all; i do respect if people disagree. but there's just certain opinions i have for my own portrayal that i need to note. ]#[ but also-- a little explanation as to why i'm single-ship more often than not. i wish i could budge how my brain works. but alas. ]#[ /sips coffee past midnight. ]#[ it's been a day. it really has been a day; i need to make my own serotonin tomorrow. i miss writing. ]

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renegadeontherunn · 1 month

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hi! this is my small, gentle reminder that you don’t have to be like other people. I know the best parts of other people are beautiful and exciting and just so cool, but you don’t need to be everything. it’s okay not to be as good at watercolor as your sister or not give good advice like your mom does and it’s okay to love qualities in other people. sometimes other people’s words or their idiosyncrasies or the way they part their hair is so wonderful that you want to join, you want to feel the way about yourself, about the not-as-great parts of yourself that you do about the best parts of them. and it’s okay if you start listening to The Killers because it’s your brother’s favorite band or if you decide you want to get red converse like the ones your best friend has. but it’s okay if you can’t “keep up” with their grades or will never be able to do eyeliner as well as they can or maybe it seems like they just love life more than you do. I just want you to know that there are unattainable parts of you too. you can like things about other people that you don’t have, and you don’t have to give a compliment thinking god I wish I was like that. you don’t have to be like that. it’s okay to just be the things you are. you don’t have to be everything.

#found this in my drafts from a couple years ago & thought it was still pretty relevant haha #this isn't at anyone other than myself but #sometimes i look at the people i love and think !!!!! this part about them is so wonderful!!!!!#i want to be wonderful in the same way!!!! because i love it in them and so i want to love it in me too #but you can't have every quality and you can't be good at everything #it's okay to be what you already are #not to say that you can't try to emulate your role models don't take pieces of your loved ones for yourself #we are collages of every person we've ever loved ever known #but you don't have to #you don't have to take everything you don't have to be everything #you don't have to be like someone you love #someone you know is loveable #to be loveable too.#you can. i started listening to the magnus archives because of my friends and i like to try my hand at aus i loved reading #and those things bring me a lot of joy!!! and i love them!!#but sometimes it can turn into. why isn't this as good as theirs why can't i look like them or have as cool clothes as them or whatever #'i'm so sick of myself / rather be rather be / anyone anyone else'#'i know their beauty's not my lack / i know their win is not my loss'#maybe this is a very selfish mindset. it feels like it and ha #i wish i wasn't as selfish a friend as my friends are #do you see how this works #hm. this probably doesn't make much sense.#i just. you don't have to be everything #you are already the things you are and that's already enough #fiona speaks #i just think comparison #comparison and shame are at the root of so many of our problems. they are one of the greatest enemies to us #take pieces but. ha a uquiz told me once that your fuel does not have to be shame #idk just. yeah. what other people have is not your lack #idk

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newwave-lesbian · 6 months

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they really did just give me all of the dogshit mental illnesses, huh

#i mean what mental illness isn't dosghit #anyways the reason why my depression meds probably don't work is because i'm bipolar #that's what my therapist thinks anyways. and it makes sense considering the lil manic episodes i have #so um. that fucking sucks but it also explains everything so its fine really #like i really really want to do drugs actually #i mean i am just so sad and empty feeling #i'm working on art but nothing i'm making means anything #can i just get permission to do a shit ton of stimulants #i am sooooooo bored #i'm really trying to make myself feel better here but only with things that'll do it instantly #anyways i want to not smoke because i am running out of weed and money #but i'm gonna smoke delta 8 anyways rn because even after all this caffeine etc i feel nothing and i need something #honestly can i just pass away though. i am so pathetic #or can i actually become hypo manic again. because at least i felt something #anyways does anyone want to be friends with me even though i am severely mentally ill #or can someone give me some dopamine/serotonin. i feel like shit #vent

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 1 year

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i think anyone going into psychology should be forced to take basic math courses and some kind of seminar in data organization.

"oh i went into psychology cause i don't want to do math lol" I don't know how to explain to you that this is a scientific discipline. you need to know basic stats at least.

also to the actual university level researcher who designed this database where the text files are labelled so terribly that I have to open every single one of the over 1000 files individually to check the single number inside, I am going to strangle you with my bare hands

#sorry i'm just in a mood rn but god there is a difference when i go to a psychology class vs a biochem class. in the students and teaching #not to shit on anyone i mean math isn't easy but OH MY GOD. we're all near graduating!! how do you not know this #also label files properly. please. please. i am having to make a spreadsheet myself to make sense of this shit.#entering each point. one by one.#i hate it here.#ugh sorry. i hate being negative but i am serious when i say some basic data organization and math skills would probably fix most of this #storyrambles

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sweetdreamspootypie · 11 months

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Fucked around (tried to find the non existent archived chat log on FB messenger with my ex) and found out (why did I do that)

#The fact that it isn't in the archive is still strange to me #Like.even if he blocked me and deleted his account #Surely it usually comes up as 'fb user' and 'you can't message them'#I'm sure I didn't delete the chat log myself intentionally anyway #Maybe it's for the best #Still have to scratch the itch every once in a while #It hasn't hurt as badly recently which is good #But that just means it's into the new stage #Of well and truly 'after'#Which.#I never expected #Dating someone new in the full normie sense at the moment which is brand new #And it does help #BC I do feel like most of the lingering grief is just that I didn't have anyone else to focus on besides the past #But requiring the presence of others to make it hurt less doesn't feel secure or stable #Esp while it's so new #I've made friends recently but it's literally only been a month #Shiny new life stage #Hopefully #Gotta try not to break anything #Which will be hard #How do you date with the intention of taking it seriously while also protecting yourself from it not working out #My life #My posts #Using Tumblr as a diary #BC my last actual diary entry was a full 2 years ago and about when he started getting my hopes up again #Which is a well closed chapter now #As of like. Presumably October?#Oh yeah that's why I found out the chat log was gone originally #I was trying to work out when he last came over

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paging-possum · 1 month

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Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

#my art #gore #organs #its 2am so not a lot of this is going to be very coherent but this song makes me feel a lot of things about it all #like. its the Expectations #the expectation that im going to date men and the expectation that im going to date at all have always felt equally stifling #theres that feeling of not trying hard enough or not realizing it at first or trying to lean into what you're told you should feel #and having it not pay off time and time again and wishing you could just make it work #because everyone else around you has it just fine and you dont get why you're struggling with it so much #THERE ARE MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO IS WHAT IM SAYING #like obviously figuring out aromanticism is especially weird because its a lack of something BUT THEYRE PRETTY SIMILAR #realizing I dont want to date anyone mirrors realizing I didn't like boys but like. idk man its worse sometimes?#I wouldn't trade it for the world it means a lot to me but its almost like people go out of their way not to understand it sometimes #at the end of the day I am the you in that song #it was a very very long road to being okay with never falling in love because that was something I wanted for a very very long time #at the end of the day I will never have to be someones wife and I think its better that way #but its also hard not to get jealous sometimes #like I know its irrational I know I get physically ill at just the thought of being asked out but like #sometimes ill see my friends with their girlfriends and ill feel like clawing my own chest out with want #but also if anyone asks me out I will have to dig myself into a pit and never come out. I think.#I want to be with women but I dont want to Be With Women if that makes sense #its another layer of difficulty that I dont think I'll ever be able to get past #I feel like at this point I should just be trying to conditioning myself out of any form of desire because its just not an option for me #which definitely isn't true and like chappell roan says. you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.#but its also so tiring to have to sit here with the feeling and feel bad for having the feeling.#I dont know #I think if I felt a little more or a little less I’d be fine but I’m stuck in the middle #it feels very weird talking about this openly but also its very difficult to talk about with friends because most of them dont get it #anyways something something Josies monologue from bottoms #im going to bed

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thecowboykatsuki-anon · 1 year

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Dead of Winter

Word Count: 1,070

Description: a vent piece, simple as that.

TW/CW: *please take the extra second to read this, I never want to trigger anyone* drug use (weed, cocaine); dub-con (it’s mentioned that Dabi and reader sleep together while under the influence, but there’s no details); mentions of physical abuse, emotional abandonment, parental struggles, self hate; mentioned that reader and Dabi have a toxic on/off relationship

A/N: If this helps you, feel free to reblog it. If you hate it, please don’t come at me over it in my ask box. I didn’t write this for entertainment purposes. I wrote it for me. That being said, if you have questions about what I've written, or just need someone to lean on, please reach out. I know the holidays can be rough.

As always, MDNI

“Don’t fucking touch me, I got it.”

Your words are sharp as they fall off your lips, normally so sweet, normally so careful with the way you speak, weighing each word carefully before you release them.

Dabi’s hand falls from the space between you, never quite reaching you but close enough that the air between you grows heavy with tension following your warning.

There’s no sounds in the cold winter air except for the frantic clicking of a lighter and your cursing under your breath as it consistently fails to light the blunt perched between your teeth.

The air is cold, even for him, and he knows you have to be freezing in your tshirt, snow coating the mountain landscape before you.

Any other time, he’d snap back at you over your tone, tell you to watch your fucking mouth and stop being a brat, but not this time.

He knows you’re hurting. He knows you’re not angry with him, but you are angry with the world itself and he knows that rage all too well. Knows how it burns down everything that stands in its path with its intensity.

Winter is always hard for you. It’s gotten harder every year, and he thought for sure that last year he was gonna lose you.

You’d cut him out, which wouldn’t have worried him so much if you hadn’t cut out everyone else too. He was used to the back and forth between you, had faith that you’d come back to him eventually.

But he hadn’t expected you to fade so fast. He hadn’t expected to see you so empty. Spending sleepless nights lost in alcohol, and when that stopped working, trying drugs you swore you’d never touch, never even consider.

He remembers those moments too well, remembers watching you become increasingly wired from across the room, at a party he never thought you’d enjoy. He remembers the way you’d tug frantically at his clothes when you’d notice him, begging sweetly against his mouth for him to lay you down, remembers the way you’d cut him out again the next day.

If he was honest, he’d admit both of you were too far gone to have stayed away from one another in the first place. Swapping bitter kisses in an empty hallway, the taste of white powder from your gums lingering on his tongue long after you were gone.

He knows you hate yourself for that. Knows that because of it, you look in the mirror and see the person you swore you would never become prominent in your features, a genetic curse in more ways than one.

He feels the same way whenever he sees Endeavor’s eyes glaring back at him in the mirror.

He knows you’re haunted by more than just what you see though, he’s watched you flinch when someone has moved a hand too quickly towards you, watched you take in everything in the room like your life depends on it, watched you catalogue every reaction, every tone thrown in your direction, ready to bare your teeth and fight at a moments notice. There are still some things you won’t speak to him about, things that have cut you deeper than he can imagine, things that have steadily hunted and consumed any peace you manage to find.

It had taken everything in you to pick yourself up after last year, and he’d stood by and waited patiently for that fire to spark in you again, there to prop you up when you needed him until you found your footing again.

But winters are hard. They’re filled with familial expectations, traditions you’ve never been allowed to partake in, absences you can ignore until you can’t, and you pretend like it’s fine, laugh it off like you’ve never been hurt. But he knows it weighs heavy on you. He sees it.

It’s why you’re desperately trying to get high in the middle of a December night in a tshirt of all things, hands trembling. You’re not sleeping nowadays, and while he’s not exactly the picture of stability and health himself, he knows its not good for you to spend so many days awake without sleep.

He’s broken out of his thought by your strangled shout, arm flying back to launch your lighter into the darkness, the snow cushioning its fall and maintaining the silence.

Your shoulders rise and fall heavily, fists clenched at your sides and he doesn’t need to see your face to know there’s a desperate look in your eyes as you fight back tears, fight back the urge to go find something stronger than weed to dull everything, the memory of being so numb heavier on your mind the longer that winter drags on.

He doesn’t say anything still. He knows it wouldn’t help. He knows you’d just feel pitied and ashamed, no matter how many times you’ve pulled him out of this same darkness, refusing to let anyone help you despite the fact that all you ever do is help everyone else.

He’d laugh if it wasn't so sad.

All you’ll allow him to do for now is share in the silence, allow him to lend you his company, and he’d like to think it helps. Keeps you from wandering too far from yourself.

This time, when he reaches for you again, you let him. Let him gently take the blunt and use his quirk to light it, inhaling deeply before he passes it back to you. He can’t help but notice the way your hands shake (more than usual) as you hold it, and he makes a mental note to pay attention to if you’re eating enough.

He still says nothing as he shrugs off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders and crowding your back for extra measure, arms warm as they wind tightly around your waist, his cheek resting on your head.

“Thanks.”

He’s never heard anyone sound so tired when you speak, like you’d shatter with just a single touch, but he holds you tight anyways, let’s his warmth seep through the clothing separating the two of you.

He hopes for just a moment, he’ll be able to make you feel his love. Make you feel that you’re not alone, no matter how badly you try to minimize damage by being so.

And silently, while the smoke from your mouth clouds his view of the stars above you both, he prays that winter ends soon.

#i'm not tagging this as a dabi piece because idk if it really counts as that but you're welcome to #i have a lot of resources im all good i promise #i just needed to get some feelings out #and this is my most productive way #even if it is a little cringe #vent piece #t's selfships #self ship #if this helps you #feel free to reblog it #if it doesn't and you hate it im sorry to hear that but please don't come complain in my inbox #this isn't FOR anyone but myself if that makes sense?#sending everyone a lot of love in the upcoming months #i know the holidays are hard #believe me i know #tw: drug use #tw: dubcon #tw: abuse

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random-human-being2311 · 2 months

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I love encountering the "I only like their '70s songs" queen fans because they're such a funny flavour of extremely pretentious

the way they talk about it you'd think their entire family was personally murdered by a synthesiser and/or a drum machine

#queen band #queen #this doesn't apply very much to the tumblr end of the Queen fandom but eh who cares #my queen-related posts already have a target audience of one (1) person (myself) already #but seriously what do you guys have against synthesisers??#“it sounds too dated and 1980s” guess what my dude believe it or not people actually still use synthesisers in modern music #!! - RANT INCOMING - !!#HOLD ON I JUST REALISED #ISN'T THE GUITAR BEEPING NOISE ON FATHER TO SON (ONE OF THE TRACKS FROM QUEEN II OF ALL ALBUMS) INFAMOUS EASY TO MISTAKE FOR SYNTHESISER #AND THE OUTRO OF TEO TORIATTE #AND LIKE QUEEN MADE SURE TO INCLUDE “NOBODY PLAYED SYNTHESISER” OR WHATEVER THE WORDING WAS ON THEIR 1970S ALBUMS #**BECAUSE** EVERYONE KEPT MISTAKENLY THINKING THEY HAD SYNTHESISER IN THEM???#DUE TO THE LAYERED VOCAL SOUND AND THE OCCASIONAL WEIRD USE OF A GUITAR THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE A SYNTH #oh also on drum machines: barely any queen songs use them what's the big problem #like only a handful from one (1) album #and on those songs it really works #idk why but the drum machine just works really well in Back Chat and it's a bop #Back Chat my beloved <3 #yeah anyway these guys don't make sense to me #and the good thing about posting this on tumblr is that the chance of one of them actually seeing this is so low it's basically zero #because I'm not in the mood to get into a heated argument about that right now #I will gladly rant but I want to rant into the void not actually at anyone #that one's ramblings

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inkykeiji · 3 months

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Thank you so much for answering my question! I'm kinda new to fanfiction (not that I didnt know it existed but I literally have never seen or engaged with any until like a month ago lol) and so I just wanted to get your perspective on something I dont really understand yet. I'm autistic so I guess sometimes it's just hard for me to see/imagine characters as anything but how they are in canon, but I understand that it would be totally boring to write fanfic that only follows canon! I kinda see fanfic as that writers version of the character, like that's your specific version of Dabi and other writers have their versions of Dabi and maybe they're completely different 🤔 and I guess in my head it made more sense to me to just make a new character to make them exactly how you want and then you wouldn't have to worry about canon at all lol (because my mind wont let me see characters differently sometimes) but I get it now that you explained :) so if you dont mind me asking in your au's what happened differently in dabi/ touyas life to make him a sexual person? In canon I dont really see Dabi as a sexual person like he couldn't be bothered with relationships or anything sexual, like I almost see him as being asexual. So what kind of changed for him in your au's to make him more sexual and willing to have relationships? And thanks again for taking the time to explain for me, I really appreciate it 😊💕

hello again!! c: oh i’m glad i could help! <3 i mean, ultimately, just like all other fiction, it’s all personal preference. some people only like to read in-canon fic and some people only like to read AUs and some people like both, etc etc etc and it’s all totally and completely fine! i think you seeing fanfic as that specific writer’s version of a character/characters makes complete sense and, in a way, is also true—we are each expressing our own interpretations of him! so i absolutely get where you’re coming from there c: and i think your reasoning for being confused makes sense, too!

oh that’s a good question! unfortunately, i don’t have an answer for you, though, because i personally have always interpreted canon dabi as someone who would use casual sex (and drugs!) to try (and fail) to fill the gaping void in his chest. it is 100% fine if you disagree with me, and i will always encourage anyone to interpret any character however they’d like to. the beauty with art and fiction is that there’s technically no wrong answer to a lot of this stuff—if you personally see dabi as someone who is asexual, then he is asexual! if i see him as a sexual being, then he is a sexual being! we can have our own conflicting views on him and who he is, because he isn’t real, and he can be whoever we want him to be. does that make sense? let me know if you have any other questions or something seems unclear and i will try my best to further explain myself! <3

#i also believe that a lot of our interpretations of art + characters come from our own personal experiences #so for example: as someone who has suffered a lot of similar trauma to dabi i *also* used vices to try and fill the gaping hole the trauma #left in my chest. as such it makes sense that i might see or understand dabi as doing something similar!#sometimes we will use these characters as tools and vehicles to work through and process trauma etc.#we find a lot of comfort and catharsis through these characters right?#i really hope this makes sense and i'm articulating myself properly #but i am always open to further discussion if you need it! <3 #my main point though is: there is no right or wrong way to interpret a specific character #they are whoever you want them to be #your interpretation is just as valid as anyone else's interpretation #don't ever let anyone else tell you differently. as long as we can be respectful toward others even if we disagree with them or don't share #their interpretation; that is what matters #the only thing that isn't okay is someone being rude toward you just because you don't share their personal interpretation #anyway! yeah! i am so sleepy so i hope this isn't all just a jumbled mess HAHAHA #have a fabulous day anon and stay hydrated!!! <3 #inky.bb #clari gets mail

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