#this works really well for my purposes

[insomniac-dormouse]

Just discovered turtles don’t have teeth.

#fucking wild #this works really well for my purposes #from the shallows

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what? #deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why? #some sense of 'honour'? #I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey! #this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat. #I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little. #again #PERSONALLY

[hanzajesthanza]

andrzej sapkowski in the witcher presents his reader with many curious and refreshing takes on the fantasy genre, such as "what if dragons were good" and "what if elves were incels"

#i joke it's more like what if the ethereal being had angsty mournful man feelings #that he has feelings but can't work through them because #overemotionality is considered base and human so he's basically been bottling all of this for centuries #the elbow-high diaries #plus that his only purpose was really to be with lara and now she's gone and so what does that make him #i'm not getting all MRA lmaoooo what i'm saying is that there needs to be two to make a baby so he was one-half of that #and destiny didn't work out as planned so ... this is all that's left #reading ch 5 of lotl for the first time: THIS IS SO MESSED UP WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO CIRI!!! #reading ch 5 of lotl again and again: my god EVERYONE here is so messed up and SAD. well except eredin #eredin is like cool im gonna go fight a unicorn #'what are you talking about he wanted to kill auberon?' but not in a very intelligent way he was like to ciri 'so you wanna... kill him?' #imo book eredin is kind of a meathead and it's kind of refreshing with all these 4D chess players around

[bonefall]

So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

#Kronk meme: ''Oh Yeah. It's all coming together'' #I'll be making the fragments in another post #Just because this one's getting really long #It works well as an explanation of my intentions #I think I had been making a mistake previously to conceive of BB!Starf as a femme fatale who seduced Sky #Again: I'm not perfect! As I analyze and re-read with a more critical eye. My art changes. #Tho I will admit I do like the idea of a Starf who is totally cognizant of how she can manipulate a villain #Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman #It's that it didn't fit my story or my themes OR even the purpose of BB as a fixit that addresses canon #Better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Star Flower #BB!Skystar #BB!Thunder Storm #Also imo this philosophy will let me make BB!One Eye what I think he deserves and works best as #THE WORSE OF TWO EVILS #The Tyrant of Tyrants #And man.... the idea that Skystar becomes the Clan patron of war... #The God of Summer laughs at him. #''Outdone and reeling your wounded pride speaks the words your tender mouth can never say'' #''That you were outclassed and now you obsess over the bigger monster you aren't good enough to become'' #''You fell into the step of a lion and think you can replicate what my paw does without effort.'' #Cw abuse #Tw abuse #Abuse #Child abuse

[jamiethebeeart]

Tucker lives in my head often so I wanted to give him some attention with this piece! And I maybe, just a little bit, went overboard (sorry colorists), but I give the gift of letting them decide what to put on Tucker's screen (for @green-with-envy-phandom-event )

#danny phantom #tucker foley #danny phantom fanart #i kept going back and forth on hard lineart for Tucker's waves (the hairstyle) and im still not feeling confident #i figured the mix of old and new tech would be a fun homage to the “ghosts and tech dont mix well but old tech works a little better” idea #if you dont recognize floopy disks or the mice with balls in them.... youre probably too young (go google search) #the logitech mice with the ball embedded in the side?!?!? i still dont know what the purpose really was but they were fun to spiiiiiiin #ANYWAY the waves were important to me bc i think the berets stupid and we know tucker is protective of it so what better way than to #re-envision as a do rag protecting his carefully curated hairstyle?!? idk i just think it fits Tucker's personality #dp jbee #just noticed on my final pass that i mispelled floppy... whoops i made the drafts at like 2am shhh

[baalzebufo]

THE WEIRD AL-CANA - 01. THE MAGICIAN - YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY

---

i actually finished this right after the first one because I was consumed with the desire to keep drawing but I figured i'd space out the posting a little :p

anyway! I think this is another pretty obvious pick. your horoscope for today might be one of the musically catchiest al songs for me.. i love those horns. thats my ska bias talking, though.

[Prev Card]

#alloyart #weird al #weird al yankovic #weird al-cana #im trying not to overload these with detail on the backgrounds or whatever so i dont like. burn myself out too quick #i think this level of detail is working really well for keeping my motivation #just enough to be a couple hours effort for each #also whispers i did the zodiac colours like that on purpose because i knew it would irritate a Certain Type Of People #(playfully irritate. im one of those unfortunate souls. i stand with you. if you know you know.)

[nightside101]

Do you guys remember in arc 1 when people used to call the wizard by their name? And then by late game no one ever uses their name anymore and they're referred to exclusively as The Wizard, even by people who consider themselves to be friends? Even by people who once used to call them by their actual name? Even though they live in a wizarding world that is, ostensibly, mostly made up of wizards?

and then by Lemuria they're introducing themselves to people as The Wizard too...

#wizard101 #NPCS USED TO CALL ME SETH!!!! #surge talks #it's the loss of identity for me #the pronouns also seal the deal imo - ik a lot of people / their wizard ocs use they/them so it works out there #but also they/them pronouns are used to degender a lot of binary trans people as well so it can really go either way #makes me wonder. is the wizard beginning to forget their own identity too? or are they doing this on purpose? #both interesting to explore. #the 'I am upheld as a hero/savior to such a degree that i am beginning to forget I am also a human being' #vs 'I have too much public visibility so I will preserve my privacy in what small ways i can' #Do they want people to call them the wizard because they KNOW it's unremarkable? or has this been thrust upon them along with #everything else. hmm...

[storfulsten]

colorful funky space friends

hm kinda sus tbh

#shading is overrated #and proportions and accurate size differences are also overrated lol #anyways #sussy space friends au #if there was an au this is probably the colors I'd go for #the letsplay inspo vibes may not quite match up with most colors but it's all mostly just guidelines rather than acual rules really tbh #it's all just vibes so who cares really ha #there's a couple more dudes I'd probably want to include but they wouldn't get the most fitting colors lol ah well they'd manage I'm sure #rn I'm too lazy to add more either way ha #so ye anyways #just doodled this bc I felt like it and wanted to help myself visualize all the dang colors on the correct people so ye #messy and lazy but fulfills its purpose well enough atm at least #so ye #maybe you wouldn't agree with the color choices but with my own au and ideas these combos work just fine ha #so agree to disagree and all that #either way I'm just vibin #lazy doodle is lazy and not very serious so ye feel free to ignore and all that #enjoy or don't #whatever floats your boat #fnf au #fnf amongus au #boyfriend #girlfriend #pico #whitty #hex #carol #ruv #sarv #I draw what I want

[callmearcturus]

Fan Commentary Double Feature: MI3 and MI: Ghost Protocol

We did it. @interropunct and I have recorded 2 of the 6 threatened commentaries, in which we watch the Mission Impossible movies and talk over them in a way that will provide you all with a simulacrum of how insufferable we are to be in a voice chat with.

We have started with Fan Commentary: Haterade Edition and paired it with Fan Commentary: Stan Mode Edition by doing MI3 and Ghost Protocol as a double feature.

You'll want to hit play on your legal copy of MI3 at 2:58 into the commentary. This commentary includes:

Effusive love of Ethan Hunt, Autistic SuperSpy

Arc definitely not being in a kismesissitude with JJ Abrams

Punct trying to determine when the Maggie Q and Jonathan Rhys Myers' characters actually get named in dialogue in the movie

Thorough discussion of the underutilized kink potential of this movie

"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall" "(SCREAMS OF DISMAY AND AGONY)"

The gloriousness of Ethan Hunt doing physics equations on a window with chalk

The five stages of grief in audio form

The vibes are MST3k and jokes galore and fawning over Ethan Hunt, our babygirl.

However, if you don't need no holleration, hateration in this dancery, proceed directly to the Ghost Protocol commentary and hit play on your legal copy of Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol at 2:47. This commentary includes:

Punct accidentally admitting they find Tom Cruise hot on a live mic

"That's my theory, I think prison turned Ethan from a cat into a dog."

SO MANY BEHIND THE SCENES FACTS ABOUT THE MAKING OF THIS MASTERPIECE

"You know when you think about it, Cascade was the turning point in Homestuck in the same way the Burj Khalifa sequence was--"

Fawning over how small and cute Jeremy Renner is

Discussion of MILF Mode Ethan Hunt

McQuarrie's Actually Very Reasonable Explanation Of Why Hendricks Was Disguised As Wistrom At The Burj, And Goddammit He's Right

"You know what this means?" "You have to watch Teen Wolf now." "No. Fuck you. We have to watch more Tom Cruise movies and compare." "That's true, we do." "No, wait, we just have to go ask @malewifebillcage for a comparative history of Tom Cruise's chest hair."

The vibes are jubilant. We love this fucking movie.

NEXT UP: The double feature of MI2 (the worst movie on a technical level) and MI: Fallout (the best movie on a technical level)

Also I am currently putting copies of this commentary on youtube, check the reblogs later for that.

#mission impossible #mission impossible fun facts #ethan hunt #my fic #(well not really but for organizational purposes) #we worked really hard on this okay pls clap etc

[spheredotorb]

incomprehensible doodle page (first shot at gijinka) bone apple teeth

#in the gikabi ZONE rn so redrew the previous thing with gijinka #and just. ad libbed. almost zero eraser usage #still not sure about mag's hairstyle #i think the bluetooth braids are really nice but can't think of a way to make it work well? without making him too round/bowlcut-ish? #but i love the straight hair + longish bangs look.... #marx however. he was kinda complete already. just emerged like that out of my brain #which is funny because our system has a marx fictive #and his source/appearance is a gijinka designed by someone else so we were trying so hard to avoid that #despite him annoying the fronter (at the time) in headspace on purpose lmfao #but yeah anyways. this gikabi marx design and our fictive barely look alike (while still maintaining marx-ness) which is good #blood #body horror #<-for crowned mag and marx soul #i loooove blood n body horror theyre so yummy 😁 #WAIT I FORGOT MARXS BELLY BUTTON oh well #sphereart.tiff #gikabi #gijinka #kirby gijinka #marx kirby #magolor

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself #maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it #places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do #cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way #which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does #working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it #it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect #idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or #be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely #i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute #not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always #i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen #but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the #i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or #yadda yadda lmao #sorry for the impromptu ramble #this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art #god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex #i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less #and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow. #it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me. #part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like #that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy

[scionshtola]

currently cori has the emperors new fists for their mnk weapon bc the whole idea behind mnk cori is estinien was like “you need to learn to throw hands in case you can’t use magic or your gun.” but i’m kind of enamored by the idea of them engineering themself a pair of gloves or aetherically charged brass knuckles or something after enw

#i just like letting cori use any skills she might have picked up from working with stephanivien lol #also i’ve been toying with the idea of cori making rings or bracelets that help collect and channel their aether through their grimoire #and other weapons since they have a hard time with it currently #and i think that would be easier than making something for each weapon? but idk if that would work #i mean i guess technically speaking it’s not really lore compliant anyway so whatever but i like to stick to what i can #anyway i think estinien is like cori this defeats the purpose and cori just makes him a pair and just like the friendship bracelet #he cherishes them forever #also the conversation that exists in my head between them that’s like estinien telling cori he didn’t think it would be permanent when he #said they might not use magic one day he just wanted them to not die if they had to fight and cori’s like well. wistful glance into #the distance. you were right i guess so thank you. #is actually very heartwarming #they’re unexpected besties #i need a text post tag #sorry. i think the less sleep i get the more posts and tags i have to write

[da-proti-toku-grem]

i was having a midnight talk with my brother yesterday and i told him that when i went out with my friend the other day i didn't have any anxiety attack (like it usually happens to me every time i go out of my house), and you know i wasn't expecting him to say anything about it, people would usually go "...okay? 🤨" like, that's what it's supposed to be like, why would you have anxiety because of that? but he went: "Good! 😁" and high-five'd me

and i- i didn't know what to say but it warmed my heart :(

#i'm might or might not be tearing up a little as i write this #like. i don't think anyone has ever reacted like that when i tell smth like this #i think no one that i know irl really understand my social anxiety and everyone is like 'oh she's just shy' #and when i gather the courage to do smth that makes me feel really anxious (but it's considered 'normal' and 'not a big deal') people just - #- laugh it off in front of my face and they're like 'oh look at her! she did [whatever]' #and idk if it makes me more sad or angry. definitely both #but i never say anything ofc bc my fucking anxiety doesn't let me be mean to anyone on purpose even if they really deserve it sometimes #(well. that might just be my personality in general more than my anxiety but oh well) #fuck i'm ranting again but yeah. i felt good that someone for once didn't just laugh and actually acknowledged that it is hard for me #but i did it anyways and i didn't feel bad about it (just this time but smth is smth) #and i should be proud of myself for taking these little steps (i'm telling this to myself to convince me that it's true) #(idk it's working really well lol) #maca speaks #venting #(the venting was more just the tags but you get it)

[strawberrysweater]

augh the ot3 and saimatsu...... i just love themb so so so so so much there are so few ships i feel this strongly about... nine times out of ten if i "ship" something it's in a sorta hypothetical way where i hardly ever imagine them doing romantic things together and more just. i like them when they stand next to each other and their dynamic is good/silly/tragic/etc. but saimatsu and saiibomatsu make me so unwell (positive) like. if my aro romance repulsed ass is imagining a ship getting married i have it BAD for them ok

#ot3posting #ALSO KIIBO IS ARO TO ME fbshfjdh see what i mean #i dont think it comes across very well in my art/posts #but i do see the kiibo parts of the polycule as being distinctly queerplatonic in a way #not because it's lesser than shuichi & kaedes relationship but just bc that's how kiibo is and thats how it works out!!! #i imagine his confession went something like #'i love being your friend and it feels so special to me but i don't really want a big change in our relationship- #-i just want you both to know how much i feel it and how important it is to me' #and shu/kae r the ones who do more typical romancey stuff but that doesnt mean they dont all #spend time together and hug and kiss and say i love you etc whatever else couples do #i just think. it's all very new for them both romance and esp polyamory #they wanna break away from boxes and preconcieved notions and just be their own people for healing purposes #so they just let it be. theyre important to each other and are each others partners and that's all that matters #plus i love qpr saimatsu too #and its a little hard for me to conceptualize romance without any kind of Aroness to it yknow #so i like to sprinkle it into my fave ships. im having lots of fun #anyway more absolute nonsense from me i'll be here all week

[spirit-tracks]

Manifesting 3 hour long Zeltik video going into depth about the Zelda series' religion and the pantheon of hyrulean gods

#/hj hj #Ive just got nothing to listen to at work but MAN id love to listen to a deep dive of all the gods we were introduced to across the series #bonus points if it's a collab with several other ztubers like monster maze and nbc #actually id really love to make this video myself but im afraid my voice won't be pleasing to listen to #side note id want this video to include the gerudo goddess from oot and tp's desert dungeons #as well as gods from other worlds like termina and the realm of the ocean king and new hyrule #every single being even REMOTELY divine i want to hear where they fall on a hierarchy and what they do and their history #mainly because I'm just fascinated but also for worldbuilding purposes #legend of zelda #wicked.loz

[cluescorner]

Some people: Kaeya’s bio father is an abusive monster who abandoned his son in order to achieve his own selfish goals. He is an evil man who deserves everything awful that might happen to him. 

Other people: Kaeya’s bio father did the right thing and leaving Kaeya in Mondstadt was the only way to give him a halfway-decent life. He is a better father than he is given credit for and should not be as hated as he is. 

Me: Kaeya’s bio father is integral to the general ‘war is hell and bad choices can reverberate across time’ thing that Genshin seems to be going for. He made unethical choices, but mostly because the ONLY OPTIONS HE HAD WERE UNETHICAL. If our understanding of the Alberich’s role in Khaenri’ah is accurate, General Alberich (my name for him until stated otherwise) was suddenly in charge of a hopeless and dead kingdom which begged to be saved. Assuming that there was a reason Kaeya specifically was chosen for this mission, General Alberich was forced into a position where he needed to choose between the lives/future of every Khaenri’an vs the life and future of his young son. Abandoning either is an awful thing to do and a horrible decision, but the bad decisions of Celestia and Rhinedottir have led to a scenario where General Alberich can only make bad decisions. In the end, he chose to prioritize his people and made his young son into a spy. We do not know the process for this, but knowing how much Hoyoverse loves to torment people (especially Khaenri’ans) we can assume that this process was horrific for Kaeya and could definitely be considered abuse. General Alberich is effectively making his son into a child soldier for a war that the majority of people never wanted or asked for, and one Kaeya was likely far too young to understand. At least, until he was forced to grow up far too quickly in order to fulfill his duty. General Alberich likely loathed everything about what was happening and even in his last moments with his son he asks for forgiveness. He knows that what he is doing is wrong, but to turn back now is to both abandon his subjects and make everything that happened to Kaeya in order to turn him into a child spy be for nothing. So yeah, General Alberich is a terrible person who made horrible choices. But war and the bad actions of others have created a situation where he has nothing BUT horrible choices and where being a terrible person is the only thing he can be. And that’s without considering how the curse/abyssal corruption could impact the scenario. 

#idk #I just think that Kaeya's father is kinda an Asgore situation #where the only decisions he could possibly make were awful and unethical ones but choosing neither would create an even worse outcome #also I want to clarify that both of the other interpretations that I parroted before giving my own thoughts are valid #because we are working with such limited information and yeah no shit people are gonna have differing thoughts #people have differing beliefs and perspectives on things which are CANONICALLY CONFIRMED to be clear situations with lots of info about it #so of course people are going to go in like 80 different directions with his character #BECAUSE WE HAVE NEXT TO NOTHING TO GO OFF OF #and basically every interpretation of him I've seen is pretty reasonable #Like yeah man's son is a child spy who was abandoned in a far away country for the purpose of being a spy for Khaenri'ah's interests #thinking that he was an abusive asshole isn't exactly unreasonable #nor is it unreasonable to believe that he was actually a decent man who left his son in Mondstadt as the 'only hope' of Khaenri'ah #because he just wanted Kaeya to live on and have a life outside of the Abyss #and Kaeya was mistaken when he thought he was simply being left behind as a pawn #Genshin is no stranger to unreliable narrators and this wouldn't be the first time a character story wildly mischaracterizes something #so like...both of those interpretations are valid #and pretty fair ones as well #But I think that it really is like an Asgore situation where yeah this guy sucks and he is an awful person who made so many bad choices #But also was left with nothing BUT bad choices through war and grief and other factors that were genuinely outside of his control #Sacrifice your son's childhood and happiness by forcing him to be a child spy and abandoning him in the middle of a deadly storm #or let your people (including yourself) rot away into nothingness while facing a fate worse than death while they all but scream to be saved #there are no good options #kaeya's father #don't take this too seriously I just really liked Undertale when I was younger and I'm getting Asgore vibes from General Alberich