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#this was the most impulsive decision i ever done
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HELLO I AM FORMALLY INTRODUCING ANOTHER ROMANTIC SILLY WITH A WEDDING EDIT AHAKAKAHAKAKAJA MR AND MRS STONE BABYYYYYY LEZGOOOO
their kid is ruby and nobody will change my mind smh smh
og ref below!
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i stitched this screenshot - i feel so proud rn HSHSHAHAHAHAH
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orcelito · 1 year
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Rereading itnl to get back into the mindset for it and God Damn that first chapter really is smth huh
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4ngel-inc · 1 month
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࿔*:・ 𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐆𝐒 — 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐔𝐏 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐔𝐏 ࿐
tags — fem reader, a little angsty but mostly fluff !! ᰔ
𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 never wanted to let you go, he'd always believed you'd be together forever, but when he finally opened up and told you about his past—about his time in the mafia and everything that entailed—he thought he noticed a flicker of fear in your eyes, and it scared him. he simply couldn't handle the thought of being judged or abandoned later down the line for his past mistakes. it was selfish, really, the way the tears rolled down your cheeks solely from such an impulsive decision on his part. he regretted it immediately, but it was simply too late—he'd already broken your heart. for months, he contemplated how to get you back—flowers and apologies simply wouldn't be enough, he knew that. did he even deserve your love, after the heartache he'd put you through? he finally convinced you to grab coffee at your favorite cafe, and decided on a very simple approach, the one you deserved—spilling his heart out to you entirely. "i just want to be loved, i've never admitted it to anyone, and i've never loved anyone. i'm- uh, not sure what to do with my feelings." he looks sad, and it's the most serious you've ever seen him. after listening to him pour his heart out for a while, and overcoming a little hesitation, you decide to give him another chance. "we can try again, but please, let me see the real you this time, osamu," he waits for you to finish, "it wasn't fear in my eyes, it was love. i just can't bear the thought of you hurting, or of you being so lonely, but i'm here now, k?" you both smile, and share a sweet kiss.
𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 isn't the type to thrive off of instability—he likes safety, security in a relationship. he never wanted the type of relationship that was on and off again, it was childish in his eyes, and not something he found appealing. and so the first time you two had decided to take a break, he told himself it was the last time—he was done with the relationship, and brushed it off as a passing fling, since you two were only together less than a year. however, he begins to understand why he trusted you in the first place as time goes on and your absence starts to sink in—you made him feel different than the rest, made him feel like a different person. there was something in the way you touched him that made him feel worthy, like love wasn't a rarity or a foreign concept, but simply a part of his everyday life. and now, that feeling is gone. chuuya is quite stubborn, so it takes him a while to realize how much he truly misses you, but when it finally sinks in one night, as he aerates an expensive red wine in his glass he's sure you'd scold him for drinking so late at night, he decides enough is enough. it doesn't take long for him to show up at your door, and he's quite frank when he arrives—as soon as you open the door, he sighs, "no relationship is perfect, i'm sorry i gave up on ours, it was a stupid fight. can we try again, doll? i miss you, a lot actually." needless to say, you give in.
𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀 wasn't expecting you two to break up at all, but you just couldn't handle the pain of watching him come home bruised and bloodied every night. even more than that, you couldn't understand why he wanted to continue working for the mafia anyways, especially when they were clearly just using him—you butted heads about it a lot, and eventually you decided to leave, akutagawa coming home to an empty apartment one day. you'd warned him you were leaving a few days before, but that didn't lessen the hurt he felt the first time he had to sleep alone. even now, weeks later, as he showers and climbs into bed, he doesn't feel the same as he did before he met you. is he changing? he feels softer, more vulnerable, he feels like crying—he hates to admit it. however, you are the one who decides to come back to him, realizing you'd made a mistake. you knock on his front door one night as he's getting ready for bed, and though he answers with an inquisitive look in his eyes, he lets you in. "what are you doing here?" he asks. you sigh, "don't sound so happy to see me." he isn't sure how open he should be with his feelings, you'll likely just hurt him again. "should i be happy? you won't stay, anyways." you approach him hesitantly, "i was wrong about us, about you—the mafia is the life you know, and loving someone means accepting all of them. if you'll give me another chance, ryūnosuke," you pause before continuing again, "i'd like to show you how much i love you this time, i don't want to be scared anymore." it isn't difficult for him to give in, and you stay the night, and all of the nights after.
𝐅𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀 never pictured himself in a serious relationship, so when he does find himself settling into one, it makes him a bit nervous. he isn't used to anything, or anyone, uprooting his life or shaking things up—other than work. so, he's a bit more critical of relationships than he might be otherwise. after your first petty argument, one that only happened months into your relationship, he convinces himself that maybe, the two of you just aren't quite a good fit. he lets you down easy, "dear, i'm worried maybe we've rushed into this a bit. i'd like to take a step back, for the time being." needless to say, it hurts, a lot. but you decide to respect his wishes and give him his space, and you find you're starting to enjoy being single again. moving on from fukuzawa isn't easy—he's the man of your dreams—but after convincing yourself you simply aren't the one he wants anymore, you begin to heal, and see the sun shine through the clouds a bit. however, fukuzawa only grows lonelier as the days go on. it's the silence of his home when he returns late at night, the way he craves the sweets you'd make him, the way he reads his books without you by his side, and the way he takes his walks without your hand there to hold, that make him realize life with you was always better than life alone. fukuzawa is a stern man, but not when it comes to this—he calls you and calmly asks to talk, and after humbly asking for another chance, it's easy to give him one. he's ready to love you with no inhibitions this time—you deserve the best of him, after all, and he'll gladly give it to you.
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fredwkong · 9 months
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Ever just wanna "turn it off?"
I'm always so in my head all the time, so anxious and thinking about my future and my past. I really wish there was an easy way to let go of all of that and be impulsive and in the moment. Gain some monster muscles and maybe learn a new language to go with it? Even better. I'm tired of me. Maybe you can help me turn off all the noise and turn into someone else?
You want to be a creature of impulse and live in the moment? Sure. I understand. You feel the genie’s steps shake the ground as he approaches your car. He’s huge, shirtless to show off his bouncy pecs and sexy gut. The passenger door unlocks as he grabs the handle, and he slides into the seat next to you.
Just being in close proximity to his masculinity, his massive, leaking cock and his big sweaty muscles has your higher brain functions switching off. You feel a bit of drool leak out the corner of your mouth as the genie slaps a snapback cap on your head.
All your worries and shit melt away as the magical cap dissolves your previous self. English vanishes from your mind, replaced quickly by Spanish. Even then, most of the words you know are dumb slang. You don’t need to be a poet to get on your knees.
A dark tan flows across your face from the edges of the cap, and your features grow, becoming masculine and handsome. A thick black moustache and beard grow to cover your lantern jaw. As the darker skin flows over your body, you bulk up with muscle and fat, just like the genie. The car settles a bit as your bouncy new muscle ass grinds into the seat. Your slutty holes are so hungry.
When the transformation is done, you lunge across the dashboard to latch onto the genie’s big, hard nipple. From now on, you always act to make sure that you get off as soon as possible. No second thoughts when your leaky Latino cock is making all the decisions.
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Another wish fulfilled.
Got a wish you need twisted? Send an ask! Remember to say “I wish” so the genie hears exactly what you’re wishing for
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meanbossart · 2 months
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Couple of asks about DU Drow's scars/teeth
Made sense to me to put these together in a single post, so here you go!
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He did it to himself before being tadpoled, while active in the Bhaal temple. It was an impulsive decision likely spurred completely out of frustration; he needed to feel something and he needed to feel it hard, fast, and now. He's a bit of a pain-pervert!
Alas, he can't just get off on any sort or source of pain - certainly not self-inflicted. It hurt too badly/bled too much and so he stopped before he could "complete the job" (whatever that means - I don't think he knew it himself) Sceleritas had to come to the rescue shortly after.
And thank you so much!!!
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Save for his forearms, all of DU drow's scars were done by Orin. their location has to do with the setup that would have been most "comfortable" for them to carry out these little rituals - likely with him lying down on his back and her hovering over/right on top of him.
DU drow left the placement of these scars up to her, and she never asked to do anything below his waist. On the day she offered to work on his back, she scrambled his brains and put a tadpole in his head instead.
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He was definitely a little surprised LOL but just like with seeing his face and the rest of himself, that startle was probably quickly followed by an unexplainable familiarity. He didn't know why it looked like that, but on a subconscious level he knew it had been that way for a while and that he was "used" to it.
He's very good at rolling with the punches!
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It was most of his molars! but the rest of his teeth were "fine", just permanently stained. This is a decision I made semi-recently, so, they might still be present in old art where I happened to draw the back of his mouth - assuming that ever even happened, I'm honestly not sure LOL
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cringeworms · 6 months
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I'm writing an analysis of gender performativity in The Silence of the Lambs for my gender and sexuality class and in the course of my research I have encountered so many bad takes!! I can't not say anything so I've come to Tumblr to rant.
The most common criticism I see is that the ending of "Hannibal" discredits, undoes, or diminishes Clarice's feminism, autonomy, or power, or that it ruins the message of SOTL. That indicates a complete misunderstanding of Clarice and the point of the books! The point of "Hannibal" is to show that it does not matter how amazing, powerful, or how much of a feminist you are: if you are a woman in a career, especially a federal career, the system is designed to put you down and keep you quiet. I think there is nothing more she could have done and nothing she could have done differently to prevent her disgrace. When the system is set up to put men in power and keep them in power, your talent and integrity do not matter if they decide they don't want/need you anymore. There is nothing she can do to prevent the label of "female officer" from haunting her credibility. Even Crawford, who respects her and fights for her, sees her with the caveat of "woman." The one man who does not consider her gender any sort of detriment or a reason to treat her differently is Hannibal Lecter. They have genuine mutual respect. When she chose to be with him, she chose respect, love, and comfort over a life of fighting to be recognized, respected, or listened to. Just as much as it is respectable for women to fight for their right to be recognized in their careers, we must also recognize that that fight should not need to exist in the first place. So, why should there be any shame about choosing not to fight that fight anymore? She spent years in an uphill battle, and she probably never would have escaped it (to no fault of her own!). The ending of "Hannibal" is Clarice raising a middle finger to the system, the FBI, misogyny, and the patriarchy by recognizing that she deserves unconditional love and respect and that the system she fought so hard for was, in fact, completely undeserving of her talent or presence. Her decision is powerful and empowered!
"She was brainwashed!" she literally wasn't. Hannibal tried that (I believe because he was so unfamiliar with the idea of love or family that he didn't know how to understand Clarice outside of the lens of Mischa) but he was unsuccessful. If she was able to resist his efforts of brainwashing while in an altered state she certainly had the strength of mind to make her own decisions. Her decision was not impulsive. Also, I think it serves as a testament to her influence and power over him. She gained control of the situation and he didn't resist that. Ultimately, Clarice chose to spend the rest of her life with the one man who ever truly saw her as more than just a woman, who admired her intellect, and who respected her enough to challenge her. That is not weak, submissive, or misogynistic. Quite the opposite. She chose to leave behind the life she put years of effort into building (because she knew it would be fruitless) in favor of being finally honored and appreciated. That takes courage! She knew her worth, and she knew the FBI didn't deserve her.
Also, anyone who paid any attention to the books saw the romantic tension throughout the story. It didn't come out of nowhere. She really just needed an opportunity or an excuse to be with him, and she was finally presented with it.
I think reading the ending to "Hannibal" as anything other than empowering is a mischaracterization of both Clarice and Hannibal and shows a lack of understanding of the message of the books. I think it reflects a shallow understanding of not only the books, but of how feminism operates IRL (especially during the 80s/90s).
I also must give the disclaimer that I do not think these books are epitomes of feminism or representation. The transmisogyny, racism, queerphobia, etc., are obviously inexcusable. Just because I interpret their message as a story of caution about how misogyny operates, and how it is respectable to choose a path that does not work within that system, does not mean I agree with everything presented in them or any of their harmful rhetorics or stereotypes. I have a STRONG love/hate relationship with these stories and I don't ever mean to undersell the "hate" part of that lol.
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starsstuddedsky · 9 days
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Blonde Phase
Renjun x gn reader
summary: spontaneous hair decisions always end in regret. that's what you expect to hear when you tell renjun you're bleaching your hair, but instead you find support, and even his help. you should appreciate his wholehearted support but instead it has you wondering: why doesn't he care?
genre: fluff, minimal angst, technically they're in grad school but that's not particularly relevant, non idol au,
warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, spontaneous hair decisions (i do not endorse), lmk if I missed any
wc: 4.4k
a/n: in the immortal words of charles boyle, the most intimate thing you can do with a lover is wash their hair. yknow i made fun of him for that until i wrote this. i see it. also its been so long since ive finishing anything, pls forgive me if this is bad. renjun i love u. as always I'd love to hear what you think <3
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“I’m bleaching my hair.” If you say it fast enough, Renjun won’t be able to talk you out of it. The plastic bag swings around your wrist as you walk across the parking lot. “I’ve already bought the bleach and gloves and stuff, and I’m going to do it, today.”
He’s quiet for so long you check to make sure the call hasn’t dropped. “Okay.”
You almost drop your phone. “Okay?”
“Yeah,” he says, drawing the word out. “Was I supposed to say something else?”
“Um, yeah?” You say. “You have opinions about literally everything. You talked me out of buying those pants two days ago.” You finally get to your car, tossing the bag onto the passenger seat and half-falling behind the wheel.
“That’s because they were made of polyester, and the thrift store was still charging $15,” he says immediately. “That was a scam.”
“Money is temporary, drip is forever.”
“Those pants would have lasted a year max, before they fell apart, and you still haven’t learned how to sew so you wouldn’t even be able to mend them or upcycle them.”
“You know what, I didn’t buy the pants, so this fight is moot,” you say. You set the phone on speaker, turning the engine on to blast the AC.
“Well, not moot. Technically I won,” Renjun says.
“I’d respect you more if you weren’t insufferable.”
“Here I was thinking you appreciated my insight,” he says. “You even asked for it.”
“I did not!”
“You literally asked about bleaching your hair.”
“I said I was surprised you didn’t have an opinion, not that I wanted to hear it,” you say.
“Semantics,” Renjun says. “So what time do you want to come over?”
You frown. “Tonight?”
“The roommates are out of town for the whole weekend, and I have way better ventilation,” he says. “I’d much rather bleach it without passing out.” He pauses. “You do want help, right?”
“Honestly, I was not expecting support. I was fully ready to fight you on this,” you say.
He snorts. “Come over whenever, I'm not doing anything today.”
“See you in twenty minutes.” You hang up, feeling a strange ball of tension roll around in your gut. That was… too easy? Renjun always has something to say about your admittedly impulsive tendencies. But if he’s going to help you’re not going to reject it—knowing Renjun he’s probably already watching Youtube videos and learning more than you will ever know about bleaching hair.
And it’s Renjun. When have you done anything without his help?
.
.
Renjun opens the door wearing a wearied expression. He doesn’t bother to greet you or even smile, just unlocks the door and steps to the side.
“Hi to you, too,” you say, trading your shoes for the spare slippers resting by the doormat. You follow Renjun into the space that serves as kitchen, dining room, living room, and Jaemin’s miniature gym, with weights and mats stacked next to the television.
“Who the hell clogs a toilet and then leaves for the weekend,” Renjun says.
You set down your plastic bag full of hair products and frown. “That’s disgusting.”
Renjun leans against the counter. “And you didn’t have to spend the last forty minutes trying to unclog it.”
“So which of the guys are you going to murder?” You try to guess, running through his roommates: you find it hard to believe Jaemin would do such a thing. Jeno maybe, and Donghyuck would certainly think it’s funny. But, in all honesty, it could have been any of them.
“Don’t know,” Renjun says, “but knowing them, they’ll make a pact to protect each other.”
“Seriously?”
Renjun pauses, gaze sheepish. “It’s what I did when I accidentally killed Jaemin’s little succulent that survived his college dorm.”
You fake a gasp, placing a hand over your chest. “Every day I learn something new about you. That’s devious.”
“I was drunk!” Renjun says, holding up a finger. “And Jeno and Donghyuck pushed me into it, so it was equally their fault.”
“If you say so.” You glance around the apartment. “Where are they all?”
“Jaemin’s visiting family, Jeno has a soccer tournament, and Donghyuck said he’s going camping with Yangyang.” Renjun says, counting off with his fingers.
“Donghyuck and Yangyang are friends?”
“Yeah, according to them they bonded over dealing with me.”
“Those were their exact words?”
“Dealing with my ‘stupid ass,’” Renjun says.
“That’s more on brand.”
Renjun nods.
You think about Yangyang, Renjun’s friend from when he was a kid. You’ve met him a few times now, especially since he’s moved half an hour away from Renjun. He’s fun, always bringing out a chaotic side of Renjun whether it’s dancing on a bar or bringing out angry-Renjun. But Yangyang and Donghyuck?
“That’s a terrible friendship. They’re going to ruin you.”
Renjun nods again, but you see the smile hiding in his eyes. He can rant all he wants, you know he’s excited his friends are getting closer with each other.
You point at the bag. “So where are we doing this?”
You half expect him to lecture you about rash hair decisions but he just gestures to the kitchen. “I figure right here should be fine. The tiles should be pretty easy to clean and probably could use some bleach anyway.”
He drags the chair with a rickety leg from the dining table. You dig through the bag and set everything on the counter. While Renjun cracks a window open, you begin to mix the developer and the bleach, curling your lip at the sharp scent. Renjun joins you, pulling on a pair of gloves.
“Wow that’s strong,” he says, wincing.
“Yeah,” you say. “Definitely a good idea to do it here.”
When the powder is finally combined, you sit on the chair, Renjun following behind you. You section off your hair together, then he grabs the bowl and the brush.
He holds the thick paintbrush brush up against your hair, glancing at you, giving you one last chance to back down. You give him the nod of approval and he shifts back to focusing on your hair, brushing the bleach into it as carefully as he spreads paint on a canvas. He works section by section, carefully drenching your hair with the creamy solution.
“So, are you going to tell me why you decided to do this?”
You can’t resist turning and glancing at him. “I thought you approved.”
“I didn’t try to talk you out of it,” he says, “that doesn’t mean I’m not curious about how you came to this decision.”
You nod until Renjun uses his gloved hand to hold your head straight. “I suppose that’s fair.”
You pause, trying to find the right words. But you find yourself drifting back to Renjun. Why didn’t he ask this before the bleach was in your hair? It’s not like him to keep his opinions to himself. When you first met him, he was yelling at Donghyuck for going to a philosophy seminar just to fight with the notorious bigot of a professor (which Donghyuck did and then got kicked out, and proceeded to get the professor suspended). You only knew Mark back then, a friend from another class who invited you to meet some of his other friends in the dining hall. When Renjun turned to ask what you thought, you said Donghyuck should do what he thinks is right. Renjun didn’t hesitate to call you an idiot then. So why isn’t he calling you an idiot now?
To his credit Renjun doesn’t rush you. He continues to paint the bleach into your hair, content to wait for you to figure out an answer. Except you’re thinking about all the wrong questions. Like, seriously, why do you want him to call you an idiot?
“I want a change,” you finally say. “I’m stuck in a degree that will make me absolutely no money when I graduate, I can’t afford to break my lease, and don’t have any major relationships that need upheaving, so, hair.”
“‘A change?’” Renjun repeats. “Like, you woke up this morning and thought, today I’m going blonde?”
“Like, I have this feeling in my chest, this aching feeling that there’s something I need to do, someone I’m supposed to be, something more than the person I see in the mirror but I’ve made my decisions and I’m happy with my decisions and I genuinely like who I am. So, hair.”
You see Renjun’s hand falter out of the corner of your eye, halfway between the bleach mixture and your hair. He freezes for a heartbeat then continues to move, lifting some hair off your ear, careful not to brush the bleach onto your skin.
“‘So, hair,’” he says.
“Are you really going to repeat everything I say?”
This gets a short laugh from him. “I think the fumes are getting to me already.” He pauses, setting down the brush and stepping in front of you. “For what it’s worth, I like who you are, too. I’m really glad we’re friends.”
You smile at him. “Me too,” you say. “I definitely would have fucked up trying to bleach this on my own.”
.
.
“There’s still some bleach left,” Renjun says after he finishes with your roots. “You’re sure you don’t want your eyebrows to match?”
“Why don’t we do your eyebrows,” you say. “Better yet, why don’t we shave them off?”
Renjun sets down the brush. “Okay, no eyebrows.”
You grin at him. “That’s what I thought.”
He helps you get a plastic bag wrapped securely over your head, then sets the timer.
“What do you want to do for the next half hour?” You ask. “Preferably something that requires little to no movement.” You gesture to your head. “We’re not winning any frisbee tournaments tonight.”
“It was one time,” Renjun mutters, shaking his head and stepping around you plop down onto the couch. “We can watch something.”
You follow him, sitting on the other side, a cushion between you. The space feels strangely empty. Though you’ve spent plenty of time alone with Renjun, even alone with him at his apartment, the silence is usually interrupted by one of the guys getting bored of playing League, or coming back because they can’t go out to a bar without someone forgetting their ID, or in desperate need of Renjun’s expert advice (read: Jeno never remembers to ask Renjun to look over his submissions until 12 minutes before they’re due). The cushion between you never stays empty for long but the moments stretch on, only making the distance feel greater.
You wonder, not for the first time, how long it’s been since you’ve thought of Renjun as just a friend. If he was just a friend, you wouldn’t care so much about what he thinks. And if he was just a friend, you wouldn’t care so much that he suddenly doesn’t think.
You sneak a glance at him, fiddling with the remote for a couple seconds before realizing he grabbed the wrong one. He’s certainly always been handsome—that was undeniable from the moment you met him. But more than just being good looking, it’s Renjun himself. Not just those dark eyes, but the way they burn with passion (even when he’s arguing about the proper number of appetizers to order). It’s his perfectly shaped lips, the way they betray how he feels with a slight curve up or down—and his smile. Always, always his smile, beautiful and breathtaking even though you’ve seen it a thousand times.
He turns, a little furrow in his brow. “What?”
“Hm?”
“You’re looking at me funny,” he says. “Did I get bleach in my hair or something?”
You turn to face the TV, trying to pay attention to the show Renjun chose. “I wasn’t looking at you funny,” you say. “I wasn’t even looking at you.”
“If you say so,” Renjun says, “but if there’s a blonde spot anywhere in my hair, I’m so making you pay for it.”
You shake your head. Where the hell did those thoughts come from? Renjun, more than a friend? Sure, you’re close with him and sure, he’s objectively attractive, but you’ve never had those thoughts before. Well, at least not sober.
“Um, why are we watching Singles Inferno?”
“Because I asked and you were too busy not staring at me to answer, so I put it on,” Renjun says. “And don’t you dare try to tell me you don’t like it. I saw you rant on your Instagram story the other day.”
“Okay, but you don’t get it,” you say. “This bitch really has the audacity to to—”
“I saw your post,” Renjun says. “Believe me, I get it.”
“If you didn’t want to hear about it you should not have turned it on, because now I can’t stop,” you say. Renjun rolls his eyes but even as you delve into a full on essay about the horrible men particularly common in dating shows, you see the corners of his lips tilt up into a smile.
.
.
The timer goes off halfway through an episode.
“Saved by the buzzer,” Renjun says. “I’m putting a ban on anything reality TV related for the next three hours.”
“You’re the one that brought it up,” you mutter without any real annoyance. Despite his banter, Renjun dutifully listened to your rants, and even got mad along with you.
You drag a chair to the sink while Renjun drapes a towel over your shoulders. He puts on gloves and unwraps the bag, letting your hair fall into the empty sink.
“Close your eyes,” Renjun says gently. He tilts your head back, cupping the back of your head for a moment before pulling the head of the sink faucet out. He runs the water, long enough for you to peek your eyes open.
You’ve gotten used to seeing Renjun focused. He gets a little furrow in his brow, always glaring at his work. Before you were friends, you used to think he was actually angry, that his frowns and short tone were real. You’ve learned since then, it’s not his emotions, it’s his passion. The frown only comes out when he’s focused, trying to be perfect. When he cares.
“Unless you want bleach in them, close your eyes,” Renjun mutters, with absolutely no malice behind the words. His eyes shift to meet yours and that’s how you know you’re right. He can glare and bluster all he wants, he can’t hide his eyes, warm and shining. Like when he’s looking at his art, his gaze is a combination of soft and intense, creating something stronger than affection. Except he’s not looking at his art, he’s looking at you.
You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling your heartbeat pick up. Despite every attempt to shut down the thoughts, they race through your head, a stampede grown out of control. Renjun, who you’ve only known a year and a half but who has become one of your closest friends. Renjun, who never fails to share the only opinion you really care about. Renjun, who you can’t imagine life without. Renjun, who you’ve never dared to imagine life with.
He places a hand on your forehead, bringing the faucet closer to rinse your roots while keeping the water from pouring onto your face. You prepare for a cold shock but the water that soaks into your hair is the perfect temperature—not scalding hot, not freezing cold. Some water sprays over his hand, falling onto your eyelids and cheeks.
“Sorry,” Renjun murmurs. He holds the head farther away, running his fingers gently through the roots of your hair. He’s so close you can feel his breath, warm against your temple. You can feel his body, hovering over yours, and maybe it’s just your imagination, but warmth seems to emanate from it.
His friends would laugh at you if you described Renjun as soft to their face, but it’s the only adjective that captures the way he works the water through your hair. Soft and gentle and careful and nothing like the Renjun that has to corral everyone into his car at 3 in the morning. And yet this Renjun doesn’t feel like a stranger to you.
Washing your hair takes a lifetime, but as soon as he steps away and turns off the water, you miss it. You miss him, even though he’s only a couple feet away.
“You can open your eyes now,” he says. As soon as you do, he tosses a towel at you. It hits you in the face before you can get your hands up.
“Hey!”
“Sorry,” Renjun says, not sounding sorry at all. He manages to hold back the laugh but still grins at you, unashamed. He steps forward and pats your face dry, with the same gentleness as before, though there’s still a mischievous glint in his eyes. You yank the towel away before he gets any ideas, drying off your face on your down and wrapping it around your hair. You wring it out a couple times before letting go, doing your best to get it to fall evenly around your head.
You raise your eyebrows at Renjun. “Okay, how bad is it?”
“Okay, first of all, I’m insulted that you think there’s any way I’d fuck up you hair,” Renjun says. “And it looks really good. Blonde suits you.”
You take a deep breath and pull out your phone, studying yourself in the mirror and… he’s right. The color is even, somewhere between blonde and orange that is unavoidable when using bleach. Radical hair changes generally end in tears but looking at yourself in the mirror, you don’t feel the usual dissonance. The hair is different but somehow more familiar than the “normal” you that doesn’t feel right anymore.
“I’m right,” Renjun says.
You smile. “Yeah, you are.” You put down your phone, meeting his eyes. “Thank you, Renjun.”
“For what?”
“Doing all of this for me,” you say.
“It’s the least I could do,” he mumbles. “You’re my friend.”
You shake your head. “Thank you anyways.”
Renjun just shrugs and grabs the bowl, rinsing out the bleach in the sink. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s avoiding your eyes.
You do your best to clean up the bleach from the floor, busying yourself until Renjun finishes. You wonder if you’re imagining the tiles getting a little bit whiter. Finally, he turns off the water and glances at you.
“You’re really happy with it?” He asks, sounding more like he doubts you rather than changing his opinion.
“Yeah,” you say, standing up. “I think it’s the ‘me’ of right now, you know?”
“Not really.”
“Like, I feel disjointed, and blonde hair is definitely not me, but it's the me that feels kind of all over the place, so even though it doesn’t look like me, it looks like me.” You wring your hands together, fingers tinged red.
“That makes no sense,” Renjun says, “but I think I get what you mean.” He smiles. “And I’m glad. I wouldn’t want you to have any regrets.”
So he did think this was a potential mistake? Why didn’t he say anything?
Renjun turns back to the sink, but before he can turn the water on, your voice calls his name. “Renjun?”
“Hm?” He doesn’t turn around.
“Why didn’t you fight me on this?”
He doesn’t move for a long moment. You wish you could see his face. “I have been told by certain people,” he begins, which is code for Donghyuck and Yangyang certified their position as Renjun’s worst nightmare. He turns to face you, wiping his hands on a towel.
“That I have a tendency to be overly opinionated in a generally negative direction. And I thought about it, and I realized I'm never really fully supportive, whether it’s a big decision, or, like, coffee, and I’ve always been this way, but, apparently, it’s especially… apparent with you.” He frowns. “This is all coming out wrong. I’m trying to say that it’s different when I’m around you. I’m different.”
Your eyes jump between his, trying to decipher what he’s saying. “Different?”
“I care a lot about you,” Renjun says, “more than anyone, actually.”
“Oh.” You blink once, twice. “Wait, you like me?”
Renjun’s eyes shift to the floor. “Yeah.”
You can’t help but let out a short laugh, reeling at the absurdity of it all. Renjun likes you? But he’s Renjun. Even though he’s the most common main character in your daydreams, you never once realistically thought he might be fantasizing about you too. But he likes you.
“I really didn’t want to say anything, I mean, before anything else you’re my friend, and I don’t want to ruin that,” Renjun says rapidly. “We’re good friends, and I really didn’t want to be the guy that pretends to be your friend but just wants to date you the whole time, that’s really not what I was trying to do, it’s just—”
“Renjun.” You put a hand on his shoulder and he freezes mid sentence, mouth still hanging open a little. Before he can move, you lean closer, the type of line you’d only dare to cross in your dreams.
“I’d like to kiss you,” you say softly. He blinks, eyes darting between your eyes and your lips.
“I’d like that,” he finally breathes. So you kiss him.
It starts light, his lips exactly as you imagined—soft and warm. His arm works its way around your waist, pulling you closer. The other works its way into your hair, still wet and sticking to your head. Renjun kisses like he’s been planning this for a long time, and maybe he has. Every movement is slow and careful, until he’s stolen all your air and even then you don’t want to pull away.
Your bravery fades the minute you meet his eyes. You bury your face into his chest, your cheek resting against your own hand. Renjun wraps both of his arms around you, holding you snugly in place.
“I like you, too,” you say into his chest. It’s the cowards route but if you look him in the eyes the words will never come out. “If it wasn’t obvious.”
“It wasn’t actually,” he says softly. “I think I drove all of my friends insane trying to figure out whether I should confess or not.”
“They all know?” You groan. “We’re never going to hear the end of this.”
“Yeah.” When Renjun laughs, it shakes your whole body. You can feel the rumbling, overtaking his heartbeat. “It’s okay though. It’s worth it.”
You turn your head, emerging from the sanctuary of his chest and tucking your head so that you can see his face. He smiles at you with the familiar warmth you’ve come to expect.
“Yeah,” you say, “it really is.”
Renjun grins.
“Your hair on the other hand…” He says.
“I thought you liked it!”
“I like it,” Renjun says, “but when has Donghyuck ever liked a single change to anyone’s hair?”
“Since when do you care what Donghyuck thinks?”
“I’m just saying now that we’re officially dating, my friends are going to be extra annoying,” Renjun says.
“Extra annoying? I didn’t think that was possible.”
“Don’t underestimate them.”
You groan, pressing your face back into his chest. “It’s not too late to get some hair dye.”
“You are not changing your hair because of my dumbass friends,” Renjun says.
“You like it?”
“You like it,” he says. “That’s the only opinion that really matters.” He pauses then adds, “But yeah. I like it.”
You grin, lifting your head to kiss his cheek. “Maybe we should dye your hair too.”
Renjun snorts. “Oh yeah?”
“We could have matching couples hair.”
He laughs out loud this time. “Maybe we should just get some shirts.”
“Three minutes of dating and you already want matching shirts? Huang Renjun, be honest.” You push off of him until you can place your hands on his shoulders and look him in the eyes. “Are you obsessed with me?”
“Yes,” he says, layering his voice in sarcasm that still isn’t enough to hide the truth of the admission. “All day every day, all I think about is you.”
“Well, see, that can’t be true because if you were that obsessed and I’m this close, you would already be kissing me because—” You forget whatever you were going to say, but it doesn’t really matter. Not when Renjun is kissing you like this. Your hands at his shoulders slink around his neck, while his wrap around your waist, leaning so close to you, you feel your back begin to dip.
Huang Renjun is poison, the kind that turns into a heart-shaped puff of pink when the bottle is opened. You melt into his kiss and it’s still not enough. You could die, right this instant, and you don’t think you’d notice. Death itself wouldn’t be able to tear you away from this moment.
“Renjun!” Donghyuck’s voice thunders through the kitchen. “How dare you? You bastard, you’re cheating?”
You jump apart, turning to see him looming in the doorway. His glare settles on you, and you see the exact moment he realizes he recognizes you.
“Jesus Christ, you could have knocked or something,” Renjun says.
“I live here too,” Donghyuck says automatically. He squints, then looks at Renjun, then back at you. “YN? Your hair is blonde.”
For some reason, you raise your hand and wave at him. “Hey!”
“Oh my god!” Donghyuck cries. “Yangyang owes me thirty dollars!” He races back out the door, screaming something that’s lost as the door swings shut.
You glance at Renjun. “Cheating?”
He frowns at the door, still a crack open. “Did he… seriously think you were someone else? That I was cheating on my unrequited crush?”
His eyes shift to yours. A heartbeat passes and you burst into laughter. His friends might be annoying, but they’re still endearing. You press a messy, smile-infested kiss to his lips and wonder if you’ll ever get used to the giddy feeling.
There’s plenty messy in your life, plenty to doubt. But watching Yangyang and Donghyuck drag their backpacks in (apparently Donghyuck forgot his power bank and they decided to give up on camping) as they attempt to interrogate Renjun on every detail, you can’t help but feel like it doesn’t really matter. You don’t doubt Renjun. You don’t doubt blonde suits you. And you don’t doubt the power of a last minute hair decision, not anymore.
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thank you for reading!! likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated
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propertyofkylar · 4 months
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midnight visitor (m!yandere incubus x gn!reader)
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you meet damien at a club and are instantly entranced by this handsome stranger. but not only is he equally entranced with you - he has some secrets to hide.
cw: yandere, nsfw, alcohol mention
The bright lights and loud music of the club swirled around you. It would’ve given you a headache if you weren’t just drunk enough for it to be enjoyable.
Truthfully, you weren’t much of a club person, but today being the birthday of your best friend was reason enough for you to let loose for once. So here you were, surrounded by people on the dance floor.
You took a step back and cringed almost immediately when the heel of your foot came into contact with what clearly was someone else’s toes. You whipped your head around to apologize and found yourself face-to-face with an incredibly handsome man.
The frown on his face quickly faded as he eyed you up, flashing you a smirk. Your breath caught in your throat - the man was beautiful, and you were only human, after all.
“S-sorry,” you managed to get out, but the smirk on the man’s face only grew. You took in his long, dark hair, his defined cheekbones and the way his eyes seemed to be a dark red. But that must’ve just been the club lighting, you figured.
“S’alright,” the man said in a smooth, deep voice. He held out a hand. “You can dance with me to make up for it.”
“Um,” you felt your face flush. You weren’t used to this kind of attention. “Okay, sure.”
His hands slid to your waist and he pulled you close, the two of you moving vaguely to the loud music. It wasn’t like skill really mattered on the dance floor, anyway.
“I’m Damien,” the man said with a smile, and the look in his eyes made you realize he didn’t plan for this to be a one-and-done sort of dance. Not that you minded - your friends might be annoyed if you ditched them for a guy, but you had been at the club for a while now, and your group of friends had spread out, so they might not really mind after all. Besides, you had seen your best friend making out with an unknown woman in the corner just 15 minutes ago, so she had no room to speak.
You introduced yourself and Damien watched you like you were the most interesting thing he had ever seen. His stare was…almost enchanting, in a way. 
What a weird thing to think, you mused to yourself. Maybe you were drunker than you thought. 
After the two of you had danced for a few songs, Damien took your hand, sending shivers through your body. “You look tired. Would you like to sit down?” He gestured to an empty booth nearby, and you nodded.
“Yeah, thanks,” you said as the two of you left the dance floor and sat. He smiled at you and you felt that enchanted feeling again.
Damien laced his fingers together and rested his chin on top of them, looking at you like you were the only other person in the building. You weren’t necessarily an unconfident person, but frankly, you really weren’t used to this level of attention, and it made you blush. “So,” he said. “What brings you here tonight?”
“My friend’s birthday,” you gestured vaguely in the direction you had last seen her. “You?”
He gave you a smile that you couldn’t quite place. “Just…looking.”
“Oh. Oh,” you said, as you caught the intention behind his words. “Um. Well, I mean I’m flattered, but I’m not really—” 
Damien’s low chuckle cut off your rambling. “Relax. Not like that, so don’t worry.”
“Oh. Um, okay,” now you felt kind of stupid. You were making a fool of yourself in front of the hottest man you’d ever seen.
His eyes looked into yours before he spoke again. “You seem like you’ve had a long night. Would you allow me to take you home?”
If you had a drink, you surely would have choked on it. “I only live a few blocks away. It’s okay.”
Damien gave you another smile. “Even better. I can walk you home. Trust me, I’m a gentleman. No funny business,” he splayed his fingers as if that was proof.
Maybe it was the number of drinks you’d had, or maybe you just made impulsive decisions. Either way, you agreed, and the stranger walked you back to your apartment.
The two of you chatted idly along the way, not really talking about much. When you made it to the front of your building, you pointed and said, “This is me.”
The man looked down at you, and gave a soft smile. He leaned in and kissed you on the cheek, which felt more intimate than if he had kissed your lips, somehow. “Sweet dreams,” he murmured, but it felt like he meant something more.
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That night, you were having the hottest wet dream of your entire life.
The handsome man from the club had his face between your legs, and grinned wolfishly before diving in, licking and sucking in a way that gave you pleasure like never before. “You taste so good,” he murmured, and the vibrations from his low voice sent shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body.
“Fuck…” you mumbled. At your response, you could’ve sworn you saw Damien’s eyes flash blood red. A small part of your consciousness knew it was a dream, but it felt so real. And so, so good.
One moment you were whimpering and squirming, clutching Damien’s hair as you moaned his name, then the dream suddenly switched and his form was looming over yours, looking not unlike a hunter sizing up his prey.
You felt something against your thigh and looked down to see his thick cock pressed against your leg. Your eyes met his and he smirked.
“Don’t worry, I know it’ll fit,” Damien snickered as he rubbed the tip teasingly against your entrance. He moved his head closer to yours so he could press kisses to your neck, before suddenly biting down. Hard. 
You squealed, twitching in a way that bumped the tip of his cock on a sensitive spot and made you squirm even more. “I don’t wanna wake up…” you mumbled, desperate for more.
Damien chuckled again. “Mm, they always say that.” And with that, he plunged his dick into you with a gasp.
It was a dream. You knew it had to be a dream. But it felt so real. And it felt so good. You were whining as Damien pounded into you relentlessly, his own face bright red.
“Fuck,” he moaned. “You feel even better than I imagined.”
You weren’t even able to form a response; you just laid there as he fucked you better than anyone had in real life.
“Hah, you’re taking my dick so well,” he whispered into your ear, causing you to clench around him. “Feels like you were made for me, doesn’t it? Feels so good…”
His words, coupled with his earlier acts, brought you close to your peak. “I’m–fuck–I’m gonna…” your words were interrupted as he touched a particularly sensitive spot inside of you.
“That’s a good pet,” Damien grunted as he slammed into you. “Cum for me.”
And you did, crying out his name as you came undone. But he didn’t slow down at all. If anything, he moved even faster and harder as his own climax approached.
“Fuck!” Damien yelled as he thrust his cock as deeply as he possibly could inside of you, gripping onto your waist as he came. Breathing heavily, he pressed a kiss directly below your ear and said your name quietly. It sounded so beautiful coming from him. 
“I’m gonna have to come back for seconds,” he said with a laugh.
When you woke up in the morning, the dream was nothing more than a hazy memory that you couldn’t recall no matter how hard you tried. All you knew was that your legs were sticky and there was a dull heat throbbing inside you.
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At that moment, entirely unknown to you, Damien himself was pacing back and forth on the rooftop of your building.
Damien prided himself on many things. He was a confident man. He was incredibly charming and equally as handsome. He could get anyone to do anything he wanted. He had been a demon for a very long time and had spent many, many nights hunting down prey, visiting them in their dreams, and taking what he needed from them to survive. This was how it had gone for many hundreds of years (he had lost count at this point). It was simple, there was no attachment, and he never struck the same victim twice.
Until now.
He cursed to himself as he walked to and fro, deep in thought. You had stood out to him at the club, naturally - he was not one to take on just any prey. No, he had specifics in what he liked, and always got what he wanted. But there was something different about you. Something that he couldn’t quite place, something that sent shockwaves through his body every time he thought about you and how you had behaved in your dream.
Damien should have known you were different from the instant he smelled you at the club. You had smelled like the most mouthwatering dessert to him, and that is when he knew you would be his pet that night. Actually getting to taste you, though, was something he had never experienced. Imagine the most delectable meal you have ever had, and then multiply it by five. That is how you tasted to Damien. You were so soft, so sweet, so tender. 
It was maddening.
He had to have you again. He knew that, at least. His mind was overwhelmed with millions of thoughts rushing in, all of them centered around you. How he could see you again. How you would taste and feel in your dreams again the next night. How he could make you permanently his.
That settled it. He would have to visit you nightly and keep an eye on you during the day too to make sure no one else had you. You were going to belong to him and him alone. Damien knew at that moment he would do whatever it took to make sure you were his. 
A grin slowly grew on Damien’s face as a solid plan formed in his mind. He whispered your name into the wind, savoring how it felt on his tongue.
When he was finished, you would never think of anybody else.
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coffincestuous · 3 months
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i’ve seen some people say that ashley is kind of an extreme portrayal of mental illness(es), but, from my own experience…. she’s actually a very real portrayal. all of her possessiveness, her mood swings, her dependency on andrew, her choice to not think too long about super traumatizing shit, her impulsiveness; all of those are very normal, very accurate ways mental illnesses and other disorders manifest
(andrew also shows Many signs of mental illness(es) and disorders, and so does their mom, but that’s not what this post is about!!)
i’m not going to try to diagnose her or anything, and i’ll try to keep my headcanons to myself, but i believe we can all tell that the way she thinks and acts is not exactly healthy for her or the people around her. she’s harmful to herself, andrew, and a lot of others. there’s genuinely So Much that has influenced the way she is, i kind of don’t even know where to start
she wasn’t “born evil,” like her mom says. she isn’t even “evil,” she just… doesn’t really understand. that’s not a bad thing!! she doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her behavior, because no adult ever taught her. no adult ever cared enough to make sure she learned how to treat people nicely. no adult ever paid attention to her harmful behavior and tried to correct it. we see that ashley has been kind of an asshole from a very early age, and she’s always been pretty blunt with her thoughts and feelings. she hasn’t ever felt the need to sugar-coat things, to spare other’s feelings. aside from andrew, nobody has ever been genuinely nice to her, or spared her feelings, so why should she bother?
similarly, she doesn’t lie too often, unlike andrew. she doesn’t like pretending, especially not with him. she says in game, during dinner with their parents, that she can’t “keep up” with andrew’s lies. we only really see her lie of her own accord once, and she doesn’t donit very convincingly.
she doesn’t really care about anything that doesn’t concern her or andrew, which is like. The Most logical path for her feelings to take. andrew is the only person that she’s ever known who cares about her. he’s been by her side for her entire life. her parents, her neighbors, and her friends have done wrong by her, and have been driven away by her… Her. except for andrew. (we’re ignoring the chapter two decay route for this). he’s been there through everything. he’s cared when no one else has. he’s seen her at her worst and her best moments. again, no adult taught her about caring, or pretending to care. she doesn’t feel the need to mask like andrew does, and she doesn’t have a want to “fit in” to a society that has failed her and her brother. she’s been treated as an outsider for her whole life, so she probably believes she’ll never “fit in,” she’ll never be accepted, and she doesn’t need to fit in or be accepted by them.
she greatly values loyalty in her friends. we see her act this way with andrew, with nina, and with julia. she sees people chosing others over her as a betrayal. other than andrew, no one has ever chosen ashley first. that upsets her!! that would upset anyone, but it especially upsets her because no one has ever chosen her first. her parents gave andrew all of their attention, but not her. her two friends have betrayed their friendship and put andrew above her. in game, she says it herself: she should be the top priority. with every encounter, every back-and-forth, every relationship, every decision, she’s waiting to be pushed aside. she’s waiting to be discarded. with andrew, she’ll do anything in her power to make sure he doesn’t leave her, either.
i think that it’s really interesting that she really is her worst self with andrew. she’s mean, she’s violent, she’s petty and crass and acts very childish, but she generally feels safe with him. she feels comfortable with him, and doesn’t feel the need to hold herself back at all. there’s security to be found in a relationship (of any kind) that you can say terrible things and act in horrible ways and that person stays by your side. that’s a huge part what she has with andrew. she trusts him to stay by her side, despite how awfully she may act. she places a Lot of importance on his presence in her life.
even the murder and cannibalism can be attributed to mental illness (along with The Plot). the intense mood swings that she has go along with her already violent tendencies. she feels anger, frustration, annoyance, and a whole bunch of other really negative emotions that she’s never learned to cope with. a lot of people in real life use violence as an outlet for anger. plus, she doesn’t allow herself feel upset or disgusted by death, even at her own hands (if she even feels it at all). despite that, i believe that murdering her parents had to be So cathartic for her and andrew. ashley explains in the decay route why eating people makes her feel powerful and in control, and being in control is something she very obviously feels that she lacks. she’s seen as manipulative, but she doesn’t really succeed at her manipulation. she’s understandably insecure with her entire existence, so she tries to control whoever and whatever she can, and that extends to andrew, murder, as well as cooking and eating people
there’s a lot to life that is treated as “normal” and “universal,” but everyone starts with absolutely no knowledge. experiences build a person’s worldview and shapes their personality, and ashley has had very rough experiences. she is a product of abuse and neglect and mistreatment, and is a very realistic depiction of a person who has had the experiences she’s had. the game has a pretty light tone despite the content, but it being “pretty light” doesn’t take away from the amount of detail that is put into the main characters and the trauma that they’ve suffered
ashley doesn’t have to be “good” or “positive” representation to be accurate representation, and i feel like nemlei has done a fucking excellent job at making a very, very unwell person (or two or three) in a very, very unwell society, and i am so extremely excited to see more of the graves’ childhood in chapter three
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rez-urrection · 3 months
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I saw someone else on here saying how Rick needs someone with a different moral compass to go with him on adventures because otherwise it'd be an echo chamber of bad decisions, and thats why he brings Morty (very outspoken against him) rather than Summer (very often outspoken against him, however very much aligns with his violent impulses)
and I agreed with that, however I wanted to add my own theory as to why he brings only Morty, which kind of goes along with theirs.
I lost their post/url so I dont know who it is who posted that, but if I find it ill reblog with a link to their post, or if one of you find it youre welcome to do that for me !!
okay, so. it seems to me that another reason Rick would take Morty most times and not usually Summer is not only because Summer is more likely to become a moral echo chamber, but because Morty is the most likely in the family to not end up another Rick.
let me explain what I mean:
Rick has witnessed the citadel and how that ended up, he's implied to have witnessed the deaths of so many people (not just Ricks) for being too confident in their smarts. he knows that his life style kind of ruins you if youre as smart as he is because you start getting to know that you are.
this won't happen with Morty.
Morty is a lot of things; resourceful, highly adaptive, good in combat (when he can be), quick on his feet and passionate. but one thing he isnt, is like Rick.
Morty gets none of his traits from Beth or Rick. he isnt inhumanely smart (in fact its canon that he's quite the opposite), he isnt predisposed to being cold and uncaring, he isnt as impulsive (he still is, just not as much), the list goes on.
not only are Summer and Beth predisposed to end up like Rick, they have, on many occasions, acted exactly how Rick would've acted in situations. and to me, it seems like that scares him.
Morty however is very different to Rick, and Rick knows that very few Mortys ever end up even a fraction of the man he is.
Mortys are not predisposed to end up cold and uncaring, in fact Mortys are predisposed to be the exact opposite. Mortys are "hardwired for forgiveness." theyre empathetic, loving, forgiving. Mortys rarely harden into the kind of person Rick is, or the kind of person Summer and Beth would be.
Morty is the obvious answer to who Rick should rely on - he'll never be bad. Morty is good at his core. at least most of them are, of course just like there's outlier Ricks (c-137 himself), there's outlier Mortys, but as a general statement, Mortys are good at their core.
kind of off topic, but I also beleive that c-137 is good at his core.
let me explain.
he is, by admission, a different kind of Rick. he wanted to stay home, to be there for the girls, he was even willing to give up his dream of science just to be there for him.
when they died, so did a part of him.
he lost the love of his life, and he lost his daughter. he lost his perfect little family.
and what did he do ? go insane trying to find the person who did this to him, and get rid of them.
the things he did on the way were kind of a "in the grand scheme of things" type of situation.
again another blog already said this (here) (hopefully that worked), but when Prime said he c-137 could've been him- he already was. he was in the exact same situation that Prime was. he offered someone infinity, and they rejected it. but instead of going the way Prime did, which was killing the people around Bird Person to force him to travel infinity anyways, he just moved on. he got upset at first and tossed some weak insults, but he moved on. because, as the above post says, its not that big of a deal. it wasn't the end of the world for him.
now, im not saying c-137 has never done anything wrong. hes done a lot of things wrong. what I am saying is he's good at his core; his goal was never and still isn't just to hurt people. his goal is revenge and in his eyes, its a ticking time bomb. anyone in his way has to be swiftly dealt with because he's running out of time.
also - of course he can't show how much he loves Morty. he doesnt know if Prime is still watching him, but he does know that the Omega Device could very well still be on operation, and he finds out he was correct in this assumption in Ultmortricken.
if he had shown his love for Morty often at all, who knows what Prime would've done with that information.
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divinemare · 9 months
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Hello!! I loved your fic Back to December (love the Taylor Swift reference) and it had me in tears. Is there any way you could write a Liam x reader where they meet on the day on the parapet and then become friends and it slowly turns into a friends to lovers situation? I love your writing and I can’t wait for more Fourth Wing fan fics <3
thank you so muuuuch! you’re so sweet, and thank u for your request!
sorry if this took so long, but I did my best so I hope you like it!
Snow On The Beach
FOURTH WING ONE SHOTS: Liam Mairi x reader
summary: well…need I to explain it? Snow On The Beach - Taylor Swift ft. More Lana Del Rey, duh
tw: none
“It’s gonna be ok, it’s gonna be ok, it’s gonna be ok…”
You repeated over and over again trying to calm the nerves in the erratic beats of your heart.
But was it? You were about to cross the parapet, the most fucking deranged way of welcoming students into their first year. Yet you had actively, willingly chose to be here, to do this.
“Why am I so impulsive,” you murmured under your breath, whining internally about the series of bad choices that had led you to this very moment in your life.
It had all begun with your awful, hating sisters making a passive-aggressive comment about how you couldn’t actually ever survive becoming a dragon rider, how you wouldn’t even survive crossing the parapet to begin with. They were two of the best healers with the best ranks, coming from a long family of the best healers; in the best ranks. All your family had ever done was try to brainwash you into becoming a healer, but you had never actually found the profession interesting at all, you had been obsessed with dragons since the day you learned to talk.
But you had just read about dragons, you had never actually seen one up close, only when they occasionally overflew your city, but that was it, that had been the closest you had ever gotten to a dragon in all your 20 years of life, how were you supposed to survive bonding one? Yeah, you had made a biiig mistake.
First it had been your sisters comments, then everything went downhill when your ego got bruised and offended, and that same day you sent your application to Basgiath for the Riders Quadrant.
An now you were here after your stupid, impulsive decision to shut your sisters mouths up, in the line of stupid people that were about to cross the stupid parapet.
“Hey,” someone touched your arm, but you were so focused in your prayer to the Gods you did not noticed the guy standing in front of you talking, so you jumped in surprise by his touch.
Good Gods, those were some deep blue eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to startle you,” his smile was just as beautiful as his eyes, and just as beautiful as his blond hair as well.
“No worries, I’m just in a perpetuate state of paranoia right now,” he laughed slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile at the deep rich sound.
“You dropped this,” he extended you something, and you looked down at his palm.
You couldn’t help but grimace at the awful necklace that stared right back at you. It had been a “gift”, supposedly.
“You can keep it, my big sister gave it to me, and I’m not entirely sure that she didn’t curse it to give me bad luck,” the guy lifted an amused eyebrow, and you sighed in defeat. “Forget it, I guess I will know if it’s cursed when I fall into my death hearing Malek’s and my diabolic sister’s laugh in my head,” but just as you were about to take the necklace from him, he snatched it back, and you stared up at him with a furrowed brow.
“Now, we don’t want that to happen, do we? I’ll keep it and clean the bad vibes off it for you until you cross the parapet safe and sound,” he put in his pocket, and you couldn’t help but look at him with confusion and amusement at the same time.
“And how do you pretend to do that, exactly?”
“With my charming good vibes, of course,” you stared at him with an eyebrow raised for a second in total silence, but then inevitably laughed out laud.
You saw the guy’s smile lighting up as you tried to cover up your laugh with your hand.
“Liam, by the way,” he extended his hand towards you again, this time with the purpose of introducing himself.
“That’s such a sweet name,” Liam arched an eyebrow with a pleased smile on his thin lips.
“Well thank you, and may I know your sweet name?” You extended your hand to him to go for a shake, and he immediately accepted it with his.
“Y/N.”
“Y/N,” he breathed when you both released each others hands, like tasting your name in his mouth.
“Next,” you both heard someone say behind Liam, and your gazes, that had been held on each other, finally turned towards the guy behind.
Liam’s face fell instantly pale, and you saw how he sucked in a breath for a split second.
You peaked over his shoulder to see the guy standing in front of Liam, and you saw, hands down, the most intimidating man you had ever seen in your life.
In the most arousing way, for some strange reason.
The guy’s face flinched just a split second as well, and you didn’t got to read the looks in their eyes before Liam gave his full name to the man and rushed away, looking back at you and winking an eye before stepping into the parapet.
The weather outside had to be fucked up today, seems like your sister had done a really good job cursing that necklace.
“Name?” The intimidatingly hot guy asked, and you took your eyes away from the blond hair of Liam to set it on the guy’s onyx eyes.
Your eyes couldn’t help but drift to the tattoo peaking out of his shirt.
“Last chance to take a step back,” the dark-haired guy, the Marked One, said.
Through your mind crossed every passive aggressive word your sisters had said, the look of disappointment in your parents eyes when you told them you would not become a Healer. And then, before you could stop your mouth or think outside your pride:
“Y/N Y/L,” you replied, sucking in a breath.
The guy nodded slightly, and the other guy beside him wrote your name on the list he was trying to protect from the rain.
“Good luck,” you saw sincerity in his harsh onyx eyes, and with one last nervous, but thankful smile, you turned around from him.
You took a deep breath, braced yourself, and stepped onto the parapet.
You were so close, so so close, you could already see the end of the parapet, feel it, yet the wind was making those last steps harder than the whole way.
Liam’s blonde, wet hair was the first thing you noticed, then his encouraging smile, and then his hopeful eyes.
He stood near the entrance, as if…as if waiting for you.
When you arched your brows slightly, and he deepened his smile, you confirmed it; he was waiting for you.
“You did it, seems no curse is strong enough to stop you,” when you finally stepped into safety, his words were the first thing that greeted you.
With the inicial panic, and overall fear of the parapet finally over, after you gave your name to the girl with the beautiful red hair, you were able to take him in completely. And Holy Gods, your mouth went instantly dry at how gorgeous that man was.
His intense blue eyes, his white sideways smile, his ruffled and wet blond hair, his wide, big shoulders and muscular arms, his height…Gods he was tall. And…and that rebellion relic. You hadn’t seen it before, hadn’t noticed it at the beginning of his wrist and disappearing under his sleeve.
He noticed your eyes lingering on it, and his cocky demeanor immediately changed into an uncomfortable one. You hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable, it’s just that you had never interacted this much with Marked One, your parents had always told you Marked Ones were awful people, rude and brutal and violent and dangerous. But this guy had been the opposite to all those words they had used to describe him. It didn’t surprise you tho, that your parents had only been full of venom and no truth at all.
Then you started laughing, out of the blue. You just laughed out laud, making everyone around you turn to look at you as if you had grown another head. You may as well have, for how insane you were looking right now.
“I’m sorry,” you tried to say over your laugher. “I’m sorry, I just…I…” But you couldn’t stop laughing.
Liam raised an eyebrow in utter bafflement, but his lips slightly twitched upwards in amusement when you couldn’t help but put a hand on his chest to support your shaking body.
He laughed slightly with you then, your laughter being contagious, and both of you laughed with everyone around you starting to worry you had already lost your marbles.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…oh, my mother is going to have a heart attack,” you laughed, tears already streaming down your face. “And my sisters, good Gods, my sisters are gonna choke in their gasps!”
“Are you ok?” Liam asked with amusement, raising a blond eyebrow.
“I did it!” You beamed.
“You did,” he nodded.
“I did!”
You had survived the parapet, you had actually survived. And it felt so damned good.
“Here, I cleaned the bad vibes for you,” Liam took out your sister’s necklace and gave it to you.
You thanked him, and sighed while looking at the horrible thing.
“At least we’ll know how to recognize your body with this,” those had been your sister’s words, accompanied with faked sorrow and a quick hug.
You looked at Liam with a smile, and then turned around, walking again towards the edge of the end of the parapet and tossed the damned thing out.
“It can rot in hell, for all I care,” you said going back to Liam’s side, and sighing with deep relief.
Liam laughed, and you both made your way to where cadets were being gathered now.
Your new life started right here and right now, and you couldn’t have been more grateful than to start it with a mischievously handsome new friend.
“Ouch!” you complained as the healer cleaned your bloodied lip.
“Sorry,” the tiny guy apologized, and you sighed as he continued to clean one of your many wounds.
The mat had been brutal today, probably the most brutal you’ve had so far. Ivana Harlow was a ruthless, massively tall girl who had already killed two of her opponents on the mat, and today, she had almost kicked your ass back to your mother’s womb as well. Luckily for you, Liam had taught you just the right way to break someone’s leg, and even tho every inch of your body was in pain right now, at least your pride was intact.
“Where is she? Is she ok? Can you please let me see her?” A voice you had grown to know so well spoke behind the closed door of the treating room.
You tried to stand from the stretcher, but your body instantly protested in waves of intense pain that made you moan.
“Told you to stay still,” the healer warned you, and you huffed and ok.
The door flew open seconds later, and an extremely concerned looking Liam entered with panted breaths.
“Are you ok?” He sighed in partial relief when he saw you awake, and you tried to smile without a grimace to calm his worries down.
“I’m fine.”
“She’s not,” the healer answered, and you shot him a look that he ignored.
“She’s not?” Liam’s worry came back in a second.
“I am,” you said again, but he was now not paying attention to you but to the healer.
“She has a broken rib.”
“Nothing a mender can’t fix,” you tried to say to calm Liam a little, but his face had already gone pale.
“And a broken ankle.”
“Again, a mender.”
“And her stomach was one punch away from bleeding internally.”
“But it did not happen!”
“And-”
“And can you stop? Before he passes out,” you signaled Liam with your head, who looked so pale you started to worry he may replace you in this stretcher.
“I’ll leave you two,” the healer said, disposing of the bloodied cotton with which he had been cleaning the blood off your lip. “Don’t try to stand up,” he warned you with an accusatory finger, and you only nodded and murmured your thanks.
When it was only you and Liam in the treating room, you smiled at him.
“I’m fine, I am,” he sighed and rubbed his eyes, approaching you with a frown of worry in his beautiful face.
“When Ridoc went to look for me and told me Ivana had left you passed out I ran. I should’ve been there, I’m sorry,” you shook your head and went to grab his hands with yours.
“You had other things to do, besides, Ridoc’s an overly dramatic idiot, I didn’t pass out. Besides, you would’ve been proud, I broke that bitch’s leg after she broke my rib,” Liam finally laughed slightly, and you smiled at the sound.
“I am proud,” your smile turned into a slight blush, and he let go of one of your hands to take it to your cheek and softly, being extra careful not to touch the red spots that were already turning purple, rubbed sweet circles in it.
“Thank you, for what you taught me,” you said to fill that beating gap in your chest that was making it really hard to breath.
You’ve been lately feeling that way around Liam, specially since he’d been changed to the Flame Section, and you’ve stopped seeing each other as much since then. But every chance he got, he looked for you, and you were grateful he hadn’t yet forgotten about you.
But now every time you got together was even more special than the last one, every training session or glance across the dinning room or time together during class. It hadn’t been until you stoped having him next to you every time that you started noticing the effects of his absence. You missed him more than you thought you would, and you realized you probably liked him more than you thought you did.
It was complicated, he was your friend, and there were yet a lot of things he hid from you, you knew for the way he stoped himself while speaking sometimes or avoided certain topics.
“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N, you know I would do anything to…” Again, as he now usually did, he stoped himself.
“To what?”
He didn’t answer, only stared into your eyes with his deep blue ones. Every time he looked at you, you felt like you could drown in his ocean eyes and you wouldn’t mind one bit. But you couldn’t explain that, because he was your friend, and nothing else. Or at least he had never hinted he would be up to being something else at all, and you’d seen him flirt, a lot.
“Liam, to what?” You insisted a little more, and when he lowered his head, you released his hand and moved your head away from his other hand.
“To keep you safe, Y/N, I would to anything to keep you safe.”
You stared at him with an open mouth, not knowing exactly what to say, or think of his words. He looked so unlike him with his serious expression and tormented gaze, you couldn’t help but to grab his hand and squeeze it.
“I know,” you murmured in a low, much rasp voice you thought you had at the moment.
“You scared the shit out of me,” he got closer to you, drawing circles in the back of your hand with his thumb, and making your heart stupidly speed up.
“I know, I’m sorry,” he wasn’t looking up from your hands, but he got slowly closer to you until your legs instinctively parted to let him get between them.
“She could’ve killed you, she has already killed opponents,” his other hand went to cup your cheek again, and you felt how the air got trapped on your throat as his intense blue eyes met yours.
“But she didn’t.”
“You broke her leg,” he stroke your cheek delicately, and you couldn’t help but to close your eyes and lean into his sweet touch.
“I did,” you confirmed with a devilish grin, and Liam let out a shaky breath, like he was too having trouble breathing this close to you.
“Gods, Y/N, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
You arched your eyebrows in confusion and pursed your lips, unable to think with clarity at all.
“What? What am I doing now?”
Then Liam backed away from you, so far that you couldn’t reach him now. Suddenly you felt too cold, too unprotected of the harsh breeze that went between you two. You were absolutely confused and out of words, his eyes now didn’t let out a single feeling for you to try to read, and before you could get words out of your already opened mouth, he spoke.
“Get some rest, the mender should be here in no time,” and just like that, he was gone.
What the actual fuck. You asked yourself as you stared at the door with an astonished expression, and a disappointed, turned-down heart.
You were fine now, after a week of rest, the pain had completely disappeared, and your energy was back at the top as you excitedly tied the laces of your riding boots, getting ready to finally be able to go on a ride without the ultimate danger of your pain making it way too difficult to hold on. It had been Luainthr, your dragon, who suggested you didn’t step a foot on one of his scales before you fully recover. He had been worried for you, even if he wouldn’t straightforwardly say it.
The door of your bedroom sounded with three simple knocks, and so you strapped your last dagger on your boot before you stood up from your bed and walked towards the door.
Once open, Liam’s tall frame and beautiful eyes looked down to yours, and you abstained yourself from frowning as he took a deep, nervous breath.
You hadn’t seen him since that day in the treating room, when he had you left so abruptly with a knot on your heart and head.
“Liam, what-”
“I made you this,” he didn’t even let you finish speaking when he handed you a little wood-carved necklace.
You almost gasped at the beauty of the hand made magnolia.
Your favorite flower.
“Liam, this is…” You looked up at him with stars of gratitude shining in your eyes, making him smile as well. “Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. To replace the cursed one, I guess,” you couldn’t help but laugh while putting on the beautiful necklace.
Magnolias symbolized endurance and perseverance, both things you had clung onto so tightly since you got here. In one of your late night talks, you had told Liam about your love for magnolias, you hadn’t thought, tho, that he remembered up till now.
“Liam…” You said with a sigh, watching as his shoulders were tense and he sucked in a breath, there was something bothering him, you saw how his blue eyes mimicked a relentless ocean and knew immediately something was up with him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh, finally getting something he apparently really needed out of his chest. “For how I left the other day, and for not coming to visit you. I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“Why did you leave like that?” He looked away from you, only giving you more reasons to be curious. “Liam, what is it?”
“Because…” He blurted out, seeming to struggle with his words.
Watching Liam flustered like this was something you had never expected to see. He was overly confident, cocky. He flirted his way out and in of everything. He was the best cadet in your year, the best fighter, simply; the best. But here he was, at your door, all flustered and appearing to be a wreck of nerves.
“Because I had to leave you,” there was a certain pain in his eyes that made you feel a crush in your own heart.
“Why?” Your voice was more of a whisper than you anticipated.
“Because I didn’t wanted to kiss you when you were like that, and I desperately wanted to.”
The words struck late in your head, and your eyes widened as they finally did.
You saw it then, how he so desperately wanted to kiss you now too, but you hadn’t said it yet. That you wanted it just as bad.
So you grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and dragged him inside your room, closing your door with your boot before you pushed your lips to his.
His hands wrapped around your waist immediately as yours grabbed both sides of his face. And the most wild, desperate kiss you had ever given took all the rational thoughts completely out of your head.
“Fucking hell, Y/N,” he moaned in a rasp voice when you both needed some desperate air, nipping your lower lip and making you moan as well.
“Took you long enough,” your voice was just as shaky and out breath when you spoke.
Liam smiled in your mouth, and kissed you deeply again, once, twice, grabbing the back of your neck and tilting your head up, stroking gently but somewhat so possessively your jaw.
“It sure as hell did,” his low voice sent a shiver down your entire body, the sound reverberating in yours, causing heat to rush from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, curling them up, and building an insufferable pulse between your legs.
And he made sure to make up for all that time after that, bringing you to the depths of a pleasure you never thought possible before you had him worshiping every inch of your body.
202 notes · View notes
senseless-writing · 2 years
Text
Unprecedented Distractions
Pairing: Austin Butler x reader
Summary: Austin thought having Y/n with him would make the press interviews more bearable. It hadn’t occurred to him that having her there might lead to some new challenges. 
Warnings: Jealousy, a little bit of insecurity
A/N: So this didn’t turn out to be anything like the original request...I got a bit carried away. Sorry about that! If this isn’t what you wanted, feel free to let me know, and I can maybe try again, or you can bring it to another writer! I won’t take it personally at all :)
If you would like to be added to any of my tag lists (I’ve got a general tag list, along with specific ones for each fandom I’ve written for thus far), plz leave a comment or ask and let me know which one!
Masterlist
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Inviting Y/n to a day full of press was one of the most impulsive things Austin has ever done.
Honestly, even he was shocked when the words came tumbling from his lips. They were making dinner together the night before and talking about what their following day looked like. Y/n was so excited for her first day off in who knows how long, though she was bummed to be spending it alone. Austin couldn’t help but wish she wouldn’t have to.
Before he knew it, he was asking her to join him. After a pause, she agreed with a hesitant smile.
And a part of Austin felt bad. Felt bad that his girlfriend would spend her one day off standing on the sidelines, watching him be fawned over by stylists and asked questions about his “genius”. God, it was always so awkward to talk about himself in that way. But the embarrassment almost doubled when doing it in front of the person he loved.
Though he had to admit, waking up that morning and getting ready for work together was somewhat of a dream. And Austin had never felt better about an outfit his stylist picked out for him, not when he saw Y/n’s reaction to it.
While driving to his first interview, she’d pulled him down to her level and whispered something about taking it off him when they got home, and Austin was overwhelmed by the feeling that he’d made the right decision. Even if it meant his white button down had suddenly become unbearably tight over his flushed skin.
That led them to where they were now. With him speaking to someone about the movie he loved, pretending there wasn’t a camera recording them, and trying more than anything to act like his attention wasn’t pulled to the woman standing behind it.
“Did you have any special ways of getting into character on set? Rituals, or something like that?”
“I think a part of me was always in character during that time, especially when it came to his voice,” Austin began, his head turning slightly as he thought over the rest of his answer. Without meaning to, his eyes raced towards Y/n. He wasn’t quite sure what he was looking for. Reassurance, maybe. Or perhaps someone to laugh with, as she was the only someone who personally knew the experiences he was now describing. It’s possible that he just wanted to look at her. Either way, the reason didn’t matter.
Because she wasn’t looking at him.
She was happy, though. Smiling, laughing even. But not at him. At some guy. Austin had to remind himself that he still had an interview to get through, and his pause in between answers was becoming uncomfortable.
He coughed, pretended there was a bubble in his throat, and continued. “It was more method than I’ve ever gone before. But other than that, you know…”
The situation drew his attention against his will. He didn’t want to look; he wanted to focus on the question at hand. But all he could think about was the quiet conversation going on across the room.
The little space they were in was small, but full of people. All there for a reason, all doing a job. They were sure to stay quiet, though, if talking at all.
Apparently, this guy's only job is keeping my girlfriend company.
Austin couldn't even tell what they were saying. That was the worst part. What could he possibly be saying that made her look at him like that?
“...it was just listening to his music and reminding myself of the research I’d done to really get into that mindset. No different from any other character, really…”
Y/n was blushing now, with that smile that he knew to be the one where she’d received a compliment she thought she didn’t deserve. What the hell was going on?
“...but at a much more intense level. The hair and makeup chair was a great place for me to do that, so I could sort of mentally and physically prepare at the same time.”
If the interviewer noticed his distracted and distressed state, she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she gave Austin a small smile and said “All that research must have taken a lot of time. Did it feel like you had to put your life on hold to accomplish such a role?”
That caught him off guard. It wasn’t an overly original question, but suddenly Austin understood why seeing Y/n laughing with another man made him so upset. Not because he was a jealous person, but because he was perceptive.
He knew what made a good boyfriend, and he knew what made a bad one. Y/n’s support never wavered throughout the chaos that his job brought them, but he wasn’t naive. It couldn’t have been easy for her to carry their relationship on her back whenever he was too busy to help with the load.
So maybe he was jealous after all. But it was his own doing, and that’s what made him angrier than anything else.
He hadn’t realized he was staring until the room was blanketed in an awkward quiet. Y/n’s eyes met his, somewhat confused, and he couldn’t find the strength to look away. Not even with a camera recording him.
“Austin?” the sound-man called out behind the camera. “We’re actually having some problems with the audio right now that might take a couple minutes to reset. If it doesn’t mess with your schedule too much, would you mind if we take a break?”
Austin wasn’t sure if that was the truth, or if this guy was just throwing him a bone. It didn’t matter too much to him, though, he agreed all the same. As the woman in charge of his schedule scurried off to figure out how much this would throw their day, he was already motioning for Y/n to come over.
He watched her say goodbye and tried to control his glare. Y/n bounded over to him without a care in the world. Right before she crossed the threshold to his chair, however, he motioned for her to stop.
“You’re not rolling, right?” He addressed the interviewer. Louise something, though he couldn’t presently be certain. She was already up and out of her chair, probably to talk to their producer. “I don’t want her on camera.”
Louise gave him a gentle smile. Everyone on set knew of Austin's not-so-secret girlfriend. “Don’t worry, we won’t roll again until everyone’s ready.”
Y/n didn’t wait for another invitation. In five seconds flat, she was settled comfortably on her boyfriend's lap. The folding chair creaked under their weight, and Austin held her tight to him with one hand across her lap and another around her waist.
“What happened?” she questioned with a hand gripping his arm. She pulled his grasp to be tighter around her, and Austin would’ve laughed if he wasn’t still stuck in his head. “It was going fine one minute, and then not the next.”
Austin tucked his nose in her neck and sighed. “Something with the sound, I guess. They’re fixing it now.”
“No, I meant with you. You looked confused or something.”
“You noticed?”
She laughed, moved her hand to run it through his curls, and paused. His stylist would surely have a thing or two to say about her ruined work. Instead, she settled on fiddling with the hair at the base of his neck.
“Austin, you’re the movie star. Everyone in this room is here to look at you. I think you’re the only one who doesn’t have to worry about not having all the attention.”
“I didn’t have yours.”
Austin felt stupid after he said it. Like a petulant child. But it was too late to take it back.
“What?” she laughed again, though this time it was more of a confused chuckle than anything else. Her eyes cast back to the man from before, and she could feel Austin’s fingers dig into her hip as she did. She looked back at her boyfriend in shock. “Are you jealous?”
“No,” he scoffed, refusing to meet her confused expression. His grip on her begged to differ.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe you. Do you know how many girls are thirsting over you on the internet right now? Or the ones waiting outside this building, hoping to catch a glimpse of you on your way out?”
“They aren’t-”
“They aren’t anything more than fans to you, I know, but that isn’t the point. How is it that I can handle all of that, but you can’t handle me talking to another man for five minutes?”
“You weren’t talking,” he said very matter of factly. “You were laughing.”
“Yeah, well, I’m laughing now too. At you!”
“It’s not funny,” Austin bit his lip to stop from whining.
“It is! It’s funny that you think this guy, who’s here to help you promote your new role as Elvis Presley in the Elvis Presley biopic, would try and steal your girlfriend out from under you. Can you admit how funny that sounds?”
He looked at her, then. Brushed the hair from her eyes, which were glittering with amusement. She still didn’t get it. “Baby, who I am or what I do doesn’t matter if I’m never around to be here with you.”
“So this is about work again?”
Austin was always apologizing when things didn’t go as planned. “I’m sorry baby, Baz called, but I’ll make it up to you,” “This is the last time, I promise.” And it never was, but Y/n didn’t mind. There was a difference between carelessly canceling a date and rescheduling it due to responsibility. She knew that. But apparently, Austin didn’t.
“I just,” Austin struggled to explain. “I just wish things would go back to how they used to be, when everything was calm. It was easier then, even if it wasn’t exactly normal. It was our normal.”
“Aus, your career is taking off. Everyone is finally recognizing how talented you are, it’s your dream come true. That’s not something to wish away. I want you to enjoy it and not feel guilty. I was here before, and I’ll be here afterwards. You never have to worry about that.”
It suddenly felt stupid to have ever doubted her in the first place. Not that Austin ever questioned her loyalty, but rather his ability to give her a reason to be loyal. Although her speech hadn’t completely eased the part of his mind that always wandered back to her, it was a relief to hear the words.
He’d have to try to believe them more often.
“Do you wanna know what we were talking about?” she asked him when he didn’t respond.
Austin’s eyebrow raised. “Would that ease my mind?”
“I think so.”
So he nodded, and a mischievous glint took over her expression.
“Well, if you must know, Brian over there seems to think I’d make one hell of a model.”
Her boyfriend immediately scowled. “That doesn’t make me feel any better, Y/n. Not in the slightest.”
“No, not in a flirtatious way! He’s a photographer.”
“Oh,” he paused for a moment. “Is that something you’d be interested in?”
Y/n rested her head against his own. “I don’t know, maybe. You take pictures of me all the time, this wouldn’t be much different from that.”
That part was true. Austin loved his new camera. Developing film took time, and he enjoyed that, but it made him more aware of what he took pictures of. His most favorite subject was her.
But he was still tentative. “People would see them, baby…you’d be in the public eye.”
“Yeah, that’s the turn off. I don’t think that’s something I want. It was a nice conversation, though.”
She was fiddling with the rings on his hand that rested on her stomach. He rubbed up and down in soothing circles. “I’d support you no matter what, though, you know that right? If you wanted to model, we’d make it work. Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”
“I haven’t really decided yet,” she smiled down at him. “But I know.”
“Austin?” the producer called out, breaking them from the bubble they’d created. He had a sheepish smile on his face. “We’re ready to get back to shooting whenever you are.”
“That’s my cue,” she laughed, shimming off his lap despite his protesting groan. “Break a leg.”
Before she could get more than a step away, a demanding grip on her arm yanked her back. At once, Austin spun her around and pulled her down to a bruising kiss. Tongue and all, his lips were hot against her own. She was too consumed by the passion of it all to think about why he was doing it in the first place. 
PDA wasn’t something they were into, especially when Austin’s new movie made it difficult to be in a public relationship at all. A small kiss, gentle hugs and hand-holds, sure. But not this.
They only broke away when Y/n was absolutely certain she had no oxygen left. With a gasp, she blushed and narrowed her eyes at him. “Seriously? You just had to put on a show?”
Austin didn’t say anything, but his smirk spoke volumes. With nothing but a wink, he sent her on her way, feeling surer of himself than he had just moments before. Sure, there were guys out there who could give Y/n the quality time she deserved. But there was nobody on this Earth who could have her flustered like that from nothing but a single kiss.
That was all for him.
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stargirlfeyre · 3 months
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CC3 Spoilers!!!
“If Feyre had given away the mask no one would care this much”
“You expect me to believe that Feyre wouldn’t have done the same thing as Nesta”
Yes I do expect you to believe that because it’s the truth. Let’s put our thinking caps on for a second. Let me just start off by saying that Feyre is a family first person and she always has been. On top of that she is now a mother. When has she ever acted so recklessly and done something as severe as Nesta did while knowing that there is a very high chance that it could backfire on her family? Do you truly believe that she would have done something that could have backfired onto Nyx?
Do you truly think her sympathy for a random girl would have overridden her protectiveness for her newborn? Feyre would have damned Bryce’s world 10 times over than put Nyx in danger. We have to stop trying to deflect and be real with ourselves. Feyre loves helping people this is true, but if she were put in the same position that Nesta was and the choice was the safety of her son or the safety of a world that had nothing to do with her who do you think she would choose? We know how protective Fae are over their children and we know how much Feyre loved Nyx before he was even born. She would not have just made the rash decision to give the mask to Bryce. She would have either went with her and ensured the mask made it back to Prythian safely or she would have consulted other people about it first.
I’m seeing all these posts about how if “xyz character did it no one would be upset” but the fact of the matter is they didn’t do it. Nesta did. Nesta made the decision that put everyone (including her nephew) in danger. She made the decision to give a dread trove to someone who had already stolen from them. Y’all trying to take the focus off of her and put in onto other characters will never change that it was Nesta who fucked up and it is Nesta who is now facing the consequences of that fuck up. Her stupidity helped Bryce but it solidified for the IC why there will always be doubt when it comes to trusting her.
And the most fucked up thing about this is they actually did trust her in the beginning. They trusted her to handle Bryce and she proved them wrong. Not Feyre, not Rhys, not any other character that you want to deflect on. Her.
And also it’s funny how people say that if Feyre had given away the mask no one would care this much as if y’all aren’t the same people who love to get on her for being “immature and impulsive”. If Feyre had given away the mask y’all wouldn’t see this as a “pure act of sympathy” but because Nesta did it, it proves that she’s the epitome of goodness.
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chimcess · 6 months
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→ Chapter Seven: Growing Pains Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 11.6k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the south and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Bridd, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the newest Bridd, a young girl who was given her position too early. Now a woman, Y/N is revered amongst the wolves as the most powerful witch they have ever known, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: ANGST BB, hurt, argument, sexism, I love/hate Bo, strong language, crying, PTSD, Impulsive decisions, I love Taehyung so much, he is my sweet baby angel, we need better communication skills, mentions of a toxic relationship (not reader and Jimin), Anger issues, mental illness, long hair Jimin for the win, emotional turmoil, conflicting feelings, emotional whiplash, talks of possible character death, let me know if I missed anything A/N: Not me surprising dropping. This was such a difficult chapter to write. I enjoy angst and everything, and this was meant to be the catalyst to the adventure we need to take, but that doesn't mean I like causing pain. Hope you guys like it!
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Bo and I stared at one another. Her jaw was clenched, and I could feel how tense my eyebrows were. We had been in this room for over an hour already and her stupid training was going nowhere. I did not want to learn how to talk to my husband properly. He enjoyed how I was already.
“Why are you making this so difficult?” She spat.
“Because I can,” I taunted. 
Her mouth twitched and I waited for her to finally snap. I would like a good fight to get all of my pent up frustration out. Instead, she took another deep breath and told me to point out the proper soup spoon. 
“This is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life,” I mumbled and pointed at the smallest one in the set.
“And you’re the dumbest thing that’s come into mine,” She bit back.
“This is really unnecessary, Bo,” Sol sighed from beside me. “Y/N has better things to do than sit here and look at silverware. None of us even use these anymore.”
I looked at her and hoped she could see how grateful I was she was sitting here with me. When Bo showed up at Jimin’s house this morning, the Luna had followed behind her every step of the way hoping we could put the traditional nonsense behind us. I did not see the point in following their customs more than I already did and Sol herself said no one really cares about certain formalities anymore. Jimin seemed sad to watch me go but more pleased than he let on. Sol said these preparations were meant for our wedding and it made him happy to think about. That was the only reason I was still sitting here.
“I’m sure Oxur Park knows how much Alpha Park loves a woman with knowledge,” The wolf gave me a satisfied smirk. “Unless you’ve decided to take that from him, too.”
Bo had made it her mission to get me out of their palace. Believing I had somehow tricked Jimin into loving me, the wolf had no issue calling our bond into question. Apparently, her outdated beliefs ran much deeper than I had originally thought. Either way, she was beginning to make my life all the more difficult. I had enough going on as it was.
“You are the most infuriating woman I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.”
“And you are the sneakiest little weasel I have ever laid eyes on,” Bo hissed.
“You’re both acting like children,” Sol laughed. “Bo, can’t we go now? I promised my husband alone time with his friend.”
With a satisfied smirk, I leaned back in my chair. Bo was not happy with the girl, but Taehyung’s wishes overruled her own. The perks of being the pack alpha, I guess. I did not wait for Bo’s response before standing up. Sol followed me.
“I expect you in your own room tonight, child.”
I did not respond. Sol giggled and grabbed hold of my arm as we left the palace library. If I had come here on my own, I might have admired the massive shelves and the beautiful wood they were made from, but Bo’s presence ruined whatever joy I might have gotten. She was such a pain to deal with. Knowing my foul mood, Sol began babbling about her and Taehyung’s wedding for the third time today.
“Oh, I wish you could have been there,” She pouted. “Taehyung wanted to wait for you to wake up, but all of us decided it would be in his best interest to hurry along. I hope you’re not upset with us.”
That worked and I cracked a smile.
“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not upset about it.”
Leaning into my side, the younger girl sighed happily. She always got like this when she spoke of Taehyung. He was akin to God in her eyes now and it was a funny sight to see. She was always so stuck up and stressed when I had known her that this new version of her was strange to see. She laughed and joked with others in a way I had never seen before. Taehyung was the perfect match for the Luna, and I was pleased with how happy they both were despite everything going on.
“You’ll have to forgive Ha-Joon,” Sol waved at a small group of maids. “She’s just always pictured her daughter with Jimin, and her death has brought out the worst in her. Don’t take it too personally, okay?”
“Easy for you to say,” I murmured, “She doesn’t hate you.”
The group of maids stopped to bow. I returned the gesture, but Sol did not. She was never raised to respect her help. Tossing a small smile at the women, my eyes caught a familiar face and warmed. Koda grinned happily back at me.
“Oh!” Sol exclaimed suddenly. “Isn’t this the most coincidental situation?”
Stepping away from my side, the wolf gestured to the group. None of them make eye contact with the Luna. None of them even looked at her face. I could not understand how no one thought this was strange behavior, but it was the status quo. Hopefully I could speak with Taehyung about it. I do not think he would approve of this behavior at all.
“I was speaking with Elder Kim, and we decided that you need a servant,” Sol announced. “This group should do. See anyone you like in particular?”
She was completely serious. Not a shred of doubt or shame was written on her face. Sol was raised with this nonchalant way of ordering others around and it was disturbing to see in action. I would definitely speak to Taehyung. However, I could not deny the perks I saw. Looking at Koda, I knew I would be able to keep her safe as long as I kept her by my side. Giving the women a sympathetic look, I turned to Sol with a mask of indifference.
“If you think it’s necessary,” She smiled brightly. “Koda,” I looked at the older woman, “would you like to help me while I stay here?”
The woman walked to the front of the group. The other maids made space and suddenly none of them looked at me either. It was a horrible feeling and I wondered what they thought of me now. Wanting to make my intentions clear, I kept talking.
“Also, Sol,” I looked at my friend, “I don’t like the word 'servant'.’ Can we use something less… harsh? Like ‘companion?’ I don’t plan on staying here for very long so it just seems too,” I moved my hands and tried to find the softest explanation I could think of, “permanent.”
I was choosing my words carefully. Sol has never had her views challenged much and these women had been at her beck and call her entire life, so it was only natural she thought of them a particular way. I wanted to change her mind, but it would have to start with something small. The other maids seemed to relax, and their eyes wandered freely once more. I never wanted them to feel inferior to me.
“Hmm,” She cupped her chin, “I’ve never thought of that before. I like it.”
Turning her gaze to Koda, she grinned, “You will spend every moment at Oxur Park’s side. Under no circumstances will you leave her, understand?”
“Yes, Luna,” She bowed deeply. “Will I sleep in her chambers?”
“No!” I exclaimed. Flushing, I rubbed the back of my neck and bowed my head. “That won’t be necessary. I will be with Alpha Park during the night.”
Sol laughed heartily, “You’re just breaking all of the rules, aren’t you?”
I awkwardly joined her, “Might as well give her a reason for her dislike, don’t you think?”
Sol immediately dismissed the maids, Koda included, so we could continue our walk. Koda would be joining me tonight for my bath. I cringed at the thought and started to think of ways to talk to her about what I was expecting, or rather, not expecting her to do. I could do everything I needed on my own and had for many years of my life. I saw no need for someone else to bathe, dress, or tuck me in at night. Jimin would be the exception, but he was my partner and had seen me more intimately than others.
Sol continued to talk my ears off as we walked through the palace. I was still unnerved by how easily she commanded her maids. It was creepy. I could not picture Taehyung feeling comfortable by their pampering either, but would he ever say something that would offend his wife? It was difficult to say. 
I knew the other alphas had lived in the palace at points in their lives, and from what I had heard, Namjoon was still here full time. Unmated alphas were meant to stay in the palace until they were mated so they could be trained into leaders. Scowling, I thought of Ahn and his thick, white beard and how little help he was to everyone. No one ever spoke of him or his teachings, and Sol did not even seem bothered by her father-figure’s death. It gave me a sick sort of pleasure knowing that no one, possibly not even Bo, thought of him in a good light.
The repairs to the palace were the first to be completed. The elves had focused primarily on the civilian areas, and since the palace was the only place made of stone, the flames that ate away at the wooden homes in the main parts of the village. We had been seeing a great deal of progress in only four days, but there was still much to do. The town’s market was nowhere in sight, and they had only just gotten their water system back up.
“What does Taehyung want to talk about?” I asked. 
Sol had started a childhood story involving Ahn that I had no desire to hear.
“I’m not sure exactly,” She admitted, “He said he was hoping you two could go for a walk and catch up. It’s been a while since you’ve been alone.”
I nodded and pretended to listen as she jumped into another childhood story. Sol was a rather clumsy child. Looking at the dark stone, I felt my resentment growing. No one except for Taehyung had left to help the others. Not Kim nor Bo left their comfortable confines to help their community and yet they had time to talk about my manners and which servant I would get? It all seemed ridiculous to me. Even Sol herself was still living in la-la-land within these walls. Had she even seen what was done?
“You must promise to be our first child’s matrina,” Sol was talking about children. Again. Her unusual sense of pessimism was beginning to agitate me. “You are the only person I can think of I would trust with that honor. 
“Of course, Jungkook will have to be the patrinus, but I don’t think it will bother Jimin too much. He’s far too much like a brother to ask anybody else. Maybe for our second child? Taehyung would be overjoyed if you were both involved.”
I gritted my teeth and simply nodded along with her stories. Yes, a conversation with Taehyung was a must. Maybe he could make her see reason, or at least show concern for everyone else. At meetings she lounged on him like a cat and never paid attention when they spoke about serious matters. It was like her head was permanently up in the clouds. Had she always been so careless when it came down to things, or was this a new development since she joined Taehyung? I would never know the true extent of the answer, but I had to believe this was new. Sol was too serious before to let this kind of behavior out.
The large, cathedral windows let in the bright sun, but it was still so cold and dark in here. The maids had yet to fix the lighting fixtures inside yet, but even the candles they had lit did nothing to help. Our steps had a faint echo to them, and it made the lifelessness of the palace worse. I felt Sol’s hair brushing against my arm as she made herself comfortable at my side and had to stop myself from moving it out of my way. It was tickling my skin uncomfortably.
Sol let her hair out in the palace unlike any place else. The long, thick, black waves cascading down her back effortlessly, but I knew better now. Someone had spent a great deal of time and care perfecting the way it felt and twisted. Around her neck was the material she used to cover her hair and she would put it on if another man showed up here. It was something Ahn had made her do that made no sense to me either, but Sol was happy about it, so I never thought about it much.
“Koda is a wonderful woman,” Sol suddenly gushed, catching my attention. “You’ll like her very, very much.”
“What makes you say that?” I questioned, feigning disinterest.
“Well,” She started, “She was once a warrior before her sister died. She stopped shifting soon after that and moved into the palace so she could have a place to stay. Her sister’s husband kept their house and Koda was too uncomfortable to live there with him alone.
“Oh! I know she’s from out of town, so you can share many stories about that as well. The people from Viridi Gramine always have the most interesting lives. Take Hyuna for example, she’s the princess of her people and yet gave it all up for a life here with Hoseok. Isn’t it romantic?”
I stopped listening to her once again. It was useful information, and my interest only grew for the older woman. If she was from the Foxglove’s cousin pack that meant she would know a route through the Ozryn mountains. Hiding my revelation, I subtly picked up my pace. The sooner I got this meeting over with, the sooner I could find Cadoc. 
“She will be a wonderful companion for you to have,” Sol teased, placing extra emphasis on the chosen word. “I think I’ll start using that one as well. Servant does sound too harsh.”
I smirked in amusement. It was difficult to dislike Sol, especially when it seemed like she was having the most fun she had ever had. I imagined living with someone like Ahn was challenging. Still, her innocence and naivety were so odd when compared to her position in the pack. She was treated like glass that could shatter at any moment while held up as if she were a queen.
We descended down the large staircase in a companionable silence. That was rare for Sol, but I was sure as soon as our feet touched the first floor, she would start her rambling once more. It seemed like luck was on my side, however. Taehyung stood waiting for us, his eyes never leaving Sol’s little body. His happiness was enough to let go of my discomfort for Sol. She would learn in time, and Taehyung would be there to guide her. I would just steer him in the right direction. 
The clothes he wore were much nicer than anything I had ever owned. Navy blue silk contrasted beautifully with his tanned skin while the nearly black pants he wore extended his legs. He wore a pair of simple black boots and a matching belt. It was nice to see him so clean and dressed up. Soon we would not have those luxuries.
“Thanks for bringing her, mi conjunx.”
Sol bit her lip and looked down, “Of course, mi coniunx.”
“Bridd,” Taehyung smiled at me, breaking whatever spell he had been under, “May I take you for a small walk alone? I have something I need to discuss with you.”
“That’s why I’m here,” I squeezed Sol’s shoulder and walked down the last few stairs that separated us. 
It looked like Taehyung was physically pained to leave Sol’s side, but he showed as much restraint as possible. I heard her feet pitter-pattering back up the steps and Taehyung’s shoulders relaxed. They had spoken and it was still a mystery to me how it worked. I would have to ask Jimin about it later.
We stayed silent until we were out of the palace and walking out of Foxglove entirely. He wanted privacy today, so I waited until he was ready to speak to begin my questioning.
“How are you holding up?” Taehyung asked once we were well hidden within the trees.
I sighed. Cordelia’s passing had affected all of us, and Taehyung was beside himself with grief. He had hardly known her, but he was fond of everyone he met at my cottage. I confided in him about finding her body this morning. He stole me away for a few moments to ask my advice on his plans to invite the witches to stay in the palace, and the sea witch was brought up in conversation. I could tell he would make it a point to ask me about my emotional state whenever he got me alone.
“The etiquette classes have me thoroughly distracted,” I replied sadly. 
“And everyone else?”
“About as well as I am,” I muttered. “Wendy is in bad shape, but Seokjin is holding her close. I think they’re back in their confusing situationship again, which saddens me, but I understand. I can only hope it will be different this time.”
In truth, I had little hope. While Wendy may have decided she would choose Seokjin over Yoongi, I was also sure this budding relationship would fizzle out rather quickly. Wendy was once again latching onto the sun witch in a desperate attempt to make herself feel better, and like always, Seokjin would walk through fire to make her smile. I paid close attention to their dynamics, and it was reminiscent of old times. It was not lost on me, her lingering stare at Yoongi’s disabled figure laying on the floor near the fireplace during my short visit yesterday, and it made the pit in my stomach only grow.
Old habits die hard, and Wendy Byrd was too much of a daydreamer to put anything to rest. It made me uncomfortable to witness the same cycle play out once more. It sickened me to know the only reason she was not seeking out Yoongi was the fact that he was getting used to his new reality. One where he could no longer see. Seokjin was as hopelessly hopeful as always and put up those blinders once more. Life in pink so long as Wendy held him close. The front he had put up in my cottage so long ago was forgotten.
“They need to figure it out by themselves,” Taehyung replied. He was always telling me things I knew but I appreciated the sentiment. “I am curious about this sudden need to leave Bangtan.”
As always, Taehyung knew more than he led on. I did not know how he knew of my plans before I spoke to anybody else about them, but I was less surprised than I should have been. Cadoc and I had been completely alone in the forest that night, but if Taehyung was awake when we got back to the palace, he could have easily gotten an earful of whatever we were speaking about. I had learned during our time at my cottage that Taehyung’s sense of hearing was stronger than the other’s while Jimin’s smell and eyesight were almost double of what they should be.
“I should be far more surprised than I am,” I admitted. “You’re always such a nosey little minx, aren’t you?”
Taehyung chuckled with a nod. Nothing got past those eyes. I pondered over what to say to him. He always had a way of taking me by surprise and I knew Cadoc would not be upset with my slip of the tongue. No one would, actually. Looking at my friend, I reminded myself that he was my friend before he was the Alpha everyone else needed him to be. A man who loved to read my mythology books and ask questions about the forest creatures would never dare ask me to stay behind when there were adventures to be seen. I was also aware that he would be afraid of my loyalty. 
Cadoc had said I was becoming blinded by it. Loyal to a fault. Jimin and I were still at odds about my trip, but he had become resigned. We both needed for this to happen. For the sake of our friends and family I needed to try. I had failed once already, and I could not fail again.
“Are you going to talk to me about your secrets now?”
“I’m not staying in Bangtan for much longer,” I whispered, knowing he would be able to hear me just fine. “I have a different task. Something important.”
“I had guessed as much,” He laughed, an easy smile on his face. “Jimin is far too distracted, and the Quietus keep whispering to each other,” He stopped walking and turned towards me. “So, Bridd, where are you going?”
Biting my lip, I hesitated. How angry would he be if I told the truth? Angry was a strong word, I conceded. Taehyung was never angry, but I did not think he would be pleased. I was blatantly placing my own life in danger and lying to my mate about it. It was almost enough to make me rethink my choices.
“I need to find someone,” I said, bracing myself for the disappointment that was sure to make itself known soon. “When I died, I saw my aunt in the spirit realm, and she told me that I had to seek out an elemental called Naida.”
Taehyung frowned at me, his concern evident, but not so much so. He was not disappointed, but I could see fear. I could live with that. I was also afraid for my own life, but dwelling on those thoughts would get me nowhere. I had a mission to complete, and I would not be late this time. I would win. I had to. For my own sanity I would go.
“Is Jimin aware of this?”
I shook my head, “Nothing specific. He knows my plan to leave, but with everything so fresh and new I don’t want to worry him needlessly.”
“You are planning on telling him,” He pushed, “Right?”
I nodded, “The plan is to leave at sunset tomorrow. I’ll have more coverage at night just in case there are elf camps in the forest.”
I thought about the elf camp Jimin stalked that first night and shuttered. There were so many of them out there who had not come into the village. It was baffling to me why they would hesitate in their fighting only to move on so quickly. It gave the wolves too much time to plan and strategize and I knew they were not foolish enough to think they had better odds now. The wolves were on guard. The only thing that made sense were allies hiding in our ranks. Allies who were telling them our every move.
“Tell me something,” I dropped my voice even lower. “If I promise you that I will come back with help, will you keep the truth from the others?”
Stopping in his tracks, Taehyung stared at me. Jimin said the two of them had been speaking of a possible traitor and I would hope my friend would understand my perspective. My loyalty to the both of them was all consuming, my love was my life, and I would do whatever it takes to help them. Even if it meant lying to the man I loved more than life itself.
“I can’t keep something like this from him, Y/N,” Taehyung sighed. “You are my friend, but so is Jimin, and you cannot ask me to pick one over the other.”
“Even with the spy?” I challenged.
He looked through me then, his eyes burning a hole into my face searching for something. I don’t think I would ever know what Taehyung saw in me that day, but whatever it was it gave him pause. I had never felt just how strong or large Taehyung was until that moment. His frame towered over mine, his legs long and lanky, and his face impassive. That impenetrable wall that I found so disconcerting.
“Even then,” He smiled at me. “I would never risk your life or Jimin’s friendship. Even if you begged me to keep quiet, I would let him know the moment you were out of my sight.”
And I could not stop my returning grin. This was what I loved most about the boy, his endless love and compassion for others. He played tricks, told jokes, and made my head hurt from his never ending questions, but he also adored me in ways I had never been before. He adored my brain, my thoughts, and my courage. 
A memory of us in the cottage came back to me then. The sun had just come up and I had just gotten home. My training with Thelma had been brutal that night and I had hardly done anything, and my emotions were growing, expanding, and becoming harder to manage. Jimin was still asleep, his pale skin beautiful in the sun, and I did not want to disturb his peace.
When I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, I found Taehyung already up and a book in his lap. We had our typical small talk, a morning just like any other, but once I sat down at the dining table, I found him just watching me. The book was long gone, his face hard, and his eyes observing me. Those eyes that took in everything they possibly could. I wondered then if he knew what I was doing, where I was going, and why. Instead of answering those questions, Taehyung pushed his growing hair out of his eyes and beamed at me.
“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how thankful I am that you’re letting me stay here,” He said.
Tired and worn, I brushed him off like I always had. I was never the one for compliments and did not know what to say, especially with my guilt eating me alive. Taehyung ignored whatever poor attempts I had made to make him stop talking.
“Thank you,” He bowed his head. “I will never forget your kindness or strength. Hell, even your anger! You’re the first person I’d ever seen make Namjoon lose his cool.”
I ignored him and sipped on my tea. I don’t even think I looked at him again. I drank my tea, listened, and hoped Jimin would not wake up. I wanted to sleep in his arms for a while. It made the nightmares more bearable.
“I know you don’t really like this kind of thing,” Taehyung continued to babble. “I know you’re uncomfortable because of the way your hands tremble and your breathing changes. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you deserve my praise, but I want to give it to you anyway.”
“Why?” I rasped, looking out of the large window beside me.
It was the same window a white wolf had come to and asked for help.
“Because you’re hurting right now, and I want you to know it’ll be okay. No matter what happens you will always be my friend, and Jimin will always love you.”
Looking around me now, it was difficult to imagine a more beautiful sight. It had been so long since I last saw the trees in the sun, and it took my breath away. The heat and warmth were never far away but still felt foreign on my skin. It was still as quiet as a mouse out here, but I basked in its beauty regardless. Taehyung’s teeth were blinding, and I needed to squint.
“We’ll always be friends, right?” I asked.
He held up a pinky, “Always.”
I wrapped my finger around his and sighed.
Diving into the story once again, I told Taehyung why I had been distraught during those last few weeks. His reaction, much like the rest of him, was completely different from both Cadoc and Jimin’s. Even the witches had nothing on Taehyung, because as soon as I was finished, Taehyung hugged me and told me he loved me.
“What?” I choked.
“You were so afraid,” He patted the top of my head and pulled away. “You worked so hard for my family and friends. Thank you.”
“But-but,” I spluttered, “I messed up. I didn’t say anything. I got all of those poor people killed. My own friend-”
“But you tried so hard,” Taehyung soothed. “You wore yourself out learning those spells, you spent every single night trying to get better, and kept it all bottled up. How could I be mad at you for that?”
“Because I let you down,” I muttered. “I let everyone down.”
“No, you didn’t,” He chuckled. “When it counted you were there. You killed yourself, quite literally, mind you, for all of us without knowing it would work. You fought by our sides and gave up a life in the spirit world. You gave up your best friend.”
Bringing Shiloh up tugged on my heart strings. I missed her so much. I knew I would see her again someday, but I hoped she got her wish in the end. She deserved to be beautiful and dance in the sunlight like she always wanted. Sword fights and cooking were two things she dreamed of, and I knew she would be amazing at both if given the chance. I could only hope her hair would be as brightly colored as she imagined even when her human mind forgot all about our adventures. She would even forget about me. 
“And after it all you’re still you.”
Looking up at Taehyung, another facet of his personality made itself known to me. On top of his naive, golden-hearted mischief, Taehyung was also a wiseman. Aldara had spoken of his grandmother before, and I could see that that trait was passed onto her eldest grandchild. 
“But I still did a bad thing,” I whispered, my voice thick. “And I want to make sure I do everything I can possibly do to make this easier on us. I need all of you to live, Tae. I couldn’t bare it if anyone else died.”
“And we need you to live, too, Bridd,” He replied gently.
I said nothing. I knew that was the truth, but we obviously had different ideas about what was important. My own life meant very little to me after the fight with the elf. Hell, my life had meant little to me the night I found the cottage on fire, but I understood where Taehyung was coming from. I was his friend and he wanted to make sure I was alright. Thinking of Jimin, I knew my life meant even more to him. Still, I held onto my own ideas and that included keeping all of them as far away from harm’s way as possible.
He smiled sadly, “Who are you bringing?”
I sighed, “I haven’t made a decision yet. I don’t want to place anybody at risk or leave you unprotected in case I don’t make it back in time,” I did not voice my concerns for not returning at all. “Cadoc thinks Samanya should be with me, but she’s so fierce I’d rather be here to watch over Jimin.”
“Koda is a wonderful option,” Taehyung suggested after a beat. “She was a warrior in Viridi Gramine and served with the copiae for many years. She would be helpful for getting you to Ozryn and the Quietus would be extra security.”
I could not say the plan was bad, it was far too good, but that was the problem. Koda was an older woman now who could no longer change as far as I knew. She would be slow, and I would have to work twice as hard keeping her out of harm's way. I would have better luck going alone with Sam and finding our own way. 
“Then again,” The alpha sucked his teeth, “Koda is rather old. Perhaps Jungkook? No, he’s a boy and too childish.”
The ‘prince’ as Ahn dubbed him was always ready for a fight and light on his feet. He reminded me of Taehyung and Hoseok wrapped up into one young man, but I had my doubts on his ability to follow instructions. Anytime I had seen Jungkook he was either in trouble or on his way into it. So, for my own sanity in the coming weeks, I would agree with Taehyung.
“What about Hoseok?” Taehyung snapped his fingers. “Oh! He would be a perfect choice.”
I nodded along with him knowing I would never ask the alpha to come with me. He and Hyuna were a package deal and that was too many to take along. If I was taking Samanya then I would only bring one other, and I doubted his mate would allow him to go regardless. He almost died a few days ago and was still on bed rest at their home. 
“It’s too bad he’s resting,” I threw out knowing it would rule him out entirely. “I should just take Samanya and the two of us can figure it out together.”
“There’s always Namjoon.”
I shook my head vigorously.
“Absolutely not.”
I had made peace with the wolf during the fight, and I was certain our fight in my meadow was long forgotten. It did not mean I wanted to shack up with the alpha. He had proven to me his fickle nature and inability to make a decision on his own. He would be easily swayed, and I did not respect him for it. The thought of traveling with him made my head hurt.
“So stubborn,” Taehyung teased. “Fine. I’ll leave it alone.”
“Thank you.”
“Now,” He grinned, “Care to go gather some of those books I like so much? I think they’ll be a nice way to decompress during the night.”
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Walking through the streets, I was pleased by the progress everyone had made rebuilding. The market was still destroyed, but so many homes and businesses on the southside were almost completely finished. The north, were the copiae lived, would be the last place rebuilt. Elder Kim had said the children needed a place to go and the few homes that stood were not enough to house them all. Bo, in her typical fashion, was upset by this but held her tongue. 
She never wanted to disrespect a man. The thought made me roll my eyes.
Spotting Namjoon, I was pleased to see him and Taehyung working together. The younger alpha’s family home had been destroyed, all of them having to stay in the palace’s already crowded towers, but his mother was going stir crazy. Catching my gaze, Namjoon offered me a small, hesitant wave. I responded with a polite smile and continued walking. Taehyung was none the wiser. 
I was greeted many times, all of them kind, and I tried to stop and help however I could. My magic was still weaker than I would like, and I had not had any time to flex my abilities since the attack. Today, I was hoping to change that. 
“Would you like for me to help you with that?” I asked an elderly couple struggling to lift leftover roof tiles from their recent repairs.
“That would be lovely, Oxur Park,” The man replied, his voice gruff. “Just put them in that wheelbarrow. We’re giving the rest to Alpha Taehyung’s family.”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and attempted to focus. I was lucky the pieces were in a fairly neat pile and would be simple to move so long as I concentrated. A bead of sweat formed on my eyebrow. Lifting my hands, I mumbled under my breath.
“Flotian,” Cracking an eye open, the pile lifted effortlessly.
As quickly as possible, I brought the tiles to the wheelbarrow. Panting now, I knew I needed to flex my muscles a bit more. I was out of shape, and it was showing. With a loud clang, the tiles were ready to be pushed to Taehyung’s.
“Need a hand?”
Dropping my stance, I wiped my forehead and looked at Namjoon. He looked as weary as he had a few moments before, but this time I gave him a real smile. He returned it awkwardly. Whatever had happened during the battle had worn off, his confidence in helping me was replaced by the tongue-twisted man who had stood in my living room begging for forgiveness. Like so many, I owed him an apology as well. Gesturing at the wheelbarrow, I nodded. 
“Thank you,” The old woman gushed. “God bless you both!”
Embarrassed, I ducked my head and bowed to the couple. Getting busy with the task, I pointed out a few loose pieces that would not fit in the wheelbarrow. Namjoon gathered them and handed them to my outstretched hands. Taking hold of the heavy, blue metal, the alpha began pushing. I used magic and the leftover tiles floated, following us back down the road.
“Taehyung tells me you are traveling to Viridi Gramine soon.”
I was not expecting small talk, but I was even more taken aback by the lie. The boy was quicker than I thought. The fib would make my disappearance easier to swallow without leading the spies on my trail. It did, however, pose an issue for their neighbors. If the elves believed the wolves to be ready for an attack out East, they may choose to invade sooner.
“Yes,” I lied easily, the word falling off my tongue with such conviction I was almost convinced myself. “I leave in a few days.”
“Would you like an extra set of hands?” He asked. “I know you and I have been on differing sides as of late, but I would like for that to change. I do respect you immensely.”
I smiled sadly. After speaking so ill of the man earlier today he was ready to drop everything to help me. Even if it was to make amends, I acknowledged how unpleasant being away would be. If I were less prideful, I may have accepted his proposal. As it stands, my pride was the only thing I still had to hold on.
“I owe you an apology,” I replied. “I was not fair to you. I let my anger blind me. It seems that’s all I’m good for these days.”
I thought of Jimin and his gentle caresses. I did not deserve his kindness. With the rumors spreading he was bound to hear of Taehyung’s lie. He would have a few choice words for me, that I was sure, but I knew we would work through it if I was given a chance to explain myself. He trusted me enough to allow me that. At least, I hoped he did.
“Regardless,” I sighed, “I’m sorry. I was out of line. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I have never been known to hold grudges for very long,” The man replied. 
“Still, I will have to decline the offer,” I threw the tiles on the ground. We were at the edge of Taehyung’s property and the young alpha was hard at work. With barely more than a small wave, Taehyung greeted us. Sparing Namjoon a tight-lipped smile, I continued. “I want as many people in Bangtan as possible. I’m traveling with a small group of quietus.”
Namjoon nodded, his long hair falling out of its loose ponytail. 
“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“I’m sure I won’t.”
With that, I bid both alphas goodbye and turned back around. 
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Standing in front of Jimin’s home was a short, pear-shaped woman. Her salt and pepper hair falling messily around her shoulders, thick bangs boxing in her already squared face. Tanned and beginning to show signs of her aging, her eyes crinkled happily at their corners as I approached. Her dress was tighter than it should have been, almost indecent in comparison to the other women around, but her large hips made it difficult to sew around. Her body would be considered provocative by the men, but the sight of it only made me feel inferior. 
I had not realized Jimin’s mother was so beautiful.
“Y/N,” She greeted me happily, her voice soft and sugary sweet.
I bowed, covering my chest with a hand, and closed my eyes. I needed only a second to regroup myself. I had not been prepared to meet my fiance’s mother today. Especially without him by my side. Mi-Jeong radiated positive energy and her smile was infectious. I hoped I looked as happy as she did, but I only felt myself growing more overwhelmed.
“Good afternoon, Mrs.Park,” I winced at how breathless I sounded. I cleared my throat. “How are you?”
“I’m well,” She winked. I did not know why. “You’re just in time for lunch.”
Ushering me inside, I was relieved to hear Jin’s loud voice booming over all of the others. Yoongi was no longer on the living room floor, and Wendy’s gentle laugh mixed with the others. Elated, I quickly took off my shoes and made my way into the kitchen. Mi-Jeong followed behind me, her little feet pitter-pattering against the wooden floors.
The little house was in perfect condition and the smell of fresh paint hung in the air. Spotting Callisto and Hyun-Jin, I smiled at the paint staining their clothes. At least we were all trying to make the most of our horrible situation. Enver was the first to spot me and a huge, face-splitting smile broke out across his little face.
“Bridd!” He cried; his excitement palpable. 
A streak of baby blue paint stuck to his cheek, but I did not care. The boy ran to give me a hug and I felt the wet paint soak through my dress. Greeted with loud, obnoxious cheers, I waved the others off and let go of my young friend. Yoongi looked around and I was sad to see he was still disabled. I had a feeling that would be a part of his life now. I hoped it would one day fade, but I was not sure the magic elves used to cause such damage.
“You have to try this,” Wendy moaned, pushing a large plate of noodles my way. 
The noodles were thick and covered in a thick, chunky, black sauce. They smelled heavenly. Wendy passed over her pair of chopsticks and gestured at the plate once more. Her mouth was still filled. Picking up a large mouthful, I slurped.
They were delicious. So savory and salty it made my eyes close in content. The noise of content I made was involuntary and I quickly went in for another bite. The plate was pulled away from me and I scowled. Yoona raised an eyebrow at me.
“Is there meat in this?” I asked.
“Pork,” Callisto replied, chewing on a large plate of vegetable noodles.
My stomach turned uncomfortably, and I was suddenly less enthusiastic. They were so delicious; I was almost angry about the pork’s presence. Still, I watched Yoongi bite down on a piece of fried fish and felt less guilty. These were trying times and beggars could not be chooser. I grabbed the bowl back, took another large bite, before Yoona pulled back her way.
“There’s plenty of food. You don’t get to hog all of the Jajangmyeon.”
Someone tapped my shoulder. Mi-Jeong smiled at me, and it reminded me so much of Jimin’s I paused. Holding up a pair of clean chopsticks, she chuckled. I handed Wendy back the borrowed sticks and took my own. Seemingly satisfied, the little woman elbowed her way into the circle and began to grab the dishes she wanted for herself.
The dining table was far too big for all of us to sit at and it seemed everyone chose to stand. Yoongi and Tae-Jin, who had been discharged from the infirmary this morning, were the only two who sat. Mi-Jeong moved Enver out of her way and sat. I could see Wendy placing food on Yoongi’s plate and frowned.
I would have a talk with her about that at some point. I did not have the time or patience to deal with any of that right now. Jin noticed where I was looking and turned. With a deep sigh, he shook his head, but ignored it. It was probably for the best. A couple’s quarrel would cause a huge uproar within the families. 
“Good to see you walking around, Mr.Kim,” I greeted Jin’s father.
“Nice to see you, too, kid.”
Passing around bowls and plates, I listened to the conversations around me. Jin and Wendy helped Jimin’s family with the construction repairs, and Mi-Jeong let Enver pick out the new colors for the walls. She had taken a very big liking to the boy. Thelma and the other women were taking a break from helping a family a few houses down but were planning on getting back to work as soon as they were finished eating.
“I was able to get Mannix this morning,” Jin threw my way. “Poor boy was shaking and so scared. He fell asleep in Callisto’s bed.”
I frowned. August, Yoongi’s cat, rubbed against my legs and I guessed he had gone for both of them. Hopefully the two of them will feel better soon. They had been left alone for quite a while. Wendy started talking about the witches from Syrena. Apparently, her coven was planning on coming out to the village to help. That brightened my mood. At least, in my absence, others will be around to help.
Callisto and Mi-Jeong soon left the room taking Thelma and Tae-Jin in tow. They were going to figure out a way to fix some of the loose floorboards in my future sister-in-law’s room. The circle around the table started to dissipate leaving only Yoongi, Jin, Wendy, and Ji-Hyun behind. The three of my friends were all jokingly loudly with one another as I took Mi-Jeong’s seat.
“So, Viridi Gramine?” Ji-Hyun’s eyes were telling, and I knew from the arch of his brow he did not believe Taehyung for a second. “Are you sure you can trust a Quietus to take care of you?”
The wolf was relaxed, his face and body language giving nothing away. Crouched beside my chair we would look like we were having a normal conversation, but he could not keep the malice out of his tone. Sinking into the chair, I turned my body towards his and hoped I could remain neutral. I did not want to fight with Jimin’s brother, but I refused to be intimidated.
I cleared my throat, “I’m sure we will be just fine.”
I did not have the heart to tell him I had yet to make any real decisions. That this entire trip was going to be a convoluted road of impulsive decisions. That I was going to be in more danger than anyone else could ever know. Ji-Hyun’s icy glare told me I did not need to say a word. He already knew what I was doing. His eyes were far more unnerving than Taehyung’s.
“Well,” He spoke softly, careful to keep the others from overhearing, “We can all hope you change your mind. Seeing you hurt would be heartbreaking for my brother. He barely survived it the last time.”
I had to commend the boy; he was very good at laying on the guilt. A thick cloud of shame wrapped itself around my body and it took effort to keep my expression neutral. Again, as it had been for days now, my anger bubbled to the surface. I could not remember being this angry in many, many years. I thought back to Namjoon and the incident in my front yard and looked away. 
I was lying to myself. Lying horribly. If I said I could not remember the last time I was able to relax then that would be more truthful. Anxiety and anger were a part of who I was, but I did a wonderful job at hiding it behind snarky comments and isolation. I had never been around so many people for this long and hiding these facets of my personality were growing harder and harder. Soon it would be impossible. This trip could be a blessing in disguise. Once again, I wanted to go off on my own. I knew I was lonely- it was companionship that I was working out.
I thought of Shiloh and sighed heavily. At least she knew when to give me my space. No one else seemed to understand my needs the same way. It was to be expected. She had been with me since I was a young child and never once thought about going away. When the others moved on with their lives after Aldara’s death, when they left me to destroy myself after I burned my bridges, there was Shiloh and her kindness. The singular light in my life for as long as I could remember- the only shine coming close being Yoongi. Now I was alone again and did not know when they would leave. This time, my closest ally was dealing with his own problems and would not have time for mine.
“I’ll be back soon.”
“We’ll see.”
It clicked then. Ji-Hyun believed I was fleeing.
“You may have everyone else fooled,” His voice was so soft, so low, I was positive we were the only two who could understand a word he said. “But know this- if you ever hurt my brother again, I will not be so forgiving. Taehyung is a fool to let you do this. I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.”
Smirking at my distress, Ji-Hyun pushed his hair out of his face.
“You’re abandoning us,” He cocked his head to the side and gave me a scathing once over. “Jimin would be a fool to think overwise. You will always be a coward. I mean, you let my friends die without blinking an eye, what’s the rest of them?”
Disgusted, I stood and placed my chopsticks in the kitchen sink before stalking back outside. I did not need to put up with his bullshit on top of everything else I was handling. He should feel lucky I walked away. Violent images of striking the boy with fire filled my head followed by ripping his head off the way I had the elf’s.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I used all of my willpower to push my murderous thoughts to the deepest corners of my mind. Again, I was losing control. Stepping out front, I took a breath of fresh air and made every attempt to calm my racing heart. Instead of calm, however, I became even angrier. Because right in front of me was none other than Jimin, the love of my life, looking at me as if I were a perfect stranger.
“Leaving already?” He asked, eyes narrowed.
Great, just great, now he was mad at me as well. My already shaky control was spiraling. I felt my skin heating and my breathing picked back up. I was going to explode if he did not stop. I bit my lip and took a nice, deep breath. His scent did little to calm me. In fact, a small spike in anxiety only made my fists clench. 
“I’m going for a walk,” I managed to get out, my voice far lighter than I was expecting. Jimin’s face darkened. “I didn’t realize it was taboo. Is walking illegal now?”
My sarcasm was not aiding either one of us right now. Whatever the reason for his anger, I should not be egging him on. Yet, I could not stop it. Trembling, I closed the front door and took a few more steps outside. Jimin did not move. I did not want to get any closer to him.
“Why is Taehyung lying to everyone?” He demanded, voice low and husky.
“Ask him yourself,” I snapped, already fed up with everyone and their conclusions.
“Are you lying to me?”
Scoffing, I shoved our shoulders as I passed him. He gave me a low, warning growl and turned to face me. Whatever voice that usually told me to bite my tongue was not around. It must have realized I would not listen. Looking up at him, I struggled to figure out how I really felt. Angry? Sad? Disappointed?
Looking into his eyes, I realized I was hurt. And that was a recipe for disaster. Steeling, I shook my head and looked at my feet. I had forgotten my shoes in my haste to get out of there.
“I told you we would speak, didn’t I?” I challenged. “How is that lying to you? Have you no faith in me at all?”
His pained expression told me everything that I needed to know.
“Of course,” I pulled away from him as if I had been burned. “Why would you anyway? It is me after all.”
“Amica-”
“No,” I threw my hands up. “I’ll see you later.”
I needed time to cool off and get my head back on. We had yet to argue, and I knew I would soon devolve into insults and petty jabs. I walked away without looking back, ignoring him calling out for me. He didn’t understand. They never understand.
I should have known he could never forgive me.
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Koda stood beside my bedroom door, a large towel in one hand and a small pile of cloth in the other. Her thin clothes would have done little to help me in the cold hallways, but I doubted she felt the draft. She gave me a gentle smile as I approached which I returned. It seemed she would be adhering to Sol’s request from this morning.
“What time will you be leaving tonight?” She asked, handing me the towel.
“After I bathe,” I replied. “I will shift and leave through the broken window downstairs.”
Koda chuckled breathily. We were both keeping our voices down. Neither one of us wanted our conversation to be overheard by prying ears. I knew Bo was listening, but her chambers were on the opposite side of the palace. Even if she tried her best, I doubted she would be able to hear us- unless she was lurking around corners. I would not put it past her.
“That’s been repaired,” Koda sniffed the air, paused, and continued to walk. “I’ve broken the latches on your bedroom window, so you should be able to leave easily tonight.”
After my bath, Koda left me to dress myself and walk back to my room. She was trying to respect my privacy as much as possible, but I knew it was difficult for her to watch me do what she perceived as her job. I would never get used to someone else washing my hair- it was strange. She did, however, put her foot down about drying my hair properly. 
“You will get sick, Y/N,” She scolded me gently, her fingers already in my hair.
She took great care and time drying the strands. She never pulled too hard or placed too much pressure on my scalp. After drying it completely, she ran oils and products through it that smell heavily of rose. I tried to convince her to let me go earlier, pleading that I needed to see Jimin, but she refused to budge. Koda was stubborn when she wanted to be.
By the time I left, it was long past midnight, and I was certain that Jimin would already be in bed. Before I could make it to him, Cadoc was floating beside me and told me we needed to speak. Tonight, we would talk about the trip and who I would be bringing. Tomorrow I will be leaving. It only served to make me all the more restless. Tonight, would be our last night and I wanted to get as much time in as I could. Even if it started with an argument, I was hopeful we could end it entangled in his bed.
“What?” I snapped, landing on the ground.
Shifting back, I stood in the destroyed market in nothing but the thin, cotton gown Koda gave me. The air was far more bothersome as a human than a bird and I rubbed my arms. Cadoc smiled apologetically and raised his arms in surrender. 
“We will be quick, okay?”
I grit my teeth and nod.
“Have you made a decision yet?” He asked.
“I will go with Sam,” I conceited, hoping this conversation would be over soon.
“She will be pleased to hear that,” Cadoc grinned. “Lorcan will deliver everything you need to take with you tonight. Look over it as much as you can tomorrow, and Sam will meet up with you at your cottage.”
“Thank you.”
Cadoc shook his head, “No thanks needed.”
My skin itched to walk away from him. I wanted to see Jimin, but I knew this was an important conversation. Trying my best to stay pleasant, I nodded and forced a smile on my face. From Cadoc’s amused expression, I failed miserably. Bidding me a goodnight, Cadoc vanished into the wind leaving me alone once more. 
Jimin was pacing when I walked into his small home. His hair was let loose, the silver strands frizzed and wild, but beautiful, nonetheless. Our fight this afternoon was still bothering him, and when I closed the front door, his head snapped in my direction. Worrying his bottom lip, I could see blood pooling where he had bitten off his skin. Eyes turning into slits, Jimin’s glare was murderous.
“So, you’re planning on getting yourself killed?”
The question hung in the tense air. Whatever hopes I had for this being a good night were dashed away. Cocking his head to the side, Jimin waited for me to speak but I could not find the words to say. He knew and I was at a loss. Taehyung must have said something in the fear that I really would take the cowardly route. 
“Nothing to say?” Jimin pushed, seething. “You had plenty to say at my mother’s. Come on then, tell me.”
I scowled. His bad attitude was understandable, but it did little to soften my increasingly hurt feelings. That anger from earlier was rearing its ugly head. I had plans to tell him tonight and I was angry at Taehyung for going behind my back. Squaring my shoulders, I sighed loudly.
“I doubt you’d listen to me anyway,” My voice was cold and hard. Far harder than I intended for it to be. “You’ve already seemed to have your mind made up about things.”
Scoffing, Jimin marched towards me with a purpose. Standing my ground, I tried my best to dispel my growing anger with little success. My newfound temperament would only make this situation worse but when our chests pressed together and Jimin looked every bit the alpha he was, I did not care. I wanted to scream and fight, bite and scratch, maybe then I could feel myself relax. Maybe all of my anger was a buildup of pressure that I desperately needed to get rid of. 
“Why is it that I have to hear about this plan of yours from Sol of all people?” He demanded. 
Of course, Taehyung would have spoken to his mate about our conversation. I was foolish to believe anything between us would remain a secret. Now, Sol’s face flashed through my mind and my resent bubbled over. Who the hell was she to tell Jimin anything? 
“Why are you taking her word over mine?” I challenged, my teeth gritted.
“Stop answering my questions with questions!” Jimin shouted, walking away from me. “I believe Sol more than anybody. More than you. At least one of you has never kept anything from me.”
That was a low blow and we both knew it. Instead of remorse, the flash of guilt that came across his face soon morphed into indifference. He almost seemed proud of the insult. I refused to cry, the angry sting in my eyes only adding fuel to my already raging fire, and I swallowed thickly. Two can play this game but if he was more concerned about winning then I would gladly let him insult me alone. Taking a step back, I prepared to leave for the night. 
“For what it’s worth,” I looked at my feet, “I really am sorry.”
“Stop apologizing to me,” Jimin snapped, his voice so harsh and critical it made me cower. “You’ve done nothing but apologize for days. What else can you do?”
I knew he was just upset and hurt by my plans, our fight only making this one that much worse. I knew he would never say something like that to me under normal circumstances. I knew he would feel awful for his choice of words once he had the chance to cool off. Yet, the hurt and anger spread through my chest and infected every part of my body. He was right, I could not offer him anything but apologies. I knew it was too good to be true. Spiraling once more, I did not realize I was crying until the tears ran down my neck and tickled me.
“Don’t apologize when you’re going to keep doing this shit,” He spat, each word laced with venom. He was only a few feet away from me and I had never felt further away from him. “Apologize when you decide to change. Apologize when you realize I don’t need a martyr- I need someone who won’t lie and keep things from me.”
“I skewed up, alright?” I finally responded, “But I never once lied to you.”
“Yes-”
“No,” I cut him off, my blood boiling. “I did not lie. I told you I was leaving, that it would be difficult, and I told you I would tell you when I knew more.”
“But you were thinking of lying to me till the end!” He screamed.
“I admit that,” I shot right back, my voice growing louder. “I would do anything if it meant you were safe- even if that meant lying to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you!”
“Morologus es!”
The silence was so very loud then. Bottom lip wobbling, I took yet another step back. Whatever comeback I could have thought of fell short. Jimin’s conviction was astonishing, and his doubt felt like a punch in the gut. I needed to get out of here. I could hardly breathe, and his scent was becoming suffocating.
“Stop using me as an excuse,” His onslaught continued. “Just admit you want to be the hero. You can’t just be happy with me- no! You have to be the Bridd who runs, and jumps, and begs for the slightest bit of danger if it means she can be the victor! Even when it means getting an entire village killed!”
His words felt like a slap in the face. Was that the reason he thought I wanted to go? It had never even crossed my mind, but the confidence he held made me doubt myself. Wiping my face, I shouted obscenities and tried to catch my breath. I knew he blamed me. It was all my fault. All of this was my fault. Jimin completely ignored me and stood a few feet away, his words like knives, and his gaze like stone.
“This-” He gestured between the two of us, “-Whatever you think you may feel for me is wrong. You don’t love me. This is not love. Running towards your death to redeem yourself is not loving me.”
“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” He murmured, the edge finally beginning to soften.
“Did you say something to your brother?” I demanded.
“Wh-what?” He spluttered.
I laughed humorlessly, “Cut the shit, Jimin. Whatever you’ve said about me has obviously affected his view of me, or was calling me murderer some one-off occurrence? Somehow, I have a hard time believing he’s come to that conclusion all on his own.”
“Ji-Hyun would never say something like that,” He hissed, his breath heavy. “Why would I speak badly about you behind your back? Unlike you, I’m an upfront person.”
My anger flared once more, and I could slowly see the corners of my vision distorting. As badly as I wanted to end this fight and make up, I knew that would not be possible. Not now. Not ever. Again, he was calling me a liar. Again, I would have to fight this uphill battle to prove myself. Again, I was losing a game I never knew I was playing in the first place.
Cadoc had been wrong. Love was never given freely. Nothing in this life was. Jimin would always need for me to prove myself to him. I would have to fight, bite, scream, and scratch if I wanted to show him that I care. Why I ever hoped it would be different was foolish on my part. 
“Are you so angry at me that you’re dragging my brother into this?” He shouted.
I scoffed, “There you go again, treating me as if I am some kind of irrational monster. So, I ask you again, do you really think that little of me?”
Jimin said nothing. Frustrated and tired, I finally had enough. I could smell ash and smoke all around me, and I knew I was about to find myself back at my cottage. Cordelia’s face was in my mind, Aldara’s arm hanging out of the wolf’s mouth, and I knew I needed to leave. Numb and slowly dissociating, I sniffled.
“Fine.”
“What?” He had the nerve to look abashed.
Hand on the front doorknob, I shook my head in defeat. It was over. Jimin was rejecting my love and whatever else I had to offer him. He did not believe in me at all. Somehow that hurt me more than the rejection. His faith had always been constant, his love tender and warm, and that was gone now, too. I had nothing. I was nothing. I deserved whatever I had coming to me. Finally, I had gotten my wish. Finally, he was shouting.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your life,” Devoid of emotion, I sniffled. “I know I made a mistake, but I’m trying my best. Doesn’t that matter?” My voice tapered off towards the end.
Jimin said nothing. I turned the knob and was back outside. I stopped waiting for him to stop me once I could no longer see his home. My feet felt like they weighed twenty pounds each and dragged along the dirt road beneath my feet. I needed to get back home. I chuckled humorlessly when I realized I no longer had one.
I truly gave up on him coming to gather me in his arms once the palace came into view. It was eerily quiet tonight and I wanted to go get lost. I wanted to forget. I wanted to leave. 
The thought occurred to me so quickly, so easily, that it made me smile. Yes, I would leave tonight. It was better this way. I would no longer be a burden to this place and the others could live peacefully without me. Even if I died, I doubted it would matter. Nothing I had ever done worked out anyway. It would be nothing new.
Shifting, I scaled the walls and flew into my bedroom. Just as Cadoc said there were countless items at my disposal all wrapped up and ready to go. I would have plenty of time to look over them tomorrow morning. I would sleep in Moland tonight, hopefully not getting too lost, and try to ask for directions once I reached civilization. It was better than hurting anybody else. It was better than getting any more blood on my hands.
At least I could remain the hero. 
I cried in pain. I could not believe he thought so lowly of me. No wonder he refused to touch me, I probably disgusted him to no end, and he was hateful that we were bound to one another. Something told me I should stop packing, stop moving, and to breathe, but I ignored it. I did not care what it had to say. 
Throwing a few spare changes of clothes, paper, and a few spell books, I knew I needed to change out of the frilly nightgown Koda had changed me into. Throwing on an old, loose shirt, I looked around for my trousers when I stumbled across Aldara’s journals. I had yet to open them since I came here. Running my fingers over the spines, I made the split decision to take them with me. I would need her company to keep me sane.
Finally, I came to a stop as I caught sight of my jewelry box. I had Heidi’s ring on my left hand and Griselda’s on my right, but they felt far too empty. Opening the lid, the cool ceramic felt heavier than normal in my hands. It took a few minutes of digging before I found Aldara’s ring and slipped on my right hand. The bird’s head encased my entire index finger, but I did not care. I would be taking this ring. I found my own a moment later, a chain wrapped around the band.
Pulling it out, I secured it around my neck and looked down. I gasped. There shining and glittering under the candlelight was Taehyung’s necklace. The carnelian had been marginally larger than the tip of my thumb, perfectly rounded, and it’s red coloring deep and beautiful. I could see the faint, dark marbling within it, but the lights made it hard to capture its beauty. Spiraling around the stone was a thin wire of steel that ended with a small loop. I thought Taehyung would like something simple, so I finished it off with a long piece of dark cord that I carefully braided. It was beautiful.
My anger dissipated at the sight of it. I had spent days working on that necklace hoping I would not break the stone. I completed it a few days before the present ceremony, but when everything went to shit, I had completely forgotten about it. I placed it on the desk and sighed. 
Thick, hot tears ran down my cheeks as I cried. I had such high hopes for everyone. If I could turn back time I would, why could nobody see that? Why was Taehyung the only person I believed when he said he would love me regardless? Bitter, I wiped my face roughly and went back to packing.
He was the only one who meant it, that’s why.
Reaching into my back, I pulled out a single sheet of paper and prepared my ink. I would have to leave something for him at least. No need to worry the people who cared for me. Even Jimin. I can’t forgive myself, but I could forgive him. Maybe when I come back, we could work things out.
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Taehyung,
Do you remember this? It feels like a lifetime ago. I hope you like it. I wish I could have made a matching one for Sol, but maybe that would have been too perfect. When I get back, I will make sure I have one waiting for her neck. The two of you deserve it. Even if I am angry with your wife, I know I will get over that soon enough.
Tell the others how sorry I am for this impromptu banishment. I fear I have made a real mess of things lately and I don’t know how to make it better. No one believes in me, no one thinks I’m capable, and I can’t figure out what it is they mean by it? Am I not strong enough or is it because it does not matter? I’m sorry if this is confusing. Tonight, has been too much for me. No- today has been too much. The last ten years have been too much.
I haven’t had my head on right in a very long time, Tae. So, I beg of you to forgive me. I promise you that no one had a part in my decision to leave like this. It’s all my own doing. I can only hope I make it back in time to tell you how much you mean to me. How much all of you mean to me. 
Tell Yoongi that I will miss him more than I miss breathing. Tell Jin his laughter will be something I think about to keep me going. Tell Wendy how much I’m going to miss her hugs and will yearn for them every day. I need my witches to know that I adore every single one of them and will do whatever it takes to keep them out of harm’s way. Thank Thelma for me. Let Enver know how proud I am and that the blue looks nice.
Lastly, let Jimin know I love him more than anything else in this life. Even my own. That will never change, even when he is frustrated and angry at the world. I promise I will try my best to come back home in one piece. I promise, as the Gods look down upon me, that I will do everything in my power to bring help back. I don’t care where I have to go or what I have to do. I will not come back empty handed this time.
Be careful. The elves are not known for their mercy.
With all my love,
Y/N
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Slipping on my pants, snatching a pair of earrings Yoongi gifted me for my birthday a few years ago, and lacing up pair of boots, I slung the bag over my back and enchanted my things to flex and change as I did. Afterwards, I shifted and flew out of the window. I did not look down or wait for somebody to find me. Tomorrow morning, they would wake and the cause of all their misery would be gone. I would fight tooth and nail if it meant I had a better chance of getting help to these people. Aldara had never led me astray before.
I wished I could have told Jimin that.
Broken hearted and lost, I flew above the trees and watched the world I know leave me behind. Flying would get me somewhere, but the elves would grow suspicious of a raven wearing a backpack. Soaring, Thelma’s small boat home cut through the trees and I knew I would have some place to rest my head tonight.
I wished Jimin could have been here with me.
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Translations:
Matrina - Godmother
Patrinus - Godfather
Mi conjunx - My wife (Addressing)
Mi coniunx - My husband (Addressing)
Morologus es! - You’re talking like a moron!
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I know I’m a jerk for this...please don’t be mad at me. It’ll get better... eventually.
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Taglist: @greezenini​ @adventures-in-bookland​ @kthstrawberryshortcake-main​ @zae007live @jimin-neverout @nikkiordonez12 @canarystwin​ @yamekomz @chimthicc​ @michiiedreamer​ @amorieus​
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© chimcess, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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peachdues · 6 months
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y’all can thank @kentohours for flattering me into sharing another sneak peek at Between Man & Star.
This one is from Sanemi’s POV — the night that Giyuu sees the face of his long-lost fiancé after more than 900 years, teased here.
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Sanemi hadn’t realized how close Y/N had traveled to her old lover’s apartment until he saw the bastard meandering down the street, looking as miserable as ever.
Good. It was what he deserved, the stupid asshole.
The snow-haired Wind Pillar couldn’t help but feel vindictive towards his former comrade; after all, it was his fault that Sanemi had been forced to endure the centuries alone, with nothing or no one to keep him company, rather than allowing him to die in peace and maybe be reborn sometime later.
He loathed the popularity with which modern media viewed eternal life and youth; with every new vampire movie or fantasy book wherein people obsessed over the idea of living forever, Sanemi had to hold his tongue back from reminding them of the bitter truth.
Immortality meant nothing when you couldn’t remember the faces of the people you loved most; when you watched the world keep spinning even without them, until they were nothing more than a watery memory in his mind’s eye, no other living person remembering there was once someone named Genya or Shizu and that they’d mattered.
—-
Sanemi watched, an uncomfortable lead sinking in his gut, as the Water Pillar gazed upon the spitting image of his long-dead lover.
So he hadn’t seen her yet in this life, after all.
—-
It was too hard to watch.
Because, as angry as Sanemi was towards the Water Pillar — as much as he couldn’t find it within himself to forgive what he’d done — he hadn’t deserved this.
“Dammit, Tomioka,” Sanemi muttered, watching as Y/N turned around the corner with her friends, laughing and carefree.
Sanemi made an impulsive decision then that he knew he’d probably regret come the morning. But Kanroji was with Y/N, and she could hold their formation until he returned.
Exhaling harshly, Sanemi leapt from the building roof, landing swiftly on the balls of his feet only a small distance away from his old comrade.
Giyuu was still silent and staring into the space once occupied by Y/N as Sanemi approached. With a heavy heart, the Wind Pillar reached out and clapped him on the shoulder. Giyuu startled and looked to Sanemi in wide-eyed alarm.
For the first time in nine hundred years, the Wind Pillar addressed him directly. “Go inside.”
Giyuu’s eyes were upon him but Sanemi had the distinct feeling that the Water Pillar wasn’t actually looking at him; not really. “S-she—“
“I know.” Sanemi said heavily, and for once, the Wind Pillar found himself in agreement with how Giyuu felt; seeing her in this era was a punch to the gut, no matter how he sliced it.
After all, once upon a time, she’d been their friend, too.
“Go inside, Tomioka.”
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morroodle · 3 months
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The Ninjago Battle Box: the best investment of my life
A reveiw
A few days ago I got bored and made a somewhat impulsive decision to buy the ninjago battle box which I've been wanting for a while and it finally arrived today so I'm gonna reveiw it cause I haven't seen like anyone talk about it. It dosent even have its own wiki page even though it is chock full of fun facts and information and pictures
Contents:
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A 2 sided map - one side is ninjago city while the other is ninjago as a whole (kinda)
Book of battles
Ninjago world guide
30 cards
Lloyd minifig
Garmadon minifig
The map:
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HOLY SHIT THIS IS COOL. As far as I'm aware this might be the most detailed map of ninjago we've ever gotten and no one is even aware of it! What I think is the most interesting and what makes me question how cannon this is is that the main map of ninjago only covers like... 1/4 of the whole ninjago island? Kinda odd how like all the locations are in this tiny chunk when they have a whole island they could cover but hey its still a super cool map and an amazing piece of art!
The book of battles:
Kind of a weird thing and I couldn't find any information on what it was until I got it. Basically each page is a rough (and not 100% accurate) summary of one of the battles of ninjago, a vague but still pretty obvious clue about where the battle took place, a prompt to play and a neat art piece based on the battle. It's not so much a history book as it is a book of play ideas, your meant to use the clue to find where the battle took place on the map and then use the little battle dojo, the minifigures and the cards to play out the battle however you want. Very cute and I love it. One weird thing I found though: in one of the battles it calls the serpentine the serpentai? It's done 3 times so I don't think it's just a typo. Don't know what's going on there but its cool. Here's an example of the best page, they're all formatted the same
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It only has a handful of battles, not nearly all of them, but that's to be expected and it's still great
Ninjago world guide:
It's like a little encyclopedia of heros, villains and artifacts. It includes the main ninja, the elemental masters, all the villains (up to season 15 and strangely excluding the overlord), and a bunch of non people important things like the bounty and the realm crystal. Pretty much nothing I don't already know but still neat! It's kinda cool how it's split into 2 sections, one half being heros and good artifacts and the other being villains and bad artifacts. I don't know how to describe it but theyre kinda facing different ways? It's like 2 books in one, both starting on the outsides and meeting/ending in the middle like so.
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Here's Morro's page (again most of the pages are formatted the same):
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Cutie pie <3
The cards:
I wish I could show off all the cars but sadly tumblr has a limit to how many pictures you can have in one post. Cards include heros, villains and artifacts, similar to the world guide but not quite as many things, just the important ones. Theyre pretty simple, with just the name/title and a drawing of the character/item. Theyre meant to be used to play the battles in the book of battles. Morro's is the absolute best one look at this little cutie pie!
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Hes so sweet and adorable he has never done anything wrong in his life and I love him
The minifigures and the box itself:
Nothing really special about the minifigs just a basic Lloyd and Garmadon. Interesting to note that despite wearing his season 8 gi Lloyd has his legacy hood on. Not complaining, I hate the smooth round hoods.
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The box that everything came in doubles as the little play area :D its a little dojo setting with some cute nicknacks scattered around. It needs a bit of encouragement to stay flat though. Oh also here's the outside of the box
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Conclusion:
The best $25 I've ever spent. I can't believe almost no one knows or talks about this! It's from 2023 and covers up until seabound. I might have to see if I can add this stuff to the ninjago wiki, more people should know about it. If anyone else is interested in getting one (you should be) it's on the scholastic website for $17.99 + shipping, not the actual lego website.
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