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ilynpilled · 10 months

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ive been thinking about this a bit and i feel like i have some very different feelings towards certain things and strongly disagree with the implications present in the ways i see them discussed. i do not like to simplify these themes to “vengeance/punishment bad wahh”, because it does not at all feel complete enough to convey my true feelings, or the themes of the text itself for that matter imo, but like… ofc i personally cant read things like cersei’s walk of shame, where she is punished, humiliated, and dehumanized through the one thing she was unfairly condemned for her entire life— jaime’s brutal maiming and torture where he is humiliated, fed things like horse piss which he forces down because he is so thirsty before vomiting it back up, gets repeatedly beaten unconscious, and is nearly driven to passive suicide— theon’s excessive physical and mental torment that would take too long to list that breaks him entirely— and even a man as deeply evil as vargo hoat (who is not at all three dimensional) having his hands and feet and arms and legs cut off, be cannibalized, and even be forced to eat parts of himself, causing the pov character that swore to enact brutal vengeance on him to feel ill and repulsed once he finds out— and experience much, if any, catharsis, personal feelings about these characters aside. asoiaf is a series where the author pretty often deliberately places us inside the heads of bad people that have done terrible things, who some readers may feel a certain hatred for, as they are put through torment. not to make the reader feel good and satisfied about it, but to present it as something that should not really be a thing that we revel in, and encourage us to be critical about what is even gained through what they are going through. even a morally dark antagonist without a pov like joffrey and his death was meant to have elements of tragedy. during, tyrion notes that he is a young boy with fear in his eyes that he had never seen in the eyes of his father. whether you feel a certain way about it (and i am not arguing that you are morally flawed for not sympathizing with a fictional character, this isn’t real life, i am just discussing themes that i am identifying), the goal was not really to provide us with a feel-good “justice at last!” emotion through the brutally violent death of a 13 year old boy. it makes me genuinely wonder how some ppl come away with the idea that this series is intended to be a celebration and glorification of punitive justice. i am not saying justice in general is not a huge theme, and some catharsis, especially for victims, over the death/defeat of their abusers & tormenters is present in the text as well, understandably so, because it can mean safety. take pia smiling through broken teeth when jaime has her rapist executed and presents his head to her while setting a precedent with gregor’s men. some people need to die, and deserve it, but what does that look like? who decides it? why? by contrast, the instance of jaime actually feeling good when he hangs a bunch of random outlaws reads as something more tied to his current relationship to the self and certain selfish desires at this point in his story than real justice, and it is further elaborated upon and taken apart in the book. anyway, all these questions are present and the answers are not near as simple as i often see them made out to be.

it doesn’t feel like to me that most things that can be interpreted as enactments of punitive justice or moments of karma are these epic events that should just make the reader blindly cheer and applaud, or even feel good about. there is a reason that some things go awry (like with oberyn), and it isn’t cynicism. there is nuance, and not in a way where victims are condemned for fighting back, or a pacifist ideology is idealized. there just really isn’t a glorification of brutal punishment, ‘eye for an eye’ vengeance, and the needless causing of suffering. same with a blind upholding of duty and law based around flawed feudalistic constructs. and all these things should not even be conflated. not to mention that punitive justice exists also in a way where it is connected to institutions. take the faith and organized religion for example. the whole process is interrogated: what is sin? what sins are being punished? how? why? and what are the actual effects? be it jaime’s and brienne’s conversations/interactions with a bunch of different tertiary characters in affc, or cersei’s punishment in adwd. at the end of the day, she is punished for her body, for being a woman. she does not suffer “consequences” for her actual wrongs and the suffering she causes. she doesn’t really learn anything, and it will all just make her spiral more. the whole concept of punitive justice gets focused on especially with theon’s entire identity being withered away through torture. he experiences so much torment that there comes a point where he is robbed of his mind and agency. what does the “criminal” learn? how can a person change in these circumstances? what is the point, and why should we feel good about this? he is not even really “punished” for his crimes, and certainly not by people with any moral high ground over him, he is just being brutalized. same is the case with jaime in asos: it is a bad person being brutalized by men even more vile than he is, and they are not doing it because they want to deliver any justice to his victims. also, though the maiming does kickstart crisis with him specifically, it is not the determining factor when it comes to his reformation. this story is not actually saying that people can be, and should be, tortured into becoming better people, and if they can’t the solution is to just axe them. there is nuance, sure, mercy is not something everyone is entitled to in all circumstances. sometimes “mercy” towards certain evil people will lead to the enablement of the suffering of others, even entire populations. there are certainly circumstances where compromise isn’t an option. but, again, i dont think george is ever holding back on actually interrogating the moral quandaries when it comes to identifying cycles and ending them, and he is for sure not treating every single aspect of these conflicts as black and white. even tyrion murdering his father, who purposefully does have a very ironic and humiliating death scene, which is important thematically, doesn’t end in easy and feel-good catharsis, especially for tyrion, which doesn’t equal “oh, tywin should be forgiven and spared”.

all of this is also why i do not really see how events like the fall of house lannister (first of all, we know it is gonna include the likely very brutal deaths of two innocent small children), red wedding 2.0, valonqar etc would be these grand and glorious moments of justice and pay-off, treated as just the good guys finally getting an epic W. they will very likely be filled with tragedy, so i am genuinely curious about where these expectations for this kind of catharsis come from

#long post #and by catharsis i mean reveling in their suffering and feeling like justice was served #valyrianscrolls

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moult · 2 years

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paucinia hasn't been invited to a tournament for a long time (people tend to forget paucinia's there) so the council has to make some effort to discuss who'll represent them, even if the answer is obviously brigid

clockwise from far left: morton (wolf), beatrice (spaniel), agatha (afghan hound), ken (border collie), brigid (badger), phyllida (cat-skunk? i think?), four unnamed extras and benno (chihuahua)

brigid turning up to this meeting in chain mail isn't meant as a power move, she just wants to give them confidence she's ready and tooled up for the job

morton isn't disputing their choice so much as he's arguing that paucinia ought to decline on principle any invitations to tournaments because they're regressive glorifications of militarism. beatrice: well yeah, but it'll be fun, we ought to get out of the castle more often

agatha carries a torch for brigid and is heartstruck by her bravery (rightly, tournaments are dangerous). ken is mightily relieved that it's not him, but only because jousting etc is a huge faff and keeps you away from the beer tent

for phyllida it adds a fun new dimension to her ongoing flirtation with brigid. which is kind of irony-laden and mostly to tease others, since they both know brigid's chaste and unbothered and doesn't pick up those kind of signals anyway

and benno finally has something to tell in his dispatches home

(the extras, well - they're starved of gossip and this is all very exciting for them)

hello folks, good to be back making art again!

costumes plundered from the waterhouse and leighton wardrobes, plant cuttings taken from burne-jones and morris's gardens. i wanted to do a piece with lots of characters and the kind of flat quasi-perspective you see in some tapestries and murals. and i think there's some interesting kinship between furry self-indulgence and pre-raphaelite self-indulgence (or i just like them both)

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cuttinqlines · 3 years

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IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR

IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR I

(richard ramirez [ahs 1984] x reader | mainly implied xavier plympton x reader)

trigger warning; drug use, toxic relationships, mentions of abuse, toxic characters, xavier is portrayed as a major piece of shit for the first few installments, glorification of a serial killer, knives, etc.

disclaimer: i do not support the real richard ramirez in any way, shape, or form. this is simply based on the fictional version from ahs 1984. no disrespect is intended in any way. please, feel free to click off of the fic if you don’t enjoy this type of content. any hate will be ignored.

word count: ?

previous | next

BILLY IDOL blared softly out of the large window, casting an eerie echo out onto the empty street below. The street lights cast a soft glow into the otherwise dark apartment, illuminating your face. You sat alone on your bed clad only in the white lingerie you hadn’t bothered to strip out of. The dark silk sheets of your bed were lazily draped over you, your comforter discarded on the ground beside the bed. You stared up at the ceiling blankly. Your thoughts were racing, a mixture of deep-seated rage and numbness eating at you. The day had been shit to say the very least, with a certain blonde wanna-be actor to blame.

“Fuck,” you muttered out loud, rubbing both of your temples lightly, “I need a bump.”

Slowly sliding your legs out from under your sheets, you stepped down onto the floor. The cold air hit your legs, causing you to let out a barely audible hiss. You could hardly see in the darkness, only making out the faint outline of your vanity that was placed adjacent to the large window. The thought of turning on the light briefly crossed your mind, but you hardly wanted to see yourself in the mirror.

A soft sigh escaped your lips. Your hands fumbled around in the top draw of the vanity, searching for the mirrored tray that was tucked just out of sight. Through the noise of the shifting of the contents of the drawer, a soft thud of shoes against the marble tile sounded. You hardly would’ve noticed it if it had been any other day. You rarely paid attention to the little things going on around you, living only in your own little world. It was harder to get attached that way- harder to get attached to things, to people.

Tonight, though, you were on high alert. All of the hairs on the back of your neck seemed to stand up. You took a step back from the vanity, cringing as the wood floor beneath you seemed to creak. You heard the thud of shoes again, but it was louder. Closer. “Xavier-” you called out, your voice wavering slightly. “If that’s you, get the fuck out of my apartment.”

The sound of a deep laugh filled your ears. It was unfamiliar. You had definitely given away your location, that much was clear. There was a stranger, a criminal, in your home and you had lost the one advantage you might have had. “Guess again, baby girl.”

Chills ran down your spine. The intruder’s voice was sinister. Yet, you found yourself being drawn to it, despite every fiber of your being urging you to hide. It was as if the devil himself had crept in and came to collect your soul. A shiver ran through you. You needed to get it together. More importantly, you needed a weapon. Luckily, your vanity seemed to be full of them. Well, it was full of blunt objects and that was more than good enough for you. Dying was not on your agenda, especially not today.

You took a tentative step forward, careful not to step on the same creaky floorboard from a few moments ago. Spotting a lamp to the side of the vanity top, you reached for it with one hand while the other flicked the lights attached to the gaudy mirror. Most of the bulbs had burnt out previously, you not having been bothered enough to change them. You were rarely home most nights anyways. With three of the bulbs still burning, you would at least be able to see the guy coming, instead of continuing to stumble through the dark.

The sudden light seemed to attract the intruder, like a moth drawn to a lamp. You could see the tops of his shoes stop in front of the door. Nervousness flooded your veins, though you didn’t have it in you to be completely afraid. All of the fear that your body could have possibly held had been taken from you by someone else. Pushing the nervousness now, you took a silent step back towards the wall.

The door swung open quietly, your eyes quickly moved towards the dark figure who had just burst in. His dark eyes scoured your scantily clad body, stopping at the base of the lamp you had an iron grip on. His facial expression flickered from one predator eyeing his prey to amused. He let out another laugh. It seemed to make his face light up. In any other circumstances, you would be enchanted by his handsome features. “Is that seriously all you got? I hate to break it to you, but that won’t be enough to stop the Night Stalker.”

He grinned sinisterly. “You’ll be famous, though. I’m going down in history. Doing the master’s work always gets the headlin-” He stopped mid-sentence, his gaze meeting your face. He studied it for a moment, his eyes feeling as if they were burning holes into your skin. “What happened to your face? Did somebody else get you?”

You couldn’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously. Was this his version of playing with his food before eating it? Why would it possibly matter enough for him to stop his clearly well-rehearsed speech? Still, at the mention of your face, your free hand carefully went to the deep bruise that had blossomed underneath your left eye. “‘Did somebody else get me?’” You couldn’t help but mock. However, your tune quickly changed when his hand seemed to grip his blade a little tighter and his feet took him a step closer.

“Somebody else got me, yeah. They always do. You’re about to, too. A robbery gone wrong, am I right?” your voice had gone soft, bitterness etched into every word. You knew that you should be afraid and you were extremely prepared to knock him over the head with your lamp, but at least he was someone to talk to. Something that had become scarce in your daily life.

The man took a few more steps forward until he was face to face with you. His eyes met yours more intently than before as if they were searching for something. He shifted his blade to his left hand, slamming his right hand into the wall directly beside your face. He had you boxed in, the smell of cigarettes and cinnamon filling your nose. Your breath caught in your throat. He brought the blade up to your face, dragging his thumb ever so lightly across the bruise under your eye. He brought his hand down to softly caress your face, the blade scraping your skin too lightly to leave a mark. “You know,” he said after what felt like decades, “you look like a fallen angel. Like a flesh for fantasy.”

Your heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might escape your chest. Every word he spoke caused your heart to skip a beat. He had an intensity about him. It seemed to add gasoline to the fire that was already burning around you. “And you look like the devil.”

“I could never live up to that, but fuck I am trying- It’s the ones like you that make it difficult. There’s so much untapped potential that I can taste it. I can feel your rage, little mama. And it burns. Give it to us.” His voice was hardly more than a whisper now. He brought the blade down until it was caressing your throat.

You dropped the lamp. It landed on the floor with a dull thud and surprisingly didn’t shatter. You couldn’t move now. You didn’t want to. So many feelings were overwhelming you. You weren’t exactly sure what he meant when he said ‘Give it to us’, but you wanted to give it to him. The rage, the numbness, the evil, the ‘perfect’ life that had been eating you alive. You would have thrown it in the fire right then and there, but you held yourself back. “I can’t.”

Annoyance and anger shifted across his face and his right hand slammed into the wall harder. He pushed back, pulling the blade back from off of your throat. He tilted his head towards you, moving to whisper in your ear. His lips grazed against them slightly as he spoke. “Giving in to the rage isn’t so bad. You just don’t know how to be free. I can teach you. ”

He moved away from you, his eyes flickering over to the vanity. The tray of white powder and wads of cash caught his eyes. He took a step towards the vanity slowly. “You can think about it. I’ll find you soon. Satan will show me the way. Tonight though, the devil is owed his dues. I’m taking the coke and cash. Next time, I’m taking you. You know you want to dance with the devil, baby girl.”

Before you could let out another word, he was out the window and off into the night.

#ahs 1984 #ahs imagine #richard ramirez #x reader #zach villa #ahs fanfiction

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metvmorqhoses · 3 years

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What do you think about the theory that bellatrix was voldemort's last horcrux?

at first glance it might seem a very romantic thing to theorize, something that would physically prove to every detractor of the world the special connection bellatrix and voldemort shared, finally tangible, finally excusable, finally with rhyme and reason. yet i am afraid, not only literally nothing has ever led us to believe such a thing possible, let alone plausible, but the whole theory really does nothing if not leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

even talking about the possibility of something so personal, it's almost as if people spasmodically wanted to finally frame what bella meant to voldemort with an easily explainable reason, a reason that not only would literally put bella at the same level as nagini (a pet, a useful servant, maybe a cold hint of a friendship), but it would also finally imply that yes, voldemort cared but egoistically, he cared because part of himself was in her, and yes, voldemort screamed but it finally makes sense, she had the last piece of his immortality destroyed with her, of course he was devastated.

you see, it's almost as if everyone could not have peace until the mystery of this ever-powerful soulless man having a special relationship only with this one, single human being in existence would finally be eviscerated - and most of the time in a diminishing way.

voldemort genuinely cared. appalling, unacceptable! bellatrix must have been a horcrux, she must have been most useful to him, she must have drugged him with amortentia, no he must have drugged her with amortentia to produce an heir, no that child was never theirs in the first place, the cursed child isn't canon, right?

i mean, whether this theory is viewed from a bellamort shipper's perspective or from a hater's, the result is always bastardizing.

bellatrix wasn't a horcrux. do you want the most obvious reason why? voldemort would have never put anything of himself into someone he cared about. voldemort's self-glorification was hardly as abyssal as his self-hatred. he would have never marred bella, his finest creation, with a piece of himself. a child included, a child that could have taken his father's most hated face too no less (that's one of the reasons i think Delphi was an accident). one of the most subtle reasons he hated harry so much was precisely because he sensed himself in him and wanted to annihilate himself. this is one of the most poetic aspects of the entire saga and no one even ever notices. jkr with the cursed child could have taken the interesting route and make delphi herself voldemort's last surviving, unintended horcrux, made in the very act of creation and not through one of annihilation (therefore with unprecedented power of both “good” and “evil” in her, and with a real mean of resuscitating her father). while i never believed he didn't know harry was one, having delphi actually being one would have been beyond perfect.

but certainly bella was no horcrux and, although an incredible woman, she was hardly useful to voldemort and his cause to the point of going as far as he went for her, of risking that much, both at the department of mysteries and in the final battle. and that's only the part we know of.

what they shared isn't easily explainable. it's something that transcends reason, even a reason as iron-like as his. it's deeper, subtle, ineffable. the reason, if there's really one at all after all, lies far beyond everything the average fandom could ever think about. and this is precisely why this relationship is so special.

i think people should renounce trying to explain bellamort with magical, hp saga based special effects, and search for what they meant to each other in human nature, in how after all a monster can both carve his heart out and yet still feel it beating in his chest at the sight of one specific person.

that's the only kind of theory i care about.

#bellamort #lord voldemort #bellatrix black #bellatrix lestrange #hp #anon #asks/replies #one and one thousand stories lis told

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senadimell · 3 years

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Boromir for the character ask?

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: Honestly? His focus. He's a problem-solver. He focuses on whatever task is in front of him, and while he's the golden child, I honestly don't know if he'd be the best fit for Steward because he seems to be at his best when he's thinking about concrete solutions to discrete problems.

Oh! The other thing is that he evaluates the advice given to him for what it is, not based on the authority of the advisor. He’s not going to accept bad advice just because it comes from a trustworthy source, and he’s going to be honest about his thoughts. So he’ll trust and respect the advice of the council of Elrond, but not to the point where he doesn’t ask questions or question things that don’t make sense (I’m thinking about Caradhras here) It’s a good skill to have as the de-facto heir to Gondor, and it makes sense that he’s not in awe of elves or Gandalf and acts among them as a guest but also as an equal at least in political status, though his experience is vastly more limited.

At the same time, he’s not arrogant or haughty. He's a team player. He’s supportive of decisions for the most part, though where the ring is concerned, things get skewy. He’s not the kind of person to rub mistakes back in your face. He’s compassionate and understanding (which we see even in the way he treats Frodo as he strives for the Ring).

least favorite thing about them: Honestly Boromir doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I suppose his positive traits are also double-edged swords. Focusing more on the advice than the giver sort of has Feanor vibes? And you can see where his focus leads him when he talks to Frodo about why he wants the ring and how he would use it. He can see his corner of the world (Gondor) and his place in saving it (political, but primarily military leadership), and it’s his practicality, drive, and focus that the Ring exploits. He’s too busy thinking about what he must do to save the day that he misses the grander scheme (yet he’s doing it because he cares! he cares!).

brOTP: Um, Faramir, I guess. Though I guess it’d be kinda sweet if he’s got a brotherly relationship with Bergil. I can easily imagine Bergil hero-worshipping Boromir, and so I think it’d be sweet if Boromir did acknowledge him and know him by name.

OTP: none? look, I rarely ship and even more rarely out of canon.

nOTP: also none? Shelob? The Ring?

random headcanon: I dunno...

unpopular opinion: boromir has dark hair Sean Bean is an actor he’s not the only face

So I feel like there’s a bit of a structural problem with the LotR fandom. Characters are often written in pairs or as foils, and inevitably the comparison starts to turn towards “who’s better?” Then, if you don’t ship them, there’s a tendency to aggrandize one character’s virtues and minimize their flaws (which tends to happen everywhere), but then the comparison game starts. Because they have a paired character, the natural next step is to lionize your favorite by de-emphasizing the other character’s strengths and virtues (and sometimes also highlighting their flaws). (I’m not immune to this by far, btw, and am possibly about to engage in it.)

This happen the most with Frodo and Sam, but I think you also see it in Boromir and Faramir. Because obviously, in the books, Faramir is the golden child. Not in his father’s eyes, of course, but narratively speaking. And I have mad respect for him.

Most people don’t try and diss Faramir (because frankly. it’s hard. like, what are you going to say?), but there’s a tendency to downplay the fact that Boromir is his culture’s golden child, and Faramir...isn’t. Which isn’t to say Faramir isn’t beloved by those who know him, but his strengths are not valued in the same way that Boromir’s are. Faramir knows this. And given Boromir’s attitudes discussed above (how confidently he assumes his position in the world), I can’t believe he’s the 100% supportive, loving, sensitive, protective brother that fanon depicts him as. I don’t see how he can be.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe the brothers love each other deeply. But growing up with siblings has taught me that it’s possible to love someone and yet be deeply wounded by them due to the casual and inescapable intimacy of your relationship? You can share more inside jokes and weird stories than anyone, yet you can never get away from how deeply they know you--not your thoughts, but who you are at home and who you were when you were seven and how you acted when someone broke up with you or what you did when your parents were furious.

You also know exactly how you match up against them, because you will always exist as a unit. And because your relationship is as natural as the lens in your eye (you can’t imagine viewing the world without it), you forget about the other as a person and just say something and don’t think about how it hurts them. You can joke about this one thing and your sibling can carry around the hurt for years and you didn’t even know. And maybe the hurt isn’t even your fault--maybe they were just sensitive and you had no way of knowing, but the hurt doesn’t go away for the lack of malice. And even best-friend siblings are capable of malice towards each other at times.

So Boromir is good at things that Faramir isn’t, and Boromir knows it. He’s probably ribbed his brother in what he thinks is a playful way about when you’re going to shape up, or do X, or do Y, or why do you do that, anyways, or do you realize that’s a little unbecoming? maybe you should stop that. You know Father’s going to think that you’re... And he doesn’t realize how those slights can add up over the years. I do think he’s said things to his peers about his brother that have ended up hurting him. No matter how pure and nice he is, that sort of thing is unavoidable, and due to his cultural upbringing I don’t actually think he’d question the appropriateness of his attitude/acceptance and glorification of martial prowess at the expense of those who don’t have it in the same degree.

I think this passage is really telling:

For on the eve of the sudden assault a dream came to my brother in a troubled sleep; and afterwards a like dream came oft to him again, and once to me. 'In that dream I thought the eastern sky grew dark and there was a growing thunder, but in the West a pale light lingered, and out of it I heard a voice, remote but clear, crying: Seek for the Sword that was broken: In Imladris it dwells; There shall be counsels taken Stronger than Morgul-spells. There shall be shown a token That Doom is near at hand, For Isildur's Bane shall waken, And the Halfling forth shall stand. Of these words we could understand little, and we spoke to our father, Denethor, Lord of Minas Tirith, wise in the lore of Gondor. This only would he say, that Imladris was of old the name among the Elves of a far northern dale, where Elrond the Halfelven dwelt, greatest of lore-masters. Therefore my brother, seeing how desperate was our need, was eager to heed the dream and seek for Imladris; but since the way was full of doubt and danger, I took the journey upon myself. Loth was my father to give me leave, and long have I wandered by roads forgotten, seeking the house of Elrond, of which many had heard, but few knew where it lay.'

There’s so much you can read into this. Faramir has this dream, and he has it many times. We know he’s a lover of lore and no less devoted to his kingdom than Boromir, though his love is expressed differently. He is “eager” to heed the dream. So would I if I was having prophecy dreams all the time.

But is Faramir a member of the fellowship? No. Why? Because Boromir “took it upon himself.” He wanted to do it, he thought himself the better candidate (and Faramir the worse), and he argued his way into doing it against his father’s wishes. Coupled with Denethor’s later attitude towards Boromir, I’m inclined to believe Boromir was uniquely able to obtain this quest for himself because Denethor has a soft spot for him.

I find myself inclined to disregard Boromir’s account of Faramir’s motive (”how desparate was our need”), because it sounds like he’s justifying the appropriateness of his actions. If it’s just about the great need of the kingdom, it’s nothing personal that one brother goes and the other stays. That view implies that Faramir’s interest in this mission is primarily utilitarian in purpose, with a little academic curiosity--that is, it’s nothing personal. Doesn’t matter who goes! Not as long as we protect the kingdom! Which...just doesn’t square with his description of Faramir having repeatedly cryptic dreams that he wants to understand. I can almost guarantee that Faramir wants to know what those dreams meant more than Boromir.

It’s a bit tragic, because ultimately Faramir was more suited for the quest than Boromir (tramping about in the wilderness doesn’t seem to be a problem, he’s also a team player, and he’s much more willing to accept the power of the Ring/not downplay its personal danger, and would be able to see it in a bigger picture beyond just Gondor). Ultimately, though, if Boromir was the one to catch Frodo in Ithillien, the story would have a veeeeeeery different ending. (Gollum would likely be dead, and I can’t imagine he’d be inclined to just. let Frodo and Sam go free.)

I kind of view their relationship as a much less antagonistic version of Agravain and Gwalchmai from Gillian Bradshaw. (Agravain is more of a jerk than I can ever imagine Boromir being, and has a wicked temper).

Also none of this is to say that I don’t think he’s not protective of his brother.

So a lot of words to say: I don’t think the Boromir and Faramir relationship is as uwu cinnamon roll as it seems in fandom. I think they loved each other, but I think Boromir did have a tendency to take what he wanted when he thought he deserved it and not give it a second thought, even when it was at the expense of his brother. Sure, he’d defend his brother night and day, but I expect him to be a bit of a jerk, be unaware of the extent of his behavior, and also see little wrong with it (the ring quest seems to have crossed a line, by the way he justifies it).

Still, they do love each other deeply and genuinely. It’s just a little more conflicted.

song i associate with them: Requiem, from Dear Evan Hanson. Not a particularly creative association (and I don’t associate him with Connor at all), but his death comes as such a shock at the beginning of TTT and brings with it so many mixed feelings due to both their relationship and the circumstances of his death. Nobody’s mourning is straightforward: not Frodo, or Denethor, or Faramir, or Aragorn, or Merry, or Pippin. His absense is woven throughout TTT and even RotK, in plot and in emotion and in theme.

favorite picture of them:

Don’t really have a favorite, but this one is nice.

The Sean Bean runners-up: one, two

#asks #answers #boromir #did not think i had this many thoughts about boromir!#thank you so much for the ask!

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kitkatopinions · 3 years

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Honestly I don't mind 'rwby characters 'fetishize' their own weapons' which I don't even like the Fetish word but I get where they're coming from. Cause these kids make their own weapons, get them early on commissioned or handed down from their parents, they train with it, they're proficient with it and know every nook and cranny of it because how long they've had it. It is essentially an extension of them but the show doesn't delve into it much

Honestly, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all, if they weren't trying to portray war, trauma, battle, anti-military messages, etc. It'd be like, Kingdom Hearts Keyblades in my head, like 'yeah, it wouldn't matter if Roxas was just really attached to Oathkeeper and Oblivion, they're his keyblades, he's a boss, check the sweet moves.' That's a-okay, that doesn't matter, because Kingdom Hearts isn't trying to push any serious messages or being asked to be taken seriously (which, good, because lol "I'm already half Xehanort" is... Iconic in good and bad ways.)

If they're going to put anti-military messages into their show - which is already weird considering that as I've mentioned, the world building in RWBY makes society impossible to properly maintain without a militarized force like an army - then they need to commit. Glorification of weaponry and weapons is part of the problem with things like the army and the police. Of course it's not the main problem, but it is treated as super cool and boss and awesome to have these sweet guns. Especially in TV shows about these various militarized forces and law enforcement.

You ever see that cop show, with the one character who is just so attached to their weapon, how it's funny or cool or hot that they always have a gun on them, or fantasize about shooting people, or give their guns names and call them 'baby' and freak out if their gun is damaged? You ever see that cop show where the character is at the shooting range and can make kill shot after kill shot, and it's so impressive, or it's meant to show you how dedicated they are, and other characters are always making these faces like "wow, now I can see that you're going to be good at your job." You ever see that cop show where they joke about one of their characters being trigger happy, where they joke about how they've possibly killed someone or definitely killed someone at some point, how it's portrayed as good police work when they threaten to shoot someone to get information out of them?

Glorification of weapons and weapon usage is a problem in narratives that are meant to be taken as serious commentary on things like war, military, and police (and it's a problem even in comedy driven shows centering police in the real world, but that's another story,) because of things like this. It's very weird to use weapons glorification in a show where they're trying (and failing) to give serious commentary on police forces. I wouldn't have blinked twice at Ruby cuddling her weapon and calling it by name and oohing and awwing about other weapons, if not for the suddenly pushed messages of mostly volume eight. In fact, I didn't blink at this until recently. It's like the Ruby being fifteen-seventeen and the others being seventeen-nineteen during this story. I wouldn't care about that at all because it'd be basic anime/cartoon rules, if it wasn't for season eight pushing the message that teens and young adults shouldn't be allowed near battlefields.

I'm not against the idea of some weapon glorification in a show like RWBY, it's just bothersome when you consider the new anti-military commentary on police forces angle.

NOTE: To clarify, I am anti-war, anti-military, anti-police, and pro gun control, I just don't think those things always apply to fantasy media, especially if said media isn't trying to make serious commentary.

#rwde #anti rwby #rwby hate #rwby bashing #anti mkek

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lilytriestoexist · 4 years

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aeIin gaIathynius, queen of terra/sen colonialism

i'm sure countless other (and far superior) antis have already dissected this disgusting section but i'm tired and full of rage so let's get started.

[all the excerpts are italicised and taken from Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Ma/as, pages 1083-1085 (at least, in my ebook)]

“You could, you know,” R0wan said, his tattoo stark in the lantern light. “Take it [the world] for yourself. Take it all. Use Maeve’s bullshit maneuvers against her. Make good on that promise.”

hmm just because you can doesn't mean you should! though i suppose i can cut him a tiny amount of slack as he's been in doraneIIe/in maeve's service his whole life and doesn't really understand the consequences of colonialism, which the people of eriIea were well acquainted with due to adarIan's imperialism. still though, not off to a great start from r0wan.

“There was no judgment. Only frank calculation and contemplation. “And would you join me if I did? If I turned conqueror?”

“You would unify, not pillage and burn. And yes—to whatever end.”

that...is such an idealised take on colonialism. i get that he hasn't experienced it first-hand and probably doesn't understand the ramifications of greedy imperialist nations trying to 'unify' countries that never asked to be unified and don't want to be unified, but come on. does r0wan/sarah think the other eriIean nations would bow down and kiss aeIin's feet if she strutted up to them and demanded they join her empire? that's not realistic at all. these are independent nations with divergent cultures; they wouldn't just throw their lot in with terra/sen. there'd be fighting and conflict, and since aeIin's still got some of her fire gift, there'd be burning. though sarah probably would like to think that aeIin's just that good of a queen they'd be eager to be vassalised.

also, 'to whatever end', especially in this content, bothers me a lot. i know it's meant to be romantic and a declaration of love and devotion, but you shouldn't just follow and agree with your significant other blindly? if they mess up or say something harmful you should call them out on their mistakes. it's how people grow. validating their bad behaviour no matter what out of so-called love isn't emblematic of a healthy supportive relationship! if your partner suggests colonising other nations please don't go along with it!

He nodded. “But if you could … would you?”

For a heartbeat, she could see it—see her face, carved into statues in kingdoms so far away they did not even know Terrasen existed. A living god—Mala’s heir and conqueror of the known world. She would bring music and books and culture, wipe out the corruption festering in corners of the earth …

not only is this gross, this is also wildly inconsistent with the trauma she's faced in the past. first of all, this is such blatant idealisation and glorification of colonialism that i want to throw my phone at the wall. the fact that aeIin is even entertaining this idea, even justifying it in her head, is disgusting. music and books and culture? bitch, they already have their own music and books and culture. they're civilised nations, not poor barbaric cave dwellers just begging for their white saviour to come and show them the light. this is exactly the kind of mindset that led to western imperialism - white people thinking that other countries need to be westernised in order to be successful and civilised, as if they didn't already have rich, ancient culture and history that was ignored in favour of spreading western ideals and western power.

and more than that, as i saw another anti elaborate wonderfully on (i can't recall the @ but it was very great and articulate - edit: it was @bleeding-star-heart) aeIin was herself a victim of adarIan's imperialism. the king of adarIan wiped out terra/sen's royal family apart from her and basically took control of the country, bringing it into his adarIanian empire. all the trauma in her life happened as a result of adarIan's imperialism and empire-building. so why is she entertaining the idea of becoming a conqueror herself? it doesn't make sense and it doesn't add up with what's happened in her past. i am an avid disliker of aeIin but if her characterisation was consistent she would abhor colonialism (she's arrogant and powerful but with everything she's suffered leading back to colonialism it's not right for her to buy into it).

She said softly, “Not now.”

“But later?”

“Perhaps if being queen bores me … I’ll think about making myself empress. To give my offspring not one kingdom to inherit, but as many as the stars.”

what's with this goddamn romanticism of colonialism?? 'as many [kingdoms] as the stars' FUCK. OFF. @ sarah don't use pretty flowery prose to try and paint colonialism as some sort of gift for rowaeIin's future super special progeny. the word choice is deliberating pushing a pro-imperialism narrative and it's so utterly disgusting. conquering other countries isn't cute!! building an empire for no reason other than your own greed is not cute!!!

There was no harm in saying it, anyway. In thinking about it, stupid and useless as it was. Even if wondering about the possibilities … perhaps it made her no better than Maeve or Erawan.

at least she fucking admits it lol.

also, i'm editing this to add that this scene could've been a great scene to highlight greed and arrogance as aeIin's flaws. this discussion of colonialism could've been used to characterise and develop aeIin. but it's a shit scene because sarah can't stand her precious aeIin having flaws so she, through r0wan, validates and justifies the idea of empress aeIin instead of calling out imperialism and allowing her protagonist to have meaningful flaws. also, this is the woman we're expected to root for to become queen of terra/sen. and at the end of the series she does become queen. my thoughts would be different if t0g had subverted the lost heir trope and ended with aeIin recognising she isn't prepared to be queen and giving up her claim to the throne, but it didn't, and so this scene isn't a character building, ending hinting scene, but instead a useless at best, grossly pro-imperialism at worst scene.

#long post #anti tog #anti sjm #anti aelin #anti aelin galathynius #anti rowan #anti rowan whitethorn #anti rowaelin #anti colonialism #anti imperialism

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xmanicpanicx · 3 years

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Romanticized Things That Aren't Actually Romantic

1) The "shut up" kiss

It happens in more movies, TV shows, and novels than I can even count. One half of the couple (usually a woman or girl) will be talking, and the other person (usually a guy) will suddenly lay an ol’ sloppy one on her mouth. Often times, she’s rambling about her insecurities, so some people think it’s cute when he kisses her, symbolically laying her worries to rest. Don’t worry, hon! There’s nothing to be insecure about! He likes you! There are two big problems with this. The first is that when someone is speaking, you shouldn’t cut them off; best case scenario, it’s rude. Of course, people cut each other off all the time in conversation, so that’s different. But when a character interrupts another character’s speech to kiss them, they are essentially prioritizing their sexual desires over the other person’s need to express themselves. It’s an action that has an agenda. Everyone wants to be truly listened to when they speak. So if, for example, we have a female character babbling about her insecurities, the male character should hear her out, and then respond to what she says. There is plenty of romantic potential in words — even more than in kisses, in my opinion. His response could still be a kiss after she’s finished speaking (as long as it’s not a rattlesnake-strike type of kiss that doesn’t give her a choice). However, we still have another problem: the female character’s self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent upon the male character’s opinion of her. In other words, a kiss from a guy, no matter how much she loves him, will not and should not heal her negative perception of herself. Not healthy. Real people and characters should accept themselves on their own terms rather than on the approval of others.

Sometimes, the sudden kiss will come in the middle of a female character’s angry rant. The male character thinks she’s cute or sexy when she’s angry, which can be frustrating and patronizing for anyone who voices their anger because they want to be listened to and taken seriously. But regardless of why the character is talking, the other character should stop kissin’ and start listenin’.

2) Female double standards

Women and girls often feel really uncomfortable when men objectify them and make comments on their bodies, so they call these men out — and rightfully so. They also call male authors out for only describing women in terms of their bodies and giving them very little, if any, personality. Once again, rightfully so. Unfortunately, in real life and in literature, there is a double standard here. It’s one thing to write an erotic novel in which bodies of every gender are described in explicit detail and with an express purpose. But I’ve read novels without any sexual content that go into so much detail about guys’ looks. And these male characters are often not well-developed, either (think of the stereotypical jock with a hot bod and no brain). Authors — especially female authors, who are usually the ones perpetuating this — need to do better than this. If it's not okay to do that to girls, it's not okay to do that to guys, either. Also, what is up with that scene from The Notebook? The one where Rachel McAdams repeatedly slaps Ryan Gosling because he’s breaking up with her. How on Earth is that okay? The Notebook is widely considered to be a super-romantic movie, but there is nothing romantic about that scene, and it should be a deal-breaker for their relationship. If the tables were turned and Ryan Gosling slapped Rachel McAdams for breaking up with him, the entire plot of the movie would be different. It would be a thriller, a story about a woman trying to escape a scary ex. We would never root for the two of them to get back together.

3) Overly-metaphorical sex scenes

Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Would you like some crust and tomato sauce with all that cheese? So many novels shy away from the anatomical details and favor metaphors for how the sex makes the characters (or just the narrating character) feel. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this, but I personally tend to roll my eyes more often than not at the actual execution. The narrator will say something too dramatic, like “our bodies became one and the universe opened up before me.” Or “and then we were flying, soaring with and through one another.” Or something else that is just… not sexy. As far as being poetic, there isn’t anything special about those phrases, either. There is nothing wrong with describing sex as it really is. I realize that novels featuring sex that are aimed at young adults probably cannot describe things too explicitly, but there’s no need to replace dirty details with flowery language. Go for whatever sincerity you can in the situation. There are plenty of different emotions to mine and sensual details leading up to the actual sex that read more thrillingly than the sex scene itself.

4) Instalove

It's simply not as much fun to see characters fall for each other right away. And how could they possibly fall for each other right away, anyhow? Is it all about looks? If so, both characters are instantly less likable because they're shallow. And that's not real love, either. You need to actually know someone in order to feel a such a deep emotion for them.

It's also important to note that making the characters "love" each other at the outset of the story does not heighten the emotional stakes. It actually cheapens them. Because how can we take this so-called love seriously when we don't get to know, don't get to care about, the characters as individual people before they fall for each other?

Now, if we get to know each character and watch them get to know each other, and slowly fall for each other, that's much more rewarding. It's character growth, and it's a whole process that we, as readers, get to experience vicariously though them.

This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's best to even avoid phrases like “my heartbeat skipped” or “my skin tingled when our hands brushed” in the beginning stages of the story. Even though the declarations of love and outright displays off affection may come later on, statements like these reveal instant attraction, which still isn't as rewarding as attraction that grows over time and through events.

5) Love interests being obsessed with each other

From approximately 2005-2015, YA literature saw a horde of books featuring teenage girls and boys who are everything to each other. I almost mean that literally. The first really popular book like this was Twilight, but it had a huge influence on everything in YA that came after, especially YA fantasy. How romantic, some people think, that hero lives for the heroine! And vice versa! Perfect! Meant to be! Everyone wishes they could have that one, true, perfect love!

Listen. Go back to Britney Spears’s first album and play the song “Born to Make You Happy”: ”I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.” Solid 90s bubblegum pop, but with unhealthy lyrics. An unhealthy mentality. Most of us are familiar with that heady, all-consuming feeling of falling in love, how it feels like that’s the best and happiest part of life as it’s happening. There’s nothing wrong with portraying that. It’s relatable. The glorification of it beyond all else is the problem. The hero and heroine have scares throughout the story during which they almost lose each other, and that brings to light just how strongly they feel each other, to the extreme that nothing matters except each other. Then, of course, they ultimately end up together, happily ever after, never having to part again. But in real life, people break up, or sometimes even die. People have no choice but to be apart from the person they loved so much from then on. And it’s devastating, but it’s not the end, even if it sometimes feels like it. That’s why it’s so important for books to give some indicator that there are other things that matter besides (and dare I say even more than) the one person the hero/heroine is in love with. The characters have to have some sense of self-love or resilience. They have to have other people they care about, or at least values/principles and goals. They have to be an actual person, not just a vessel filled to the brim with love for just one other person. Romanticizing a co-dependent relationship can be hope-crushing message, especially for teenagers who haven’t had enough time to grow, to weather the storm of life and toughen up and become wiser and more self-aware and self-confident.

7) The super dominant male love interest

Okay, I’m not trying to kink-shame anyone because I know there are people who absolutely love this trope. I want to say it’s fine, as long as it remains in Tropeland. But even if women want to keep these love interests solely within their fantasies, I do worry about the message it sends to men, if it makes them think that they can be abusive douchebags because women are into that. I already know of far too many men who think that women are only into assholes.

Personally, I’ll never understand the appeal of a man, fictional or otherwise, who dictates what a woman should wear, her food choices, where they go and what they do for dates ALL THE TIME. And jealousy! Sure, jealousy indicates that someone cares, and it’s a normal human emotion, but I’ll never understand the appeal of a guy who gets so jealous, he won’t allow his girlfriend any freedom. I’ll never understand how cruel, disparaging words could ever be on the same sexiness level as dirty talk. And I really, really will never understand how a man physically harming a woman could be considered sexy. It’s weak and cowardly, hurting someone who doesn’t stand a chance of fighting back because they’re nowhere near as strong.

I get the appeal of a guy who sees a woman as his equal and isn’t afraid to spar with her, challenge her, and maybe even be a little bit rough with her, knowing that she can handle it. I see the appeal of a confident man who isn’t afraid to tell a woman what he wants. When his presence becomes legitimately threatening and completely selfish, that’s when I personally see a problem. But hey, to each their own.

#writing #writing advice #ya fiction #writing rants #writing rambles

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rudra-writes · 4 years

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Why am I writing this character?

A while ago, I was questioned why I would choose to write a fan fiction for a character many people found repugnant. It was difficult for me to respond to that question, because my reasons for doing so are personal and complex, and I feel are best answered in the writing itself.

To answer this question without requiring someone to read my story, I’ve chosen to write this post. (There will be story spoilers for Final Fantasy XIV's Stormblood expansion, also mentions of physical and verbal abuse and trauma.)

When I first saw the character of Grynewaht, I didn’t think much of him at all. He was inferred to be stupid and crude, and he clearly had a hate-on for the Warrior of Light (player character). He was widely thought to be ugly - he certainly wasn’t beautified like many of the other npcs in the game.

His English voice actor also hammed him up, complete with a bellicose belly laugh that put most Saturday morning cartoon villains to shame.

Furthermore, he was played off of Yotsuyu, who I found to be an unlikable, grating character due to the (similarly cartoonish) level of cruelty she imposes on others.

I barely gave these characters a second thought. Until I watched two scenes that made me rethink what I was seeing.

The first was the scene where Yotsuyu forces Grynewaht to beat Gosetsu, who is their captive at this point in the story. Grynewaht utters a couple of lines that could very easily be overlooked.

Most people (including myself, when I first saw this scene) seem to respond emotionally to his snarled promise of vengeance upon the player character. But there’s more that’s shown, but not told: Grynewaht doesn’t want to beat Gosetsu. He doesn’t relish the act of beating someone who’s defenseless. He does it only because Yotsuyu bullies him into it.

The second scene was this one.

Zenos (the commanding officer to both of these characters) cruelly pulls on Yotsuyu’s hair, and tells her if she loses control of Doma, her life is forfeit. The moment Zenos leaves the room, Grynewaht immediately asks if she’s okay, then offers to help her to her feet.

The scene is set up to be humorous, as instead of accepting his help, Yotsuyu slaps him so hard he’s sprawled out on the floor afterward. However, it doesn’t change the fact that Grynewaht is suggested to care about Yotsuyu’s well-being. Being that Grynewaht is implied to be too dense to attempt games of pandering, I believe the concern he shows in this scene is genuine.

Did Grynewaht care? Could this loutish, comic relief character actually have a heart? It was this intriguing question that prompted me to explore a story where this was, in fact, the case.

As I began my story, and expressed my interest in the characters to my friend @autumnslance, she helpfully passed me some lore-related information from the first Encyclopaedia Eorzea book. One of them gave me a missing piece of info that suddenly made Grynewaht’s character painfully clear.

He was 20 years old. He was the equivalent of a minor.

Taken in this light, the character’s actions make more sense. He’s a strapping young roe lad from Ilsabard who joined the Garlean army to gain citizenship. He’s not particularly smart, but he is very strong, and it’s this sheer might that allows him to become a captain - a feat that was probably very difficult for him to achieve, given the Garlean prejudice towards non-Garlean races.

I also have a theory that he doesn’t understand what the Warrior of Light is. All he sees is another warrior, no different from many he’s defeated on the battlefield before. Thus, he can’t comprehend why the player character is able to win, again and again.

Further, the player character strips him of his captaincy, resulting in him being demoted to playing bodyguard to a woman who emotionally and physically abuses him, and forces him to do things that are psychologically painful for him. It’s natural he would resent the player character for causing this.

I believe the point of Grynewaht’s story arc in the game is to demonstrate the cruelty and dehumanization of the Garlean Empire, even to its own people, which seems to be a recurring theme of the Stormblood expansion. So while Grynewaht isn’t a good person, the same way I couldn’t call Yotsuyu a good person, I believe they’re both meant to be depicted as victims of the Empire.

Yotsuyu herself is an abuse survivor, which is explored in her in-game story arc. I personally didn’t really like how her arc went for a variety of reasons (a friend described it as a glorification of trauma).

My story explores the concept of these two characters, who are both heavily flawed in their own ways, unexpectedly forming a bond, and then helping each other rise above their grief and internal blockages. Yotsuyu makes the decision to stop abusing Grynewaht in my story, which was important to me because I strongly disliked watching her abuse him. Trust is slowly exchanged, and the seeds of character growth are planted.

My goal with this fic is to tell my own version of Yotsuyu’s story arc, in a way that shows compassion for both her character, and Grynewaht.

If you’re one of the people who’s been reading along… Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I’ve invested a huge number of hours, tears, and love into this story, and these characters who I used to not like at all have become very dear to me.

#ffxiv #Stormblood #personal

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amelia-pinches · 4 years

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TW// SEXUAL ASSAULT AND RAPE

I found some things that I find to be extremely disturbing and wrong today, and I wanted to address them. These posts have content containing rape and sexual assault. I included the posts because I think it’s important to talk about, however, if they are too upsetting or triggering for anyone, let me know. I blocked out the usernames in those posts because I do not want any hate going towards those accounts. Most of those accounts are deactivated or inactive anyways, but there is a chance that the people who contributed to those made new accounts. If that is true, I want to say that I like to believe people change and grow for the better. I do not hate the people who posted this, despite the fact that I am utterly disgusted. I do not know these people. I do not know how old they were, nor do I know what they were going through when they made this. I do not know who they are today. I like to think that they look back on that, and they are disgusted at it. I like to think that they have changed and are a different person now with different beliefs. If you are one of the people, please know this isn’t meant to be a “cancel” post or a hateful post. However, I cannot see that, and pretend that I am not utterly bothered. I cannot pretend how it hurts me, as a sexual assault survivor. I cannot pretend that it doesn’t paint a damaging image of sexual assault and rape. Therefore, I think it is necessary to talk about it and address it to the fandom. The HOA fandom has done wonders for me since I recently joined. I genuinely consider some of mutuals as friends. The people I have met in the HOA fandom have been some of the best people I have ever met in my entire life. I do not think that these posts accurately reflect anything for the HOA fandom, in the past or present. Please note that this post contains very heavy topics and may be extremely triggering for some to read. It is triggering me for me to write about it. The pictures included may not be graphic, but they are upsetting and disgusting.

I was trying to find screencaps of K.T. for a twitter mutual when I came across this account. The account seemed harmless enough; some of the posts I found to be quite amusing, actually. Then, I came across this photo of Rufus holding Patricia by her arms with his hand over her mouth. In the corner of this photo was a “Brazzers” logo. When I first saw this, I froze. I couldn’t believe my eyes. To implicate that would be consensual in any way is awful. Furthermore, it brings up the question on how this person feels about rape and sexual assult. Often times, in porn and in media, there is this perspective of rape that makes it seem like it is just another form of sex. I will not hate on anyone if they have a headcanon that Rufus raped Patricia. If I am being honest, that headcanon helped me cope in a way. Seeing my favorite character being able to heal, and for my own personal headcanon/hoa world, to see her become a strong woman who has healed from her trauma has helped me cope and heal with my own trauma. If you are someone who does not like this canon, I respect that and think that is 100% valid. What I will NOT stand for is the glorification of this headcanon.

I decided to look at the reblogs on the post to see what people were saying. What I found made me sick to my stomach.

“Is there something you need to tell Eddie, Patricia?” To suggest that would be something other than rape and that is something to tease someone about, like it is a dirty secret, like it is an embarrassing hookup story or a crazy night. The response was by an account acting as Patricia, to which it said, “I think I’ll leave that to ‘your uncle’”. This frankly boggles my mind. I do not know how to describe it, if I am being honest. There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start. I do not know what the perfect sentence would be to explain why this isn’t okay, or how damaging it is. I do not how to concisely describe my thoughts and feelings on this. This sad part is, this wasn’t even the worse thing I read. When someone is raped or sexually assaulted, it makes them feel worthless, dirty, cheap. It changes your life. It affects how you view others and how you go about situations. It affects how you see yourself. It affects your entire life, and some people never truly recover.

For “Patricia” to blow it off like it is nothing, worries me. I am worried because I am afraid people don’t understand how ruinous rape and sexual assault is on a human being. It worries me because I know first hand how it can destroy you, and others see it as nothing or as if it just a variation of sex.

It is common in media to have this portrayal of rape. It is glorified and romanticized. It can be subtle or direct; sometimes it is just a slide remark made by a character or person, or sometimes a rape victim will be shamed or ridiculed for being raped. We take in this perspective as we grow up, and consequently, it shapes the way we view people. It causes us to dehumanize the victim rather than the rapist.

Its why I want to reiterate that I do not hate the people who made this, nor do I see them as bad people. They probably were young and didn’t understand the gravity of this. They, like many of us, were ignorant because of what we are told and what we see. I think many people forget that the support towards victims as been very recent. The Me Too Movement may have started in 2006, but it didn’t become viral until 2016. Before then, survivors coming forward with their stories were very rare and people almost never believed them. A vast majority of people blamed them and/or shamed them for coming forward. It wasn’t really until 2017 with the Me Too Movement that we, as a society and culture, really saw a shift where people were coming out with their own stories, and where they were seen as valid. It is important to note that while today there are many people who are supportive of rape and sexual assault survivors, there is a still a good portion of people who belittle them and try to invalidate them.

With that being said, I will talk about the next post I saw. This post made nauseous. My heart when I saw this because it is clear whoever made this did not truly understand rape. They did not truly understand how serious rape is. They did not understand that rape is not a joke. I think the best way to describe it is ignorance.

In case y’all do not remember, Nick did a season 2 interactive web where they made connections to everyone in relation to their involvement with the mystery and sibuna/secret society. This person changed the relationship of Rufus to Patricia from “Kidnaps” to “Rapes”. The caption was “fixed the connections.”

I know it may be hard to understand because I blocked out the usernames, but I’ll explain what each reply is. “WHAT EVEN?” is a blog acting as Eddie. “...” is a blog acting as Jerome. “..uhhh...” was a blog acting as Patricia. The one asking what the picture is about is a random blog as far as I can tell, probably genuinely asking what is about, but since so much time as passed since this post, it is possible the url changed. The last one is another blog posing as Eddie.

There was another set of replies which was this:

The first comment is supposed to be “Eddie”. The second one was supposed to be victor, or it could have been another url at the time. The last one was supposed be Eddie again.

I don’t know what the first one is. At first, I took it as they all saw it as a joke, and were responding as they would imagine the characters would respond. (NOTE: No character accurately written would respond to this in manner). However, looking at it again, it could have been their way of maybe being uncomfortable or disagreeing with it. Except for the last one posing as Eddie, that one I know they took it as a joke and were making fun of the situation.

As for the second one, I am once again lost for words. The casual use of “rape” scares me for the same reason it worries me. I think it is obvious who made this and commented on this saw rape as a joke and/or saw it as sex. Sex and rape are not the same. The second comment talking how its a small world because “Jerome’s uncle” raped Patrica and how it somehow all leads back to Eddie really angers me. The thing is, if you took the use of rape and replace with “Had sex with” or any variation of that, it would have the same meaning and tone as the original. That is very dangerous. Then the final comment where Eddie is upset at Patricia for not telling him about being raped is just tacky beyond words. It is cheap and ugly.

The overall tone of rape being a joke and the use of the word acting a synonym for sex is poisonous. It disparages what rape really is. It shrinks it down and changes its meaning. I do not blame the people who made this and commented this. Instead, I blame the way rape culture as taken over media and our lives for decades, centuries, generations. I blame the rapists who have power that put that attitude out there. It would be negligent for me to say these people had no responsibility or liability for posting this. However, I feel it would more negligent for me to say this is just them; that these people are the only ones who have made this jokes and who have believed these misconceptions about rape.

There were other posts made by the account that I considered posting, however, I don’t want this to be a callout or an attempt to barbarize. The accounts that made that and commented were people. People with flaws, and people with assets. People who were susceptible and vulnerable to harmful media.

I don’t know who made these posts. I do not know if they ever faced backlash or consequences. I do not know if these people are still even in the HOA community. I didn’t scourge 2011 HOA posts to see if anyone else made posts similar to this, or if anyone called them out on it. I didn’t ask anyone who is was in the fandom at that time if anything happened. I don’t know if they still hold these beliefs. I don’t know if they even remember making these posts. It is why I blacked out their names.

The people contributed to this are both culprit and victims of a much larger issue. On one hand, they were manipulated by media and rape culture. On the other, they help perpetuate it. It is why it needs to be addressed.

I am fairly new to the HOA community. I know that some day my blog will become a lost blog deleted by bots. I know some day people won’t remember a lick of what I posted or who I was. I know this. I know also that behind the screens, we are all just people, with our stories and lives. I know that we all have made mistakes and have said things that weren’t okay because maybe we didn’t know it wasn’t okay or at the time, we were too stupid to care. I know in 5 years none of us will be the same person we are today. I know none of us are the same person we were 5 years ago. We grow and change, sometimes for the worse, but I like to think we eventually change for the better.

These comments and posts made are just small flecks of similar posts made during that time, before that time, and still today. Rape jokes, pedophilia jokes, sexual jokes about a person’s body are all jokes that are made today. And they will be unfortunately made tomorrow. The way we make change is by informing people of what the true nature of these crimes are. We share stories, and support survivors of sexual assault.

I mentioned that I was sexually assaulted. It is very hard for me to talk about, and I try to avoid it. However, today, I was reminded multiple times of how I am still traumatized by what happened to me. Yesterday, I planned on never really speaking out about it except for once in a blue moon. Today, my plans have changed. The truth of the matter is, I have been sexually assaulted many times. Many of those times I didn’t really realize what happened until much later. Even recently, I am now remembering something that happened to me as a child that I blocked for 14 years. Recently, I am now realizing how all of these have affected me and made me who I am today. I don’t think that if the Me Too Movement took off in 2017 that I would have ever realized. I don’t think that if I didn’t see other people sharing their own sexual assault stories that I would ever have the courage to post this.

This is my own personal story and journey. I debated posting this because I still hold the fear that I would be judged or hated for speaking out. However, the things that have happened to me today have caused me to want to overcome that fear. My goal of sharing my own story is that it either helps anyone who is debating sharing theirs or to anyone who may need to hear someone’s story to be educated on rape culture. In the end, I talk about the events that happen to me today leading up to me discovering the posts, and why I felt it was necessary to talk about it. I know for some people it could be triggering or harmful to read this, so I put in italics, if anyone so chooses to skip over it. If you have made it this far and you don’t want to read my story, that is fine. I urge you to however to skip it and read the ending.

When I was 14, I was desperate for friends and well, attention. I never had many friends growing up, and I never was considered attractive. I know it seems so trivial and ridiculous to care about something like beauty. Growing up, I had a lot of body image issues and self esteem issues - its something I still struggle with today. I didn’t have many friends, either. I was either too abrasive and weird, or in some cases, I didn’t have much in common with kids, thus boring or uninteresting. I was the weird kid in elementary school, then the emo kid in middle. My last year of middle school, I really started to want to be seen as a “girl”; I wanted to be seen as “sexy” or “attractive”. I wanted to be seen as someone who was someone you wanted to be around. I felt that before, nobody had seen me as such. I don’t know if that is necessarily true or false. However, that is how I felt.

When I entered high school, for what seemed like the first time in my life, people were paying attention to me. People were complimenting me, and I was making friends. They weren’t all good friends, but, in my mind, they were friends. People who I thought liked me. I was getting hit on, which didn’t happen much before. I became addicted to the feeling of being liked and desired. For the longest time, I blamed and hated myself for that. I beat myself up for years because that strong desire to be desired led me to awful situations. For a while, I saw myself as what others, mainly men, saw me as: an object. I saw myself as a tool for entertainment, and I genuinely thought that I was here for the pleasure of others, not my own.

I didn’t realize at the time that those boys weren’t into me because they liked me. They were into me because I was an easy target. I was an incoming freshman who was extremely insecure. Within the first semester, I was manipulated and tricked into many situations, most of them being sexual. I gained the reputation of being a “slut” or a “whore” by some of the people in my school. I was miserable. However, towards the end of the semester, things were starting to get better, or so I thought.

A boy(I will call him R from now on) who had been a mutual friend of my friends asked me to hang out, I said yes. I honestly wasn’t looking for a relationship or a hookup, but rather, I was looking for a friendship. I had just started dating a guy, and we had been two or so weeks in. That night, he sexually assaulted me. After that, it happened two more times in the days following.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell people the details of what happened or the full story. Partially because I have blocked so much of it out that I don’t remember that much anymore; I remember bits and pieces, but not everything. The other reason being because of what happened when I eventually spoke out.

A week later, I had told my boyfriend at the time. He had accused me of lying, and he told me that I was just saying he that so I wouldn’t have to admit I had cheated on him. After that, everything is a big blur. I remember R would text and call me constantly, demanding that I tell everyone I was lying. He harassed me constantly. I remember that many people who were my friends had turned against me. Almost everyone I had met had told me I was lying. When I went to a guidance counselor, she told me that I should be more careful hanging out with boys alone. There had also been people who had criticized me for not wanting to take it to court. They had told me that if R was guilty, he would be charged. When I told him that a court wouldn’t charge him (something the guidance counselor told me), they used it as proof to me “lying”. There were also people telling me that I was asking for it, and I deserved it.

Eventually, they left me alone, for the most part. There was a group of people who had “supported” me. I started to pretend like it never happened. I quickly got a boyfriend, and acted like everything was fine. I thought that if I pretended like it never happened, everyone else would just forget about it. However, internally, I was seriously struggling. I was extremely suicidal and depressed. I found out months later the group I thought were my friends were actually the ones telling everyone and spreading rumors. Every action I made was used as proof of my supposed guilt. There was only one person who believe me at the end of the year.

Over the summer, I begged my parents to let me be home-schooled, which they didn’t let me. I didn’t go on any social media because when I did, I would see posts about me, talking about how “I lied about being raped”. I felt worthless. When I returned for my sophomore year, I remember I walked into my Algebra 2 class, and one of the main girls who had bullied me was in it. I remember she looked at me and grinned then walked over to a friend of hers and loudly whispered in his ear, “That’s the girl who lied about being raped.”

That year, I did everything I could to try and mend it. I attempted to become friends again with that group, including the girl. I did my best to forget it; however, nobody let me forget. I remember I was on a class trip with the best friend of the main bully and R, and we talked about it, briefly. I remember I was saying answers very vaguely, hoping she would eventually give up,I remember her saying, “Well, I heard it was because you lied about being raped by R.” I don’t remember what I told her after that. I honestly can’t remember what happened after that at all.

I was constantly making friends then losing friends that year. I became defensive; I was constantly attacking anyone who I thought threatened me. I really began to have trust issues, and I ended up assuming the worst of some of the only good people in my life. Everyday, I came to school so anxious and scared. Towards the end of the year, I found a friend group, to which I was friends with for practically the rest of the my high school experience. I was known to be a hothead (which to be fair, I am) because the moment someone would insult me, I would go off on them. I figured that if I couldn’t defend myself then, I would do it now. I also never spoke about my assault again, until recently. I told two people from my high school friend group; over the summer I told one person, and a few months ago, I had told the person to which I had been closest to since sophomore year. I have never told the rest of the group. I was always afraid that they secretly knew and they thought I was lying. I also was afraid that if I told them, and they already didn’t think I was lying, they would.

Truth be told, I don’t know if everyone I knew thought I was lying. I was told everyone did, but that could have just been a way to make me feel powerless. I assume everyone does though .Even people who would have no idea that it happened, I assume they think I am lying about my assault despite the fact there is no way for them to have known. I’m still paranoid.If I see people who were in the same group of friends or who knew the people who hurt me, I become 14 all over again. The trust issues I got from that experience I still struggle with today. Because of my experience, I have self image issues. For the longest time, I assumed that if something happened, I would get blamed. I assumed that everyone was against me. I am working on that, and I have gotten a lot better, but it is still something I struggle with. Speaking out is very hard for me, and I don’t know if I could ever speak out publicly.

The reason why I included about my life beforehand, how insecure I was and how I wanted attention because for the longest time, I blamed myself because of those reasons. I felt like if I hadn’t been like that, none of this would have happened. I blamed myself that because I had sex prior to my assault, it somehow was my fault or that I somehow deserved it. I was a 14 year old girl who was scared, insecure, and lonely. I was manipulated and demonized. The people who hurt me were hurting themselves. I know this, yet I still question my experience and blame myself.

The reason why I wanted to call attention to these posts is because earlier in the day, I had been scrolling through my Facebook. I was trying to find something from my past, and I ended up going through my old feed. Reading posts I made during the time I was assaulted brought back old feelings. I found myself feeling so scared and powerless again.

For some reason, I was compelled to look at the profile of the main girl who told everyone I lied about my assault and saw she came forward with her own assault, and how many people thought she was lying about her assault. I debated reaching out to her; I knew how she felt, but that was also because she made me feel that way.

Two hours later, I came across those posts. I was already shaken up by relieving my trauma, and when I was those posts, I felt numb for a second. I was shocked, hurt, disgusted, and angry. Since HOA came out, I have always gone to it during times of need, even during the time of my assault. Some nights, I would reread fanfiction and look at any tumblr posts I could find. Doing this helped me cope with my life at that point.

When I saw those post, I felt like I had to say something, as a HOA fan and as a sexual assault survivor. The tone and content in those posts makes rape to appear to be the opposite of what it is. They glorified rape. The act as if rape means the same thing as sex.

Awareness of sexual assault and rape victims along with their validation is improving. However, rape culture is still very ingrained in our culture. Many people do not know accurate facts about sexual assault and rape. Many people try to debate what is sexual assault. In order for change to happen, we need to recognize how rape culture has influenced our society and start making the victims and facts a stronger influence.

#house of anubis #hoa

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candycanesuckers · 4 years

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An in-depth dissection on the conversation between Stormfront and Homelander in which she explains her past

AKA, At This Point Y’all Are Being Purposefully Disingenuous Just so Y’all Can Feel Justified in Hating Her

The scene opens with her, Stormfront, finding Homelander alone and solemn overlooking the city. He’s being callous and dismissive towards her, and even says a sly comment in which could be taken as a potential murder threat, which obviously effects her and her future plans (since it’s rather clear that she’s merely using him for her own personal agenda). Because of his cold behavior towards her, she decides to bare her all to him.

“I will never lie to you again. I will tell you everything . . . Starting with this,” She begins. Stormfront hesitantly walks to a large brown box, the stoic look on Homelander’s face never leaving as he pointedly watches her every move. She opens the crate, and in it are numerous aged items belonging to her, including her Liberty attire and a collection of black and white photos.

Out of her collection of items, she picks up the photos due to them being an outline of her history and an easy open door to the unique ability she has (since she’s either immortal or has an extended life quantity).

She shows the first image to Homelander, an image that shows her next to a much older woman (who has previously been assumed by the viewer to be her mother or grandmother). “My daughter,” she begins, “Chloe. She died of Alzheimer's a few years ago.”

Before this scene, her unique relation to aging was unknown to Homelander; the only people who knew were Starlight and The Boys. Understandably shocked, Homelander asks Stormfront just how old is she.

“I was born in 1919, in Berlin.”

There’s beats of silence between them. The information that she just revealed settles, to both Homelander and the viewer, and then she flips to the second photo.

It’s of her, dressed in a beautiful, white blazer dress, standing next to three extremely influential figures from history (further highlighting her extreme age). As she flips to the next photo, she says, “And . . . The most important man in the room . . . “ Homelander looks down, and finishes the unsaid sentence: “Frederick Vought.”

The next portion of the conversation is one of the most important, both in-context of the actual conversation but also in terms of the audience finally understanding Stormfront as a person; it gives us an insight to her mentality, it further explores her history with Vought and the relationship she has with the company, while also showing us what seems to be her intentions with Homelander. “He gave me the first successful V injection. He taught me everything. And then we fell in love, and he gave me a daughter. He made me, and his genius made you.”

This one excerpt shows us an important aspect on Stormfront and her mentality: she glorifies and idealizes Vought. The glorification she has of Frederick Vought consumes her, evident through the passion she has while she speaks on how V made her into who she is. The glorification she has for Frederick then streamlines into the next aspect of what she talks about, which is the superiority that comes from being chosen to be a superhero (which she isn’t exactly unjust in; a separate post to discuss, maybe? Although I feel as if it’s pretty obvious how people with super-human abilities that routinely save the world are clearly above just normal civilians).

Emotions are clear on Homelander’s face as he hears all the new information released by Stormfront: he’s shocked, and really just at a loss for words. He turns away from her, almost in a way dismissing the rest of the photos she has as he tries to process everything. She holds the photos to her side, now untouched for the rest of the conversation, and continues to speak: “Frederick didn’t care about all the fans or stardom or any of that shallow bullshit. We are in a war for the culture. The other races are grinding us down and taking what is rightfully ours, but we can fight back. With an army of supermen, millions strong.”

This four-sentence paragraph is the strongest example we currently have from the show that showcases the sense of superiority Stormfront has due to her super-human abilities. This specific excerpt is commonly used as a dog whistle by Stormfront anti’s to push the narrative that she is a Nazi or at the very least a white supremacist, however with the context of her relation to Vought and the fact that she highlights it being an army of supermen, it’s made explicitly clear that the “war for the culture” is a culture where supes are naturally seen as higher than non-supes and don’t have to fear the possibility of public backlash due to “othering” that’s caused by a public that may be scared of people who are different than them -- which may be why Stormfront finds it so important to build an online following who truly knows her as a person, while still being aware that she ultimately has a platform and is in a position of power.

(To add onto the fact that she has a sense of superiority due to her super-human abilities rather than the idea of white supremacy, it should be noted that the lab in which they were “breeding” all of supe’s with the assumption of them being apart of her army was incredibly multi-cultural. It had Latino people, Asian people, blacks, etc.).

It could be argued that her current arc and characterization of glorification and superiority is meant to be an allegory for Nazi’ism, however, I will say in my own personal opinion that it’s incredibly weak to claim. Nazi allegories need to have someone explicitly shown to be wrong in their beliefs and ideals; Stormfront though, is justified -- or at the very least has solid ground to stand on. I mean, God, it’s shown that mothers and fathers were offering up their newborns to be injected with compound V. That should speak for itself.

Lastly, after Stormfront bore her history and ideals to Homelander, she says one last thing to Homelander, one last confession full of passion and desperation: “So I love you with all of my heart. How could I not? Everyone I have ever loved is in the ground. And then I found you. We found each other. And now neither of us has to be alone ever again.”

I believe this to imply that her sense of superiority is a front that she puts up and her desire to create a culture of supe’s is to create a new race of people that are similar to her in sense of life-span, that way she no longer has to keep losing those she loves and live a life where pain is a constant. I truly do think all of this is an act of longing for a life of less pain 💔

So in conclusion: her idea of a “war on our culture” is the idea of non-supes against those who are. It’s an entirely separate thing from Nazi beliefs and / or ideals.

#The Boys #Stormfront #Homelander #The Boys Season 2 #Yes this is a re-upload #Someone was being weird in the replies of the other one :///

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vhaerath · 5 years

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re: my last response; i think a lot of new left-leaning circles, particularly in america, have begun to regress into an anti-intellectual state when it comes to spirituality and modern religion. astrology, paganism, and witch rituals have become particularly prominent, and frankly, taken way too seriously. in some more extreme circles, you even see ostensibly leftist astrologists judging people for their signs similarly to how religious people judge outgroups. (inb4 “astrology is racism for girls”)

on tumblr this kind of anti-intellectual thinking has become very knee-jerk with any critique of religion. “the abrahamic religions are patriarchal and misogynist in root” is a controversial statement because women, racial minorities, and lgbt+ people also happen to be christian, jewish, muslim. i know a lot of this backlash is rooted in resistance to islamophobia and anti-semitism, but then it kind of comes full-circle with a lot of so-called marxists demonstrating a very religious-seeming sex-negativity and glorification of spirituality.

when marx said religion is the opiate of the masses, he meant that it did indeed have its place, but as a painkiller. it provided simple solutions to simple troubles, but it was also a distraction. this isn’t to say i think we should ban religion, or that you can’t be a leftist if you’re religious or spiritual, because that is what we call oppression. but spiritualism and religion is not a solution to social strife; in fact, it has more the tendency to exacerbate it.

#look i'm not a commie but marx was pretty galaxy-brained #buttered poast #suprise showing of discourse on main

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motelsanddiners · 5 years

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Adagio For Castiel

Wanted to post this here because maybe more people will find it and love it.

A Castiel X Reader Fic Cross-posted from AO3

He cuts a moving picture there at the piano, absorbed, respectful, expression soft, eyes hooded as he watches his hands glide over keys with gentle familiarity. Ah, the ease, the smooth press of nimble fingers that bring forth strong notes without the use of brutality: a hidden art, a reverence of one who understands and knows music. Believes in it. He believes in music the way some people believe in God.

The piano is unblemished, marble-white, perfectly in tune and accommodating to his mastery, his quiet professionalism as he draws out the soul of each note; the music stand is empty. But his being is full. Full of inspiration. Whether it be hope, despair, nostalgia, longing, anger, contentment, hunger, exhaustion: he has cause to play. To bare his soul upon black and white teeth that chew, serrate, digest and then speak- or in most cases, sing -a testament of emotion, expertise, give a testimony to the hidden inner workings of life itself.

The piano is a tool as much as he is a bird. Not at all. The piano is an extension of himself. A stationary conduit that invokes movement, stirs the mind, stokes the spirit, feeds the soul, and transcends the body. It is escapism, even as he is seated upon a rickety wood bench, chipped and peeling and creaky. So very different from his one at home.

But it isn’t the bench, or the keys, or the venue. It is him that fills the room with awe and resplendence. Sunlight cuts furiously through the cloud bank and the dust-coated panes of the day room to streak demurely though the gray tinged air and dapple the fading hardwood with persuasive cheer.

The domed glass ceiling, sliced into rising trapezoids, captures the music, holds it sweetly prisoner within its confines of wooden frames and water spotted panes, rattling around vivaciously within the sun-warmed air. A muted cry to heaven, forestalled and unheard, an ear turned idly away.

Hands, still delicate in their intention, harden a fraction, in blood alone. It is not lack of volume that impedes Heaven’s attention, but purpose. He does not play to be heard. He plays because he feels. Because he is alive. And when he is dead, he will play still. Whether be Heaven or Hell that his soul resides in for eternity…he will play.

He is assured at the piano, shoulders loose and relaxed, arms the same. His expression is slack, open to the music. Eyes closed to the world, better to feel. Ears shape his reality as his hands offer up ample sacrifice. He’s ruminating on something only known to him, a feeling. One he fails putting into words.

His long lashes flutter in response to the music spilling from the maw of the piano, his fingers continue their divine delivery.

Sunlight caresses the body of the piano, reverent, ethereal. And when it cascades over Castiel’s slight frame- fluid and swaying with the tempo -freed from the gloom of the cloud bank? Poetry. Shy exultation. Tender glorification. Nature taken note: there’s a separate variety of beauty, out of her reach; fleeting, humble, instrumental. A breathing reverie, a fallible ode to the sanctity of a gentle spirit, an open mind, and a forgiving heart. Mother Nature weeps in embarrassment of herself.

And Castiel is unaware. In a melodic cocoon of his own making he does not emerge easily, nor willfully. He basks in the euphoria of his soul-letting, feeling light as the birds that flit from branch to branch in the garden beyond the floor to ceiling wall of glass in front of him. In truth? He is freer than those birds will ever be, even with their ability to touch the Heavens.

His hands reside carefully in his lap, fingers laced but not latched. His cornflower blues adorn a fond, faraway glaze to them as he appreciates the garden and its tranquil beauty. His slightly chapped lips quirk in the corners furtively, as if in indulgence of an inside joke.

“Mr. Novak?” The question is hesitant, soft. Accommodating.

No doubt she has waited. Allowed him to spoil himself. She always does, bless her.

He smiles apologetically, eyes coming back to the piano. “I’m sorry, Cady. I got carried away again.” His rise from the bench is slow, reluctant.

He studiously pulls the fall down over the keys, drags his fingertips along the lacquered wood and recalls the quickly fading sensation of flesh against ivory capped spruce wood, worshipful and holy. The connection between heart and the anatomy of a piano…already he aches to play again.

“It’s no trouble, Mr. Novak,” She shakes her head gently, meeting his sheepish expression patiently. “It’s quite cathartic…medicinal even.”

His dark eyebrows rise. “For the soul, perhaps. If it were medicinal for the body…”

She smiles sadly, sympathetic. “You never know, Mr. Novak,” She says, patting his arm as he passes her, starting his long trek down the hallway that smells like carnations just under the currant of antiseptic.

“You just never know…” She murmurs to herself, glancing over her shoulder at the sun-kissed day room, the lonely piano, not half as lonely as the man who plays it when he visits. She readjusts her uniform and shuts the door behind her.

Schumann Op. 15 No. 7 hangs in the gloomy atmosphere of the empty room, lingering heavily around the piano, and drifting hauntingly, lazily, within the domed ceiling. The music stand is vacant. Waiting.

Running late, cursing under your breath and gulping lukewarm coffee with a grimace, you fly into the parking lot, vaguely mindful about pedestrians. You wave apologetically at another woman in a hurry, purse swinging madly in her jaunty walk through the maze of cars. The two of you notice one another just in time.

Though, if you were to accidentally run someone over, this would be the place to do it.

Beethoven’s Sonata No. 21 isn’t even out of the first movement, but you’re running heinously late and you think the dead musician will cut you some slack for your impudence. You tumble out of your car, click your door locked, fumble your keys into your pocket and jog towards the building, coffee sloshing out of your beat-up thermos. You hum the continuation of the sonata under your breath. An impressive feat, considering the tempo.

After trying to push a pull-open door for a hearty five seconds and righting yourself, you step into the relative warmth of the lobby and wave sheepishly at the front desk as you bee-line for the elevator. When the doors begin to slide closed behind you, you heave a sigh of relief. You finally made it. And pick up your humming again.

“Beethoven is rolling in his grave, deaf and all.” It’s spoken like you’ve committed a great slight against humanity, like you’ve run over a puppy and kept driving, and you stop humming mid-progression.

Cheeks warming in embarrassment, and a little offense, you look over your shoulder to shoot a retort, something along the lines of Have you tried humming Sonata No. 21? But you once again stop abruptly.

He’s criminally attractive, and you’re criminally uncouth. So you don’t even try.

His arm extends towards the door as well as one long, lithe leg. He’s on his way out, but he pauses long enough to say, “Beethoven is meant for the hands, that sonata especially. Not the voice. But an admirable attempt, all the same. Good day.”

And he glides out into the lobby, slipping his slender fingered hands into the pockets of his slacks, appearing all too graceful and lively for the subdued environment he’s in. The doors close, cutting off your view of him, and you stand a few seconds in stupefied admiration, heart thumping wildly.

And now you are unforgivably late. You’ll have to play with unmatched vigor for her today. If she’s even awake.

Castiel pauses in the lobby, after he hears the doors close, and half turns to stare at the elevator with a wistful, albeit slightly confused smile pulling at his lips. You were a mess, obviously running late, one of your boots was untied and half zipped up, your collared white shirt was slightly wrinkled, you were only wearing one earring, and your right coat sleeve was stained with coffee. No doubt because the lid was halfway screwed on.

Regardless, he finds something about you vaguely charming. But only vaguely. He decides not to obsess. He doubts he’ll ever see you again.

When he gets home, he heads straight for his grand piano, and sits down to play…Beethoven. Sonata 21. Of all things. And he hums along, or tries to, anyway. It’s horrendous, and he laughs, bending over the keys with the force of his humor. But his hands are steady and obedient, and continue Beethoven’s piece faithfully, perfectly.

He plays into the late hours wearing a secret smile, holding in his mind’s eye your arrival into the elevator and your terrible- but cheery -humming. He sits alone on his piano bench, but he feels a little less lonely despite it.

#CastielXReader Pianist!Castiel AU CastielNovak

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anthropolite · 4 years

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Well, I was originally going to do this as a Movies According To Yali, but I’m not going to, mostly for reasons of what I found surprising, and she would have been completely unsurprised by. This evening, I watched the Spartacus movie (the one directed by Stanley Kubric in 1960, with Kirk Douglas and Peter Ustinov). Yup, back from the days when doing a big battle-scene meant kitting out a thousand extras with lorica segmentata and scutums! Having more recently seen the Spartacus and Spartacus: Gods of the Arena seria, it’s astounding the number of shots and scenes which directly mirror the ones from the earlier movie (often to emphasise the grittier and more morally grey nature of their protagonists), but I’m sure that’s not the only media that’s taken a page from Stanley Kubric’s playbook - for example, some of the opening scenes of the old gamebook Trial of Champions directly riff on early scenes from this movie, and that is, of course, without even mentioning the “I’m Spartacus!” meme. The prescence of Gracchus is something which I tend to consider an acceptable break from reality: in reality, the Gracchus brothers had died long before the events depicted took place, but he provides us with a reasonable authority figure on the Senate for Crassus to clash with, the movie to give us more of one of its secondary themes: the slow rise of dictatorship. One of my initial reactions was that the movie suffered from a distinct case of Christian author-on-board: almost the major Roman characters, even the sympathetic ones, declare at one point or another that they don’t believe in the gods (although some of them venerate them in public for the sake of politics), while Varinia at one point gets a piece of dialogue about how she wishes that there were a god for slaves that she could pray to. I discovered later that this isn’t strictly Kubric’s fault, it’s the fault of film censoring: the Hays Code (which remained in practice well into 1966) forbade the depiction of religion in a mocking manner (as well as the glorification of violence, which might explain the surprisingly passive character of people we’re supposed to believe are skilled gladiators). The irony is that the film could be construed as mocking religion through this exact means, and the fact that a supposedly objective system of censorship demonstrates such a double-standard when it comes to religions that aren’t Christianity is... well, it’s not surprising, but I like to think it might have been a contributing factor in the subversion, defiance against, and eventual fall of the Hayes Code from cinema production.

#out of chalcedony #Spartacus

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abe-woodhull · 7 years

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theres nothing wrong with sewlett ok.

Okay, so I think I’m going to address this. I’m assuming this is in response to my post where I sort of when on a rant in the tags about how there’s a lot of glorification of abuse and murder and Simcoe in the Turn community right now. I’ll admit, that was a pretty sloppy post that I most likely made late at night with is definitely riddled with typos and half-arguments. In a way, I wish you would have maybe replied to my actual post rather than coming on anon to try to have this conversation but I hope this helps to clarify my position and others are free to respond to this directly if they wish.

And a warning!: I’m going to be talking about abuse a lot in this post! I totally understand if that’s not something people dont want to see and please feel free to not read or click off whenever you feel!

Firstly, I’ll state that I don’t have any power over what people do or do not ship or what content is or is not made within a fandom and I don’t want that type of power. I’d be an asshole so acting as if I do was sort of a dick move of me. I concede that this whole post is just my personal opinions and not meant to be an attack on anyone who actually ships it. People can ship or make whatever they want and I’m glad there’s a platform where people can do that.

However, (and that’s a big however) I don’t think that justifies the implications behind an idea or makes it “not wrong.” Again, this is all just my opinions and my perspective on the issue. It’s just my view, just how I morally view such a concept, and by no means is anyone meant to just automatically agree with me.

So let’s start with the origins of this, as far as I can tell. I’m obviously not a member of the community, so expect that I’ll get something wrong, but this is from my perspective. There was an episode in season four where Simcoe was in a bed and Hewlett held a knife to his throat. I’m sure we all remember it. Ever since then, the tags have been flooded with that ship. That might not be the origin of the ship, but it undeniably got a lot more people posting about Sewlett and making content.

I’ll remind you that the event I just referred to specifically in season four was Hewlett threatening to end Simcoe’s life after what I assume is months of the two going back and forth trying to off each other through schemes, and that’s in season four alone. It’s an even longer span of time if you go back into the previous seasons, but I’ll get back to that in a second. The point I’m trying to make here is that these two frequently try to kill each other. That’s an incredibly important aspect of their relationship, for lack of a better word, in the show. It’s also extremely important to a lot of Hewlett’s character development due to the fact that he shows Simcoe mercy when Simcoe has been trying to kill him for years. You can even argue that the action also developed Simcoe’s character but that doesn’t excuse the years of attempted murder.

I really want to drive this point home because it’s very, very important to recognize. So here are some examples of when these two clashed, which may be a bit graphic, my apologies (and these are only the most notable examples):

Season 2, Episode 5: Sealed Fate

Simcoe murders an officer in the Continental Army, cuts out his tongue, and writes a letter in his blood that claims Hewlett did it. This causes soldiers under the now dead officer to seek revenge, just as Simcoe planned and part of that plan was to have Hewlett captured, tortured, and eventually executed.

Season 2, Episode 7: Valley Forge

The conditions Hewlett is kept in are extremely inhumane, as I’m sure Simcoe counted on. He is routinely being subject to what I’ll call torture as the Continentals try to goad him into confessing to the murder of their leader. This becomes so bad that Hewlett gets frostbite and has to cut off three of his toes, which Simcoe later mocks.

Additionally, Simcoe’s advancements on Anna are extremely clear. Not only does Simcoe set out to murder Hewlett for power gain in Setauket, it seems that he also sets out in order to manipulate Anna’s favor.

I’ll move onto the bit where Simcoe and Hewlett actually meet in this episode, though there is much more I can elaborate on. He continuously mocks Hewlett and revels in his pain, saying, “Seeing you like this is a welcomed surprise.” Simcoe has obvious intent to kill Hewlett then. But, as I’m sure we all remember quite well, Hewlett stabs Simcoe in what I personally believe to be self-defense.

Season Three, Episode Two: Cold Murdering Bastards

Hewlett and Abe conspire to get Simcoe out of the picture by murdering him, a plan that plays out for the next several episodes.

Etc.

I won’t go into such specifics when it comes to season four, as the whole Hewlett subplot essentially revolves around the two trying to kill each other. It starts with Simcoe sending rangers after him to frame him for the murder of Lola and to kill him, then Hewlett scheming with Abe again to take him out, and this back and forth continues until Simcoe returns from the battlefield in Virginia. This is where Hewlett considers killing him but then shows mercy, which I will say, at least from my perspective, doesn’t erase the literal years the two spent trying to kill each other.

Notice, I didn’t even go into every instance of their toxicity. I chose examples of episodes where they literally tried to get rid of each other through violence. This doesn’t even take into consideration the numerous different ways Simcoe attempted to psychologically damage Hewlett.

The point of that all was to show that in the canon, Hewlett and Simcoe’s relationship, again, for lack of a better word, has nearly always been one where they were trying to get rid of each other. You can argue that Hewlett showing mercy changes that, but his speech points more towards the hope of order and the future rather than hope for Simcoe. And even if it did, it still doesn’t erase the years spent trying to kill each other.

In my perspective, whatever potential for actual romantic involvement points pretty heavily towards legitimate abuse.

I suppose one might argue that the ship is based more on headcanon than actual canon, but then I ask, doesn’t that completely erase the characters all together? If their development is so intertwined with years of this one-on-one war with each other, then isn’t that ignoring that development altogether if you’re ignoring the canon aspect? Isn’t that ignoring their characters?

Not only that, but from what I see of the content that I happen upon in the tags, the abuse is still pretty prevalent.

And if the argument is that the canon is taken into consideration, and that applies to the posts I’ve seen, then it’s sort of a double bind.

Here’s my issue with that. With this, I’m not trying to say that anyone personally is advocating for abuse and I’m not trying to attack anyone. However, from what I see, the ship as a whole seems pretty lenient about the potential and actual abuse within the ship and is compliant with that concept. I feel that some of the stuff that comes from the ship glorifies some abuse and a lot of attempted homicide.

And then, finally, the reason I made a post in the first place: If it were just a small movement, I’d likely just leave the subject alone altogether. I would have seen it, probably would have privately been uncomfortable or talk about the issue with my group of friends, but then just not say anything publically about it. However, it now makes up an overwhelming portion of the new content produced by the turn fandom on this site, making it and the values it represents a big staple in the community now. Frankly, it makes me feel sort of alienated since I strongly disagree with it and now I feel that there’s not much I can contribute to the fanbase anymore. And I don’t really want to contribute if that’s going to be the staple of the fandom as my personal values really don’t reflect that and I don’t feel I can personally condone that.

Personally, I feel there’s a lot of ships that in Turn with the potential of whatever gratification people get from Sewlett without some of the more problematic aspects. Not only that, I feel some of them are backed up by canon. But again, I’m not in charge of what people like and I don’t seek to be.

Again, everyone else can do whatever they want. I also feel I’m allowed to post my criticisms of it on my little platform and others are allowed to respond respectfully with their view and perspective.

Sorry for this extremely long post and explanation. I hope it clears some stuff up. Again, I wasn’t attempting to attack anyone personally or say that my opinion is 100% correct. This was merely what I see. Thanks for reading.

#turn amc #hewlett #simcoe #ask

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