#this is so old but I've been thinking about it constantly

[sophsicle]

Soph I love you but Taylor Swift does not “make herself the victim” there’s so much valid shit that has happened to her for us to feel that way about her, which most of her fans honestly don’t even see her as - granted there as some obnoxious ones but that goes for all fandoms.

Like for example of the experiences I was talking about.

- being sexually assaulted and then being called “greedy” for suing the guy.

- being painted as a “snake” because she didn’t react well to someone writing a misogynistic song about it. Which I feel like is a valid reaction as a woman in entertainment.

- being groomed at 19 by a 30+ something year old.

- getting called a snake worldwide for a narrative that 2 people - who were more famous than her at the time invented.

- being bodyshamed constantly when she had an eating disorder

Yes she’s privileged and has always been, coming from money and having fame, but she does not portray herself as the “victim” and the fact that people think she does just for standing up for herself makes me sad, not because of her but because being a woman myself it just paints the picture that women’s pain or experiences will always be brushed under the rug because we’re classified as “dramatic” and “we should take it with more grace” “be thankful about the good things” like??

I understand that you don’t like her but that assessment just seems wrong.

like i just. you realize you're proving my point right? like this - not just this message, but all of the ones i've gotten where people are waxing poetic about all of the struggles taylor swift has had and how she is absolutely a victim and how dare i suggest otherwise - is exactly what i'm talking about. you feel the need to jump down the throat of anyone who says anything remotely negative about her. this is the whole "victim" narrative, that she is vulnerable and must be protected and defended from all negativity at all times at all costs.

and like. that is on purpose. she has cultivated that narrative for this reason. so that publications are now afraid to post reviews of her albums with bylines because their journalists are getting death threats if they criticize her.

i am not suggesting that taylor swift has never had anything bad ever happen to her. that would be insane. i am trying to say that this culture that has been cultivated within her fanbase of defending and protecting her, is extreme and irrational. and when you don't buy into it, it makes a lot of the content surrounding taylor swift very hard to swallow.

#this is pointless #i know that #you can be devoted to her if you want to be i really don't care #but i will once again point out that i made a very mild negative statement about her #and i now have an inbox full of messages like this #and can you perhaps see how that is #an overreaction to me making a post on my blog #not tweeting at taylor swift #not yelling at her on the street #not starting a campaign against her #surely if yall can make posts about how much you love her i can do the opposite #and again #this is pointless there are so many more important things to discuss and fight about #i swear to god i did not mean to post that post because i knew it would inevitably lead here #but i made the choice to leave it up so this is my penance #soph rambles

[emmabirb8]

I've been an Invader Zim fan since 2011.

I was 15-16 at that time, and though I did thoroughly enjoy the show, I was not mature enough to really get it. Sure, it was funny, but I didn't pick up on the subtleties and style of humor beyond the surface level. I liked the wackiness and the characters, but I SURELY wasn't at a point of being able to deconstruct themes or analyze character motivations and narratives (like I very much enjoy doing now). I remember discovering an artist on DeviantArt who drew cute ZaGr stuff, so that was the pairing I liked too. I didn't think too deeply about much, and honestly, I don't think the majority of fans (if they were my age or younger, that is) did either. Everything was taken as dumb and silly for the most part, and that IS truthfully a major component of the show itself.

Getting back into Invader Zim within this past year though, I'm looking at it through a WILDLY different lens. I like Invader Zim for what it is and how it's intended to be perceived. I like that the show is meant to be dark, satirical, and tragic at the same time that it's silly, chaotic, and nonsensical. Almost everything that happens onscreen is written in to be funny above all else. (I've mentioned before that I've been watching Jhonen's Twitch streams for a while now, and I have a MUCH better understanding of his sense of humor bc of that. IZ makes way more sense if you can sorta see things from JV's perspective, lol.)

But at the same time, I also like Invader Zim for what it offers in terms of interpretation and what it can imply (intentionally or not). There is genuinely SO MUCH DEPTH to this dorky lil cartoon that a casual viewer wouldn't immediately pick up on. And a lot of that depth, I think, was not woven in purposely. The show itself was never meant to be taken so seriously. Nevertheless, I'm constantly fascinated by what IZ implies about good and evil, the nature of general society, and especially how it goes about demonstrating the devastating effects of social isolation and bullying. Meta for this series is always pretty damn *chef's kiss.* And what's even more interesting is how viewers manipulate canon to expand upon this world and these characters.

Given that I've come to understand Invader Zim better, I've also grown very fond of ZaDr. Now, while I wouldn't want to see this pairing happen in canon material, I love the potential it possesses in transformative contexts.

In reality, I get that these characters were intended to have a deep hatred for one another and a never-ending rivalry for the sake of comedy and not much else. It's an extraterrestrial perpetually throwing hands with a 12 year old because he's incompetent and his plans often fail. And that's funny. That's the point. But beyond that, canonically, these are two characters who are mirrors of each other; they're both treated like garbage by their respective peers, and they both crave acknowledgment, validation, and a sense of purpose. Throughout their story, they find they're only able to obtain these things from each other, so as a consequence of their similar personalities, they become utterly, unhingedly obsessed with each other (to a sometimes unhealthy degree). They are undeniably forever intertwined by design of how the show is set up.

And because of that, shipping of these characters was, frankly, inevitable in fandom spaces. I myself fell victim to their appeal too. (Sorry, Jhonen. 😅)

I'm not gonna go into any discourse surrounding this pairing because there's already PLENTY of that to go around online. Everyone has their own opinion on the subject, and that's fine. I respect that. Point is, even though I understand and appreciate what Zim and Dib are supposed to be in the context of the show, I also enjoy the idea of them as friends and romantic partners outside of and beyond the confines of canon.

And that's something that I think many fans who are biased toward ZaDr would also agree with! Actually, I'd say the majority of people who ship characters in ANY media would concur. We like the idea of seeing how specific relationships could develop over time and/or within different settings and circumstances. It's NOT always about wanting to see a relationship unfold on screen or in fan works strictly adhering to canon. It's about stretching canon, or in some cases, scratching canon entirely however you see fit! Who cares! It's fiction!

For me personally, I enjoy ZaDr because its attributes fall into so many trope categories that I've come to adore over the years (ones that I either wasn't aware of when I was younger, or that I didn't enjoy in the same intensity as I do now). Zim and Dib are, or could be, depending on context:

Codependent toxic soulmates

Human/non-human

Shared history

Classic enemies to lovers (or, as I often prefer it, enemies to friends to lovers)

Bicker couple

Battle couple, when put in the right setting for it

Violence as a love language

Smol and tol

The wild card paired with the rational one, the best part about this being that sometimes the more rational one is Dib, and sometimes it's Zim bc they're both a special flavor of insane

Make each other worse/stupider when together, tho oddly, they also kinda bring out the best in each other too

And, my personal favorites, the potential for hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending, with the comfort and happiness aspects ultimately coming from each other

I like what these characters could be, to and for each other, apart from their roles in the show.

I would never want to explore a dynamic between Zim and Dib that goes beyond "frenemies" territory in canon (because that doesn't fit what the show is, and I do appreciate the integrity of Jhonen's vision). The subtle foundation for them is there, it's just that it can't really work unless a few key details are changed or manipulated, and, well...

I sure as hell like exploring every bit of that expanded potential in fan works because it's fun to imagine the various directions things could go if they were different!

This isn't me, like... trying to defend my (or anyone else's) enjoyment of this particular ship or trying to convince people to like it. Or the show for that matter! To each their own, truly. And I'm obv aware of the controversy ZaDr often incites and why. Everyone has valid reasons for liking OR not liking it, and I accept differing viewpoints on it. It's a touchy, nuanced subject to be sure. But this isn't about that.

I don't really know what this is, actually, aside from a very long very weird essay, lol. I just wanted to process why and how all of this works for me with my changed perspective from when I was first introduced to Invader Zim in my teens up until now.

It's strange, looking back. I didn't get ZaDr years ago. But I do now, and so much of it, at least from my perspective, has to do with taking the crumbs present in canon (that are undeniably there, whether you choose to acknowledge them or not, and whether they're intentional or not) and absolutely running with them to the ends of your own wild imagination.

#invader zim #invader zim meta #zadr #iz zadr #zim #dib membrane #my posts #this is... A LOT but i just needed to work thru it for my own sanity lol #said it before and i'll say it again: pls utilize the tag blocking function however you need to bc i KNOW this can be very Yikes for some #but at the same time this is my blog and i'm gonna do what i want :P

[hevoyeurs]

“ there’s something fascinating about blood. it’s captivating. ” ( hello! i hope this is okay! i do have a dbd verse if you're interested! )

𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬

Danny's eyes close at the sound of her voice. Nowadays he can barely tell how much of her voice is in his ears and how much is in his head. He's wearing the mask, as he often does in the realm, but he has no doubt that she knows how he's feeling — the subtle mix of despair and interest, because she's right — blood captivates him almost as much as the look on his victims' faces when they realise that they're going to die.

She's right, of course, but her presence sets Danny on edge. "Is that why we're all here?" He asks, voice low, "Or is the blood just a happy by-product?"

Danny doesn't trust her, but he'd be a fool to aggravate her, so he shifts his tone a little, lets a bit of silk in. "I never got to enjoy it so much before." A lie — can she tell? "No consequences, no risk." No thrill. "This is a pretty sweet gig."

#malumsxsubest #this is so old but I've been thinking about it constantly #𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞. / v. dbd #𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬. / answered.

[sciderman]

I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with so much Iranian hate and drama <:[

oh anon. hate to break it to you (a lot of people make this mistake) but iran and iraq are two entirely separate nations.

and also i think reducing it to the words "hate and drama" kind of doesn't cover it, anon.

#i think if people were. just a little bit more informed. then maybe people would see that the people from this region are humans actually. #so anon. please. like... look at a map and do some reading maybe. if you care just a little. #i'm sorry anon but i'm a little bit at a loss for words over this message. like it rendered me speechless for a little. #but it's so common in my life that i've been called iranian and i constantly have to correct people on it. c'mon man. #i mean i have SO many iranian friends even though iraq and iran you know. aren't exactly bedfellows. politically. #but those politics don't really follow me. like in my day to day. iraqis and iranians in the uk of this generation. are again. #pretty divorced. #but it's kind of really frustrating that people Without Fail make this mistake over and over. #it's like how people just refer to “africa” as a whole. instead of recognising there are seperate nations there and. #it's not just a homogenous “other” #please. there are humans there. it's not just “foreign”. #i don't know if you're american anon but i see it a lot that anything outside of america is just “foreign” #and i mean #even as a brit. americans are constantly surprised i'm british because they forget anything exists outside of america. #i think it would be so so so so sexy of you anon to take a look at the globe tonight. give it a spin. #look at the world. it's so full and so beautiful and there are So Many Nations. #i'm going to look at my globe tonight too. i have a really cool old one. it spins so good. #and i'm going to pick some countries i don't know a lot about and do some reading about them. for funsies.

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[herd-reject-arts]

Here I go to spend several days by myself in the North Carolina wilderness. Wish me luck. Never gone camping alone (but I have my dogs, and I trust them more than any people I know), so that's intimidating. Hopefully I don't have to fistfight a bear over whatever I'm cooking that night. Not looking forward to no toilet or shower until Monday, but it is what it is. I absolutely have to do this, for my mental health. I'm losing so much money taking the time off work to just have mountain time to myself. But I gotta. My life has been such a chaotic mess for over half a year now - everything that could go wrong, has - and I've never felt so close to just letting myself snap. I can feel it boiling right under the surface at any given time.

But yeah. Should be a time. Might post pictures upon my return (provided a bear doesn't decide I'm on the menu). Wish me luck!

#not vc sorry #camping #going to pisgah in case i never return and y'all gotta help direct the cops #should be back online sometime next week #really hoping there's no phone service so no one can bother me #i WILL hike the mountains. i WILL return to the dirt and moss from which i came. #i think it'll be good for me to just fuck off for a while and hang out with my puppies #it's just been shit after shit for so long #like. starts off with me getting fired over a false police report that no one cared was obviously fake #then the only person I've ever given a shit about says he's had a massive thing for me for years and just ghosts me? #then my mom started getting worse and is constantly blaming me for all her problems and breaking my stuff etc #like. she tells my 15 year old brother he's a failure and won't be shit at least once a day. blames me for his behavior. #then I'm getting constantly fucked over at work. treated like I'm an idiot. paid less than the guys despite doing the same work. #my physical health isn't great but what do i even do about that? #i have no control over anything in my life. it's all going to shit. #but you know what i can control? where my gay ass subaru is driven. and it's driving me to the mother fucking mountains. #and i WILL chill and relax and not stress over shit that's out of my hands!!!!!!! #it's supposed to rain a lot but who cares. just means less likelihood of other people camping near me.

[anxietyfrappuccino]

i've been sitting on the kitchen floor with a growing headache because i'm convinced i'm autistic and i found out about limerence and is it possible for my special interest to be myself and maybe i do maladaptive daydream just not to extend i thought was needed to describe myself as such and and

#my post #adhd #maybe autistic #autistic #autism #limerence #maladaptive daydreaming #headache #special interest #in the least narcissistic way possible #i'm just constantly trying to understand my mind #it's all i think about sometimes #and yeah i've been obsessed with same person since i was like 10 years old and still am even though i haven't seen them in years #i'm so fucking autistic #i want a diagnosis but at the same time i don't want to deal with that because i feel like at this point i just know

[blindedguilt]

I ship Caim and Inuart because Caim seems like he can be a bit of a softie (in his own way) when it comes to him and Caim and Leonard because toxic yaoi

//REALLLLLLLL godbless anon

//Cainuart is probably the best this fandom is going to get in terms of the "Ship something that's not Kaian" challenge (And don't get me wrong, I ADORE that ship!!! ...but there's more u could do if u aren't a coward 😈) though I'll be honest, it's never REALLY struck a chord with me?? I don't dislike it and it IS cute, but I have trouble getting interested as great of an idea as it is (THE WHOLE DYNAMIC AS FAR AS THEY'RE CONCERNED AS KIDS IS SO????? Arranged Marriage Fiancé x Arranged Marriage Fiancee's Brother is so...... but considering how lukewarm i am on inuarts character as a whole mainly with his role in the plot which is odd, he used to be my favourite lol i think that's why I'm not TOO invested despite the ship itself being really good

//AND THE SWORD FIGHTS!!!!!!;!;;;

//BUT ON THAT SAME NOTE ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE (and im realising this JUST as im typing this) I GENUINELY JUST WANT MORE FUCKED UP SHIPS IN THIS FANBASE

//like i want evil, fucked up shit!!!! Drakengard is all ABOUT evil fucked up people and their evil fucked up bonds together!!!!!! i dont want to back out at the last second and say "it all led up to them being wholesome, in the end!!! in this dark world, they at least have each other 😀" NO!!!!!!

//I WANT ""RELATIONSHIPS"" THAT ARE EVERY BIT AS EVIL AND FUCKED UP AS THE WORLD, THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES, AND THE PEOPLE THEMSELVES

//THEY WILL UNHEALTHILY PROJECT ONTO EACH OTHER

//THEY WILL HURT, MAIM AND ABUSE EACH OTHER (??? or one will, unless we're talking about 1.3 which hoohoohoo boy!!!!! hoohoohoo boy fuckinh babey!!!!!!!)

//THEY WILL FUCK WITH EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY DUBIOUS CONSENT ON BOTH ENDS THEY DO IT AS A FORM OF SELF-HARM (in the form of "Hates them and themself so much they think they deserve it and/or might as well accept it as karmic punishment" and "Hates them and themself so much for the idea of getting attached (and at the same time hating the fact the other can't reciprocate at all as much as they hate the concept that they would) the least they can do is make that their problem in the only way that benefits him, too")

//ill be honest, it might as well be noncon at a certain point but I've been having revelations lately that i dont have to care!!!! and i don't!!!!!!! I COULD TALK ABOUT THEM AND HOW ENDLESSLY TOXIC THEY ARE AND HOW THEY HAVE ENDLESS POSSIBILITY TO MAKE EACH OTHER BETTER BUT BECAUSE THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT ABOUT THEMSELVES WORKS AND WHAT DOESN'T THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT DRAGGING THE OTHER DOWN THEIR PIT OF ISSUES INSTEAD FOREVEEERRRRRR i may be on ic hiatus but anon!!!! please tell me about the toxic yaoisms forever i am OBSESSED and ALWAYS willing to hear i love them

//AND I HATE THE DRAKENGARD FANBASE FOR NOT HAVING MORE EVIL, FUCKED UP SHIPS IN GENERAL I DON'T WANT JUST BORING VANILLA WITH A HINT OF "QUIRKY" CHARACTERISATION I WANT DEPRAVITY AND SELF-HARM AND EVILNESS GRAAAAHGGGGGGGJHHHHHHHHHHHHH RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

//HATE HATE HATE FUCK FUCK FUCK‼️‼️‼️‼️

//also anon i apologise if u were the one who sent the one ic ask!!! I'm not currently doing ic asks at the moment but I will save it, just for you <3

#||Reply||:Anonymous #{/finally am out of my 'dont wanna be Problematic and Fetishise people's trauma' stage and back into my} #{/'WAIT. HAS IT IN FACT NEVER BEEN THEIR TRAUMA I'M FETISHISING? I'VE BEEN FETISHISING MY OWN ALL ALONG??? IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM???? 🤯} #{/stage} #{/burned a few bridges to get to realising im not a horrible person for enjoying media however i want WITHOUT being ashamed or trying to} #{/'re-contextualise' it or whatever but the sea closed behind moses when he got to the promised land so whatever} #{/BUT ANON} #{/I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM TO BE HERE I DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGISE OR CONSTANTLY FEEL ASHAMED OR ON THIN ICE OR ANYTHING ITS LIKE IT} #{/IS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!! FUN!!!!!!!!! and it is omg :'))))) #{/one of these days I will finish that Caionard fic.... one day..........} #{/so which beatdown do you think was worse: when caim realised the goddess was in a different fortress} #{/or when he realised he was officially competition with a 6 year old}

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

Hey, I know the fandom's long gone now and you're not on here as much, but I just wanted to tell you I'm really glad I got to meet you through AH. Your writing for fahc stuff always made me smile and I still have a bunch of it saved in my drafts cause I used to go back and re-read it so much, every so often I think about the think about the writing prompt you did once for Michael, Gavin and Jeremy with "the happiest we ever were" and it makes me feel some sort of way I can't even describe. Anyway, you're really cool and an amazing writer and I'm very lucky I got to share a fandom space with you <3

First, thank you so much, this is incredibly sweet (and flattering) and although I know it might be lame to say back at you, I mean... back at you. I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one here, because I'm just some guy who wrote some words one time, and yet it introduced me to some of the best people I've known, yourself included.

I think back on that time so often, and I'm always wishing to go back to it, to not have let myself lose it. It was so much fun and it brought me so much joy I can't even begin to put it into words.

I could go on and on about how much the fandom means to me, but suffice it to say I am forever grateful to have shared the space with you, and you're in my heart always 💚💚

#this is less sappy but as I'm typing this 'stressed out' by 21 pilots is on and it's like... #'wish we could turn back time/ to the good old days' yeah man I feel that. #also in case anyone wondered #yes I am still as awkward as I've ever been. #for real though I think about this stuff...constantly. I miss having that connection. #and whenever I write stuff that's like... tangentially related/inspired by the fahc writing we all did #I want so badly to have someone to share it with like I did then #apologies that this became me rambling but some things never change you know?

[nexus-nebulae]

the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage

#i have never had a computer this nice lmao #i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything #either by physical skill or money or age or location #so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!! #and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass #the dopamine rush. lmao #i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭 #genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair #just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF* #seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK #bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright #and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing #i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!! #can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY #FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM #INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT #like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers #i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit #i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them #i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!! #anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun

[danny-chase]

dc has so much wasted potential it kills me

#sorry for the negativity it's just like. i just talked about kory #but also look at the storys they choose to tell with Joey Wilson #and Barbara Gordon #and Victor Stone #and how they just squander all of that for the sake of making everything into this manufactured version of normalcy in order to maximize #profits because the bible of capitalism says that generic-ness equals marketability #it's just so frustrating that they're never willing to take risks or explore anything more than such a narrow view of the world #think about the stories they could tell with Tara Markov if they weren't busy focusing on Slade Wilson #or the stories they could tell about Grace and Anissa #everything just feels so shallow at dc right now #they're so willing to discard characters of color while writing the same batman comic 17 times over at once #tom taylor throws in one poorly written line referencing Dick's Romani heritage and thinks he's a hero??? like really?? this is the bar??? #why can't you get a romani creator to write him??? #why can't you give Duke anything ongoing when there are how many batbooks running???? #you really can't find any disabled woman willing to write Barbara Gordon as orcale? you really think fans prefer babsgirl to her? #idk if it's a problem with dc or the fandom or both and maybe i'm just out of touch because i only talk to specific people about comics #but if one of your writers is constantly critiqued and called out about abelism maybe you should actually do something instead of just #ignoring the issues... #idk i've been reading old comics with Mal Duncan and it just makes me ask: dc where is he? #and then i look at so many characters of color who just get discarded completely #like the fox family bea mal and karen and onyx and orpheus #the batfam post about black characters getting discarded so quickly makes me question if this happens in other fams as well at dc i just #have little experience with anyone outside the batfam and titans #like hello where's anita from young justice??? she just dropped off the face of the earth when teen titans 2003 changed the lineup #it's especially frustrating when the og creator cares about them and gives them personality and depth (or at least makes them interesting #or likeable or compelling because let's be real a lot of the og creators are also racist) and then immediately after they leave the #vision for the character is completely lost #negativity #vent post #dc you made me attached to these characters just to suffer i swear

[eerna]

Before I discovered fantasy at 9 years old, my fav book genre was historical harem dramas. I do not know what that means

#i found a mouldy $2 paperback that started it all and i've been rereading it and #GOD IT IS SO BAD BUT THE FEELINGS OF A KID WHO WOULD REREAD IT CONSTANTLY EVERY YEAR ARE BACK SO I AM STILL LOVING IT #vividly remember not thinking all these young women with their old husbands was weird bc ehy would it be i am 8 everyone is old to me #eernatalk #wait i know what it means. it's where my love of courtly intrigue and politics in fantasy comes from <3 #i didnt care about the romance aspect oh no my most favourite parts were the BETRAYALS and CHANGING TIMES and BUILDING IMPORTANT BUILDINGS

[genuflecting]

I'm sure I've shared this thesis before but I absolutely believe that Resident Evil 4 is about the emotional experience of going from your early to late twenties. the dissonance Leon feels seeing Ashley who is 20, just a year younger than the age he was in RE2, and Luis who is only one year older than him at 28, and realizing he has more in common with the bitter lost cause than the bubbly hopeful kid. I need to bite something

#I befriended a 20 year old in my class and they're such a delight but I keep cracking up at how much they remind me of Ashley #they're so full of brightness and energy and I'm here like “I run on gay yearning and sheer determination and I've been tired for years” #I'm the same age as Leon in 4 and going back and playing 2 really highlights how bedraggled he is in 4 and it's unfortunately relatable #also this is more canon analysis than me paralleling my experiences #but the way Leon constantly seems to think he won't live longer than he did in 2 and seeing himself in Luis #And then Luis dying and just confirming Leon's beliefs that he's fucked makes me wanna scream out a window #he seems perpetually surprised he's made it this far and the fact that he's in his late 40's in canon now makes me feral #okay that's enough for now but I Will be talking more about this #resident evil #t

[illithiddies]

Hm. Having thoughts

#rant in tags just to get it off my brain. its personal shit not entirely bg3 shit. #but I think I've realized very suddenly that I've been pushing my own boundaries for the sake of companionship #and the irony is BITTER considering the character ive just spent the last month obsessed with. #and that this problem involves online spaces about said character. #i will absolutely give the bg3 fandom credit for handling topics like SA better than the star wars fandom ever did while I was in it. #i was so aggressive to defend my own space and peace of mind due to that and I pushed a lot of people away. I cut a lot of people off. #But then I wound up in spaces that ended up making me feel like I was walking on eggshells constantly for even just liking #certain characters or being too old. But now that im out of those spaces im just. fucking lonely man. #i miss having people to talk about fandom with. #i miss having people to bounce ideas off and enjoy hours long conversations about meta and story ideas. #i miss it so much. but i think as soon as i got into bg3 and dropped that defensiveness i think i left myself TOO open. #im too eager to insert myself into a spaces that im realizing very frequently go WAY the fuck past my comfort zone. #and obviously im minding my own business. even in the past i never sent hate. i just blocked and cut ties and moved on. #i can click out of a discord channel when i realize a topic isn't for me. #but my realization today is that im doing that so frequently that im wondering why im bothering at all? #why am i driven to befriend people if it's clear that their favored topics are ones I can't stomach? #I can acknowledge that im not mentally going to be safe in a space but why have I been forcing myself to ignore that? #i dunno it just. felt very strange to realize this suddenly #questlog

[magentagalaxies]

Jessamine is Passionate About Fictional AI Sentience But Not Real AI Sentience: An Essay

one thing about me is when it comes to talk of "sentient" AI irl i 100% don't buy it like technology is not that advanced and being able to act like a person doesn't make it a person, however whenever there's a question about if a fictional AI character is sentient i will go to bat for that character's humanity 100% of a time like fuck you they have just as much of a right to personhood as anyone else

i think it's bc in fiction like. all of these characters are fake, so distinguishing between which characters are fake-real and fake-fake is like. why limit yourself to what could happen in our world. like if we're already dealing with a universe where aliens/magic/etc. exists, why can't this android justifiably be as human as anyone else? plus irl almost all AI software is developed as part of this capitalistic hell structure we're in. no matter how "real" or "human" it feels, its function is to make you contribute to its creators' wealth, and its inability to go against this nature can't help but make it feel hollow and inhuman. however, all the best AI characters in fiction are able to go against their designated purpose, often being defined by it, and often being villainized for it

in our real world, the AI's "immoral" "behavior" is a product of it being a Things that serves capitalism. it's not making choices based on a sense of self beyond what it has been told to prioritize, and a lot of times this lack of human judgment can lead to terrible consequences (e.g. mental health AI chatbots that cannot accurately judge a situation and give appropriate advice, employed because it's cheaper than hiring human staff). but in fiction? AI's immoral behavior is frequently a product of it going against its designated purpose, seeing itself as a person and having to make difficult and morally questionable choices in order to strive for the feelings of personhood and autonomy. this is a far more interesting situation ethically (while an AI itself cannot be seen as morally responsible for its actions in our world, in fiction this AI wants to be a person so badly it's willing to commit moral wrongs to achieve its goal, despite the fact that true personhood would allow it to be seen as morally responsible for these crimes) which i think is also why AI characters, especially those that, y'know, kill people, are often very polarizing figures. this conversation can even be taken a step further into the "liking a fictional character does not mean condoning their actions" discourse, but i also often think about well, if you were in the position of this AI character, would you have done the same?

personally i've always found it very easy to empathize with "artificial" characters like clones, robots, etc. and fictional AI is no different. yes, if you're watching a piece of media and expecting the logic of our world, the AI is fake, and incapable of being a person. but if you're watching a piece of media with the goal of emotionally connecting to fictional characters (who are all inherently fake) and exploring universal themes through a heightened setting, AI characters are one of the most interesting tropes to explore this with. personally, I love AI characters because there's something so vivid about knowing you were designed for a specific purpose/life path and ultimately realizing that's not the life you, personally, want to live. your designers and the world around you doesn't even recognize you as a being that should be capable of wanting anything, much less something completely different, so achieving the life you want is an uphill battle of convincing others of your humanity and, when that often isn't possible, having to resort to the most extreme tactics to claw your way out of the life you were supposed to lead. you know no matter how close you get to this ideal life, there's always going to be some part of you that keeps others from perceiving you as "human", but you learn to embrace that and see every mundane experience as a major achievement

this narrative is especially relatable to me as a neurodivergent/nonbinary person, but i think it can be relatable for many different marginalized identities in different ways, or anyone whose "humanity" has been something often denied to them. but because people are often expecting fictional AI to follow the same logic as actual AI, when i defend robot characters who want to kill their human creators, people give me weird looks like i'm advocating for that in real life. listen, if our current AI situation feasibly produced an AI who was invented for one specific purpose but somehow fucking hated her job and was able to pursue a new life and was also queer (all without any of this being by design) then hell yeah i support her, but that's not what's happening. and in our current capitalistic chatbot hellscape where every company wants to convince you that you're chatting with a super intelligent AI friend to get you to pay for a premium membership, sometimes you have to hold fiction and reality to different standards and enjoy this story about a quest for humanity while also accepting that the people this journey applies to in our real world are often the ones being taken advantage of in our increasingly AI-dominated real world.

idk this was originally supposed to be a short post about how it's funny that i'm so goddamn passionate about AI characters in media while also not being into AI in the real world, but then i got thinking about why this is specifically and came to an interesting conclusion imo. tbh it's very surprising that i don't currently have any of my own projects featuring AI characters fighting for their own humanity bc it's a theme i love so much that i've rarely seen done right and i have so many opinions on it. maybe i will write something about this at some point, but for now if you have any pieces of media you enjoy with AI who are absolutely worthy of personhood pls send them my way!

#this post is obviously inspired by how much i love the concept of droid23 and constantly mourn their wasted potential #fans so often reduce them to ''evil doubles'' and have even questioned if emdroid is actually designed for violence #and the writers seem to endorse this villain interpretation #but personally? i think it's so much more interesting to think of them as real people in their own rights #yes their actions are immoral. but if they hadn't made that choice they themselves would never get to live any kind of life #and i think the story's so much more fascinating if this capitalistic structure that brought them into existence just for cheap labor #is the real villain #and the android/clone ''murderers'' while still committing a heinous act are given empathy for how they were forced into that situation #bc the only alternative would be to be denied any kind of personhood #i'm also thinking about cyborg noodle (bc i've been on a gorillaz kick lately) #idk if they've done anything with the character since phase 3 when noodle went missing #but i think it's fascinating the idea of like. noodle was canonically part of a child supersoldier experiment as a little kid #basically being designed for the life purpose of being a soldier. but instead she joined gorillaz to be a guitarist #and then when she went missing murdoc made a cyborg clone of her to be the new guitarist #but as soon as the real noodle came back they didn't need her anymore #and it would also be fascinating to bring cyborg noodle back bc noodle as a character essentially grew up throughtout the phases #(like she was 10 years old in the debut album‚ 14-ish in demon days‚ 18-ish in plastic beach‚ now she'd be in her 30s) #but i think the cyborg would always be a clone of noodle in phase two #so idk i doubt they'll do anything with this bc it's too character-heavy #but i'm very curious what the dynamic would be if they brought cyborg-noodle back. and if she wanted to be seen as her own person #especially if she's very different than the noodle we know today bc the ''real'' noodle has grown separately

[fleshdyke]

hchkvgjvfj

#csa warning for tags #goddd being raped at 6ish and brutally bullied is a hell of a combination #i was the one kid in not only my grade but multiple above and below me as well that the boys would dare each other to 'ask out' #absolutely CONSTANTLY. like jesus #by the time i was raped i'd already been bullied pretty badly for a while. including being constantly told i was ugly by all the boys #which is like. a huge reason i was raped in the first place. i still dont know who it was but i can only assume he took advantage of me #being constantly bullied to abuse me. as child rapists so often do #but like i was always the one that would be 'asked out' as a dare bc why would any of them want to talk to me #it was so inconceivable that any of them could want to be near me let alone 'go out' with me. they didn't even bother trying to hide the way #they laughed. like they didn't try to hide it bc they knew no one would do anything #and this happening to me fucking constantly for years on end throughout my ENTIRE childhood. that fucks with you man #like i dont think its even possible for anyone to like being around me at all. let alone find me attractive #there's still never been a single person who's had a crush on me or whatever #like all my friends have stories about annoying boys having crushes on them when they were younger. and what does it say about me that im #the complete opposite. and like it's so stupid because who fucking cares what 10 year old boys thought in 2016 but it really really fucks #you up bad man. like if anyone ever does come to be attracted to me for whatever reason i dont think im ever going to be able to believe it #i'm always going to be waiting for the joke to end and them to start laughing. i'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop #and the worst part of it all is that i fucking want to be raped again #being raped as a little kid is the only time anyone has ever wanted me. it's the only time i've ever been desired. and i dont even like sex #but it's just the only time anyone has ever loved me in a non parental way #like i have one crush story to all my friends'. and it was a grown man that raped me when i was little #and i want to be raped again so fucking badly not because i would enjoy it but because it would prove that someone actually fucking wants me #i want to be sexually harassed and not in the way i usually am. i want to be catcalled and have to be scared walking around alone #i want men to grope me and say disgusting things and rape me because then i would finally be fucking wanted #it would prove that i'm actually likeable in some capacity. that i still am #im so scared that now that im grown im just a lost cause. because i was only desirable when i was little. now im just nothing #and i know i shouldnt even care but its so fucking hard to shake. i just want someone to love me #and i love my mom so much but i want them to love me because they want to and not because they have to #rambles #vent