Tumgik
#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'
andthebeanstalk · 1 year
Text
Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.
And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.
I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.
But do you know what I found?
I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,
I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.
Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:
I was worth talking to when I was quiet.
I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.
So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.
You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.
(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)
#original#social anxiety#autism#that one post#actually autistic#self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills#socially awkward#socially anxious#autistic positivity#autism positivity#like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but#genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think#people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that#it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are#acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong#and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say#actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol#like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary#doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me#I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY#I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD
27 notes · View notes
nerdhappenings · 3 years
Text
First Viewing
Watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) for the first time!
I adored it.
It was amazing.
It had a different feel from the first one, cause, to me anyway, the first movie was more horror, while this one was more action.
It was also way funnier.
The visual effects were amazing, especially for the time.  They still look really good.  Some of the stuff I’m still not sure how they did.
~Spoilers under the cut!~
There was much more character development in this movie than the first.  It makes sense, since the first one was less character based than the second.
But it was great!
Miles.  I love Miles.  I got way too attached to Miles.  What a great dude.  He gave up his life’s work for these people that he didn’t know.  I’m so proud of him.  I got so upset when he died.  My younger sister, @icons-of-the-eighties/@chaoticallyrefinednerd/@reckoningbent, has it down to a science.  She says “if it’s a TV show and the person has a family, they’ll live.  If it’s a movie and they have a family, they’ll die”.  Honestly, from the stuff we watch, it’s pretty sound.  Like, next time you watch something and a character dies, pay attention.  It’s not completely accurate, but it’s true more often than not I think.
Also, Miles’ kid trying to protect him, even though Sarah had a gun and already shot Miles was absolutely inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time.  When Sarah broke down and started crying into John’s shoulder, too.  Broke my heart.
The T-1000 was.....really cool.  He was very intimidating, but in a different way from the T-800, which I really liked.  It showed that they’d developed and upgraded.  I thought he was genuinely creepy and scary.  Kudos to Robert Patrick.  He did an excellent job.  I guess he did training with a sprinter on how to run and stuff so he looked smooth while he did it, adding to the ‘next level machine’ feel.  Honestly, he was so unsettling.  Amazing.
Tumblr media
Also, the tricks they used to slip the T-1000 up were so clever.  Using a name that wasn’t actually the dog’s was so clever.
John was, for a kid, pretty good.  He definitely needed to be punched early on, but you can totally see why he’s like that, so the feeling isn’t too strong.  I adored seeing his dynamic with T-800.  They were an excellent duo.  10/10.  The comedy.  He also acted like a kid his age, at least for the most part, which is good.  I really like that you can see the development happening.  You can SEE him becoming the leader he’s supposed to be.  Great character development there.
Tumblr media
Sarah is a queen and we don’t deserve her.  I wanted to slap her a few times, but ya know.  She’s gotta have flaws, right?  But, like John, you understood her problems.  She’s such a strong character.  Her descent into her fury, rage and passion were totally understandable.  She’s very strong, literally and metaphorically, and she’s so independent.  That scene of her breaking out of the psych ward was so cool.  I’m so proud of her for staying strong and not giving in to anything.  Also, her reaction to seeing T-800 was fantastic.  Her literally acknowledging that T-800 was a good Dad is amazing.
Tumblr media
T-800.  A literal sweetheart.  I love him.  He’s so precious.  Great development for him, too!  You can see him learning, which is really neat.  I love that he made sure not to kill anyone after John told him not to.  He was such a cool dude.  I am devastated they killed him.  He was so helpful and kind, which is ironic.  Favorite character.  He was so sick.  Coming out of that building wearing a leather jacket with ‘Bad to the Bone’ playing is the definition of cool.  Seriously.  Look it up.
Tumblr media
The action was so cool and engaging!  Very intense!
The visual effects were phenomenal.  Amazing.  *claps for crew*  Great job, guys.
Soundtrack was awesome, of course.  I liked that the Terminator theme was heroic in this one.  I thought that was a great detail.
Go watch this movie.  It’s amazing.  I guarantee you’ll have a good time.
Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
knickynoo · 4 years
Text
My Top 10 Family Ties Episodes
Here it is, people. In no particular order because it would take forever for me to try to rank all these great episodes.
Also, I am for sure inserting a ‘keep reading’ because I cannot control my rambling. You have been warned. 
- “Death of a Grocer”: I consider this one a hidden gem of the 1st season for sure. Alex gives up working for sweet Mr. Adler to go sell cat toys at another store, but quickly discovers that the gig isn’t all he thought it would be. It’s a nice little bit of Alex character development as he learns that life isn’t all about climbing the corporate ladder. Plus, we see Skippy for the first time! 
- “Speed Trap”: Honestly, this entire episode is just so fantastic that I don’t even know where to start. Doing drugs is bad, people. But Alex P. Keaton on speed is one of the funniest things to ever be on television. Steven walking in on him painting his walls at 3am in a state of pure frantic energy?? Peak comedy. Also, Alex breaking into a neighbor’s garage to clean it. When he leaps over the railing in the living room. This is one of the episodes I could watch over and over again. 
- “Go Tigers”: Poor Mallory discovers that her boyfriend, who is away at college, is cheating on her. She’s distraught and interrupts Alex’s very important interview at Princeton. But, like the great big brother he is, he gives it up and walks away in order to be there for her. The loving, supportive words Alex says to her on the train ride home are beautiful. Alex is a good guy, everyone! Don’t let the snarky exterior fool you. 
- “Birthday Boy”: Alex thinks that turning 18 makes him a man who no longer has to listen to his mother. Whoops, joke’s on you, Alex. He goes out with friends after Elyse tells him not to, and the episode ends with a really great, heartfelt scene between the two of them. I love the mother/son dynamic in the series and this is truly a wonderful example of their relationship. (Plus, the whole thing with Alex invading Canada is just fantastic)
- “Philadelphia Story”: Alex falls asleep while working on a paper about the Declaration of Independence and “wakes up” in 1776. He watches Thomas Jefferson turn down the offer to write the document and has to convince him to change his mind. Before starting the series, I had seen some clips from this one online and was really looking forward to it. It didn’t disappoint. How can it, when you have this?
Steven (as Thomas Jefferson): “We hold these truths to be....obvious even to a big dope.”
- “The Real Thing” (Parts 1 & 2): Alex and Ellen. ALEX AND ELLEN. *blows party horn* *shoots confetti out of a cannon* Do I really need to say more? The train station scene is one of the best of the whole series and definitely one of Alex’s most vulnerable, in-touch-with-his-emotions moments. A lot of beautiful words are said by both of them, though I’m not sure if any of them can beat
“I’m crazy about you, I’d give anything to be with you, I can’t live without you. Okay? Gotta go, see ya.” ( Good job, Alex. A+)
- “How Do You Sleep?”: Alright, so this is a funny one but what I really like about it is that it hits home for me. I have always had trouble sleeping. Like, exhausted out of my mind, can’t think straight, but STILL not able to fall asleep until 4am type trouble sleeping. Much like Alex, my brain doesn’t slow down, and my mind spins with thoughts & worries well into the night. (Also the occasional song stuck in my head on a loop for hours. Not fun, friends.) Anyway, it was oddly comforting for me to see an episode that conveyed with alarming accuracy what an average night for me is like. And the ending scene with Elyse and Alex is absolutely precious. 
- “A, My Name is Alex”: This- I mean- listen...this episode destroys me. It is a constant barrage of such intense emotions that it’s difficult to watch at times. But it’s so good. It’s the deepest look we get into the mind of Alex P. Keaton, and so very important to understanding who he is and WHY he is that way. The scenes of “memories” in Alex’s life is so well done. Getting glimpses into how being labeled “the smart one,” “the responsible one,” etc and having so much pressure put on him shaped Alex into the absolute nervous wreck of a person that he is really puts him in a new light. It’s no surprise to me at all that this episode always makes lists of top TV show episodes of all time.
Side note: I first saw this episode many years ago when I was younger, having not seen anything else of the series or even knowing much about it. I was channel surfing & happened to catch it. I knew MJF as Marty McFly, so I was psyched to see him in this show! But there I was, with no context, watching this Alex character cry in a therapist’s office. It stuck with me, though. (That same day, I also saw the “I am a woman!” episode, lol)
- “A Tale of Two Cities” (Parts 1 & 2): Alex goes to a banking convention in Chicago with his boss and has to stay with her in her hotel room when they lose his reservation.  These two episodes are wonderful. I like seeing Alex start off as so boisterous and “annoying” but then end up being the level-headed and responsible one. The scene towards the end between Alex and Rebecca really gets to me, when Alex puts a stop to things before they get too far because he knows Rebecca is drunk and not thinking clearly. Good job, Alex. The side-plot of Steven being distraught over the kitchen being remodeled is great too. (Part 1 also has what I consider to be one of the best Alex rants in the entire series, but I won’t type it all out here because it’s too long.)
- “Be True to Your Preschool”: Alex pulls Andy out of preschool because he doesn’t agree with their teaching methods. Some really cute Alex/Andy scenes, and just a general example of how much Alex loves his little brother. Really though, one of the best parts is the mini plot of Mallory writing her philosophy paper. The assignment is to try to prove something exists, and she chooses Skippy. (which Skippy is thrilled about because it’ll settle a bet he has with his grandfather. I cannot even handle this show sometimes.) Anyway, Mallory ends up NOT BEING ABLE TO PROVE Skippy exists and gets an ‘F’. It. Is. Astounding. 
And there you have it, folks. 
23 notes · View notes
heypflo · 4 years
Text
Album Review: Short Sighted People In Power: A Home Recording- My Politic
I am hungover. Not like...in the sit down in the shower way, though. I am writing this just days after watching the hopeless horror show that was our first Presidential debate of 2020, and just a few hours after watching the Vice-Presidential Debate. I am emotionally dehydrated. Thankfully, My Politic’s latest effort, “Short Sighted People In Power: A Home Recording '' is serving as my intellectual Pedialyte. This raw, unfussy collection of songs wades through the View-Master of the current American consciousness and I think it’s safe to say that most people feel concussed in two very different ways right now. The point of Kaston Guffey and Nick Pankey’s latest release is not to convince the listener of anything, but rather to put antiquated and learned ways of thinking next to facts and have them duke it out. It takes the overused rebuttal of “yA gOtTa sEe iT fRoM bOtH SidEs” to its most literal level and, well, it is as uncomfortable as it should be.
The title track puts music to all the things that bounce around in your head before you lift your head off the pillow. “Short Sighted People In Power” morosely lists the “bigger than me” bullet points of anxiety that coyly creep over one’s shoulder; all those annoying flashbulb headlines that run on a constant loop in the ticker of your brain.  No matter who you are, those weary inner voices are louder now more than ever. Earth’s environmental ticking clock, the ageless, nationwide opioid crisis, the pockets that have been stuffed because of it, and, ultimately, the devastating wake of greed are all on display here. It’s a blunt brick to the head. Am I supposed to feel hope or the lack of it from the line “It’s gonna take every one of us to get what we want”? I haven’t decided yet.
One of the most compelling things about this album is that it plays like a conversation at the dinner table. It’s Thanksgiving. There you are, surrounded by your family and all the strings that both bind and divide you. You and your cousin in the “Feel the Bern” shirt keep exchanging glances at each other as the temperature of the room rises. If the previous track was the hushed, corner mouthed conversation you had with each other before dinner, “Wrong Side” is the one shouted from across the table at a horrified Grandpa Rick and drunk Aunt Sharon. It’s a hailstorm of a chorus that cries, “Fuck the President. Fuck the GOP. Fuck the folks at Fox News spreading lies on TV. Fuck you for getting us into this and refusing to see. It ain’t no side. It’s one side. It’s your side and it’s the wrong side.” The rotating solo at the end of the track perfectly encapsulates the cyclical nature of conversations like this. It’s hard not to feel like a hamster in a wheel of our collective frustration right now. Nothing seems to ever get done, but we are worn the fuck out.
As the conversation continues, Rick and Sharon get their time, too. Told from the perspective of someone who prefers their hats red and their presidents orange, “Fantasies of a Fox News Viewer” is perhaps the rawest and most uncomfortable song on the entire album. It’s every baseless argument you’ve ever heard in all its glory, lacking all logic and overstuffed with emotion. Xenophobia, white nationalism, homophobia, blind Biblical trust, and just straight up, cold-blooded fear are Pollacked all over the dinner table and you’ve completely lost your appetite. (Whew. I really need to get out from under this Thanksgiving metaphor, folks). The thing that struck me the most about this song was my inability to stop my head from bobbing to its anthemic chorus. It proudly chugs along and would pair very nicely with a drink of choice being held high above my head. I don’t even recognize what I’m saying when I sing to myself, “Yeah, I miss America the way it used to be. When I turned on my TV all I saw was people just like me.” I stop singing for fear that my neighbor or my dog may think that I *actually* believe the words I’m saying. But, isn’t that so indicative of how the web gets spun so easily? When information gets dressed in the gown of performative politics, reality distorts. Sarcasm is lost, truth is lost, context is a bug to squish and you’ve decided how you feel about something based solely on how someone else is telling you to.
As the funhouse mirror stretches on, “Voter Suppression” welcomes us deeper into the Conservative Carnival. The whispered countdown ushering in the listener sounds as if the narrator is hatching a plot. It’s both sinister and tantalizing, two classic ingredients for manipulation pie. This song could be invited to hang out with the satirical company of South Park and Saturday Night Live (on its good nights) and more than hold its own. I can’t help but picture Trump, McConnell, Pence, and Barr in little ill-fitting barbershop quartet outfits, cigars flopping out of their mouths, singing this while bouncing around a fake saloon in the middle of Silver Dollar City. However, “Voter Suppression” doesn’t lean on cartoonish exaggerations of the truth to get its message across. One person’s satire can very easily be taken as another person’s doctrine. After all, the best and smartest comedy is rooted in life’s uncomfortable truths.
I think we can all agree that the one constant of this year has been the unveiling of a lot of those aforementioned uncomfortable truths. In “All American Way”, the narrator, in two minutes, lists over thirty examples of absurd and very real reasons why Black people have been targeted by the police. The track opens with, “Can’t go jogging. Can’t go walking. Can’t watch TV in their own fffffuckin’ apartment.” (That isn’t a typo. Listen to it and you’ll see what I mean). Each verse is more hurried and breathless than the last and you can practically smell the smoke coming from the pencil marks on the paper when it was written. As each example rolls on, a new name scrolls across your mind’s eye. “Can’t get caught with a broken tail light (Sandra Bland). “Can’t get caught selling loose cigarettes” (Eric Garner) “Can’t get caught playing with toys” (Tamir Rice). Then, we turn to the names we wish we never learned at all and ones I refuse to type here. “They can shoot up Black churches. They can shoot up the schools… White folks can shoot ‘till they’re blue in the face and you can bet they’ll walk away. It’s the All American way.” That last line is sung like a salute. Hand over heart, chin in the air, hat off the head. And most likely, someone out there doesn’t understand why that’s disturbing.
Track 6,  “The Experts Told Us”, sounds like how we all felt about a month or two into quarantine, or as the song says, “when we traded hope for darkness.” Knowing what we do now about the president’s negligent withholding of information about COVID-19 and the impact it was going to have on every aspect of American life, this song sits heavy on the mind and heavy on the chest. “The experts told us. The science showed us. But the ego of the POTUS was too big to fight off again.” The sleepy harmonica woven through the last half of it is forlorn and exhausted. It sighs in and out at the bleakness of it all like it’s sitting in the driveway with the engine off; at the house, but far from home.
The wit of Prine, the gusto of Cash, the fire of Guthrie, among others, are peppered seamlessly throughout this album.  But make no mistake; My Politic’s voice is all their own. Nowhere is that more evident than on the closing track, “Talkin’ RNC Blues.” Here, the listener is taken on an anxiety and alcohol-induced fever dream that plops the narrator right in the middle of this year’s Republican National Convention. It plays like a comic book; vivid and distorted. I wish I could hear this for the first time again so I won’t ruin anything for you, but be prepared for some well timed laughs to lift you out of the funk, even for just a moment.
Through the inexplicable fog, we forge on to another day of 2020. But we shouldn’t keep acting like this is some kind of “cursed” year that we just need to get through. To suggest that the problem is the year on the calendar and the solution is the page after December would be flippant, to say the least. Despite all of it, meaningful art and the fearless depths it dares to go will always rise above the silence and drown out the static. My Politic’s “Short Sighted People In Power: A Home Recording” is now available exclusively on Bandcamp and is set for a wide release on all streaming platforms this Friday, 10/30. Just in time for you to play it over Thanksgiving dinner….or not.
5 notes · View notes
nodesiretogrowup · 5 years
Text
I LOVED THIS EPISODE! It was nice to have a kid-focused episode. The past few have focused a lot on the adults, so it was nice to see the kids in the spotlight again. It was SO COOL to see the kids playing off each other. We NEED more of it next season. Lena is my daughter, so I was happy to see her back, though I’d rather she not have to suffer.
Spoilers and more detailed thoughts below:
YAY NERF GUNS! Also, it was super sweet of the boys to reassure Lena that they know she’s a good guy now. 
LOVED all the different jammies on display. I usually rock something similar to Lena and Violet. Dewey in the footie pajamas gives me LIFE. And Huey with his hat. I’m surprised he didn’t say something along the lines of “Warm head, warm dreams.”
Super cute that Lena set this all up. My baby wants friends.
“Self defense weapons, all manner of booby trap.” I feel like Violet would have suggested having those no matter what. I love my slightly feral nerd daughter.
Beakley for BEST bodyguard.
“Nothing weird is gonna happen at this slumber party.” Webby, babe, you’re just ASKING for trouble.
Lena’s little song and cake! MY HEART! I think Huey may have drawn some inspiration from that cake, lol
“Time loses all meaning in the infinite night of the shadow realm.” HELP THIS CHILD! And again, I think Donald would be the perfect parent for her.
“You are a wordsmith!” Webby LOVES her shadow gf.
THE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS! AND THEY MATCHED EACH KID! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS GIRL!
Of course Louie is suspicious. He was wary of his mom AND just spent the last episode getting betrayed by Goldie.
“You literally sound like that now.” Huey, you need to learn how to read a room.
“That’s just my voice, I can’t help it!” I feel ya there. And a nice bit of foreshadowing
“I’ve found it’s clearer to convey no emotion whatsoever.” Also not a good way to talk to people.
Aw, Lena. Like Webby said, you don’t have to prove yourself. That seems to be a running theme this season. Dewey wants to prove himself to his mom, Louie wants to prove himself to anyone, and Della wants to prove that she is a good mom and fits into this family.
“That makes you super-extra-good, right?” “Math checks out.” You two share one (1) brain cell and that’s adorable.
Webby has no table manners and that is valid.
“LET’S EAT PURE SUGAR!” That is just a bad idea in general, much less for Huey.
What happened to Huey? Why was his mouth all grey?
“You know who my best friend is?” “Me.” “Sleep.” A.) Mood, B.) Dewey’s face is PRICELESS! You can’t win them all.
Sleeping Beakley is TERRIFYING.
“It might be sleepy-time.” Webby, you are TOO PRECIOUS!
Anyone getting some Nightmare on Elm Street vibes? Specifically the third one? I guess that was what they were going for, what with the title and all.
Concerned girlfriend is concerned.
MY POOR BABY! HASN’T SHE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!
“Do you need, *whispers* you-know-what paper?” Not sure if Beakley told her toilet isn’t something you should go around saying or if Webby doesn’t want to embarrass anyone. Either way, cute!
Lena pulls of Dewey’s do well.
One of the most precious moments ever! And a reminded that they are still pretty young.
WEBBY IS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND/GIRLFRIEND! *happy tears*
LOVED the shot of Lena with the stars reflected in her eyes.
Heck, the animation for all the dreams is AMAZING! I love how you can INSTANTLY TELL whose dream we’re in.
I’m glad they figured out that they were in a shared dream early. Gives us more time for wacky dream shenanigans!
Webby/hamburgers is otp
I like that they used the “you can’t read in dreams” thing. Nice touch. It looks like at least Launchpad, Scrooge, and Donald had a corresponding emoji.
“Why are you dialing a banana?” DREAM LOGIC!
SWORD HORSE!
Webby CANONLY kins Scrooge!
EXTREMELY EXTREME OBSTACLE COURSE
Louie putting a stop to unicorn shenanigans before they begin.
Those directions. Better than Penny’s at least.
Violet is blunt and to the point. She’s probably a Virgo.
LIVING for all the cartoony sound effects!
POOR LENA! AND YAY SUPPORTIVE WEBBY! Also, love Louie in the background being confused as fuck.
That cute little smile! I WOULD DIE FOR LENA!
I don’t think the whole “don’t wake a sleepwalker” thing is actually valid in real life, but here it’s probably a goodish idea. Magic is weird and unpredictable.
“LET’S FLY, BECAUSE WE CAAAAAAN!” I like the way you think. I love that Louie’s wings have dollar signs. And Lena’s bat wings are DOPE.
“I HATE WALKING!” Louie is MOOD.
Huey and Dewey crashing, lol
That unicorn got DEEP. And I now crackship him and Manny.
Lena walked into Snow White.
“I probably grew horrible bat wings for non-evil reasons.” It’s because you are a baby goth.
“I ATE A BUG!” Dewey, you are a special boy and that’s valid.
“Ew, Webby, why is there a school in your dream?” Again, Louie is MOOD.
Ugh, I wish I could make out what the sign in front of the school says. I see EXCELLENCE though.
Dewey CONFIRMED HSM fan. And I’m getting some Saved By The Bell vibes. He’s binged ALL the high school classics. This is probably how Mabel dreamed high school would look like before the crushing slap of reality hit her.
His hair and jacket. Too cute, expect for his hair being alive. That was freaky. I fear for him when he learns what high school is actually like.
His song. Dewey is in for HEARTBREAK. LIVE YOUR DREAM WHILE YOU CAN!
I know most people are going with Dewey is bi after the whole romantic interest thing, but I feel like he might be aro/ace. Dewey is threatened by choosing a romantic partner. I’ve kind of always seen him as ace though, so it might just be me. Or it could be him trying to figure out his sexuality, which is cool. I love that the crew threw that in. The boy is not straight in any way though.
I love that Dewey’s singing rivals are Beagle Boys.
“Who knows what that’s about?” “I have some theories.” SYMBOLISM!
Dewey Dude is upsetting even BEFORE it turned into Magica.
The balance between comedy and STRAIGHT UP HORROR was handled well.
Lena has watched Wizard of Oz.
“You ruined my big dance!” Priorities, Dewey. Louie looks relieved though.
Dewey’s hair looked super cute when it was wet.
Why did he and Lena taste the water? Is there some sort of significance there?
“I just failed a class called Dew-ology.” “Well I’m the class Dew-torian.” That’s stretching it, Dewey.
“I gotta get outta here.” Haha, Dewey’s dream is Huey’s nightmare.
Louie-field. I WANT PLUSHIES. Also, Louie confirmed furry?
“This is your dream? To be even lazier?” Don’t be a hater, Huey! Louie’s got the right idea.
Wonder if Beakley taking care of Louie-field means anything.
Seriously, Huey is SUCH a hater! He wants out of Dewey’s dream and he mocks Louie’s.
“HOW ARE YOU SLEEP-SLEEPING?” Don’t hate cause you ain’t. Also, I have napped in a dream once so....
Louie’s sleep face is MAJESTIC. HE’S BEAUTY, HE’S GRACE.
“I just am.” Louie is so wise.
Wolf Lena is BEST
Violet, there is a better way to talk about people’s psychological issues.
Why would you choose the litter box?
“WHY, HUEY, WHY?!” No arguments here.
I’m the eldest sibling like Huey and I’m the shortest of the three of us, so I get you, Huey. But there are better, cooler, less upsetting ways to manifest that dream. Like switching bodies with a tall person.
His legs make rubber band noises when he moves.
“Don’t listen to him! Follow your lame dreams.” What a supportive brother.
Huey’s dream is Dewey’s nightmare. Nice.
I too use my feet to do things, like opening doors or getting stuff off the floor. But opening jars of FOOD?! UNSANITARY AND YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.
Someone is a Spinel fanboy.
Or is he Slender-Huey?
“And it’s my dream to be in a montage.” While it is pretty dope, why does Dewey get two dreams?! Greedy little bastard. Are we sure he’s not the evil triplet, lol.
HERE’S HOW PHOOEY CAN WIN! Liked that they implied he’s the evil one. He’s a yellow, less 90s Dippy Fresh.
JUST SAY NO TO PHOOEY! His name means the f-word.
MORE DRAGON BALL Z!
NERD ALERT! 
Huey has found a kindred soul.
I like that Violet even has Quackfaster as a librarian.
“It’s almost 6am!” Your old man is showing. Sidenote-I tend to wake up around 6. I’m old.
“Go get some jobs!” Scrooge, do you know about child labor laws?
This is the second episode of this set that Scrooge comes off as a bit of a prick.
POOR LENA! At least all the kids care about her. The poor girl needs some friends.
“She’s gonna be cold without her sweater!” His heart’s in the right place.
I love that all the kids jump in after Webby immediately. NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND.
Louie just spinning in the background.
“I think this is more nightmare.” Thank you, Captain Obvious.
I want that castle as a playset.
Good lord this scene was hard to watch. It reminded me a lot of Raven in Ever After High (and Teen Titans Raven too). She’s so afraid of being predestined to become evil that it’s consuming her to the point that she can’t see anything else and feels stuck. Some of this really hit close to home for me because I deal with depression and anxiety and when a big episode hits it’s hard to find my way out. Luckily, just like Lena, I have a good support system.
 Magica gaslighting Lena was really upsetting to see.
Lena becoming Magica then a literal monster? LET MY DAUGHTER HAVE PEACE!
“Ugh, why does everything I say sound sarcastic?” Callback
Was that a hint at a Gargoyles reboot? I JOKE TO EASE THE PAIN!
#youtriedDewey
Dewey’s spinny eyes, lol
Webby is most competent fighter
Poor Louie. The past two episode have not been kind to him physically.
Lena will ALWAYS be there for Webby.
POOR LENA!
HURRAY FOR SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS!
FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, BITCH!
“It’s fine, FINE!” Just wait for puberty, Huey. It will be slightly less disturbing.
I TOTALLY CALLED THAT THIS WAS A PLOT FOR MAGICA TO GET HER POWERS BACK! YAY FOR BEING RIGHT!
Magica is meth aunt.
“I don’t need you. You need me!” THAT’S MY GIRL!
FERAL
I bet Magica is gonna lie about still having powers so she can get close enough to Lena to regain her powers and stab everyone in the back. Whether or not she succeeds... 
Boyd and Lena should start a club. The “I thought/felt like I was a real, flesh and blood being, had an existential crises over it, and am trying to deal with my evil relative” club. Huey’s the moderator, he’s working on his consoling badge.
38 notes · View notes
Text
The Many Deaths of Fabian Cortez
Once again, @thecorteztwins inspired me to write something stupid about Fabian, featuring his many deaths and resurrections on Krakoa as he annoys every woman on the island.
Warnings for the usual level of Fabian-style sexual harassment and groping.  A couple of the deaths are gruesome, but nothing described in much detail.  One of the deaths got a little more angsty than funny, sorry about that.  Also sorry for any continuity mishaps, I’m not familiar with a few of the characters in here.  I characterized Chrome and Delgado based on thecorteztwin’s headcanons for the personalities.  Under a read-more, because this sucker wound up long. 
The first time it happened was when Fabian made the monumental mistake of flirting with Selene.  He’d already been trying his luck (meaning “pestering and in some cases straight- up assaulting”) with some of the gentler, less violent mutants. Dr. Cecilia Reyes simply covered her body with a forcefield when he attempted to grope her, then pushed him aside when he persisted.  Wallflower used her pheromones to induce a jolt of fear that sent him scurrying away. Sooraya shifted into a cloud of dust and reformed on the other side of the island after Fabian commented that it was a waste for a beautiful woman like her to cover herself completely (Icarus promptly punched Fabian in the nose to “discourage” him from trying again). Meggan played dumb blonde and asked Fabian to explain, several times, what exactly he meant by “Does the carpet match the drapes?”  She finally flew off when he failed to recognize the obvious brush-off.  
           So Fabian was brimming with unearned confidence – because the women’s non-homicidal attempts to rebuff him had been, in his mind, “playing hard to get” – when he decided to approach the former Black Queen.
           “Well, it’s your funeral, man,” Dominic said, lifting a beer as if to toast him.
           “Because she’ll literally fuck me to death, you mean?  Not to worry!  I’ve got incredible stamina and a very healthy heart.”
           “Don’t listen to him, mate, go for it.  Tell her about how you’re the ‘true pinnacle of homo-superior,’ she’ll be real impressed.”  St. John couldn’t finish the sentence without snickering.
           “It…seems like a bad idea,” said Simon nervously.  He hadn’t really intended to fall in with the bad guys, especially since he’d been trying to prove himself as an X-Man, but the original Pyro had immediately glommed onto him with a pushy, aggressive friendliness. And he supposed they weren’t really doing anything wrong just sitting around drinking and swapping stories.  It was better than awkward run-ins with Iceman, who was trying to pretend that the two of them hadn’t banged.    
           “Shush, Baby Pyro.  Let the man do his thing,” St. John said, tossing back another Jack and Coke.
           “Please don’t call me that,” Simon muttered.
           “Yes, I shall now ‘do my thing,’ as you so eloquently put it.  Try not to eat your own hearts out with jealousy when she falls into my arms,” Fabian said as he swaggered off.
           “She’s gonna eat his heart.  Literally,” Dominic grunted.  “Why are you even encouraging this, Johnny?”
           “Because it’ll be hilarious, and there’s fuck all to do on this island. I’m about ready to start writing again, I’m so bored.”  
           “Ugh, don’t expect me to help edit if you’re gonna start in with more of that Harlequin romance crap –“
           “You are literally the last person I’d ask to help edit, you illiterate wanker – “
           “Hey guys, I think he’s making his move.”  Simon pointed across the way, interrupting the quarrel.  (Simon had already recognized that original Pyro and Avalanche bickered like an old married couple, and drawn his own conclusions about that.)  Fabian was trying to casually lean against a tree while chatting up Selene, but had misjudged the distance, and was now stuck in a weird diagonal slant.  He made a vain attempt to compensate by pushing off the tree in a series of awkward, one-handed push-ups, while flexing his other arm.  Selene stood with her arms crossed like a very sexy, very terrifying statue.
           “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” Dominic snorted.
           “This is bloody brilliant, it is.  I’m absolutely putting this in my next book.”
           “It’s gonna be a comedy, then?”
           Fabian had stopped the push-ups, and was now gesturing at Selene, then back at himself.  He ran a hand down his chest and abdomen in what he probably assumed was an alluring manner.  Selene hadn’t moved, but something in her posture seemed tenser than before.  Simon thought he could see a vein standing out in her forehead.
           “Wish we could actually hear him,” St. John remarked.
           “I like him better when he’s out of earshot,” Dominic responded.
           “You almost gotta admire him, in a way, haven’t ya?  I mean, the sheer bollocks on the man to walk up to the Black Queen and try to put the moves on her.  Most men’s dicks would just shrivel up in fear.”
           “Is it really brave if he’s too stupid to be scared?”  Dominic crushed his empty beer can and pulled out two more, tossing one across to Simon.
           “Yeah,” Simon put in.  “It’s kinda like jumping the fence at the zoo and trying to pet a lion.”  The sense of camaraderie was making him feel more at ease. The alcohol helped, too.
           “See, Other Pryo agrees with me.”
           “Please don’t call me that, either.”
           Across the way, Fabian gestured again at Selene, then cupped his hands and twisted them around in an obviously lewd gesture.  Selene finally broke her stance, grabbing Fabian by the front of his shirt and pulling him forward into a passionate kiss.
           There was a collective gasp from the three mutants watching.
           Then, a dark energy crackled over the two embracing.  Fabian’s eyes widened in fear, and he attempted to pull away, but Selene put her hands on the back of his head and forced his mouth down onto hers. The blackness rippled across Fabian, then drained into Selene, who seemed to stand taller and stronger while Fabian’s muscular body withered in her arms.  Soon there was nothing left but a desiccated corpse, which Selene contemptuously tossed aside, wiping her mouth and looking like she’d just enjoyed a full meal.
           “Alright, Dom and Baby Pryo.  You’re both right.  The tosser is just too dumb to live,” St. John conceded.  
             The second incident showed that Fabian had not learned any kind of lesson at all from his experience with Selene, as he decided to proposition Mystique. The exotic blue skin, contrasting with her fiery red hair and revealing white costume – how could any man resist? And why would she dress in such a way if she didn’t long for male attention?  Her cold, aloof temperament added to the appeal, with an exciting hint of danger.  (Of course, for most would-be suitors, it was significantly more than a “hint” of danger. But Fabian was never one to notice things that didn’t fit into his world view.  As far as he was concerned, she only needed the right man – himself – and she would melt into his arms like a delicate snowflake.)  
           She presented a particularly dangerous picture as Fabian approached, cleaning and oiling the guns that she had spread along the table.  Sitting across from her, Toad was absorbed in his Nintendo Switch, waiting for her to finish so that they could start planning the next mission.  He’d earned some downtime, and was determined to get in a little practice so that Doug Ramsey wouldn’t destroy him at the next Smash Brothers game.  Again.
           “Mystique.  Why is a beautiful woman like yourself doing such base manual labor?”  Fabian slid into the seat next to her.  “Why not leave it to him?”  He gestured across the table at Toad, who briefly looked up from his game to scowl back.
           “No one touches my guns except me.”  Mystique did not look up from her work.  “What do you want, Cortez?”
           “Just to spend a little time with you, so that we could get to know each other better.”
           “If you don’t have anything interesting to say then stop wasting my time.”
           “I have many, many interesting things to say to you.  But perhaps it would be easier if we had some privacy. If the third wheel sitting across from us would possibly take a hint?”
           “Stay, Toad,” Mystique insisted.
           Toad nodded.  He wasn’t really paying attention to the game anymore, as he couldn’t resist sneaking up glances to watch Cortez be inevitably put in his place.  He felt a little bad about it – indulging in that kind of schadenfreude was an unhealthy habit of his from back in the early days of the Brotherhood.  He had so desperately wanted Magneto to love him, and he’d spent so much of his life as the unwanted, outcast butt of every joke.  It gave him a thrill of glee to see someone else get in trouble for once.    
           “If that is your wish, Mystique, I will allow it.  But you may prefer that we move this someplace more private once the conversation becomes more….intimate.”  He reached out to brush a hand against Mystique’s cheek, and she jerked away, looking up at him for the first time.
           “What is this actually about, Cortez?  Do you have information or some kind of plan in mind?  I know you’re a devious little shit and I can respect that, but cut to the chase.”
           “Very direct!  I like it. I love it when a woman takes charge.” At least as long as her “taking charge” happened to coincide directly with Fabian’s own desires and fantasies. “My ‘plan,’ as you so delightfully put it, is simple.  You. Me.  Enjoying each other’s bodies and experiencing pleasure that you couldn’t possibly imagine.  We could find a bedroom, or a secluded spot on the beach –“
           “Are you fucking kidding me?”  Mystique snapped.  “I thought you had something I could use, but you’re just hitting on me?”
           “And why not?”  Fabian stood up, spreading his arms wide to better show off his muscular chest.  “Am I not incredibly attractive?”
           “You’re making a huge mistake,” Toad warned, now openly watching the scene with his chin resting on one hand.  “I’d back off while you still can.”
           “I didn’t ask you,” Fabian said coldly.  “And pull your tongue back into your mouth, you repulsive creature. She’s probably too disgusted by the sight of you to respond to my advances.”
           Toad slurped his tongue back up out of sight, tucking the excess into his cheek, which now burned with embarrassment.  The long tongue had been a later mutation, and he’d never quite gotten used to it. Keeping it all inside made his mouth feel uncomfortably full, and it often lolled out without his noticing. But he was all too aware that others found it disgusting.
           “You’re far more repulsive than Toad could ever be,” Mystique said, standing up to face Fabian with her arms crossed.  Toad felt a small spot of warmth blossom in his chest.  He certainly didn’t feel bad anymore about watching Fabian get what was coming to him.    
“Understand, because I’ll only say this once,” Mystique continued.  “I am not, and will never be attracted to you.  I do not desire you or your company in any way – sexually, romantically, platonically.  Do not speak to me again unless you have something relevant to say.”
Fabian seemed taken aback for a moment, then he grinned.
“So, you’re saying that you’re only going to refuse me once?  I get it, you like a man who persists, who makes you feel that you are worth fighting for.  I won’t make you say it again.”  He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned in for a kiss.  His lips never touched hers – instead, Mystique’s hands moved rapidly, and there was a sharp cracking sound as Fabian’s head wound up facing the wrong way on his body.  He dropped to the floor.  The whole thing happened too quickly for him to even register surprise, so his now slack face, with eyes glazed over, still held some hint of hopeful anticipation.
           “Wow, that was…sudden,” Toad muttered, his tongue slipping out again. Mystique just looked at him, one eyebrow raised.  
           Toad shrugged back at her.  “I mean, you did warn him.”
           “If anyone asks, he tried to take one of the guns.”  Mystique was absolutely not in the mood for an Xavier lecture, it was even worse than a Magneto lecture.
           “Agreed.”  Toad nodded.  
              The third time, Fabian made what he believed was an entirely innocent gesture.  He saw a lovely ass, barely covered in tight black booty shorts, and he gave it the playful slap that such an ass invited.  
           Obviously, his first mistake was in assuming that clothing was an invitation for touching, and that he had a right to put his hands on anyone’s body.
          His second, and ultimately more important mistake, was that the ass in question belonged to Illyana Rasputin.
           Illyana whirled around at the touch, and her eyes narrowed.  Whatever pick-up lines Fabian had planned shriveled and died on his tongue as her piercing blue eyes seemed to stare directly into his soul. A chill ran through his entire body, and he shuddered involuntarily.  For once, Fabian was immediately aware that he had gotten in over his head.  This was no woman, it was a demon wrapped in a beautiful body, meant to lure in innocent men like him.
           The she-demon reached out a hand, and said a single word.
           “Limbo.”
           The word seemed to echo in Fabian’s ears as the ground melted away below his feet, and he dropped into a glowing circle.
           Later, Illyana would claim that she had only intended to teleport him across the island, far away from her.  It was a complete mistake that Fabian had somehow wound up stranded in Limbo, and torn apart by demons.  And hey, that wasn’t her fault, right?
             The fourth time, Fabian had retreated back to familiar ground – his own beloved Acolytes.  He’d led the group for so long, and served under Exodus (despite the man being painfully unfit and incompetent), so surely they’d all welcome him with open arms. And there was his own dear sister, resurrected at last.
           Unfortunately, Anne Marie was a bit miffed at him for the events that had led up to her death, which Fabian thought was rather unreasonable.  It was so long ago, Fabian could barely even remember it. Who could really say anymore who betrayed who, or who caused Asteroid M to crash?  The important thing was that it all ultimately came down to Magneto’s poor leadership.  Anne Marie didn’t quite see it that way.  She directed an icy glare at him whenever he ventured into the compound that most of the resurrected Acolytes had chosen to share.
           “Anne Marie, have I mentioned recently how happy I am to see you returned to us?”  
           “Chrome, please tell my brother that I am not speaking with him.”
           “Fabian, Anne Marie says – “  Chrome began in a deadpan.
           “Yes, yes, I heard her,” Fabian hissed.  His sister’s stubborn hostility hurt him more than he expected, although he was used to her being childish and willful, having grown up together.  He hadn’t actually intended for her to die all those years ago; he hadn’t imagined she’d be so stubborn as to stay by Magneto’s side until the end.  
           “Look, Anne Marie, things were complicated back then.  I had a plan –“
           “Chrome, please tell my brother to stop making excuses for his despicable betrayal of Lord Magneto.”
           “Fabian, Anne Marie says –“
           “Chrome, why are you participating in this immature nonsense?”  Fabian snapped.  
           “Because it amuses me, and I like her better than you.”  Chrome was blunt as always.
           “Fine,” Fabian sighed.  “But let me remind everyone that we’ve all been reborn on this island to start fresh, all sins forgiven.  Why don’t we let the past stay in the past?  I mean, I’ve died several times now, I don’t know why you’re all making such a big deal out of it.  And Magneto is alive, anyway.  He’s alive and thriving, so no harm done.”
           “Disagree,” Delgado muttered, from the corner by the window.  He was staring longingly out at the trees and sunshine, but unwilling to leave his team-mates alone with this snake.
           “Why are you even here, Cortez?  Are you recruiting for your stupid harem again, or are you going to try to replace Exodus.  Because you must know neither of those things are ever going to happen,” Frenzy spoke up from the table, where she and Unuscione were splitting a bottle of wine.
           “You say ‘start fresh,’ but you’re the same as ever,” Unuscione added.  “You never change, Cortez.”  
           “Why should I change when I am so magnificent?  Perfection itself!”  Fabian exclaimed, although his enthusiasm withered a little under his sister’s glare.
           “I have rarely met anyone so completely and utterly wrong,” Chrome snorted. Fabian paid him the generous favor of ignoring him.
           “Rest assured, I am not here to reclaim my rightful place of leadership. Although I’m not sure why you all wouldn’t want that.  Someone has to take charge.  Magneto is running the island with Xavier, and Exodus has abandoned you all to go tell stories to children.”  
           “So, it’s the harem, thing, then?” demanded Frenzy.  “It’s always one or the other.”
           “My friends, can’t I just visit you all out of the goodness of my heart?”
           ‘That has never happened,” Chrome pointed out.
           “Ever,” Delgado added, quite unnecessarily, Fabian thought.
           “Loooook,’ he adopted a soothing tone.  “I just think that we should all start thinking about the future.  After all, we’re going to be living out our lives here.  And eventually, we’ll no doubt start forming family units.  It’s only natural.  And one of the rules of Krakoa is to make more mutants, after all.”
           “Wow, there it is,” put in Unuscione.  “I knew you’d get there eventually.”
           “I think we need to sort this out early, so that it doesn’t get…messy later on,” Fabian continued.  “After all, I’m only one man, and there are only so many hours in the day.  We don’t want fights breaking out.”
           “Oh my god, will you just leave?” Frenzy exclaimed.  “We don’t want you around.”
           “Now, now, don’t get excited.  I know you deny your feelings because you don’t think you’re worthy, but I assure you, I find you extremely worthy.  You and Unuscione both.”
           Unuscione jumped up from the table at this point, forcefield spreading across her body, but Frenzy put an arm in front of her.
           “The other mutants already think we’re violent trouble makers,” she said. “Let’s not prove them right.”  
           “Yeah, but….it’s Fabian.”  Unuscione gestured at Cortez as if his very existence explained everything.
           “I know.  Let’s finish this wine and then go burn him in effigy.”  
           “I like the way you think.”
           “So……”  Fabian folded his arms, giving a long-suffering sigh.  “No one is willing to help propogate the mutant race with me, despite my obvious superiority in all respects?  And all because you’re all holding a grudge over a few tiny little mistakes in the past, that weren’t even really mistakes, just part of a long-term plan – “
           Fabian was interrupted by a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. He heard Delgado call out his sister’s name, and whirled around.  He didn’t quite complete the turn, as the wine bottle was snatched up off the table and shattered against his temple.  
           Fabian collapsed amid a spray of red wine and broken glass.  His vision rapidly fading, he looked up to see his sister standing over him, holding the end of the broken bottle, her face contorted with rage.
           “You are not forgiven,’ she whispered, and then both sight and sound faded as he slipped away.
           “Hey, we were drinking that,” said Frenzy, although her annoyance faded as she looked up to see Anne Marie starting to shake, tears spilling out of her eyes as she dropped the bottle.  “Um, hey….you okay, hon?”
           “It’s okay, Anne.  He had it coming.  And they’ll just bring him back next ceremony anyway,” Unuscione said.
           “We’ll take it from here,” said Chrome, as he and Delgado came to stand on either side of Anne Marie, gently taking her arms.  She looked at both of them with a dazed expression, and then down again at her brother, the tears continuing to drip down her cheeks.  
           “Come with us, Anne Marie.  Outside. You’ll feel better,” said Delgado. The two former Acolytes led Anne Marie outside, and they sat together for a long time under the trees, quietly watching the birds
.  
                 The fifth time it happened, Fabian had learned a few lessons, and decided to approach some meek, sweet-natured mutants again.  Which is why he was sitting next to Marie-Ange Colbert, the former Hellion known as Tarot, with his arm draped presumptuously around her shoulders.  The way she seemed to quietly shrink away did not bother him.  Obviously she was just shy.  The sense of innocence and vulnerability was very attractive. Someone sweet and kind was exactly what he needed after the pain of his sister’s betrayal.  He couldn’t get Anne Marie’s face out of his mind, so twisted with hatred.  He shoved the image aside, and focused on the beautiful girl in front of him.    
           “I’m sorry, Monsieur Cortez, but our destinies are not in any way entwined. The cards are not favorable,” Tarot said.  She attempted to shrug off his arm, but he pulled her in closer.
“Your superstitions are adorable, my dear girl,” he purred.  She seemed so lovely and pliant.  He’d tried approaching the exotic one with the tail and lavender hair, but she’d hissed at him in a way that was really unbecoming, then run off into the woods.  “But we mustn’t let them stand in the way of true love.  Imagine the possibilities of the two of us together!”
           Tarot turned slightly green as she unintentionally imagined it.  
           “Hey, that’s enough.  She’s not interested, and you need to take your hands off her.  Now.”  James Proudstar stood in front of the pair, scowling down at Fabian.  Although he no longer considered himself a proper “Hellion,” he still felt some responsibility to watch over his resurrected team-mates on Krakoa.  His fierce expression and massive bulk would make anyone with common sense hesitate – but Fabian was not known for his common sense.
           “We are having a private conversation,” he said smugly.  “If the lady is not interested, she can tell me that herself.”
           “I’m not.”  Marie said firmly.
           “My dear, you play hard to get.  Why don’t you say it like you really mean it?”
           “She’s not interested.  Now back off.”  Jetstream joined his team-mate towering over the pair.  Two other Hellions – the muscular Beef and electro-powered Bevatron came up behind them in a show of support.    
           Sitting off to one side, Empath watched the proceedings with a quiet smirk, enjoying simply being able to watch things again. On Krakoa he’d fallen in with his formerly deceased team-mates largely out of familiarity.  Given that people like Selene, Mr. Sinister and Apocalypse had been invited to the island, his own comparatively minor crimes were largely forgotten.  He hadn’t really changed at his core – he was still a cruel, narcissistic bastard who enjoyed the suffering of others.  But his time spent blind had humbled him and taught him an important lesson – to shut up and stay under the radar.  It was nice to see the group united in hating someone that wasn’t him.
           “And what will you do if I don’t, as you so crudely put it, ‘back off’?  There is a proscription against violence on this island, as you all well know.”
           “No, the rule is we’re not allowed to kill humans,” James corrected. “Mutants can always be brought back.” Manuel nodded in agreement.  Amara had burned him to ash a couple of times before declaring a kind of “truce” in which he agreed to never speak to her again and she agreed to stop killing him.
           “Yes, yes, but we are discouraged from starting meaningless fights,” Fabian pressed.  “We don’t want to disrespect the island by wasting precious resources.”  Mutants killing mutants wasn’t technically against the rules, but the killer had to explain their reasons.  A mutant who killed too frequently and easily would be put in a brief “time-out”: imprisoned within the island itself like the mutants who killed humans, but for a much shorter time.  They had to have some deterrent, or else old grudges, plus the villains living among them, plus the cathartic ability to murder without consequences would quickly turn the island into a bloodbath.
           “That doesn’t seem to stop you from getting killed.  Over and over again,” Haroun pointed out.  “Even more than de la Rocha, somehow.”  
           “Yes, we are getting really tired of watching you come back in the resurrection ceremony,” Bevatron agreed.  “It is supposed to be a sacred ritual.  It kind of – how you say? – ruins the magic.”
           “We’re all gonna have to watch it again if he doesn’t take his arm off Tarot right now,” Beef said, cracking his knuckles ominously.    
           “Are you all really threatening me?” Fabian sputtered self-righteously.  “Just because I dare to love?”
           “There is no love!”  Tarot finally snapped, flinging his arm aside and standing up, putting some distance between them.  “I want you to leave me alone.  Right now.”
           “My poor, dear girl.  You are confused by your team-mates’ lack of respect and understanding.”
           “She’s not confused, she’s rejecting you.  Take a hint, jerk.”  Roulette walked up to join the group glowering down at Fabian.  She had waves of blond hair and fuller curves than the slim Tarot, and Fabian felt his desire stir for this one as well.  So many worthy mutant women on the island.  The fact that he didn’t have a harem assembled already was proof that the universe was a cold, indifferent place with no sense of justice.  And certainly not because he was doing anything wrong.  Anne Marie’s face flashed up again, and he shook his head to clear it, gazing again at the blond.  
           “Such harsh words from such a lovely vision of a woman.  Don’t be jealous, there is room in Fabian’s heart for both of you.”
           “That’s it –“  Beef started to step forward, but Roulette put a hand against his chest.
           “No need to start a fight,” she said, summoning a glowing black disc into her hand.  “We’ll just give this ass a healthy dose of bad luck to encourage him to back off.” She tossed the disc at Fabian, who attempted to catch it, only to have it disappear within his hand.  
           “Sorry, was that supposed to harm me in some way?”  Fabian scoffed.  He stood up, arms extended.  “As you can see, I’m fi-“
           He was cut off as he stepped on the end of his cape, and staggered backward, falling over the bench that he and Tarot had been sitting on.  As his feet kicked up, one of his boots flew up into the air, hitting a tree branch that had been weakened by rot.  The branch came crashing down.  Fabian gasped and rolled away at the last second.  Unfortunately, his trajectory took him right across a nest of fire ants, and he had only a moment’s respite before they came boiling out of the ground, stinging enthusiastically.  He leaped to his feet, shrieking and batting at his clothing, running in a blind panic.  His cape snagged on a tree branch, and yanked him back off his feet, his head slamming down on a rock.  Then everything was quiet for a moment, Fabian limp and still on the ground.  
           Jenny burst out laughing, while Tarot had her hands clasped over her mouth in shock.  James walked over and gingerly nudged Fabian with his foot.  
           “Wow, Jenny, you killed him.”  
           “Oh my god, I didn’t mean….”  Jenny gasped between bouts of laughter.  “I mean, that was amazing, but I really didn’t mean to kill him.  But that was amazing, wasn’t it?”
           “Oh dear,” Tarot sighed.  “We will have to explain this.”
           “Ugh, I don’t want another Xavier lecture.  He’s such a self-righteous prick,” Jenny scowled.  Then her eyes fell on Fabian’s discarded boot, and she began laughing again.
           “I’m sorry guys, it’s just…it was like a cartoon.  Totally worth it.”
           “It was an accident,” Haroun asserted.  “We all saw it.  You were just trying to drive him away and protect Marie.  We’ll back you up.”
           “Don’t worry, Roulette, I caught it all on video,” Empath announced, pressing a few buttons on his phone.  “Aaaaaaaand it’s up on Youtube now.”
           “Manuel, no!”  James scolded.
           “Manuel, yes!” Haroun countered.  “Let the whole internet see that bastard’s humiliation!”
           “Hey, look at all the hits already!  This is going viral, Jenny,” Manuel said, turning the phone towards her.
           “Oh wow!  I’m gonna be a Youtube star!  We’ve gotta find a way to monetize this!”  Jenny gushed.
           Meanwhile, deep in the forest, oblivious to the recent events, a lavender cat and a russet wolf slept curled up against each other in a contented pile of fur.  
             The sixth time, Fabian didn’t even manage to stay alive for ten minutes.  He noticed, as he came out of the pod naked and dripping, that many of his fellow Upstarts seemed to be getting brought back at the same time.  
           “What happened to you?” he demanded of Shinobi Shaw, who was facing the crowd with no shame about his nudity.  Probably enjoyed giving them a show (and flashing his own father), as did Fabian himself.  One silver lining of his frequent deaths was that the mutants gathered for the ceremony got to see his glorious physical perfection.
         “Orgy went wrong,” Shinobi said with a smirk.  “Never try to have an orgy in a cave that floods at high tide.”  
           “You couldn’t just leave?  Also, why did no one invite me?”
           “We were way too involved to just get up and leave when the tides started coming in.  Some people were in very elaborate restraints.  Including me.  Also, we were all pretty wasted.  We’re the whole reason Storm is giving a speech right now about being responsible and how our lives are precious resources not to be wasted.  Blah, blah blah.”  Most people would be embarrassed about drowning in a drunken orgy, but Shinobi seemed to hold it as a badge of honor.
           “Why wasn’t I invited?”  Fabian demanded again.  “I mean, look at me!”  
           “It was just kind of a small-scale thing, really,” Shinobi began, as more mutants emerged from the pods.  “Just a few of us.”
           “Wait, are those the Marauders?”  Fabian asked, looking at the newly resurrected mutants.  “Did you invite the Marauders and not me?”
           “Oh, no,” Shinobi assured him glibly.  “I’m sure they all died at the same time for unrelated reasons. Sinister’s always cloning them, anyway, he probably just wanted an upgrade.”
           “Hey, Shinobi!  Great orgy!” Riptide waved from across the way. “You are absolutely the blow job king, my friend, I concede the title.”
           “Okay, maybe a few Marauders got invited.  C’mon, some of them are pretty hot.”
           “Shinobi, loved the orgy,” called Arclight.  “Let’s do it somewhere less lethal next time.”
           “Nah, it’s not a good orgy unless a few people die,” put in Scalphunter. “Makes it more exciting.”
           “Are you kidding me?” Fabian exclaimed.  “All of the Marauders and not me?  Have you not seen this?”  He gestured down at his crotch.  
           “Oh, I’ve seen it.”  Shinobi smirked again, not even having the decency to look sheepish for all his lies. “It’s very impressive, but women don’t seem to like the way you use it.  And you don’t seem willing to let me touch it.”  
           “I don’t swing that way,” Fabian said, although an image of Quicksilver popped up in his head for some bizarre reason.  “And what do you mean women don’t like the way I use it?”
           “Let’s just say I’ve…heard some complaints,” Shinobi said.  
           “Okay, you know what?  Let’s do this whole orgy thing over again,” Fabian declared.  Seeing the nude women around him was already sending blood down to a certain area, and lust was amplified by a frustrated anger.  “We’re already naked, let’s start now.  And then we’ll see who has complaints!”
           “Much as I love the idea of giving the crowd a show, I think you’re jumping the gun a little here, Cortez,” Shinobi said as Fabian marched over to the nearest pod where a woman was emerging.  He pulled her up against his body, and found himself staring into the eyes of Siena Blaze.
           “Heard I missed the orgy.  I’m sure you were incredibly disappointed.  Let me make it up to you, right now.”
           “Let go of me, Cortez,” Blaze ordered, trying to pull out of his grip. He held her closer.
           “Don’t be shy.  We’ll give the crowd a show they’ll never forget.”
           “-look well, mutants.  Once again, your own have been brought back to you.  See them and rejoice, for – oh, by the Goddess!” Storm exclaimed, as her speech was interrupted by a piercing scream and a muffled explosion.  She looked over to see Siena Blaze, her hands smoking, standing over a bloody splatter that had formerly been Fabian Cortez.
           “Um, sorry….”  She shrugged. “He grabbed my ass.”
           “Fine,” Storm groaned.  “Stand with your fellow mutants and let the ceremony continue.”
           “Okay.  Oh, hey, Shinobi!  Great orgy!”            
             “We have to do something about this.  It isn’t just the waste of resources, it’s the message we’re sending. People can’t just kill each other with impunity.”  Magneto had come to consult with Xavier about the “Cortez” problem.  All of his killers had been subject to investigation and some minor punishment, but the pattern seemed to suggest that Cortez himself was the problem.  “Maybe we just shouldn’t bother bringing him back.  The man is a snake. I should know.”
           “Unacceptable,” Xavier responded calmly.  “All mutant life is precious.  We will waste none of it.”
           “The man is a disruption.”
           “He’s followed the rules so far.  There are far worse people living on Krakoa than Fabian Cortez.  We must treat him fairly.  And I must admit, his eagerness to breed is very in line with our goals here, if he could just find a willing partner.”
           “But we can’t let this ridiculous cycle of death and rebirth continue, can we? Maybe a time-out in the earth for awhile.”
           Xavier leaned forward with a cryptic smile.  “I believe I have a solution.  And it will require only a minor psychic tweak at his next resurrection.”
              At the resurrection ceremony, Fabian Cortez emerged from the pod for the seventh time in a month.
           “What is your name,” Storm asked him, quietly praying he would last longer than ten minutes this time.  It was all getting very repetitive.
           “Fabian Cortez.”
           “And how do I know that it’s you, Fabian?”
           “Who else could possibly measure up to my greatness?”  
           “It’s you,” Storm sighed.  She presented him to the crowd, which responded with muted applause, mostly from younger mutants who hadn’t met him yet.  
           As Fabian stood to one side while the other, much less important mutants returned from the dead, boredom began to wear on him.  He’d been through this so many times, and there was only so much enjoyment he could get out of displaying his body to the crowd.  He glanced around, spotting a beautiful young woman next to him with dark skin and flowing black hair.  He believed Storm had introduced her to the crowd as Threnody, but he hadn’t really been paying attention.  He let his eyes wander appreciatively up and down her body, then sauntered over.  No harm in a friendly proposition, especially since they were both already naked. Maybe he’d finally get to participate in an island orgy.
           “Hello, beautiful lady.  Today is your lucky day, because you get to experience the glory that is Fabian Cortez.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him.  Then his mouth dropped open in shock, because the face starring back at him was his own sister, with her lighter skin and short blue hair.
           “Anne Marie, I….how?  Why did you look like….I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to….please forgive me…”  The idea of hitting on his own sister filled Fabian with revulsion, and even the faintest hint of guilt.  He hadn’t forgotten her face after she struck him down.  On some level, he was perhaps apologizing for many things at once.
           “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?  I don’t know any Anne Marie.”  His sister pulled away and stepped back, suddenly transforming back into the dark-skinned woman.  “My name is Melody.  I don’t know you at all.”
           “I’m…sorry.  I was confused for a moment.”  All sorts of odd feelings were twisting around in Fabian’s stomach.
           “Fabian!”  A voice called from the crowd, and Anne Marie emerged, walking up towards the platform where he stood.  “I’m right here.”
           “Does this mean we’re on speaking terms again?”  Fabian asked hopefully.  Anne Marie’s mouth was still set in a hard line, but her eyes had softened a bit since he saw her last.
           “Killing you was rather cathartic.  I worked some things out of my system.  But don’t press your luck, I’m still angry with you.  There’s a reason for what you saw.  Come with me and Xavier will explain everything.”  Storm ignored the entire exchange as Anne Marie pulled Fabian off the stage and walked off with him.  He’d come back so many times, it didn’t really matter if he stayed for the entire ceremony.    
           “Psychic trigger?!” Fabian exclaimed.  
           “Yes,” Xavier continued.  Fabian and Anne Marie were meeting with him in a private room, after Fabian had thankfully been given clothing to wear.  “You have been killed multiple times because you are incapable of showing the women on this island the slightest hint of respect.  You let your reproductive urges lead you around.”
           “Isn’t that a good thing?”  Fabian protested.  “We are meant to make more mutants.  I want to do exactly that.  In fact, I’ll work extremely hard at that task.  Can’t you just assign me a few partners?”
           “That’s not how we are going to do things here,” Xavier said firmly.  “We will not go down the road of forced breeding.”
           “It’s worked out okay for the Inhumans,” Fabian tried.
           “No, it hasn’t.  There’s a streak of instability running through the royal family, people are still born with useless or debilitating powers, and the lack of freedom has the entire society boiling over with repressed emotion.  It’s no wonder Black Bolt’s brother manages to organize a coup every other month.”      
           Fabian shrugged.  He couldn’t really argue with that.  His encounters with the Inhumans had all been thoroughly unpleasant – especially that obnoxious, back-stabbing lunatic Maximus the Mad.  He couldn’t believe he’d ever considered the man a convenient ally. Never again.  And he definitely meant it this time.
           “So, what….I’m going to see Anne Marie in every woman until I find a willing partner?  That seems unfair.”
           “It’s entirely fair,” said Anne Marie.
           “The illusion will only kick in when you approach a woman with lust and disrespect, as you so often do.  When you think of her only as a sex object, and not a separate person with her own needs and desires.  Then, the psychic trigger will make her appear as the only woman you care about more than sex – your sister, Anne Marie.”
           “B-b-but….how long is this meant to last?  What am I to do in the meantime?  A man has needs, you know.”
           “There are ways to take care of your needs without bothering anyone,” Anne Marie said all too knowingly for Fabian’s tastes.    
           “It will last until you manage to show respect for a woman that you desire. Until you can put her needs above your own lust, and love her as a person, not a sex toy.”
           “Ugh, but that could take yeeeeaaars!”  Fabian whined.  “So few of them are truly worthy of me.”
           “It’s our solution to the disruption you’ve caused on this island.  Consider yourself lucky that you are not spending time in the ground, that is much more unpleasant.  But we wanted a merciful solution.  I will admit, there is some value in your presence, Cortez,” Xavier continued.  “Every group that has encountered you seems to have come away with stronger ties of friendship and camaraderie between them.  In a way, it seems, you managed to bring people together.”
           “Yes, because I have excellent leadership skills,” Fabian agreed.  “And people are drawn to my strong charisma.”
           “That’s….not exactly the reason why.  But nonetheless, your presence has produced some positive affect.  With this psychic trigger, hopefully the positive will outweigh the negative.”  
           Xavier dismissed them rather abruptly.  Fabian sulked as he walked beside Anne Marie, heading back towards the Acolytes’ set of rooms.  
           “Honestly.  A psychic trigger.  As if I’m a child.  Or an animal that must be contained.”
           “Well, one part of you certainly is,” Anne Marie muttered.  Fabian scoffed.
           “Look, try to think of it like a fairy tale.  You’re under a curse –“
           “Until I find my one true love!”  Fabian finished.  He rather liked the idea.  He was, of course, a handsome prince under a curse from a wicked sorcerer, who was just jealous of his good looks and flowing head of hair.
           “Until you learn a lesson.  Look, Fabian.”  Anne Marie turned to face him.  Her face was still stern and set with anger, but he could also see pain – carved into every line on her face.  It made him feel….not so good.  
           “I’m not over what you did.  I won’t be for a long time.  It hurt. But our Lord Magneto is alive again, and so are we all.  And Krakoa really is a place for new beginnings.  So maybe you can be better, too.  Please try.  For me.”
           She kissed him softly on the cheek, and walked away.
Notes:
This got slightly more serious than I intended, I just wanted a silly story where people got to kill Fabian in hilarious ways. Oh well.  This also turned into an excuse to write a bunch of neglected characters that I like hanging out and occasionally sleeping together.  Shinobi is definitely going to try to bang both Pyros at once.  He may or may not succeed.      
I don’t know all the Marvel women’s ages, but just assume that everyone Fabian hit on was at least 18.  He’s a sleaze, but he’s not that much of a sleaze. Also, Meggan was probably just visiting her old Excalibur team-mates, she lives elsewhere with Brian.
11 notes · View notes
ducktracy · 4 years
Text
35. the queen was in the parlor (1932)
release date: july 9th, 1932
series: merrie melodies
director: rudolf ising
starring: n/a
Tumblr media
another cartoon with goopy geer! the last merrie melody, moonlight for two, DID star goopy geer, but i was hesitant to say so, unsure of whether it was just a lookalike, but the fact that he’s in this merrie melody leads me to believe that he was a bit of an entity for awhile. as the title suggests, the king returns to his castle to find his queen in the parlor, refusing to see anyone else.
Tumblr media
as all good cartoons do, this one opens with a swaggering king atop his mule, greeted to thunderous applause as he steps off and marches down the aisle, eating up the attention.
quickly he grows tired of the “long live the king!” chants, snarling “but where’s the queen?” a group of knights whisper “the queen!” to each other down the line (imagine “hermie doesn’t want to make toys” from the rudolph special. it’s basically that), including a stereotypical jewish king at the end of the line. that certainly didn’t age well and makes me cringe as i watch it, but i digress.
a group of squires launch into a call and response rendition of “the queen was in the parlor”, the king providing various interjections throughout. love the barbershop harmonies as always! gags including a mouse popping out of a knight’s helmet to interject a verse, and a dog (an actual dog) clad in armor itches itself through the armor and lets out a bunch of fleas that have been hiding.
Tumblr media
look at the personality in that walk! you know me, i’m all about my walk cycles and how they’re great indicators of personality when executed properly. great example of a prideful, no-nonsense and ultimately hard-to-take-seriously walk! the king marches into the castle to see what the fuss is about.
Tumblr media
it turns out the queen WAS in the parlor! who would’ve guessed? she’s knitting away at a sock, while the poodle from the goopy geer cartoons (and freddy the freshman) is riveting away at a suit of armor. the king enters as his throne takes a life of its own and scuttles up to him, ready to be sat on in an act of servitude.
Tumblr media
the king summons his jester, who is none other than goopy geer. again, another great walk cycle! unfortunately, it doesn’t say too much about his personality: it seems he adapts to whatever setting he’s in, whether he’s a lounge piano player, a redneck, or a jester. gotta give him credit on his versatility, though!
goopy provides a few bars about the king (old king cole), who “called for his crooners three!” the dog on his jester stick(?) says “crosby, columbo, and vallee!”,
Tumblr media
which prompts the rudy vallee caricature from crosby, columbo, and vallee to pop out of a jack in the box and sing “for you”. i love my caricatures, so i find this particularly amusing, especially when old king cole hits rudy on the head and gripes “I’D RATHER HEAR AMOS N’ ANDY!”, a reference to the popular radio comedy show hosted by freeman gosden (amos) and charles corell (andy). unfortunately, as you can probably guess, the comedy show was a minstrel show—but it was adapted to television in 1951 where actual black actors took the stage. you learn something everyday! even though i was oblivious to what amos ‘n andy was until a google search later, the delivery is spot on and the joke hits just as well. i’m loving this bastard of a king—finally, personality!
Tumblr media
after a brief impression of amos ‘n andy (again, this aged poorly), goopy skips down through the parlor, pressing his ear to a door. a dog, doing an impression of tony wons, asks “are ya listenin’?” he raises his fist and asks “HMMM?” to which goopy stammers “yeah, i’m walter winchell”, referring to newspaper columnist and radio commentator walter winchell, known for trading gossip around. a few alcohol bottles explode and goopy runs towards the camera, yelling “OKAY, CHICAGO!”, another reference to winchell. even though these icons aren’t at all relevant or known today, these jokes still fascinate me and i can only imagine how funny they were to a relevant audience!
we have our standard merrie melodies dancing interlude, with goopy dancing around and bouncing his feet off of a few spittoons. fun synchronization as always! there’s also a shot of a cat (the one from it’s got me again!) hunting a mouse, but getting scared off once the mouse emerges from its hole, clad in armor.
Tumblr media
once more, the villain enters! he slams the door in the face of the fan-faring trumpeter, who blows out a few notes (sounding like a car horn) on his crinkled horn. the trademark “harman-ising flameball spit” comes into play once the villain spits on a suit of armor, reducing it to nothing but bones.
the poodle girl who was riveting a suit of armor is singing, and the villain advances on her, ready to kidnap. he runs off with her captive, but goopy swoops in to save the day.
Tumblr media
spittoons, flaming spit, villains, damsels in distress, all of the essentials to a harman-ising produced cartoon all in one! sword fights can also be added to that list as goopy and the kidnapper engage in combat. goopy momentarily gets thrown into a cabinet, the crash forming a suit of armor made of pots and pans. goopy charges are the villain, who swings at him. now, a stuffed goat’s head falls on goopy.
Tumblr media
in the manner of a goat, goopy rams into the villain, forcing his armor to break. the villain is exposed in his long underwear, and in some delightful, melty, rubber hose goodness, he mixes the shrapnel in a cocktail shaker (just like bosko in ups ‘n downs) and pours himself a brand new suit of armor, iris out as he runs for the hills.
as for as merrie melodies go, this one wasn’t half bad! the highlight of the short was definitely old king cole. i love him! i wish he had a bigger role in the short, he’s oozing with personality and all sorts of great possibilities. no offense to goopy, but he doesn’t do much for me. he’s pretty bland and lacking in personality, maybe even moreso than foxy and piggy. he comes off as more of a plot vehicle than a standalone character. i enjoyed the celebrity references—i learned some interesting new information today (though goopy talking in a minstrel dialect doesn’t age well at all, even for a quick joke, and the jewish knight joke is in extremely poor taste). there are better merrie melodies out there, but there are worse ones, too. i’d give it a watch, just because the king amuses me so much, but it wouldn’t be a crime if you skipped it this time.
link!
3 notes · View notes
Note
Most disliked arc (chapter)? Why?
The saltiest cracker you know is me, Bepsi!10. Most disliked arc (in this case, chapter)? Why? 
I bet you saw this shit comin a mile away huh?
Chapter 2.
Now, it might surprise you, but Hoshi dying isn’t even the worst part of the chapter for me. That’s more emotionally gut punching me and my hopes and dreams that joke characters can live past chapter 3. Actually, Hoshi is without a doubt the BEST part of Chapter 2 even with his death, just because of how amazingly he’s written. 
Sadly, even Hoshi cannot save this chapter from showing just how RUSHED and UNPOLISHED it is. Because holy jeEZ THERE’S A LOT WRONG (albeit it’s personal opinion for the most part). So while you may know them, or may learn something new from my opinion, that’s all cool! Under the cut as Chapter 2 is dissected and torn into to learn why it is sadly, my least fav of V3.
- RUSHED.
Now, this is really easy to see, and I’m sure many others have noticed it as well, but it bears a lot of repeating because it’s a problem. Chapter 2 was rushed to high heavens, in the sense that it mainly serves to push the plot along and nothing more. Things happen too quickly in the story at that point, and while the rest of the game is better off for it, this is the ONLY chapter that REALLY does it so blatantly, and it feels very choking as a result of it.- Tenko’s attachment to Himiko needed to happen, absolutely, but I feel like more should have been done in Chapter 1 to show Tenko trying to talk to her more? Maybe, “OOO maybe himiko wants to be my friend??” and more interactions that show that Tenko isn’t just attaching herself to Himiko b/c she’s “the creepy gay” character. - Toujou becoming the fucking supermaid. This one is the most obvious, but mmm. Everyone relying on her suddenly feels super forced, as characters like Shinguuji and Hoshi and even Maki herself, all ask Toujou to do something for them. It feels out of character for them, and the fact that THAT interaction is the MOST she gets in Chapter 2 before the trial is fucking trash and I’ll explain why in a later point, but you can just TELL that they needed SOMETHING to give her ANY story relevance, and it hurts her character a LOT. - Kaito suddenly wanting to help Maki’s super fucking weird. Maybe if it showed Kaito like “sorry Shuichi maybe later, I wanna try talking to Maki” more in this Chapter to really see that he wants to help her, or even just him going more like “hey Shuichi wanna include Maki in our training? I feel like she could use it.” or ANYTHING that mentions Kaito reaching out to Maki more. Because as it is now, it feels like he’s suddenly placing an all or nothing bet and it makes him, p unlikable at that point b/c Shuichi just goes with it for seemingly no reason because “yeah I guess i gotta progress the plot”. - Those are the main points. Maki is done surprisingly well, actually, she’s really good here. Being sus like that and actually not letting you do FTE’s was cool, and i liked it a lot. Angie’s slow buildup was also pretty good as well, but I think they coulda put Tsumugi in w/ Himiko at some point so it’s not ‘suddenly everyone’s brainwashed!’ in chapter 3, as a slower buildup would do it good! Or at least, more buildup, I should say.
- CLUNKY.
This one is a bit harder to explain, and it goes in hand with the pacing issue, but lemme try. Some of the events and dialogue in Chapter 2 just feel, really clunky? Like, Shuichi’s an emotional guy and I totally understand that, but I don’t think he’d just spill his feelings to the guy that punched him for showing weakness not even 2 days ago? I dunno, maybe it’s just me. It feels like a lot of Chapter 2 was glued into the story as requirements rather than actually to tell a story. It comes in a lot of ways, as previously mentioned a lot of relationships are just ‘suddenly there’ rather than actually built up, IE Kaito and Maki, Tenko and Himiko, etc... and it makes the entire Chapter feel like it’s meshed together with ideas that Kodaka REALLY wanted to be in the game or knew would happen later on, but just couldn’t fit them in, so he shoved them in an early chapter and hoped for the best.
- TOUJOU’S ABILITY TO DO JACK DIDDLY SHIT IN TERMS OF STORY.
Somehow, they managed to make one of the stars of this chapter barely active in it. Can you fucking believe that? Like, no really, if you work off of fan translations I want you to open the translation you have, hit CONTROL+F and search for Toujou and see like, the 30 lines she has before the trial. It’s so MINIMAL, it’s so BASIC, and in those 30 sentences she’s treated like a PLOT DEVICE rather than a CHARACTER. I’m sure a bit of the reason as to why Toujou isn’t as popular as most of the other girls is just how hard the Chapter hits her in terms of not giving her any character development (even in the bonus interaction she’s just “i do this for my job” for fucc sake). Like, even if it was played for a laugh that she’s just so constantly work-focused, or the writing took it as a bit of a punchline for some dry humor (”hey toujou what’re ya doin?” “working.” and just have awkward eye contact and the ‘WOW this is awkward’ thought in Shuichi’s head after a few “...” between the both of them as it happens. easy comedy. see???) it at least would make her seem somewhat important compared to the cast. Honestly, it’s like the Tsumugi Effect but in 2 chapters instead of 6. By doing nothing in terms of plot, she basically puts on this huge fucking sign that says “HEY GUYS IM NOT STORY RELEVANT BECAUSE NOTHING IS HAPPENING TO ME SO I WILL PROBABLY DIE AS A KILLER OR VICTIM” Her trial behavior is really hit or miss as well, because some might find her ruthlessness to be really cool and makes her actually fucking interesting at any point in the story, while others might find it unlikable, excessively cruel, or just out of character for Toujou no matter how desperate she may be. Let alone that her US demographic prolly tanked quite a lot w/ her story focusing on POLITICS of all things (one of the three no-no’s in any conversation), making her very very hard to like, besides on an aesthetic level. Let alone her FTE’s are the worst in the game, as you still barely learn anything about her outside of “im a maid and im good at my job” or other points that the main story already tells you (besides that she once coddled a man so hard he became dependent and that her only weakness is not cutting konjac right ever). It just makes her feel like a barren and incomplete character.
- TOUJOU’S ABILITY TO DO EVERYTHING SO WELL SHE CAN EVEN FUCK HERSELF OVER AMAZINGLY.
Everyone has heard me go on and on about this, but if it doesn’t get said no one will know it so I keep repeating it until the end of time.By making her plan so complex, she basically fucks herself. By making a crime that only someone as competent as her could accomplish, it fucks her because only she can do it. XD. Literally, who do you think would have been able to do all that shit in one night? Saihara’s too weak to drown Hoshi. Don’t fight me on this, because if you seriously believe the detective in training with little self defense training (he worked on infidelity and missing pet/kid cases for fuck sake, his life isn’t really on the line all that often so he prolly wouldn’t know or have to train all that much to protect himself) can take the tennis player that killed over 200 people and has been playing tennis basically all his life (enough to go INTERNATIONAL in MIDDLE SCHOOL) in a fight, we’re gunna need to have a talk.Gonta’s too heavy to use the ropeway.Kiibo’s too heavy to use the ropeway and too weak to carry Hoshi’s body.Himiko’s too weak to drown someone and attempt to shove them in the staircase (which I will touch on real soon here on why even attempting to frame her the way Toujou tried to was dumb as shit).Angie’s... lbr here, prolly missing a few too many tools in her toolbox to really think of a ropeway to kill Hoshi with.Shinguuji’s too weak (and before I get arguments on this, if u think this underweight twig of a man can take out Hoshi when Hoshi’s prolly faster than him and could just run ur wrong)Maki who was the Child Caregiver at the time would be seen as too weak to do anything to Hoshi too (even if she lifts kids, again, Hoshi is fucking rIPPED and has killer legs)Ouma’s too weak (i mean he’s underweight and looks like a twig)Kaito’s a fucking moron when it comes to master plans and wouldn’t have been able to plain something like a ropeway murder (let alone his idol complex wouldn’t have let him kill Hoshi most likely... unless it was a Mondo situation but that’s a later talk)Tenko’s also a fucking moron when it comes to long term planning let alone she wouldn’t touch a man unless to flip him to death, which makes the ropeway seem almost pointlessTsumugi’s too weak to (i mean... rlly. u rlly think she could take him down? under the assumption she isn’t the mastermind ofc at this point in the story, but even then sneak murdering all the kills seems kinda.... eh? too hard for her to do.) Miu’s also a fucking moron that wouldn’t think of using a ropeway (actually, she prolly woulda done the smarter option and just pushed Hoshi’s body out his fucking window since a ropeway would be too much effort)By process of COMMON SENSE, only Toujou would make something so NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED in an attempt to murder a guy. 
- THE DUMBEST PLAN ON EARTH AND HOW YOU COULD PLAN A SIMILAR MURDER AND GET AWAY WITH IT EASY. 
Toujou’s plan is fucking dumb when you can think of SO many other ways to get Hoshi killed with more leeway as to who coulda done it. So I bring up the window in his lab, because literally you could just push him out of it and the fall would prolly splatter that midget cunt on the ground no problem. Hell, even handcuff him. Nearly anyone could have pushed Hoshi out of the window, meaning there’s a possibility that Maki or Kaito could have done it w/o that stupid fucking ropeway let alone anyone at night (or hell even during the DAY since time of death was obscured), and it wouldn’t LEAVE THE FUCKING GLOVE.MMMM OKAY RANT HERE REAL QUICK I MEAN IT THAT FUCKING TRASH BAG GLOVE IRRITATES ME. Like, hhh I know Kodaka wanted to make a case where something like the glove gets the killer caught, but HOLY SHIT was it poor to use in a case like this. It not only feels like it’s out of place for her not to just get it in the morning, but why the fuck would she use her gloves anyways?? Why not use Hoshi’s hat? Anyone could use Hoshi’s hat as hand protection down the moronic ropeway and since it’s a beanie it’s prolly made of more strong material than I guess whatever her shit gloves are made of, since they tore like fuckin trash when she went down the ropeway. As someone that wears cut and heat protection gloves because of my job, the gloves she uses are HORRIBLY inefficient (let alone if she’s cleaning before touching food w/ them on... like please don’t that can cause so many health problems) to try and stop ropeburn. She could have also just poisoned everyone, or killed them all in their sleep, to make her job easier on herself. Can’t have a trial if no one’s there after all right? No one would suspect Toujou working on her fuckin job to come and snap their necks during the night or w/e, or poison their food before the show. But also framing Himiko is really fucking dumb. Like, she expects me to believe that Himiko, who is only 2 more pounds than Hoshi mind you, managed to drown him and stuff him in that staircase, and pull him out during the show in under a minute. LOL no. Hoshi looks like he can break her arms like fucking toothpicks without even trying?? Let alone her laziness makes it look REALLY hard for her to have planned a fucking murder. The fact that like, the first hour of the trial wants me to believe Himiko could be the killer is asinine, just because of how basically fucking illogical it is.What Toujou could have done instead, was leave his body drowned in the sink. Yeah, it’d be harder because not everyone can drown Hoshi (ie. Himiko and Ouma and prolly a few others that are considered sticks or weak), but there are a lot of people who could, and drowning someone is a lot easier than the stupid ropeway piranha bullshit. OR PUSH HIM OUT HIS WINDOW. JUST KILL EVERYONE THAT WAY COME ON.Actually, she coulda killed two people easy. Just have someone gullible like Saihara come to meet her at night in the lab after she’s already pushed Hoshi out the window (or even just come running to his room with a bullshit excuse that she saw a shadow ‘running away’ and saw that something happened in the tennis lab) and push him out the window too. Boom, makes it look like a murder gone wrong, and the only alibi that’d be able to testify about the events is hers. Easy win, everyone else gets executed.I get it, in the end, it needs to be a solvable mystery in a mystery game, but it ends up making Toujou look like a complete moron as a result of it, which is unfortunate.
- MOTIVE VIDEOS ARE RIGGED AS SHIT.
Upon learning what hers and Hoshi’s are, it seems almost rigged that they would have to be the killer and victim respectively. Hoshi’s telling him to ‘kys’ and Toujou’s saying ‘lol go kill someone’ makes it like... even if everyone else saw theirs that they’d be like.. the only two to really act on theirs besides MAYBE Miu or POSSIBLY Angie. And then we also see Ouma’s?? And his is just actively “lol u don’t kill bitch but u should do it anyways” making it seem almost counter productive. Like, bitch it just said Ouma made a rule that no killing was a thing and u genuinely expect his ass to break that? ha. The odds were stacked against the two of them, which makes it only seem more forced in the long run. Which is great from a meta standpoint, but a story can be meta while still being fun, enjoyable, and flowing functionally and logically. Which this chapter isn’t really.
- THE SADLY NOT REDEEMING BUT STILL SUPER GOOD HOSHI FACTOR.
Now, the one thing that I can praise this chapter for really well despite all its shortcomings is Hoshi’s characterization and his story. For one chapter he really makes a hard hit at the time, and it’s easy to become engrossed in his little background story about him wanting to find a reason to live. The real cherry on top is his writing and his interactions with the few people he interacts with. with Kaito, it really shows the disposition that Kaito has against him and just how Hoshi is so understanding of others and like... nice. Even when he wants a goal that goes against everyone, he still respects them. “I won’t do something reckless to endanger everyone.”, and acknowledging that it’s an entirely selfish reason why he wants to find the videos and will still not hurt anyone to do it. He may have threatened to show Maki’s video to everyone in exchange for his own from her, but he never hits her or directly harms / threatens her w/ violence or anything extremely dirty. It’s respectable. Ohhh, and Saihara’s dynamic with him is just so sPOT ON HERE. Between the great advice and compliments in general he has for Saihara such as “the world can be bright for someone that’s looked down for so long, be careful” and “you’re confident compared to before, like a weight is lifted off your back. it’s a good look for you” and other such flattery, to Hoshi being a bit more open to Saihara about his feelings (feeling jealous about everyone else having a reason to live, wanting to find one himself, openly admitting he feels he has no purpose in his life and wants to find a reason to be happy like everyone else, etc.). But this dynamic goes both ways, as Saihara also can read Hoshi super fucking well. Like, seeing the Tennis Lab is a great example of it. When Hoshi states the past is behind him, Saihara thinks to himself ‘but then why are you looking at the court with such sad eyes Hoshi-kun?’ and it’s like, just really nice that Saihara’s not dense? Like, Hoshi expresses himself pretty poetically, with the way he talks and whatnot, acting like a wise sage type w/ endless wisdom all the time, so Saihara being able to read past all the flowery language to just hear “god i miss tennis” or “im depressed” is really REALLY refreshing, and a nice balance to see. If you do Hoshi’s FTE’s it personally makes it even better, but that’s not a requirement so moving on. Even just Saihara asking him things like “are you doing well?” or “Is this what you want?” or “or just the small but surprisingly deep talks they just seem to have with one another are tiny details that really complete the dynamic that they can both read each other and can react to one another super well. It feels balanced between the both of them, even in Chapter 1, and it’s a shame Hoshi had to die because I would have LOVED to see how far it could go and how much it could have been expanded on in the later chapters. 
Sadly however, no matter how great Hoshi is, it can’t save Chappie 2 from it’s endless faults and gripes that I have with it, that ultimately make the story less entertaining as a result.
4 notes · View notes
ladyloveandjustice · 6 years
Text
Spring 2018 anime Overview: My Hero Academia Season 3 (Episodes 1-13)
Tumblr media
My Hero Academia comes back with a bang for season 3. The students are sent to a superhero training camp, but chaos erupts when villains invade. (Check out my take on season 1 of MHA on Epicstream here, my take on the first arc of season 2 here and my anime overview of MHA season 2 here)
Both My Hero Academia’s strengths and weaknesses persisted in this season. That means annoying bullshit with Mineta sexually harassing the girls as ~comedy ~ , the girl heroes in general being underserved and the occasional bit of sexist or sexualized nonsense. However, it probably says a LOT about My Hero Academia’s strengths that I’m still watching and enjoying. 
The characters and their dynamics are so much fun, the fights are some of the best I’ve seen in shonen, the animation is phenomenal and this series can hit the emotional beats so hard and so well. I had so much fun watching this season that I actually couldn’t resist doing a weekly recap/liveblog partway though, which you can check out here if you want more detail on my thoughts and other weirdness.
So this season starts off with the kids at a training camp and though it’s a little bumpy at first (we’ll get to that later), the stakes quickly get wicked high when the villains invade. We also get a little world-building, showing a kid who’s very cynical about superheroes after his parents died in the line of duty. The show hasn’t really gone into what families of heroes go through, and seeing it approach that territory is pretty cool.
Tumblr media
Of course it’s up to Deku to prove the worth of heroes, and the fight where he defends Kota is just BOMBASTIC. The action, the visuals, the voice acting, everything is on point- it’s such a simple, not-all-that-uncommon story, but the show executes it with such sincerity and style you’re utterly blown away. Deku’s desperation to save the little boy, his terror when he thinks he’s going to die, the ridiculous bone-breaking feats- it all really hits you. 
MHA’s strength is the way it can take simple shonen/superhero plots and elevate them by just going all-in, heart and soul, with total confidence and not a hint of sneer. it’s here to give you a lavish spectacle that has real heart and belief in the power of heroes and the greatness of these characters, and it succeeds. This holds true for the other big fights of this season, particularly All Might’s big one.
Tumblr media
Oh boy, does this season have the All Might feels for ya. It was pretty nice to finally learn a little bit about where he came from, and it was very cool to find out he’s carrying on the legacy of a woman, that she’s his mentor and inspiration, and he carries her words and teachings to motivate him in times of need. It’s still sadly rare to see male heroes being inspired by the legacy of women and looking up to them, so I gotta give my props-she’s straight up superhero Mia Fey, and we all know how I feel about that lady. it’s especially nice to see from MHA, which has struggled a lot with adult female characters.
Anyway, All Might’s big fight is pure shonen in the best way, it’s brutal and devastating and over the top and ridiculous and it’s genuinely something that is going to hugely impact the show going forward. You don’t want to miss it
Tumblr media
But honestly, MHA’s biggest strength this season may be how it dealt with the aftermath of all this. It was careful to immediately depict the emotional fallout all this violence would have, and the way the characters were going to have to change in response and the conversations they need to have now. That’s a crucial element that’s missing from so many shonen and adventure stories, so it’s nice to see MHA really nail it.
Dead Moms in shonen are kind of a meme, and they’re ubiquitous in young adult adventure stories in general. However, in MHA our protagonist has a living mother who’s struggling to support him, and the show takes the time to explore her feelings over seeing her son get put in life-or-death situations while the older heroes fail to protect him. She puts her foot down, and this is portrayed with far more sympathy toward her than a lot of adventure shows would have. Both All Might and Deku have to acknowledge they’ve been unfair to her, and Deku’s response is surprisingly mature. It’s a very powerful scene that feels grounded in real emotion and it demonstrates the importance of having characters just honestly communicate with each other.
Tumblr media
“Legacy” has always been one of my favorite aspects of superheroes, which is unfortunate for me because American comics have a tendency to reset the timeline and erase their legacy heroes. But there’s a real sense of legacy in MHA and it’s a big theme. Heroes will die, they will retire, and new generation will need to step up. 
I love that sense of the fight being passed down, of older heroes teaching the younger ones, of the youth carrying those memories and teachings forward. Nobody is permanent, but feelings can last forever if you pass them on. 
I’m glad to see the show is leaning into this more than ever, I’m glad to see All Might realize he’s been inadequate as a mentor in some ways and redouble his efforts. I look forward to seeing how the dynamic shift.
Tumblr media
It’d be remiss not to mention Bakugou in an overview of this arc, since he was pretty central. I’m honestly surprised by how much I enjoy his character, the way the narrative uses him is just so interesting-the idea that even the villains noticed how much of an asshole this kid is and decided he would fit in is pretty funny, and his reactions to the whole situation were pretty fun and exciting to watch. This season definitely made me understand him a lot more (I go into it more during my recap here if you’re curious) and I’m interested to see where he goes from here- he hasn’t gotten much kinder or seen the error of his ways, and I doubt he will any time soon, but I see signs of progress and his worldview seems to be cracking.
 I once again appreciate that while he and Deku are big influences to each other as “rivals”, neither of them is the center of each other’s world or the one who will “save” the other. Deku straight up says that he can’t be the one to “reach out” to Bakugou and he’s accepted that Bakugou would never reach back to him, so when it comes to appealing to him, he elects someone better qualified. That’s a pretty unusual thing to hear a shonen hero say about ANYONE, much less his rival, and the fact their dynamic doesn’t follow the standard is way more interesting to me.
So yeah, I enjoyed the first part of season 3 a lot. But there was some bad stuff. Of course there was. And we gotta talk about it.
Tumblr media
The secens of Mineta trying to sexually harass the girls early in the season are some of the worst the show has to offer yet- even when he fails, the girls are still threatened and sexualized. I do appreciate Kota for trying to murder him over it. If only he had succeeded, he would have been the biggest hero of them all. But it’s just galling that the teachers know about Mineta’s behavior and he hasn’t been punished, considering this school is supposed to be about heroism and goodness.
 Horikoshi’s gross handling of older female characters continues, we straight up have a 31- old lady superhero whose entire personality is she’s ~desperate to be married~ because she’s ~so old~ and excuse me while I bang my head into the wall. It’s especially stupid to see this overused cliche persist since the average age for marriage amongJapanese women to get married is much higher than it used to be- it’s 31, so she shouldn’t feel like she’s “past the deadline”, she’s absolutely average. But nope, gotta have those stereotypes- even to the point of having her hit on teenage boys, because that’s not creepy. Oh, and when it comes to the big fight she just gets knocked out immediately.
Tumblr media
To be fair, Mandalay, who’s the same age, seems sensible and competent enough and we actually finally do get an important, inspirational older female superhero with Nana (though she’s dead, so, there’s that). 
The girls get some nice moments this season (Itsuka was badass) and they all remain competent and fun characters, but they’re noticeably sidelined a lot when it comes to fighting especially- both Tsuyu and Ochako conveniently can’t get to one big fight on time so its all boys and while Momo was super awesome in being saavy enough to put a tracer on the villains when they kidnap a classmate- without her efforts the big rescue couldn’t have even taken place at all- it’s very noticable that all the boys on the rescue squad gets to play a physical role in the rescue while Momo just has to stand there.  
Tumblr media
And the one female villain on the massive villain league- well, her whole thing is she’s horny in a creepy way, because of course it is. But hey, at least Mt. Lady finally got to do something besides be a sexy joke for once!
Okay, I’m done griping. There’s still a Lot of trashy nonsense to contend with when it comes to MHA and I doubt that’s going to get much better. But the show manages to keep me coming back for more because of all the other stuff it has to offer. It can be So Bad sometimes but then most of the time it’s So Good. The true meaning of a problematic fav.
Tumblr media
I just...love these kids (sans mineta)...i love watching them interact...they deserve the world...and I can’t wait to see more of them as the season continues.
37 notes · View notes
ladytauria · 6 years
Text
First Meetings [1/?]
FFN | AO3
Summary: "Sounds to me like Chiro doesn't have a lotta friends. If I recall, they said that he keeps to himself. Doesn't sound like much of a life to me. I mean, if he's naturally introverted, then whatever." Otto swipes a hand through the air. "But I wanna make sure that he's not completely lonely. So… uh, can ya…?"
Jinmay laughs. "Of course, Otto. You don't even have to ask." She smiles at him. "You an' me… we'll be the best friends he's ever had.”
Otto beams.
Hi! I bring a new series, known as Carrington Industries. It's a Human AU that I'm having a lot of fun dabbling in, though not a lot has been written for it yet. It'll be kind of a post-as-I-write-it deal, so don't expect regular updates. (Sadly.) This first one deals with how everyone meets, and will probably be relatively short-but we'll see.
First Meetings
1. Otto Jinmay
"Just a few more adjustments…" Otto murmurs to the unresponsive android on his table. "And you'll be done."
The android is a round-face cherub of a girl; with soft pink hair pulled into white-tipped pigtails and long eyelashes brushing slightly flushed cheeks. A panel is open on her sternum, and Otto is wrist deep in circuitry, making a few fine-tunings before he could, at long last, awaken the creation he spent the last year on.
He wants to talk to her.
What would she be like? He left so many gaps in her personality programming, hoping to let her grow and develop on her own. He'd had to include a few things, of course—couldn't make her a completely blank slate, after all. But it had been just simple things. The basic rules of kindness, and compassion. A desire for friendship. And curiosity. Those things together would keep her, hopefully, from going rogue—and were good starting points for her to become.
Otto hums to himself.
The android had been built using parts recovered from Carrington Industries scrap heap. (The best find had been an android they'd thrown out. Poor thing had been an experimental prototype they'd made. It hadn't been able to differentiate friend from foe, or so the box it was in had said. Otto had salvaged quite a few parts from that, though he'd left the memory chip alone.) Jinmay, he calls her. A mash-up of Jenny and May, since he couldn't decide between the two.
He makes the final adjustment and carefully seals the panel. He pushes an arm under her shoulders and hefts her up. She's light, for a machine. He opens the panel in her back. He pushes the megawatt battery he'd salvaged from the faulty android into her back, and then flicks the switch. He seals the panel again, and carefully lays her down.
It will take some time for Jinmay's processors to finish booting up—initial start-up is always one of the hardest.
Booting.
Start up program: initialized.
Code rolls across her vision.
Uploading files.
Awareness. Her thoughts begin to come in words, instead of shaped in numbers and symbols. The numbers lurk at the edge of her awareness. She can feel them; making up the innermost parts of her consciousness. Her mind extends beyond its confines. She feels her fingers. Moves them experimentally. Wiggles her toes. Scrunches her nose.
Smells assault her senses. She searches her memory drives, and finds nothing to compare them to. She opens her eyes.
For a moment, all she can see was white. Her optics—her eyes—adjust to the brightness. Things take shape. The light fixture, capped in a circular dome. The square panels of the ceiling. She pushes herself into a sitting position.
"Hello, there."
She looks toward the voice.
A male. How many years has he seen? She has no comparison.
His skin is brown. His hair darker brown, and curled. His eyes are bright, vibrant green. He smiles at her; exposing shiny teeth. "My name is Otto," he says. "And your name is Jinmay."
Jinmay. She twirls the name through her thoughts, and decides she liked it.
"I built you. You're an android. You an' me? We're gonna be friends."
Jinmay—yes, yes, that's a good name—smiles. "I think I'd like that."
That was six years ago.
As Otto had promised, the two had become very good friends. Otto had been fourteen at the time—not part of any registered engineering group. His parents had taken his creation in stride; treating Jinmay just as they would any of Otto's other, human, friends. (Despite his personable attitude, Otto had few that he was close to.) It had been awkward, at first. Jinmay was… well. A robot. In every sense of the word.
But as time passed, she began to learn.
It began with clumsy emulation. Copying Otto's mannerisms, his speech patterns. He exposed her to television. Jinmay consumed all sorts of media. Horror. Comedy. Romance. Action. Adventure. Documentaries. Kids' films. News. Cooking. She watched them all raptly; sitting cross-legged with wide eyes. She developed preferences.
His mother liked plying her with new foods. Jinmay was the only person in the house she could rely on for accurate feedback. Her husband and son just smiled and told her it was good, even if it tasted terribly. Jinmay had no such qualms.
And then Otto began to take her out in public.
That was when everything changed.
Carrington Industries got word that a fifteen-year-old boy had managed to create a walking, talking android. Nothing like the droids they had built; this one had a tried and true personality. Their scientists and engineers went bonkers. They showed up at his home one afternoon with thousands of questions.
And then, they offered him a job.
They didn't ask him to recreate Jinmay. Which was good, because Otto wouldn't have done it. Jinmay was unique; one-of-a-kind.
Otto expected commissions. He got them, on occasion. But mostly? They paid him a stipend, which would contain bonuses when he brought them new inventions to sell. And Otto delivered.
Access to state of the art equipment; great minds; and almost limitless funding…
He flourished. By the age of 20, Otto was one of the richest inhabitants of Shuggazoom City…
Not that you would know that by looking at his apartment.
Jinmay cringes as she gingerly lifts a sock from the floor. "Otto."
"What?" Otto stumbles out of his room; hastily tugging a pair of pants over striped boxers.
"I told you to quit leaving your stinky socks all over the apartment!" she fumes.
"Oh, c'mon, Jin. They're not that bad," Otto says with a winning smile, taking the sock from her and lifting it to his nose. His eyes went cross-eyed. "Eugh. On second thought…"
Jinmay rolls her eyes. "At least you stopped leaving your underwear everywhere." She wrinkles her nose.
Otto laughs sheepishly, tossing the sock in the laundry room. "Heh, yeah..." He walks into the kitchen and grabs a cereal box. "Oh, hey. Somethin' I wanna talk to you about."
"What's up?" Jinmay seats herself on the counter and folds her hands primly in her lap. She watches him pour cereal in a bowl.
"You're familiar with Clayton Carrington, right?"
"Founder of Carrington Industries. One of the brightest and most brilliant men of our age. Had a silent partner no one's been able to uncover the identity of. Disappeared in mysterious circumstances, and was declared legally dead ten years ago—after he had been missing for nearly a year."
Otto sent her a smile, and retrieves the milk. He checks the expiration date, gives the milk an experimental sniff, and starts dumping it into the bowl. Jinmay makes a mental note to go grocery shopping tonight.
"Yep. In his will, though, he left the company to his nephew—Chiro Nieli. Split his fortune in half. Half went to the kid's parents—well, mother—and the other half into a trust that only Chiro can access, and even then, only once he was eighteen. The money in the trust has increments that are paid out. Enough to fund schooling at a very prestigious school."
"What's any of that got to do with anything?" Jinmay asks.
"Right. Well, Chiro's fifteen now, and the heads think it's time to start grooming him to take over the company. But, uh. The kid has pretty much lived in obscurity for most of his life, so he's unfamiliar with all of this. I volunteered to let 'im stay with us—because honestly can you imagine 'im staying with the others?" Otto scoffs. "And, uh, then the others were all like 'that's great, we were hoping you'd volunteer' and… well. See, part of the reason they hired me five years ago was because they had plans for you. Specifically… making you Chiro's super kick-butt bodyguard."
Jinmay raises her eyebrows. "That's why they insisted on all that combat training, and for you not to upgrade my appearance?"
"Yup." Otto popped the 'p'. "I told 'em I'd make sure you were cool with it before I went and did anything hasty. So, whaddya think?"
Jinmay considers. It doesn't take long. "I'm game."
Otto grins. "Thought ya would be. I gotta personal request to make though."
"Shoot."
"Sounds to me like Chiro doesn't have a lotta friends. If I recall, they said that he keeps to himself. Doesn't sound like much of a life to me. I mean, if he's naturally introverted, then whatever." Otto swipes a hand through the air. "But I wanna make sure that he's not completely lonely. So… uh, can ya…?"
Jinmay laughs. "Of course, Otto. You don't even have to ask." She smiles at him. "You an' me… we'll be the best friends he's ever had."
Otto beams.
5 notes · View notes
crasherfly · 4 years
Text
Been Around
I’ve been working on an iteration of this tumble for a while.
My last one? Well. It was kinda. Sad? 
Like, basically, oh hey I’m on the edge of ruin guess we’ll see what happens!
Obvs some time has passed since then. And like, I dunno, maybe people are wondering how things turned out?
So I’m here to talk about that. Oh, and yeah, talk about what I’ve been playing watching and listening to.
Question Corner time!!!
Um did you get fired or what?
Shockingly, no! I kept my job. In fact, kinda got a clean slate- new manager, a new schedule, the works.
What the fuck? How?
Right? 
Basically, I kept my mouth shut when I needed to and stuck to one un-sophisticated but outrageously stupid lie about why my “work” wasn’t showing up in the reports.
And the person in charge of calling me on that bullshit just...didn’t.
I don’t know if it was kindness, or laziness, or what, but they basically let me off with a firm warning to not let my abject neglect of my job be so obvious next time around. Around the same time as all this was going down, there was also a big shakeup in management, and I got shifted to a new guy. Along with that, I also got approved to reduce my work week. 
So my best guess is amidst all the change they decided to just give me a free pass, cuz firing a union employee in the time of covid would be...a lot of work.
Wow. Sick. So. New schedule?
Yup. My job is having a bit of a budget emergency so they have offered to let us take unpaid time off while retaining our benefits. I’m now working 30 hours a week until the end of the year. I’ll miss the money, but honestly? I’m fucking stoked. I straight up need to be at work less, and while it’s some shit that I have to take a paycut just to stay sane, you better believe I was ON THAT the minute I learned it was an option.
You didn’t get fired. You got a new sup, a new supervisor...so...are you gonna try in the future, to, like, not get in that position again?
Yeah. I’m very okay with not putting myself through any of this ever again. 
I’m actually putting in a full day’s honest work. Logging in on time. Staying awake the entire shift. Doing actual work. It’s wild. And exhausting. And repetitive. So...so...so...repetitive.
Actually working my job the way it’s written out on paper is awful and draining. My work is deeply uninteresting and utterly without consequence. I don’t have any actual metrics to work towards because of how the pandemic has impacted things. You’d think that would be good! But actually, it sucks real bad cuz my bosses basically just say “you have no metrics, but you should also be demonstrably productive” which basically means BUSY AS FUCK. So every day is an exercise in how I can convincingly spin my tires for 10 hours a day.
The tradeoff for making a clean go at this whole gainful employment thing is that, presumably, I can forgo the stress of like, you know, having my entire life and sense of financial security implode at a moments notice. I guess it’s a fair trade. 
Still, I’m so very, very tired.
So...how are you feeling about things?
Honestly...pretty okay? 
Look, you gotta understand that for the past month I was unraveling at the seams. Barely sleeping, drinking way too much, gaining weight back and making zero progress on my creative hobbies. So any improvement at all? In 2020? Feels like a fucking windfall to end all windfalls, even if the job is still shit and the paycut is a bit of a kick in the ass.
Cool cool. You uh...still doin...?
Therapy? I mean you can just say therapy.
Yeah, I’m doing it. Results seem...limited?
I found out my therapist is a anti-vax covid truther so...that’s been an experience. But when she isn’t going on about how big pharma is just mining us for cash money (not totally untrue), she’s...aight?
I dunno. I have to talk a lot. I don’t usually do that, ya know? And sometimes I finish my sentences and I’m like lol that’s literally all I got and then have to wait for a response. And the response is usually something weird like “WELL THAT’S GREAT”.
I guess I was expecting to hear some high concept shit about my brain? And instead...it’s mostly just been affirmations of just how damn functional I am! I’m so functional! Look at me, being functional like I’m all sorts of hot shit.
I thought you were gonna fire her-
Yeah, uh, look. I’m...very bad at confrontation. I’ll fire the truther therapist next week, I promise.
Whatever, so...what are you gonna do now that you only work 3 days a work?
Hopefully more of this! I miss writing for an audience. I miss sharing what excites me with other people! I’ve missed having an online presence. I live my life on the internet these days. Like, yesterday, I had this distinct feeling that I was SO ONLINE that I was like, basically, on the verge of full Matrix.  Like, between Spriteclub and Twitter and Youtube and my online games, just stick a fuckin’ needle in the back of my head and get it over with. I’m like fuckin’ Neuromancer over here, 3 monitors at once all day every day.
So...when do we talk about what you’ve been up to?
RIGHT NOW ASSHOLE! That’s right folks, let’s talk about what I’ve been gettin’ into during my free time. 
WRITING-
Alice and the Pale Horse
I’m on page 123. Working on some edits. Seriously looking at how I can release my first few pages in an episodic format.
My dream is to someday have an animator for this story. A guy can hope, yeah?
Crash’s Corner
I’m gearing up for another anime post. I’m hoping it’ll be a bit shorter and more focused. Major show candidates include Kaguya-Sama: Love is War, Gleipnir, and Deca-Dence.
Film Journal
I’ve been guest writing for Ryan Sanderson’s year-long film journal the past few weeks. The last entry was about the Alien franchise. Give it a look!
ANIME-
God of High School
Tumblr media
Man, this show is so damn lukewarm until it hits these wild action sequences that make your soul just fucking sing. The story feels like total nonsense, even for a shonen, but then you hit moments like this and it just doesn’t matter. It’s so imaginative it just absolutely soars. 
Gleipnir
Tumblr media
OH MY GOD GLEIPNIR. Look, I can’t recommend this show to you. It’s that batshit off the walls wild. But...if you can handle the absolute of anime bullshit- and if you’re an anime fan, you know what I mean- then you might be able to handle this. I just finished the first season this week and it grabbed me by the neck and didn’t let go. If it doesn’t get renewed, I’ll absolutely find the manga. But just. Like. Holy shit. Yeah. (I said Holy Shit probably at least 2 or 3 times per ep, so be warned).
Fire Force
Tumblr media
Honestly, season 2 has been a bit of a gas for me. It’s just lacked a certain juice that the first season had. Season 1 had so much wild worldbuilding going on, while season 2 seems to be all about tossing in as many tertiary characters as possible. Curious if the manga handles that better. As it stands, Fire Force still makes it onto my weekly rotation of anime I hit up while biking.
Deca-Dence
Tumblr media
I heard hype for this on Twitter, and based on the stills and the trailer, I was kinda so-so. But I jumped in and gave it a couple ep’s and honestly? It kept my attention. It even surprised me several times. It’s deeply imaginative in its own right, and presents a couple of animation styles that play directly into the lore of its world presentation. I’m not resonating with it on an emotional level in the same way as I am with say, Gleipnir, but this is still a really damn good show that I’d have no reservations about recommending to anyone.
A Certain Scientific Railgun T
Tumblr media
This one has me deeply conflicted. On the one hand, it is a gif generator, and I have a whole library of reaction gifs to show for it. The action is thrilling, the world gorgeous, the characters endearing and appropriately silly. But, like, also, it is the height of fan-service and there’s not much of a defense for it. So much so that I’ve only watched the first few episodes. I don’t know if I’ll keep on since the story hasn’t got its hooks in me yet. Reminds me a lot of Pandora in the Crimson Urn- deeply imaginative and funny but also full of yikes.
My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU
Tumblr media
I’m only a few ep’s into season 1 but I’m intrigued. It’s a rom-com/slice of life type anime, but it plays like a more straight-faced Kaguya-Sama: Love is War, but with the voice of the show centered around a deeply unlikable incel-type character surrounded by a terrifically enjoyable cast of fellow students who each bring their own quirks to the table. I’m interested to see how the plot continues to develop, as I’ve seen fans raving about the most recent season. However, this show has fallen to the wayside as I keep getting distracted by other anime. Kinda reminds me of Food Wars in the sense that I find its premise and characters compelling but also lose my focus on the story quickly.
Samurai Champloo
Tumblr media
Finally finished it! Loved it, for the most part. As a guy who has watched his fair share of classic sword films, I deeply appreciated how much reverence the animators and writers had for the genre, while also infusing their own modern sensibilities. It’s not hard to see what this sword story is so well loved, even if its overwrought ending doesn’t come close to touching the charm of its early charm and wanderlust. 
Kaguya-Sama: Love is War
Tumblr media
The best damn rom-com slice of life anime I’ve ever seen. Season 2 blew me away. I laughed. I cried. I enjoyed the new tertiary characters and was gratefully surprised by how easily the story was able to sustain the pace, brevity and sneaky depth of season 1. This show is special.
Dragon Ball
Tumblr media
I want to enjoy this, if only ‘cuz I want to understand the story that is considered so foundational to many other fans. And I LOVE the trademark animation, of course. But...also..there’s a whole lot of moments in this that are just uh...they require explaining in 2020. Maybe I just need to get over my scruples and power through, idk.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Tumblr media
My current shonen project. I’ve been stalled out on the timeskip arc for about...a year now? But I’m not willing to call it quits yet! I need to see this bonkers time-traveling mafia war through to its conclusion. 
Gintama
Tumblr media
I fucking adore Gintama. I love how it doesn’t give a fuck about skewering anime as a medium until it flips a switch and slaps you upside the head with some weirdly emotional and hopeful message. Every character is both hilarious and yet has this deeply emotional connection to the audience. It is perfect satire.
MANGA
Note: People often ask me where I get my manga. My answer can vary from title to title, but my usual go-to is Epilogue Books, owned and run by my dear friend and writing partner of many years. I have a semi-regular shipment of titles I receive from them depending on how quick I get through a given shipment. If you’re looking for these, or any other manga, give their site a gander or contact them directly. They’ll hook you up, and you’ll have the satisfaction of supporting literally anyone but Amazon.
One Piece
Tumblr media
I’m on volume 33 of the Skypiea arc, which has been so-so compared to the previous arcs with Crocodile and the adventures in the Deep Blue. I do find the Kami to be a curious and compelling villain, but none of the Straw Hats have done much in the way of growth beyond “get separated, fight jobber bosses, come back together and let Luffy finish the fight”. I’m toward the end of the arc, however, so we’ll see how it rolls.
Berserk
Tumblr media
Holy shit Berserk. A bunch of folks told me to read this when I asked for suggestions on twitter. I saw the cover art and was like “ok guy with big sword in a dark fantasy world, neat”. Wasn’t sure if it said more about the people who suggested it, or more about me that they thought I’d like it. I was also deeply nervous about dark fantasy after my fiasco with Goblin Slayer. But I went with it and gave the first volume a read and HOLY SMOKES. What a damn read. Not only does the story have me hooked, but also, it is GORGEOUS. It is dark. It is moody. It is occasionally humorous. But its STYLE just grabs me in a way that is reminiscent of the old Spawn comics from my youth. I immediately ordered more and I can’t wait.
Fairy Tail
Tumblr media
Just finished the lullaby arc and now we are deep into the Deliora arc with the Cold Emperor. It’s really been fun to see how the manga differs from the anime. The anime was my first true shonen experience and a story that I credit with having saved my life, so I had high expectations coming into this. I’m happy to say that thus far, the manga of Fairy Tail is worth every bit of attention that the anime received. Can’t wait to keep going.
Fruits Basket
Tumblr media
Fruits Basket is fucking precious and if you come at these characters I swear to god I will come back at you. *deep breath* Okay. Settle. This is a positively lovely story, centered in positivity, kindness, and found family. Each character is working through trauma in their own imperfect way, and I adore their journeys. You can tell the story was penned by a deeply vulnerable human and I can’t thank them enough for having the courage to share it. Read this manga- and then go see the equally gorgeous anime.
Eden’s Zero
Tumblr media
Written and drawn by the same crew who did Fairy Tail, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to call it Fairy Tail In Space. That said, volume 1 gave me just enough to get curious again about where Mashima is heading with his latest creative opus- and whether it will cross over with his wildly successful Fairy Tail universe. And yes, in case the above panel wasn’t enough of a cue- Mashima and co. can still play my heart for tears like no one’s business and it’s damn rude. 
 Sailor Moon
Tumblr media
I love the Sailor Moon anime. I think it’s an adorable show with deeply relatable characters that approaches the monster of the week format with an effectiveness that would make even Buffy the Vampire Slayer jealous. The manga is just as wonderful- not to mention beautifully drawn. Volume 1 also works much, much faster than the show does, and I dare say it is better for it.
VIDYA GAMES
Warzone
Tumblr media
I’m just seven levels out from completing my third battlepass straight. I’m going to try the Black Ops alpha this week. I’ve played Warzone a whole lot less lately, dedicating my evenings to reading manga, napping, or watching wrestling with pals instead, but it still remains my favorite shooter at this time.
Cities: Skylines
Tumblr media
I started a new city last week. It’s a shithole industrial city on a desert map. I had to set my sewer drainage in a manmade lake outside of town that quickly overflowed. At one point the sewage flood disabled my powerplants which in turn caused my entire town of 8k to flee. I went into 3 million in debt while waiting for the town to rebound. I came out of it eventually, repopulating the town to the tune of well over 11k, and restoring my budget surplus, but it was a huge fucking ordeal. I love this game.
Yakuza 0
Tumblr media
After chapter 1 of Yakuza 0 I was ready to write this game off. The camera angles pissed me off. The fight commands felt simplistic. The story was boring. But as I thought back to my experience of chapter 1, I realized that it more closely resembled some of my favorite action film sequences than I had initially realized. Did the button mashing make my wrists beg for mercy? Absolutely. Was it satisfying to overcome an absurd amount of enemies using little more than my x button and my wits? Also yes. And did those fights build on each other to create a sense of violent urgency as I propelled myself toward the “boss”? Definitely yes. And then you leave chapter 1 and get your run of a map that includes karaoke bars, Sega arcades and ramen shops- and yes, you better believe that I spent way too much time playing Sega’s Outrun. While jogging between shops and minigames random mobs of enemies pop up and try to start shit with you- much as they might in a JRPG. In fact, the game itself has a lot of RPG elements in it- stat boosts and inventory management and even a relationship meter. The more time I put in, the more the game opens up. I’m going to keep giving Yakuza 0 a shot for as long as that continues to be the case. Also, it is a perfect option to play as a streamed game on my phone.
Mario 64
Tumblr media
Can you believe I’ve never played Mario 64? Seems embarrassing to admit now. So here I am, many, many years late to the party. I’ll let y’all know how I like it. So far...I’m already lost on the first course, so...hopefully things pick up.
Sky
Tumblr media
Sky has been a bizarre experience. It’s the latest game from That Game Company, their previous work including Journey and Flower. Sky has that same aimless charm, but I also just can’t get into it to save my life. It’s free-to-play, but abstractly so- I’m not sure what the paid content even really does. I have a few friends on Sky- they typically have to drag me to the places they want to go. There’s nothing at stake in the world of sky- there are spirits you can free and content you can unlock, and occasionally you do encounter foes who pose a danger to you, but for the most part it’s basically a fetch quest with social elements added in. I appreciate those social experiences, and the community seems very chill, but it’s also a bit of a stress to log in and have everyone flock to you demanding your attention and time.  Also, this game is only playable on my mobile phone, which I am not used to gaming on, so...focus is limited. I mostly just vibe on the starter island and talk to acquaintances. 
Music
Powfu
DJ Blyatman
fawlin x Naits
Josh A
Tekken 7 OST
gothurted
Beast in Black
Battle Beast
Legos
Hey! I’m doing legos! That seems like a totally normal hobby to have at my age...yeah. Totally.
Anyway, I’m working on the Pirates of Barracuda Bay set. It’s about 3k pieces. It’s been a fun build so far! Here’s my progress...
Tumblr media
WRASTLIN
Tumblr media
Yes, I’m still watching wrestling. I usually get an episode or two in every week with my pals on discord. It’s not as many as I’d like to watch, but it’s for the best. If my viewing wasn’t forcibly tempered I’d have likely lost the past few months entirely to wrestling. And as you might have guessed from above, I’m someone who is happiest when their hobbies are varied and numerous. 
I’m in June of 1999 of the WWF storyline. Undertaker is the heavyweight champ, the Acolytes hold the tag belts, Jeff Jarrett has the intercontinental title belt and Owen Hart just died. King of the Ring is less than a week away. My friends and I have filled out brackets. I’m very excited to see who, if any of us, ends up being right about the winner. 
SPORTS???
I gave baseball the old college try. I ended up giving up. It just isn’t the escape I need. Something about those empty stadiums and players half-wearing masks and the shortened games just throws me off. I don’t feel at ease watching baseball in 2020. When I first got into baseball back in 2014 or so, it was because I was sick and baseball promised an illusion of normalcy- I could watch the rest of the world function in relative stability and hope that someday I too could join them. Now it’s the rest of the world that’s sick, and I’m relatively well, and all baseball can do for me in 2020 is remind me that I’m damn lucky I’m as well as I am, and that if I’m careless (or just plain unlucky) that I’ll be pretty sick to.
So where did I turn for competitive entertainment?
Well, there was wrestling, to be sure, but the real joy I’ve found is at SpriteClub.
Tumblr media
The quick pitch- people just like you or me create fighters in M.U.G.E.N., a 2-D fighting game engine. These fighters, or sprites, are guided by AI, also designed by people like you and I. Think of it like a gundam and its pilot. They’re tossed into a pool with a whole bunch of other community creations and left to duke it out while the viewers bet fake money on the winners.
You would think that the idea might only appeal to gambling junkies and fighting game addicts, but the truth is this eclectic channel has a much wider appeal than one might initially give it credit for. 
For one, its catalogue of fighters includes everything from pop culture superheroes to obscure anime characters to widely shared memes. It is almost impossible to not find a character you’ll have some sense of loyalty to.
Beyond that, the crowd that populates the chat is courteous, kind, and downright educational- a remarkable mix for anywhere gamers populate. It’s a relatively small community, so the channel takes the feeling of an intimate corner bar. If you enter the chat respecting the chill and willing to listen, you will learn a great deal not just about the fighters, but about how the genre of 2D fighter works as a whole.
Perhaps the most enjoyable part of SpriteClub is the exhibitions feature, which allows you to request custom matches with your favorite characters, which play out on the Twitch stream for others to view and bet on.  Although often chaotic, the exhibition mode is home to a number of long-running series set up my stream regulars. These series take on a life and lore of their own that is frankly fascinating. Think of it like a more frenetic video game karaoke. Yes, picking good fighters is a goal, but so is finding a good angle for the match- the right level of humor, the right pairing of unlikely characters, and set-up for matches that are competitive, as opposed to predictable stomps. 
I’ve never jumped into a Twitch channel as a regular before. I’ve never subbed to anything on Twitch before. The gamer community as a whole has always been one that’s left a bad taste in my mouth, rightfully so. But SpriteClub has been a lovely brightspot and proof that kind and informative gaming communities can and do continue to exist. I foresee myself being a regular viewer for some time to come.
And that’s it!
That’s pretty much everything I can think of sharing at this time! I hope y’all enjoyed it. As you can tell, I’ve done my best to keep busy. Hopefully I’ll have even more to share with you all in the immediate future. Until then, thanks for reading, and keep well!
0 notes
worldslyrics · 4 years
Link
Eye To Eye Lyrics-Example Lyrics, Example Sang this song Which is very lovely and attractive song. Eye To Eye Lyrics is Released on 2020. Eye To Eye Lyrics-Example Lyrics song is a great choice for you, If you want to be a singer then Sing this hot and lovely Eye To Eye Lyrics which is sang by your favorite singer Example. Eye To Eye Lyrics-Example Lyrics
Eye To Eye-Example lyrics
{Chorus: Violet Verigo} You and me don’t see eye to eye anymore You don’t even breathe, neither do I anymore, more Maybe you should leave to the night, ’cause I’m sure You and me don’t see eye to eye anymore, more
{Verse 1: Example} Some people to people, not seeing pupil to pupil Ain’t seeing iris to iris, they’re being futile and brutal Like Cyrus, the virus, a little chance they might shoot you So give ’em laser removal, the whole kit and kaboodle As I sit here with my pen and I doodle Thinking ’bout how all my friendship group quadrupled with rupels And tripled and doubled Then suddenly, I’m covered in rubble They were using me, their puppetry stumble Back in 2012, I probably had 2012 contacts Plus hundreds of contacts, lets start with the long facts My phone book was looking like the Yellow Pages I was spending much of life with so many strangers In one year, I probably had six Ranges And my dealer probably bought herself a few bracelets Went through sick changes, yeah, the shit’s crazy All because I fell in love with 36 chambers Who can blame us? Always tryna copy off inspector debt Now I sit inside my castle, inspecting the deck I got a sun deck, a pool deck, a food deck, who? That you, yeah? That little kid you bullied at school Always acted a fool and tried to be cool Deleted you on Facebook right as soon as I blew ‘Cause all the bullies try and fool you when they ask for favours But I’ll be in Ibiza with a couple ravers Girls, a couple flavours On some wrong behaviour ‘Til my missus landed on my lap, became my saviour Had a couple failures, married Miss Australia Fell and landed on my feet, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy, ayy
{Chorus: Violet Verigo} You and me don’t see eye to eye anymore You don’t even breathe, neither do I anymore, more Maybe you should leave to the night, ’cause I’m sure, sure You and me don’t see eye to eye anymore, more
{Verse 2: Doc Brown} Bruv, the journey is nuts 20 breh’s upstairs, rollin’ herb on the bus Rhymin’ cyphers with a lighter, we’re burnin’ it up ’05, slow grind, no one makin’ P Verse number 183 but where’s it taking me? Hard to show that you’re a leader when nobody sees ya’ Low exposure, overchievers, you know the procedure I go on believing, proverbial tree in The forest breaking down, did it make a sound? Never special-guested, always second-bested Mental health is tested Clinically depressive, gave myself the message If that’s what wrong with me, that’s tragic comedy Put it on stage, make it an economy I told the world I was a loser and they laughed Now my garden bigger than a fuckin’ park But I still think back to the start Those first flows when there weren’t jokes, I was dirt broke I knew Elliot in the days of Ready Brek and Teletext Never knew where we’d be shellin’ next Nowadays it’s a brave new environment Just for Example, I came out of retirement Netflix, Apple TV, BBC I don’t need to do this, I just love the music I just love the way the beat reacts when I abuse it I just love the way that you assume that I could lose it, foolish
{Chorus: Violet Verigo, Doc Brown} You and me don’t see eye to eye anymore (Stupid) You don’t even breathe, neither do I anymore, more (Go get ’em, Sway) Maybe you should leave to the night, ’cause I’m sure, sure You and me don’t see eye to eye anymore, more
{Verse 3: Sway} Listen, I’ve learned not to take anything personal With the industry for the stuck up squares, you gotta be versatile While they were cutting shapes, I was cutting tapes On the stage where before you went in, you had to circle ’round I heard their doubts but I won Left ’em behind on their bums Still shake it every time I rhyme, try to work it out And if you made it this far into the song then your attention span is long enough for me to make this worth the while Listen, anything we want in this life, we can achieve it (Real talk) It was the eye in my piano that helped me see this But soon as I had the key, I tried to tune in with my peers But because they had fears, they saw my drive and tried to key it Man, I’ve started from scratch so many times Lost a couple of notes and I’ve scrapped so many lines Took it back to Africa when I scrap so many lions That slap me fast, and so hard that they scrapped Simba and {?} Why on earth would you say this when you got four kids? This is science See the kids that want Disney don’t know who Walt is Created a scene without creating a scene, there’s a science I’m not asking for roses, they erode quick First single at 19, had the rap game Covid since ’06 When there were no TikToks to blow quick I’ve been a G before IG, live streams and 5G Ask poisonous poets, I’ve got the cure for anyone home sick Fresh outta lockdown and I’ve been on my Doc’s Brown I lead by Example, there ain’t a door I couldn’t knock down I’m buildin’ an empire, makin’ use of all of these blocks now And I don’t accept cookies, they give me crumbs, I click to opt out So whenever you see this list about who isn’t and who is in the top ten lyricists of Great Britain, you should please remember this Some of the people that create ’em are some of the people that I’ve dissed By not submitting into their system but I’ma teach them Class dismissed, Sway
Eye To Eye Lyrics-Example Lyrics
Artist: Example Released: 2020
Sing More Song
Need To Know Lyrics-Example Lyrics
Ain’t One Thing Lyrics-Example Lyrics
Some Nights Last for Days Lyrics-Example Lyrics
Trippin In The Sky Lyrics-Example Lyrics
Oscar Lyrics-Example Lyrics
#worldslyrics #lyrics #songlyrics #latestlyrics #newlyrics
0 notes
jasonmelton · 6 years
Text
MON MAR 12TH - GOD NEVER SAYS HE’S SORRY!
HEY BUD
Hope you have a healthy heart and throat, and you shit good. Life ain’t all bad. God gifted us the ability to pretend. I wonder if God ever apologizes--doubt it. Still, after some people’s lives wrap up, you have to wonder. He’s like “Yeah, sorry I created you with all your fingers glued together like a fin. Thought it’d help ya swim. Didn’t realize computers were getting so big. Yeah, typing has gotta be tough. Sorry bitch.” He still throws in a ‘bitch’. God is a pimp. Went to a wedding: a Jewish fella marrying a “shiksa.” I learned this word at the wedding. A “Shiksa,” according to my understanding, is a ‘non-lizard female.’ Fascinating. With Jew and gentile, the lady kept saying everything in Hebrew and then explaining it. Felt like: oh great, this is boring twice.
LIVE SHOWS (CHICAGO, IL)
 3/13 Shoe’s Pub. Chicago, IL 8:30
3/15 High Dive. Chicago, IL 8 pm
3/16 Killing Your Darlings at the Den Theatre Chicago, IL
3/22 High Dive. Chicago, IL 8 pm
 CHECK IT OUT
Buy tickets to see Killing Your Darlings!! ($10 online / $12 at door)
Beer Belly Open Mic is back!! At North Bar, Thursdays at 11 pm
High Dive Comedy is every Thursday at 8pm. Newsletter subscribers get a free drink. Hit me up if you’re coming!!
Cocaine Murder Jam twitter is on a tear. Check it out!
 READER SURVEY (HIT REPLY)
How much do you love God on a scale of 1-10?
Ever go to a wedding? (Y or N)
READER RESPONSE
Very few people responded to my previous newsletter which truly makes me sad. My friend David suggested I call the newsletter “Jason Melton Might Die This Week.” What do you think?
 PS BONUS
Someone posted this clip online, and I thought it was really funny.
 TWITTER:
Follow Cocaine Murder Jam / Follow Me
 EMAIL ME BACK:
ARCHIVE
0 notes
comiconverse · 7 years
Text
Khary Payton: Reigning Supreme On The Walking Dead
Khary Payton, star in the AMC hit TV series The Walking Dead (TWD) took time out his busy schedule to chat during Fan Fest Chicago 2017. With a background in comedy, theater, voice over and acting…. Mr. Payton was made for show business. Currently best known for his role as King Ezekiel on TWD and as voice over for Cyborg on Teen Titans, Khary Payton has an extensive list of credits to his name.
Khary Payton: Reigning Supreme On The Walking Dead
Mr. Payton’s passion for his career shines brightly. One need only spend a few moments with him to see how he embraces life, his family, and his fans with endless love and exuberance. I was thrilled to be given the opportunity to delve into his world. Khary Payton is a beacon of positivity in a too often distraught world. His joy is contagious.
Khary Payton has an extensive resume… behind the mic and on screen. Credit: saltcitycon.com
Living Life, Loving Laughs
Linda: What got you started in the industry? Did you always see yourself working in show business?
Khary: Yeah, Yeah. When I was 8 or 9 years old I started ya know dabbling in this. I won a nationwide talent contest when I was 11 or 12 and after that I started doing a little standup comedy when I was in high school. I did little theater things. Then I decided that comedians are incredibly depressing people.
Linda: [laughs] Why do you say that?
Khary: They are! They are! It is a tough life to be on the road as a comedian. It’s lonely and its, these poor guys… I was 16 years old, I was enjoying just the process and enjoying how talented they all were. Some of my favorites were just so depressed because their friends had gotten famous and they were still not famous. You know, I’m sitting at the bar at 11:30 waiting to go up and they’re all commiserating with their alcohol and I’m havin’ a coke and really happy to be there. So I was like ya know, I think I’m gonna go to college, these guys are a little much for me.
Khary Payton enjoying time with his fans at Fan Fest Chicago 2017. Credit: Linda Marie
Khary Payton Making His mark
Linda: A little too intense?
Khary: Yeah. Well one guy (who I really loved) after I did a pretty good set… he said, “So kid, you gonna take me with you when you’re famous?” I was just laughing, I was like yeah sure, whatever. He said, “Yeah, that’s what Chris Rock said.” Then he kinda stormed off. I was like, what’s going on, I wanna go home [laughs]. So, I opted for college. I did a lot of theater and after college I did a lot of Shakespeare, I did a lot of experimental theater and then I moved to LA when I was 28.
Khary Payton receives a gift from a young Cyborg fan. Credit: Linda Marie
I was doing little films and little guest star parts on TV, commercials and stumbled into a little cartoon audition that a friend of mine got for me and I happened to book it. That was for Cyborg [character on] Teen Titans. I’ve been doing that for 15 years and if I hadn’t gotten that part, I’d still be wondering how to get into voice over. But it’s been really great for me and during that time I did nine pilots that failed at one point or another. So after 22 years, I got an audition for The Walking Dead. I met that casting director, Sharon Bialy, 15 years before and I worked for her a couple of times but she always brought me in. So I was really lucky to meet people who remember that you always come prepared and ready to do your thing. I’ve been doing pretty well, taking care of me and mine and after 22 years, you get the best job ever.
Khary Payton takes part in The Walking Dead Church and State panel at Fan Fest Chicago 2017. Credit: Linda Marie
Linda: Sitting here listening to you talk, you already answered several of my questions [laughs].
Khary: People always want to know how you got started and how did you get this part and this audition. It’s always that the real story is a lot longer than well, I got a call to audition and I went over the script. This part is [The Walking Dead’s King Ezekiel]… I’ve been oddly training for it for my entire career with all the theater that I did. Kind of royal exuberance that he’s got and with the voice over it kind of lends itself to the character.
Incredible King Ezekiel artwork given to Khary Payton at Fan Fest Chicago 2017. Credit: Linda Marie
Regal Encounters
Linda: I can see that for sure, there definitely is a presence. And, I gotta ask you… How do feel with being called ‘your majesty’ [laughs]? Do you get joked with about that?
Khary: I do. I do. It’s weird but, people have fun with it. I was at Disneyland a couple of days ago with my girls at spring break and we were at the Star Wars ride and as we were leaving, the guy that had let us in said “Thanks for coming Your Majesty.”
Linda: [laughs] How did you react to that?
Khary: You know, what can say… It was nice to know, it was a nice understated way for him to ya know say that e watches the show, he likes the show. Cause he’s working so he doesn’t have time to stop and ask to take a picture. So I guess it’s a quick way for people to acknowledge that they know who you are.
Khary Payton poses with his Walking Dead family. Credit: Twitter – @kharypayton
Finding Family
Linda: That’s a good point. How is working with the rest of the cast? Do you guys have fun, play around a little bit?
Khary: I love them all. I work mostly with Lennie James and Melissa McBride. I really love those guys. My Kingdom people, I lost a couple already and Karl [Makinen] and Logan [Miller] who play Richard and Benjamin respectively…. I miss those guys already. Karl owns a restaurant in Los Angeles so I was there just a couple days ago but it still, I just hate that fact that we’re not gonna be doing this together. We were all brought in at the same time ya know, it was kind of like… this was our family that we brought in to the show but I know I’m gonna start getting to know Andy Lincoln and Lauren [Cohan] and Denai [Gurira] and all of these guys who have been on the show for so long.
Linda: If there is one thing I’ve learned from going to these conventions, especially the Walker Stalker, is what a tight knit family you all are. When the fans see you guys come together…. they just go crazy. They just love that.
Khary: It’s an ensemble show. It’s sticky and it’s hot and it kinda bonds you. First of all, we love the story that we’re telling and when you’re in those uncomfortable situations, I say uncomfortable but it’s still the best job ever, but it bonds you together. You’re kinda suffering, you gotta run through the walkers over and over again and it pulls you together in a weird way.
Khary Payton on set of The Walking Dead. Credit: amcnetworks.com
Good To Be The King
Linda: I’d like to talk specifically about [your character] King Ezekiel for a second. What do you feel are his best traits? What weaknesses do see in him? If you could change him, would you change anything?
Khary: I dunno if I’d change Ezekiel. I think we’ve all got our faults. I think that maybe as a leader he maybe swings one way and if something goes wrong, he overcompensate a little bit. Like he lost people before and so now with the Saviors he’s trying so hard to keep everybody safe and maybe he gave the Saviors a little too much leeway because of that. I think a good leader learns from his mistakes… and that’s what he’s trying to do. Honestly for the most part he had kept his crew safe from the Saviors.
Although you can stick pins in any leadership trait, I think he’s doing pretty good. You kind of think of him as this guy who’s not really a leader because he used to be a zoo keeper but I think that he’s played his role just about as well as anybody on the show has. He’s taken really good care of a large community and they’ve been thriving. I know people are upset that it took him a while to get going but the truth is he just met Rick and his gang, he’s gotta know if they’re on the right side of all of this. I think he’s finding his way. It’s all coming to head.
Khary Payton engages his fans at Fan Fest Chicago 2017. Credit: Linda Marie
Costume Conundrums
Linda: It certainly is. I’m all caught up and there’s just a couple of episodes remaining. Before I let you go though, I promised a few fans I would ask a question that kept popping up… Is the wig hot?
Khary: The wig is not that bad. Everybody thinks the wig’s hot. It’s the clothes that are hot. It’s weighty and it’s weird ya know foam leather, neoprene with the fur and all of this. I wanna kill Robert Kirkman [laughs].
Linda: [laughs] Can you make this lighter?
Khary: Well that’s the thing. When they made this character, they knew we were shooting the show in Atlanta. In the summertime. They don’t have any lycra?
Khary Payton does voice over for Aqualad in Young Justice. Credit: shmoesknow.com
Coming Up For Khary Payton
Linda: Right?! I don’t wanna take up too much of your time. So I will end by asking if you have anything new coming up? Anything you want to talk about?
Khary: Yeah, yeah. There is season 3 of Young Justice, a cartoon that I did that was canceled but because it got a really popular following on Netflix, we’re coming back for a third season and more seasons I imagine. I love that show so I’m really excited about that coming back. Big Hero Six is coming on Disney XD I believe in a few months. And of course more Teen Titans, more Justice League action, more Lion Guard. I like to keep the kids entertained until they’re old enough to watch zombies get killed.
I would like to thank Mr. Payton for taking the time out of his busy schedule to chat with me. I would also like to thank the hardworking management, staff, and volunteers for all they do to keep Fan Fest running smoothly. Great job as always! Be sure to follow Khary on social media… Instagram: @kharypayton Twitter: @kharypayton .
King Ezekiel and Shiva join the fight in The Walking Dead season finale.
Note: This interview took place prior to The Walking Dead’s season 7 finale. After having now seen that episode I would like to add… “Way to go Your Majesty!”
Keeping You Comic Con-nected!
Linda Marie
Twitter: @LindaMw87 Instagram: comic_con_crazy Cosmunity: ComicConCrazy
The post Khary Payton: Reigning Supreme On The Walking Dead appeared first on ComiConverse.
0 notes