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laniemae · 11 days

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Wow… I can’t believe it’s been a full year since I first watched Milgram. (Yes, I do in fact celebrate anniversaries of when I first get into something) so just wanna recap my experience watching it and how this became an obsession.

[WARNING THIS IS A VERY LONG RAMBLE]

It all began almost exactly 1 year ago where basically me and my friend were talking random shit and she bought up milgram. I had never heard of it before, hearing it I was absolutely enthralled with the concept of CHARACTERS and SYMBOLISM and TRIALS and MORALITY and GENERAL DANGANRONPA ESQ VIBES. So basically this was right up my alley and I knew I was going to watch it as soon as I could.

I was already super obsessed with Mcki-RobynsP’s danganronpa fan songs and me and my friend loved analysing them so seeing a whole music project with a very similar concept blew me away. (Didn’t know where to put this so here’s an edit I made immediately after watching the music trailer, which is a historical artifact to my life back then)

We watched some MVs such as undercover, and a bit of throw down because I was really interested in flower symbolism and freaked out because of that. And I was also told about the whole Mikoto tiktok incident and showed me MeMe which I started laughing thinking about it. And how lots of the characters names are similar to danganronpa characters names (Mahiru shiina = Mahiru koizumi, Kotoko yuzuriha = Kotoko utsugi, Mikoto kayano = Makoto naegi) took me a bit too long to realise mikoto was spelled with an I and I still get confused.

Friend also bought up how one of the characters is a liar and how essentially his entire MV was on a stage and he was wearing masks and stuff, and Kokichi being probably one of my favourite characters of all time I was especially captivated as there was a character like him. Funnily enough kazui was nothing I expected him to be. And while looking at some of the characters I remember seeing t2 Amane and thinking “she looks like mikako (from DRA)” and looking back it this it’s interesting how that was my first impression of her.

Apparently when I was being told all this stuff the idea of it being on the internet completely flew over my head when I thought it was essentially created by the fans like SCP, despite how contradictory that was and wouldn’t make any sense, I think my brain was fucked or something. And I compared it to Splatoon and with voting stuff which can change the course of the series of events and everything.

I did go into it being partially spoiled for a few things such as Amane’s cult, Yuno’s abortion, Mikoto’s DID. But even so it didn’t ruin my enjoyment and it was still amazingly fun to watch and I binged trial 1 in a day, then a few days later watched trial 2, right before Mahiru’s MV came out.

My first impressions on the characters, I can’t exactly remember but I remember seeing Mahiru and thinking I’d hate her for all her talk about love and that she’s just a yandere. Only for TIHTBILWY to blow me away and I immediately noticed with the lines

“Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual, Is because I love you”

How much more nuanced her character was and definitely picked up on the whole BPD coding which definitely changed my perspective on her so quickly.

Again I was in my danganronpa another phase when I was watching milgram so when I first saw Fuuta and his rants about justice I was like “is he gonna be like Tsurugi” only for… Kotoko to happen which I thought was funny. I also originally thought that Fuuta was in a gang or something and he was their leader and was beating up someone and he told the others to stop but they didn’t and the person died.

I already knew about Amane’s cult because my friend had told me and I definitely picked up on it with the whole “tough love” thing and childish depiction of abuse to the extent that it was normalised. And when the entire atmosphere changed where the instruments became organs and bells that was the spark where I knew she was going to be my favourite character, and she has been ever since. And even so the whole vibe of Magic and the song definitely stuck out to me more compared to everyone else.

Other thoughts on characters were that I had absolutely no clue what Shidou had done and was freaking out, the only thing I had to go off of was a doctor. And I was so interested in that final scene of undercover where it’s the silhouettes of the characters killing Es in the way the killed their victims. And trying to figure out who was who (yuno, fuuta and kotoko were easy to find but it took me a while to figure out the others) and I looked at the one silhouette who was on top of es and beating them with some sort of pipe and thought “wow this is incredibly violent I wonder who this is” and when I learned it was amane I freaked out but at the same time it made me love her even more because go murder girl go.

I also remember some minor experiences I had with milgram before getting into it, such as seeing the thumbnails for after pain and meme on my recommended but didn’t watch them. And one of my OCs is called Haruka and I looked up the same because I was confused wether it was a girls name or a gender neutral same and saw Haruka sakurai and simply thought “why is this guy in a straitjacket”. And Weeby Newz’ video on it which I didn’t watch but definitely saw the thumbnail for it multiple times.

And then when I watched trial 2, I had already partially known that Amane was guilty and freaked out about it, but for whatever reason when I heard the reasoning behind it I understood (but when thinking about it after a while I realised that that was stupid). And seeing a better look at her sprite I could not get over how messed up she was from her happy disposition in trial 1 and aighhh. I actually made a meme of it. (I think I also drew it but it was lost in The Great Storage Purge)

It was also shocking to me seeing how it was kotoko who attacked the guilty prisoners and their injuries were not a result of being physically tortured and such. And also k couldn’t get out of my head that Fuuta with the eyepatch looked EXACTLY like xander from DRDT. And again I was also losing it at the visual of Amane and how it was talked about how hostile she has become. And partially disappointed by the confirmation mikoto had DID which I didn’t believe from meme and thought it was gonna be another dumb stereotype, but after a while looking at the lyrics for the double promo I started to suspect it wasn’t that and especially with what others were saying.

When it came to the trial 2 MVs, I was completely taken off guard by the vampire refrence in tear drop and at that point I didn’t even know they covered vocaloid songs. And seeing backdraft with its graffiti symbolism hugely reminded me of my OC Kayo who I have talked about here before. And with Muu I heard people talking a lot about INMF on after pain and knew it was going to be crazy when I watched it. And especially with the way more unforgivable light muu is portrayed in, the whole crazy face after murdering Rei and the bugsona along with the music made this one of my favourite songs instantly.

And here I was first watching milgram only days before I love you and oh boy was it an interesting premiere. And I vividly remembering looking at the premiere like 20 minutes before it started and saw people talking about fucking Shidou mpreg and just left until 5 minutes remained and it’s hilarious looking back at how that was one of my first experiences with the milgram fandom. Oh boy the milgram yt live chat you’re certainly a jungle.

I also remember seeing people spamming MAPPI INNO which I knew was some inside fandom joke which I had no clue what it meant so of course I gave into conformity and started saying it as well. In which I noticed inno meant innocent but it took me a long time to realise where mappi came from. I was shocked to see how dark of a tone the mv had compared to TIHTBILWY and the music as well and how it kept switching tones.

I was originally confused to what she had done and wether to forgive her or not because I interpreted the rat cake scene as she killed her bf to make him obedient. And I proceeded to yap about theories on my gc with my friend only for my other friend to get extremely confused who I ended up converting into a milgrammie.

——

So yeah that’s how my extreme obsession with Milgram started, a hyperfixiation which has now lasted a year straight with no signs of it stopping soon. I guess Milgram is everything I wanted in fiction and especially at the right time where I was really into danganronpa fan songs. And themes of psychology, moral philosophy, symbolism, music, murder it’s essentially like it was made for me. And how something as specific as singing murderers captivated me so much that it feels like I cannot grasp how I was before watching it. And especially with how I now have two blorbos (Amane & John) which is rare for me and especially with milgram I can easily talk about any character as they’re all so interesting to me compared to other pieces of media where it’s only a select few characters.

I vividly remember thinking “I can’t believe it’s been a week since I first watched milgram” to “I can’t believe it’s been a year since I first watched milgram” and it feels so short yet such a long time. So consider this ramble of mine a love letter to the series.

#milgram #Man I don’t think I’ve ever been so hyped about a series to celebrate the anniversary of when i first watched it with something like this #I joined milgramblr in early august as I had a tumblr and figured why not join the fandom and stuff #Probably my fondest memory I’ve had from the series so far was the premiere for purge march #Essentially it was premiering on the same day I was at a camp so it was at night in the middle of a forest on almost a mountain #Me huddled up in my tent on my phone watching my most anticipated trial 2 mv of my favourite character #And absolutely going ballistic with everything that happened and was revealed it was truly so memorable and amazing #Also as well as that when deep cover premiered only a few days after my birthday #And me and my friends were all together screaming about it and going nuts #Also I forgot to mention this but as well as everything was so bewildered by the whole aesthetic of milgram and everything #Like it was essentially my dream aesthetic/vibe and what I was trying to capture with my concepts for perfect atrophy for so long #I could go on and on about the aesthetic of milgram as it’s so captivating and it definitely reminds me of the whole danganronpa style #And just everything about it is so so good I can’t express how much I love milgram #Especially with the more and more esoteric words I’ve been using for amazing

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