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charcubed · 2 years

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I keep seeing posts that are like "interpretations of bi!Dean and gay!Dean are equally valid!" and I used to be like, sure, straight!Dean is definitely wrong but beyond that, see him how you want, who cares.

But now (esp after the Last Call script) I just don't understand the gay!Dean truthers? I follow quite a few on sm, and when I initially followed them I was like "they accept Dean is queer, that's good enough for me." But now they're really starting to get to me and it's not really worth arguing about to them, but I wanted to rant to you about it, cuz you get it.

The script literally included "gorgeous women" in the bar. Dean has canonically been sexually AND romantically attracted to women. He's based off THEE bisexual Neal Cassady.

Like I'm not really trying to defend m/w relationships (lol) but why do even queer ppl insist on erasing his identity when it's so clear? Why do they have to take that away?

Gay!Dean in AUs is one thing, but in the actual, textual canon of the show, Dean is bi. And no, gay!Dean and bi!Dean are NOT equally valid interpretations. And I don't think I'm an asshole for saying that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry it took a few days to get to this. Work and life have kept me busy and tired!

Unironically and non-sarcastically, Anon, I'm glad you've seen the light and seem to understand this topic more now. You are, of course, entirely correct. And you're not an asshole for saying it either.

I'm going to take this opportunity to answer your (potentially rhetorical) questions, and also bounce off of you and lay some stuff out about this topic in general at length for the first time–despite the fact that it may turn me into public enemy #1 again. I am already hated for non-combatively voicing these facts on Twitter (this thread tends to be considered one of the "ground zeroes" of the nonexistent "debate" lol), but I have avoided being dog-piled on Tumblr so far, so... fingers crossed I can miraculously keep it that way!

My hope is that anyone who is predisposed to taking this topic very personally just moves on instead of attacking me (or subposting me?) for any of what I'm about to say. I'm also not forcing anyone to read this, before anyone's like "that's way too many words" or "it's not that serious lol."

I do think this topic is important. I've made the decision to publicly spell out why. And if anyone doesn't want to read it, that's their prerogative.

To your questions, Anon:

I think a lot of this comes down to a fandom-wide problem (all fandoms recently, not just SPN) of not understanding the difference between headcanon and canon, the dimensions as to why that distinction does have its uses and its necessity, and the value in both. I'll get into this later.

But in this fandom specifically, based on observation and lengthy conversations I've had with a dozen long-time fans who are my friends... I personally think it's maybe a new dimension of viewpoint that's branched out from a holdover of "all interpretations are valid" being the party line people have clung to a very long time. (That’s also true in other fandoms, but I think it’s especially true here.) It's a form of solace people don't want to deviate from. No one wants to be seen as or feel like the ~jerk~ who's ~invalidating another person's view of canon~ in response to someone else's knee-jerk reaction of hurt. This is a fandom with early-2000s cultural baggage and context, where people dealt with feeling like the "crazy fangirls" who shipped Destiel and dared to call out queer subtext. Misha's "You're not crazy" tweet exists for a reason. I do feel like a lot of well-meaning people–aside from misunderstanding or being ignorant to the analytical roots of this topic and why they absolutely matter–just know what it feels like to have their thoughts on queer content in a show feel "invalidated," and they don't want to be perceived as doing that to other people. And/or: they’ve felt invalidated before (in this fandom or others!), and so they’re hypersensitive to anything they perceive as doing that to them again, especially if they tied personal identity into the projections they’re making onto the media they enjoy.

I understand that people don’t want to seem ~mean~ or make waves. I also don't want to seem mean or be mean, which is why I try to be as clear as possible whenever I talk about this and I never go after people directly (or interact/reference any of the many subtweets from people who openly talk shit about me. haha). But the facts shouldn't be seen as "mean"; they are simply facts. And yes, they absolutely matter.

Because the thing is... none of the above has any bearing on the nuances of the topic at hand, the indisputable fact that Dean is bisexual in canon and that claiming otherwise is erasure, and the truth that none of this should be seen as a threat to people's headcanons.

These are all things that people should understand, and I will not apologize for knowing that and saying it. Misunderstanding this–making the false claim that “all interpretations of Dean’s sexually are equally valid as long as you see him as queer”–is an act of bisexual erasure in this context, and it often (unintentionally!) plays into biphobic talking points. And yeah, in my opinion, that’s something people should care about because it’s worthy of both personal and fandom examination. It is, in fact, why “representation” matters at all.

Let’s not kid ourselves: the bulk of this fandom-wide discourse is about Bi Dean vs Gay Dean. So, y’know, that’s the bulk of how I’m going to address it to just get it all out there.

Right out the gate, let me clarify this: I am not saying–now or ever–that those who are self-proclaimed “Gay Dean truthers” or argue that “Dean being gay in canon is a valid interpretation” are deliberately coming from a place of malice and the intent to contribute to bisexual erasure. By all means, I’m sure most aren’t! Nonetheless, intent does not equal impact. I’ve even seen people say “I’m a Gay Dean truther and I’m bisexual, so how could I possibly be contributing to bi erasure by arguing for Gay Dean?” But in this situation–as in any other–no one is immune from unwittingly perpetuating harm, even including bi people. And it’s important to understand why that is.

“Interpretations” are not opinions, not all are equal, and they do require some level of skill. This is not a personal attack, or a moral judgement on anyone, or somehow a threat to people’s enjoyment of a favorite character. It is just fact.

Gay Dean is not a valid possibility in canon. There is no lens that justifies an argument of it with canonical basis. I have to break down why, in order to sufficiently express why claiming otherwise is a harmful position to take, so bear with me.

(No, this is not an invitation for a Gay Dean truther to treat this like a “debate” with me or waste time writing out a counterargument. Please just exit the tab if you’re somehow here battling that urge.)

For someone to say that Dean is gay in canon, here is an incomplete list of what has to be erased, ignored, or explained away:

• His sexual attraction to, romantic love for, and relationship with Cassie.

• His sexual attraction to, romantic love for, and relationship with Lisa (whether or not one thinks she was ever the ~ultimate love of his life~, attraction and love were present.)

• His stash of and enjoyment of porn that includes women, which is referenced many times.

• The moments where he was seduced by a female-presenting monster.

• Each and every time he made a reference to or joke about his attraction to women.

• Any fling he ever had with a woman on screen, and the enjoyment he had in the process.

The man is canonically sexually and romantically attracted to women, and he has acted upon that and even enjoys that about himself in wildly diverse contexts. It is a blatant part of the text of the show. (The fact that we are at the point where this is somehow a main point of contention rather than his attraction to men does make me feel a tiny bit insane, to be honest.)

Now, in my experience (which I don’t claim is comprehensive!), the people who argue for Gay Dean tend to explain ALL of this away under some form of universal umbrella of Dean being “performative,” a variation on compulsive heterosexuality they ascribe to him. The claim or explanation tends to be that Dean was performing a mostly-faked attraction to women based on his father’s expectations and outward pressures he received in the culture of his life. Moments are often cherry-picked out of context to support this “reading.”

Who is Dean supposedly performing FOR, even in the moments where he acts on his attraction to women when he is alone? How does this explain his significant relationships with women like Cassie and/or the legitimate visible enjoyments he received from those interactions, as well as his flings with women throughout the show? How does this explain things like the Last Call script, where Dean is very clearly written as attracted to “gorgeous women,” a factoid that is not only very clear on screen but also (of course) written in literal black and white?

(There are no sufficient answers to these rhetorical questions. Once again: please do not waste time trying to give me any.)

And what evidence are Gay Dean people using for comphet or performative Dean? The “evidence” is often a misread of canon, pointing towards the consistent theme and false goal presented in the text of the show of characters’ efforts to strive for an “apple pie life,” aka a heteronormative ideal family. Gay Dean people misrepresent what this theme and through-line in the show is actually about, which is the totality of learning to accept your life rather than striving for something ill-fitting, that what you need and want need not be mutually exclusive (family life including fulfilling romance + hunting life can coexist), family is what you make of it and how you define it, and there are no true limitations on what all of this “should” be. While these themes are inherently queer, they are not about narrow performances of masculinity, femininity, or sexual identity, but about making space for ALL forms of all of the above–AND about identifying what it is that one wants and thinks they can’t have.

Namely, for Dean, that’s a version of settling down in a life that fulfills him in every direction, with an open and honest mutual relationship with the person he is in love with. This latter point would be true whether Cas was a man or a woman (though the fact that he is a man of course adds further dimension of interest to the story). Dean doesn’t think he can have a romantic relationship / family that lasts, and by later seasons that yearning is a key part of his character. The times it didn’t work out for him weren’t because those other people were women, but rather because the “lesson” he internalized from traumatic instances of loss is that hunters don’t get to do ~the love thing~ or get the settled down life. This is stated in the text of the show multiple times, and that’s also why Dean seeing examples of hunters who made any kind of balanced life work (especially masculine queer hunters like Jesse and Cesar) is pointed and purposeful. To say it’s about comphet instead (with no sufficient canon evidence that supports that) disregards a key point that’s central to Supernatural’s story, and in my opinion it disregards it to its detriment.

For Dean’s journey in particular, it is about freedom from limitations of structure, and knowing that he contains multitudes. The things he got from John–loving classic rock and loving his car, for example–are no less core joyful parts of Dean simply because they originated from his father. Dean can love classic rock and still occasionally love a Taylor Swift song, for example. He can love cowboy movies and manly movies, and also enjoy chick-flicks. It’s the idea of learning that there are no limitations, not that masculine interests are not inherently something he loves for himself or that aren’t important parts of his identity. It’s an expansion to openly include more, not a switch or a narrowing. The same applies to his sexual attraction and his queer identity. He can be attracted to cowboys and bikers, and also be attracted to gorgeous women. Him being attracted to / loving women does not mean he cannot and does not feel attraction and love for men; likewise, him being in love with a man does not mean he wasn’t and isn’t attracted to women.

(“Last Call,” as an episode, exists in part to drive the totality of these points home, and emphasize that Dean’s attraction to men is something he’s known about himself for most of his life and acted on previously. So is most of the queercoding and queer subtext applied to Dean–which is specifically coding him as bisexual. His attraction to men is sometimes established or made clear because it echoes his attraction to women, etc. etc. Dean’s canonical attraction to men is a whole other post.)

So here we come to why saying otherwise and trying to shoehorn a comphet narrative onto Dean in canon is harmful:

Aside from the fact that to claim Dean’s joyful attraction to women is performative is to cut out chunks of the story and is thus not supported by canon, and it relies on making assumptions about and projecting onto the text… unintentionally or not, the implication is that bisexuality is not queer enough, or that being gay is somehow “queerer” and thus more compelling and a preferred concept, and that attraction to different genders is a heterosexual / straight trait requiring removal. No one is queering a text in a more revolutionary way or unlocking a ~secret good Supernatural~ by making a bisexual man into a gay man. That’s simply not how this works.

“Preferring” an argument for Gay Dean in canon requires explaining away or misreading all of those moments Dean has with women, essentially replacing them with trauma or suffering or discomfort that–in my observations–also sometimes rely on stereotypes of gay men. It also involves potentially preferring to twist them into behaviors Dean must have universally put himself through not out of genuine joyful desire but at minimum because he felt like he “should” or at maximum in an attempt to “fix” his “gayness,” even when no one was watching. And it points to the pressures Dean experienced about living a life that fit him fully–pressures that exist not just in his world, but also in our patriarchal world and society–and it implies that queer people can’t authentically experience attraction or love to someone of a different gender, because maybe they’re actually just “performing” the heteronormative ideal. As in: a “visually queer” relationship is the end goal, right? For Dean, that’s an m/m relationship... so surely m/f matters less, or maybe it can’t be a genuine and significant part of a queer person’s life.

Once again: I do not think any of this is intentional on the part of Gay Dean truthers, nor do I think it’s done with malice. Nonetheless, these harmful biphobic viewpoints permeate these conversations and misconceptions when people say these arguments are valid.

There is no canonical basis for explaining away all of Dean’s moments with women, and the story does not provide or point to any kind of cohesive narrative reason to do so. YES, people absolutely experience comphet in real life, and those experiences are valid and exist. YES, real gay men can and do sleep with or have nuanced romantic relationships with women before realizing they’re gay later in life. No, that does not mean that’s how analysis of a fictional character in a fictional story always works, especially in regards to a story built over time like Supernatural’s unique approach and the way it was molded to place queerness and specifically bisexuality at the core of Dean’s story.

Ascribing comphet to Dean in canon–or making any other insufficient justification for explaining away his attraction to women–is personal projection. And yes, it is bisexual erasure.

This is not a position fueled by personal hurt for me, as I would say the same here whether or not I was personally bisexual. It is an acknowledgement that these conversations don’t exist in a vacuum, and that’s something everyone should care to understand. I know what comphet storylines look like in fiction, and I know they are worth defining as such, and in other fandoms I even defend that very loudly. This is not the case here, and to say it is requires mental acrobatics that are objectively unsupported by canon... and invariably insisting otherwise perpetuates one of these harmful biphobic viewpoints whether or not one realizes it.

To say Gay Dean is a legitimate read of canon–which it is not–supports people who are erasing his varied sexual and romantic attraction to a different gender simply because they’ve decided they want to ignore that. “I like the idea of Dean being gay” does not mean that he is gay in canon, and writing meta to that end is a problem. It’s not an invalidation of someone on a personal level or some weird variation of homophobia to say that, and I do think people should maybe examine why they seemingly like the idea of him being gay more than him being bi, or why they staunchly defend it (or any other “different queer reading”) as a possibility.

I understand there may be the urge to be like “is it that serious” or “this is just a CW show,” but to that I would say… then why are we all here?

Clearly, most people do still care about queer representation on some level and understand that queer subtext is present and acknowledge that Dean isn’t straight... hence the origin of this new prevalent concept of “as long as you say Dean’s queer then it’s fine.”

But in any piece of media, the text is the text is the text. The text can also be compelling, and fascinating, and contain value whether or not it’s an exact reflection of you personally as a fan and as a person. Sometimes there is arguably even greater value in being able to find reasons to relate to the humanity of a character or in a story even though elements differ from who you are personally. It is an exercise in empathy, and it is a pillar of why humans tells stories to each other to expand our viewpoints, and it sometimes results in examining the sources of that empathy. It’s why “representation matters”: not just so we can see ourselves, but so we can see others, and find reason to empathize despite differences. There’s unquantifiable power in that, and it’s also why the diversity of queer experiences and identities should be championed and acknowledged both in fiction and in reality, not turned into a monolith. Our solidarity amongst our individual queer differences and identities is our truest version of strength and authenticity. We are not all exactly the same, and that’s a good thing. When care is taken to specifically convey that in fiction, it is worth not only acknowledgement but also defense.

So: do we or do we not care about why representation is important, and why these sorts of conversations should exist at all? About censorship of queer storylines, and diversity in the queer community, and solidarity in differences? About bisexual men, a vastly underrepresented group in fiction, and the specific censorship that affected Dean’s bi story accordingly? And about how these viewpoints people can place onto fiction through fandom-wide conversation–like implying Dean is ~queerer~ if you say he’s gay, or that you’re somehow sticking it to the CW and “straight culture” if you suggest he’s gay–can influence biphobia that translates into ways people see bi people in real life?

In other situations even in this fandom, people understand the value of diverse queer experiences. No one would dare to say that “you can argue Charlie is bisexual in canon because as long as you say she’s queer it’s fine.” Charlie is a lesbian. It’s very, very clear, and she shows and states that she is only attracted to women. Dean’s attraction to women in canon is equally clear, and is part of his bisexuality. Why is erasing that defendable?

Look: it is people’s God-given right to write whatever fic they want about “what if” variations of Dean’s sexuality through a different lens. It is not their God-given right to make things up about canon and call it analysis.

It is a universal truth that fandom is always going to take canon and mold it into other versions that they love, for their own personal reasons and in ways that have value to them. That’s why transformative works like fic exist, and it’s why fandom is awesome, and I’m glad people use aspects of their favorite stories to tell other inspired stories that are of personal significance to them. But the word transformative is used for a reason: it’s an alteration of canon. It’s not a bad thing or a personal attack on people to say that.

There is a difference between understanding canon and writing actual meta / analysis of the show, and writing AUs for ones own enjoyment and fulfillment. (This is true on AO3 or on Tumblr/Twitter. I often see posts that are positioned as “meta,” but again, are just cherry-picked weirdness.) These differences are important, as is understanding how headcanons and fic affect surrounding conversations and fandom perceptions. And this fandom seems to have a very big problem with understanding the difference between these things, while taking it extremely personally in a negative way when people try to explain why the difference matters.

Confusing analysis and transformative fandom does a disservice to both, and denying the value in the former is not only a form of anti-intellectualism but also removes some of the beauty in the latter. If we can’t distinguish and differentiate between canon and headcanon, we can’t discuss the value in understanding the canon, nor adequately discuss the artistic value and power in creating derivative variations from it in personal ways. Both are different, both are equal, both are vital, and insisting the distinction is needless hampers conversation across every space. And nowhere is that more true than when one is discussing queer representation and queer censorship, like in the case of Supernatural. Again, why are we here? Why do we care? You cannot argue for and discuss the problems of censorship sufficiently if you don’t understand what was censored–and in Dean’s case, that was his love for Cas and his bisexuality.

I leave you with this (probably unneeded) analogy:

Imagine Dean’s a zebra.

(Sorry, EDS community; not that kind of zebra.)

People are trying to say “Dean is a black and white hoofed mammal <3″ and well, that’s accurate, but that doesn’t mean him being a zebra isn’t its own unique thing. A whole bunch of people are looking at him though and saying “well I prefer to say that Dean’s a black and white horse,” because they like that viewpoint better. Close enough, right? A black and white horse is basically a zebra, right? And then there’s the people who are like “I think Dean’s a cow!” and it’s like, okay, no idea where you came from, but whatever.

The point is that those are all entirely different fucking things. They’re different animals. Someone wanting Dean to be a black and white horse doesn’t make him less of a zebra. Pretending otherwise is absolute nonsense.

This debate/discussion/discourse is equally nonsensical. That is the logic (or illogic) that applies here.

Just because Dean is “queer” doesn’t mean any queer categorization underneath that umbrella suddenly equally applies.

Dean is bisexual. And he is “queer” because he’s bisexual.

Those are the facts.

And for the love of God, please... I really don’t think I’m an asshole for saying it.

So, to whoever made it this far: please do me the courtesy of not hating me for it or trying to bait me into a fight.

I’m tired. Thanks.

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EDIT: Couple of good additions!

• @doctorprofessorsong added some good details about how some of these harmful biphobic concepts translate to real life, and real things that bi people struggle with.

• A lesbian anonymously sent in her perspective as someone who enjoys gay Dean headcanons/fic and agrees with this post, and agrees that the fact that Dean is bi in canon is important.

#dean winchester #supernatural #dean is bi #bisexual dean winchester #HAHA I TOLD MYSELF I WASN'T GOING TO PUT THIS IN THE OFFICIAL TAGS BUT THEN I SPENT HOURS WRITING IT SO FUCK IT #[slaps target on my back and cries] haha here we go #I'm not linking it on twitter though. I don't have that level of masochism in me. maybe this will fly under the radar on here a bit?#spn meta #I take a marijuana level of high road on twitter constantly but fun fact I'm not immune to knowing people hate me for daring to say this #doesn't change the facts though! and unfortunately I do actually give a fuck! even if few others do #maybe this is so long no one will read it #char writes things #also I did absolutely plagiarize myself in parts of this. what about it. ok I'm done goodbye.... screams #PS people CAN reblog this btw. I am being a little baby wincing at potential backlash preemptively but like #I wouldn't have posted it and left reblogs on if I didn't know and accept the risks <3 I will speak the truth idc idc someone's gotta do it #EDIT: I stopped being a coward and posted it on twitter :) because fuck it! I stand by my words etc etc it's all fine #me vs adding to the tags as if anyone's reading them lmfao

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bobzora · 2 months

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acheron so good she makes me want to complete gold and gears to unlock erudition blessings

#bobtalk #she fucks shit up SO hard with them it's crazy shit. she's actually crazy in SU. her ultimate is crazy #my world level (forget what they call it in hsr sorry) isn't maxed because i had a Massive hiatus after 1.0 LOL #so between that and well. my relics aren't great. i don't have any 5* sustains. i missed a lot of banners like in general.#my ability to clear higher content is kind of nottttt great <-couldn't pass stage 2 of pure fiction for the free lynx lmao #but at least in SU i can just get bonkers ass buffs #shoutout to the person on my friends list with the well built level 80 e2s1 acheron that i'm leaching off of for farming o7 #relics are so miserable for real. well what can you do #<-guy who used self modelling resin for a crit rate body for her acheron and it rolled all worthless substats lmao #btw i did start a hsr doodle dump u_u thank you for your support in this endeavor. will post it after accumulating more doodles.#rolling for e2 btw we'll see how that goes. won't be mad if i don't get her as long as i don't lose the 50/50 to someone ugly #future banner wishlist is fu xuan and silver wolf (missed her first rerun so. you know. lmfao.) (also missed tutorial lightcone we suffer)#don't know how committed i am to that though because i am kind of. not. a seele main. anymore. lol. for 2 team content maybe #i do really need better sustains. i am very squishy indeed. if i was playing smart i'd take advantage of luocha/aventurine. but uhhhh. lol #i don't pull for men <-hubris but its funny to commit. leaks forecast robin OP but also i already have both e1 bronya and sparkle.#unless the story goes crazy with her which at this point maybe it will who fuckin knows. i don't particularly care for firefly #well. we will see. for now. acheron OPification lol

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plethodontidae · 1 year

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i saw someone on here (a lesbian) say something so nasty that was along the lines of “if you’re a lesbian and you don’t find all men on earth ugly then you’re not a lesbian you’re bisexual” and just other gross things also about bi women and it turns out that they were a terf so yeah. couldn’t have taken me too long to figure that one out

#chit chat #I AM A LESBIAN BTW THIS IS NOT A LESBIAN HATE POST I LOVE LESBIANS!!!! I AM ONE #just to clarify LMAOAOAIDNDKS #a spade is a spade i guess LMFAO #tw biphobia #tw transphobia #i saw a they made a post about dylan mulvaney after scrolling through their blog and i said Oh! that didn’t take long!

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angeltism · 4 months

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i cant read the way you type. why do you put "." in between words that dont make sense, and why do you miss out letters of words and replace them with "." ?

i use putting a period in something that should normally just be a regular sentence or a sentence with a comma to signify me taking a pause, as if i were speaking and pausing since i tend to do that a lot in real life n it's just part of how i express myself. in general, i type in a way where i put spaces between most/all punctuation, it's just how i type online.

also i don't rlly get the last bit? do you mean putting a dot between a character name or something that could pick up searching? if you're talking about me writing something like "vin.cent char.bonneau" if i'm talking about the character from the video game, it's so if someone searches his name looking for fanart or something, it won't appear in the search because i don't really want random people seeing my posts? like i usually do this cuz i just don't wanna be some celebrity. note that i do not do this on my editing account, because i actually want the stuff i make to show up for people. this sideblog mainly functions as my journal, so i try to avoid posting stuff that could blow up or draw too much attention if i can help it.

..hopefully this explained it? i dropped the spacing n tried to punctuate a little more normally for this so it's easy to read :]

#➳ the fool's mail box #➳ sender; anonymous #im pretty sure my rentry mentions that i have a typing quirk so. sorry? but idk i'm just like that when i type. especially on here.#also i don't just do the dot in the middle of a word thing for fandom stuff like earlier talking abt aven.turine i did it in the middle of #roma.nian and rom.ani because those are actual tags people use and i don't want me rambling about some fictional dude popping up in said #tags because he is completely unrelated to the content of those tags #is this a long post btw. i can tag it if so i kinda rambled LMFAO i just wanted to make sure i explained correctly

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creaturefeaster · 2 years

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Could you tell us more about the world of Colorquest? I am fascinated by the world building you have done with it and I would love to know more about the people and places and species that inhabit the world :]

This is a request with a pretty broad range of things to go over, and thus is something I'll answer in pieces for you for time's sake. I think I'll elaborate a bit on geography and setting for this response, and I'll either reblog this again later with more info, or answer more specific asks to help piece things together in the future.

Anyway, CQ is set on an earth-like fantasy world and more specifically set on one special continent. There's actually much more to the world than what would ever be elaborated upon, simply because the heroes journey never leaves this somewhat isolated continent.

Continent enlarged for emphasis.

Native to this continent are primarily Bluple and Humans, with some various settlements scattered around. It is also the only continent that Talpians surface at. This is the reason why, while there's many different races in this universe, you tend to see these sorts of people more than others.

This part of the world's geological diversity is what I'd call remarkable. You will find boreal forests to arid plateaus to harsh mountain ranges to ice sheets to magical forests, etc.

This is generally where any given character native to the world lives. Tim/Brook/Hannah/Gary all live in a slightly warmer part of a taiga, Tanner/April/Leon live in the center-most town in the middle of the desert, Rachel/Bonnie reside in a particularly flat and dry part of the continent where the Talpian Dominion can be found, D/Vilmr/Samantha/Michael all live in a mountainous and magical climate, Taylor/Zack come from a coastal town, and Lauren/Elliot live in a uniquely bizarre spot dubbed the Deadlands.

I'll elaborate briefly on some of these locations.

The Talpian Dominion is an extremely complex & ancient set of caves underground, constructed through millennia of digging & tunneling by the reclusive Talpian people. Just how far this complex extends is unknown to all surface dwellers... and even most Talpians. It's pretty fucking big down there. Extremely warm temperatures, and even magma flows, would not be uncommon to see as you trek further into their world.

Lystrike is a dinky little town, whos only claim to any sort of fame is that it's pretty much exactly in the center of their continent. Other than that, it's pretty rustic and insignificant to the common eye. Someone that isn't from this world though, such as you the one reading this, may think that the glowing cacti & other local fauna are something of significance. However, this is merely a geological leak of... whatever magical substance that makes the distantly neighboring Forest of Love glow so bright.

The Deadlands are unique to this part of the world, and an enigma to all who do not live within its disorientating landscape. This land defies gravity whenever it pleases, it has an aura that dilates and heightens most senses, and its community is as strange as its surroundings. However, its biggest feature is that it's pretty much the world's lost & found dump. Anything that's gone missing ends up here, somehow, with no real explanation. The average Deadlandian can open their curtains in the morning to find that gravity is dangling lost items from across the world right over their lawn.

These ones are just as fleshed out, but I actually don't have (or just don't remember ><;;;;) names for them.

The jagged mountain range that Samantha lives in rarely sees sunlight. The weather is generally harsh and unforgiving, and for most of this range there's no life to be seen. However, this town dwells within a divot in the mountains, where they are sheltered by the towering rock a little more than other places to escape the bitter blizzards. That, and this specific location is unique in that it seems to have a lot more of that magic blue junk than pretty much anywhere else in the mountains. This magic is revealed through cracked geodes high in the rocks, which leak into mountain rivers, which just so happen to feed directly into the Forest of Love down a ways.

The Forest of Love is a large range of glowing blue forest that borders the east side of the mountains, and is generally the location that Michael, Debbie, and Vilmr live in. It is ever bright, and is considered one of the most uplifting places one could live in. Generally, those with magical inclinations live within or above the leafy glow of the forest to become more in sync with their magic, while those who do not practice tend to reside on the surface below. It's not actually clear if being closer to this magical canopy actually does anything, but that's just how those bitches live I guess.

Tim's area is probably the most neutral place you'll find in the story. It's much like cascadia, in that it's largely boreal and mild. Though his location is a little drier and more suited for farmland. This part of the land is a heavy export for the rest of the continent's basic grain & livestock material.

Zack & Taylor's town rests against a rather consistently rainy coast, where at least one day out of the week its weather parallels mild hurricanes. However much of the city is built with this in mind, and most areas of commute are sealed & domed. On the outskirts of town, though, spans mostly soggy beaches and marshy plains. Because of this location's wet climate, one may occasionally see the elusive fish person emerge from their oceanic abodes and wander the beaches. Usually in search of a beached fish snack.

*-~-~-*

Anyways, that's some info on some of the more significant locations in the CQ universe. It is 7:30 AM and I haven't gone to bed yet, so pardon any hiccups in grammar I may have left. I hope this helps you understand the world a little more. It also helps me to be able to write and cement this stuff down so I don't forget it later on, so thank you for being interested & asking me in the first place :3

#long post #sorry these doodle are kind of incomprehensible #but i hate doing long explanations of my stuff without at least some visuals #this post is fine to reblog btw if you want to bother your followers with a long post lmfao #brambleramble

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moe-broey · 1 year

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AAAUGH OOUGHHH.... (also some spoiler-ish things???? Nothing major, just referencing/discussion of supports)

Céline and Sharena friendship. Actually. ESPPPP after seeing her supports w Hortensia, like. I was actually wondering if she even would get along w Sharena, if they'd have any common ground personality-wise, beyond family and social status, but. I understand now. That literally wouldn't even matter to Céline. She just loves cute girls. She would find Sharena to be SO delightful. And the thing about Céline, is that, yes, she's very much a high society girlie, she's very much a princess and everything that comes with that, but. She's not really stuck up about it? She knows her worth, for sure, she knows she's desirable, absolutely. But like. She doesn't think she's better than anyone else. She doesn't have an ego. She's like. Grounded. And also, the littlest things entertain and delight her sometimes! Probably because she likely was a bit sheltered and secluded growing up, and likely also doesn't have a lot of the "average" life experiences one would have if like. They grew up in a village or something (actually, this is shown in her supports w Lapis, a bit! And what stuck out to me was just how excited Céline was to learn about Lapis and her resourcefulness -- both as a way to learn more about Lapis as a person, and a genuine curiosity and interest in what Lapis was teaching her!)

ALSO. BEYOND JUST THE FUN OF IT. I think Céline would really appreciate Sharena for who she is. Maybe there would be some bumps here and there, as Céline is assessing her -- I think, either Céline is the perceptive type (can tell if Something is off, if someone's words don't seem to match their emotions), or, that's actually a weak area for her. I know. Two complete opposite reads LMFAOOO BUT. I just don't know yet? But I am thinking about, how she is very emotionally intelligent. And I'm also thinking about, esp if it's someone she's just starting to get to know, she needs to study them. She needs information. Especially to determine how she feels about that person, measuring them up, seeing if they're someone she can be comfortable with. Sometimes, she's able to determine this quickly -- pretty much all the girls, she's quick to trust, and Alcryst, she's quick to trust as well -- I think, because she understands him almost immediately. Like, his M/O. His whole deal. He's fine, he's just haunted by endless horrors and ailments 👍 Passed the vibe check 👍 Also Jean passes the vibe check on account of being just a baby boy LMFAOO

But I think, how this relates back, is that. Maybe Céline would notice some Off things about Sharena, but not in a way that makes her seem untrustworthy or even insincere. It's a bit of a conundrum for Céline, actually. Trying to pinpoint it. But she likes Sharena, so she keeps talking to her, and makes it a goal to figure out what's going on. Eventually she does, realizing Sharena just has a rough mirroring, people pleasing and Getting a Good Grade In (insert any interpersonal interaction here) streak LMFAOOO

ALSO..... THINKING...... funny interactions between Alfonse and Alfred. Literally lowkey what happens in a few of Alfred's supports (I think it's a reoccurring thing?) where someone is up Way Too Late and Alfred. Is starting his day.

I think, on a more serious note, it would take some time for them to actually connect. Esppp bc of the opposite personalities. But Alfred is absolutely the perceptive type. He knows a lot more than he tends to let on. In a way, he has his own walls up, too. I think he'd be able to see through Alfonse very quickly, and given how Alfonse Is, just give him a little time to share way too much, be nice to him, and bam. Unintentional besties now. Alfonse head in his hands curled into himself dying in a chair "How does this keep happening" (<- GENUINELY does NOT understand How This Keeps Happening LMFAOOO)

ALSO. I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP??? BUT. I THINK. IT IS CANON that Alfonse has some body image issues as well??? It's EXTREMELY obscure, I feel like it's only referenced in Kozaki's Bruno comics where it's shown that Alfonse is envious of Bruno's body type? Like. I swear to god I feel it SO strongly I'm not making this up but also I. Don't have any evidence to back this up. And also maybe I did make this up. I could be completely wrong. I could have just invented this as a core memory.

BUT. As obscure as it is, that could be an interesting thing to explore. ESPPP given. How. Alfred's whole deal is, a desire for strength and to have that strength SHOW, on a physical level, to prove he's all better now and that he can live a long life. And, how. Alfonse himself doesn't seem to be able to put on muscle beyond like, being nicely toned, but Lif. Is fairly muscular. And that. Presents an interesting... scenario.

Espppp thinking about like. When Sharena was telling him about the endless possibilities for all kinds of different Alfreds in all kinds of different worlds, maybe there IS one who's buff as hell. Have you considered selling your soul to The Devil from The Bible and getting yassified in the process? It would solve! At least two problems!! 😬👍

(ALSO. FOR THE RECORD I still haven't finished Engage and I'm still filling out supports, and trying to avoid spoilers 😅 So if anything is missing, or some things seem off or inaccurate, that's why!)

#fire emblem #becoming autistic about them.#i have other thoughts too but they're. still being fleshed out i think. these ones i just need to set free LMFAOO #i. have a great fear of what may or may not happen to alfred. btw. don't confirm or deny anything for me #but from what i've absorbed through osmosis and knowing his supports w celine. i'm scared HAHAHAHA #also i. don't feel like tagging spoilers cause it IS so mild and also i have a filtered tag for it LMFAO #if it were major i'd tag anyway but. i feel like this is fine/somewhat common knowledge now #fe celine #sharena #fe alfonse #fe alfred #long post

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bitbrumal · 1 year

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long post on diluc’s reclusive tendencies & specific pain re: kaeya.

diluc’s persistent agony regarding kaeya’s secret, is not a petty refusal / inability to admit his own wrongs unless he gets to blame kaeya too. it’s not even necessarily blame in the sense of deeming kaeya’s lies / deceit wrong. by now, he has accepted that the cards his little brother has been dealt necessitate deceit - even of him, especially of him. for a long time he wished he could not forgive it. now he’s grateful.

it’s the agony of knowing that to the one person who only ever saw him as him. who didn’t see ‘diluc ragnvindr’ as a concept, a thing to respond to the way one must to those with power & status. [ “please don’t lie, adelinde. you don’t have to lie. it’s okay-” “you are very dear to all of us, young master. please don’t fret.” & she’s not allowed to speak ‘out of turn’, to tell him how she feels, to be a real person to him--& it’s fine to her because this is a job. it was diluc’s private life. he has so many strangers in his private life- ] the only person who didn’t lie to him about the things that matter: who loved him without conditions. crepus changed diluc. kaeya changed for diluc - changed from a frightful boy who didn’t want anything into one who dared to hold his hand. but also, less positively, would be the one to apologise or take the blame not bc diluc ragnvindr but bc diluc my only friend who i love dearly please don’t leave. ( diluc’s guilt at seeing that fear would always turn them into a feedback loop of no i’m sorry’s. )

but now?

from the very start - especially to kaeya, he was only diluc ragnvindr.

to this day diluc doesn’t really know who the fuck he is, torn to & fro by everything everyone wanted of him; & all the ways he had to behave in order to get some kind of honesty out of the people who approached him. but he does know that the only times he felt... easiest, felt most like he was flowing from some point inside himself instead of hoisting himself into a corset held out to him by others... were always, & only, with kaeya. because kaeya was awful, in many ways. he was mean, & cruel, & took to his vulnerabilities like a goddamn vampire - until crepus sat them both down & calmly explained that kaeya was taught by cruelty, & that he learned to be cruel to people he wanted to be close to. that it did not work that way here, that he would lose diluc if he continued to act like that-- & diluc, gullible little boy that he was, never ever saw any reason not to believe anyone. it didn’t make sense to his brain that words would be spoken that weren’t true. but you pick up on people’s feelings, too.

the boy who taught him the simple ways people lie, so he wouldn’t be taken advantage of so easily anymore. the boy who held his hand & laughed with him or shared his resentment at crepus’ conditional love - even if diluc’s was buried deep. kaeya... where diluc ragnvindr was a person instead of some kind of trophy. father wanted him to be excellent. the staff that fucking raised him wanted him to play the part required of him so they could play theirs, instead of begging for sincerity - he is only their job, only their distant most eligible bachelor, the uncrowned king, lord ragnvindr, diluc ragnvindr. he doesn’t fucking exist. by now he cannot find himself at all anymore.

the only one who looked at him &, instead of wanting the corset demanded the truth - who saw his vulnerabilities & his everything & engaged those instead... kaeya, who took to the real him like it was the only obvious thing. that orphaned boy was the only place in diluc’s world where he existed. & that wasn’t always comfortable, but it kept him aware - that he wasn’t the thing father made of him, even as he lost whatever the fuck else he might’ve been.

but they only got that close- every actual reason for them to be close, was that kaeya had to... he was just a target.

& now that, due to everything beyond kaeya as well as his confession, diluc’s literal ability to trust people is non-existent? he can’t talk to kaeya because he cannot believe a word out of his mouth - hates himself for wanting to trust blindly. he doesn’t want to hate blindly anymore either, but he’s so inherently... trusting. it’s one or the other; he must compensate so hard just to not feel like he’s selling himself cheaply again. & he can’t. he’s too simple - his mind doesn’t work this way & neither does his heart. he loves, & he trusts, especially because there is nothing left to love or trust. & even when he knows people’s cruelty he just trusts them to be that way... there’s no point demanding insincerity from people. let them lie, if that’s what they’re like. if only they wouldn’t ask him to play a part too.

diluc’s,,, autistic & very, very kind. it just doesn’t click in his head. things pretending to be what they are not makes no natural sense. he cannot... abide by the white lies & not so white lies people tell. the truth, no matter how painful, is never a cruelty to him - but it is demanded of him to lie at every turn. little lord ragnvindr, etiquette. the perfect fucking gentleman, & nothing else.

he keeps kaeya at a distance because he knows how much he needs him still, how little he cares for being loved truly- because it’s not a real option & he’s had to live with that forever already. his own father did not love him - he’s used to it. & yet, if he yielded like he knows he will if kaeya insists on continuing the lie - it will also break what’s left of his heart.

what distance continues to exist between them is because there was always distance, apparently, & diluc just no longer wishes to lie to himself. to have to. let everyone else; at least he won’t. let them be vapid & meaningless, & he to them - but not he to himself. if he is to find himself at all he cannot continue to be what people ask of him. all they give him is the negative space that can be filled in by the part he’s supposed to play. so then, he’ll simply not fill any of it in at all. he’s going to lie to himself again anyway; he cannot keep this up. but he wishes he could. & he tries so hard. & if he must be a cold, distant bastard to someone who’s already made it clear that they’re not... close, anyway. then why doesn’t he get to? everyone always cheats him. no-one ever cares - especially when they say they do. why does he have to keep allowing it? he just wants to find some way to speak to kaeya that won’t involve being lied to or humiliating himself -- blindly hating OR blindly trusting, & he cannot be anything but blind around him now. in general diluc finds it difficult to understand people. having no-one who speaks frankly with him does not help that in the slightest ( kaeya was the only one who taught him to see, not to play along ), so he’s just... isolating himself in hopes of being in the only company that won’t lead him astray. but he can’t heal, either.

& kaeya can’t tell him the truth. so he can’t try to heal - which is ignoring the fact he quite likely doesn’t deserve to be healed by him. ( not unless kaeya decides otherwise. but that is exactly that sort of ‘kindness’ people would feign in his direction - play along with the delusional young master, don’t burst his bubble. that’s rude. if the young master says your his friend then you are. somehow that makes sense to them? it does. because they go home to their real families. it’s professionalism & apathy; their job. like a customer service smile. i love you. )

& if kaeya actually did speak plainly. he will be telling the only truth that isn’t too good to be true - he just.. knows he won’t be able to handle that. kaeya was the one thing that made diluc want to live, because he was the one thing that made it possible for him to exist within his own life. & now, all of that, is the same simple lie everyone’s always told him. & the only reasons he fell & falls for it is because there is something wrong with his mind that makes him gullible. a fool, forever.

yeah, he’s quite done being around people.

p.s.: so in my portrayal, ‘gentleman diluc’ is fake as fuck & he doesn’t actually feel connected to anyone who he acts that way around. if he’s being seamlessly polite you know he doesn’t feel like a connection is even possible lmao so u get gentleman diluc bc that is all u want & he’s tired of asking for anything else.

#monthly btw diluc is supremely fucked up in silent lonely suicidal ways & he is incapable of truly hating kaeya but that's the scary part #- post.#hc ✦ diluc #idc if this was totally coherent it's 4am lol #anyway i love how deliciously complex & inherently tragic this all is lol #long post #imagine having literally no way to create a reason to live in ur life lmfao. 'live for urself' BITCH I DON'T EXIST #HOW ???#it's better than it was but it's still so far below 'okay'.#& being in touch with yourself finally when uh... your in so much pain? b o y.#for a child to have to accept their parents neither loved nor cared to see them is... insanely painful #& diluc's such a sensitive man too !!! he feels everything intensely /already/. god #anywya he could use a friend but he sure doesn't have one does he? Lol.

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