#this is a hard topic for me to discuss

[jokerislandgirl32]

Zach: “Don’t You Ever Call Her That…”

TW for mentions of Toxic/Abusive Relationships! TW for discussion of sl*t shaming!

So, I’ve hinted at it, but I haven’t publicly announced it I don’t think….but….Before Violet and Zach start dating, Violet was in a toxic/abusive relationship with a creep she went to high school and college with named Travis Carter.

Violet started dating Travis after she found out Zach was in a relationship shortly after she and Zach shared their first kiss. Violet was devastated, and she was convinced Zach hated her and wanted nothing more than to forget her, so Violet tried to do the same. Travis had been obsessed with Violet for years, constantly asking her out and flirting with her even when she told him it made her uncomfortable (it got to the point it was near stalking).

Even though Violet wasn’t comfortable with him, she knew he liked her and convinced herself he was her only option. The only guy who would love her and the only way she’d forget about Zach. So, when Travis showed up in her first college class (and all of them for that matter), she allowed him to sit with her, and when he asked her out a few days into the fall semester, she agreed.

Violet soon realized this was a grave mistake as he tormented her in every way imaginable (he was awful….they had a toxic/abusive relationship for a reason, but I’ll get to all of that in later posts/fics), but he was particularly vile when it came to Zach.

More below cut!

Travis knew how she really felt about Zach (that she loved him), and Travis tormented her because of this fact, regardless of her faithfulness to him. Prior to their breakup and after their breakup, which occurred in tandem with a nasty confrontation between Zach, Travis, and an army of Zachbots, Travis essentially sl*t shames her.

This resulted in many of Travis’s friends and Violet’s old classmates also accusing her of being unfaithful. Violet listened to these insults knowing they were untrue, hoping that one day she’d be with Zach, and as long as they are together she’d take the insults because in the end it would all be worth it.

After the relationship with Travis ends, she still hears the accusations, but she deals with them as best as she can. Then she starts dating Zach, and let’s just say he doesn’t take kindly to people calling his Vi anything less than perfect. Let’s just say Zach overhears someone call her this…the Zachbots are assembled… and it’s game over…

A Hateful Onlooker (aka Travis’s mom) gets up in Violet’s face after seeing Vi and Zach out one day: “How dare you walk around with him. You should be ashamed of yourself! After what you did to my son! You ruined his life, you ruined his reputation! All because you wanted to get with some other guy! I can’t believe you’d even show your face around here with him, you lying little sl*t…”

Zach, seething with rage, pulling Violet behind him, and calling the Zachbots to him: “Don’t you ever call her that…”

Therefore, Taylor Swift’s song “Sl*t!” is very fitting for Zach and Violet as she faces inaccurate accusations and Zach’s the one who’s there to quell her fears and let her know she absolutely is not anything less than perfect to him 💜.

“And I break down, then he's pullin' me in… In a world of boys, he's a gentleman…”

I’m going to be posting more about this side of Zach and Violet’s relationship/ Violet’s past in the near future (maybe today, we’ll see!). I’ll strive to lable every tw appropriately! If you have any questions in the meantime feel free to ask.

#wild kratts #zach varmitech #wild kratts zach #love zach varmitech #wild violet au #ziolet #violet varmitech #wild kratts au #wild kratts oc #tw abuse mention #tw toxic relationship #sl*t shaming #tw abuse #trauma #this is a hard topic for me to discuss #welp #here it is #unhealthy relationships #taylor swift music #long post

[esleep]

something some people fail to understand about the character names in Dune is that the ridiculously basic names like “paul” and “jessica” and “duncan” serve as slightly jarring reminders that this is all taking place in the far-distant future of our very own society. it’s such a fanciful future not rooted in reality that it can be easy to lose track of that sometimes until you read the name “duncan idaho” or references to the “orange catholic bible” and are reminded that oh yeah, our current earth has a place in the history of this world

#i have a lot of thoughts about this but i have a hard time explaining them well #had a discussion with friends recently on the topic that i avoided getting into this with but i regret that now tbh #i wonder what they would’ve had to say about it #i just didn’t have the energy to try and express myself at the time #and no one else is a freak like me who thinks about dune this often #so the moment has long passed #anyway. star wars is so busted for this but dune is not and this is why. #duneposting

[homeless202]

I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

-

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

-

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

-

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

-

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

#ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DELULU ENOUGH!! THAT'S HOW SHIPPING WORKS IN GENERAL. IN EVERY FANDOM. #anon. this shit fried my head. it 3.30am and my brain is not braining anymore. i love analyzing these two but goddamn is it HARD. #THERE'S SO MUCH NUANCE TO EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE *cry* #life's been hectic and this question demanded i sit down in 7 different sittings to get everything written down. hence why it took me a bit #i tried to write down all my thoughts and i don't think i managed. but i hope what i have here makes sense. #and i also hope i actually answered ur question. i feel like i got side-tracked and possibly missed the target. #no home #no home manhwa #eunyung baek #haejoon goh #ey hj parallels #meta #집이 없어 #webtoon #god u guys have no idea how many times while reading i was like 'omg they're gonna kiss omg pls do' #only to keep reading and going like 'hoLY FUCK PLS DO *NOT*!! get away from him omfg!!' #the whiplash was fucking unreal. i remember honest to god SOBBING at 4am every time they fought <- that first time read was rough #also! if you agree/disagree/want to correct me or just talk about the topic i'm open to discussion/criticism. (just pls be nice abt it ><) #my ask box is open <3

[cheekblush]

i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected

#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn #at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life #things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no.. #.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well #and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with #their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol #she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing #i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner #but her messages were truly annoying me #her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to.. #talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning #our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao #she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me #and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭 #idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3 #i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful #i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on #and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡 #even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial #am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please #she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol #but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed.. #me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!! #but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼‍♀️ #like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao #okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me #☁️

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"

#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall #y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these #rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything #BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes #'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and #acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something #managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show #''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was #set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol #OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting #around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes'' #''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often' #''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc. #ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye #BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by #putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones #when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or #magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!! #ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like #'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i #the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!! #it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action #fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on.. #ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally #defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just #opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of #points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its #bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol #Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully #agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it

[autevi]

watching @drdemonprince's conversation with Fern Brady and god this is why it's important to hear people like us talk about our experiences. i learn so much from other autistic people.

while talking about alexithymia fern described having ongoing and mysterious pain during a really stressful period of time that never went away no matter what she tried, and as soon as she received resolution on the thing she was stressed about, the pain also resolved. ive this exact experience a number of times and i have slowly been building a very contextually-specific hypothesis about it (my body builds up pain like a pressure valve and as long as i deny it it gets worse, and as soon as i give myself permission to take the rest i need - and take that rest - it tends to resolve. at least the acute moments. for the longest time, i would not let myself call in sick from work unless i was "sick enough", because i was terrified of being seen as unreliable, and because i was worried about losing the income for any missed days of work. i've always used up my PTO on sick days and doctor days because i needed so many of those.

ever since ive been working from home, and then promoted to a a role where i have a lot more ability to work around things like this without losing pay, i've suffered a lot fewer of those maxed out pressure valve moments.

my ibs in general and flareups have all also gotten a lot less acute.

fern's story just gave me a lightning bolt of realization, and put into perspective all this mysterious sporadic and chronic pain i experience that doctors can never really explain or understand no matter how much i describe it or how many tests i undergo. i just saw my doctor yesterday about it and she shrugged and suggested we continue to monitor it and as usual we ruled out all the things it probably isnt.

even ibs is one of those diagnoses of excluding what it isnt.

anyway. it's fucking incredible to hear someone talk about experiencing something and for the first time in three decades being able to point at that and go "yes!! me too!! that's the thing i experience too!!!"

#i have a lot of other thoughts about other topics discussed #especially about the training to be compliant and punishing those who are not #and about socializing feeling so risky and avoiding the landmines #im thinking HARD about how avoidance has characterized and dominated me #ive lost touch with my sense of desire and satiety #also being told we're perceived as aloof or scary or intimidating when we're internally super fucking terrified or overthinking #im having so many bigbrain thoughts and of course it's on a friday evening when im absolutely drained from my week #autevi

[miutonium]

Yesterday during Pre-FYP pitch:

#asuka speaks #im sorry guys but i just want to tell you guys the critique went well i just need to fix just a tiny little thing in my slides #anyway my lect is happy because it seems that I know very well about my topic and relieved that she doesnt need to worry about me #also im just really happy i get to tell her about some of the cool ads related to smoking like omg im cryingjrkrnem 😭😭😭 #like you guys dont get it this is the first time Im able to nerd out about it and tell her about the ads I stumbled on and have a really- #meaningful discussion about it wagsjshqkial 😭😭😭 #when i said I love psa and ads in general i actually mean I actively seeking out these things on a weekly to daily basis #and sometimes i put it on when i do work lol #yes there's actually compilation of it on youtube lol they even categorised it based on topics #i personally like the british/europeans one i just feel the message were so hard hitting sometimes #but i also love the old anti drug ads from the 80s-90s because of nostalgia lol #i know this seems probably weird but like lmao if anyone ever give me a chance to ask me which top 3 i like #i would give like 10 instead hsksksksk #anyway the fyp topic i picked were about smoking since my trip to the hospital and also my personal observation made me realised- #the initiative the moh are doing for anti smoking awareness is just so outdated lol #i dont despise smoking lol dont worry i just find that whatever the moh is doing isnt working for this era anymore #so i thought it would be neat to incorporate both art and psa because psas aren't suppose to be boring #and that's what consensus thought it is #sorry jdjidjslaoqlql im just nerding out here aldjdkalalql i just want to tell you guys what happened yesterday

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 9

"Allies or Enemies" by the Crane Wives

#song of the day #today class we will be discussing a tale of human suffering #so I mentioned yesterday how 'Slow Ride' by Foghat was the song of the day because of how the first ninety seconds were continuous-looping #alright yeah so now imagine me sitting shotgun as we drive half an hour to the movie theater #(to see Godzilla Minus One. it was bitchin I do very very recommend) #and the boys are discussing the latest construction along our highway #which has been a topic of great consideration for me actually #--I had a thought about erosion patterns and groundworks the other day and I went on a whole research spiral #downloaded some guy's doctoral research and all. we know how the research spirals go-- #anyway this is a topic I would have loved to weigh in on! #but instead every mental width of band I had was dedicated to my subconscious' dogged insistence #that the assonance and emphasis and rhythm of 'are we allies or enemies' and 'slow ride / take it easy' were similar enough #that I should be able to find a way to match them up to one another's backings #so the boys were like 'Alexis what do you think of those pylons' and I was trying so so so hard to answer #(I think they're moving the I-95 interchange ramps entirely and adding a new lane over--y'all can't see me point. it's over there though) #I was trying so hard to answer but it was like a little cartoon man trying to climb up a rockslide #except the man is my answer about the bridges for the interstate ramps #and all the comically round rocks ponking off his forehead were different ways a person might be able to scrunch and/or stretch syllables #to fit the choruses of these two songs over one another. 'are we slow ride guitar sounds death of mee' #anyway yeah! I've got all these little focusing tricks painstakingly cultivated over three decades of ADD and living with little siblings #and now we know they can all every single one be absolutely obliterated by the lightest application of a single classic Foghat song

[yakool-foolio]

Opinion on TinyLeaf’s video on Rain Code? (Specifically what they think of the characters)

I saw this ask pop up and instinctively went to go listen to the video. FYI: I haven't watched the full video; I wanted to mainly stick to your request of what TinyLeaf and Phos thought of the characters, so I watched up to the ending of that section. I feel like this video's (or at least what I've watched up to) unscripted nature really pulls down at any point they try to make about the characters they bring up. It also hurt to hear that they experienced the game with barely any audio, as the voice acting and music in this game really improves the experience, especially since this game isn't a visual novel and shouldn't be treated as one.

For a section talking about Rain Code's cast, it hardly felt like they discussed them with any greater detail. They kept bringing up characters from other games instead, making the discussion feel bloated. Their main point is that the cast is boring, but they rarely give reasons as to why they think so, with the only characters they really delved into being Yuma, Shinigami, and Kurumi. I do actually agree with their thoughts about Kurumi being bland. She really did feel like a 'nothing' character where her main purpose was to provide information unknown to Yuma when necessary for the plot. She's cute, sure, but it doesn't remedy how forced she felt in the story. As for the NDA detectives, TinyLeaf and Phos hardly spoke of them at all, Halara and Vivia being almost completely left out of their discussion. I think the point they tried to make is that the NDA detectives having their own focus for one chapter each is why they think they're boring, but that message didn't completely fall through.

If TinyLeaf is to ever make a scripted video in the future, it'll be a lot less like sifting through filler. But for now, this video serves as an opinion piece I don't really jive with. And that's fine! They needed to get out their unfiltered thoughts and feelings out and they did exactly that! But as a form of discussion, there isn't much I can really talk about since a lot of their points can be summarized as 'it was boring.'

#it also comes down to me preferring scripted essays over unscripted discussions #it makes me as a viewer have an easier time digesting what i hear #its difficult to keep focused when the topic is scattered about #no hard feelings; i wish tinyleaf and phos well #rain code

[spotsupstuff]

If ancients had their own version of pho what ingredients would they use?

no clue! i imagine that there is a lot of farm animals and crops that aren't introduced to us in the game or that even died out since then or evolved, so -waves hands around- it's anyone's guess!

i personally like to think that at least specifically the Secondary Homeland has such things as sheep, cows, most likely some actual birds like chickens- all with Some sort of RW twist. i also like to think that they def have stuff like rice. where would sentient people be without rice. so stuff like rice noodles are prolly a thing too

#Spot says stuff #rw #food is.. a hard topic to discuss to me cuz 1. me as a person aint a food kinda peep 2. that is a LOT of world building to do while also- #-the fact is that RW isnt all that different from our world all the time- there's a lot of things that are real for us just with some kind- #-of twist. so i feel like it is safe to assume and say they have a lot or all the things that we do just maybe genetically perfected #the popcorn plant is the best example for this. its a corn ear with inbuilt popping. pronto popcorn. perfected for popcorn purpose

[a-very-fond-farewell]

tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. let’s write then 😈🔥

#sneaky niki #lamb loose liveblogging #I wanted to take a day off.. but my brain is now accustomed to wake up at 5 I guess?? #that’s so not fetch of me #topic of the day is: #I’m pissed bc I had to make a sensible decision and move a plot point a few chapters down the line #which is not fun #but feels more organic #judging by the way I’m keeping steady on this fic I think it will reach 300k #that’s a rough estimate #maybe 280k if I’m being generous instead of acting like a sadistic prick #but that’s just a theory #HDS is making it extremely hard for me to keep a steady pacing too #for example. recently he’s been giving me headache after headache about his growing sense of paranoia #he knows he isn’t sleeping enough #he knows he’s stressed af #the only reason why he has to trust one or two people in his life is bc he will turn absolutely insane if he doesn’t #and this is not me shaming #I remember how I was at my most paranoid during a prolonged episode #trust me. that ain’t fun #but he’s starting to hear things. that’s concerning. that’s suspicious. he needs help #but as usual. he refuses to acknowledge his limitations #also. attic-wifing your nemesis maybe isn’t a safe starting point to discuss with a trained professional during therapy #do criminals go to therapy? #I mean. not convicted ones. I do believe it’s part of their reintegration program. good for them #but like.. sneaky criminals? big fish evading taxes? one inconspicuous attorney holding his amnesiac crush hostage? #idk mate this is fiction #you have fun today ok? #go hug someone. or a pet. or a tree. #:D

[louisdotmp3]

that pipeline of anti-intellectualism to the worst/most lukewarm political opinions on leftist politics. like actually maybe you guys should know a little bit about what you're talking about and then you won't sound so foolish or have to constantly reinvent theory & discourse that was already covered extensively in the 20th century

#so many people are just doing 2nd wave feminism and don't even know it because #when they say theory should be easily accessible what they mean is i refuse to seek out knowledge of the hard work done before me #and if i don't stumble across it in my day to day life then it doesn't exist #same thing with a lot of other leftist political topics. i see so many people going hey guys i think i cracked the case/connected something #new #especially when it comes to racial capitalism and the black radical tradition #like actually you're not saying anything new maybe you should read some cedric robinson walter rodney du bois angela davis fanon audre lord #like. it's better to have a common foundation to work from instead of constantly trying to reinvent the wheel! #and sometimes theory is tough to get through but that's why you discuss it with other people. it's important! #important things aren't always easily digestible & shouldn't be #black marxism for instance is dense but foundational!!!! as foundational as marx himself!!! #not that u guys have read marx either #anyway <3

[durchdenspiegel]

Whoops life lesson don’t finish a presentation ten minutes before you have to give it 😶

#also i‘m sleep deprived and pmsing hard. was i holding back tears during the discussion? perhaps #like the critice wasn’t even bad. my presentation was just messy and entirely too dense #there were good points in there. somewhere. #also on of the profs has this way of critiquing that makes me super defense and if i get defense i get angry #i wanted to argue with her so bad #thank god the semester is almost over #only have to write a term paper over the topic still hahahaha 😶 #studyblr #mine

[icewindandboringhorror]

I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol

#''hey. whats up? you look kind of sad.. is something wrong?'' normal answer (apparently how people are supposed to talk): *looks away #remosefully and stares into the distance* ''n-no.. I'm fine. don't worry about it.'' abnormal answer (how I would respond): ''Yeah I #'m mostly fine. I was just thinking about what the future is going to be like 30 years from now and if I'll ever actually accomplish anythin #g that I want to. which makes me feel X way for XYZ reason. you see because I had a dream last night that made me think of *continues to exp #lain my exact emotional state and inner thought process completely matter of factly in exact detail for 5 more minutes* #tfw you would be a badly written character if you existed in a story lol #This is also why I struggle making conflict because most conflicts can be resolved through conversation and I personally love to have long #detailed conversations about everything. Like literally I don't have hardly any conflicts interpersonally because if something happens it's #immediately followed up with like ''hey sorry if my tone of voice sounded a bit pointed or harsh. when you were talking to me I was trying #to balance all the stuff I was taking up the stairs and also my leg hurts so I think all my mental energy was being used there and I just #didn't feel like talking. I should have just said 'wait a minute and we can discuss it inside' instead of trying to end the conversation qui #ckly in a short rude way.' ''oh yeah thats fine. I thought it was something like that. sorry for hounding you about the topic as well. i #havent eaten in a while so I think I'm just a bit prickly at the moment. we should both rest for a while and destress from the store #trip and then talk about it later. maybe after lunch?' 'sure. sounds good.' like LITERALLY. lol #it is so hard for me to write characters who are bad communicators or don't understand their own internal states or arent constantly #analyzing their own actions to understand what they do/don't feel and why and what the cause of it is and etc. etc. etc. #I just naturally want everyone to perfectly undertsand everything and communicate amazingly and have complete self awareness and #logical presence of mind gjhbj.. which like.. of course comes across as unnatyural and also those type of people rarely ever get involved in #conflict and conflict is APPARENTLY what drives stories (even though I don't like most conflicts and just want to resolve them lol) so ...aa #I mean you can get around this to some degree by the fact that (at least in my opinion) no rule for dialogue is 100%. dialogue is good if it #sounds naturally like it comes from the character who said it. It can be meandering and pointless and rambly IF that matches the character. #it can be dry and overly self aware IF your character is that way and it suits them. So like throwing in a few detached scholar types or lik #e '5000 year old cave dwelling hermit' type people is good for me and works BUT the thing is an ENTIRE cast of characters can't be that way. #at some point - even in a setting where everyone is reserved and academic (like a research camp in the wilderness full of scholars and stuff #) still SOMEBODY has to be the one who's conflict prone and doesn't pristinely understand all of their emotions and etc. etc. Because statis #tically that is still literally the majority. Kind of like my tendency to make everyone 100% aromantic and asexul when it's like.. YES.. may #be 2 or 3 or even 4 out of 10 of them could be that way. but like.. an entire group? a diverse group of 10 people from all walks of life and #EVERY single one is like that??? hgjh . you have to add realistic variety #As much as I'm pro 'have more stories where sex or romance are literally NOT involved at all in any capacity since it's already oversaturate #d in media' I'm also dedicated to realism. alas. (at least as realistic as you can get in a fantasy setting lol)

[woolydemon]

my nitro trial expired today, but heres a fun video adaption of when i used it for this

#its hard to make the joke 100% clear without screencapping a long ass convo (aka us going Crazy) #but basically the convo sprouted from me talking abt white haired twink and it kept diverting and escalating off track #& i was consistently ''hey guys lets talk abt komaeda'' ''hey guys lets talk abt komaeda'' ''hey guys lets talk abt komaeda'' ''hey g #it got to the point i would just say ''i have a fun topic of conversation for us to discuss'' #and bay would be like ''if u fucking say komaeda i will kill u'' #and then i would say ''hey guys lets talk abt klap.ollo'' instead #so thats why loe was like ''oh i know u have a topic of convo :| .'' #discord funnie #tffies

[linagram]

[ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜' 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜 ]

here they are!! finally!!

okay, so at first i thought that i should add something like "part 1", since this post will include only the guilty trio's side characters, but i thought about it and.. i don't really think i should make profiles for other side characters too? most side characters are just the family members (like asahi's adoptive father or eiko's mother) or they're those prisoners' friends (riku's friends/bandmates, reina's friends, etc) and i don't want to make profiles for all those friend groups.

but we'll see! maybe i'll just drop some family/friends lore when i feel like it.

Side character 001: Saito Arata

Name: Saito Arata (斎藤新) (his last name means "purification, worship" and his first name means "fresh, new")

Age: 17 y/o

Gender: Male

Birth date: March 23rd (Aries)

Height: 176 cm

Blood type: AB

Occupation: High school student (first year)

Personality: Arata is an interesting and unpredictable person. It's hard to tell what's going on inside his head, but he always looks like he's up to no good. He does whatever he wants and whenever he wants and he doesn't care what others say. He's very chill and relaxed most of the time and there's only a few things that can make him angry. He's very talkative and outgoing, but he still has no friends.. Or maybe he has one, if you can call that boy his friend. It's hard to impress someone like Arata, so if you manage to do that, don't be surprised if he suddenly becomes obsessed with you and starts basically worshipping you. But also.. don't be surprised when he just as suddenly decides that he doesn't find you interesting anymore and leaves you. His interests change all the time, he can't control it. And also, even if you are like a god to him, it doesn't mean that he will forget about everything else. He's not as loyal as he likes to make people believe. Also, what's the point of being so obsessed with someone if he actually has more power than anyone else here?

Trivia:

Arata's grades aren't that good and one of the reasons why he started to like Akio is the younger boy agreeing to let him copy his homework.

Arata doesn't look exactly like Riku, but they share some other traits, like age, zodiac sign, blood type, being taller than Akio and having dark hair. Also, Riku not looking like an exact copy of Arata and Akio still liking him because of how much he reminds him of his follower can be explained as Akio missing Arata too much.

Arata is a year older than most of his classmates, but there's not any particular reason for that.

Arata really likes animals that are considered to be weird, dangerous or scary by most people and he was obsessed with insects and dinosaurs when he was a child (he still is). He also has a huge shark plushie in his room, but it's not cute at all and it's actually kinda creepy. When Akio found out about that interest of his, he tried to find as much information as possible, so that he could impress Arata with his knowledge later.

Arata actually didn't care about Akio that much when he first met him, he only had to spend time with him for reasons I can't talk about yet, but as he kept learning more about him and what kind of person he is, he started to admire him and be truly supportive of him.

Arata knew Akio's victim well not only because of them all being classmates, but also because Akio's victim really wanted to be friends with Akio and that annoyed Arata even back when he wasn't interested in Akio (or at least he thought so). When he fully turned into Akio's follower, he did everything to make his victim's life worse: from stealing his medications to "accidentally" pushing him down the stairs. Akio actually didn't need to try and "manipulate" Arata to kill the poor boy for him, Arata would do it anyway sooner or later.

If you remember, the silhouettes' eyes in Akio's MV were green (meaning envy and jealousy) and only one of them had pink eyes (meaning love and genuine support). Yes, those other figures are Akio's classmates and the pink-eyed figure is supposed to be Arata.. but only in this particular MV (symbolism, am I right), because in real life, as you have probably already noticed, Arata has heterochromia and one of his eyes is pink, meanwhile his other eye is green. And yes, I've made his eyes like that on purpose.

Remember how Akio mentioned in his interrogation that he's okay with anything his mother cooks, but something was crossed out? He actually wanted to write "anything Arata cooks", but quickly changed it to his mother, because he found it too embarrassing and he didn't want the guards to ask about Arata. The funniest thing about this is that Arata actually can't cook at all and he just bought random food and then he was like "Yeah, I've made it for you, do you like it? <3". It worked though and Arata had to hold his laugh every single time because Akio genuinely believed him.

Side character 005: Mikazuki Ruka

Name: Mikazuki Ruka (朏 瑠日) (his last name means "crescent moon" and his first name means "lapis lazuli" and "sun")

Age: 21 y/o

Gender: Male

Birth date: May 19th (Taurus)

Height: 164 cm

Blood type: A

Occupation: Unemployed

Personality: Ruka wishes people would just.. ignore him or pretend he's not here. He doesn't like talking to people and finds it exhausting. Even simply being around people is too much for him. No, actually, everything is too much for him. Getting up in the morning or even simply eating or breathing is too much work for him. It would be nice if he had someone who could just.. do all of that for him. He'd be okay with doing anything in return for that.. well, if it's not too exhausting. Ah, and if this doesn't sound too weird yet, Ruka has this interesting habit of saying that he's actually dead if anyone asks him to do something he's too lazy to do or simply asks him a question about his past or how he's feeling right now. He often says something like "'Cause I'm dead" in the end of his sentences. He never explains why he does that and it seems much more serious than just him trying to come up with an excuse not to talk about something or not to do something. Maybe it's because he genuinely feels like he's actually a corpse and that's why he's always so tired?.. Ah, but don't think that he's always so cold and emotionless. He's actually very expressive, but only around one specific person.

Trivia:

Ruka's voice is very androgynous and most of the time people have to ask him about his gender. It doesn't help that he has a unisex name as well. And when someone asks him or thinks he's a girl, he simply shrugs and goes "I'm dead anyway, so it doesn't matter". He often wears skirts and dresses too.

Speaking of that habit of his, at first Kei thought that Ruka suffers from "Cotard's syndrome", a condition in which the person thinks that they're actually dead or don't have any blood or organs, but he has soon found out that Ruka knows perfectly well that he's alive, he just likes to think that he's dead, a walking corpse or even a zombie.

Ruka stopped growing when he was 14 years old and he still looks very young and people often mistake him for a teenager. When Kei first met him in a night club, he actually got worried and wondered how this kid was allowed in here. Ruka kinda likes the fact that he looks so young, since "it proves that he really has died and stopped aging".

Ruka is much more talkative around Kei in general. And just so you understand, he wasn't a "poor innocent guy who Kei has kidnapped and tortured in his basement", he was free to go anywhere he wanted to (without leaving the house, of course) and do anything that he wanted. He even made fun of Kei and made jokes like "Ah, do you like me for my childlike appearance or something? You're even more of a creep than I've thought" (Kei punched him right after that and made him take his words back because even he got uncomfortable after hearing that) and "Just beat me up and take as many photos as you want already, I wanna go to sleep as soon as we're done". He even teased him and said things like "What, is this everything you've got?" while Kei tortured him. Kei absolutely did horrible things to him, but Ruka still had more freedom than it was shown in Kei's MV and even though he's still a victim of kidnapping, he actually kind of enjoyed the process because he thought he was finally about to die for real.

The outfit that he's shown wearing has sun and moon motifs which is a reference to his name meaning. I wanted his name to be related to both sun and moon to show that he's Kei's "sun and moon", that meaning that he's Kei's everything.

According to Ruka, he doesn't have any parents or siblings and he also hates when people ask him about them. He still had a friend group (he didn't care about them at all) and he actually was basically forced to come with them to that night club from Kei's MV. They have still spent a lot of time explaining that he really is an adult This is how Kei and Ruka met and Kei went "Oh.. He's just like me fr.."

It's hard to explain what kind of relationship Kei and Ruka had, since it's hard to call them friends and they weren't really a couple. Their relationship had platonic, romantic and sexual elements, but they still had no idea who they are to each other and they mostly just treated each other like an artist and a muse at first before they started to become closer.

Side character 008: Kanasawa Takame

Name: Kanasawa Takame (金沢喬女) (her last name means "gold" and "swamp, stream" and her first name means "high, noble" and "woman")

Age: 31 y/o

Gender: Female

Birth date: November 16th (Scorpio)

Height: 170 cm

Blood type: O

Occupation: Maid cafe manager

Personality: Takame is a polite and gentle woman who is always very kind to everyone, especially her employees. She has a very good reputation and everyone knows her as a caring and understanding person who never lets her employees overwork themselves and if she sees someone making them uncomfortable, she will make sure to take care of that and protect them. She's quite passionate about anime, manga and games and that's.. uh.. one of the reasons why she decided to open a maid cafe. What about the other reasons? Haha, you don't have to know that. Maybe this woman really does have a dark side, but only one of her workers knows about it. And that worker still loves her no matter what.

Trivia:

Takame secretly has a thing for cute girls in maid outfits and that's a second reason why she opened a maid cafe.

Takame really does have a secret second job and her being a cafe manager is just something she does to hide her secrets and make herself look like a normal person who doesn't do anything illegal.

Unlike other two side characters who actually liked their prisoners, she didn't have any feelings for Yurika and just manipulated her because she knew that Yurika is the only worker who would agree to help with something like Takame's second job and she knew that Yurika really needs someone to rely on, so she promised she will take care of everything that Yurika has problems with. She thought that Yurika is cute, but that's all.

Takame really does like anime, manga and games and that's not something she made up. She believes that no matter how old you are, you should still do what you like, even if other people judge you for it.

She knew everything about Yurika's past and her problems and she knew about Yurika's relationship with her victims. She used that information to make Yurika trust her, but no matter how manipulative she was, she actually did protect Yurika from her stalkers and people who harassed her. Of course, that made Yurika like her even more, but when Takame did that, she genuinely wanted to protect Yurika because she didn't want her to go through anything like that.

#most facts are just about their relationships with their prisoners but if i tried to talk more about their backstories and personalities #it would be way too long and i also want to discuss those topics later so yeah #feel free to ask questions about them though! #no arata doesn't actually have an akio itabag BUT IF HE COULD MAKE/BUY AKIO MERCH HE WOULD #i really really like his dynamic with akio especially bc i know arata's backstory so i'm like. HHHHH THEY'RE SO INTERESTING #yes i can't believe i'm saying this but. kei and ruka's dynamic is kinda cute if you think about it #OF COURSE IT DOESN'T EXCUSE THE KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING AND BASICALLY BRAINWASHING HIM AND ALL THAT STUFF #but still it's very interesting how kei likes ruka bc he acts like kei's real self meanwhile ruka likes him because he makes him feel alive #and in a good way and he doesn't want to say that he's dead when that happens #also when i started working on lineart and looked at takame i realized that she reminds me of shidou's wife and i screamed #LIKE I THINK SHE DOESN'T HAVE THOSE VIBES NOW THAT THE DRAWING IS DONE BUT STILL #(yurika simping for shidou's wife is a hilarious concept though) #i don't know if these guys will have their own tags but again we'll see #i'll just tag their prisoners for now #👑prisoner 001: miyagawa akio👑 #🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓 #🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀 #(and yes i used a chain brush for ruka listen i got lazy IT WAS SO HARD TO DRAW THIS GUY FOR SOME REASON) #(AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN HIS FULL DESIGN YET.)