#this is Very different to what ive done before so tread...carefully

[cloudcountry]

i created my own ikemen wrapped for 2023. this is how i feel about the routes i played by the end of the year!!

this isnt spoiler free so tread carefully!!

IKEMEN VAMPIRE!!

im sorry jean you would have had a higher rating if i DIDN'T play your route. i'm mostly neutral towards a lot of them but i ADORE the top four. it becomes even funnier when you realize that the top four are the only ones whose routes i have completed.

i played isaac's route twice, shakespeare's route twice, vincent's route once, and arthur's route once. i started comte's route only to drop it, and i am currently on jean's route!! i did not diversify my suitors at all JAHSJASGHD

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

one thing i remember about isaac is when he started to fall in love with her, the scene in the church when he tied that ribbon in her hair. i nearly choked when he called her darling, he was smiling so sweetly and holding her so close. it was such a tender scene.

( honorable mention to that certain fanart i was tagged in so many times that the op called me a true isaac lover or something along those lines. it made me really happy that so many people, even people i didn't know, knew how much i adore him. )

for will, my most memorable moment of him was when i realized i loved him after playing vincent's route. i hadn't cried that hard over a character's misfortune in a while, but will's always been good at giving me a rollercoaster of emotions.

( honorable mention to vio calling my love for will blinding, ive thought about it a lot ever since she said that C: )

my most memorable moment of vincent was when he tried so hard to make mc genuinely smile on her first few days in the mansion. he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so he tried his absolute best to make sure she could be herself and be happy. he really is an angel.

for arthur, it is one hundred percent his apology to mc for almost biting her. i've never seen him look more like a sad puppy in my five months of playing and honestly, it was so nice to see him reflecting on his actions and actually being able to admit his feelings (since we know arthur isnt the best with that.)

( once again, honorable mention to my enemies to lovers arc with this man. he's really not as bad as he appears, he is one of the most tender hearted and sweet men in the whole game. give him a chance if your heart allows it!! )

even though i'm not done with either comte's or jean's route, comte's most memorable moment was when he called the mc strong in chapter one. it was nice too see someone acknowledge her situation and try their best to help her instead of biting her. side eye.

and on that note, i'm sorry jean but your most memorable moment is the only one that made me angry. i hate that he bit her and i hate that the writing just skipped past it like it meant nothing. im blaming this on the writing itself because i believe jean's route is a good route so far, but it would have been so much better if it had a different beginning. but if i pick one that was actually wholesome, i'd say whenn he took her to the field of lilies and said the flowers were very her.

i started playing on july 2nd, 2023!! and what a journey it has been ^^

IKEMEN PRINCE!!

my first route was yves!! i wanted to play licht's first but people talked me out if it because his route is HEAVY!! i ended up playing rio's, then licht's, then nokto's, then i played about halfway through clavis's before keith's route was released. i played keith's route twice and then hopped back over to clavis, and i'm currently finishing up his route!!

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

when mc chased after yves when he was leaving for obsidian just to tell him she loved him i was SCREAMING. i remember really admiring how much strength it must have taken to go to the kingdom that abandoned you.

for rio, it was 100% the discussion he had with nokto about how he doesn't want to be with mc because he might put her in danger by being with her, but ultimately he can't help himself. that was such a good insight into his character.

licht's route was. intense. and because of that it was packed with moments that i agonized over. but overall, i think what nokto told mc about how the closer she got to licht, the more she was hurting him stuck with me the most. it really showcased the bond between the twins and sent a knife through my heart :C

i actually forgot i played nokto's route and skipped right over him, and that probably says a lot LMAO oops. honestly i thought his route's pacing was weird but the romantic ending was very cute. the most memorable moment from his route wasnt even a cute one HELP!!! when mc straight up slapped him for no reason and he was like "oh so slapping me helps you huh??" and she was like " :(( no...." and then they made out like WHAT!!!

clavis is also a very memorable person, and after spending a lot of time analyzing him i know why so many people love him now. something that really stuck with me was his philosophy on government and how the current ruler decides whats right and wrong. i think the same about people in power so it was nice to see my sentiments reflected in a prince.

oooh its time for my favorite prince!! keith also had a lot of memorable moments and ive been sitting here for like ten minutes trying to pick out the best ones.

for nice keith, i'd say the moment when he told mc he would try his best to stop saying "a guy like me" and "i'm sorry" over and over. it really touched me because i know how hard it is to break that habit and it made me really happy when he said he'd try ^^

wicked keith was such a TEASE but the most memorable moment with him was when he and mc went out to that cafe and he actually answered a lot of her questions. i know that may seem trival but it felt like a sigh of trust to me and that felt really sweet.

( honorable mention to the scene were they gave mc the earrings they picked out for her during the christmas event, i actually cried. )

i started playing on july 11th, 2023!!

IKEMEN REVOLUTION!!

my first route was kyle ash and honestly i'd say for a guy i don't like romantically his route was very memorable. he's a great first route and if anyone is a bit indecisive as to who they want to pick i'd definitely recommend him!! ANYWAYS moving on, i played harr's route next, then edgar, zero, jonah, then i tried playing ray's but he was being stinky so i started lancelot's route.

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

like i said, kyle had one of the best route i've ever read. listen to vivi aka the ikerev authority people. i remember lots of bits and pieces from his route, such as his determination to keep people alive, his pig goo, mc making him soup so he wouldnt drink himself to sleep, his gentle care for her once he figured out he liked her, how he pointed out the full moon and told her she could go home and was happy when she chose to stay, how he waited until everything was over to let her know how he felt, how he DIDNT DRINK on the night he wanted to make love to her, OUOTUOROUGUOUROHGH IM TELLING YOU HIS ROUTE WAS TOP TIER. but the thing that stood out to me the most was how him and mc worked together to save amon, and furthermore, to uphold kyle's principles. it was so heartwarming when mc told him to stick to what he believed in (even if i wanted to punch amon's teeth out during that scene)

i would keep talking about kyle's route but i have to move!! on!! because harr's route was peak domesticity. the first time he took his mask off in front of mc is one of my favorite moments (i actually did a happy little dance when i saw the other half of his face ehhe) because it shows such beautiful trust in her and arghgougohugo INSANE.

the most memorable moment of edgar's route was absolutely when he was so hesitant to let alice hold his hands, but when she takes them so comments on how warm they are. it was such an emotional moment because edgar was definitely feeling very complicated but alice was still there for him. i love them together :((

( honorable mention to vio saying i was alice reincarnated when i talked about that scene were they were all calling sweets evil LMAO that made me very giddy ^^ )

( second honorable mention to edgar asking mc if she thought pickles were a wolf in sheep's clothing??? weirdo. )

i was intrigued by zero all the way back in harr's route, and i started to really like him during edgar's route when he was trying his best to protect mc, which was really sweet. absoLUTELY the most memorable moment in his route was when he was fighting against the magic tower and he emerges from the rubble with an injured arm and a smile, just to tell alice "i'm home." i was crying like a BABY. zero i love you. please marry me.

jonah's route is a classic and a fan favorite, and i can see why. he starts out being arrogant and hell (and its irritating tbh) BUT he melts so quickly under gentle love and care. anyways, the red army routes seem to have a theme of giving up your position for what you believe is right because it happened like three times okay!! and jonah became a "traitor" to the red army just to protect alice. it was him and her against cradle and i will NEVER forget that.

lancelot's first impression was really bad but after playing all the red army routes and finally, his own route, i've grown to like him a lot. what really sticks out to me about his route is when he takes mc away from the dance floor because they're being stared at and they have a heart to heart. he tells you a single white rose would suit her or smth along those lines and when i looked up the meaning and saw it meant hope and renewal i DIED.

i started playing on july 27th, 2023!!

IKEMEN SENGOKU!!

my first route for sengoku was mitsunari, then kenshin, then kennyo, then sasuke, then kanetsugu, then yoshimoto. the only routes that didn't bore me to death at the end were mitsunari's, kennyo's (i was actually shocked when the route ended, it felt like the perfect length to me), and sasuke's. i can't speak for yoshimoto though since i just started. i feel like ikesen has a tendency to reallyyyy stretch out the routes but maybe thats just me.

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

mitsunari was such a good first route for me, and the most memorable part of his route was definitely when he challenged nobunaga for mc. not only was it unexpected but i was so proud of him for betting so much on his plan AHGRHGG mitsunari my beloved.

kenshin's route was crazy but EASILY the best part was when mc rode into battle with an army of her own to stop kenshin from FLATTENING the country. she kicked ASS and earned the title "goddess of war" for what she did and that was so cool of her.

i played kennyo's route because of the parallels between him and kenshin and WOW i did not regret it. his route was phenomenal but the most memorable part was when mc and him buried the bell that kennyo had kept with him to remind him of all the lives he felt he was at fault for losing. it symbolized finally letting those people have their peace, and furthermore, kennyo's inner peace. it was beautiful.

sasuke really got me when he THREW himself into battle with kenshin after kenshin lied about him and mc liking each other. sasuke's desperation to let her know that he couldn't stand her being with someone else made my heart RACE. it was so nice to see a suitor finally being on the more "selfish" side.

kanetsugu's route had the Wonderful experience of mc carrying a head!! a decapitated head!! and while i'm sure he has a lot of cute moments (one of them being when he told mc he loved her and she FREAKED OUT) I CANNOT GET OVER MC PICKING UP A DECAPITATED HEAD LIKE ITS NOTHING!!! shes a trooper.

yoshimoto's route gives you the unique (and memorable!!) experience of a warlord actually viewing you as a friend instead of an enemy!! (keep in mind this is coming from someone who has only played ONE oda forces route. im constantly on the "enemy side" oops) i thought his mindset was very refreshing after months of "oh nooo we cant see each other we're enemiesssss"

i started playing on july 27th, 2023!!

this took me so long to write oh my goodness. it was fun though!! im thinking about how all of this information is only five months worth of playing so i dont know how im going to handle TWELVE MONTHS PLUS A NEW GAME but i'll figure it out. i might leave the fandom before then idk!! who knows!! but anyways thank you if you read my thoughts i love sharing them even though i know its a lot hehehe

#ikemen wrapped for sillies!! #ugh i loev keeping track of things #organization my beloved #auburn talks ikevamp <3 #auburn talks ikepri <3 #auburn talks ikesen <3 #auburn talks ikerev <3

[cloudstrifing]

11, 12, 47 for askmeme?

hewwo anon thank u for asking! :3

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

i like gritty fucked up aus so both the ones that came to mind are that, tread carefully and mind any warnings!

At Sea by story_strudel (rudereno): extremely cool ff7 au, wonderful world building and vibes, amazing characterization, the emotional slow burn has me eating my hands I am just sitting here so patiently waiting for updates and even if it is never completed im still grateful for what this author gave me. their fic enchantment night is a banger too

f*ck yourself: self-improvement with convicted felon millions knives by elthedane (kniveswood): WEE WOO STRONG CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS ONE, contains heavy themes, dubious consent, and prominent side kv--this knives is a convicted murderer who is fully freaking out bc he might be falling for someone who is NOT vash, give it a hard pass if that's not for you. the characterization and writing and au setting are so top notch though that I personally (as a guy who doesn't seek out kv ever) decided to stick it out and trust the author. its marked complete but does update occasionally, the story is far from done. tho this one is absolutely not for everyone so I repeat CURATE YOUR EXPERIENCE DOT JPG!!!!

i dont have a third one that is a particular favorite Right Now but ive read a handful of very good vashwood oneshots recently, interested parties can check out my bookmarks bc i save the ones i enjoy!! _(:3

12. How does receiving or not receiving support/feedback impact you?

immensely....... it's been said before but it really makes all the difference, especially for writers. we can’t monetize in the same way as artists so letting us know u enjoyed our work is The reward. I write original stuff as well which is more of a toiling in darkness type endeavor anyway, but im absolutely in fandom to connect and vibe with y'all and any and all feedback makes me more motivated to create new stuff. i do try to reply to every comment too to show my appreciation!! other interactions like replies/dms/qrts are equally treasured! 🫶

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

so many. soooooo many. it depends a little bit on the length of the fic and how long ive been working on it but like uh, at least ten? i dont necessarily recommend this because im sure its possible to be more efficient and intentional but i reread my wips at every stage on different devices to fix rhythm issues and "he would not say that" incidents so yea.

questions r here if anyone else wants to chat !!

#ask game #ya so. if u have an issue with me being able to perceive kv without making bad faith and baseless assumptions about the creator #then now u know to block me if u prefer!

[amandlas]

right at the borderline is where i'm gonna wait

tfota | jude x cardan, post-reconciliation, nsfw, the idiots get biblical. seriously. (ao3)

[give or take three years after qon. title from “meet me halfway” by black eyed peas]

The apple had been shiny. Decadent in gold, everything about it inhuman.

Jude inspected it with a slithering memory of it stuffing her nose, trickling down her cheeks. Back when Valerian was alive and planned to make a fool of her. How could something so beautifully venomous appear so harmless?

She was uncomfortably reminded of her twin sister. To shake away the thought she spoke.

“An apple doomed humanity.”

Cardan lifted a brow. His tail swept at his back, causing a small hissing noise. They were done with food, lounging at the table close and carefree, political matters long dealt with.

Jude scrunched her brows, trying to remember. “In some religions of mortals, the first man and woman were kicked out of heaven for eating an apple. Her, specifically.”

“Really?” he asked, intrigued.

She nodded. “Adam and Eve. They were meant to live in the garden of Eden but a devilish snake charmed Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.” She grabbed the faerie apple, lifted it for closer inspection. She could smell its sickly sweetness. “Then she convinced Adam to do the same.”

His face was full of amusement. “A snake.”

“A snake.” Jude placed the apple back on the platter. There was more, she knew there was, but her time in the mortal world was long past. “The devil in disguise, actually.”

He nodded as if in understanding. “Is that your creation?”

Jude felt stunned by the use of ‘your’. She shifted in her seat, moving her right leg so it was no longer in contact with his. This subject was bringing back memories forgotten or repressed for more than a decade. Crosses. Stars. Going to school, seeing churches on the way there through the car window. Thick books hidden in a drawer in every hotel room. Like anything mortal, religion had been ruined by Elfhame even if the Duartes had never been particularly devout. She found herself unable to move forward from this yet wanting to run away.

“Religion was never a strong verse of mine. Especially considering the age I came here.” The thought drifted off into silence. It was all she could say. Cardan had the decency to hold her gaze, to allow her this vulnerability without pity.

Her eyebrows scrunched again. “It must all sounds so…absurd to you.” She had to look away.

Cardan remained silent, his tail quiet at his back. He grabbed the apple and gave it a hard bite. Through juicy chunks he bid her, “What happened to them?”

For a handful of days, she told him here and there. Not much but the mere basics. Jude herself didn’t recall too well. She remembered the tale through Cardan. He asked, more intrigued than was to be expected, either for her favor or a genuine curiosity over human beliefs. She even managed to stop by a human library during a visit to Vivi’s, where she found and printed out a picture from the internet to show her husband. He saw a drawing of two naked people ambling by bushes of green and red. They had leaves between their legs and expressions of wonder. Of children. Jude still couldn’t pinpoint how to feel. It settled weird in her stomach, as she held up the tiny print out and Cardan squinted with an unreadable expression. To think that this was her beginnings. How faeries must’ve seen them. Standing in the shoes of an outsider, it made her feel more human than she felt in a long time.

She thought the subject to be blessedly forgotten, until a few days later.

Cardan was guiding her with hands over her eyes. The guards were called away, instructed not to interrupt them. Jude felt the pounding of her own heart up to her ears. She could sense and hear grass under her feet, smell leaves and moss. The place they were going to was warm.

“Why is it growing quieter?”

Cardan didn’t falter. “We’re moving deeper into the forest is why.”

“Will we run into wild animals? I remember studying the mountain lions-”

His chuckle cut her off. “No lions, Lady Devout Student. I found this place not too long ago, in the years prior to my ascension to the throne. It is quiet and secluded.” There was a pause. He stopped both in their tracks. “I’ll admit it was lonely. I was often lonely. At least here, the view was better than my chambers at Hollow Hall.”

Cardan removed his hands.

Jude huffed in a breath. She couldn’t appreciate being led blindly through the woods, but the sight before her took the words away.

It was a small bit of everything a human would expect of a fairytale. A nook in the woods, some place forgotten by the maps. There was an ample space surrounded by greenery. She could only describe it as a concealed meadow. The trees formed in a natural alcove, hugging the space into intimacy. Even the thin slices of sunlight creeping through leaves looked magical. And flowers. Those were everywhere. Their smell filled her nose, enticing like honey.

“There,” Cardan pointed.

It was an apple tree. Small and with only a few golden apples dangling from its branches. She did not know what to make of the metaphor.

“It’s…bewitching,” she told him.

He walked over to the tree. Pried a fruit off it. “I never showed this place to anyone.”

That simple sentence reached her heart. He walked over back to her.

“I was reminded of this place,” he began, “when you first told me the mortal creation story.”

Ah. Everything was clicking. Jude took a deep breath, inhaling with it the scent of the apple. “The garden of Eden was meant to be heavenly.” She smirked at him, lifting a brow. “This is presumptuous of you.”

His hand found her chin. “Presumptuous it may be. Conceited, even. Poetic, hopefully?”

It was endearing to see him this way. To allow him to care. She stepped closer, his loose linen white shirt brushing hers. She didn’t have a dramatic black coat over hers but that was attributed to his taste and her lack thereof. The black tint around his eyes was perfect.

“Am I supposed to fall hopeless to your faerie charms?” She stepped even closer, so close she pretended to clean lint off his coat.

His free hand fell to her hip. “Are they successful?”

She scoffed. “You fell for my foolish mortal wiles. Anything should be possible.”

With the hand holding the apple, he brushed some strands of hair out of her face. “Here I am, attempting to be elegiac.” He leaned down and planted a soft, deep kiss on her lips.

Jude allowed her eyes to close. She let herself be vulnerable, allowed him to lead. He kissed her again, still slow as if afraid she would turn and leave. When they pulled apart he was breathing heavy. Then he licked the skin of the apple, not quite biting it, while maintaining eye contact.

Her breathing hitched.

“Never have I been the doted student so correct me if I'm wrong.” His lips met her cheek, then the other. “I recall that Adam and Eve had but two rules.”

“Rules?”

He pulled back and rolled his eyes. “Expectations.”

Jude let out a laugh. “You’ve become a better student.” He’d become a better lots of things. “What rules?”

His one hand still gripped her waist. “The first was not to eat the apple. Which,” he threw his golden apple in the air and caught it again, “they failed.” He said it with a certain finality that fell ill on her belly.

Her eyes fell directly on the faerie fruit in his hand. It all suddenly swirled around in her head. Her humanity. The memory of being helplessly under its spell that school afternoon, and the memory of desiring more. How at that moment, at the raw experience of eating the single fruit she lost semblance of herself, her basest instinct of survival. It pushed her to act against her own self-interest, to destroy herself. Succulent and blissful it had been, but the cost of it was the fall. A beautiful fall, but a fall nonetheless.

She felt too close to Eve at that moment. A shudder ran down her body. Eve, the first mother, who many pointed to as the broken woman who cursed humankind. The single bite that ruined the world.

Cardan could tell she got lost in her head. He lowered his hand and brought her eyes to his. He demanded all her attention.

“I don't believe you are foolish.” He whispered it like a caress. “I never have.” He paused, gathering his thoughts and granting her the same courtesy. “My own prejudice blinded me, as yours did me equally.”

“You thought me an insect for so long.”

“And you thought me a monster.”

Some days it was hard to convince herself that either of them was wrong.

He let the fruit fall from his hand so he could cup her face fully.

“Adam and Eve are a whimsical tale but I would not call anyone naive for believing in it. Not you, if you did, or any other mortal. From a certain light it’s...innocent. Sweet.”

Jude scoffed, her heart lightened. “Sweet? The doom of humanity is sweet?”

He smiled at her laugh. “No. The intention of you. Residing in heaven, living in ignorant bliss with your love and your equal is what makes it sweet.”

At this she lifted a brow. He might be bringing some of his own interpretation to the tale. But gender relations and faith had always been different in Elfhame, so he knew no better. “Like I mentioned, I am not well-versed in the text. Some mortals would even call you wrong. But I suppose a story is to be made whatever the reader wishes to make it.”

“Here's what I make of this one.” And he pulled her into another hungrier kiss.

Jude could’ve almost laughed, as he tugged at her clothes and her fingers shed him of his trousers. Piece by piece, they rid the other of clothing. When air bit her bare skin, she jumped back without thinking. They were in public. They could be found.

Cardan studied her expression quickly, worried. He understood immediately. “The guards. I sent them off to a perimeter, remember? We are alone.”

Right. Tension left her muscles as her spine straightened again. She brought his body back to hers, only his shirt and socks left. She helped him with the first as he stepped out of the second.

“I cannot believe your biblical seduction worked.”

His fanciful smile flashed. Sparkling white teeth. “It is not finished yet.”

Part of her couldn’t believe it. “Frankly, it’s hard to fathom you could care so much.”

He ignored her, as they were now fully uncovered. Silently, he leaned forward and shook out her hair, fluffing it out in wild tangles. It was unlike her, aside from moments in training when her pleats came loose. His long fingers touching her scalp sent shivers everywhere in her body, and her eyes drooped. Jude’s brown hair was so long and fluffy it fell down streams past her shoulders, brushing the tops of her breasts and tickling her back. When Cardan appeared satisfied with the results, he stepped back to rake her all over. From crown to heel.

As naked as they had come into this world. Mortal and fae alike. There was a metaphor there.

“You forgot the second.” Cardan whispered this into her neck as he guided her down onto the floor.

“What?” It was hard to think.

“The second rule. You forgot to ask about it.” They settled on the pasture.

Part of her was so confused. Also annoyed. “Oh, you’re teaching now?”

He made a show of pinching the side of her ass. Jude yelped. He soothed her by nuzzling her nose with his.

“The first rule was not to eat the apple. Correct?”

This was so out of bounds but it had to be going somewhere. She nodded.

Her husband took a deep breath. Inhaling her in. Perhaps afraid of what he would say next. Of what Jude would think. “The second was to go forth and be fruitful.” His pale hand trailed her sides, skimming her hips. “To continue humanity.” His lips marked kisses on her clavicles, descending to her chest. “To have many,” a kiss to her sternum, “many,” another right above her belly button, “many children.” The last kiss was at her abdomen, his hands on either side of her stomach.

The air was knocked right out her lungs. Cold shocked her entire body, then in a flash she was hot all over.

She looked into his eyes. Cardan was calm, serene. He was upright now, leaning on one hand on the ground. His thumb drew circles on her hip. A part of him seemed resigned, as if ready for a blow. In that moment she felt his spirit as open as she had privilege to see very few times prior.

Jude trained her voice not to shake. “You wish to be fruitful, my husband?”

A long pause. They only stared at each other until Cardan leaned down to kiss her stomach again. “To try, certainly.”

She couldn’t find any words. Therefore she used her body instead. One hand cupped his face, gently, then the other. As if holding a delicate bird. His black crow eyes could tear her soul apart.

Half of her didn’t know what she was doing when her hands pulled him up, meeting his lips with hers. It was neither an answer nor a rejection. A response, the best she could give him for now.

Nevertheless he answered threefold. The High King refused to break apart until they were both gasping for air. A small smile adorned his face when he seductively muttered into her lips.

“Let us play like Adam and Eve. I’ll have you with leaves in your hair and grass beneath our backs.” He planted a kiss on her ear, nibbling. “The blue sky can be our witness.”

Her hand kept him where he was as she groaned. “You would play at a mortal amongst the dirt?”

Instead of celebrating her banter, he bit her harder. This time she hissed, and he moved lower.

“We,” Cardan mumbled on her skin, “are the only two beings in here.” Unable to lie, he couldn’t play along with their roles and say ‘in the world’. It had to be ‘in here’, in the alcove, yet she appreciated his way around it all the same. The sentiment remained. That sinful mouth floated over the skin of her belly. It traced a line falling low. Jude gasped when he teased the area above her center. Between her legs is where she wanted him, where he refused to go. A whimper escaped.

It made him look up. “There is no one else.” With that, his red tongue licked the bundle of nerves amidst her thighs.

Jude could only grip his hair, shut her eyes and moan. He drew circles, adding pressure that drew louder noises. When he took all of her into his mouth and sucked she started to scare the birds off the trees.

His hand, snake-like, slithered up her hip and to her breast, where he caressed and squeezed her. The other…it went to her center, aiding his lips, teasing. One finger, then two, and the tongue circling harder.

Jude couldn’t make sense of up from down to the point where her peak came in a waterfall without notice. It felt nothing short of natural. Her chest heaved, eyes closed and back arched. When Cardan withdrew his fingers they were soaked.

Pleased beyond sense, she only felt him work his way back up, align his chest to hers. Smother her neck with kisses while pushing her thighs apart with his knee.

“No one else,” he murmured against her throat.

Her eyes fluttered. “No one…”

He kneeled upward suddenly. Cardan reached for a flower, two, pink and bright from a bush next to her head. He threw off the stems, leaving only the petals and crushing those between his long hands. She was still busy riding her high to ask what the hell he was doing. Then he took what remained of the flowers and smeared it over her body. Across her chest, down to her stomach. She was glazed in petals. Everywhere he touched, she shuddered. Her body was a canvas in pink. Clinging to her skin, staining and perfuming her. Grass glued to her back and flower petals to her front, hair fanned out. It was the farthest from dirty she’d ever felt. His expression was hungry, reverential, and some other unreadable thing.

“Jude.”

She met his gaze. “Cardan.”

His hand went between their legs, and she felt the nudge at her entrance. Her breathing stopped.

He leaned down to touch noses, foreheads, to share breath. “We are primordial.”

He could not lie. He believed it, some part of him, some twisted explanation. She didn’t give herself time to ponder.

“Cardan.” Sliding into her was the easiest thing.

All thoughts died with a sigh.

Everything stilled. His eyelids fell shut, breath tickling her face. “There is only you and me.”

 Time went by oddly. Jude couldn't separate one coupling from the next. Something out of a fever dream or the drowsiness that follows a strong poison. She was overwhelmed with the primal nature of the story, by the pleasure in her body.

Cardan was thrusting into her from behind, both laying on the grass on their sides. Wet leaves stuck to his legs, to her hip. She was moaning, a fist of grass in her hand and a fist of her hair in his. He pulled, brought her closer. “My love,” he whispered in her ear.

Then she was straddling him. Moving up and down painfully slowly, torturous drags. She had his chin in her hands, powerful, forcing his eyes to hers. She was whispering, unrecalled heinous things she wouldn’t remember later. Only the feel of him inside and his hands on her hips.

That might have been the first hour. Or the second.

He was slamming into her. Jude was dizzy with the pace, strong and rhythmic. Her back was to an old tree, steadying her. Cardan kissed her breast. He was not going fast, focusing on going deeper. There were petals stuck to his chest now too, and some grass blades. The paint around his eyes was smudged. She yelped once. An evil smile formed on him, a smile that reminded her of taunts and tricks. His hands fell to her sides, one on her and one on the tree. His hips charged harder, making their pelvises meet and slightly pushing her up the tree. She squealed louder.

Jude was riding him again. She was on her front this time, facing away from him, each hand on his knees for support. Her hair was a mess; tiny stems and petals caught on the ends, the odd twig here and there. It was far from her priorities, though, or his. She even thought the ferality heightened his desire. At her back, Cardan hissed, grip on her waist as she impaled herself on him over and over. Slick sounds filled the meadow.

His tail whispered up her left side. The tuft coil slid around her throat, cutting off a groan, settling as a choker. “Oh,” was what she could manage. A particularly strong moan escaped Cardan. She rode him harder. Faster. Leveling her body so only her waist moved, keeping them close. Back and forth, back and forth, blinding her senses. She came again, as swiftly as an autumn breeze.

That was when he decided to push her forward. His tail stayed at her throat, tightening. She was on all fours, limbs trembling.

Cardan shifted into position behind. “On your knees, Your Majesty.”

It took a few gasps to gather a response. “Majesty? I thought I was Eve from the garden-” but the rest was gone to his thrusts. The grass under her hands was ripped off.

Where had their base necessities gone? For hours they wouldn’t stop to eat, to drink, only to rest for some heartbeats in between positions. A mere catching of the breath. Blue sky turned to pink, purple, to a reddish tint marking sundown. Jude thought the garden had truly driven them mad.

He was on top, eyes locked on hers. Jude sprawled on the ground with one leg horizontal and the other on his shoulder, his hand holding it close. She had one foot in the air and her thighs open wide. Anything but them, but the glistening sight of their joining ceased to exist.

She kept one hand at his hip, beckoning him forward, controlling the pace even with him moving above. It was a fantastic dynamic. Below him, she whispered praise and any unintelligible phrase that came to mind. “Just like that,” she’d say. “Right there. Harder. That’s better.” There was even a shaky “That feels perfect.” It only made him more dutiful. Then she noticed him looking at her breasts. How they bounced by the efforts of their movements.

“Touch them,” she commanded.

His hand went to one, fingers splayed wide, clutching.

“Harder than that.”

With a moan, he squeezed harder, sparking pain and pleasure through her nerves. Her limbs were aflame.

Skin met skin. The slaps were like a song, lulling her and encouraging him. Cardan took a glance at the place where he disappeared in her, again and again.

“You’re drenched.”

She had coated them both until their groins were wet.

Jude grasped his shoulders, snatching him to her, chests meeting. As close as they could be. In that liminal state, in that indescribable eternal in-between, she planted kisses on every inch of him.

“Love me.” She whispered in his ear, his hair, any reachable place. “Love me. Love me. Love me.”

 Their last thoughts blurred into oblivion.

There is only you.

There is only me.

 For now.

#jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jurdan #tfota #tfotaedit #it says post-qon but theres no spoilers i swear i dont even have the book #its for the timeline #this is Very different to what ive done before so tread...carefully #if youre not into religious discussion look tf away #nicky writes #mine:tfota

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The 25,913 Times Aspik Couldn’t Save Ladybug - chapter two

Time loops 4-9, read it on AO3!

I did the maths and if I want to finish writing this fic in under 5 years, I’ll have to average writing at least 15 loops per day. Yeah, that’s not happening. So I guess this fic is gonna take me like 50 years to write, and to be honest, I’m fine with that.

iv.

 This time, Adrien was more cautious. He couldn’t let himself become distracted and forget to protect Ladybug. They were a team, after all! They had to look out for each other. If he was too busy cuddling up with her to defend against Desperada, well, that was his fault then. He was determined not to let it happen again.

Ladybug was speaking to him, but he barely listened. He’d heard it all before already. Not even waiting for her to finish, he took her hand and began walking down the tunnel, turning a different way at the end to what they had done last time. A new path was their best bet at staying safe.

“Adrien?” Ladybug was saying, surprised. “What happened? Shouldn’t we wait for Chat Noir?”

Aw, she still wanted him to be with them. Well, other him. But he shook his head. “This is the fourth time, Ladybug. He didn’t show up the other times so there’s no point waiting.”

“You mean you already went back in time four times?”

“Three, technically...”

“What happened?”

He could barely turn his head back to look her in the eye, guilt creeping up his insides. “I couldn’t protect you. You got hit by Desperada.”

Her eyes widened.

“But I won’t let it happen this time,” he said quickly. “I won’t be so careless. We’ll defeat her this time, you’ll see.”

She smiled. “You’re right Adrien...”

“Call me Aspik.”

“Oh! Aspik – that’s a nice superhero name!”

He willed himself not to blush, and looked forward again to look for any sign of exit. Surely they must be far enough away from Desperada now.

There! Another ladder to an exit. A much safer route, hopefully.

 -

 Out on the surface again, Adrien kept a close eye out for Desperada. Ladybug seemed to sense it, and she too behaved a little more cautiously – keeping low to the ground, eyes darting from side to side, light tread.

It was all for nothing.

As they passed under an archway, Desperada was waiting for them on the other side and shot Ladybug.

Oh for goodness’ sake!

Adrien hid back behind the arch as quick as he could. “Not again!!”

How had that even happened? They were being careful that time! And yet somehow Desperada had managed to catch them unawares!

No, that time had been bad luck. It was neither of their faults. There had been no silly flirting, no getting distracted, no flowers, no hugs. Just the two of them carefully creeping around, the way Adrien often did with her as Chat Noir.

So how unlucky could they have been for this to happen?

It was just so fast. It had happened before he could even react. Not even time to blink.

This whole thing, really, so fast paced – why couldn’t the bracelet have a 10 minute limit, instead of 5? That would make things a lot easier, or at least give him a moment to rest.

But as it was, he had no time to rest at all. Desperada was right round the corner from him, and he was probably next up on her hit list. He couldn’t stay here.

Flicking the bracelet, he went back in time.

 -

 v.

 Back to the beginning once more.

“We now have five minutes–”

“I know, and this is the fifth time,” he said.

“What?”

“This is the fifth time I'm trying this. We already failed the last four times.”

Ladybug covered her mouth in surprise. “We failed? What happened?”

“You... you kept getting hit by Desperada,” Adrien admitted, as painful as it was to say. “I couldn't prevent it.”

“So you must have been fighting non-stop for almost 15 minutes now...” She smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Don't worry though. Every time you reset, so do your energy levels. From what I know about it, you could keep resetting for days and not even need to eat or sleep!”

Adrien involuntarily recoiled in shock. Ladybug quickly backtracked and laughed it off.

“Not that you'll be stuck resetting for days, of course! Haha, no way... We'll do it this time. You must have learnt from what we did last time that failed, right? Now we can do it properly. Just lead the way!”

Adrien glanced down at the bracelet. The two of them had already been talking for a fair amount of time, standing here for longer than they had done in the other loops. There wasn't all that much time left. But then again, rushing into things wasn't the best course of action – and they couldn't rely on blind luck either, or Desperada would get them every time.

“Maybe it's better to think things through and form a plan,” he suggested. “Like you always do.”

She beamed at him. “Are you a fan of me?”

“Of course I am! Who isn't?”

“Aw Adrien, that's so sweet...”

“Call me Aspik.”

He had said it a few times already by now, and he hadn't yet tired of seeing the look of delight on her face. No matter how many times he had to reset, he was pretty sure he would be sticking with this name.

There were footsteps from behind them. Adrien tensed up, wondering how Desperada could possibly have got down here so quick – until he heard a familiar voice, and one that definitely wasn't Desperada.

“Ladybug?”

They both turned to see that it was none other than Luka Couffaine, who Adrien had put safely inside a locker ages ago.

Well no, not ages ago – barely five minutes ago. But having gone through four resets already, it had certainly felt like ages. Anyway, what was this boy doing wandering around during an akuma attack?!

“It's dangerous to be here, you should go hide somewhere!” Adrien said.

“I came out to look for Adrien,” Luka said, walking up to him and Ladybug. “I thought he was hiding with me but I don't know where he went... Did you find him, Ladybug?”

Adrien already knew what it felt like to be standing right in front of someone who didn't recognize him – it happened all the time with Chat Noir. But it was surreal to experience it as Aspik too.

“Don't worry about that,” Ladybug said quickly. “Aspik is right – you should hide. It may not be safe here.”

For a few seconds Luka just stared at Adrien – well, “Aspik" – almost frowning slightly. Then his mouth dropped open. “Adrien? Is that you?”

Wait, what?!

“Of course not!” he gabbled. “I’m Aspik, and I - I've never heard of Adrien Agreste in my life–”

Luka was not looking even remotely convinced. But come on! It was so easy to hide his identity as Chat Noir! Why was he so bad at doing it as Aspik?

And how the hell had Luka worked it out?!

“I won't tell anyone,” Luka promised. “It's just that Ladybug was looking for Adrien, and now you're here, and you sound kind of like him, and... I'll keep it a secret, I won't tell...”

“Oh, you won't get a chance to tell,” Ladybug said, hands on her hips inannoyance. “Aspik, reset the loop.”

Adrien looked at her. “What, now? We haven't tried to defeat Desperada yet!”

“There's no point. Your identity has to stay a secret. Reset the loop, and next time don't talk to Luka!”

Right, right, made sense...

“What time loop?” Luka asked.

Hey, he was going to forget it in a few seconds, no point keeping it from him. “I can reset back to the time I first activated my power,” Adrien explained, holding up his wrist to show Luka the bracelet. “You won't remember any of it. And neither will Ladybug.”

Ladybug nodded. “That's right. Next time, perhaps we should leave this tunnel sooner so that we don't bump into Luka. How about that way?” She pointed up at the ladder beside her, but Adrien shook his head.

“Desperada's waiting up there with a sniper weapon. She'll spot us, and you'll get hit again. We've already tried some of the other tunnel exits too. I guess we'll have to just keep looking for new exits and hoping that one's our lucky break...”

“Well you have a better idea than me, so use it to your advantage. Next time we'll do it right!”

Luka looked as if he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut as he often did. That guy always seemed to know when was the right time to speak up and when to be quiet. Right now, with not much time left on the bracelet, talking much more wasn't going to accomplish anything.

Adrien gave the two of then a quick nod, then flicked the bracelet.

 -

 vi.

 Materializing in front of Ladybug again, Adrien didn't waste any time. He took her arm and began running down the tunnel. “We have to get away from here before Luka shows up, or he'll figure out my identity!”

Ladybug immediately worked out what was going on. “Is that what happened last time?”

“Yep. And we need to find an exit we haven't used before. Desperada has a scope on her weapon and can see a huge distance away, plus she's up on the Eiffel Tower. We have to find somewhere she won't see us. Just follow me.”

“Of course, Adrien...”

“And call me Aspik!”

He couldn't help grinning. How many times by now had he told her to call him Aspik? Hopefully he'd never tire of it.

But even as he turned his attention back to the matter at hand, his mind began to wander. After all, it had been 20 minutes or so, and staying focused for so long was starting to take a toll on his brain, even if his “energy levels" did reset along with the timeline.

How did Ladybug know all of that about the snake, anyway? The Guardian had probably told her. He seemed to tell her a lot of things. But then again, how would anyone know about the energy levels resetting, unless... unless someone had physically experienced it before?

Adrien shuddered. To think that someone, at some point in history, had used these powers and failed over and over, so many times that it lasted longer than an entire day for them, and they didn't even need to eat or sleep, they just had to keep endlessly trying until they succeeded in their task...

That sounded like the worst kind of torture.

Heck, even five resets was getting tedious enough. Adrien very much hoped that this would be over soon. He did not want to have to go through an entire day of this. He already knew how to be a superhero so surely there was no way it could take anywhere near that long.

Right?

 -

 They clambered out of a new exit this time, Adrien making sure that they were out of sight of the Eiffel Tower first. It seemed to be deserted for now – good.

As they hid behind a car, Ladybug seemed to be moving in to lean against him again, like she had done a few loops ago behind the bus. Reluctantly, Adrien moved away. As much as he would just love to hold her that close again, he couldn't let himself be distracted. And he couldn't let Ladybug be distracted either!

“Did Desperada always attack from the Eiffel Tower?” Ladybug whispered.

“No, sometimes she's been down here on the street.”

“So... she could be anywhere?”

Adrien nodded. Ladybug stepped forward and stood in front of him, yoyo spinning round in preparation.

“I'll protect you, don't worry,” she said, her voice filled with determination.

“But it's supposed to be me protecting you! You're the one who's been hit every time...”

“That's a good thing! If I get hit, you can always reset everything and try again. But what would I do if you got hit? That would be the end of things! It's good that she keeps going for me first. It always gives you a chance to escape.”

Huh... she was right. And that intense look she was giving him, it was enough to melt him on the spot...

“Don't worry about a thing, Aspik. I will always protec–”

She didn't get to finish. From up on the roof of the building, Desperada shot her.

Adrien leapt right back down the hole into the sewer tunnel, barely stopping to think.

Come on... again??? This was ridiculous!

“Having fun there?”

Oh, and Plagg was here too, watching all that. Adrien had almost forgotten about him, having not seen him for a few loops in a row now.

“I got unlucky, I just need more time,” he replied.

“How many times will you get unlucky?”

“None. I'll do it next time.”

Plagg yawned. “If you say so...”

Conscious that Desperada might follow him down here at any moment, Adrien flicked the bracelet.

 -

 vii.

 “We now have five minutes–”

Adrien ignored her and pulled her down the tunnels again, trying to remember which direction he had gone in last time so that he could try somewhere else now. If only he had done this consistently from the start! Had he gone left here, or right? It was starting to blur together a bit in his memory.

As they ran, he decided it might be worth explaining a few things. “Ladybug, Desperada is excellent at tracking us down and keeps hitting you before I can do anything about it. Chat Noir never shows up. If Luka sees me, he'll recognize me as Adrien. But you can call me Aspik.”

“Aspik... that's a lovely name!”

The blood rushed up to his cheeks before he could stop it, and he almost didn't care. The most important thing for now was finding a way to defeat Desperada, not hiding his huge crush on Ladybug!

“Desperada aims for you, not me,” he continued. “That's why I keep surviving.”

“Well that's a good thing! And it's because she needs my earrings, to give them to Hawk Moth, whereas she doesn't know who you are...”

That much was true. No matter what else happened, Adrien could count on the fact that Desperada would always attack Ladybug first. After all, she had no idea that Adrien could reset it whenever he wanted. So she would leave him alone and go for Ladybug, meaning he would always be able to escape...

It was honestly so weird being the survivor for once. He couldn't even count how many times he had sacrificed himself for Ladybug back as Chat Noir – those times, it was Ladybug who needed to stay in action at all costs. He was usually the “expendable" one. Having it be the other way round now, well... it didn't feel good.

And watching Ladybug being hit over and over didn't feel good either...

He had made his promise, though, his promise to keep trying until he could get it right. No matter what it took. He had vowed to protect Ladybug, and he wouldn't break that vow for anything.

 -

 Up on the surface, they were in a much smaller alleyway to the side of the main road now. Thank goodness. There was way more cover here, they were far less likely to be ambushed.

“Now what?” Ladybug asked. “Any plans on how to defeat Desperada?”

Adrien held up his weapon. “Well I have this lyre thing, I could throw it like a boomerang at her...”

Ladybug chuckled. “Good idea! Have you tried it yet?”

“No, I haven't had a chance, since Desperada keeps finding us before we can find her...”

“Hmm. We need to think of a way to track her down. That way it's us who’ll have the element of surprise!”

“Yeah!”

He suddenly noticed with alarm that their voices had been creeping up in volume, emboldened by their hiding spot undercover. It was only the fact that his words were echoing around between the walls that warned him how loud they were being – and once again, it was too late.

As soon as Adrien spotted Desperada at the end of the alleyway, he didn't even watch as Ladybug was vaporized. He simply rolled his eyes and flicked the bracelet.

 -

 viii.

 No paying attention, as usual he grabbed Ladybug's arm and ran. There was no time for anything else.

Which way was it again? This way? That way? He had been here just a few minutes ago, but all these tunnels looked the same!

“Eighth time,” he muttered to Ladybug.

“You've reset eight times already?!”

“Seven times, technically.”

For several seconds she was stunned into silence, before finally thinking of something to say. “Well, uh, eight's a lucky number, right?”

“So is seven and we still failed that one...”

She didn't ask him any further questions, opting to just quietly follow him. Did he sound frustrated? Yeah, he probably did. He was frustrated! But he hoped that she realized that he wasn't frustrated at her, no, far from it. If anything, it was himself he was mad at. For failing so much. He was mad at Desperada too, for winning every time so far.

And most of all, he was mad at Hawk Moth for putting them into this stupid situation in the first place!

 -

 Up on the surface, instead of staying in one place and hiding, they ran down the street as fast as they could. At least this way they wouldn't be sitting ducks.

“So what happened the first seven times?” Ladybug asked him as they ran, seeming genuinely curious.

Where to even begin? “Desperada killed you a bunch, Luka found out my identity, the–”

“Wait wait wait – I DIED?!”

“Well no, she didn't actually kill you! She hit you and you got trapped in her – her – her thing that she's trapping everyone in...”

What was the word? His brain... oh god, his brain was getting sluggish, he had been on-edge for far too long. He tried to do the mental calculation in his head to figure out how long it had been. Come on, 7 × 5, it wasn't that hard...

“35!” he said in triumph.

“Uh... what?”

“35 minutes so far I've spent in the loops. Assuming about 5 minutes per loop, that is. Though some of them maybe took less time than that.”

“Um... right.”

Ladybug was still frowning at him as if he was slightly crazy, and to be honest, yelling out random numbers in the middle of the street probably did give off that effect. But hey, his head was starting to buzz from being stuck in this stressful situation for over half an hour now. Some maths was just what he needed to keep his wits sharp.

And clearly his wits were currently very blunt, because he didn't even notice Desperada aiming a shot at Ladybug until it was too late.

No! Not again!

He darted behind a nearby car, temper rising. He really thought they'd get away this time, or at least have some time to actually think and make a plan together! But no...

Ugh. Desperada was going to haunt his dreams tonight, he was sure of it.

Before Plagg could pop up and start making snide comments again, Adrien flicked the bracelet.

 -

 ix.

 “I know, I know, we now have five minutes,” Adrien huffed. Ladybug clapped her hands with glee.

“You can read my mind!”

“No, it's just that this is the ninth time I'm hearing you say it.”

Her face fell. “So we've already failed several times?”

“Yep.”

Her eyes were downcast. “Was it... was it my fault?”

“What? No! No way, of course not!” He tried to smile at her, as much of a bad mood as he was in. “Sorry if I sound annoyed, I'm just... I'm not mad at you, I promise.”

“Just frustrated at failing a lot?”

“Heh, seems like you're the one who can read my mind.”

She returned his smile. “Well we'll try to do better this time, Adrien.”

“Call me Aspik.”

“Aspik? Oh, that's a wonderful name for a superhero!”

He grinned for real this time. Then he looked down at the bracelet ticking away on his wrist – Luka would probably show up shortly, and he couldn't have that! He grabbed Ladybug's arm and ran with her through the tunnels.

Along the way, he tried to do some mental maths to keep himself occupied, since these drab sewer walls weren’t doing anything to keep him entertained. How many resets in an hour? A day? A week? A month?

 -

 They were out on the surface again before he triumphantly yelled out the answers.

“12! 288! About 2,000! About 9,000!”

“Shhh!” Ladybug pulled him behind a nearby van. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m bored,” he admitted. “I worked out that 12 resets takes me about an hour, 288 resets takes me a day–”

“Shhh,” she said again, though more gently this time, putting a finger to his lips. “It won’t take us that long. Okay?”

As much as his brain hadn’t been fully functioning before, it certainly wasn’t fully functioning right now, when she was doing that to him... Did she know what an effect it had?

Reluctantly, he pushed her hand away. This was no time for distractions. “Ladybug, if I keep this up I think I might go nuts...”

“You won’t need to! We’ll defeat Desperada this time!”

There was a maniacal cackle from somewhere behind them. “OH WILL YOU?”

Adrien turned just in time to see Ladybug shot right through the heart yet again.

Desperada’s laughter was ringing in his ears. He didn’t even move, he simply flicked the bracelet once more, cursing her under his breath.

Well, if this was going to keep happening, he was going to get extremely bored extremely fast. If he wanted to actually defeat Desperada then he needed new ideas.

He needed to get creative.

Closing his eyes as time rewound around him, he allowed himself a little smile.

From here on, anything went. No need to be sensible or professional about it. After all, if they failed then no one would remember it, right? And if they didn’t fail then, well, Ladybug would be proud of him for coming up with something crazy that actually worked.

Yeah. Now things were gonna get interesting.

#miraculous ladybug #ladrien #adrien agreste #random stuff #aish writes #25913

[hotshotshitshow]

Please tell me more about Bushrod. I’m suddenly very curious about her. What was her earlier life like and how did she become the Bushrod she is today?

ok i feel somewhat rested enough now. i am sorry for making you wait!! but honestly thank you, anyone ever asking me ANYTHING about my characters puts me over the moon

admittedly i still only have the bare bones of her like whole life worked out, i struggle a lot with details unfortunately so it may appear vague but heres what i got:

she was born to a highly religious family somewhere in the ozarks…. i am not sure which state yet because i am sure there are cultural differences within the ozarks from state to state that i would like to learn more about first. 

her family mostly kept to themselves and were very strict in their ways, and i have debated for a while whether or not they all would have been cannibalistic and somewhat like the real-life sawney bean clan, or if cannibalism was a fucked up practice she took up on her own later in her life. anyway she would have had several brothers and sisters and i havent decided which order of birth she was.

she would have been highly encouraged to join the military as she got older and spent a few years there. this is a part of her life i have been very hesitant about because i feel like there are certain things i need to really think about and tread carefully with. 

anyway it would have been an experience i think that she would come away from having a different understanding of the world than what she grew up with and it would be a turning point in her life …. this is definitely where she would start to question her religion as well as a lot of her understanding in how the government operates. she may or may not have lost her legs during this time, still unsure

i feel that as she tries to figure out her place in the world post-military service, she would be very very disillusioned with what is expected of her by society and how she sees things operate …. and definitely come to a conclusion that there is no god and that she was definitely used by the american government to further its own agenda and have an epiphany moment in which she realizes that that is pretty much the backbone of society, that everyone around her is only seen as useful if they can further the agenda of government/corporate america .

i feel like at this time a lot of internalized anger and hatred would come bubbling out and it would become her main goal in life to live only as she wants and to refuse to bend to anyone else unless it is by her own call, which includes regarding all laws and societal expectations as optional

She went on to meet griselda and got into a lot of illegal outlaw shenanigans, lots of hard drugs and killing, formed a motorcycle gang together, and lived a violent and hedonistic life pretty hard for several years before [redacted] and she at long last ended up in prison and spent several years there (ive outlined a timeline for this part of her life before that has the exact years and stuff but im not gonna dig that up right now) she eventually forcibly got herself out of that and ran to the west coast of the states to [redacted] . this paragraph is vague vague vague on purpose

at this point she’s pretty much been lying low for a few years and doesnt go out of her way to draw a lot of attention to herself in order to further evade the law and stay off the radar of [redacted]. In the meantime she has settled down and integrated herself into vicky’s life, which is a situation she never thought she would find herself in and is enjoying far more than she ever thought she would. She’s never envisioned herself as the type to get domestic but life is full of unexpected events i guess

Thats about as much as i can give away right now before shit gets too spoilery. she has toned down a lot from how she used to be tbh but she still eats people from time to time on the downlow. a know that a lot of the energy and anger she had when she was younger is still there in her but as of right now, she is relatively “tame.” what im saying is she’s pretty much a time bomb

vicky knows very very little of any of this, she only really knows that bushrod is from the south and was a part of the military when she was younger. bushrod has been intentionally vague with her about a lot of things because she knows it would almost definitely shatter her relationship if vicky knew some of the shit she’s done

Bless you if you actually read all this lmao

#bushrod #southern rockers

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

Bad Blood - Chapter 12

You can read it on AO3 or find the Tumblr Chapter Index here. 

___________________

The little piece of the puzzle that Peter has been missing all these years almost bleeds out on the dusty floor of a warehouse in Fisher Street. The boy that Peter vaguely remembers helping his mother in the garden of John Stilinski’s house is older now, but only a teenager, and he’s pale and shaking and his t-shirt is soaked in blood when Peter lifts him up and carries him to the car.

A hunter.

The boy is a hunter.

Laura drives.

Peter sits in the back with the boy, his fingers pressed tightly against his throat. The boy’s heartbeat is tachy, and he’s losing heat.

Deaton meets them at the clinic, wearing sweatpants and a faded ASPCA t-shirt with a three-quarter tear in the side. Peter realises he’s lost track of time tonight. Is it midnight? It  must be getting close. It’s past Deaton’s bedtime, clearly.

“How was Mexico?” Peter asks, carrying the boy inside.

“I only got back three hours ago,” Deaton says. “You’re lucky I didn’t stop and enjoy the atmosphere.”

“Not as lucky as this guy here.”

“I wouldn’t call him lucky yet,” Deaton says when Peter deposits the boy on the examination table in the back room of the clinic. “He’s lost a lot of blood.”

“Can you give him more?” Peter asks.

Deaton levels him with a stare. “I’m not in the habit of keeping bags of human blood in my veterinary clinic, Peter.”

But he does have plasma, it turns out, and hooks the boy up to a bag of that while he stitches his throat.

“If he goes into cardiac arrest, you’re only choice is to get him to a hospital,” Deaton says as he works. “I’m not equipped for that here.”

If he goes into cardiac arrest, Peter thinks, their only choice is to bury him in a shallow grave and pretend this never happened, but he hopes it doesn’t come to that.

Deaton works fast at stitching the boy’s wound. And then, when he’s done, he sits down in a chair beside the examination table, jabs an IV into his arm, and connects the tube to the IV in the boy’s wrist.

“You’re lucky I’m type O,” he says mildly, and settles in to wait.

Peter goes into the back room to wash up.

The water is blasting in the sink when he senses Laura behind him. Peter tugs his bloody shirt off and tosses it into the sink before turning around.

Laura leans in the doorway. “Are you going to tell us what the hell is going on? First you cut his throat—something I’m totally okay with, by the way, given what happened to Scott—and now you’re rushing to save his life?”

“You wouldn’t remember, probably,” Peter says. He folds his arms across his chest.

“Remember what?”

“It was after the fire,” Peter said. “Everything was a mess, and I was still puzzling over why Stilinski had helped me and Matty get out.”

Laura presses her mouth into a tight line and nods.

“Or more to the point, I suppose, why he helped us that night and since then he’s looked at me like he wants to personally murder me.”

Laura snorts at that.

“Yes, it’s true that’s hardly an uncommon reaction in people,” Peter acknowledges. “Anyway, it’s funny how memory works, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that when people around town talk about our dear sheriff, they always say the same thing,” Peter says. “They always say what a shame it is that his that his wife died and he sent his son away to live with family. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?”

Laura shakes her head slightly, a questioning look on her face.

“His wife died two years before the kid was sent away, Lulu,” Peter says.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it doesn’t quite fit,” Peter says frankly. “And I think it’s time I had a little talk with John Stilinski.”

***

John Stilinski’s house is in darkness. Peter’s claws make short work of the lock on the kitchen door, and he lets himself silently into the house. He treads carefully up the stairs, listening for John’s heartbeat. It’s slow and steady: he’s asleep.

Peter leans in the bedroom doorway and watches him for a moment.

Stilinski is asleep on his side, facing the door, with one arm jammed under the pillow. He looks a different man asleep. He hardly looks dangerous at all.

Peter flicks the light on. “You said you weren’t a hunter anymore,” he says. “But your son is.”

Stilinski is awake instantly, a hand reaching for his bedside table.

“Don’t,” Peter says. He’s certain there’s a weapon there. “I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to talk.”

Stilinski squints at him, and slowly sits up. “Why are you wearing an ASPCA t-shirt, Hale? Are you being ironic?”

“I borrowed it off a friend,” Peter says. “My own clothes were a mess. Want to know why?”

That stills the man. He looks at Peter warily. “I don’t know. Do I?”

“I found a little hunter tonight,” Peter says.

Stilinski doesn’t take the bait, but Peter hears his heart beat faster.

“Six years ago you saved my life,” Peter says. “Mine, and my nephew’s. You said you weren’t a hunter anymore, but your son is, isn’t he?”

Stilinski swings his legs over the side of his bed and plants his feet on the floor. “What do you know?”

“I want to know why you let the Argents raise your child to be a killer.”

“Let?” Stilinski growls, and shakes his head. “I didn’t fucking let them do anything. I saved you the night of the fire, and Kate Argent saw me do it. They took my son to punish me.” He raises his voice, and the raw pain in his tone makes Peter’s chest ache. “My son is not a hunter, he’s a fucking hostage!”

It’s the truth.

Peter knew it before he came here, he supposes, because it’s the only scenario that fits. He remembers glimpsing the boy in the garden with his mother. He remembers watching Stilinski come home, his face breaking out into a wide grin as the kid yelled in delight and ran to him. Stilinski’s family was his life. Whatever else he was, they were his life.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks. “We could have—”

“Could have what?” Stilinski demands, snorting. “A decimated pack with an untried baby alpha. There’s nothing you could have done to help me, even if you’d wanted to. And if Gerard got wind of it, it’d be Stiles who paid.”

“I thought you hunters had a council.”

“I was already a traitor,” Stilinski says. “There wouldn’t be a single member of the council who’d side against Gerard Argent when it came to me.”

“Because you left,” Peter says quietly.

“I left,” Stilinski echoes, his voice hollow.

“Some time tonight,” Peter says, “you’re going to get a call about a body found in the woods.” He holds up his palms. “It’s not Stiles. It’s a boy called Scott McCall. He was bitten by a rogue alpha a few weeks ago, and we brought him into the pack. The Argents killed him tonight.”

“Oh, Jesus.” Stilinski rubs a hand over his eyes. “McCall? Melissa’s boy?”

“I don’t know his mother’s name.”

“She’s a nurse,” Stilinski says. “At Beacon Hills General.”

“Yes,” Peter says softly. “He said she was a nurse.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Peter said. “But the Argents chased him into the Preserve and killed him. We were too late to save him, but we did catch one of them. Stiles.”

Stilinski looks at him sharply.

“He’s hurt,” Peter says. “I think he’s going to make it, but I’m no doctor.”

He watches as Stilinski’s hands flex into fists and back again. Stilinski blinks, and his eyes shine with tears.

“Come on,” Peter says. “I’ll take you to him.”

It’s the very least he can do.

***

Stiles is still unconscious when Peter and Stilinski arrive at the animal clinic. Deaton is no longer attached to him via an IV. He’s cleaning up.

Derek is lurking in the corner, staring at Stiles like he doesn’t know what to make of him. Peter can’t blame him for that, and Derek doesn’t even know the full story yet. Because Stiles is a victim of the Argents, but he’s also their tool. The Argents stole a boy, but there’s no question they’ve turned him into a killer. Just because he was kidnapped doesn’t make him less dangerous.

John Stilinski’s face crumples when he sees his son for the first time in six years.

“Mieczysław,” he murmurs.He steps forward, and curls his fingers around Stiles’s wrist. Then he stares at the bandage taped over the stitches on his throat. “Who did this?”

“I did,” Peter says. “Because they just killed one of ours, and I thought he was an Argent.”

Stilinski’s stare is hard, but he jerks his chin in a nod. An acknowledgement, Peter hopes, that there’s no place for blame here. “And who stitched him up?”

“That was me,” Deaton says. “I’m not micro-surgeon, but I have a few healing spells that I hope have made up the difference.”

“You’re a druid.”

“Yes,” Deaton says.

“He’ll live?” Stilinski asks.

Deaton nods. “Yes.”

Peter releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He lets himself out of the examination room and finds Laura lurking in the hallway outside.

“It’s because of me,” he says. “They took his son because he helped me and Matty.”

Laura’s eyes grow wide, and she reaches out and clenches his hand tightly. “Oh, Peter!”

“You saw him,” Peter says. “In the warehouse…”

He can’t finish the thought. That boy is a hunter. He’d been willing to die for the cause. He’d barely flinched when Peter’s claws had dug into his throat, because that’s what he was trained to do. He was trained to die without speaking a word against the Argents.

Jesus.

Does he even know he’s a hostage?

Six years ago John Stilinski saved Peter’s life, and he and his son have been paying for it ever since.

“We need to make this right,” Peter says.

“How?” Laura asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t know that.”

“Deaton said that Calaveras are willing to listen.” Laura squeezes his hand. “They’re willing to let him present our case to them, and they might take it to the council.”

It’s a faint glimmer of hope, Peter knows, but he’ll take it. It doesn’t protect them from the Argents, but it might stop other hunters from coming after them if they act to remove the threat.

“We need them to know that Scott never lost control,” Peter says. “He never harmed an innocent, but the Argents killed him anyway.”

Laura nods. “So we’re justified in moving against them?”

“Justified?” Peter exhales heavily. “That’ll be a long bow for the hunters to draw, won’t it? But it’s all we’ve got.”

And then, from inside the examination room, Peter hears a crash as something metal hits the floor, and all hell breaks loose.

#sterek #steter senior #my fics #bad blood #discontentedwinter

[pchangposts]

a melancholic realization.

its about 12 am on a saturday night and i hadnt received a single snap, text message, or fb message today. as i watch all my friends having fun with each other via their social media, it starts to dawn on me where my place in their lives is. ive always been envious of people who have some tight group of friends they can always rely on to hang out with and just have fun together casually. i feel like i was always the kid that people knew and was friends with, but i was never really included in like a “best friend” type of group where people would just hit me up and ask to hang out. that was until i joined PBL and everyone was constantly asking to hang. even though i was introverted, it felt nice to be a part of a tight friend group for once. and then i took that for granted when i started to join APO. 

all of a sudden i started a new friend group with my $ fam and before i knew it, i had drifted away from my old PBL fam. even in their social media stories today, i see them hanging out all the time, going to events together, grabbing routine dinners with each other. part of me thinks, what if i had just stuck with PBL. would i have been included in all these close friend group routines? i definitely do miss these friends right now but at the time i joined APO, i didnt much care about these thoughts because i felt so happy and tight with my APO fam/friends. hung out everyday, went to events together, could hang out with anyone at any given time. yeah, i was happy. I developed some of my closest relationships during APO and im grateful for it. i guess i just wish that it lasted even after college. i see all of them hanging with each other in their stories, with my self absent and uninvited. i appreciate the times i do get invited to big parties or events that are thrown, but at the same time, it feels like those might be the only things i may be invited to in the future. they all celebrate birthday meals with each other and just from simple stuff like that, i just miss being able to casually hang out with them. but i know i have no right to impose myself on stuff they dont feel the need to invite me to, i get it. life after college, definitely gets lonely. it was a lot easier with my roommates in oakland right after college. they were fun, inviting, and very easy to get along with. after they moved out i think i just felt that a part of me left with them. i definitely miss them a lot. i love my roommates right now too, but at the same time, i feel as though i have to tread carefully and hold in a lot of my thoughts. just recently, i was scolded for saying my first thought (which i thought was a very trivial one at that). i felt bad and so now, i feel as though i dont want to say anything as to not start any trouble. i want to be able to hang out with the roomies but theyre all so busy, i feel the house is empty half the time. i find myself alone in my room for periods of time, hoping for someone to message me to hang out or even grab a simple bite to eat. but im starting to lose all these connections and i start to receive fewer and fewer messages every day from people. and its making me think: maybe my time up here in Bay Area is over? anytime someone asks me when i would consider moving back to SoCal, i always proudly tell them, “in several years, when all my friends in SF have moved away”. maybe i was naive thinking that “moving away” had to be a physical connection. i now realize, its more of an emotional connection and if i were to move back to LA, probably no one would rly care? i wish it were as simple as that but unfortunately, i have no one back in SoCal to return to either. everyone in high school had cast me out like a loner and an outcast. that was part of the reason i was excited to move to berkeley for school for a fresh start. guess everything came full circle huh. definitely the one friendship i regret losing the most would be with serena. she was a loyal friend and one i could count on. i just wish i hadnt taken it for granted. i wish i hadnt taken all of these friendships for granted. saw some quote somewhere “i wish there was a way to know youre in the good ol days, before youve actually left them”. maybe if i knew that, i couldve done something different to maintain my relationships with friends. 

lol or maybe im just being super angsty right now because im taking accutane, which are meds known to cause depression. which is ironic cause im taking the meds since i was self conscious and depressed about my acne and it helped get rid of my acne. but yeah, id say if you were to ask me if i was happy with life, i could quite confidently tell you no. ive lost a lot of the meaningful connections with my friends, and it only gets harder to make new ones as you grow older. im not really sure what to do with myself and i dont know how im gonna survive. but watching some throwbacks on Disney Plus is at least helping a little bit. i hope i can be happy again one day. i hope i can read this in a couple years and be able to tell myself, youre gonna be ok. 

#personal

[myinnerwasteland]

Fuck

I hate my mum so fucking much. I shouldn't but I feel it. I’m just so fucking mad because she’s she. I fucking fuck o my god I just arghhhhhgggggfhshgskwwj fucking ARGHHGGGGGGGGHHHHHH the fuck she make me do things? Why the fuck does whatever she say to me piss me off this much. I don’t give a shit about her words and constant nonsense about the same shit okay! And why the fuck does she drag something on for so long?! You can always always always fucking see I’m in the middle of some shit. Whether it’s tv or fucking all set to leave the house. Yet you’ll fucking talk and keep me from it. And I always try so fucking hard to just stand or sit there and hear your fucking shit I don't wanna hear. I don’t listen. I just hear bc that’s all I can naturally do. Seriously the shit she talks about with me doesn’t ever interest me and Ive no energy or will for it. I just wanna go on about my life and never be stopped for a minute. I have my own wars beefing me in here already. I barely fucking watch tv either. Today’s my day off in like absolute fucking ages. I hadn’t spent a day at home for weeks and she's out here talking on the phone needing the tv volume low and being her usual loud on the phone and I can’t hear shit on the tv? but when she watches tv were not allowed to make a fucking sound? only double standards from this woman aggravate me on a level as high as this. Later she even hoovers in the same room for 15 fucking minutes, are you dumb? It’s not a fucking mile long mate why take that long I'm building all this shit load of adrenaline and already fuming after 5 minutes of her presence with this clutter. I watched her the whole time instead bc she was blocking the fucking tv and sound with the bloody Hoover noise so I was forced to see all this instead. All I wanted was to watch this single programme man. that's all. it may not matter in 2 days or 5 years but I wanted this, for now, for the moment I desired this. So tell my why tf does it take that long to Hoover this small space in our living room? I swear the longer she took outside of 5 minutes pissed me the fucck offf and I was just there sitting, building samosas and fuming. I really couldn't help it. this part of my life everything made my blood boil. my mother was sitting at top throne of that fucking trigger mate. Fucking hell the way I always hold shit in with her just takes me soo mad I can’t even explain. All my nerves will explode and I could die. 

My fucking 7 year old shit of a little cunt sister pissed me off as well too. Several times today. I was watching tv during the time my mum made me come down and make somosas while she was also talking on the phone like I said. I wanted her to just leave bc I couldn’t hear the tv and she also made us minimise the volume. The fucking nerve. Anyway I make her leave when there’s not much left to do with the somosas now. I switch to the plus one channel bc I wanna watch the whole royal programme again hearing every word of it and I can get what I wanted out of today finally. But noooooo now this little cunt who refused to leave the room now too kept making a million loud and unnecessary fucking noises and I was just so astonished at how she was so capable at making so many annoying sounds with her presence. How can she make that much noise in front of my eyes and why were they so heightened. They were bangs and shuffles and paper crunch and jar closing noises. Like I told her several times nicely to stop! I can’t hear the tv. And already bc I have to speak out to her underdeveloped brain I was again missing the programme. 

Mums in my room now calmly, like usual utters make sure you put it blah blah so they don’t end up somehow back in the dirty laundry and omdssss it was like bitch why the fuck are you even talking since you came up. I’m mad rn and you’re bursting my fucking bubble again. I was hanging on by a fucking thread and could have gone to bed mad with all that shit I was feeling about her but noooo she came up talking in such a calm manner while I'm so mad and dying the fuck inside. And calm talk when I’m fucking mad coming from the person I’m mad at and especially from my mother again pisses me of like a knife to the gut. My anger and level of resentment it ain’t normal so don’t tp me over the fucking edge but ya did didn't ya! these days breathing even pisses me off so imagine my mother fs. Anyways she now says to me in a subtle manner don’t be angry and just like that, I’ve lost it. I just said something automatically back. I said WHY YOU ALWAYS IN MY STUFF she goes.. who? I say YOUUUU, DONT EVER TOUCH MY SHIT AND STAY OUT IF IT WHY YOU ALWAYS TOUCHING IT AND DONT EVER TOUCH WHATVER IS MINE IN MY ROOM AGAIN Like I’m so mad man bc wtf when I entered my room beforehand I knew instantly shit was touched. My resentment mingled with emotions of anger is mega mega heavy when my shits touched by anyone. Especially this little shit and my mum bc that’s when shit goes missing, things are mistaken for rubbish and then things are misplaced. I don’t like that shit. I don’t. I don’t like it. It pisses me off in a different way. Do not touch my shit. Like noooo I don’t carrrreeee, if you think it’s rubbish I don’t caaaree leavveeeeee it motherfuckering alooooneeee. I don’t care if there’s a dead rat laying in the centre of my room. Do. not. fucking. move. it. My mum yeah comes in and does what she likes. I noticed some things that were different from last I saw it and something that didn’t mean much that I kept she threw away the other day and I picked it up again bc I could have added it to a rubbish collection of mine and today it’s gone again. Are you dumbbbbbb when I noticed that amongst a couple other things like earlier she had my sibling bring down a handful of my Nike socks to put in the wash FUCK SAKE what? Fuckk off now, no! Do nooot dooo that! OMDS fs I was so mad and agitated I don’t like it man like I don’t I could cry. I can’t tell you why it deeply bothers me but it does so please do not touch my shit fucking hell! I don’t care if it’s dirty. I’ll handle it bc I literally decide when to take it down for a wash and until I make that decision and you done it for me? no that's not okay. idk why I get this deep angered feeling man but just fuck off. Then a mention from her the other day saying why do I keep my room so junked with condiments shoved with shit inside, like keep less. And that came about in my head during all this madness so that added to today’s events and why in a burst of anger I said why do you touch my stuff etcetera. She never said nothing and just went down because she knew I was mad now. To her over nothing but to me over fucking everything. It’s a whole days worth of built up anger man and I don’t have the will to go on telling you everything on why I’m mad toward you bc I’ll breakdown form it all and I really don’t want to bc you happen to be my fucking mother and I don’t like later regretting the very true shit I’d say in this state. But it kills not to as I  bottle it up and feel the pain of these unsaid things. better me than you though. 

I balled my eyes out just before writing all this bc I was angry I could not. Got that fucking pain in my neck from holding back the cry. Like reading through it sounds like why did I get so mad and cry about it all. But it was a whole days worth of built up anger and other little things through out so I stood there then in my room for a moment then with all the anger and mean words inside me that I wanted to say out loud that I couldn’t therefore didn’t. I was just feeling it all. Then my dad came up saying whats up, am I mad and stuff like tell me. I kept saying nothing and that each time he said something to me. Bc obviously he heard my tantrum thrown at my mum. Heck the whole house heard. I didn’t scream or yell thaaat loud but it was me in the house who was being angry and throwing a fit today. So yeah after dad left my room door almost closed I sat and I cried silently. I just hate so many things about my mum man. I don’t even think hate is the right word. I just don't wanna be her anything. She is what makes me tick most. The things she says to me about all things and even about me. Like I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it. If I hear it I just get mad I don’t get hurt. or maybe I do get hurt and subliminal ignore the hurt and instantaneously replace it with emotion of severe anger with a lot of resentment. Like it just bothers me I can’t be myself bc she’ll throw the biggest fit and occasionally cry bc you’ll feel so shameful of your daughter being anyway that you don’t want or approve of. Like that’s why i hide so much of me already and have to leave the house before she catches a glimpse of me and come home making sure the same thing. I tread carefully around my mum bc she will throw the ugliest and meanest fits that I cannot allow her to feel or cause vibes in the house bc of. Like it’s too much. So if there’s anything I can do to help that than I will hide and be who I am. It’s all so complicated man. last thing I did was get up before getting in bed and slam my door shut so she can hear know I'm maaaad. it felt good. Hope it have her a shock. 

Like idek why I run to my blog. I just had to let it all out somewhere and I hadn’t cried in forever so that was something.

I’m fucking hungry too. I barely ever eat and there’s nothing to eat. Nothing appetises me at all

Fuck I still feel shit

[birdbizarre]

the human sex talk

okay trolls listen up heres the sex talk your lusus wont give you

im going to try to keep this as basic as possible because its going to be confusing anyway so if youre human and youre reading this thinking wow davesprite why didnt you bring up x im sorry bear with me

okay

humans have two basic sexes male and female

for trolls this split isnt really significant in terms of reproduction obviously universes vary and i dont know about every troll but the sexual dimorphism between trolls is very low compared to say some of your lusii or native animals i know some universes where trolls dont have sexes at all just genders

for humans however outside of medical and scientific intervention only a male sex and female sex pair can produce a child

males of the species are born with what is called a penis this is roughly analogous to the bone bulge of a troll below the penis where a nook is on a troll are the testicles sometimes referred to as the balls

you then have the what do trolls call it waste chute or whatever thats further behind the balls

and thats all that is down there

the penis is a flesh covered muscle that normally hangs limp in front of the pelvis there is no sheath and it does not retract into the body it is usually smaller than a troll bulge so the average range is between four and six inches its generally the same width all the way usually between like an inch or two inches in diameter

the head of the penis can be slightly wider than the shaft but doesnt have to be you can usually tell where the shaft ends and the head begins because the shape is slightly different usually the skin that covers the penis will also cover the head and then there will be a sort of fold where the urethra is at the very tip

the urethra is a small hole and thats where piss and ejaculate come out but well get to that in a bit

some humans however have the fold before the head leaving the more sensitive skin around the urethra exposed this isnt the way humans are born but its pretty common so its worth mentioning you dont really want to know why so dont ask

when a male sex human gets aroused the human body directs blood into the penis muscle which then causes it to stiffen otherwise it would just be sort of floppy and useless during sex this is called getting hard or getting a boner or whatever else theres tons of nicknames for all this stuff those are just the big two

then there are the testicles or balls that i mentioned before these are about the size of a golf ball i guess im not really sure what the best troll analogue is there i guess if you imagine the size of an eyeball that is removed from someones socket its just a little bigger than that but again sometimes its different depending on the human

these are also covered in skin like the rest of the human and theyre not really important for the act of sex but they play a part in reproduction because inside is the males genetic material theyre pretty much just weird flesh sacks so its sort of boring but some humans like them being touched i dont know

lets skip over to the female sex organs so we can see how they fit together

females have the equivalent of a troll nook collectively referred to as the vagina which is composed of several parts they do not have a penis

essentially you have a hole much like a nook and around that hole are a few flaps of skin for protection i guess you cant just leave a hole uncovered its all sort of shaped like a clamshell if you turned it on its side or a sort of vertically oriented oval so the quote unquote tips of the oval are oriented toward the belly button and the waste chute respectively

at the top of the clamshell though still within the skin folds above the vaginal opening and just barely above the female urethra which is just another smaller hole with no sexual purpose is the clitoris this is the big one boys this is the doozy this is essentially the female penis or bulge except its only about as big as a pea and something like fifty thousand times more sensitive than a penis so tread carefully

unfortunately for most ladies the clitoris or clit for short isnt reproductively relevant its just sort of vestigial so while its great for pleasure it often goes neglected which sort of sounds like a shame if you ask me and probably more than half the human population

anyway

you might be wondering well if the human males have balls to hold the genetic material where is it on the female its on the inside

essentially the vagina is like a tube and at the end of the tube it narrows and theres a very small opening called the cervix which is where the vagina technically ends and past the cervix is the uterus which is like a balloon with two small deflated balloons attached on either side called the fallopian tubes and finally at the end of those deflated balloons are the ovaries and thats where the female genetic material is squirreled away like some sort of dragons hoard except the hoard is squishy little things called eggs and each egg holds all of the females genetic material

now again this is all on the inside

now lets get to the big shabang itself sex

if your planet doesnt use the word sex this is what youd call pailing and some parts of this might get sort of scandalous depending on how into pailing culture you are and if youre from alternia or beforus so im sorry if it makes you blush or makes you angry but youve been warned

sex occurs between all genders but the again the only kind of sex that has reproductive merit and can produce descendants is between someone with male sex organs and someone with female sex organs as described above

when a male becomes aroused and gets a boner he will then part the folds of the female and insert his penis into her vagina carefully because the vaginal opening is relatively small compared to the penis but fortunately its flexible and if the female is aroused it produces a lubricant sort of like pre material if everything goes well and the foreplay was good enough it shouldnt be painful though if the female hasnt done it before aka is a virgin it might take some time

from my understanding troll bulges are prehensile so pailing involves a lot of wiggling in the indoor area but human penises are not so from here it just becomes a lot of thrusting straight forward and back changing positions can change the sensation but its really pretty boring to talk about but in practice its fun because if it werent our species would die out obviously

anyway then climax happens this should be pretty self explanatory even for a troll this is when the genetic material is released

for the purposes of reproduction the female doesnt have to orgasm but if youre having sex and you think its over just because the guy came youre a monster always take care of your partner

now youre going to be thinking wait davesprite you skipped a step no i didnt

the male does not pull out of the female to release genetic material i repeat the genetic material remains inside the female this is where it belongs it might be gross and drippy but that doesnt go anywhere its not collected its not put anywhere

in human reproduction there is no bucket

the males genetic material which is called sperm or semen technically two different parts of the same liquid but people use them interchangeably goes through the cervix and into the uterus then it will go up the fallopian tubes where if the timing is right because the female reproductive system is not always ready and thats a whole other lesson i cant go into right now there will be an egg waiting

the genetic material of the male will attempt to merge with the genetic material of the female in the males ejaculate there are tons of little packets of genetic material thats the sperm i mentioned before and these little packets have tails on them which let them swim up to the egg and then attempt to break in like little horny thugs the egg will attempt to kill them so only the strongest reach the center

if one of the sperm is successful and of the millions and millions of sperm released in the semen only one usually ever makes all the way from the cervix to the egg the egg will be fertilized and then it will move down the fallopian tube and embed in the wall of the uterus

by then the sex is long over but the egg remains in the uterus for nine months longer if you dont know what a month is its basically a perigree so nine perigrees give or take a little and then a baby aka a grub comes out of the mother through the vagina

and thats human reproduction we do it ourselves because thats just the human way

thanks for listening ive been davesprite and ill take your questions now

oh wait

faq number one

yes trolls and humans can have sex because while the parts are different they can usually more or less fit together however this wont make a grub or a baby unless your universe allows it which sort of varies but usually the answer is no

faq number two

humans can do it up the waste chute which is how a lot of gay men aka male humans who like other male humans choose to do it because they dont have a vagina or nook again it is extremely rare that this makes a baby though the multiverse is a big big place

okay there you go now ill take any remaining questions

#nsfw/ #ic #long post/ #[[ there it is. youre welcome. i suffer for you ]]

[neubauje]

BEGT ch. 4

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4 (AO3 Mirror)

"Recovery Girl, are you very busy, or can I come in?" All Might knocks lightly on the door frame to the nurse's office, and at her beckoning, ducks in and closes the door behind himself before releasing his powered-up form out of sight of prying students. "Thanks, I... needed to come vent a little. You don't mind playing therapist once more, do you?" It's the end of the day after resuming classes, and while Aizawa was able to stand long enough to inform the class of the upcoming UA Sports Festival, he'd returned back here almost immediately afterwards, and sunk back into bed from exhaustion, this time in the one against the window. He's hooked up to another IV, and All Might nods curtly at him in greeting, though Eraserhead appears to have dozed off, halfway propped up against the wall after his last bout of exhaustion-inducing metabolic healing. Feeling like a bit of an intruder now, All Might perches on the edge of the spare mattress with his hands dangling off his knees. "I pulled young Midoriya out from lunch today to talk."

"Oh?" Recovery Girl glances over with a gentle smile before turning back to the supplies ordering form she'd been filling out. "What did you tell him?"

"I tested my endurance over the weekend, Chiyo. I'm down to fifty minutes a day. Ninety if I'm not doing anything. It's..." All Might glances over his shoulder, ensuring the other teacher is still asleep, but treads carefully all the same. "It's leaving me. I don't have much time left. I had to make sure he understood..."

"That's pretty bad all right. What's your plan?" Recovery Girl sends out her order and pushes away from the desk before wheeling over to face All Might. She takes one of his bony hands and plants a little kiss there, polishing off the rest of his bruises and scabs in return for just a bit more energy. He sighs and nods a silent thanks before pulling his hand back.

"Well, that's just the thing. I can plan and plan all I like, but there's so many different ways this could go down. On one end of the spectrum, the ideal outcome-" He sits up a little straighter and holds up one palm, "Let's say there are no further incidents. I don't get pulled into any more unexpected fights. I manage my time and appearances carefully, and don't overextend what's left of my abilities. I figure I'd get what, maybe a year? Two if I'm lucky? I have to use that time to start moving the spotlight from me to Midoriya. Take him under my wing in the public eye, maybe as a sidekick. Never had one of those before. Start to make that association between the Symbol of Peace and him. And, when he's ready, I get to retire, and the world at large is none the wiser. They'll look to him instead of me. But with the rate things are going, I think we all know that's nothing more than a pipe dream anymore."

"There isn't exactly a history of your predecessors having happy endings, no," Recovery girl agrees, lips twisting into a bit of a pout, "But you knew that when you took up the mantle."

"Yeah, exactly. Then there's the other end of the spectrum... the worst possible outcome." All Might lowers his hand and raises the other, fingers curled into a bit of a claw-shape. "That league of villains actually accomplishes their goal, or somebody else beats them to it. They wear me out in battle, I lose my strength, they slaughter me like an old mule. Midoriya tries to save me, and maybe they get him too, maybe they don't. Maybe it's even televised, if they can have their way, I bet. Either way, word gets out that the Symbol of Peace is gone, with no viable replacement. Endeavor may be a powerhouse, but he stands for law and order, not hope and security. Not peace. Without someone to fill this role right now? The world, with the fragile state that it's in, falls to panic, villainy, and anarchy."

"You must really think a lot of yourself." Eraserhead, from his corner, scoffs a little, and the other two turn to look over at him, surprised that he'd been alert enough to listen in.

"Aizawa! You... well. You're right and you're wrong." All Might scoots back onto the bed and leans back against the headrest, propping his knees up in the air and ignoring the little scowl from Recovery Girl at his shoes on the bare plastic mattress. "I'm nothing. A farce. I'm a shadow of what I used to be, and I can hardly even call myself a hero anymore. But this ... confident caricature of a hero that the rest of the world sees? Even you have to admit, Aizawa, even just this omnipresent IDEA of 'All Might' that's been built up can be enough to deter a lot of crime preemptively. Until now, anyway. Before this league of villains, there hadn't been an attempt at an organized takeover since I made my debut."

Eraserhead looks away and contemplates silently for a few moments. While he'd always derided or looked down on the large portion of time that the Number One Hero spent in the spotlight and cavorting with the media, he supposes that on some unconscious level, he had in fact noticed the correlation. The streets had been a lot scarier before All Might became their celebrity guardian. Perhaps all that flashy showmanship served a vital purpose after all. "So you have to find a middle ground," he concedes, "Somewhere between the seamless transition you don't have time for, and a premature ending."

"Exactly." All Might closes his eyes and leans his head all the way back against the wall, the harsh office light above him casting even harsher shadows into the gaunt hollows of his cheeks and brows. He already looks halfway defeated, exhausted, and sure of his own demise. Seeing him in this state, Aizawa can hardly believe that this is the same man who plasters on a brave smile and reckless laugh to stand for the forces of good. "I was telling Midoriya earlier today about the Sports Festival, how he can use it to make a name for himself, even without being directly tied to me. It's a good start."

Recovery Girl hops down off her chair and toddles around to Aizawa's bedside, fussing with his bandaging and changing out the IV for a different fluid. "Speaking of the Sports Festival, the students tend to train pretty hard in preparation for it. They may need to come in here over the course of the next two weeks, and may even end up needing these beds. I doubt you'll want to go back to the hospital, Shota, do you have someone at home who will look after you while you finish healing there?"

Even with the casts and bandages hiding his movements, Aizawa visibly stiffens. "No, I don't," he admits, hoping she won't press the issue. All Might frowns and sits up, peering over with concern.

"Hmm, well I wouldn't want you to-"

"He can come stay at my place." Recovery Girl, cut off from trying to find alternatives, turns to stare as All Might juts his pointed chin over toward Eraserhead, "I've just got a bachelor pad across town, I can sleep on the pull-out couch. It's fine." Eraserhead is frowning slightly under his bandages, too surprised at the sudden offer to really have a response. At least this would prevent it from getting out that-

"All Might, if I could have a word with you?" The kindly old school nurse seems suddenly more stern than usual as she rounds her way out from between the beds and drags the man three times her height out to the hallway, where he hurriedly strains back into his hero form just in case. "Toshinori do you have ANY idea what you just offered? What you'd be getting yourself into?" Speaking in firm but hushed tones, she tugs on the muscle-bound hero's necktie until he bends to meet her gaze, a nervous grin creasing his chiseled face. "The man's hands are fractured, he'll have to stay in those casts for at least eight days, MORE if he's not able to handle additional metabolic boosts periodically. He will need assistance with almost every daily task, and you are NOT a home care specialist. Not to mention, he is in NO shape to be leaping across the city with you, and you don't have a car to drive him in."

"Er..." All Might freezes for a second, his mind racing through old memories from five years ago, when he'd gone through a surgery what seemed like every other day, bed-ridden and in pain for months... "I picked up on a lot when it was me in the hospital, you know," his own voice has dropped to a whisper by now, desperate to keep his injury secret, "I can change an IV, or whatever else he needs. If I'm stumped, I can call you. And we can take the subway. Please, Chiyo, I barely have anything else to do, now that I'm down to an hour a day. You have the whole student body to take care of. Let me do this."

Recovery Girl sighs and glances back in at Eraserhead, who has either dozed off or is trying not to look like he's eavesdropping, then she lets go of All Might's tie, allowing him to stand up properly again. "Fine. I'll make you a check list. Just make sure it gets done nightly, or he could get an infection or worse. I hope you realize this won't be easy." The silent but determined stare back at her seems to be answer enough. "Do NOT feel obligated to see this through if it's not working out. I'll make a call to a nursing friend of mine just in case. But you two had better get going if you're going to get any sleep, public transportation can take a while."

All Might nods and follows her back into the nurse's office with his thumbs in his pockets, maintaining his form a little while longer for simplicity's sake. "Aizawa, how far away is your place, I can run and grab your toiletries and a few changes of clothes, anything else you-"

"No need for that. I have supplies in the locker closest to the teacher's lounge." Eraserhead is carefully sitting up to move off the bed, shifting one leg at a time to keep his balance without the use of his arms. He provides the locker combination, and All Might dashes to go fetch the large duffel bag from the specified location while Recovery Girl types up and prints out the home care checklist, complete with her office and cell numbers. She tucks it into the pocket on the side of the duffel once All Might comes rushing back in, casually wiping away a trickle of blood on the sleeve of his dark blue suit jacket.

"Thanks, Recovery Girl. We'll be back after class tomorrow." All Might slings the bag over his shoulder, and hovers near the bed while Aizawa gets to his feet, ready to offer a stabilizing arm if needed. "Alright, if you're ready, let's head out."

Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 (rated M) - Chapter 11 (rated M) - Chapter 12

#BNHA #bnha fic #eraserhead #all might #erasermight #my writing #I have no idea if this will actually work #Behind Every Great Teacher