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gilbertsannegirl · 3 years

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The Scientist

Merry Christmas to @rootedbutfl0wing! Sorry it’s a couple of days late, but I really hope you do enjoy it! Hope your Christmas was wonderful, and it was a lot of fun getting to know you a little bit :) And thank you @kindredspiritssecretsanta (@royalcordelia) for once again hosting this wonderful event! Once again, cannot wait till next year x

Read it on AO3 / fanfiction.net

2019 Fic

2018 Fic

Summary: Based on The Scientist by Coldplay, which I thought kind of fitted Anne and Gilbert a lot (have a listen if you’ve never heard it before! It’s a beautiful song). Major moments of their relationship from Gilbert’s point of view, along with missing scenes and an AU ending, definitely enemies to friends to lovers. Hope you enjoy!

Come up to meet you; Tell you I’m sorry; You don’t know how lovely you are

Red. He saw it, red hair. Never was there another colour like it. Gilbert slowly turned in his seat to see a scraggly, freckled girl seated next to Diana Barry. Who was this girl? The sun glinted steadily through the window onto that hair that had drawn his eye in the first place. Why it’s as red as carrots, he thought, continuing to do nothing but stare at the girl who he had never seen in his life. She glanced his way, to which he winked at her, smiling smugly that she’d looked.

After a muttered word to Diana, the girl gazed out the window and, at least what Gilbert began to believe, blatantly ignored him. Feeling the need to see those grey-green eyes look his way once more, he began to rack his brain for ideas. Carrots…

“Carrots,” he hissed softly while tugging gently on the red hair he’d already grown so fond of, “Carrots.”

She whirled around in horror, her eyes flashing a delicious shade of green. “How dare you!” she screamed, and the next Gilbert knew was she’d gone and smashed something over his head. Was that a slate? Either way he found himself apologising profusely to Mr. Phillips who’d rushed to the scene.

Ann Shirley has a very bad temper. Ann Shirley must learn to control her temper. * Was written on the board, and the girl grimly marched to the board placing an ‘e’ at the end of each Ann. Anne Shirley. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Anne stood seething under that sign for the rest of the afternoon, glaring every now and then at the boy who started it all.

At the end of the day Gilbert waited behind for Anne to leave after her lecture from Mr. Phillips. Intercepting her at the door, he glanced into her eyes, “I'm awfully sorry I made fun of your hair, Anne," he whispered contritely. "Honest I am. Don't be mad for keeps, now." *

The lovely girl with the golden, red hair snubbed her nose, and marched away with Diana at her side. Despite this, he grinned dumbly. She’s simply lovely, he thought his eyes following her down the road as she made her way towards what he assumed to be her home.

I had to find you; Tell you I need you; Tell you I set you apart

With the mayflowers in hand, Gilbert set off towards Patty’s Place, smiling sweetly at what could come of this particular visit. He found Anne in the orchard her head buried in a book, and he smiled slightly at her usual Anne-ness.

Handing her the Mayflowers, he carefully told her of his plans for the summer: staying in Kingsport to work at the Daily News Office. Gilbert watched as her face fell, hoping this was as good of time as any to ask her the question he had yearning in the back of his mind ever since that fateful day he called her carrots. She quickly composed herself however, and before she could make any more excuse to leave to pick violets, he said, “Things can't go on like this any longer. Anne, I love you. You know I do. I - I can't tell you how much. Will you promise me that someday you'll be my wife?” **

Anne quickly turned away shaking her head. Gil’s face fell immediately. Perhaps he was deceiving himself all along. Had she really never loved him? What about at Echo Lodge? Surely there was something in her eyes then. She begged for his forgiveness, and he gently, in person and heart, let go of her hand.

“There isn't anything to forgive. There have been times when I thought you did care. I've deceived myself, that's all. Goodbye, Anne.” ** And as he walked away that day, malice entered his heart. He must never think of Anne Shirley again.

Tell me your secrets; And ask me your questions; Oh, let’s go back to the start

Gilbert sat, his work sprawled across his desk as he ran his hands carefully through his curls. Biting his lip, he thought carefully about what was bothering him so. It has been a year, a year to the dot. His eyes glistened with tears once more as he remembered the terrified look on Anne’s face as he told her of his love for her. Oh, how he regretted it now. Shaking his head, he recalled their beautiful friendship, dwelling on the secrets that she had lovingly entrusted him with.

“Gil,” Anne said, a little melancholic after a particularly deep conversation between the two of them, “Could I tell you something? Something I’ve never told anyone else?”

He looked at her curiously, “Not even to Marilla or Diana?” At the shake of her head, he swallowed carefully, “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Well, I never really thought of it till now. Do you really think anyone could love me? I mean romantically? I’m afraid that I’ve not grown up surrounded by love that I don’t know what I’m looking for. Marilla and Diana, they think me foolish with my fantastic ideals of love. But when I was about 5 or 6, I was living with a family who’d hired me as a work hand – to look after the children, you see. I remember their eldest son was much older than their youngest children. He was about 15 or 16. He wrote poetry and was melancholic. He was the only one in that household that ever paid any attention to me and snuck me food when no one was looking. I didn’t love him romantically of course, I was only 6, but I feel that’s where this all sprouted from in the end. Don’t you think it’s strange that these memories come back to us so many years later?”

Gilbert had stopped their walking a while back. He looked deep into her eyes and whispered, “Anne…”

Anne cleared her throat at the intimacy in his voice, and Gilbert immediately thought himself an idiot for letting such intimacy come about in this private moment, “Um, I should… go. I’ll see you later Gilbert.”

Thinking back to this moment now, just a few weeks before they went to Redmond, he knew how idiotic it was to ask for her hand. He wasn’t the brooding hero she had longed for her whole life – he was plain old Gilbert Blythe, ex-best friend of the most remarkable woman to walk the earth. Yes, she was…

Nobody said it was easy; It’s such a shame for us to part; Nobody said it was easy; No one ever said it would be this hard; Oh, take me back to the start

Gilbert saw the radiant girl – no, woman – waltz into the newly decorated hall on the arm of Royal Gardner. Her figure was dressed in an apple green with a low scooped neckline, and her ruddy tresses were laced with small snowdrops. She’s simply beyond beautiful tonight, and you can’t have her. He sighed, lacing his fingers with his ruddy curls, and pacing near the wide window that showed the snow covered land. His best friend – ex-best friend, he scoffed – was on the arm of another man and if the whispering around him was true, she would continue to be on his arm forever.

He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder, and he swung around to see Christine Stuart with a small smile gracing her lips. “Gilbert, are you ready for our dance? The band is set up now.” In the short while of pacing, the room had come to life. Women and men dressed to the nines, chatter erupting and creating an atmosphere of warmth. He nodded and grabbed her hand, placing it in the crook of his arm as they meandered to the dance floor.

They twirled and swayed slowly to the tune that was being softly played. Violins, piano, and flutes all filling his head with sweet song. Not as sweet as Anne, the thought rudely interrupted. He shook his head, gracing a glance at the couple dancing not two feet away from him and his partner. And I guess that is the man who will sit and read her Tennyson by firelight. Yes, but you would do that for her too…

“Gilbert, is everything alright?” He quickly looked up and then down, realising that he had stopped their slow dance and there were people hurrying to avoid crashing into them. “You’re awfully pale. Did you want to sit down for a spell, or perhaps get some air?”

“Um, yes please. I just need to be alone for a little while. Will you be alright? I’ll be back by the next dance.” Christine opened her mouth, but Gilbert had already started walking away continuing his pedantic running of fingers through his hair. Oh, why did you ask her to marry you anyway. You ruined everything; she could still be on your arm as a friend – best friend – not on the arm of that Royal guy. He gasped in the cold air and his hardened heart frosted over as the rivers seeped from his eyes.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures; Pulling your puzzles apart; Questions of science, science, and progress; Do not speak as loud as my heart

Every day Gilbert placed one foot in front of the other to pull himself out of bed, through the door and into the gates of Redmond to face his studies, and it was paying off. Another year without Anne; another year of topping every class. It was the easiest distraction from the rushing thoughts and escorting Christine around to various social gatherings. Pouring into schoolwork was always something he had enjoyed, but especially now when it was the only thing in his life that he could fully control. Especially when flashes of red hair and green eyes invaded his dreams every night. Especially when he couldn’t have her.

Tell me you love me; Come back and haunt me; Oh, and I rush to the start; Running in circles, chasing our tails; Coming back as we are

It hadn’t been so long ago that they were walking through Hester Gray’s garden – she was picking flowers and he was desperately trying to see more in their friendship. Days often turned to dusk while they were together. And oh, they could talk, or rather Anne could. In every memory he had of her, there were glimpses of moments that he had misconstrued as love. Fleeting touches – of course they were by accident – meaningful glances – Miss Lavender’s wedding, I think she did love me then, perhaps for a moment.

Anne was still very much on the arm of Royal Gardner at every social gathering, while Christine Stuart was on his own arm. The distractions of schoolwork and being up for the Cooper prevented Gilbert from taking in much of the gossip that surrounded the couples. In the back of his mind, he knew what they were saying. Gilbert to wed Christine and Royal to wed Anne. He knew the gossip around his love life was not true, Christine was engaged to another man and he didn’t think of her in that way. But Anne… All of those rumours could very well be true. Where would that leave him?

“Gilbert!” No… it couldn’t be her. “Gil!” And just like that her red hair was staring him in the face.

“Anne?”

“Yes, of course. Gilbert, I just wanted to congratulate you. It seems we are both on the honours list, I’ve just come from the dean’s office. Here,” she shoved a piece of paper into his hands, “see for yourself. It’s all so exciting!”

And in that moment Gilbert allowed himself back to those friendship days of Lover’s Lane, the Dryad’s Bubble, the Lake of Shining Waters, and imagined what it would be like to be with her in those places now. She continued to chatter but stopped when he suddenly gathered her into his arms. “Thank you, Carrots.” And he walked away, leaving her mouth wide open and a few tears gathered on her eyelashes.

Nobody said it was easy; Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part; Nobody said it was easy; No one ever said it would be so hard; I’m going back to the start

That moment of the honours list sustained him for some time. She was radiant at convocation in her dress with his flowers. His promise to her all those years ago. If we make it to graduation I’m sending you a bunch of Lilies of the Valley. The Cooper’s Prize was his and Anne had made the honour’s list for English. Well, of course. In the times that he has known her she has been the storyteller, and so honours in English was never a negotiable thing.

The dance began and through the crowd he could see her. She was once again in a shroud of pale green taffeta, his flowers laced through her hair. Everything slowed as they made eye contact with one another. He stumbled towards her, dropping Christine from his arm. As if in a daze, he made his way through the ballroom. But then he saw the haze of her eyes, and the shock in her face as she turned towards the entry of the room. She began to run out into the cool of the early summer night.

In that moment Gilbert knew exactly what he was doing, and yet his knees never stopped knocking, his hands never left his curls. He was going after her. And this time nothing was going to stop him. In the craze of the ballroom, he flung himself around dancing couples and out the door. In the moonlight he saw the pale skin of her throat accentuated by the curls let loose down her back.

“Anne!” She stopped her dazed walk but did not turn to face him. He quickly caught up to her and placed both hands on her cold shoulders. “Anne-girl, what’s wrong?”

“You did it again.” She murmured, which he barely caught through the howling wind.

“What?”

“You call me Anne-girl, you send me gifts, flowers, you never break your promises. And yet you look at me in the same way you always have, even after I broke your heart. Gil? How can you still look at me that way? I’ve never deserved it Gil… I’ve never…” It broke his heart more to have this precious girl crying in his arms over unspoken words, glances, and touches. But he did speak his heart over two years ago in that orchard. Could it be that she’s changed her mind? “And now, you’re going to marry Christine and it’s all my fault that I never understood… I never understood…”

“Anne-girl,” he said in reverence, “is that what this is about?” She pulled her head off his chest to look into his kind, hazel eyes, and he reached up to wipe away her tears. “I’m not engaged to marry Christine. It’s all silly rumours, one’s which I never paid much attention to anyway. You see… I have a dream. I persist in dreaming it, although it has often seemed to me that it could never come true. I dream of a home with a hearth-fire in it , a cat and dog, the footsteps of friends – and you!” ***

And there was once again that moment in which Anne looked at him like he thought he must look at her and he knew there was no separating them again.

*Anne of Green Gables Chapter XV

**Anne of the Island Chapter XX

***Anne of the Island Chapter XLI

#annesecretsanta #anne of green gables #aogg #anne with an e #anne shirley #gilbert blythe #anne fanfiction #shirbert fanfiction

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sweetest-honeybee · 5 years

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A Kiss for the Host

Summary: Thomas gets to experience what it’s like to give all the sides some smooches

CONTAINS: Kissing obvs, sympathetic deceit, some weird but sympathetic Remus, some minor nsfw (not explicit, just some passionate make outs), and all that good stuff.

I also don’t keep word count lmao let’s do this

Huge ass taglist:

@miraculousglitter @itsnotaphasemomomg @lia-quanz @tina0555 @sarmaangel @friend2fandomz @thriftedjumper @pedantic-sevantic @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @nothingelsemattersme @absolutesandersidestrash @starbucks-remy @vicdehart @baby-duck-boy @purfectionatbest @all-my-fandoms-are-killing-me @bumble-bitch-sanders @legitimately-glittery @the-office-cat @dirty-rat-remus @insanegoldie2 @noon-shadows @sneakycat-bishes @thenerdinthegroup @accio-hufflepuff-power1 @virgil-is-a-cutie @msblackrobin @low-key-aesthetic @bender-of-life @eleven-lit-vocab-cards @shadowwolf92830 @microsoft-boi @theobsessor1 @awitchbravestheverge @go-just-me-fan @5am-the-foxing-hour @ultrafangirlishness @emopunknbply @max-is-tired @princeyssash @sig-was-here @dirkwasalwayshere @leesacrakon @incoherentfangirl @goodie-at-ease

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[[MORE]]

Roman and Thomas

Recently, Thomas had been told that his traits were dating each other. A little odd for him to process, but he didn’t mind seeing as they were all very happy together, even deceit and Remus and that was them. He loves them all just as much, too. However, one would think it would be odd if someone told you that they can’t go out with you because they were dating themself. But Thomas had passionately wanted to be happy with the sides and get to know them a lot more personally than he knew himself.

So, with that thought, he went to Roman of course to discuss. The prince at the time was in his room lounging on his head, plucking chocolates from a heart shaped box blissfully. He hummed, noticing the host appearing in his room with a sigh of content, Thomas felt more than just relaxed in the castle room.

“Ah, hello Thomas,” he sat up. “Do you need anything? Are you lost?”

“Hm? No, no, I uh-I needed to ask you something. Something about romance and stuff ya know?”

“Well of course I know, I am named after it after all,” the prince chuckled. He invited the Thomas over to the large bed with a pat to the sheets. “Sit? Would you like some chocolate? Patton made it!”

“Uh, sure. So, recently you guys told me that you all were dating-“

“I do date all of the others, yes.”

“Well, you guys seemed really happy and stuff and recently I haven’t had any luck with um-getting with anyone-and uh-you guys enjoy being together and-I don’t-argh! I’m trying not to make this sound weird!”

Thomas groaned in frustration while Roman simply stared at Thomas with a hint of love in his eyes. Frustration aside, Thomas was quite adorable when he was flustered.

......Ah so that’s what Thomas was worrying about.

“What I’m trying to say is that I-I wanted to give it a try ya know? I know it’s weird but you guys just seemed really happy and it makes me happy when you guys are happy so I wanna be part of the happiness......ya know?” Roman chuckled sweetly.

“I’m sure that could happen. I wouldn’t mind anyway, you are quite beautiful in your own way compared to the others. I’d love that.” He smiled, such a genuine grin, you could see how much he loved Thomas as well. And so, Roman being Roman, took the chance to take it a step forward.

The prince leaned a little farther towards Thomas and with his words he practically locked Thomas into a mesmerized gaze, not to manipulate the host of course. That would just be rude. It made Thomas feel warm and serene, like he wanted time to stop. It did feel like it did though when Roman wrapped a single arm around Thomas’s waist and pulled him forward.

“Is this okay?”

“Mhm...”

“Would you mind if I kissed you right now?” the prince asked, barely above a whisper.

“Yes...”

With the word, he pressed his lips against Thomas’s slightly, waiting for any reaction before he went for it entirely. He hummed when Thomas kissed him the rest of the way, snaking his arms around Roman’s neck.

Roman tilted his head, pulled the host closer, and laid Thomas onto the sheets under him, all while he kissed him passionately, yet it was sweet. Not quite the fire Thomas imagined when he thought to ever kiss the prince but Roman was so gentle and slow, deep intimate kisses and an everlasting embrace. Unsurprisingly, it was everything Thomas wanted in a kiss, Roman was the one who let the host think of it all this time after all.

The moment they broke apart, they were both as red as the blankets. But still, Roman kept an almost proctective hold around Thomas’s waist and Thomas smiled like an idiot. He hid his face into the prince’s neck and giggled. Roman stared down at him like a lovesick fool, somehow his host was too cute to bare so he pressed another kiss to the crown of Thomas’s head and pulled him closer until they figured they might as well just cuddle for the afternoon.

————————

Patton and Thomas

“You seem like you’re in a good mood, Ro,” observed Patton when Roman bounded into the kitchen happily.

“Yes, I am. I believe I’ve fallen in love all over again.”

The others at the table, Virgil, Logan, Deceit, and Remus, looked up in question at the smitten prince. Roman disregarded their expressions and pressed a kiss to their foreheads (save for Remus who got a happy pat on the shoulder) and plopped down onto his chair.

“Last I checked you don’t travel around the entire mind to know enough traits to fall in love with, Ro, who’s the lucky guy?” asked Remus. “I mean come on, you kill a few dragons and eat chocolate in your room in the last two days and suddenly you’re head over heels for someone again?”

“I guess so, but he’d rather talk about it on his own time when he’s ready. I don’t want spoil anything.”

“Well, whoever he is, I’m sure we’d love to meet him, right guys?” Patron exclaimed. He sat a plate of waffles onto the table.

“Right,” the traits confirmed in unison.

“Now, let’s eat shall we?”

***

Later on, Patton found Thomas roaming the hall mindlessly, humming quietly. Thomas smiled lightly at Roman’s door, yet walked passed it and took a small admiration to a handmade vase on a small tablet in the hall. Patton tilted his head and shook it while a snort.

“Hiya, Thomas! Whatcha doing around here? Shouldn’t you be out there?” He pointed upwards as if the mind was underground but Thomas knew what he meant.

“Real body is napping right now, had the flu and stuff. Thought I’d walk around a little bit, get to know the place?”

“Well, you can always come to my room if you want, if you’ve got the flu, you can relax your mind body in there for a bit.”

Thomas, knowing that he did in fact love Patton like he loved Roman too, did gladly accept the father character’s invite to his room. In seconds they appeared in the slightly cluttered room and speckled fo gold flickered around in the air. Thomas smiled lightly, and leaned against Patton slightly, although he didn’t know he was until Patton questioned if he was okay with a slight look of concern. This was different than how he acted last time, now Thomas seemed as if he would fall asleep then and there.

“No, no, I just feel different than last time. Hm.....feels more calm, like I wanna hug the air.......air feels soft. I feel really soft inside I guess?” Thomas only laughed, his hair falling over his eyes with the jump of his shoulder with each laugh.

“Aww, that’s cute. You wanna sit down? We got blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, and I can even conjure some hot chocolate if you want!”

“Mhm.....” Thomas sat on the thick mattress, layered with white and blue sheets, and ran his fingers over the stitched pattern on the duvet. “Soft....” he muttered. “Really soft...”

Patton could only stare in absolute awe at Thomas being so gosh darn cute. The host looked up at him with a big smile.

“Remember that time when you and I ate ice cream together on my moms porch when I was seven? When you were the only side I really talked to besides Logan and stuff? Those were good times. Still good times, I love having you around...and I love you....a lot. Lots and lots.....”

Patton stiffened for a seconds, yet his shoulders fell when he understood Thomas. Thomas smiled at him so lovingly, so full of little giggles and snorts when he brought up other memories of him and Patton. Patton’s own heart could literally flutter in his chest. He blushed and laughed as well.

“Aww....That is adorable. And I’m glad you love me! I love you lots and lots too, kiddo!”

“No like love you-love you.....” he muttered. “You’re real cute, I wanna kiss you really badly. I remember you were the one who actually had me kiss my first boyfriend, it was so nice.”

“You-you want to kiss me? Like romantically?”

“Yeah...”

Patton sighed through his nose with a small smile. “Is that you or is that the room? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable here.”

“It’s me, I just feel really soft though. But I love you....like....a lot....so......”

With a snort, Patton stepped closer to his host. He lifted Thomas’s head by the chin and Thomas just closed his eyes and hummed with a dopey smile. “Kiss me you dork.”

Patton didn’t hesitate to peck his lips lightly, peck them again, and again, peppering his lips, cheeks, and nose with feather light kisses. He pressed a single, long lasting kiss to Thomas’s lips and pulled away.

“You okay?” Patron asked when Thomas leaned his head forward onto Patton’s chest. Nuzzling into it, Thomas confirmed that he was very okay, very happy...

Just very soft.

——————

Logan and Thomas

Logan had noticed later on that Patton and Roman had been more invested in talking to Thomas quite often, not much along the lines of manipulating his decisions, more so just to spend time with the host.

Like most situations, the teacher became the detective and decided to investigate. He took some time staying around Thomas more often, trying to see what exactly Roman and Patton were so interested in. They were being especially giddy around Thomas so there had to be something?

Logan sat with Thomas during editing, recommended some better eating habits, went on runs with Thomas in the morning, even helped Thomas into bed and he still didn’t know what exactly was so special. However...

That was until Thomas decided to be a bit closer to Logan: greeting him in the morning with a bright smile that made Logan’s stomach fill with figurative butterflies. Thomas took a liking to Logan’s “narrator” voice and asked hesitantly for the side to read to him while he edited videos, and Logan happily obliged. Closer to autumn he took walks with the logical facet as well, and discussed a possible online astronomy course in the near future.

At those moments Logan had figured that he, as Roman would put it, was in love with Thomas. He had all the symptoms to prove it: the butterflies in the belly, a dazed yet happy feeling around his host, and a need to stay around and possibly be intimate with Thomas as well. He did want this, yet he didn’t know if Thomas would want that too.

So, like any logical person would, he simply asked.

“Thomas, I need to ask you something important.”

“What’s up, Lo?” asked Thomas. The host in question was preparing a meal for himself in the kitchen.

“Well, recently I’ve realized that I may have developed a sort of....romantic feeling for you and wanted to ask if you reciprocated my emotions as well? If not that’s fine, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“No that’s fine! Kinda had a crush on you too for a while now,” the host laughed. He hardly took a glance from the stir fry in his hand. Logan in turn just bowed his head and coughed nervously.

“Well, if that’s how you feel, um, I wondered if you would like to be in a romantic relationship....with me? You know, do couple things like holding hands, sleeping together in some cases or....”

Thomas turned to face Logan, barely a couple inches from the aspect. He smiled.

“Or what, Lo?”

“O-or.....kiss their significant other......”

“Hm...would you like to?”

“Ah-um-yes, that would be nice...”

“I mean if you don’t want to, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“It’s perfectly fine Thomas-um-oh for crofters’ sake, please just kiss me...”

Thomas took a hold of Logan’s tie and tugged him forward against his lips, Logan gasped for only a second before placing his hands awkwardly on Thomas’s waist. Thomas simply cupped his cheeks, sliding down to tentatively caress the logical side’s neck while Logan simply let Thomas lead his actions. Taking Logan and turning him and the side to pin Logan against the counter, Thomas held the other’s back and waist Logan moved to grasp at the host’s shoulders.

When they broke apart, Thomas gasped-

“What is it?”

“THE MUFFINS”

“Oh-oH NO-“

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Virgil and Thomas

“What’s with Logan? He’s been uncharacteristically happy and that’s saying a lot since he’s been doing good since we started dating and stuff,” asked Virgil, appearing on the bottom step. Thomas glanced over the top of his computer.

“Oh hello, Virgil! Yeah he’s been doing good lately. Told him that I might do an online astronomy course!”

“That explains it. But like....he, Roman, and Patton, look like they fell in love again. Even Logan doesn’t look that smitten around us. There something between you two or something?”

“No, but I mean still, something wrong Virgil?”

“No, no, just wondered is all.”

Thomas rolled his eyes and got back to editing while Virgil stood at the stairs awkwardly shifting on his feet. Thomas looked up and raised a brow, noticing that Virgil looked distressed to some extent.

“Virge, you okay?”

Virgil didn’t say anything for a moment, opening his mouth a few times and nothing would come out. A small flush rose to his cheeks and Thomas tilted his head.

“Virge?”

“Um.....So....I know this will sound really weird and I’m so sorry if this bothers you like seriously I am and you can kick me out if you want but like-I um-I....I think I.....like you? Like not as a host or a friend ya know? Like uh.....yeah.....I think you get the point....”Virgil bit at the nail of his thumb and rocked on his heels.

“Awww....that is so sweet. Can I tell you something if you don’t tell anyone else yet?”

“Uh...sure?”

“Well, why don’t you come on over here.” Thomas moved the laptop onto the coffee table. “Don’t wanna announce it to the whole house ya know?”

Virgil hesitantly sa on the couch next to Thomas who somehow still smiled sweetly at him. He motioned for Virgil to lean towards him, to tell him the secret. Cupping around Virge’s ear, Thomas said:

“I’m in love with all of you...that includes you.” He pulled away, watching for a reaction. The anxious trait just sat there, a bright red blush coating his nose, cheeks, and ears.

“I-I-“

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah-Yeah oh yeah that awesome thank god. Ohhh thank god that you do...”

Thomas took Virgil’s hand slowly, watching as Virgil relaxed into his side with a sigh of relief. Unexpectedly, the aspect pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and hid in his arm under his hood immediately. Thomas chuckled and pulled the laptop back onto his lap to work once more.

———————

Remus and Thomas

“A little birdie told me that you’ve been smooching up a storm around here!”

Thomas jumped at the sound of Remus’s voice, not noticing when the trait frown at the reaction for a second.

“Oh, hello Remus. Still getting used to,” he gestured at Remus’s entire body,”uh...that.”

“Right, anyway, why don’t I get any kisses! I’m a good kisser! I’m Roman’s brother for crying out loud!”

“Well, maybe I wasn’t ready yet? I don’t necessarily have to kiss you just because you want me to.”

“I know,” Remus dragged disdainfully. “I mean you did say you hate me.”

“Remus, you and I know that’s not the reason....or even true anymore. I don’t hate you, you can just be....eccentric at times and not at a level I’m comfortable with.”

Remus pouted, his arms hung by his sides.

“Okay, can’t make you do it so I won’t. But if you’re gonna be with Roman just treat him good, ‘kay? Like, he is head over heels for you and I will bash your head in if you hurt his feelings.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “Sure,” he said. But just before Remus could sink out, Thomas stepped over and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. It was the least he could do right?

The trait in turn flushed quickly and stammered out a thank you. Thomas laughed and sat back onto the couch while shaking his head lovingly. Like he said, he didn’t hate Remus, he didn’t love him a lot too, just that he wanted to get more comfortable with his habits before attempting anything.

It was quite a while before Thomas considered the idea again. It was settled initially that he, Roman, Logan, Virgil, and Patton were dating. He hadn’t visited the “dark sides” to really discuss the idea with them either. From what he learned is that Deceit was a little selective with his partners, yet Thomas wondered how he managed to pick everyone in the mind. Still, he didn’t want to exclude deceit either and like the others, good golly he loved deceit too.

However, he didn’t want to go into it yet, he had a duke to visit.

The trait was in his own creepy domain, his room was messy and littered with odd ideas and the walls were lined with shelves of potions, creatures, and weapons. Remus didn’t really notice when his host appeared in the room; he was busy removing some blood out of a green cape. He did feel some kind of presence so, absentmindedly, he said hello to anyone who was possibly there.

His didn’t expect to hear the voice of Thomas and his head perked up like that of a dog when they hear the doorbell.

“Thomas? Shouldn’t you be somewhere else? I know this is my room and all but you could literally be killed in here if you stay too long.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I thought we should move this conversation to my room instead.”

“As underlyingly sexual as that sounds, sure!”

With a snap of his fingers, Remus took himself and Thomas to the real world. It wasn’t new to him, he’s seen Thomas’s room several times so it was a usual spot if they wanted to discuss anything.

“So, you know how I’ve been dating the others, right?”

“Well duh.”

“Well, I thought maybe it was time that I considered that you should be a part of that too.”

“You-wait what? But you said you weren’t comfortable with-“ Remus gestured at himself “-all of this.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “And I have now, you dork. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. You know even deceit wouldn’t have me lie about something like that when he loves you too.”

Remus thought for a second. “.....true. I don’t believe you though, I mean come on! You’re Thomas Sanders! I know they like me but why would a host love the dark side of creativity! I know what I said before and yes, I did want it, but like-listen to yourself!”

“You don’t believe me? If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it. I wouldn’t do that to you, Remus.”

The trait pouted once more and crossed his arms. Huffing, he said,”Well how would I know that?”

“You want me to prove it?”

“Well yeah!”

In one swift motion, Thomas stepped forward and pecked the trait’s lips gently. He snorted when Remus went uncharacteristically red all the way to the tip of his ears. He stuttered and opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“I-you-oh my god-you just did that-“

“I did. Was it okay?”

In seconds a beaming smile spread across Remus’s face and he laughed.

“Very. Do it again.”

And again, Thomas kissed him, only Remus cupped his face and pulled him closer. Thomas hardly minded though, and he grabbed the aspect by the waist and kissed him harder. It didn’t surprise him when Remus didn’t hesitate to utilize his tongue but to Thomas, it felt so good.

“Does this mean we’re dating now?” asked Remus when they pulled away for a gasp of air.

Thomas smiled. “It can if you’d like it to.”

“I would.” Thomas chuckled when the duke pulled him in for a tight hug, resting his chin on top the host’s head.

“By the way, your mustache tickles.”

————————

Deceit and Thomas

Generally, Deceit hadn’t minded that Thomas was dating all of the others. He was actually quite happy that Thomas loved them too and seeing them so bright with each other made his heart dance a little.

However, he couldn’t quite pinpoint why he’d feel a small pang of jealousy to the group, even considering that he was also dating everyone except Thomas. Normally he was choose-y with who he wanted to be with, he even wondered himself how he managed to fall in love with almost everyone.

Or everyone possibly. He thought maybe he loved Thomas too as well. And that was a problem for him when he didn’t even think Thomas would like him of all people. Sure, Thomas even liked Remus but Remus was silly and random but honestly (ironically speaking) Remus was sweet. Fluffy pickup lines and special dates weren’t his forte but he managed to show some love in his own way to the host.

With that thought in mind, he wondered why on earth Thomas appeared in his room...alone. No sides with him, not even Joan, just a softly smiling Thomas that made the human half of his face flush at the very sight of him. He stared for a second from his place barely a foot away from Thomas. This was...unusual.

“Hello, Thomas. I’m assuming you’re lost? Remus’s room is the next one over. You’ll know when you hear some classic horror screams and bloodshed.”

Thomas could only laugh at the greeting, making deceit flush harder. He merely looked down at his fingers and tapped them absentmindedly.

“No, no. I just thought that I should tell you that I love you.”

“Ah, I see that Roman and Remus must’ve upped your confidence in telling men that you love them straightforward without any type of foreplay.”

“But it’s true! I wanted to come in and ask if you wanted to be a part of the relationship!”

“That sounds lovely, but despite my function to make you lie, I feel like you are lying despite that I am not making you lie. Truthfully, and ironically said, I feel like you’re just saying that to give me a figurative reassurance.”

Thomas made a face at the trait. He squinted and raised a single brow, mouth held into pursed lips. “Well that wasn’t the answer I was expecting...That was oddly....honest of you. That’s a very internal statement that I’m not quite sure if you should’ve said out loud or not?”

“My room has very...opposite effects on me. I don’t speak in lies in here. If that makes you uncomfortable, we can leave-“

“No, no, I like this side of you. At least I know that you aren’t lying and you know that I’m not either....Wait, why did you think I was?”

“Just an odd little feeling. I just think that it’s a pity confession-“ He stopped himself with wide eyes. An expression almost pertaining to fear.

Thomas only stared in bewilderment. The normally sly and charming side was now afraid of what the host thought of him now.

“I’m sorry. Please do not take offense to that-I really didn’t mean it. Please don’t tell anyone I said that, that’s not what I meant-“

“It’s fine, Deceit. I understand.”

“You...how on earth do you understand?”

“Because that’s how I think, and how I think is how you think.”

“And you think that you loving me is pity because I was that last person? The leftover?”

“What? No, no, listen-“

“You think that I’ll just tag along and sit there while you actually love them because you actually do?!”

“Deceit, calm down-“

“No! Why would you say-no think that?! I’m just fine with the rest of them!”

“Deceit that’s not what I was saying-“

“Then what were you saying?!”

Thomas flinched at the sudden appearance of two extra sets of arms, each hand balled into a fist. He cowered lower from Deceit’s gaze, bringing his hands to the front of his chest. And only for a second could deceit see that Thomas was afraid. He’d never seen the composed trait lose his temper so quickly; he exscalted into practically screaming in mere seconds. Over a personal subject, however, Thomas could understand that...

But silence still lingered in the air, thick enough to be sliced by a very thought. And so it crumbled with two separate paths of mind, raging back and forth for words. Deceit swallowed thickly and spoke, the hands relaxing only just a little.

“I don’t feel the lie,” he closed his eyes, both stinging at the backs keeping them from spilling down his cheeks,”But there’s no truth when you said that your thoughts of pitying me just to feel like you actually loved me. Why-why is that?”

“Gosh you and Remus both. You both didn’t believe me when I said that I loved you guys. I do, I really do, but the thought of a possible paranoia that I could be simply pitying either of you crosses my mind from time to time. And I don’t pity you, I love you, truthfully. And I tried to explain that to you but you started yelling and I got scared and I couldn’t say anything...”

“Im sorry-“

“No, that was my fault. I didn’t mean to phrase it that way.”

“Sure, but I’m still sorry and wait-you really do love me?”

“Yeah...”

“Unconditionally? No pity? No lie?”

“Yes, Deceit, I do.”

“Then.....then I love you too.”

Thomas glanced back up at Deceit. The said trait was fiddling with his gloves nervously. He smiled softly at the host, who smiled back happily.

“Thank god, but that didn’t go as great as I hoped a confession would go.”

“Yeah.....also...you know...”

“Hm?”

“I always wondered if you actually had a forked tongue.”

Deceit snorted and began a fit of laughter muffled by the palm of the glove over his mouth. Adorable, Thomas thought.

“Hm, why don’t you take a look?” Deceit took a step closer to the host, tilting his head with a smirk.

With a giggle, Thomas reached to cup the scales side of deceits face and kissed him lightly. Taking the six arms Deceit had already made visual, he wrapped Thomas into a hug and leaned down to deepen the kiss. Ghosting Thomas’s bottom lip with a thin snake-like tongue, he slid the tongue into Thomas’s mouth with a hum. It almost felt like velvet, an interesting sensation that Thomas was surprised that he loved every second of.

Within seconds the two were practically in their own world, set on kissing the other until they were breathless. Pulling away, panting, they smiled. Thomas wrapped his armed around deceit’s shoulders and deceit took a set of arms to do the same, keeping the other set around Thomas’s waist, and anotherholding his hands gently, rubbing the thumbs over the backs of Thomas’s hands.

“Love you, Dee.”

Deceit just kept smiling, humming contentedly, swaying them both gently.

#thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #sanders sides #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #thomas x roman #thomas x patton #thomas x logan #thomas x virgil #thomas x remus #thomas x deceit #ts janus #janus sanders

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unwiltingblossom · 4 years

Text

Queen’s Favor (Mysme Jumin/MC AU 5/?)

Summary: Being a maid would be much easier if the cat would just let her do her job.

AU - Instead of joining the RFA via random text, MC is hired on as one of the maids assigned to Jumin Han’s penthouse. Nothing else about the setting has changed, the messenger and the RFA still exist, only the MC’s position has been altered.

You know why she doesn’t have a name yet? She’s the help.

(but really, does anyone even remember this story anymore?)

“That’s to be expected, given the time.” He made a small gesture with one hand, a minuscule dismissive wave. As if the concern was much too small to be bothered with anything grander than that. “It’s why I returned home early.”

Dear lord in heaven. He really was a super pervert after all.

Well. Maybe. It's the first coherent thought that jumped up to her after her initial confused panic, but then that was probably a knee-jerk response from the day before. Her body still ached from the crash with the ground, after all.

But...no. No, it still didn't add up. If he were a secret pervert, she'd be getting rules about how to dress before he started appearing home early. And besides that, what kind of a person would use 'the maid attacked an intruder who intended to assault my cat' as a downing rod for 'acceptable sexual target'?

Well, honestly, if anyone did, it would be a rich person.

Oh.

Oh. Her expression must have been showing some of that, because he'd stopped speaking and was simply staring at her, one brow raised impatiently as if she'd actually interrupted him and had been rambling on.

She hadn't been.

She had a very good wall between inner and outer monologue, thanks much. So expression it must have been.

"Um...have I done something wrong?" Honestly, now that his incredulous expression grounded her more into reality, that was the most likely answer. "If anything's not up to your standards, you can always just call the office-"

"That would be unnecessary." He flicked a hand dismissively. "I've already arranged a replacement."

She spluttered. It was most undignified, yes, but she would contend that compared to being caught in a closet cornered by his cat it was positively graceful.

Really though?!

That...it wasn't...did she just get fired?!

"Wh-why?"

His gaze swept across her in silence for a moment, before he tilted his head toward the cat that sat near his feet. "I'll be out of the country for three days. Ordinarily, I would keep Elizabeth the 3rd in the care of a particular employee trained in her care." Of course he would have a special assistant just for his cat. "However...this time she's turned off her phone on her vacation days."

This time?

His brows furrowed a moment, almost as if he struggled to comprehend how one of his employees had managed to so thoroughly stymie him. It was only a passing expression, though, before his gaze turned back to her. "Caring for her will take up too much time for you to clean. You will, of course, be paid the premium she usually receives for the duty."

Wait. So...not fired. Just transferred. Suddenly and non-optional, apparently. "I haven't been trained to care for a cat." That wasn't really the most pressing concern? But it's what dribbled out of her open and very confused mouth first.

His lips pressed into a line briefly, before he nodded. "It's regrettable, yes. But I'll arrange for instructions for you to follow. Adhere to them. It will be extremely obvious when I return should you fail to do so."

She squinted at him for a few moments. As of yesterday she knew he could laugh - and therefore must possess a sense of humor - but his serious expression didn't seem to hold any sort of mirth to signal the set up to a very bizarre joke. The moments passed and he simply stared at her, blinking eerily similar to the way his cat did, awaiting a response.

Granted, he hadn't actually asked a question. At all. Since he came home. But she definitely felt that hanging in the air, as if he expected an answer anyway. Maybe he forgot to just ask if she wanted the job? Maybe he expected her to ask about the details of what he expected?

She sighed and pushed herself up to her feet. Instinct told her to brush her knees clean, but his rug had nothing more than cat hair in it, and she knew well enough that trying to rid herself of any of that before she left the penthouse was a monumental waste of her time.

It's pretty rude to go talking about one's poverty in front of one's employer's abject wealth, but it really seemed important to point that out. It wasn't as if he'd know her apartment was smaller than the closet he'd found her in, and with his level of wealth he probably couldn't conceive of the idea that whatever cat food chef was in his instructions would break her bank just making Elizabeth an appetizer. If she didn't want to be insta-fired over this, there was no choice but to communicate. "My apartment isn't big enough to house her. It's small enough that I could misplace it in here. And it's near a train track, so the air and sound quality really aren't up to the standards she's used to. And frankly, the neighbor's dog - who shouldn't even be there, as it's a pet-free complex - barks from 4AM to 9AM non-stop."

"That's horrifying." He shook his head. "Elizabeth the 3rd won't be staying with you over the weekend."

Well, thank goodnes-

"You'll be staying with her here."

"...Huh?"

He gave a short, barely audible sigh, before kneeling down to gather the cat in question - who'd begun to paw at pant legs undoubtedly more expensive than her entire bed - up into his arms to pet. "Your responsibilities will solely revolve around Elizabeth the 3rd. Caring for her...and protecting her will be a 72-hour non-stop assignment. Deplorable living conditions aside, residing in your own home for that time might provide too many distractions to care for her properly."

In the penthouse? Well, honestly, now that she thought about it that did make sense. From someone as picky and pampering toward his cat, it probably would seem more sensible to him to bring in someone to sit the entire house than to just temporarily re-home his cat. And it wasn't as if she'd never house-sat for someone before. Although none of the digs she'd cared for (with the not-so-subtle suggestions left behind about cleaning them up while she was there) were quite as swanky as this one, she was at least reasonably familiar with it, given that she had cleaned it for a while now.

"Well...I'll...still need to pack up some supplies, and you'll need to make sure you've bought up enough food for her before you leave."

"...Of course anything ordered to this room from the shops below will be covered. Whether for Elizabeth or for yourself."

"Point me to the contract. I'll sign it right now. I've even got a thumbtack if you need a drop of blood." Was she coming on a little too strong there? Maybe? But three nights on that guest bed without a dog barking and free food was more than enough to put up with Elizabeth's hijinks and whatever pedantic demands she knew would somehow make their way onto her instructions.

His lips curled up in amusement, as the cat in question deftly jumped from his arms again to the floor, meandering off to attack one of her toys. "It was already signed an hour ago."

That...

That couldn't be legal.

She forgot to look up whether ultra-rich heirs could sign contracts in her place, but in her defense, that night had kept her pretty busy. She tidied up her things, made sure to notify her contacts that she'd be busy house-sitting for the weekend, and collected clothing more comfortable than her work uniform which wouldn't make her feel like some kind of homeless beggar just sitting around in his penthouse.

Sure, she'd be alone save for the cat, but she'd be judging herself.

Belatedly, she also made sure to gather up some books and bits of entertainment. Beautiful and spacious as it was, Mr. Jumin Han's apartment wasn't exactly stocked with things to keep herself entertained with when she had time to herself.

Predictably, the penthouse was already devoid of human life when she arrived, right on time.

Also predictable: not a list, but an entire pamphlet sat on the counter of the kitchen marked 'INSTRUCTIONS. READ.'

She was absolutely wrong about the pedantic demands. They weren't just hidden away in a list normal things. They were the instructions.

Nevertheless, the day passed...for once...unremarkably. As if the universe knew she wasn't technically 'working', and so it didn't bother to get out of bed. As the natural light faded for the day, sensors activated the internal lights, the transition almost seamless.

At some point in the night, the white cat hopped from her lap, abandoned its toys, and pranced off to the master bedroom. No doubt to roll around on her master's sheets and get white hairs absolutely everywhere in time for the poor new maid to have to clean them.

The entire floor itself was really the penthouse. Without the sounds she made from bustling around playing with the cat, feeding the cat, cleaning the dishes or running cleaning equipment, she could almost hear her own heartbeat in the silence.

She stretched out on the couch, each creak and crackle almost an explosion in the silence of the penthouse, and draped an arm over her forehead. The rug she usually played with Elizabeth on was comfortable, sure, but there could be no denying the couch was more comfortable than her bed back home. She probably didn't even need to use the guest bedroom at all, except to be indulgent and potentially keep herself from being smothered by cat hair in her sleep.

...It's lonely.

Yes, she lived alone. In her apartment she didn't even have an animal to keep her company. This late, she'd also often given up on texting partners who'd fallen asleep at their phones. But she heard the city. The neighbors on every side of her (sometimes getting up to things she really didn't want to hear), that infernal barking dog, the regular passing of the trains carrying people to and fro at all hours of the night.

Here...she heard nothing. The building was huge, practically a small self-contained city with employees, customers and other residents milling about on the floors below. Not even the distant clacking of heels or the rattling of the elevator could be heard from the penthouse. And it was so high up above the rest of the city the sounds on the street below wouldn't make it through the windows even when she left them open.

Cut off from the rest of the world in a bubble of isolation, so far away from the nearest human that no one could even wander up and pass close enough to be heard accidentally.

This is worth all that money, huh...?

Her lips pursed a moment. It did separate the rich from the poor, she supposed, a bubble of luxury and wealth completely untouched and unaffected by the help except when its owner desired for it to be. Wealth, distilled into an apartment building.

Her free hand fell to the ground, fingers trailing in the plush rug, and her gaze turned toward the door.

In the still silence of midnight, a part of her couldn't help but wish the ever-frustrating and strange owner of the penthouse would have second thoughts about leaving her with the penthouse for three days and return early again.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mm #jumin x mc #ooc #fic #does anyone even follow mm anymore #or have we all collectively moved on to evol x love

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boglog · 6 years

Text

Wholesome Questionare Tag Meme

Tagged by @80sglamcowboy Rules are: -Post the rules -Answer the questions given to you by the tagger -Write eleven questions of your own -Tag eleven people

This is long as Hell, friends and I apologise.

One inquisitive bitch has asked me:

1. Name one person (real or fictional) that you think you could 100% take on in a fight

Foaming mouth guy from Avatar. He’s got no stamina, barely any health, no skill. He’s unfocused and weak and my noodley nerd-ass could take him. (Though I am a little concerned he has rabies.)

2. What’s your favourite snack rn

Grilled cheese w veggies, mustard, and grilled tofu w a side of ketchup made by my roommate. It’s honestly the purest thing.

3. Which apocalypse do you think you’d do the best in? (i.e. Nuclear winter/ robot uprising/ Too many vampires, etc)

O man. I love apocalypse movies and I love survival horror (that one episode of the X Files where they’re trapped in a cabin, anybody?). I also genuinely love camping and I’m a bit of a medical hobbyist. I also watched an unreasonable amount of prepper videos on YouTube. That said, as mentioned above, I am a couch potato weekling. Furthermore, I don’t do well in conflict so if the world hierarchy collapses into a power vacuum where you have to Orange is the New Black-style intimidate ppl for supplies, I would melt and die quickly.

My best bet, it would seem, is an Arrival-esque alien apocalypse where the ones who have enough patience and sci fi knowledge to communicate w aliens are at the top of the food chain. And worst case scenario it’s better for my ego to die at the hands of an alien than a human.

Sci go apocalypses are just cleaner y'know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 4. Best and worst fandom you’ve been in? Or have you somehow managed to avoid fandom completely?

Worst has to be Steven Universe. I regret not just moving on after I got bored. Ah well.

(I also think celebrity/real ppl fandoms are a dead end.)

My other fandoms all have various pros and cons and it’s hard to pick a favourite.

Adventure Time has great fanart, great meta and ppl have yet to descend into Homestuck-ian chaos. That said, they’re quiet af. People also fixate way too much on the fake fanfic AU Fionna and Cake. I have yet to read a really good Bonny/Marcy fic and that is a tragedy (a few have come close tho). Bottom line for AT tho is that it’s my go to wholesome cartoonist fandom. I like that it has depth but that it’s generally very simple and fun and that the fans are mostly shut in animation adults.

AtLA/LoK fandom’s biggest pro is that it’s huge and you literally never ran out of quality content. I’ve even made a few friends via this decade old franchise. It’s also enjoyably rich and complex. One of my favourite (now inactive) blogs was one that connected world building and little background Easter eggs to real Chinese history and culture. That wAs so cool!! I defs think as a Chinese person it allowed me to connect to non-western culture in a socially acceptable way.

The downsides tho are many: it can be overwhelmingly complicated (esp as someone who knows jack shit abt Chinese history), people take it too seriously, The Great Shipping Wars, it’s so big it’s a little lonely, the show itself has so many flaws upon greater inspection you wonder why you wasted your time on anything related to it, it’s an Asian themed story created by white dudes who make fun of their fans, the best parts of the show were written by other writers but those same white guys get k the credit. Also as w any fandom related to POC culture, racism happens. Anyways most of you know this already. IMO the best thing to have happened do the fandom is korrasami. Now it’s just abt Asian lesbians ruling the world.

(Though I also thoroughly enjoy the Family Rivalry part of the fandom. There are so mNy dysfunctional families to choose from!)

Rick and Morty is technically speaking my newest fandom. It’s got a lot of obvious cons (pickle Rick sexists, Szechuan sauce racists, asfhkkh incest) but one other con is just how pedantic and overly analytical people are abt the world building. I can’t breathe wo being corrected. RM has a misleadingly complicated high sci fi aesthetic that begets the kind of overanalysing my brand of overanalytical nerdiness can’t handle. Too many alternate universes. It’s just too complicated.

However one thing I like is that conversely I can overanalyse the writing and characters’ psychology/relationships (which I LOVE) and ppl take me very seriously. (At least they used to.) it’s kinda validating to have your 3k word essay on an old man’s bedroom and what that signifies for his depression get over 1k notes.

Rm also attracts the fun, super talented animation crowd so there’s boundless fanart and memes. I never knew I would like a gravity falls crossover retirement home AU btwn Rick and Stan so much but the art is objectively gorgeous?? So ??

I really dislike the lack of attention the female characters get from fandom bc they’re all really great? Female rep is limited but both canon and fic really do their 2-3 tokens justice. Also the jerry hatred is getting old (that male aggression… Like… Calm down, Jake) but it’s a refreshing departure drom when Megg from family guy was the butt of the joke.

Harry Potter, one of the pillars of nerd society, has both changed my life and irreconcilably annoyed me to death. (W no thanks to the racist creator herself!) One can’t underestimate how huge the hp fandom is which offers you as many reasons to love it as reasons not to. Harry Potter’s canon has complex world building that’s also charming enough not to take itself too seriously and much the same could b said of fanon. To a degree. Certain corners of the fanbase are fantastic shitposters and meme-ers and can draw you back in like a black hole. Casually enjoying Harry potter imo is where it’s at. The fanfic is probably one of the most impressively vast. Strangers at Drakesaugh, believe it or not, still updates and not only that, I still read it.

Not casually enjoying Harry potter is, um, yikes? HP and Hunger Games love to insert themselves appropriately in real life political traumas and honestly the dedication of the fandom can be overwhelming.

The HP fanart corner of deviantart circa 2010-12 and @flocc HP comics however are the best.

Meet the Robinsons, Ye Olde Fandom, still stands to this day. (Thanks in part to me ngl) As Iroh might say, they are a proud people. MTR is so bizarre and tiny it’s the only fandom I was able to read EVERY fic summary in existence (ones published on obscure sites excepted). The fandom has never ceased to surprise me for better or worse and mostly due to its age range. The original movie was intended for 8-12 yr olds and their (jaded) parents which means that now, ten years later, the fans are anywhere between 12 and 25. It has approximately 20 pieces of professional-grade fanart and fic and I am downright serious abt the quality and thoughtful complexity of this minority of fanart. Like I shit you not some of it’s almost too dark. However, tragically, one can’t talk abt obscure Disney fandoms wo also mentioning the incest ships (this is what happens when middleschoolers have to resort to cartoons to explore their sexuality in an anti sex ed world), the disorganised crossovers, and the blinding lack of imagination. Nonetheless, that a fandom of any kind could sprout from a 90 min cgi movie before the recession, based off an obscure but objectively fascinating children’s book, is still impressive. The fandoms smallness can in many wars work to everybody’s benefit: it’s a tightly knit community w little to no drama. And lots of memes (that I mostly make) to enjoy sincerely or ironically.

I’m also going to mention, very briefly, the Twin Peaks fandom, most of whom, even the die hards, are v casual when it comes to fan content (I need more fic damnit). Nonetheless it’s a decidedly cool art kid crowd for an art house show and I really enjoy befriending twin peaks watchers.

5. What’s one hot food that you prefer cold? (or, alternatively, one cold food you like hot)

Is it snobby to say I like food to be the temperature God intended?

Like I like cold pizza and salad-y pasta but I wouldn’t mind if everything were room temperature as long as the food itself was well made.

6. ya like jazz? What music do you enjoy listening to? Can you recommend any songs/ artists from that genre?

I think in some contexts I can like jazz. It’s very cosy and nostalgic, it can make you feel like a grand dame stepping out of your limo into your martini filled mansion as records pop around you and your fur carpeted living room. I also occasionally like jazz covers and alternate genres of jazz like electro swing etc.

Generally though I also think jazz is a little antiquated and a little all over the place. I lean more towards the ambiguous minimalism of mellow techno music like Jonna Lee, Grimes, Björk, early Lorde, Yasmine Hamdan, Austra, TRST, etc

I mean I don’t stick to just one genre (I imagine most ppl don’t). I like alternative (Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, Joanna Newsom) and some musicians who seem to completely exist outside of genre like iMonster and the Gorillaz. Not to mention straight up pop like broods, Ellie goulding, lady gaga and Lana del rey. (I mean technically Ldr isn’t pop but u get the ideer)

7. What binge worthy show do you like?

So many man. There are so many out there! Twin peaks, Transparent, Love, Grace and Frankie, Adventure Time, House of Cards, Bojack Horseman, Rick and Morty, Mad Men, Girls, Broad City, Black Mirror, Avatar TLA, 6Teen, Chowder, Over the Garden Wall, Flapjack, the first season of Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, etc

The list goes on. I’m a TV fiend.

8. What’s an old meme that you miss and wish would be brought back?

Always liked the Gothic [x town or whatever] meme. It was like a text post version of the cursed images meme. Currently I’m really enjoying the song from another room meme and I hope even after it gets old it’ll make a comeback.

9. Tell me your aesthetic  

O man. That’s a can of worms! Okay. Deep breath.

I like futurism, of all kinds. I like strong lines and clear shapes. I like colour blocking and minimalism and glass and holographic LED neons. I like white Japanese urban tiled buildings. I like aliens and ruins and cubes and white and colour blocking and black. I like technology and aliens and Comme des Garçons and Issey Miyake. Rooms that are empty but for one light and one window and one plant. Love that.

I like the midcentury cubism and Mod and 30’s futurism. Clear and strong industrial shapes and curves and post modernist abstractionism.

I also love nature, I love most every Björk and Iamamiwhoami music video. I love the mountains and the forests and the desert and the winter tundra and most of all I love the water. A vast expanse of sky and sea w so many colours and textures. I love the 2000s and funny blob shapes and y2k’s obsession w secondary colours and shiny round things. Love pink. I am a grown adult who will never tire of pink. (Though I don’t really like when people overdo pink.) I love cursed image family photos taken with flash in a suburb. I love the grime and the sanitary aesthetic of suburbs and hospitals and brutalist office spaces. The fluorescent lights of the institution but with purple carpeting!

I love 70s mod and I love colorful 80s brutalism I like it when houses are shaped weirdly and they have carpets and polished curved wooden countertops and spacious nothingness where everything looks clean and cosy and bizarrely ugly and it all looks like an art gallery w too many plants.

I also really love maximalism and wood and detail and fur and velvet and embroidery and silk and windows and wood carvings.

I love 70s kitsch like John waters movies and Shrimps designer fake fur CDG17 where they just piled on knickknack after knickknack onto white dresses w food long trains. Toys and novelty items and lamps shaped like a woman’s leg in a fishnet stocking. (See also: most Tim burton movies, wes Anderson, Carrie fishers house)

An overwhelming mishmash of wool patterns with clean cubic 70s architecture and so many plants and windows and wallpaper and candles and cobwebs. Also really like witchy mourning jewelry and essentially every house in Harry potter. Love the unfortunately racist boho/hippie aesthetic. Any house designed by bill kirsch is a masterpiece. Woven baskets on the ceiling piles of hats and art supplies everywhere. Stuff!! Everywhere! Hidden passageways reading nooks fireplaces the Pink Palace from Coraline!

Everything!!!

I’m a cartoonist who’s a nerd for design so I like when concepts are taken to the extreme in a humourously charming and clear-minded way. Whatever aesthetic someone chooses, they should go all out and really dedicate themselves to the highest form of that aesthetic. It has to be perfect without being sanitary of fake. It has to be alive yet beautiful, frozen in one perfect moment.

10. Favourite time of day and why?

Dusk. I think it’s a nostalgia thing. I loved the hours before bed time as well the hours before dinner when it was getting dark and the sun was reflecting freaky colours along the horizon while I ran around the grass. It’s cozy but it’s spacious and adventurous. So many things can happen at dusk!

  11. You have the choice to live in any fictional universe - which one do you pick and why?

Harry Potter!!! You get the best of both worlds: magical, over-romanticised Victorian/medievalism, wish-fulfillment surrealism and wifi. It’s great. Likelihood of dying is so low, medicine is so advanced and even then ppls n°1 choice of lethal weapon (Avada Kedavra) is painless. Me and Luna could hang in her garden. I’d never have to pay for the subway again. I could live a nomadic life in a tent w infinite space. If you chose to live as a wizard amongst Muggles you’re basically god and you can cheat capitalism. Gravity is my bitch! And I’m not gna lie my dream house has always been a combination of The Burrow, the Lovegood house, and Shell Cottage.

My turn to pick your brain:

1 Favourite texture?

2 Favourite smell?

3 Favourite children’s book/children’s TV show? (I’m talking about the bizarre abstract ones for toddlers)

4 Best and worst prank you’ve ever pulled?

5 Weirdest beginning of a friendship?

6 When you’ve been in fandom for a while you start to notice you’ve a habit of staying in the same corners. What corner are you in? Are you part of the fluffy ship corner? The intense world building spec meta corner? The shitpost comic fanart corner? Etc

7 If you could invent a class that would be obligatory for all high schools across your country what would it be?

8 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve gotten at Halloween while trick or treating?

9 Weirdest family tradition of yours?

10 Describe your significant other (or your crush, or your dream partner or if you’re aromantic your fave person) through only TV references.

11 Favourite piece of dialogue in a movie?

I don’t know 11 ppl but nonetheless tagging: @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat @skairheart @nochangenohope @eventheslightestrayofsunshine@autistic-jaredkleinman@phoenixkluke

…and YOU (if you were not mentioned above and so choose to accept this mission)

#tag meme #u #food m ?

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garden-ghoul · 7 years

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the... hobblog...

“no I’ll come up with a better name for it, possibly”

special thanks to vv who has continued to support my addiction, by which I mean has continued to push more tolkiens into my hands, the better to addict me. And now without further ado LET’S GET STARTED! with

AN UNEXPECTED PARTY

No sorry false alarm, before we do that I want to talk about this kind of puzzling note on the 2nd edition.

[In chapter 5] the true story of the ending of the Riddle Game, as it was eventually revealed (under pressure) by Bilbo to Gandalf, is now given according to the Red Book, in place of the version Bilbo first gave to his friends, and actually set down in his diary. This departure from truth on the part of a most honest hobbit was a portent of great significance.

I honestly can’t tell whether they’re saying that he changed the end of chapter 5 from real events to fake coverup events, or vice versa, or another third thing. If anyone can enlighten me on this, say, someone who obsessively studies the revision history of Tolkien’s works, hmu.

AN UNEXPECTED PARTY

We spend the first couple paragraphs describing what a hobbit hole is. My favorite part is that all the best rooms are on the left side, because there aren’t any windows on the right. I am sensing that this hill is quite a bit larger than the cute little “we draped some sod over a house” sized hill from the movies. Tolkien also does this charming self-interrupting style of thing, where halfway through a sentence he pretends he just remembered that you, the reader, don’t actually know what a hobbit is because it’s something he made up. Grandpa Johnald is telling you a story but he’s only an Okay storyteller.

I suppose hobbits need some description nowadays, since they have become rare and shy of the Big People, as they call us.

Oh okay this explains a FEW things I was indignant about. Hobbits weren’t always shy and good at disappearing, maybe. It’s a device to explain why you, a 10-year-old child sitting next to the stove, have never seen one even though they are totally real. Probably I am OVERSELLING the point that this is a children’s book in my analysis. Whatever. We spend a bit of time on Bilbo’s pedigree: his mother is Belladonna Took (the best name) daughter of the Great Took, which explains why Bilbo is a little weird.

One morning Bilbo is sitting on his stoop smoking a preposterously long pipe (it reaches down to his neatly brushed toe-hair, which, holy shit, why do we never hear about hobbits grooming their toe-hair) when Gandalf turns up. “Good morning,” says Bilbo, who is happy.

“What do you mean good morning?” asks Gandalf, who is feeling pedantic and possibly grouchy. Then he lists some options, because it’s in his programming to be helpful. It turns out that he’s grouchy because he’s in a great hurry to find someone who will do adventures but everyone around here is, well, a hobbit.

“Pity,” says Bilbo, and pointedly starts reading his mail.

“I’m Gandalf,” says Gandalf.

Bilbo immediately regurgitates a bunch of Gandalf Stories he’s heard. ‘You will notice already that Mr. Baggins was not quite so prosy as he liked to believe, also that he was very fond of flowers.’ Hehehe. He seems excited about “adventures” in theory but in practice wants nothing to do with them.

Gandalf threatens promises to take him on one anyway. It will be very amusing for me, Gandalf assures him. Bilbo runs inside and tries not to slam the door, because one doesn’t offend a wizard.

The next day he remembers he accidentally invited Gandalf for tea when he answers the door, but Gandalf is Dwalin the dwerrow now. (I’m experimenting with blogging The Hobbit and only using ‘dwerrow’ just to see what it would have been like). Dwalin comes in and starts hanging up his stuff, and so Bilbo has no choice but to uncertainly invite him in for tea. Another knock comes on the door while they’re having tea, but it’s still not Gandalf. It’s another dwerrow named Balin, who declares himself at Bilbo’s service.

"Thank you!" said Bilbo with a gasp. It was not the correct thing to say, but they have begun to arrive had flustered him badly. He liked visitors, but he liked to know them before they arrived, and he preferred to ask them himself. He had a horrible thought that the cakes might run short, and then he-as the host: he knew his duty and stuck to it however painful-he might have to go without.

This passage is cute. Bilbo’s social anxiety has lain dormant his entire life because he was never stressed out enough to notice it, because Hobbiton is incredibly boring. Anyway Bilbo doesn’t know what to do with interlopers, so he’s just extremely polite and gives them anything they want. Ya pushover. As more dwerrows arrive he gradually gets more polite, if not less stupidly agreeable.

Bilbo is so stressed by the logic puzzle about getting all his guests the thing they want to eat and drink that he opens the door really hard the next time, and four dwerrows fall on their faces on his doormat. One of them is Thorin, who is Very Important, and he’s pissed about this kind of welcome, but Bilbo apologizes so many times that Thorin eventually goes “please don’t worry about it.” Also Gandalf. Another fun thing I want to mention is that the dwerrows who have already come in are talking local politics ( “the depredations of dragons...”) and it makes me wonder if they’re like, not all from the same place? Is this a long-awaited reunion for them? Have most of them been away on business?

Bilbo has to run around serving the dwerrows and gets very irritated. “Confusticate these dwerrows!” he says out loud. Fili and Kili come to help bring in the plates. After a while they have to clear the table, and all the dwerrows start singing in unison either an astonishingly well-improvised or a troublingly well-researched song about how annoyed Bilbo is with their careless treatment of his dishes. Like I get that this is a musical and they’re not literally performing an impromptu musical number, but still. I like to think that Gandalf told them exactly what Bilbo Baggins Hates so they could threaten to do it. When they come back they all bring out their instruments, every one of them plays an instrument. Thorin plays harp, which means that he is my new favorite.

I did record an impromptu rendition of the song the dwerrows sing, but you don’t get to hear it because I remembered that it requires FILE FORMAT CONVERSION. Unless you twist my arm (“ask me to post it”). Bilbo likes it a lot though, it makes him feel the Adventure Emotion. Thorin refuses to let Bilbo turn on a light Because Dwerrows. Bilbo knocks something over because it’s dark, and Gandalf shushes him. Rude.

"Gandalf, dwerrows and Mr. Baggins! We are not together in the house of our friend and fellow conspirator, this most excellent and audacious hobbit - may the hair on his toes never fall out! all praise to his wine and ale! -" He paused for breath and for a polite remark from the hobbit, but the compliments were quite lost on poor Bilbo Baggins, who was wagging his mouth in protest at being called audacious and worst of all fellow conspirator, though no noise came out, he was so flummoxed.

Cute! May the hair on his toes never fall out! Thorin is much nicer when he’s drunk. Thorin goes on in a long-winded and self-important manner, but does mention that “none of us are going to come back,” whereupon the dwerrows find Bilbo having a panic attack on the rug. He is fierce as a dragon when he’s roused, Gandalf assures them. I am strongly reminded of that time Shou was like “no no Shigeo will make a GREAT attack dog you just have to kill her entire family so she’ll be mad!” Luckily for Bilbo, he doesn’t have a family at the moment. So! Tolkien takes a brief paragraph to note that one of Bilbo’s ancestors, Bullroarer Took, invented golf by accident while murdering goblins in a truly horrible way.

Bilbo, foolishly, really wants the dwerrows’ good opinion, so he says “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove myself to you!” Nobody thinks he will be a good burglar at all, except Gandalf. Do we ever find out why Gandalf chose him for this? They’ve never actually met before.

Thorin gets out a map and starts expositing at it, in a mumble. They’re trying to come up with a plan of attack for Smaug, and they ask Bilbo’s opinion, as Expert Burglar. Since he is nothing of the sort he asks “um, what’s going on?” (but with a lot of fancy words) and hopes they’ll forget he’s supposed to know anything. Thorin tells the story of Smaug’s coming, but like, it’s really clear he’s using the song as a template for his story. He uses all the same imagery and everything.

Gandalf tells about how he got the map from Thorin’s father (who he sprung from Dol Guldur) and then went off in search of Thorin to deliver it. Bilbo tries one last time to get out of going, and then everyone goes to sleep. This was a particularly dense chapter so no more for tonight.

#hey guess what everyone I got a RICE COOKER #this means I am LEGALLY AN ADULT #blog of the rings #the Ring is THERE okay

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winesympathy-blog · 4 years

Text

Wine & Sympathy - Episode 3: Back At It Again [Transcript]

Show Notes:

We sit down with actress and make-up artist, Jennifer Holt, who discusses getting back into the acting game after taking some time off. We talk about what it's like to raise a child actor, being back in the audition seat, and how the corona virus has been affecting her daily life.

Co-host: Asabi Goodman

Co-host: Vanessa "Ness" Bristow

Guest: Jennifer Holt

Social Media & Website Links

Facebook: www.facebook.com/winesympathy

Instagram: www.instagram.com/winesympathy

Twitter: www.twitter.com/sympathywine

Website: www.winesympathy.page

Guest Links

Website: www.facebook.com/jennifer.jbholt

Instagram: www.instagram.com/jennifer_holt

[START]

And hello!

Hi everybody, this is Vanessa.

And this is Asabi and together we are...

BOTH

Wine and Sympathy!

Well today we actually have one of our famous special guests that we keep talking about.

Yes, such a treat, such a treat and I'm excited to get to know this person.

I know.

Yes.

Okay, I'll do a little bit of an intro. So today our special guest via phone, due to COVID-19, is Miss Jennifer Holt.

Woohoo!

Jennifer is known for her roles in Flipper, Pacific Drive, Beverly Hills Family Robinson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and is currently in pre-production for the new indie production, The Witches Knight, which is so cool.

It looks cool.

I like witches!

Yes, and it's not like NIGHT, it's KNIGHT like a Knight.

Knight!

Yes. As in swashbuckling. Ha ha ha!

She's also...a little bit of history about Jen...she was in the running to be Miss Saigon for Andrew Lloyd Webber when he first brought Miss Saigon to Australia. Now that's kind of how we know each other from our musical theatre history. She's also a working hair & makeup artist in many productions, and is the mother of the fabulous teen actor, PJ Holt. So, recent changes, Jen, you've decided to jump back in front of the camera. Can you tell us why?

Why? Well, actually my son has been pushing me to go back in front of the camera. He actually found old videos of my musical theatre time. You know, the old VHS?

BOTH

YES!?

I am currently doing that, VHS to DVDs lately.

She has some shocking stuff.

Well, he found a couple of them when he was younger, and he's been asking me why don't I do it since he does it? And my old agent, Peter Glover, who is a producer now. His daughter is actually one of the producers of "Tidelands" and what was the other one? Oh my gosh.

The Witches Knight?

Oh, no, no. She's a producer for ABC. Oh, sure. Harrow. Yes, she is part of Hoodlum.

Harrow? I've been on that show. Yes, Hoodlum. I know them very well

And they just convinced you to jump back in front...

Yes. Yeah. So she and Peter are father and daughter, and they used to be my agents.

Okay.

And Peter Glover actually used to say, "get your butt into gear, Jen, and get back in front of the camera."

That’s fantastic!

That's good, too, because you are a woman of the same age as us.

Yes.

And that's one of the things about this podcast that we're talking about. What it is like to be a woman in her 40s.

Prime! Just say it, a woman in her 40s.

BOTH

[Laughter] The new 20s!

Okay so double 20s! What's it like to be in the performing arts? As you? How do you feel going back into it now?

Okay, it's been a while since... Well, it hasn’t been a while. But to start going back there and putting myself out and auditioning. It's kind of daunting. Yeah?

BOTH

Yeah.

Because the fact that I think to myself, “Oh my god, I'm old.”

You're not old, but we know how you feel.

You're experienced, NOT old!

Yeah but do you know what I mean? Yeah. What can I...What roles can I play? And sometimes I don't get to play the role that I like to play anymore. Does that make sense?

Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

Yeah. And then sometimes, though, there is one that I would like to play, ones that I'd like to play a certain age, our age group, and then sometimes they say, "No. You don't look old enough to play that part.” But I am that old.

Yeah, that's right. We get that.

Because we don't look our age. It’s super weird.

Well, I mean, I think it's that the "powers that be" have this idea of what a woman in their 40s looks like. And you know, when women in their actual 40s rock up. They're like "Oh, you're not exactly what we had in mind. We need somebody who looks a little bit... "

BOTH

Older!

Well, they should open it and make it women in their 50s instead of women in their 40s.

Exactly.

I think it's marketing's fault or advertising.

Who knows? I think people just see someone on television and they go, “Oh, that person must be in their 40s,” because...Let's be honest, when you were in your 20s what did you think a 40 year old looked like?

Old.

Yeah, exactly. [Laugh]

And wrinkly. Hey, Jennifer. Tell me about The Witches Knight.

Oh, at the moment I can't really say anything.

NDA [Non Disclosure Agreement].

Well that was a little bit of a "boom boom"....

Now Jennifer, this is Asabi here, and I know we haven't met, but you know I did a little bit of IMDb stalking on you. And it turns out that we worked on the same project together - Project One Shot - back in the day. Remember that? I played one of the Real Housewives of Sanctuary Cove.

Oh yes, you guys would have been at that table in the restaurant. Yes. The really stuck up housewives!

Yes, that's right. And they gave us free food and free champagne. It was really nice.

It sounds like a great gig!

You guys got the best spot, just so you know; no one else got to eat, in the whole production!

They put tonnes of food in front of us all day long. And it was just like little finger foods. But still, it was nice. And they were like "Eat, eat it. We made it just for you!" So it was really good.

Well then we would've met then, for sure.

Yeah, definitely.

I was actually in that section.

Oh, okay. Then, yes. So we would have met each other.

That's what's so crazy about Brisbane, or Queensland, but Brisbane specifically. We all kind of know each other. It's like, you know, the 12 degrees or seven degrees of Kevin Bacon. The seven degrees of BrisVegas.

Yeah, that's right. We should make that a game.

We should make that a thing?

We Should.

Well, we’ll figure it out, and we'll get back to you.

With each guest, we’re like, “so how are we connected?”

Now, Jennifer, tell me as a female artist, how do you do everything that you do? You're a mom, you obviously have a job. You're obviously pushing your career and doing everything that we do to survive. How do you do it? How do you cope?

How do I cope? Good question. Do you want me to lie a little bit? I'm kidding. Seriously? Um, it's a really good question. I just do, I focus on well, most of my focus is helping my son cause he gets more auditions than I do, due to his age, and his look, he is better looking than me.

Never.

We do have the same agent.

Oh, well see...

That’s cute.

So... but he is...but coping with everything, it's... Ohhh, it's a lot of reorganizing beforehand. Does that make sense? I have to think of everything that needs to be done at least a day, a week ahead.

It's all about time planning, isn't it?

Does that make sense? It's, it's, and it’s not fun.

No, I can only imagine your calendar must be crazy. Just completely chock full of appointments here and there for you and your son.

Yes, it's basically getting up in the morning. Okay, remind myself what's on my agenda. So I have to prepare everything. If something like, well, my son’s gotta go to school, so I got to take him to school and do everything else. I mean, he's only 13, he should go to, you know, make his own lunch. However, I'm a bit pedantic about what he eats. So, I wake up early in the morning and I make and cook his breakfast. I cook all his lunches so he goes to school with proper food, and then I come back home after dropping him off and I go into the computer and I'm on the phone.

And you are doing stuff like our podcast! In your history of everything that you've done, which everyone knows about and we can also check you out you've got a Facebook page don't you? What’s...what's your link to that?

Oh it's my name is Jennifer Holt, oh my gosh what is my Facebook page?

That's okay we don't promote ourselves well either. That's all good. We will we will definitely put a link to your Facebook and your socials.

[Laughter] What's your best experience in your career to date? What would, in your mind, is like, the first thing that comes to your mind as being like the best experience so far?

Best experience? Ah, just one?

Okay, give us a couple.

Give us your top ten!

I mean, to me, working with amazing other talents is, I think...I can't really say I liked working on Dr Jekyll & Hyde over, over Flipper or anything like that. I just...I don't know. I just love just working with creative people. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. It's like my son the other day he received a trophy from Texas for his little film that he wrote. I was more excited than he was. And I said, “Oh My God, honey you won!” And he goes "Oh, thanks Mom". So I said “okay great, don't jump out of your skin” stop...

I think he realizes that it's from Texas. [Laughter] Not to degrade any of our Texas listeners, if we have any but...I'm from Oklahoma. So you know... [Laughter]

You know, I said to him, aren't you happy? He says, "But Mummy, I don't actually do it for the trophy. I like the trophy, but I do it because I really love what I do." That's the same thing; I think that's the feeling that I have as well. I enjoy being on set. It's my happy place. It's my son's happy place. We actually get on really well when we're both on set. Funnily enough.

Have you ever done anything together?

Oh, there was a Commonwealth Games commercial. I was...They wanted me to drive him...pretending I'm driving him to his swimming training. That was one. Oh! He's actually in The Witches Knight, as well.

Oh, fantastic. The one that we can't talk about. Yeah.

Yeah, well, he got cast before I did.

And see there is already a picture for it up on IMDb.

Oh. Did you see the picture?

I did, yeah.

Which one? Of me looking really glamorous?

Let me see. I’ll have to look at it again.

Oh the actual or the mock up poster?

Yeah, I think it’s the mock poster, which is very cool. Very, very cool.

It is cool. Now obviously being part of this crazy BrisVegas community that we're in, how do you find it for casting? You said before that your son got more auditions than you did.

Okay, with PJ he doesn't get a lot of Australian auditions. He gets some more of American, because he has an agent in Australia, as well as LA, and all his auditions are all American/Canadian based auditions.

And why do you think that is?

Because he doesn't have an Aussie accent.

Right. See? And I think that's a very important insight for Australia. Because I suffer from the same thing. I don't have an Australian accent either.

Yeah. He has your accent.

Yeah, yeah. And I get a lot of auditions for American based shows that are filming here, but rarely do I get auditions for the Australian shows that are here. Or I just get cast as an extra. And I love...I love being on set as you said, you know, there's just something about being around creative people...

But, you’re more than just an extra.

Exactly. And what sucks is that they see me and they're like, "Oh! Let's put the camera on her." So then I get seen...

And then you open your mouth!

That's right! I get seen in that one little thing and then I can't get cast as anything else because, you know, I've played plain-clothes detective on Harrow for the last three seasons, and I'm like, “Give me one line. I can say no. I can say no. I can say it like an Australian. I could say NO [in Australian accent].” And there you go.

That was so "Aussie."

That was a bit Aussie. It was a bit scary!

You have a bit of an accent too, Jennifer.

Accents. I do. I can have her accent as well.

A little bit. Yeah, not bad. Not bad at all.

Now with a Southern accent anybody can do a Southern accent...

I agree with that girl, anybody can do a Southern accent. It's so simple.

We will leave that one over there...

But yeah, so with auditions and stuff even with myself because Australia - we're talking 20 years ago, yeah. More than 20 years ago - it wasn't as multicultural or multi-ethnic when it comes to television or film. Vanessa, you would agree to this, unless it was musical theatre because no one really sees you up close.

Yeah, that's right and they could put paint on your face to make you look white.

But for Films & TV, as you may have seen on my IMDb, all my stuff is all American as well, because I played Mexican.

Oh, a hot mess. A hot Mexican mess. So, what do you feel the state of Australian Film & TV productions are now? Do you feel that they are becoming more diverse?

Yes, I think so. They're getting there. They are getting there but it's extremely slow. It took over 20 years.

Yeah. And I think it's you know, I get...this might make me sound racist, I don't know. But sometimes I get turned off when all I see is just white people on a show and I'm like, “Oh, another one. Another one,” because I look around Australia and Australia is a very diverse place. You know, you've got people from all over the world here in Australia. And it's amazing and gorgeous and beautiful and the relationships that we all have because of the diversity and then you go on to television and you just see this really...

Whitewash

I'm not gonna say whitewash...

But I can ‘cause I am white, its one dimensional bullshit.

Yeah. It's just kind of like the same stories over and over, and, you know, there's no diverse perspective that you're getting from Australian Film & TV. I'm saddened that your son doesn't get more rolls because they're over 10,000 Americans that live here. I don't know how many Canadians live here. But you know, our accents aren't that far apart from each other.

They're very similar until they start saying "going out."

Yeah, that's right. There are places in America if you get along the border, that American/ Canadian border where they all have the same accent. America is just as diverse in accents as the UK. Well, maybe not as much as the UK. The UK is crazy. But America is just as diverse in its accents. And just because, you know, we don't all sound exactly the same coming from America. And I think there's a tonne of us here. There's a tonne of diversity here in Australia, and I feel that it needs to be reflected in our Film & TV.

I agree. Hey, Jennifer, what's your favourite wine?

Church Block.

Church Block? Nice. Red or white?

Red. I'm actually on my alcohol fasting. I do it every year.

Oh! Tell us about that.

Every year, I don't touch alcohol for six months.

Six months?

Well, we're not hanging out until you are done.

That's not...no...wait a minute. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. So, you spend half a year fasting? That's half a year.

That's a long time [general mumbles and laughter]. Why do you do that?

Just to get my body back and rejuvenate.

Okay, how much do you drink in the other six months?

[Laughter] That's a different podcast.

[Laughter] Well this is Wine & Sympathy.

I'm sympathizing with you. What are you three months in? What, do you start on New Year's and then just go through to June or July?

Well actually, no. I was supposed to start after New Year's, but at the time I was still overseas stuck in a hotel. So what else can you do in a hotel room?

MINIBAR!

And then you get to the sky lounge. I started, actually...I came home in January. So once I finished my bottle of gin that I brought back, I thought okay, that's it. Six months it is. So I've got until July.

Oh, that's a long time.

So, I'll come over in July and we'll have...you can make your favourite dish...

Or we’ll have you over to do another podcast.

She is a really good cook.

Yeah. While drunk!

I will drink while you cook for me, that sounds like a plan.

I love how Ness just invites herself over, “And you will do the cooking. Thank you.” [Laughter]

I love to cook, she knows that.

That's awesome. Well, our podcast equipment is mobile so it can go anywhere.

So you just invited yourself? [Laughter]

BOTH

[Laughter] I sure did. Oh, well, I invited Jen to do another podcast.

End of July, hopefully we'll be allowed to have gatherings then.

Gosh, how are you coping during this crazy COVID-19 time?

I'm okay, um, it gives me time. I've cleaned the house several times over. Every morning, I don't know why, I just, every morning, I disinfect every door handle. (mumbles of agreement) I catch myself and what are you doing? There's no one else here, you haven’t left the house.

Oh but it's good. You never know, germs can just, you know, it's like osmosis or something...

We've been...we've been okay. We've been okay. We’ve just been laying low. PJ is...I'm helping PJ write his script. A script idea that he has, because he wants to film it. So I said, “Okay, well let's just...we've got plenty of time to write it.”

Got any roles for two 40 year old women? One called Asabi. One called Ness.

Hey? [Laughter] Write us in. Write us in as 30 somethings. [Laughter]

Ha ha - early 30s, thank you, and all the 40s women come. So, anyway, we've been doing that and I’ve been gardening. I've been cooking a lot. Honestly, if I was drinking and cooking the way I've been, I need a liposuction at the end of this covid!

Oh my god! What’s your favourite...What’s your favourite thing to cook?

Japanese.

Japanese food. I love Japanese food. Chawanmushi is probably my favourite Japanese dish. Do you know that dish?

No.

It’s like an egg custard and it has a little bit of vegetables in it.

It’s a dessert?

No. It’s not a dessert.

It’s weird.

What?

You said egg custard.

Yeah. It's delicious. It's actually very savoury. It's very savoury. And it has a little roasted chestnut in the middle. It's kind of like hidden in the middle. Yeah, it's my favourite, favourite Japanese dish. And yeah, it's great. You can't get it outside of Japan.

We can't have any nuts in the house.

Nut allergies?

Oh no, that's sad.

Full on nut allergies.

Yeah, that's hectic. Do you have an epi pen, because I love hitting people with needles. That's another podcast.

That is a very different podcast. [Laughter]

Yeah. We have an epi pen in every room, so we're good. We've got that covered.

Oh that’s good. Nice, nice. Alright, so we're gonna finish up here. But I'm going to have a beautiful photo of you on our Facebook page.

Yes.

...and some links to your Insta and your Facebook. And we're going to check in again in a couple of months’ time, actually in six months when you're cooking for us, because I wanna know, I mean, you're only just stepping back into the spotlight, so to speak. I want to know how you go. This is really fascinating for me, and obviously, I love you. And I just think it's really important that, as females, that we stay connected, and we lift each other up and support one another. And I do support you 100%.

Yeah. Thank you so much for having a chat with us. Yeah, and we definitely look forward to seeing all that you have coming up.

Thank you. Thanks for having me, guys. That was fun.

It was improv!

But we are actors, that's right. Improv. Yeah. [Laughter]

What happened to method acting?

Oh, well, you know. [Laughter] I think we're always method acting.

Yeah, I think that went away when we had a glass of wine!

I think we become method actors.

Alright. Thanks very much to our wine sponsors this evening. Me.

ALL

[Laugh]

Thanks a lot to Jennifer Holt for being part of Wine & Sympathy.

Thanks, Jennifer.

Bye bye!

[END]

Listen to us on iTunes, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, or your pod catcher of choice!

#wine #sympathy #40-somethings #Brisbane #Australia #America #New Zealand #arts #love #life #relationships #music #movies #makeup #Witches Knight #film #auditions #children

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ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

[RF] The Cannibal

I am sitting at my desk, alone, surrounded by empty bottles and cigarette smoke. I can feel the start of a headache growing deep within my forehead, so in a futile attempt to distract myself I try glancing through my books picking volumes out at random turning from philosophy to self-help books, from poetry to financial manuals, all to no avail. Eventually, after becoming bored of being bored, I pick up my pen, turn on some music, and start writing. I cast my mind back to sitting outside in the heat, staring at the scenery, and forcing my fingers to type some book review or another that I was meant to be working on. In the distance I hear a car accelerating, then I see Julian’s BMW pulling up in front of me, and I see Tom get out and walk towards me.

“Hey man, can I bum one?” Said Tom sitting down in the chair next to me and running his hands through his hair.

“Sure, why are you in Julian’s car?” I asked handing him a cigarette and my lighter.

“Oh he lent it to me… What are you working on?” He said from in between puffs of smoke.

“It’s nothing important just a review of some book for the magazine.” I said.

“Any good? The book I mean.” He said.

“No. I it’s actually the worst thing they’ve made me read so far. Take a look at this shit.” I said pointing to a black paperback lying on the table. “As far as poetry goes it’s fucking pedantic and that title, The Dark between the Stars, I know that poets are pretentious but… Jesus!”

“Jesus… what do you think happens after people die?” He broke in suddenly, his eyes darting around first from the book, to me, to the car, to other houses, back to me then starting the whole cycle over again.

“Well… I mean… Ok as far as I can tell a priori, from books… It’s impossible to completely do away with the notion of a god as it’s impossible to prove something doesn’t exist. However I do think that all the religions we’ve managed to come up with are wrong, Christianity in particular is nothing more than a bad plagiarism, but probably after we die our brains stop functioning and so do we.” I said.

“Don’t you think that there’s any hope that people, loved ones, that we get to see them again?” He said.

“That right there is one of the worst aspects of religion. You see it plays on our worst anxieties, mines its way into the depths of our mind just because we want to see the people that we like again.” I said.

“Can I ask you something serious then? About life?” Said Tom.

“Life is much too important to talk seriously about. Besides it’s early and I’m far to sober for that kind of discussion.” I said.

“Quoting Oscar Wilde really? How old are you?” He said.

“Hey! I will defend my right to quote Wilde no matter how old I am.” I said.

“Whatever.” He said leaning back and staring out at the suburban expanse in front of the house.

“No come on don’t be like that. What was it?” I said.

“You like the existentialists right? I’ve been around many a late night discussion that you’ve undertaken about them.” He said.

“Yes although I prefer absurdism over existentialism if only because I like Camus more than Sartre.” I said.

“Outline the concept of bad faith for me. No seeing as you like Camus how about the absurd?” He said.

“Well… hang on let me think for a second… ok the main thing that Camus was concerned about was the human desire for meaning in a meaningless world. The Catch-22 of existence, we require purpose to function but no purpose is possible.” I said.

“And when confronted with that proposition what is a person meant to do?” He said.

“If you’re Camus like five chicks at once.” I said, smiling at him as one does when they think that they’ve said something witty but still needs approval on whether or not to laugh.

“NO! Be serious!” He yelled.

“Ok… um faced with the inherent absurdity of the world Camus thinks that we should carry on anyway. To be so free that our very existence is an act of rebellion. Not to suppress any part of yourself.” I said.

“That last part, not suppressing any part of your nature, if say purely hypothetically there was a Cannibal who by his nature had to eat people. By Camus’ logic that Cannibal should be able to eat as many people as he likes despite any ethical dilemmas.” Said Tom.

“I think that you’re talking more about Sartre there, he was more inclined to natures and bad faith and stuff... But yes I would have to admit that based on Camus’ logic the Cannibal would be able to eat as many people as he likes. However based on just human morality, no people shouldn’t eat each other.” I said by now we had become much more animated and relaxed as the conversation progressed. The sun was starting to set.

“Another hypothetical then say there was a man who had a wife and that wife was pregnant. And that man loved his wife, what sort of man wouldn’t love his wife, but that wife decided to leave that man… and ran off to his friend’s house. What should that man have done?” He said.

“I’m not really sure what the point of that one was.” I said, hesitantly.

“Ok… do you remember that play that you read and then couldn’t shut up about for a whole week, Faust? Well I picked up a copy the other day and you were perfectly right about how good it was, there was this one bit that stuck with me. I am the spirit that negates. And rightly so…” He said.

“For all that comes to be deserves to perish wretchedly. Mephistopheles.” I said.

“I killed Grace.” Said Tom. “And Julian. And…”

It is difficult to convey silence in a work of prose. And it is especially difficult to convey the kind of silence Tom and I experienced then. I can’t quite remember what I said next and looking back now I’m not sure what anyone would be able to say next. However I do know that after the silence Tom explained how he had snuck into Julian’s house to find his wife, but instead of talking like he had planned, strangled her. Then he had killed Julian, stole his car and drove here. After such an explanation he pulled out a handgun… on second thoughts I’m not going to write this after all.

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satireknight · 7 years

Text

TMNT S02E11 - Teenagers from Dimension X

I’m having deja vu. I seem to remember reviewing this episode before... wait, no, that one had “Hot-rodding” in the title, so it’s otherwise completely different.

And yes, it’s time for more Neutrinos. Whee.

The Turtles are watching a monster movie, which of course prompts a discussion about movie romance, which somehow leads to a discussion about Kala, the Neutrino girl Michelangelo developed a crush on after exchanging maybe six words.

They also somehow managed to exchange glossy photos in the space of a few hours, most of which was spent saving the world and messing around at arcades. Yes, that still bugs me. I’m pedantic.

And then we cut back to the Neutrinos and ARRRGUUUGGGHHHH THEIR VOICES. Kala in particular sounds like a laryngitic who swallowed a dose of helium. They decide to go into the Technodrome for no particular reason except thrillseeking, and then start listening in on Krang’s messages.

It turns out he’s giving Shredder yet another device to deal with the Turtles, this being a Mental Neutralizer that will turn them into zombies. Mindless, that is, not rotting. And by the freakiest of coincidences, it is also functioning on the same frequency as the Neutrinos’ car.

So the Neutrinos open their own portal to Earth and zip on through, hoping to warn the Turtles.

Since they have no idea where the Turtles are... despite having been to their lair... the Neutrinos decide to buzz the Channel 6 building and get themselves noticed. Remember this in every future episode when people are skeptical or shocked by the idea of aliens.

Burne not unreasonably wants people to actually start filming the flying alien car outside the window, but April is busy going off to tell the Turtles what’s going on. Then she actually gets around to reporting what’s happening, even though the entire story is “There’s a car flying around our building.”

Shredder, Rocksteady and Bebop all see the coverage and rush off to deal with the Neutrinos.

The Turtles arrive in their blimp and say hi, which is said with such enthusiasm that Raphael starts speaking in someone else’s voice.

But before they can finish talking, the Neutrinos are shot down by Shredder and kidnapped. The Turtles pursue, but somehow the glider just refuses to do what they want and they crash.

Michelangelo’s anxiety gets to the point where Splinter advises him to meditate, but that’s ruined when Donatello zooms in on a motorized skateboard. He’s also created a tracking device that can follow the Neutrinos by their extradimensional... auras. Whatever that means.

“... and it cost practically nothing to build.” Does that mean his inventions usually DO cost a lot? Actually, where do they get money from in the first place?

Meanwhile, Shredder flips out when he discovers the Neutrinos’ starmobile has the hypersignal similar to that of the Neutralizer, and demands that Rocksteady and Bebop get it. Problem is, it got towed. Yes, they actually towed an alien spacecraft, no joke.

Then the Turtles arrive, because Shredder made the mistake of saying “What else can go wrong?”

A fight breaks out and the Turtles aren’t doing too well, until Dask switches the power of the roller coaster on. Did I mention they’re at a defunct fairground? Anyway, Shredder and his mutants are temporarily carried off, which allows for more of Michelangelo acting all moony.

They then head to the auto impound yard... I still can’t believe that... to recover the Starmobile, and arrive just as Shredder does. In fact, they manage to drive directly over Raphael’s head, somehow, and then emerge from the ground without even glancing at him.

I almost feel sorry for Shredder. They’re not taking him seriously at ALL. So the Neutrinos and Turtles fly off in the starmobile, while Shredder quietly laments the unfairness of the universe.

However, it turns out the starmobile is broken: the trilithium crystal that powers it is cracked, meaning they’re stuck on Earth for the foreseeable future. I seem to remember trilithium being something highly explosive in Star Trek, but I’m pretty sure that came a bit later.

Please, make Kala stop talking. Her voice makes my throat have sympathy pains.

To fix it, they’d need a particle accelerator, and Leonardo happens to know the location of one. Um, it would be pushing it to have Donatello know, but Leonardo of all people just happens to know of one they can use? The Convenience Fairy is beating the plot with her wand.

So they land in a crappy, ruinous slum in the middle of nowhere, scuttle into an underground facility... and find a particle accelerator. Why not find the lost treasure of El Dorado at the same time? It seems equally likely.

So they put the crystal, which has shrunk to about half its former size, inside the particle accelerator and it starts getting all glowy. Too glowy, in fact! It’s gonna esplode!

Since Shredder currently has no way of knowing where anybody is, Krang calls him up and announces that the Turtles fixing the crystal created such an energy surge that it was detectable from Dimension X. Fuck. What exactly were they doing?

Oh, and remember that imminent explosion and radioactive cloud? Donatello stops it by pushing buttons really fast. Maybe it just chose not to blow up so it wouldn’t be subjected to more of Michelangelo acting like a dolt.

Oh, and Shredder gives us a supremely lame excuse for why there’s a particle accelerator in a craphole like this: because if it blew up, nobody would care what happened to the area. That’s... really... dumb. Then they’re confronted by a robot that eats up a precious five seconds of screen time.

Also, the crystal is now the size of a scone, whereas it was the size of an engine before.

Shredder breaks in and thankfully shoots everyone, saving me from more bad Neutrinos dialogue.

And as Leonardo keels over, his Turtle Com pops onto the floor and apparently autodials April. She knows they’re in mortal peril immediately, based on... I don’t know. Psychic powers.

Shredder piles the unconscious Turtles in the Starmobile, fixes the engine, and leaves the Neutrinos on the sidewalk, presumably to be raped and killed by the revenants who roam the wasteland.

Also, the crystal has now shrunk to the point where you can’t see it.

Unfortunately for me, the Neutrinos wake up and continue talking, and really, nothing highlights my point that Kala is practically a non-character like her dialogue. Everything she says in this episode is painfully obvious or filler masquerading as dialogue like “Maaaaaan, what a draaaaaaag.”

April shows up just then, and the Neutrinos have apparently forgotten all about her even though they met her when they were last on Earth. Continuity error or then being assholes? Either works.

April then reveals that the whole area is run by a gang called the Cyberpunks, who will add nothing to the episode and never be mentioned after it. They just provide a false sense of tension that the episode doesn’t need.

Meanwhile, the Turtles are waking up.

And Shredder chooses the single stupidest way to unveil a machine: have his minions SHOOT THE CRAP OFF OF IT. Because getting a tarp was just too much work, apparently. Cover it in garbage, and then fire lasers at it.

The Turtles aren’t feeling too positive about being put into something called a Neutralizer, especially when the phrase “brain drain” was used.

Meanwhile, April manages to crash into an overturned bus that was right in plain sight, so they have to escape the Cyberpunks by blinding them with a camera flash and jumping into the sewers.

Shredder tries to activate the Starmobile, only to be immobilized with a forcefield of some kind. Yeah, whatever. At this point, I’m just craving the end of the episode.

The Turtles take this opportunity to slip out of the Neutralizer, possibly because Shredder didn’t bother to tie their legs together. And when Rocksteady and Bebop try to shoot them... wait, why didn’t they just try to kill them when they were unconscious? Anyway, the Turtles manage to free themselves by having the ropes shot off their bodies.

April and the Neutrinos show up just then, as do the Cyberpunks. The sight of the Cyberpunks is enough to send Shredder and his mutants scuttling away, and everyone else leaves in the Starmobile.

So everyone says their goodbyes, and Michelangelo gives the Neutrinos a pizza that burns their hands as they leave. And Raphael manages to cheer up Michelangelo by saying that a lack of a girlfriend means more pizza for him... am I really supposed to take this crush seriously?

VERDICT

Ever read a book or watch a movie where it’s painfully obvious that someone wasn’t contributing their A-game? That’s what this episode feels like. It feels like someone was given a basic outline of an episode, and they just sort of loosely tied everything together with a bunch of bad coincidental stuff that they didn’t care about. Exhibit A: that particle accelerator, which Leonardo - a guy who doesn’t really know anything about technology - happens to know of, which is completely abandoned and which happens to be in a spectacularly bad area. Nothing about this makes sense.

I’ve ranted before about the Neutrinos, but if anything, they’re even thinner here than they were in their debut. At least they don’t whine about adults and having fun, but you could easily combine all three of them into one character and you’d lose nothing, plotwise. In fact, Kala would literally have no reason to exist if it weren’t for Michelangelo’s crush on her... which isn’t even much of a crush, if that last line of his is any indication.

The Cyberpunks? Less than nothing. They aren’t even really an obstacle; you could literally erase them from the story, and nothing would really have to change.

The sad thing is that the beginning of the episode isn’t bad, despite the irritating voices. There was potential there. But once the crystal cracks, the entire story just sort of veers off into no-man’s-land and never comes back.

And seriously, the Turtles were unconscious and at Shredder’s mercy. Why didn’t he just kill them?

Whew, been dreading this one. On to things that don’t bother me as much.

Grade: D

#tmnt #tmnt 1987 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #satireknight

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