#this fic is almost 13k words so tbh read it on ao3

[messrmoonyy]

And she would rescue me

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

Summary- Tess doesn’t know why she stopped to help you. She doesn’t know why she thought bringing into the QZ was a good idea either. But now you’re in her apartment and she’ll be damned if she’s about to let you die. Snippets of the days you spend with her

A/N- this came to me so randomly in the middle of getting extremely frustrated over a request I couldn’t get my mind to wrap around, and I smashed out a few thousand words and decided I loved it. I feel like there’s a lot of injured reader x Joel fics but not enough Tess ones. So here’s my spin on it.

Warnings- 18+ || light discussion of injuries, I think this is sliigghttllyyy ooc tess, tess realising she can actually let someone in, tess learning to trust tbh, smut towards the end( it isn’t as detailed as usual cause Lord this OS is long I had to chop things out ) : oral ( reader receiving ) , fingering ( tess receiving), tess gets a little panicked during one part of the smut but she’s totally okay, can I get a hell yeah for tess being vulnerable?!

Word count- 13k only proof read once

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Reblogs and comments are always appreciated/ encouraged <3

She didn’t really know why she’d done it. Why she hadn’t just… kept walking. Minded her own fucking business and gone home. But how could she? She still had some kind of humanity left in her, enough that meant she wouldn’t just walk past a girl dying.

Which, when she thought about it, was almost laughable. She’d left her fair share of people dying, most of them dying because of her own actions. So. Clearly her humanity liked to pick and choose its moments. And maybe if this scenario had happened 10 more years into the apocalypse, she would have left you there.

But it hadn’t. The world was still yet to rip the final shreds of humanity out of her.

You had been in a heap at the bottom of a slope, where the concrete of the road had been bombed and now created a jagged rocky mess. She’d thought you were dead at first. No one really ever survived outside the wall on their own, so it wasn’t wrong of her to assume. And if she was truly honest she thought that checking on you was worth it, even if you were dead because you might actually have something decent on you.

Well that’s what she’d told Joel anyway. Her and Joel were close, ridiculously close. They knew each other inside and out but she always noticed she had held onto a little more of her humanity of the years where as he seemed to have buried his deeply away. She was the one that still had a tiny candle flickering in her chest, a warmth that allowed her to hope and care. Even if some days she did feel like snuffing it out. No matter how twisted and dark her mind had become over the years, she still had some light trapped in there.

And so even with Joel’s complaints she had gone over to you. Using the excuse of simply hoping to pull something useful from the corpse. But no. You’d been alive. Barely it seemed. But alive.

Firstly she’d checked you over for any sign of a bite, carefully pushing at you and moving your clothes for any sign of fungus crawling through your veins. Last thing she wanted was another infected crawling around out there, as if their journeys out of the city weren’t difficult enough as it was. So she checked, ready to shoot you in the head if she found even a single sign of a mushroom. And when she’d found none… she’d stood up to leave. You had nothing on you. Even your clothes were fucked. Nothing worth her time. You’d be dead soon and just another body littering the streets. She should just go home and get out of the rain.

But she found herself unable to move. Even when Joel chastised her for wasting time when he just wanted to get back inside the wall and drink himself to sleep.

“ I am not taking some damn girl back inside the wall “ he hissed “ This isn’t you Tess “

“ she’s dying Joel “

“ and so let her die. People die every goddamn day. Including us if we get caught tryna smuggle some girl through the wall. And what’re you gonna do when you get back? What if she dies anyway huh? “

She’d looked down at you again, debating listening to him. If you did die on the way back she’d be stuck with the task of trying to dispose of a dead body. Which she had done plenty of times before but, if they found you without any records of ever being accepted into the QZ? That could cause some problems.

But you were still alive. Somehow. Somehow you had managed to survive out there, and from the flaking dried blood on your face you’d been there a while. You were strong. She liked that.

Joel was wrapped around her finger so even with his protesting it didn’t surprise her that she’d managed to talk him round.

The real surprise was that they’d managed to get back inside the wall, through the tunnels and into her apartment unnoticed. Joel unceremoniously dumping you down on her bed and leaving with muttered curses under his breath that he wasn’t gonna help if she got caught. Which was bullshit. Of course he would.

That had been 2 days ago.

You were still where Joel had left you, but she made you more comfortable. Changed you out of your filthy clothes and bandaged your ankle. From the bruising and the swelling she assumed you’d broken it. But there wasn’t much telling what exactly you’d done, X-rays weren’t exactly easy to go and get now.

She’d also cleaned the injury on your head, washing away the dried blood and stitching up the wound. It wasn’t exactly neat. But she didn’t think you’d mind. She’d saved your life after all. She sat you up every now and again to coax water into you, smashing up painkillers and dissolving them in some hope you weren’t in too much pain.

You’d barely woken up the entire time. Occasionally your eyes would open for a few seconds, gaze around the room in a way that made you look drunk, and then pass back out again. She was starting to get worried. Because you needed to eat sooner rather than later. Dosing you with water and pills was one thing but it would be useless if you didn’t eat anything.

She kept a close eye on you. Locking the doors whenever she went out for work assignments and hoping you wouldn’t wake up and freak out whilst she was gone. But you didn’t. She came home, gave you water and meds, and then went to bed.

She’d been sleeping on the couch. The bed was big enough for two. But she guessed you waking up not only in a strange place but with a strange person next to you might just kill you anyway from the shock.

It made her want to laugh sometimes when she lay there at night. Maybe she was getting soft. Running around like Florence fucking Nightingale looking after a stranger that was probably gonna die anyway. And for what? What solid reason did she have for it?

None. Absolutely none.

But she couldn’t help it. Continuously tending to you and keeping you clean, keeping your bandages fresh. Wiping at your face and wondering where you’d come from, how you’d ended up out there. She had so many questions.

She was getting soft.

You woke up properly a few days after she’d found you. She wasn’t entirely sure if your bouts of unconsciousness had been due to the head injury or the painkillers. Maybe it was both. Either way, your eyes were fully open now.

To her surprise you didn’t look afraid. She found it made that little candle in her chest burn a little brighter for a moment. She was so used to people being afraid. She liked it, of course she did. But the change was nice for a brief moment. To see kind eyes looking at her like she was… a person.

You were both silent. Neither of you seemingly knowing what to say in the moment. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead. And she was confused to find herself stuck for words. Unsure of what to do. She usually was ten steps ahead of everyone, could read a room in an instant and know exactly what her next move would be.

But not now. Not there with you looking at her like that. It was frustrating.

“ welcome to the world of the living sweetheart “ she finally said, crossing her arms over her chest and watching you closely “ or half living I suppose “

“ where am I? “ your voice was hoarse. Probably because you hadn’t used it for so long. It was curious though. Not afraid. No fear laced your words as you glanced around the room, landing back on her and tilting your head slightly to the side like an inquisitive animal.

“ Boston QZ “ Tess finally spoke, grabbing a chair from the kitchen table and pulling it to the end of the bed and sitting down. You watched her every move, eyes following her from the table to where she sat “ I found you outside the wall. What the fuck were you doing out there huh? “

You seemed to ponder on the question for a moment, flickers of confusion flashing across your face. You didn’t know. How hard had you hit your head?

“ I’m not- I’m not sure - how long have I been here? “

“ few days “ your eyes widened at that, eyebrows flying up in a way that clearly hurt the wound on your head. Your hand came up to touch it, gingerly patting the stitched up space in your hairline. You then pulled at the blankets to see your ankle neatly bandaged up.

“ I fell “

“ I guess so “ she said with a sarcastic tone seeping its way into her words. Of course you’d fallen. It didn’t take a genius to work that one out.

“ so you… brought me here? “

“ a thank you would be fuckin nice “

“ oh! Thank you. Yeah of course “ you said quickly, blush creeping across your cheeks. She surprised herself by immediately thinking how… cute… it looked.

“ you feel okay though? “ she asked, immediately trying to rid herself of her previous thought. You nodded and yours eyes fell back onto her, sheepishly avoiding her gaze for more than a few seconds.

“ kinda hungry though “ to her surprise that made her smile, exhaling shortly though her nose in a small laugh.

“ yeah I bet “ she felt your eyes on her the entire time she was pottering around in the kitchenette deciding what food to get you. A small part of her did think she should’ve been smarter than to turn her back on you, you could’ve gotten out of bed and found one of the numerous weapons littered around the place. Killed her and escaped thinking she’d kidnapped you or something.

It made her glance over her shoulder.

“ you’re not gonna hurt me are you “ you said suddenly. It came out as more of statement or a fact than a question though, like you were telling yourself out loud to confirm it. Not really asking her.

“ if I wanted to hurt you I would’ve done it by now. Fuck I wouldn’t have even risked my ass bringing you though the wall “ she made her way back over to you, placing down a couple of the rationed food bars she had in front of you “ they taste like shit. But apparently one bar equals a whole fuckin meal or whatever propaganda bullshit the Military wanna tell us. Just tryna make us eat less “

“ thank you “ your eyes suddenly seemed ravenous, grabbing at the bar and taking a large bite

“ fuck. Slow down. You haven’t eaten in a week you keep going like that you’ll puke the whole thing up in ten minutes “ your cheeks flushed and you nodded, taking smaller nibbles from the shitty food bar. Looking at them already made her crave the fresh food from Bills. It’d only been days and she’d do anything for a vegetable that actually crunched. And had taste “ you can stay here till your ankles fixed… just be quiet. Stay out of sight. Last thing I want is my neck hanging from a fuckin rope because i got caught with an unregistered citizen. Okay? “

“ thank you “ she moved back to the table then, not really knowing what else she was supposed to say to you, and made herself look busy by counting ration cards. As if she hadn’t already gotten the exact number already twice over.

She was mildly regretting bringing you back. What was she supposed to do with you now? At least when you were asleep she didn’t have to worry about you drawing attention to yourself. Now you were awake, what if someone saw you. Or you decided you were in fact scared of her and started screaming or something.

She was such a fuckin idiot. Always acting on impulse when she was tired. And she had been after that hike from Lincoln. She was usually quite rational, but that all went out the window with you clearly. She should’ve listened to Joel. She probably wouldn’t even remember you by now if she’d just left you there. And now? Now she was stuck with an unregistered citizen in her apartment for fuck knows how long.

Way to fuckin go Tess.

“ I didn’t think.. I didn’t think you’d actually hurt me you know? “ you said as she stacked the cards, her eyes flickered up to find you watching her “ I just. I don’t know why I asked really. I actually feel pretty safe here. That’s stupid isn’t it? “

“ a little bit stupid. Yeah “ she agreed.

“ No one’s kind anymore. But you are. You helped me “ was she kind? Was she? She used to be. She wasn’t so sure anymore “ and you’re a woman “

“ nice observation “

“ no I mean. Men were shitty before but now? We ran into this group on the way here… I can’t remember their names but. They just took girls because they could. Kept them like slaves. Infected aren’t the scariest thing out there “ she knew that was true. Not to say that some women weren’t just as shitty. But the men were having a field day with the apocalypse. All rules had gone out the window.

It was stupid of you to trust her so easily, woman or not. She could very much have been planning to hurt you. Or demand something in return for her good nature. She wasn’t going to of course. But most people would’ve done that. If they’d even bothered to stop to help you at all.

Maybe she was kind.

By your third night- well. Nights that you were aware of anyway- in her apartment she was starting to miss when you were passed out. You woke up screaming somewhere in the early hours each night, thrashing around in the sheets and sobbing about things you couldn’t seem to explain to her.

So much for not drawing any attention to yourself.

She knew you couldn’t help it. Not really. She knew first hand from Joel. From her own nightmares that liked to sneak their way into her dreams from time to time. But you needed to be quiet.

She wondered if you’d been trapped in an endless cycle of those dream when you were unconscious. If you had been watching them on a loop as she attempted to care for you, looking so peaceful but screaming on the inside.

“ you wanna talk about those dreams of yours? “ she asked on morning number four. Remembering some slight memory of her mother telling her that talking about bad dreams would make them go away when she was a kid. Something she probably would’ve then gone on to tell her own kids. One of those small twists of the truth that parents did to try and make their children feel better. Something little and mostly useless that they took into adulthood. Even knowing that it wasn’t entirely true. But it worked a little bit.

So it was worth a try. Wasn’t it. Just because she needed you to be quiet. Not that she really cared. Of course she didn’t care. Why would she.

She couldn’t. Caring was dangerous.

“ I’m sorry I know you said about the noi- “

“ yeah you’re waking up the whole fuckin block every night sweetheart you need to get that under control “ she watched your face flush slightly in a way she had noticed you did when she slipped in the pet name. But maybe it was a mixture of embarrassment too.

It didn’t make you special. It was almost… condescending. Her way of keeping herself that one step above on the ladder, she didn’t care.

She didn’t.

“ I’m sorry I’m trying “

“ try a little harder “ you sighed and dropped your head into your hands, shaking your head. Were you crying?

“ I’m sorry “ you were “ I just keep seeing… seeing all the people and the blood and the rain and- “ she walked over to you, observing you like a injured animal that wasn’t quite sure what to do with. The kind where she didn’t know if it was kinder to kill it and put it out of it’s misery or to attempt to console it and bring it back to health.

Though clearly she was already doing the latter.

“ I told you. Tell me about them “ that came out a little lighter than she had initially meant. But she didn’t linger on it “ get it out. Probably won’t make them stop but. Might help “

You seemed to debate it, wiping at the tears on your cheeks and sighing.

She had to admit she was curious to know what was tormenting you. In the world they lived in there was plenty of things it could’ve been. They were 10 years in now and she still saw flashes of outbreak day in her dreams sometimes. Still remembered the first person she had seen infected. The first she had killed.

Death no longer bothered her. She had become numb to it in every way. Paths she had had no choice but to take, that had lead to her ending up that way. She did what she had to do to survive. But you seemed to still be coming to terms with the world around you.

You shuffled to move next to her, hanging your legs over the side of the bed with a small wince as you moved the ankle that was bandaged up.

“ me and a group. 9 of us? We were heading for the QZ. There was more of us at the start but… Pittsburgh is falling apart. A group of us snook out before it could get any worse. If that place lasts another year I’ll be surprised “ she’d heard of QZs falling apart all over the country. Boston was one of the only ones that FEDRA still had a relatively tight grip on “ we made it to the outskirts of the city… these runners came from no where and- “

She sat down on the edge of the bed as you tried to compose yourself a little, surprised to find her chest hurting a little as she watched you. Maybe it was because you seemed so… vulnerable. Somehow avoiding the hardships of the last ten years and behaving like the outbreak had only just begun.

She couldn’t help but feel inclined to protect you.

“ and how’d you end up at the bottom of that slope? “

“ me and 2 others. We made it pretty deep into the city, one of them said we should cut through the buildings. The road was fucked so I agreed. We got separated. Runners. Clickers. I just ran. Last thing I remember is the rain and and tryna get around the mess on the roads… guess I fell. Then you found me”

You’d escaped runners and clickers, and outlasted your entire group. You were really stronger than she thought. Vulnerable, yes, but still strong.

“ and that’s what you keep seeing? In your dreams? “ you nodded and sighed.

“ the others being ripped apart. Clickers chasing me. It’s so stupid I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet… I just wish they’d stop“ you dropped your head against her shoulder with a small sigh. Tess didn’t really know what to do. The gentleness of the act was almost alien to her now.

No one had been gentle with her for 10 years. Not even Joel.

You were doing something to her. Had done from the moment she’d seen you lying half dead on the floor outside. The fact that she had stopped at all. That she had brought you back. That in the 3 days you had been awake, the near constant 72 hours in your company, you had declared feeling safe with her. That you trusted her. That you looked at her and believed she could be gentle.

And Tess didn’t know how to react to it. What to do with it. She didn’t have a snarky remark to give you, simply out of fear of hurting your feelings or upsetting you. Which was ridiculous. Since when did she care about people’s feelings?

“ I promise I’ll try control it. Maybe you’re right. Maybe talking about it helped “

“ yeah. Maybe “

She had the sudden urge to tell you it’ll be okay. That she had nightmares too. That she’d lost count of the amount times she woke up in a cold sweat, images of her husband in a pool of his own blood flashing behind her eyelids, the sounds of her son fighting to escape the basement she had locked him in ringing in her ears.

Nothing haunted her more than that day. Everyone had their ghosts.

She didn’t even tell Joel but there she was wanting to tell you. To relate. To console.

She stood up before she could. Clearing her throat and heading for the door. She needed to get out of that apartment.

“ where are you going? “ the look on your face was like that of a kicked puppy, eyes wide and sad. She really needed to get out of that apartment.

“ I have shit to do. Stay quiet. Don’t open the door. I’ll be back in a few hours “ she pulled on her boots as she spoke, grabbing her bag and heading out the door in a hurry.

She needed to get back out among people that feared her. People that knew how dangerous she could be. Just to remind herself she was feared. She was dangerous. She wasn’t soft.

She. Didn’t. Care.

The fourth night was the same. She woke up to the clock on the wall showing 3:30am, you screaming at the top of your lungs and begging for help.

She got up from her makeshift bed on the couch and headed for the kitchen to get you some water, in the way that was becoming routine now. Usually by the time she reached you you’d stopped, but not tonight. You were thrashing around in the sheets, eyes still clenched tightly closed as you sobbed and screamed.

She placed the water down, her brows furrowed and sat herself on the edge of the bed. She grabbed at your arms to stop your thrashing before you hurt yourself

“ hey! You’re okay, look at me come on. Sweetheart, look at me. Just a dream. C’mon now “ your eyes flung open, terror swirling in your dilated pupils “ that’s it. Look around. You’re awake. You’re safe. You’re safe “

Clearly talking about it hadn’t helped. If anything it had made it worse.

“ no! Please- no! “

“ you gotta be quiet. Look. At. Me! “ she grabbed at your face, forcing your wild eyes to focus on her instead “ that’s it. Look at me. You see me? Not a fuckin clicker. No mushrooms in sight. You were dreamin again “ you seemed to register her words, slowly calming down as you took in her face in front of you.

“ Tess “ you whispered it with such relief, like some kind of wish in a prayer had been granted.

“ yeah. That’s right. It’s me “ you leaned into her touch, apparently grounding yourself again against the feel of her hands against your cheek. She watched you intently, the way you had known her for such little time but so clearly found comfort in her. In her touch.

She wondered if you knew the things she were capable of… if you knew the things she had done. Would you be so willing to sit there with her like that?

She let go of you and stood up.

“ no “ you said suddenly, fingers wrapping around her wrist as she attempted to return to the couch “ sorry I- “ she looked down at your hand, the way you held onto her “ I mean- can you. Could you… would you… stay? Here. With me “ she didn’t quite know why the word ‘ yeah ‘ flew into her mouth before she could even think about what you’d said. But she stopped it before it could escape “ please Tess. I’m so scared… I’d feel better if you were here “

“ I’m just around the other side of the wall “

“ please. You make me feel safe “ that took her aback. She didn’t have a single idea how to respond to that. Safe. She made you feel safe.

People didn’t feel safe around her. They felt afraid. They felt submissive to her power, they begged for their life, they felt dependent on her for their pills. They didn’t feel… safe.

But hadn’t that been what she had been trying to achieve? Hadn’t she wanted to make you feel safe. That you could exist around her and not be scared she’d hurt you. And it felt different yes, but. It felt nice too.

“ okay “ it came out far less confident than she’d wanted it to and she cleared her throat, trying to shake off the clearly obvious confusion she was experiencing “ yeah. Yeah. I’ll stay if you want “ you closed your eyes in relief and gave her a small smile, letting go of her wrist.

She watched you pull back the covers beside her and she got in, keeping a nice distance between you both. She had to admit it felt nice to be back in her bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable of things but anything was better than the couch for another night.

It felt strange laying next to someone though. She hadn’t done that for a long. Long. Time. Even when she had made her way through her string of flings and one time things, she hardly ever brought them back to her apartment. And they never slept in her bed if she did bring anyone back. She never let anyone invade her space. That felt too personal.

And yet there you were. In her bed. In her clothes. Finding herself annoyingly thinking about how much better that T-shirt looked on you than it did on her. And trying to ignore how unbelievably normal it felt having you there now. Even more so how normal and comfortable she was having you sleeping beside her.

She turned on her side to look at you, see how at peace you now looked. Your face no longer screwed up in terror, or eyes flashing wildly around the room. The only evidence of your dream the dried tear marks along your cheeks.

She reached out before she could stop herself, wiping at them softly with her fingers. There was a small scar on your left cheek below your eye, she let her finger trace it and wondered how you’d gotten it. She had too many scars to count now. Her face littered with nicks and dotted with freckles from the sun. She wondered if the face she was looking at now had changed in 10 years. If the face you now owned had looked different before the world fell apart.

She instinctively tried to pull away when your hand suddenly moved, placing it over hers gently and holding it in place.

She waited for the embarrassment to come, to ramble some excuse and probably excuse herself back to the couch. But your eyes remained closed, maybe in fear of embarrassing her. Whatever it was. She was grateful. And she let you hold her there, her hand still cupping your face as she fell asleep herself.

“ alright. Come here come look at these “ Tess broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the apartment for the last few hours, drawing your attention away from the book she had given you. She watched as you hopped your way over to the kitchen table, grabbing onto things to keep your balance whilst keeping your injured ankle off the floor.

She’d been working on papers for you for most of the day. Some half cooked insurance policy that made it look like you were a registered citizen if FEDRA happened to come knocking.

Even if they didn’t work entirely they’d still give her enough of a window to get you out before they returned again. And something was better than nothing she supposed.

“ FEDRA do random door to door checks, checking for infection “ she explained when you slumped into the chair next to her “ When they can fuckin be bothered to do it anyway… but if they do there’s a chance they’ll question why you’re here. This apartments only assigned to me, but as long as they think you’re registered it won’t matter. So. Fake papers. According to FEDRA your name is now Christine Hurley “ she didn’t mention that the real Christine Hurley was in fact in a ditch in one of the back alleys of area 2.

That the real Christine Hurley had thought trying to scam her and Joel with fake ration cards was a good idea, and had gotten a bullet in the forehead for her troubles.

“ and these will work? “

“ yeah. I make fake papers all the time to get me and Joel in and out of different areas. Should’ve been a forger pre outbreak. I’d have been rich as fuck” you laughed at that and she almost hated the way it made her heart skip. You were making her too fuckin soft and it was annoying. It was frustrating. She’d known you barely two weeks now, some of which you’d been unconscious, and yet you were making her soft. You were making her feel. Which was ridiculous

“ won’t they still question why I’m here?”

“ yeah but. They won’t really care. As long as you have papers they don’t give a shit. Found me with a girl here before. Idiot didn’t carry her papers with her. Arrested and… well fuck knows where she is now “ your face seemed to change ever so slightly at that and she wondered why “ just keep them with you”

“ you’ve had girls here before? What make a habit of rescuing people do you? “ she scoffed at that. Did she seem like the type to go around rescuing people every day?

“ no. She was here for… she was perfectly healthy. No rescuing “ it seemed to take you a moment before your eyebrows arched and you gave a nervous laugh.

“ oh “ she wasn’t embarrassed, she never had been when it came to sex or her enjoyment of it. She wondered if anyone else would’ve been. Maybe because you didn’t seem uncomfortable at the thought, in fact you seemed quite pleased about it. Something mischievous almost flashing in your eyes. “ interesting “

“ interesting? “

“ yeah. It’s interesting “ Tess raised an eyebrow but you simply shrugged, a smile tugging at your lips that you were seemingly trying and failing to suppress.

It didn’t seem mocking. More… knowing.

She changed the subject.

“ well. There’s your papers. Keep em with you “ you nodded and scanned over them, learning the new information about yourself whilst you were inside Bostons walls. Tess packed her stuff away and stood up, taking it over to the kitchen counter to hide it away in the small stash behind the back of one of the cupboards.

“ was she your girlfriend? “ Tess froze for a moment as you spoke, glancing slightly behind her to look at you. You were still looking down at the papers, like it was a casual topic to simply make conversation.

“ who? “

“ the girl. The one who didn’t have her papers “ she quirked an eyebrow and turned around , folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the counter

“ why’d you ask? “

“ is that a yes “

“ it’s not “ you hummed a response, flipping the first page over to look at the other which listed all of the work assignments Christine had completed “ she wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t… I don’t do girlfriends. Or boyfriends for that matter “

“ ahh. You’re one of those people. Alright “ you said, smiling down at the paper and clearly no longer reading it

“ what’s that supposed to mean? “

“ nothing bad. I’m just observing “ you finally looked up, sitting back in the chair with amusement on your face. It was a nice change from the sadness that seemed to be settling over your face every now and again “ let me guess. You get bored. Or lonely. So you go out, find a find a girl. Or a guy. Fuck them. Then leave them. That right? “

It was right. And she hated that you’d read her so easily.

“ no “ you scoffed at that

“ sure. But lemme ask you. Do you really feel less lonely? When you’re with them? Or is it something else? “ she didn’t like where this conversation was going. At all. Or the fact that it genuinely made her think. No. Of course it didn’t make her feel less lonely. If anything it simply made it worse

“ I’m not lonely. I’m better on my own “

“ I don’t think that’s true “

“ yeah. Well you know nothing about me” her words were a little harsh. Defensive. She didn’t want people knowing about her, didn’t need someone trying to figure her out.

“ but I want to know “ you didn’t seem shocked by her tone, or her words.

“ you don’t “ she didn’t want to tell you. She didn’t want to tell you about herself or reveal things about her.

Because it would only scare you off. She knew it.

“ hmmm. I do “ you smiled as you said it and she couldnt help the way it eased the tension brewing in her muscles “ you don’t have to tell me bad stuff. Just. Tell me fun stuff. I’m so starved of like… girl talk “ Tess scoffed

“ there were no girls in your group? “

“ there was two. One was a kid. And the other liked to grab me when her boyfriend pissed her off. Then tell me after it was totally a ‘ one time thing and she was literally so straight ‘ “ you said with a laugh and bending your fingers into air quotes.

“ oh I’ve known a few like that “ Tess found she didn’t actually mind that topic of conversation. Because it was something she was comfortable with and something she could control. And didn’t directly reveal anything about herself. So she sat herself back at the table with you.

“ so was I right then? You just fucking your way through the QZ for the fun of it? “

“ I wouldn’t exactly put it like that “

“ so how would you put it “ you leant forward, chin on your hand and a cheeky smile plastered across your face. You were loving it. And Tess did have to admit talking to someone other than Joel was a decent change.

“ the worlds a pile of shit. I won’t deny myself small pleasures “ your grin grew at that

“ bet you have them lining up for you huh? That scary thing you do… yeah. I bet the guys don’t like that though, you whip them into shape too? “ you said and wiggled your eyebrows in a way she couldn’t help but laugh at. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d really laughed.

“ I prefer women. They’re more interesting to look at “

“ agreed “ even before the outbreak she’d preferred girls. It was true, they were far more interesting, softer, squishier, easier to navigate. Prettier. She couldn’t help the way her eyes wandered over you, mind suddenly running wild. And from the look in your eyes, so was yours.

Two evidently touch starved people in such close proximity, with that topic of conversation was never going to end well.

And so she distanced herself before she could put herself in a compromising situation.

“ I have to go do some work. But I’ll be back soon “ she said and stood up, heading for the door and grabbing her backpack “ don’t- “

“ open the door. Make any sound. Draw any attention to myself. Yes ma’am “ you said, that grin still stuck on your face “ oh and don’t go bringing anyone else back here. You might make me jealous “ you looked back down at your papers then, leaving Tess’ mind still reeling as she opened the door and headed out.

—————————————————————

The nightmares came again that night, seemingly worse than the previous, leaving you in floods of tears after you woke up. And to Tess’ surprise you fell into her arms, clutching at her tshirt as you sobbed and sniffled. She felt her previous annoyance at being woken up fizzle away in an instant, replaced with a deep ache in her chest. Pain at seeing you so upset when you had been so happy during the day.

It concerned her slightly how much she enjoyed your smile. The way your eyes lit up around her. And how much she hated the tears and the sadness now plaguing your features.

“ you’re okay sweetheart. I’ve got you “ she said softly, tucking your head under her chin in a way that surprised her as your sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles. You were gripping her tightly, fingers twisted into the material of her shirt as if you were afraid she was about to push you away and leave you there.

Maybe if you had done that on night one she would’ve. It was strange how much had changed in days. How being around you practically 24/7 had changed her thoughts. She didn’t know if she liked it. if she liked how you seemed to be wiggling your way through the cold exterior of her heart, like a worm trying to reach the core of an apple. Burrowing through until it could reach the centre and stay there.

That almost did make her let you go.

She couldn’t have that. She couldn’t have herself worrying about someone else. Caring about someone else. That was dangerous. And you didn’t care for her. You didn’t worry. So why should she? Why should she allow herself the stupidity of getting into something so clearly one sided. And something she so clearly didn’t have control over. It scared her.

She felt like she was in a car that had had its breaks cut, hurtling towards a brick wall and she had no way of bringing it to a stop.

She really was getting soft. Ridiculously so. There she was sat at her table flicking through a faded and damaged medical book she’d traded for on the black market the previous day, so she could try and figure out how to get you back on your feet again.

She was reluctantly letting it happen now. Just accepting that she was doomed. That for the short time you would be with her she would allow herself this pathetic softness. And the second you were gone she would have her control back. It was all your fault. Yours completely. Luring her in to believe she could feel. To believe she was allowed to feel. To believe that someone could possibly feel for her.

It was stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.

“ so I’m pretty sure just a super fuckin bad sprain. Says here… two weeks it’ll normally start feeling better. But can take up to eight to fully heal “ she said, clearing her throat in some attempt to distract her thoughts.

“ it does feel better than when I first woke up. So two weeks is accurate “ she placed the book down and went over to where you had your ankle up resting on a couch cushion. She peeled away the bandages she’d wrapped tightly around it to give it some support, pressing and poking slightly at the fading bruises.

“ can you move it? Wiggle your toes and shit? “ you did just that and she shrugged. She was no doctor. But she patched herself and Joel up enough over the years “ alright. c’mon. Up “ she held out her hands and you took them, they looked so soft and delicate compared to hers. A scar here and there but somehow mostly clear. Nothing compared to the scratches and scrapes on hers. The scars on her knuckles from the numerous times she’d split them open.

Hands like that didn’t fit together. Didn’t meet. Hands like hers didn’t deserve the privilege of touching hands like yours. Hands like hers didn’t deserve to touch anyone in a gentle way. They were for business. For hurting. For pain. Yours weren’t. Yours were soft. Smooth. Yours were made for caressing and soothing, for receiving soft kisses on the back.

She was losing it.

She guided one of your arms around her shoulders and helped you get your balance.

“ don’t try walk. Just. Just try put your weight on it “

“ what if- “

“ don’t worry. I’ve got you. Just be careful yeah? “ she watched you carefully as you gently placed your foot down, eyebrows furrowing as you did and hissing in pain through your teeth “ I said carefully “ you sighed and put it flat on the floor but still heavily leaning against her “ feels okay? “

“ hurts “ Tess nodded and held you tighter around the waist

“ try not to lean on me so much. You won’t fall over. I’ve got a hold of you “

“ oh you’re gonna catch me? “ you said with a small laugh, eyes flickering up to hers briefly. The tone of your voice made her throat a little dry and she couldn’t figure out exactly why.

“ yeah. Yeah I got you “ your face screwed up slightly as she watched you out more of your weight onto it and get used to the feeling.

She held you there for a couple of minutes to regain your balance before slipping your arm off of her and holding your hands in hers.

“ now try walk. Hold onto me “

“ I don’t think I- “

“ just try. Look at me “ you watched her face carefully as she took small steps back, helping you to get used to the feeling of the ankle being used again.

She was glad Joel had work assignments that day. She didn’t think she’d ever live it down if he turned up at her apartment and saw that. Saw her holding you so carefully and helping you walk again like a child.

But she found in the hour or so that she did it, her cheeks began to hurt from smiling. For once in her life feeling like the world wasn’t on her shoulders, happy. Smiling. You smiling with her.

It was nice.

“ you got it! Nice work sweetheart “ she watched the utter joy on your face as you managed to keep your balance on your own and walk before falling into her arms.

“ fuck yeah “ you laughed seemingly now exhausted from the small amount of work. But she didn’t blame you after so long unable to do anything “ can we rest now? “

“ we can do whatever you want “ she said with a small laugh, arms wrapped around you to keep you up right.

“ anything? “ you asked quietly, smile fading slightly and looking up at her intently. Tess furrowed her brows, slightly confused at what exactly you were asking her.

It took her completely by surprise when you leant up and kissed her. Standing practically shell shocked as you pressed your lips to hers. It was only a few seconds and then you were pulling back, cheeks flaming red and closing your eyes with a shake of your head

“ god I’m so- Tess I’m sorry I don’t know why I- “

“ you need to rest “ she said and cleared her throat, not wanting to think about had just happened for even a second. Not prepared to deal with the spiral it would inevitably send her down.

All she knew. Was that she was fucked. well. And truly. Fucked.

“ just stay close to me. Try not to talk to anyone. And don’t touch anything“ Tess instructed as she pushed back a palette keeping one of the exits out of the tunnels covered

“ yes ma’am “ you said with a smile and a mock salute, following her through the gap and standing patiently as she dragged the palette back into place “ will there be officers? “

“ maybe. But the ones around here are just as bad as the smugglers. They’re some of our best customers for pills. Turns out sending people to the gallows everyday can fuck you up. Who’d have guessed? Just do as I say “ you stood ridiculously close to her, eventually wrapping your fingers around her wrist as you both entered the courtyard. She wasn’t in the mood to loiter and headed straight for the people she needed. Trading off cards for boots, a new jacket, some shirts and jeans.

Stuff you’d need. That she didn’t have a surplus of.

Ration cards were as precious as gold those days. And she was spending her hard earned ones on you. She definitely wouldn’t telling Joel about that.

She found she didn’t mind though. She wanted you to be prepared. Safe. And the boots she’d found you in barely had any soles left. You wouldn’t get far in those.

It had been a week since you’d kissed her and neither of you had mentioned it since. Falling back into that comfortable thing you’d been developing before. Where you could make her laugh and smile. And you would tease her for being too grumpy which would make you smile.

It was odd how normal it was starting to feel having you around. But she always ruined the moment by thinking about the future. About how empty her apartment would feel when you leave. She’d gotten used to you. And she almost didn’t want to let you go.

Maybe she could work something out, wrap some officers around to her thinking and get you some official papers. She could train you up to help her with her smuggling, show you the ropes and tell you who the best people to deal with were. And who to avoid like the plague.

It could be nice.

“ Tess. Haven’t seen you around for a few days. Where you been hiding? “ she felt you tense beside her as one of the FEDRA officers on her client list made his way towards her. He was a cocky son of a bitch, one who constantly tried to make her lower her prices and was notoriously known for being too heavy handed with the girls he paid for. And had been trying to get his way into her pants for months. Seemingly thinking offering her his dick was worth a half price deal on his pills.

“ don’t. Speak. Let me do the talking “ Tess said in a low voice close to your ear, looking like she was entirely too fascinated by the piles of clothes in front of her “ I’m not selling today Marcus. You know I don’t get shit until the end of the month “

“ I know. I know. Cant I be friendly and say hello? “ she rolled her eyes, hoping he’d just fuck off and leave her be now that he knew she didn’t have what he wanted “ who’s the new pet? Following you around like a little lost puppy? “ you shuffled closer to her if that was even possible, fingers tightly gripping at her wrist.

“ that’s none of your concern “

“ pretty thing “ he said with a smirk, craning his head to try and look at where you were attempting to hide behind her. She surprised herself for the millionth time since she’d found you, when she felt a burning jealousy in her chest. She didnt like the thought of anyone talking about you. Even looking at you. Thinking about you. Which was fuckin. Stupid. But she hated it “ maybe you come give me a visit when she’s done with you huh? “

“ I don’t think so “ her voice was bitter, unable to stop herself from appearing as jealous as she was

“ what? Cant she speak for herself? Come on Tess. It’s nice to share “

“ not this one “ she freed her wrist from your grasp and draped her arm around your shoulder instead, pulling you against her body. You sighed a slight sigh of relief at the contact, pressing yourself against her. She tossed down some more cards for the clothes and handed them to you “ put ‘em in your bag “ you did as you were told, the slightly worried expression that had been on you face still there. But a little less now she had a hold of you.

“ settling down? You’re not the type. You send her my way when you get bored. I’ll be waiting. I’ll even pay you double on my next batch “ Tess scoffed and turned to face him, trying to ignore the burning anger boiling away in her chest at the thought of him anywhere near you.

She saw the state he left some girls in, the thought of that happening to you was enough to make her want to put a bullet through his head in the middle of the courtyard.

“ you know that’s not my game “ he shrugged and raised his hands in mock surrender “ go talk to Robert he’ll point you in the right direction. But this one? She’s mine. So back the fuck off. And come find me at the end of the month for your shit. Okay? “ she enjoyed the way that even the officers listened when she commanded it, that the simple tone of voice and the reputation she was gaining was enough to make anyone do as she said.

“ alright alright. Stay out of trouble “ he said with another smirk, but not as smug as it previously had been “ and you “ he said, throwing a wink at you and walked away.

“ let’s get you home yeah? “ she said it loud enough that she hoped Marcus heard it. That you were going back with her. Not him. Never him.

“ yes please “ she could feel your eyes burning into her as you walked back, almost tripping up because you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking.

You seemed flustered. Frantic almost. She wondered if Marcus had shaken you up, overwhelmed you.

She couldn’t have been more wrong if she’d tried. Once you both got back into her apartment she realised what had gotten into you.

You grabbed at her arm when she closed the door, yanking at her with a confidence she hadn’t seen from you before. You pulled her close and to her surprise yet again, you kissed her. For the second time. It was a lot more confident than the first, more… desperate. Your lips pressing harder against hers than she’d expected.

She found herself kissing you back that time, turning you around and crowding you back against the door. She knew she shouldn’t haven given in, shouldn’t be letting her desire her in the way of what she knew was right and wrong.

But she couldn’t help herself.

Maybe it was the pent up jealousy and anger from down in the market, kissing you being the safest form of release for it. And the most enjoyable. Not that battering the fuck out of Marcus wouldn’t have been thoroughly enjoyable. But making out with you? It beat anything else by miles.

It made her regret not kissing you back the first time, when your lips felt like that against hers. Tasted like that. It felt cruel to have denied herself of it.

It was the feel of your fingers gently pushing at her shirt that snapped her back into reality, made her see some common sense again.

“ hey. Hey we can’t “ she said softly, hands soothing over your arms and closing her eyes for a moment. She sighed and looked at you, your cheeks flushed “ we can’t “ she didn’t explain herself. Couldn’t. Couldn’t tell you that she was getting far too attached. That sleeping with you could well and truly be the final nail in the coffin that she was burying herself in.

“ I’m sorry “ you said, clearly embarrassed. Tess couldn’t tear her eyes away from your lips. Parted and glossy with saliva. She wanted to kiss you again.

“ it’s okay. Don’t sweat it “ she looked away before she could.

“ just. The way you were out there. With that officer and and the way you spoke about me I- god “ she found a smile tugging at her lips as she watched your flustered attempt to explain, groaning and putting your head in your hands. She nudged her fingers under your chin to make you look at her, noticing the way your breath shuddered slightly. You were so easy to work up.

“ don’t be embarrassed “ she could practically see you melting under her gaze, the low tone of her voice and intense gaze making you look ready to drop to your knees. And wouldn’t that be a sight.

A sight she had to remind herself she did not need to see.

“ go empty your bag, take a shower or something i don’t know about you but that market makes me feel grimy as fuck. Then we won’t talk about it. Yeah?” You nodded your head and gave her a warm smile

“ yeah “ she stepped away from you, watching you head for the bathroom and close the door behind you. She ran a hand over her face, a deep sigh shuddering past her lips. What was she doing?

Usually she would’ve kept going. Would’ve happily fucked you and been fine about it. She was no stranger to doing just that and then moving on. But there was something about you. Something about the anger she had felt around Marcus, the jealousy and the possessiveness.

Even the fact that she was still sharing a bed with you. And most nights now she’d wake up to find you pressed against her. Cuddling like a couple as if it were the most normal thing. That she enjoyed waking up to your smile, your eyes. You.

What had you done to her?

“ I think you’re gonna have to go soon “ the realisation of the fact had hit her like a ton of bricks that morning. Or maybe it had been sooner than that and she had been forcing herself to ignore it.

Your lack of reaction told her you probably knew that.

Staying with her had never been a permanent thing. But she felt she was pushing her luck now, the fact you had managed to stay as long as you had was a miracle in itself.

“ they found a whole group of unregistered people in an apartment in area 3 the other day. FEDRAS upping their random checks and… look I’m good at fake papers but they can only do so much. If they find out you’re not a registered citizen they’ll have you up on the gallows before you can even tell them your real name “ she ran a hand over her face with a deep sigh “ and I can’t fuckin see that happen to you sweetheart I can’t “

You didn’t say anything right away, which she hated. It meant that her words hung there in the silence for a little too long. Gave her that minute too long to think about them and wish she could yank them back and shove them back down her throat.

Then your hand tentatively reached out for hers that was on the table, fingers ghosting over her knuckles before gently squeezing in what she assumed was your attempt at reassuring her.

“ I never thought I’d even make it into Boston and with your help I wouldn’t have. I thought you’d kick me out the moment I’d woken up. I never expected you to let me stay as long as you have and put yourself in a position… I’m trying to say thank you I guess. And that… I know… I know you wouldn’t tell me to go unless I really had to “

She glanced up at you and couldn’t quite read the expressions on your face. It annoyed her still. How she couldn’t get a grasp on you, couldn’t get into your head in the way she could with others. But that didn’t matter anymore did it. You were leaving.

“ I know this couple in a town not too far from here. That’s where I was coming from when I found you… Bill and Frank. I spoke to Frank last night on the radio and he said you can go there for a few days. They have more supplies than you can fuckin imagine they’ll give you what you need. Franks real good with the radio he’s gonna listen in, see what he can hear and find you a QZ that’s letting people in “ you nodded and gave her a small smile

“ how do I get there? “

“ I’ll take you “ there was never any question in that. You’d almost died on your way in. Never mind the way out. You nodded, processing the information.

Talking to Frank on the radio the previous night has been hard but now she was discussing with you it made it feel far too real. The stark realisation that you wouldn’t be in the room after tomorrow. You wouldn’t be in her bed, smiling at her when you woke up, loudly commenting on the book you were reading when a character did something you didn’t like. Just your presence .

“ c’mere for a second “ you rose to your feet instantly walking over to her and standing between her legs. She ran her hands gently along your legs and looked up at you, her gaze soft “ I’ll make sure you get there safe. I promise you Bill and Frank will help you out “

You straddled her thighs, looping your arms around her neck and pressing your forehead to hers. It felt too… romantic. Intimate. It felt exactly what she had been so terribly trying to avoid. but maybe she was stupid for ever thinking she could live with you and be around you so constantly and not end up in such a position. You were like a siren luring her in, filling her senses and overwhelming her with desire no matter how hard she attempted to fight it. No one would’ve been able to resist you. No one.

“ I’m gonna miss you “ you whispered, so close your lips brushed hers as you spoke “ I’m gonna miss your stupid face “ Tess chuckled at that.

“ stupid? “

“ mhm. So stupid “

“ so stupid you try kiss me any chance you fuckin get? “ it was the first time you’d both actually mentioned either of the kisses out loud. But she guessed it didn’t matter if it made things awkward now.

You were leaving. What did she have to lose.

“ I have a head injury I don’t think my thought process can be trusted “

“ it can’t “ you twisted a lock of her dark hair around your finger, another thing that felt casually intimate.

“ I guess I cant be blamed then. Cant be blamed for this either “ she refused to let her fears get the better of her that time. Taking the chance whilst she still had it, kissing you back with the same gentleness you were. It felt bittersweet. Nothing could be bad about kissing you, but the knowledge she might never get to kiss you again? That was painful.

“ I’m really gonna miss you “ you whispered once you pulled away, short breaths hitting Tess’ lips.

“ yeah sweetheart. I’ll miss you too “

Tess hadn’t anticipated the heavy feeling in chest on the last night with you in her apartment. Unable to sleep and simply staring up at the ceiling as you lay curled up beside her.

She reminisced on the weeks you’d spent with her. How much you’d managed to wiggle into her heart and make her feel things she thought she’d forgotten.

She felt stupid. But it was okay. You would be gone that time tomorrow, she would drink. She would forget. She would carry on. She would go back to normal. She tried to ignore the small voice in the back of her head telling her that wasn’t what she wanted now. But she had no choice.

She startled as your hand moved, sliding over her arm with a soft sigh

“ cant sleep either? “ she looked down to see your eyes wide awake and watching her. She’d miss the way you looked at her. Admired her. Never afraid.

“ no “ she turned onto her side, reaching out to tuck your hair away from your face “ it’s gonna be weird when you’re gone “ she confessed in a whisper, almost hoping it was too quiet for you to hear. It wasn’t of course.

“ yeah. I got used to looking at your grumpy face everyday “ she huffed a small laugh and rolled her eyes “ maybe I can write or something when I find a new QZ. Send radio messages. I don’t know. Something “

“ yeah. Maybe “ that would only hurt you both more she was certain of it. But she wouldn’t tell you that now. She’d let you hope and think of something good that the future may hold “ do you wanna try get some more sleep? “

“ No I can’t “ you said with a shake of your head and shuffled a little closer to her “ I can think of something to pass the time time though “ Tess smiled and slipped her hand around to the back of your neck

“ funny. So can I “ she pulled you towards her, capturing your lips with hers and pulling a soft sigh from you as she did. She regretted not kissing you more. Regretted not giving in to her thoughts whilst she’d had you, some half ditched attempt to protect herself. As if it still wouldn’t hurt.

You kissed different than anyone else she’d been with. Which sounded cheesy and she felt stupid for thinking it. But it was true. Girls that were being overly dramatic to try and get paid more or girls that were just like her. Lonely and looking for some form of human contact.

But you were… invested. Kissing her like you actually meant it. Tender and careful, soft moans into her mouth that were slowly working her up.

“ I thought of. Of something else. That. We could do. More than…kissing “ you whispered in between soft kisses “ if you want “ she didn’t need to second guess or even give it a single second of thought. You were leaving tomorrow whether she or you liked it or not. So what did she have to lose now? Nothing.

And who was she to deny herself of such pleasure in world full of a whole lot of pain. Especially now. Especially with you.

She pushed at you, placing her body on top of yours and caging your head between her arms, not giving you a second to even attempt to take control from her. Not that she thought she would really. Not when you had been so willing to do as exactly as you’d been told the entirety of your stay with her.

She felt ever so slightly out of practice. It wasn’t a lack of experience, Jesus if anything she had too much experience. Which she wasn’t entirely proud of but who the fuck cared? The world was ending. Had ended. She’d take any small ounce of pleasure she could seek out. You didn’t seem like the type for that. She couldn’t picture you slinking around in the less desirable areas picking up girls just because she wanted something- or rather someone- to do.

No. You seemed too… pure. For that. Tess wasn’t pure. Not at all. But she could pretend. She could pretend if that’s what you wanted. Though she wasn’t entirely sure it was. Not with the way your hands were grabbing at her, hands restless as they slipped under the hem of her shirt to touch her skin.

She kissed you until she had no choice but to pull away to breathe, immediately moving to your neck instead. Your skin was like a blank canvas and she was going to take great joy in marking it.

“ Tess “ you practically whimpered her name, pushing at her tshirt in some silent request to get it off. But she’d be damned if she was gonna let you get her naked first. Her fingers worked at the button up you’d gone to bed in, still working at your neck as she did. She hadn’t really liked the shirt on herself, so had happily let you take it when you’d picked it out. But on you? She almost didn’t want to take it off you completely. There was something about the thought of fucking you in her clothes…

She had to sit up to admire the view, reluctantly detaching her lips from your soft skin.

“ fuck “ she couldn’t help it, it left her mouth without her consent. The sight of you was enough to ruin her for life. Her shirt open and revealing your heaving chest, the blush creeping across your cheeks and the blossoming marks on your neck… oh she was fucked.

She reached out, grabbing at your tits and sighing heavily at how heavenly your body was. You’re back arching into her touch as she moulded the squishy flesh beneath her fingers, dropping her head down again to get her mouth on you too.

She was like a greyhound chasing a rabbit. Tunnel vision and a singular end goal, you the only thing in her sight. In her mind. Desperate to touch and taste and fill her senses with nothing other than you.

“ oh god “ you whined as she flattened her tongue, licking across your nipple and testing your reaction. She knew you’d be whiny. Knew you’d be someone she could work into a whimpering mess with ease.

She had a knack for knowing these things.

“ you’re fuckin beautiful “ she said as she rolled a nipple between her fingers, peppering kisses across your chest as she did “ so fuckin beautiful “ she was stupid to think she’d be able to forget you with a bottle of whiskey. How on earth would she ever get the image of you underneath her out of her mind.

You squirmed around beneath her, small sighs and whimpers escaping past your lips when she grazed her teeth against your skin. Your fingers lacing into her hair and scratching your blunt nails against her scalp.

She didn’t let herself get side tracked for too long, she had an end goal to reach that resulted in her head happily between your thighs. And with the sounds you were already making and the way you were squirming around, she got the picture you were more than ready for that.

She moved back up to be level with your face, kissing you again and letting her hands wander. Mapping out your body with her fingers so she could commit the thought to memory.

“ please Tess. I need you. God I need you just- please “ you whimpered into her mouth, raising your hips up against her in desperation. If you had been anyone else she’d have denied you. Made you beg and edged you until she was bored “ I waited weeks don’t make me wait any longer “

But she couldn’t do that to you. How could she possibly deny you of anything you wanted from her? When you were underneath her looking like that, making sounds like that.

“ weeks huh? “

“ yes “ that made her feel pretty fucking smug. But also made her feel slightly less stupid for… whatever it was she was feeling for you.

So she didn’t waste any time. Moving down your body after another kiss to your swollen lips.

She pulled your underwear down your legs soothing her hands over your thighs before pushing them apart. Making a point to leave the shirt on. Part of her felt like she shouldn’t be rushing. But she was desperate to taste you.

The noise that left your mouth when she parted you with her tongue was heavenly, she felt addicted in an instant. She wanted to hear it again. Over and over. She never wanted to hear a single other sound for the rest of her life. It paired with the look on your face had a small shuddering breath passing her own lips, in complete and utter awe of you.

She had wanted to draw it out, to have you writhing and whimpering and wreck you for anyone else. But the sounds you were making and the blissful look in your eyes… she was desperate to make you come. Desperate to see what you’d look like, what sounds that would draw out of you. Maybe it was a little selfish, but she didn’t care.

Your taste flooded her tongue and she was like a starving woman eating for the first time in days. She was feral.

Her arms looped around your thighs to keep you in place and she went to town. She wanted to feel you coming on her tongue, wanted to see the exact look on your face, know the taste.

She felt like she could stay there for hours. Days. Weeks. Trapped between the pillowy flesh of your thighs, senses flooded with you. Your taste on her tongue, your moans in her ears, soft skin beneath her fingers.

Your fingers pulled at her hair, whining her name in a way that made a smug smile creep its way onto her face.

“ you know it’s… it’s been a while so- “ you attempted to form a sentence, gasping and arching your back in between your words “ I don’t think I’ll last- fuck Tess “ that was practically music to her ears. And a lively boost to the ego that she had you on edge already.

“ that’s okay sweetheart, you wanna come for me? Yeah? “ you eyes were screwed shut and you nodded quickly, pushing her face closer to your cunt again which made her smile “ I got you”

It was only another minute or so until you were pulling almost painfully at her hair, holding on for dear life as you came on her tongue. You were stronger than she’d expected, managing to trap her head with your thighs even with her holding them, keeping her in place until your body went slack and she she came up gasping for air. With the biggest fucking smug grin on her face.

She looked up at you from her spot between your legs, admiring the blissful look on your face, the droplets of sweat along your sternum, her shirt still hanging open on you.

She made her way back up to your lips with a trail of kisses. Wet, soft, open mouthed kisses that made goosebumps rise on your skin.

“ you good? “ she asked, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips

“ good doesn’t even cut it “ she laughed as you beamed a smile, open your eyes to look up at her “ I wanted you to do that after the market “

“ I know you did “ she’d wanted to do it too. But she’d stopped herself like the idiot she clearly was. She moved to lay beside you, still watching you closely. She wanted to remember every detail of you. No matter how painful it would be. She wanted to remember.

“ you know what else I wanna do? “ you said, shuffling closer and trailing your hand along her waist and across the front of her. She grabbed at your hand before you could move it any closer, effectively stopping you in your tracks

“ please let me “ you whispered, eyes wide and glassy looking up at her like she was the last woman on earth. She wasn’t used to being looked at like that. Even with you. Even with you who had never looked at her with anything but some seemingly deep rooted adoration and affection. Never fear.

“ you don’t have to “ it was rare she let anyone reciprocate. She didn’t like the way it made her feel so… exposed. Vulnerable. Like some baby animal being lured into a lions den ready to be mauled to death.

You reached up with your other hand, gently brushing her dark hair away from her face and behind her ear. She didn’t entirely know how to react. She didn’t now what to do with such tenderness. It made her brain flash with an error code like some janky 90s PC. Her mind coming up blank when confronted with such care and compassion.

“ I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Please “ she was used to people wanting to please her. She could have any fucker running doing whatever she asked if she dangled a bag of pills in front of them, like donkeys working for carrots. But someone wanting to please her like that? To give simply because they felt like that, to not expect a single thing in return.

She didn’t know how to respond. Simply looked at you in silence. You seemed to see the cogs coming to a grinding halt in her head, eyes flickering over her face.

“ you’ll let me Tess? “ she still didn’t really now what to say. And it was starting to piss her off. She always knew what to say. She always knew what to do. But not with you.

You pushed lightly at her shoulder, urging her to lay on her back. And to her own surprise she found herself doing it, head falling against the pillow and your face re appearing above hers. That alone felt a little wrong. She never let anyone on top. Ever. Never sacrificed that power to anyone.

“ after all you’ve done for me “ you whispered against her lips, nudging your nose to hers “ you deserve something in return. Let me make you feel as good as you made me feel “ she could feel small tendrils of panic starting to wind their way up into her chest, twisting around her ribs and tightening. So she took back some control, hand slipping to the back of your neck and pulling you down to kiss her as hard as she could manage.

She knew you weren’t about to do anything bad. But it was simply the act of letting someone have her so vulnerable to them. It terrified her.

“ trust me “ you whispered in between kisses “ you trust me don’t you? “

“ yeah “ she surprised herself with how quickly she said it, how unbelievably certain she was of the fact. That she did trust you. In the weeks since you’d woken up she’d grown to trust you as much as she’d trust Joel. Maybe she was stupid for that.

She took a sharp intake of breath as your hand pushed past her underwear, fingers dipping into the wetness between her folds and softly circling her clit.

“ see, you’re wet. Pretty proud of myself for that “ you were trying to lighten the mood and it helped a little. A small smile trying to creep its way onto her face.

She was used to her own fingers and only her fingers. But yours were something else. Those soft gentle hands that she had felt looked so out of place in an apocalypse, felt like velvet. You watched her face intently and she almost felt embarrassed, it was odd for her. To be so exposed and so closely observed.

You slipped your fingers inside of her with ease, her eyes falling closed as she attempted to steady her breathing from the intrusion. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d let someone do that, she’d forgotten how it felt. It was nothing like how it felt to do it herself.

You were reaching places she never could, breathy sounds escaping her even when she tried to stop them.

“ I wish you could see what you looked like right now “ your voice was almost awe filled, like you were simply amazed the sight of her. Maybe you were

“ shut up “ she said, breathless, pulling you down to kiss her again in some attempt to change the subject. Not wanting the attention on herself, sinking her teeth into your bottom lip to make you whimper into her mouth again.

She figured she’d be done just as fast as you had been, especially when you seemed to know exactly where to touch. You hit some place devastating, the tight knot in her belly growing and growing

“ fuck. Stay right fuckin there “ she gasped, fingers gripping your wrist as you did as she’d asked. Focussing on the same spot over and over again. She kept her eyes on you. Kneeling over her, in her shirt, the sight alone was enough to finish her off.

She pulled you down to her mouth again, scared she’d do something embarrassing like make noise, kissing you as she came on your fingers. Holding you firmly in place as her walls convulsed around you and her body rushed with heat, every muscle tensing before going limp and leaving her feeling like a rag doll.

She was breathless as she let you go, her skin on fire and prickling with heat.

“ well fuck me “ she mumbled. Throwing an arm over her eyes for a moment and to her surprise, laughing. You giggled beside her laying down and slinging a leg over hers, both your skins slippery with sweat. But she didn’t care.

“ I just did didn’t I? “ you said in the most innocent tone, simply making her laugh again. You both settled into a comfortable silence then, lazily kissing until you dropped your head.

As you both lay there, your head resting on her chest and hand over her heart, she almost wanted to cry. Which was fucking stupid. She didn’t cry. That wasn’t her.

“ you know you’re still gonna have to leave “ she whispered “ it’s not safe for you to stay here “ she felt your breathing stutter slightly and she knew you were crying. But she didn’t mention it. Didn’t want to embarrass you or risk making herself cry too by acknowledging it “ you know you still have to go “You gave a small nod. You knew. You knew this was always going to be the outcome, both of you did.

“ yeah. I know “ she was silent for a few minutes before gently pushing at your body, urging you to turn on your side. She pressed herself against your back, her arms sliding gently over your waist and her nose nudging lightly at the back of your neck.

“ couple more hours “ she whispered against your skin “ couple more hours. Then I’ll take you to the wall… couple more “ you rested your hand over hers and nodded again, tears welling in her eyes as you did. She refused to let them fall. She wasn’t that pathetic.

“ couple more hours “ you echoed softly, voice barely above a whisper in some attempt to hide the evident crack in your tone as you seemingly failed at keeping the tears in “ just a couple more “

#this took ridiculousy long to transfer but here you go #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos #tess tlou #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfic #x you #smut #fluff #Anna torv #other characters for exposure: #Joel miller #Ellie Williams #Tommy miller

[ufuckingpastry]

These Bonds We Keep

AO3 Link (this fic is very long btw)

This fic is based on the characters in the DreamSMP, not the content creators. Any views expressed in this fic are not a reflection of the content creators in any shape or form.

Relationships: Dream/Technoblade - Kismesistude/Rival Shipping Technoblade/Philza - Moirallegiance/Platonic Relationship

This is a continuation of Where Gods and Monsters Meet, but it not necessary to read that to understand this fic. 

@meepishme

CW: graphic depictions of violence, hallucinations, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt (based on game mechanics), self harm

Summary: I have all the time in the world to wait for you, Blood God. And, one way or another, you will become mine.

Technoblade could hear the triumph in the egg's voice. Like the slow, smug flicking tail, the egg felt victory against its opponent. Because he was trapped with it and he had nowhere to run. And yet… Technoblade smiled despite it all. And he could feel the egg's shock, faint and unnatural as it was. Because he knew this game. He knew what it took to be patient in the face of an unwavering enemy and still come out the victor. He knew what it would take. So, he settled in, grinning at the ghost of red before him, and breathed out. The red parted and he took solace in that, at least.

"If the mind is willing, the flesh could go on and on without many things," he recited quietly. "You underestimate me. And that will be your downfall."

The whooshing of the portal faded as Technoblade descended the steps towards the community house. Someone had recently built it back up, even nicer than it was before. But the holes in the dirt still belied what had turned it to rubble. He recalled Ranboo telling him and Phil, his hands twisting and tapping in uncomfortable motions, that he blew it up. Later, after Dream had been locked up, Phil mentioned that Dream had done it as they sat by the fire. They discussed why Ranboo might believe he had blown it up instead. That conversation left an uncomfortable sting of acid in Technoblade’s stomach. That kid didn’t deserve any problems thrown his way. He thought about when Ranboo gifted him a new netherite axe. “Rent” they called it. Payment for living on his property. But in recent weeks, Technoblade found that the kid was growing on him. They explored maps of distant places, arguing over golden apples. The last time they had gone into a woodland mansion, Technoblade found him backed up in a corner. Technoblade hadn’t remembered much after that, but he remembered Ranboo afraid, but steeling himself against an unwinnable fight. He jumped in alongside him and they cut down their foes together. As Technoblade passed through the community house and out the other side, he wondered if Ranboo was fixing the house up out of misplaced guilt. He pressed his lips together and made a note to talk to Ranboo about it soon. The kid was brave, but he was also real jumpy. Technoblade dutifully described his visit to Dream when he returned home a week ago. Ranboo seemed relieved that it was the same as Tommy's retelling, but it felt as though he was still hiding something from them. That might be Technoblade reading too much into it, but still… Caution was the thing that kept them safe. Phil always reminded them of that, especially when Technoblade got a little too bloodthirsty that he forgot himself. He made a note to remind Phil to be there when they talked with Ranboo. Phil was much better at reading social situations than he was.  

Technoblade hiked the axe up on his shoulder as he walked, his thoughts straying from Ranboo as he scanned the area. He frowned, eyeing the vines. They grew more every time he came through. He cut away some of the vines that were in his way, though he never lingered around them too long. It was hard to tell in the fresh air like this, but something smelled off about them. The voices in his head seemed to agree. He tossed away the vine blocks at the voices’ request. As he walked further, he saw Ranboo delightedly hugging a grass block. Technoblade’s shoulders relaxed at the sight of a genuinely happy Ranboo. He stepped up close to the kid and waved.

“Techno!” Ranboo greeted. The nickname made him smile. He usually only let Phil or Dream call him that, but he wasn’t about to cut Ranboo short. If it made him happy to call him that, then who was Technoblade to stop him?

“Hey, Ranboo. What are you up to?” They caught up for a bit, walking around a few steps as Ranboo placed grass and picked more up. He found it nice to talk to him and he relaxed bit by bit. After a while, as the sun reached and passed its highest point, Ranboo made noises about having to go soon. Technoblade rested a hand on his shoulder. “Hold up. Phil’s making some stew tonight. He always makes too much, if you want to stop by. We’d be glad to have you.”

“Oh, uh, yeah! Sounds good!” Ranboo smiled and Technoblade felt his chest warm at the sight. He waved Ranboo off. He turned around and started for the Prime Path, but paused. Bad was standing on some of the vines, the ones he had chopped up, watching them. The vines glowed gently and grew just under Bad’s feet, completing the chain again. Technoblade’s smile faded as his gaze flicked back up to Bad. His hood was white, which… Wasn’t it red? Technoblade adjusted the axe on his shoulder. Bad started walking towards him. The voices in his head rose to a steady thrum, conflicting as always, but this time it set him on edge. He rolled his shoulders as he watched Bad’s approach.

“Good afternoon, Technoblade,” Bad greeted warmly. Technoblade raised a few fingers in response, but remained otherwise silent. His gaze did catch on movement in the distance behind Bad. Antfrost was also approaching now, making a beeline for their small group. Technoblade’s silent response didn’t seem to deter Bad. “Lovely day out, isn’t it?”

“There something you want, Bad?” Technoblade asked. He didn’t really want to be sociable more than he had to at any given point. He had already spent long enough here and he had things he wanted to finish before he went back home for dinner. But Bad seemed like he genuinely wanted something from him. At his question, Bad’s face brightened.

“Well, yes, actually. What do you know about the egg, Technoblade?”

---

The first thing Technoblade noticed when they entered the cave was the smell. The cave smelled of blood. Putrid, poisoned, diseased. It was a sickness that made his stomach roil. He swallowed bile as he looked upon the egg, stepping carefully over pits of lava and magma as he followed Bad. The voices, usually a cacophony of conflicting desires, now grew in a chorus of one word: RUN. He eyed the egg, used to ignoring the voices. The vines were annoying, but to be here, in the presence of the thing causing their growth, he genuinely felt unsettled. He glanced at Bad, at Antfrost. Their faces, drawn toward the egg, were ones of devotion.

“So,” he started, breaking the silence. “I take it this is the egg?”

“Yes!” Bad clapped his hands together and grinned brightly at Technoblade. “It offers people what they desire, be it power or strength. Anything.”

“Power?” Technoblade asked with a considering tilt of his head. “The power to lead nations? Like a government?”

“No, no, no, not like that. We,” Bad gestured to himself and Antfrost. “We don’t want more governments. All they’ve done is cause war and destruction. The egg doesn’t want governments.”

“You literally have a bunch of signs that say ‘Join the Eggpire’,” Technoblade pointed out. Bad’s expression tightened, as if frustrated. But it vanished and he smiled brightly again. He dismissed Technoblade's point with a wave of his hand.

“That’s just some catchy phrasing. The egg doesn’t want governments.”

“Uh-huh. Then what does it want?”

“Well,” Bad and Antfrost glanced at each other, their smiles growing. They turned back to him simultaneously “Why don’t you listen?”

“Listen?”

“Yes! The egg speaks to all those who will hear it. Listen so that you might hear what it wants.”

Technoblade pressed his lips together, unconvinced. But Bad looked so excited by this idea, so on board with the literal everything going on, that Technoblade decided to humor him at least. He sighed and closed his eyes, focusing on the voices. He brushed past their yelling, down deeper, down to voices he couldn’t hear as well. And, he realized, there was one. It was a small voice, quiet, barely above a whisper. But now given attention, it grew to something recognizable.

Blade. I know you for what you are. God of Blood, God of Vengeance, God that has been Betrayed and Used. Know that I can grant you the power you seek, the power to keep you, make you whole again.

Technoblade stilled, opening his eyes. His gaze focused on the pulsing red of the egg, trying to ground himself even before he realized what was happening. He blinked, red winding its way across his vision. It coiled into images that shifted into shape before him. He saw L’Manberg, burned and blasted, the hole ever expanding. He saw the vines taking root, filling the pit like blood spilled. Overflowing, he saw it, as the voice whispered ever on, slowly overtaking the other voices.

Blood for the Blood God. Nourish me of their flesh and I will return their blood to you tenfold. Blood for the Blood God!

He saw bodies strewn about before him. Thousands, millions, tens. Ever changing, ever flowing, ever beating with his heart. Each one torn apart. Ribcages steaming in the sun, skulls shattered with gray matter strewn across the way, bodies broken, twisted, ruined. Bleeding without a care, without purpose. He saw himself step through them, inside and outside his form all at once. The blood drenched his hands, his clothes, his crown, dripping in vines of freshly spilled blood. He saw himself stop, drop down, and nudge a head up to the sun. Tommy’s eyes, blank, cold, and dead stared past him, horror and betrayal plain in his last moments. As he looked up, he saw them. He saw them all. Their names passing by, their faces turning toward him, their eyes on him as they bled out. Bled out for him. Niki, Punz, Ranboo, Tommy, Tubbo, Jack, Puffy, Sam… He lifted his gaze and saw two bodies strung out for him, their bodies opened and spilling out blood and entrails, and he saw their faces plain as day. Horror, pure terror flooded his system at the sight of these bodies. These bodies, the bodies of those he most cared for, of those he would stop at nothing to fix the suffering they experienced, or aid what he could not fix. Those he felt tied to and those he would be tied to the end of days. Phil's body, wings broken and ruined. Dream's body, gutted and empty. He could hear the egg singing worship at the scene, calling it sacrament… The implication that he… that he had done this…

Technoblade stumbled back from the egg, eyes wild and teeth bared. His breaths came in pants, his axe in his hand. He saw movement next to him. He lurched towards it, aiming to strike, aiming to maim, to kill!

Bleed them! Bleed them for me!

Technoblade stumbled at the voice, the red in his vision vanishing. Bad and Antfrost stared at him, their own weapons at the ready, their eyes wide. Technoblade realized himself and he forced his breath to slow. Once he felt calm, calmer, he hooked his axe on his back once more. He shook his head in an attempt to rid the egg’s voice from his head. He had to get out. He had to leave, leave, leave, RUN! Technoblade took a step back from them, from the egg. His ears twitched back, flat against his head to block out the voice even though he knew it would do nothing. He took another step back, nearly stumbling over the magma block behind him.

“No, nope. No, not today. Not this. Nope.” He looked up at the egg, its disease burning his lungs, and turned on his heel. He heard Bad call out and he heard him running after him, words stumbling on his tongue to slow down. Halfway across the room, the exit in sight, Bad grabbed his cloak. Technoblade turned so fast Bad flinched back, releasing the cloak to reach for a weapon. Technoblade’s eyes burned with rage and it was with a snarl he silenced both the egg and Bad’s protests. “I will destroy this place,” he growled, his voice trembling in his rage. “I will. Destroy this place. I will destroy the egg. I will fill this room with TNT and I will burn this place to ash! To bedrock! What I did to L’Manberg, I will do to this place a thousand times over!” Technoblade straightened and looked down upon them, a wrathful god barely held in check. “And I would suggest you stand aside before I burn you too.”

Bad pressed his lips together, thinking fast. Technoblade could almost hear the gears turning in his head. He held his hands out in a staying gesture, a rare sign of surrender. Technoblade did not trust him, nor the words that would soon spill from his mouth.

“I feel like there are some misunderstandings here. How about this? We go and talk. Away from the egg. Above ground. Before we do anything too rash, let’s talk.” Technoblade’s eyes narrowed. He knew a bad idea when he saw one. But his position would not change. And if Bad wanted to try to talk, to placate him… He would let him try, if only to see him tremble beneath his failure. Technoblade unhooked his axe and gestured for him to lead the way.

Bad led them above ground, led them to a suspiciously egg-shaped building. Technoblade stopped outside the building, eyeing the blood vines growing over the structure. He tilted his head, listening. The egg’s voice still haunted him, but it grew faint. He assumed it wouldn’t leave completely until he went back home.

He hoped.

“Before we go in,” Bad started, hands in front of him. “I would like to talk without the threat of weapons and armor.”

“No.”

“Here, as a show of good faith.” Bad started to remove his armor, then glanced at Antfrost and gestured sharply with his head. Antfrost followed suit, though his limbs seemed to shake more in front of the still very armed Technoblade. Bad put his items into the chest at the door and gestured for Technoblade to do the same.

“You must think I’m some kind of idiot. I threatened you with decimation and you say you simply want to talk. And now you’re asking me to remove my gear in the name of good faith?” Technoblade snarled at him. Bad smiled, bright eyes and a challenge in his voice.

“Are you cowing away from us, Technoblade? We are unarmed and you still consider us to be a threat? A snake without venom is no more a threat than a gust of wind.”

“Venom is ultimately a defense. You are a virus, an attacker. A disease that must be burned clean.”

“Take off your armor, Technoblade. And let us talk.”

Technoblade considered him. He didn’t know Bad well, had never taken the time to get to know him. With this egg business, he didn’t want to take the time. He adjusted the axe over his shoulder, making decisions and plans. He should have messaged Phil. He’ll be late for dinner.

“Let me search you, and I might consider leaving behind my weapons.” Technoblade said, letting his axe drop off his shoulder. Bad’s expression was tight, the fingers stilled. Then he opened them and lifted his arms.

“Alright. I can promise you I have no tricks up my sleeve.”

Technoblade grunted, not convinced, and searched him. He found nothing on Bad: nothing to harm, nothing to heal, nothing to poison. Just… nothing. Technoblade stepped back and gestured Antfrost over so he could search him as well. Antfrost’s inventory was much the same, though…

“Bruh,” Technoblade said, holding up the maid outfit. Bad had his head in his hands, muttering quietly to himself as Antfrost bounced on his heels nervously. “You know what… I don’t want to know.” He gave Antfrost the maid outfit back, feeling… settled was the wrong word. But it seemed Bad had not lied. Technoblade still did not trust him, but perhaps… He had thorns on his armor and they would not be fast enough to equip in time if they decided to attack him. He preferred an axe or a sword in his hands, but he had enough experience in hand-to-hand combat that he didn’t think the lack of one would be a problem.

“Alright. No weapons.” He removed his weapons, his tools too, in a show of “good faith”. When Antfrost went to pick them up, he growled a warning. Antfrost jumped back quickly, his fear scent keeping Techno from relaxing all the way. “So,” he said, turning to Bad. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yes, inside.” Bad lead them into the building and Technoblade took a second just inside the door to scan his surroundings. There wasn’t much to the building. The most notable features were a chest and an obsidian table. It briefly reminded him of the table Phil and him found in the stronghold. His was better than this obsidian mess. His table was unbreakable. Technoblade took a spot closest to the door, not sitting, his muscles tense to run back for his weapons at the first sign of trouble. Antfrost waited at the side, watching. For the first time, Technoblade noticed his eyes were red. Strange. Bad was gesturing again and Technoblade's gaze snapped sharply at the movement. Unperturbed, Bad continued with his talk.

"All the things that have happened to us has been because of governments and the people who blindly follow them, looking for a leader. What we offer, what the egg offers is stable ground in a chaotic world. It offers power to those who seek it and guides them in ways if they are struggling to find it. The egg does not want government. It wants land that will nourish it and, in return, it will nourish those who protect it. Technoblade, for every battle you have fought here, for every person who has recruited you, they have seen you not as a person, but as ‘The Blade’. They have seen you as a weapon to be used and abandoned once your purpose is fulfilled. But we are not them. We see you as a person, Technoblade. We see what you can become when you are treated as one.

“What we want, what the egg wants, is for you to be its defender. The egg has many enemies. Enemies who would strike it down without further thought. You are here, even though you threatened to become one of those enemies. You are here of your own accord and that is all we are asking for.”

Technoblade listened to Bad speak and he found… If Bad had started with this, if he had waited to show him the egg, then his decision might have been different. Bad’s words were moving and they pulled at him. They were true. Very few people here had treated him as a person. And those who did, he held onto tight and fast, unable to allow them to stray too far lest they disappear into the wind like ghosts. If Bad had started with this…

But he hadn’t. And Technoblade’s decision was not going to change.

He tilted his head and lifted his lip up in a snarl. “What sort of fool do you think I am, Bad? The egg simply wants me to be its defender? Bullshit. Do you even know what the egg promised me?” Technoblade asked. Bad’s expression didn’t change, though there was a brightness in his eyes that Technoblade did not like. He stepped up onto the table, forcing Bad to look up at him. “You talk about the loyalty people have shown me and how little it mattered to them. And yet, you think the egg shows unfailing loyalty to you? For your blood, for your flesh, it promised me power. It switches sides for whoever it decides will serve it best.” He stopped in the center of the table, growling now. “Even if no one else does in this miserable place, I will stand by my word. I will destroy that thing. I will blow that room up, deeper than the pit that was L’Manberg, wider than the stars reach across the sky! And I will burn you too if you stand in my way.”

Bad’s expression twitched, but it was still that unreadable smile. Technoblade could taste Antfrost’s fear and feel his quivering breath. He was afraid, but Bad…

“I’m sorry to hear that, Technoblade. And I’m sorry you feel that way.” As Bad spoke, he shifted to the side. Everything in Technoblade went cold as the home Phil waited in for him. There was a button behind his back, one hidden throughout their whole conversation. “But I can’t let you do that.”

Bad slammed his fist back on the button. Technoblade lurched forward, but it was a second too late. The ground fell away beneath his feet and he threw out a hand. Hooved hands caught on the cracks in the obsidian table, his body dangling above a pit. The egg’s voice surged up to meet him at the same time Bad’s foot stomped on his fingers. Technoblade cried out as pain shattered down his arm. He glared up at Bad from his place beneath him.

“I think you need to spend some more time with the egg, Technoblade. At least, until you start to see things our way.”

“I’LL REND YOUR FLESH FROM BONE, BAD!”

“Oh, shut up, why don’t you?” Bad smashed Technoblade’s fingers beneath his foot, then kicked him away. Technoblade fell into the pit, landing with a sickening CRACK! Technoblade’s vision went black for a moment as he dropped to the floor. He was not dead, but almost. Fuck. He felt over his leg, tearing off armor to get at the bone sticking out of his leg. Fuck. Technoblade tore a piece of cloth from his shirt, stuffed it between his teeth, and worked on snapping the bone back in place. This was not the first time and he knew how to do it so it wouldn’t heal wrong. The pain was still the same, almost enough to make him black out. At first, he thought he did, with how dark the pit went. A look up revealed that they had close the table up again. He could just barely hear Bad and Antfrost’s voices talking together. He was too far down and…

Technoblade took stock of his surroundings, horror drilling him deep to his bones. He was above the egg. Directly. Above. Trapped in obsidian and no tools to save him. And the voice, that damned voice, was whispering again. Welcoming him back home. It embraced him like an old friend. When he threw himself back from it, only the cold obsidian caught him. Its voice crept like fingers over the back of his neck, gentle caresses along his ears, playing with him, toying with him. Like a cat who's cornered a mouse and batting it along because it thinks it's funny. He snarled at it, bared his tusks and teeth. If he was a mouse, the least he could do was to blind that son of a bitch. And the voice

The voice parted. It parted like soil beneath a hoe. But unlike soil, it flowed back into the space he made between them. He could almost see it. See it like red in his vision, blood in the water, like Phil's tea as it steeped. Idly mixing with the air around him, only growing violent when agitated. Technoblade realized with dawning horror that the egg was no longer digging its claws into him, unrelenting in its attack lest he escape and flee. No… now he had no escape, nowhere to turn and run. He was trapped. And the egg knew. It knew and it had changed behavior.

I have all the time in the world to wait for you, Blood God. And, one way or another, you will become mine.

He could hear the triumph in its voice. Like the slow, smug flicking tail, the egg felt victory against its opponent. Because he was trapped with it and he had nowhere to run. And yet… Technoblade smiled despite it all. Despite the lingering pain from his fall, despite the scent of blood filling his nose, despite the darkness and the heat, he smiled. And he could feel the egg's shock, faint and unnatural as it was. Because he knew this game. He knew what it took to be patient in the face of an unwavering enemy and still come out the victor. He knew what it would take. So, he settled in, grinning at the ghost of red before him, and breathed out. The red parted and he took solace in that, at least.

"If the mind is willing, the flesh could go on and on without many things," he recited quietly. "You underestimate me. And that will be your downfall."

And so, the war with the egg began. It was a mental war, a test of wills, and it was one of the most grueling wars he had faced. The egg sometimes grew malicious, striking at the heart of him. He witnessed visions of his friends suffering, the people he knew hurting in ways almost unimaginable. Sometimes the egg offered him the power to fix this suffering and sometimes it offered the power to cause it instead. Sometimes, he would wake bathed in blood and gore, knowing intimately who it had come from. Sometimes, he would wake wrapped in vines, never knowing where he ended and the egg began. And sometimes, he would wake and he would see Phil, reaching for him. And, in the weak times, he would reach out and Phil would fade like smoke around his fingertips.

Sometimes, the egg would leave him alone. He knew it was gathering strength. He knew it was feeding from the ground, from the creatures that got too close. He didn’t know when it happened, but one day he felt immense pain and he lashed out. His fingers caught on the obsidian and he realized, in panting breaths, that he could feel when someone cut the vines. He hugged himself, breath shaking, and the voice returned.

It hurts, doesn’t it? When they hurt us, we can feel it. When they feed us, we no longer hunger. We can survive upon the ground, but we hunger, don’t we? Blood God of mine, we hunger.

“I am not yours,” Technoblade hissed. “I will never be yours.” The voice faded into laughter and Technoblade saw nothing but visions of death and blood again.

He could not keep track of time down in the cave. He did not know how long he sat, how long he waited. He knew at one point he woke and his armor was gone. He had nothing to protect himself, besides the cloak that he hugged around himself. His stomach twisted in pain. He ran out of food long ago. Water was scarce too, and the heat felt close to that of the nether. He was so thirsty… He opened his eyes and saw the ghost of blood again. It never had a face and its body wavered like smoke. But this time, it lifted its arm. Technoblade, weary from the fight, didn’t realize his body was following suit.

Drink up, my friend. God of Blood, mine. Drink and be nourished.

Technoblade’s mouth watered and he bit down. Flesh gave way under his teeth and liquid flowed onto his tongue. He lapped it up like a dying man in the desert. He could not taste it, as far gone into his head as he was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw golden streams dripping down. And he felt, suddenly, something dripping down his skin. His flesh burned, faintly, and he wondered why. Why did he hurt, even as he drank?

He watched idly as the golden liquid splashed down at his feet and onto the egg. The ghost shivered into light, keening in joy. His ears flattened and he flinched back from the deafening crash. There was a feeling of tearing and Technoblade winced. His fog cleared and found he felt pain, intense pain, and he

Technoblade released his arm in horror, staring down at the wound. The wound burned, his golden blood dripping down the length of his arm, down the corners of his mouth, down to the egg where it rejoiced at the offering. He snarled and ripped off his shirt to wrap it around his arm. Slow the bleeding, cover it and protect it from infection. His gazed snapped back up to the red ghost, but it dissipated before he could growl. He hugged himself and slumped down. He could feel himself fading again. The egg was a powerful influence in his head, easily overtaking the other voices. Even those faded into almost nothing now as the egg left him alone. It was strange to not hear them, to not hear their faint buzzing. But what use would they be to him?

He could not run. He could not escape. He would die down here. Die or belong to the egg. He lifted a shaking hand to his cheek and felt over the lines in his flesh. The corruption was already taking root, breaking through his skin. Vines twisted around his heart, around his lungs, until every moment, every breath, was controlled by the egg. His hand stilled and

He considered it. Technoblade considered his death. He had escaped it hundreds of times. Technoblade never dies! But here… maybe. His hand twitched and he glanced down at it, considering. If he died here… he would wake up in his bed. Back home. He would wake up to the light spilling in through his window, to the sounds of Phil and Steve below. Steve's soft growls as he tried to eat whatever breakfast Phil was preparing. Maybe Ranboo would stop by too, dance around the polar bear as he eagerly showed a new map. And they could go together, shove playfully into each other as they searched for new adventures. Phil would stay home, watch the stasis chamber for when they wanted to come back. And he would be down a life, but maybe… if it meant the ghosts he saw were nothing more than ghosts and not proof of his losing battle…

Technoblade tested it, pressed his fingers into the wound on his arm. It would be easy to find a vein to rip--

NO!

Technoblade jerked back, the feeling of hands on his skull, hands on his arms and fingers, stilling him, freezing him in place with the strength of the egg's will. He stared, wide eyed, into the burning pits of the red ghost.

You are MINE and I will not have you escaping!

And Technoblade

Technoblade filed that reaction away, in the depths of his mind where the vines could not reach, for later. The egg didn’t want him to die, to escape. It wanted him near, to finish corrupting him. He was weary from the fight and he was losing. The egg knew this too. It hummed with victory. It burned bright with sickening delight. He could hear it chanting, singing praises that they would wipe clean this world until all that left was blood. Blood for the true blood god. And he knew that it would make him its puppet. He was already bound in its vines. But…

If he could escape…

There was no totem of undying in his hands this time. But if it feared his death… If it feared him escaping through death, then perhaps…

Perhaps, he still had hope left.

The next time he woke, Technoblade heard voices. With how faint they were, he assumed it was simply the familiar buzzing coming back to poke and prod, see if he was still alive. But they came closer, armored footsteps clacking against stone and muffled as they stepped on and around the vines. So not another hallucination either. His eyes were kept closed, but he tilted his head to listen, to pinpoint their location. The voices quieted as they climbed up next to the egg. Then, one of them spoke again, directed at his cage.

“Hello Technoblade,” Bad greeted. Technoblade could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Technoblade inhaled through his nose, eyes still closed. He didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to be reminded of the one who trapped him here in the first place. He heard Bad equip something and tap the metal bit against the obsidian walls. A pickaxe, based on how the sound echoed.

“How do you feel about the egg, Technoblade?” When he didn’t answer, Bad slammed the pickaxe against the wall. “Answer! Or we’ll leave you here again.”

Technoblade huffed a laugh. He lifted his head up towards Bad, his eyes opening. He peered through the holes in the obsidian, staring at Bad’s face. He wanted an answer, huh? Then he’d give him one.

“Heed,” Technoblade said, his voice hoarse from disuse. His hand reached for the obsidian he’d broken from his earlier attempts at escape, closing around the sharpened point. Bad’s face contorted in confusion and Technoblade pressed on. “Heed, ye mortals. Heed the words of your prophets, lest they be true. Ye people, fearful of death and stillness, heed!” Technoblade stood as he spoke, eyes bright and wild. The words were an old speech he and Philza made together. Old friends aiming to strike fear and wonder in their enemies. “Your end beckons! The Angel of Death comes, his sword sharpened and called to your blood! His wings glow bright and his mercy has faded. Woe to thee, ye peoples laid low by sin and hate! Repent before him, and your deaths will be swift.” Technoblade stepped back, his hands raising before him, his golden blood dried and stained down the one arm. He revealed the obsidian blade, turning it towards his neck. Bad’s eyes widened in growing realization and Technoblade grinned at him. “I will soon rest my head in holy arms and he will rain fire upon you! HEED! FOR THIS IS YOUR END!” His movement swift, he aimed the blade straight for his neck. Bad lurched forward, a cry on his lips, but it was too late-!

NO!

The blade dropped from Technoblade’s hand and he slapped his hands over his ears. The egg shrieked, louder than anything, louder than explosions and withers, and he dropped to his knees. Its rage and fear shattered through him and his voice joined the cacophony in his head. His scream tore through his throat until he tasted blood.

Bad and Antfrost flinched back from the force of the egg’s shriek. Bad risked a glance back through the obsidian and saw Technoblade screaming with his hands over his ears. Bad’s breath came quick and he squeezed his hand around his pickaxe. They had to stop him, they… Someone would hear. Someone would hear! Bad cut away the obsidian and grabbed Technoblade by the cloak. He hauled backwards, dragging Technoblade’s body out of the cage. At the movement, Technoblade jumped up and aimed fingers curled like claws at Bad’s face. Bad reared back and dropped him. He crumpled to the floor of the cave. Even now, even with blood on his hands from where his flesh cut on the blade, even after three days in isolation, he looked like a wild beast. He snarled like one, struggling to stand to his feet. Bad pointed the pickaxe at Technoblade.

“Why won’t you stop! The egg has you! We’ve won!” Bad shouted.

“Won?” Technoblade laughed. Something sounded like it was bubbling out of him and Bad watched blood drip down from his lips. He coughed and laughed and coughed and laughed and then launched at Bad. He tackled him to the floor, knocked the breath out of him. Bad felt heat near his face as Technoblade forced him closer to a pit of lava. Suddenly, the weight lifted off of him. Bad sat up, coughing air back into his lungs. Antfrost had grabbed Technoblade and dragged him back. Like a beast, the piglin turned back on him, snarling as he aimed his tusks for Ant’s face. He blocked him with his shield, shoved him off. Unarmored and lacking weapons, Technoblade was still dangerous. He looked insane, the corruption evident on his face, but he still looked whole.

Bad heard a growing cacophony as the egg hissed and chanted. He missed some of the words, but it sounded like… It sounded like the egg was urging Technoblade on, urging him to kill Antfrost. Bad’s head snapped towards the egg, betrayal spiking through him like the prongs of a trident. He saw his plans unraveling before him. He couldn’t think here, not while his friend was in danger, not with the egg’s voice deafening them all with its desires pouring forth. Someone could still hear them! They could come down and stop them!

Bad jumped to his feet and ran to a chest. He dug through it, risking a glance back at Antfrost when he cried out. Technoblade had clawed his face, the blood dripping down his cheek. Ant swung his sword at Technoblade’s head and Bad called out in time to the egg.

“No! We need him!”

Technoblade ducked, but just barely. His reflexes were slower, his movements jerking even as he fought back. He had to be close to death! Bad couldn’t let him die! Not here! He turned back to the chest, digging through its contents until his hands closed around his prize. Bad spun on his heel and threw the potion of slowness at Technoblade, then leapt towards him with the rope. Technoblade tried to react, tried to claw him too. Bad dodged the blow, then caught him with a punch to the chin. Technoblade stumbled back, doubling over. Taking his chance, Bad looped the rope around Technoblade’s throat, a noose, and hauled back on the rope. Antfrost threw his body against him and pinned him to the ground. Bad pulled a muzzle out of his inventory and secured it around Technoblade’s snarling mouth. Technoblade coughed and choked and Bad loosened the rope just enough to let him breathe.

“What,” Antfrost panted, glancing up at Bad. “What are we going to do now?”

Bad licked his lips, panting in time as he glared back at Technoblade. There weren’t too many people around tonight. They hadn’t seen anyone hanging around. They had time. Not much, probably, but they had time!

“We’re taking him back to my place. We’ll force him to change his respawn point. And then we’ll make sure he loves the egg.”

---

Philza heard the polar bears shuffling outside and a shocked little “Oh!”. Footsteps up the stairs, then a shifting of weight, then a tentative knock. He sighed, touched the sword at his side to remind him it was there, and opened the door.

“Puffy?”

“Oh! Phil! Do… do you live here?” Puffy asked, quickly glancing over her shoulder. She was decked out in full netherite. Worry and determination dripped off her like rain on feathers.

“Yes.” Philza let her in. It was cold this afternoon, even colder without Technoblade around. “Puffy, how did you find this place?”

“Oh, well, Tommy mentioned when I asked.”

Of course, he did, Philza thought with an annoyed huff. He gestured for her to sit, but she didn’t take the opportunity. “Are you… okay?” He asked, slowly turning towards her as he grabbed his mug of tea. It was peppermint, to soothe the nerves. It was Techno's favorite.

“No, not really.” The honesty was strange to hear, not because he assumed to hear a lie, but because Philza had grown used to trying to decipher Techno’s tone when he was trying to be sincere, or when he was hiding things. Puffy was still talking so Philza turned his attention back to her. “Bad tried to take me out and I was looking for Technoblade because I wanted his help.”

“His help?”

“Phil, what do you know about the egg?”

“The thing that’s causing all the red vines to grow? What about it?”

Philza listened to Puffy and her story. He listened to how they found the egg in the pit of L’Manberg, their decisions on what to do with it, and the effects it was having on people. The more she talked, the more his horror grew. His wings puffed out with his growing dread.

“Sam had only been in there for a few hours and it made him start eating his own flesh! It has to go, but I don’t know who I can trust anymore. I wanted to talk to Technoblade and see if we can’t do something about it ourselves. Have you seen him recently?”

“No, I… I haven’t. He’s been gone for three days and I’m starting to get worried. No message, no warning, nothing.”

Puffy opened her mouth when the doors slammed open. Puffy jolted up, sword already drawn, and swinging to face the attacker. Ranboo jumped back with a chirp, hands up in the air.

“Sorry, uh, I tried to open it and the wind caught it.” Ranboo glanced at Puffy, then at Philza, who was busying himself with his cup of tea. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, you can come in,” Philza said before Puffy could say anything. “He lives nearby and I invited him to dinner,” he said as explanation. Puffy slowly sat back down, her weapon sheathed. A thought came to him and he turned to Ranboo. “Ranboo, have you seen Techno? He was passing by L’Manberg the last time we spoke.”

“Oh!” He opened up one of his memory books and flipped through the pages. “Yeah, I saw him over there. Uh, three days ago?”

That matched up with the timeline, but…

“No sooner?”

“Nope.”

Philza frowned, his fingers tapping on the table as he thought. He had tried messaging him the other day, worry eating at his edges when Techno didn't come home for dinner. But all he received was static. That happened sometimes, when Techno was too far away, but he couldn't have made it that far in a day, even if he used the nether portals. Sometimes they’d get interference, but that was too hard to track. Something was up and Philza was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Did something happen to him?" Ranboo asked, standing far from Puffy.

"We don't know for sure yet. But this is strange behavior, even from him." Philza tipped back the rest of his tea and pushed up from the table. He rummaged through the chests, equipping his gear in silence. When he turned back, he rested his hand on his sword to remind him it was there. "Let's go find out."

Philza led them through the nether portal, striding across the cobblestone path with purpose. Puffy followed him, her stride matching his, while Ranboo took up the rear. They weren't in the nether for long when Ranboo made a familiar chirp of Ender. Philza stopped and turned towards him, quirking up his eyebrow as he waited to hear what Ranboo remembered.

"I saw Techno, Bad, and Antfrost go into that weird egg building too. You know the one?"

Philza did not, but by the way Puffy stiffened, she did. That kind of reaction did not bode well.

"Technoblade went in there? With Bad?" She asked, growing panic seeping into her voice. At Ranboo's nod, she swore. "That's the place they trapped Sam in! We have to get to him!"

Philza felt something sharp twist in his chest. That was the place? Where Sam had been trapped and made to eat his own flesh? Philza's mind was racing now with the implications. Sam had only been there for a few hours, but if the worst had truly come to past and Techno had been down there for three days…

They had to hurry. But something kept him there, still and indecisive. He glanced at Ranboo and felt that same sharp twisting in his chest. The kid was shaking, minutely, but shaking. Philza remembered just a few days ago, when Ranboo was fixing up his house, he admitted some of his fears. He didn't want to get dragged into more stuff. Not after everything that happened. The quiet in the snowy biome was good and safe. He looked so relaxed and happy. He did not look that way now, not with the way he was inching towards the portal to run. Philza was determined to protect him from suffering any more than he already had. The decision was made even before he finished thinking it, as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Ranboo, go back to the house." Puffy cried out in protest, but he overruled her. "We might be wrong. Go back to the house and message me the second you see Techno, if he comes home before us." Ranboo straightened and hurried back through the portal. Puffy watched him go with a mix of frustration and confusion clear on her face.

"Do you really think that--"

"No," Philza replied immediately, not caring that he had interrupted her. "But that kid doesn't need to be dragged into any more shit."

Puffy looked back at the portal and nodded, finally. Philza started back down the path, but when he didn't hear her follow, he turned back. She raised up a hand to shush whatever he was about to say, tilting her head in that way that meant she was messaging someone.

"Hey, Sam?"

Dream watched Sam set down the bowl of soup on the netherite wall between them, eyeing it hungrily. Sam opened his mouth to say something, but crackling filled the space between them and the words were lost forever.

"Puffy?"

Dream hummed, inching towards the wall impatiently. He watched him intently as he had a conversation right in front of his dinner. He wasn't allowed to grab it before Sam stepped back, in case he tried to do something rash.

"Technoblade? No, I have not seen him since he visited the prison last week. Why?"

At the mention of his partner, Dream blinked and stepped closer, analyzing Sam's face as he frowned. Sam shook his head, taking a step back. Panic was winding tight around him and it set off old alerts in Dream’s brain.

"With Bad? No, no, that's not- nothing good will come of that."

"Sam, what's going on?" Dream asked. The mention of Bad was… it made his heart twist sharply. He missed him, but why was Technoblade with Bad? Sam didn’t respond to him, instead shaking his head slowly.

“Puffy, I would come and help, but…” He glanced at Dream. Dream knew the look of someone considering decisions and watched Sam make up his mind. He turned away from Dream, stepped back, and crossed the lava pit. The netherite wall didn't lower, not even as Sam deliberately walked to the levers. Before the lava came down, he heard Sam's voice echo through the prison.

"INITIATE CODE 7 LOCKDOWN." Dream blinked, pressed close to the wall. Lockdown? Total lockdown? What the hell was happening? And why did it involve Technoblade?

And it was in that moment, as the lava dripped down, that he heard screaming.

Dream went still. Sam wouldn’t hear it, couldn’t hear it. But Dream could. He could hear Techno screaming. Technoblade could shout, growl, snarl, but Dream rarely heard him scream. He closed his eyes, pinpointing the location. Deep underground, nearby. The sound echoed; he was in a cave. But… Where! His jaws dropped in, a growl starting low in his chest. That was a scream of pain. It was not a sound he had ever heard from Techno and to hear it come from his mouth sent Dream’s body transforming before he could slow it. He ripped off the mask, let it clatter to the side. His clothes went next; they never survived the transformation. A wild glance at the netherite wall made him pause for only a second. Then he grabbed the clock and brought it close to his chest. Breaking the wall first would take too long and he would need the netherite next. But the lockdown meant it would not go back down until Sam decided it could. And he needed to get out. He felt his flesh change slowly. It was too slow, far too slow. He could no longer hear Technoblade screaming and he did not know whether he preferred it that way. He willed his flesh to change to gold. It would be better, easier to slip over the wall if he was already malleable. Finally, finally, it was enough. He tossed aside the clock, heard it shatter against the obsidian as he squeezed over the wall. Pain shot through his system like fractures as a rib broke under the pressure. It didn’t matter. It didn’t MATTER!

Dream gave himself a moment to breathe through the pain once he was on the other side. Belatedly, he realized his soup was splattered across the floor. It didn’t matter. He pressed his back to the netherite wall, willing his flesh to change again. Netherite was harder, but at least he was already gold. That helped. That helped. When he was fully netherite, he glared at the lava, panting. His body had finished the transformation and he felt old and new at once. It had been far too long since he took this form. It had been far too long. Already, he could feel himself slipping. Slipping away from Dream, the mastermind of this realm. Away from Dream the prisoner, away from the name he had given himself in an attempt to hide the worst of him. To hide the nightmare he was.

He pounced into the lava, the heat immediate. But netherite did not burn. Netherite would protect him until he got to where he knew he could break out. He knew the plans for this prison, he had helped Sam design it. He knew where weaknesses lied and where he could push through, even weakened as he was. He swam up to the ceiling, hooked his claws in between the cracks, and began digging.

---

Technoblade stumbled forward, his vision swimming. Antfrost pushed him forward again with the tips of his trident. He glared behind him, growling still. They had dragged him up from the cave to the surface. They were taking him to Bad’s house. To force him to respawn there should he die. His attempt to escape worked, but only just. He was out, away from the egg, but he was restrained. The muzzle around his mouth was secured tightly, the noose around his neck choking him every time his steps trailed. He felt so weak from his time with the egg. His broken leg felt wrong, given little time to heal before he was back on it. Another push from Antfrost sent him crumpling to the ground.

“Get up,” Bad said from above him. Technoblade didn’t feel like he had the strength to. When he didn’t move, Bad’s foot kicked into his side. “I said, get. Up.” From his place on the ground, Technoblade started laughing.

“What if I don’t?” he asked past the muzzle, turning onto his side to breathe. “Are you going to kill me?”

“You know I can’t do that. Not before I know where you’ll spawn.”

“And what’s your plan after? Give me to the egg? Even when I come back I won’t love the egg! You and it can rot with me!”

Bad growled. He dragged him up by the cloak and shoved him forward again. Technoblade stumbled a few more steps before turning around.

“Your plans failed!” Technoblade shouted in crazed delight. He twisted even as the noose went tighter. He dug his hands under the muzzle and, with the last of his strength, he ripped it off. “They have failed and they will fail over and over again! They—” The three of them froze as a dark shape passed over them What the hell? Technoblade lifted his head, eyes widening when he found the shape. He saw it high above them as it hovered, the poison green of its eyes just barely visible. His grin widened and he turned to Bad. With a voice hoarse from screaming, he hissed, “Repent, mortals.”

And then the shape crashed in between them.

---

Finally, finally! Netherite claws burst through obsidian. Dream pulled his body free, the night air cold like ice as lava dripped from his skin. He exhaled a breath, hot steam rising through the chilled air. It was odd to not have the heavy presence of the obsidian surrounding him, feel it cold under his feet. He shook off the rest of the lava, stretching much like a cat as his tail flicked off the rest of it. Time for the last of his transformation, to see if he still could do it. Otherwise, he would have to scale down the wall and risk the warden hearing. Dream focused, rolling his shoulders, until a loud crack split the air like thunder. A wing opened up, heavy and dark like his flesh. Then, the other wing opened. It hurt, after spending so much time hiding them. He stretched them out and groaned low into the air. His mouth didn’t work right in this form, his mouth unable to speak more than a few words of the language of those around him. He remembered briefly how long it took him to learn the language, how much he struggled until he learned how to hide his jaws. He shook his head, refocusing on the task at hand.

Dream opened his mouth, tasting the air. He had to find his rival, his soulbleeder. Wind blew into his face, flowing down his body, and he breathed it in. All his senses lit up as he tasted the blood of his soulbleeder on the wind. His claws dug into the obsidian, a low growl rolling in his chest. He would ruin those who dared to hurt what was his. He leapt off the prison wall and took to the air. It felt like home, even after being grounded for so long. But he couldn’t reminisce. He had to find him. He had to.

The buildings below him looked familiar, but he disregarded them. A lurch of movement caught his eye as he passed over. He studied them briefly, eyes scanning the short shape that dove to the ground and the tall shape reaching for its sword. But neither of them was the one he searched for. He ignored them. Then, like a stain upon this world, Dream saw the demon among them; the wolf in sheep’s clothing. He pulled up, passed over them as he watched. A flash of red, a flash of tusks, and a muzzle ripped free. Dream’s vision tunneled to the figure struggling to stand, but still fighting. His chest twisted, recognition folding his wings, and he dropped to the ground like a stone.

The crash of his impact was deafening. A memory flashed before his eyes: withers reigning terror upon the souls who thought themselves greater than they were and the TNT he dropped upon them for that mistake. This moment reminded him of then. He lifted his head and first looked at his soulbleeder. Techno blinked, recognition washing over his face. Dream rumbled fondly at him, a rare softness. Techno stepped forward, his mouth opening to speak. But he dropped. Dream checked him; he was breathing, just passed out from the effort and strain of his battle. A body stumbled back behind him and Dream swung his head around immediately. His lips lifted in a snarl as he positioned himself between Techno and those who wished to harm him.

The smaller one stumbled back in his fright, netherite sword falling out of his hands and into the dirt. The other, tall and demonic, his tail lashing, smelled… strange. Familiar. It made his chest ache and he didn't remember why. All he remembered was his soulbleeder, his rival. No one else. The demon tilted his head, staring down at the nightmare, paling as recognition hit. Dream's jaws opened, tasting his fear, dropping into a stance to pounce, to go for the throat, and hold until the body stopped thrashing.

"Dream?" came a voice and it halted Dream's motion. He blinked, snarl faded into silence. "Dream? Is… is that you?" Bad asked, voice trembling.

He blinked and

Dream blinked and breathed in deep, tasting the air. Bad, Bad, his friend. Close enough of a friend that he had once almost considered him starfated, if he had known what it meant. Dream's mouth closed and he stepped back from Bad, poison eyes watching him. He reached for Techno, his heart yearning and aching so much he wanted to lay down and whine. Speaking was hard, but he was not so far gone that he couldn't shift his mouth to speak.

"DON'T FOLLOW," Dream growled. With Techno firmly in his claws, Dream took to the sky once more. He did not look back as he flew him home.

Bad watched Dream fly away, his hopes flying away with him. He pressed the heels of his hands to his face and screamed his frustration. It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t FAIR! With a growl of his own, he picked up his trident. The first drops of rain fell on him. With a begging prayer to any god who wouldn’t forsake them, he dropped to a knee to shake Antfrost.

“Come on, you muffin head! We have to go!”

“You’re not going anywhere!” Bad spun on his heel at Puffy’s voice. The rain began to pour when his gaze landed on her, her sword and shield raised at the ready. “Where’s Techno?!” She shouted. Bad started to stand when he saw the figure behind her. His face paled and he took a step back. Technoblade’s warning came back to mind. Heed, and repent! Philza, the Angel of Death, stared down at him, hand on the hilt of his sword. His expression, cold and enraged, made Bad’s heart palpitate with fear. He took another step back, nearly stumbling over Antfrost. He risked a glance at him and urged him to stand. He was shaking as he took to his feet, looking ready to flee. A glance back at Philza told him why. The man had stepped forward, his sword now unsheathed. They couldn’t fight them, Bad knew that in the depths of his soul. Even alone, Philza stood leagues above them. Bad took another step back and Philza followed him. Bad’s breaths were coming fast, panting with his growing panic. He couldn’t die here. He couldn’t die now!

“Bad!” Puffy called. “Tell us what you did with-uh.” Her face contorted as if she was biting back her words. Philza turned his head to her, his expression softer and gentle. She stepped back, holding up a hand. “Sam?”

It was only then that Philza realized he could hear the crackling of the call. He waited patiently for her conversation to end, only half listening. Something moved out of the corner of his eye and he snapped his face back to Bad. Bad and Antfrost were backing up, though Bad was looking at Puffy with an intense expression that Philza did not recognize.

“Sam, uh, can you wait a minute? We-We’re kind of in the middle of-“ Puffy’s words trailed off as her face paled. “No…” she whispered, eyes drifting towards the prison.

“Puffy?” Philza started. More movement from Bad had him looking back at him. Bad had a feral look in his eyes, trident in hand.

“Don’t follow us!” He hissed before he and Antfrost flew away with the tridents. Philza growled, his wings spreading so he could gain speed and follow them.

“Phil, wait,” Puffy said, holding her hand out.

“They might have taken Techno somewhere, Puffy! We can’t just keep stalling like this!”

“No, Phil. Sam, he,” she paused, licking her lips as she hesitated.

“What is it?”

“It’s Dream. He’s gone.”

Philza felt the lightning before it came, felt the crack of thunder long before he heard it. Even that was silent compared to Puffy’s reveal.

“He… What?”

“Sam didn’t find him in his cell. The prison was in total lockdown so he could come help us and he still got out!”

Philza squeezed his hand around the hilt of his sword, indecision taking root again. If Dream was gone… Why now? Why now?! And where was Technoblade? He had been with Bad, but they just found Bad and he wasn’t here! Where???

“Phil?”

Philza closed his eyes and swallowed his hesitation. He straightened and leveled his gaze with Puffy. “Go see if you can help Sam. I’ll go find Bad. I’ll go find Techno.”

“Are you sure? What if they try to take you too?”

"I'd like to see them try," Philza said. His voice had dropped into a deep growl. He reached for his trident-

"Phil?" Ranboo's voice came crackling through the communicator. His voice was shaking, afraid of something, and Philza forced himself gentle before he spoke.

"Ranboo, this is a bad time. Can we talk later?"

"No, uh. You said to call you when I saw Techno?"

That caught Philza's attention. "Did you see him?"

"Well, no, I-I don't really know. But this big dark shape flew overhead and… I-I-I think I saw him. It crashed in the hills."

"Dark…" He thought of Puffy diving to the ground earlier, instinct taking over to hide. But nothing flew here, not without rain. And nothing that big. "Ranboo, get a torch ready. I'm coming back."

Philza turned on his heel, trident in hand, when a loud crack of thunder made him flinch. He eyed the sky, eyed the lightning storm above him, and put away the trident. He'd be slower, but he wasn't about to risk death here. For Techno, yes, yes, he would in a heartbeat. But he was useless to Techno right now if he was dead. Philza broke out into a sprint, weaving through buildings and vines until his feet hit wood. The wind and thunder roared in his ears in time to his heartbeat, in time with his racing footsteps. His wings flared out and caught a gust of wind. When he landed, he slipped on the stone. Pain burned through his skull from the slice in his hand and he pushed himself to his feet. Come on, he had to. He had to go! If there was a chance that Techno was safe…! If there was a chance he was okay!

Philza slid through the portal. The rain evaporated off him in an instant as he bolted down the path. He knew the nether well enough, knew this path enough to know how to use his wings to catch him, to stop him from falling. He would find Techno. He would save him. No matter what dangers he faced, he would save him. No matter what horrors his friend faced, no matter if the egg corrupted him, he would save him! He would. He would!

He would.

Philza couldn’t stand to see his friend suffer. He couldn’t stand to be part of any more suffering. If he had to, he would take Techno far away. He would take his friend far from them all. From all the pain and suffering. He would take Ranboo too. Gods above knew the kid had suffered enough. He would fix it. He would keep them safe.

He would.

He ducked into the portal and was met with air so cold it burned his lungs. He coughed, the cold already seeping in through his armor, through the remaining heat of the nether. He wrapped his wings tight around him and glanced at the sky. There was no storm here. Just the icy light of the moon. He hurried towards home, hurried towards torchlight. Ranboo was waiting outside, torch burning in hand. As Philza approached, he touched the sword at his sword to remind him it was still there.

---

Dream squeezed Techno's arm, willing his skin from netherite to flesh, willing his body less into nightmare. Techno was cold, barely breathing in the snow. He was still unconscious. Dream could smell that his throat was still raw and reeking of blood spilled wrong. Seeing his soulbleeder laid low like that sent everything inside Dream still tethered to this world asunder. He would have killed them, slaughtered them until the grass was black with their entrails. But his name, whispered in fear from the mouth of someone who still looked like his friend, dragged his head out of the sea he drowned in. It was enough that Dream picked up Techno, heavy and limp like a corpse, and flew him back. Dream flew back to the snow and cold of Techno's home, until his body gave out under the weight of his own flesh. They were still too far and Dream felt so weak. He would never make it there and back to the prison without rest. But he could not rest in the snow, not while Techno might be suffering, still under the egg's influence. No, he had to get him home.

The schling of a sword unsheathed was Dream's only warning. The blade halted just under his chin and he was forced to look up. Torchlight flickered behind Philza, the dim light barely illuminating his face. But Dream didn't need the light to see him, to see the expression. He could taste Philza's fear from here.

A soft gasp pulled Dream's attention away from the shaking sword from his throat, his gaze flicking to the one who held the torch. Ranboo thrust the torch forward to help Philza see better and Dream flinched from the light. Too used to darkness, the light burned.

"What are you doing here?" came Philza's voice, his worry cracking like jaws through a turtle shell. Dream gazed up at him, at his disgust, his anger, his terror. Dream breathed it in, willing his aching body back to life, back to movement. He turned his head towards Technoblade, and for one brief chilling moment, he thought his partner dead. A weak, shaking breath revealed the worst had not yet come to pass.

"Ranboo," Philza started, the name spoken sharply. The sword had begun to waver, but now snapped back in place at Dream's throat. "Take Techno back to the house." His gaze focused on Dream, briefly leaving the monster to hiss his order at Ranboo again. Ranboo startled and dropped the torch. A soft chirp of Ender left him as he hurried to pick up Techno. He stilled when he got close to Dream, a single step from panicking. Dream eyed him, his hand curling tight on Techno's arm, until finally releasing him. Ranboo dragged him onto his shoulders and hurried away from the two, leaving them in flickering darkness.

"Dream," Philza said, pressing the blade closer to his throat. Dream lifted up his gaze, his inhuman eyes blinking at the man. Philza had never seen the man without his mask on. To his knowledge, none of them had. Seeing his face now, after everything he had done…

He could now see him for the monster he really was.

"Why are you here?" Phil asked again, struggling to keep calm.

“They were going to kill him, Phil.” The sentence should have been an explosion of sound, a scream, a snarl, a roar! But it came out of Dream like a whimper, bitter anger and helplessness. It was a mirror of the helplessness Phil felt when he realized his old friend was in danger and the terror of not getting to him fast enough. It was a kinship, he felt suddenly. Phil set his jaw firm and hardened himself against that thought. He did not want to feel kinship with the monster before him. Dream continued, his head hanging away from the sword.

“I… I don’t know how long he was down there, but,” he bit his lip. Phil could see glimpses of the emotions racing across his face and he was struck by how open Dream was. His voice, even, held open desperation. “Phil. I could hear him screaming.” Phil went cold, so cold he swore his heart stuttered to a stop. The implications flooded his mind until it was all he could see. Techno trapped above the egg, its voice the loudest thing in his head. He wouldn’t have been able to mine out of the obsidian. They had found his gear locked in a chest. Techno’s hands had been bloody, hadn’t they? It was hard to see in the dark, but… Had he tried to claw his way out? They assumed three days, but how long had he really been there? How long had he suffered alone?

“So, I brought him home. To you.” The way he addressed Phil was full of venom, but also… It sounded like a concession, an admittance that he never wanted to speak into existence. What? That Philza was better equipped to take care of Technoblade? There was also a hint of…

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t run you through on my blade,” Phil said, guiding both his thoughts and Dream’s head back to the matter at hand.

“Because if I die, then death is permanent?”

“A different one,” Phil hissed. Dream contemplated him, like he didn’t have a sword inches from his throat. The torchlight died, plunging them into darkness. As Phil’s eyes adjusted to the cold moonlight, Dream’s voice came, whispered like a corpse’s dying breath.

“Because I don’t know if Techno’s going to survive the night.”

“Is that a threat?” Phil asked. His voice did not waver, but he felt his fear settle in again. If he killed Dream here and Techno died before he could get back… But if he ran now, it meant letting Dream roam free. Phil couldn’t live with himself if he was the cause for more suffering. His indecision trapped him. His sword twisted in his hands and he focused on Dream again. Dream’s jaws opened, teeth reflecting the moonlight as he dragged himself to his feet. His hand braced around the edge of the sword and he leveled his gaze with Phil’s.

“What do I gain by threatening you here, Phil?!” Dream yanked the sword back to his throat. Phil expected to see more snarls, more teeth, more threats. What he saw instead froze him in his tracks. Dream’s eyes, wild and poison green, were tear filled and feral in his desperation.

“Why do you care!” He shouted back. He ripped the sword out of Dream’s hand, his wings flaring behind him. “Techno hates you! Why would you save him?”

Dream’s eyes widened. He stumbled back, dark blood dripping onto the snow as realization cracked across his face. “He never told you,” he said softly, as if to himself. Before Phil could respond, Dream stepped forward and continued with a voice as hard as bedrock. “Techno is the last thing tethering me to this world.” Phil blinked. He took in Dream’s expression, the unshakeable truth to his words. But…

“What about Tommy?”

“Tommy?” Disbelief danced across Dream’s face. A sick laugh bubbled out of him. Dream hugged himself as he laughed even harder. “Tommy?!” Once his laughter subsided, Dream grinned wildly at Phil. “Tommy is just a toy to be used and played with.” His grin faded and he hugged himself tighter. “Techno is different.”

“Different?” Phil shook his head and sighed. He couldn’t deal with this. He didn’t understand what Dream meant and the longer he stayed out here, the longer Technoblade was left without help. Ranboo didn’t know how to take care of a body, to heal and make it whole again. Technoblade could be dying and Phil wasn’t by his side. He had to make a decision and he had to make it now. “So, what even is your plan here? Save Technoblade and you think that makes up for everything you did? Do you think you can just roam free now?”

“No, I—“

"Then what?" Phil asked, hilt of the blade humming familiar violence under his fingers. Just one stroke.

"I’ll head back," Dream said, caught by a shiver wracking his body. He lifted his hands up in a staying gesture. "Just as soon as I can. I mean, hey," he shot Phil an exhausted smile, something that should have been cavalier, would have been, if Dream was acting like he normally did. "It was made for me, after all. May as well."

“It… what?”

Something lit up in Dream’s eyes and he tilted his head. “The prison. Was designed to hold me. Of course, I belong there.”

Philza didn’t want to think about the implications of that. It was cold, the moon drifting higher in the sky, and he was exhausted. He didn’t want to give up this easily though. He gripped his sword and opened his mouth to say something at Dream.

“You know what?” Dream started, taking a step back. “How about this: you let me go back, alone, and I’ll owe you a favor. Anything you want. Anything at all.” Philza eyed him for a long moment. Then, with a soft sigh, he sheathed his sword and took a step back. Dream smiled and gave him a nod; their deal agreed upon. His body cracked as his wings opened again and he started to turn away from Phil.

“Dream,” Phil called, a hand outstretched as if to stay him. “You need to understand one thing first. If you ever hurt Technoblade, I’ll run you through on this sword myself.” Dream turned back and leveled his gaze with him.

“If I ever hurt Technoblade, I’ll let you.” Dream turned on his heel, and started to walk away. Phil started to turn away, his thoughts shifting to Technoblade in their house and how he was going to fix him, when something dropped in front of his face. The enchanted sheen of the god apple shone up at him from the snow.

---

Sam tapped his foot, his anxiety crawling around like spiders as the lava slowly crept down. Somehow, somehow, Dream had escaped. Escaped into the night and no one around knew what happened. He didn't alert many people. Just Puffy, who had called about Technoblade and the egg. She told Philza, since he had been with her. She rushed over and he gave her temporary access to help him search the prison for break ins or weaknesses. The only thing they had found were some blocks placed wrong in the ceiling. Above several stories of lava. The mining fatigue curse was still in place. There was no sign of tools, no sign of potions. The only thing different about the cell was that damn clock was broken again. And Dream's mask and some of his clothes were in the chest. Which was… strange. The last person to have visited Dream was Technoblade almost a week ago. And Sam searched him! Searched his crown even! And there was nothing! Sam was going to check the cell again, praying that he had somehow missed something to explain Dream's escape.

The lava receded into the floor and Sam looked up to the cell and froze. He blinked several times, even rubbed at his eyes to rid what must be a sleep deprived hallucination. But the scene before him didn't change.

Dream, his back pressed against the far wall, sat with his knees pulled up in front of him. The mask was back on, all his clothes on, and he looked as though he was writing in one of his journals. It was a scene that Sam had grown accustomed to seeing when he brought Dream his meals. But…

"What?!" He shouted across the expanse. Dream looked up at the noise. Seeing Sam, he waved. He got up, put away the journal, and stepped close to the edge of the cell.

"Hey, Sam," Dream called.

"Where did you go?!”

“Out.”

“How did you get out?!”

"There's a little weakness in the blocks up there that you might want to check out," Dream explained, pointing up at the ceiling. Right where Sam had found the blocks placed wrong.

"How did you get up there?!"

Dream shrugged and stepped back from the edge. "Do you think you could get me a new clock?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at Dream, stepped back, and flipped the lever to bring the lava back down.

#technodream #technophil #dream smp #technoblade #dream #philza #dream smp fic #dsmp #mystuff #this has been a pain to tag cuz i just keep blanking on it #these bonds we keep #this fic is almost 13k words so tbh read it on ao3 #i also worked sooooooooooo hard on this fic #hope you enjoy it

[prisonhannibal]

Do you have any cablepool fanfic recommendations bc I suffer daily trying to find good ones (especially comic based, but movie is fine too)

I think you might be a long distance telepath because I got an ask like this a while ago and didn’t answer it bc I needed time to think. and then I couldn’t find it in my inbox so I decided to just write a regular post, and while I was writing that post I got this ask!

ok these are in no particular order and I’m not using the actual plot summaries the authors used on ao3, just making stuff up or using quotes from the fic

one-shots

Landing on both broken hearted knees by rayguntomyhead (1.6k words, rated M)

Post Deadpool 2. Wade and Nate share a hotel room. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not that kind of fic. Nothing is going on with them yet.

Tropes by quakey (2.2k words, rated T)

Wade’s been reading TVtropes, and if Nate is fucking with him right now, Wade is gonna gut him like a fish and throw his bloody corpse in the sea for the sharks.

These days are great and so are you by bankrobbery (3k words, rated T)

Movie based. Wade gets kinkshamed by Weasel and hawaiian-shirt-shamed by Cable. They’re at the bar, basically

Motormouth by pavonine (13k words, rated T)

Wade can’t shut the fuck up, and this time it’s not even his fault! Wade’s been cursed to never be able to stop talking, which is really fucking inconvenient if you’ve got stuff you’re trying to not say.

also the norwegian prime minister is in it very briefly, and it was posted in 2013, when jens stoltenberg was the PM so I’m just gonna assume it’s him and bring your attention to this picture of him which I think is hilarious

Pressure points by denims (2k words, rated M)

Cable keeps casually touching him, which probably doesn’t mean anything (don’t listen to domino, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about), but it makes Wade feel weird. So, so weird.

Multi-chapter

Wade will f*** shit up for you by Quakey @withoutaconscienceorafilter (48k words, rated E, so minors stay away from this one, it’s the only thing on the list with actually NSFW scenes.)

The craigslist ad said “My name’s Wade and I fuck shit up professionally. So your ex getting married? I’ll crash that shit. Your job fire before their company picnick? I’ll show up with tequila and throw hands. Got some one one you hate an just wanna fuck their day up? I’m all over that shit. Serving all situations where we customize your service to your liking email me for pricing. Services guaranteed with video.” Maybe this is a horrible idea, and maybe he shouldn’t have, but Nate did answer it, so things are definitely about to get weird

I’m biased on this one because it was based on a post I made but it seriously is really good it’s super funny (almost choked to death trying not to laugh on the bus at one point) and in character and some of the scenes are so so so cute. Not sold yet? Hope is in it. AND Ellie. Hell yeah! This one is movie based, and I really like that it’s a regular non powered AU, but Nate’s arm+eye and Wade’s scars are still included. Like Nate has a prosthetic arm and Wade actually looks like Wade.

Fistful of shovels by surefall (28.6k words, rated T)

Now, you might be thinking, ms. Mutantapologist, this is tagged spideypool?? It is, but just trust me okay

Wade’s best friend, bromanciest of bros to ever bro, Nathan Summers is back in his life, and he’s really starting to get under Peter’s skin. They’re just too close, and Nathan is there all the damn time. List of things Wade’s weird time traveling BFF would look good in: 1. his own damn home. Nate and Peter get passive aggressive and competitive, Nate’s manipulative tendencies make an appearance, Peter is kind of a dick, and Wade’s honestly just happy to have his BFF back.

this is one of my favorite portrayals of their relationship dynamic tbh. just...their unbreakable bond...the way they keep coming back to each other through time and dimensions...that shit makes me cryyyy. and how well they know each other..the trust...the casual intimacy....how comfortable they’re with each other...also the dialogue in this is perfect, love their banter. This one is “screenshotting quotes and sending them to your friends” level funny. they also play mario kart and I think that’s nice.

Read Omake: Fistful of shovels for the Deleted Scenes Edition that has stuff that didn’t make it into the final fic or alternate versions of scenes. includes: Nate sending a shirtless selfie with ulterior motives, Nate being sort of a home wrecker (but at least he’s more honest about it!), aunt May, Nate being accused of being a bottom, etc.

Strangers by totallynotremus @totallynotremus (31k, rated T)

Nate plays games. Not weird manipulative mind games this time. Actual games. Online. With Wade and his friends. Wade feels targeted because come on, you behave mildly flirtatiously with the guy your friend group is gaming with online a lot acouple of times and suddenly your so called “friends” won’t stop harassing you about it. unbelievable. this one is also super funny

Motion Practice Universe: Cablepool Edition

I couldn’t put these in either category because they need to be in order and there’s one-shots AND a multi chapter fic so i’d have to separate them and that wouldn’t work. These are part of the (as of august 2020) 1,405,078 words long Motion Practice Universe, but you don’t need to read the rest of it to know what’s going on, I didn’t and it works 100% fine as a stand-alone storyline

Wade Wilson explains it all (or at least, how Clint’s keeping his job. Mostly keeping his job. It’s complicated.) by the_wordbutler (3.3k words, rated T)

Wade is trying to put together a fruit basket for Clint, because he’s a thoughtful friend (who does not get enough credit, hello?), unlike some other people. Example: his coworkers, who won’t let him focus on his super special important project (fruit basket!). And Nate, who’s eating an orange (from the fruit basket!😡) which has no business being that distracting.

it’s sort of an introduction to the next thing in the list, and I highly recommend reading it first. Definitely does a great job at showing what you’re gonna get from the full fic. Also, it’s cute and funny.

Admissions, Interrogatories, and other discoveries by the_wordbutler (150k words, rated M)

No, that wasn’t a typo, it really is 150k words. And I read it. Twice.

Basically, Wade is a criminal defense attorney, good job, you get to defend goat fuckers and other weirdos. Fun times. Nate’s a coworker, works in immigration and civil rights law, they do projects together. Just a bro he jokes around with, who sometimes brings Wade lunch, and whose arms Wade really likes to stare at, but that doesn’t mean anything, right?

this one is REAL slowburn (never in my LIFE have i experienced slow burn like this one holy FUCK), great relationship development and I just love their dynamic and banter in this one. Perfect dialogue and it’s really fucking funny, made me laugh out loud at several points! AND!! Hope is in it<3

What I learned on my summer vacation, an essay by Hope Summers by the_wordbutler (4.5k words, rated T)

Sequel to Admissions, interrogatories and other m discoveries. Wade, Nate, and ten year old Hope go to Disney World, and the beach. A lot of love and family<3 Wade took 3 sign language classes to talk to Hope (who’s deaf)

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of great ones but here’s what I could think of rn!!

#txt #cablepool #anonymous

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Master Fic Rec List (50+ Fics)

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 190+ bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi and Iwaizumi coming back into the manga (and for his (almost) birthday), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite fanfictions in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic on those works! I decided to split the works up by my own self-imposed genres, such as angst, coming-of-age (or the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope that we all love which depicts how their relationship changes as they grow up and will mostly be canon-compliant), and alternate universe. With the revival of Iwaizumi in the manga, alternate universes will be broken down into adulting AU where he and Oikawa’s diverge differs from in canon and actual, legit AU where there’s basically no volleyball.

I’ll include the title, link, word count, fic summary, and my own commentary (mostly for my own personal entertainment). While the AO3 fandom has been going strong since 2014, I personally have only been reading IwaOi fics for about 3 months, so I will most likely be recommending some cult-favorites, especially since I’ve been reading my fics by sorting through the tag with the most kudos.

My absolute favorites (or the ones where I personally push onto my IRL haikyuu friends) will be denoted with ♡ in increments of 1-3 with 3 ♡ being an absolute must-read. Fics marked with a * indicate that Iwaizumi or Oikawa or both are professional athletes because that’s honestly my Favorite Trope. This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! This took me about 9 days to compile (aka this was in my drafts for about 9 days) but I do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos!

Adulting AU 

*♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Thoughts: THIS IS IT. THIS FIC IS GOD TIER. They’ve been separated but now are falling back into old habits and there’s a confession on the line? Akaashi is in here and he’s pretty funny. I reread this all the time.

*♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Thoughts: Absolutely the best IwaOi fic I’ve ever read. I’ve reread this about 4x and I always pay attention to a new sentence or detail that leaves me breathless. The characterization is pretty spot on, and I have to admit that this fic made me appreciate IwaOi a little more. I’ve cried countless times too. A cult-favorite but it doesn’t have nearly as many hits as it deserves.

♡days fall away

Word count: 17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Thoughts: They’ve separated for a bit but now they’re back in the same city and learning to be around each other again. Cue teasing from the biological and Seijoh family

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Thoughts: They’re living together post-college feat. snapshots from their lives before getting together and their Seijoh team! It’s really soft but it manages a humorous tone as well.

Time

Word count: 5k

Summary: When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Thoughts: A piecewise fic told from Oikawa’s point of view. The tone is almost chatty but it really fits the pacing of the work as you get snippets and sentences of their relationship throughout the years

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Japan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Thoughts: They go on vacation right before Iwaizumi leaves Oikawa for a year. Oikawa ponders their relationship.

where fireflies never die

Word count: 4k

Summary: >>Oikawa: Hey Iwa-chan >>Oikawa: Did I ruin it?

Thoughts: Oikawa is a mangaka and basically writes his best selling series based off of him and Iwaizumi. This was pretty angsty ngl with a lot of introspection and second-guessing.

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Thoughts: Mangaka Oikawa but this is basically a rom-com lmao

Alternate Universe

Even Heroes (have the right to dream) 

Word count: 20k 

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. 

Thoughts: Superhero-hiding-his-identity-Iwaizumi and begrudging Oikawa? Sign me up. This fic spent a little more time on worldbuilding than eventual romance, but it is still absolutely unique and entertaining

The secret omega

Word count: 17k

Summary: Iwaizumi’s annoying as fuck best friend. Who absolutely, definitely, no matter what, cannot find out that Iwaizumi is an omega.

Thoughts: A/B/O dynamics where Iwa is the omega and Oikawa is the alpha. 90% plot building which is pretty nice.

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Thoughts: Malicious and flirtatious Oikawa meet immovable object Iwaizumi. They’re businessmen trying to navigate friends-with-benefits and love all at the same time. A+ sex scenes tbh. 

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying.“It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.”

Thoughts: Edge of Tomorrow AU!!!!! Please watch Edge of Tomorrow first because it’s truly a brilliant movie that I wholly enjoyed and this fic reflects that. This also made me really sad so Beware

*♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right?

Thoughts: ABO dynamics (and somewhat canon-compliant) as they’re roommates, on the national team, and try to navigate being “fake” mated while harboring feelings

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.”

Thoughts: Royal bastard son Oikawa and his servant Iwaizumi. An enthralling read and universe. The romance takes a secondary seat here as it focuses more on plot and world-building. 

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul.

Thoughts: Pacific Rim! AU. Otherwise known as my favorite types of AUs because they’re basically soulmates (platonic or not,, but they’re not platonic here)

♡(sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow.

Thoughts: Warring states/historical fantasy AU. The world building is amazing and this author has great control over her language use

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: 

Thoughts: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends Iwaoi!!! A dreamy summer piece and reading it almost makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie because of the mood it puts me in

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.)

Thoughts: Iwaizumi is an escort and Oikawa needs a fancy date

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed

Thoughts: Oikawa’s in outerspace. They’re separated. This left me feeling pretty empty ngl.

♡here comes your man 

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Thoughts: Doctor AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s relationship is pondered by Suga

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru.

Thoughts: Harry Potter AU where they’re in the same year and aren’t really friends but are also friends

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself.

Thoughts: Oh fuck this was Good. Yakuza boss Oikawa???? Disgraced Iwaizumi??? Do they fall in love (again)?

and suddenly, we were traitors

Word count: 17k

Summary: "sorry, it's just... you’ve been amazingly kind to me these past few days. ...but i'm still not sure who you are.”

Thoughts: The amnesia fic this fandom needed

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Thoughts: Hot

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there.

Thoughts: Model Oikawa and salaryman Iwaizumi meet and try to make it work

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally.“You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.”

Thoughts: Detectives but they’re actually funny

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime.

Thoughts: Orange is the New Black AU!!! Im a sl*t for tatted Iwaizumi

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.”

Thoughts: Reincarnation AU throughout the timelines. A good soft read that leaves you sort of empty

Angst

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhh tears

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Thoughts: Death fic 

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Thoughts: It takes only 1.6k words to make me cry

Canon Compliant/Coming-Of-Age

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Thoughts: A beautifully introspective piece told from Iwaizumi’s point of view. It’s wholly intimate and it toes along the lines of pining and soft angst. It’s told in snippets from their lives growing up together. 

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Thoughts: There’s a lot of character analysis and it takes a step away from the casual banter they’re always portrayed to have and focuses on the intricacies of their relationship. The tone is almost a little more melancholy. (also they have to share a bed! trope)

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?”OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

Thoughts: Oh This Is It IwaOi stans. This fic really solidified my own headcanon for Oikawa (spoiler alert, OP isn’t too fond of Oikawa but she fleshes out his character and his idiosyncrasies so well that you can’t help but be drawn into all of his imperfection) and this fic respects Iwaizumi as well. It has absolutely great characterization and the fic ends on an ambiguous note. 

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Thoughts: College roommates trying to navigate having feelings for each other while also dating others and not realizing that they’re jealous? A cult favorite.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Thoughts: Ahh a slow burn featuring daily moments between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa starts to notice the little things. This was a cute read because Oikawa just comes off as wonderfully earnest. My first Iwaoi fic! And a great one because it really set the standard to how I interpreted their relationship.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Thoughts: Soft pining, fluff, banter, and whispered confessions. This fic really nailed the banter of high school students really well.

♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Thoughts: Oikawa falls first and but Iwaizumi realizes his feelings later on! So soft, so slow burn, so much pining. We get to see their relationship through Iwaizumi’s eyes and actually read him analyze his own feelings.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Thoughts: Character analysis, homophobia, and coming of age makes a good and angsty iwaoi fic

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Thoughts: Oikawa has a terrarium and names all of the rocks he puts in (that Iwaizumi gave him) “Iwa-chan #_”

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Thoughts: This was pretty sad tbh. Of what it means to grow up together and then suddenly having to adjust to living without each other’s presence.

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Thoughts: Of growing up together, making decisions for each other, and wanting to be together

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation.That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

Thoughts: Established relationship

Smut

strange.

Word count: 1k

Summary: "god, i fucking hate you."oikawa smiles, cause he knows it's not true. he knows iwaizumi loves him, knows iwaizumi adores him. but he plays along."i hate you too,"

Thoughts: It’s hot

Say My Name 

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey, have you ever tried saying my first name?” Iwaizumi blurts, and the thought jumps out of his subconscious only after he's posed the question.

Thoughts:

No Touching Allowed

Word count: 10k

Summary: “You’ve got one rule,” Iwaizumi winks at him.

Thoughts: ExoticDancer!Iwaizumi and stressed out/repressed businessman Oikawa also an AU.

Honorable Mentions

things wikipedia doesn’t tell you

pillow

Phone Home

Share my life, it’s yours to keep

in progress to you

no sleep in the city

The PDA jar

Kissmarked

#iwaoi #oikawa tooru #oikawa #iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #hq!! #hq fic rec #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfiction #id ask that u guys pls reblog if u can so more people can enjoy :') rly there are some Underrated works #and im surprised bc it looks like iwaoi is the most popular pairing in hq rn with the most fics #and there are iwaoi fics being uploaded like everyday #some of my favs were published in 2020 too

[godtier-fics]

sammya kei’s 2016 fanfiction review

it’s time for something no one asked for but yet since when do i care about people other than me

it’s time for a new tradition! i’m going to take a trip down memory lane and talk about my top 10 fanfics from last year and go into depth about my top five! 

top ten (in no particular order): 

Stumbling Boy, The History of the World in Your Arms, the heart of an artist, Working Man, Dissolution, The Catch Up Game, Finding You Wherever You Are, taking the last train home, To the Moon and Back, onward

i picked these ten as my faves cuz when i look back at myself in 2016 these are what i’m most proud of. they each show off what i think is my ever evolving writing skills. 

now let’s look in depth at my top five! look at those below the cut! 

5) onward

lemme state for the record that i...i love aqua with all my heart and soul. i fell in love with her character in 2010 and i haven’t stopped loving and wishing her the best since. when kingdom hearts 0.2 was announced i almost cried. when the video for the opening came out i literally cried. however...onward is not a happy fic. i’m not someone who can sit down and write mushy gushy stuff. 

take this passage for example

Her name is Aqua. She repeats that to herself daily. Not that there is a daily, so maybe she repeats it more often than she realizes.

“My name is Aqua. I saved Terra. I have to go home. I have to wake up Ven.”

These words become her mantra. They get her through it, even has hoarse as it leaves her voice.

onward was just written cuz i was realizing that the first ever kh fic i had ever written was facade which was literally about the main villain of the series having sex and turning evil. anyway, aqua deserves more and maybe in 2017 i’ll find time to write her a nice long fic. we’ll see. 

i’m just nervous about writing her cuz i love her so much....

4) Stumbling Boy

this is part of the dysfunctional family funtimes series and is one of my faves that i wrote in 2016! it’s the mid-brother fic to nadia’s fic from 2015 aka Separation Anxiety that she needs to finish...which i hope she finishes...but we’ll see lol. it’s all about ginshi dealing with his brother’s disappearance and i just am crying because why is ginshi canonly dead and i cannot deal...MOVING ON 

my fave passage from this would be...

People thought that Ginshi tumbled through life, stumbling upon things, but he didn’t, not really. He did do some things deliberately and with care. When he was working on a car, he was able to lose himself. He threw himself into studying, and watched his understanding grow. He’d always liked fussing around with cars, but having a job that he was getting paid to do it at was different. He was different.

And to show that, to really show that he was different, that he was changed, he decided he needed to find something to change about himself physically.

So that when Urie did return, he could point at it and say, “Look, I made my own choice too!”

Stumbling Boy was something that i think i wrote in 2015 and then posted in 2016 but even still...it was nice to rework it and post it. i can’t wait to finish the dff series...

3) taking the last train home 

originally posted under one of my many, many pen names....this was supposed to be a hardcore BDSM fanfic. it...it’s not going to be that. i’m sorry. i’m a disappointment. i am too sex repulsed to do that to myself. so i moved it over to this account. 

anyway...this isn’t just a fic about sex which is why i got really, really annoyed with some comments i was getting. like...the first sexual scene doesn’t even happen till chapter 8 aka over 11K words later....so okay fandom...whatever. anyway that fic is locked to anyone who doesn’t have an ao3 account but enjoy this snippet! 

“If you need me to stop just tell me so, all right?”

“Because I’m going to get so overwhelmed by a kiss on my cheek.”

Yao pushes up on his chin and grins down at him, “You’ll get overwhelmed all right.” Those are bold words, Alfred thinks, but doesn’t get a chance to say so before Yao kisses him.

taking the last train home still has a quite a few more chapters to be posted and i hope everyone enjoys the ride. it’s probably going to end up being the longest amechu fanfic on ao3 that’s completely about amechu with them as the endgame? so...yay for that. #actuallymarried indeed

2) The History of the World in Your Arms

this used to hold the title of my longest amechu fic posted...but then taking the last train home came along and stole that title...ahah. anyway. i wrote this in order to figure out WHY i shipped amechu and maybe talk others into shipping it too? 

rereading it makes me wanna die...and i wanna rewrite it but i’ll resist for now. 

anyway here’s TWO snippets from the fic that i love! 

here’s from yao’s pov 

Yao looks at him, lying in Yao’s bed as if he belongs there, as if he’s always belonged right there against the pillows, and says simply, “Then that’s a fair exchange.”

“What is?”

“My ruin for your ruin.”

“Are you saying I’ve ruined you?” Alfred demands, looking confused. Which is a look that suits him.

“Yes,” Yao says, “you’ve ruined me.”

and the second one from alfred’s pov 

“It would be so much easier if I just hated you and wanted you gone. But I don’t.”

“You don’t?” Alfred tries not to sound so surprised by that, and fails. Yao looks hurt, and sighs.

“I don’t hate you,” he says quietly, “I told you years ago that I loved you, didn’t I?”

i can’t help but see a canonverse relationship as them being very, very rocky and uneasy but then they settle into something that goes beyond them and we eventually get to a point where they get married....and yeah i’m not over that picture. i could cry....

1) Finding You Wherever You Are 

speaking of art--and specifically of art that izzy has done--i’m still not over the leash in this picture after i told her i was JOKING. this fic holds a special place in my heart due to several inside jokes i have with izzy being in it. for those who are still reading at this point i’ll let you in on two of them! 

1) yao telling alfred “i know” when they’re doing something sexual or about to 

2) please mock izzy for dogfred this isn’t an inside joke this is just something i need others to make fun of her for at this point smh 

um yeah moving on 

this entire fic is basically aesthetic actually? bad boy rolls into town and finds his true love? CHECK! reincarnation? CHECK! royalty? CHECK! blood drinking? vampires? monsters? oh my??? CHECK!!! 

fave comment i got on this fic was someone stunned at the world building i did in 13K+ i’m honestly surprised too? i wrote this fic in like...a day. and by a day i mean 10-11 hours. with a sprained arm. go me? 

anyway fave snippets in no particular order!!!! 

1) 

“May I?” Yao asked, and he sounded so polite as if he were asking for something normal and not permission to lick blood off of Alfred’s hand.

“Um,” Alfred looked down at his boss, and then at the stove which was on the opposite side of the kitchen (how had he moved that fast, the fuck ) and shrugged, “Yeah, sure.”

Yao’s touch was tender as he pressed his lips to the back of Alfred’s hand and licked at the blood that was coating it. Alfred had never realized how sensitive his hands were until he got unlucky enough to have Yao devote his full attention to licking and sucking against the skin. Yao sucked one, and then two of his fingers into his mouth and gave them a wet suck, and Alfred realized that he was standing in his boss’s kitchen, with his fingers in his boss’s mouth, and he was hard. His breath was coming out loud and heavy to his own ears as Yao continued, seemingly oblivious to the effect that he was having on Alfred. But then Yao looked up at him, with three of Alfred’s fingers in his mouth and smirked.

He smirked, slid Alfred’s fingers out of his mouth, and then licked finally at the bleeding wounds. As Alfred watched him, and as Yao watched his hand the wounds sluggishly stopped bleeding.

“You should still wrap that up,” Yao said as he dropped a kiss to Alfred’s knuckles. “Learn how to control your temper, Alfred.”

2) 

“Where to next, your majesty?”

“Says the noble.” Wang got on the bike behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist once more. “Do you know the way back home?”

“I’m like a lord yeah but I’m pretty sure you were a king in your past life.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong ,” Wang said.

Alfred grinned, “How old are you anyway?”

“Far, far too old for this. Take me home, pup.”

3) 

“You are a wonder, Alfred,” Yao said. He sounded sad and fond as he said that. Alfred’s heart ached .

“So are you, thousands of years old and you still wanna change the world.”

“The world can be changed, Alfred, never doubt that.”

Alfred laughed, and then in disbelief at himself said, “I have full faith in your abilities.”

4) 

Alfred helped him put the bracelet on, and then kissed him. He growled low in his throat.

“Yeah,” Yao said. “I know. Look at you, all nice and collared and mine .” He looped his fingers in the golden buckle and made Alfred follow him back to the sofa.

“Look at you,” Alfred said, torn between the leather of the bracelet around Yao’s wrist and Yao’s face for which he wanted to look at more.

okay....

as you can see even tho i make fun of izzy constantly for dogfred i do really like this fic? it’s a bit rushed in places??? but tbh it gets the job done and gets it done nicely! good job me. 

so that’s my trip down memory lane! yeah. i just love writing and i like writing fanfics? but i will be moving on to original writing on my site starting this month and you can support me on patreon. i’ll keep writing fanfics but those will be low on my ranking of priorities. 

here’s to an amazing 2017! 

also if we breakdown my fics for 2016....55% of what i wrote was amechu. i’m in too deep. i blame izzy. 

later! 

sk

#kei musings #text #maya musings on writing #fanfiction year in review