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#this year was meant to be a break but i'm constantly worrying about the time i become 18. my autism and lack of any social life-
cinnamon-phrog · 2 months
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I feel too sick to sleep right now, everything's' too cold or too hot and I can't even breathe without thinking I'm gonna throw up
#it's because i've been drinking diluted juice#i swear the shit they put in that makes me delirious with fever#ughhhh so sick wish a nice big strong mechanoid could help me rn :( real shame#gonna drink water till the middle of the night. there goes my plans for a better nights' sleep :<#i do genuinely feel awful and i have been feeling so for a while and it's all my own doing. not eating healthy. stressing out and barely-#-sleeping. i have stretch marks from losing weight and circles under my eyes. everything's fuzzy. i keep forgetting basic things.#i'm worried about my future. i'm too disabled to function with a job but not disabled 'enough' just because i can speak 'clearly'#i've got no irl friends or family to fall back on. i can only travel so far and i get meltdowns far easier now#months ago i was treated like a pet. now i'm an adult before i ever got to be a child.#i want to be held. be loved without even having to say a word to each other. not even by an f//o but by someone who'll be willing to love m#but all i am now is sick and hungry and hot and cold and tired and awake.#i can't imagine how much worse it is for other people though. i've seen awful images and they're not even a taste of how terrible it is#i worry i won't be able to afford food in the future. or have a stable flat or apartment. that social services will let me down again#this year was meant to be a break but i'm constantly worrying about the time i become 18. my autism and lack of any social life-#will impact me and i'll be fucked over easier than ever. and that happens often#college brought me panic attacks where i'd physically harm myself till i got migraines in front of people and they didn't bat an eye#i could be kicking and screaming and begging for help but they'll just ignore me or infantilise me
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lost-and-ephemeral · 2 months
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hii can i request angst for love and deepspace, reader and mc are different ppl. our boys made plans with reader but forgot and left them hanging to hangout with the mc instead 😞
Series: In Her Shadow, pt.1 (ft. main trio)
Part 1 | Part 2
It feels like you've never been enough for him.
Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)
Tags: angst, hurt no comfort, reader is not MC, reader and guys are dating
A/N: Thanks for your request, sweetheart! Hope it doesn't look too OOC.
Part 1 | Part 2
-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´- 
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Xavier
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Your relationship with Xavier could be called ideal, if not for one nuance.
His colleague, who takes up much of his attention.
There were times when he'd come home and talk about her with such excitement that you'd start to feel like a third wheel. But usually afterwards Xavier would apologize and say that no matter how strong his colleague was, you would still be the best for him.
And you'd like to believe that. Until he forgot about dinner with you because of her.
You've planned a perfect evening and cooked everything he loved so much, knowing how tired he might come back after a mission. Only for him to never show up this evening.
You've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Feeling how your heart was breaking even more with each passing minute. Maybe something bad had happened? Maybe he was hurt?
You texted him, only to get back, "Don't worry, I'm fine, my colleague just invited me to the cafe after our mission."
No apologies, no regrets. It seems that he just forgot about you and your plans together.
For a while you were silently sitting in your living room, staring at the phone screen. It was hard to describe all these feelings that were bubbling up inside you. Jealousy, anger. You didn't even bother to remind him about your dinner together and just put all the dishes away in the fridge.
Since when did she become more important than you?
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Zayne
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You always knew about Zayne's childhood friend. But you couldn't even imagine that she would make you feel so unwanted.
You had plans for today while your lover had the day off. As a cardiac surgeon, Zayne was busy most of the time and would come home late, completely exhausted. Of course, you wanted to spend every free day with him.
Except for one thing.
His childhood friend constantly overshadowed you. Well, you could understand why that was happening. After all, their friendship (or was it more than that already?) had been going on for years, and you couldn't stop Zayne from seeing her.
But…
Sitting alone in the restaurant, at the table you'd booked together, you barely held back tears as you stared at the message marked 'unread'.
When Zayne didn't appear in time, you were surprised. He was always so punctual, what was wrong this time?
But when you asked him where he was, he replied, "Sorry, she asked me to visit an old candy store with her, I'll be back in a few hours," and you realized he'd completely forgotten about you.
And your last message went unread.
"Zayne, but we made a reservation for today."
You sat alone for so long that people started to squint in your direction. The only option was to get up and leave the restaurant before your heart was completely shattered.
And so you did.
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Rafayel
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Usually Rafayel's studio was always open for you, so you could come to see him anytime.
But as it turned out, you weren't the only one he welcomed with open arms, day or night.
Today was your day off and you were planning to visit Rafayel so you could help him with something in his studio. He asked you to come in the first place. Usually that meant he just wanted to see you and was looking for any excuse, even the silliest one.
But instead you were met with a locked gate.
At first you thought it was just another joke, that Rafayel would come out and let you in, yet some time passed, and you continued to stand there alone. You tried to call him, but it was unsuccessful. No matter how long you waited, no one answered.
Finally you decided to call Thomas to ask him if something important had happened. Maybe Rafayel once again forgot about his own exhibition and had left in a hurry.
But it turned out you were the only one who had been forgotten.
"He said he was going to buy new paints with his bodyguard," Thomas explained. "Or something like that. Better not wait for him until evening, he's unlikely to be back before that time."
Devastated, you stood there for a while longer, thinking about his 'Ms. Bodyguard' who was spending more and more time with your beloved. It wasn't the first she took him away from you.
But this was the last straw.
You turned around, heading back home and desperately holding back tears.
It wasn't fair.
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zivazivc · 2 months
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Sorry if this has already been asked before but why did the band break up? And did they break up on decent terms? Do they still talk to each other sometime?
It has been asked before, I just never answered jshfbdjcbh I'm still piecing everything together and stuff is changing or getting tweaked all the time, so I'm always super hesitant about answering these types of questions, afraid that people will take whatever I say as the final answer. So basically what I'm going to answer now will already contradict what I told some people already. And maybe in the future the story might go a little differently too (although I'm pretty satisfied with the current events)
Uhhh, get ready for a long info dump. I didn't expect I'd write this much...
Floyd basically stayed with the band for 8 years (from 14 till 22) and got pretty messed up in the process. The rest of the guys are all quite older than him so I guess I could say they were more responsible, or at least had a better understanding of their own limits (also they grew up in this kind of environment or grew up aware of it, while Floyd was oblivious and naive about all of it) and while they do get drunk and do drugs often, none of them are really dependent on them. They are also pretty good judges of character and know how to avoid trouble. Floyd on the other hand drove in with no breaks and constantly got himself in trouble that the rest (mostly Les) had to drag him out of. He also developed bipolar during this time (in my story Floyd constantly fluctuates between being saturated and being desaturated because of this) and his manic and depressive episodes started getting out of hand after his teenage years. (None of them are aware it's a mental disorder that's making him act so out of character.)
Floyd was becoming miserable because of this and all of his problems pilling up, and started blaming Les for the way he was. Les never argued this which only fueled Floyd to blame him more. In the end he was getting so frustrated and irritable that Floyd constantly tried starting arguments with him, even putting him down and getting aggressive at times because Les gets very unresponsive and closed off during personal conversations (guy is a giant onion of suppressed trauma that Floyd is hellbent on peeling open).
Eventually there was one fight too many, terrible things were said, some objects flew through the air, and Floyd walked out (or Hed kicked him out, I haven't decided yet) with the promise of going home and never seeing them again.
So, yeah, it was very messy and Floyd was the primary asshole, even though he's not really to blame either...
But Floyd didn't make it home (was too scared to sneak through Bergen Town to get to the tree (i don't think i can judge him for that either)) and he just returned to the reckless lifestyle, this time without anyone being there to keep him safe. So if he was messed up before, this is the time period where he got absolutely fucked up. This is also when he got heavily addicted to sour worms. And when he chronically slept around (half the time just to get offered free worms or have somewhere to sleep, other times because he was having manic episodes and was feeling hypersexual). (This is also potentially the period when he had the two eggs with that techno troll, but I'm still thinking if I want that to be canon to the story or not.) During this time he also grew to become very anxious and his self-confidence went to shit when he was being himself.
Then after about three years of that, he bumped into Les at some party. He wanted to dodge him out of shame but Les grabbed his arm and manhandled him outside to talk. Floyd felt like shit about the way they had split up and tried apologizing for all the stuff he had said and done to Les, but Les wasn't having any of that because he wasn't angry at Floyd, he was just worried about him. Les is also insanely empathetic like Floyd, and he knew that Floyd never really meant any of it, and that he was just looking for an outlet when he was hurting. Also he does think he is to blame for the way Floyd ended up.
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Les wanted to know why he didn't go home like he had said (because that was the only reason Les had even let him walk out in the first place). A few exchanged words later and Floyd broke down telling him all the awful things he'd done, and Les promised to help him, feeling insanely guilty. Floyd wondered if he was allowed back in the band but Les made it clear that the band wasn't good for him and that he was never taking him back. Instead Les helped him go though rehab. I don't think trolls have those institutions (or at least not many are aware of them or how they work (I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the Trolls world has internet and cellphones, Mountrageons can keep that for themselves lol)), so it was more or less just Les finding Floyd a job and his own place to stay in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where he had no option but to detox, and constantly checking up on him to make sure he was doing okay. During this time they grew pretty close again. Or maybe the better term would be that Les slowly started putting his walls down again.
Hed needed a while to warm up to Floyd again. He's almost as protective of Les as Les is of him, and he resented Floyd for the way he had treated him.
Flea is pretty phlegmatic when it comes to any sort of arguing or drama. He was casual about seeing Floyd again, they were never super close anyway.
And Liv, she left the band when she and Hed broke up (haven't decided if that happened before or after Floyd left), so Floyd didn't get to see her again after bumping into Les at the party. And I haven't thought yet if they'd ever meet again somewhere later in life. But if they did, I think they'd both be happy to see each other.
Anyway...
Floyd managed to detox and successfully kept the job for about a year, but then he became manic again and messed it all up. After that he returned to his nomadic lifestyle, but he never fell as hard as those three years again. In my story Floyd's life is a constant cycle of getting his life together and fucking it up and booking to the next place. And he and Les are trapped in a never-ending cat and mouse game where they're both trying to fix each other.
So, uh, Les and Floyd are still very close and see each other somewhat often...
(sometimes monthly, sometimes yearly)
Yeah...
I am so fucking obsessed with them I'm gonna hurl. Please take this song before I combust:
youtube
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maliland · 5 months
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PLAY FAIR!
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now playing: xo by beyoncé
barbie(s): e-1610 miles & black fem reader
includes: fluff & fake ass friends
synopsis: your day starts off a bit rocky when you're confronted with conflict concerning your friendships. your boyfriend cheers you up by taking you to the fair!
wc: 8358 (not including the bonus)
credz: @/firefly-graphics
a/n: first fluff fic yayay!! i lied abt when i was dropping this sooo many times, mb.. there's a bonus to make up for it. i hope u guys enjoy this and read VERY slowly bc idk when i'm dropping a fic next 🚶‍♀️ idk what i was doing here lowkey… i h8 everything but the bonus. (i'm biased i like angst better) lmk what y’all think of this tho 💞 ((i proof read but there might be mistakes))
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mothers were always thought to have an intuition when it came to their children—some sort of sixth sense. the science behind it? well, there is none. none that’s been proven, anyway. that doesn’t stop some mothers from swearing that their second sight was legit. your mom was one of them, constantly giving her unwarranted two cents about people in your life who seemed harmless to you.
you felt blessed to have the mother you did. she was your best friend and your biggest cheerleader. she brought you up to be the girl you are today. without her, you didn't know who you'd be. not having a huge group of friends to be around 24/7 didn't really bother you as much as it would have if you didn't have her.
you’ve never felt like you needed to hide anything from your mom, but you did keep your crush on miles a secret for a hot minute. you'd never liked someone the way you liked him. you were shocked to discover that he like you too. when miles was ready to make things official, you knew you couldn't hide him from your mom anymore, so you didn't. she met him one saturday morning over breakfast, and to your surprise, she liked him. you were shocked she didn’t have anything condemnatory to say about your boyfriend, not because there was anything wrong with miles, but because your mom is overprotective of you.
growing up, you hadn’t always been the most sociable kid. all of the friends you had now found you and so did miles. that being said, your mom worried that people would take advantage of your built-in hospitality and youf kind heart. she watched out for certain things when you'd describe your interactions with people, then told you to watch out as well. although her overprotectiveness could be irritating more often than not, your mom had definitely helped you avoid trouble here and there.
growing up meant change. you weren't the biggest fan of change because of the risk that came with it. you had always preferred to stick to what you know—until this year. your fourth and final year of high school had you wanting to break out of your shell. the same few friends wouldn’t be there to keep you company when you graduate and go to different colleges, or hold your hand for the rest of your life. neither would your beloved mother. you had to hold your own hand.
you weren't sure how you were going to make friends, and you were too ashamed to ask anyone how to do so. thankfully, you didn't have to do much, because the friends you made came to you.
it started with a group chat with the five girls you had calculus with this year: tiesha, taraji, yanira, and adana. tiesha had created the chain so you all could send homework answers and test reviews back and forth. math was never your strong suit, so cheating was really the only reason you were passing. brief conversations about homework and how much you all hated the class turned into full blown conversations about boys and tv shows. minor comments about something annoying that someone did in class turned into major gossip sessions. you couldn't remember the last time you went a whole day without talking to those girls, whether it was one text message or twenty.
your mom told you she was excited that you had expanded your circle, but you could tell by the way her smile had slightly faltered that she was indeed irresolute. you knew you’d never understand her intuitive claims unless you had children of your own, and even then, you’d still doubt the phenomenon’s validity. it was just your nature to question everything.
presently, you were at a food court in the mall, sitting by yourself at one of the tables. every now and then, you’d glance up from your phone and see a group of friends or a couple pass by you.
you were supposed to hang out with yanira, taraji, adana, and tiesha, but it was almost one and none of them had showed up to the spot in the mall where you agreed to meet. every call you made went straight to voicemail. frustrated, you opened instagram to see if any of the girls were active. you raised a brow when you noticed the multicolored spiral around yanira’s profile picture at the top of your dash where stories were located. you tapped it just to be confronted with a boomerang of yanira, tiesha, adana, and taraji posing in a dressing room mirror. your eyes bored into the screen for a few seconds before you swiped out of instagram, treachery bubbling in your stomach. you released an exasperated sigh.
your mom was right. once again.
you glanced at a nearby tv on one of the walls in the food court and saw a picture of spider-man. you read the captions as they glided across the bottom of the screen, the clip of the hero fighting off a villain playing simultaneously. the news reporter narrated the highlights of the brawl and another one followed up his narration by concluding that spider-man had once again saved the city.
you smiled to yourself like a proud mother, then you thought about miles, not spider-man. you hadn’t talked to your boyfriend since the night before. as if he could read your mind, your phone buzzed against the table and lit up.
3 text messages @ 12:42pm
miles: hey, pretty girl (12:42pm)  miles: i couldn’t text you this morning, i’m sorry (12:42pm)  miles: villain of the week decided to get up early today (12:42pm)
so did you, but for different reasons. reasons that no longer mattered. you didn't even know why you were still sitting in that food court. you should've been en route to the train station by now. you felt so damn stupid.
you: that’s okay (12:43pm)
miles: are you okay? (12:43pm) miles: yk i’d never purposely ignore you, right? (12:43pm)
you: yeah, i know (12:44pm) you: it’s not you (12:44pm)  you: i’m at the mall rn bc i was supposed to meet some friends here, but they never showed. nb wanted to answer the phone either (12:44pm) you: i checked instagram n it turns out they’re all here (12:45pm) you: just without me (12:45pm) you: sooo now i have to do the walk of shame back to the subway station (12:45pm)
miles: that’s so messed up, i’m really sorry (12:46pm)  miles: did anything happen with them before this? (12:46pm)
you: no (12:46pm)  you: i mean if it did then idk anything about it (12:47pm)  you: my ma warned me about those girls. i should’ve listened 🤦‍♀️ (12:47pm)
miles: i got an idea. are you free now? (12:47pm)
you: i am 🤨 (12:48pm)
miles: take the subway to mine (12:48pm)  miles: i have a surprise ❤️ (12:48pm)
you: i gtg grab smth from my place b4 that (12:49pm) you: but i’ll be there :) (12:49pm)
miles loved a message @ 12:50pm
you didn’t even realize the smile that had crept up on your face until it was almost ear to ear and a few seconds away from making your cheeks ache. you quickly stood up from your chair, the legs howling loudly as they scraped against the tile. you winced at the noise and picked the chair up to move it instead of pushing it in. afterwards, you began walking to the exit closest to the subway station. your pace slowed when you saw your “friends” in front of you. they hadn’t noticed you yet. you hoped they wouldn't. they were walking in a horizontal line, laughing and carrying bags on their arms from different stores. you thought it made them look like they belonged in mean girls, or some coming-of-age disney movie with a clique of popular girls who manage to be both unnecessarily cruel and loved by everyone for antsgonists.
when the group of teens finally spotted you, they briefly side-eyed one another before looking back at you, fake smiles gracing their lips almost immediately after.
did they think you were stupid, blind, or both?
“[name]!” adana called out to you when you were only a few feet apart. she dragged out the last part of your name too. you saw it for what it was: an obvious and weak effort to sound genuine. adana picked up her pace so she got to you faster than the other girls. “we thought you weren’t coming, girl!”
you remained tranquil, though you could see everyone else behind adana snickering and exchanging looks. your kept your face relatively blank, not wanting to show the girls before you even the slightest bit of chagrin. they’d get a kick out of it and your outburst would be the topic of their conversations for weeks to come. high school was truly exhausting.
“i mean, i got here at twelve like we agreed,” you shrugged. “i called you guys too. i guess your phones were off.”
“yeah, they were,” taraji chimed in, showing you the 'do not disturb' icon on her phone. you fought the urge to roll your eyes at her fraudulent tone.
you almost couldn’t believe that this was a real situation that you were somehow caught in the middle of. tiesha pouted, the friction between her lips causing her already-faded pink and brown lip combo to fade some more. you knew she was mocking you, but you only wanted to smile when you thought about the shiny gloss that was neatly slathered on your lips, much unlike hers.
“are you okay? have you been here by yourself this whole time?” tiesha interrogated. it felt more like instigating.
“i mean, yeah,” your eyes darted around nervously. lipgloss honestly wasn’t a big deal anyway, tiesha probably had more in her bag. your confidence boost was short-lived and had diminished. you were never the type to thrive off someone's disadvantage. either way, you could act. “but it didn’t really bother me ‘cause i was texting my boyfriend and we—”
“boyfriend?” adana laughed mockingly like it was unbelievable. like it was impossible. “i didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”
“what? i’ve told you guys this,” you frowned, your voice wavering to a degree.
you stared at the four girls with an eyebrow cocked up while they turned to each other and shook their heads, a few whispers floated in the air and into your ears. you had spoken about miles to these girls before, you were positive. he was never a secret, you just weren’t someone who posted online a lot. in fact, you only had instagram because your mom made you sign up. you’d never posted once. either way, it’s your relationship. you didn’t want everyone in your business, that’s where mess was rooted. that's how problems started.
what mess the unforeseen treatment you were receiving was rooted in? that was a mystery to you. you didn’t understand how the girls who were supposed to be your friends could switch up on you at the speed of light. there hadn’t been any fights or arguments between any of you—to your knowledge, at least.
you’ve always preached that there are two sides to every story, but you also preached communication. you all were cool last night while confirming today’s plans, now suddenly they know nothing about you?
nobody questioned you about miles. instead, yanira broke the silence that you’d spent lost in your thoughts, trying to make sense of the uncomfortable situation you were in with purely scraps. “well, good thing we found you now.” she pursed her lips afterwards, clearly stifling a laugh.
words couldn’t describe how stupid and naive you felt. they were trying to play you in your face and thought you were oblivious to it. you were starting to think so too. maybe they’d been playing in your face this entire time. maybe they’ve been acting for the duration of your friendship. maybe there were signs this entire time and you didn’t notice until now. maybe the idea of meeting new people thrilled you too much, and they took advantage of that when they realized it.
you weren’t lashing out over everything going on in the name of “staying calm.” you couldn’t grant anyone the satisfaction of knowing they struck a nerve, and bad. you were just as committed to keeping up with your act as they were to theirs, and nothing was going to make you let up.
“we were just about to grab some food,” tiesha added after yanira, smiling ever so innocently, as if she was oblivious to the treatment you were receiving. tiesha was the one you were the closest with, so that hurt. stung even.
“thanks, but i have other plans,” you faked a smile and made sure to look each one of your “friends” dead in each of their glowering, dull eyes.
adana’s face contorted in slight indignation. “how could you have plans? were you only gonna hang with us for an hour?”
“i was heading out before i ran into you guys,” you smiled and shrugged, checking the time on your phone. “gotta go now or i’ll miss the train. i’ll see you guys at school on monday.”
those insolent girls gave you the stink eye as deviated away. a few steps farther from fakery and you could already hear the whispers and the murmurs, even if the mall was loud. they sounded more like hisses the farther away you got, until they blended into the many, many sounds of your local mall. you were thankful to be free from that conversation—if you could even call it that.
your next chat oughta be a real one. though you hated it, confrontation was just around the corner.
❤︎₊ ⊹
“and then they acted like absolutely nothing was wrong… tiesha too!”
you were seated on one end of the couch in miles’ apartment, your legs crossed and resting on top of his thighs and a pillow between the arm of the couch and your back. miles hadn’t told you what the surprise was yet, and quite frankly, it had slipped your mind entirely. you were never good when it came to keeping your emotions in check. the fury boiling and seething inside you was so immense that you couldn’t give anything but what happened at the mall even half of a thought even if you wanted to. miles was steadily running his hand up and down the bottom half of one of your legs because he knew it’d help you calm you down. it was something he did by default while you were ranting, because when you were upset over something, you could go on for hours.
miles was a teen girl’s diary that could talk back. you had been on a twenty-minute tangent about what transpired at the mall, making sure to include even the most minor details that other people would view as futile. your boyfriend made sure you knew he was listening, nodding and making a few comments when you’d pause to catch your breath. most people would hate hearing someone complain for as long as you usually did, but miles didn't mind it. in fact, he enjoyed it. it wasn’t your anger that he savored, he just loved staring at your pretty face. you had miles in a trance forever and always. your beauty would forever captivate the boy and you were well aware. the difference between now and when you weren’t blowing smoke out of your ears was that miles could admire every feature without you teasing him for it, because you wanted him to pay attention. in any other instance, you loved pointing out how much he stares and making fun of him for it as if you’re not just as head over heels.
“i feel pathetic. i waited there for a goddamn hour. and you wanna know what the worst part about all of this is?” you exhaled, your irises peering directly into miles’.
even when you were upset, you could admire him. you were doing it in that moment. last time it was his eyes, now it was his hair. the sun rays looming from the unfolded blinds painted his afro a soft brown, singling out and defining numerous strands of those gorgeous spirals sprouting from his head. he was so perfect to you. you often had trouble believing you could call him yours.
“tell me,” miles retorted, slightly angling his head to the left.
“i wore a good outfit for nothing,” you whined, tipping your head back concurrently. “i just got this tracksuit! this is honestly ten times worse than wasting a good outfit on a boring day.”
you had on a black, velvet matching set from juicy couture. it was expensive and you were pissed to have had wasted your first wear on the day you found out your friends aren’t shit. miles remembered how excited you were to buy that outfit. you’d talked about saving the money for it for what felt like forever.
“you didn’t waste your outfit,” miles assured you, drawing confusion to your face almost immediately. “i still have a surprise, you know.”
“right,” your eyes lit up and you sat up straighter, disregarding your mood. “i was thinking about it on the subway and i have a few guesses.”
“i don’t think you’ll be able to guess this one, but you can try," he laughed lowly.
“cookies?” you started.
miles shook his head. “no.”
“a cat?”
“no, mami,” he laughed.
“ummm,” you tapped your chin like you were deep in thought. your dark-colored orbs traveled to the ceiling. “movie marathon night?”
“better.”
you snapped your fingers. “christmas movie marathon night."
“no movies,” miles clarified.
“beyoncé?”
“not beyoncé.”
“i can do your makeup?!”
“nope.”
“you got me,” you rolled your eyes and blew raspberries. “i give up. spill.”
“i know you wanted to go to the fair during the summer, but i didn’t take you because i knew you’d complain about the heat,” miles began. “now that it’s november, i figured it’d be the perfect time to go.”
“oh shit, for real?!” your eyes slightly widened as you swung your legs off of miles.
“i don’t see why i wouldn’t be,” he retorted. “we’ll take the train and walk the rest of the way.”
you jumped off of the couch in excitement and shuffled behind the piece of furniture to grab your purse. you glanced over at miles, who was now scrolling on his phone. you crept up on him from behind the couch and inched close to his ear.
“get up!” you demanded playfully, grabbing his shoulders. miles slightly flinched, and you burst into a fit of laughter at his reaction.
“okay, okay!” he stood up, rolling his eyes and smiling. “i was thinking we could wait a little bit before we went.”
“nope, no time to waste,” you insisted. you’d wasted enough of that with your “friends.”
your boyfriend told you about all of the abilities that he acquired when he became spider-man, one of them being his heightened senses. you used to expect them to go off whenever you were approaching him, or whenever you scared him, but they never did. when you inquired about it, miles told you that his senses were most likely there to protect him, therefore they’d only go off when they felt like someone or something posed a threat. he didn’t elaborate any further, but you got what you needed to out of it.
knowing that miles and his radioactive dna felt safe around you made you feel special.
❤︎₊ ⊹
you hadn't been to a fair since you were ten. you had gone with your cousins, your mom, and your aunt. back then, you weren't smart enough to know how to play any of the games correctly. you weren't tall enough to ride anything that looked cool to you, either. you despised always having to settle for the teacups and the carousel.
going back to the fair wasn't really a priority until that past summer. it just happened to be on the long list of things you wanted to do with miles.
the air outside was cool and crisp and the sun probably felt threatened by the clouds obstructing its view of the city with insomnia. you were relieved to not feel the sweltering heat beating down on you, especially since you had worn the sun’s favorite color in velvet. the leaves on the trees were turning orange now. you were entranced by one tree in particular, watching as the plant detached itself from the branch of the tree and danced in the wind on the way to the ground.
at the front gate, you held out your hand so one of the employees could give you a stamp, as did miles. the stamp was an orange leaf, but it didn't really show up on your darker-colored skin no matter how you squinted.
now that you were there, the fair was much more different than you pictured it to be. though you wanted to experience as much as you could, you had three main goals in mind:  1. win an unnecessarily oversized plush 2. take pictures in a photo booth 3. go on the ferris wheel
as long as you were able to say you did all of those things by the end of that night, you’d forget all the misfortune that the first half of the day bestowed upon you and forgive the universe for allowing it.
as you strolled the fair grounds with miles, you tried to catch a glimpse of everything there was to do as you passed. the fair was bustling with people. there were families, groups of friends, trios, duo. there were also couples, like you and miles. you even saw people by themselves every so often. your day could’ve ended like that, you were elated that you didn’t feel alone anymore, but you’d never say it out loud.
“whatcha wanna do first?” miles asked you. he was being just as observant as you, if not more.
you squinted your eyes ahead and a specific game caught your eye. “let’s play basketball, i’ll definitely whoop your ass this time.”
“big talk for someone who can barely even shoot baskets when we're on the court,” miles fired back. “whoever wins gets to choose what we do next.”
“fine by me,” you shrugged.
you two grabbed a single basketball from your lanes when you got over to the game. you saw miles adjust his grip on the ball from the corner of your eye. you reduced your eyes to slits in response and pressed your lips together.
when the bell rang and the timer began to count down, you both shot your balls into the baskets. both of them made it in. you were doing fine for the first couple of seconds, but then your balls began to veer away from your basket. you quickly glanced over at miles’ scoreboard to find that he was eight scores ahead of you. you furrowed your brows and began throwing balls into the goal again, making the first three shots and missing the last two. you were on autopilot from that moment on, throwing balls at your goal without stopping to celebrate nor gripe.
just as you reached down for a basketball to make another shot, the timer went off, indicating the end of the game. you looked up at your scoreboard to find that you’d only gotten twenty-eight shots. you could already feel miles’ eyes boring a hole through your head, patiently waiting on you to look over at his lane and accept defeat.
you gave in to defeat and scanned his final scoreboard: fifty-eight shots.
you finally looked over at the boy and he was smirking slyly. “yeah, so i’m tryna play the game with the water guns and the targets.”
you would’ve much preferred to find a photo booth next, but a deal was a deal, so you brushed off your loss. neither of you had a map, so you weren't sure where any of the games were. you two agreed to wing it, so you and miles roamed around for a while. you made small talk and miles teased you for being so confident that you'd win the last game.
finally, you came across the mini-game he wanted to play. your face lit up when you saw all the stuffed animals hanging from the rack above. you could get behind this.
the worker was on her phone, visibly nodding off until you two approached the game. you caught a glimpse of her rolling her eyes and shoving her phone in the back pocket of her black jeans. though she was clearly fed up by the presence of you and your boyfriend, she thoroughly explained the rules of the game. miles had to strike down moving targets with a water gun. the targets would move left to right, up and down, or both. he had to shoot all of them to win, and he only got five minutes to do so.
the worker hit the red button and miles was on the clock.
the targets were the typical kind: white circles with red circular stripes, and a red bullseye in the middle. you watched keenly as miles gripped the gun and squeezed one of his eyes shut for precision, pulling the trigger and shooting a line of water at two of the targets with ease. to his surprise, they began to move faster. he was still hitting them though.
the employee was paying miles no mind, already turned around and back on her phone, texting away. even though dealing with those targets was like breathing for miles, he decided to take a shortcut. just for fun.
while the worker wasn’t looking, miles handed you the water gun and used his web-shooters to swiftly shoot down the last five targets. your eyes enlarged at him in a panic and before you could really think about it, you sprayed the webbing off of the targets miles shot down with them.
the worker turned back around when she heard the winner’s bell ringing. by that time, the water gun was already back in miles' hand. the worker stared at the both of you in confusion. miles looked proud of himself. you nervously smiled and shrugged.
the worker rolled her eyes before they traveled over to the selection of toys and stuffed animals just above her. “pick a prize, any prize,” she said unenthusiastically.
“which one do you want, mama?” miles asked you.
“umm…” your voice trailed off. your eyes glossed over all the different plushies until one caught your eye. “stitch for sure.”
the worker nodded and unhooked the stuffed animal from the rack. she quickly handed it to miles and gave him a quick half-assed smile before resuming her bored expression. miles passed you the stuffed animal and you smiled brightly. you remembered this feeling, and you felt like a little kid all over again.
“he’s our son now,” you proudly declared.
“he’s too big for that,” miles teased you. “that’s a grown man.”
you gave miles a dirty look and punched him in the shoulder. “i won’t let you body shame our son.”
“my bad!” miles laughed and put his hands up in defense.
"yeah, whatever," you gave miles an eye roll and grimaced. you clocked the worker glaring at you two from the corner of your eye, so you grabbed miles' hand and hurriedly dragged him away from the booth. "we gotta go before she sees the pile of webs on the ground and has cps investigate us. she already hates us, what if she makes us return our son?”
"that's your main concern?" miles' eyes widened. "not the worker finding out i'm a superhero?"
“why would i be worried about that?" you inquired playfully. "i shouldn't have to lose my baby because you wanted to risk your identity."
you both laughed as you wandered along the paths of the fair aimlessly. neither of you knew what you where you were going next, but you were way too immersed in your debate to think about it. amidst your little parley, the sun finally escaped from the clouds' cover, the sky shifting to a warm orange and light shades of pink instead of the gray it had greeted you with.
“by the way, that was very much cheating,” you chuckled, thinking back to the mini-game. “you need to play fair next time. no web-shooters.”
“we had no opponents,” your boyfriend reminded you.
“the employee seemed like one,” you replied, thinking back to the looks she’d give you two. “i didn’t even know you had your shooters on you… anyway, that means stitch is an accident.” you frowned.
miles' nose wrinkled. “man, what?”
“i’m just chattin’,” you snickered.
“per usual,” miles shook his head, slinging his arm around your shoulder and shaking his head.
you two kept walking aimlessly for a little while, but you stopped dead in your tracks when you spotted a photo booth. you briefly made eye contact with miles before briskly snatching up his arm, pulling him as you sped over to the booth.
“the booth’s not gonna disappear, damn!” miles from behind you, panting with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.
“it could,” you shrugged, gesturing to the curtain with your free hand. “get in.”
“stitch won’t fit in there,” miles pointed out.
you frowned and observed your surroundings. you knew stitch was bound to get stolen if you left him outside unattended. you continued to glance around, trying to come up with a simple, but logical solution. your eyes stopped on an old lady sitting on a nearby bench by herself, flipping through a novel. she had on a white sweater with a black dress underneath, her long hair braided down and resting on her shoulder. you told miles to wait by the booth and approached the woman with a light-hearted smile on your face.
“hi, excuse me," you spoke softly in an attempt to make a good impression.
the lady looked up at you, half-surprised. she adjusted the position glasses with her index finger, gently pushing them up the bridge of her nose. “oh, yes?”
“may you please watch this for me while i take pictures with my boyfriend in that booth over there? i promise we won’t be long.”
you looked back at miles and pointed in his direction. though he was clearly confused, he smiled nervously and waved anyway. you turned back around to face the woman and smiled again.
“of course i will, dear,” the lady replied, a smile gracing her lips. she waved back at miles.
“thank you so much,” you smiled graciously, setting stitch next to her on the bench. you were ready to go back to miles when the woman stopped you by calling out. you whipped around, biding patiently in the same spot until she spoke.
“cherish the memories that you’re making. all of them.”
you didn’t exactly know what she meant, but then your last trip to the fair came to mind. it was so long ago, but you had almost forgotten how much fun you’d had, even if you couldn’t do much. you never wanted to make the mistake of taking memories for granted whilst you’re making them, because then you'd miss them too much when they were in the past, at least that's how you saw it. the future is uncertain. life is cruel. that day at the fair as a toddler could’ve been the first and the only time you ever went. today could be the second and the last. you hadn’t really thought about any of that before. you hadn’t thought about how precious your memories really were.
“and make them with the right people.”
you knew what that meant.
your eyes lowered, confusion evident on your face anyway. “how do i know if they’re the right people?”
“you’ll know. intuition is real. if something feels wrong or right, you'll know. listen to what your body is telling you, my dear,” the lady replied, crossing one leg over the other and opening her book back up.
your eyes widened slightly as you were still a tad bit lost, but you nodded. "okay. i will."
you jogged back to the photo booth, excitement coursing through your veins. miles didn’t bother questioning your tactics this time.
you both sat down in the photo booth and miles drew the curtain shut. he sat back and you tapped the screen, selecting two printouts so you could both keep one. before you even got the chance to retrieve your wallet from your purse, miles was sliding a couple dollars inside the machine. you hadn’t even noticed them in his hand before.
“today is my treat. you’re not paying for anything,” he told you.
“boo. i can’t spoil my man every now and then?” you clicked your tongue. “i’ll get you those comics you wanted instead.”
miles shook his head and chuckled. when the timer on the screen began to count down from ten, you fixed your braids and made sure your clothes looked presentable.
“i have ideas,” you announced to miles. you'd be envisioning this moment in your mind for ages. “just let me lead.”
“you the boss,” miles conceded in compliance.
“cool,” you giggled. you slid your hand under miles' chin and pulled him closer until your lips were pressed onto his cheek. you stayed in the same position with your eyes closed until you heard the first flash. the next photo was simple, a shot of you and miles kissing. the third one was the both of you looking at each other and laughing. it wasn’t planned, but miles had made a joke so you didn’t have time to pose any differently.
in the following ten seconds, you made miles your canvas, scattering kissing all over his face. he was confused until he looked at the screen to see all that your lips were imprinted on his face with colored lipgloss. he kissed his teeth but then laughed. your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, and that was the last photo. it was your favorite.
you waited for the photo strips to print and then left the booth. you immediately snapped your neck towards the bench to see your stitch plushy still sitting with the older lady. you sighed in relief and jogged over to her.
“thank you again!” you beamed, grabbing the stuffed animal.
you had a feeling she knew you were also thanking her for the unsolicited advice. you'd never understand how some older people were so good at reading others.
“you’re welcome, dear,” she waved goodbye and you waved back.
you wouldn’t forget what she told you.
you then went back to miles, expressing how happy you were that stitch wasn’t stolen. you went on and on about what a terrible mother you would’ve been, had you lost your child after not even twenty minutes of having him.
a few minutes later, miles caught you staring at some nearby concession stands. you didn’t eat anything before leaving his flat, but the line was a bit lengthy. you were silently trying to decide whether the wait would be worth it.
“you hungry?”
you nodded, settling for waiting in a long queue over an empty stomach. “starving."
❤︎₊ ⊹
it was getting late now. the sun was nowhere in sight and neither was the end of the night. the cool fall breeze felt nice against your soft skin. you wished that you could live in this part of the day for eternity, playfully bickering with miles as if you wouldn’t cling to him a few minutes later during the drop on a rollercoaster.
up to that point, you had gone on at least thirteen rides and played nine competitive mini-games. miles ended up winning most of them, despite him saying he’d go “easy on you.” you’d always respond to loss by saying you won in your heart, and he’d laugh at you. you’d pretend to be upset until you couldn’t fake it anymore and laughed along with him.
now, you and miles were sitting on grass, the synthetic kind. you two had shared a peculiarly long corn dog. you claimed that was enough for you, but miles ordered nachos too, and you shamelessly snatced up a sizable amount of them. food just tasted better when it wasn't yours.
after hours of being offline, you finally had a phone break. you sent your mom a text to check in with her before navigating to your email app. you scrolled through your recent until you came across the digital copies of the pictures you and miles took in the photo booth earlier sitting in your inbox. “i got the digital version of the photos. they're so cute!" you exclaimed.
miles grinned. “send ‘em to me later on."
“will do,” you agreed, looking back up to see him stood up from the ground with stitch in hand.
“i’ma rent out a locker to keep this guy inside of and then head to the bathroom,” he told you.
“okay, i’ll be here,” you nodded.
whenever you were out with anyone, you always thought it was common courtesy not to reply to texts that weren’t urgent. you never wanted to make anyone in your life feel like your focus wasn’t on them while you were spending time together. that being said, you hadn’t thoroughly gone through your notification center since you were at the mall. since miles was gone for a little, you thought it was a good time to deliver a few textbacks, because you knew that after tonight, you wouldn’t have any energy to do so until the next day.
you didn’t have any notifications from the calculus group chat, no surprise there. you had an older one from your mom from before you checked in, but she was just sending a tiktok. the next one down was tiesha and then adana. a pit formed in your stomach and you nervously chewed on the inside of your cheek. despite the uneasy feeling you had, you opened tiesha’s text first.
tiesha💞: [name] (5:46pm) tiesha💞: miles is your boyfriend?? (5:46pm)
‘not this again’ you thought.
you didn’t know what you were expecting the text to say, but it wasn’t that. this wasn’t a topic you wanted to circle back on, given everyone’s initial reactions. and you thought she knew—you thought everyone knew. maybe you weren’t as close with tiesha as you thought you were. or any of those girls.
you: yes... i’ve said this before (7:34pm)
you: literally with him rn. why? what’s the problem? (7:35pm)
your brows were knitted together as you anticipated a reply, your fingers drawing circles in midair just centimeters above the keyboard. you were biting the left side of your lip and your teeth were close to piercing the skin. tiesha's response came quick despite your late reply.
tiesha 💞: miles morales? the one i told you i like?? (7:36pm)
you read the text and had to do a double-take. your stomach dropped all over again. you had an exceptional memory. tiesha had never mentioned miles to you, like, ever. she hadn't mentioned any crush of hers to you at all. you just assumed she wasn't interested in dating.
you: i don’t remember you saying anything about like any miles.. but yeah he’s my boyfriend. (7:36pm) you: he has been for months now. i told y’all this, so idk why you were acting all confused @ the mall. (7:37pm)
tiesha 💞: if we knew then why would we be acting confused? 😐 (7:37pm)
you narrowed your eyes at the screen. you could tell her tone was meant to be harsh.
you: i don’t know, tiesha. (7:38pm) you: maybe for the same reason y’all were acting confused when you found me by myself at the spot that we agreed to meet at tday?? 🤦‍♀️ (7:38pm)
tiesha 💞: we said you could come hang w us (7:39pm) tiesha 💞: you’re the one who left (7:39pm)
you released an exasperated sigh as you read her response. you thought back to what the lady who watched stitch for you told you earlier. you couldn’t stick around these girls for any longer. they weren’t the people you wanted to make memories with. perhaps they were nothing more than a much needed lesson. you partially learned how to socialize, but you also needed to learn how to stand up for yourself. you were growing up. nobody else was going to do it for you.
you: i left bc you guys were acting weird towards me (7:40pm) you: idk what the deal is, but if there’s a problem you need to be straight up about it. (7:40pm) you: we all agreed to meet at the food court, but i opened ig to see y’all posing in a mirror while i’m sitting alone. why’d you even invite me atp?? (7:40pm)
tiesha 💞: i thought adana was lying when she said you got with miles, behind my back but ig she was right. (7:40pm) tiesha 💞: you weird af for that. you know i like him (7:41pm)
you: fym bro.. ??? 😭 i literally did not (7:41pm) you: and either way, he’s BEEN my boyfriend (7:42pm)
tiesha 💞: yk you only got w him to tick me off 🖕 (7:42pm)
you: ok wtv. (7:44pm) you: you guys showed me what kind of people you really are, so best believe i’m not sticking around anyway. you can tell that to eb else.(7:45pm) you: and i don't know what you thought you were doing. miles has been MY boyfriend for almost over a year now. he’ll continue to be my boyfriend for years to come, thanks. (7:47pm)
you didn't hesitate to leave the group chat and block those girls everywhere. they didn’t get to have access to you anymore. it felt like weight was lifted off your shoulders and you silently celebrated in your head. you were still in public and didn’t want to draw attention to you because you were cheering about cutting people off. at least you were free from the burden, even if you had a few less friends now.
“ready to go to the ferris wheel?”
you glanced up from your phone to see miles towering over you, both of hands in the pockets of his green puffer. you smiled big. this was the last thing on your checklist, and the thing you’d been looking forward to since you set foot on fair grounds.
“duh,” you giggled, reaching your arm out so miles could pull you up. after he did, you brushed off your outfit and cleared your throat. “so, do we know which way it is?”
“nope,” miles answered. “we’ll just start walking and hope we come across a map, or something.”
you raised and eyebrow and smirked. “so like we’ve been doing this whole time?”
“like we’ve been doing this whole time,” he echoed.
“i guess it makes it more adventurous,” you decided as you two began to walk away from the grass. you clasped your hand with his. “plus, i can tell you what happened with tiesha while you were in the bathroom while we look for it.”
miles’ eyebrows elevated. “something happened?”
“yep,” you shake your head in annoyance. “tiesha had a crush on you or something. apparently, she didn’t know we were together, so she thinks i got with you just to spite her.”
“how wouldn’t she know?”
“that’s what gets me!” you pointed your index at miles’ chest and tilted your head back in irritation. “i told her and the other three, so i don’t know why they were acting clueless! plus, she swears up and down i knew she liked you. that girl never said a word.”
“from everything you’ve told me today… it sounds like they just don’t like you,” he frowned, speaking in a way that told you he was trying not to hurt your feelings.
“they don’t,” you sighed, tilting your head up slightly. “that’s why we’re not friends anymore. i told tiesha to tell everyone else we won't be talking anymore.”
"really? are you okay?"
you reluctantly nodded. "yeah, i think i'm okay." you were telling the truth. in the moment, you were okay. maybe it'd bother you later, but all that mattered was that it wasn't bothering you now.
miles’ expression softened in relief. “that’s good. i’m glad you’re learning not to take b.s.”
you covered your mouth and snickered when you heard "b.s." for whatever reason, you thought it was humourous coming out of miles' mouth.
“no, really,” miles insisted anyway. “i’m proud of you.”
you didn’t ask for confirmation because you believed him even if you found the delivery funny. “thank you, miles.”
he smiled and pulled you closer, planting a kiss on your forehead. you grinned and pressed your ear against his arm. you made sure to take in and appreciate each and every step you took forward with your lovely boyfriend. you were cherishing a memory that wasn’t one yet, but tonight felt far too special not to. you absorbed everything to the scenery and the moonlight to the warmth that clinging to miles' arm gave you.
as if it was looking for you two and not the other way around, you and miles found your way to the ferris wheel without even having to seek out direction. surprisingly, the queue wasn’t at all demanding. when you got closer to the front of the line, you thought of something. you needed something to remember your favorite memory by, anyway.
“we should take a picture in front of the wheel,” you suggested to your boyfriend. “we can ask someone to do it for us.”
“bet,” miles pulled his phone out of his back pocket of his jeans.
he turned around and kindly asked a random girl standing in line behind you two if she could take the photo for you. she thankfully agreed and miles swiped to the camera app and handed her his cell. you two backed up a bit and the girl told you where to stand so that the photo would look better. you took a few pictures standing in front of the wheel side by side, miles’ arm around your shoulders. you two were hugging in one of the shots and he was kissing your forehead in the other.
after those pictures, you took miles’ arm and made him face a different direction. now your shoulders were to the camera lens and the ferris wheel. you snaked your arms around his neck and he instinctively placed his arms around your waist. this was one of your favorite poses, miles knew what to do by now.
you glanced down at your feet and took a step closer to miles so the distance you two wouldn’t look awkward. you lifted your head back up to meet his gaze. the boy was looking at you and you could’ve sworn you saw hearts forming in his eyes. he wasn’t just looking at you, he was admiring you. there was a difference, and you could tell.
but it’s not like you weren’t doing the same.
you whispered loud enough for only miles to hear. “i love you."
“i love you more."
you shifted onto your toes and miles slightly leaned down to reach you. your lips connected effortlessly, your eyes fluttering closed in unison. the ferris wheel lights glimmered behind you two as miles deepened the kiss. you mindlessly lifted your hands to his cheek, your thumbs gently caressing his soft, warm skin.
“got it!” the girl taking the photo called out.
you and miles slowly withdrew your bodies apart and she approached you two, handing miles the phone. you both thanked the girl and got back in line. your gaze was fixed on the structure above you. all you could think about was how pretty the sky was bound look from all the way up there.
you excitedly entered the cabin when it was finally you and miles’ turn. the designated employee shut the door and your eyes immediately glued themselves to the window. you were just barely going up, and you already had a better view of the fair and all of the lights.
“you seeing this, miles?” you questioned without even daring to rip your eyes away from the window.
“i am,” he smiled. your reaction to the view made him happier than any angle of the world around him ever could.
as you ascended higher up, you focused more on what was above ground rather than on it. the luminous stars painted the night sky like white spatters of paint would paint a black canvas. they glittered brightly above you while the ferris wheel slowly spun.
you turned your head back to miles to smile at him, but he beat you to it. you felt like the luckiest girl alive. you were thankful to have at least one person who was true to you. that alone was more than enough. 
miles was more than enough.
the moonshine illuminated your beguiling features as you admired its fullness and its beauty. your head was rested on miles’ shoulder and his arm was sitting around your waist, the other one holding your hand in his lap. you knew you’d look back on this and recall that you never took this day or the feeling that came with it for granted, not once.
this felt so right—you didn’t know how to explain it. tonight was perfect and you would never change a thing. everything was how it should be. you were where you should be, you could feel it. this felt right in your soul.
maybe this was it. maybe this is what everyone was talking about.
maybe intuition is real.
❤︎₊ ⊹ bonus:
you and miles had concluded your fair date and were back at his place. you were going to stay for a while before returning to your own. your head was on his shoulder and your legs were curled up in the opposite direction. his hand was evolved in yours, as yours was in his. miles' mom was home and you definitely didn't want to give her the wrong idea by appearing exceedingly handsy.
“i had fun,” you gloated on the day you'd just had as miles browsed through netflix on the tv.
“are you sure? you seemed pretty over it when i beat you at basketball.”
you tongue clicked. "very funny, morales." you thought for a moment. “and thanks for taking me out, by the way. i know you were probably tired from having to fight all morning,” you exhaled.
“it’s no problem,” miles insisted, though you could tell he looked tired. “tomorrow’s sunday, i’ll get some sleep then.”
you both turned your heads when you heard the sound of a door being opened echoed through the hallway followed by rhythmic footsteps. even though you and miles both knew the footsteps belonged to rio, the hallway was dark, so neither you or him could see her until she stepped into the living room. her hair was down instead of being braided or put into a ponytail like it usually was. she was trying to slide a hoop into the earring hole in one of her ears. she was in one of her fancier outfits.
"jeez, you kids been on the couch all day?"
“we went to the fair,” miles replied, a smile tugging at one corner of his lips.
“oh really? explains the oversized oso on your bed. papa, didn’t you use to watch that one show… what was it called? spy oso?”
“special agent oso, mami,” miles corrected her, a hint of embarrassment fermenting in his voice. his teeth were clenched and his eyebrows were furrowed. “and that’s stitch, not a bear.”
you were stifling a laugh, one of your hands shielding the grin on your mouth while the other clutched your stomach. rio didn’t see, but miles did and he rolled his eyes at you.
“i left the snacks in your room, i’ll be right back," you told miles before you got up and disappeared down the hall.
“stitch? what’s a—” rio stopped herself and shook her head. “actually, never mind. how was the fair?”
miles answered her anyway. “it’s an alien, mom. from lilo and stitch. and the fair was good, we had a lot of fun. i can show you pictures later.”
“good,” rio smiled but then broke into a whisper. “miles, mejor la llevas a casa. don’t let that girl wander around all by herself at night.”
“alright, alright,” he put his hands up in defense. “you know i always take her home, calmáte.”
“alright, then. just making sure," rio retorted. "anyway, i’m in a hurry, i’m going to meet your dad, his coworker, and his coworker's wife somewhere. comportarse,” rio cautioned in a stern tone of voice, walking over to the couch and planting a kiss on her son’s cheek.
“i will,” miles promised as his mom hastily walked to the front door.
“tell [name] i’ll see her soon,” rio called out to miles before shutting the door.
a few moments later, you emerged from the shadows that lurked in the hall and took your seat next to miles on the couch. you scooted closer to him and pulled the blanket over both of your legs, handing him his bag of chips then opening your own. he hadn’t chosen something for you guys to watch yet.
“where’d your mom go?” you inquired, looking around.
“somewhere with dad,” miles answered, shrugging his shoulders at the same time. “she told me to say she’ll see you soon though.”
“aww,” you grinned. you really did love rio. you had to stop yourself from chuckling when you recalled her bringing up one of the shows miles used to watch as a kid. as hilarious as you found the whole thing, you held in your laugh anyway. you refocused your attention to the tv on the other side of the coffee table. it didn't take you long to realize that your beloved boyfriend still had yet to choose a movie to watch or a show to binge.
“what should we watch tonight?... homecoming?”
“jesus, no,” miles frantically shook his head, waving his arms around in a panic.
you were referring to beyoncé's 2018 coachella headlining performance movie. you’d made the boy watch the film with you more times than he could count on you two's twenty fingers combined. miles knew the name's every song being performed, the lyrics, and what order they were performed in. he had almost memorized all of the dance breaks, but not willingly. he swore that the word “homecoming” alone triggered some kind of ptsd. miles knew you too well. he was well aware that the renaissance movie would be a homecoming repeat, but maybe ten times worse. he'd been mentally preparing for that as well.
“booooo, you’re boring,” you frowned.
“thanksgiving is coming up, how about that one charlie brown movie?”
“only if we can binge christmas movies after.”
“deal.”
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f1letters · 1 year
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labyrinth | aa23
"uh-oh, I'm falling in love, oh no, I'm falling in love again"
summary: it's safe to say she wasn't expecting to fall in love so quickly after just ending a five-year relationship, but alex albon was just everything she needed without even realizing it
warning: overall fluff with a little hint of angst, rom-com vibes, brother's best friend, recent breakup, mentions of falling out of love with someone, reader's ex has a name (Harry), mentions of Alex breaking his collarbone when he was cycling with George (I still remember laughing so hard when I read about this lol), reader completely clueless that her feelings are reciprocated, big romantic gesture in the end, swearing
pairing: alex albon x russell!reader
word count: 3.9k
note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.
living for the rom-com content this week! haha, I hope everyone enjoys their daily dose of sweet, fluffy, perfect alex because he owns my heart and I'm always a sucker for the brother's best friend trope! haha
masterlist
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"It only hurts this much right now"
Was what I was thinkin' the whole time
Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out
I'll be gettin' over you my whole life
Having the painful realization that you fell out of love with someone you still adore immensely feels almost like losing touch with reality for a moment.
All of a sudden, your entire life changes.
You find yourself loving old memories more than the opportunity to create new ones. 
You feel afraid of leaving all the plans and all the dreams you spoke of fulfilling behind.
You realize you're trapped in the past, stuck in the old idea you still have preciously stored in your head of how they used to be.
Y/N felt like she was losing a part of herself now that Harry was gone.
It was five years together after all. Five years of ups and downs, of laughter and tears, of happiness and anger, of dreams and nightmares.
But as much as she tried to find the butterflies she felt at the beginning in every detail of him, when the young woman looked at her long-time partner she could only see traces of what they once were.
Stupidly, it hurt more that they'd broken up on nice terms. Maybe if they'd had a dramatic, fiery ending she'd have had an easier time moving on.
But fuck, he was still one of the best people she'd ever met. Things just weren't working anymore and their paths didn't seem to align anymore.
Y/N was more than convinced that she would be getting over him her whole life.
At that point, her only source of sanity was her brother's unconditional support. Well... Sanity might have been a strong term.
George had become a true helicopter brother, constantly glued to her side, even if it meant dragging her around the world with him.
It had been a month since Y/N and Harry had been separated and the girl had managed to cross three continents in that time. What a fancy way to deal with heartbreak.
But in one of the few moments when the younger Russell managed to escape her sibling's watchful eyes, Y/N found herself with tears in her eyes, her heart shattered on the floor and her head spinning.
As much as she tried to suppress the sobs that were coming out of her mouth, her cries did not go unnoticed by the attentive ears of the Thai driver who passed by the Mercedes motorhome on his way to visit his best friend.
You know how scared I am of elevators
Never trust it if it rises fast
It can't last
Taking a detour from his previously planned route, Alex carefully approached the crying girl, placing a hand on her forearm which made her turn towards him abruptly.
He felt a tightness in his chest as soon as he saw her smudged, red eyes. "Hey little Russ, are you okay?"
Y/N quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her black long sleeve, putting on a forced smile. "Alex, hey! Oh, it's nothing, I'm okay. Don't worry."
"You were always a terrible liar, you know that?" The boy leaned against the wall, his eyes still fixed on hers. "You can talk to me, Y/N. I promise I'll take your secrets to the grave. Scout's honour!"
The young woman laughed. She knew that the driver was someone she could trust. After all, he had been a constant presence in her life for many years now through George, even if she was never that close to him.
"It's so... Stupid, I feel ridiculous." She confessed, looking up at the open sky and letting out a sad sigh. "Harry is seeing someone new."
"Harry as in your bore of an ex Harry?" She rolled her eyes but nodded yes. "Damn, already? Do you think... Do you think he was already seeing her before you split?"
"No, he wouldn't." The girl spoke. "The thing is neither of us was happy in that relationship, and I know we made the right choice, but... It doesn't hurt any less to see the person who was with you for years move on."
Not knowing exactly what moved him to do so, Alex let his hand run along her soft hair in an act of comfort. Y/N found herself feeling a familiar feeling in her stomach, although she wasn't sure what it was.
"Look, don't waste your time dwelling on that." The driver said as he continued to play with the ends of her locks. "I'm sure that someday he won't be more than a distant memory and that you have a bright future waiting for you with someone who makes you feel like the best version of yourself."
"Alex Albon, what an amazing motivational speech, who knew you were so poetic!" She made him laugh and then hugged him from the side, resting her face on his arm. "But really, thank you. I needed this."
"Anytime, little Russ." He rested his face on the top of her head momentarily, only to push away almost immediately. "So, ready to see your brother get his ass kicked today?"
Y/N felt her palms sweat as she walked next to the boy on their way to her brother, still confused about the sudden effect Thai had on her.
It's just a moment of weakness, it won't last, she tried to convince herself, he's your brother's best friend for God's sake.
Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around?
From that moment on, and for some reason mysterious to both of them, they seemed to seek each other out whenever the occasion presented itself.
Y/N would purposefully extend her path to Mercedes on race days in hopes of passing Alex by Williams to wish him luck.
And boy, if Alex didn't make an effort to spend as much time outside the motorhome as possible praying that the girl who he couldn't get out of his head would show up, even if she always had George next to her.
In the middle of all their yearning, the two had started an unspoken tradition during the weeks that followed, which made them feel all warm and fuzzy inside in true puppy love fashion.
On another Sunday like all the others, Alex was lost in conversation with Lando in front of his team's motorhome when - to his shock - he saw the girl about to pass by him... Alone?
Leaving his friend behind with just a few words and a confused look on the British driver's face, Alex hurried over to her, putting his arm around the girl's shoulders.
"Well, well, well... What do we have here? A rare sight of Y/N without her bodyguard?" He spoke with a mischievous smirk.
"Yeah, looks like I got left behind today." Y/N chuckled, eyes twinkling in his direction.
"I never seem to get you alone around these parts. Is Georgie really that controlling?" Alex laughed, knowing full well that his friend had always been very protective of his sister. 
Yikes, if he only knew the way his best friend thought about her now.
"So you wanted to get me alone, unh?" Y/N teased the man, without controlling the flirtatious energy with which her question came out of her mouth.
Alex was taken aback but didn't hesitate to respond with the same tone. "And what if I wanted to?"
"Didn't know you were such a flirt, Albon!" She said, teasingly. "My brother, on the other hand, might not be very happy that his best friend is trying to make a move on his baby sister." The girl stated with a serious look, although her mouth still revealed a smirk.
"He doesn't need to know." The driver said as he started walking back to the building, but not before turning to her again and speaking. "If you don't have plans tonight, let's do something. What do you say?"
"I'll think about it." She said, grinning from ear to ear. "Good luck, lover boy."
Uh-oh, I'm falling in love, she realized as her heart pounded in her chest.
It only feels this raw right now
Lost in the labyrinth of my mind
Break up, break free, break through, break down
You would break your back to make me break a smile
Y/N really thought of not going. 
It would've spared her the inevitable heartbreak she was going to go through when her brother eventually found out that she had feelings for Alex.
But on the spur of the moment, the young woman chose to worry about her fears later and take her chances, as she stormed out of her hotel room towards the driver's.
Y/N knocked on his door nervously and it only took a few seconds for Alex to show up, with only his shorts on, his hair dishevelled and his toned chest on full display.
"Y/N, you came," he said, an obviously surprised look on his face. "I thought you had bailed."
Oh great, he has someone in there with him, she thought as soon as she saw the strands of his golden hair all tousled. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you had company. I'm going to g-"
"What?" He asked lost until he realized the state he was in. "Oh no, no, no! I ended up falling asleep when I realized you weren't com- Or rather when I thought you weren't coming. Please, come in."
The girl entered the room, studying her surroundings while Alex put on a sweatshirt.
"I honestly had lost all hope that you were going to show up," He chuckled timidly. "But I'm so glad you proved me wrong."
After some discussion, the two ended up settling on ordering room service and rewatching The Office - obsessed with the show they had seen it dozens of times over the years - while they ate their late dinner sitting on his giant bed and talked to each other about everything.
"Why did you guys go cycling into the middle of the forest... If the brakes on the fucking bike didn't work?" Tears were now streaming down the girl's eyes, she was laughing so hard at the story Alex was telling her.
"Hey, stop laughing! I broke my collarbone!" The driver already felt stomach pains from laughing so hard and he pushed her until she fell backwards onto the mattress. "And you should know I saved your brother's ass! I gave him the good bike and that's how the universe thanked me!"
"Stop, stop!" She remained laying on the bed, arms hugging her stomach. "I can't laugh anymore or I swear I'll pass out."
Lying down next to her, Alex looked at the girl with passionate eyes. "I'm glad me breaking a bone at least made you break a smile."
At that moment, lost in his gaze, Y/N knew she was in too deep and there was no way back.
You know how much I hate
That everybody just expects me to bounce back
Just like that
Now that the two had already crossed the line and they had spent time one on one, the two friends - or so they liked to call themselves, their feelings still hidden from both parties - were inseparable.
Whenever they could they found themselves together: whether it was within four walls late at night just enjoying each other's company, or exploring cities around the world after getting rid of George with a lame excuse.
So, when Y/N received a message from the driver inviting her to dinner, she wasn't surprised or questioned anything.
It was at a restaurant where the two had already been several times in Monaco along with other friends, so the girl just assumed that the same would happen this time around too.
However, hours later, when she questioned George about his plans for that evening - convinced that her question would spark a debate about rides to the restaurant - the words that came out of his mouth quickly made her realize that she had the wrong idea all along.
"I'll probably just stay home and play with the boys. Well, other than Alex, apparently he has a hot date today with some girl he's been all mysterious about."
A d- d- date. Was this supposed to be a date?!
"Oh." She felt her face go white in shock, something that thankfully went unnoticed by her brother as he was glued to his phone. "I- I'll be right back."
The girl ran upstairs to her room and grabbed her cell phone to reread Alex's message.
From: lover boy
what do you think about dinner with your favourite guy tonight at blue bay, 7pm? 👀 
All of a sudden, her palms got sweaty, her heart rate started to increase, and she started to feel apprehensive.
Of course, she had already come to terms with the fact that she had feelings for him but him liking her back?
Surely it was nothing more than a misunderstanding and tonight was nothing more than a dinner between friends.
Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around?
The hours passed and she found herself dolled up in a simple long blue dress on her way to where Alex was waiting for her completely alone and more beautiful than ever.
It was a date, there was no question about it.
Alex held out his hand for her to help her out of the taxi and kept it in Y/N's as he looked at her in astonishment. "Jesus, you- You look... Incredible. Fucking incredible really. Shall we go in, little Russ?"
With the simple use of the nickname he always used, Y/N closed herself within her walls as she remembered how wrong she was for going after Alex on her brother's back.
And with that remembrance alone, the date was already ruined before it even started.
For a couple of hours, the two sat at a glamorous table making small, forced talk. Even Alex gave up trying to keep the conversation going when he realized she wasn't feeling it.
The driver felt like the dumbest person on the planet at that moment: not only had he broken his best friend's trust, but he had done it just to have his heart broken in the end.
The silence continued on the ride home, with Alex offering to drive her back like a true gentleman even after the whole dinner fiasco. After a few torturous minutes, he stopped the car and she put her hand on the door handle so fast his heart only shattered more.
"Well, thanks for dinner." She said, her eyes glued to her lap afraid to face him. "I- I'll see you soon, good night."
Alex saw her get out of his Mercedes but unable to accept that this was it, the driver jumped out of the driver's seat towards her. "Wait!"
The girl turned back, coming face to face with the dishevelled image of the boy rushing towards her.
"What went wrong tonight?" Alex asked distraught, letting his hand run through his hair. "I thought I was pretty clear that I cared a lot about you. Hell, I thought you felt the same way. Did I misunderstand things between us that badly all these months we spent together?"
Oh no, I'm falling in love again, she thought to herself and dread filled her from top to bottom like a shiver.
"I'm sorry, Alex," She said, still unable to look at him, especially now that tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. "But I just can't do this right now."
And without even answering, Alex simply walked away.
Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around?
After spending months on end talking every day, it all became radio silent.
Y/N couldn't help but blame herself for ending up hurt. He'd put his heart on the line and confronted the undeniable feelings between them, only for her to let fear drive her and ruin everything.
She was the only one responsible for the sudden lump she felt in her throat, for the heaviness of her heart and for the wave of sadness that hit her.
It only got worse when a week later she saw his misery-written face on yet another race weekend, as she got choked with tears, thanks to the painful distance now set between them.
One week turned into two and those feelings of hopelessness and melancholy were still in the air, something that did not escape George's watchful eye.
Taking his place on the sofa next to the girl wrapped in a blanket drinking tea, the elder Russell sat down without much care and let out an exhausted sigh.
"Crikey, what's up with everyone? I swear you've all been in a bad mood lately." He said, without getting a response back. "Did you and Alex plan to get all depressed together or something? Jesus."
The girl gulped at 'her and Alex' and 'together' being in the same sentence, as she tried to keep her concentration on the movie that was on TV.
"He's been all upset since he went on that date I told you about. Apparently, it was a complete failure and now I'll never know who the girl was." George laughed, shaking his head. "I never understood the secrecy. It's not like he went out with you or som-"
Unconsciously, Y/N turned her face towards the large glass window embarrassed but quickly realized that her reaction had given her away.
"Oh, my God," George spoke slowly, trying to accept what he had just realized. "It was you?"
"It doesn't matter now." She finally seemed to get her voice back. "It was a silly decision but it's over anyways."
"What happened?"
"It's over, I told you. I never should have even developed feelings for him." Y/N looked into her brother's eyes, tears forming. "I knew he was your best friend and I still didn't put a stop to things. I'm so so sorry, G."
"Y/N…" The driver leaned against the back of the sofa and brought his hand to his forehead. "Please tell me you didn't break his heart because you thought I would be bothered by you guys going out."
Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around?
"Just now you were saying the only reason he should hide a date is if he was going to go out with me!" The girl's voice rose. "Of course, I had to put a stop to it before things went too far!"
"I said it was the only reason he WOULDN'T tell me, not that he SHOULD hide it!" Her brother screamed along with her.
The two sat silently contemplating each other's words until George spoke. "Little sis, I'm sorry to break it to you but I think things have gone too far just by looking at your broken faces these past days."
Oh, he's right, I'm definitely falling in love, she finally accepted.
"Alex is one of the best people I know and I trust him with my life. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my sister's side if you guys love each other." The man said, his hands resting on each of her shoulders. "Go for it and get him back."
Uh-oh, I'm fallin' in love
Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again
Oh, I'm fallin' in love
Speeding as if her life depended on it, Y/N reached the house of the boy who had her heart and knocked incessantly on his door.
"Calm down, who the f-" Alex opened the door, ready to argue with the person on the other side until he realized it was her. "Y/N."
"Before you send me away, please listen to what I have to say." Y/N pleaded while Alex observed the girl. 
She was in his doorway, still wearing her pyjamas, fluffy pink slippers on her feet, with a beanie and a scarf that she at least remembered to grab on her way out or she wouldn't have survived the cold.
"I was a complete idiot for letting you go that night. What I should have done was run after you, begged for a second chance and told you that I'm falling for you and have been since the day you found me crying in the back of that motorhome."
"I was at my worst and you still managed to put me back together and turn it right around. You are literally the man of my dreams. You have everything I want and need in a partner, and I never should have let this drag on for so long in the first place. So please, give me a chance to show you how happy and great we can be together."
The two seemed frozen at the moment, with their hearts on their sleeves and eyes filled with love and hope for a happy ending, until they heard someone from inside the house clearing their throat.
Turning to face his living room, Y/N now noticed the group of drivers - and unfortunately friends of her brother as well - with sly smiles on their faces. "Oh God, please kill me now."
"It was quite the speech, Russell, but maybe we should go." Lando spoke, grinning at the girl, as he, Charles, Pierre and Carlos left the apartment.
"I will never show my face in the paddock again." She said to Alex, covering her face with her hands.
The Thai affectionately removed her hands, intertwining them with his, and approached her, with a smile the size of the world. "I don't know. I agree with Lando, it was quite the speech indeed."
Without thinking twice, and before he could change his mind, Y/N placed her lips on his in a kiss that both of them had been craving for months.
And the moment their mouths met, they both discovered what it was like to feel that one person was their home.
"What about George?" Alex questioned, pulling away slightly from her.
"He almost pushed me out of the house to come here and make things right." The girl laughed, circling the tall boy's waist with her arms.
"Well, little Russ, looks like I'm going to have to buy Georgie dinner as a 'thank you'." He chuckled, grateful for his best friend. "Or should I say, my future brother-in-law?"
"Calm down, lover boy. I've been here for a few minutes." They laughed together, wrapped up in each other. "We have all the time in the world to think about the future."
Sometimes it only takes one painful heartbreak to help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.
I thought the plane was goin' down
How'd you turn it right around?
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(taglist continues in the comments)
thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌
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kookslastbutton · 11 months
Text
Fine Print ༓ jjk, kth (m) || ch. I
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✑ Summary: Your boss needs you to strike a deal with one of South Korea's biggest business tycoon, Kim Taehyung. What he didn't tell you though, was that Jeon Jungkook, his negligent heir, would be accompanying you the whole time. Isn't this just peachy?
Pairing: company heir!jungkook x fem!reader x ceo!taehyung (not poly)
AU/genre: angst, humor, fluff, smut, stuck together, office au, coworkers2lovers, lo-love triangle (do I dare? yes, yes I do), mini-series
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 4.1k+
Now playing: Softcore, Do I Wanna Know?, Blank Space...
Warnings: Not too many this chapter but main ones are swearing, bickering, jk is kind of a kluts so he ain't exactly prince charming right now, reader is ticked obvs, accidental t*tty flash, oh and reader has a cat!
Taglist:
@coralmusicblaze @seokjins-luigi @oopscoop @chanjwl @taebangtanbabe @j3oooonsnsns
A/N: Here it is! Late again, I know, so thank you to anyone who's been waiting. I'm super excited about this mini-series! FYI I've decided not to make chapters too long so I'm more likely to update faster. Enjoy and lmk what you think. My asks are open ��
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One.
Two.
Three.
It's been three hours on the phone with your sister.
'Have you eaten anything yet? Oh dear, why not? Go eat right now!'
'You better not be pregnant __. I'm not ready to be an aunt yet!'
"There are more important things than work you know. I know it's hard to admit but, distance is good so you don't become dull and boring. Get away for a while. You can come up to my place for a few if you need.'
Although Y/S/N is only four years older, she's always had the compulsion to act like your mother. Constantly checking up on you, giving unsolicited advice, and spewing opinions were her specialty.
It's not that you mind hours of conversations over the phone and it's not entirely dreadful. But your energy is surely spent after. Guess that's family for you.
"Really, I'm fine," you answer back. "Don't worry about me so much. And yes I ate, no I'm not pregnant, and I can't afford a break from work right now but I'll see you as soon as I can."
Once the phone slips from your ear, you release a soft huff. Finally. You allow your mind to go blank before something long and sleek brushes against your calf. You can't help but break into a smile and crouch down on the floor to confront the source.
"Did you miss me baby?"
Meow.
"I missed you too." You pick up Kumo, your 3-year-old Siamese. Kumo lived at a local rescue league for a year before you adopted him. You weren't sure you'd be able to take care of a cat when a friend suggested it. But once you saw Kumo's shimmering blue eyes, you knew you weren't walking out empty-handed.
Meowmeowmeow
Kumo kneads your sleeve, ears relaxing as you stroke his back. Each gentle purr reminds you why you consider him your best form of therapy. "Good boy Kumo. I wish I could take you to work with me...silly company policy."
A few strokes later and Kumo starts wiggling in your arms. Claws prick your skin, telling you he's had enough lovey-dovey for now. You suppose it's nearly time for his late night snack.
Meooooow
"Alright I gotcha," you say, setting him near his food dish. Kumo gladly jumps out of your arms to attack the last remaining pebbles in his bowl. "Mom should get something to eat too shouldn't she?"
Truth be told you actually hadn't eaten all day. And though you never meant for it to happen, it's a regular occurrence. Your sister would go absolutely off if she found out which is why you sorta...don't tell her?
Feeling your body aching, you pop a few pieces of fruit in your mouth before deciding to hit the shower. Not the most substantial option but you're ready to crash and crash hard. You'll eat in the morning, for sure. You plug your cell in by the nightstand but before you turn to leave, a notification drops on the screen.
CEO Jeon: __, sorry to be reaching out this late. I need you to come by my office around 2:30 tomorrow if you can. There's something urgent I need to discuss with you. [sent at 9:03pm]
You re-read the message twice before typing out a reply. What could be this urgent? Are you being let go? Dammit, don't think like that. Surely he wouldn't.
__: Of course Saengnim. I'll be there at 2:30pm. Is everything alright? [sent at 9:07pm]
CEO Jeon: Thank you __. Everything's fine, only a slight change of plans. Have a good night. [sent at 9:08pm]
Still unsettled, you're tempted to press further. But being your boss, you let it go. The risk of grilling him for answers wasn't something you were willing to take.
Probably has to do with a new product launch or something, you think. The company's always pumping out new tech. Nothing's been as successful as those smart lights though. They were the true turning point for the company.
With a long exasperated sigh, you grab a towel from the bathroom closet and turn on the shower knob. Whatever it is, you'll find out tomorrow.
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"Get your feet off my desk Jungkook."
He looks at you with his notorious bambi eyes, hands laced behind his neck. He's got a stripped dress shirt on, untucked, over a pair of light-washed jeans. Who let the kid in your office?
"I did." He says. "And you're not allowed to call me kid when I'm only three years younger than you."
So you said that kid thing out loud—classic.
"You can't be in here without permission Jungkook." You ignore his comment and hang your jacket on the hook behind the door.
Jungkook eyes you from the other other side of the desk. He takes in your perfectly fitted white blouse, sleek black slacks, and shiny heels. Always so put together, he thinks. A little too posh for his taste personally.
"You know my daddy owns this office." He clicks his tongue. "So technically, I kinda already got permission and all."
You hate when he uses that card. Like being the boss's son suddenly alleviates him from standard office protocol. You promise, the day this irritable little prick takes over the company will be the day you quit. Good thing that won't be for a long time though. Jungkook is far from ready to run a multibillion-dollar company.
You place a hand on your hip. "Is there something I can do for you? Because I have a very generous to-do list and babysitting you isn't on there."
Jungkook sweeps his feet off the mahogany surface. His posture straightens as he strolls his chair, or rather your chair, closer to the desk. "I'm glad you asked." He clutches his hands together, as if serious. "I need a partner."
You hold back a snort. This better not be what it sounds like. "Nice try but I'm not going out with you Jungkook."
"Oh gosh no, that's not what I meant." He shakes his head. "Pretty sure we'd both get in trouble then, given our relationship. Plus…you're not really my type."
"Okay, so there's something we can agree on." Jungkook openly admitting he isn't attracted to you is the least of your concerns. You aren't necessarily fond of him either. "What do you need me to do then? Set you up with someone? Get to the point please."
"I'm not talking about that type of partner __. I mean a work partner."
You feel the hand on your hip slowly glide down your figure. Work partner? Jungkook notices the blood immediately rush from your face. "I'm listening," you mumble.
"Yeah so uh, my dad wants me to get more exposure to the company because I'll be running it one day or whatever. Apparently, there's some business trip coming up that's a really big deal and I'm supposed to go. I was told you have the reigns on it. So I'm gonna need to be like your partner or something. I guess it's already decided actually, sorry.”
The words hardly register in your brain. He couldn't be talking about the business trip. The one that's been rattling in your brain, keeping you up day and night. Your boss assigned it to you months in advance, saying you'd be able to network with the company's potential client best.
You were confident in taking on such a task until you learned it wasn't just any client. It was Kim Taehyung, CEO of the biggest and most luxurious hotel chain in South Korea; White Lotus. Hearing his name alone made your toes curl. Nevertheless, you've been doing all you can to prepare for the official meeting. Having Jungkook there to breathe unnecessary stress down your neck wasn't part of the plan. And oh my god...it's in two days!
"Uh, well um, okay" is all you can reply amongst your jumbled-up thoughts.
Jungkook, completely opposite expression, breaks out into a big wide grin. "Okay, it's settled then! Who we meeting? Kim Taeyang or something?"
"Really Jungkook? Kim Taeyang?" You circle your temple knowing full well what your future was about to behold. This must be what your boss wanted to meet about. The fact that he said this was merely a "slight change of plans" is alarmingly irksome. Oh, you're definitely getting that drink after work. "It's Taehyung," you correct. "Wait...what time is it?"
Jungkook checks his phone. "Uhm..about 2:20."
Dammit. Pressed for time, you stride around your desk and pick up a folder from a stack of documents. "Sorry to cut this short but you're going to have to leave now. I have a meeting in ten minutes and you can't be here."
With furrowed brows, Jungkook lets out a small grunt. It doesn't seem to be from a place of anger but rather, disappointment. "What about the business trip with Taehyang? You still have to get me up to speed and stuff!"
"For the last time, it's Kim Taehyung. Taehyung." You stress every syllable of his name before rubbing your forehead. "You might wanna get his name right before you shake his hand in two days!"
"Well, what am I supposed to do? I'm here all day! I kinda need you."
Anxiously, you flip the folder open and scan through each page. "I don't know, do some research about Kim and his hotel chain. If you're coming on the trip you need to know a thing or two."
"But—"
"Off you go," you say, smacking him with the folder in hand. "Beat it."
"That's no way to treat your work partner or better yet, future ceo __."
"Out Jungkook. I'll talk you to later."
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Your boss rounds the corner of his desk, a glass of scotch in hand. He invites you to take a seat before getting down to the heart of it. "Now that Jungkook's 25 he needs to start preparing for his future," he says. "I'm well aware that he's not yet ready to take over as CEO, which is why I've decided that he go with you on this very critical business trip. You've been a loyal part of my team these past five years and I trust you to help guide Jungkook into the next stage of his life."
"Sir, I am pleased that you'd think of me in this way, however, the meeting is in two days. Kim Taehyung is someone who we both know expects perfection. I'm well prepared to have this discussion with him regarding our transaction but I'm concerned that Jungkook won't have enough time to."
"I understand your concern. But not to worry, Ms. __. Jungkook is merely there to observe so you shouldn't need to worry about him saying something he shan't. You'll still be taking the lead on everything."
"Sir I–"
"__. I know its very last minute. And my son has his challenges but I'm afraid this isn't a choice for you. But I tell you what. If you do this for me and you manage to seal the deal with Kim, I guarantee you'll be very well compensated."
The replay of your earlier meeting with your boss brews in the back of your mind. You nearly forget where you are until your friend pipes up from across the table.
“You’re kidding," the younger woman says, nearly spitting out her drink.
“I wish I was.” The dryness in your tone is unmistakable. "My boss said he insists that his son, who by the way has barely stepped foot in the company, be involved in one of the biggest business transactions in years. How am I supposed to sell smart tech to Kim Taehyung with that kid fiddling with god knows what beside me?"
The woman, Eun-ji, flashes you her famous side-eye. “Oh stop complaining __, it'll cause wrinkles. Besides that kid is basically the same age as you. But more importantly, he's hot.” She gives you a light shove. “Don’t pretend you don't know it.”
You shake your head and take a sip of your cocktail. Eun-ji may be one of your closest friends but damn was that girl relentless. Constantly giggling over you and Jungkook going away for a few days is just another one of her matchmaking attempts. Yesterday it was the overly friendly man at the bakery, today it’s your boss’s nuisance of a son.
A blaring light suddenly gets shoved in front of you mid-thought, causing your face to jolt back. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the blinding brightness of the phone screen. “What the hell Eun-ji? Get Jungkook out of my face.”
Eun-ji swipes left, revealing another ridiculous photo of Jungkook posing as the next prodigy of business. “The one to watch” or some shit. “Look at that face __, and those muscles. You can’t hate him forever.”
You scrunch your face. “I never said I hated him Eun-ji. I’m a grown woman for god sak–okay that's enough!” You push the phone abruptly back. “I don’t want to see my boss’s son in Calvin Klien's underwear, please.”
Eun-ji chuckles and sets her phone down. “Sorry, accident.” She casually folds her arms on the wood surface and leans forward. “But seriously, three days alone with Jungkook in the most glamorous hotel in Seoul and you don’t think anything of it?”
“I’m not having sex with Jungkook if that's what you're getting at. And yes, we’ll be in a fancy-ass hotel with joint rooms,” you say emphasizing the joint part. “But it’s not a leisure trip. I’m going there to form some sort of partnership or deal with Kim and Jungkook happens to be carry-on luggage. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Fine. Have it your way.” Slowly, Eun-ji falls back in her chair. Her eyes flicker to a far corner of the restaurant before the same sly expression returns. “So how do you feel about meeting Kim Taehyung, the beast of business and hospitality himself?”
“Still a little shaken up but I've had several variations of these meetings before. Kim Taehyung is just a man and I can handle him.”
“Come on __, extend me a branch," Eun-ji say with a slight whine. "Maybe Jungkook gets by but not Kim Taheyung. We both know you've been head over heels for him in Lalaland ever since he made front and center with the press."
Tugging your bottom lip you desperately try suppressing a grin. "That's such an exaggeration. I'm not–"
"I've known you for ten years __. You're always, and I mean always weak for an intelligent, sexy, business-savvy brain. Kim far surpasses the bill."
"Alright fine, fine fine fine," you chant, giving up. "You're right. I'm still nervous as hell about meeting Taehyung and hope to death I don't fumble. Happy?"
Pleased, Eun-ji lets out a wide grin that tells you she's now concocting a soap opera with you and Taehyung as the main leads. "That's all I wanted to hear," she coos.
"Promise me you'll take good care of Komu? We leave Friday morning."
"Of course, I will," she says, leaning forward to gently grip your shoulder. "Kumo and I are going to have three full days of watching reruns of Love Island. Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan are his favorites."
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Friday - 8:04 a.m.
"If you don't get here in the next fifteen minutes I'm leaving with or without you Jungkook." You stroll your suitcase into the boarding line outside your gate. You and Jungkook's flight to Seoul was scheduled to take off in twenty minutes but your partner, get this, woke up late and is now running ridiculously behind.
"Yeah, try explaining why you ditched me at the airport to my dad __." Was it just you or was Jungkook's voice even more annoying over the phone than in person? God you could strangle him right now. You suggested carpooling over well ahead of time to make it easy but no, his highness didn't want to.
"Listen __,"Jungkook continues. "I'm at security right now and I'm rushing as fast as I can. The line isn't too bad now so I'll be there in ten. I'm sure."
"Okay, but don't muck around too much. And make sure to take off your belt before you go through security."
"Yes mom."
"Don't ever call me that," you grit.
On the other end, Jungkook chuckles, relishing in your distaste. "What if I put a couple letters on the end though? You seem the type to be into momm—"
"Just get here!" You hang up instantly. What the hell was he on?
Twelve minutes pass and you're again checking your phone feverishly. Jungkook was supposed to be here by now but there hasn't been any sight of him. You're about to ring him up for the third time today when you feel a body brush against your arm.
"Sorry!" Jungkook leans on the handle of his suitcase, taking deep breaths. "There was...someone had a pocket knife in front of me and it held us up."
"Well if you had–" You pause realizing you really are starting to sound like a mom. So much so that you're making your own skin crawl. You recall Eun-ji's wise words a couple days ago. 'Stop complaining __, it'll cause wrinkles.'
'"It's alright," you mutter. "At least you're here."
"Really? That's it? Thought you were gonna scold me again. 'Jungkook you friggin' embarrassment, I told you to leave early so we'd be here on time. You're lucky I don't send you back to your dad and doom your future right now'."
Oh fuck no. He did not just try imitating you and in such a horrid voice too.
"That's not how I sound and you know it."
Jungkook snorts at your sour face. He isn't trying to be a thorn in the side but he's also not about to let you keep your stiff exterior. Being a CEO's son showed him the true price of being an uptight businessman and it isn't in his interest to let another person, especially his age, live life not knowing how to relax and what was that phrase...smell the roses?
"C'mon sunshine, I'm just kidding around," he says. "Also, glass half full, I did make it here before the plane took off. First day on the job and I'm already killing it."
"How about I make you my assistant instead of a partner," you bite. "And you only talk when spoken to?"
"You wouldn't."
Line finally starting to move you tighten the grip on your luggage and move with the crowd. You tilt your head to the side and flash Jungkook a tight lipped smile that said, 'try it bitch'.
"You're cruel you know that?" Jungkook grabs his own luggage and follows your lead.
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Stunning. Immaculate. Expensive.
The list goes on as you and Jungkook walk through the golden doors of White Lotus. Everywhere you look, masterpieces from the great masters hang from the walls and cover the ceiling. You notice the same gold on the door is used as trim for the ceiling as decorative accents mount its corners. Dangling above is a giant glass chandelier, while below you are beige marble floors.
Taehyung certainly doesn't skimp, does he...
"Welcome to White Lotus," the receptionist says. "Do you have a reservation?"
Blinking yourself out of your daze, you walk up to the receptionist's desk. "Yes, we're here under the name Jeon." You usher Jungkook over who takes his ID out of his wallet. The receptionist scans both yours and his before sliding them back.
"Saengnim has been expecting you Ms. __," the woman says. "He's absolutely delighted you're here. Your rooms will be on the 29th floor, breakfast is 7am-10am, and wifi is inside." You're handed two key cards with a warm smile.
"Thank you, Hana," you say, reading the woman's name tag. "We're privileged to be in such a beautiful place."
"Isn't it?" Hana sweeps her eyes around the room with wonder. "Saengnim chooses each and every part of this hotel with immense detail. He wants every guest to be met with the best service and completely dazzled."
"It would seem so," you reply, following her trail. "This is by far, the most extravagant hotel I've ever stayed in. It's clear how it has earned an unbelievably positive reputation. Its creator loves it, cherishes it as his own."
Meeting your eyes again, Hana retains her warm smile. "I'm glad you see it too. It's true Saengnim has poured his heart and soul into White Lotus. Guests from all over the world have come just to see what Saengnim designed. And sometimes, they even get to meet him." Hana suddenly pauses, a hint of shyness creeping up on her cheeks. "Forgive me, I don't mean to keep you. I should let you both rest."
"No, please don't apologize," you urge. "It's great to see such admiration." Evidently, Kim Taheyung isn't the only one who has been dedicated to White Lotus. You and Jungkook bid Hana good night for the evening then follow the bellhop to the elevator.
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"So tomorrow, remember, let me handle Kim."
"Okay yeah, I gotcha." Jungkook grazes the blackout curtains with the tips of his fingers. He peaks out the window next, taking in the breathtaking view of Seoul at night.
"Are you even listening to me?"
The man turns around, flinging his arms in the air. "Honestly, not really. Look at this room __. It's fucking huge!"
"I know, it's so ethereal. But I need you to concentrate for a second. Our meeting starts tomorrow and I need us to be on the same page. Technically, we'll be touring the hotel with Kim and whatnot so nothing's getting signed, but still. We can't be underprepared."
"I will talk as little as possible. I give you my word."
"Good." You give a slight nod and hoist your suitcase on the bed. "By the way, did you find out anything about Kim's background?"
"Uh shit–knew I forgot something. I'm going to read up about him right now!" In a mad hurry, Jungkook heads for his room.
"Wait, before you go–"
Dammit. You'll just text him.
__: Don't forget we meet Kim at 9 a.m. [sent at 9:56pm]
Jungkook: I'll be up at 6 a.m. Gotta scope out Kim's gym while I'm here. Bet it's loaded with the best equipment. You should join me! [sent at 9:58pm]
__: Mm, thanks but no thanks. [sent at 10:00pm]
Jungkook: Suit yourself. See ya in the morning!! [sent at 10:03pm]
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Alright __, you've showered, gone over your notes, hell you even practiced a few lines in front of the bathroom mirror. It's time to sleep. Lazily, you flop yourself on the bed, starfish and all. You feel your eyelids closing, pulling you into dreamland until a cool breeze tickles your bare thighs.
"Ugh", you groan.
You forgot you were still in your robe. Would it be horrible to just sleep naked tonight? Sitting upright you fiddle with the knot of the silk material. Not a bad idea, __. You start loosening the knot before shaking the robe off your shoulders. You let out a–
"__!" Without warning the joint door between you and Jungkook thrusts open. Your partner bursts through your room, eyes shifting into a bugged-out expression when he sees your nearly bare state.
"Oh my god, Jungkook! You can't just come in like that, fuck!" Panicked, you wrap the material back around your chest, clinging it tight against your breasts. "Go back, go back until I say come in!"
Stunned look on his face, Jungkook retreats to his room. He ends up bumping into the doorframe clumsily before slamming the door shut. "I'm so sorry __! Shit, I didn't mean to walk in on you or anything. It's...I came in because something happened. Fuck, I swear I didn't see anything. It was like a blur."
Shutupshutupshutup
You quickly retie the straps of your robe, mentally calming yourself. "Jungkook if you have any respect for me, please forget this. And for the love of might, don't tell anyone!"
"No, of course not! I-I've forgotten already." On the other side of the door, Jungkook curses himself. 'Are you a fucking idiot or something? Just walking into her room like that this late at night.' He paces in a small circle, fists clenched. "Okay, breathe. It's just tits. Tits Jungkook, you've seen–fuck!'
Why? Why did he have to be here?! From Jungkook almost missing this morning's flight to being overwhelmingly underprepared for tomorrow's meeting and now walking in on you, tits out and all, Jungkook is easily the worst partner you've had! No wonder you prefer working alone.
"Uhm, something..." You clear your throat. "Something happened you said?" You brace yourself for whatever chaos Jungkook's brought this time.
Jungkook is slow to form a reply but in a near whisper, he says, "I think I just met Taehyung. Actually, I know I met him. Yeah 'cause, I shook his hand...right before I spilled ice over his perfectly shined loafers. Gucci. Please don't send me back to my dad!"
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A/N: Thanks for stopping by! As always, lmk your thoughts. See ya! 💞
Masterlist
© kookslastbutton
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ffb6c1lover · 5 months
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The Madrigals and Anxiety
so, I think it's not a controversial statement to say that anxiety runs in the family... what I find oddly cute is that a lot of nervous ticks or outbursts are very similar to those of other family members, but let's proceed with order.
Alma, Isabela
Alma had it hard. I think homegirl is the culprit, but she probably had an anxious gene in her before everything.
do we need to explain what her anxiety looks like? absolute perfectionism to the point of insanity so people won't turn on her, constantly making Bruno check the future for possible dangers, self-soothing behaviours (asking Pedro for help, wearing the mourning shawl), always needing to keep a watchful eye on everyone, you name it.
The perfectionism moved straight through to Isabela. There's a whole song about not meeting expectations, so I don't think I need to go fruther into it.
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Pepa
Pepa is another obvious one. Her anxiety is palpable throughout most of the movie and it is, unlike her mum, mostly related to things that are not life-or-death situations (Antonio's party needing to be perfect).
She is constantly seen spiralling and using self-soothing rituals (hair touching, "clear skies"), often to no avail.
Her mood swings and irritability outbursts are also proof of anxiety.
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Bruno
Before you come at me!! He clearly has OCD... It's in the script so it was meant like this. And I know people say he was just superstitious, but I come from a very superstitious culture and it's not like that 😭
I can prove it!!
Throwing salt. It is usually done after you have spilled it. Bruno had not spilled any salt before the throwing over the shoulder. It is an act that is meant to cancel bad luck from an extremely specific action that he had not done.
Knock knock knock knock knock knock on wood. You are supposed to knock twice, say it once, only after someone has said something good you don't wanna jinx or bad you wanna prevent. Bruno hasn't been talking to anyone in 10 years, it's just a ritual to him at this point OR it's a reaction to his own thoughts. Superstitious people don't do things based on their thoughts: that's OCD. Also the number of knocks and the one on the head is oddly specific and not related to any superstitious beliefs as far as I'm aware.
Fingers crossed. Again, you do that when you are hoping for something good, but nothing happened he might want to cross his fingers for, it's just another ritual. Also, all of these rituals are kind of contradicting each other (hoping for something/trying to prevent something), he's just trying to bring as much good luck as possible.
I'm not saying he is not superstitious, he very much is, but his superstition pathologized to the point of becoming an illness. This is not how someone who's simply superstitious acts.
He also has a generally nervous attitude and lots of self-soothing movements, like the rubbing his arm we'll get to later.
The only other explanation could be that he thinks he is the bad luck, but that still does not explain things like the crossed fingers.
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Julieta, Camilo, Mirabel
They don't look like they struggle a lot with anxiety (I am only talking about the actual condition, not genuine worry that has a reason of being like Casita breaking or not receiving a gift). They are all very accustomed to dealing with anxious family members though and they are good at it.
Mirabel is probably the more anxious among the three, but she is also an incredible supporter for Toñito, who's not getting his own section simply because his fear was very much justified, but for a literal 5yo his anxiety shows great promise of becoming just like his mum's.
Honourable mention in this section goes to Félix and Agustìn, we stan some supportive husbands and fathers.
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Luisa
My baby. The first time we see her as being relevant plot-wise is literally because her eye was twitching. Her character arc is learning to chill. I rest my case.
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Dolores
Now, Dolores is a bit trickier, because she is not as loud as the rest of her family. She does always seem to be extremely on edge though and she is often doubting herself (she stopped believing someone was in the walls despite hearing Bruno for 10+ years because they told her it was not possible).
I don't know whether it's canon or if I've read too much fanfiction, but her room is supposed to have some degree of soundproofing, that she doesn't use because she needs to hear if her family needs help (Luisa's eye twitch).
Finally...
The similar twitches and anxious responses
The arm-rub of Luisa and Bruno (+ supportive sisters <3<3<3<3<3)
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The hand movement while screaming, like mother like daughter
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girlylukehughes · 9 months
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Heartbreak Girl
Mark Estapa x OC!
word count: 1093
Based on Heartbreak Girl by 5 Second if summer!
a/n: requests are open!!!
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Being in love with your best friend is difficult, even more difficult when she has a douchebag for a boyfriend. Mars Connor has been bestfriends with Mark Estapa since second grade when she punched a kid for kicking him off the swings, and Mark has been in love with her ever since. When they both got accepted to UMich they were ecstatic, being able to see each other at least twice a week instead of having to wait for months. Well that was until Mars started dating a guy from the football team, Simon, their sophomore year. On the outside Mars and Simon looked like a happy picture perfect couple, but all the heartbreaking calls Mark received from Mars, at least twice a month, saying they broke up and got back together again told the truth. So when Mars and Simon had finally called it quits for good a week ago, Mark felt a weight lift off his chest.
It was a little past 11pm when Mark's phone started buzzing beside him in bed, rolling over groggy from sleep, he didn't check who was calling and just answered. “Hello?” His voice rough and barely above a whisper, but the minute he heard the sniffle from the other end he shot up in his bed. “Sorry did I wake you up?” Mars hiccuped. “Don't worry about it, Mars, what's wrong?” The line was silent for a moment before she left out a sob, his heart breaking even further. “He's already with someone else.” Her sobs growing stronger. “When does it stop? When does my heart stop hurting? Did it ever actually mean anything to him?” Clenching his fists Mark responded, “Of course it meant something to him,” liar, “ You were together for what, like seven months? It had to have meant something to him.” Mark knew this probably wasn't the truth, but he'd do anything to make her feel like her world wasn't completely crumbling. “Could you- could you maybe come over?” He could feel time stop, “I really don't want to be alone right now.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Mark was silent, no answer coming from him for a good minute. “It's ok I mean you don't have to- I'm sorry I'll let you go back to sleep.” She rushed out, feeling bad for even asking. “I'll be there in five.” And with that Mark was hopping out of bed before putting a shirt on and grabbing his keys. “Hey Mark?” Mars asked, “Yeah Mars?” “Thanks for being my best friend.” Mark felt his heart crack, reminding him where they stood. “Always.” That night Mark held Mars close, not knowing if he'd ever get to do it again.
A month later, Mars was still heartbroken and Mark was telling her what she wanted to hear. He was still telling her that Simon had to have actually loved her, that he was just going through a phase and they'd be back together soon. He wanted to scream. Scream out that she should be with him, because Simon treated her like shit and he treats her like she put the sun in the sky, but he bit his tongue, not wanting to upset her further. He's still stuck so far in the friend zone and he doesn't think he'll ever get out.
The next week Mars was no longer upset, no Mars was pissed. “I regret ever meeting him.” She scoffs as her and Mark walk out of the campus diner. While they were getting lunch Simon had shown up with the one girl he constantly told Mars she didn't have to worry about, clearly she did because here they were in a booth two tables away making out. “He was a piece of shit, I don't know what I ever saw in him.” Mark was so close to confessing to her, but ultimately kept his mouth shut. He was just going to have to get it through her head that she belongs with him. For the next month and a half he did everything in his power to show her his feelings without actually saying the words, but Mars was still oblivious, still hung up on Simon. Mark was frustrated, and it showed in the way he was acting. “Is everything okay between us?” Mars asked. “It's fine.” Mark’s voice was gruff, frustration showing. “Are you sure? You've been acting weird all week, did I do something wrong?” Mark stopped walking in front of her, running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath in. “Everything's fine Mars just please drop it. You didn't do anything.” Mars wasn't taking this answer though, instead she kept pushing. “Stop lying, something's clearly wrong, why won't you tell me!” She yelled. “Jesus Mars when are you gonna realize!” He yelled back. “Realize what Mark! I can't read your mind!” “That I’m right here!” Now she was really confused. “What the hell do you mean?” They were having a full on argument in the middle of the courtyard and they didn't even care. “That I’m in love with you! That I've been in love with you since we were kids! That i've always been right here to pick up the pieces of your heart and glue it back together! You don't even-” He was shut up and Mars grabbed his face and put her lips on his. Mark froze in shock, his eyes widening for a moment before he relaxed into her. The kiss was soft and sweet, but over way too quickly for Mark's liking, his lips chasing hers as she smiles and tears her forehead on his. “You should have told me,” She whispers, “ I've always loved you Mark. Why else do you think I punched that kid in second grade?” she was giggling and Mark's face lit up. Brushing the stray pieces of her ginger hair out of her face he pulled her in for another kiss. “Does this mean I can finally call you my girlfriend?” She waits for a moment before a sly smirk crosses her face, “I don't know, does it?” Mark lets out a groan, “Come on Mars, I've waited 12 years please don't make me wait any longer” “Yes Mark, I'm yours.”
markestapa just posted!
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markestapa: heartbreak girl is finally mine
tagged: planetmars
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planetmars: yours forever
—markestapa: and for always
——planetmars: are you quoting taylor swift?
———markestapa: i plead the fifth
edwards.73: finally now he'll shut the hell up
—markestapa: shut it
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ange1princess · 2 years
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✧ Itadori, megumi and sukuna, I'll write nanami, gojo and toji in the next one of you guys like this
Summary❕Saying I wish I didn't love you to them during a fight
CW❕None, just all angst no comfort
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❕ITADORI
- It had been a long night, it was rare for the two of you to fight, especially this intensely, but all your building emotions come crashing down when he comes back home late from another mission. You'd been worried sick that he was hurt, or had met a worse fate.
- It seemed to be the last straw that broke the camels back as you couldn't help but cry, and instead of comforting you, yuuji couldn't hold back either, harsh words being thrown at you as the ache in his body grew louder, as the adrenaline slipped away.
- "I'm trying! Can't you see I'm fucking trying and doing everything I can," his voice wavered as he let out an unconvincing cough to hide the crack in his voice. His eyes were red from the lack of sleep, he'd been so busy these days, it seemed like he cared neither for you not for himself.
- "You know I mean the best for you, I want the best for you, I'm trying too, but it seems like it's never enough, some days I wish I didn't love you at all," it came out in a hushed whisper, you didn't mean for him to hear it, but in the silence of your four walls, the sound of almost everything seemed to be amplified.
- Yuuji was speechless, all the anger from his body seemed to drain, leaving behind only traces of fatigue. "I... Didn't know that's how you felt," was all he could muster up before turning towards the door.
- "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, you know I didn't," you tried pleading with him to which he gave a tired smile, "It's okay even if you did, it just means you're still trying, maybe even more than I am... I just need to be alone for a while," he said, he looked you in the eye for the first time since the start of your fight.
- You understand, and the guilt that claws at the pit of your stomach makes you choke on a sob as you see him leave. You know he'll come back, he knows you didn't mean it, he has to.
- So you did what you've been doing for nights now, you go back to an empty bed, missing your beloveds warmth as it feels colder than ever tonight.
❕MEGUMI
- The fight had been going on for hours at this point. Your voice came out hoarse as you tried again to put forth what you're trying to say, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to, he doesn't have to risk his life every day, he doesn't have to feel indebted, he doesn't have to leave you alone constantly, protecting everyone but himself.
- "Do you hear yourself? You're being selfish and you know it, you know why I do this, you know I have to." He seems worn out from the long fight too, but the cutting edge of his words push you over the edge.
- "No do YOU hear YOURSELF, you think it's selfish? You think I'm being selfish by thinking about your well-being? How do you think it feels everyday you leave not knowing if you'll come back?" You've been trying to reason with him for so long but his stubborn nature is making him stand his ground the more you try to push him.
- "You and your fucking nagging, some days I wish I didn't love you at all," his head was in his hands as he was hunched over on the couch, contempt laced his words, or so you felt when they reached you. It took you a second to process them, but as soon as you did, you feel something break in you.
- The both of your eyes widen simultaneously, he looks up, he'd about to walk towards you, but you stop him, a hand raised as you back away. "Fuck I'm so sorry, that's not what I meant, I just- I, fuck please look at me," his voice has an urgency it hasn't had since the time he asked you to go out with him. That was years ago.
- "I... I think I'll go over to Nobaras for tonight," is all you can say as you go to your room to get yourself a small bag for the night. You can hear his footsteps follow you in, but they're hesitant, stopping, pacing, speeding up, slowing down, just trying to gauge your reaction, but you don't give him any, feeling nothing at all.
- Deep down you know they're empty words, spit at you through the layers of anger and exhaustion that take away any meaning that could've been behind them, but that didn't make it hurt less. Hearing the man who oftentimes expressed his love and appreciation for you, showing his gratitude towards your relationship, towards your patience with him, no matter what, you never thought he'd ever think of loving you any less, even if it wasn't romantic.
❕SUKUNA
- Fights were frequent between the two of you, but usually it was over something pretty, or one of you trying to rile the other up till it leads to angry sex, but not today, today you were sick and tired of his constant need to control you and everything you do.
- "Somedays I wish I never loved you!" The words were loud and harsh, and as they left your mouth, Sukuna wasn't shaken, instead retorting, "At this point, I wish I never loved you EVERYDAY!" The two of you are seething with anger, as you see his jaw clench as your fingers leave light crescents on the pads of your palm.
- "Then why are you still here? Leave whenever you want," you didn't mean that, you liked having him around, maybe it wasn't the perfect or healthiest relationship, but then is any relationship the same? The two of you can grow together, and you want that, but you're so tired... and he can be so greedy, for you, your time, your energy... your devotion.
- "Is that what you want? What you really want?" He didn't even sound hurt when the words were uttered, it wasn't agony, it was fatigue. It was the weight of all the things he'd done and said, and all of the ones he hadn't that were wearing him out. He didn't want you to mean it, but he left regardless, to give you space.
- That night you were the one spamming him with texts and calls, asking him to come back as you fell asleep with no energy to even cry, the light of the phone shining even as your eyes shut close.
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coraniaid · 13 days
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I think there's something fascinating about the evolution of Darla as a character in the Buffyverse.
It's very common in the Buffy fandom to talk about the show almost as if it were fully planned out from the beginning or somehow emerged fully-formed one day in its entirety.  To analyze Season 1 episodes as if the writers had already decided on the Heart/Mind/Spirit symbolism of the core Scooby Gang; to act as though a Season 5 retcon means that Spike was really in love with Buffy as early as Season 3's Lovers Walk; to suggest the constant changes in how the show deals with soul lore or vampires as a metaphor must mean that Giles and the Council were 'really' lying or ignorant in the first few seasons; to wonder what the Watchers Council introduced in Season 3 were doing in the show's first two seasons; to insist you can't really understand Season 1 until you've finished Season 7.
And, look, I totally get the temptation to do that sort of thing.  It's unavoidable if you want to talk about the universe of the show as a real thing in its own right, or try to write fanfiction that takes every season seriously.  It can be a useful and interesting way of thinking about the show.  I've done it myself and will no doubt keep doing it.
But at the same time, it's very misleading if you want to think about the show as a constructed work of collaborative art: as a piece of fiction in constant conversation with itself, shaped and reshaped again and again over years by a team of different people.  Which, to be clear, is what it actually is.
The real show is almost a piece of improv or some sort of conjuring act, with the writers and actors constantly juggling with new ideas and twists without any time to worry about how exactly everything fits together. With some episodes reportedly being written in only a handful of days and lore being continually changed and ignored as fits the current demands of the plot.  Questions like "how does soul lore really work?" or "after Prophecy Girl who is the real Slayer anyway?" ultimately can't be answered, because there simply is no single truth to uncover.  It depends entirely on the current episode.
And I think the ever-changing character of Darla provides the best illustration of that reality.
In the original unaired pilot, Julie Benz plays an unnamed vampire who is nonetheless pretty easy to identify with the Darla we'll see in the show proper.  She has no links to Angel or Luke or the Master, because none of these characters even exist yet.  Just like in Welcome to the Hellmouth, she lures an unsuspecting victim into the high school after dark before vamping out and killing him, but by the end of the episode she is dead: gruesomely dispatched (or as gruesomely as the pilot's limited special effects budget allowed) after Willow douses her with holy water.
The two parter Welcome to the Hellmouth / The Harvest expands on her role slightly.  She has a name now, for one thing. She works for the Master, too, but she doesn't at all seem to be his favorite (she's very much subordinate to Luke in both these episodes), and there's no suggestion that she has any special connection to Angel.  (Unsurprisingly, as the show's writers hadn't even decided to make Angel a vampire at this point.)  And her ultimate fate at the end of this two-parter is unclear: just as in the pilot, Willow soaks her with holy water, and then she's ... gone?  Nobody mentions her again, she's not in scenes with the Master in later episodes which logically she should be. I'm pretty sure that, just like in the pilot, we're meant to assume she's dead.
But then Darla gets her first big break.  Angel is, it turns out, a vampire, and he needs some backstory to match.  Julie Benz obviously made a decent enough impression in the first couple of episodes, and nothing she did or said quite ruled her out as Angel's sire, and we never quite see her die. So suddenly she's back,  now the Master's favorite vampire, attacking Buffy's mother in her own home and sowing the seeds of mistrust between Buffy and Angel and ... oh, she's dead again.  Bummer.
Except then in Season 2 Angel's role expands again -- he's not just Buffy's intermittently seen vampire boyfriend anymore, he's the focus of the whole season and he's going to appear in all but one episode.  Of course, he's going to need more backstory (and we're all going to be treated to David Boreanaz's best Irish accent) so ... once again Darla rises from the ashes, albeit this time only in flashbacks.  And the Darla we see in Becoming's flashbacks is once again an evolution of the character we last saw in Season 1's  Angel.  More confident, more complex.  A character that it is honestly difficult to reconcile with the take on the character we saw last season, especially the one we swa in the show's first two episodes.
Anyway, Angel gets sent to hell in Season 2, but not before managing to (somehow) act his way into his own spin-off series.  And yes, that means more flashbacks, and more Darla, and more retcons about the precise nature of her relationship with the Master, but ultimately it means the writers decide to bring Darla back from the dead at the end of the spin-off's first season (for, depending on exactly you count it, arguably the fourth time, though only the first in-universe).  And this iteration of Darla -- both the human Darla we see in the beginning of Angel's second season, and the vampire she becomes again later that season -- is arguably the closest thing there is to a definitive take on the character.  This is the Darla people mean when they talk about her on the show.  Not the mid-level vampire of Welcome to the Hellmouth or the essentially single episode villain of Season 1's Angel, but the real deal.  Darla at her most complicated and rich and alive, a Darla whose history is hopelessly entangled with that of her on-again, off-again lover Angel, a character who provides the driving force for the spin-off show's greatest season.  A character who is, I think, one of the most  interesting to ever appear on that show.
Then the last few episodes of Season 2 completely drop Darla and all trace of the arc she introduced. When she reappears next season (in just a handful of episodes) it's so that her character can be written out of the show via mystical and impossible-by-the show's-previous-rules pregnancy in order for men to feel sad about it (but not for very long), and afterwards everything generally goes to shit.
But then, that tells you quite a lot about the Buffyverse and its creators as well.
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rocknrollsalad · 6 months
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STWG Daily Prompt (Nov 16) - Baby
🍼 pairing(s): clarkson
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👨‍🍼 Eddie wakes up to find a guest in his house he's not too sure about
👶 content/trigger warnings: vomit, babies
🚼 word count: 816
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“Baby.” Eddie squished the letters into one barely understood sound as he stood in the kitchen of his trailer. Seconds ago his biggest problem was trying to decide if this was fresh morning sun or end of the day sun. “Ahhh. BABY!” 
With Eddie in the kitchen was Scott, an increasingly common sight, and Wayne cradling a baby, a bottle in the other hand. That was not a common sight. In fact, Eddie couldn’t think of a single time he’d seen it. While he knew better, very little about Wayne screamed the sort of man one should let hold small children. 
Anyone who had known him for more than a conversation knew that gruff was just silent and he wasn’t grumpy, he was somehow constantly tired. Wayne was the exact person one should let watch their children. Eddie himself was proof of that. 
That being said, Eddie hadn’t made Wayne a grandpa, and, god forbid, this was some new cousin or something. Eddie wasn’t going to share the spotlight. He hadn’t spent years training Wayne for some new little punk to reap all the benefits. 
“Astute,” Scott said with undeserved sarcasm. Especially for whatever hour this was. 
The comment earned him a look from Wayne but Eddie could almost swear it was pride when it should have been a biting warning not to mock the weak in their confused state. Eddie narrowly stopped himself from asking Wayne how he even knew what astute meant but common sense kicked in in the nick of time.
“She’s Scott’s niece,” Wayne offered in true Wayne Munson style. Smug in the words like his answer didn’t bring up dozens more questions. 
As Wayne slowly swayed where he stood, Scott watched on from a respectable distance. “My sister dropped her off and said if she didn’t get some sleep soon, she’d no longer be responsible for her actions.” 
“O-kaaaay but why is she here?” Eddie asked, daring to inch into the kitchen and try for a cup of coffee. A suspicious eye on the baby with each step. 
“Because someone doesn’t have a clue what to do and brought this poor thing over starving and in a dirty diaper,” Wayne said in the happiest, singsong voice Eddie had ever heard. He wasn’t talking to Eddie but explaining things to the baby knowing Eddie could hear. 
Coffee pot in hand, Eddie spins to look at Scott. “You work with kids, man.” 
“They aren’t babies!” he said, throwing his hands up and almost drowning out Wayne’s laugh. 
“I mean, are you sure there?” Eddie laughed, elbowing his uncle and trying to commiserate with him. Something met with stone-faced silence that had Eddie turning to the cupboard with mugs. 
“I’m not saying they’re adults or capable of logical thinking but there isn’t a soft spot on their head and to some extent, they are able to use the facilities without assistance,” Scott offered. 
“I can’t believe someone would be this scared of ya,” Wayne said, putting the bottle on the counter. 
“For the millionth time, I’m not scared of her, I'm worried I’ll hurt her or cause some other sort of irreparable damage. She’s fragile and my sister’s first kid. My first niece.” 
Wayne draped a kitchen towel over Eddie’s shoulder and then snagged the mug from his hand before he could add anything to it. There was a weak protest but Eddie knew the deaf ears it was falling on. Once that had passed, Wayne shifted Scott’s niece and passed her over to Eddie. 
All at once, Scott’s fears made sense. This was something fragile. Life someone else who didn’t even know Eddie existed had created and likely wanted to spend many, many years with. With the posture of a new recruit, all of Eddie’s muscles tensed as he got used to the weight against his chest. 
“Just rub her back and, I don’t know, relax? Y’don’t look comfortable, kid, and despite what Scott says, she isn’t gonna break.” 
“I don’t know why I came here,” Scott sighed. 
“Who else were you gonna ask?” Wayne laughed again and did something even more shocking than stand around holding a random baby. With his hand on Scott’s shoulder, Wayne leaned in and gave Scott a quick kiss. 
The shoulder touch was almost more contact than Eddie had seen them share, a kiss might as well have been watching them…God, he couldn’t even finish that thought. As if thinking the same as Eddie, the little powder scented bundle in his arms let out a burp that would make anyone blush, and with it she covered most of the towel draped down Eddie’s shoulder with spit up. 
“I’m out, nope. No way, man. This is not for me,” Eddie said. Getting both hands under her little armpits, arms stretched out as far as they could, and moving toward Wayne. 
“Grow up, the both of ya,” Wayne said, shaking his head as he moved around a heaving Scott. 
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gabessquishytum · 4 months
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It's been a bit but I have another potentially juicy idea!!
Hob is a wrestler who has spent the better part of five years trying to make the big leagues. He's travelled all around the world, meeting friends and making kayfabe enemies. Things seemed to be going his way when he finally got a call from Dynamic Combat, the biggest wrestling company in the world. He's thrilled, he's excited.
He ends up breaking his neck due to a botched suplex. He's out for the foreseeable future. He tries to get back into the saddle again, but it's just not there. He needs time to recover.
After the third month of being stuck at home, he gets released from his contract, having never even wrestled his second match. Which is disheartening. All this time to try and make it, only to fail constantly. Again and again he tries and tries to make back to the top of the ladder. Everytime he fails. His friends fail to get him his old contract back. The company just isn't interested.
Fuck it, he's Hob Gadling. There's always tomorrow, there's always something new to see. This was a big setback, but he'll just have to try again. He'll keep trying and trying until he finally headlines the Garden with the biggest company in the business.
Dream by contrast is under contract with Vertigo, a smaller Japanese promotion. He had his chance to wrestle for DCW, but they didn't like the creative control baked into his contract and he certainly wasn't about to let himself be used for money if it meant the stories he wanted to tell got pushed on the backburner. He's an artist after all.
But not taking DCW's offer didn't mean that he didn't still keep his eye out for talent. He heard about Hob and had the chance to work with him years ago, so he extended the offer. It wouldn't be great billing until he firmly established himself, but he would get to tell the stories he wanted to tell. Plus the money would be good.
Hob of course books the next flight out to Tokyo.
🎸
Ooh this is fun!! I'm willing to admit that my wrestling knowledge is limited to the movie Fighting with My Family but i actually really love the idea of Hob as a wrestler. I think he'd enjoy the storytelling aspect and really shaping his character. He was really worried when he got his injury and it felt like all his worst fears were coming true - being let go from his contract and all that jazz. But he's going to keep trying. When Dream reaches out to him with an opportunity, he basically packs up his entire life in half an hour. Just when he was starting to worry that he might never make his dreams come true, a literal Dream walks into his life.
Dream is mildly terrifying, extremely particular in what he wants, utterly confounding, and definitely a creative genius. Hob falls in love so quickly, just watching as Dream leads a meeting with some of the other talent, his hands moving erratically as he talks about the stories they are going to tell. How can Hob not love all of that passion? And when he sees Dream in the gym later Hob feels absolutely dizzy. He's never put much stock in the idea of beauty, but apparently Dream is changing him. He can't stop looking.
Hob struggles with the remainders of his injuries during his first few months. He's only given small opportunities and he's constantly under Dream’s watchful eye. When Hob gets frustrated with the simplicity of what he's been given, Dream will look at him with a raised dom eyebrow. It's just like being pinned to the floor. Hob spends every night spread out on his bed, biting his lip hard enough to bleed and gripping his cock in his fist.
He can feel Dream watching him when he finally gets to do his first big match in Japan. He gives the performance of his lifetime, wins in a way that makes the whole arena go crazy. He's not looking at them, though. He's looking at Dream, and the tiny smile at the corner of his mouth.
That night, for the first time, it's Dream’s fist wrapping around his cock, four fingers in his arse. Its better than top billing, better than millions in prize money. Dream is going to shape him into the best wrestler the world has seen. And maybe, if he's good enough... Dream will even join him in the ring.
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For you, I would do anything (Kelley O'Hara x Reader)
Little valentines fic for you all :) First time writing for Kelley! Hope you enjoy
Words: 2.2K
Over the years I had noticed Kelley getting less and less excited about valentines day. When we first started dating 5 years ago, she was super excited about it and I had to break it to her that I didn't actually celebrate valentines day. I despised it. Why did I need one day to spoil her when I did it constantly throughout the year. She was understandably disappointed and I hated it so we had compromised on doing something small. For the first 2 years of our relationship we were never together on valentines day so I got away with sending her flowers and a nice letter. The 2 years after that I just cooked her dinner and got her flowers or a necklace or something similar. I always felt a little bit guilty though because I knew she loved it. Deep down I was worried that Kelley would start to resent me for not liking it, for not celebrating it the way she wanted to. 
As we walked around town, looking around shops that were all decorated for valentines day, I noticed how Kelley would frown briefly before covering it up. I promised myself then that I was going to spoil the shit out of her this year. I had just opened my own Auto body and mechanical shop so I didn't have a lot of money these days. Ever since I was a kid, I would spend hours working on cars with my dad. Ranging from fixing them to body work. I fell in love with it and worked for years to be able to open a shop that incorporated both aspects. Despite that, I was determined to spoil her.
Kelley was going away for the week leading up to valentines day and wasn't coming back until the 15th. It gave me plenty of time to put my plan into action. I had been planning on proposing to her for a while now, but I couldn't afford to get her the ring she deserves yet. I knew I could probably get her a cheap $50 one and she wouldn't care, but Kelley deserved better. I had seen a couple of videos where people had made their own rings out of hex nuts or by welding them from scratch. It didn't look too hard so I thought about maybe doing that instead. I just hoped it would be good enough for her. 
I tried to enjoy the time with Kelley before she went away, but my mind was working over time trying to plan how to make this the best valentines day. Kelley stopped suddenly, pulling me back with our joined hands and pecking my lips quickly. "You okay baby?"
"I'm fine, why?"
"You just seem quieter than usual."
"It's just been a long couple of days and you're leaving me."
Kelley laughed, pecking my lips, "I know it's hard work, but I'm so proud of you, you're doing amazing. I'm only gone for a week. It'll fly by."
"Let's get out of here, you need to finish packing and I need cuddles before you leave."
Kelley went straight to packing when we got home while I got lost in research about making rings out of a hex nuts. I wanted to get it right so if that meant watching countless videos and spending hours making it then that's what I would do. I don't know how long had passed when Kelley closed my laptop, moving it to the coffee table. She was only wearing underwear and one of my t-shirts, "You've been longer then 10 minutes."
"Sorry baby, I got caught up. Are you all packed?"
She straddled my lap, pecking my lips, "You work too hard. I'm all done."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise for working hard on something you love. Is it cuddle time?"
My hands ran up her thighs as I placed light kisses along her jaw, a quite moan slipping from her lips, "I have a better idea." 
---
I always hated when Kelley was gone, but this time I was at least a bit glad about it. It meant I didn't have to sneak around or make excuses for staying out late while I planned the perfect valentines day. I still didn't understand it or even like it, but for Kelley I was willing to do anything. 
For the next week I spent most of my time at my shop working on the ring as well as a welded flower made from different types of nuts. She had seen a video where someone had made something similar and joked that if I made her one then she would love me forever. So I decided to actually do it. I also spent most of the week anxious and filled with worry that it wouldn't be enough for her. I wanted to do more, I wanted to spoil her and buy her something amazing that she deserved, but I just couldn't afford it this year. I knew deep down that whatever I did for Kelley, she would love it. She always said that it wasn't about the money, that the important thing was the thought behind it. I tried to keep that in mind. 
It took a lot of work, but I managed to turn the nut into a perfectly round and shiny ring. I didn't want it to just be plain so with the help of one of my friends I got a feather engraved on the top and 'You swept me off my feet' engraved inside. The feather represented how we first met. Kelley and I had met when she crashed into me with her bike while trying to avoid a bird on the path. I ended up with a fractured wrist and nasty cut on my forehead. Despite that, I still found her oddly charming and very attractive. So when she asked me to dinner as an apology, I accepted. It was the best decision I'd ever made. Even if she always jokes that she swept me off my feet the second we met. That was the reason for the engraving inside. 
Kelley was due to land in just over an hour and I was rushing around getting everything set up before I had to go pick her up. I had spread LED candles and flowers across the room, set the table with a heart patterned table cloth, some real candles and a heart shaped box of chocolates. I had prepared her favourite food and some chocolate covered strawberries. Once everything was set up, I rushed out to pick her up. The hardest part was not to telling her about it when she asked how my week was. I normally told Kelley everything. It was easier not to when she wasn't here in person, when I didn't feel her hand in mine or lips on mine. It was hard, but I managed to change the topic to stop myself from spilling everything. 
The plan was to have Kelley go in first, which wouldn't work if she managed to get her bags like she was about to. I quickly ran around the car, taking the bags from her hands, much to Kelley's confusion, "I got your bags."
"I ca-"
"I know you can get them yourself, doesn't mean I'm going to let you. Now open the door."
Kelley gasped, freezing in place when she made it inside. After a few seconds, she turned to face me, eyes glistening with unshed tears. I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her into me and kissing her temple, "Happy valentines day my love."
"Y-you did this?"
"Unless you have a secret girlfriend I don't know about, yes it was me."
Kelley laughed, kissing me softly before she turned serious, "I love this. You didn't have to do it though. I know you don't like valentines day."
"You're right, I don't really like the day, but you do Kel. I've watched you become less excited about it over the years and I hated it. I'm not going to let you lose your love for valentines day because of me. You deserve to be spoilt, you deserve to be showered with love from your girlfriend on a day you love. Seeing the way you lit up is well worth celebrating a day I don't like so get used to it."
"I love you, I love that you did this for me, but it's not fair to make you do something you don't like."
"And it's not fair to not do something you love. You're not making me do anything. Seeing you happy is all that matters to me Kel and if this does that then I'm going to do it."
She sighed, knowing I wasn't going to back down, "Why don't we compromise? Next year we just stick to what we have been doing and the year after we go all out. Then just keep to that rotation. That way we both get what we want."
"You're okay with that?"
"I am. Relationships are about compromise. I'm just looking forward to the day I get to spoil the shit out of you. I didn't get you anything this year though, I'm sorry." 
"Don't be, I don't need anything. Valentines is for me to spoil you, the one who actually likes it. Speaking of, can you stop arguing with me so we can get back to me spoiling you?"
I stepped away from Kelley, holding my arm out for her and guiding her to the table. I pulled her seat out, waiting for her to sit down before putting dinner on to finish cooking and lighting the candles. Kelley had a small smile as she watched me move around. Her eyes were almost sparkling with the happiness and love that filled them. It made me want to get down on one knee right then and there, but I had a plan that I wanted to stick to. Instead we talked about anything we could think of while joking and laughing. Even after being together for 5 years, we never ran out of things to talk about. Talking to her was easy, being with her was easy. We fought occasionally, ran into rough patches especially over how much Kelley was gone, but together we made it work. I couldn't wait to marry her, to spend the rest of my life with her by my side through whatever life threw at us. 
We had just finished dinner when Kelley squeezed my hand bringing me out of my thoughts, "What's on your mind baby?"
"Nothing, I'm just thinking about how much I love you."
"I love you too Y/n/n. Thank you for dinner, it was amazing."
I kissed the back of her hand, "You're welcome my love. There's chocolate covered strawberries as well."
Kelley laughed, reaching over the table to kiss me gently, "You really did every cliché valentines thing there is and I love it. The strawberries might have to wait because I'm stuffed."
"I know, that's why I did it. In that case, I have something for you."
I handed Kelley the wrapped flower. She unwrapped it slowly, wide smile appearing as she saw what it was. I felt myself relax slightly seeing her smile while I tried not to freak out about what comes next. "You actually made me one? This is awesome baby."
I pulled the black box out of my pocket, keeping it hidden as I moved to stand in front of her, "You said if I made you one then you would love me forever, so I did. I may have gone one step extra and made you a ring hoping that still stands." I opened the box, sinking down on one knee as Kelley covered her mouth, eyes sparkling with tears for the second time today, "Hoping that you'll let me love you, support you, protect you, make you laugh and smile for the rest of our lives, hoping you'll say yes when I ask if you'll marry me. So Kelley O'Hara, will you be by my side for the rest of our lives? Will you make me the happiest woman alive and marry me?"
"Yes, yes Y/n of course I will," Kelley pulled me up, wrapping her arms around me tightly as tears fell against my neck, "I love you so much."
My own tears made their way down my cheeks as I connected our lips then pulled away slightly, "I love you Kel. Can I put this on you now?"
Kelley connected our lips in a lingering kiss before holding her hand out. I slipped the perfectly sized ring on her finger, nerves skyrocketing as she examined it, "Did you say you made this?"
"Um yeah. I couldn't afford the nice ring you deserve so I made one. It's nothing special and I'll get you a-"
"Baby I love it. I love it so much. This means more to me than any fancy, expensive ring you could have gotten. I don't want a different one. I love this because you made it and that's more important then how much this costs. You engraved it with a feather?"
"Riley did it for me. I figure it represents how we first met. It's engraved inside as well."
Kelley slipped the ring off, laughing as she read what it said, "How the hell did I get lucky enough to get to marry you? I love you so fucking much Y/n. I can't wait to marry you."
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Hey! I'm just in love with your Gerard fanfics. could you make one based on "the archer"? I love the angst of your fics. fem!reader please 🥺
Love this prompt!- coming from someone with anxiety lol
Title: The Archer
Word count: 2,233 words Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader Warnings: Anxiety, stress, throwing up (does that count as a warning?)
The internal chemical cocktail of anxiety, perfectionism, and pleasing other people had taken you long ways in your life. You had been outrageously successful for your age, the internal voice always yelling at you to do better. It constantly made sure you never got more than a second of happiness with accomplishments so you would long for the drug of endless accomplishments more and more.
You kept venerability hidden deep in the crevices of your veins and far beyond where the eye could see. You made sure you weaknesses were targeted and bullied by yourself first before someone could jump on the wound and pour more salt. You had already done that yourself. You had constantly ensured things were done way ahead of time even if that meant jumping out of bed at 3 am in an anxiety spiraling and working until the sun came up. You didn’t want to be a workaholic, or obsess over your image, or worry about your success. It was just an inherent part of who you were as a person.
It should have never been shocking that this led to tumultuous relationships that seemed to sink under the thunderstorm of your mind when the inevitable harsh waves of self-destruction settled beneath the ship. It was like clockwork, the way that relationships wouldn’t last longer than a year when those deep dark parts of you made themselves known and snaked their way around their body to cover you in a their effortless black ink. The only people that ever stayed were the ones who were aware of your imperfections and deep flaws, and took you as you were not questioning your continuous habits that led to explosions.
You were on letter 46 now to Gerard explaining you wanted to break up. Not because you didn’t love him or because he had done anything wrong. It was quite the opposite, you just knew you were too much of a danger and a liability to be standing next to him and take him down with you when you fell. Your leg feverously bounced up and down to no particular rhythm as you attempted to formulate every feeling you had without outrightly telling him what they were. This would probably end up shredded in your trash can anyways, as the other 45 had.
“I want to let you in” was the last thing you were able to write, “But I can’t trust anyone in there.”
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You were in a funk, something that you usually found yourself in maybe once a month. The biggest problem with this funk, is it happened to fall on a date with Gerard. Not just any date, but your one year anniversary. It was clearly a celebration to anyone looking into the little house of a relationship you had built, but to you it was a funeral.
Your anxiety felt like it was up to your throat today, and you couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. But doing your makeup was the biggest pain in your ass right now, especially on try number 11 for eyeliner that kept coming off too blotchy. “Fuck!” You whisper yelled as you messed it up again, throwing the pen into the bathtub and aggressively scrubbing the already throbbing red skin with another makeup wipe as it stung with each rub.
You wanted to cry, but that would have made your mascara fuck up and then your entire face ruined. But looking at yourself in the mirror right now, all you noticed was the slight discoloration of all the things you did wrong today on your face. The pimple you tried to cover up with layers of concealer after a stress-induced break out. The ever so slightly different shades of blush since your brush stroked weren’t perfect on both sides.
There were only 20 minutes left until Gerard was here, and knowing him he would actually be a bit early. You decided to bail on the mascara and just try to fix your makeup without overdoing it or completely wiping it off. You would have to live with feeling out of place and self-conscious tonight, because at this point you didn’t have an option.
A subtle knock came on your door. You took a deep, strong breath in and out before putting your game face on, putting on the best fake smile you could (which was pretty damn believable) and grabbed your bag. You opened the door to a dressed up Gerard (a relatively rare occurrence) with a sly smile on his face and flowers in his hand. “Hey, sweetheart.” He opened up with as you forced yourself to smile wider.
“Hey, Gee.” You said back, letting him give you a small kiss on the lips. You took the flowers from his graciously, thanking him and putting them on your counter before leaving and closing the door behind you. The small typical formalities were exchanged, trying to start conversation, but you had always hated the question, “Are you alright?” Which of course he had to ask.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You smiled up at him although deep inside you were screaming you weren’t. “Just a long day, that’s all.” You were thankful he didn’t push more, but that always opened up the negative part of the entire thing, which was the sneaking intuition that he knew it was much more than “just a long day”. As you got into his car he quickly plugged in directions to get you to the restaurant, and as much as you wanted to talk and say something you found no motivation or driver in you to do so.
He seemed to respect that boundary, but within five minutes of the drive had quickly realized that going out to a fancy restaurant with lots of people was not a good idea. First it was your inability to look at him and just outside the window. Then your leg that began bouncing up and down shockingly fast. Finally it was fiddling with your finger tips and clearly being lost in your thoughts while doing so.
“Ya know, we don’t need to go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate this.” He began at a red light, you looked up at him for the first time the entire ride and for the first time since seeing you today, your eyes seemed to light up just a bit. “I mean, that’s so unlike us.” He further explained, “Why don’t we just like, go home, and order take out.” You nodded your head. “I mean, if it’s not a problem-““Not at all.” He softly smiled, ending the directions and turning the car around.
You were still a bit standoffish and generally distant throughout the night. It didn’t take a genius to realize your mind was running 100 miles a minute and it definitely didn’t take longer than a few minutes for Gerard to figure that out either. Especially with your favorite dish sitting in front of you as you forced small bites that you clearly did not enjoy. He hated to see you like this, and wondered why, but tried not to make a scene as you were clearly trying your best to act normal and not cause anything either.
You eventually stopped eating and sat there for a few moments as if trying to focus on something, “Baby?” He finally asked, realizing your face was shading over a bit pale and eyes wide, “What’s wrong?”
“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Was all you said, bolting up and speed walking to the bathroom with your mouth covered. He was close behind you, finally reaching the bathroom only to see you over the toilet seat and belching everything you had eaten that day out. He sighed, kneeling down beside you and holding your hair firmly in his hand, rubbing your back. When you were finally done, your body slouching against the wall and chest heaving, he ran his fingers through your hair to soothe you. As soon as you had calmed down a bit more, he brought a cool, wet towel to your face placing it against your forehead.
“Honey,” He said, giving you a kiss on the top of your head, “What’re you stressing about?” You huffed and closed your eyes knowing he would see right through you.
“How come you just- you’re too good at this.” You responded as he gave a sympathetic smile, “You’re not supposed to worry about my stress.”“I am supposed to worry about it when you’re throwing up your entire day, practically shaking, and your eyes are unable to focus on one thing.” He sighed, “Is it work? Friends? Family? I can try to help-““No, it’s none of that.” You explained with groan as your head got shot through with a rough ache. You took another moment to compose yourself. “It’s all of this.”“All of this?”“Yes, this.” You replied, “I’m being vulnerable and as soon as that happens the relationship starts dying.” He wanted to scoff at that but kept it to himself.
“Pretty sure the entire point of a relationship is to be with each other through good and bad.” He explained. “Baby, it may be easy to hide anxiety from other people, but you’re dating someone who also has anxiety. It doesn’t slide that easy.”“I’m supposed to be put together though,” You rebutted, “Like- shit always goes downhill from here.”“It’s not going to with me,” He assured, “If anything, I’m glad we’re talking through this so I can help you in the future.”“You sound like my parents,” You rolled your eyes which he smiled at, “Or like a therapist. Maybe both.”
“Baby, just tell me what’s on your mind.” He pleaded, “Please?” You took a small sigh, collecting yourself for the continuous waterworks of emotions that were bound to start erupting as soon as you began your explanation.
“Just- a lot is happening right now in life and on top of the amount of worry I already have I’m worried this is going to end. They all do, every relationship has, so this one’s bound to. And it feels like I’m drowning here in constant worry and like waters in my throat and like I-“ You took a small moment to catch your shaky breath, “Like I can’t do this.”
He sat across from you on the tile bathroom floor with a look of sympathy of his face. He didn’t respond for a few seconds. You wondered if it was because he wanted to give you time and space to breathe, or if he was formulating and unsure what to say. Maybe both.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Was how he started. “What can I do to help life some of this off of you? Especially the relationship part?”“I don’t know and that’s what’s so damn frustrating.” You sighed out, still holding the now drying washcloth on your forehead and closing your eyes for a few seconds. “You do everything right already. Literally fucking perfectly. And my mind still won’t let me be convinced you’re gonna stay.”
“I know this isn’t going to help much, but I will never leave you.” He began, “Even if you don’t believe me, I just need to put it out there. And if for whatever reason, I did, I would talk to you first about why and looking at how we could fix stuff.” You sat for a few moments just staring at him. “Do you trust me?”
You nodded.
“Then know that I promise you that much. Okay?” You nodded again. “Why don’t I draw you a bath, hm?”
“Yes, please.” You said lightly, now removing the towel from your head as your lightheadedness began to slip away. “Can you join me?” You asked a moment later as he was already up, reaching over the tub and starting the water. He looked back at you with a small smile.
“Of course,” He replied.
It was not sensual or sexual, it was peaceful. You needed the skin to skin with him to feel grounded, to remind yourself that it was real, what he said was true. You knew deep down he was right: he would never leave you, and if he was thinking about it he would talk to you first. He knew too much about you and your worried and psyche to just break up with you. He knew it would hurt you, and you knew he would never hurt you.
“Happy anniversary, baby.” He whispered into your ear from where he sat behind you, your back flush against his chest. You smiled.
“Happy anniversary to you too,” You said back, grabbing one of his hands to toys with his fingers. You did this whenever you became a bit nervous as a method to calm yourself down. “This really has been the best year of my life.” You could feel the smile growing on his lips that grazed your shoulder.
“Gonna give you a lifetime of best years ever.” He told you with a level of confidence in his voice that rebutted all the conflicting anxieties stirring in your mind. You let your muscles go, all the tension relating and melting into him.
“You’re so sure about me?” You asked, craning your next a bit to make eye contact with him.
“I don’t think I’ve been more sure about anything in my life.”
23 notes · View notes
bestfriend491 · 1 year
Text
Worthy
|Request Number 3.
Okoye x Fem Reader
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Summary: Okoye's not used to this kind of love. You make sure that she knows to get used to it.
Word Count : 4.5k
Fluff, Comfort
Warnings: None
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Day 1 
The early morning light hit the ground as the sun rose. You stood in your private hangar next to your quinjet, holding a heavy bag in front of you as you stared into Okoye's eyes.
"Don't miss me too much, General," you joked, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle, not knowing what to say to her. 
You were in a strange stage in your relationship. Things were still fresh, you'd only been trying your relationship out for 5 months. 
You told anyone that asked that you were 'trying things out'; mostly because Okoye wasn't fully ready for a relationship. 
To quote her words; "I'm not sure if I'm cut out to maintain a relationship." 
What she had really meant to say to you was that she had been hurt in so many past relationships, that she wasn't sure if her heart could take another heartbreak. 
You could feel her hesitancy, and you had tried to assure her that you were in it seriously for months before she agreed to even go on a date with you, and when that day had finally come, Okoye had to force herself to slow her heart down to where her head was. 
She liked you. 
You were great. 
But great things rarely ever stayed permanent for her. 
She wasn't sure if it was everyone else that was the problem, or if it was her. Realistically in her head, she was the common denominator in all of those relationships, and even though she always saw love between close people in her life, she couldn't help but feel like love might have not been for her. 
Aneka and Ayo had the best communication as a couple, something that Okoye craved but had never gotten to in her own relationships. 
T'Challa and Nakia had once had passion that was undeniable. Okoye wasn't sure that this was something she wanted, but still she had never had it in her relationships before. 
There were countless more examples of couples that had a special something that split them up from the rest of the crowd. 
Okoye wanted something like all of them, and you could have held all of those qualities and more. Her heart was just something that Okoye treasured very dearly, and her personality made it hard to know when to let her guard down. 
You fought though, and slowly, you were breaking down some of the barriers that she had built. 
Okoye had silently enjoyed your company, never rejecting your date invitations. She made sure to give you a chance, and it had been working so far. 
You were smart and passionate. You communicated more than effectively and most importantly, you cared. 
You were possibly the most caring person to grace Earth's soil in her eyes. You cared for many people and you were always willing to help people. 
More importantly though, you cared for yourself. You never spread the same harmful self talk that constantly went through her mind about herself.
"I'll try not to accept anyone else's courting advances while you are gone." Okoye was using her best sarcasm today, not wanting to worry you with her seemingly ridiculous feelings of insecurity. 
You smiled at her, adjusting the strap on your bag so as to not drop it. 
You were leaving for a long mission. Something required of you every year because of your job. 
It wasn't anything too dangerous. There would possibly be a fight or two, but you were an intelligent spy, who rarely left room for error. 
You'd be gone for at least 3 months though, as you'd be surveying more than a dozen countries on your trip and gaining all the lost Intel needed for Wakanda. 
You and Okoye had silently been arguing about the entire thing. Not a word was spoken when she found out about your annual trip. Instead, your eyes did all the talking. Only the two of you would know exactly what was really being said. 
Okoye nodded down,  "I don't want you to go."
You took her hand in yours,  "I'll be back in no time." 
Okoye put on a fake smile trying to hide her fears, but a watery tear betrayed her, "I don't think I'll be able to handle it." 
When she let that tear drop that night, you hugged her as tightly as she'd allow you, a way to say, "I'll do anything in my power to make it work." 
You weren't sure if she had been able to get that message though, because for 2 weeks after that she had avoided you as much as she could. She was never at the palace when you were, she'd ignore your messages and she refused to explain herself. To you, she was processing the information and it was taking longer than usual. 
In actuality, Okoye was internally mourning the relationship in those 2 weeks. Her walls were building up again and although she didn't want to let go of you, her brain was telling her it had to happen. 
It was you who brought her out of mourning the following week though, making it your mission to get her to talk to you. 
She still wasn't fully transparent with you, but your response was not like that of her previous partners' ones. 
You gave her space and time, but you never left. 
When she felt ready to at least try, for your sake, she let you in, and you let her stay as silent as she wanted. 
Now, 2 weeks later, it was time for you to go. 
Your personal quinjet was ready to go, and all that you would need was loaded. 
You had requested that only Okoye see you off, not wanting people around you to distract you from the one person that really mattered. 
You leaned in, placing your forehead against hers. Letting yourself absorb the final minutes with her. 
Your throat was tightened, much like Okoye, who could barely speak. 
"What's wrong?" You whispered, looking into her teary eyes. 
She didn't separate your foreheads to wipe her tears like she would for anyone else. Instead, she let a few tears flow. 
She also shook her head. Not wanting to tell you. She didn't want to be called needy or overbearing. She didn't want you to pick on her for feeling so much. It wasn't like a Dora to display this much emotion anyway. 
"Don't worry. It's just a me thing. It doesn't matter. " 
You shook your head now, moving to place a soft kiss on her forehead. You used your free hand to wipe the tears away
 "Whatever matters to you matters to me,  you’re important to me." You said. 
Okoye looked at you, not having ever gotten such a considerate response to her breakdown. 
She wasn't sure what to say now. Her head still told her to keep quiet, but her heart could feel that she could tell you anything. 
Seeing her struggle, you decided to not push any further. It would be tough enough to let you go without baring her soul to you.
"You’re so strong, Okoye.  And brave—but I wish you knew you don’t always have to be." You put down your bag, taking in both of her hands. 
You continued, "I'm here, if you ever need someone to help you shoulder those burdens."
With that, you kissed her tentatively. Letting her let go of her mask.
She let you take the reins, needing the reassurance of your lips caressing hers more than anything. 
Your fingers intertwined, letting the both of you feel one another. 
When your lips departed, you felt a tear of your own fall, letting go of her hand to wipe it away. 
"I love you," you blurted out. Okoye's eyes widened, not having expected that. The sound of her heart racing could be heard from a ways away. Seeing her reaction, you smiled. 
"Don't say anything. Just keep that in mind while I'm gone. I love you, Okoye. And I'm coming back." 
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Day 2 
You turned your bead around to show her your temporary place of living. 
"I've never seen such a hideous hideaway." Okoye laughed at your words as she sat in her home, listening to you finish rambling on about your journey to the first country you needed to be in. 
"If you ask me, it's not much worse than your house." 
You gasped at her words, placing your hand on your heart to show how 'hurt' you were. 
"My house is simple and efficient." You defended. 
"More like uncomfortably small and impractical." 
That got a chuckle out of you, and Okoye got to see your beautiful smile. It calmed her anxiety in some ways. Seeing that you were still safe. She knew that that wasn't much, as you hadn't even started the work part of the trip, but just knowing that for just a short amount of time, you were safe made her less worried about you. 
She took a few deep breaths as she tried to wash those anxious thoughts away. Those breaths only induced a deep yawn to fall from her lips.
You noted that down as a sign that you probably needed to call it a night. 
When she saw that you were hesitating to continue, she smiled at you- not sure what to say. She wanted to ask you not to leave just yet. To give her a moment to prepare herself for the racing thoughts that would flood her mind when she could no longer see you. 
Then you continued, "I know that I've just complained the whole night but I really appreciate your support, Okoye."
Her heart couldn't help but feel warm at your appreciation. 
That night, she slept with a bit more ease than the last. 
Day 3 Message from you: Thank you for listening to me ramble last night. I really appreciated the open ear, sthandwa.
Day 5 
"So how was today?" She asked after 2 days without you calling. 
She wanted to squeeze in as much time with you as possible but she was on night duty. 
"It was a tough day today, but everything's better when you're with me, so I'm going to pretend you actually are for tonight. I love you."
She let those words sink in, starting to feel a sense of calm.
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Day 7
When Okoye saw your incoming call to her, she completely forgot that she was currently on duty, as she rushed to find a corner to talk to you by. 
“Sthandwa sam!” you said as you saw her face appear. 
“You didn’t call yesterday?” She enquired. 
Your face crinkled in worry as you thought about what to say. It wasn’t like you had been on a dangerous mission- you had merely just fallen asleep before you could call. 
“I’m sorry. I fell asleep after my patrol around the city.” 
Okoye frowned at that, having been up all night wondering if you were safe. You could tell from her expression that she had really needed that call.
She let out a cough, clearing her throat. “It’s fine. You need your sleep.” 
“ Did you need something, Okoye? I’m here now.” 
“No! I’m fine. I just had a long night, that’s all.”
You hummed in contemptment, not satisfied with your answer but also very cautious of how far you could push Okoye to open up.
Okoye herself wanted you to pry for those answers. She wanted to ask you for that reassurance, but her past relationships kept popping up in her head. Every time she was told that she was a burden. Every time that her displays of emotion weren’t taken seriously. And those memories stuck. 
She wouldn’t allow that to happen to her again. 
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Day 42
For 15 days, you had been radio silent. Okoye was losing her mind trying to keep track of your possible location, but your job required full secrecy, meaning that until your missions were over, you swore not to disclose any details about where you were. 
Of course, this came with the exemption of if you were injured, because then you could connect your Kimoyo Beads back to Shuri’s network and she could locate you. 
Seeing as you hadn't, Okoye was less on edge about you being hurt. She was just really anxious for your return. She wanted you back on Wakandan ground more than anything, and she hadn’t felt the urge to be with someone like this since her wedding day, when she so badly wanted to be with W’Kabi for the rest of her life. 
After so long with him, and how badly the relationship had ended, she didn’t ever stop to see how flawed their relationship had been in the first place. How her feelings were never fully considered in his decision making. 
The divorce being so long ago, Okoye felt embarrassed that she was still in that state of despair. She was no longer in love with him, but a part of her was still healing from him, and from all the people that came before him. 
She had spoken only briefly about her current mental state to Ayo, who had suggested she find a place where she could be alone to be free to do whatever she needed to feel better. She had even offered to take on the General position temporarily while Okoye took a break but she refused. 
What good was she if she was loveless and bad at her job. She needed to be settled and stable in at least one of them. So she kept coming to work, and she kept going through the routine of coming back home to await your calls, only for you to not answer her messages or give a signal that you were okay. 
For 15 days she sat in her pool of self-pity, realising how much she loved you in ways that were passionate yet reserved.  
On that 16th day, when she received that call from you just as she arrived home, her heart had skipped a beat or two.
“My love, are you okay?” She asked you as she tried to inspect your face through the holograph screen. You turned yourself around and pretended to check yourself for injuries to show her that you were fine. 
“I missed you.” she whispered as she sat to hear your explanation for your disappearance. 
You told her about the highly dangerous group of assassins that were in connection with a huge gang in the country you were in. 
You needed to arrest all of the assassins as they had killed a cluster of people trying to invade one of the outreach centres.
You had gotten into contact with them on a patrol and they had found you, so you had to evacuate the area and cut contact with the world for a while, figuring out how they had found you. Once you fixed the issue, you were free to call your love again. 
But now you explained what you needed from Okoye. You needed her help more than her loving conversation. 
“You want me to help you hatch a plan? I’m not a spy though.” she mentioned, surprised by your request. 
"I value your judgement."
So Okoye helped you, and the two of you made a plan as good as perfect as you could get.
"I love how well you understand me." you said hours after you had finished the plan, holding eye contact with the now sleepy-eyed General.
You could barely tell if she was still awake, her eyes closed but her smile indicating that she was still conscious. 
“I love you.” she whispered out of nowhere, causing you to become a lot less tired than before, you sat up from your position on your bed, replaying the moment over and over again.
“What did you just say?” you asked excitedly. She let out a yawn, and opened her eyes to look at you. “I said; I love you.” 
Okoye had been sitting on that statement for months, and she felt like if she didn’t let that out soon, she would lose something that felt so promising. What was the risk of heartbreak compared to the risk of losing the best lover she had ever had?
For the rest of the night, you stared into each other’s eyes until you fell asleep, 
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Day 54 
The moment your quinjet landed in the palace hangar, Shuri was opening the door to get you to her lab. You had been stabbed from behind on your mission to get the assassins, and although you had succeeded in capturing all of them and sending them to have their own judgement days, you were still hit with a surprise attack from the last assassin before you got her too.
You were back in Wakanda for a few days, just to let Shuri heal you up and although you had tried to make your arrival strategic enough for Okoye to not be working when you showed up injured, she still stood ready to carry you right behind Shuri, her body as tense as ever.
Shuri got to work on you, while Okoye waited outside of the lab, aggressively wiping her tears away as she remembered your current state. 
Shuri had been quick to call Okoye to come with her when she had gotten a signal that you were injured and returning to Wakanda. Although Okoye knew that you were just trying to protect her from seeing you hurt, she still felt frustrated from the fact that you hadn’t called her or given her a signal. 
She also felt embarrassed that she was reacting exactly how you probably had predicted she would. Weakly. 
She had bared her heart to you only 12 days before, and now she was acting like she had been with you for years. It would be too confusing for you to understand. She needed to pull herself together so that you wouldn’t try to search for answers. 
“Okoye…” Shuri’s voice came from her lab, Okoye stood up straighter, wiping the final remaining tears. 
“She is perfectly fine. You can go see her now.” Okoye took no time to leave Shuri’s gaze of pity to go and see you. 
You were still conscious when she saw you on the gurney looking out into the city landscape. You turned around to look her way, allowing her to hug you from your right side and sit down next to you. 
“I know that you have something to say, Okoye. You can talk to me.” 
“I feel like I do things to jeopardise myself sometimes.” she said. 
“Such as?” 
“ Saying… I love you.” She said, looking into your eyes to see the anger build up. Surprisingly, your eyes softened at her words. 
“You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready.” you said, taking her hand in yours.
“I want to be ready, and my heart is ready, but then stuff like this happens and my head tells me to do anything to ruin us. So I won’t get hurt.” 
You kissed her hand, "No matter what happens.” then you kissed it again. “No matter what you do.” and again. 
“No matter how you try to push me away, I will always love you. I swear it.”
It was refreshing to get that reassurance, and for the first time, Okoye didn’t want to run away from the hard things in your relationship.
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You left 3 days later, feeling good enough to go to the safer countries on your list. You tried to keep in contact with Okoye for as many days as possible, sending her sweet messages and saying loving things to her when you talked. There were always a few days that stuck out to Okoye. Days where your words helped her feel good. 
On Day 67 you told her that you loved how she knew how to make her laugh. She had never considered herself funny or calming in any way, so you saying that gave a slight nudge of confidence in her value as a person. 
On Day 74 you told her the world was perfect because of her, and without her the world would be meaningless. It was a text, as you were working, but she had nearly let a tear  slip when she read it later on in the night. 
The next day, she asked you to move in with her. It was random, and spontaneous. Something you were more likely to have suggested, but she was adamant that she was ready for that type of step. You had figured that 7 months of dating would warrant her wanting to take things further, but you had only really known that you were officially together for just over  2 months. 
She offered her house, considering how much she hated your house's size. You laughed at her once again teasing your house knowing that it was justified. The house was built for kids fresh out of highschool that wanted to gain independence from their families,  but you had never moved out in the many years that came after you had graduated. 
You travelled away most of the time anyway, so you had found the concept of moving into a bigger house to be pointless. 
You didn’t fight her on moving in with her, and you agreed that you were ready to move in with her just as much as she was. 
You were scheduled to return to Wakanda permanently in 16 days, so Okoye offered to go to your house and collect your stuff. She really just wanted to surprise you with a nice welcome home.
The last memorable thing you said to her was on Day 81. You just said that she looked like a goddess when you saw her, and her face had flushed. She got jittery and couldn’t control her smile thinking about you for the rest of the day. 
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Day 91
"Sthandwa sam, I'm sorry." You said, still sitting in the hideout house of the last country you were meant to go to.
Okoye sighed, "It's not your fault. Mission delays happen. I'm just disappointed, sthandwa." 
Conveniently the day you were supposed to come home, another group of assassins had made their presence known. Okoye had worked tirelessly to get everything done for your arrival, but you had called her only hours before you were meant to return, to tell her the bad news. You had to stay there until everyone was taken care of. 
Okoye had been doing okay with her anxiety about both herself and your relationship, but the situation had cut her progress back in half.
“Okoye, talk to me. Please. I know you have something you need to let off your chest.”
She let out a shaky breath, “I can handle the missions, and I can handle you working long hours. I'm just not sure if I can handle feeling like your personal burden. I know you wanted to help bare the load but it's hard letting people see you bare. It's hard having you see my flaws- I mean why would you want someone so emotionally closed off and unstable? You don't deserve that." Your heart broke at that, and all you wanted to do was be home with her in your arms. But you couldn’t do that now, so you had to just give her your words.
"I want only you, Okoye. That means all of you. Your flaws. Your mistakes. Your imperfections. I want you, and only you, Sthandwa sam.” you said "I love you."
“I love you.” she replied,
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Day 101
After 3 months and 2 weeks, you were finally home. You had been dismissed to leave in the early hours of the morning, so you had decided to head straight there, not notifying anybody. Your feet hit the ground of your hangar, where your quinjet sat, looking slightly more used than it had when you first left. 
Your first instinct was to go to your old address, which was only 10 minutes away, but you soon remembered that you no longer lived there, and the place had most likely been given to a student at Wakanda University.
You lived with Okoye now. That fact brought a smile to your face, and your need to see her only became stronger.
You knew that she was going to be at the palace, so you made your way there. 
As you walked down the streets in the city, you observed what had changed. More houses were on the east side and some new technology had been installed, much like how it was most of the times that you travelled and came back home. 
When you made it to the palace, more people greeted you, and you were forced to take a more discreet path to the training grounds, where you knew she would be. When you got there, you again had to sneak around to get in without a commotion. 
You entered to see Okoye facing away from you on the far end of the room, where she was giving constructive criticism to the trainees before dismissal. One of them must have seen you sitting down in silence, because soon- and much worse, before Okoye had dismissed them, everyone in the room had left in a hurry while smiling at you and giving you a salute. 
“Where are you all going!” Okoye yelled, but they continued steaming out of the door. Okoye turned around now, prompting you to stand up and fix your appearance. 
When her eyes landed on you, they grew wide. Her breath hitched as you walked towards her. 
She walked too, meeting you halfway. 
You both crashed into each other, your embrace leaving no room in between the two of you. You stood there, absorbing each other’s presence, letting the tears flow. 
Okoye allowed herself to let all of the emotion out, being glad that the trainees had left before seeing their General so emotional. She would never live it down if they hadn’t.
You separated yourself from her, just enough to kiss her softly, Your lips lingered after, your foreheads connecting as you continued to hold each other. 
“I love you.” “ I love you.” you both said in unison.
Hours later, you laid in your now shared bedroom; your fingers intertwined. You both looked up as you brought in her hand and kissed it. 
You were the last one to say anything, “I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow." Okoye knew it too, and for the first time, she wasn’t scared that it was a lie.
For years, she had believed that she was the problem. That she was too much to handle and that she was the reason her relationships never lasted. 
She thought she was crazy for not always feeling secure with her exes. 
She was told to grow up and get over it, and she did,  but the doubts never went away.
She liked touch but never enough for her to feel good about herself. 
With you, she realised that she wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t immature or dramatic. 
She just needed to be told that she was worth something, even if in small ways. She needed to know that she brought her partner happiness, and that she was beautiful and that her emotional days weren't an impossible challenge to face. 
You'd shown her what everyone else in her life couldn't. 
You showed her that she was worthy.
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Author's Note: okay, now I'm officially back. I even did a revamp of the blog, if you noticed the colour and theme change. I hope you enjoyed and I'm looking forward to putting out more content again.
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whitewitchqueen · 10 days
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I'm not accustomed to making requests (I'm embarrasingly new to Tumblr still) but I was wondering, are there any yanderes that would get worse after the reader returns post Godwyn's death / The Shattering? Like for example, maybe some Elden Ring yanderes were already overbearing before the Shattering occurs and their behavior only gets ten times worse once everything goes down. I bet it would be super scary for the dreamer too, because they've just returned and probably doesn't even know what happened while they were gone. You can ignore this request if it isn't interesting enough! To be fair I'm just rambling here, haha.
Don't worry about requesting, it's a little nerve racking at first, but you get used to it.
So there are some yanderes I think get worse post-shattering. These are namely Marika/Radagon, Ranni, and Malenia. For Marika/Radagon, you being gone so long affected them so much. They both tried constantly to find a way to bring you back, but their reasonings for why they think you left were very different. They both know that your powers played a role in it, but Radagon is much more aware of your aversion to them as time goes on. It wasn't as though Marika didn't recognize the change in behavior, she just didn't care. She believed showering you in gifts would be enough to quell you of your fears, but obviously that wasn't the case. Your disappearance is a big factor for Marika's choice to break the Elden Ring, the death of her son just being a nail in the coffin. If you somehow returned, I do think they'd be able to tell. Even while connected, even while stuck in the Erd Tree, they can feel a change in the air, you're home and they just long to hold you once more. I don't really know how "alive" they are, or if their body has just deteriorated after years of being kept away, but they will do anything to get to you, even siding with the Tarnished. They no longer care, the only thing that kept them going was you, the taught and memory of you, and they refuse to loose you again. Even if you've changed, gotten older, forgotten them, they do not care.
When it comes to Ranni, she has a lot of complicated feelings about reader. You're confused and scared about your powers and this world and to a sense, she can relate to you. She was once naive about her place in the world and she struggled to understand where she belonged. It's the realization that the Golden Order is archaic and should be replaced that makes her realize how useful you can be. You are the apple to Marika's eyes, and if Ranni were to take you, it be a much easier way to set her plan into motion. But of course she can't do that, because you disappear. I think Ranni spends a long time trying connect to you through dreams, but is unsuccessful. For a long time, she assumes you're dead, and even long after she's shed her old Empyrean skin, she still finds herself longing to find you. So when you return, she finds herself drawn to you once more. You're older, more mature, but very clearly shaken by something you thought was a dream. She and her group become a haven for you, protecting you from the evil this world has become, and Ranni finds herself one of the last few things from her childhood that isn't tainted. She has Blaidd, but her relationship with his is different, even if they did grow up together. You're honest, and normal, and real in a way she didn't know she needed. She promises to protect you from everything in this world until the time comes where she can bring on her Age of Stars, and then she will find a way to keep you by her side forever.
Finally we have Malenia. The twins relationship with you runs much deeper than the others. Miquella was the first one to meet you, he's the one who introduced you to his sister, and you were their first and really only friend outside their own family. When you disappeared Miquella was racked with so many emotions, and Malenia felt incapable of comforting him. You meant so much to him, and so maybe that's why he tried so hard to get you back. Malenia, after you left, neglected a lot of her health, and her brother had to watch the rot deteriorate her. She went along with her brothers plans to help her, but their was only so much she could do as she traveled all over the Lands Between to mitigate the strife between her siblings. It was a childish way to deal with her emotions, but as her brother got more and more engrossed in his work, she felt alone. All she wanted to do was see her brother again, her other half. She waited for him to emerge from his tree, and as the days went by, she found herself missing her childhood, missing you. But then you returned, you were back in the Haligtree, back in your bed, like the first time she met you. She found herself missing her sight for the first time in years, for she wished to see how you changed. But she moved past it, and promised you that Miquella would be here soon, and that he will be so happy to see that you've returned. She's so happy to have her family back again.
Now there are characters that become yanderes after the shattering. If were going off of this post I made a while ago, Fia would become yandere for reader as an extension os Godwyn's feelings. Blaidd might even be the same, where because of his connection to Ranni his feelings for you also become warped. I don't know, I think it's interesting.
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