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hxjikonn · 1 year

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Hello! Congrats on 143 followers! You deserve it!

Could I request Malleus, Kalim, Vil, Ace, and Jamil with an s/o telling them they're the best thing to have ever blessed her eyes?

A/N: ’M GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS SM 😭♥︎ I have a 3-4 characters limit though so I had to take out Vil and Jamil as I didn’t have time 😔 maybe I’ll add a pt.2 in the future with the two in it! I hope you like it!

Got me Lovestruck

☆Staring☆: Ace Trappola, Malleus Draconia, and Kalim Al Asim

Synopsis: Their reaction to Fem!Reader suddenly saying they’re ‘the best things to ever bless her eyes’

Warnings: Tooth rooting fluff, I don’t proofread my shit so prolly grammatical errors, missing words, etc. I’m sorry💀💀💀

Ace Trappola

You two were doing your usual trouble causing habits, only to be caught by one of the teachers and get sent to detention. “I cant believe we have to write a 500 word essay about why we shouldn’t balance stuff on top of sleeping people’s heads….” Ace groaned quite heavily slamming his head down his desk.

“Like, it’s not OUR fault they fell asleep where we are! That should be an unspoken rule! ‘never fall asleep around Ace or Y/n’ right???” He turned to look at you with a frown as his head still laid there, you giggle at your boyfriend’s frustration and reached over to play with his hair in attempt to calm him down from his tantrum.

After awhile he stopped ranting and just doodle on the paper near where his face rested on his desk, pouting but enjoying the feeling of your hands running through his hair. You found yourself chuckling at the boy’s expression, you always found it endearing how he made you laugh at any given situation…it was one of the reasons why you fell for him…

“Ace you’re one of the best things to ever bless my eyes y’know that?” You blurted out, a soft smile plastered on your face as you looked at him. Needless to say he stopped whatever nonsense he was doing and looked right back at you. Eyes widened and shocked from the sudden confession you’ve made.

Cue Microsoft shut down sound

Wouldn’t know how to react, like his heart is pounding and wants to kiss you right then and there but also a nervous wreck

All his ‘rizz’ that he’d usually brag about would be flushed down the drain, and he has now downgraded into a flustered speechless boy.

When you notice he was acting like a deer caught in headlights, you leaned in and pecked his forehead to bring him back to reality.

He wanted to melt, that’s what he felt like. He pulled you closer to him by the waist and just buried himself in your embrace.

You’d tease him but let him do that until his brain starts running again and is able to produce words.

Once he’s up and running again he’d gather enough courage to leave soft kisses on your collarbone as he’s still too red to kiss your face.

“I fucking love you, I cant- I don’t even- Ughhhh see??? this is what you do to me?? Oh my gosh…”

Malleus Draconia

You two were out on your nightly walks again and he’s going on a tangent about gargoyles while holding on to your hand, you listened and probably know what he’s talking about already due to countless times he’s mention this subject to you whenever it sparks up in your conversations.

Still you listened to him fondly, showing interest to his likings aswell, occasionally you’d ask him questions, and he’d elaborate. You loved how enthusiastic he was when he talks about the things that he likes, the hobbies he does, or anything at all if your being honest.

The horned fae’s voice was like that song you’ll never get tired of, suddenly a question from him cuts you off your train of thought “aren’t they the greatest creatures to bless this earth my dear?” He asks you. “I beg to differ” you protested, he was shocked as you always agreed with him on this, “oh? well then please do” he offers, awaiting for your argument. He was always up for a friendly debate.

You smiled up at him, “They’re not the greatest thing to ever bless MY eyes…because that would be you, my prince” and lifted up his hands to plant a small kiss on his knuckles. “And my opinion wont be swayed so don’t even try tsunotaro” you grinned at him. Suddenly though…your lover stopped walking.

He hears church bells ringing lol

He’d passionately but gently give you a kiss, you’d have to be the one who pulls away frist because this man isn’t stopping 🥹

He was already asking DEMANDING you marry him and ‘no’ isn’t an option. Already has your whole life with him planned in his head.

You’d giggle at his sudden statement and he explains to you that he wasn’t joking. You’d assure him that you knew he wasn’t but ‘not now’

He frowns, but understands and doesn’t push you any further (for now at least) He couldn’t leave you that night, so he stayed over and slept beside you. Coddling you with affection

Would be thinking about what you said to him everyday and smiling, he’d set the whole world on fire if you wanted him to, no questions asked.

After that day he’d keep asking ‘when’ you were going to marry him. And would be stuck to you like glue.

“Malleus…this isn’t your class” “I understand sir Trein but I simply cannot leave my wife…” “WIFE?!?!” “EXCUSE ME??!” “Mal go to your class”

Kalim Al Asim

You two were just hanging out in Scarabia, he was simply laying on your chest, content as he watched vidoes on his phone. These were the days where it was peaceful, the only sounds that were heard were birds chirping and occasionally small talk from the two of you.

Kalim was busying himself with the content his phone provided, making little noises like gasps or laughs from time to time. You just watched him, as his expression changes, finding yourself laughing aswell because you thought he was cute.

He’d look up at you from his phone and ask what you found amusing but you’d tell him that it was nothing and he’d just go back to doing what he was doing. This went on for awhile until he puts down his phone and looks up at you with a pout, “What?? You’ve been laughing since earlier, is there something on my face?…” he whines, climbing up the cushion to meet your eyes and lays down beside you.

You nod, so he starts wiping his face with his hands you only respond with a laugh again, slowly you took his hands off his face and replaces them with yours, “What? What’s on my face?“ he asks, “The best thing to ever bless my eyes” you answered and gave him a kiss. You swore you saw his pupils dilate.

Would cry 💀💀💀 no seriously he’d start tearing up.

You notice this and ask what was wrong, finding it a bit funny that your boyfriend just starts crying for no reason.

He’d burry his face in your chest sobbing, hands wrapped tightly on your waist, mumbling little I love you’s

You laugh at him for this as you thought it was adorable, you peppered him with kisses to make him stop crying.

When you ask him again he’d just say that he loves you so much that’s why he started crying. And once again burry himself in your warmth.

Would rub hearts on your back and leave kisses on your neck sometimes. When you end up falling asleep first he’d watch you sleep and tell you how much you mean to him.

Would always remind you that he loves you everyday from then on. Like ALL THE TIME, you have to tell him to stop sometimes ‘cuz it comes at the most RANDOM of hours.

“Y/n….?” “Hm???” “I love you okay? Very much…” “love it’s 3 in the morning” “I know, I just wanted to tell you that, go back to sleep now, I love you” “Hm…I love you too..” “I love you more-“ “Kalim…”

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland reaction #twst x mc #twst x yuu #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader

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tragicclownwrites · 1 year

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A tragic clown's SBSP ship opinions

So I came across @shiba-deer's ship ranking post and I thought "fuck it. i'm gonna do one, too!" 😝 I tend to agree with most of their points with just a few differences including the addition of shitty Canva edits by me.

Disclaimer: As the title suggests, these are just my opinions. I know some folks may disagree and that's okay! I'm not trying to flame anyone or start any drama, so please keep it chill. We're all just clowns here. 🤡

Here's the scale I'm working with:

god tier - OMFG I LOVE them 💖🥰

top tier - I really like this ship 💜👍

mid tier - I'm neutral about this ship 😐

bottom tier - I really don't like this ship 👎😓

hell no tier - Get this shit off my dash immediately 🤢🚫

?? tier - I don't know enough about them to form an opinion 🤷

Anyways, here we go~

SQUIDBOB - god tier

Ah yes, SquidBob. The only "god tier" ranked ship on this list. Are we surprised? There are just so many great moments between these two and so much that could be said. Alas, I'll spare the long monologue and just say that their dynamic is absolute perfection. It's literally the basis of a great, slow-burn romance - you can't make this shit up. I love "opposites attract" for the exact reasons that I disliked some of the other pairings on this list. It's notable that while Spongebob is mostly cheerful and exuberant and Squidward is mostly grumpy and reserved, that isn't all they are; Squidward very much has a fun side just as Spongebob has a serious one. They keep things interesting and bring out the best in each other (whether Squiddy wants to admit that or not), in spite of their differences. And per this post, they actually do have a lot in common as well! I could wax poetic about why a fucking sponge and octopus are literal soulmates, but idk. I just think they're neat. 💖

PLABS - top tier

Now this was not a ship that was initially on my radar when I first joined the fandom. But I am happy to say that has definitely changed and it is now a favorite of mine! I love a good friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers ship, and Plabs is one of the best. I feel like they have such a "will they, won't they" thing going on that leaves me on the edge of my seat. I definitely want to look into them more. And who knows? Maybe I'll get around to writing a fic? 😉 As for canon, I could list various examples but there is just so much compelling evidence in favor of this for me not to ship.

KARENDY - top tier

This is a ship that I have grown to really enjoy. While I would like to see more of them together in the show, the few interactions we have gotten are great fodder for a budding romance. I like how they have so much in common (ex. intelligence, interest in inventing), but not to the point where they clash (which I likely will talk about later in the list) and it actually benefits them and adds to their connection. They just have so much potential! They inspire my creativity the more I look into them. I mean, c'mon. Sandy literally said Karen was "beautiful" and Karen's wiki says her relationship with Sandy is "a purely positive one."

SQUIDLIAM - top tier (as exes)

This list simply wouldn't be complete without this pairing. If you've read SquidBob fanfiction, Squilliam is the perfect villainous ex-boyfriend. 😈 It could be that I'm a sucker for villain redemptions (spoiler: i am) or perhaps @misslattesart has made me consider alternative possibilities for this character (probably both tbh), but I find myself increasingly intrigued by this dynamic - particularly Squilliam's motivation for constantly trying to outdo Squidward when he appears to have it all. While I'm part of the majority of fandom that headcanons them as exes, it's evident that they were definitely romantically involved at some point. But I do agree that they would inevitably find themselves in conflict eventually. After all, they broke up for a reason.

PLANKBOB - mid tier

Fun fact about this ship: PlankBob actually got me into the fandom (more on that here), so there's a level of fondness for me there. However, it is purely on a crack-ship basis and I've more or less stopped shipping it since joining in favor of other ships on this list. But idk man, it's just a funny dynamic.

PATWARD - mid tier

This is such a hilarious and chaotic match that literally no one would see coming. I think everyone probably knows about that one moment in Kamp Koral. I can't find the clip right now but, I mean, what the hell even was that?? Still, I'm only giving it a "mid tier" rank as, like PlankBob, it's more of a pairing that I'd ship ironically.

SQUIDVIA - mid tier

I mean, Squidward went on a practice date with Spongebob, who was significantly more interested in him than Squilvia was. She didn't get all that much screentime, despite her being the girl Squidward was presumably trying to impress. I'd argue that Squiddy wasn't all that into her either, but rather the idea of her because they are so similar and he thinks that's the kind of person he should be with. I don't really feel any sort of way about this ship, but their relationship probably wouldn't last. SquidBob FTW.

PUFFKRABS - bottom tier but would be mid tier if not for their bullshit (very confusing, I know)

Surprisingly, I do feel like this pairing has potential... if it weren't for a major Plankton-shaped obstacle holding them back. I've touched on this a bit in my fic, but apparently Mrs. Puff and Mr. Krabs have been/were secretly dating for 16 years. Now, 16 years is not a number to scoff at. However, the "secretly" part is giving me pause and sending up all the red flags. 🚩🚩Both of them are single/divorced/widowed/etc. They are not having an affair. So... why keep it a secret? As far as I'm aware, neither of them have any reason not to be open about it (assuming that I'm not off base about this whole secrecy aspect). Sure, not everyone needs to be in their business. But then it's implied that even Pearl doesn't know. I have no idea who made the call but if I was Mrs. Puff and everyone, including my boyfriend's daughter, was in the dark about our relationship and he made no moves to give me any sort of real commitment after over a decade... I'd start to wonder what the fuck was up.

PATBOB - bottom tier (sorry 😔)

I was really conflicted on this ranking because PatBob has all the makings of a great ship - they're best friends, they look cute together, and they have a lot in common. However, the reason I ranked this so low is mostly because their friendship is so much stronger than any sort of romantic connection. I feel like whenever these two are put into a remotely romantic scenario (ex. when Spongebob they raised a baby scallop), that's when the cracks start to show. As friends, they have a great dynamic and are so funny together, even when they get into arguments/spats. However, as romantic partners, it feels unnatural. As shown in the episode I mentioned as an example, Patrick gets to be his silly, lazy self whereas Spongebob has to take the more serious, rational role - which is not his natural inclination, even if he has that side. I just can't help but feel like this would become a pattern if they were actually in a relationship. I live for best friends-to-lovers... but this ship is not the one.

PLANKAREN - bottom tier

I was originally going to rank this "hell no tier" but it's not the worst thing I've ever seen - mostly just a prime example of compulsory heterosexuality (this was a great response on the topic). I still dislike the pairing quite a bit though. Like, are they even married? The two of them are so off-and-on, hot-and-cold together and there's just something so... forced about it. I just think they both would be so much happier if they weren't together, you know? I don't doubt that they support - and maybe even love - each other a bit, but to quote my own fic (not to plug lol): "you can love and care about someone without being in love with them."

SPANDY - hell no tier

I've never liked this ship, even prior to joining the fandom. Hell, even when I was a kid and didn't know what shipping was, I still felt there was something off. As I've gotten older and wiser though, I think it really comes down to Sandy and Spongebob having virtually zero romantic chemistry. Nada. Zilch. Despite SBSP being episodic in nature, their dynamic consistently gives me sibling vibes - which does not translate well into a romantic connection at all. They're just miles better as friends and I don't see that changing in the slightest.

(And this is just a personal nit-pick vs. a solid point but I find myself put off by the frequently OOC portrayal in fanworks - particularly for Sandy, who is actually one of my favorite characters. I know as writers and artists, we're going to take some creative liberties. But if you have to drastically alter a character's personality and/or physical traits to suit your ship narrative, it's probably not a good ship. 🤷)

SQUANDY - hell no tier

I do love seeing Squidward and Sandy getting along and being pals - I mean, look at this interaction (sorry, couldn't find a better gif)! However, any sort of romantic connotation gives me a serious case of the "ick" (SquidBob be damned, honestly). Hence the very low ranking. They are strangely more believable than Spandy, but that's probably the only redeeming thing about this as a ship tbh. Otherwise, it's a "hell no" from me.

(This sound effect is literally me when thinking about this lmao.)

MINDRICK - hell no tier

Not to be that person, but even if there was genuine chemistry... let's just say Mindy doesn't just look young. I even Googled it for you. You're welcome.

SQUARRY - ?? tier

Okay so I've heard lots of good things about this pairing and how they have some great, shippy interactions. However, it's not a ship I'm familiar enough with to form an opinion.

BUBBLERAY - ?? tier

Not really super familiar with these characters' dynamic in general, let alone the ship.

SLAPFERATU - ?? tier

I've seen this ship making the rounds as well, but definitely not familiar enough with them to make a judgment call. From what I've seen (including pulling this pic together), it is pretty hilarious. I will say that. 😆

#tragic clowning #for ships and giggles #😉😉#squidbob #plabs #karendy #only tagging ships ranked top tier or higher #aside from squidliam as i like them more as exes #i probably missed some ships but i spent an embarrassing amount of time on this already lmao #my blog theme doesn't like the colors for some reason 😔

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 3 years

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Eyo its glass au guy, the au where glass physics just doesnt apply to our birdbois, here to add to this literal fucking crack au because dear fuck i might run on angst alone but mAN WE ALL NEED A BREAK SOMETIMES

Anyways, have you ever noticed that technoblades windows are just trapdoors with holes? wELL--

I like to imagine that literally the only reason Technoblade found out about Philza's... condition, was wAAAAAAAAY back then, back when they were just two dudes that dont die and were just chillin. Techno was just probably out and about, hunting deer, drinking blood, staying at villages and deciding whether or not to slaughter everyone when he leaves, you know regular Technoblade stuff.

When he discovers the invention of glass. (Yes im making both of them that old and no you cannot stop me)

Techno's pretty fascinated by the art of glass making and ends up staying at the village a little longer than Philza and him expected and even ended up not slaughtering them.

He actually stayed so long in the village in fact, that Philza's wanderlust got the better of him and he kinda just-- left techno. Not without saying goodbye tho.

So now, philza's exploring the world while techno is mastering the art of glass making. The reason techno was so interested in the first place was because he saw the combat potential and the living improvement it could bring. And if the history books say something abt a pink haired pig hybrid helping a potion maker invent the splash potion well, technos not gonna say anything.

And as the years went by, techno proceeded to make hundreds, if not, thousands of glass creations from sculptures to weapons to containers and anything he could think of really. But those years of glass blowing and fire fanning really did a number on him. So much so that while taking a break in the middle of his creations, he drank a health pot to fix the itch in his lungs.

He coughs a little, waving away the smoke of the fire. Man, the wood he got today was smokier than usual huh? It never got so thick he couldn't see across the room but itll be fine, he knows where everything is anyways.

He finishes his latest project and airs out the room, to try and get rid of the smoke blocking his vision. But why is everything still so blurry? So he goes outside to get some fresh air.

And now he's fuckin worried because he pretty fuckin sure he didnt set the village on fire enough to cause such a crazy amount of smoke to block his vision. Because oh god, he cant see shit anymore.

So he panics. He pours a pot each to both his eyes and it got a little better because now he can see things a few meters away from him kind of okay but his eyes are still fucked up. Chat is still screaming and Techno, caught up in the panic and emotions of trying to deal with all this bullshit, tries to calm himself down by breaking his defective products. Now at least chat is a little satiated.

Philza, having visited his longtime and only friend, hears the sound of something shattering. It sounded like a clay pot but higher pitched for some reason. So he rushes to Techno, holding seemingly nothing but his hands covered in deep cuts.

Techno meanwhile, has finally calmed down and started to clean up and pick up all the shattered remains of his glass objects. And as he picks them up, he squints at them a little, trying in vain to see if his eyes are salvageable. But with each shard, that hope slowly dims and finally he accepts his handicap. Until the last few shards. Because one of them broke into a really large piece and for some reason, he... can kind of see through it??? Huh, maybe his defect pile wasnt as defective as he thought.

Philza comes back to him with a towel and a health pot (he puts them in clay containers shoosh he dont know glass exists okay) and asks whats wrong. Techno raises his head to reply when he realizes "oh sHIT PHILZA YOURE SITTING ON GLASS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU OKAY"

And philza, the old bird man he is just kinda goes "huh??? Wat???? Glass???????" And Techno just kinda blindly pockets the glass he was looking at and pulls out a glass health pot of his own to tend to Philza's "wounds".

Philza kinda just stares because holy SHIT IS TECHNO A FUCKING POTION BENDER WHAT THE FUCK. Philza kinda just dazedly grabs the floating health mixture and his hands just pass through the liquid and his fingers are coated in potion.

And techno also staring because holy SHIT IS PHILZA A FUCKING GLASS BENDER CMON I SPENT LIKE-- 2 CENTURIES MASTERING THIS STUPID THING AND APPARENTLY PHILZA CAN JUST DO WHATEVER WITH IT WHAT THE FUCK.

And now they're just vibin on the floor with their heads blown. Oh yeah, techno invents eye glasses. The first two he makes are for himself and phil because "phil, do you not see the glass? You are literally just sitting on a pile of shards."

The glasses fitting was also kind of a train wreck since techno made rimless glasses and the glass just-- went straight through philzas eyes and shattered on the floor. When philza brings it up, techno vehemently denies screaming like an 8 year old and being torn in two because he didnt know whether or not he should worry over phil first or the thing he made for him.

Damn dis long. Lol oops

Pfft. Oh my god. This is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Just the both of them being confused with each other and oh my god.

#dream smp #dream smp au #glass au #philza #ph1lza #technoblade #ask #the-2nd-random-kid

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starrysebastians · 4 years

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Of blood, sweat and mishaps

Summary : you’ve had a long journey in order to fight your way back home, and home sometimes holds surprises. Destroyer!Chris x reader, description of violence and sex. (i’ve never written smut before i have literally no idea what i’m doing don’t mind me)

This was written for @baezen’s the other guys writing challenge, with the prompt : i really wish you told me your mother was in town ; thank you for giving love to these other guys, I hope this will do!!

It’s already dark outside when you leave the building, duffel bag hastily swung over your shoulders without you even registering its weight on your bruised body — you’ve been carrying this thing for over a month and you’ve become immune to it. Rather, your shoulders already constantly hurt and it doesn’t matter anymore because you just want to go home and spend an entire hour in a hot bath to wash away all the sweat and blood and dirt of the last few weeks.

"Hey!" You stop in your tracks, a tilt of your head being the only sign that you have actually heard and acknowledged the voice of your colleague rushing behind you, the precinct doors slamming behind the both of you. "Are you sure you don’t need a lift?"

Sam catches up with you, a little out of breath, probably because he took the stairs and tried to beat you to the door. You smile, shaking your head. He’s looking you up and down and you know he wants to say you clearly are in no state to drive, or even to be standing upright. And driving you to your appartement isn’t a problem because it’s on his way to his own.

"It’s okay. I think I’m gonna crash at Chris’, it’s closer anyway." You shift from one foot to another, transferring the weight of your body and your weapons on the leg that hurts the least. Sam’s face morphs into understanding, a knowing smile stretching on his lips. You want to roll your eyes, but you can’t help but chuckle.

"Right." He nods, taking a step back, then lifts up his chin. "Take the week off, you deserve it."

"Wasn’t planning on asking for permission, but I’m glad to know my break was approved."

He snorts, probably because you both know it’s true that you never ask for permission and you’re one of those agents who are literally their own boss, to their partners and bosses’ despair. It usually works out, and you’re one of their best. You’re about to cross the street when Sam’s voice echoes again in the busy street, slightly muffled by the sound of cars, honks, suitcases rolling on the ground, hitting holes and bumps on the pavement, the same ones that make people trip on their own feet.

"He was worried about you." You’re not facing your literal partner in crime anymore, and you don’t turn around to show him your little smile, but he probably knows anyway.

Green lights turn to red and you breathe in before crossing the street, taking in the sky and the stars starting to appear and twinkle around a full moon, clouds almost perfectly still on this day — it was sunny, apparently, but you spent the first half of the day fighting your way home, the other half writing a report and delivering long-awaiting data and compromising documents to the Bureau. Then you had to spend another hour promising everyone you were alright and not injured to the point where you had to go to a hospital, and now you could finally go home.

And in that case home isn't necessarily your cosy apartment, the one you had just finished re-painting and decorating before you left for your mission, but as cheesy at it sounds, home might have become a person.

It takes you less than fifteen minutes to reach his apartment complex, but at least seven to cross the stairs when you realize the elevator still hasn't been fixed, painfully dragging your battered body up the wooden steps, a hand pressed to your ribs and stomach, and finally, another three minutes to dig out your spare key from that little pocket in your duffel bag, hand shaking as you miss the keyhole a few times before getting it right.

You don’t bother knocking or making your presence officially known because even though you've been gone for a month no one else has that key and he probably heard that your mission was over anyway. The slam of the door echoes behind you and you audibly groan, voicing your pain and exhaustion for the first time today.

"Honey I’m home," you call out sarcastically, letting your duffel bag hit the floor with a loud thump, slowly shrugging your leather jacket off — it falls from the coat hanger as you turn around but you don’t bother picking it up. Your body wouldn’t let you. "Remember when I said I was going on a small mission that would only take a few days? Well I was wrong."

Something drops on the kitchen table. A knife, a fork, a spoon — whatever, but something drops and clings and you hear him cough. A chair scrapping against the floor. You enter the bathroom. You smirk at your reflection in the mirror, splashing your face with water and watching droplets of blood trail down your cheeks and neck, hitting your already stained shirt.

"Turns out, it was the same group of freaking mad scientists we thought we dismantled last time. You know, that time Sam got shot?" You turn the faucet off. "So I had to stay undercover the whole month." Hands all dried up, hair tied into a messy bun. A band-aid covering the cut on your forehead. Cream on your nose and bloody lip. "So. Yeah. That wasn’t planned."

You exit the bathroom, passing the entrance again, carefully avoiding tripping on your discarded combat boots lying on the wooden floor. They're full of mud and there is probably a lot of blood that you can't see. It’s usually very neat and clean here, all sorts of shoes lined up and in their place, a spotless wooden floor that contrasts with the white walls, and Chris would probably scold you if you didn't have a valid excuse right now.

You sigh, feet following the noise. "And my cover got blown yesterday. It was honestly one of the hardest missions I have ever been on." You shiver, pausing for a second as you close your eyes and try to shake flashbacks and images off your mind. You clear your throat, plastering a smile on your face even though Chris can't see you yet.

"Anyway — " There’s a small table right at the entrance of the living room, where you drop your gun and badge with a deafening bang.

There’s a small shit that’s being muttered over and over again but that you don’t really register, still not looking up. " — now that I killed them all I’m allowed to discuss secret details — remember their boss, Helmer? That was a nasty fight, ugh. I had to shoot him at point-blank range and I think I’ve still got pieces of his stupid brain in my hair." You shudder. "Ugh." You massage the back of your neck, rolling your head from left to right, cracking your bloody knuckles, while taking in the smell of his cooking with closed eyes.

You follow the smell, smiling softy as you enter the kitchen.

"Hey!" Chris rushes out of the room at the same time you step in, eyes wide as he takes in your form, his hands gently grabbing your forearms, caging you. Gently, tenderly, as his fingers run on your skin, but with a grip that feels urgent.

"Hey," you reply more softly, your voice still raspy. You blink, head titled to the side, grabbing onto him as well. Your hands find his toned stomach, relishing the warmth you have missed as you sigh contently. You refrain from resting your forehead on his chest, remembering the blood still splattered on your face and burning your skin, and the smell that has been invading your senses ever since you escaped literal hell.

So you gently cup his face with your hand, thumb brushing against his skin before stepping aside in order to enter the kitchen. Chris' arms reach out to you, in an attempt to keep you from entering the room, but you slip out of his embrace.

"Wait — "

"Oh — "

Your breath gets stuck in your threat, everything going still around you. You can’t even gasp or express your surprise, because every single bone and cell in your body has gone completely rigid. You stand here by the door, Chris' arms still outstretched in vain behind you, a new set of eyes staring back at you.

"You're… — " You gulp. No. “I didn't know you had company.”

Not like this. It can't go like this. This gaze is unblinking, confused, curious, disgusted as it seems to scrutinize your outfit — ripped combat pants looking huge compared to your small feet and their dirty socks stained with mud and dust. Crumpled white shirt — more red than white. There's a wound on your stomach that won't stop bleeding. Arms painted red, blue and black with scratches and bumps and dirt smeared across your skin. Swollen lips parted and face sporting what probably looks like the stupidest facial expression ever.

Your hand find the back of your neck, angrily scratching your already chafed skin as you feel the discomfort settle into your chest, until you hear Chris clear his throat behind you, hand gently peeling your fingers off your skin, then sliding down to rest on the small of your back. You wince and it doesn't go unnoticed.

"Y/N," Chris sports a smile that looks very painful, mentally and physically. "Mom. Mom, Y/N. My colleague." A side glance. “And girlfriend.”

There’s a small beat of silence where you think you’re going to pass out. She manages to look so composed despite her eyes literally screaming terror and horror and get this woman out of my son’s appartement ; and you, the FBI agent, look like a deer caught in headlights, a stuttering mess, shoulders dropped in despair. Maybe she would do a better job at being an undercover agent.

"I - shouldn’t shake your hand. Or, touch you...at all. I think you can guess why. See why. Clearly see why," your voice wavers. "But, um. It’s very nice to meet you. Ma’am. I should probably take a shower." You turn around, avoiding Chris' gaze, but only taking a few steps before stopping and turning back to him, resignation painted on your features.

You sigh, and try to whisper as you add : "I didn’t want to go to the hospital but I kinda need you to stitch me up right now." His blue eyes go to your stomach and his hand to his forehead, rubbing it tiredly.

"Yeah," he nods before twisting his body to face his mother, still quietly sitting at the dinner table. "Mom, I need to take care of her. We'll be here in half an hour, okay?"

You don't wait for her answer before heading straight to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat with your eyes closed and lips in a thin line. You hear his feet on the bathroom tiles, the sound of his dress shirt ruffling as he crouches down in front of you, palms spreading warmth on your aching thighs.

"Hey," he mutters again, soft eyes looking up through his lashes as you open your own. The beginning of a smile and a small greeting is quickly turned into a wince as his fingers gently lift the hem of your top, to fabric sticking to your skin. "Sorry."

You stay silent, sighing and hissing and biting your lower lip as your eyes stay glued to the ceiling. Chris works in silence, like he always does, and like you always do when the roles are reversed. What is there to talk about? You both know it hurts, you both know the other is sorry that they're hurting you, and it's part of the job. But the silence isn't really about your wounds right now, and you're too mortified to even glance at his face. His bottom lip is probably stuck between his teeth, eyebrows set into a focused frown, hands steady as yours still tremble from this encounter.

"All done." Hands gently pressing a bandage to your wound then sliding back to your thighs, a sigh escaping his lips.

You meet his gaze and there's this small pause where you gaze into someone's eyes and both of you are serious but you don't know if it's truly serious or if you should laugh. You raise your eyebrows, slowly, gradually, until a smirk makes its way on your fellow agent's lips.

"You do have bits of…red stuff…in your hair."

You chortle, throwing your head back, tension in the shoulders easing.

You put your hands on his shoulders as your legs spread to let him get closer to you, between your knees, and as you look down to him and his locks you feel a sense of comfort wash over you - it's been a month, and you’ve missed his hair and the smell of his shampoo.

"You could have warned me," you say. Fingers trail along his neck, beard tickling your palm and fingers. Traces of his last undercover mission are almost gone - shaven head and this sort of big goatee. It wasn’t your favorite look on him ; and now he’s gone back to this softer version of himself.

"Yeah, well, that’s kinda hard when you disappear undercover for a month, right?"

He does have a point. He holds your gaze for a moment, a slight crease between his brows, and you exhale softly, watching as he looks down to your bare stomach, bloody shirt discarded on the cold floor.

"I'm sorry. You know how it works."

"Yeah, I do."

A small pause, where you both get closer, fingers tangling in his hair, tugging, scratching.

"Maybe you can make it up to me."

"I have bits of brain in my hair." Chris' lips find the sensitive spot behind your ear, along your neck, your collarbones. Protests dying away and replaced by whimpers, already desperate for more. It has been a long month.

"Good thing we're in the bathroom, right?"

Hot breath on your skin, face nuzzling between your breasts, down your stomach, carefully avoiding your bandage as your back arches. It doesn't take long for you to find yourself pressed against a tile wall, legs wrapped around his bare body, limbs quivering - pleasure, the exhaustion of the day and the last month.

The sound of water hitting your bodies before crashing on the floor is enough to conceal your frantic heartbeats, strangled whimpers and mutters, feverish pleas. A fuck escapes your lips in the form of a low moan, Chris’ lips crashing into yours in an attempt to hold in the sound. A hungry kiss, sweet, loving, yearning.

"I've missed you - so - much." It comes out as three little gasps, matching each thrust into your body, each time your back hits the wall, each time you feel like you're finally complete. The pull in your chest, heart - it's so fierce. It almost hurts, how much you've missed him.

"Every day - " A muffled moan, fingers digging into the skin of his tense back. "I was just trying - to come back to you."

Skin prickling and tingling as droplets of water follow the curve of your tangled bodies, chills running down your spines, he buries his face into the crook of your neck as the last thrust takes all the strength that was left in your body. And as you're left quivering and panting and heaving, in this daze, there's this shared gaze that holds a thousand moments - everything it took to get here. Dodging, hitting, ducking, kicking, shooting, stabbing. Blood splattered on your face, the taste of iron in your mouth, the smell of death forever rooted in your senses. The lethal instinct that overtakes your whole body and mind when you have to fight your way home.

A throaty laugh resonates in the bathroom, traces of blood on the floor soon wiped clean, sewing kit back to the white closet right above that plant you insisted on buying specifically for his bathroom, ruined shirt thrown into a corner as if the laundry basket wasn't right next to him - you don't comment on that, relishing the feeling of a warm towel on your skin with your eyes closed and head thrown back. Different moans this time, as you get dressed painfully.

It takes a few minutes for someone to talk again, steam still fogging up the room, warmth embracing you. The mirrors are misty, and so is your mind. You roll your head from right to left, make your neck crack, stretch as far as your body lets you.

"Well," Chris drawls out lazily, visibly fighting a smirk. "I have to go back. I suppose you want to stay in my room and avoid further humiliation?"

You huff, dragging a hand across your face. "Scared I'm gonna start another extremely graphic depiction of my mission? I bet she wants to hear more about bits of scattered brain."

You wince as your hear yourself - it's gross.

"I really wish you had told me your mother was in town."

#togwc #destroyer #destroyer!chris x reader #destroyer!chris x you

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