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nelkcats · 8 months

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Lost Contact

Danny fell in love with Bruce Wayne in college. If he was completely honest with himself he didn't even know about Gotham or the outside world by that point, he just knew he had to get away from home for a while and complete his studies.

He didn't expect to run into a playboy billionaire who was supposedly very dumb at his college; Danny knew better, he could tell the difference between the act and the real Bruce, someone truly thoughtful, caring and very smart, but no one but him noticed so he didn't say anything.

They became very good friends despite their obvious latent crush and on graduation day Danny was about to confess when he got a call from home asking for help with the GIW. The halfa had no choice but to say goodbye not wanting to get Bruce in his mess.

When he returned to Gotham months later he learned that Bruce was gone, his butler informed him that he would be back but didn't know when and the halfa returned to Amity in disappointment. He decided to take over the Realms for a while and distract himself with all the responsibilities he had been avoiding.

Years later he was called for a college reunion. Danny was very nervous, he hadn't kept in touch with the outside world but his core was still glowing for the billionaire, he wondered if Bruce would remember him.

Despite his plan to confess his old feelings (and pretend they no longer existed), Danny was unable to do anything but look at Bruce who greeted him with a smile and a small child at his side. The halfa grimaced, maybe he was married?

Bruce seemed excited to see him again and exchanged his contact, asking him not to go off the radar again, the halfa felt a little guilty about it. They continued to communicate over the years. Danny noted with amusement how his crush kept adopting children and calling him for a dinner at the mansion.

#dpxdc #ghost king danny #Danny met Bruce in college #They were not in the same major #and Danny wanted to avoid the millionaires #but he heard the rumors and was curious #If Brucie was so stupid why was he studying something so demanding?#It wasn't long before he found him in person #and fell in love a little #They became friends #dp x dc #dc x dp #Bruce was also interested in Danny #Danny has no contact with the world outside of Amity and the Realms #and he is not interested in reading the newspapers either #It's kind of funny in retrospect #Danny didn't confess because he didn't want to entangle Bruce with the GIW and the ghosts #Bruce did not confess because he did not want to involve Danny with his revenge and Batman #They're idiots #Danny is going to see Selina at some point and think that they are married or something

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egophiliac · 8 months

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I love your take on Crowley!

I know that the early, non-Diasomnia stories aren't really your thing, but are you reading the novels at all?

I have been following some of the fan translations and the second book seems intense! Would love to hear what you think about them.

thank you! 💚💚💚 I'm not really sure why you think I don't like the earlier arcs though, I love pretty much all the characters and their storis! (I think 5 and 1 are my favorite of the past episodes, though 6 infected me with the Shroud brainrot something fierce.) I just...ESPECIALLY love diasomnia. :') but there is room in my heart for all of these dweebs! like, who among us is not just as ride-or-die for Adeuce as they are for us.

that said, I don't really follow the other adaptations like the manga (aside from a dip-in just to see the new Yuus) or the novels, though I keep meaning to check them out! I do like seeing the differences between the different forms of media, and how certain things get adapted one way or another! but alas, time/a lack of accessibility stands in our way more often than not. :( someday...someday I will have time to consume all of the media...

#art #twisted wonderland #i have been playing this game since the day it came out #and believe me i could not have stuck with it for the past three and a half years if i was not deep into all of these idiots #not to harp on it but i do think it's funny because i actually. really did not like the diasomnias at first.#it was like a month before their cards/personal stories were added and so we knew almost NOTHING about them #the website descriptions basically make everyone sound awful #so i thought they were kind of mean/boring compared to everyone else!#(except maybe lilia but i was mad at him for the two seconds of 'girl? 👀' hope i had when they were revealed)#but once their cards came out i fell just as hard for them as i did the rest of this silly game #well. sebek took a little longer. but his ketchup incident converted me.#anyway i have so much sentimentality for episode 1 especially #the prologue was like 'oh this is actually a very silly game! oh there is a plot!'#episode 1 was like 'oh i LIKE these characters and what they're doing with them'#(i think ace punching riddle was the moment i decided i REALLY liked this game) (sorry riddle) (you were being a huge dick though)#also...ink drips. ink drips everywhere.#look when i say this game is laser-focused at me and my tastes specifically i am not kidding

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skywerse · 29 days

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the eepening

#PRETZEL AU #i imagine that gillion lets pretzel sleep in his barrel #and then he proceeds to jump in chips bunk with a shit eating grin on his face saying they're having a sleepover #and pretzel is kinda scared to sleep on her own #so she always either ends up eeping with jay on the top bunk or squished between these idiots #and then in the morning she quietly hops in the barrel before gill wakes up #jay knows about this #chip too because she probably smacked him a dozen times when sleeping #gill doesn't have a fucking clue #but they just kinda roll with it #holy shit is that a just roll with it reference???#also i thought chip's bunk not having a safety rope is kinda on brand #he would not bother with that shit #so once in a while either he or gillion are yeeted across the quarters and they treat it like a competition #jay participated in it once and never again #she still holds the record of being rattled around the quarters the most #canon to me #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #jay ferin #chip jrwi #jrwi fnc

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things-stronger-than-fear · 4 months

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literally in another universe snowbairdplinth could've been THE revolution. they wouldn't even really need any allies, lbr.

like, between coryo's cunning, sej's conscience, and lucy gray's charisma? the snow name, the plinth fortune, the baird d12 but neither district nor capitol pedigree?

coryo could've actually been like, panem's first 20-year-old president, who outlaws the hunger games and who the districts still listen to because he has sej and lucy gray on side. and yeah maybe coryo still kills a bunch of people but like whatever, no one really bats an eye -- who's gonna mourn gaul, anyways? no one in the districts, that's for sure. even if gaul didn't suck ass they'd be busy with cool covey music and awesome new legislation.

in a better universe i am 100% certain snowbairdplinth could've managed a fairly bloodless revolution, six decades early.

#they're all idiots in canon but if they listened to each other?#if coryo opened up to the idea that control could be achieved through means other than brutality?#if sej started thinking through his rebellious plots for more than five minutes and used his money to affect large-scale change?#if lucy gray willingly inserted herself into politics for the good of the nation?#ugh we could've had it allllllLLLLL #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #sejanus plinth #snowbaird #snowjanus #snowbairdplinth #snowjanusbaird #<- idk what the proper ship name is T-T #at this point i'm gonna start tagging all my bullshit aus with #fuck coriolanus' canon asshattery

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thefrsers · 1 year

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#help her jesus #her children are idiots

#911 #911onfox #911edit #6x16 #athena grant #athena grant-nash #athenagranedit #henrietta wilson #hen wilson #chimney han #gifs #mine #asdlfjasldkjf Athena really said idk her lmaoooo #these churren of hers be trying her last nerves with their tom foolery #i bet she went home and told Bobby to deal with HIS children cos when they're bad they're his LIKE IMAGINE #and then next thing you know shes arresting Bobby and Eddie cos lets be honest their time is coming #poor mama aint getting paid enough for her family's shenanigans #but those are her idiots so issa ok cos she lurves them :3

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spacedace · 9 months

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I don't know where this came from but here:

Damian, Jon and Elle are working out at the Teen Titan gym. Jon notices that Elle has stopped and is just staring at Damian and decides to sidle on over, both to tease his girlfriend and join her in watching their boyfriend go ham in the fight simulation program.

Jon: Enjoying the view?

Elle: huh? Oh no - well, yeah obviously, but that's not why I'm staring

Jon: Oh? What's up then? Something wrong with D?

Elle: No, nothing like that, it's just...

Jon: Just?

Elle: Does he pluck his eyebrows to be that shape?

Jon: ...what?

Elle: It just occured to me that his eyebrows are like, shaped like the wings of the bat symbol. Does he pluck them them to get that shape? Or are they natural? I mean, Batcow's "mask" is natural so...

Jon, a dawning realizationin his eyes: ...I - they've been that way since we were kids...

Elle: Yeah, I've seen pictures, but it's Day. Can you really tell me he wouldn't start doing it as a kid to as like a "see I'm totally the superior child, I even my eyebrows are dedicated to the cause" and then have to keep it up forever cause he couldn't just admit he was plucking his brows into that shape when he was a little bratty kid.

Jon: Oh my god he totally would

Damian finishes up at the simulation area and wanders over to his two partners to see what they're talking about

Damian: Hey-

Jon & Elle: Are your eyebrows real?!

Damian stops. States at them. Turns on his heel and just walks away from them without a word with both of them immediately chasing after him badgering him about his eyebrows.

(It takes another three months but they do eventually catch him painstakingly plucking his brows for that optimal Bat-Wing look)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #jon el kent #jon kent #jon lane kent #damien wayne #super serious chaos #they are three of the smartest people in the world and usually the smartest people in the room #but also they share a single braincell and like the fates from the movie Hercules they end up fighting over it & usually drop it #Damian plays it off like he's the one with the braincell here but let's be real #Simultaneously Jon & Elle are sharing it and no one has it #Jon & Elle when thry finally catch Damian plucking his brows for that perfect batwing arch: why don't you just use makeup #Damian unwilling to admit he's never thought of that in all these years: impractical #they're idiots your honor #but idiots *in love*

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veinsfullofstars · 1 month

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“Quit laughin’, ya bastard, I’m dyin’ over here! Get me some starsdamn milk, for cryin’ out loud!”

(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of Dark Meta Knight and Daroach, in which lunch is interrupted by a disagreement on spicy food and some improper use of the Sharing mechanic. Transcript below the cut. END ID.)

Based on a personal headcanon that DMK enjoys spicy food and Daroach vehemently does not.

UPDATE: I foRGOT HIS EYE SCAR?? HeLLO??? (fixed it now but starsdamn it this is why I shouldn't post stuff the second I finish heck dang it all veins get some sleep would you)

Started 04/06/24, finished 04/09/24.

---

Transcript:

Panel 1

*DMK and DR sitting side-by-side enjoying some lunch together - a sandwich for the thief, a plate of spicy curry for the knight. DMK (his mask pushed up to the side of his head, bits of curry stuck to his face) idly eats his meal with a fork as DR picks up and scrutinizes a small bottle of hot sauce the knight had set aside, a brow raised in disappointment.*

DR: “Ultra spicy,” huh? Blech. How can you stand this stuff, Dark? Like, can you even taste anythin’ anymore? (Besides pain?)

Panel 2

DMK: Aw, c’mon, it’s not that bad. Here, want a bite~?

*setting his fork upright in the curry, DMK pushes his plate aside and turns towards DR with the most mischievous expression, reaching up to grab the collar of his cape. DR turns his head sharply, dropping the bottle and the sandwich, as the knight starts tugging him towards him.*

DR: What’re you-? Hey! No! No! Don’t you friggin’ dare, Dark, I swear to Nova-

Panel 3

*DMK stands up and yanks DR down towards his face, a hand clasped on the back of the thief’s head to hold him there. DR flinches (VFX: two large exclamation points), knocked off his feet and holding his paws out in surprise. A wisp of steam rises from between them, curling into a little pink heart at the top. Text reading “*Face-to-Face SFX*” hovers behind DMK.*

Panel 4

*DR jerks away from DMK, red-faced and doubled over in pain, his eyes squeezed shut and his tongue hanging out with a fresh red burn on the end, steam emitting from his face in puffs. He frantically fans at his mouth with one paw while shoving DMK away with the other.*

DR: (breaking the dialogue bubble in places) AAGH!! Ow! Star-burnin’ son-of-the-void what is wrong with you piece a’- aaaughh dammit stars dammit ow ow ow ow!!

*DMK cackles, leaning away with one arm held up against the rat’s pushing paw, one eye shut and mouth stretched open in a wide smile, a single incisor prominent within and a touch of blush at the corner. Text reading “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA” hovers behind him surrounded by laugh lines.*

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wispforever · 4 months

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they already got the party platter actually. it came with enough alcohol for ten people

#naruto #kakuhida #hidakaku #kakuzu #hidan #i think what people always forget #is that they're BOTH idiots #not very noticeable but I need everyone to know that Hidan's headband IS upside down around his neck #kakuzu would be a quiet drunk but if you get him talking he says outrageous shit #Hidan is a mood swing drunk. whatever emotion he's feeling gets magnified ten fold #but mostly he's confused and worried #unless he's mad then he gets in a barfight with a mirror and knocks himself out

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lovinglapislazuli · 10 months

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At last, after three weeks of work, the color wheel is complete! This cast is so endearing to me, there's something nice to say about each one of them! I can't wait for more people to get to know them :D Thanks to the staff for this nice season 🥳

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Prompt 116

Give Battinson robins but it’s DCxDP style with ghosts.

His kids are… technically not from his world and technically not alive either, but that doesn’t stop him from adopting them. Even if he wasn’t aware of them being literal ghosts for the first few hours of encountering them.

How did they get here? Well, you see, sometimes child ghosts will run into each other, and they’ll form their own little friend groups. Or family groups. Especially if they lack a guardian. Who would tell them not to mess with natural portals.

Or to kidnap a phantom to play with them, but hey he’s enjoying himself too and has a puppy! The bestest boy!

Bruce was not prepared for some sort of energy-thing to open and spit out a good half a dozen children. Nor was he prepared for these children to all have powers, or for another child (thankfully a teen) to fall into the cave a few weeks later.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #battinson #prompts #Dick died alongside his parents when the line snapped #Barbara died to the mob when her father refused to be bribed #Jason died out in the cold on the streets after surviving for a year #Cass died after escaping her father- training for killing doesn’t always translate to training for survival #Tim died from neglect alone in his parents’ home while it was covered up #Steph died before her mother tried to get help with her addictions #Duke died from an attack in the narrows #Damian died from a ‘trainer’ who wanted revenge against Talia & Ras #Danny was searching for his ghost friends with Cujo's help but tripped #It all worked out though #Bruce sobbing to Alfred: Why are there so many hurt children #Bruce grabbing all of them including Danny: My children now #He gets horrifyingly good at picking up stealth what with his kids being literal ghosts #Gets a bit of a mom sense for whenever they're doing something they shouldn't #Some idiot: I shall kill the Robins!#Batman:#Y'know what the robins deserve star cores #with big bro space core danny #god can you imagine if battinson became liminal lol

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assiraphales · 5 months

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Also in Kaya's mansion, whenever Nami asks Luffy how her fit looks, Luffy always unhelpfully answers she just looks "like Nami".

Whereas the second he sees Zoro he immediately goes "Hey, Zoro! :D" yet again & ASKS WHAT HE'LL WEAR, as if he cares more for what Zoro will wear than what Nami wears???

(& Luffy does care, cuz he changes to a black vest to match Zoro... when Zoro stopped Nami from wearing black cuz Zoro wants to be the only one wearing black... but no he allows/won't stop Luffy wearing black too, I-)

I think if I was nami I would have murdered them (/j)

#INSUFFERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm a true believer that this is how luffy acts around zoro in the anime and manga. but its just more spread out #in these episodes you REALLY notice his “HEY ZORO!!!!!”s #zolu #all luffys are obsessed w their first mate and think he's THE coolest (even tho they're both silly idiots) I don't make the rules #one piece

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tswwwit · 3 months

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I feel like if Dipper were ever reincarnated as a demon, he wouldn't fit in super well with the others. Yes, he's been raised to vie for power and step on everyone in his way using whatever means is necessary - it's the same toxic bizz as when he was a human, appealing to gender norms. He's tougher, scarier, more powerful (than ordinary humans, that is), but when it comes to asserting control - being Evil - he doesn't have it in him. Given enough time, I think he'd grow pretty vocal about leaving living things alone. NOT torturing organisms for the hell of it, or stealing people's souls, or conquering planets. Sure, he's a demon. That's no excuse to be a MONSTER.

It's a VERY unpopular opinion amongst neighboring demons, and rumor spreads fast about the Goody Two-Shoed Activist imp raining on everyone's blood-splattered parade, so much so that it makes it to Bill, who's immediately intrigued. Call it intuition, but only one soul's capable of overriding goddamn demon nature for some preachy bullshit about "Doing Good." Lucky for him, demons occupy the same plane of existence, so all it really takes to verify the guy is a snap of his fingers, and POOF! He's floating right next to him. Sure enough, Dipper's fashioned himself a new and improved demonic form, and it is lovely!

No one likes Dipper's kumbaya "Can't We All Just Get Along" ideology, but Bill's almost instantly smitten with the guy, whoever he is, so he's gotta be at least somewhat powerful. Demons take notice when the all-powerful Bill Cipher starts lending his time (and magic?) to some low-leveler like Dipper. Is he being blackmailed? Are they working together? No. Not possible. Bill doesn't "work" with anyone, save for whatever human catches his eye every few decades. Doesn't look to be doing him any benefit, either. The opposite, even. Lending power to a saint like Dipper only makes it harder to cause chaos, after all. Why would he actively go against his OWN best interest to cater some imp's? It's almost like he's. He's.

A henchmen.

(Bill's also 30% more affectionate the first month they reunite, because he still can't believe that his adorable little human husband came back as the same SPECIES as him! He'd never complain over having a sweet human to squeeze, but one with teeth and claws and cute pointy ears doesn't hurt).

#answers #I can't help but picture demon dipper starting out all like #I'm Bad 😡 I'm Mean 😡 I'm Evil As Heck!! 😡#And still having a HUGE hatred for things that are Unfair or Unjust. One time he saved a kitten from a tree and got embarrassed about it #Eventually he just has to give into his nature and speak up about all the BULLSHIT he sees going on around him #Sorry Dippin' Dots even the society that 'raised' you can't prevent you from your do-gooder ways #Don't worry Bill loves you for the stupid idiot you are #Everyone is completely BAFFLED by Bill acting like a friggin' henchman though #I bet they don't even peg it as romantic interest at first. Dipper sure doesn't #He's thinking this is some Grand Scheme to convince him back into the evil fold #And to be fair Bill's very tempting in that respect. But not leaning as hard into it as he *could* be #Maybe he thinks Bill's trying to 'mentor' him for something. Seems like the kind of thing Bill would imply and let Dipper fill in the gaps #They're technically not the same SPECIES since Dipper's probably some human-shaped 'demon'#And Bill's originally from a two-dimensional weird universe. Technically speaking he's His Own Thing #Aside from whatever refugees escaped that plane. If any.#Demon covers a LOT of different beings that don't have much or any genetics in common #But you KNOW Bill's thrilled as hell that Dipper's Slightly More Immortal than usual!! This one's gonna last a WHILE #*slams fist on table* Give Dipper A Tail With A Tuft That Bill Can Pull To Be Annoying #Final thought: In this incarnation Bill might have been wondering where the hell Dipper got to since there's no human around #Given a long enough time he might even wonder if he was LOST #So you know that when Dipper reemerges on the scene everyone else was dealing with a VERY unhappy Bill Cipher for QUITE a while

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mxboxlocks · 9 months

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just a bunch of doodles of RED doing what they do best: getting drunk and dancing like idiots

#team fortress 2 #team fortress two #tf2 #tw: alchohol mention #tw: alcohol #tf2 engineer #tf2 fanart #tf2 soldier #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #boys will be boys yknow #i love them #i personally think they party all the time #even spy #because he's also an idiot in his own way #they're all their own flavor of moron

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hitlikehammers · 2 months

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Starring Steve Harrington in a Leading Role as 'Mom Husband Disappointed in YOU PERSONALLY'

rating: teen tags: future fic, established relationship, Eddie commits a capital offense, bitchy Steve strikes again, Eddie loves him so much, married steddie, rockstar husbands ✨for @hbyrde36 at my BIRTHDAY MONTH PROMPT FEST for the prompt: “I assume I deserve this, but can you tell me why you want to kill me this time?”

One look is all it really takes.

As in: Eddie doesn’t have to do more than pulls his key from the lock, kick the door closed behind him, open his mouth to spill his usual litany of adorations, multiple at least tenfold for the uncommon days—plural, two whole days—spent apart from his husband, from his beloved, from less his other half and more his entire whole, the soul and breath of him, the rhythm-maker of his heart entire, his—

Eddie gets so far as turning to start on spilling all the love he’s had to bottle up because Steve wasn’t next to him for a whole 63 hours, and voicemails are fine, phone calls are nice, texts are a gift from god but also the bane of his existence because they’re starting to pretend—as in, the wider-world-of-they—but they’re starting to pretend they’re sufficient, that they’re enough and, and…

Fucking never.

But Eddie’s been gone—label negotiations, shit they were digging their heels on being in person for no goddamn reason, as proven by the actual days in person—and now, as he takes in his husband at the island, sat on one of the bar stools, those legs danged low and crossed at the ankles, the fucking socks on him tantalizing, good goddamn, but he’s leans back from the waist and those…those arms. Crossed over his chest.

That’s never meant anything other than judgement. Than what the kids used to term Mom’s disappointed in you personally.

Except Steve is his partner. His til-death-do-us-part-and-then-some. And…

Oh. Oh, he’s got his glasses on when he’s not working—Eddie scans the countertop for papers, nothing obvious—which only enhances the effect of the look; gives it a whole new dimension of accusation as he looks over the tops of the frames and lets his gaze fucking…just sear into Eddie. Uncompromising. No mercy.

Eddie will not try to pretend his doesn’t fucking gulp, the violent motion of his throat around it undoubtedly obvious: but Steve doesn’t budge. Doesn’t grant him quarter.

Fuck. Right. Okay.

Diffusion tactics.

“I assume I deserve this,” Eddie starts, pitches the words to land gentle because, well, they’re honest. Steve’s a fucking drama queen, absolutely: but it’s never been without his reasons, and Eddie loves him with his everything, right, so he respects his reasons.

Even when they’re fucking absurd.

But there’s no evidence here yet either way, about the what, about the cause of the sheer fucking inferno blazing in those eyes, the venom that Eddie can almost taste in the air that seeps from his lips for just breathing, that could probably land a death blow on its own when he actually deigns to speak, and so: yeah.

Eddie does assume he deserves it, one way or another. Because Steve loves him with his everything, too, like for like and then some, both ways and all ways. So he doesn’t react quite like this; doesn’t pull this sort of shit lightly.

“But” and he’s still picking his way through the minefield, takes only the barest step closer palms open near his hips, plaintive-like as he…yeah, kinda he pleads:

“Can you tell me why you want to kill me this time?”

Steve—okay, so, in any other circumstance: the sounds Steve makes, the guttural fucking growl that rumbles from his chest: that’d be hot as shit.

In fact it’s still hot as shit, but: not the time. Because those eyes are still…like, third-degree-burn to the touch.

“You lied.”

Eddie blinks, because…he hears Steve’s words. They’re very simple, and very clear.

But they’re nonsensical.

“What?”

“You lied to me.” And then Steve’s grabbing something behind him, flinging it closer to where Eddie stands at the end of the island and oh, okay, a magazine and—

Oh. Oh.

Okay.

A magazine with Eddie on the front with some…

Wait.

“Stevie,” and Eddie’s not gonna be placating, he’s not going to be evasive or dismissive—Steve knows the other party hanging off Eddie in the photo, it’s Lance, the band’s media intern who has a not-so-secret infatuation with Steve of all people, and is about to be replace by a kid, Marvin maybe, in his senior year in PR and media studies who, honestly, Eddie suspects may have an even bigger infatuation with his husband, but that’s not a concern for right now; the concern for right now is that Steve’s looking at Eddie, glancing every half-second toward the photo again and looking…somewhere between enraged and betrayed.

And it’s so fucking sour in Eddie’s chest, god: he needs to fix it. He’s just, he’s got to fic it but—

He doesn’t know what the hell it even is.

“Baby, I would never, not ever lie to you. And you know Lance,” Eddie tries to point out soothing, rational, no hint of patronizing because he wouldn’t, he would never, especially not like this.

Steve’s scowl just depends, and he taps hard enough on the page to leave an indent, to score a line with his nail.

Right. Okay.

“Stevie—“

“You,” and Steve leans toward the far side, grabs something out of view before he points the something at Eddie almost threateningly:

“Lied.”

“Steve,” and Eddie’s eyeing the instrument leveled at him carefully before he notes what it actually is: a pen.

A red pen and oh. His Stevie. Always the consummate educator.

And Steve does the growling thing again, probably because Eddie’s face goes lax, all soft and shit in the face of Steve being all competent in his profession in the small, sweet ways that pop up all the time, that Eddie loves so deep, so hard, but then Steve’s scribbling and oh, it’s one of the fancy pens, more like a marker that’s bright against the magazine gloss and he’s circling, he’s making arrows, there’s no rhyme or reason—

“Lies!” Steve declares, definitive as he throws down the pen and shoves the marked-up photo toward Eddie so it’s skids across the island, so Eddie has to catch it, and he squint a second, tries to make sense of what’s circled over and again and—

“You fucking promised me,” and Steve…yeah.

Steve sounds like Mom’s disappointed in him personally to a fucking T.

But so much worse again: because this is his husband.

“I did—“

“No!” Steve cuts him off; “no more bullshit,” and oh, fuck, Eddie knows it’s serious, that word’s got a premium still in their household, and then Steve’s leaning closer pointing forcefully at the image, at the red-ringed offenders:

“That,” Steve snarls; “is fucking frizz, Edward,” and Steve looks up at him, again, some combination of livid and offended on principle; “why did I even bother to pack you the conditioner that you swore to me you’d use—“

“I did, Stevie!” Eddie protests, pleads for leniancy; “I did, I swear, my bag got delayed the first night, it was only that first night that I showered without it,” and fuck, how’d they even get that photo, how the fuck did it get to print and in Steve’s hands even, how—

“You cannot maintain your curl pattern without proper maintenance,” Steve grits through clenched teeth and yes, yes: Eddie knows. He’s learned, and learned again, and learned some more, for…for years.

He kinda loves it. But he’ll never love making his husband sad. So, because he’s skilled on his feet, he tries for a compromise. A Hail-Mary, in sports ball speak—or he thinks that’s the right thing to call it.

“Maybe you can salvage it,” Eddie proposes, damn-near begs, and yeah, yes: he means that wholehearted, too; “maybe we can go upstairs and you can save it?”

And Eddie’s not even trying to make his eyes big, knows Steve’s largely immune unless he chooses not to be, but his eyes are stinging for how wade they’re stretched, and he holds the gaze, stares pitifully at Steve, pleads so hard, and then—

Steve smacks Eddie’s forearm with the rolled-up magazine and makes to leave the room; Eddie just stands, a little frozen, a little bewildered, until—

“Well, get your ass up here,” he hears from the staircase; “you better hope I can work miracles, dipshit, else your photocalls are gonna be stringy and sad all goddamn week.”

And Eddie grins because like: he knows his husband—and the man himself is already kind of a miracle.

So miracle working is kinda his area of expertise.

permanent tag list (comment to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690

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