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#they’re so basic and ugly
reticent-fantasies · 7 months
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This is what the new PWHL jerseys are giving
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yourqueenb · 10 months
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Top 5 ugliest MCS
1. It Lives in the Woods - So even though I’ve never played this series, these MCs are without a doubt the worst I’ve ever seen. Even if I liked horror, I don’t think I could play this book because of how bad they are. And I’m sorry, but the white one is especially awful. She looks like she farted and is annoyed with herself because it smells really bad
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2. The Heist: Monaco - I’ve said this before, but these MCs are just really weird looking to me. I remember scrolling through the faces for so long when this book first came out because I was really at a loss about which one to pick
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3. High School Story - These ones look really off to me, and I can’t put my finger on why. And it doesn’t help that none of the hairstyles fit their heads properly. They all look like they just threw $30 synthetic wigs on top of their heads and called it a day
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4. Ride or Die - Ok so I don’t find all of these faces ugly. The middle two are actually pretty cute, but I’ve always hated the ones on the ends. They look sickly for like no reason
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5. These from TPS and ILB - I was trying to keep it to full sets of MCs from the same books, but I had to single these out because they’re far worse than the others in their stories
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And then an honorable mention goes to this MC from Witness
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I know this is just one of the TE faces in lipstick, but that’s why she’s here. They really did her ass dirty with that lipstick. I don’t think it’s her color at all. And she looks kinda clownish due to that in combination with her sharpie eyebrows
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…we may have bought too much art at Fanime.
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moonchildwildheart · 1 year
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Really feeling a certain type of way(hurt? Confused? All of the above?) cause all the way up until Abby said this I was literally thinking about how obsessed I was with Maxine’s outfit. I also appreciate knowing I’m not the only one who refers to their clothing as “ugly cute”
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sttoru · 2 months
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𝝑𝑒 synopsis. tired of the continuous bullying you’re receiving from the other concubines, you finally decide to stand up for yourself. the tension dulls when lord sukuna breaks the fight up.
tags. true form!ryomen sukuna x concubine!reader. sfw - angst kinda, little suggestive. mentions of bullying. violence. fighting. vile language. reader gets referred to as a ‘bitch, slut, whore’ by the concubines. reader gets referred to as ‘brat, woman’ by sukuna. not beta read bcs im sleepy. @ohimsummer, thank you for the idea LOL
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you’re tired. tired of being treated like less by the others in sukuna’s harem. they’re salty—jealous—because of the shameless favoritism sukuna shows. you’re his favorite, the one he can’t seem to get enough of.
that’s exactly why you’re on the floor right now. you’ve fallen to your knees after tripping over a concubine’s foot. you were passing by to go to your headquarters, though apparently such a mundane thing can’t happen in this place without some woman interfering in the worst way possible.
“oops,” the blonde one laughs as she sees you on the wooden floor. you’re covered in food and some. . . gooey beverage. you don’t know what it is, but it’s making everything feel uncomfortably sticky. your clothes, your fingers, your skin. it’s starting to itch.
“should’ve looked where you were going,” another girl chimes in. the brunette. she feigns pity and throws a handkerchief in your face, causing the other concubines to giggle. there are three of them in total. they always stick together to bully you.
the one with green eyes speaks up as well, “now now, don’t be so harsh to the poor slut! she’s got no brain to use after all.”
the other two laugh as you try your best to stay calm. you’re always telling yourself to be the bigger person in difficult situations. you’re clenching your hands into fists, your body basically trembling in anger. you want to swing. to show them that you’re worthy of respect.
“aww, she’s gonna cry,” the blonde one pouts—a mocking pout that gets on your nerves. the laughs sounding from the trio are like nails on a chalkboard. you want to make it stop. you’re tired of keeping it civil, when they have never tried doing the same.
your eyes land on the serving tray next to your hands. the one they emptied on your head ‘by accident’. you take a deep breath and try to remind yourself that it’s probably best to go wash up. they desperately want a reaction out of you and you refuse to give it to them.
despite it all, you’re mad. you’ve gone through enough of this. all because of sukuna’s favoritsm. all because you’re you.
they’re salty that they can never be you. you’ve seen their pathetic attempts to put you down yet simultaneously try and copy your entire existence. thinking that would somehow get them in your position as sukuna’s favorite.
you’re sick and tired of it. today’s the day you show them exactly that. you’re going to show those women that you can and will beat some sense into them.
“oy, dumb slut, answ—” the blonde is interupted before she could finish her sentence. a loud bang reverberates through the hallway and everyone falls silent.
she’s the one on the floor now instead of you. you’re up, the wooden tray in your hands, the one you just used to smack the life out of her. she’s whimpering and holding her red cheek. a nasty bruise is sure to form on her skin; deserved.
“i’ll answer you, alright,” you mumble under your breath. you’re panting as the adrenaline keeps pumping. you stand over her and lift up the serving platter in the air once more—bringing it down over and over against her head, which she’s trying to shield with her hands.
the other two concubines are frozen in pure shock. you’re not thinking anymore. you’re on autopilot. the woman’s yelps and screeches are music to your ears. “hah. you sound as ugly as you look,” you spit on her, watching the blood trickle down the corner of her mouth. you lift your arms up to bring the wooden platter down on her body again, but you’re stopped.
the green eyed concubine had moved first. she grabs your wrists with one hand and smacks you across the face with the other. “have you lost your mind?!” she yells and raises her hand to slap you again. the disrespect you’re showing clearly was not expected nor is it welcomed.
“don’t you fucking touch me,” you kiss your teeth. you’re glaring at her with pure hatred. you push and slap her right back. you’re sure the blonde won’t be up for a while now—she’s done for.
you don’t know if you went a bit overboard with it, considering she’s barely conscious anymore, but you couldn’t care less at the moment.
you’re surprised when the third concubine yanks your hair. “oh, you little bitch!” the brunette grabs a bunch of your hair with both hands and tugs at it to drag you down on the floor. you wince in pain but quickly pull at her own brown locks. you struggle to keep your balance and your scalp aches.
you hate it when women go for your hair when fighting, though luckily you know your way out of it. you take a deep breath and bring her head down, lifting your left leg up at the same time. her forehead comes crashing down on your knee and she loosens her grip on your hair.
“disgusting,” you huff and take the opportunity to push her fragile body aside, making her trip over the blonde girl on the floor. you can’t help but think that your current state is quite similar to a certain someone.
the violence. the seething anger. you’ve seen this scene way too many times before. you’ve learnt it from him.
your thoughts are interrupted by someone pulling the back of your hair, causing you to stumble backwards. “a whore like you needs to be taught some manners,” the green eyed concubine sniffs and keeps a tight grip on your hair. she delivers a few punches to your face, which you actually struggle to block for a second.
the force hitting your nose makes it bleed. that only angers you further. you gather some saliva in your mouth before spitting it out right in the girl’s eyes. you take your chance and grab her hair, smashing her head against the nearby fusuma. the thin plaster the sliding doors are made out of breaks, and she falls right through into the other room.
“i think you all need to be taught how to act,” you pant and wipe the blood dripping down your chin with the back of your hand. you walk through the opening you made in the frail door, kicking the concubine right in the face as revenge for the nosebleed she gave you.
you crouch down, your fingers tangling into her hair. you yank her head up and stare her right in the eyes. there’s an eerie, dark look in yours. “why can’t you just accept that you’re nothing but trash in your lord’s eyes?” you sneer. you are pitying them instead of the other way around, like how it usually would be.
and they despise it.
“you fucking—” “bitch? slut? whore?” you finish her sentence for her with an exasperated sigh. you’ve heard those insults a thousand times before. it’s nothing new. it’s always the same nasty and repetitive comments. you slap the concubine in front of you again for good measure before standing up, “you should come up with something new. it’s getting boring.”
you walk over to the other two, who are still recovering. you add to your last comment with a shrug, trying to hit them where it hurts, “your repetitiveness explains why lord sukuna rarely calls for you at night. i bet your severe lack of creativity shows even in bed.”
“you’re just a boring and hopeless bunch,” you’re out for blood. the blonde and brunette are looking up at you with fear and the sight excites you for some reason. they’re crawling away, trying to go find someone who would save them. the servants are nowhere to be found. nor is uraume, who usually stops the petty arguments.
they’re terrified by how you’re acting right now. they’re clearly seeing sukuna in you. in your eyes and the aura you’re emitting.
you’re mirroring him, his merciless personality and all included. he’s subconsciously taking over your mind and it’s terrifying them.
your steps are heavy as you walk towards the concubines. you don’t pay attention to the blood trickling down your chin, nor do you care about the ache in your scalp from the earlier hair pulling. all you care about is getting revenge for yourself.
you could complain to sukuna and have him punish them in your place, but that wouldn’t be enough. you’re going to make sure that they don’t try you again any time soon. you grab the blonde by her arm, lifting your fist to punch her—
“oi, brat.”
your eyes widen and you snap out of your mad daze. sukuna’s voice shakes the floors with how loud it is. you whip your head to the side and see his tall figure standing at the end of the hallway—uraume being right behind him. it looks like they were the one that rushed to inform sukuna of the ruckus.
you drop the other concubine and look at the mess. the broken fusuma. the blood splatter on the wooden flooring. your disheveled hair and clothes. your bleeding nose. the crimson stained plate and spilt food that got everywhere.
it’s a complete mess.
sukuna doesn’t utter a word. he just glares right at you. you’re not sure if it’s because of your irresponsible behaviour or the mess you created. or both. he marches over to you and grabs you by the back of your collar with one big hand.
“m-my lord,” you whimper, nearly choking as you’re held up in the air like you weigh nothing, like one would do to a cat’s nape. one of sukuna’s hands keeps you up whilst the others hang limply by his side. his red eyes scan your body, moving up and then back down.
you don’t know what to say. you surely have overstepped a boundary - or multiple - with what you’ve done today. you’ve disturbed the peace in the estate and have caused damage to sukuna’s property. both to his women and the interior of his palace.
you cough up a bit of blood that was stuck in the back of your throat. you’re uncertain of how you should explain yourself. “i’m sorry, my lord. i didn’t know what came over me,” you apologise and look down at the floor below your feet. you’re too embarrassed to look the king of curses in the eyes.
sukuna stays silent. it’s nerve wracking since you have no idea what he’ll do in response to your outburst. his facial expression is blank, so you aren’t able to guess what’s going on in his head. it’s a complete mystery.
however, the tall man is secretly more amused than anything. what you’ve just done, is one of the most interesting things he has seen a human do. sukuna witnessed everything from the beginning to the end and thoroughly enjoyed it. from the way you used that serving plate as a weapon to the way you managed to get out of those concubines’ grasps each time.
it’s strange to sukuna; he felt something when he saw you in action like that.
pride? perhaps that’s it. sukuna can’t pinpoint the exact emotion, though if he were to describe it, the closest word would be indeed pride. he is proud to have discovered and witnessed that untamed side of yours. you’re always full of pleasant surprises that keep even a dangerous curse like him on his toes.
it’s why he will never get bored of you. he wishes to unleash your full potential one day.
sukuna finally breaks the silence with an amused snicker. one of his hands move to wipe the blood from your nose. you cringe when he slowly licks the red liquid from his fingers afterwards—clearly ravishing the metallic taste.
“y’ finally did something, huh?” sukuna grins wickedly. he knows of the harassment you’ve been going through and he couldn’t wait to see you snap like this one day.
it’s sickening that he allows the bullying to continue just for the sake of creating drama, but it’s also worth it to him, since he’s got to unlock a side of you he knew you had buried deep inside. sukuna is a selfish bastard. you know that much, yet you like it when he looks at you with a prideful gaze and grin.
it’s so obvious that sukuna took pleasure in what he’s witnessed. he couldn’t believe how much you actually resembled him in a way.
if he were to be honest: it turned him on like crazy. seeing how you fought back against those women and how nearly deranged you became. the degrading words you spewed. . . sukuna cannot get enough of it. if it were up to him, he’d have let you continue. but for your own sake, he decided against it.
as much as he loves that untamed side of yours, sukuna knew that he couldn’t let you go too far. not because he wants to defend those other women, but because he still needs you to stay sane. going down that path of violence surely will do you more damage than good.
he’ll fully corrupt you - your body and mind - one day. just not today.
sukuna lets you back on your feet after you nearly fail to breathe. he cocks his head to the side, still having a menacing smirk on his face. he roughly pinches your cheek, “it was entertaining, i’ll give you that, woman.”
you wince as sukuna pinches the exact cheek you had a bruise on. he’s never done so before, therefore you don’t have a clue about the meaning behind that gesture. though the compliment told you that he was pleased by the ruckus more than he was annoyed by it.
sukuna still hasn’t bat an eye to the other concubines. they are waiting for their lord to punish you for hurting them, but it all seems to be in vain. they know better than to speak up about that to him. they’re easily replaceable. they know that by now. it’s as clear as day.
you’ve drilled that into their head today.
the king of curses pushes your small body towards uraume and you nearly bump against their chest with how easily he moved you around. uraume catches you in time and helps you stand straight, awaiting their master’s orders.
sukuna checks you out one more time in that disheveled state, before you go back to your formal and reserved self. his interest in you has been piqued by today’s events and he wonders when he can experience that side of yours again. he nods at uraume, “make sure she’s properly taken care of.”
uraume doesn’t waste a single second after being given an order. “understood,” they reply curtly and keep you steady so you could walk with them towards the physician’s quarters.
you look up at sukuna, trying to catch a glimpse of him before you’re taken away. he’s staring right back at you, the corners of his lips twitching into another subtle grin. he’s surprisingly pleased and content with your actions.
however it’s also not so surprising, considering that he loves it when you show any hint of resistance or stubbornness. whether it’d be to him or to his concubines.
sukuna’s facial expression turns cold the moment you’re gone and he’s left with the mess. “she took the words right out of my mouth,” he stares down at the three women on the floor who’re still unable to stand. he’s not helping them up—that’s their own problem, “y’re a pathetic bunch.”
the concubines flinch as they hear the inevitable from their own lord. hearing it from you was frustrating, but hearing it directly from the man that’s taken them in is heartbreaking. they don’t dare look up at him in such pitiful states.
“all three of you,” sukuna addresses them sharply. his arms cross over his chest, a ruthless tone to his voice. the concubines tremble in his presence, though it’s partially still because of the fear you’ve implemented in their systems.
he would’ve killed them off right then and there, though you’ve done enough damage to them both physically and mentally for now.
sukuna however, still couldn’t care less about their wellbeing. their wounds and bruises are something they’ll need to fix on their own.
he points at the floor and broken door with his head before turning around to leave the miserable trio. sukuna leaves them with an order that’s usually left to the servants;
“clean up the damn mess you caused. it better be taken care of before i return. ‘nd i don’t wanna hear a single squeak from any of you about this.”
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pussy-ache · 11 months
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probably should talk to my sister sooner or later
#i need to get myself to care first#my life is absolutely no different without her in it and like. that’s a hard pill to swallow#like i guess it’s the Point. that i should just let it go. but at the same time i honestly just don’t fucking care#like the ONLY difference is the fact that i’m now bearing the weight of elderly dogs by myself#and that’s probably a problem#her personality always drained me and i honestly can say that i probably did the same to her#but again i know that’s Not The Point#it just makes it harder for me to care lmao. it’s like trying to forgive my father. and i’ve been working on that one my whole fucking life#so basically she probably shouldn’t be holding her breath#cuz this whole time my parents have been taking care of the dogs i have been wracked with guilt#thinking about my moms shoulder and my dads knees and just how hard my dogs pull#and now that it’s been temporarily taken out of my hands for 1-2 weeks at a time i see it’s super convenient for my sister to not have to#i’ve had this shared responsibility with her for almost 12 years#this is the first time i’ve had a break (save when i went out of the country a couple times lmao)#so that means i now know how easily she’s choosing her own convenience over being fair with me#her entire point is ‘’this shouldn’t have anything to do with me anymore. they’re not even my dogs’’#like. what? how are they not YOUR dogs and MY dogs and MOMS dogs and DADS dogs. they’re THE FAMILY DOGS like what does that even mean#and then she goes and gets her own 10 pound looking ugly little kick me dog the size of our dogs head#no sorry apparently not ‘’our’’ dogs head#like jesus christ. i just do not have the energy to speak to her#like the amount of allotted energy i have every day literally just exists for work. bed. masturbation. and then work. bed. masturbation.#truly. i can barely function as an adult. she can wait until i have more energy to deal with the low empathy selfishness she exudes
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thomas-is-my-name · 1 year
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So the wolf in the Shrek movies seems to identify as a man, and just happens to wear a pink dress as his outfit of choice. Meanwhile Doris the Ugly Stepsister is definitely a woman while having some masculine features. Then there’s Pinocchio who is unambiguously male (he celebrates becoming a “real boy”) but secretly wears womens’ underwear. And I know this was mainly done for cheap transphobic comedy but like. They’re all basically decent people who are on the heroes’ side and get to live happily ever after, so there’s not reason not to read it completely straight. The only person who shames the wolf for cross-dressing is Fairy Godmother, and she’s a villain so we’re meant to dislike her. Shrek’s extended friend group just contains a lot of genderqueer weirdos who are living their best life and I think that’s great.
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inkykeiji · 1 year
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omg clari sweetie i just read your post about tokyo revengers and LISTEN i hate the time travel plot thingy too but when i tell you i got struck HARD by tokrev i'm not kidding,,,,, like my friends watched it first and i didn't want it to bc of the time-travel but once i saw the first season and got into the manga i just couldn't dig myself out of that hole. i have never hyperfixated so much about a media in my life like i did with tokrev and its characters... not even bnha, jjk, haikyuu!! or bsd. NOT EVEN CLOSE. i'm not lying when i tell you some of the characters and their adult selfs in tokrev are everything you dream about touya-nii and bmb!tomura <33333 you can search ‘bonten’ if you want some insight about what you can find if you give it a chance 👀
ahhhh i dunno anon!! i really don’t feel interested in it. i just looked up how many timelines there are and two separate posts said there are at least six >.< that already sounds so convoluted??? i dunno like maybe it’s handled really well and in a way that isn’t confusing and tangled and is written fantastically; i can’t make any concrete judgements, i don’t know. but there’s genuinely nothing that’s catching my eye here. i love organized crime, but if it’s involved in several people jumping back and forth between the past and the present my interest has withered to ash.
if there’s something specific you think i might actually like about this series that’ll make it worth investing time into, you’re totally welcome to tell me, spoilers and all (tho don’t feel pressured!!! obv you absolutely do not have to! it isn’t ur job to convince me HAHA). otherwise, i think it’s just not for me!
#i searched bonten and all i got was that they’re the most ruthless gang in tokyo#which is great!#but like ????? it’s the so what test#we used to use this in uni to make our writing and essays better#you basically just ask ‘okay; but so what? why do i care?’ it sounds kind of rude but it isn’t supposed to be hahaha#so i’m like#alright cool a super sadistic gang#but so what????????#i don’t care for the characters; i don’t care for the story; i don’t care for the artwork#i can’t find much about the themes or like *why* i’d be interested in this#with bsd it was like okay; it’s got hot guys and organized crime and the literature connection is really really cool#and importantly it (finally!) isn’t a shonen#does that make sense??? like i know the gangs have story revelance obv#but when i say the so what test i just mean for me individually and personally#like i read about it and i’m like ‘so what tho? like why do *i* in particular care?’#idk how else to explain it other than that but i swear it’s meant in a neutral friendly tone hahaha#also okay don’t crucify me but;;;;;; i think the characters are really ugly LMAO#anyway i am once again rambling#i just don’t see the appeal :(#also between you and i parallel universes and time travel and several timelines really spikes my anxiety for reasons i can’t discuss here#genuinely found out about bsd beast and i was like ‘oh god no really?????’ but it felt a lot more like a ‘what if!’ than canon#also the novel was v good#ANYWAY#my apologies anon#i’m glad you enjoy it so much tho!!! that’s awesome and it’s always so heartwarming to find something so special to you <3#i hope u had a great day!!!#stay safe out there and don’t forget to drink water!!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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mavigator · 5 months
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i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.
yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.
he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.
i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.
i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .
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liketolovexx · 2 months
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James Potter is easily the biggest of the three. He’s just so muscular and strong, but in a soft way. He’s got a soft layer of fat protecting his muscles, and I imagine he’s very freckled too. Not sure why. He is the epitome of a golden retriever boyfriend. He likes being the big spoon, and has an INCREDIBLE weak spot for getting his hair played with. Like, it’s literally orgasmic to him. He grew up with everything. Love, money, etc, etc, so he’s probably the touchiest (at first), and is all over you from the start. Also, I think he often forgets his strength and squeezes u too hard and you’ve gotta be like “uh.. Jamie..? You’re.. you’re kinda squeezing-“ and he just puts an arm over ur mouth like “shut up, baby. Sorry. Love you.” He’s adorable.
Remus Lupin is just a normal sized boy, and runs hot like a radiator. Honestly. He doesn’t even need all those knitted sweaters and warm coffee because he just is the embodiment of autumn warmth. He’s littered with silver scars from his lycanthropy, so when u see him naked for the first time, he’s so self conscious. He’d have his arms wrapped around himself, shielding his scars from your view, and you’ve got to prize his hands off of himself. “I’m sorry.. i know they’re not.. appealing.. it’s…” and you’re just like “woah, rem, what? You’re fucking beautiful.” You say that, and he’s yours. He’s not used to love like James is, but he’s probably the one to start getting cuddly. I imagine it’s winter and he’s reading in the common room, and ur shivering because by some miracle the fire isn’t on. He looks up from his book, admiring you for a while and then lifts up his sweater. You SHOOT underneath it and basically curl up like a cat against his bare chest. I repeat: HE IS SO FUCKING WARM. You’d probably have an ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ moment with him at the start of your relationship though. You know when Clementine is saying she always thought she was ugly and Joel starts kissing her and saying “you’re pretty, you’re pretty, you’re pretty…” yeah, you’d be Joel and he’d be Clementine. But once he’s comfortable, he’s a fucking fiend. You’ll never be cold again, trust me.
Sirius Black is skinny and pale. Like a vampire. Endearingly. I imagine he has a nose piercing and an eyebrow piercing, and he’s all tattooed up. Will DEFINITELY get your initial on his abdomen or collarbone in swirly penmanship. Sirius will act like your best friend even when u two are dating. Bless him though, he’s so used to being hurt and abused by those that are meant to protect him that he can’t trust you at first. I think the first time he came to realise you were different is when you asked him what happened after winter break at his parent’s house, because he was being really quiet and flinching a lot which is unlike him. You cornered him in the common room when no one else was there, and asked him “hey, Siri? What’s going on, man? Tell me.” He insisted, “I’m fine. I swear, sweetheart.” You went to tuck his black curls behind his ear but he flinched, which shattered your heart. You said “Sirius, please. I need to know you’re okay, because I need you safe.” And hearing that, he broke down into your arms. From then on, he’s always in your arms. He adores comforting you, because he’s a big brother himself and so he has the instinct, you know? But man, does he fucking adore being in your arms. He WILL curl up beside you wherever you’re sitting or lying, and is always rubbing against you. He always says “I can’t help it, babe, it’s just the dog in me.” Which he seems to find HILARIOUS. Oh yeah, and he literally can’t sleep unless you’re the big spoon or his head is on your chest or in your neck. He likes to feel safe and protected for once, and you do that for him to no end. He’s THE 70s rocker stereotype, and he loves having matching nail polish with you. You’re best friends as well as lovers.
Sorry for yapping to no end guys!!!
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steddietogo · 11 months
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Wait wait. What if Eddie is the one that meets famous Steve and doesn’t know who he is. Now with a Part two!!
They meet at a run down bar Eddie works at which doesn’t get a lot of patrons that are easy on the eye, so Eddie happily responds to the flirting. They exchange numbers and Steve leaves him a hefty tip.
They almost never go out in public, Steve says he has a thing about crowds and Eddie doesn’t think much of it. They spend a lot of time together. Steve’s house is nice and is a lot more quiet than Eddie’s place with the paper thin walls. He lets Eddie work on his novel there whenever he wants.
Steve’s funny and nice and always actively listens to everything Eddie has to say. He meets Robin who narrows her eyes at Eddie the first couple times (Steve swears she’s just over protective) but eventually warms up to him. He also meet the neighborhood teens that constantly barge into Steve’s place to bully him for fun.
Steve who’s an excellent fucking lover, who cooks for Eddie, buys him stuff despite his protests (does that make him his sugar daddy?). Steve who pretends his hair brush is a mic and sings along to Mariah Carey. Steve who always says sorry first. Steve who kisses Eddie like he’s something precious.
Eddie never stood a chance, he’s head over heels in love.
The rude awakening comes one afternoon at Eddie’s place during a dnd session (which he willing hosts to get back at his neighbors) when Gareth looks up at Eddie from his phone during a break, eyes as wide as saucers. “Dude, is this you?”
He hands Eddie his phone, display lit up with a picture and— yes that’s him from that morning, hand in hand with Steve in his big ass grey hoodie, shopping at the farmers market. He swipes and there’s another one of them laughing at something. Then another one of them kissing. It’s an insta post by an account he doesn’t recognize and has over two million likes. And the caption says, ‘omg guys I just saw Steve Harrington with his boyfriend’.
Eddie doesn’t pick up any of Steve’s calls that night. When he finally looks Steve up, he just feels impossibly stupid. He’s been dating an actor who’s basically been in a bazillion movies (Eddie’s even watched one of them a while ago) with a net worth he can’t even imagine? He can’t think of why Steve would even give someone like Eddie the time of his day when he works with so many actors and models.
He scrolls through the thousands of comments on the post, ranging from ‘they’re such a cute couple’ to ‘why is he dating an ugly skank’ (he’s never been called a skank before, it’s an experience).
His phone doesn’t stop blowing up but Eddie resolves to go see Steve first thing in the morning. It’s 3am when he finally falls asleep.
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crucialplayer · 7 months
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Thoughts on Venus placements
!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.
Aries Venus. View public humiliation as a flirting tactic. Will borderline call you stupid and ugly and genuinely expect people to get the hint that they’re actually very interested. Will prob ask themselves out on ur behalf. If u don't show interest immediately as they enter a room they’re done. Life is a cycle of falling in and falling out. Romance is 90 percent fucking.
Taurus venus. Like anyone who’s pretty but LOVE prob one person in a lifetime. Will have an aneurism if you try to rush them or speed up the prelude. Unbearable in their pickiness (esp with food and smells). Have deluded themselves into thinking there are people dying waiting for them to grace this earth with their love and attention. Limit freedom but act bothered when being imposed with the same limitations. 
Gemini venus. What’s there to say that hasn't been already cried out loud by the casualties of their love. Wandering eye. Don't promise much and deliver even less. Fun tease flirts, will take you on Before Sunrise style date and rot ur brain with all the talk. Like to leave people wondering. Everyone wants to try this one out at least once. Word’s been going around that a non-cheating-gemini Venus has been spotted in the wild but we’re yet to confirm the evidence. 
Cancer venus. Want to be treated like a baby but always end up babying other people. Want to please their loved ones at all times and if not met with instant appreciation become very irritated and sad. Never voice their needs properly. Expect the most distant emotionally constipated people they usually choose as their partners to be mind-readers. Cook-clean-snog love. 
Leo venus. Promise u the moon and the stars but will be too lazy to actually get them. Love themselves first and won't let you forget that. If not received naturally - will drag those compliments out of you manually. At their best great at hyping people up. Love anyone who praises them. Also kinda get attached quite fast. Get jealous and offended easily (I feel like I say this about every Leo placement but what can u do).
Virgo venus. No one can please them and with time fewer people try. Get the ick over people simply breathing. Want the most sterile of love there is. If you’re not the best at your craft or do not aspire to be WHY the fuck not??? Legit think organizing ur desk is a good substitution for letting know they have warm feelings towards you.
Libra venus. Their partner is the star of the night month year life. Choose partners that can be bragged about and envied for. Very loving never shut up about their relationship no matter the setting always find a reason to bring them up. In a relationship make concessions until they blow up.
Scorpio venus. Insanity falsely taken for being in love. Blood contract on the first date. The ones that giggle at cannibalism=love metaphors. Might just lock you up but in a romantic wayyy... Romance is NOT a joke and ANY attempt making FUN of it WILL NOT slide. Looking around might count as cheating. Also if I may I suggest never leaving them on read..) Forever and always til death do us part. 
Sagittarius venus. Often forget that they are in a relationship. Love the fun aspect of dating, but hate everything else. Need someone who constantly shakes things up and makes life interesting for them. In an ideal world, they travel around the globe and have a lot of se make meaningful connections for life. Very playful tho!
Capricorn venus. In relationships become very domestic but it takes a lot for them to actually end up in such. Love language is to cover basic necessities and feel worn out after that. Typically require to be TAUGHT on love and I know there are some people who find this an exciting quest god bless you on that journey. Prob the most rigid Venus in terms of compatibility with others imo. 
Aquarius venus. So fucking random in terms of people they crush on like I can never guess who’s gonna tingle their interest braincell this time. Normally they go for the intellectuals but once they think they’ve got too predictable with it next choice is gonna be wild. Friends with people who have a crush on them and are oblivious to it. Freeze when you get mushy or clingy with them. 
Pisces venus. Takes a village to pull them out of that one abusive dynamic they’ve been perpetually stuck in. Unironically think of themselves as smol beans. Dedicate their whole unprompted to the person they’ve had a crush on for like two days. Very very veryyyy lovey-dovey-sweet-corny, have no problem confessing their love. Likely to draw ur portrait if they like you. 
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clockwayswrites · 8 months
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City Pigeons Bleed Green
WC: 1329 Masterpost CW: stitches, blood, canon typical violence, history of experimentation, bad (lbh evil) parent Fentons “I need to get to Bruce Wayne.”
“We should be able to arrange a conversation,” Tim said immediately. None of the shock and concern that Tim must have been feeling seeped through into his words. Jason always admired how even keel Tim could seem.
The kid’s eyes snapped to Tim, brow furrowed in confusion.
Tim just shrugged. “He does good in the city, so do we. Besides, his kids are targeted a lot and sometimes we get involved to help out with that. There’s a line of communication that we can use.”
“So what?” They rasped. “You let every kid who wants to talk to Bruce Wayne get to just ‘cause they’re bleeding out?”
“He’d say that was a good enough reason,” Jason said with certainty. He knew how much money and effort Bruce poured into Make a Wish and the children's hospital.
The kid squinted at him before glancing away. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him… like this…”
“Then a safe house for right now,” Tim insisted. “Just like the name says, it’s safe. We can get you patched up and you can rest somewhere you don’t have to look over your shoulder. When you’re feeling better, we’ll set up that meeting.”
“You’ll let a stranger stay at your safe house, just like that?”
“Kid,” Jason said with a sigh. “I don’t think you’re getting it. You’re a very hurt kid. You’re exactly the type of person that we’d do that for. We’re the Bats of Gotham and we protect her people.”
There was that ugly laugh again. “I’m not even from Gotham.”
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters in Gotham,” Jason said. He took the risk and held out his hand. Jason didn’t pray anymore, not since his mother died, but he still silently hoped that the kid would take it. Jason felt certain they wouldn’t make it if they didn’t take it.
The fingers braced against the grimy cinder block wall twitched. Then the hand reached out. The kid collapsed forward into the motion and Jason lunged to catch them. He lifted them gently, worried about how light they were.
“It’s okay, we’ve got you. We’ll make sure you’re safe.”
The kid hid their face against Jason’s jacket. Their words were almost too quiet to hear. “I don’t know if you can.”
“Never underestimate what a stubborn Bat can do, Kid.”
-
The kid passed out halfway to the safe house. It was probably for the best. Their injuries were… extensive would be too kind of a word.
Tim laid down a plastic sheet on the bed before Jason deposited the kid down on it. The hoodie, which couldn’t be the kid’s at that size, had to be practically peeled off. The main wound that must have been the blood splatter he noticed was the immediate concern, but it was everything else that worried Tim more.
This was more than signs of abuse, this was torture or experimentation. Those scars and wounds cut into the kid’s arms and torso was far too even and controlled. There were other, messier scars that looked like burns and stab wounds. The inside of their elbows were littered with track marks and their hands bruised from what must have been IV ports. The worst for Tim was seeing the metal collar around the kid’s neck, but he knew that wasn’t what was getting Jason. He didn’t need to see Jason’s eyes to tell they were glued to the track marks.
“Go take five and fill a bowl up with warm water,” Tim said.
“Red—”
“Hood,” Tim snapped, cutting off Jason’s growl. Tim had suffered Jason’s bite, the bark didn’t scare him anymore. Besides, they understood each other these days. They were the Bats will willing blood on their hands. “Go take five. They’re not going anywhere and I need your help to patch them up, so go take five and get your head on, okay?”
The fight drained out of Jason like a string had been cut. He nodded and stalked off to the tiny kitchen that was basically an afterthought to the living room. It was hardly their most glamorous safe house but it was close, had two bedrooms, and was secure, despite it’s shoddy appearance.
Tim had the old bandages and scraps of cloth peeled off by the time Jason came back to start cleaning away the green blood.
“We need to get antibiotics for them from Leslie,” Jason said after the worst was cleaned up.
“Definitely. This new wound is from a knife and some of these were wrapped with what I think was an old hospital scrub.”
“Lends credence to…”
“Yeah.”
Jason nodded stiffly. “This needs stitches.”
“Luckily I think bandages are fine for everything else,” Tim said.
He snapped off the nitrate gloves and put on a fresh pair. He carefully numbed the skin around the wound while he waited for Jason to be in a spot to hold the kid down should they wake up. The first few stitches went fine. Tim took the time to be extra neat. The kid didn’t need any worse scars because of his sloppy work.
Tim had just started on the forth one when the kid started to stir. They twitched and whimpered in their sleep. Jason pressed down carefully to keep them from moving too much.
“No, Mom, please, I’m your son! I’m not— Don’t… not again. I’ll be good…”
Tim looked up at the impassive red helmet.
“I’m good. I have him. Just keep stitching so we can get him tucked in to bed.”
“Okay,” Tim said and got back to work. It was hard to ignore the whimpered words and everything they implied, but Tim needed to focus. There would be time to start looking into everything after.
It was as he was cleaning up that Jason threw a wrench into things.
“Don’t run his DNA.”
“What?” Tim hissed, rounding on Jason. “That is clearly Bruce’s kid in there!”
“Exactly. It’s obviously his kid, there’s no doubt in that with the way he looks. And just as obviously he’s been tortured or experimented on. Don’t you think he’s been stripped of his privacy enough?”
All the fight bled out of Tim an instant. “Fuck. I didn’t think… I just wanted to…”
“I know. You wanted to help by solving this, but that’s not what this kid needs right now. So hold off until he feels safe enough to consent, okay?”
“Okay, no, you’re right, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Red,” Jason said, ruffling Tim’s hair with a wet hand. “Creepy stalking is just your way of caring, I get it. Just pull back a little this time. You can focus on that collar he’s wearing right now.”
Tim shuddered. “That thing needs to go. Am I staying on watch then?”
“If you’re fine with that. I’ll get Oracle to call the others to the Cave.”
“Sure,” Tim said. He didn’t want to miss that conversation, but someone had to stay with the kid and he was a better choice to get the collar off. “Just make sure I have a comm line in.”
“Of course. Can’t have you missing out on us discussing the old man’s sex life.”
“Ugh, never mind, I don’t need a comm line!”
“Too late!” Jason called out with a laugh as he headed for the door.
Tim flicked him off just to do so.
After double checking that the place was secure, Tim pulled out a tool bag. At least he could start by testing the collar for explosive residue or other traps that would keep Tim from taking it off. The thought of the collar being rigged made him sick to his stomach, but it fit too well with the canvas of scars that the kid bore.
“Who did this to you, Kid?” Tim asked, even though he knew he wouldn’t get a response. “And how soon can Hood put a bullet in their head for you?”
--- AN: So here's a little more of this for Trauma Tuesday! The Reds are very concerned! I'm still having fun writing a Jason and Tim who get along and understand each other in a way the other 'we don't kill' Bat's don't, threats of murder and all.
Sorry if there are lots of mistakes (I don't need them corrected, ty), it's been a bad fatigue spell here. Still hope you enjoyed it and stay delightful, darlings!
(Oh, and there's another continuation to the OG threaded to it by chroma if you want a different take!)
Masterpost you can subscribe to, as I no longer tag people!
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yanderenightmare · 8 months
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How does Shiggy react to a darling who developed Stockholm Syndrome?
Shigaraki Tomura
TW: NSFW, captive darling, Stockholm Syndrome, ish benevolent sexism
fem reader
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You kissed him a little while back.
It was strange, as though you’d forgotten yourself – lost yourself in the heat of the moment. But no, it had been deliberate and long-lasting – earnest and needy even. And had rendered him both speechless and in a panic.
He’d entered the room in a rigid mood and woken you up with a bite to your ass. Pulling your thighs snugly around him with his cock already swole between them – tugging your panties down your thighs while you were still rubbing the sleep from your eyes with a yawn. 
You’d learned rather quickly never to fight him. He’d punish you with bitemarks and no food, and ultimately you grew too weak to reject him anyway. So your casual acceptance wasn’t anything new where you patiently awaited getting fucked – lying on your back while looking down at his fat member disappearing inside you with only a tiny moan slipping free from your lips.
You took him obediently as you’d done for a while – without protest. The only difference occurred after he’d twisted the two of you around so you could straddle and ride him. You’d pressed your naked breasts into his chest and taken his face in your hands – gently as you rolled your hips without guidance – and then, right before the kiss, you’d said, so very softly, “I missed you today… it’s boring here without you~” 
Your voice was sultry, kissing him tender yet deeply – pouring sweet moans into his mouth while your hands tangled in his hair. 
You’d traveled to his neck after, and he came as soon as your tongue licked the scars found there – digging his fingers into the plush of your hips, keeping you seated as he spluttered all his worth inside you.
He’d been in such a state of post-shock that he’d rushed out just after. Leaving you.
Kurogiri had pointed out his blush while he sat at the bar, mulling it over with a bottle of brown in his grip. He shuddered, recurring the feeling – your pillowy wet lips on his, those words leaving your tongue, your hands playing with his hair, pulling him close. His chest felt tight, just as tight as the furrow between his brows.
Dabi sat down a couple of stools away sometime later in the night. Often, Shigaraki would abstain from engaging in conversation with the guy, but really, at least in this case, he was the best choice of any to ask for input. After all, they weren’t all that different. Actually, when it came to basics, they were both pretty similar – same-aged, ugly, and ridden with family issues from scars to fractured memories.
Dabi gave him a dumb look, his brow raised as though to ask what he was staring at after noticing his side-eye.
“You still have the same girl?” He jumped straight to it.
Dabi’s dumb expression turned dumber. Confused, maybe not so much by the question itself but by why the boss was even talking to him. But most emotions are like matches for Dabi, and they burn out before they’re able to light any fires. Soon, the usual sense of disinterest washed over him, and his face eased up into that chronic jaded look. 
Shigaraki nearly lost patience, reminded once again why he couldn’t stand the guy – rude as ever and so slow it made his skin itch. But then he gave his answer, “Yeah, I still have her.”
“She difficult?” Shigaraki followed up.
And Dabi took his time once again, hauling out the seconds before offering his answer in a drawl. “No, Stockholm Syndrome kicked in quickly.”
Shigaraki let it settle - Stockholm Syndrome – before looking back at his drink and repeating the thought once again. Stockholm Syndrome.
“It’s strange, isn’t it?” He mumbled then.
Dabi sighed, taking a swig of his beer. It was already the third one, but he’d only been sitting there for about half an hour. “Not really…” He disagreed. “Most girls are better survivors.”
It was Shigaraki’s turn to look dumb, looking puzzled as he stared down the barrel to his bottle – in wait of an explanation – almost as though he was under the impression it was the drink who was speaking and not the patch-faced raven-head sitting beside him.
“They learn quickly to accept what will keep them safe, and then, they find solace in whatever they can to maintain their mental health as well…” Said raven-haired guy continued – then he scoffed. “Boys fight until they break. Leaving them a shell of what they once were. But girls don’t have the same pride.”
He swirled his bottle, stove-top blue eyes lazy, looking at the last of his drink storm with waves inside the green glass.
“They leave themselves behind and become someone new.” He offered a dry chuckle, and Shigaraki spotted the unsightly way his staples only barely held the split of his smile together. “It’s actually kind of scary.” He finished before downing the last gulp, setting the bottle down with a bang.
He swung off his stool, shoving his hands down his pockets, and walked away – his back turned.
“If I were you, I’d embrace it, boss. Despite what we try to believe, that shit feels best when it’s given willingly.”
Shigaraki sat there a moment longer. Long enough to get cut off by Kurogiri, who told him drinking anymore would be a bad idea.
When he got back to the room, you were sleeping again.
He stood and stared at you for a moment. 
Was this a game you were playing? Was it a joke?
You’d pulled on one of his hoodies. And upon a closer look, you hadn’t showered either… 
Strange of you to leave his cum inside you... 
But thinking back about it, you hadn’t been so distant with him for a while already. You’d been trivial – conversational – even chirpy, if he could call it that.
Was it like Dabi said? Had you reached your breaking point for loneliness, leaving him to be your only resource? Or had you accepted the circumstances and willed yourself to play along? 
He didn’t know, but the doubt stormed an upset in his mind as he lifted the covers and laid down next to you. But despite the exhaustion, the lure of sleep still wasn’t enough to make him close his eyes – he was stuck staring at you, mapping out all those qualities that make up your pretty face.
So deep in his studies, he nearly flinched when your eyes fluttered open.
A small smile graced your lips soon after. “You’re back…” You murmured, eyes softly blinking at him before you scooched closer – shimmying yourself over to him until you were all the way up against his chest, nuzzling your head against his collar with sleepy sounds of comfort. Resting there for a blissful moment before purring out a sweet “Good night~”
But he couldn’t sleep that night. Too busy listening to your soft snores – feeling the clingy way you clutched his cotton T-shirt.
He couldn’t bring himself to touch you either. For a long while – it was as though he was… scared almost. Freaked out by your doting – that way you’d hug him when he entered through the door – placing kisses on places he wasn’t used to – his cheek, his forehead, his neck, his knuckles. 
Grabbing his sleeve. “Don’t go, Tomura…” You said once when he had his hand on the doorknob and the key halfway twisted in the lock. “Please… don’t leave.”
His throat went tight. It had been like that for a while – ever since that first kiss, actually, he’d been unable to talk to you – unsure what to say.
But you hadn’t the same issue.
“You haven't touched me in a while…” You continued, taking his hand away from the doorknob in both yours, playing with his fingers – bringing it up to your face – you cuddled it like he’d not threatened you with his touch many many many times before. “Are you bored with me?” You asked instead of the obvious, keeping him at a loss for words. “Or… have I scared you away?”
You? Scared him?
Your lips brushed his fingers as one of your hands made a slow descent – making him jerk with a gasp as it went straight to cup his groin – tender yet firm, giving it a squeeze.
“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” You said coyly, eyes doe-like but kittenish all the same, with a pouty and small smirk playing on your lips before you bit into them – brows cinching, giving him a flirty pleading expression. “Please, Tomura?” You said his name as though it didn’t belong to him. “It gets so lonely here…” You kissed his palm. “Won’t you give me a proper goodbye, at least?”
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dreaming-medium · 8 months
Text
Stray Kids Kinktober Day 7
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Stray Kids Kinktober Masterlist
Virginity - Jeongin
Word Count: 9.5k
Summary: Long distance friendships work most of the time. But what about when that friendship was supposed to be more? What about when the distance spans over several time zones instead of cities.
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He’ll always be the one that got away, that’s what you tell yourself. 
But it’s not like he’s gone completely, no, Yang Jeongin is still in your life every single day. He’s just not physically present now. 
The two of you went from spending every single waking moment together to then only seeing him when he’s able to come home during breaks in his idol schedule. 
Which is basically never. 
When he left Busan, he took your entire heart with you.
The night before he left for Seoul, you told yourself over and over again that you were going to confess to him. That you weren’t going to let him leave for stardom without knowing how you felt. 
And if he didn’t feel the same, then the distance would help. 
And if he did… then who knows what would happen. 
But, when the moment came. And Jeongin was hugging you goodbye in his childhood bedroom, you froze. 
“Jeongin, I need to tell you something,” you murmur into his chest during a tight hug. 
His hand runs down the back of your hair, his nose digging into the top of your head to smell your coconut shampoo. 
“What is it?”
Your heart was beating so fast, you thought it might explode. With the way your ear was pressed against his chest, you’re able to hear his heart thudding against his ribs as well. 
He’s probably just nervous about leaving, that’s all. 
Every thought flies from your head. Not a single word of your practiced speeches in the mirror come to mind. 
He’s leaving. He’s leaving. He’s leaving. 
“Y/N?” Jeongin tries to catch your attention by squeezing you tighter. 
“Just…” you trail off, blinking the tears away from your eyes. Your throat constricts and gets tighter and tighter. “Just don’t forget about me when you’re famous, okay?”
Jeongin rocks you both from side to side, a thoughtful hum coming from his throat. 
“I don’t think I could forget about you even if I tried, Y/N,” he whispers into your hair. “I’ll text you every chance I get, FaceTime and calls too. You know I will.”
The desperation in his voice causes the tears to finally fall down your cheeks. The other half of your soul was leaving. 
Who was going to walk to school with you? Split another menu item with you so that you both could have two different things? Watch scary movies with you and launch popcorn everywhere?
“I know, Jeongin.” A hiccup shakes your chest. “You’re going to be famous before you know it. And you’ll have other famous people lining up to be your best friend.”
“Yeah, well, that spot is already taken.”
Jeongin pulls away from you slowly to look down at your tear-ridden face. 
“No amount of distance will change that, okay? I’m serious.”
You bite your lip and look down at the floor with a pathetic nod. 
Two fingers hook under your chin to bring your eyes back up to his. They’re glossy and brimming with his own unshed tears. 
“Cross my heart,” he hushes and draws an ‘X’ over his chest with his free hand. 
“Cross my heart,” you sob and mirror the action. 
“Now, stop crying. You know you’re an ugly crier.”
“When are you leaving, again?”
-------------------------------------
It’s embarrassing to say, but you did have little faith in Jeongin to keep the promise. 
But you’ll be damned. Because he did so to the best of his abilities. 
No, you two were not attached at the hip anymore, sipping soda through the same straw. But you remained as close as ever. 
Conversation never dulled over texts. 
Sure, there would be periods of time where you would only hear from him once or twice a day. But that’s normal, especially with longer distance friends. 
Also, with a schedule like his, it’s a miracle that you get to hear from him at all. 
The first year was the hardest. When your birthday passed and he wasn’t physically in the room with you at midnight for the first time, it felt like a dagger to the heart. 
Yes, he was on FaceTime with you, but it wasn’t the same; and you both knew it. 
Life continued. It didn’t stop in his bedroom like you thought it would. 
The ache faded. You adapted. He adapted. But your friendship remained constant. 
-------------------------------------
“America?” Jeongin asks bewildered on the phone. 
“It’s a full ride, Jeongin! I’d be stupid not to accept it.” 
You’re laying on your bed, painting your nails with the phone in between your shoulder and your ear. 
“I mean, yeah, but like… didn’t you also apply to the University of Seoul?”
“I did, but they’re not offering me a full ride. You know my family’s financial situation, I have to go where the money is.”
“But… but what about plane tickets and such? Wouldn’t the cost just balance out?” he stutters. His tone sounds strained and choked. 
You almost wish you were on FaceTime right now so you could see his expression. He was never good at hiding secrets from you, you can read him like a book. 
“Not really… I’d probably just… live there for four years and come back when I’m done,” you mumble and then blow on your wet nails. “Jeongin, I really wasn’t expecting this type of reaction…”
The sadness of your voice can’t be helped. 
Jeongin had no idea you applied for the photography program at the California Institute of Arts. It was on a whim that you sent your application in. 
He makes a choked noise on the other end of the phone. “I-I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m happy for you, I really am! I’m over the moon excited! California! That’s-“ he clears his throat. “That’s incredible.”
He’s crying. Yang Jeongin is crying right now. 
You sit in silence for a moment and stare blankly at the wall in front of you. With each word that comes through the phone you can feel your heart breaking. 
“I can’t believe it!” He continues with his fake happiness. “California! Woo… just- just like in those movies we used to watch to-together!”
Clenching your jaw to stop your own tears, you pull the phone away from your face and tap the FaceTime button. 
The line rings a few times before you hear Jeongin gasp and stutter even more. 
“I have to go, Y/N. Chan is calling me to do something!”
“I didn’t hear—“
“Bye, Y/N!”
The line beeps three times to signal he hung up. Your phone displays the failed FaceTime call. 
Numbness floats through your chest for a moment before something harshly tugs on your soul. 
He was expecting you to come to Seoul. To come closer to him, wasn’t he? 
You drop your phone onto your bed and continue to sit there, staring into space. 
Yes, you wanted to go to Seoul with him, you desperately wanted to do that. 
But, you need to think in the long run here! Four years longer away from him in exchange for a lifetime free of debt. 
It’s only four years, max.
Tears prickle your eyes and you grit your teeth to try and stop them. 
Shit, Jeongin. Come on. 
-------------------------------------
You went to America. You made the hard choice, but the right one. And you know it, too. 
Jeongin knew it too. Hidden underneath all of the grief of you moving even further from him, he was endlessly proud and happy for you. 
But now, instead of a two hour train ride, you were an eleven hour plane ride away. Your day was sixteen hours behind his. 
Now, if he texted you and asked what you had for dinner, you would tell him about last nights’ meal or what you were thinking for later. 
There were only about two hours a day where you were able to talk at the same time and it was killing him slowly. 
When your classes for the day were ending, he was waking up for the next day. When you were getting ready for bed, he was finishing lunch. 
If he wanted to FaceTime you at the end of his day, it was the middle of your work day. 
You were losing each other. 
He was able to do two different cities in the same country, but two continents was its own animal. 
Jeongin would lay awake in bed at night, knowing you’re up and moving around. It would haunt him while he tossed and turned. 
Because in his mind, you’re also the one that got away. You were the only reason he almost didn’t audition to become a trainee. 
But, your entire life, you talked about attending the University of Seoul for college. So, he bargained with himself and became a trainee because eventually the two of you would be together. Right?
No.
Now, you’re in America. You’ve been in America for two entire years. 
Making new friends, meeting new people, experiencing everything without him. 
The knife twisted in his gut when he started noticing the same name floating around your conversations when you spoke about friends. 
Ryan. 
It was always ‘Ryan said this’, ‘Ryan did that’, ‘Ryan showed me this’. Jeongin wanted to scream and pull his hair out. 
It was only a matter of time until he got the phone call he was dreading. 
-------------------------------------
Jeongin had just sat down in the living room of the shared dorm when his phone rang. His seven other members were flitting in and out of the room. 
They all knew you very well. Jeongin talks about you so much they would swear you were everyone’s childhood best friend. 
The few times you were able to visit him in person before leaving for America, everyone always got along famously.
He answered your FaceTime call immediately. 
“Hey!” you say as soon as you see his face. “Are you busy right now?”
“No, not at all. We don’t have anything until later today. What time is it?” Jeongin looks at the clock. “It’s almost 9 PM by you, what are you getting ready for?”
You placed your phone down on your desk. “Well, ah— that’s actually why I’m calling you, I need your advice.”
Felix and Seungmin both walked into the living room, talking quietly and sat down on the couch opposite him. 
“What’s up? Are you okay?” Jeongin asks. 
Both the other boys perk at his tone and look over. 
“I’m um… going on a date tonight. Ryan had asked me out with him tonight. So I wanted your advice on what to wear, since you’re a fashion God.”
The floor beneath him crumbled. His heart fell through the sofa and into the Earth. Even his fingertips go numb. 
A date? You were going on a date? With Ryan? You were going on a date with Ryan. 
You were going on a date. With Ryan. 
“Jeongin?” You ask again when he doesn’t answer for a few moments. His eyes are completely unfocused and spaced out. 
He snaps out of it and clears his throat. “What um— What did you have in mind? It’s getting chilly out, right? Maybe wear a sweater? What about that cable knit one I got you?”
“Jeongin it’s LA! It’s always 70 degrees here.”
“But the restaurant might be cold.”
“I’ll bring a jacket then.” You laugh at him, unaware at the absolute anguish he was feeling. “I was thinking something like… you know that black skirt? That with this new tube top I got aaaand my knee high boots.”
“No.” He answers quickly, your face falls. “Why don’t you do the top with jeans?”
“It’s a nice place.”
“M-Maybe a dress then.”
“Jeongin.” 
Seungmin And Felix were watching everything unfold in front of their eyes. It was like a car crash, they couldn’t look away. 
Jeongin kept going, “I really liked that long sleeved red one you wore for Christmas last year.”
“Jeongin..”
“And if that doesn’t work I just think the sweater is the best option here.”
You stay silent, letting Jeongin finish his ramblings. 
There’s a solid fifteen seconds of silence between the two of you before you spoke up on the other line. “Are any of the other boys in the room with you?”
Jeongin immediately looks over at Felix and Seungmin. “Yeah, Min and Lix are here.”
You nod a few times, refusing to look at the camera. 
“I gotta go, Jeongin. I’ll text you later, okay?”
“Y/N.”
“Bye. I’ll text you when I get home safe.”
“Y/N, wait!”
Three beeps signal the end of the phone call. 
He sits there for a long moment, just holding his phone in his hand before he drops it onto the coffee table. 
His heart is shattering into a million pieces. 
Jeongin buries his face in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. 
Both of the other boys sit there, unsure of what to do next. They glance at each other and then back to Jeongin, who hasn’t moved. 
“Jeongin…” Felix calls out gently. 
The boy lifts his face up from his hands and looks over at his friends. “What am I supposed to do? A date. She’s going on a date. And I’m on the other side of the world.”
His throat bobs with a gulp and he pulls at his pants anxiously. 
“Jeongin.” Seungmin tries to grab his attention. “I think she was just looking for support.”
He’s right. He’s completely right, but Jeongin is so blinded with jealousy he can’t think straight. 
“I’ve loved her since we were thirteen and she’s going on a date with someone else.”
“You don’t even know if it will last.” Seungmin tries to comfort him. 
“They’re already super close, she talks about him all the time, it’s always ‘Ryan, Ryan, Ryan’. He’s her new best friend, not me. She was supposed to come here, to Seoul, not go to America. And we were going to.. we were going to–” He chokes up and can’t get it out. 
Jeongin abruptly stands up from the couch and snatches his phone off the table. 
“I’m going for a walk.”
And with that, he was gone. 
-------------------------------------
He won’t answer any of your texts or calls. 
It’s been two weeks since your date with Ryan and you still haven’t heard from Jeongin. 
It feels like a giant punch in the gut. 
All you want to do is talk to him but he’s nowhere to be seen. He hasn’t even sent you a text to say he’s busy or when he can finally talk again. 
Just radio silence. 
You thought about texting one of the other members to try and get through to him, but it feels so high school that you decide not to. 
All you want to do is talk to your best friend. 
But he doesn’t want to talk to you, it seems. 
It has to be because of the date. There’s no other explanation behind it. Everything was fine until you told him you were going on a date. 
You’ve been here for two years now! Did he expect you to stay single forever?
Just because he has a dating ban, doesn’t mean you do too. 
The more you think about it, the angrier you get. The smoldering ashes of your rage don’t dim. Not one bit, they just simmer and flicker on. 
It all bubbles and reaches a boiling point one Friday where you’ve had entirely too much to drink. 
Your friends dragged you out to a frat party where you drank yourself stupid. Nothing eventful happened at the party, but when you stumbled into your apartment and you were left alone with your phone, it all hit a head. 
[March 3 11:48 PM] 
Y/N: I’m home safe.
[March 4 4:22 PM]
Y/N: How’d your day go?
[March 5 7:31 AM]
Y/N: Jeongin please talk to me. I have so much to tell you
[2:01 PM]
Y/N: I saw a cute lil baby Fox on my way to class this morning, made me think of you :) 
[March 13 6:12 PM]
Y/N: You’re just going to keep ignoring me, huh?
[March 19 3:58 AM]
Y/N: YanG Jeongin. 
Y/N: you can’t fucking  ignore me forever 
Y/N: or maybe you can. 
Y/N: is that what you want???? Me to be gone????? All these fucking years of friendship down the drain????
Y/N: well fuck you too, I guess 
[4:02 AM]
Y/N: I got hired for your stupid fucjing group’s world tour. For when you come to America
Y/N: I fucking begged my professor to give me the gig for a project. It’s an internship. Was gunna see you next week and everythinfg 
Y/N: surprise, asshoke
Y/N: and now you won’t fucking talk to me. Do you realize how petty you’re being? How childish? Over what? A guy?????? I cant fucking back out now, my professor would kill me. 
[4:09 AM] 
Y/N: the whole tour I was gunna spend with you
Y/N: fuck you, Yang Jeongin. 
Y/N: and your stupid fucking childishness. 
Y/N: why cant you just be fucking happy for me for once. 
Y/N: it took me so long to get over you. Why do you keep doing this to me? 
[4:14 AM]
Y/N: Was I supposed to wait forever?
-------------------------------------
Jeongin stepped out of the shower and looked at his phone. 
Fifteen unread messages from you. It’s 4 AM in America, why are you awake right now?
He was so embarrassed over the way he acted two weeks ago that he couldn’t bring himself to talk to you. 
But my god, he only made it worse. 
Jeongin goes through every single emotion while reading your texts. You were going to be one of their photographers for the Manic tour? 
You were going to travel with them?
His thumbs quickly tap his phone and as he’s about to click the phone call button, he freezes in his tracks. 
‘It took me so long to get over you. Why do you keep doing this to me?’
‘Was I supposed to wait forever?’
His entire face drops, the excited palpitations of his heart turn sour and what feels like a knife is stabbed through his chest. 
Fuck fuck fuck. 
He stares down at his phone for what feels like an hour before he hurries out of the bathroom and right into Chan’s room. 
Chan looks over at his member with a startled expression. 
“Jeongin? Everything alright?”
“No, no everything is not alright.” He thrusts his phone into Chan’s hand. “What do I do? What should I say?”
Chan looks down at the phone with wide eyes, he quickly scans over the text. His face seems to go through all the stages of grief that Jeongin’s did, just a bit more watered down. 
“You have to call and apologize, Jeongin. She’s definitely a bit drunk right now, but you need to call her.”
Jeongin gulps and his hands clench and unclench several times before he takes his phone back from Chan. 
“Can I sit in here while I do it?”
“Yeah, of course.”
He sits down on the edge of Chan’s bed, staring down at his phone like a deer in headlights. 
Chan just stares at him, not knowing what to do. 
“What do I even say, Chan?”
“How about you start with ‘I’m sorry I was a dick and ignored you’?”
Jeongin groaned and curled in a bit, his jaw clenching with anxiety. 
His thumbs move around the screen, but they don’t tap the call icon. 
Chan watches. “It’s in the top right.”
“I know!”
“Well you weren’t doing anything.”
“Agh!”
Before he could second guess himself, he tapped the call icon and held the phone up to his ear. 
It rings … and rings… And rings…
It doesn’t even go to voicemail. Jeongin’s heart drops through Chan’s bed. 
He brings his phone away from his ear and checks that it’s your number he dialed. 
It is. 
He hangs up and immediately tries again. 
It rings … and rings… And rings…
Chan’s eyes follow him closely. His face falls when he figures out what’s going on. 
“Jeongin…” he whispers and wheels his chair closer to him on the edge of the bed. 
Jeongin doesn’t listen. He hangs up and tries again with shaking fingers. 
“I’m sure it’s just a bad connection, right?”
It rings … and rings... And rings…
He hangs up again with a cry. 
When he looks down at your conversation he sees another notification. 
[8:15 PM]
[Y/N has stopped sharing their location with you.] 
You blocked him. You really blocked him. 
“She’s drunk, Jeongin. Give it until the morning, yeah?”
Jeongin stares at his phone for a long moment. “Yeah.”
-------------------------------------
The next morning was filled with embarrassment and shame on your side. 
When you rolled over with a groggy mind and upset stomach, the first thing you did was check your phone. 
You were still in your dress from last night, your makeup was now smeared all over your face and onto your pillowcase.
A few texts from friends, a couple from Ryan, Instagram notifications, Snapchat, nothing from Jeongin. 
Your face pulled into an ugly sneer for a moment before it quickly morphed into horror when you tapped on your conversation. 
“Oh my god.”
You sat up quickly in bed, and almost immediately regretted it with how your stomach lurched and head spun. 
Rereading all the texts, you wanted to slam your hungover ridden head over and over again into the wall. 
You stopped sharing your location with him? Why would you…?
Oh, shit. You blocked him, didn't you?
Your hand runs through your matted hair nervously and you stare down at your phone. 
“You dramatic bitch!” You curse yourself and gnaw at your lip. 
What do you do? What do you do?
Obviously, you tap around to his contact and unblock his number. 
The texts immediately flood in. 
[March 19 4:25 AM]
Jeongin: Y/N, im so sorry
Jeongin: please answer 
Jeongin: Y/N please unblock me
[4:31 AM]
Jeongin: I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to go about apologizing 
Jeongin: you’re halfway across the world right now, Y/N, please. 
Jeongin: why can’t you just be a two hour train ride to Busan anymore. 
[4:38 AM]
Jeongin: I miss my best friend, please
Jeongin: I’m so endlessly proud of you. I brag about you every single day.
Jeongin: that picture you took of the Seoul skyline is still my background. The one with our hands. 
Jeongin: I like that it makes me think of you each time i open my phone
[4:44 AM]
Jeongin: i knew you couldn’t wait forever, that’s why it hurts so bad, Y/N
Jeongin: why did I choose this path? It hurts so bad, Y/N
Jeongin: i care about you so deeply
Jeongin: you’re the only one for me
Jeongin: when you left for LA, you took every part of me with you. 
[4:57 AM]
Jeongin: im so proud of you, Y/N. I guess I’ll just see you starting next week for the tour. 
Jeongin: i’ll wait for you
Jeongin: cross my heart
“Fuck,” you whisper, your voice cracking. Tears welling up in your eyes. 
Is he serious? 
What are you supposed to do right now?
A text from Ryan comes in as you’re staring at your phone. 
[12:41 PM]
Ryan: did you still want to come over tonight?
-------------------------------------
A week passed. 
Another entire week without talking to Jeongin. 
It was like color was slowly draining from your world. 
You know you should reach out to him, but shame and embarrassment kept blocking your path to your best friend again. 
But now, you had no choice. 
You stood in front of a large office building, your bag slung over your shoulder, heart in your throat. 
Once you stepped inside this building, it would be the first time in over two years that you and Jeongin were inside the same walls. 
If you had pictured this moment just a month ago, you would’ve been kicking open these doors and sprinting through the halls until you finally laid eyes on him again. 
But now, you find that it feels like your feet have melted into the concrete sidewalk. 
Looking down at your watch, you see that you still have another thirty minutes before you have to be in the meeting. And your mouth is painfully dry. 
A bell dings to your right and you see a coffee shop. 
Perfect. 
You quickly turn and walk into the shop, the same bell dinging to announce your arrival. 
The barista welcomes you in, takes your order, and tells you your total. 
As you’re fumbling for your wallet, an arm reaches out from behind you and swipes their card to pay for your coffee. 
“Oh, thank you! You didn’t have to—“ you turn and your breath catches. 
None other than Bang Chan stood behind you with that charmingly bright smile. 
“Hi Y/N,” he beams. 
“Chan!” you squeal and wrap your arms around him. You completely forgot everything for a moment, especially when he envelopes you in his strong arms. “What a nice surprise!”
“Hi, Y/N,” he says into your hair.
A throat clears behind you so you jump apart to apologize to the barista. She just laughs and takes Chan’s order. 
The two of you stand off to the side to wait for your drinks. 
“How was the flight in?” you ask, bouncing on the balls of your feet. 
“I’ll be honest, I slept through the whole thing, so I’m not sure.”
“It’s probably the only sleep you’ve gotten this week, hm?” 
Chan laughs and rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t deny it. 
The barista calls out a name.
Chan shifts from foot to foot. “I know what happened.”
You tense up and look down at your feet. 
“How much does he hate me?” 
If you’re being honest, you really don’t want to hear the answer. 
Chan scoffs, “Hate you? He doesn’t hate you. He’s just hurt, Y/N. The same way you are. You both hurt one another.”
Looking off to the side, you cross your arms. “Yeah, well. He started it.”
“Don’t be childish.” He nudges you playfully with his elbow. “Distance is hard for close relationships. It was a miracle that you two went this long without a fight.”
You nod your head and bite your lip. 
“I miss him so much.” 
“He’s just across the street, you know.” 
You laugh which causes Chan to laugh.
The barista calls out your name and then says Chan’s right after. 
“Come on, Y/N,” he loops his arm through yours and you both walk out of the coffee shop and into the office building. 
You sip your coffee nervously, the taste is barely hitting your tastebuds with how preoccupied your mind is. 
The elevator ride up to the appropriate floor is simultaneously the longest and shortest ride of your life. 
What’s the worst that can happen, Y/N? He punches you in the face? Pushes you down the stairs? Maybe grab your coffee out of your hand and dump it over your head?
As if he ever would. 
The doors open and you both step out of the elevator. 
Loud voices carry down the hall and you giggle. 
“It’s been so long since I’ve heard you guys in person and not over a phone.”
“It’s louder in person.” Chan sighs and leads you down the hall. 
Each step is a death march of sorts. 
The conference room door swings open before Chan could grab the handle. 
Your heart rate spiked and then flatlined. 
Jeongin stood there with wide eyes and parted lips. He stared at you with every single emotion known to man. 
“Hi Jeongin,” you whisper, holding your coffee tighter. 
He says nothing. 
Jeongin steps out of the doorway and wraps you up tightly in his arms. One hand on the back of your head, the other on your waist. 
A surprised noise leaves your lips and your eyes widen. 
The coffee cup is taken from your hand by Chan who slinks into the conference room, the door closing softly behind him. 
Without a second thought, you return the hug. 
When your arms wrap around him too, a sigh of relief leaves Jeongin’s mouth and his shoulders slump inwards even more. 
He didn’t expect you to hold him. He didn’t expect you to even want to see him. 
Your arms tighten around his body and it feels like ice thawing from his heart. 
Jeongin’s throat tightens and he buries his face into your hair, inhaling deeply. 
He hasn’t held you in so long. He’s missed your touch so badly. 
Jeongin, who hates skinship, couldn’t wait to have you touch him. 
Your hand begins to rub circles on his back and he melts into you like a puddle. 
“I’m so sorry, Jeongin,” you whisper. 
The dams of his heart begin to crack and break. Every pent up emotion he’s felt for the previous three weeks bubbles to the surface. He stifles a sob and holds you tighter. 
“No, please, I’m sorry, Y/N.” His chest sputters with a cry. 
You pull back from him and look up at him with red, glassy eyes. “We’re both idiots, aren’t we?” you push out a laugh in between tiny cries.
You’re trying with all your might not to let the tears fall down your cheeks.
Jeongin isn’t doing much better. His eyes are red and you can see the tears brimming in them.
Three weeks, you haven’t talked. It was the longest span of time the two of you went without speaking ever. 
You reach up and cup both of his cheeks. Jeongin’s eyes close and he leans into your touch.
“I missed you so much, Jeongin.”
He winces at your words and his lips pull into an even deeper frown,
Jeongin brings his hand up to cup yours against his face. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” he repeats.
You step closer to him and press your lips to his cheek. Jeongin gasps under his breath and stiffens underneath you. The skin underneath your lips heats up.
“I forgive you, Jeongin.” You smile and back away from him. He watches you closely with wide eyes. “It’ll take more than that to get rid of me, you know?”
He smiles sheepishly and nods. “I forgive you too, you know.”
The elevator pings behind you and your new boss walks out with another important looking man. 
He smiles kindly at you. “Let us get this meeting started, no?”
-------------------------------------
The first concert went off without a hitch. 
Because of your position, you’re traveling with the entire crew and the members. Sleeping in the same hotels, going to the same restaurants, using the same transportation.
Sometimes you feel like a ninth member.
The boys all stood on stage with their hands interlocked to take their first final bow of the tour. You smile behind the camera and make sure to get all of them in the shot.
Jeongin spots you from the stage and smiles directly at you in the media pit. Your smile pulls even brighter and you focus the camera on him for some solo shots.
He winks once before turning to wave goodbye to some Stays in the floor seats.
Your heart flutters, it’s the happiest you’ve been in weeks. Hell, maybe even months.
All of the members exit the stage soon after and you walk with your security escort backstage.
You’re able to hear them before you see them. They’re as loud as ever, yapping about how well everything went, how happy they were to see so many Stays, how they can’t wait for the next show.
When you turn the corner to the dressing room with a bright smile on your face, they all turn and look at you.
“Congrats, guys!” you cheer and clap for them.
They all beam and say thank you. 
Jeongin crosses the room to stand by you. He still has his beanie on.
“What did you think?” he asks happily.
“I loved it! I think I took close to two thousand pictures. Maybe more. I’ll have to go through them on my laptop later.”
“That can wait!” Minho calls from the back of the dressing room. “We’re celebrating tonight!”
“Celebrating how, Mr. Lee?” you tease and hear his signature giggle.
“With booze and games back at the hotel.” Jisung answers for him. 
“Oooh,” your mood brightens. “I’m always up for that. You’re right, pictures can wait.”
“Great, then it’s settled.” Jisung claps his hands together once. “One hour, we all meet in my room.”
-------------------------------------
They were not joking around with the amount of booze on his hotel counter. You would swear you were at another frat party.
In your cup, you were nursing your third rum and coke of the night. You made the mistake of asking Changbin to make this one. After the first sip you knew this one was going to have to be taken slow. 
Everyone was sitting in various seats in the room, some on the bed, some on chairs or the floor. The TV was playing a movie that no one was paying attention to.
“Okay, Felix, truth or dare.” Hyunjin asks.
“Truth– no, dare– no, truth.”
“Final answer?”
“Truth.”
“Who was the last person you stalked on social media?” Hyunjin asks, taking a sip of his drink.
“Ah,” Felix thinks for a moment with pink cheeks. “Oh! An old friend from Australia.”
“Just a friend?” Minho jokes.
“Yes, yes, just a friend.” Felix laughs, waving him off. “Y/N, truth or dare?”
You perk up from your seat on the couch. Jeongin sat on your left, his entire side flush with yours.
“Um, truth, I don’t feel like getting up.”
“What’s your body count since you went to America?”
Your eyebrows raise and you cock your head to the side.
Jeongin stiffens up noticeably next to you, he practically jokes on the drink that he was taking a sip of. “Felix, you can’t just–”
“Two.” you answer quickly and take a large swig of your drink.
Jeongin’s head whips around to look at you as if you just shot everyone in the room. You stare back at him with a confused face.
“What?” you ask, getting defensive. Embarrassment crawls up your neck. “I know it’s not a lot, but I’ve been focused on class and everything, you know?”
“No, I just– I didn’t think that–” Jeongin stutters and looks everywhere but at you. “I didn’t know and you–”
“Tell you everything? I didn’t think you wanted to hear about it.”
“Was it Ryan?” he blurts without thinking.
Your face pulls into a shocked, angry expression. “Excuse me?”
“Was one of them Ryan?” he presses further. The alcohol gave him loose lips. 
“Why would–”
Chan interrupts the two of you, “Anyway! Your turn Y/N.”
You stare at Jeongin for another couple of moments before looking away at the group of men. You shake your head in disbelief before taking a deep breath. 
“Seungmin, truth or dare?”
-------------------------------------
“You know you didn’t have to walk me back to my hotel room, it’s only one floor up.”
Jeongin insisted on walking you back up to your room when everyone started turning in for bed. The hotel hallway was eerily quiet compared to the noise filled room that the two of you just left.
“You never know what could happen in a hotel hallway.” He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck nervously.
The two of you take the stairs up to your floor and walk in silence until you reach your room.
“Oh, wait. There was a picture I took tonight that I want you to see! Really quick, come on!” You quickly unlock your door and drag him into your room. 
Jeongin stumbles in and looks around. Your room is spotless, just a few clothes strewn about. 
You walk over to your camera sitting on the desk and pick it up, looking through the pictures for the one you wanted to show him.
He watches you closely, your face is only illuminated by the small screen display. Your tongue is sticking out between your lips in concentration. 
Two? You slept with two people since you’ve been in America? Jealousy began churning deep within his gut and coursing through his veins.
He’s been so busy with being a trainee, then debuting, then training and rehearsing and recording that he hasn’t… he hasn’t been able to be with anyone. Nor has he wanted to. Because none of the people he could have were you.
Jeongin was so hopelessly devoted to you.
Your phone dings on your desk and you look over at it, an angry sneer twitches at your lips and you roll your eyes and then look back at your camera.
“What was that?” Jeongin asked, stepping closer towards you.
You look at Jeongin, then at your phone, then to your camera. “Nothing, you don’t need to worry about it.”
Jeongin lifts a brow curiously. You look back up at him and roll your eyes.
“It’s Ryan.”
Oh, Jeongin saw red for a moment. But, he kept it to himself to the best of his abilities.
“How’s that going, by the way?” Jeongin asks. He really does not want to know the answer. But, morbid curiosity got the better of him.
You hesitate, your finger stops moving on the camera to scroll through the album.
“It didn’t work out.” you tell him without looking up.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
You bite your lip and look up at him. “Are you? Are you really, Jeongin?”
Jeongin is taken aback by your small outburst. “Y/N, I–”
“Because you seem to be super invested in him, Jeongin.” you lower the camera, staring Jeongin in the eye. “Every time I bring him up, your eye twitches. You can’t fool me, I know you too well. I know you hate the guy.”
“I don’t hate him.”
“Then what if I did fuck him?”
Jeongin scoffs and looks away angrily, he crosses his arms over his chest. “I wouldn’t care.”
Oh, he cares so much. His skin is fucking crawling.
“Look at me, Jeongin.”
His jaw clenches and he hesitates.
You put your camera back on the table and cross the final few steps until you reach him. You reach out and grab his chin between your thumb and pointer finger, forcing him to look at you.
Jeongin’s eyes widen and he stares at you.
“Look at me and tell me you don’t care.”
His face twists in anguish. He stares deeply into your eyes, flickering back and forth between them. His mouth screws up in a frown, eyebrows pulling together.
He gulps.
“Say it.” you push. “Say you don’t care if Ryan fucked me.”
“I…” he opens his mouth and promptly shuts it. He swallows again. “I can’t.”
“Why?” you hush.
The grip on his chin tightens even more when he tries to look away from you.
Alcohol thrums through both of your bodies to create a pleasant buzz and lift your confidence levels with one another. 
“Why, Jeongin?”
“Because!” he cries out. His arms uncross and he grabs both of your shoulders tightly. “Because maybe I want to be the one fucking you! Is that what you wanted to hear?”
You’re taken aback for a moment. Truly, you didn’t expect him to be so crass.
“Because maybe I would lie awake in bed at night thinking about being your one and only.” Jeongin steps towards you and you back up until your knees hit the edge of the bed. “Because you drive me fucking crazy and I want you all to myself. Because I can’t stop thinking about fucking you into my mattress every single night!”
Your hand drops from his face but he snatches it up in his own larger one. 
“Do you understand how bad I want you?” he whispers harshly. His nose is scrunched up and he’s talking through gritted teeth. “I’ve wanted you so badly for so many years. I can’t even look at anyone else because you exist. I’ve only ever had eyes for you. No one else exists, no one else makes me feel like you do.”
“How do I make you feel?”
Jeongin stares at you for a moment before he brings your hand down to press at the crotch of his pants.
Through his sweats you can feel just how hard he is. Both of you whimper at the touch.
“I want you so bad, it hurts.” Jeongin begs. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I want you to be my first. I can’t be your first, let me be your last.”
Your heart is hammering against your ribs. 
Is this really happening?
“Please, Y/N,” Jeongin whimpers. “I’m begging you.”
He’s begging you to take his virginity right now? Right now?
“Now?” you ask, bewildered.
His dick twitches in your hand and he closes his eyes in what looks like pain, but you both know it’s pleasure.
“Please.”
The tension in the room snaps. 
“Jeongin.” you grab his attention.
His eyes snap open and look at you.
“Kiss me.”
He gasps, cock jumping in your palm again before he smashes his lips against yours with a grunt. 
He’s absolutely devouring your mouth with his. It’s wet and sloppy and completely inexperienced. But what he lacks in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm.
Moans are slipping from his lips left and right as your tongues intertwine together.
Your hand slides from his dick up his body to tangle in his hair. Your other reaches up and you grab one of his from your shoulder to place it on your waist. He paws at your shirt with his long fingers.
You nip gently at his bottom lip and he moans.
“Am I dreaming?” he whispers against your mouth.
You reach around and pinch his side. He yelps and jumps a bit. 
“No, not dreaming.”
He swoops down and locks your lips once more. Your fingers massage his scalp and comb through his hair. 
You part from his lips for a second to yank your shirt off. Jeongin watches you with hungry eyes, he’s trying so hard to maintain eye contact with you, but he keeps glancing down at your chest.
“Yours too.” You point at his shirt.
It looks like he practically ripped the thing off. It flies off the top of his head and onto the floor. His bare arms come around your exposed waist, his lips searching for yours.
He’s frantic in his movements, like if he isn’t kissing you, he might die.
You grab his hands and bring them up to your bra clasp.
“I don’t–”
“Learn.” you hush against his lips and suck on his bottom lip. He moans and his fingers grasp at the clasp clumsily. 
He’s so focused on trying to unclasp your bra that you take the opportunity to kiss his jawline with an open mouth. Your teeth nip at his sharp jawline and he gasps.
Down his neck you trail your hot, wet kisses. 
With each passing moment, you can feel his desperation growing and growing. A frustrated whine comes from his chest when he can’t get it.
You bite his collarbone harshly and his knees buckle slightly, but he keeps himself up.
“Y/N!” he cries out, pulling so hard at your bra you think it might snap in half.
You giggle and have mercy on him. You reach behind yourself and unhook your bra in one movement.
It drops to the floor and this time, Jeongin has no reservations about staring at your naked chest. His lips part and his own chest starts heaving with pants. 
Another laugh comes from you. 
His eyes flicker up to yours for a split second.
“Are you going to touch me or just stare?” you tease him with a sultry smirk.
Both of his hands come up and cup both of your breasts in greedy handfuls. You moan at the sensation and wrap an arm around his neck, bringing your lips back to his.
Jeongin fondles your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples gently. Your back arches into his touch.
“Do it again,” you breathe out. He immediately follows your command, pinching and rubbing at the sensitive buds. Every single one of your noises is swallowed by his wet, swollen lips.
His kisses leave your lips and travel down your neck. They’re too gentle and innocent for your liking. 
“Fuck, bite me, Jeongin.” you beg.
Without any hesitation, his teeth sink into where your neck meets your shoulder. You cry out and roll your hips into his. 
The hands on your tits stutter in their movements before speeding up, the lust consuming his brain. 
He bites again and again just to feel your hips move against his, to hear your moans right next to his ear.
The tent in his gray sweats seems painful at this point. He continues to rut against your body for any sort of relief. 
Threading your fingers through his hair, you pull his mouth off your neck. HIs lips break their suction seal with a pop and he looks into your eyes.
He already looks so fucked out it sends a bolt through you.
“Let me make you feel good,” you whisper against his lips. 
If it’s his first time, you want it to be memorable. 
He doesn’t put up a fight at all. His mind is completely gone, he just nods over and over again. You could tell him ‘jump’ and he’d say ‘how high?’.
Your hands slide down his sculpted chest, mapping out each of the muscles. Jeongin keens under your touch, closing his eyes and sighing in pleasure.
When your hands get to the top of his pants, you quickly slide them down, taking his boxers with them. 
Gray sweats pool around his ankles and his long, hard cock bobs as its set free from its fabric confines. 
Jeongin hisses when the cold hotel air hits him.
You lean up on your tiptoes and capture his lip between your teeth for a moment at the same time you grab his dick gently.
The whine he lets out is sinful.
He’s been dreaming of your touch for so many years, and now that your hand is finally wrapped around him, he can’t believe it. 
You release his lip and it snaps back into place.
Slowly, you slide your hand up and down his cock. So much precum is weeping from the head of his cock. Every movement pulls a noise from Jeongin. 
“Sit on the edge of the bed, Jeongin.”
He gulps and obeys your order, his cock standing proud between his parted legs.
Jeongin watches you closely as you sink down to the ground onto your knees. He fists the sheets on either side of his body with white knuckles.
He has to be dreaming. This has to be one of his wet dreams where he wakes up with ruined pants and sheets. 
Settling between his thighs, you run your hands up his legs. Jeongin watches your movements with a fucked out expression. The way your fingers glide over his skin raises goosebumps. 
One of your hands comes out and grabs his cock with a gentle, yet firm, grip. His eyes snap shut and he can’t stifle the moan that punches from his chest. 
His cock is so slippery from his own precum that your hand glides over the skin easily. 
You pump him up and down for a bit, alternating your grip from firm to gentle, changing the tempo from fast to slow.
His hips won't stay still on the bed, he can’t keep still even if he wanted to. The pleasure from your hand is fucking killing him. It’s all consuming.
You smirk. “Jeongin, look at me.” 
He cracks his hazy eyes open just to see you lean forward and lick a fat stripe up his entire cock.
Jeongin cries out and his head tilts back. His hips jump around and his legs feel like they go numb.
You open mouth kiss down the sides of his shaft.
The pleasure shoots up his spine, he can practically taste the electricity. 
Just when he thinks it can’t get better, you wrap your entire mouth around him and sink down to take as much of his cock as you could without gagging.
His hand flies to your hair and grips tightly. The strands weaving through his lithe fingers.
Up and down, you bob on his shaft, making sure to let the saliva pour from your mouth and down over his balls. 
Jeongin doesn’t even realize how hard he’s pulling your hair until you moan around him. He cries out at the vibrations and pulls even harder. 
Your other hand wraps around whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth. 
He’s on cloud nine, he can barely breathe. Every intake of breath takes his full concentration, you’re making him feel so fucking good.
No matter how many times he’s touched himself and imagined it was you, it could never compare to the real thing.
His eyes follow your head, watching his cock disappear into your mouth as you stare back at him with those sinfully innocent eyes.
You’re going to be the fucking death of him. 
He’s only able to last for a few moments with your mouth on him before Jeongin is panting out.
“Y/N, you- you gotta, ha– You gotta stop or– or I’ll– fuuuuck– Im c-close and I– hng! But I wanna–! I wanna–! I wanna fu-huck you!”
You swirl your tongue around his head and pop off his cock, sit dribbling down the sides of your mouth.
“You wanna fuck me, Jeongin?” you ask him with a sweet tone. It fucking kills him.
“Yes,” he pants out, “It’s all I want.”
“You’re gonna let me pop your cherry?” you ask, looking up at him through your lashes. After you ask that, you lean over and bite his inner thigh.
Jeongin yelps and tightens the hand in your hair. 
An embarrassed flush covers his neck and ears. “Please, Y/N.” he whimpers. 
Smirking, you stand up from the floor and make quick work of your own sweatpants. Jeongin watches you like a starved man at a buffet. His tongue darts out of his lips and licks them when your panties drop to the ground.
“How do you want me, baby?” you ask him sweetly. 
He tears his eyes away from your naked pussy to look up at you. He gulps.
“How do I…?”
“You want me on top? You want to fuck me from behind? You want to be on top? How do you want me, sweet Jeongin?” Your hand comes out and caresses his cheek. “How do you want our first time?”
His cock jumps at the thought of you in each of those positions.
But one sticks out.
“Need you underneath me,” he whispers, keeping eye contact while his hands come up to rest on your hips.
Your hand cards through his hair. It’s so fluffy.
“Whatever you want, Jeongin.”
Leaning down, you press your lips to his in a sweet kiss. It’s the tamest one you’ve shared tonight.
When you break apart, he chases after your lips, but you crawl onto the bed, laying down and making yourself comfortable on the pillows.
Jeongin follows your movements with innocent, fucked out eyes. He licks his lips again and his eyebrows pull together as he watches you.
You part your legs and run a finger through your sopping wet folds, making a show out of displaying yourself to him. He watches it like a hawk.
Slowly, you bring the finger up and stick it in your mouth, tasting your own juices.
“Come on, Jeongin. You said you were going to be my last.”
He turns and scrambles onto the bed, crawling over you and smashing your lips together desperately. Both of your legs wrap around his waist while he devours your mouth with his own.
His tongue is everywhere in your mouth, licking your own, invading and licking the roof of your mouth, coming out to lick your lips.
When you whimper, you feel his cock jump against your heat. Your hips roll onto his and his hips buck downwards into yours.
Both of you are moaning, panting messes when he pulls away.
“I don’t have a condom.” he says painfully.
“I’m on the pill.”
“Are you sure?”
“Jeongin, please fuck me already. I’ve waited my entire life for this.” you smile up at him with shiny eyes.
His eyes search yours with an equally sentimental look in them.
He nods once and lines himself up with your entrance. His head rubs along your folds a few times, making himself slick.
Your head tilts backwards into the pillows.
“No, please, look at me.” he begs breathlessly.
Immediately, your eyes snap open and you gaze into his.
Two heartbeats pass and he presses into you, his cock invading your soaking walls. The stretch feels so fucking good, you’re so horny for him.
Jeongin is the one that has the harder time keeping his eyes open, his pupils are blown out. His jaw drops in a strained moan, face screwing up almost painfully with how much pleasure is coursing through his veins.
His hips stutter a few times until he bottoms out.
“Holy fuck,” he whines. His hands clenched into fists next to your head. 
“You feel so fucking good, Jeongin,” you praise him, your own voice is fucked out. 
“I’m not going to last,” he cries and buries his face into the crook of your neck.
“Don’t worry about me,’ you coo.
His hips buck again and he whimpers into your skin. 
“Jeongin,” you call to him and he lifts his head. His hair is so ruffled and messy, lips are swollen and wet, cheeks covered in a permanent blush. “Fuck me until you cum.”
His eyes roll back in his head and his hips pull out and slam right back into yours. Both of you cry out, your back arches.
Jeongin continues to fuck into you at a sloppy, harsh pace. His eyebrows furrow in concentration. He looks down at your tits bouncing with each thrust, his head dips down and he takes one of your nipples into his mouth.
“Jeongin!” you cry out and arch into him. He moans around your nipple, biting it gently and rolling it with your teeth.
His thrusts are getting frantic.
He pulls off your tit with a pop and comes up to your face.
“Need you to cum with me,” he murmurs before capturing your lips. “Need it, need it, fuck! I need it, Y/N!”
“Give me your hand.”
He balances his weight on one of his hands and holds out his other one. You guide him down to your folds and press his long, beautiful fingers against your clit.
“Mmmm…” you moan when you guide him to rub in circular motions.
He feels you clench around him and he whimpers into your open mouth. 
“Just like that, Jeongin.” you rasp. “Keep that up and I’ll cum on your cock.”
“Jesus.” 
He rubs faster in some moments, slower in the others. His mind is swimming in the clouds. Everything feels so fucking good. 
Your whines get louder and louder, each one more higher pitched than the last.
“Close, close, close…” you breathe out against his lips. “Hah!”
Thank god. He’s been this close to blowing his load for the last four minutes, but he needed to feel you. He needed it.
“Yes, Jeongin! Yes!”
His thrusts get harder, his rubbing on your clit matches the timing. 
You reach around his back and scratch your nails up his back.
“Come on, Y/N.” he whines. “Cum for me, Y/N. Need to feel you cum around me.”
Your pussy clenches down on him impossibly tight, your head is thrown backwards and your mouth stretches open in a silent scream.
It throws him over the edge, he spills into you with one of the most feral noises he’s ever made in his life. It tears from deep within his chest.
He cums forever, painting your insides white. 
Jeongin buries his face in the crook of your neck as you both come back down to Earth. Your heavy breathing fans out over his back.
One of your hands starts rubbing up and down his naked skin. It’s warm and inviting and he wants to curl into it forever.
He eventually pulls his face away from your neck and looks down at you with stars in his eyes.
“Good?” you ask.
Jeongin laughs and leans down, pressing a kiss to your nose. “It was perfect.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
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nayatarot777 · 29 days
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What Are Your Future Spouse’s Pet Peeves?
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• Pile One •
The first pet peeve that your future spouse has is people underestimating their power - or other people’s power. You know when someone views you as someone who’s weak and defenceless? They can’t stand shit like that. This might pertain to the way that people treat you and they won’t be happy about others viewing you as someone who they can just say and do whatever they want to. If you also experience any demonisation of your power on a spiritual level (for example, if you’re a witch, a medium, a psychic, a tarot reader, etc) then this will piss them off too. Another pet peeve of theirs is when they witness someone being made to feel guilty for something that they shouldn’t have to carry around guilt for. Any type of gaslighting and manipulation will really send them over the edge, and they’ll be ready to raise hell over shit like that 😂. They also hate when people try to suppress their anger or when they’re told how they “should” or “shouldn’t” feel. When someone tries to suppress their emotions and they feel like they’re not allowed to show their true feelings without being dismissed, it triggers something within them. Your future spouse may have a history of experiencing their emotions being suppressed and disregarded - especially from childhood - and they’ve had to work hard to even get comfortable with showing their feelings. So for someone to overstep that line and try to control the feelings that they show? Yeah…it’s not gonna go down well 💀.
How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?
• Pile Two •
Your future spouse really hates when people keeps secrets from them. And not just personal secrets, but secrets that include them or that would affect them in some way. They’ve experienced throughout life too many secrets already and they don’t like it. At all. Also, people talking shit behind their back. Or talking about them to others without addressing the issue with them directly. They also hate any form of injustice. I feel like your future spouse is someone who will take justice into their own hands if no one else is willing to step up and serve someone their karma. Another pet peeve is those who keep other people’s secrets despite knowing damn well that they should expose that person for all of the skeletons that they have in their closet too. And I’m also seeing that your future spouse has a huge love for Earth and nature, so when they see people littering, destroying and harming the environment, hearing about animals being poached, etc will upset them greatly too. Going back to the message about secrets, your future spouse hates when people try to pry too much into their personal business. The types of people who try to rush into getting to know them are not met with compliance from your future spouse. They’re someone who’s slow to open up and they hate when people don’t respect that.
How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?
• Pile Three •
The first pet peeve of your future spouse that I’m seeing is people who refuse to see the ugly sides of themselves. The shadow side. Those who don’t see themselves for who they truly are (the good AND the bad) gets on your spouse’s nerves to the fullest extent. They can’t stand those people who want to go through life acting like they never do anything wrong, as if they’re perfect. And this annoyance comes out the most when they’re trying to get someone to see the error of their ways and the other person is being so dismissive and stubborn. Basically when someone’s ego gets in the way of knowing themselves thoroughly. They also hate when people choose to use escapist tendencies instead of facing their issues directly. And this mainly applies to the situations in which people becoming escapists affects other people around them. Your future spouse also hates people who don’t show up as their authentic selves. I feel like because they can see through that shit and it makes them feel like so many people are fraudulent. The last pet peeve that I’m seeing is when things from the past pop up a second time around. Whether this is people bringing up what was supposed to be dead and buried already, or people from the past thinking that they can weasel their way back into your spouse’s life after some time has passed after a separation and ending.
How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?
• Pile Four •
I’m seeing two messages about responsibility: your future spouse hates when people don’t take responsibility over themselves, their own actions, their life decisions, etc. And the reason why they hate this is because they understand that when people lack personal responsibility over themselves, that responsibility unfairly falls onto someone else who shouldn’t have to deal with it. They’re also the type of person who can’t stand seeing people not giving someone their praise for achievements in life, no matter how big or small. They don’t like that unsupportive energy that they see coming from people sometimes. Your future spouse is someone who is extremely clairvoyant - they see beneath the surface of peoples actions and energy, and what they say (or what they don’t). And they can’t stand when people act like they’re “reading too deeply” into something just because they bother to see the truth behind people and situations. That’s also why they can’t stand liars 😂. It feels like an insult to their intelligence and their perceptiveness and they don’t stand for any of that.
How Does Your Future Spouse Handle Conflict?
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