#they told me all this personally btw

[ejcaswelll]

some of you may say that seb and big red hooking up and cheating on carlos and ashlyn is ““bad writing”” or “”out of character”” or even ““a truly baffling narrative decision”” but have u considered that they had a big prompt wheel in the writers room that a small gremlin spun whenever the clock struck twelve and they had to write it into the script or else trade their first born to the witch outside in the hall ? maybe think about that next time .

#they told me all this personally btw #hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers

[oatbugs]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

#she said it like a law. its just momentum. #also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together #and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn #they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th #UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there #and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe #ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in #death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is #unwarranted #anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday #they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭 #but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but #alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually #OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW #i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident #....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant

[bbreaddog]

(Keeps getting put into situations while overstimulated)

Inspired by this meme

#mine #i draw things #art #actually audhd #audhd #sensory overload #reaction images #overstimulated #i hereby grant thee permission to save these into your personal meme folders #who the fuck brings a GUEST into the house at 9:30pm on a Tuesday night to perform the Most ritual of all time for the next 2 hours #ALL the lights and fans and cupboards and doors and drawers and windows were open and on the WHOLE TIME #I COULDN’T GET TO MY ROOM WHERE THEY HEADPHONES AND SUNNIES WERE #AND EVEN IF I COULD #I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CLOSE AND TURN OFF ANYTHING FOR PRIVACY AND REPRIEVE #BC OF THE RITUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #THE RITUAL THAT NO ONE TOLD ME WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!! AT 9:30PM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! #AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! #i Did Not Sleep until 3am last night #it was Complete And Utter Hell #(it was a religious ritual btw) #(unrelated to xmas)

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[maxthesillyy]

werewolf interpretations that are everywhere:

sexy alpha male werewolf romance books ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

the werewolf is just a bapy lil ouppy dog aww ❌❌❌❌❌❌

evil. evil werewolf. kills EVERYONE ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

weird kink that isnt sexy alpha male werewolf but isnt the other two either ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌💥💥

werewolf interpretations that i actually want:

metaphor for not fitting inside your own body ✅✅✅✅✅

metaphor for hiding something about yourself ✅✅✅✅✅

metaphor for having control/anger issues ✅✅✅✅✅✅

METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENCE✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅‼️‼️

#ive developed a werewolf hyperfixation for the past few days btw have i told you guys yet #also this is dramatic btw #evil werewolf that kills everyone isnt bad just overrated #i do hate the other 3 tho #thats just me personally tho. #but anyways guys werewolves are autistic and/or some other kind of neurodivergent #all of them #i asked them #trust

[blueskittlesart]

profs will set the due date for the final as april 24 and then STILL NOT HAVE THE FUCKING ASSIGNMENT UP TO SUBMIT THE PAPER BY 11PM ON APRIL TWENTY FUCKING THIRD

#ALEC. BESTIE. PLEASE. I AM BARELY PASSING YOUR CLASS AS IT IS I NEED YOU TO WORK WITH ME HERE #i feel the need to explain the level of bullshit that has been going on with this particular final actually because holy shit. #he first told us about it about 3 weeks ago which. fine. but all he said was 'you will have to pick a topic and write a paper' #like nothing about what the topic should relate to how the paper should be organized word count etc. literally nothing #radio silence for 2 weeks. we all forgot about it. then out of the blue 'btw your papers are due in a week lol!' #so we all scramble to figure out what the hell the assignment actually is #come to find out he never actually posted the assignment brief on canvas as an assignment. the only way we can access it is via a pdf #linked in ANOTHER UNRELATED ASSIGNMENT. #the project brief in question describes several in-class activities we straight up have not done. #no one actually knows if it's really due tomorrow or next week because he keeps pushing shit back and DOESNT ANSWER EMAILS #but the date on the syllabus is the 24th. and there is still nowhere online where we can submit our papers at all. #jesus fucking christ in heaven #personal #he is going to be getting a. shall we say INTERESTING professor review from me. lmao

[six-demon-bag]

how dare he look like this in the middle of a seven hour unending marathon of indignity and suffering on my part

#the last ten minutes lasted three hours #i cried at my partner and he told me to turn it off #he asked what it was about and the answer is the eternal torment of me. personally. #im going to hold db in my teeth and shake him like a rat #depressive turtleneck and cocaine and illegally fluffy hair and all #the face of an angel #sixdemon nonsense #my own personal screenshot. btw. if you even care. i rewound it to get it lol. kill me #daniel brühl

[vvyrmwood]

“you’re autistic but your so high functioning” no i’m not actually. im some things maybe but others no. i’m forced to over extend myself and have to pretend to be in order to be a cog in capitalism machine

#calling me high functioning is not the compliment alltistics seem to think it is btw #having to mask so much is extremely taxing and physically painful at times #being told i don’t seem autistic or im so high functioning that it’s like i’m not autistic is like #buddy u have no idea i am Not this person u think i am at all. im weird and annoying and struggle #but i still have to rp as a normal person just to make y’all comfortable. idk. im over it

[derpinette]

SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

#EVERYONE #NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #& FOREVER #i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them. #i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz) #still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^ #I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving #literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things #for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW #so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing #so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head #ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan #OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG #& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted #to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO. #next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it #i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN #like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...

[leprosycock]

hey i cannot fucking believe that Iudwig abandoned the fake company that he invented just to get jrma under his wing and made him believe that this was going to be jrma’s big retirement plan and he was planning out the rest of his life around this decision and then Iudwig decided to up and fucking leave. just abandoning jrma and st4nz and leaving them to their own devices. leaving a trail of heartbreak and toxicity in his wake. what happened

#oh my god. oh my god ? #sea told me about all this btw we’re hanging out in person rn!!!!!!!! otterabbit together again!!!!!!!!!!!! #i just wonder what the absolute fuck happened. what Happened #bunnyvommit

[unfinishedslurs]

Jonathan Byers This Is An Intervention

“You’re not happy here.”

Jonathan looks up, startled. Will stands in the doorway with his arms crossed. They’re alone in the house, El hanging out with Max and their mom on a date with Hopper. They had to practically shove her out the door before she’d leave, rambling a list of phone numbers and where to find them, as well as reminding them where the leftovers were. 

“We know, Mom,” he and Will had chorused, and permitted her to pull them down for one last kiss on the cheek before closing the door on her. Hopper just watched in amusement. 

He and Will had eaten dinner before separating to work on their projects, Will with a dnd campaign idea and Jonathan cleaning his camera out. It has more dust than it should, having been sitting in his closet unused for too long. It makes something in him ache, but he can’t make himself pick it up again. There’s something blocking him. 

“What?” 

“You’re not happy here,” Will repeats. “In Hawkins.”

“It’s Hawkins,” he points out. Being unhappy is a given. He’s always known it sucks here, from the way people treated his mom to the rumors that always flew around when he made his way through the halls. The way they’ve treated Will. He hated this town long before interdimensional monsters factored in. 

Will’s frown gets deeper. “I’m happy,” he points out. “Mom’s happy. El and Hopper are happy. We actually have friends here.”

“I have friends,” Jonathan protests, slightly offended. He and Argyle call multiple times a week. He and Nancy are still good friends, and Steve and Robin are slowly growing on him. In a surprising turn of events, Eddie is the person his age he talks to the least, but it makes sense when he thinks about it. Eddie’s brand of freak has always been loud and dramatic, half relying on shock value. Jonathan prefers the quiet. 

“When was the last time you actually hung out with someone that wasn’t me?”

Is that what this is about? Something in his heart sinks at the idea that Will doesn’t think he’s enough. “I like hanging out with you. You’re the coolest person I know,” he says, shifting over and patting the bed next to him. 

Will sits down with a huff that sounds very fifteen-year-old of him. He’s glad he’s getting to be a kid. “You’re not listening to me,” he complains. 

“Then what are you trying to say?”

Will won’t meet his eye, suddenly nervous. “Everyone your age here is leaving,” he says quietly. “Nancy is going to Emerson soon, Steve and Robin are going to Chicago, and Eddie…uh, I don’t know his plans, exactly, he might be going with them. He’s not staying here, anyway. And Argyle is on the other side of the country. So all the people you’re friends with are leaving.”

“They are,” he agrees, laying what he hopes is a soothing hand on Will’s shoulder, “but you know I’m not leaving you, right? I’m not leaving you and Mom.”

Will squeezes his eyes shut. “Maybe you should.”

It feels like ice water being poured over his head. 

Something in his stomach twists uncomfortably at the idea of calling Hopper his dad. He doesn’t know if he’s ever going to. He doesn’t even know if Hopper would want him to. But “dad” is always a word he’s associated with bruises and yelling, the stink of whiskey and a gun in his small, shaking hands. Jim Hopper, with his gruff, fumbling way affection and sweet smiles at his daughter will never fit his version of the word. 

“You’re not my dad,” Will says. “You’re my older brother, you should be my brother. You should be moving away and going to college and living your life! You shouldn’t be stuck here because of me.” He seems near tears now, and Jonathan flounders. He’s always been pretty good at making Will feel better, but now it’s different. Now it’s him making his little brother upset.

Will takes a deep, stabilizing breath.

“You’re not my dad,” he says again. “You shouldn’t have to be my dad.”

“I wasn’t trying to be,” he says weakly.

“You’re doing a better job than he ever did.”

“Okay, then how should we start?”

“You could tell me why we’re always running out of tylenol.”

He didn’t even realize anyone noticed that. He’s been replacing it before it was even empty.

The words stick in his throat, reluctant to come out. But he promised. He promised he’d tell him, and he hates to break a promise to Will.

“It’s my back,” he admits. “My boss hit me with a chair, and it hurts all the time now. I used to smoke it away, but…”

He smoked a little too much. He was too reliant on it. He was being neglectful. The reasons stay on the tip of his tongue, unable to admit his shortcomings. 

Unfortunately, Will takes it another way. “You stopped because of me.”

“No!” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Or Mom? We can go to the doctor now, we have insurance.”

“I know.”

“Then why didn’t you go? Why can’t you just take care of yourself?”

“It’s just a little back pain,” he defends, “it’s not a big deal.”

It’s really not. It’s practically nothing compared to what some of their friends ended up with. Will has respiratory problems, Eddie uses a cane now, Max is in a wheelchair and her eyes might never work again. Not to mention Steve’s mix of migraines, glasses, hearing loss, and scars he’s accumulated over the years that put Jonathan’s to shame. His issues pale in comparison.

“It is when you take as many painkillers as you do! You’re going to eat holes in your stomach.”

“If I get an ulcer, it’ll be because I know there’s another world out there full of things that want to kill us,” he says, poking Will in the stomach. He giggles, and then looks mad about it. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you actually happy. I feel like it’s my fault.”

What does he say to that? It can’t be your fault, because I don’t remember the last time I was happy like that? I felt like this long before you went missing? Anything he says will make him worry more. 

“It’s not your fault,” he finally settles on. 

“But if I hadn’t disappeared—“

“I would still feel like this,” he says, because he has to. He can’t stand the idea of Will thinking it’s his fault when the truth is that something has been wrong with Jonathan for a long, long time. “It’s not because of the Upside-Down, bud. It’s not something you can fix. I’m pretty sure I’m just…like this.”

He’s had moments of happiness, obviously. Sometimes he’ll get days, or even weeks, where he genuinely looks forward to the future. When he was in California with Argyle, he felt even better. But eventually, the heaviness in his chest always comes back. It’s just something he knows how to live with now. 

Will sits up, glaring at him. “That’s bullshit!”

“It’s just how it is.”

He squares his shoulders, a telltale sign that Jonathan isn’t going to like whatever he says next. “Mom and I think you should see a therapist.”

Jonathan really doesn’t like that. “You’ve been talking to Mom about this?”

“She’s worried about you!”

“She shouldn’t be!” He’s almost offended. He’s been taking care of himself for years. He was taking care of her for years. “I’m fine! I know how to live with it!” 

“I haven’t seen you smile for real in two months!”

“I’m fine!” He snaps again, and immediately regrets it. Will’s lower lip trembles. 

“You’re not fine,” he says. “You’re not. Don’t lie to me, Jonathan. You just said you weren’t going to lie to me.”

#Jonathan byers this is an intervention au #stranger things fanfic #jonathan byers #Will Byers #depression boy go brrr #YES I am posting my two favorite characters in the show being tragic back to back. What about it #Jonathan Byers definitely has chronic pain and depression that he is 100% using weed to self medicate with. He told me himself #His parentification and loserboy personality have captivated me #I know we all joke about Steve being the kid’s mom or dad or whatever but he’s not. He is NOT #he’s an older brother figure to Dustin Lucas and maybe Max in my brain but Will??? #Will HAS a big brother and he’s the best big brother in the world and I love him so much he’s literally my wife #Did I mention he’s autistic? He’s autistic #This isn’t meant to bash anyone btw I enjoy a lot of “mom steve” content and shit. It’s just the difference between canon and fanon to me #And I’m not bashing on fanon god knows I indulge in it plenty

[miafi]

.

#my gp basically told me to **** ****** #or at least try to #because she can't help me apparently #can't help or doesn't want to? i'd say the second #so on top of trying to find a psychiatrist i need to find a new gp as well #i don't want to see that bitch ever again #i don't trust her at all after today #btw i described textbook symptoms of burnout and she was done with me in 40 seconds #personal #to delete

[pollinatedpansy]

Not to out myself in multiple ways but I got to meet some of the kick as people at the @ao3org booth at fan expo and they had a "take a fic leave a fic l" recommendations board and I put down "A designer dress from heaven and your dirty wedding ring" by the lovely @halfmoth-halfman

#its currently my fav story #absolutely adore it #leaves me in horrible fucking suspense every time #ily btw author #hopefully more popele read it!! #designer dress is fucking amazing #but also the AO3 booth people were so fucking kick ass #told them meeting them all was better than any of the celeb guests #genuinely meant it #also met another person dressed in my little specific fandom fit and nearly cried of happiness #overall feet hurt but pain is temporary for that much joy in one day

[smilesrobotlover]

Okay I'll bite. What happened in this guy's childhood to make him go to the extensive body-destroying lengths to bring his mom back??

-Sky Floor

His father left and his mother was wonderful to Edward and his brother, they loved her very much. But in the 2003 version, she died, possibly from being heartbroken over Edward’s father leaving. She was sick for days and finally passed away. In the brotherhood version it was definitely an illness that passed around Risembool (where Edward lived) and his mother caught it and she died. He and his brother missed her and Edward wanted nothing more than to bring his mother back. He thought he would use alchemy to do it, but human transmutation is very illegal because of how dangerous it is. Alchemy is dependent on equivalent exchange, and it’s practically impossible to bring someone back to life. So Ed lost his leg, and Alphonse lost his entire body. Ed couldn’t lose his little brother so he connected Al’s soul to a suit of armor, losing his arm in the process.

Oh but don’t worry! His life gets so much worse :)

#there’s two versions of this show #there’s 2003 that was following the manga but caught up too quickly so it did its own thing #and brotherhood that honestly didn’t follow the manga in the beginning but DID especially in the end #2003 is MUCH darker than brotherhood #brotherhood is dark but not as much as 2003 so if you want a not so dark anime with a definite happy ending then brotherhood is for you #if you’re fine with a dark anime with a bittersweet ending and a very messy film at the end. then 2003 works too #I personally love both #but they are VERY very different from each other lol #like it’s funny at how vastly different they are #but regardless this show is amazing. both versions have a great story #beautiful brotherhood #and well written characters #like don’t get me started on the female characters they are ALL amazing #especially in brotherhood #anyways I’m done I hope that told you enough #now it has been a hot second since I’ve seen 2003 and brotherhood so the death of their mother may be different than what I said #but oh well #today is a special holiday for fma enjoyers btw #asks

[hopefulqueer]

One thing they won't tell you about college is that if you find out that you need a piece of paper signed by 5 faculty members in different departments in the span of a week, it simply won't happen. You'll get four signatures in 2 days and then the fourth guy will send it off to the fifth and there will be radio silence and you'll email the fifth like "hey bro any idea how long this will take" and the fifth will be like "lol lmao what paper". And also your advisor will disappear for the entirety of finals week without warning leaving nothing but an automated out-of-the-office email response so you have nobody to turn to for help. And then you won't graduate.

#personal #i'm actually losing it a little bit guys #if this paper doesnt get signed off by the registrar in the next few hours i just wont graduate #and all my plans are completely fucked #this all happened btw bc instructions i got for getting an old writing 100 class waived since id already taken writing 200 #turned out to have changed since they emailed me those instructions #but bc i've had those old instructions bookmarked in my email for months and nobody told me things had changed #i had no reason to think i needed to check the website for the instructions. bc they were in my email. #so i have everything green checked on my graduation card except writing 100 #:)

[sometimes-sleeby-octopus]

I made a ninjago bracelet with clay beads

#ninjago #I would’ve added nia but I have a limited color palette #personally I’m a Zane Stan. I might make a bracelet themed on him next #and maybe one for Cole too #rant about math in next tags btw #also can I just say arithmetic is the one math thing I actually use in my life #Wish they taught me how to do that faster instead of all the other bullcrap #The unit circle? can go fuck itself /j #I have bad experiences with math lol #Also if I get told that I’m good at it one more time I will riot